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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,800 --> 00:00:03,840 You can't go on a date and go, number-one or number-two question, 2 00:00:03,840 --> 00:00:04,600 You can't go on a date and go, number-one or number-two question, 3 00:00:04,600 --> 00:00:06,040 "So, when do you want children?" 4 00:00:07,480 --> 00:00:09,520 It's against the rules of dating. 5 00:00:09,520 --> 00:00:09,720 It's against the rules of dating. 6 00:00:11,160 --> 00:00:13,200 Hello. Hello. How are you doing? 7 00:00:13,200 --> 00:00:13,520 Hello. Hello. How are you doing? 8 00:00:13,520 --> 00:00:15,560 This - you can break all those rules. 9 00:00:15,560 --> 00:00:15,800 This - you can break all those rules. 10 00:00:17,400 --> 00:00:19,440 Human beings have been making babies for ever... 11 00:00:19,440 --> 00:00:19,840 Human beings have been making babies for ever... 12 00:00:19,840 --> 00:00:21,680 How are you doin'? Nice to meet you. 13 00:00:21,680 --> 00:00:23,720 ..but how some of us do it is changing. 14 00:00:23,720 --> 00:00:24,400 ..but how some of us do it is changing. 15 00:00:24,400 --> 00:00:25,640 You have beautiful hair 16 00:00:25,640 --> 00:00:27,000 And you have a great beard! 17 00:00:28,120 --> 00:00:30,000 70,000 people in the UK 18 00:00:30,000 --> 00:00:32,040 are thought to be advertising themselves online 19 00:00:32,040 --> 00:00:32,840 are thought to be advertising themselves online 20 00:00:32,840 --> 00:00:34,400 as a prospective co-parent. 21 00:00:34,400 --> 00:00:35,920 It's all a bit surreal, isn't it? 22 00:00:35,920 --> 00:00:37,960 No, no. Just two people meeting, having a child...! 23 00:00:37,960 --> 00:00:39,440 No, no. Just two people meeting, having a child...! 24 00:00:41,160 --> 00:00:43,200 Strangers having babies together outside a sexual relationship... 25 00:00:43,200 --> 00:00:44,360 Strangers having babies together outside a sexual relationship... 26 00:00:44,360 --> 00:00:45,920 THEY LAUGH 27 00:00:45,920 --> 00:00:47,840 As you can see, we get on really, really well. 28 00:00:47,840 --> 00:00:49,880 ..goes against the fundamental traditions of romance. 29 00:00:49,880 --> 00:00:50,680 ..goes against the fundamental traditions of romance. 30 00:00:50,680 --> 00:00:52,640 I wanted to meet somebody and fall in love, 31 00:00:52,640 --> 00:00:54,560 but it hasn't happened. 32 00:00:54,560 --> 00:00:56,600 It's now or never. I need to have children 33 00:00:56,600 --> 00:00:57,200 It's now or never. I need to have children 34 00:00:57,200 --> 00:00:58,840 and I want to have children. 35 00:00:58,840 --> 00:01:00,880 Now, without the complication of finding love... 36 00:01:00,880 --> 00:01:01,840 Now, without the complication of finding love... 37 00:01:01,840 --> 00:01:03,880 If it's a turkey baster at home, then so be it. 38 00:01:03,880 --> 00:01:05,000 If it's a turkey baster at home, then so be it. 39 00:01:05,000 --> 00:01:07,040 ..these would-be parents are throwing themselves 40 00:01:07,040 --> 00:01:07,440 ..these would-be parents are throwing themselves 41 00:01:07,440 --> 00:01:09,360 into a ground-breaking scheme... 42 00:01:09,360 --> 00:01:11,400 It's a combination of science, but also looking at the people. 43 00:01:11,400 --> 00:01:13,080 It's a combination of science, but also looking at the people. 44 00:01:13,080 --> 00:01:15,120 ..a first of its kind, run by fertility and dating experts... 45 00:01:15,120 --> 00:01:16,920 ..a first of its kind, run by fertility and dating experts... 46 00:01:16,920 --> 00:01:18,760 If you can laugh and share, 47 00:01:18,760 --> 00:01:20,800 that's hopefully going to see you through. Yeah. 48 00:01:20,800 --> 00:01:21,560 that's hopefully going to see you through. Yeah. 49 00:01:22,960 --> 00:01:25,000 They're out to prove that when it comes to parenthood... 50 00:01:25,000 --> 00:01:25,760 They're out to prove that when it comes to parenthood... 51 00:01:25,760 --> 00:01:27,320 ..there's a new dawn. 52 00:01:27,320 --> 00:01:29,360 I feel really nervous now. I feel really scared. 53 00:01:29,360 --> 00:01:30,640 I feel really nervous now. I feel really scared. 54 00:01:30,640 --> 00:01:32,680 But does redefining relationships... 55 00:01:32,680 --> 00:01:32,960 But does redefining relationships... 56 00:01:32,960 --> 00:01:34,840 He comments a lot about my looks 57 00:01:34,840 --> 00:01:36,600 ..go against human nature? 58 00:01:36,600 --> 00:01:38,600 I wouldn't say romance is off the cards. 59 00:01:38,600 --> 00:01:39,160 I wouldn't say romance is off the cards. 60 00:01:39,160 --> 00:01:40,960 And can a platonic arrangement... 61 00:01:40,960 --> 00:01:43,000 This decision is huge People don't do this every day. 62 00:01:43,000 --> 00:01:44,200 This decision is huge People don't do this every day. 63 00:01:44,200 --> 00:01:46,000 He's such an amazing guy too. 64 00:01:46,000 --> 00:01:48,040 ..actually lead to making babies? 65 00:01:48,040 --> 00:01:48,360 ..actually lead to making babies? 66 00:01:48,360 --> 00:01:50,400 We are completely on different tracks. 67 00:01:50,400 --> 00:01:50,760 We are completely on different tracks. 68 00:01:52,400 --> 00:01:54,320 I'm afraid of losing him. 69 00:02:05,240 --> 00:02:07,280 39-year-old singleton Sarah 70 00:02:07,280 --> 00:02:07,840 39-year-old singleton Sarah 71 00:02:07,840 --> 00:02:09,840 hit it off with Manchester-based Ian. 72 00:02:09,840 --> 00:02:11,640 Hello, nice to meet you. Lovely to meet you. 73 00:02:11,640 --> 00:02:13,520 Shared ideals brought them together... 74 00:02:13,520 --> 00:02:15,560 I think some of my values are quite traditional... 75 00:02:15,560 --> 00:02:16,000 I think some of my values are quite traditional... 76 00:02:16,000 --> 00:02:17,720 Me too, 100%. 77 00:02:17,720 --> 00:02:19,200 ..but it might be distance... 78 00:02:19,200 --> 00:02:21,160 So, this is Manchester. Oooh! 79 00:02:21,160 --> 00:02:22,800 ..that keeps them apart. 80 00:02:22,800 --> 00:02:24,840 I want to be a really active part of that child's life. 81 00:02:24,840 --> 00:02:25,520 I want to be a really active part of that child's life. 82 00:02:25,520 --> 00:02:27,560 35-year-old nanny Venicia 83 00:02:27,560 --> 00:02:27,800 35-year-old nanny Venicia 84 00:02:27,800 --> 00:02:29,600 dazzled musician Nigel... 85 00:02:29,600 --> 00:02:30,840 I'm impressed. 86 00:02:30,840 --> 00:02:32,680 What a lovely person you are. 87 00:02:32,680 --> 00:02:34,720 ..but it was their shared sense of humour... 88 00:02:34,720 --> 00:02:35,040 ..but it was their shared sense of humour... 89 00:02:35,040 --> 00:02:36,600 Thank you so much. You can go now. I'm... 90 00:02:36,600 --> 00:02:37,840 SHE LAUGHS 91 00:02:37,840 --> 00:02:39,880 ..and bonding over fertility issues... 92 00:02:39,880 --> 00:02:40,200 ..and bonding over fertility issues... 93 00:02:40,200 --> 00:02:42,120 This is why time is of the essence. 94 00:02:42,120 --> 00:02:44,160 ..which convinced Venicia to move forward with Nigel. 95 00:02:44,160 --> 00:02:45,280 ..which convinced Venicia to move forward with Nigel. 96 00:02:45,280 --> 00:02:47,320 I do believe that any child that has you for a father 97 00:02:47,320 --> 00:02:48,320 I do believe that any child that has you for a father 98 00:02:48,320 --> 00:02:50,160 would be so lucky, so... 99 00:02:50,160 --> 00:02:52,200 I'm happy she's chosen me. 100 00:02:52,200 --> 00:02:52,520 I'm happy she's chosen me. 101 00:02:52,520 --> 00:02:53,840 Very happy. 102 00:02:53,840 --> 00:02:55,880 Makes me feel like we can move on and get on with things. 103 00:02:55,880 --> 00:02:56,640 Makes me feel like we can move on and get on with things. 104 00:03:03,320 --> 00:03:05,080 A year into their journey, 105 00:03:05,080 --> 00:03:07,120 now the final step of the project 106 00:03:07,120 --> 00:03:07,480 now the final step of the project 107 00:03:07,480 --> 00:03:09,520 is for the potential co-parents to spend several days together. 108 00:03:09,520 --> 00:03:11,080 is for the potential co-parents to spend several days together. 109 00:03:11,080 --> 00:03:13,120 This will ultimately determine whether they go on to have a child. 110 00:03:13,120 --> 00:03:14,720 This will ultimately determine whether they go on to have a child. 111 00:03:16,480 --> 00:03:18,520 This last stage of the process is probably the hardest, 112 00:03:18,520 --> 00:03:19,200 This last stage of the process is probably the hardest, 113 00:03:19,200 --> 00:03:21,240 where they're going to start negotiating 114 00:03:21,240 --> 00:03:21,680 where they're going to start negotiating 115 00:03:21,680 --> 00:03:23,720 their potential co-parenting agreement. 116 00:03:23,720 --> 00:03:24,480 their potential co-parenting agreement. 117 00:03:24,480 --> 00:03:26,520 This involves grappling with those thorny issues such as 118 00:03:26,520 --> 00:03:28,280 This involves grappling with those thorny issues such as 119 00:03:28,280 --> 00:03:30,320 where, potentially, the child might live, 120 00:03:30,320 --> 00:03:31,000 where, potentially, the child might live, 121 00:03:31,000 --> 00:03:33,040 and, quite critically, how quickly they would embark 122 00:03:33,040 --> 00:03:33,840 and, quite critically, how quickly they would embark 123 00:03:33,840 --> 00:03:35,840 on any fertility treatment. 124 00:03:35,840 --> 00:03:37,880 I think they need dedicated time 125 00:03:37,880 --> 00:03:38,520 I think they need dedicated time 126 00:03:38,520 --> 00:03:40,560 and space to have these really difficult discussions. 127 00:03:40,560 --> 00:03:41,880 and space to have these really difficult discussions. 128 00:03:44,960 --> 00:03:47,000 En route to a holiday rental in north London 129 00:03:47,000 --> 00:03:48,120 En route to a holiday rental in north London 130 00:03:48,120 --> 00:03:50,160 is 47-year-old musician Nigel. 131 00:03:50,160 --> 00:03:50,360 is 47-year-old musician Nigel. 132 00:03:53,280 --> 00:03:55,320 Spending the weekend with Venicia... 133 00:03:55,320 --> 00:03:55,640 Spending the weekend with Venicia... 134 00:03:55,640 --> 00:03:57,680 I'm looking forward to getting some solid answers 135 00:03:57,680 --> 00:03:59,520 I'm looking forward to getting some solid answers 136 00:03:59,520 --> 00:04:01,560 for direction in what we do next. 137 00:04:01,560 --> 00:04:02,800 for direction in what we do next. 138 00:04:02,800 --> 00:04:04,840 Things I want to know are finances, 139 00:04:04,840 --> 00:04:06,000 Things I want to know are finances, 140 00:04:06,000 --> 00:04:08,040 her living situation 141 00:04:08,040 --> 00:04:08,360 her living situation 142 00:04:08,360 --> 00:04:10,400 and, should she have a child, how she wants to work, 143 00:04:10,400 --> 00:04:11,280 and, should she have a child, how she wants to work, 144 00:04:11,280 --> 00:04:12,840 how she pays the bills. 145 00:04:12,840 --> 00:04:14,760 I need to know all of those things as well. 146 00:04:14,760 --> 00:04:16,800 So, it will definitely be a make-or-break weekend, 147 00:04:16,800 --> 00:04:17,400 So, it will definitely be a make-or-break weekend, 148 00:04:17,400 --> 00:04:18,440 that's for sure. 149 00:04:22,160 --> 00:04:24,200 So, I've already made up my mind. 150 00:04:24,200 --> 00:04:24,440 So, I've already made up my mind. 151 00:04:24,440 --> 00:04:26,480 I'm like 95% sure 152 00:04:26,480 --> 00:04:28,120 I'm like 95% sure 153 00:04:28,120 --> 00:04:30,160 that I would like to have Nigel as a co-parent. 154 00:04:30,160 --> 00:04:32,200 that I would like to have Nigel as a co-parent. 155 00:04:32,200 --> 00:04:32,640 that I would like to have Nigel as a co-parent. 156 00:04:32,640 --> 00:04:34,680 A concern would be if he learns something about me 157 00:04:34,680 --> 00:04:36,360 A concern would be if he learns something about me 158 00:04:36,360 --> 00:04:38,400 that he doesn't like, or he changes his mind. 159 00:04:38,400 --> 00:04:38,720 that he doesn't like, or he changes his mind. 160 00:04:38,720 --> 00:04:40,760 So, that would be quite devastating, to be honest. 161 00:04:40,760 --> 00:04:42,240 So, that would be quite devastating, to be honest. 162 00:04:42,240 --> 00:04:44,280 Since lockdown eased, there's been a change in Nigel's situation. 163 00:04:44,280 --> 00:04:46,320 Since lockdown eased, there's been a change in Nigel's situation. 164 00:04:46,320 --> 00:04:47,280 Since lockdown eased, there's been a change in Nigel's situation. 165 00:04:47,280 --> 00:04:49,320 First time I met Venicia, I did find her attractive. 166 00:04:49,320 --> 00:04:49,920 First time I met Venicia, I did find her attractive. 167 00:04:49,920 --> 00:04:51,600 What's changed since then 168 00:04:51,600 --> 00:04:53,440 is that I'm now in a relationship with somebody. 169 00:04:54,800 --> 00:04:56,840 It's been several weeks since Nigel broke the news 170 00:04:56,840 --> 00:04:57,640 It's been several weeks since Nigel broke the news 171 00:04:57,640 --> 00:04:59,680 about his new girlfriend to Venicia. 172 00:04:59,680 --> 00:05:00,000 about his new girlfriend to Venicia. 173 00:05:00,000 --> 00:05:01,960 I'm not quite sure how she feels about it, 174 00:05:01,960 --> 00:05:04,000 because we... I left it with her as, "Go away, have a think about it, 175 00:05:04,000 --> 00:05:06,040 because we... I left it with her as, "Go away, have a think about it, 176 00:05:06,040 --> 00:05:06,360 because we... I left it with her as, "Go away, have a think about it, 177 00:05:06,360 --> 00:05:08,240 "and then by all means come back to me, 178 00:05:08,240 --> 00:05:10,280 "and whatever you decide to do and however you feel about it is fine." 179 00:05:10,280 --> 00:05:11,080 "and whatever you decide to do and however you feel about it is fine." 180 00:05:11,080 --> 00:05:13,120 Erm, she hasn't done that, she hasn't been back to me. 181 00:05:13,120 --> 00:05:13,440 Erm, she hasn't done that, she hasn't been back to me. 182 00:05:13,440 --> 00:05:15,440 We've spoken since. It's not been mentioned, 183 00:05:15,440 --> 00:05:17,480 so I'm just presuming that she's...she's fine with it. 184 00:05:17,480 --> 00:05:18,240 so I'm just presuming that she's...she's fine with it. 185 00:05:18,240 --> 00:05:19,880 It's neither here nor there for me, 186 00:05:19,880 --> 00:05:21,920 because the relationship has no bearing on...on this. 187 00:05:21,920 --> 00:05:22,720 because the relationship has no bearing on...on this. 188 00:05:27,040 --> 00:05:29,080 With the pandemic still prevalent, 189 00:05:29,080 --> 00:05:31,120 the couples have self-isolated in advance of their reunion. 190 00:05:31,120 --> 00:05:32,240 the couples have self-isolated in advance of their reunion. 191 00:05:34,520 --> 00:05:35,520 Hello! 192 00:05:37,160 --> 00:05:38,680 Honey, I'm home! 193 00:05:38,680 --> 00:05:40,440 SHE LAUGHS I mean... 194 00:05:41,920 --> 00:05:43,560 Hi. How are you doing? 195 00:05:43,560 --> 00:05:45,400 Good hug. 196 00:05:45,400 --> 00:05:47,440 Hi. I've been waiting for ages for you. Where have you been? 197 00:05:47,440 --> 00:05:48,280 Hi. I've been waiting for ages for you. Where have you been? 198 00:05:48,280 --> 00:05:50,320 So, this is... I mean, it's...not ideal. 199 00:05:50,320 --> 00:05:51,280 So, this is... I mean, it's...not ideal. 200 00:05:51,280 --> 00:05:53,320 You know, it's, erm... It will do, I think. 201 00:05:53,320 --> 00:05:53,760 You know, it's, erm... It will do, I think. 202 00:05:53,760 --> 00:05:55,520 It's a bit shabby? I think it will do. 203 00:05:55,520 --> 00:05:57,120 Ladies first. Thank you. 204 00:05:57,120 --> 00:05:58,520 Is this supposed to be the...? 205 00:05:58,520 --> 00:06:00,560 OK, I'm going to dibs the nicest room! 206 00:06:00,560 --> 00:06:00,880 OK, I'm going to dibs the nicest room! 207 00:06:00,880 --> 00:06:02,280 You think I'd live in a dump like this? 208 00:06:02,280 --> 00:06:03,480 Oh! 209 00:06:03,480 --> 00:06:04,840 OK... I'm... 210 00:06:04,840 --> 00:06:06,880 OK, this one's mine! All right, fine. 211 00:06:06,880 --> 00:06:07,200 OK, this one's mine! All right, fine. 212 00:06:07,200 --> 00:06:09,000 Come and see. I guess I'll have a look. Yep. 213 00:06:09,000 --> 00:06:10,080 Oh, wow. 214 00:06:10,080 --> 00:06:11,560 Right! 215 00:06:11,560 --> 00:06:12,960 This will do. 216 00:06:12,960 --> 00:06:14,600 That's a bit more you, this. 217 00:06:14,600 --> 00:06:16,640 That's more of a boy's room, I'll be honest with you - the big bed. 218 00:06:16,640 --> 00:06:17,560 That's more of a boy's room, I'll be honest with you - the big bed. 219 00:06:17,560 --> 00:06:19,480 It's lucky I'm so generous, isn't it? 220 00:06:19,480 --> 00:06:21,520 It's been a while since Nigel and I have been face to face. 221 00:06:21,520 --> 00:06:22,640 It's been a while since Nigel and I have been face to face. 222 00:06:22,640 --> 00:06:24,680 And having conversations and talking on the phone, 223 00:06:24,680 --> 00:06:26,160 And having conversations and talking on the phone, 224 00:06:26,160 --> 00:06:28,200 um, we're way more comfortable with each other and, as you can see, 225 00:06:28,200 --> 00:06:29,440 um, we're way more comfortable with each other and, as you can see, 226 00:06:29,440 --> 00:06:31,360 we get on really, really well. 227 00:06:31,360 --> 00:06:33,400 Side note. Can I just tell you something? Fun fact. 228 00:06:33,400 --> 00:06:33,720 Side note. Can I just tell you something? Fun fact. 229 00:06:33,720 --> 00:06:35,760 Elderflower cordial is good for morning sickness. 230 00:06:35,760 --> 00:06:36,000 Elderflower cordial is good for morning sickness. 231 00:06:36,000 --> 00:06:37,480 Just putting it out there. 232 00:06:37,480 --> 00:06:39,520 I don't really get it, to be honest with you, so... 233 00:06:39,520 --> 00:06:39,760 I don't really get it, to be honest with you, so... 234 00:06:39,760 --> 00:06:41,160 SHE LAUGHS 235 00:06:41,160 --> 00:06:42,800 MUSIC ON CAR RADIO 236 00:06:46,080 --> 00:06:48,120 RADIO: Forecasters say we're going to get one final... 237 00:06:48,120 --> 00:06:49,480 RADIO: Forecasters say we're going to get one final... 238 00:06:49,480 --> 00:06:51,520 Making the 360-mile round trip from Reading to Manchester 239 00:06:51,520 --> 00:06:53,040 Making the 360-mile round trip from Reading to Manchester 240 00:06:53,040 --> 00:06:54,120 is 38-year-old Sarah. 241 00:06:55,920 --> 00:06:57,640 I'm coming to see Ian 242 00:06:57,640 --> 00:06:59,680 to spend the weekend with him. 243 00:06:59,680 --> 00:07:00,400 to spend the weekend with him. 244 00:07:01,640 --> 00:07:03,680 So much in my life has changed since I last met him. 245 00:07:03,680 --> 00:07:04,960 So much in my life has changed since I last met him. 246 00:07:06,920 --> 00:07:08,960 There are lots of things that we have to discuss, 247 00:07:08,960 --> 00:07:09,920 There are lots of things that we have to discuss, 248 00:07:09,920 --> 00:07:11,960 and I'm nervous, because I don't have a lot of the answers 249 00:07:11,960 --> 00:07:13,160 and I'm nervous, because I don't have a lot of the answers 250 00:07:13,160 --> 00:07:14,600 that I think he might want to know. 251 00:07:18,720 --> 00:07:19,840 Why now...? 252 00:07:21,560 --> 00:07:23,600 I've been cleaning, I've been painting, 253 00:07:23,600 --> 00:07:23,840 I've been cleaning, I've been painting, 254 00:07:23,840 --> 00:07:25,480 I've been doing the garden. 255 00:07:25,480 --> 00:07:27,520 Yeah, it's taken me pretty much all week to, 256 00:07:27,520 --> 00:07:28,640 Yeah, it's taken me pretty much all week to, 257 00:07:28,640 --> 00:07:30,680 uh, to get the house like I want it. 258 00:07:30,680 --> 00:07:30,920 uh, to get the house like I want it. 259 00:07:30,920 --> 00:07:33,040 I want it to look like somewhere 260 00:07:33,040 --> 00:07:35,080 Sarah can imagine there being children. 261 00:07:35,080 --> 00:07:35,680 Sarah can imagine there being children. 262 00:07:36,800 --> 00:07:38,800 DOORBELL 263 00:07:38,800 --> 00:07:40,440 Hello. Hello! How are you doing? 264 00:07:40,440 --> 00:07:42,480 You good? You remember these two? Hello. 265 00:07:42,480 --> 00:07:43,760 You good? You remember these two? Hello. 266 00:07:43,760 --> 00:07:45,800 So, how have you been? Yeah, all right, actually. 267 00:07:45,800 --> 00:07:46,440 So, how have you been? Yeah, all right, actually. 268 00:07:46,440 --> 00:07:47,960 Yeah? Yeah, OK. 269 00:07:47,960 --> 00:07:49,720 It still feels all surreal. 270 00:07:49,720 --> 00:07:51,760 I mean, like, when we saw each other last was obviously... 271 00:07:51,760 --> 00:07:52,560 I mean, like, when we saw each other last was obviously... 272 00:07:52,560 --> 00:07:54,600 The world was normal... Oh, my gosh, yeah. 273 00:07:54,600 --> 00:07:54,920 The world was normal... Oh, my gosh, yeah. 274 00:07:54,920 --> 00:07:56,960 And now, obviously, it's not so normal. 275 00:07:56,960 --> 00:07:59,000 No. And... It's all changed now, hasn't it? 276 00:07:59,000 --> 00:07:59,240 No. And... It's all changed now, hasn't it? 277 00:07:59,240 --> 00:08:00,280 Yes. 278 00:08:02,400 --> 00:08:04,120 So, this weekend with Sarah, 279 00:08:04,120 --> 00:08:06,160 the fact that I feel several steps closer to kind of this goal 280 00:08:06,160 --> 00:08:08,200 the fact that I feel several steps closer to kind of this goal 281 00:08:08,200 --> 00:08:08,440 the fact that I feel several steps closer to kind of this goal 282 00:08:08,440 --> 00:08:10,320 does feel terrifying, 283 00:08:10,320 --> 00:08:12,360 because we don't know how it's going to work. 284 00:08:12,360 --> 00:08:13,760 because we don't know how it's going to work. 285 00:08:13,760 --> 00:08:15,800 We don't know the practicalities around it. 286 00:08:15,800 --> 00:08:16,160 We don't know the practicalities around it. 287 00:08:16,160 --> 00:08:18,080 And this is my dining room. 288 00:08:18,080 --> 00:08:20,120 And I think we're still at the point where it could go either way. 289 00:08:20,120 --> 00:08:22,160 And I think we're still at the point where it could go either way. 290 00:08:22,160 --> 00:08:22,320 And I think we're still at the point where it could go either way. 291 00:08:26,240 --> 00:08:28,280 There are some conversations 292 00:08:28,280 --> 00:08:28,720 There are some conversations 293 00:08:28,720 --> 00:08:30,760 that we need to have. 294 00:08:30,760 --> 00:08:30,920 that we need to have. 295 00:08:32,080 --> 00:08:34,120 Since we last met up, 296 00:08:34,120 --> 00:08:34,440 Since we last met up, 297 00:08:34,440 --> 00:08:36,480 erm, things have changed a little bit. 298 00:08:36,480 --> 00:08:37,400 erm, things have changed a little bit. 299 00:08:37,400 --> 00:08:39,440 At the start of coronavirus, 300 00:08:39,440 --> 00:08:40,520 At the start of coronavirus, 301 00:08:40,520 --> 00:08:42,560 my life had to slow down, and... 302 00:08:42,560 --> 00:08:44,400 my life had to slow down, and... 303 00:08:44,400 --> 00:08:46,280 ..I really enjoyed it. 304 00:08:46,280 --> 00:08:48,320 And for the first time in a long time 305 00:08:48,320 --> 00:08:49,240 And for the first time in a long time 306 00:08:49,240 --> 00:08:51,280 I felt like myself again. 307 00:08:51,280 --> 00:08:51,680 I felt like myself again. 308 00:08:51,680 --> 00:08:53,720 And...I want to live a life 309 00:08:53,720 --> 00:08:55,360 And...I want to live a life 310 00:08:55,360 --> 00:08:57,400 that I feel like that... all the time. 311 00:08:57,400 --> 00:08:57,960 that I feel like that... all the time. 312 00:08:59,600 --> 00:09:01,280 I know somewhere 313 00:09:01,280 --> 00:09:03,320 where the pace of life is more in my own control 314 00:09:03,320 --> 00:09:04,640 where the pace of life is more in my own control 315 00:09:04,640 --> 00:09:06,680 and my parents live there as well. 316 00:09:06,680 --> 00:09:07,320 and my parents live there as well. 317 00:09:08,920 --> 00:09:10,720 And that place is Cornwall. 318 00:09:12,920 --> 00:09:14,960 It's a drive, you know. It's a heck of a drive between the two places. 319 00:09:14,960 --> 00:09:16,800 It's a drive, you know. It's a heck of a drive between the two places. 320 00:09:16,800 --> 00:09:18,840 From Manchester to Reading, where she lived before, was a long way, 321 00:09:18,840 --> 00:09:20,080 From Manchester to Reading, where she lived before, was a long way, 322 00:09:20,080 --> 00:09:22,120 but Cornwall is even further. 323 00:09:22,120 --> 00:09:22,440 but Cornwall is even further. 324 00:09:22,440 --> 00:09:24,480 Were you brought up in Cornwall? Is that where you're from? 325 00:09:24,480 --> 00:09:24,800 Were you brought up in Cornwall? Is that where you're from? 326 00:09:24,800 --> 00:09:26,840 No. My parents decided to relocate down there. 327 00:09:26,840 --> 00:09:28,440 No. My parents decided to relocate down there. 328 00:09:28,440 --> 00:09:30,560 The news that, erm, 329 00:09:30,560 --> 00:09:32,600 I'm moving significantly further away from him 330 00:09:32,600 --> 00:09:34,480 I'm moving significantly further away from him 331 00:09:34,480 --> 00:09:36,520 I think shocked Ian a little bit. 332 00:09:36,520 --> 00:09:37,360 I think shocked Ian a little bit. 333 00:09:37,360 --> 00:09:39,400 And I appreciate why, 334 00:09:39,400 --> 00:09:39,800 And I appreciate why, 335 00:09:39,800 --> 00:09:41,840 but I just really hope that I haven't scared him away. 336 00:09:41,840 --> 00:09:42,400 but I just really hope that I haven't scared him away. 337 00:09:43,760 --> 00:09:45,800 You know, it's something we can talk through and...and... 338 00:09:45,800 --> 00:09:46,640 You know, it's something we can talk through and...and... 339 00:09:46,640 --> 00:09:48,360 I-I don't know. 340 00:09:48,360 --> 00:09:50,200 It is a big deal. 341 00:09:50,200 --> 00:09:52,240 If we live, you know, at the other ends of the country, 342 00:09:52,240 --> 00:09:53,440 If we live, you know, at the other ends of the country, 343 00:09:53,440 --> 00:09:55,480 how do we realistically, and practically, co-parent somebody? 344 00:09:55,480 --> 00:09:57,520 how do we realistically, and practically, co-parent somebody? 345 00:09:57,520 --> 00:09:57,760 how do we realistically, and practically, co-parent somebody? 346 00:09:59,000 --> 00:10:01,040 I think we need to, probably at some point over the weekend... 347 00:10:01,040 --> 00:10:01,840 I think we need to, probably at some point over the weekend... 348 00:10:01,840 --> 00:10:02,960 Yeah. 349 00:10:02,960 --> 00:10:05,000 ..delve into it a little bit deeper, I guess. 350 00:10:05,000 --> 00:10:05,160 ..delve into it a little bit deeper, I guess. 351 00:10:13,920 --> 00:10:15,960 It's perfect. I'm giving you that one. 352 00:10:15,960 --> 00:10:16,280 It's perfect. I'm giving you that one. 353 00:10:16,280 --> 00:10:18,320 You can do this. Why would you give this to me? 354 00:10:18,320 --> 00:10:18,720 You can do this. Why would you give this to me? 355 00:10:18,720 --> 00:10:20,760 You're the one with the bad back. It's true. 356 00:10:20,760 --> 00:10:21,040 You're the one with the bad back. It's true. 357 00:10:21,040 --> 00:10:23,080 How is everything and what's new? 358 00:10:23,080 --> 00:10:23,480 How is everything and what's new? 359 00:10:23,480 --> 00:10:25,520 How's the band...? Yeah, well, obviously I've told you 360 00:10:25,520 --> 00:10:25,840 How's the band...? Yeah, well, obviously I've told you 361 00:10:25,840 --> 00:10:27,880 I'm...I'm seeing someone. OK. How's that going? 362 00:10:27,880 --> 00:10:28,520 I'm...I'm seeing someone. OK. How's that going? 363 00:10:28,520 --> 00:10:30,560 Yeah, it's going really well, actually, really well. 364 00:10:30,560 --> 00:10:31,280 Yeah, it's going really well, actually, really well. 365 00:10:31,280 --> 00:10:33,320 And what does she think? She's supportive of it. 366 00:10:33,320 --> 00:10:33,760 And what does she think? She's supportive of it. 367 00:10:33,760 --> 00:10:35,680 She knows, you know... She's supportive of me 368 00:10:35,680 --> 00:10:37,680 doing what I want to do, which is important. 369 00:10:37,680 --> 00:10:39,720 Erm, she has family. They're all pretty much grown up. 370 00:10:39,720 --> 00:10:40,440 Erm, she has family. They're all pretty much grown up. 371 00:10:40,440 --> 00:10:42,200 She's the same age as me. 372 00:10:42,200 --> 00:10:44,240 It's a very mature, adult situation. 373 00:10:44,240 --> 00:10:45,960 It's a very mature, adult situation. 374 00:10:47,480 --> 00:10:49,520 My concern is that maybe he will not want to have a baby now, 375 00:10:49,520 --> 00:10:51,320 My concern is that maybe he will not want to have a baby now, 376 00:10:51,320 --> 00:10:53,360 because you've got someone who's the same age as you, 377 00:10:53,360 --> 00:10:54,560 because you've got someone who's the same age as you, 378 00:10:54,560 --> 00:10:56,600 who has already had children - her children are grown up, 379 00:10:56,600 --> 00:10:57,560 who has already had children - her children are grown up, 380 00:10:57,560 --> 00:10:59,200 doing their own thing. 381 00:10:59,200 --> 00:11:01,240 Now, where do you fit a baby into this situation? 382 00:11:01,240 --> 00:11:02,120 Now, where do you fit a baby into this situation? 383 00:11:02,120 --> 00:11:04,160 But how would she feel about potentially raising a baby, 384 00:11:04,160 --> 00:11:05,680 But how would she feel about potentially raising a baby, 385 00:11:05,680 --> 00:11:07,720 a new-born baby? Well... A new-born... 386 00:11:07,720 --> 00:11:08,080 a new-born baby? Well... A new-born... 387 00:11:08,080 --> 00:11:09,560 It's difficult, because this... 388 00:11:09,560 --> 00:11:11,600 Cos it's not even a thing right now, yeah. I can't answer. 389 00:11:11,600 --> 00:11:12,240 Cos it's not even a thing right now, yeah. I can't answer. 390 00:11:12,240 --> 00:11:14,280 The bottom line, it doesn't matter. That doesn't matter, 391 00:11:14,280 --> 00:11:14,520 The bottom line, it doesn't matter. That doesn't matter, 392 00:11:14,520 --> 00:11:16,560 because, erm, whatever happens, 393 00:11:16,560 --> 00:11:17,040 because, erm, whatever happens, 394 00:11:17,040 --> 00:11:19,080 I'll do what I want to do. 395 00:11:19,080 --> 00:11:19,520 I'll do what I want to do. 396 00:11:19,520 --> 00:11:21,560 And that's not me being a narcissist, 397 00:11:21,560 --> 00:11:21,800 And that's not me being a narcissist, 398 00:11:21,800 --> 00:11:23,840 or, you know... That's me, erm... 399 00:11:23,840 --> 00:11:24,160 or, you know... That's me, erm... 400 00:11:24,160 --> 00:11:25,680 Prioritising? 401 00:11:25,680 --> 00:11:27,720 And talking to... Yes, prioritising. 402 00:11:27,720 --> 00:11:28,040 And talking to... Yes, prioritising. 403 00:11:28,040 --> 00:11:30,080 I make no excuses for meeting somebody I really like 404 00:11:30,080 --> 00:11:31,440 I make no excuses for meeting somebody I really like 405 00:11:31,440 --> 00:11:33,360 and forming a relationship with them. 406 00:11:33,360 --> 00:11:35,400 For me, that had no bearing on co-parenting whatsoever. 407 00:11:35,400 --> 00:11:37,440 For me, that had no bearing on co-parenting whatsoever. 408 00:11:37,440 --> 00:11:37,760 For me, that had no bearing on co-parenting whatsoever. 409 00:11:37,760 --> 00:11:39,800 My only concern is, if she has doubts or worries, 410 00:11:39,800 --> 00:11:41,480 My only concern is, if she has doubts or worries, 411 00:11:41,480 --> 00:11:43,520 that it might change your mind, um, from a very selfish point of view, 412 00:11:43,520 --> 00:11:45,400 that it might change your mind, um, from a very selfish point of view, 413 00:11:45,400 --> 00:11:47,440 because, like, I wouldn't be here if I didn't want to be here. 414 00:11:47,440 --> 00:11:48,680 because, like, I wouldn't be here if I didn't want to be here. 415 00:11:48,680 --> 00:11:50,720 I just... That's a concern. 416 00:11:50,720 --> 00:11:51,360 I just... That's a concern. 417 00:11:51,360 --> 00:11:53,400 I just ask you to be mindful to just be, like...to tell me first... 418 00:11:53,400 --> 00:11:54,920 I just ask you to be mindful to just be, like...to tell me first... 419 00:11:54,920 --> 00:11:56,680 All I can... ..if anything changes. 420 00:11:56,680 --> 00:11:58,720 The only thing I can tell you is I'll be completely honest. 421 00:11:58,720 --> 00:11:59,160 The only thing I can tell you is I'll be completely honest. 422 00:12:10,080 --> 00:12:12,120 If you spill this on the carpet, I won't be happy, 423 00:12:12,120 --> 00:12:14,160 although there's been so much wine spilt on this carpet. 424 00:12:14,160 --> 00:12:14,840 although there's been so much wine spilt on this carpet. 425 00:12:14,840 --> 00:12:16,720 Putting their compatibility to the test, 426 00:12:16,720 --> 00:12:18,760 potential co-parents are spending the weekend together, 427 00:12:18,760 --> 00:12:19,840 potential co-parents are spending the weekend together, 428 00:12:19,840 --> 00:12:21,880 to thrash out the details of raising a child. 429 00:12:21,880 --> 00:12:22,480 to thrash out the details of raising a child. 430 00:12:24,360 --> 00:12:26,400 Negotiating the things that you might not agree on 431 00:12:26,400 --> 00:12:27,120 Negotiating the things that you might not agree on 432 00:12:27,120 --> 00:12:29,160 is going to be much easier if you have 433 00:12:29,160 --> 00:12:29,600 is going to be much easier if you have 434 00:12:29,600 --> 00:12:31,640 a greater understanding of the other co-parent. 435 00:12:31,640 --> 00:12:32,320 a greater understanding of the other co-parent. 436 00:12:32,320 --> 00:12:34,360 Empathy is key to this process. 437 00:12:34,360 --> 00:12:35,400 Empathy is key to this process. 438 00:12:35,400 --> 00:12:37,240 Shall we have a look at Marie's message? 439 00:12:37,240 --> 00:12:38,520 Yeah! Let's do it. 440 00:12:40,040 --> 00:12:41,400 Hi, Venicia and Nigel. 441 00:12:41,400 --> 00:12:42,800 Hi, Sarah and Ian. 442 00:12:42,800 --> 00:12:44,840 I'm really excited about the time that you have ahead of you. 443 00:12:44,840 --> 00:12:45,480 I'm really excited about the time that you have ahead of you. 444 00:12:45,480 --> 00:12:47,520 To get you started, I've provided you with a set of friendship cards, 445 00:12:47,520 --> 00:12:49,200 To get you started, I've provided you with a set of friendship cards, 446 00:12:49,200 --> 00:12:51,240 to help you open up and really start to listen to each other. 447 00:12:51,240 --> 00:12:52,880 to help you open up and really start to listen to each other. 448 00:12:52,880 --> 00:12:54,920 Tonight, it's all about friendship, so good luck. 449 00:12:54,920 --> 00:12:55,920 Tonight, it's all about friendship, so good luck. 450 00:12:55,920 --> 00:12:57,840 I'm going to need it. Yeah. 451 00:12:57,840 --> 00:12:59,880 This message... I love that. This message will self-destruct. Will self-destruct 452 00:12:59,880 --> 00:13:01,000 This message... I love that. This message will self-destruct. Will self-destruct 453 00:13:02,040 --> 00:13:03,640 This sounds interesting. I know. 454 00:13:03,640 --> 00:13:05,360 Let's do it, let's do it. Yeah, absolutely. 455 00:13:07,360 --> 00:13:09,400 Would you like to be famous and in what way? 456 00:13:09,400 --> 00:13:10,120 Would you like to be famous and in what way? 457 00:13:10,120 --> 00:13:12,160 I...I actually, I'd have to say yes. 458 00:13:12,160 --> 00:13:12,480 I...I actually, I'd have to say yes. 459 00:13:12,480 --> 00:13:14,520 I'd love to, er, take part in Eurovision. 460 00:13:14,520 --> 00:13:14,760 I'd love to, er, take part in Eurovision. 461 00:13:14,760 --> 00:13:16,800 Really?! Mm, yeah. 462 00:13:16,800 --> 00:13:17,040 Really?! Mm, yeah. 463 00:13:17,040 --> 00:13:19,040 When did you last sing to yourself? 464 00:13:19,040 --> 00:13:20,800 This morning I was singing 465 00:13:20,800 --> 00:13:22,840 Mika's Happy Ending as I was running down the canal. 466 00:13:22,840 --> 00:13:24,240 Mika's Happy Ending as I was running down the canal. 467 00:13:24,240 --> 00:13:26,280 I don't know the words to anything. 468 00:13:26,280 --> 00:13:26,520 I don't know the words to anything. 469 00:13:26,520 --> 00:13:27,440 Do you get the words wrong? 470 00:13:27,440 --> 00:13:29,480 I'm just singing the sound. 471 00:13:29,480 --> 00:13:29,720 I'm just singing the sound. 472 00:13:29,720 --> 00:13:31,680 Awkward. Yeah. 473 00:13:31,680 --> 00:13:33,720 Name three things the two of you have in common. 474 00:13:33,720 --> 00:13:35,320 Name three things the two of you have in common. 475 00:13:35,320 --> 00:13:37,360 We both want to have a child. Yep. 476 00:13:37,360 --> 00:13:37,760 We both want to have a child. Yep. 477 00:13:37,760 --> 00:13:39,800 We can find the, er, humour in life. 478 00:13:39,800 --> 00:13:40,680 We can find the, er, humour in life. 479 00:13:40,680 --> 00:13:42,720 Definitely our propensity to consume alcohol. 480 00:13:42,720 --> 00:13:43,920 Definitely our propensity to consume alcohol. 481 00:13:43,920 --> 00:13:45,960 We have that, really do have that... No, I'm joking. 482 00:13:45,960 --> 00:13:46,120 We have that, really do have that... No, I'm joking. 483 00:13:48,080 --> 00:13:50,120 OK. If you could change anything about the way you were raised, 484 00:13:50,120 --> 00:13:51,880 OK. If you could change anything about the way you were raised, 485 00:13:51,880 --> 00:13:53,360 what would it be? 486 00:13:53,360 --> 00:13:54,520 Ooh. 487 00:13:55,640 --> 00:13:57,680 I wish... 488 00:13:57,680 --> 00:13:59,720 ..that I would have been in a world 489 00:13:59,720 --> 00:14:01,440 where I could have come out 490 00:14:01,440 --> 00:14:03,480 and experienced being gay sooner. 491 00:14:03,480 --> 00:14:03,720 and experienced being gay sooner. 492 00:14:04,920 --> 00:14:06,960 It took until I was 34 to tell my mum. 493 00:14:06,960 --> 00:14:08,480 It took until I was 34 to tell my mum. 494 00:14:08,480 --> 00:14:09,880 Really? Yes. 495 00:14:09,880 --> 00:14:11,800 Far too long, far too long. 496 00:14:11,800 --> 00:14:13,840 I remember when I, when I told my mum that I was gay. 497 00:14:13,840 --> 00:14:14,720 I remember when I, when I told my mum that I was gay. 498 00:14:14,720 --> 00:14:16,760 She sat there and...and... 499 00:14:16,760 --> 00:14:16,920 She sat there and...and... 500 00:14:18,000 --> 00:14:20,040 ..she just said, "You know, you're still the same person, 501 00:14:20,040 --> 00:14:20,280 ..she just said, "You know, you're still the same person, 502 00:14:20,280 --> 00:14:21,600 I still love you," 503 00:14:21,600 --> 00:14:23,360 and for me, that was... 504 00:14:23,360 --> 00:14:25,400 ..that was validation, 505 00:14:25,400 --> 00:14:25,640 ..that was validation, 506 00:14:25,640 --> 00:14:26,920 that was... 507 00:14:26,920 --> 00:14:28,320 ..all I wanted really. 508 00:14:28,320 --> 00:14:30,360 And it was something that 509 00:14:30,360 --> 00:14:30,680 And it was something that 510 00:14:30,680 --> 00:14:32,720 I wish I had that conversation many, many years before. 511 00:14:32,720 --> 00:14:34,120 I wish I had that conversation many, many years before. 512 00:14:34,120 --> 00:14:36,160 I always had a great relationship with my mum until she died suddenly in 2014. 513 00:14:36,160 --> 00:14:38,200 I always had a great relationship with my mum until she died suddenly in 2014. 514 00:14:38,200 --> 00:14:38,680 I always had a great relationship with my mum until she died suddenly in 2014. 515 00:14:38,680 --> 00:14:40,720 I look quite like my mum, don't I? 516 00:14:40,720 --> 00:14:40,960 I look quite like my mum, don't I? 517 00:14:40,960 --> 00:14:42,280 Yeah! Absolutely. 518 00:14:42,280 --> 00:14:44,200 Yeah, everyone says I look like my mum. 519 00:14:44,200 --> 00:14:46,240 I do wish my mum was here to see me 520 00:14:46,240 --> 00:14:47,000 I do wish my mum was here to see me 521 00:14:47,000 --> 00:14:48,760 as part of this process. 522 00:14:48,760 --> 00:14:50,760 I think she'd like Sarah. 523 00:14:50,760 --> 00:14:52,800 I think Sarah would be the kind of person that my mum would be 524 00:14:52,800 --> 00:14:53,760 I think Sarah would be the kind of person that my mum would be 525 00:14:53,760 --> 00:14:55,800 proud for me to have a child with. 526 00:14:55,800 --> 00:14:56,160 proud for me to have a child with. 527 00:14:58,640 --> 00:15:00,680 Sorry, I still do find it a bit emotional, but it's OK. 528 00:15:00,680 --> 00:15:01,880 Sorry, I still do find it a bit emotional, but it's OK. 529 00:15:01,880 --> 00:15:03,920 HE CLEARS HIS THROAT 530 00:15:03,920 --> 00:15:04,240 HE CLEARS HIS THROAT 531 00:15:04,240 --> 00:15:06,280 That was fun. That was really good. 532 00:15:06,280 --> 00:15:08,160 Do you know what, even with my close mates, 533 00:15:08,160 --> 00:15:10,200 you never have these conversations, do you? No! 534 00:15:10,200 --> 00:15:10,480 you never have these conversations, do you? No! 535 00:15:13,640 --> 00:15:15,680 You look so different without your glasses on by the way. 536 00:15:15,680 --> 00:15:16,000 You look so different without your glasses on by the way. 537 00:15:16,000 --> 00:15:17,800 Without my glasses on? 538 00:15:19,160 --> 00:15:20,520 Your eyes are really little. 539 00:15:20,520 --> 00:15:21,800 Oh, thank you. 540 00:15:23,040 --> 00:15:24,840 Nice to say that I've got mole eyes. 541 00:15:24,840 --> 00:15:26,880 You look really Italian! Oh, moley eyes over there. 542 00:15:26,880 --> 00:15:27,200 You look really Italian! Oh, moley eyes over there. 543 00:15:27,200 --> 00:15:28,760 You look super Italian, are you Italian? 544 00:15:28,760 --> 00:15:30,000 No. 545 00:15:30,000 --> 00:15:31,520 SHE LAUGHS 546 00:15:31,520 --> 00:15:33,560 I'm going... I've literally got to go to bed now. 547 00:15:33,560 --> 00:15:34,000 I'm going... I've literally got to go to bed now. 548 00:15:34,000 --> 00:15:36,040 I know, I'm like dead on my feet as well. OK, thanks for a lovely evening. Yeah! You too! 549 00:15:36,040 --> 00:15:38,080 I know, I'm like dead on my feet as well. OK, thanks for a lovely evening. Yeah! You too! 550 00:15:38,080 --> 00:15:38,240 I know, I'm like dead on my feet as well. OK, thanks for a lovely evening. Yeah! You too! 551 00:15:41,000 --> 00:15:42,840 It's been good. It's been fun. 552 00:15:42,840 --> 00:15:44,880 We know each other a little bit better now, so we can... 553 00:15:44,880 --> 00:15:45,200 We know each other a little bit better now, so we can... 554 00:15:45,200 --> 00:15:47,240 I suppose we're not worrying about the airs and graces. 555 00:15:47,240 --> 00:15:47,480 I suppose we're not worrying about the airs and graces. 556 00:15:48,760 --> 00:15:50,800 The only thing that I would say is I think telling Venicia 557 00:15:50,800 --> 00:15:52,160 The only thing that I would say is I think telling Venicia 558 00:15:52,160 --> 00:15:54,200 about my relationship and explaining to her that it's going well, 559 00:15:54,200 --> 00:15:55,200 about my relationship and explaining to her that it's going well, 560 00:15:55,200 --> 00:15:57,240 um, I... 561 00:15:57,240 --> 00:15:58,160 um, I... 562 00:15:58,160 --> 00:15:59,280 I don't know. 563 00:15:59,280 --> 00:16:01,120 I...I...I...maybe I'm wrong, 564 00:16:01,120 --> 00:16:03,160 I'm kind of getting the feeling she's not massively happy about it. 565 00:16:03,160 --> 00:16:04,600 I'm kind of getting the feeling she's not massively happy about it. 566 00:16:04,600 --> 00:16:06,640 I do have my reserves, only because, you know, 567 00:16:06,640 --> 00:16:07,520 I do have my reserves, only because, you know, 568 00:16:07,520 --> 00:16:09,560 how would that affect his availability 569 00:16:09,560 --> 00:16:10,440 how would that affect his availability 570 00:16:10,440 --> 00:16:12,440 for when the child is here? 571 00:16:12,440 --> 00:16:14,480 What kind of co-co-parent will that person be? 572 00:16:14,480 --> 00:16:15,520 What kind of co-co-parent will that person be? 573 00:16:15,520 --> 00:16:17,560 Um, so there's a lot of conversations 574 00:16:17,560 --> 00:16:19,320 Um, so there's a lot of conversations 575 00:16:19,320 --> 00:16:21,360 that will need to be had before the baby's here and after. 576 00:16:21,360 --> 00:16:22,680 that will need to be had before the baby's here and after. 577 00:16:24,120 --> 00:16:26,160 It's important to me to still be a dad one day. 578 00:16:26,160 --> 00:16:26,680 It's important to me to still be a dad one day. 579 00:16:26,680 --> 00:16:28,640 All that it's changed in this process, 580 00:16:28,640 --> 00:16:30,680 is I've got another thing to think about that's maybe occupying my head space a little bitmore. 581 00:16:30,680 --> 00:16:32,560 is I've got another thing to think about that's maybe occupying my head space a little bitmore. 582 00:16:32,560 --> 00:16:34,600 Um, there's nothing I can do about that, 583 00:16:34,600 --> 00:16:35,000 Um, there's nothing I can do about that, 584 00:16:35,000 --> 00:16:37,040 it's not making any apologies for it, that's just how life is and that's what's happened. 585 00:16:37,040 --> 00:16:38,160 it's not making any apologies for it, that's just how life is and that's what's happened. 586 00:16:49,280 --> 00:16:51,000 What sort of time do you call this? 587 00:16:51,000 --> 00:16:52,880 Er...lunchtime? 588 00:16:54,160 --> 00:16:56,200 Last night, the couples learnt about each other. 589 00:16:56,200 --> 00:16:56,680 Last night, the couples learnt about each other. 590 00:16:56,680 --> 00:16:58,720 I was going to make porridge. I have porridge oats in my car. 591 00:16:58,720 --> 00:16:59,160 I was going to make porridge. I have porridge oats in my car. 592 00:16:59,160 --> 00:17:01,200 I bought porridge oats. You don't like porridge oats? No. 593 00:17:01,200 --> 00:17:01,440 I bought porridge oats. You don't like porridge oats? No. 594 00:17:02,480 --> 00:17:04,520 Sorry, that's a sackable offence. 595 00:17:04,520 --> 00:17:04,680 Sorry, that's a sackable offence. 596 00:17:05,560 --> 00:17:06,720 Breakfast... 597 00:17:08,000 --> 00:17:10,040 Today, their task is to discuss how they'd raise their child together. 598 00:17:10,040 --> 00:17:11,680 Today, their task is to discuss how they'd raise their child together. 599 00:17:15,640 --> 00:17:17,680 Morning! How are you? I'm all right. It smells incredible! 600 00:17:17,680 --> 00:17:18,440 Morning! How are you? I'm all right. It smells incredible! 601 00:17:18,440 --> 00:17:19,880 I don't know if it does, 602 00:17:19,880 --> 00:17:21,400 it's the "facon". 603 00:17:21,400 --> 00:17:23,440 The weekend is for us figure out 604 00:17:23,440 --> 00:17:23,800 The weekend is for us figure out 605 00:17:23,800 --> 00:17:25,840 if we've got the same values, 606 00:17:25,840 --> 00:17:26,320 if we've got the same values, 607 00:17:26,320 --> 00:17:28,280 and just make sure that 608 00:17:28,280 --> 00:17:29,640 if we do want to progress this, 609 00:17:29,640 --> 00:17:31,440 we've got similar views. 610 00:17:31,440 --> 00:17:32,720 What's it taste like? 611 00:17:32,720 --> 00:17:33,840 Smoke. 612 00:17:33,840 --> 00:17:35,200 Oh, it stinks 613 00:17:37,480 --> 00:17:39,000 With tough topics to discuss, 614 00:17:39,000 --> 00:17:41,040 Marie's on hand to get the ball rolling. 615 00:17:41,040 --> 00:17:41,520 Marie's on hand to get the ball rolling. 616 00:17:41,520 --> 00:17:43,560 Right, shall we see what Marie has to say... Yeah. ..today? 617 00:17:43,560 --> 00:17:45,040 Right, shall we see what Marie has to say... Yeah. ..today? 618 00:17:47,160 --> 00:17:49,200 Hello again, we all know that it's much easier to avoid 619 00:17:49,200 --> 00:17:50,520 Hello again, we all know that it's much easier to avoid 620 00:17:50,520 --> 00:17:52,560 talking about difficult subjects, 621 00:17:52,560 --> 00:17:52,800 talking about difficult subjects, 622 00:17:52,800 --> 00:17:54,320 rather than tackling them. 623 00:17:54,320 --> 00:17:56,360 But it's really important that there are some crucial discussions 624 00:17:56,360 --> 00:17:57,840 But it's really important that there are some crucial discussions 625 00:17:57,840 --> 00:17:59,200 that you have now. 626 00:17:59,200 --> 00:18:01,240 So, here are some important questions about the nitty gritty of co-parenting. 627 00:18:01,240 --> 00:18:03,280 So, here are some important questions about the nitty gritty of co-parenting. 628 00:18:03,280 --> 00:18:04,200 So, here are some important questions about the nitty gritty of co-parenting. 629 00:18:04,200 --> 00:18:06,240 Be honest with each other and good luck. 630 00:18:06,240 --> 00:18:06,480 Be honest with each other and good luck. 631 00:18:06,480 --> 00:18:08,200 Ah, OK. 632 00:18:08,200 --> 00:18:09,680 Yes. Are you ready for this? 633 00:18:09,680 --> 00:18:10,960 It's...it's time. 634 00:18:10,960 --> 00:18:13,000 So, how might costs be divided? 635 00:18:13,000 --> 00:18:13,720 So, how might costs be divided? 636 00:18:13,720 --> 00:18:15,760 My assumption is that this... the cost will be shared. 637 00:18:15,760 --> 00:18:16,520 My assumption is that this... the cost will be shared. 638 00:18:16,520 --> 00:18:17,880 Uh, yeah. I completely agree. 639 00:18:17,880 --> 00:18:19,920 That was completely my assumption, you know. 640 00:18:19,920 --> 00:18:20,240 That was completely my assumption, you know. 641 00:18:20,240 --> 00:18:22,280 It's a decision that we both go into and, yeah, 642 00:18:22,280 --> 00:18:22,640 It's a decision that we both go into and, yeah, 643 00:18:22,640 --> 00:18:24,680 any...any costs incurred I think are split. 644 00:18:24,680 --> 00:18:25,840 any...any costs incurred I think are split. 645 00:18:25,840 --> 00:18:27,880 How do you feel about blood transfusions 646 00:18:27,880 --> 00:18:28,200 How do you feel about blood transfusions 647 00:18:28,200 --> 00:18:29,880 or vaccinations? 648 00:18:29,880 --> 00:18:31,920 I have no problem with blood transfusions, and I believe in vaccinations. 649 00:18:31,920 --> 00:18:33,000 I have no problem with blood transfusions, and I believe in vaccinations. 650 00:18:33,000 --> 00:18:34,280 Agreed. 651 00:18:34,280 --> 00:18:36,320 How would conception be achieved? 652 00:18:36,320 --> 00:18:37,360 How would conception be achieved? 653 00:18:38,920 --> 00:18:40,960 I'm not overly fussed either way. 654 00:18:40,960 --> 00:18:42,200 I'm not overly fussed either way. 655 00:18:42,200 --> 00:18:43,880 I've been thoroughly checked out, 656 00:18:43,880 --> 00:18:45,600 you've been thoroughly checked out, 657 00:18:45,600 --> 00:18:47,640 in which case you know, if it's... 658 00:18:47,640 --> 00:18:48,400 in which case you know, if it's... 659 00:18:49,520 --> 00:18:50,840 ..turkey baster at home 660 00:18:50,840 --> 00:18:52,880 then you know what, so be it, you know, like... 661 00:18:52,880 --> 00:18:53,640 then you know what, so be it, you know, like... 662 00:18:53,640 --> 00:18:55,400 ..if that's the way. 663 00:18:55,400 --> 00:18:57,360 It's not a romantic connection. 664 00:18:57,360 --> 00:18:59,400 That's not a decision for me, 665 00:18:59,400 --> 00:18:59,720 That's not a decision for me, 666 00:18:59,720 --> 00:19:01,760 so I... You know, it would be entirely your decision. 667 00:19:01,760 --> 00:19:02,440 so I... You know, it would be entirely your decision. 668 00:19:02,440 --> 00:19:04,480 Excellent. Shall we move on? Yes, what's next? 669 00:19:04,480 --> 00:19:05,040 Excellent. Shall we move on? Yes, what's next? 670 00:19:05,040 --> 00:19:07,080 OK, religion. 671 00:19:07,080 --> 00:19:07,440 OK, religion. 672 00:19:07,440 --> 00:19:09,480 Do you want your child to follow a particular religion, 673 00:19:09,480 --> 00:19:10,400 Do you want your child to follow a particular religion, 674 00:19:10,400 --> 00:19:12,440 and if so, how significant, do you see it being? 675 00:19:12,440 --> 00:19:13,400 and if so, how significant, do you see it being? 676 00:19:13,400 --> 00:19:15,440 As you know, I have a religious belief. 677 00:19:15,440 --> 00:19:17,000 As you know, I have a religious belief. 678 00:19:18,680 --> 00:19:20,720 I'm Church of England. 679 00:19:20,720 --> 00:19:21,040 I'm Church of England. 680 00:19:21,040 --> 00:19:23,080 My grandad was a warden of the local church, 681 00:19:23,080 --> 00:19:25,120 My grandad was a warden of the local church, 682 00:19:25,120 --> 00:19:25,520 My grandad was a warden of the local church, 683 00:19:25,520 --> 00:19:27,560 and, er, my parents used to take us every Sunday. 684 00:19:27,560 --> 00:19:29,000 and, er, my parents used to take us every Sunday. 685 00:19:29,000 --> 00:19:31,040 I would like a child to be raised 686 00:19:31,040 --> 00:19:33,080 I would like a child to be raised 687 00:19:33,080 --> 00:19:35,040 to appreciate the religion 688 00:19:35,040 --> 00:19:37,040 and to go to church. 689 00:19:37,040 --> 00:19:39,080 I would like them to attend and Christmas I would, you know... 690 00:19:39,080 --> 00:19:39,880 I would like them to attend and Christmas I would, you know... 691 00:19:39,880 --> 00:19:41,920 I love a Christingle service, they're brilliant. 692 00:19:41,920 --> 00:19:43,080 I love a Christingle service, they're brilliant. 693 00:19:43,080 --> 00:19:45,120 Having only met up with gay guys, 694 00:19:45,120 --> 00:19:47,160 Having only met up with gay guys, 695 00:19:47,160 --> 00:19:47,600 Having only met up with gay guys, 696 00:19:47,600 --> 00:19:49,640 my faith was something that I was a little bit concerned about mentioning. 697 00:19:49,640 --> 00:19:51,680 my faith was something that I was a little bit concerned about mentioning. 698 00:19:51,680 --> 00:19:52,000 my faith was something that I was a little bit concerned about mentioning. 699 00:19:52,000 --> 00:19:54,040 I probably have been guilty of describing myself 700 00:19:54,040 --> 00:19:55,840 I probably have been guilty of describing myself 701 00:19:55,840 --> 00:19:57,880 as anti-religious in a way. 702 00:19:57,880 --> 00:19:58,440 as anti-religious in a way. 703 00:19:58,440 --> 00:20:00,480 Some of it's to do with the way that the church, for example, 704 00:20:00,480 --> 00:20:02,160 Some of it's to do with the way that the church, for example, 705 00:20:02,160 --> 00:20:04,280 has treated LGBT people... Yes. 706 00:20:04,280 --> 00:20:06,320 Um, and that's...that's weighed heavy on my mind for a long time. 707 00:20:06,320 --> 00:20:07,960 Um, and that's...that's weighed heavy on my mind for a long time. 708 00:20:07,960 --> 00:20:10,000 I completely agree with you... 709 00:20:10,000 --> 00:20:10,640 I completely agree with you... 710 00:20:10,640 --> 00:20:12,680 in terms of... 711 00:20:12,680 --> 00:20:12,920 in terms of... 712 00:20:12,920 --> 00:20:14,960 ..the behaviour of the church 713 00:20:14,960 --> 00:20:16,240 ..the behaviour of the church 714 00:20:16,240 --> 00:20:18,280 and keeping up with LGBT communities 715 00:20:18,280 --> 00:20:20,280 and keeping up with LGBT communities 716 00:20:20,280 --> 00:20:22,320 and things like that, and I know in some cases... 717 00:20:22,320 --> 00:20:23,080 and things like that, and I know in some cases... 718 00:20:23,080 --> 00:20:25,120 ..they are more open to it. 719 00:20:25,120 --> 00:20:25,960 ..they are more open to it. 720 00:20:25,960 --> 00:20:28,000 So, for example my local church, 721 00:20:28,000 --> 00:20:28,320 So, for example my local church, 722 00:20:28,320 --> 00:20:30,360 there's been a lot of history and a lot of awful things 723 00:20:30,360 --> 00:20:31,200 there's been a lot of history and a lot of awful things 724 00:20:31,200 --> 00:20:33,240 that make people feel that they are not invited and not included 725 00:20:33,240 --> 00:20:34,760 that make people feel that they are not invited and not included 726 00:20:34,760 --> 00:20:36,760 and that's...that's sad. 727 00:20:36,760 --> 00:20:38,800 At my church, we believe everybody 728 00:20:38,800 --> 00:20:40,240 At my church, we believe everybody 729 00:20:40,240 --> 00:20:42,280 should all be loved equally, for who they are. 730 00:20:42,280 --> 00:20:44,320 should all be loved equally, for who they are. 731 00:20:44,320 --> 00:20:44,640 should all be loved equally, for who they are. 732 00:20:44,640 --> 00:20:46,680 For me, faith is about just being a good person. 733 00:20:46,680 --> 00:20:48,720 For me, faith is about just being a good person. 734 00:20:48,720 --> 00:20:50,520 For me, faith is about just being a good person. 735 00:20:50,520 --> 00:20:52,560 Yeah, I...I totally understand the...the difference 736 00:20:52,560 --> 00:20:53,640 Yeah, I...I totally understand the...the difference 737 00:20:53,640 --> 00:20:55,680 and I totally understand how faith in people's life 738 00:20:55,680 --> 00:20:56,400 and I totally understand how faith in people's life 739 00:20:56,400 --> 00:20:58,440 can enhance life, you know, through whatever religion. 740 00:20:58,440 --> 00:20:59,200 can enhance life, you know, through whatever religion. 741 00:20:59,200 --> 00:21:01,240 Yeah. So, yeah, I do get that. Yeah. 742 00:21:01,240 --> 00:21:02,840 Yeah. So, yeah, I do get that. Yeah. 743 00:21:02,840 --> 00:21:04,760 Let's clear up. Let's do it. 744 00:21:06,480 --> 00:21:08,520 It's really scary to start thinking about 745 00:21:08,520 --> 00:21:08,840 It's really scary to start thinking about 746 00:21:08,840 --> 00:21:10,320 some of the answers to those questions. 747 00:21:10,320 --> 00:21:12,360 Without a doubt the distance is the biggest problem I think that we will have. 748 00:21:12,360 --> 00:21:14,040 Without a doubt the distance is the biggest problem I think that we will have. 749 00:21:14,040 --> 00:21:16,080 If we got to a position where I was seeing the baby 750 00:21:16,080 --> 00:21:17,720 If we got to a position where I was seeing the baby 751 00:21:17,720 --> 00:21:19,440 once, twice a month, 752 00:21:19,440 --> 00:21:21,400 if that was the proposition, 753 00:21:21,400 --> 00:21:22,760 I'd struggle with that. 754 00:21:25,600 --> 00:21:27,640 There is, I think, an element of sacrifice 755 00:21:27,640 --> 00:21:29,160 There is, I think, an element of sacrifice 756 00:21:29,160 --> 00:21:31,200 in co-parenting. 757 00:21:31,200 --> 00:21:32,080 in co-parenting. 758 00:21:32,080 --> 00:21:34,120 Missing out on first words and first steps and things like that, 759 00:21:34,120 --> 00:21:35,600 Missing out on first words and first steps and things like that, 760 00:21:35,600 --> 00:21:37,640 there's...there's an ever-present danger of that 761 00:21:37,640 --> 00:21:38,200 there's...there's an ever-present danger of that 762 00:21:38,200 --> 00:21:40,240 and that is heart-breaking in itself. 763 00:21:40,240 --> 00:21:41,080 and that is heart-breaking in itself. 764 00:21:42,120 --> 00:21:43,800 But for me... 765 00:21:45,040 --> 00:21:47,080 ..the possibility of not having a child, 766 00:21:47,080 --> 00:21:48,280 ..the possibility of not having a child, 767 00:21:48,280 --> 00:21:50,320 is worse than having a child 768 00:21:50,320 --> 00:21:51,120 is worse than having a child 769 00:21:51,120 --> 00:21:53,160 and missing out on a few life stages. 770 00:21:53,160 --> 00:21:54,400 and missing out on a few life stages. 771 00:21:57,560 --> 00:21:59,600 Just talking about 772 00:21:59,600 --> 00:21:59,920 Just talking about 773 00:21:59,920 --> 00:22:01,960 the possibility of not having a child... 774 00:22:01,960 --> 00:22:02,480 the possibility of not having a child... 775 00:22:03,880 --> 00:22:05,920 ..that upsets me quite a bit. 776 00:22:05,920 --> 00:22:06,080 ..that upsets me quite a bit. 777 00:22:12,600 --> 00:22:14,640 I can't...I can't spend my life... 778 00:22:14,640 --> 00:22:15,680 I can't...I can't spend my life... 779 00:22:17,320 --> 00:22:19,360 ..knowing that I've never tried to have a child. 780 00:22:19,360 --> 00:22:20,120 ..knowing that I've never tried to have a child. 781 00:22:21,560 --> 00:22:23,600 It's...it's too much. 782 00:22:23,600 --> 00:22:23,760 It's...it's too much. 783 00:22:33,160 --> 00:22:35,280 Down, down, up, up, left, left, left, right. 784 00:22:35,280 --> 00:22:37,320 I'm going to need to, I'm going to need to, like, think of some codes, guys. 785 00:22:37,320 --> 00:22:38,240 I'm going to need to, I'm going to need to, like, think of some codes, guys. 786 00:22:38,240 --> 00:22:39,640 Oh! 787 00:22:39,640 --> 00:22:41,440 Johnny Cage wins. 788 00:22:41,440 --> 00:22:43,040 Ah! 789 00:22:51,600 --> 00:22:52,960 What are you reading? 790 00:22:52,960 --> 00:22:55,000 I am reading a book about fertility. 791 00:22:55,000 --> 00:22:55,240 I am reading a book about fertility. 792 00:22:55,240 --> 00:22:56,720 Oh. 793 00:22:56,720 --> 00:22:58,760 It's really, really interesting. It's really, um, informative actually. 794 00:22:58,760 --> 00:23:00,440 It's really, really interesting. It's really, um, informative actually. 795 00:23:00,440 --> 00:23:02,480 Not a good read, I guess, but an easy read. 796 00:23:02,480 --> 00:23:03,560 Not a good read, I guess, but an easy read. 797 00:23:03,560 --> 00:23:05,560 But you can tell me about your experience, 798 00:23:05,560 --> 00:23:06,120 But you can tell me about your experience, 799 00:23:06,120 --> 00:23:08,160 not, I guess, in too much detail, it's up to you. 800 00:23:08,160 --> 00:23:08,480 not, I guess, in too much detail, it's up to you. 801 00:23:08,480 --> 00:23:10,520 I can tell you as much detail as you want. 802 00:23:10,520 --> 00:23:10,840 I can tell you as much detail as you want. 803 00:23:10,840 --> 00:23:12,880 My ex and I tried to have a baby naturally, 804 00:23:12,880 --> 00:23:13,200 My ex and I tried to have a baby naturally, 805 00:23:13,200 --> 00:23:15,240 without having any tests done, or anything like that. OK. 806 00:23:15,240 --> 00:23:15,560 without having any tests done, or anything like that. OK. 807 00:23:15,560 --> 00:23:17,600 Definitely, um, like improved my health 808 00:23:17,600 --> 00:23:19,320 Definitely, um, like improved my health 809 00:23:19,320 --> 00:23:21,360 and stopped smoking and did all of that. 810 00:23:21,360 --> 00:23:21,680 and stopped smoking and did all of that. 811 00:23:21,680 --> 00:23:23,720 And, you know, it was going pretty well. 812 00:23:23,720 --> 00:23:24,040 And, you know, it was going pretty well. 813 00:23:24,040 --> 00:23:25,640 I think at the time, though, I was quite stressed 814 00:23:25,640 --> 00:23:27,280 because I was still working, 815 00:23:27,280 --> 00:23:29,320 and I don't think I was in the best place, probably. 816 00:23:29,320 --> 00:23:29,880 and I don't think I was in the best place, probably. 817 00:23:29,880 --> 00:23:31,920 I think I had three different tests and basically 818 00:23:31,920 --> 00:23:32,280 I think I had three different tests and basically 819 00:23:32,280 --> 00:23:34,320 I was told, um, that there's...there's no problem, 820 00:23:34,320 --> 00:23:35,240 I was told, um, that there's...there's no problem, 821 00:23:35,240 --> 00:23:37,360 you just need, you know, 822 00:23:37,360 --> 00:23:39,400 you can do these things to improve your fertility. 823 00:23:39,400 --> 00:23:39,840 you can do these things to improve your fertility. 824 00:23:39,840 --> 00:23:41,880 When I did a fertility test, 825 00:23:41,880 --> 00:23:42,760 When I did a fertility test, 826 00:23:42,760 --> 00:23:44,440 they said my... 827 00:23:45,800 --> 00:23:47,840 ..my eggs were of good quality because I'm young, 828 00:23:47,840 --> 00:23:48,280 ..my eggs were of good quality because I'm young, 829 00:23:48,280 --> 00:23:50,320 but there's just not as many as they were 830 00:23:50,320 --> 00:23:50,560 but there's just not as many as they were 831 00:23:50,560 --> 00:23:52,680 when I was, like, 20 or 25. 832 00:23:52,680 --> 00:23:54,720 So, what will you have to give up in order to 833 00:23:54,720 --> 00:23:55,040 So, what will you have to give up in order to 834 00:23:55,040 --> 00:23:56,640 improve your chances of getting pregnant? 835 00:23:56,640 --> 00:23:58,680 Carbs, sugar, alcohol... 836 00:23:58,680 --> 00:24:00,280 Carbs, sugar, alcohol... 837 00:24:00,280 --> 00:24:02,320 You wouldn't have one glass of wine? No. 838 00:24:02,320 --> 00:24:02,720 You wouldn't have one glass of wine? No. 839 00:24:02,720 --> 00:24:04,760 Do you believe that that one glass of wine would affect your chances? Yes. OK. 840 00:24:04,760 --> 00:24:06,480 Do you believe that that one glass of wine would affect your chances? Yes. OK. 841 00:24:06,480 --> 00:24:08,520 I don't know how many months in advance that guys have to do that, 842 00:24:08,520 --> 00:24:09,840 I don't know how many months in advance that guys have to do that, 843 00:24:09,840 --> 00:24:11,840 but women have to do it for about three months. 844 00:24:11,840 --> 00:24:13,880 So, for me, it feels like a short-term sacrifice... 845 00:24:13,880 --> 00:24:15,240 So, for me, it feels like a short-term sacrifice... 846 00:24:15,240 --> 00:24:17,280 Aha. ..on the male part, for... 847 00:24:17,280 --> 00:24:18,480 Aha. ..on the male part, for... 848 00:24:18,480 --> 00:24:20,520 ..you know, the means that we both want. 849 00:24:20,520 --> 00:24:20,960 ..you know, the means that we both want. 850 00:24:20,960 --> 00:24:23,000 Um, you know, I'm not 100% sure that I feel the same way as you do. 851 00:24:23,000 --> 00:24:25,040 Um, you know, I'm not 100% sure that I feel the same way as you do. 852 00:24:25,040 --> 00:24:26,040 Um, you know, I'm not 100% sure that I feel the same way as you do. 853 00:24:26,040 --> 00:24:28,080 Personally, I don't think I could live happily knowing I wasn't allowed that. For three months? 854 00:24:28,080 --> 00:24:30,120 Personally, I don't think I could live happily knowing I wasn't allowed that. For three months? 855 00:24:30,120 --> 00:24:30,280 Personally, I don't think I could live happily knowing I wasn't allowed that. For three months? 856 00:24:31,440 --> 00:24:33,480 One glass every six months is one thing, 857 00:24:33,480 --> 00:24:33,880 One glass every six months is one thing, 858 00:24:33,880 --> 00:24:35,920 but if you're having more than that, like, do you not think that will have a detrimental 859 00:24:35,920 --> 00:24:37,240 but if you're having more than that, like, do you not think that will have a detrimental 860 00:24:37,240 --> 00:24:39,160 effect on your fertility? 861 00:24:39,160 --> 00:24:40,360 Yes. 862 00:24:40,360 --> 00:24:42,400 Yes, that's true. That is true. 863 00:24:42,400 --> 00:24:42,720 Yes, that's true. That is true. 864 00:24:42,720 --> 00:24:44,760 But you are talking about, you know, needles in haystacks, 865 00:24:44,760 --> 00:24:45,560 But you are talking about, you know, needles in haystacks, 866 00:24:45,560 --> 00:24:47,600 you're talking about drops in oceans. 867 00:24:47,600 --> 00:24:48,080 you're talking about drops in oceans. 868 00:24:48,080 --> 00:24:50,120 Dude, you only have to change enough to have your contribution. 869 00:24:50,120 --> 00:24:51,280 Dude, you only have to change enough to have your contribution. 870 00:24:51,280 --> 00:24:53,320 Like, you literally keep yourself healthy, 871 00:24:53,320 --> 00:24:54,080 Like, you literally keep yourself healthy, 872 00:24:54,080 --> 00:24:55,800 get your numbers up, do your tests. 873 00:24:55,800 --> 00:24:57,840 If a doctor said to me, you know, "You need... This is how... 874 00:24:57,840 --> 00:24:58,680 If a doctor said to me, you know, "You need... This is how... 875 00:24:58,680 --> 00:25:00,720 ..exactly what you need to do to improve everything," I would do it. 876 00:25:00,720 --> 00:25:01,360 ..exactly what you need to do to improve everything," I would do it. 877 00:25:01,360 --> 00:25:02,840 It goes without saying. 878 00:25:02,840 --> 00:25:04,880 You don't need to tell me what I need to do to improve the quality of my sperm and my life. 879 00:25:04,880 --> 00:25:06,680 You don't need to tell me what I need to do to improve the quality of my sperm and my life. 880 00:25:07,920 --> 00:25:09,040 Because I've done it before. 881 00:25:18,645 --> 00:25:20,685 So, I'm really into like my spices and herbs... 882 00:25:20,685 --> 00:25:21,165 So, I'm really into like my spices and herbs... 883 00:25:21,165 --> 00:25:22,405 Mmhmm. 884 00:25:22,405 --> 00:25:23,645 On their weekend away, 885 00:25:23,645 --> 00:25:25,685 Nigel and Venicia are debating their preferred path to pregnancy. 886 00:25:25,685 --> 00:25:27,645 Nigel and Venicia are debating their preferred path to pregnancy. 887 00:25:27,645 --> 00:25:29,685 You know, you'll get people who will say, 'oh, you mustn't do this...' 888 00:25:29,685 --> 00:25:30,605 You know, you'll get people who will say, 'oh, you mustn't do this...' 889 00:25:30,605 --> 00:25:32,645 Trying to get pregnant presents the same challenges for co-parents 890 00:25:32,645 --> 00:25:34,645 Trying to get pregnant presents the same challenges for co-parents 891 00:25:34,645 --> 00:25:36,685 as it does for anyone else in a romantic relationship. 892 00:25:36,685 --> 00:25:37,765 as it does for anyone else in a romantic relationship. 893 00:25:37,765 --> 00:25:39,805 Fertility treatment is incredibly tough. 894 00:25:39,805 --> 00:25:41,845 Fertility treatment is incredibly tough. 895 00:25:41,845 --> 00:25:42,085 Fertility treatment is incredibly tough. 896 00:25:42,085 --> 00:25:44,125 Often long, expensive 897 00:25:44,125 --> 00:25:44,485 Often long, expensive 898 00:25:44,485 --> 00:25:46,525 and with no guarantee of a baby at the end of it. 899 00:25:46,525 --> 00:25:46,925 and with no guarantee of a baby at the end of it. 900 00:25:46,925 --> 00:25:48,965 And for many women, sadly, time is not on their side. 901 00:25:48,965 --> 00:25:50,685 And for many women, sadly, time is not on their side. 902 00:25:50,685 --> 00:25:52,725 What is your one year, three year, five year 903 00:25:52,725 --> 00:25:53,365 What is your one year, three year, five year 904 00:25:53,365 --> 00:25:55,405 kind of... in terms of plans and what - how do you feel about, you 905 00:25:55,405 --> 00:25:56,605 kind of... in terms of plans and what - how do you feel about, you 906 00:25:56,605 --> 00:25:58,645 know... You mean, what's my timeline to having a child? 907 00:25:58,645 --> 00:25:58,885 know... You mean, what's my timeline to having a child? 908 00:25:58,885 --> 00:26:00,365 Yeah. Yes, and yeah. 909 00:26:03,205 --> 00:26:04,565 I just don't have one. 910 00:26:04,565 --> 00:26:05,725 Erm... 911 00:26:05,725 --> 00:26:07,765 What you want to know is the endgame, 912 00:26:07,765 --> 00:26:08,165 What you want to know is the endgame, 913 00:26:08,165 --> 00:26:10,205 and the reality of the situation... Yeah, is there... 914 00:26:10,205 --> 00:26:10,885 and the reality of the situation... Yeah, is there... 915 00:26:10,885 --> 00:26:12,925 Are you hoping to conceive a child within the next year? 916 00:26:12,925 --> 00:26:14,325 Are you hoping to conceive a child within the next year? 917 00:26:14,325 --> 00:26:15,605 Two years? Three years? 918 00:26:15,605 --> 00:26:17,645 Because that's... that's, you know, a deal breaker for me. 919 00:26:17,645 --> 00:26:18,045 Because that's... that's, you know, a deal breaker for me. 920 00:26:18,045 --> 00:26:19,965 This is way too early, for... to... In what? 921 00:26:19,965 --> 00:26:22,005 If you're telling me you have a timeline and you need to - 922 00:26:22,005 --> 00:26:22,325 If you're telling me you have a timeline and you need to - 923 00:26:22,325 --> 00:26:24,365 then tell me what your timelines is? When do you need to have a baby by? 924 00:26:24,365 --> 00:26:25,005 then tell me what your timelines is? When do you need to have a baby by? 925 00:26:25,005 --> 00:26:27,045 I don't know how long these things are going to take. 926 00:26:27,045 --> 00:26:27,365 I don't know how long these things are going to take. 927 00:26:27,365 --> 00:26:29,405 If you're happy for it to be sooner rather than later, then that's fine. 928 00:26:29,405 --> 00:26:30,925 If you're happy for it to be sooner rather than later, then that's fine. 929 00:26:30,925 --> 00:26:32,965 But if you're just like, oh, you know, we'll just go for a couple 930 00:26:32,965 --> 00:26:34,045 But if you're just like, oh, you know, we'll just go for a couple 931 00:26:34,045 --> 00:26:36,085 of family holidays each year and then then we'll decide, like, no. 932 00:26:36,085 --> 00:26:37,645 of family holidays each year and then then we'll decide, like, no. 933 00:26:37,645 --> 00:26:39,605 I can tell you, you know, that's not where I am at. 934 00:26:39,605 --> 00:26:41,645 If I knew you were the 100% right person to be 935 00:26:41,645 --> 00:26:42,165 If I knew you were the 100% right person to be 936 00:26:42,165 --> 00:26:44,205 the mother of my child for the rest of its life, we could do it tonight. 937 00:26:44,205 --> 00:26:46,245 the mother of my child for the rest of its life, we could do it tonight. 938 00:26:46,245 --> 00:26:46,685 the mother of my child for the rest of its life, we could do it tonight. 939 00:26:46,685 --> 00:26:48,165 Do you think you know me? 940 00:26:48,165 --> 00:26:49,765 Do you think you... 941 00:26:49,765 --> 00:26:51,805 do you think I'd be the perfect dad to your child? 942 00:26:51,805 --> 00:26:52,125 do you think I'd be the perfect dad to your child? 943 00:26:52,125 --> 00:26:53,885 Are you ready to have a child with me right now? 944 00:26:53,885 --> 00:26:55,925 I don't doubt you will be a good dad, and your intentions... Mmhmm. 945 00:26:55,925 --> 00:26:57,325 I don't doubt you will be a good dad, and your intentions... Mmhmm. 946 00:26:57,325 --> 00:26:59,365 ..but at the end of the day, we're co-parenting. 947 00:26:59,365 --> 00:26:59,605 ..but at the end of the day, we're co-parenting. 948 00:26:59,605 --> 00:27:01,445 You want to have a child, you can 949 00:27:01,445 --> 00:27:03,485 offer a good life for your child, what else do I need to know? 950 00:27:03,485 --> 00:27:04,325 offer a good life for your child, what else do I need to know? 951 00:27:04,325 --> 00:27:05,845 I don't need to know about your like, 952 00:27:05,845 --> 00:27:07,885 how many people you've slept with, like I don't care about that. 953 00:27:07,885 --> 00:27:08,445 how many people you've slept with, like I don't care about that. 954 00:27:08,445 --> 00:27:10,485 Well, if my child is going to be with you 50% of its life... Yeah. 955 00:27:10,485 --> 00:27:12,245 Well, if my child is going to be with you 50% of its life... Yeah. 956 00:27:12,245 --> 00:27:14,285 ..I need to know everything. 957 00:27:14,285 --> 00:27:14,525 ..I need to know everything. 958 00:27:14,525 --> 00:27:15,685 I need to know everything. 959 00:27:15,685 --> 00:27:17,005 That's how I feel. 960 00:27:17,005 --> 00:27:18,645 But I don't feel like that. 961 00:27:18,645 --> 00:27:20,685 I don't feel like I don't know you. 962 00:27:20,685 --> 00:27:21,605 I don't feel like I don't know you. 963 00:27:21,605 --> 00:27:23,645 I'm just like, actually, I value the conversations we've had. 964 00:27:23,645 --> 00:27:25,085 I'm just like, actually, I value the conversations we've had. 965 00:27:25,085 --> 00:27:27,125 I don't... I'm just gonna keep repeating myself, 966 00:27:27,125 --> 00:27:27,365 I don't... I'm just gonna keep repeating myself, 967 00:27:27,365 --> 00:27:29,165 it's kind of frustrating. 968 00:27:29,165 --> 00:27:31,205 You feel like you've made your decision, 969 00:27:31,205 --> 00:27:31,765 You feel like you've made your decision, 970 00:27:31,765 --> 00:27:33,805 or you feel like you're... you're ready, and you feel like you 971 00:27:33,805 --> 00:27:34,445 or you feel like you're... you're ready, and you feel like you 972 00:27:34,445 --> 00:27:36,485 know enough about me that you're ready to move forward... No. 973 00:27:36,485 --> 00:27:36,925 know enough about me that you're ready to move forward... No. 974 00:27:36,925 --> 00:27:38,965 All right, you're nearer to that than I am? Yes. Right. 975 00:27:38,965 --> 00:27:39,285 All right, you're nearer to that than I am? Yes. Right. 976 00:27:39,285 --> 00:27:41,325 I'm nowhere near. That's the facts. But nowhere near to what? 977 00:27:41,325 --> 00:27:41,685 I'm nowhere near. That's the facts. But nowhere near to what? 978 00:27:41,685 --> 00:27:43,725 Like, what's the benchmark, so, so you're nowhere near to where I am? 979 00:27:43,725 --> 00:27:44,485 Like, what's the benchmark, so, so you're nowhere near to where I am? 980 00:27:44,485 --> 00:27:46,525 Knowing if you're the one, if you're the one. Yeah. 981 00:27:46,525 --> 00:27:46,845 Knowing if you're the one, if you're the one. Yeah. 982 00:27:46,845 --> 00:27:48,885 If you think that that's enough to make the decision or to be 983 00:27:48,885 --> 00:27:49,325 If you think that that's enough to make the decision or to be 984 00:27:49,325 --> 00:27:50,965 sure about making the decision, we are 985 00:27:50,965 --> 00:27:52,845 completely on different tracks, I'm afraid. 986 00:27:54,805 --> 00:27:56,165 Does that make sense? 987 00:27:56,165 --> 00:27:58,125 I understand how you are explaining it, 988 00:27:58,125 --> 00:28:00,165 but I don't necessarily agree with you. OK. 989 00:28:00,165 --> 00:28:00,325 but I don't necessarily agree with you. OK. 990 00:28:06,085 --> 00:28:08,125 What I thought, or where I thought he was at, he's not. 991 00:28:08,125 --> 00:28:09,565 What I thought, or where I thought he was at, he's not. 992 00:28:09,565 --> 00:28:10,965 He's not there. 993 00:28:10,965 --> 00:28:12,805 So, it just kind of makes me question... 994 00:28:14,085 --> 00:28:16,125 ..everything like we were talking about before. 995 00:28:16,125 --> 00:28:17,405 ..everything like we were talking about before. 996 00:28:17,405 --> 00:28:19,445 I feel like it's a bit of a change of heart. 997 00:28:19,445 --> 00:28:20,045 I feel like it's a bit of a change of heart. 998 00:28:20,045 --> 00:28:22,085 And, yeah, and a bit of backtracking on his part, which it 999 00:28:22,085 --> 00:28:23,885 And, yeah, and a bit of backtracking on his part, which it 1000 00:28:23,885 --> 00:28:25,925 has to stem... stem from somewhere. 1001 00:28:25,925 --> 00:28:26,245 has to stem... stem from somewhere. 1002 00:28:26,245 --> 00:28:28,285 But I don't know whether it's because now he's in a relationship. 1003 00:28:28,285 --> 00:28:29,525 But I don't know whether it's because now he's in a relationship. 1004 00:28:29,525 --> 00:28:31,565 So now he's just like, ah, you know, 1005 00:28:31,565 --> 00:28:31,885 So now he's just like, ah, you know, 1006 00:28:31,885 --> 00:28:33,485 he's got all the time in the world... 1007 00:28:33,485 --> 00:28:34,445 I don't know. 1008 00:28:36,365 --> 00:28:38,405 The way I'm feeling right now I am questioning myself. 1009 00:28:38,405 --> 00:28:38,645 The way I'm feeling right now I am questioning myself. 1010 00:28:38,645 --> 00:28:39,765 I'm questioning whether 1011 00:28:39,765 --> 00:28:41,445 I've done something wrong, 1012 00:28:41,445 --> 00:28:43,485 whether I'm... I've not understood the process. 1013 00:28:43,485 --> 00:28:43,925 whether I'm... I've not understood the process. 1014 00:28:43,925 --> 00:28:45,965 She feels like she does know me, she feels like she's ready to move on. 1015 00:28:45,965 --> 00:28:47,765 She feels like she does know me, she feels like she's ready to move on. 1016 00:28:47,765 --> 00:28:49,805 I don't feel anywhere near to be blatantly honest. 1017 00:28:49,805 --> 00:28:51,685 I don't feel anywhere near to be blatantly honest. 1018 00:28:53,885 --> 00:28:55,925 I'm uncomfortable with being asked to produce a timeline of 1019 00:28:55,925 --> 00:28:57,845 I'm uncomfortable with being asked to produce a timeline of 1020 00:28:57,845 --> 00:28:59,885 when I want to do this and when I want to do that. 1021 00:28:59,885 --> 00:29:00,805 when I want to do this and when I want to do that. 1022 00:29:02,445 --> 00:29:04,485 I don't want to end it, but I don't... I'm not gonna... 1023 00:29:04,485 --> 00:29:06,085 I don't want to end it, but I don't... I'm not gonna... 1024 00:29:06,085 --> 00:29:08,125 I'm not gonna change my mind on what I've said. 1025 00:29:08,125 --> 00:29:08,285 I'm not gonna change my mind on what I've said. 1026 00:29:10,925 --> 00:29:12,965 Conflict is a part of everyday life, 1027 00:29:12,965 --> 00:29:13,285 Conflict is a part of everyday life, 1028 00:29:13,285 --> 00:29:15,325 but raising a happy child successfully is all about how 1029 00:29:15,325 --> 00:29:16,885 but raising a happy child successfully is all about how 1030 00:29:16,885 --> 00:29:18,925 you can resolve those conflicts within the setting of a happy home. 1031 00:29:18,925 --> 00:29:20,965 you can resolve those conflicts within the setting of a happy home. 1032 00:29:20,965 --> 00:29:21,285 you can resolve those conflicts within the setting of a happy home. 1033 00:29:21,285 --> 00:29:23,325 I think how people resolve their differences, 1034 00:29:23,325 --> 00:29:23,925 I think how people resolve their differences, 1035 00:29:23,925 --> 00:29:25,965 is maybe a good indication of how they will be successful as parents. 1036 00:29:25,965 --> 00:29:28,005 is maybe a good indication of how they will be successful as parents. 1037 00:29:28,005 --> 00:29:28,445 is maybe a good indication of how they will be successful as parents. 1038 00:29:32,405 --> 00:29:34,445 As part of Ian's ongoing home improvements, 1039 00:29:34,445 --> 00:29:35,085 As part of Ian's ongoing home improvements, 1040 00:29:35,085 --> 00:29:37,045 there's been a flat-pack delivery... 1041 00:29:37,045 --> 00:29:39,085 Do you wanna go first? It's heavy, yeah, no worries. 1042 00:29:39,085 --> 00:29:39,485 Do you wanna go first? It's heavy, yeah, no worries. 1043 00:29:41,245 --> 00:29:43,285 This is not gonna work for me, Ollie. Go on. 1044 00:29:43,285 --> 00:29:43,645 This is not gonna work for me, Ollie. Go on. 1045 00:29:43,645 --> 00:29:45,005 Off, off, off, off, off. 1046 00:29:45,005 --> 00:29:46,565 DRILLING 1047 00:29:46,565 --> 00:29:48,605 We get A's, and we stick them 1048 00:29:48,605 --> 00:29:50,125 We get A's, and we stick them 1049 00:29:50,125 --> 00:29:51,925 in the A hole. 1050 00:29:51,925 --> 00:29:53,045 A hole? 1051 00:29:53,045 --> 00:29:54,005 THEY LAUGH 1052 00:29:55,525 --> 00:29:57,565 I think that Sarah and I do have a very similar sense of humour. 1053 00:29:57,565 --> 00:29:59,605 I think that Sarah and I do have a very similar sense of humour. 1054 00:29:59,605 --> 00:30:00,245 I think that Sarah and I do have a very similar sense of humour. 1055 00:30:00,245 --> 00:30:02,285 That's not quite what I meant. 1056 00:30:02,285 --> 00:30:02,605 That's not quite what I meant. 1057 00:30:02,605 --> 00:30:04,165 No, no comment. 1058 00:30:04,165 --> 00:30:06,205 We're both very sensible and we seem to work quite well as a team. 1059 00:30:06,205 --> 00:30:08,245 We're both very sensible and we seem to work quite well as a team. 1060 00:30:08,245 --> 00:30:09,725 We're both very sensible and we seem to work quite well as a team. 1061 00:30:09,725 --> 00:30:11,765 This should complete the cabinet. 1062 00:30:11,765 --> 00:30:13,245 This should complete the cabinet. 1063 00:30:13,245 --> 00:30:15,285 RATTLING INSIDE 1064 00:30:15,285 --> 00:30:15,645 RATTLING INSIDE 1065 00:30:15,645 --> 00:30:17,685 Being around him is really easy. 1066 00:30:17,685 --> 00:30:18,725 Being around him is really easy. 1067 00:30:18,725 --> 00:30:20,765 But the elephant in the room will have to be discussed, and that is... 1068 00:30:20,765 --> 00:30:22,805 But the elephant in the room will have to be discussed, and that is... 1069 00:30:22,805 --> 00:30:24,045 But the elephant in the room will have to be discussed, and that is... 1070 00:30:25,725 --> 00:30:27,325 ..the distance. 1071 00:30:27,325 --> 00:30:29,365 So, have you thought any more about me moving to Cornwall? 1072 00:30:29,365 --> 00:30:31,405 So, have you thought any more about me moving to Cornwall? 1073 00:30:31,405 --> 00:30:32,605 So, have you thought any more about me moving to Cornwall? 1074 00:30:32,605 --> 00:30:34,645 The challenge and the difficulty 1075 00:30:34,645 --> 00:30:36,685 and the question that I know will keep coming up 1076 00:30:36,685 --> 00:30:37,005 and the question that I know will keep coming up 1077 00:30:37,005 --> 00:30:39,045 and does keep coming up is, distance and location. 1078 00:30:39,045 --> 00:30:39,285 and does keep coming up is, distance and location. 1079 00:30:39,285 --> 00:30:40,325 I think... 1080 00:30:41,885 --> 00:30:43,925 ..you know, we're here because both of us have this 1081 00:30:43,925 --> 00:30:45,965 ..you know, we're here because both of us have this 1082 00:30:45,965 --> 00:30:46,805 ..you know, we're here because both of us have this 1083 00:30:46,805 --> 00:30:48,845 desperate need to be a parent, and what 1084 00:30:48,845 --> 00:30:49,685 desperate need to be a parent, and what 1085 00:30:49,685 --> 00:30:51,605 I don't want to do is be like, 1086 00:30:51,605 --> 00:30:53,645 so you have a child, but actually, 1087 00:30:53,645 --> 00:30:55,245 so you have a child, but actually, 1088 00:30:55,245 --> 00:30:57,285 because of distance and things like that, 1089 00:30:57,285 --> 00:30:57,605 because of distance and things like that, 1090 00:30:57,605 --> 00:30:59,645 then you don't get to enjoy it, particularly when they're little... 1091 00:30:59,645 --> 00:31:01,445 then you don't get to enjoy it, particularly when they're little... 1092 00:31:01,445 --> 00:31:03,485 I think I did originally, see this as a 50/50 type of thing. 1093 00:31:03,485 --> 00:31:05,165 I think I did originally, see this as a 50/50 type of thing. 1094 00:31:05,165 --> 00:31:07,205 Uh, you know, a bit like if you... 1095 00:31:07,205 --> 00:31:08,405 Uh, you know, a bit like if you... 1096 00:31:08,405 --> 00:31:10,445 have a child and then divorce. 1097 00:31:10,445 --> 00:31:10,925 have a child and then divorce. 1098 00:31:10,925 --> 00:31:12,965 You know, you might get that child on a Thursday and a Saturday. 1099 00:31:12,965 --> 00:31:14,845 You know, you might get that child on a Thursday and a Saturday. 1100 00:31:14,845 --> 00:31:16,885 The reality is, certainly in the early years, 1101 00:31:16,885 --> 00:31:17,725 The reality is, certainly in the early years, 1102 00:31:17,725 --> 00:31:19,765 it'll be with you, because of the nature of you're the mother, 1103 00:31:19,765 --> 00:31:21,725 it'll be with you, because of the nature of you're the mother, 1104 00:31:21,725 --> 00:31:23,725 you've got to carry the child. 1105 00:31:23,725 --> 00:31:25,765 It's really hard for me to go, you know what, I'll uproot 1106 00:31:25,765 --> 00:31:26,285 It's really hard for me to go, you know what, I'll uproot 1107 00:31:26,285 --> 00:31:28,365 and move to somewhere I don't know. 1108 00:31:28,365 --> 00:31:30,405 I think this whole experience would be very different 1109 00:31:30,405 --> 00:31:31,205 I think this whole experience would be very different 1110 00:31:31,205 --> 00:31:33,045 if you lived on the next street... 1111 00:31:33,045 --> 00:31:35,085 Yeah. ..or I lived on the next street to you. 1112 00:31:35,085 --> 00:31:35,645 Yeah. ..or I lived on the next street to you. 1113 00:31:35,645 --> 00:31:37,685 And I'm not sure uh, currently, that I want to leave Manchester. 1114 00:31:37,685 --> 00:31:39,725 And I'm not sure uh, currently, that I want to leave Manchester. 1115 00:31:39,725 --> 00:31:40,165 And I'm not sure uh, currently, that I want to leave Manchester. 1116 00:31:40,165 --> 00:31:42,205 And it's just the way it is. 1117 00:31:42,205 --> 00:31:42,645 And it's just the way it is. 1118 00:31:42,645 --> 00:31:44,685 I'd be really disappointed if the distance thing was something 1119 00:31:44,685 --> 00:31:46,685 I'd be really disappointed if the distance thing was something 1120 00:31:46,685 --> 00:31:46,925 I'd be really disappointed if the distance thing was something 1121 00:31:46,925 --> 00:31:48,325 we couldn't overcome, 1122 00:31:48,325 --> 00:31:50,365 and it meant that, you know, this whole thing came to an end. 1123 00:31:50,365 --> 00:31:51,445 and it meant that, you know, this whole thing came to an end. 1124 00:32:02,565 --> 00:32:04,605 I came away on this weekend to get to know him better and I have, 1125 00:32:04,605 --> 00:32:06,645 I came away on this weekend to get to know him better and I have, 1126 00:32:06,645 --> 00:32:06,885 I came away on this weekend to get to know him better and I have, 1127 00:32:06,885 --> 00:32:08,925 and he's just as lovely, 1128 00:32:08,925 --> 00:32:09,845 and he's just as lovely, 1129 00:32:09,845 --> 00:32:11,725 if not more wonderful. 1130 00:32:13,245 --> 00:32:15,285 But I'm afraid of losing him as an option. 1131 00:32:15,285 --> 00:32:17,325 But I'm afraid of losing him as an option. 1132 00:32:17,325 --> 00:32:17,645 But I'm afraid of losing him as an option. 1133 00:32:28,165 --> 00:32:30,205 I'm not saying, Nigel, we're going to try next month and then 1134 00:32:30,205 --> 00:32:31,285 I'm not saying, Nigel, we're going to try next month and then 1135 00:32:31,285 --> 00:32:33,325 have a baby straight away, because I don't know how long that will take. 1136 00:32:33,325 --> 00:32:34,645 have a baby straight away, because I don't know how long that will take. 1137 00:32:34,645 --> 00:32:36,685 But I just don't want to wait six months and then try, 1138 00:32:36,685 --> 00:32:37,925 But I just don't want to wait six months and then try, 1139 00:32:37,925 --> 00:32:39,965 and it takes three years to get pregnant. 1140 00:32:39,965 --> 00:32:40,125 and it takes three years to get pregnant. 1141 00:32:40,965 --> 00:32:42,925 Erm... 1142 00:32:42,925 --> 00:32:44,565 I don't really know where to go from there. 1143 00:32:44,565 --> 00:32:45,765 I've kept you 1144 00:32:45,765 --> 00:32:47,805 informed every step of the way as far as my relationship. 1145 00:32:47,805 --> 00:32:49,325 informed every step of the way as far as my relationship. 1146 00:32:49,325 --> 00:32:50,565 Erm... 1147 00:32:50,565 --> 00:32:52,605 I don't know what I'm supposed to do. 1148 00:32:52,605 --> 00:32:53,045 I don't know what I'm supposed to do. 1149 00:32:53,045 --> 00:32:55,085 This weekend is about getting to know each other 1150 00:32:55,085 --> 00:32:56,165 This weekend is about getting to know each other 1151 00:32:56,165 --> 00:32:58,205 and we're definitely doing that. 1152 00:32:58,205 --> 00:32:58,685 and we're definitely doing that. 1153 00:32:58,685 --> 00:33:00,725 Erm, I'm not sure it's going brilliantly well right now, 1154 00:33:00,725 --> 00:33:02,045 Erm, I'm not sure it's going brilliantly well right now, 1155 00:33:02,045 --> 00:33:03,005 there are... 1156 00:33:04,085 --> 00:33:05,205 That's the idea. 1157 00:33:05,205 --> 00:33:07,245 Getting to know our, our darker sides and things that we 1158 00:33:07,245 --> 00:33:09,005 Getting to know our, our darker sides and things that we 1159 00:33:09,005 --> 00:33:11,045 will clash on and things we don't like about each other. 1160 00:33:11,045 --> 00:33:12,645 will clash on and things we don't like about each other. 1161 00:33:12,645 --> 00:33:14,685 I get you need... you, you have a timeline, 1162 00:33:14,685 --> 00:33:15,445 I get you need... you, you have a timeline, 1163 00:33:15,445 --> 00:33:17,485 you need to have a child, you know, your time's running out. 1164 00:33:17,485 --> 00:33:17,805 you need to have a child, you know, your time's running out. 1165 00:33:17,805 --> 00:33:19,925 That's... that's a biological fact. 1166 00:33:19,925 --> 00:33:21,965 The bottom line is, that's not my problem. 1167 00:33:21,965 --> 00:33:22,205 The bottom line is, that's not my problem. 1168 00:33:22,205 --> 00:33:23,405 That's nothing to do with me. 1169 00:33:23,405 --> 00:33:24,805 That's to do with you. 1170 00:33:24,805 --> 00:33:26,805 But are we not both in this process 1171 00:33:26,805 --> 00:33:28,845 because we both want to have children? Of course we are. OK... 1172 00:33:28,845 --> 00:33:29,485 because we both want to have children? Of course we are. OK... 1173 00:33:29,485 --> 00:33:31,045 For you... Mmm. 1174 00:33:31,045 --> 00:33:33,085 ..this weekend is gonna be, is gonna be just to confirm how you... 1175 00:33:33,085 --> 00:33:34,765 ..this weekend is gonna be, is gonna be just to confirm how you... 1176 00:33:34,765 --> 00:33:36,805 that you want to co-parent with me. That's where you... 1177 00:33:36,805 --> 00:33:37,725 that you want to co-parent with me. That's where you... 1178 00:33:37,725 --> 00:33:39,565 Yeah, if I want to go on... Yeah... 1179 00:33:39,565 --> 00:33:41,605 ..because I can't know enough over just one weekend, 1180 00:33:41,605 --> 00:33:42,645 ..because I can't know enough over just one weekend, 1181 00:33:42,645 --> 00:33:44,685 I need to meet your friends and family, 1182 00:33:44,685 --> 00:33:45,405 I need to meet your friends and family, 1183 00:33:45,405 --> 00:33:47,445 like your greater circle of what makes you you... Yeah... 1184 00:33:47,445 --> 00:33:49,485 like your greater circle of what makes you you... Yeah... 1185 00:33:49,485 --> 00:33:49,725 like your greater circle of what makes you you... Yeah... 1186 00:33:49,725 --> 00:33:51,445 ..and the same on my side as well. 1187 00:33:51,445 --> 00:33:53,485 Before deciding that we're gonna have a child... Yes, exactly. 1188 00:33:53,485 --> 00:33:54,445 Before deciding that we're gonna have a child... Yes, exactly. 1189 00:33:54,445 --> 00:33:56,445 That's what I've been saying the whole time. 1190 00:33:56,445 --> 00:33:58,485 You... but you're saying that you feel like I'm... 1191 00:33:58,485 --> 00:33:58,805 You... but you're saying that you feel like I'm... 1192 00:33:58,805 --> 00:34:00,845 I don't wanna do that, because you've... you've got to do it, 1193 00:34:00,845 --> 00:34:01,085 I don't wanna do that, because you've... you've got to do it, 1194 00:34:01,085 --> 00:34:02,405 it's got to be within a year. 1195 00:34:03,765 --> 00:34:05,805 So, you do... So, you wanna take... ah, OK. 1196 00:34:05,805 --> 00:34:06,125 So, you do... So, you wanna take... ah, OK. 1197 00:34:06,125 --> 00:34:08,165 Urgh, anyway. No, no, Venicia, you've been saying to me 1198 00:34:08,165 --> 00:34:08,485 Urgh, anyway. No, no, Venicia, you've been saying to me 1199 00:34:08,485 --> 00:34:10,525 the whole time that this weekend, you know, it's... for you, 1200 00:34:10,525 --> 00:34:10,845 the whole time that this weekend, you know, it's... for you, 1201 00:34:10,845 --> 00:34:12,885 you've already decided, I think you words you used were 85, 90% sure... 1202 00:34:12,885 --> 00:34:13,565 you've already decided, I think you words you used were 85, 90% sure... 1203 00:34:13,565 --> 00:34:15,605 Yeah. ..that I'm the right person for you to co parent with. 1204 00:34:15,605 --> 00:34:16,445 Yeah. ..that I'm the right person for you to co parent with. 1205 00:34:16,445 --> 00:34:18,165 Based on you being... Your ability... 1206 00:34:18,165 --> 00:34:20,205 Based on whether we met each other up to this point... Yes. 1207 00:34:20,205 --> 00:34:22,245 Based on whether we met each other up to this point... Yes. 1208 00:34:22,245 --> 00:34:22,565 Based on whether we met each other up to this point... Yes. 1209 00:34:22,565 --> 00:34:24,605 Right, but that doesn't mean that you wanna start going... 1210 00:34:24,605 --> 00:34:25,565 Right, but that doesn't mean that you wanna start going... 1211 00:34:25,565 --> 00:34:27,605 There's still... having a child with me, from this point. 1212 00:34:27,605 --> 00:34:28,205 There's still... having a child with me, from this point. 1213 00:34:28,205 --> 00:34:30,245 Was it 100%, Nigel? Oh, my God, that's... 1214 00:34:30,245 --> 00:34:30,765 Was it 100%, Nigel? Oh, my God, that's... 1215 00:34:30,765 --> 00:34:32,245 I'm just asking you. 1216 00:34:32,245 --> 00:34:34,285 And who knows after this weekend, 1217 00:34:34,285 --> 00:34:34,605 And who knows after this weekend, 1218 00:34:34,605 --> 00:34:36,645 I still need to meet you under different circumstances, 1219 00:34:36,645 --> 00:34:38,685 I still need to meet you under different circumstances, 1220 00:34:38,685 --> 00:34:39,005 I still need to meet you under different circumstances, 1221 00:34:39,005 --> 00:34:41,045 and there's so much more we need to experience to know if we can... 1222 00:34:41,045 --> 00:34:42,525 and there's so much more we need to experience to know if we can... 1223 00:34:43,765 --> 00:34:44,965 ..co parent. 1224 00:34:44,965 --> 00:34:47,005 But I'm like... Yeah. I don't know, this is like... 1225 00:34:47,005 --> 00:34:47,285 But I'm like... Yeah. I don't know, this is like... 1226 00:34:47,285 --> 00:34:48,525 Kinda my point. 1227 00:34:48,525 --> 00:34:50,565 You know what, let's put a time-out, because like it's giving 1228 00:34:50,565 --> 00:34:51,085 You know what, let's put a time-out, because like it's giving 1229 00:34:51,085 --> 00:34:53,125 me a headache. I don't want to talk about this any more, to be honest. 1230 00:34:53,125 --> 00:34:53,885 me a headache. I don't want to talk about this any more, to be honest. 1231 00:34:53,885 --> 00:34:55,245 Ugh. 1232 00:35:07,110 --> 00:35:09,150 24 hours into Nigel and Venicia's weekend, 1233 00:35:09,150 --> 00:35:09,910 24 hours into Nigel and Venicia's weekend, 1234 00:35:09,910 --> 00:35:11,950 and negotiations have stalled. 1235 00:35:11,950 --> 00:35:12,670 and negotiations have stalled. 1236 00:35:12,670 --> 00:35:14,710 I think it's abundantly clear that what we're looking for in terms 1237 00:35:14,710 --> 00:35:16,750 I think it's abundantly clear that what we're looking for in terms 1238 00:35:16,750 --> 00:35:17,070 I think it's abundantly clear that what we're looking for in terms 1239 00:35:17,070 --> 00:35:19,110 of starting a - having a child, the timelines, we don't agree on. 1240 00:35:19,110 --> 00:35:21,150 of starting a - having a child, the timelines, we don't agree on. 1241 00:35:21,150 --> 00:35:21,750 of starting a - having a child, the timelines, we don't agree on. 1242 00:35:23,030 --> 00:35:25,070 Venicia has taken the drastic decision to bring their time 1243 00:35:25,070 --> 00:35:25,990 Venicia has taken the drastic decision to bring their time 1244 00:35:25,990 --> 00:35:27,470 together to an end. 1245 00:35:27,470 --> 00:35:29,510 We don't want the same things about, like, you know, I want to 1246 00:35:29,510 --> 00:35:31,230 We don't want the same things about, like, you know, I want to 1247 00:35:31,230 --> 00:35:33,270 start a family as soon as I can. 1248 00:35:33,270 --> 00:35:33,790 start a family as soon as I can. 1249 00:35:33,790 --> 00:35:35,830 Whereas he doesn't any more. 1250 00:35:35,830 --> 00:35:36,830 Whereas he doesn't any more. 1251 00:35:36,830 --> 00:35:38,870 So, he...he's kind of like changed, so... 1252 00:35:38,870 --> 00:35:39,470 So, he...he's kind of like changed, so... 1253 00:35:39,470 --> 00:35:41,510 ..so it doesn't, like, we don't match up any more. 1254 00:35:41,510 --> 00:35:42,670 ..so it doesn't, like, we don't match up any more. 1255 00:35:42,670 --> 00:35:44,710 Disappointing. Like, really disappointing, and I feel 1256 00:35:44,710 --> 00:35:45,470 Disappointing. Like, really disappointing, and I feel 1257 00:35:45,470 --> 00:35:47,510 like I've invested so much time over the past few months, but it's OK. 1258 00:35:47,510 --> 00:35:48,670 like I've invested so much time over the past few months, but it's OK. 1259 00:35:48,670 --> 00:35:50,710 It's better to know now, than potentially having a child 1260 00:35:50,710 --> 00:35:51,750 It's better to know now, than potentially having a child 1261 00:35:51,750 --> 00:35:53,070 and like... 1262 00:35:53,070 --> 00:35:55,110 Yeah. This is what this weekend is for, so it's fine. 1263 00:35:55,110 --> 00:35:56,310 Yeah. This is what this weekend is for, so it's fine. 1264 00:36:00,190 --> 00:36:01,350 Hey... 1265 00:36:01,350 --> 00:36:02,910 I've come to say goodbye. 1266 00:36:02,910 --> 00:36:04,950 Wish you good luck with everything. Thank you, and you too. 1267 00:36:04,950 --> 00:36:05,830 Wish you good luck with everything. Thank you, and you too. 1268 00:36:20,310 --> 00:36:22,350 That's the end of that I suppose. 1269 00:36:22,350 --> 00:36:22,710 That's the end of that I suppose. 1270 00:36:22,710 --> 00:36:24,750 I don't feel too bad, because I think some things were 1271 00:36:24,750 --> 00:36:25,230 I don't feel too bad, because I think some things were 1272 00:36:25,230 --> 00:36:27,270 kind of revealed to me over the last day or so, 1273 00:36:27,270 --> 00:36:28,670 kind of revealed to me over the last day or so, 1274 00:36:28,670 --> 00:36:30,710 that probably would have led me to this, this conclusion anyway. 1275 00:36:30,710 --> 00:36:32,750 that probably would have led me to this, this conclusion anyway. 1276 00:36:32,750 --> 00:36:33,070 that probably would have led me to this, this conclusion anyway. 1277 00:36:33,070 --> 00:36:35,110 In the cold light of day, I'm quite upset that Venicia decided to 1278 00:36:35,110 --> 00:36:37,150 In the cold light of day, I'm quite upset that Venicia decided to 1279 00:36:37,150 --> 00:36:37,470 In the cold light of day, I'm quite upset that Venicia decided to 1280 00:36:37,470 --> 00:36:39,510 take things to the level that we got to so quickly. 1281 00:36:39,510 --> 00:36:40,990 take things to the level that we got to so quickly. 1282 00:36:40,990 --> 00:36:43,030 I think she just was disappointed that 1283 00:36:43,030 --> 00:36:43,550 I think she just was disappointed that 1284 00:36:43,550 --> 00:36:45,590 I maybe didn't seem, to her, like I was on the same page. 1285 00:36:45,590 --> 00:36:46,550 I maybe didn't seem, to her, like I was on the same page. 1286 00:36:46,550 --> 00:36:48,590 It doesn't mean we couldn't have used the next, you know, 24 hours 1287 00:36:48,590 --> 00:36:50,630 It doesn't mean we couldn't have used the next, you know, 24 hours 1288 00:36:50,630 --> 00:36:50,950 It doesn't mean we couldn't have used the next, you know, 24 hours 1289 00:36:50,950 --> 00:36:52,990 wisely, and maybe something positive would have come out of that, 1290 00:36:52,990 --> 00:36:53,950 wisely, and maybe something positive would have come out of that, 1291 00:36:53,950 --> 00:36:55,990 rather than just go, "No, that's that then, and we're done." 1292 00:36:55,990 --> 00:36:56,750 rather than just go, "No, that's that then, and we're done." 1293 00:36:56,750 --> 00:36:58,790 However, from my point of view, 1294 00:36:58,790 --> 00:36:59,110 However, from my point of view, 1295 00:36:59,110 --> 00:37:01,150 we were having the same conversation in repetition. 1296 00:37:01,150 --> 00:37:02,270 we were having the same conversation in repetition. 1297 00:37:02,270 --> 00:37:04,310 That says to me that she wasn't happy with the original resolution we had. 1298 00:37:04,310 --> 00:37:05,830 That says to me that she wasn't happy with the original resolution we had. 1299 00:37:09,230 --> 00:37:10,790 Erm... 1300 00:37:10,790 --> 00:37:12,470 Where do I go from here? 1301 00:37:12,470 --> 00:37:14,510 I'd have to... I've got to... I'd have to think about it, really, I don't know. 1302 00:37:14,510 --> 00:37:15,230 I'd have to... I've got to... I'd have to think about it, really, I don't know. 1303 00:37:18,230 --> 00:37:20,270 I'm sure that all potential co-parents hope 1304 00:37:20,270 --> 00:37:21,110 I'm sure that all potential co-parents hope 1305 00:37:21,110 --> 00:37:23,150 they are going to find the right person, but it isn't always going 1306 00:37:23,150 --> 00:37:24,710 they are going to find the right person, but it isn't always going 1307 00:37:24,710 --> 00:37:26,750 to happen, and, sadly, there's going to be disappointments along the way. 1308 00:37:26,750 --> 00:37:28,310 to happen, and, sadly, there's going to be disappointments along the way. 1309 00:37:37,430 --> 00:37:38,390 Come on, boys. 1310 00:37:39,910 --> 00:37:41,950 So, this is Castlefield... It's beautiful. 1311 00:37:41,950 --> 00:37:42,350 So, this is Castlefield... It's beautiful. 1312 00:37:42,350 --> 00:37:44,390 And this is my favourite pub over there, The Wharf, dog-friendly, 1313 00:37:44,390 --> 00:37:45,350 And this is my favourite pub over there, The Wharf, dog-friendly, 1314 00:37:45,350 --> 00:37:47,390 and it's just quite a cool bar as well again, with outside... 1315 00:37:47,390 --> 00:37:47,910 and it's just quite a cool bar as well again, with outside... 1316 00:37:47,910 --> 00:37:49,030 Yeah... 1317 00:37:49,030 --> 00:37:50,270 I love Manchester. 1318 00:37:50,270 --> 00:37:52,070 I've lived here now for 16 years. 1319 00:37:52,070 --> 00:37:54,110 My home's here, my business is here, 1320 00:37:54,110 --> 00:37:54,830 My home's here, my business is here, 1321 00:37:54,830 --> 00:37:56,870 and my friends are here, you know. 1322 00:37:56,870 --> 00:37:58,910 So, it's a big sacrifice to think about giving that up. 1323 00:37:58,910 --> 00:38:00,350 So, it's a big sacrifice to think about giving that up. 1324 00:38:01,470 --> 00:38:03,150 This is amazing to have all of this. 1325 00:38:03,150 --> 00:38:04,630 Yeah, this is where I run as well. 1326 00:38:04,630 --> 00:38:06,070 So, you get the canal here 1327 00:38:06,070 --> 00:38:08,110 and you can run all the way down past Old Trafford. Oh, nice... 1328 00:38:08,110 --> 00:38:08,430 and you can run all the way down past Old Trafford. Oh, nice... 1329 00:38:08,430 --> 00:38:10,430 Yeah. It's a really nice run. That is ideal. 1330 00:38:10,430 --> 00:38:12,470 I don't want to move to Cornwall, but living six hours apart is 1331 00:38:12,470 --> 00:38:14,510 I don't want to move to Cornwall, but living six hours apart is 1332 00:38:14,510 --> 00:38:16,550 not a practical or fair way to raise a child, or support the co-parent. 1333 00:38:16,550 --> 00:38:18,590 not a practical or fair way to raise a child, or support the co-parent. 1334 00:38:18,590 --> 00:38:19,470 not a practical or fair way to raise a child, or support the co-parent. 1335 00:38:19,470 --> 00:38:20,470 So, what do I do? 1336 00:38:24,910 --> 00:38:26,950 What happens if we don't do it? 1337 00:38:26,950 --> 00:38:27,110 What happens if we don't do it? 1338 00:38:28,390 --> 00:38:30,190 What's the outcome then, you know? 1339 00:38:30,190 --> 00:38:32,230 Do we go through the process again with somebody else and look... 1340 00:38:32,230 --> 00:38:34,270 Do we go through the process again with somebody else and look... 1341 00:38:34,270 --> 00:38:34,830 Do we go through the process again with somebody else and look... 1342 00:38:34,830 --> 00:38:36,590 ..to address those issues? 1343 00:38:36,590 --> 00:38:38,630 And maybe we do, and maybe it works, maybe we're lucky, 1344 00:38:38,630 --> 00:38:39,630 And maybe we do, and maybe it works, maybe we're lucky, 1345 00:38:39,630 --> 00:38:41,670 and we find somebody that we get on like I think you and I get on. 1346 00:38:41,670 --> 00:38:42,310 and we find somebody that we get on like I think you and I get on. 1347 00:38:42,310 --> 00:38:44,350 Erm... Or maybe we don't. 1348 00:38:44,350 --> 00:38:44,870 Erm... Or maybe we don't. 1349 00:38:46,270 --> 00:38:48,310 Ian would make the most amazing dad, but I don't want to raise 1350 00:38:48,310 --> 00:38:50,350 Ian would make the most amazing dad, but I don't want to raise 1351 00:38:50,350 --> 00:38:52,390 Ian would make the most amazing dad, but I don't want to raise 1352 00:38:52,390 --> 00:38:52,710 Ian would make the most amazing dad, but I don't want to raise 1353 00:38:52,710 --> 00:38:54,750 a child having to send them up and down the country for six 1354 00:38:54,750 --> 00:38:56,790 a child having to send them up and down the country for six 1355 00:38:56,790 --> 00:38:57,110 a child having to send them up and down the country for six 1356 00:38:57,110 --> 00:38:59,150 hours on a regular basis because I... I don't feel that that's fair. 1357 00:38:59,150 --> 00:39:00,870 hours on a regular basis because I... I don't feel that that's fair. 1358 00:39:00,870 --> 00:39:02,950 I know that you want to be a dad, 1359 00:39:02,950 --> 00:39:04,990 and what I don't want is for arrange...an arrangement where... 1360 00:39:04,990 --> 00:39:07,030 and what I don't want is for arrange...an arrangement where... 1361 00:39:07,030 --> 00:39:07,350 and what I don't want is for arrange...an arrangement where... 1362 00:39:07,350 --> 00:39:09,390 ..you're a part-time dad, when actually, that, you want more. 1363 00:39:09,390 --> 00:39:10,990 ..you're a part-time dad, when actually, that, you want more. 1364 00:39:10,990 --> 00:39:13,030 Yeah... I don't want you to have to compromise on that. 1365 00:39:13,030 --> 00:39:15,070 Yeah... I don't want you to have to compromise on that. 1366 00:39:15,070 --> 00:39:15,510 Yeah... I don't want you to have to compromise on that. 1367 00:39:15,510 --> 00:39:17,550 I think if this didn't work out, I'd be really disappointed. 1368 00:39:17,550 --> 00:39:19,230 I think if this didn't work out, I'd be really disappointed. 1369 00:39:19,230 --> 00:39:20,870 You know, part of me thinks, 1370 00:39:20,870 --> 00:39:22,910 "Well, is this the last opportunity to do this?" 1371 00:39:22,910 --> 00:39:24,110 "Well, is this the last opportunity to do this?" 1372 00:39:24,110 --> 00:39:26,150 This isn't something that takes a short amount of time, 1373 00:39:26,150 --> 00:39:26,990 This isn't something that takes a short amount of time, 1374 00:39:26,990 --> 00:39:29,030 you know, you've got to...you've got to really think it through. 1375 00:39:29,030 --> 00:39:29,550 you know, you've got to...you've got to really think it through. 1376 00:39:29,550 --> 00:39:31,590 You've got to make sure that those decisions you make are right. 1377 00:39:31,590 --> 00:39:33,030 You've got to make sure that those decisions you make are right. 1378 00:39:33,030 --> 00:39:35,070 The easiest choice for me is to just walk away from it and say, 1379 00:39:35,070 --> 00:39:36,950 The easiest choice for me is to just walk away from it and say, 1380 00:39:36,950 --> 00:39:38,670 "You know, this can't work." 1381 00:39:40,870 --> 00:39:42,910 I have thought a little bit more about kind of how it could 1382 00:39:42,910 --> 00:39:44,550 I have thought a little bit more about kind of how it could 1383 00:39:44,550 --> 00:39:45,710 possibly work... 1384 00:39:48,230 --> 00:39:50,270 The barrier that we talked about last night... 1385 00:39:50,270 --> 00:39:51,910 The barrier that we talked about last night... 1386 00:39:51,910 --> 00:39:53,950 ..isn't, you know, a total barrier. 1387 00:39:53,950 --> 00:39:54,910 ..isn't, you know, a total barrier. 1388 00:39:54,910 --> 00:39:56,950 I think there are ways of overcoming it. 1389 00:39:56,950 --> 00:39:58,150 I think there are ways of overcoming it. 1390 00:39:58,150 --> 00:40:00,190 You know, this is something that I want. 1391 00:40:00,190 --> 00:40:01,110 You know, this is something that I want. 1392 00:40:01,110 --> 00:40:03,150 I feel that the sacrifice, in terms of travel and distance, 1393 00:40:03,150 --> 00:40:04,870 I feel that the sacrifice, in terms of travel and distance, 1394 00:40:04,870 --> 00:40:06,910 will probably rightly fall on me. 1395 00:40:06,910 --> 00:40:08,110 will probably rightly fall on me. 1396 00:40:08,110 --> 00:40:10,150 That's why you know, I can see it in my head, me... 1397 00:40:10,150 --> 00:40:12,190 That's why you know, I can see it in my head, me... 1398 00:40:12,190 --> 00:40:12,350 That's why you know, I can see it in my head, me... 1399 00:40:14,710 --> 00:40:16,750 ..relocating temporarily to Cornwall. 1400 00:40:16,750 --> 00:40:17,870 ..relocating temporarily to Cornwall. 1401 00:40:17,870 --> 00:40:19,910 Becoming a parent is something I really want, and to do that, 1402 00:40:19,910 --> 00:40:21,710 Becoming a parent is something I really want, and to do that, 1403 00:40:21,710 --> 00:40:23,750 you have to make sacrifices. 1404 00:40:23,750 --> 00:40:24,070 you have to make sacrifices. 1405 00:40:24,070 --> 00:40:26,110 So, if my best chance of becoming a dad is to move to Cornwall, 1406 00:40:26,110 --> 00:40:27,910 So, if my best chance of becoming a dad is to move to Cornwall, 1407 00:40:27,910 --> 00:40:29,990 then I'm open to it. 1408 00:40:29,990 --> 00:40:32,030 Let's think about the first 12 months and get that done, because 1409 00:40:32,030 --> 00:40:34,070 Let's think about the first 12 months and get that done, because 1410 00:40:34,070 --> 00:40:34,390 Let's think about the first 12 months and get that done, because 1411 00:40:34,390 --> 00:40:36,430 I think if we do, I think the rest of it will just fall into place. 1412 00:40:36,430 --> 00:40:38,270 I think if we do, I think the rest of it will just fall into place. 1413 00:40:39,990 --> 00:40:41,910 I was not expecting that. 1414 00:40:43,150 --> 00:40:45,190 If there is potentially a way to make it work, then that's fantastic. 1415 00:40:45,190 --> 00:40:47,230 If there is potentially a way to make it work, then that's fantastic. 1416 00:40:47,230 --> 00:40:48,790 If there is potentially a way to make it work, then that's fantastic. 1417 00:40:49,950 --> 00:40:51,990 Oh, my God. 1418 00:40:51,990 --> 00:40:52,230 Oh, my God. 1419 00:40:52,230 --> 00:40:53,590 Look at my trousers. 1420 00:40:53,590 --> 00:40:54,830 SHE LAUGHS 1421 00:40:54,830 --> 00:40:56,870 What a mess. As cute as it is Alex, look at the state of me now... 1422 00:40:56,870 --> 00:40:58,190 What a mess. As cute as it is Alex, look at the state of me now... 1423 00:40:58,190 --> 00:41:00,230 Come on, then, let's go. Yes. 1424 00:41:00,230 --> 00:41:01,470 Come on, then, let's go. Yes. 1425 00:41:09,430 --> 00:41:11,350 There you go, you're home again. 1426 00:41:12,630 --> 00:41:14,670 Definitely excited to know that I'm... 1427 00:41:14,670 --> 00:41:16,710 Definitely excited to know that I'm... 1428 00:41:16,710 --> 00:41:17,310 Definitely excited to know that I'm... 1429 00:41:17,310 --> 00:41:19,350 ..one step closer to becoming a parent. 1430 00:41:19,350 --> 00:41:20,030 ..one step closer to becoming a parent. 1431 00:41:21,150 --> 00:41:23,190 That's kind of unbelievable. 1432 00:41:23,190 --> 00:41:23,510 That's kind of unbelievable. 1433 00:41:23,510 --> 00:41:25,550 The sun has come out just as I'm leaving. 1434 00:41:25,550 --> 00:41:26,070 The sun has come out just as I'm leaving. 1435 00:41:26,070 --> 00:41:28,110 Cool, thank you. Well, let's be in touch. 1436 00:41:28,110 --> 00:41:28,550 Cool, thank you. Well, let's be in touch. 1437 00:41:28,550 --> 00:41:30,590 Absolutely. And I hope everything goes OK with the move. Thank you. 1438 00:41:30,590 --> 00:41:31,150 Absolutely. And I hope everything goes OK with the move. Thank you. 1439 00:41:31,150 --> 00:41:33,190 Yeah, and I'll see you very soon. Absolutely. Drive safely. 1440 00:41:33,190 --> 00:41:34,030 Yeah, and I'll see you very soon. Absolutely. Drive safely. 1441 00:41:35,630 --> 00:41:37,670 From where we were on Friday to where we've got to today, 1442 00:41:37,670 --> 00:41:39,310 From where we were on Friday to where we've got to today, 1443 00:41:39,310 --> 00:41:41,350 I didn't expect it to be such an emotional roller-coaster. 1444 00:41:41,350 --> 00:41:42,110 I didn't expect it to be such an emotional roller-coaster. 1445 00:41:44,550 --> 00:41:46,190 This decision is huge. 1446 00:41:46,190 --> 00:41:48,230 You know, people don't do this every day. 1447 00:41:48,230 --> 00:41:48,790 You know, people don't do this every day. 1448 00:42:01,430 --> 00:42:03,470 It's been several weeks since Nigel and Venicia parted ways. 1449 00:42:03,470 --> 00:42:05,510 It's been several weeks since Nigel and Venicia parted ways. 1450 00:42:05,510 --> 00:42:05,870 It's been several weeks since Nigel and Venicia parted ways. 1451 00:42:05,870 --> 00:42:07,910 So, although the process and this journey hasn't had the result 1452 00:42:07,910 --> 00:42:09,950 So, although the process and this journey hasn't had the result 1453 00:42:09,950 --> 00:42:10,190 So, although the process and this journey hasn't had the result 1454 00:42:10,190 --> 00:42:12,110 that I would have liked, but I am 1455 00:42:12,110 --> 00:42:14,150 a big believer in everything happens for a reason, and, 1456 00:42:14,150 --> 00:42:14,470 a big believer in everything happens for a reason, and, 1457 00:42:14,470 --> 00:42:16,510 you know, it wasn't meant to happen with Nigel, or even just this time. 1458 00:42:16,510 --> 00:42:18,550 you know, it wasn't meant to happen with Nigel, or even just this time. 1459 00:42:18,550 --> 00:42:18,870 you know, it wasn't meant to happen with Nigel, or even just this time. 1460 00:42:18,870 --> 00:42:20,910 But I very much still want to have a child. 1461 00:42:20,910 --> 00:42:21,510 But I very much still want to have a child. 1462 00:42:21,510 --> 00:42:23,550 Hi, Venicia! Come on in. Hi! 1463 00:42:23,550 --> 00:42:24,190 Hi, Venicia! Come on in. Hi! 1464 00:42:24,190 --> 00:42:25,950 You sit in that chair. Do you mind? Thank you. 1465 00:42:25,950 --> 00:42:27,990 So, today I'm here to meet Marie 1466 00:42:27,990 --> 00:42:28,310 So, today I'm here to meet Marie 1467 00:42:28,310 --> 00:42:30,350 so that I can discuss my fertility options going forward. 1468 00:42:30,350 --> 00:42:31,790 so that I can discuss my fertility options going forward. 1469 00:42:31,790 --> 00:42:33,830 How's this process all been for you? 1470 00:42:33,830 --> 00:42:34,550 How's this process all been for you? 1471 00:42:34,550 --> 00:42:35,790 Come on, fill me in. 1472 00:42:35,790 --> 00:42:37,830 So, unfortunately, it's come to an end for me, which is 1473 00:42:37,830 --> 00:42:39,830 So, unfortunately, it's come to an end for me, which is 1474 00:42:39,830 --> 00:42:40,070 So, unfortunately, it's come to an end for me, which is 1475 00:42:40,070 --> 00:42:41,150 disappointing, but... 1476 00:42:42,390 --> 00:42:44,430 ..the reason why it ended, like, I can't blame him for it, 1477 00:42:44,430 --> 00:42:45,110 ..the reason why it ended, like, I can't blame him for it, 1478 00:42:45,110 --> 00:42:47,150 like he deserves to be happy, so... 1479 00:42:47,150 --> 00:42:47,750 like he deserves to be happy, so... 1480 00:42:47,750 --> 00:42:49,790 I'm disappointed things didn't work out for Venicia and I. 1481 00:42:49,790 --> 00:42:51,190 I'm disappointed things didn't work out for Venicia and I. 1482 00:42:51,190 --> 00:42:52,750 Erm, I think we're on... 1483 00:42:53,790 --> 00:42:55,550 ..different timeframes. 1484 00:42:55,550 --> 00:42:57,590 Her biological clock is... 1485 00:42:57,590 --> 00:42:58,190 Her biological clock is... 1486 00:42:58,190 --> 00:42:59,710 ..counting down. 1487 00:42:59,710 --> 00:43:01,710 But I'll stand by what I said, 1488 00:43:01,710 --> 00:43:03,750 you won't find a better mum than Venicia. 1489 00:43:03,750 --> 00:43:05,150 you won't find a better mum than Venicia. 1490 00:43:05,150 --> 00:43:07,070 You won't, you know. 1491 00:43:07,070 --> 00:43:09,110 She's made for it and she would be absolutely amazing as a mother. 1492 00:43:09,110 --> 00:43:11,150 She's made for it and she would be absolutely amazing as a mother. 1493 00:43:11,150 --> 00:43:11,910 She's made for it and she would be absolutely amazing as a mother. 1494 00:43:11,910 --> 00:43:13,950 Before this journey began for you, had you looked at sperm banks? 1495 00:43:13,950 --> 00:43:15,990 Before this journey began for you, had you looked at sperm banks? 1496 00:43:15,990 --> 00:43:16,710 Before this journey began for you, had you looked at sperm banks? 1497 00:43:16,710 --> 00:43:18,750 Had you investigated? I started... 1498 00:43:18,750 --> 00:43:18,990 Had you investigated? I started... 1499 00:43:18,990 --> 00:43:20,870 I started finding out... 1500 00:43:20,870 --> 00:43:22,910 In this experimental project, 1501 00:43:22,910 --> 00:43:23,230 In this experimental project, 1502 00:43:23,230 --> 00:43:25,270 we never assumed that every match was going to be successful. 1503 00:43:25,270 --> 00:43:27,310 we never assumed that every match was going to be successful. 1504 00:43:27,310 --> 00:43:27,630 we never assumed that every match was going to be successful. 1505 00:43:27,630 --> 00:43:29,670 Whilst the ultimate goal is for a couple to have a baby together, 1506 00:43:29,670 --> 00:43:31,710 Whilst the ultimate goal is for a couple to have a baby together, 1507 00:43:31,710 --> 00:43:33,150 Whilst the ultimate goal is for a couple to have a baby together, 1508 00:43:33,150 --> 00:43:35,190 if it's not right, then perhaps there will be other options. 1509 00:43:35,190 --> 00:43:37,230 if it's not right, then perhaps there will be other options. 1510 00:43:37,230 --> 00:43:38,510 if it's not right, then perhaps there will be other options. 1511 00:43:38,510 --> 00:43:40,550 So, your plan going forward, you're hopefully going to begin to 1512 00:43:40,550 --> 00:43:42,590 So, your plan going forward, you're hopefully going to begin to 1513 00:43:42,590 --> 00:43:43,590 So, your plan going forward, you're hopefully going to begin to 1514 00:43:43,590 --> 00:43:45,630 investigate potential routes to find a sperm donor in the UK...? 1515 00:43:45,630 --> 00:43:47,670 investigate potential routes to find a sperm donor in the UK...? 1516 00:43:47,670 --> 00:43:49,550 investigate potential routes to find a sperm donor in the UK...? 1517 00:43:49,550 --> 00:43:51,590 Yeah. Yeah, I'm excited, yeah. 1518 00:43:51,590 --> 00:43:51,910 Yeah. Yeah, I'm excited, yeah. 1519 00:43:51,910 --> 00:43:53,070 Good. And positive? 1520 00:43:53,070 --> 00:43:55,110 And positive, yeah, you have to be. Yeah. 1521 00:43:55,110 --> 00:43:56,870 And positive, yeah, you have to be. Yeah. 1522 00:43:56,870 --> 00:43:58,910 The journey to motherhood for me, I'm not sure, 1523 00:43:58,910 --> 00:44:00,310 The journey to motherhood for me, I'm not sure, 1524 00:44:00,310 --> 00:44:02,350 but, you know, I'm sure it's going to be exciting and full of ups 1525 00:44:02,350 --> 00:44:03,990 but, you know, I'm sure it's going to be exciting and full of ups 1526 00:44:03,990 --> 00:44:06,030 and downs, as it is, but I'm sure I'll get there. 1527 00:44:06,030 --> 00:44:06,990 and downs, as it is, but I'm sure I'll get there. 1528 00:44:14,390 --> 00:44:16,430 The last couple remaining in the project are Ian and Sarah. 1529 00:44:16,430 --> 00:44:18,470 The last couple remaining in the project are Ian and Sarah. 1530 00:44:18,470 --> 00:44:18,870 The last couple remaining in the project are Ian and Sarah. 1531 00:44:18,870 --> 00:44:20,510 Hi there. 1532 00:44:20,510 --> 00:44:22,550 Having successfully negotiated the tricky topic of distance, 1533 00:44:22,550 --> 00:44:23,590 Having successfully negotiated the tricky topic of distance, 1534 00:44:23,590 --> 00:44:25,110 their goal is in sight. 1535 00:44:26,190 --> 00:44:28,230 Hi, Sarah... Hello. How you doing? Good to see you. Hi there. 1536 00:44:28,230 --> 00:44:30,030 Hi, Sarah... Hello. How you doing? Good to see you. Hi there. 1537 00:44:33,350 --> 00:44:35,390 Let's talk about how you might try and conceive a child together. 1538 00:44:35,390 --> 00:44:37,430 Let's talk about how you might try and conceive a child together. 1539 00:44:37,430 --> 00:44:37,750 Let's talk about how you might try and conceive a child together. 1540 00:44:37,750 --> 00:44:39,790 I've got hundreds of questions, erm... 1541 00:44:39,790 --> 00:44:40,550 I've got hundreds of questions, erm... 1542 00:44:40,550 --> 00:44:42,590 ..because this is something that's totally new to me, I think. 1543 00:44:42,590 --> 00:44:44,350 ..because this is something that's totally new to me, I think. 1544 00:44:44,350 --> 00:44:46,190 In a selfish way, I thought 1545 00:44:46,190 --> 00:44:48,230 the process was just about the child, you know, how you have 1546 00:44:48,230 --> 00:44:50,110 the process was just about the child, you know, how you have 1547 00:44:50,110 --> 00:44:52,150 a child and how that child's bought up, but it's not. 1548 00:44:52,150 --> 00:44:53,230 a child and how that child's bought up, but it's not. 1549 00:44:53,230 --> 00:44:55,270 The process has taught me that it's about the parents, 1550 00:44:55,270 --> 00:44:56,110 The process has taught me that it's about the parents, 1551 00:44:56,110 --> 00:44:57,950 it's about how the parents get along. 1552 00:44:57,950 --> 00:44:59,990 And I think Sarah would make a great mum, 1553 00:44:59,990 --> 00:45:00,470 And I think Sarah would make a great mum, 1554 00:45:00,470 --> 00:45:02,510 she's got all of the right qualities, 1555 00:45:02,510 --> 00:45:02,950 she's got all of the right qualities, 1556 00:45:02,950 --> 00:45:04,990 and if we could fulfil that dream together, it'd be amazing. 1557 00:45:04,990 --> 00:45:05,390 and if we could fulfil that dream together, it'd be amazing. 1558 00:45:05,390 --> 00:45:07,430 He ticks all of the boxes 1559 00:45:07,430 --> 00:45:07,750 He ticks all of the boxes 1560 00:45:07,750 --> 00:45:09,790 and then some in terms of what I would be looking for in a co-parent. 1561 00:45:09,790 --> 00:45:11,830 and then some in terms of what I would be looking for in a co-parent. 1562 00:45:11,830 --> 00:45:12,910 and then some in terms of what I would be looking for in a co-parent. 1563 00:45:12,910 --> 00:45:14,950 I'm really lucky to have met him. 1564 00:45:14,950 --> 00:45:16,790 I'm really lucky to have met him. 1565 00:45:16,790 --> 00:45:18,830 I'm really pleased that obviously, you've both met... 1566 00:45:18,830 --> 00:45:20,870 I'm really pleased that obviously, you've both met... 1567 00:45:20,870 --> 00:45:21,190 I'm really pleased that obviously, you've both met... 1568 00:45:21,190 --> 00:45:23,230 ..and I'm really happy to hear that the project's worked for you. 1569 00:45:23,230 --> 00:45:24,710 ..and I'm really happy to hear that the project's worked for you. 1570 00:45:24,710 --> 00:45:26,750 Now listen, it's been lovely to see you both, 1571 00:45:26,750 --> 00:45:27,110 Now listen, it's been lovely to see you both, 1572 00:45:27,110 --> 00:45:29,150 so, goodbye for now and good luck! 1573 00:45:29,150 --> 00:45:29,910 so, goodbye for now and good luck! 1574 00:45:29,910 --> 00:45:31,950 Bye now. Thank you. Thank you. Bye. 1575 00:45:31,950 --> 00:45:32,110 Bye now. Thank you. Thank you. Bye. 1576 00:45:34,590 --> 00:45:36,630 The process started with all the science and the surveys 1577 00:45:36,630 --> 00:45:38,350 The process started with all the science and the surveys 1578 00:45:38,350 --> 00:45:40,390 and the questionnaires, but at the end, it's really 1579 00:45:40,390 --> 00:45:41,790 and the questionnaires, but at the end, it's really 1580 00:45:41,790 --> 00:45:43,830 just about two people, and whether or not they feel they are 1581 00:45:43,830 --> 00:45:45,710 just about two people, and whether or not they feel they are 1582 00:45:45,710 --> 00:45:47,750 compatible and able to go forwards, and hopefully have a baby together. 1583 00:45:47,750 --> 00:45:49,190 compatible and able to go forwards, and hopefully have a baby together. 1584 00:45:51,550 --> 00:45:53,590 It does seem that Sarah and Ian might be a success story, 1585 00:45:53,590 --> 00:45:55,150 It does seem that Sarah and Ian might be a success story, 1586 00:45:55,150 --> 00:45:57,190 which is great for both of them. 1587 00:45:57,190 --> 00:45:57,350 which is great for both of them. 1588 00:45:59,390 --> 00:46:01,110 Let's watch this space. 1589 00:46:51,790 --> 00:46:53,830 Subtitles by Red Bee Media 1590 00:46:53,830 --> 00:46:54,950 Subtitles by Red Bee Media 136874