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1
00:00:01,708 --> 00:00:03,332
Previously on
Buffy the vampire slayer...
2
00:00:03,333 --> 00:00:06,457
You two come on in. Thank
you, kind proprietor.
3
00:00:06,458 --> 00:00:08,499
Just don't touch anything.
4
00:00:08,500 --> 00:00:11,833
She still thinks
I'm little miss nobody.
5
00:00:11,834 --> 00:00:13,457
Just her sister.
6
00:00:13,458 --> 00:00:15,249
Boy, is she in for a surprise.
7
00:00:15,250 --> 00:00:17,166
Who are you?
8
00:00:20,583 --> 00:00:23,999
You know Walsh pumped all those chemicals
and crap into us. You got more than anyone.
9
00:00:24,000 --> 00:00:26,457
- I'm taking you to the doctor.
- The one from the government?
10
00:00:26,458 --> 00:00:28,332
The ones who did this
to me in the first place?
11
00:00:28,333 --> 00:00:29,874
All patched up.
12
00:00:29,875 --> 00:00:31,874
How's it going in there?
13
00:00:31,875 --> 00:00:35,166
Good.
Back to normal.
14
00:00:42,625 --> 00:00:44,667
God, I love you so much.
15
00:02:01,000 --> 00:02:03,874
I've always wanted
to kill the slayer.
16
00:02:03,875 --> 00:02:05,999
And I've always
wanted piano lessons.
17
00:02:06,000 --> 00:02:09,041
So, really, who's surprised we
have all this unexpressed rage?
18
00:02:15,208 --> 00:02:19,916
But honestly, I think
I'm expressing mine better.
19
00:02:19,917 --> 00:02:22,458
I'll tell you what.
20
00:02:24,375 --> 00:02:26,333
You find yourself a good
anger management class,
21
00:02:29,708 --> 00:02:31,834
and I'll jam this pokey
wood stick through your heart.
22
00:02:35,834 --> 00:02:39,166
- I think that sets the world speed record for closure.
- Hey.
23
00:02:41,875 --> 00:02:45,332
Miss, if you're lookin' for one of those
rave parties, I'm afraid you're late.
24
00:02:45,333 --> 00:02:47,999
Chased a bunch of kids
out of here last night.
25
00:02:48,000 --> 00:02:50,499
Oh, right. Yeah. Darn.
26
00:02:50,500 --> 00:02:52,916
My fellow ravers
will be so disappointed.
27
00:02:52,917 --> 00:02:55,707
It was my turn
to bring the bundt cake.
28
00:02:55,708 --> 00:02:58,082
You know, if it was my call, I'd
let you do whatever you want.
29
00:02:58,083 --> 00:03:00,207
It's not like anybody's
using this place or nothin'.
30
00:03:00,208 --> 00:03:04,249
They just don't pay me enough
to argue with the boss, so...
31
00:03:04,250 --> 00:03:06,207
Already gone.
Oh, hey. Hold it, miss.
32
00:03:06,208 --> 00:03:10,209
Take your, uh,
whatever this is with ya.
33
00:03:11,875 --> 00:03:15,040
- Thank you.
- Glo balls, huh?
34
00:03:15,041 --> 00:03:17,791
I swear, I don't get
your generation.
35
00:03:17,792 --> 00:03:19,583
What is that thing?
36
00:03:20,834 --> 00:03:24,041
I'll let you know
as soon as I find out.
37
00:04:24,083 --> 00:04:28,499
- Dawn, touch nothing.
- Who died and made you the iron chef?
38
00:04:28,500 --> 00:04:31,958
Look, mom's sick, and I made her a
nice non-instant breakfast for once.
39
00:04:31,959 --> 00:04:34,249
I don't need you...
40
00:04:34,250 --> 00:04:36,708
Oops.
41
00:04:38,208 --> 00:04:40,457
- Doing that.
- Morning, guys.
42
00:04:40,458 --> 00:04:44,207
Oh. Check out
the "pamper mom" platter.
43
00:04:44,208 --> 00:04:46,041
You two do all this?
Oh, Buffy helped.
44
00:04:47,834 --> 00:04:51,290
- Well, I-I didn't help.
- I'm sure you did.
45
00:04:51,291 --> 00:04:55,499
So, neither of you's pregnant,
failing, or under indictment?
46
00:04:55,500 --> 00:04:57,666
Just checking.
47
00:04:57,667 --> 00:05:00,541
We knew you were feeling
less than great, so...
48
00:05:00,542 --> 00:05:04,208
Yeah. The headaches they said would go away
came back and brought some friends along with.
49
00:05:04,209 --> 00:05:06,416
Well, what did the doctor say?
50
00:05:06,417 --> 00:05:09,707
Take four of some pills a day
and come back for tests.
51
00:05:09,708 --> 00:05:12,541
- They don't know what's wrong?
- Well, not yet.
52
00:05:12,542 --> 00:05:15,082
That's unacceptable. I think we
should get a second opinion.
53
00:05:15,083 --> 00:05:17,416
Well, we need a first
opinion first, honey.
54
00:05:17,417 --> 00:05:21,499
- Okay, we'll go right now.
- I know you're concerned, okay?
55
00:05:21,500 --> 00:05:26,040
But don't be. I'm still the mom, which
means I get to worry about you two,
56
00:05:26,041 --> 00:05:29,457
which is a good thing because
you're a vampire slayer,
57
00:05:29,458 --> 00:05:31,833
and you, you are
my little pum'kin belly.
58
00:05:31,834 --> 00:05:35,040
Mom, that's like my kid name.
59
00:05:35,041 --> 00:05:38,582
- So I can't be retro?
- Did you ever have any names for me?
60
00:05:38,583 --> 00:05:42,999
No. I think you were
always just Buffy.
61
00:05:43,000 --> 00:05:46,582
I got some names for ya.
62
00:05:46,583 --> 00:05:50,207
What are you doing hanging around here?
Isn't this giles's big day?
63
00:05:50,208 --> 00:05:52,874
Oh, bigger than big.
It's his grand opening.
64
00:05:52,875 --> 00:05:56,040
So go. Bring me back a...
65
00:05:56,041 --> 00:05:58,124
I don't know... a...
66
00:05:58,125 --> 00:06:00,457
Flying broomstick or something.
67
00:06:00,458 --> 00:06:03,791
Those never really work.
Whatever.
68
00:06:03,792 --> 00:06:07,207
Book club tonight?
Mm-hmm.
69
00:06:07,208 --> 00:06:09,625
You guys have a book club?
70
00:06:12,209 --> 00:06:14,124
Okay, I'm gonna go.
I will be back later.
71
00:06:14,125 --> 00:06:16,332
What time is your
doctor's appointment?
72
00:06:16,333 --> 00:06:19,916
I just want to know.
Take it easy.
73
00:06:19,917 --> 00:06:22,124
I want you to relax all day, keep
your feet up, plenty of Oprah.
74
00:06:22,125 --> 00:06:24,999
Plus, you can check
my rain forest report,
75
00:06:25,000 --> 00:06:27,457
and you know there's, like,
80 badillion old board games...
76
00:06:27,458 --> 00:06:30,166
Hey! You said I couldn't come.
Changed my mind.
77
00:07:02,792 --> 00:07:06,249
I told you you couldn't
ditch me. Whoa.
78
00:07:06,250 --> 00:07:11,208
Mr. giles,
this place is so... wow.
79
00:07:11,209 --> 00:07:13,165
I mean, check out
all the magic junk.
80
00:07:13,166 --> 00:07:16,165
- Our new slogan.
- So when's it open?
81
00:07:16,166 --> 00:07:18,499
You know, for customers?
82
00:07:18,500 --> 00:07:23,874
- Since 9:00 this morning, actually.
- Dawn, go. Browse. And...
83
00:07:23,875 --> 00:07:26,156
You break it, you bought it.
Heard you the first 60 times.
84
00:07:28,083 --> 00:07:30,207
Still, not to worry.
Oh...
85
00:07:30,208 --> 00:07:32,749
I've good feelings
about this place.
86
00:07:32,750 --> 00:07:35,916
Magic's a small niche market,
but, um...
87
00:07:35,917 --> 00:07:38,666
Well, think about it.
Sunnydale.
88
00:07:38,667 --> 00:07:41,749
Monsters.
Supply and demand.
89
00:07:41,750 --> 00:07:44,457
They'll be lining up
around the block in no time.
90
00:07:44,458 --> 00:07:48,166
Yeah. You'll be making money
hand over fist.
91
00:07:53,041 --> 00:07:55,666
Which I guess is a good thing.
92
00:07:55,667 --> 00:07:58,582
You all right?
You seem a little distracted.
93
00:07:58,583 --> 00:08:01,666
It's just my mom's still sick, and
we have no idea what the deal is.
94
00:08:01,667 --> 00:08:04,040
She is getting
medical attention?
95
00:08:04,041 --> 00:08:06,416
Yeah. We have a highly trained
medical staff...
96
00:08:06,417 --> 00:08:08,499
Working around the clock
to tell us diddly.
97
00:08:08,500 --> 00:08:11,374
I'm sorry.
Still, you know,
98
00:08:11,375 --> 00:08:14,375
time and Patience...
Both great comforts.
99
00:08:16,583 --> 00:08:18,707
Giles, where's
your hat and cloak?
100
00:08:18,708 --> 00:08:21,499
Yeah, the hype
was out of control.
101
00:08:21,500 --> 00:08:24,040
Willow, you gotta see this.
102
00:08:24,041 --> 00:08:28,207
They have the coolest talismen...
Mans... talisguys.
103
00:08:28,208 --> 00:08:32,416
Actually, I have a little
Scooby-centric deal to deal with first.
104
00:08:32,417 --> 00:08:35,249
I put this before the group.
105
00:08:35,250 --> 00:08:37,416
What the hell is it?
106
00:08:37,417 --> 00:08:39,374
It appears to be
paranormal in origin.
107
00:08:39,375 --> 00:08:44,332
- How can you tell?
- Well, it's so shiny.
108
00:08:44,333 --> 00:08:47,332
- Found it on patrol.
- May be more where that came from.
109
00:08:47,333 --> 00:08:49,999
I say we go back out
again tonight.
110
00:08:50,000 --> 00:08:51,833
Um, sure.
111
00:08:51,834 --> 00:08:54,416
You can't patrol.
Buffy said.
112
00:08:54,417 --> 00:08:57,165
- No, I didn't.
- Yeah, remember?
113
00:08:57,166 --> 00:08:59,457
You said it'd be easier if you
didn't have to look out for anybody.
114
00:08:59,458 --> 00:09:02,499
- Well, I wasn't talking about Riley.
- Don't worry about it.
115
00:09:02,500 --> 00:09:05,416
Oh, she just said you look even cuter
when you're all weak and kitteny,
116
00:09:05,417 --> 00:09:08,582
and she'd better go solo,
or you'd get hurt.
117
00:09:08,583 --> 00:09:11,542
So, welcome to the club.
She'll never let me go either.
118
00:09:16,458 --> 00:09:18,874
What? What?
119
00:09:18,875 --> 00:09:22,707
Giles, you got that danger
room set up out back?
120
00:09:22,708 --> 00:09:25,416
I'm feelin' the need for a
little physical rehab about now.
121
00:09:25,417 --> 00:09:27,332
Of course. Yes.
If any customers do...
122
00:09:27,333 --> 00:09:31,207
- On it.
- Dawn, we're going.
123
00:09:31,208 --> 00:09:32,792
Buffy, wait.
124
00:09:34,834 --> 00:09:38,208
Go easy on her.
Why?
125
00:09:38,209 --> 00:09:42,833
I can't help it. I just have all
this involuntary empathy for dawn,
126
00:09:42,834 --> 00:09:46,082
'cause she's,
you know, a big spaz.
127
00:09:46,083 --> 00:09:49,499
She's so annoying,
especially now that mom's sick.
128
00:09:49,500 --> 00:09:51,916
She's all over her,
while I have to be the grown-up,
129
00:09:51,917 --> 00:09:54,332
and the two of them
are like the giggle twins,
130
00:09:54,333 --> 00:09:56,708
and why can't I ever be
little pum'kin belly?
131
00:09:58,458 --> 00:10:01,582
While I don't feel qualified
to address the last part,
132
00:10:01,583 --> 00:10:05,249
I can tell you that dawn's
not just the youngest.
133
00:10:05,250 --> 00:10:08,666
She's the baby, and maybe your
mom needs that right now.
134
00:10:08,667 --> 00:10:13,165
Dawn doesn't care what my mom...
135
00:10:13,166 --> 00:10:17,375
You just have no idea how much I wish
I were an only child these days.
136
00:10:20,750 --> 00:10:22,708
Oops.
137
00:10:25,959 --> 00:10:28,457
We can't all be born with big, fancy
"chosen one" reflexes, you know.
138
00:10:28,458 --> 00:10:31,290
- Shh. Mom?
- Mmm.
139
00:10:31,291 --> 00:10:33,290
Mom?
140
00:10:33,291 --> 00:10:36,249
What's wrong?
141
00:10:36,250 --> 00:10:38,374
It's... it's just my head.
142
00:10:38,375 --> 00:10:42,124
- I'm taking you to the doctor.
- No, sweetheart, I'm fine.
143
00:10:42,125 --> 00:10:45,874
We don't know that. We don't know anything.
We're going.
144
00:10:45,875 --> 00:10:47,750
I just need
my prescription. Please?
145
00:10:50,959 --> 00:10:52,916
Hospital pharmacy open?
Mm-hmm.
146
00:10:52,917 --> 00:10:55,792
Ten minutes.
147
00:10:58,750 --> 00:11:00,583
Excuse me.
148
00:11:02,166 --> 00:11:05,707
Hey, it's, uh, Buffy, isn't it?
Uh...
149
00:11:05,708 --> 00:11:08,499
Ben. But you can call me man-nurse.
Everybody else here does.
150
00:11:08,500 --> 00:11:13,416
I don't belong here. I have
important instructions. Fascists!
151
00:11:13,417 --> 00:11:16,040
You're hurting the nice intern
who's here to help you.
152
00:11:16,041 --> 00:11:19,457
I need nine cc's
of phenobarbital in this...
153
00:11:19,458 --> 00:11:24,416
Or not. Let's strap him. It's
for your own good, I promise.
154
00:11:24,417 --> 00:11:26,999
Not to be rampantly sexist
in the workplace,
155
00:11:27,000 --> 00:11:29,374
but you've got some
serious muscles for a girl.
156
00:11:29,375 --> 00:11:32,457
I, um... radioactive spider bite.
157
00:11:32,458 --> 00:11:36,374
How'd you guess? I'm a doctor.
Well, almost.
158
00:11:36,375 --> 00:11:40,499
Doesn't... doesn't even help. Doesn't
make a damn bit of difference!
159
00:11:40,500 --> 00:11:43,624
I-I-I've met this guy.
He's a security guard.
160
00:11:43,625 --> 00:11:46,624
- He's not crazy.
- If you say so.
161
00:11:46,625 --> 00:11:49,332
They're coming at you.
162
00:11:49,333 --> 00:11:51,666
Don't think you're above it,
missy.
163
00:11:51,667 --> 00:11:53,541
They come through the family.
164
00:11:53,542 --> 00:11:56,207
They get to your family.
165
00:11:56,208 --> 00:11:58,666
My family?
What do you mean?
166
00:11:58,667 --> 00:12:01,374
Let's get him to exam one.
Now would be nice.
167
00:12:01,375 --> 00:12:05,082
Your family. Your family!
168
00:12:05,083 --> 00:12:09,457
I'm real sorry about that.
Here.
169
00:12:09,458 --> 00:12:13,165
- For your mom?
- Yeah, thanks.
170
00:12:13,166 --> 00:12:16,332
- She's not feeling better?
- Not yet.
171
00:12:16,333 --> 00:12:18,666
But she... she will be.
172
00:12:18,667 --> 00:12:20,583
I'm starting to
figure out what's wrong.
173
00:13:11,166 --> 00:13:15,583
There you are. I have been
looking all over for you.
174
00:13:24,250 --> 00:13:27,834
Thank you for choosing to shop at the
magic box, and please do come again.
175
00:13:34,458 --> 00:13:36,958
Did you see that? Customers.
Real live customers.
176
00:13:36,959 --> 00:13:38,958
They came in,
and I gave them things,
177
00:13:38,959 --> 00:13:40,958
and they gave me money,
and then they left.
178
00:13:40,959 --> 00:13:43,082
It's brilliant.
179
00:13:43,083 --> 00:13:47,457
Congratulations. You're an
official capitalist running dog.
180
00:13:47,458 --> 00:13:50,833
But I gotta tell ya, on the orbular
front, we're batting zeros.
181
00:13:50,834 --> 00:13:53,332
Well then, we'll just have to keep trying.
Look at this.
182
00:13:53,333 --> 00:13:56,874
If there's anything you
need help with, let me know.
183
00:13:56,875 --> 00:13:59,707
Hmm. Your conjuring powder's
grotesquely overpriced.
184
00:13:59,708 --> 00:14:03,208
Anya...
185
00:14:03,209 --> 00:14:06,290
I'm sorry.
I'm nearly out of money.
186
00:14:06,291 --> 00:14:08,791
I've never had to afford things
before, and it's making me bitter.
187
00:14:08,792 --> 00:14:12,416
The change is palpable.
That stuff doesn't come cheap.
188
00:14:12,417 --> 00:14:14,541
Well, you're getting ripped off.
189
00:14:14,542 --> 00:14:16,742
I could hook you up direct
with the troll that sheds it.
190
00:14:18,875 --> 00:14:22,040
Giles, I have an idea
what's making my mom sick.
191
00:14:22,041 --> 00:14:24,541
Have you spoken with her doctors?
They won't find anything.
192
00:14:24,542 --> 00:14:27,791
What's hurting her...
It's supernatural.
193
00:14:27,792 --> 00:14:29,874
The night watchman
who found this thing...
194
00:14:29,875 --> 00:14:31,750
He went crazy, like overnight.
195
00:14:34,166 --> 00:14:36,707
It won't hurt us.
I had it on me all night.
196
00:14:36,708 --> 00:14:40,582
But this guy... he saw things.
He said things.
197
00:14:40,583 --> 00:14:42,749
Such as?
198
00:14:42,750 --> 00:14:45,249
They'll come at me
through my family.
199
00:14:45,250 --> 00:14:47,791
And, uh... who-who will?
200
00:14:47,792 --> 00:14:49,791
I don't know... yet.
201
00:14:49,792 --> 00:14:52,124
But whatever touched this guy,
202
00:14:52,125 --> 00:14:55,290
it made him see through what
the rest of us are seeing.
203
00:14:55,291 --> 00:14:58,833
He knew someone's hurting my mom,
and they're trying to get to me.
204
00:14:58,834 --> 00:15:02,249
It's possible, but still, uh,
205
00:15:02,250 --> 00:15:04,666
the ramblings of a madman
aren't much to go on.
206
00:15:04,667 --> 00:15:08,208
Yeah, but it's a start. We need to find
out who's making my mom sick and how.
207
00:15:08,209 --> 00:15:10,999
Then what?
208
00:15:11,000 --> 00:15:14,917
Then I hunt them,
find them, and kill them.
209
00:15:18,792 --> 00:15:22,290
You know, when you think
about it, I'm the victim here.
210
00:15:22,291 --> 00:15:25,749
First off...
I don't even want to be here.
211
00:15:25,750 --> 00:15:28,791
And I'm not talking about this room or
this city or this state or this planet.
212
00:15:28,792 --> 00:15:30,999
I'm talking about the whole
mortal coil now, you know?
213
00:15:31,000 --> 00:15:33,999
It's disgusting!
214
00:15:34,000 --> 00:15:39,124
The food. The clothes.
The people.
215
00:15:39,125 --> 00:15:42,457
I could crap a better existence
than this.
216
00:15:42,458 --> 00:15:44,999
But... okay.
217
00:15:45,000 --> 00:15:46,999
And feel free to tell me...
218
00:15:47,000 --> 00:15:48,999
If this next part gets
a little too personal,
219
00:15:49,000 --> 00:15:52,332
because I'm told I have
boundary issues.
220
00:15:52,333 --> 00:15:54,166
But I'm hurt!
221
00:15:56,041 --> 00:16:00,750
Yes. By your incredibly
selfish behavior.
222
00:16:03,125 --> 00:16:05,124
News flash, hairdo.
223
00:16:05,125 --> 00:16:07,000
It's not always about you.
224
00:16:08,250 --> 00:16:11,291
All I want is the key!
225
00:16:13,250 --> 00:16:15,791
Wh... why...
226
00:16:15,792 --> 00:16:18,083
Why can't you tell me
where the key is?
227
00:16:22,209 --> 00:16:23,834
Oh.
228
00:16:27,208 --> 00:16:30,333
Forgive me, monky.
229
00:16:32,208 --> 00:16:35,791
Sometimes I just...
I get so anxious...
230
00:16:35,792 --> 00:16:38,582
Like there's something
deep inside of me,
231
00:16:38,583 --> 00:16:41,874
and it's swelling up,
and it's making me crazy...
232
00:16:41,875 --> 00:16:46,833
That I forget there's all that
duct tape on your face.
233
00:16:46,834 --> 00:16:48,792
Now...
234
00:16:50,375 --> 00:16:52,582
Tell me where...
235
00:16:52,583 --> 00:16:55,083
The key is.
236
00:16:56,792 --> 00:16:59,625
Or I'm going bowling.
237
00:17:02,583 --> 00:17:05,500
It's okay. It's okay. It's okay. The
stutter's sexy. Keep it coming.
238
00:17:17,333 --> 00:17:19,542
Speak American!
239
00:17:20,750 --> 00:17:23,917
I... will tell you...
240
00:17:27,125 --> 00:17:29,041
Nothing.
241
00:17:38,500 --> 00:17:40,875
Fine.
242
00:17:42,708 --> 00:17:44,834
You know what I wish?
243
00:17:46,542 --> 00:17:50,749
I wish that you could feel
what I'm feeling right now.
244
00:17:50,750 --> 00:17:53,750
Lady, whatever you are,
whatever you're on, please...
245
00:17:56,750 --> 00:17:59,500
'cause I don't know how much
more of this I can take.
246
00:18:01,125 --> 00:18:02,875
I... I have a wife.
247
00:18:05,834 --> 00:18:08,034
Her... her name's Jennifer.
We... we have two daughters.
248
00:18:14,458 --> 00:18:18,166
I bet this is fun for you,
isn't it?
249
00:18:18,167 --> 00:18:21,333
Say it.
You like to torture me.
250
00:18:22,708 --> 00:18:25,290
Why? You don't even
own the damn thing.
251
00:18:25,291 --> 00:18:28,249
And I want it, I need it,
and I've gotta have it now.
252
00:18:28,250 --> 00:18:31,499
And you keep refusing
to tell me where the key is!
253
00:18:31,500 --> 00:18:34,416
And it's typical...
It's typical... it's typical...
254
00:18:34,417 --> 00:18:37,874
The whole mortal meatsack comes complete
with stink and bile, sweat and protein...
255
00:18:37,875 --> 00:18:40,749
Yes, I said humans...
Not now! Mommy's talking!
256
00:18:40,750 --> 00:18:44,332
Wriggling, piling, prowling, crawling,
clowning, cavorting, doing it over...
257
00:18:44,333 --> 00:18:47,040
And over and over and over until someone's
gonna sit down on their tuffet...
258
00:18:47,041 --> 00:18:49,083
And make this birthing stop!
259
00:19:08,750 --> 00:19:11,167
That is so much better.
260
00:19:14,250 --> 00:19:17,290
Do you gift wrap?
Do we!
261
00:19:17,291 --> 00:19:21,999
Do we? Oh, we do.
A little help.
262
00:19:22,000 --> 00:19:24,666
No, no, no, uh, g-ground,
uh, cloven hooves...
263
00:19:24,667 --> 00:19:27,165
Are 30% off, um...
264
00:19:27,166 --> 00:19:29,875
The other ones are full price.
265
00:19:31,125 --> 00:19:33,416
That's, um, not candy.
266
00:19:33,417 --> 00:19:35,624
And, Xander?
267
00:19:35,625 --> 00:19:38,082
There's too many of them...
People.
268
00:19:38,083 --> 00:19:40,207
A-a-and they all
seem to want things.
269
00:19:40,208 --> 00:19:42,374
I hear ya.
270
00:19:42,375 --> 00:19:44,750
Stay British.
You'll be okay.
271
00:19:46,417 --> 00:19:48,999
The thousand-yard stare.
272
00:19:49,000 --> 00:19:51,667
Damn, you hate to see it on any
man, but especially in retail.
273
00:19:54,041 --> 00:19:56,874
Please go.
274
00:19:56,875 --> 00:20:00,290
Anya, the shopkeepers
union of America called.
275
00:20:00,291 --> 00:20:04,124
They want me to tell you that "please go"
just got replaced with "have a nice day."
276
00:20:04,125 --> 00:20:07,290
But I have their money. Who cares
what kind of day they have?
277
00:20:07,291 --> 00:20:09,999
No one. It's just
a long cultural tradition...
278
00:20:10,000 --> 00:20:12,124
Of raging insincerity.
279
00:20:12,125 --> 00:20:13,875
Embrace it.
280
00:20:15,208 --> 00:20:17,417
Hey, you!
Have a nice day.
281
00:20:18,542 --> 00:20:20,417
There's my girl!
282
00:20:24,750 --> 00:20:27,999
Did you ever think in a million years
you'd miss the high school library?
283
00:20:28,000 --> 00:20:30,124
Someone put a spell on my mom.
284
00:20:30,125 --> 00:20:32,250
Something to make it
seem like she's sick.
285
00:20:33,583 --> 00:20:36,499
That's a new kinda nasty.
Any suspects?
286
00:20:36,500 --> 00:20:39,166
Well, I've got the list narrowed
down to just under infinity.
287
00:20:43,417 --> 00:20:45,250
Does this look right to you?
288
00:20:47,625 --> 00:20:49,959
Sure. If you wrapped it
with your feet.
289
00:20:53,125 --> 00:20:56,749
You know, Buffy, there used
to be this French sorcerer...
290
00:20:56,750 --> 00:20:59,874
Back in the 16th
I-don't-know-what named, um...
291
00:20:59,875 --> 00:21:02,874
Cloutier. So cute in
his little knickers.
292
00:21:02,875 --> 00:21:04,999
But he had this one spell
demons just hated...
293
00:21:05,000 --> 00:21:07,457
Called tirer la couverture.
294
00:21:07,458 --> 00:21:09,624
Rotate many food stuffs?
295
00:21:09,625 --> 00:21:11,916
Pull the curtain back.
296
00:21:11,917 --> 00:21:15,499
A spell to see spells. Well, a
trance to see spells, actually.
297
00:21:15,500 --> 00:21:18,666
- But you get the idea. Try that.
- What do you mean, "see spells"?
298
00:21:18,667 --> 00:21:21,624
Um, all spells leave
a-a trace signature.
299
00:21:21,625 --> 00:21:25,290
It's just not perceptible
to the human eye. Um...
300
00:21:25,291 --> 00:21:29,165
In this case, it could be the image
of a hand choking your mother.
301
00:21:29,166 --> 00:21:31,290
Or a cloud of mist around her.
302
00:21:31,291 --> 00:21:35,374
Or maybe the shape of the demon
that's performing the spell?
303
00:21:35,375 --> 00:21:37,749
Uh, possible, yes.
304
00:21:37,750 --> 00:21:40,874
Okay. So I'll do what
monsieur silk knickers did.
305
00:21:40,875 --> 00:21:43,958
I'll go home, I'll get trancey, and
I'll see what's affecting my mom.
306
00:21:43,959 --> 00:21:47,082
- I don't know, Buffy. Trances?
- Yes, Buffy,
307
00:21:47,083 --> 00:21:50,833
the sorcerer cloutier
was legendary.
308
00:21:50,834 --> 00:21:54,165
His... his skills at achieving higher
states of consciousness were...
309
00:21:54,166 --> 00:21:57,165
Better than mine?
I knew he was gonna say that.
310
00:21:57,166 --> 00:22:00,332
But I've been practicing concentration
drills. I know I'm close.
311
00:22:00,333 --> 00:22:02,624
- Are you ready?
- It's my mom.
312
00:22:02,625 --> 00:22:05,500
I'll get ready.
What do I need?
313
00:22:07,834 --> 00:22:10,666
Thanks for coming over.
I really appreciate the help.
314
00:22:10,667 --> 00:22:13,290
Sure thing.
So what do I do?
315
00:22:13,291 --> 00:22:16,207
Lots. Tons.
316
00:22:16,208 --> 00:22:18,374
Lots and lots of tons.
317
00:22:18,375 --> 00:22:21,332
This is all kind of...
New terrain?
318
00:22:21,333 --> 00:22:23,416
All prayin', no slayin'.
319
00:22:23,417 --> 00:22:25,999
Okay, so the incense
needs to be ignited,
320
00:22:26,000 --> 00:22:28,707
and... and there's a job.
321
00:22:28,708 --> 00:22:31,582
And this stuff needs to get poured
around me in a circle counterclockwise...
322
00:22:31,583 --> 00:22:34,833
- so you need me to light incense
and pour sand? - Magic incense...
323
00:22:34,834 --> 00:22:37,332
And... and spooky sand.
324
00:22:37,333 --> 00:22:41,249
- And the ritual itself is...
- Something you do alone.
325
00:22:41,250 --> 00:22:44,124
You sure this isn't your way
of trying to make me feel less...
326
00:22:44,125 --> 00:22:46,999
What are the words...
Cute and weak and kittenish?
327
00:22:47,000 --> 00:22:48,833
Kitteny.
328
00:22:48,834 --> 00:22:51,959
Right. Much manlier.
329
00:22:53,041 --> 00:22:55,542
Look, um...
330
00:22:58,333 --> 00:23:01,916
I really am okay.
I know.
331
00:23:01,917 --> 00:23:04,165
So I'm not quite
super guy anymore.
332
00:23:04,166 --> 00:23:07,458
It was borrowed power anyway.
I had to give it back sometime.
333
00:23:08,875 --> 00:23:11,916
I know you can handle yourself.
334
00:23:11,917 --> 00:23:13,708
I just didn't want
to see you get hurt.
335
00:23:15,125 --> 00:23:17,249
Maybe instead of you
trying to take care of me,
336
00:23:17,250 --> 00:23:19,874
we agree to take care
of each other.
337
00:23:19,875 --> 00:23:22,291
Deal?
338
00:23:24,583 --> 00:23:26,707
Done.
339
00:23:26,708 --> 00:23:28,583
Good.
340
00:23:29,750 --> 00:23:32,083
For luck.
Hey.
341
00:23:33,500 --> 00:23:35,959
A girl needs more luck
than that.
342
00:23:41,583 --> 00:23:43,375
Have a nice trip.
343
00:24:18,125 --> 00:24:22,165
What are you doing?
My boyfriend. Go away.
344
00:24:22,166 --> 00:24:24,124
Liar.
Are you doing magic?
345
00:24:24,125 --> 00:24:27,624
- No, I'm not.
- Can I watch?
346
00:24:27,625 --> 00:24:30,374
- No, you can't!
- Oh, come on!
347
00:24:30,375 --> 00:24:34,749
Please! Please, like,
times 10 and cubed! Please?
348
00:24:34,750 --> 00:24:37,624
Oh!
349
00:24:37,625 --> 00:24:40,541
Yeah, well, I can smell your stinky
incense down the hall, you know.
350
00:24:40,542 --> 00:24:43,124
And your clothes are gonna reek.
351
00:24:43,125 --> 00:24:46,082
And if you are doing magic,
I'm so telling.
352
00:24:46,083 --> 00:24:48,249
Fine! Go! Go tell.
353
00:24:48,250 --> 00:24:51,834
Go do whatever you want.
Just go!
354
00:26:31,250 --> 00:26:34,083
- Buffy?
- Mom.
355
00:26:37,875 --> 00:26:40,207
Are you going out?
356
00:26:40,208 --> 00:26:44,082
Either modern medicine's working or I
just took the world's best placebo.
357
00:26:44,083 --> 00:26:46,624
Either way, I'm going out
for a couple hours.
358
00:26:46,625 --> 00:26:49,582
- Nothing.
- Huh?
359
00:26:49,583 --> 00:26:51,667
There's nothing.
360
00:26:53,417 --> 00:26:55,416
Are you sure you're
feeling okay?
361
00:26:55,417 --> 00:26:57,667
You seem a little out of it.
362
00:27:06,375 --> 00:27:08,416
Hey. Buffy.
363
00:27:08,417 --> 00:27:11,374
Oh. Yeah. I'm fine.
364
00:27:11,375 --> 00:27:13,624
Uh, long... long day's all.
365
00:27:13,625 --> 00:27:16,125
You go have a good time.
366
00:27:17,875 --> 00:27:20,209
You're so grown up.
367
00:28:10,875 --> 00:28:13,374
Buffy.
368
00:28:13,375 --> 00:28:15,208
Buffy!
369
00:28:17,708 --> 00:28:20,500
Buffy, who said you could
come in my room?
370
00:28:27,708 --> 00:28:30,375
You're not my sister.
371
00:28:37,875 --> 00:28:40,666
Yeah, like I even want to
be related to your nasty...
372
00:28:40,667 --> 00:28:43,249
Ow! What are you doing?
What are you?
373
00:28:43,250 --> 00:28:45,624
Get off me!
You wanna hurt me?
374
00:28:45,625 --> 00:28:47,791
Let go of me, you freak!
Then you deal with me.
375
00:28:47,792 --> 00:28:51,250
I'm telling mom. You stay
away from my mother.
376
00:29:03,458 --> 00:29:05,874
- What?
- Buffy?
377
00:29:05,875 --> 00:29:08,166
Oh, I'm glad I've caught you.
I think we may have...
378
00:29:08,167 --> 00:29:10,209
Underestimated
what we're dealing with.
379
00:29:12,167 --> 00:29:14,582
- Go on.
- Um, it's...
380
00:29:14,583 --> 00:29:17,999
We've uncovered more than
expected about this... this orb.
381
00:29:18,000 --> 00:29:21,208
Uh, it's, um...
382
00:29:21,209 --> 00:29:23,749
It's called the...
The dagon sphere,
383
00:29:23,750 --> 00:29:26,249
and it has a history
going back many centuries.
384
00:29:26,250 --> 00:29:29,040
What's it do?
It's a protective device...
385
00:29:29,041 --> 00:29:32,833
Used to ward off
ancient primordial evil.
386
00:29:32,834 --> 00:29:37,082
Any word on what this evil looks like?
Unfortunately, no.
387
00:29:37,083 --> 00:29:40,999
This is where accounts get...
Excuse me.
388
00:29:41,000 --> 00:29:43,165
This is where
accounts get vague.
389
00:29:43,166 --> 00:29:47,332
All we've managed
to uncover so far is, um...
390
00:29:47,333 --> 00:29:49,582
Is the dagon sphere
was created to repel...
391
00:29:49,583 --> 00:29:51,624
"That which cannot be named."
392
00:29:51,625 --> 00:29:54,332
I'm gonna go back to the
factory where I found it.
393
00:29:54,333 --> 00:29:58,082
Whoever planted this doohickey's
got answers.
394
00:29:58,083 --> 00:30:01,124
Buffy, you've heard me say this
before, but do be careful.
395
00:30:01,125 --> 00:30:03,833
Anything that goes unnamed is usually
an object of deep worship...
396
00:30:03,834 --> 00:30:05,833
Or great fear... maybe both.
397
00:30:05,834 --> 00:30:08,207
Have you completed the trance?
398
00:30:08,208 --> 00:30:11,040
Seen what's harming your mother?
399
00:30:11,041 --> 00:30:12,916
That's the thing.
400
00:30:12,917 --> 00:30:14,875
I just saw...
401
00:30:15,959 --> 00:30:18,499
Yes?
402
00:30:18,500 --> 00:30:21,375
Nothing.
It didn't work.
403
00:30:24,959 --> 00:30:26,792
What are you talking about?
404
00:30:27,959 --> 00:30:30,917
Slayer stuff.
I'm going out.
405
00:30:32,834 --> 00:30:35,166
Do you really think I care
you're the slayer?
406
00:30:39,208 --> 00:30:41,458
What's that supposed to mean?
407
00:30:44,792 --> 00:30:47,541
I'll be home in an hour.
408
00:30:47,542 --> 00:30:49,624
Mom's coming back.
409
00:30:49,625 --> 00:30:52,041
I'll be back first.
410
00:31:13,375 --> 00:31:15,291
Spike.
411
00:31:16,458 --> 00:31:17,917
Hi, Buffy.
412
00:31:20,125 --> 00:31:21,958
Don't take this
the wrong way, but...
413
00:31:21,959 --> 00:31:23,291
Ow!
414
00:31:24,917 --> 00:31:27,374
What are you doing here?
415
00:31:27,375 --> 00:31:29,500
Look... five words or less.
416
00:31:30,959 --> 00:31:34,040
Out... for... a... walk,
417
00:31:34,041 --> 00:31:36,207
bitch.
418
00:31:36,208 --> 00:31:38,791
Out for a walk at night
by my house.
419
00:31:38,792 --> 00:31:41,082
No one has time
for this, William.
420
00:31:41,083 --> 00:31:44,457
On your merry way then.
421
00:31:44,458 --> 00:31:47,082
You know, contrary to one's
self-involved world view,
422
00:31:47,083 --> 00:31:50,040
your house happens to be
directly between...
423
00:31:50,041 --> 00:31:53,499
Parts... and other parts
of this town.
424
00:31:53,500 --> 00:31:56,249
And I would pass by in the day,
but I feel I'm outgrowing...
425
00:31:56,250 --> 00:31:59,416
My whole
"burst into flame" phase.
426
00:31:59,417 --> 00:32:02,374
Fine. Keep going,
I cut you a break.
427
00:32:02,375 --> 00:32:04,290
Yeah, okay. Let me guess.
You won't kill me?
428
00:32:04,291 --> 00:32:06,541
Ooh!
429
00:32:06,542 --> 00:32:08,791
The whole "crowd-pleasing
threats and swagger" routine.
430
00:32:08,792 --> 00:32:11,874
Outstandingly original. You
know, I'm just passing through.
431
00:32:11,875 --> 00:32:14,541
Satisfied?
432
00:32:14,542 --> 00:32:17,666
You know, I really hope so,
433
00:32:17,667 --> 00:32:20,124
'cause god knows you need
some satisfaction in life...
434
00:32:20,125 --> 00:32:22,207
Besides shagging
captain cardboard.
435
00:32:22,208 --> 00:32:24,874
And... and I never really
liked you anyway,
436
00:32:24,875 --> 00:32:27,625
and... and you have stupid hair.
437
00:33:42,000 --> 00:33:43,959
Buffy?
438
00:33:46,041 --> 00:33:48,000
Girls?
439
00:33:52,792 --> 00:33:55,958
- Where is everybody?
- Hi, mom.
440
00:33:55,959 --> 00:34:00,082
Oh. Dawn.
441
00:34:00,083 --> 00:34:02,165
Where's Buffy? You don't
have to worry about her.
442
00:34:02,166 --> 00:34:04,374
You're probably right.
443
00:34:04,375 --> 00:34:06,624
I mean, it's not like
she's never patrolled before.
444
00:34:06,625 --> 00:34:09,499
Anyway, I was feeling
kind of, uh...
445
00:34:09,500 --> 00:34:11,874
What's the medical term?
Crappy?
446
00:34:11,875 --> 00:34:13,833
So I called off
the big night out.
447
00:34:13,834 --> 00:34:17,208
- Want tea, mom?
- Mmm.
448
00:34:17,209 --> 00:34:19,250
I made it for you.
449
00:34:29,083 --> 00:34:31,332
Whoa.
450
00:34:31,333 --> 00:34:33,416
Hey. It was...
451
00:34:33,417 --> 00:34:36,124
It was you who planted
the dagon sphere, right?
452
00:34:36,125 --> 00:34:37,499
Oh!
453
00:34:37,500 --> 00:34:40,416
I got it.
454
00:34:40,417 --> 00:34:43,541
Don't worry.
I'm stronger than I look.
455
00:34:43,542 --> 00:34:45,624
I've had experience
with stuff like this before.
456
00:34:45,625 --> 00:34:47,708
Best of all,
457
00:34:49,875 --> 00:34:51,458
I'm not stupid.
458
00:35:02,041 --> 00:35:04,000
You sure about that last part?
459
00:35:12,667 --> 00:35:16,707
Would someone please rip
that bloody bell off its hinges?
460
00:35:16,708 --> 00:35:19,624
Would that involve moving?
461
00:35:19,625 --> 00:35:21,916
My feet are numb.
462
00:35:21,917 --> 00:35:25,374
I'll see your numbness, and I'll
raise you a lower-back pain.
463
00:35:25,375 --> 00:35:28,208
I think I liked it better when
demons would just crash in here...
464
00:35:28,209 --> 00:35:30,165
And tear the place apart.
465
00:35:30,166 --> 00:35:33,624
- Just seemed so much simpler.
- You're out of crystal balls.
466
00:35:33,625 --> 00:35:35,541
Those babies are really popular
with the amateurs.
467
00:35:35,542 --> 00:35:40,040
Better restock and raise the price 10%.
Make it 15.
468
00:35:40,041 --> 00:35:43,082
- Anya... - your cash register
looks like squirrels nest in it.
469
00:35:43,083 --> 00:35:45,833
- Anya... - and the hand of glory
packs some serious raw power.
470
00:35:45,834 --> 00:35:48,792
- Better institute a 7-day
background check for... - Anya!
471
00:35:51,667 --> 00:35:54,082
Would you like a job?
472
00:35:54,083 --> 00:35:56,207
Okay.
473
00:35:56,208 --> 00:36:00,707
Good. Then we can
talk shop tomorrow.
474
00:36:00,708 --> 00:36:02,542
Okay,
475
00:36:03,708 --> 00:36:05,542
boss.
476
00:36:07,209 --> 00:36:10,374
Hey, any word from Buffy
on how her spell went?
477
00:36:10,375 --> 00:36:13,249
She said it didn't work.
478
00:36:13,250 --> 00:36:15,290
Now she's off investigating...
479
00:36:15,291 --> 00:36:17,749
Whoever left
the dagon sphere behind.
480
00:36:17,750 --> 00:36:20,874
You're not worried about the
slaymaster general, are you, big "g"?
481
00:36:20,875 --> 00:36:23,208
No, no.
482
00:36:23,209 --> 00:36:25,625
Just hope she isn't
doing anything too rash.
483
00:36:29,291 --> 00:36:31,166
And another thing...
I just want you to know...
484
00:36:33,917 --> 00:36:37,582
This whole "beat ya to
death" thing I'm doin'?
485
00:36:37,583 --> 00:36:39,983
It's valuable time out of life
that I'm never gonna get back.
486
00:36:42,125 --> 00:36:44,040
Wait.
487
00:36:44,041 --> 00:36:46,082
I've always wanted to try this.
You know that thing with worms...
488
00:36:46,083 --> 00:36:49,332
Where if you have one, you rip
it in half, you get two worms?
489
00:36:49,333 --> 00:36:51,458
Do you think
that'll work with you?
490
00:36:53,458 --> 00:36:56,916
You hit me!
What are you, crazy?
491
00:36:56,917 --> 00:36:59,124
You can't go around...
Hitting people.
492
00:36:59,125 --> 00:37:01,417
What, were you...
Born in a barn?
493
00:37:02,583 --> 00:37:04,625
Fine. Be that way.
494
00:37:11,625 --> 00:37:15,165
I just noticed something.
You have super powers.
495
00:37:15,166 --> 00:37:18,999
That is so cool.
Can you fly?
496
00:37:19,000 --> 00:37:20,291
No!
497
00:37:33,041 --> 00:37:35,542
Hey! Hey, hands off
my holy man.
498
00:38:11,458 --> 00:38:13,416
Stop, please.
499
00:38:13,417 --> 00:38:16,083
No. We have
to keep going.
500
00:38:23,917 --> 00:38:26,582
My journey is done, I think.
501
00:38:26,583 --> 00:38:29,165
Don't get metaphory on me.
We're going.
502
00:38:29,166 --> 00:38:33,249
Uh, you have to... the key.
503
00:38:33,250 --> 00:38:36,290
You must protect the key.
504
00:38:36,291 --> 00:38:38,457
Fine. We can protect
the key together, okay?
505
00:38:38,458 --> 00:38:40,833
Just far, far from here.
506
00:38:40,834 --> 00:38:43,416
Many more die...
507
00:38:43,417 --> 00:38:46,082
If you don't keep it safe.
508
00:38:46,083 --> 00:38:48,874
How? What is it?
509
00:38:48,875 --> 00:38:52,457
The key is energy.
510
00:38:52,458 --> 00:38:54,791
It's a portal.
511
00:38:54,792 --> 00:38:57,375
It opens the door.
512
00:38:58,834 --> 00:39:02,375
The... the dagon sphere?
No.
513
00:39:04,166 --> 00:39:08,290
For centuries,
it had no form at all.
514
00:39:08,291 --> 00:39:10,624
My brethren,
515
00:39:10,625 --> 00:39:13,040
its only keepers.
516
00:39:13,041 --> 00:39:16,208
Then... the abomination...
517
00:39:17,500 --> 00:39:19,541
Found us.
518
00:39:19,542 --> 00:39:21,749
We had to hide the key.
519
00:39:21,750 --> 00:39:25,416
Gave it form, molded it flesh,
520
00:39:25,417 --> 00:39:29,166
made it human
and sent it to you.
521
00:39:31,583 --> 00:39:33,417
Dawn.
522
00:39:35,875 --> 00:39:38,041
She's the key.
523
00:39:39,708 --> 00:39:43,040
You put that in my house?
524
00:39:43,041 --> 00:39:46,791
We knew the slayer
would protect.
525
00:39:46,792 --> 00:39:49,457
My memories, my mom's...
526
00:39:49,458 --> 00:39:53,040
- We built them.
- Then unbuild them.
527
00:39:53,041 --> 00:39:55,041
This is my life you're...
528
00:39:58,792 --> 00:40:01,542
You cannot abandon.
529
00:40:03,125 --> 00:40:05,207
I didn't ask for this.
530
00:40:05,208 --> 00:40:08,375
I don't even know... what is she?
531
00:40:09,542 --> 00:40:11,874
Human.
532
00:40:11,875 --> 00:40:15,833
Now human... and helpless.
533
00:40:15,834 --> 00:40:18,208
Please.
534
00:40:19,375 --> 00:40:23,457
She's an innocent in this.
535
00:40:23,458 --> 00:40:25,667
She needs you.
536
00:40:29,417 --> 00:40:31,333
She's not my sister.
537
00:40:33,917 --> 00:40:36,708
She doesn't know that.
538
00:41:06,917 --> 00:41:08,834
You're home.
539
00:41:10,625 --> 00:41:12,583
I wasn't bothering her.
540
00:41:15,583 --> 00:41:17,667
What was that all about?
541
00:41:18,708 --> 00:41:20,667
Nothing.
542
00:41:26,166 --> 00:41:28,000
Sister stuff.
543
00:41:31,333 --> 00:41:33,125
Go away.
544
00:41:38,667 --> 00:41:40,583
I'm sorry.
545
00:41:42,875 --> 00:41:45,959
You hurt my arm.
I know.
546
00:41:47,667 --> 00:41:49,500
Butthole.
547
00:41:52,333 --> 00:41:54,166
Really sorry.
548
00:41:57,375 --> 00:42:00,165
I tell you I have this theory?
549
00:42:00,166 --> 00:42:03,999
It goes where you're the one
who's not my sister,
550
00:42:04,000 --> 00:42:07,082
'cause mom adopted you from a shoe
box full of baby howler monkeys...
551
00:42:07,083 --> 00:42:09,917
And never told you 'cause it could
hurt your delicate baby feelings.
552
00:42:19,959 --> 00:42:21,750
That's your theory?
553
00:42:23,041 --> 00:42:26,708
Explains your fashion sense...
And smell.
554
00:42:29,542 --> 00:42:31,958
I'm sorry, okay?
555
00:42:31,959 --> 00:42:34,207
Broken record, much?
556
00:42:34,208 --> 00:42:36,499
You can't even take an apology.
557
00:42:36,500 --> 00:42:38,625
You always do that, ever sin...
558
00:42:52,792 --> 00:42:54,874
I just had a bad day.
559
00:42:54,875 --> 00:42:57,249
Well, join the club.
560
00:42:57,250 --> 00:42:59,583
Can I be president?
I'm president.
561
00:43:01,250 --> 00:43:04,040
You could be the janitor.
562
00:43:04,041 --> 00:43:05,917
Okay.
563
00:43:21,208 --> 00:43:23,917
Buffy?
Yeah?
564
00:43:25,041 --> 00:43:26,959
What's wrong with mom?
565
00:43:32,083 --> 00:43:34,625
I don't know.
566
00:44:24,209 --> 00:44:26,000
Grr! Arrgh!
42982
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