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1
00:00:01,208 --> 00:00:03,707
Previously on
Buffy the vampire slayer.
2
00:00:03,708 --> 00:00:06,374
Nobody knows who I am.
Not the real me.
3
00:00:06,375 --> 00:00:08,666
No one understands.
4
00:00:08,667 --> 00:00:11,541
No one has an older sister
who's a slayer.
5
00:00:11,542 --> 00:00:15,999
I know it's always been this way.
She's the baby.
6
00:00:16,000 --> 00:00:19,624
But for some reason lately
it's just really getting to me.
7
00:00:19,625 --> 00:00:22,249
Well, yeah.
You're like her idol, Buffy.
8
00:00:22,250 --> 00:00:24,290
What do you think you're doing?
9
00:00:24,291 --> 00:00:26,040
Leave me alone.
10
00:00:26,041 --> 00:00:29,165
I will, after you come back
inside the house. Let go of me!
11
00:00:29,166 --> 00:00:31,750
No, it's not safe out here.
12
00:00:33,750 --> 00:00:35,792
Anya!
13
00:00:38,750 --> 00:00:41,917
This head wound looks bad. I'm
gonna get her to a hospital.
14
00:00:44,959 --> 00:00:47,040
I wish I had something
food-like to offer you guys,
15
00:00:47,041 --> 00:00:50,874
but the hot plate's out of commission.
We think the cat peed on it.
16
00:00:50,875 --> 00:00:54,332
- Aah! Oh!
- I do have spaghettios.
17
00:00:54,333 --> 00:00:58,040
Set 'em on top of the dryer, and you're a
fluff cycle away from lukewarm goodness.
18
00:00:58,041 --> 00:01:00,374
Yeah. I had dryer food
for lunch.
19
00:01:00,375 --> 00:01:04,625
Huh. Guess the folks
are back.
20
00:01:07,417 --> 00:01:11,124
No, no. I was wrong.
Just incompetent burglars.
21
00:01:11,125 --> 00:01:14,290
Like... like I'm gonna listen
to your friends sober?
22
00:01:14,291 --> 00:01:16,541
You are such a pig!
23
00:01:16,542 --> 00:01:19,874
Oh, all right with me.
Yeah, that's great.
24
00:01:19,875 --> 00:01:22,582
Yeah, maybe it's definitely time
to start looking for a new place.
25
00:01:22,583 --> 00:01:25,958
Something a little nicer.
Buffy, you've been to hell.
26
00:01:25,959 --> 00:01:28,874
They had one-bedrooms, right?
27
00:01:28,875 --> 00:01:32,958
Hey, Buffy, how's that book? Full
of zippy dates and zesty names?
28
00:01:32,959 --> 00:01:36,457
I'm fine.
29
00:01:36,458 --> 00:01:41,332
Hey! I'm enjoying the studying.
Who are you lately?
30
00:01:41,333 --> 00:01:43,833
Give it up and watch the movie.
31
00:01:43,834 --> 00:01:46,958
I guess it has been
a long day with the crusades.
32
00:01:46,959 --> 00:01:50,041
I could take a little break from the
violence for some... oh, fighting.
33
00:01:53,583 --> 00:01:57,040
If you really want,
we can fight you as well.
34
00:01:57,041 --> 00:02:00,916
Incompetently dubbed kung fu. Our
most valuable Chinese import.
35
00:02:00,917 --> 00:02:02,749
Much more durable
than their hot plates.
36
00:02:02,750 --> 00:02:05,499
Here.
37
00:02:05,500 --> 00:02:09,249
Just relax.
Mmm.
38
00:02:09,250 --> 00:02:13,332
Mmm, that feels good.
39
00:02:13,333 --> 00:02:16,874
Ow!
40
00:02:16,875 --> 00:02:20,791
What are you doing?
I have a dislocated shoulder!
41
00:02:20,792 --> 00:02:24,249
I'm trying to concentrate
on the kicking movie.
42
00:02:24,250 --> 00:02:26,749
Hey.
Rubbing went away.
43
00:02:26,750 --> 00:02:30,666
Oh. Sorry, I... Got
caught up in the action.
44
00:02:30,667 --> 00:02:32,750
Yeah.
It's pretty good.
45
00:02:34,917 --> 00:02:37,082
Oh, give me a break! Uh!
46
00:02:37,083 --> 00:02:39,499
This is all wrong. See, first
you would get the big guy,
47
00:02:39,500 --> 00:02:42,374
like, a flying kick, then you would take
out all the little ones... bam, bam.
48
00:02:42,375 --> 00:02:47,874
See? Now with the flying kick. From a dead
stop. What's powering it? Raw enthusiasm?
49
00:02:47,875 --> 00:02:50,582
Hey, buff, maybe you oughta leave
the work behind sometimes.
50
00:02:50,583 --> 00:02:52,582
You're not always
on slayer duty, you know?
51
00:02:52,583 --> 00:02:56,332
It would drive you crazy if we
were watching an army movie...
52
00:02:56,333 --> 00:02:58,666
And they were all
saluting backwards...
53
00:02:58,667 --> 00:03:00,999
And invading all Willy-nilly.
54
00:03:01,000 --> 00:03:05,166
Gonna run away, huh? Yeah,
'cause that's what you do best!
55
00:03:08,291 --> 00:03:12,416
Anyway, I mean, you know, you can't
blame me for being critical.
56
00:03:12,417 --> 00:03:15,582
Willow's the same way when we watch a
movie about witches, right, Xander?
57
00:03:15,583 --> 00:03:17,541
What?
58
00:03:17,542 --> 00:03:20,749
Oh, yeah. She's all, like, "what's that?
A cauldron?
59
00:03:20,750 --> 00:03:23,000
Who uses a cauldron
anymore?"
60
00:03:26,208 --> 00:03:29,582
The last step
of my forging is my pain...
61
00:03:29,583 --> 00:03:31,916
The price with which I purchase,
62
00:03:31,917 --> 00:03:34,166
the death of the slayer.
63
00:03:35,208 --> 00:03:37,417
Aah!
64
00:04:36,583 --> 00:04:39,207
If you get the apartment,
this'll be your hallway.
65
00:04:39,208 --> 00:04:42,791
We'll walk down this hall, and we'll say,
"la, la, I'm on my way to Xander's."
66
00:04:42,792 --> 00:04:46,457
Just warning you, Xander. I probably
won't be doing that. Really? I will.
67
00:04:46,458 --> 00:04:50,416
Hey, we're just looking. Rent's way high,
so don't get your hopes all carbonated.
68
00:04:50,417 --> 00:04:52,666
But you have references.
69
00:04:52,667 --> 00:04:55,207
No, I have Albert, which is me
doing an important voice.
70
00:04:55,208 --> 00:04:57,499
Xander Harris?
An excellent tenant...
71
00:04:57,500 --> 00:04:59,792
And a very nice-looking fellow.
72
00:05:01,333 --> 00:05:03,999
Oh... big!
73
00:05:04,000 --> 00:05:06,624
It's nice...
And not subterranean.
74
00:05:06,625 --> 00:05:09,999
It's very above-terranean.
75
00:05:10,000 --> 00:05:13,624
I want it. Pay anything.
76
00:05:13,625 --> 00:05:17,541
Xander Harris?
Uh, no. Riley Finn.
77
00:05:17,542 --> 00:05:20,082
This is Xander.
78
00:05:20,083 --> 00:05:22,332
Hey.
Ah.
79
00:05:22,333 --> 00:05:25,791
I brought my friends.
I see.
80
00:05:25,792 --> 00:05:30,332
They wouldn't always be around.
But we're clean and quiet.
81
00:05:30,333 --> 00:05:32,833
We can have the Scooby
meetings in the living room,
82
00:05:32,834 --> 00:05:35,416
and giles can explain
the boring things over there.
83
00:05:35,417 --> 00:05:37,707
Oh! There's a microwave!
84
00:05:37,708 --> 00:05:40,582
It would be like having
hot and cold running popcorn.
85
00:05:40,583 --> 00:05:43,040
Phone and electricity
are hooked up.
86
00:05:43,041 --> 00:05:46,374
There's a private balcony,
ceiling fan, closet space...
87
00:05:46,375 --> 00:05:48,166
And that's the bedroom.
88
00:05:50,875 --> 00:05:53,166
Guys, you can't
save it for the bedroom?
89
00:05:56,291 --> 00:05:58,875
Okay. Good point.
90
00:06:00,458 --> 00:06:03,666
I brought an application
for you to fill out.
91
00:06:03,667 --> 00:06:07,499
An application? I can't just...
Tell you my references?
92
00:06:07,500 --> 00:06:11,208
Because there's Albert. We run your
credit check based on the application.
93
00:06:11,209 --> 00:06:13,332
Oh! Credit check.
94
00:06:13,333 --> 00:06:18,999
- Little check on the credit.
- See how credible my checks are.
95
00:06:19,000 --> 00:06:22,624
And we'll be asking for first, last,
security and a small cleaning deposit.
96
00:06:22,625 --> 00:06:25,374
The total's at the bottom
of the sheet there.
97
00:06:25,375 --> 00:06:28,833
He'll take it. Xander, go get
the furniture. I'll wait here.
98
00:06:28,834 --> 00:06:31,541
He's been living in his
drunken parents' basement,
99
00:06:31,542 --> 00:06:34,124
where something
urinated on the hot plate.
100
00:06:34,125 --> 00:06:36,165
Uh... can we...
101
00:06:36,166 --> 00:06:38,249
Talk quietly over there?
102
00:06:38,250 --> 00:06:40,208
Excuse us.
103
00:06:44,291 --> 00:06:46,290
Uh, we, um...
104
00:06:46,291 --> 00:06:48,999
Uh, we like the ceiling fan.
Yes.
105
00:06:49,000 --> 00:06:51,624
It's very, you know,
kind of "old south."
106
00:06:51,625 --> 00:06:54,874
But without the unpleasant
slavery associations.
107
00:06:54,875 --> 00:06:57,457
But why can't we have it?
I told you.
108
00:06:57,458 --> 00:07:01,040
My construction job is ending, and I
won't have any more money coming in.
109
00:07:01,041 --> 00:07:03,416
And by the way, you do
have your own place.
110
00:07:03,417 --> 00:07:06,374
So when I wanna visit you, I have
to be in that awful basement?
111
00:07:06,375 --> 00:07:10,707
Not forever. Just until things come
together. Which is when, Xander?
112
00:07:10,708 --> 00:07:13,165
'Cause right now, things are
looking pretty un-together,
113
00:07:13,166 --> 00:07:15,833
and you can't expect me
just to wait around for...
114
00:07:15,834 --> 00:07:18,249
Quiet, please.
Anya, what is this?
115
00:07:18,250 --> 00:07:21,624
What's going on with you?
What's going on with me...
116
00:07:21,625 --> 00:07:26,624
Is my arm hurts, and I'm tired,
and I don't really feel like...
117
00:07:26,625 --> 00:07:29,917
Taking a tour of beautiful
things that I can't have.
118
00:07:35,542 --> 00:07:37,874
I guess I'll just start
on that application.
119
00:07:37,875 --> 00:07:41,834
I think you'll like it. I've been
told I have lovely penmanship.
120
00:07:48,875 --> 00:07:52,082
"Miscellaneous curses."
121
00:07:52,083 --> 00:07:54,165
Brilliant.
122
00:07:54,166 --> 00:07:56,834
Be lucky if I don't curse my
hands off at the wrist. Oh!
123
00:07:58,458 --> 00:08:00,666
The slayer is not here.
124
00:08:00,667 --> 00:08:02,792
Rabbit's foot.
No, wait.
125
00:08:05,375 --> 00:08:09,666
That is a fertility god.
126
00:08:09,667 --> 00:08:12,792
Feeble man. You are not
likely to strike... uhh!
127
00:08:19,250 --> 00:08:22,125
You are not the slayer.
128
00:08:23,458 --> 00:08:25,667
You do not concern me.
129
00:08:30,917 --> 00:08:32,917
Ohh.
130
00:08:34,458 --> 00:08:38,707
Like this... And this... and this.
That thing's pretty heavy.
131
00:08:38,708 --> 00:08:41,082
That's oofdar.
132
00:08:41,083 --> 00:08:44,666
Goddess of childbirth. She's
got some nice heft to her.
133
00:08:44,667 --> 00:08:48,207
Yeah.
How badly did you hurt him?
134
00:08:48,208 --> 00:08:50,707
Well, hurt, um... maybe not hurt.
135
00:08:50,708 --> 00:08:53,332
Well, I-I'm sure
he was startled.
136
00:08:53,333 --> 00:08:56,874
Uh, yes, yes. I'd imagine
it gave him rather a turn.
137
00:08:56,875 --> 00:09:00,624
He ran away, huh?
Um... sort of more, uh...
138
00:09:00,625 --> 00:09:03,499
Turned and swept out
majestically, I suppose.
139
00:09:03,500 --> 00:09:06,124
He said I didn't concern him.
140
00:09:06,125 --> 00:09:09,040
So a mythic triumph over a
completely indifferent foe.
141
00:09:09,041 --> 00:09:13,208
Well, I'm not dead or unconscious,
so I say bravo for me.
142
00:09:13,209 --> 00:09:15,667
Some good demons in this one.
See if your guy's in here.
143
00:09:17,500 --> 00:09:23,165
So you bought the magic shop, and
you were attacked before it opened.
144
00:09:23,166 --> 00:09:26,166
Who's up for a swingin' chorus of
the "we told you so" symphony?
145
00:09:26,167 --> 00:09:28,624
Owning this place
does seem kind of dangerous.
146
00:09:28,625 --> 00:09:31,416
Toth.
What?
147
00:09:31,417 --> 00:09:35,124
He called you a toth. It's a British
expression. It means, like, moron.
148
00:09:35,125 --> 00:09:38,834
No. Toth is the name
of the demon.
149
00:09:40,417 --> 00:09:43,040
Be careful with that.
150
00:09:43,041 --> 00:09:47,916
Ancient demon. Very strong. Last
survivor of the tothric clan.
151
00:09:47,917 --> 00:09:50,874
It also says that for a demon,
he's unusually sophisticated.
152
00:09:50,875 --> 00:09:55,249
Sophisticated. So I should discuss men's
fashions with him before I chop his head off?
153
00:09:55,250 --> 00:09:59,666
They're referring to the fact that
he does not fight barehanded.
154
00:09:59,667 --> 00:10:05,416
He uses tools, devices. Oh, he's
also supposed to be very focused.
155
00:10:05,417 --> 00:10:09,457
And since he mentioned the slayer,
I think we know what the focus is.
156
00:10:09,458 --> 00:10:12,999
He mentioned Buffy? Where do we find
him, and how hard can I kill him?
157
00:10:13,000 --> 00:10:18,416
Well, there's no mention of the types
of places he might frequent, but...
158
00:10:18,417 --> 00:10:21,374
I have an idea.
159
00:10:21,375 --> 00:10:25,332
He had a very specific
olfactory presence.
160
00:10:25,333 --> 00:10:29,666
Well, I guess we're off to the old factory.
I hate that place.
161
00:10:29,667 --> 00:10:35,040
I'm joking. I know what it means.
He smelled. Right?
162
00:10:35,041 --> 00:10:39,499
Some demon rituals
involve anointing with oils.
163
00:10:39,500 --> 00:10:42,332
Was it sort of sandalwoody?
164
00:10:42,333 --> 00:10:46,457
Um... not even remotely.
But he was very, um...
165
00:10:46,458 --> 00:10:48,417
Distinctive.
166
00:10:53,500 --> 00:10:58,207
The city dump, where smells go
to relax and be themselves.
167
00:10:58,208 --> 00:11:02,165
People say they're recycling.
They're not recycling.
168
00:11:02,166 --> 00:11:04,332
I found a spell so you
can't smell anything,
169
00:11:04,333 --> 00:11:07,834
but it does it by taking
your nose off, so, no.
170
00:11:13,000 --> 00:11:15,416
What are you doing here, spike?
171
00:11:15,417 --> 00:11:19,916
Oh, there's a nice lady vampire
who set up a charming tearoom...
172
00:11:19,917 --> 00:11:22,165
Over the next pile of crap.
173
00:11:22,166 --> 00:11:25,874
What do you think I'm doing?
I'm scavenging, ain't I?
174
00:11:25,875 --> 00:11:29,874
- Very pretty.
- Spike, um,
175
00:11:29,875 --> 00:11:33,457
we're looking for a demon, um...
Tall, robed,
176
00:11:33,458 --> 00:11:36,874
skin sort of hanging
off, deep voice.
177
00:11:36,875 --> 00:11:39,542
You mean a great, tall
robey thing like that one?
178
00:11:44,750 --> 00:11:47,458
Take cover!
Big guy! Kick her ass!
179
00:11:50,458 --> 00:11:54,666
Oh, very nice!
I was on your side!
180
00:11:54,667 --> 00:11:56,250
- Watch out!
- Uhh!
181
00:11:59,542 --> 00:12:03,207
Hey, you okay?
182
00:12:03,208 --> 00:12:05,624
Buffy, he's gone.
183
00:12:05,625 --> 00:12:07,583
I'm fine.
Easy. Easy.
184
00:12:09,917 --> 00:12:12,041
He disappeared.
185
00:12:15,708 --> 00:12:17,916
That had to hurt.
Yeah, yeah.
186
00:12:17,917 --> 00:12:20,000
Take it slowly.
187
00:12:53,542 --> 00:12:57,583
Anya... Are you trying to
use the hot plate again?
188
00:13:06,875 --> 00:13:09,083
Uh-oh.
189
00:13:24,250 --> 00:13:28,124
Anya? An?
190
00:13:28,125 --> 00:13:31,125
Oh!
191
00:13:43,583 --> 00:13:46,041
Oh, my god!
192
00:13:48,041 --> 00:13:53,290
What? No way! Who is...
193
00:13:53,291 --> 00:13:57,958
Me? What am I doin'
in there? Buffy.
194
00:13:57,959 --> 00:14:02,124
Need Buffy. Huh!
195
00:14:02,125 --> 00:14:06,249
No, it ate my quarter.
Uh-huh.
196
00:14:06,250 --> 00:14:08,874
But, see, I'm sort of having
this aggressively bad day.
197
00:14:08,875 --> 00:14:12,457
Ooh! I found a quarter.
I found a quarter.
198
00:14:12,458 --> 00:14:15,583
Well, ma'am, for me, it is
worth getting excited about.
199
00:14:20,125 --> 00:14:24,500
Come on, Buffy.
200
00:14:28,959 --> 00:14:31,125
Hello?
201
00:14:34,208 --> 00:14:36,833
They hung up.
202
00:14:36,834 --> 00:14:40,582
Well, if this guy
wants to fight with weapons,
203
00:14:40,583 --> 00:14:44,707
I've got it covered from
"a" to "z"... from ax to...
204
00:14:44,708 --> 00:14:46,667
Zee other ax.
205
00:14:48,917 --> 00:14:51,332
Relax.
206
00:14:51,333 --> 00:14:53,791
Another day, another demon.
207
00:14:53,792 --> 00:14:56,374
Right.
It'll be good.
208
00:14:56,375 --> 00:14:58,458
Hey...
209
00:15:09,375 --> 00:15:11,707
My friend Sharon's older brother
knows a girl who died...
210
00:15:11,708 --> 00:15:14,374
'Cause she choked
on her boyfriend's tongue.
211
00:15:14,375 --> 00:15:17,874
Go away, dawn.
I'm not in your room.
212
00:15:17,875 --> 00:15:19,999
I'm in the hallway. The hallway
doesn't belong to you.
213
00:15:20,000 --> 00:15:22,249
Get out of here.
214
00:15:22,250 --> 00:15:25,416
Mom, I can stand
in the hallway, right?
215
00:15:25,417 --> 00:15:27,457
She's watching us
like a big freak!
216
00:15:27,458 --> 00:15:30,290
Uh! This must be my "two teenage
girls in the house" headache.
217
00:15:30,291 --> 00:15:32,374
I thought it felt familiar.
218
00:15:32,375 --> 00:15:34,999
Good work, dawn.
You gave her a headache.
219
00:15:35,000 --> 00:15:37,666
I did not. Did I give
you a headache, mom?
220
00:15:37,667 --> 00:15:41,416
I'm sure part of it is Buffy's.
But part of it is dawn's.
221
00:15:41,417 --> 00:15:43,624
It's so nice you've
learned to share.
222
00:15:43,625 --> 00:15:46,250
You girls sort this out yourselves.
It's good for you.
223
00:15:48,625 --> 00:15:51,457
She didn't say
I couldn't stand here. Hmm!
224
00:15:51,458 --> 00:15:52,542
Ow!
225
00:16:14,875 --> 00:16:17,750
Very posh.
226
00:16:28,166 --> 00:16:30,874
Oh, slayer.
227
00:16:30,875 --> 00:16:33,291
One of these days.
228
00:16:58,333 --> 00:17:01,290
Hey, Harris. Harris!
229
00:17:01,291 --> 00:17:04,207
Harris. Sorry. Yeah.
230
00:17:04,208 --> 00:17:07,791
In my trailer, okay? I'm talking to all
the guys today. The job's winding down.
231
00:17:07,792 --> 00:17:10,250
Right.
I'll be right there.
232
00:17:17,708 --> 00:17:21,375
Welcome to payback,
Mr. evil-plan face-stealer.
233
00:17:22,917 --> 00:17:26,667
You take my life? You get my
being fired absolutely free!
234
00:17:32,208 --> 00:17:36,209
Harris.
Where's your hard hat?
235
00:17:38,083 --> 00:17:40,417
Sit down.
236
00:17:48,959 --> 00:17:53,499
How long you work here, Harris?
Huh? I'm not sure.
237
00:17:53,500 --> 00:17:56,041
About three months?
I guess. Yeah.
238
00:18:05,375 --> 00:18:09,124
And you haven't done much construction
work before this. Is that right?
239
00:18:09,125 --> 00:18:11,833
I knew they were gonna
notice that!
240
00:18:11,834 --> 00:18:14,582
I have to tell you,
that's surprising,
241
00:18:14,583 --> 00:18:16,999
'cause your work here
has been first-rate.
242
00:18:17,000 --> 00:18:20,040
We have another job lined up in
Carlton when you finish here.
243
00:18:20,041 --> 00:18:22,707
You ever think about
staying on full-time?
244
00:18:22,708 --> 00:18:27,124
What? Why isn't he
firing me... him?
245
00:18:27,125 --> 00:18:30,999
I was thinking that I'd have you
head up our interior carpentry crew.
246
00:18:31,000 --> 00:18:36,249
See how it goes. It's more
responsibility, but the pay is better.
247
00:18:36,250 --> 00:18:40,541
That would be great.
A promotion? But I...
248
00:18:40,542 --> 00:18:43,209
I mean, he didn't... doesn't
he see the shiny thing?
249
00:18:45,667 --> 00:18:50,208
Congratulations, Harris. You and your
girl should go out and celebrate.
250
00:18:50,209 --> 00:18:52,041
I already have an idea how.
251
00:18:54,583 --> 00:18:56,916
I was going to call
you, Mr. Harris,
252
00:18:56,917 --> 00:18:59,332
let you know your credit
checked out fine,
253
00:18:59,333 --> 00:19:01,499
but I really didn't
think you'd be back.
254
00:19:01,500 --> 00:19:04,165
"Mr. Harris"?
Yeah, right.
255
00:19:04,166 --> 00:19:06,833
I'm sure you'll
like the building.
256
00:19:06,834 --> 00:19:09,582
I think someone said you're currently
in your parents' basement?
257
00:19:09,583 --> 00:19:13,416
Right. There comes a point where
you either have to move on,
258
00:19:13,417 --> 00:19:16,750
or just buy yourself a klingon
costume and go with it.
259
00:19:19,208 --> 00:19:21,457
Well...
260
00:19:21,458 --> 00:19:23,666
I hope you'll be happy here, Mr.
Harris.
261
00:19:23,667 --> 00:19:27,290
We're certainly happy to have you.
Thank you.
262
00:19:27,291 --> 00:19:30,040
And if you need anything,
263
00:19:30,041 --> 00:19:33,542
day or night, please call me.
264
00:19:34,834 --> 00:19:37,999
I, um... I'm leaving
my home number here.
265
00:19:38,000 --> 00:19:40,999
She's coming on to him... me.
266
00:19:41,000 --> 00:19:43,165
Call me...
267
00:19:43,166 --> 00:19:46,165
Even for, you know,
268
00:19:46,166 --> 00:19:48,624
non-business stuff.
269
00:19:48,625 --> 00:19:52,332
Maybe we could,
uh, do something?
270
00:19:52,333 --> 00:19:54,374
Please, lady.
That is so not me.
271
00:19:54,375 --> 00:19:58,041
He's too clean for one thing, and
his socks are all matchy, and...
272
00:20:00,000 --> 00:20:02,750
Remember... anytime.
273
00:20:11,333 --> 00:20:14,499
Anya, you there?
274
00:20:14,500 --> 00:20:17,999
Look, I know you're still mad, but I
figure you're probably sittin' there...
275
00:20:18,000 --> 00:20:21,040
Pretending you're not home but
listening anyway. Am not.
276
00:20:21,041 --> 00:20:25,207
Look, I have something to show you.
Meet me at the apartment.
277
00:20:25,208 --> 00:20:27,917
You know the one. 9:00.
278
00:20:39,959 --> 00:20:41,834
Yaaah!
279
00:20:48,542 --> 00:20:52,124
- Won't let you do this!
- What's going on out there?
280
00:20:52,125 --> 00:20:54,583
You can't do this to me!
281
00:20:57,333 --> 00:20:59,542
Oh, man.
I need Buffy.
282
00:21:05,750 --> 00:21:09,332
No, no. He looked
exactly like me.
283
00:21:09,333 --> 00:21:13,666
It stole my face. We have to
find it, and we have to kill it.
284
00:21:13,667 --> 00:21:18,249
She sees it's not me.
285
00:21:18,250 --> 00:21:21,082
Please, Buffy.
Resist his spell.
286
00:21:21,083 --> 00:21:23,834
Do this for me.
287
00:21:25,458 --> 00:21:28,833
Don't worry, Xander.
Whatever stole your face,
288
00:21:28,834 --> 00:21:31,792
it has to deal with
the slayer now.
289
00:21:54,083 --> 00:21:58,791
Don't be scared, wil. Just listen.
It's me, Xander.
290
00:21:58,792 --> 00:22:03,000
And I can prove it.
Um... okay.
291
00:22:04,041 --> 00:22:08,124
Let's see. Stuff only
you and me know.
292
00:22:08,125 --> 00:22:11,833
Okay! On my seventh birthday,
I wanted a toy fire truck,
293
00:22:11,834 --> 00:22:14,499
and I didn't get it, and you
were real nice about it,
294
00:22:14,500 --> 00:22:17,082
and then the house next door burnt
down, and then real fire trucks came,
295
00:22:17,083 --> 00:22:19,541
and for years I thought
you set the fire for me.
296
00:22:19,542 --> 00:22:22,000
And if you did, you can tell me.
297
00:22:23,667 --> 00:22:26,666
For a while last year, I thought
I was lactose intolerant,
298
00:22:26,667 --> 00:22:29,749
but it was just some bad brie.
299
00:22:29,750 --> 00:22:32,666
Oh! Every Christmas we watch
Charlie brown together,
300
00:22:32,667 --> 00:22:35,125
and I do the snoopy dance.
301
00:22:41,375 --> 00:22:43,707
Xander, stop dancing.
302
00:22:43,708 --> 00:22:47,582
Aha! You called me Xander!
303
00:22:47,583 --> 00:22:51,249
Xander, shut up. Why wouldn't
I think you were Xander?
304
00:22:51,250 --> 00:22:53,582
Oh. Huh.
305
00:22:53,583 --> 00:22:56,041
What's goin' on?
306
00:22:57,500 --> 00:23:00,541
Okay. I woke up
in the dump this morning.
307
00:23:00,542 --> 00:23:02,707
Xander, the basement
isn't a dump.
308
00:23:02,708 --> 00:23:05,457
It-it's more like
a really nice hovel.
309
00:23:05,458 --> 00:23:09,207
No. The dump.
The city dump.
310
00:23:09,208 --> 00:23:14,082
I got hit last night. Fall down, boom.
Woke up this morning.
311
00:23:14,083 --> 00:23:19,124
Uh-uh. We walked you home
last night, remember?
312
00:23:19,125 --> 00:23:21,290
You walked?
313
00:23:21,291 --> 00:23:24,332
Wil... did I do
anything weird?
314
00:23:24,333 --> 00:23:26,624
Did I wave any
shiny things around?
315
00:23:26,625 --> 00:23:28,958
Shiny things.
What are you talking about?
316
00:23:28,959 --> 00:23:31,707
Last night.
That wasn't me.
317
00:23:31,708 --> 00:23:34,040
There's a double out there.
318
00:23:34,041 --> 00:23:37,124
Some... thing
has stolen my face,
319
00:23:37,125 --> 00:23:39,958
and it's going around pretending to
be me, and it's hypnotizing people.
320
00:23:39,959 --> 00:23:43,249
It even got to Buffy
and giles and Riley.
321
00:23:43,250 --> 00:23:45,791
It's over there right now,
and they have no idea.
322
00:23:45,792 --> 00:23:49,624
What's intriguing me is that
there are a number of demons...
323
00:23:49,625 --> 00:23:51,749
With the ability
to mimic a simple form,
324
00:23:51,750 --> 00:23:54,833
but, uh... this sounds
like more than that.
325
00:23:54,834 --> 00:23:57,666
Hold up. Do we really have
to figure out what it is?
326
00:23:57,667 --> 00:24:01,082
Let's just go kill it. Yeah.
When the imposter's killed,
327
00:24:01,083 --> 00:24:05,916
the body'll probably turn back into
whatever it really is, and then we'll know.
328
00:24:05,917 --> 00:24:09,209
Toth. The demon with
the creepy stick thing.
329
00:24:10,792 --> 00:24:12,749
Toth.
It's gotta be.
330
00:24:12,750 --> 00:24:16,582
He hit Xander with that blast, and somehow
it allowed him to take Xander's form.
331
00:24:16,583 --> 00:24:18,999
Couldn't that be what the
creepy stick thing did?
332
00:24:19,000 --> 00:24:22,374
Yes. I suppose.
Yes. Yes, it makes sense.
333
00:24:22,375 --> 00:24:27,165
A shape-shifting device. It does
make sense. It must be toth.
334
00:24:27,166 --> 00:24:30,582
It's a robot. It's an evil robot
constructed from evil parts...
335
00:24:30,583 --> 00:24:33,624
That look like me,
designed to do evil.
336
00:24:33,625 --> 00:24:35,791
Uh-huh.
Or it's toth.
337
00:24:35,792 --> 00:24:38,082
Or... it's toth!
338
00:24:38,083 --> 00:24:40,749
I was gonna look
for toth anyway.
339
00:24:40,750 --> 00:24:43,541
Guess now I start
looking for you.
340
00:24:43,542 --> 00:24:47,332
Should I go with you? I told
Anya to meet me at my new place.
341
00:24:47,333 --> 00:24:50,374
I'd feel a whole lot better knowing
she's safe from this creep.
342
00:24:50,375 --> 00:24:54,416
Go be with her. I mean, if you were out
there looking for the double too...
343
00:24:54,417 --> 00:24:58,582
Let's just say that I wouldn't wanna
run into you and kill the wrong one.
344
00:24:58,583 --> 00:25:01,457
Good thinking. When you kill this
thing, you'd better make sure...
345
00:25:01,458 --> 00:25:04,499
You got the one who's
actually... a demon.
346
00:25:04,500 --> 00:25:07,624
A demon has taken
my life from me,
347
00:25:07,625 --> 00:25:09,791
and he's living it
better than I do.
348
00:25:09,792 --> 00:25:13,040
Uh... well,
we're working on it.
349
00:25:13,041 --> 00:25:17,082
There has to be a way to get
to Buffy to un-hypnotize her.
350
00:25:17,083 --> 00:25:19,666
I'll find a spell
to snap her out of it.
351
00:25:19,667 --> 00:25:22,083
Right. Whatever.
352
00:25:23,542 --> 00:25:25,999
Xander, you sound a little...
353
00:25:26,000 --> 00:25:28,541
You have to help me
figure this out, you know.
354
00:25:28,542 --> 00:25:32,082
But I never help. I get in
trouble, and Buffy saves me.
355
00:25:32,083 --> 00:25:35,792
That's not true. Sometimes
we all help to save you.
356
00:25:37,458 --> 00:25:39,834
And sometimes
you're not in trouble.
357
00:25:42,875 --> 00:25:46,374
I'm just... Another
great humiliation.
358
00:25:46,375 --> 00:25:49,749
And this time, it's even worse.
359
00:25:49,750 --> 00:25:53,541
This demon, he's, like, taking my
life, and everyone's treating him...
360
00:25:53,542 --> 00:25:56,040
Everyone's treating
him like a grown-up.
361
00:25:56,041 --> 00:26:00,541
Wil, I'm starting to
feel like... like what?
362
00:26:00,542 --> 00:26:03,833
Like... he's doing
everything better.
363
00:26:03,834 --> 00:26:07,165
He's smarter, and...
364
00:26:07,166 --> 00:26:09,707
I don't know. Maybe I should
just let him have it.
365
00:26:09,708 --> 00:26:12,707
Take my life, please.
Xander, no!
366
00:26:12,708 --> 00:26:16,874
You're just tired and all soggy.
367
00:26:16,875 --> 00:26:22,040
That's why it seems so hard, but you can't
let him just take your whole existence.
368
00:26:22,041 --> 00:26:25,457
Why not? It's not like I was
doing anything so great with it.
369
00:26:25,458 --> 00:26:28,040
Hen I get to he pearly gates,
'm sure the guy's not gonna go,
370
00:26:28,041 --> 00:26:31,124
"hey, what a kick-ass comic
book collection. Come on in!"
371
00:26:31,125 --> 00:26:34,290
What have I got
that's even worth...
372
00:26:34,291 --> 00:26:36,249
Anya.
373
00:26:36,250 --> 00:26:40,499
You think he's after her?
She won't know. He can just...
374
00:26:40,500 --> 00:26:42,624
No. No way!
375
00:26:42,625 --> 00:26:45,749
No way. He can take anything, but
he can't have her! I need her!
376
00:26:45,750 --> 00:26:49,082
Really? He could be
with her right now.
377
00:26:49,083 --> 00:26:51,541
Figure out a spell,
something... "Revealy."
378
00:26:51,542 --> 00:26:54,249
I gotta find her.
Xander,
379
00:26:54,250 --> 00:26:57,165
you already knew he was
taking over your life,
380
00:26:57,166 --> 00:26:59,749
and you didn't think about
Anya till just now?
381
00:26:59,750 --> 00:27:03,417
Hey, wait till you have an evil twin.
See how you handle it.
382
00:27:05,500 --> 00:27:09,458
I handled it fine.
383
00:27:11,750 --> 00:27:15,083
Anya? An?
384
00:27:20,792 --> 00:27:25,291
Meet me at the apartment.
You know the one. 9:00.
385
00:27:33,500 --> 00:27:37,082
It's gotta be here.
Where is it?
386
00:27:37,083 --> 00:27:40,833
You're lying.
It's a trick.
387
00:27:40,834 --> 00:27:43,500
No. Trust me.
388
00:27:45,375 --> 00:27:49,749
You really got this apartment?
I really did.
389
00:27:49,750 --> 00:27:52,040
And do you know why?
390
00:27:52,041 --> 00:27:55,040
The ceiling fans?
They're very attractive.
391
00:27:55,041 --> 00:27:59,541
No. It's because
I knew you wanted it.
392
00:27:59,542 --> 00:28:01,542
It's all for you.
393
00:28:07,417 --> 00:28:12,624
Anya, you didn't see me today, did you?
I mean, we didn't talk?
394
00:28:12,625 --> 00:28:17,332
What do you mean? I just got
your phone message. That's all.
395
00:28:17,333 --> 00:28:19,834
Good.
396
00:28:23,667 --> 00:28:25,875
So...
397
00:28:27,708 --> 00:28:30,707
What happens next?
398
00:28:30,708 --> 00:28:34,374
Well, at some point,
we take off our clothes.
399
00:28:34,375 --> 00:28:38,000
I mean, what happens
next in our lives?
400
00:28:39,166 --> 00:28:42,249
When do we get a car?
A car?
401
00:28:42,250 --> 00:28:44,999
And a boat. No, wait.
I don't mean a boat.
402
00:28:45,000 --> 00:28:48,499
I mean, a puppy or a child.
I have a list somewhere.
403
00:28:48,500 --> 00:28:51,999
What are you talking about?
Just, we have to get going.
404
00:28:52,000 --> 00:28:54,290
I don't have time just to
let these things happen.
405
00:28:54,291 --> 00:28:57,457
There's no hurry.
Yes, there is!
406
00:28:57,458 --> 00:29:00,874
There's a hurry, Xander.
407
00:29:00,875 --> 00:29:03,249
I'm dying.
408
00:29:03,250 --> 00:29:05,874
I may have as few
as 50 years left.
409
00:29:05,875 --> 00:29:09,125
Fifty years?
What is this?
410
00:29:10,208 --> 00:29:14,542
Oh, wait a minute.
This is about this.
411
00:29:15,458 --> 00:29:18,207
What about the sling?
412
00:29:18,208 --> 00:29:21,625
You haven't been hurt like
this since you became human.
413
00:29:23,542 --> 00:29:26,041
Maybe it's finally hitting
you what being human means.
414
00:29:28,333 --> 00:29:33,082
No. That's not it.
Yes. I think it is.
415
00:29:33,083 --> 00:29:36,249
You were gonna live for
thousands of years.
416
00:29:36,250 --> 00:29:38,542
And now you're gonna
age and die.
417
00:29:41,417 --> 00:29:43,791
That must be terrifying.
418
00:29:43,792 --> 00:29:45,999
You don't understand
what it's like.
419
00:29:46,000 --> 00:29:48,499
Being suddenly human?
420
00:29:48,500 --> 00:29:51,000
I think I can get
what that would be like.
421
00:29:52,375 --> 00:29:55,290
And we can get
through it together.
422
00:29:55,291 --> 00:29:59,749
You can't make it any different.
I'm going to get old.
423
00:29:59,750 --> 00:30:05,082
And you can't promise you'll be with me when
I'm wrinkly and my teeth are artificial...
424
00:30:05,083 --> 00:30:07,874
And stuck into my wrinkly mouth
with an adhesive.
425
00:30:07,875 --> 00:30:10,457
No, I can't promise that.
426
00:30:10,458 --> 00:30:13,542
But it doesn't sound terrible,
and that's saying something.
427
00:30:15,500 --> 00:30:17,499
I promise you, Anya.
428
00:30:17,500 --> 00:30:20,708
Very soon, you won't be
thinking about getting older.
429
00:30:27,083 --> 00:30:30,749
Get away from her!
Xander!
430
00:30:30,750 --> 00:30:33,041
Xander?
Get out.
431
00:30:34,166 --> 00:30:37,583
You don't belong here.
Anya, it's me.
432
00:30:39,083 --> 00:30:42,165
It's a demon.
433
00:30:42,166 --> 00:30:45,542
He stole my face. He's
trying to trick you.
434
00:30:48,083 --> 00:30:50,417
Anya, you know I'm me, right?
No!
435
00:30:53,875 --> 00:30:56,999
What is it?
Make it go away.
436
00:30:57,000 --> 00:30:59,582
So you're thinking we split up?
Yeah.
437
00:30:59,583 --> 00:31:02,040
You check the places where he might
try and go and blend in as Xander.
438
00:31:02,041 --> 00:31:04,499
I'll check the places where
toth might hang out.
439
00:31:04,500 --> 00:31:07,040
I swear, this time
I know I had that locked.
440
00:31:07,041 --> 00:31:10,457
Buffy, toth looks like Xander. We
already know. We're on our way.
441
00:31:10,458 --> 00:31:13,040
Wait a second. How did
you know about this?
442
00:31:13,041 --> 00:31:15,416
He came to me.
I mean, Xander did.
443
00:31:15,417 --> 00:31:17,833
And he's in terrible shape.
We need to help him.
444
00:31:17,834 --> 00:31:19,916
He came to us too.
445
00:31:19,917 --> 00:31:23,082
No. We each had a Xander. I
mean, you didn't have a Xander.
446
00:31:23,083 --> 00:31:25,666
You had a demon
in a Xander suit.
447
00:31:25,667 --> 00:31:28,999
What makes you so sure
that yours is the right one?
448
00:31:29,000 --> 00:31:33,124
He knew stuff. He did the snoopy dance.
Buffy, it was Xander, and he needs us.
449
00:31:33,125 --> 00:31:35,374
- Oh, dear lord.
- Buffy,
450
00:31:35,375 --> 00:31:38,040
our Xander...
Did he seem a little...
451
00:31:38,041 --> 00:31:41,082
He seemed kind of forceful and confident.
That's not Xander.
452
00:31:41,083 --> 00:31:44,124
I said, "oh, dear lord."
You always say that.
453
00:31:44,125 --> 00:31:46,958
Well, it's always important.
454
00:31:46,959 --> 00:31:50,290
Neither Xander is a demon.
455
00:31:50,291 --> 00:31:53,624
Um... is one of them a robot?
What? No.
456
00:31:53,625 --> 00:31:57,374
Um, the rod device, it's
called a ferula gemina.
457
00:31:57,375 --> 00:32:01,916
It splits one person into half, distilling
personality traits into two separate bodies.
458
00:32:01,917 --> 00:32:07,040
As near as I can tell, toth was attempting to
split the slayer into two different entities.
459
00:32:07,041 --> 00:32:09,624
Two buffies?
460
00:32:09,625 --> 00:32:12,541
Yes. One with all the qualities
inherent in Buffy summers.
461
00:32:12,542 --> 00:32:16,374
The other with everything that
belongs to the slayer alone...
462
00:32:16,375 --> 00:32:21,916
The strength, the speed, the
heritage... and when it hit Xander,
463
00:32:21,917 --> 00:32:25,791
I think it separated him into his
strongest points and his weakest.
464
00:32:25,792 --> 00:32:28,624
But which one's the real one? They're
both real. They're both Xander.
465
00:32:28,625 --> 00:32:31,749
Neither one of them is evil. There's
nothing in either of them...
466
00:32:31,750 --> 00:32:33,958
That our Xander
didn't already possess.
467
00:32:33,959 --> 00:32:37,040
I still don't get the original plan.
I mean, why do it?
468
00:32:37,041 --> 00:32:39,999
The slayer half would be like slayer
concentrate... pretty un-killable.
469
00:32:40,000 --> 00:32:42,541
But the two halves
can't exist without each other.
470
00:32:42,542 --> 00:32:46,499
Kill the weaker Buffy half,
and the slayer half dies.
471
00:32:46,500 --> 00:32:49,082
So the same goes
for the xanders.
472
00:32:49,083 --> 00:32:51,457
We lose one.
We lose them both.
473
00:32:51,458 --> 00:32:56,082
He's the demon! Or possibly a robot.
Look at me.
474
00:32:56,083 --> 00:32:59,708
Look in my eyes.
Can't you see it's me?
475
00:33:02,625 --> 00:33:04,457
I-I don't know.
476
00:33:04,458 --> 00:33:07,208
Please... look at him!
Listen to him!
477
00:33:07,209 --> 00:33:09,499
He's all smooth.
478
00:33:09,500 --> 00:33:13,791
You have to know it's me!
Don't worry, Anya.
479
00:33:13,792 --> 00:33:15,833
I'll get rid of this thing.
480
00:33:15,834 --> 00:33:18,500
I'm thinking this is gonna
last about 15 seconds.
481
00:33:20,291 --> 00:33:22,250
I'm thinking less.
482
00:33:29,834 --> 00:33:32,708
No, don't shoot him!
483
00:33:37,083 --> 00:33:39,374
Can't this thing go any faster?
484
00:33:39,375 --> 00:33:41,791
Ultimate driving machine,
my ass.
485
00:33:41,792 --> 00:33:43,750
We're pushing 70.
486
00:33:47,333 --> 00:33:50,000
Riley, do you wish... no.
487
00:33:52,208 --> 00:33:55,749
No? You don't even know
what I was gonna say.
488
00:33:55,750 --> 00:33:59,624
Yes, I do. Um... You wanted to
know if I wished you got hit...
489
00:33:59,625 --> 00:34:02,750
By the ferula gemina,
got split in two.
490
00:34:04,417 --> 00:34:08,541
Well, you have been kind of rankly
about the whole slayer gig.
491
00:34:08,542 --> 00:34:11,416
Instead of having slayer-Buffy,
you could have Buffy-Buffy.
492
00:34:11,417 --> 00:34:14,040
I have Buffy-Buffy.
493
00:34:14,041 --> 00:34:18,332
Being the slayer's part of who you are.
You keep thinking I don't get that, but...
494
00:34:18,333 --> 00:34:23,165
It's just... I know how
un-fun it can be...
495
00:34:23,166 --> 00:34:26,499
The bad hours, frequent
bruising, cranky monsters.
496
00:34:26,500 --> 00:34:28,624
Buffy...
497
00:34:28,625 --> 00:34:30,791
If you led a perfectly
normal life,
498
00:34:30,792 --> 00:34:33,082
you wouldn't be half
as crazy as you are.
499
00:34:33,083 --> 00:34:36,958
I gotta have that. I gotta have it all.
We're talkin' toes, elbows,
500
00:34:36,959 --> 00:34:40,624
the whole "bad ice-skating
movie" obsession, everything.
501
00:34:40,625 --> 00:34:44,000
There's no part of you
I'm not in love with.
502
00:34:50,959 --> 00:34:53,541
Oh, we better get there soon.
503
00:34:53,542 --> 00:34:56,249
If Xander kills himself,
he's dead.
504
00:34:56,250 --> 00:34:58,458
You know what I mean.
505
00:35:01,209 --> 00:35:04,916
Let go! I have to
kill the demon-bot!
506
00:35:04,917 --> 00:35:07,124
Ow!
507
00:35:07,125 --> 00:35:10,374
Anya... get out of the way.
508
00:35:10,375 --> 00:35:13,499
Xander! It's all right, Buffy.
I have him.
509
00:35:13,500 --> 00:35:16,416
No, Buffy! I'm me!
Help me!
510
00:35:16,417 --> 00:35:18,374
My gun.
He's got my gun.
511
00:35:18,375 --> 00:35:20,833
You own a gun?
512
00:35:20,834 --> 00:35:23,500
Xander... gun-holding
Xander... give it to me.
513
00:35:34,209 --> 00:35:37,874
Buffy, which one's real?
I am.
514
00:35:37,875 --> 00:35:39,750
No, I am.
515
00:35:41,917 --> 00:35:44,833
Thank you.
516
00:35:44,834 --> 00:35:46,792
Uh! Ow!
517
00:35:48,875 --> 00:35:50,875
Wild.
Yeah.
518
00:35:51,792 --> 00:35:54,874
Okay, Xander... ses.
519
00:35:54,875 --> 00:35:59,416
You've been split in two. But you're both
Xander, and you can't kill each other.
520
00:35:59,417 --> 00:36:01,792
I mean, well, you could,
but it would be really bad.
521
00:36:05,083 --> 00:36:07,290
No way.
He can't be me.
522
00:36:07,291 --> 00:36:09,833
He's all fancy.
523
00:36:09,834 --> 00:36:12,708
We can prove you're both Xander.
Yeah! How?
524
00:36:14,250 --> 00:36:17,707
Um... ell, there has to be a way.
525
00:36:17,708 --> 00:36:20,332
What number am I thinking of? I
don't think that's gonna do it.
526
00:36:20,333 --> 00:36:23,542
Eleven and a half.
Wrong. Oh! But see?
527
00:36:25,375 --> 00:36:29,124
No. We're not the same.
We're all different.
528
00:36:29,125 --> 00:36:32,457
Different properties went into each
of you, but you're both Xander.
529
00:36:32,458 --> 00:36:35,082
Different properties?
What different properties?
530
00:36:35,083 --> 00:36:37,707
Uh... uh, you know.
531
00:36:37,708 --> 00:36:42,624
Uh... sense of direction. Good
night-vision. Stuff like that.
532
00:36:42,625 --> 00:36:45,874
Oh, but he has
a thing in his pocket.
533
00:36:45,875 --> 00:36:49,374
A shiny disk that stuns and disorients.
What disk?
534
00:36:49,375 --> 00:36:51,374
Cover your eyes!
This?
535
00:36:51,375 --> 00:36:53,583
It'll melt your brain!
536
00:36:56,750 --> 00:36:58,833
Look.
537
00:36:58,834 --> 00:37:01,040
It's a nickel someone flattened
on the railroad track.
538
00:37:01,041 --> 00:37:04,374
I found it on the construction site.
I thought it was cool.
539
00:37:04,375 --> 00:37:08,082
It's not magic.
No, I...
540
00:37:08,083 --> 00:37:10,707
Huh.
541
00:37:10,708 --> 00:37:14,833
It is kinda cool. Washington's
still there, but he's all smushy.
542
00:37:14,834 --> 00:37:17,499
- And he may be Jefferson.
- Okay.
543
00:37:17,500 --> 00:37:19,916
Isn't anyone gonna tell me
why there are two xanders?
544
00:37:19,917 --> 00:37:22,667
I will on the way to giles's.
Let's go.
545
00:37:28,208 --> 00:37:30,582
Oh, great. Rod boy.
546
00:37:30,583 --> 00:37:32,582
I will not miss again, slayer.
547
00:37:32,583 --> 00:37:34,917
The gun! Pick up
the little gun pieces!
548
00:37:37,834 --> 00:37:40,542
Hey, I just made a small
cleaning deposit!
549
00:38:08,041 --> 00:38:09,875
Sword.
550
00:38:13,583 --> 00:38:16,041
Aah!
551
00:38:22,583 --> 00:38:26,124
Oh, yeah.
That cleaning deposit's gone.
552
00:38:26,125 --> 00:38:28,416
I was thinking the same thing!
553
00:38:28,417 --> 00:38:30,625
Hey, do you suppose
we're both Xander?
554
00:38:31,458 --> 00:38:34,290
Look and admire, ladies.
555
00:38:34,291 --> 00:38:39,165
Look, there's a scar there, and
there's the same one right there.
556
00:38:39,166 --> 00:38:41,791
It's all doubled.
557
00:38:41,792 --> 00:38:47,499
This zit, and this...
Kinda funny dippy thing.
558
00:38:47,500 --> 00:38:50,457
And this weird little hair
that grows in the wrong way.
559
00:38:50,458 --> 00:38:53,457
Okay! Back off, ladies.
560
00:38:53,458 --> 00:38:56,207
Psychologically,
this is fascinating.
561
00:38:56,208 --> 00:39:00,457
Doesn't it make everyone want to lock them in
separate rooms and do experiments on them?
562
00:39:00,458 --> 00:39:02,708
Just me then.
563
00:39:04,500 --> 00:39:08,999
So, um, you xanders really do have all
the same memories, all the same...
564
00:39:09,000 --> 00:39:12,124
Physical attributes?
565
00:39:12,125 --> 00:39:14,166
We're completely identical.
566
00:39:14,167 --> 00:39:19,166
Yeah. We checked out some stuff
in the car on the way over.
567
00:39:19,167 --> 00:39:20,457
Fingerprints.
568
00:39:20,458 --> 00:39:25,290
Well, maybe we shouldn't do this
reintegration thing right away.
569
00:39:25,291 --> 00:39:28,833
See, I can take the boys home, and, you
know, we can all have sex together,
570
00:39:28,834 --> 00:39:32,749
and then, you know, just slap 'em
back together in the morning.
571
00:39:32,750 --> 00:39:35,541
She's joking.
No, she's not!
572
00:39:35,542 --> 00:39:40,374
She entirely wants to have sex with
us together, which is... wrong,
573
00:39:40,375 --> 00:39:43,457
and... and it would
be very confusing.
574
00:39:43,458 --> 00:39:46,040
We just need
to arrange the candles.
575
00:39:46,041 --> 00:39:50,874
Also, we should continue to pretend we
heard none of the disturbing sex talk.
576
00:39:50,875 --> 00:39:54,457
Check.
Candles and pretense.
577
00:39:54,458 --> 00:39:58,541
It's not like it'd be cheating. They're
both Xander. Now, hold on a sec.
578
00:39:58,542 --> 00:40:02,916
If you weren't putting a whammy on people
with the shiny thing, how'd you do it?
579
00:40:02,917 --> 00:40:05,541
How'd you get the promotion?
Well, I'm good at that stuff.
580
00:40:05,542 --> 00:40:07,874
I am?
Yeah.
581
00:40:07,875 --> 00:40:10,833
And, hey, how 'bout that lady, huh?
The apartment manager.
582
00:40:10,834 --> 00:40:13,916
How weird was it when she
called me "Mr."? Yeah!
583
00:40:13,917 --> 00:40:17,290
We're ready.
We should do it now.
584
00:40:17,291 --> 00:40:21,000
- Well, what do we do if it doesn't work?
- Kill us both, Spock!
585
00:40:23,959 --> 00:40:27,082
They're kinda the same now.
586
00:40:27,083 --> 00:40:29,457
Yes, he's clearly
a bad influence on himself.
587
00:40:29,458 --> 00:40:33,082
Hey, summon the goddess. Chant the chant.
Let's do it.
588
00:40:33,083 --> 00:40:36,999
Actually, it's not that hard. Your
natural state is to be together.
589
00:40:37,000 --> 00:40:39,916
Toth's spell is doing all the
work of keeping you apart.
590
00:40:39,917 --> 00:40:43,207
I just have to break it.
So you two...
591
00:40:43,208 --> 00:40:46,165
Stand right here.
592
00:40:46,166 --> 00:40:51,499
Side by side. We don't want you to
end up with two fronts, now do we?
593
00:40:51,500 --> 00:40:54,874
Are you sure you know
how to do this?
594
00:40:54,875 --> 00:40:59,083
Here we go.
Brace yourselves.
595
00:41:00,417 --> 00:41:02,707
Let the spell be ended.
596
00:41:02,708 --> 00:41:04,874
You gotta be kidding.
597
00:41:04,875 --> 00:41:07,291
"Let the spell be ended."
That's not gonna work.
598
00:41:08,792 --> 00:41:10,834
Oh.
599
00:41:13,625 --> 00:41:17,000
I liked it the other way.
Put him back.
600
00:41:29,375 --> 00:41:31,707
Getting nostalgic?
601
00:41:31,708 --> 00:41:35,874
I don't know.
At first, it's just a place.
602
00:41:35,875 --> 00:41:38,249
Then you start to make memories,
603
00:41:38,250 --> 00:41:40,999
and then you're like,
that's where spike slept,
604
00:41:41,000 --> 00:41:45,416
and there, that's where Anya and
I drowned the sepavro demon.
605
00:41:45,417 --> 00:41:50,749
Oh! And right there, that's where
I got my heart all ripped out.
606
00:41:50,750 --> 00:41:52,750
I really hate this place.
607
00:41:54,291 --> 00:41:58,666
Anya. Ohh! I see you've joined
the not-sling-wearing crowd.
608
00:41:58,667 --> 00:42:02,499
Yes. I'm feeling better. And I
anticipate many years before my death...
609
00:42:02,500 --> 00:42:05,207
Excepting disease
or air-bag failure.
610
00:42:05,208 --> 00:42:07,834
That sounds nice.
611
00:42:10,125 --> 00:42:12,416
Oh! Presents?
612
00:42:12,417 --> 00:42:14,874
Not unless you want my collection
of Babylon 5 commemorative plates,
613
00:42:14,875 --> 00:42:17,374
which you cannot have.
614
00:42:17,375 --> 00:42:19,916
I just thought you could
help carry a little.
615
00:42:19,917 --> 00:42:23,457
Me?
Buffy has super strength.
616
00:42:23,458 --> 00:42:26,416
Why don't we just load her up
like one of those little horses?
617
00:42:26,417 --> 00:42:29,582
Anya. Please.
618
00:42:29,583 --> 00:42:34,000
Fine.
I'm just your slave.
619
00:42:35,917 --> 00:42:40,374
How is it that she can always make me
feel suave Xander's left the building?
620
00:42:40,375 --> 00:42:44,249
You two have your friction, but
she digs the whole package.
621
00:42:44,250 --> 00:42:46,999
It's obvious. Still, I
do envy you sometimes.
622
00:42:47,000 --> 00:42:49,249
I mean, for the sanity.
623
00:42:49,250 --> 00:42:52,207
Not that I'm still into Buffy.
Not that I ever was.
624
00:42:52,208 --> 00:42:54,791
Hey, I'm well aware
of how lucky I am...
625
00:42:54,792 --> 00:42:57,125
Like, lottery lucky.
626
00:42:59,041 --> 00:43:01,916
Buffy's like nobody else
in the world.
627
00:43:01,917 --> 00:43:04,624
When I'm with her, it's like...
it's like I'm split in two.
628
00:43:04,625 --> 00:43:07,582
Half of me is just on fire,
629
00:43:07,583 --> 00:43:09,749
going crazy
if I'm not touching her.
630
00:43:09,750 --> 00:43:14,249
The other half
is so still and peaceful,
631
00:43:14,250 --> 00:43:16,707
just perfectly content.
632
00:43:16,708 --> 00:43:20,792
Just knows, this is the one.
633
00:43:24,542 --> 00:43:26,834
But she doesn't love me.
634
00:43:34,000 --> 00:43:36,332
You got something else
for me to carry?
635
00:43:36,333 --> 00:43:39,125
Uh, you can help me pack this.
Sure.
636
00:43:40,291 --> 00:43:43,834
Mmm. Sure.
637
00:44:25,834 --> 00:44:28,083
Grr! Arrgh!
51208
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