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1
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YOGURT'S
COOL
2
00:00:06,100 --> 00:00:08,116
Nation's Finest yogurt.
3
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So smooth, so silky, so tart and tangy.
4
00:00:12,400 --> 00:00:13,957
You wish it could last forever.
5
00:00:13,980 --> 00:00:17,425
But sooner or later
you'll lose control.
6
00:00:18,842 --> 00:00:21,060
Whoa, I'm getting a boner.
7
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I'm getting a stiffy.
8
00:00:23,580 --> 00:00:26,116
If you don't love it,
get your money back.
9
00:00:26,140 --> 00:00:27,636
Nation's Finest.
10
00:00:27,660 --> 00:00:29,860
We're waiting for you to come.
11
00:00:29,861 --> 00:00:32,472
At this quarter's last mall and over
five thousand other locations,
12
00:00:32,473 --> 00:00:33,799
in the greater tri-county area.
13
00:00:33,800 --> 00:00:36,136
Money back offer in
participating locations.
14
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We need yogurt.
15
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Yeah, yogurt's cool.
16
00:00:49,293 --> 00:00:52,293
Whoa, it's Hammer Time!
17
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"You can't touch this".
18
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Can't touch this.
19
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Touch this.
20
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I can touch this.
21
00:01:06,293 --> 00:01:08,004
I can't watch this.
22
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Whoa!
23
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- This is stupid.
- Yeah.
24
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And it sucks too.
25
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Look at these special effects.
26
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These special effects suck.
27
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- You have to spit when you talk, Beavis?
- Yeah.
28
00:01:33,572 --> 00:01:36,064
I always try to hock
a loogie when I talk.
29
00:01:36,252 --> 00:01:39,754
- You just spit in my eye, ass munch!
- Yeah! Yeah!
30
00:01:46,648 --> 00:01:49,240
- Is this Pat Nebatar?
- Yeah.
31
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She's that chick that had
sexual intercourse with Don Henley.
32
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Yeah.
33
00:01:57,203 --> 00:01:59,102
- "Goodbye to glue".
- Yeah.
34
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"Goodbye to po-oooo!"
35
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- "Goodbye to poo".
- Yeah.
36
00:02:12,441 --> 00:02:16,441
"Call now! For live
one on one conversations".
37
00:02:17,182 --> 00:02:18,465
Yeah.
38
00:02:18,696 --> 00:02:20,729
"Share you intimate thoughts".
39
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"$1.95 per minute".
40
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"Must be eighteen or older".
41
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Hey Beavis, if we had a $1.95,
42
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we could call and share our
intimate thoughts.
43
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We could tell her that she sucks.
44
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This chick's name is T'Pau.
45
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Yeah.
That's Spanish for "this sucks".
46
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Hey Butt-Head, have you noticed how
this video, like, sucks.
47
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Yeah.
48
00:03:03,458 --> 00:03:07,017
The more things change,
the more they suck.
49
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Stephanie-Lou,
you got costumers!
50
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Welcome to Nation's Finest,
we put the "Y" in yoghurt.
51
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Why? Because it's good for you.
Can I help you?
52
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I don't know, can you?
53
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You boys want something or you're just
looking to get thrown out of the place?
54
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I want yoghurt.
55
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Well, then give the little lady
here your order, and we'll all be happy.
56
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- May I help you?
- We want yoghurt.
57
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Chocolate, vanilla, strawberry,
banana, colada,
58
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or one of our premium
boutique flavours?
59
00:04:00,580 --> 00:04:02,196
Cone or cup?
60
00:04:02,220 --> 00:04:04,930
Small, medium, large
or "inflation fighter"?
61
00:04:05,300 --> 00:04:08,738
Natural or enhanced topping?
Syrup or sauce?
62
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- We want what that chick on TV had.
- Yeah.
63
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Smooth and silky.
64
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That would be cool.
65
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Three dollars.
66
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Tastes like puke!
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This sucks!
68
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- Something wrong here, boys?
- Yeah.
69
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- It's your yoghurt, sir.
- Yeah.
70
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Something died in it.
71
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Well, I'm real sorry to hear that.
72
00:04:50,400 --> 00:04:53,458
Why you don't you two boys
go out and give it a decent burial,
73
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before I'll break your heads together?
74
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- We want our money back, ass wipe!
- Yeah.
75
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Like on the commercial.
76
00:04:59,620 --> 00:05:02,576
You want your money back,
you little peckerwoods?
77
00:05:02,600 --> 00:05:03,916
That's a dang shame!
78
00:05:03,940 --> 00:05:05,356
WE ARE NOT
A PARTICIPATING LOCATION
79
00:05:05,380 --> 00:05:07,500
Sorry boys, next time try a topping,
80
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it drowns out the taste.
Now, shove off!
81
00:05:11,380 --> 00:05:12,860
I said move it!
82
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Tastes like paint.
83
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Cool!
84
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- She rocks.
- Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!
85
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Yeah!
86
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- She wants me.
- Yeah! Yeah!
87
00:05:58,901 --> 00:06:02,736
Cool! I'm gonna get
some clothes like that.
88
00:06:02,838 --> 00:06:05,647
Me too.
These guys get all the chicks.
89
00:06:06,470 --> 00:06:10,370
Yeah.
This band is cool.
90
00:06:28,998 --> 00:06:31,578
How come these
guys are never on TV?
91
00:06:32,467 --> 00:06:35,904
- They should play this video all day long.
- Yeah.
92
00:06:49,318 --> 00:06:52,485
Shut up Beavis, you're ruining it!
93
00:07:02,726 --> 00:07:04,020
Whoa!
94
00:07:17,880 --> 00:07:20,756
- Herman Munster is cool.
- Yeah.
95
00:07:21,428 --> 00:07:23,027
He rocks.
96
00:07:55,060 --> 00:07:57,836
... fill into the stupidest people, well...
97
00:07:57,860 --> 00:08:00,956
No, no, you light
the cigarette first.
98
00:08:00,980 --> 00:08:03,876
Then it takes a long time,
and then it blows up.
99
00:08:03,900 --> 00:08:05,220
- You boys...
- That's cool.
100
00:08:05,220 --> 00:08:08,140
You boys like to blow
up things up, right?
101
00:08:08,140 --> 00:08:10,196
Destruction, that kind of thing?
102
00:08:10,220 --> 00:08:13,036
- Yeah, that's cool.
- Yeah.
103
00:08:13,060 --> 00:08:17,660
Okay, well, how we will make
you demolitions experts?
104
00:08:18,820 --> 00:08:21,900
Engineering degree, college, no...
105
00:08:23,520 --> 00:08:26,080
Ah, here we go, the army.
106
00:08:26,540 --> 00:08:29,460
Let's see...
Can you boys count to four?
107
00:08:32,420 --> 00:08:36,230
- Do you each have at least seven teeth?
- Yeah.
108
00:08:36,980 --> 00:08:40,860
Do either of you have
metal plates in your skull?
109
00:08:41,700 --> 00:08:43,820
We're both metalheads.
110
00:08:53,275 --> 00:08:55,522
- Why is he shutting his ears?
- Yeah.
111
00:08:55,811 --> 00:08:58,747
He has an Excedrin headache this big.
112
00:08:58,747 --> 00:09:00,683
You said "this".
113
00:09:00,683 --> 00:09:04,986
- Yeah, but you said "head".
- No, I didn't, bum wipe.
114
00:09:11,662 --> 00:09:14,964
- Whoa, these guys are cool.
- Yeah.
115
00:09:17,299 --> 00:09:21,833
- This guy has a pretty good voice.
- Yeah, it's loud.
116
00:09:23,538 --> 00:09:25,774
- That's pretty cool.
- Yeah.
117
00:09:28,043 --> 00:09:30,946
- Hammers are cool.
- Yeah, yeah.
118
00:09:31,213 --> 00:09:34,439
I like to take hammers and break stuff,
119
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just break stuff.
Break it!
120
00:09:36,284 --> 00:09:38,920
Settle down, Beavis.
Don't wet your pants.
121
00:09:38,920 --> 00:09:41,923
And when you're done
breaking it, you smash it.
122
00:09:41,923 --> 00:09:44,068
You can smash it!
Yeah! Yeah!
123
00:09:44,092 --> 00:09:46,845
Shut up Beavis, you're
slobbering all over me.
124
00:09:46,846 --> 00:09:47,863
Yeah.
125
00:09:53,826 --> 00:09:56,249
- What's he doing?
- Yeah.
126
00:09:56,692 --> 00:09:59,154
- It's too damn fast.
- Yeah.
127
00:10:00,242 --> 00:10:03,351
They need to slow this down
so we can see everything.
128
00:10:17,760 --> 00:10:20,772
- Whoa! Did you see that?
- Where?
129
00:10:20,796 --> 00:10:24,565
That woman had her hand
on her... her virginia.
130
00:10:24,900 --> 00:10:26,428
I didn't see it!
9338
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