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1
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SICK
2
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... I'm 42 year old, I have
eleven wonderful children...
3
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Beavis.
4
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These taste pretty good.
5
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Ooh, big one.
6
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The common cold can knock you out.
7
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But did you know
that the leading prescription
8
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cold remedy is more
than 70% alcohol,
9
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or that can make you lightheaded,
10
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woozy, even hallucinogenic.
11
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Whoa!
12
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I think we need a doctor.
13
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Yeah, we're sick.
14
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Check it out.
15
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Cool!
16
00:00:58,050 --> 00:00:59,162
Yes!
17
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- Hey, somebody pitched a tent.
- Yeah.
18
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Now this is feel good music.
19
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- This video tells a message.
- Yeah.
20
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- The message is "Vince Neil is a wuss".
- Yeah.
21
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That guy from Danzig will kick his ass.
22
00:01:35,145 --> 00:01:38,077
Hey Butt-Head, what does
Doctor Feelgood mean?
23
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That's like, when the doctor
makes you cough,
24
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and he puts his fingers on your nads.
25
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Yeah, that's cool.
26
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Oh yeah?
27
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You don't have a female
doctor, do you Beavis?
28
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- This video has fire and cars.
- Yeah, and tattoos and leather.
29
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Now, all it needs is some chicks.
30
00:02:09,269 --> 00:02:12,561
- Then it would be cool.
- Yeah.
31
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Fire! Fire! Fire!
32
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Cool!
33
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- This isn't as cool as Scarface.
- Yeah.
34
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This was before the
music revolution.
35
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Hey this looks like that "Less Miserables"
poster in Mrs. Dickie's class.
36
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Yeah.
37
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This Less Miserables-looking thing sucks.
38
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This guy does everything by himself.
39
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Hey, I detect masturbatory overtones.
40
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- "Playing with myself. Oh oh".
- "Playing with myself. Oh oh".
41
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- "Playing with myself".
- "Playing with myself".
42
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- He's talking about choking his chicken
- Yeah.
43
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He's talking about spanking his monkey.
44
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Sweat, sweat, sweat, sweat,
sweat! sweat!
45
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- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- Sweat, sweat.
46
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- Sweat, sweat.
- Sweat, sweat, sweat.
47
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I'm pretty cool sometimes,
huh, Beavis?
48
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Why!?
49
00:03:56,144 --> 00:03:57,881
Who wants...?
Who wants cheese on..?
50
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Medium?
Medium well?
51
00:04:01,880 --> 00:04:03,480
That's cool.
52
00:04:06,800 --> 00:04:08,360
Number 83.
53
00:04:08,960 --> 00:04:10,360
Number 8-3,
54
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Pickles?
Pickles?
55
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Cool!
56
00:04:21,334 --> 00:04:23,276
And what is your problem?
57
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I kinda... ow!...
have a fork stuck in my head.
58
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We're number 83 and we need
the leading subscription cold remedy.
59
00:04:37,175 --> 00:04:39,355
We are, like, sick or something.
60
00:04:45,251 --> 00:04:50,904
I have not gone on break
in two hours and fifteen minutes.
61
00:04:53,812 --> 00:04:55,514
And what is your problem?
62
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We're sick.
63
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See?
64
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Look, room seven. Strip down to your
underpants, wait for the doctor.
65
00:05:06,040 --> 00:05:07,360
I'm going on my break.
66
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Cool.
67
00:05:18,400 --> 00:05:19,920
So the doctor says:
68
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"Rectum?
It nearly killed him".
69
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Nice wedgie, dude.
70
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Look, it's a thong.
71
00:05:36,720 --> 00:05:38,440
That's cool.
72
00:05:42,600 --> 00:05:45,880
Oh, okay. So, you boys
have bad colds, right?
73
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- She saw your butt.
- Shut up!
74
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Yeah, we have bad colds.
75
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Probably, like, ammonia or something.
76
00:06:00,160 --> 00:06:02,680
So, we need rest, fluids,
77
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and a leading description
cold remedy. A big bottle.
78
00:06:06,480 --> 00:06:09,600
Well, we'll see, Mr. Butt-Head.
79
00:06:09,720 --> 00:06:12,400
How about we start with you?
Just hop up on the table over there,
80
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and let me take a
quick look in your ear, okay?
81
00:06:17,040 --> 00:06:19,440
Well, what I actually said,
Mr. Butt-Head, was
82
00:06:19,464 --> 00:06:22,402
"In your ear", not "In your rear".
83
00:06:22,424 --> 00:06:25,663
So, maybe you could...?
You know.
84
00:06:26,560 --> 00:06:29,419
You can call him Crisco, 'cause
he's fat in the can.
85
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Shut up, Beavis!
86
00:06:33,434 --> 00:06:35,126
- Hey! Hey!
- Butthole!
87
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I tell you what. Let's just
cut this short, okay?
88
00:06:37,160 --> 00:06:39,174
I'll give you each a
quick antibiotic injection,
89
00:06:39,198 --> 00:06:41,350
and you should start
feeling better very soon.
90
00:06:41,400 --> 00:06:43,595
No leading inscription cold remedy?
91
00:06:43,814 --> 00:06:45,996
No wild cherry or cool grape goodness?
92
00:06:46,300 --> 00:06:47,851
No, I never prescribe that stuff.
93
00:06:47,875 --> 00:06:49,875
It tends to make
patients kinda lightheaded.
94
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Homeowner.
95
00:06:53,720 --> 00:06:56,120
Sometimes, they even
get high or hallucinate.
96
00:06:57,740 --> 00:06:59,854
Alright, then.
You can dress now if you'd like.
97
00:06:59,878 --> 00:07:01,399
In fact, I'd really appreciate
98
00:07:01,400 --> 00:07:04,330
if you do it as quickly as possible.
And the nurse will be in momentarily,
99
00:07:04,354 --> 00:07:06,354
with your bill.
100
00:07:11,420 --> 00:07:15,580
This sucks!
No medicine, no buzz, nothing.
101
00:07:15,700 --> 00:07:18,780
Yeah,
I'm starting to feel better.
102
00:07:19,260 --> 00:07:20,620
What a rip-off.
103
00:07:21,660 --> 00:07:24,180
Honey, where's the pickles?
104
00:07:24,300 --> 00:07:25,483
Where's the pickles?
105
00:07:36,356 --> 00:07:37,630
Check it out, Beavis.
106
00:07:38,036 --> 00:07:42,275
- It's those dudes on Stewart's lunchbox.
- Yeah.
107
00:07:50,239 --> 00:07:55,423
This video needs, like, more explosions
and close-ups of butts.
108
00:07:55,977 --> 00:08:00,221
Yeah, they should have somebody
come out and start kicking these guys.
109
00:08:01,269 --> 00:08:03,501
- That would be cool.
- Yeah.
110
00:08:05,015 --> 00:08:06,453
They could kick him.
111
00:08:07,877 --> 00:08:09,363
And punch him too.
112
00:08:10,041 --> 00:08:11,473
Like Ice Cube.
113
00:08:11,934 --> 00:08:14,642
He could come out
and kick all these guys.
114
00:08:15,099 --> 00:08:17,347
- That would be cool.
- Yeah.
115
00:08:24,946 --> 00:08:27,571
- He said "hanging'".
- Yeah.
116
00:08:42,880 --> 00:08:44,280
If this toad licking thing works,
117
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we not gonna even need
the leading conniption cold remedy.
118
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Anything yet?
119
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Are you sure you're licking right?
120
00:08:57,139 --> 00:08:58,206
Yeah.
121
00:08:58,480 --> 00:09:02,030
I don't get it! It's supposed
to pack an awesome buzz.
122
00:09:08,947 --> 00:09:10,880
Taste like chicken.
123
00:09:14,120 --> 00:09:16,103
- Here toady.
- Here toady.
124
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Yes!
125
00:09:21,083 --> 00:09:24,886
Whoa!
"Trials Of life".
126
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"Why do you think they
call them animals?"
127
00:09:28,985 --> 00:09:36,404
Yeah, "Volume One. Hunting and escaping.
Order now! Operators are standing by!"
128
00:09:42,123 --> 00:09:43,728
Whoa, a baby!
129
00:09:45,297 --> 00:09:46,791
How did that happen?
130
00:09:54,482 --> 00:09:55,551
Cool!
131
00:10:00,474 --> 00:10:02,338
These guys are pissed off.
132
00:10:03,316 --> 00:10:07,517
- Yeah, they got a bad attitude.
- That's cool.
133
00:10:13,090 --> 00:10:16,310
This is the coolest video
I've ever seen in my life.
134
00:10:19,182 --> 00:10:20,937
His beard is cool.
135
00:10:27,074 --> 00:10:29,206
It's King Tut from Batman.
9641
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