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1
00:00:01,424 --> 00:00:05,259
[brass fanfare]
2
00:00:05,469 --> 00:00:07,219
- Can you believe
we're at hephaestus'
3
00:00:07,263 --> 00:00:08,887
Technology convention?
4
00:00:08,973 --> 00:00:10,431
Are you so excited?
- Yeah.
5
00:00:10,474 --> 00:00:12,349
If there's two things
smart people love,
6
00:00:12,393 --> 00:00:15,060
It's huge crowds
and more smart people.
7
00:00:15,104 --> 00:00:17,438
Is that a giant automaton?
8
00:00:17,481 --> 00:00:19,690
I didn't even know
that was possible yet.
9
00:00:19,734 --> 00:00:21,108
- Welcome to volcon.
10
00:00:21,193 --> 00:00:23,193
I am not an automaton.
11
00:00:23,279 --> 00:00:26,947
I am a living giant,
painted gold
12
00:00:27,033 --> 00:00:29,199
And forced to repeat
this message
13
00:00:29,285 --> 00:00:31,118
By mechanized torture,
14
00:00:31,203 --> 00:00:33,829
Which is arguably
more impressive.
15
00:00:33,873 --> 00:00:35,998
Welcome to volcon.
16
00:00:36,083 --> 00:00:38,876
- Ah, I should not
have looked up.
17
00:00:38,961 --> 00:00:40,002
- Were they painted gold?
18
00:00:40,087 --> 00:00:41,879
- Someone may have died trying.
19
00:00:41,964 --> 00:00:43,547
Tyrannis, you're happy
with my work
20
00:00:43,632 --> 00:00:44,798
As your inventor, right?
21
00:00:44,842 --> 00:00:46,925
You didn't, like,
bring me here to show me
22
00:00:47,011 --> 00:00:49,887
How replaceable I am?
- That's your take?
23
00:00:49,972 --> 00:00:51,597
How can the smartest guy
in my family
24
00:00:51,640 --> 00:00:54,433
Also be the most childish
and least secure?
25
00:00:54,477 --> 00:00:57,269
- I don't know, maybe years
of you saying stuff like that?
26
00:00:57,271 --> 00:00:59,104
- Hippocampus,
you're my big brother
27
00:00:59,148 --> 00:01:01,148
And a genius,
and I brought you here
28
00:01:01,192 --> 00:01:02,858
To connect with great thinkers.
29
00:01:02,943 --> 00:01:04,401
So, please,
grow up and enjoy it
30
00:01:04,487 --> 00:01:07,946
Because I'm giving you
a priceless opportunity.
31
00:01:07,990 --> 00:01:10,074
- Two chickens, please.
- Two chick--
32
00:01:10,159 --> 00:01:12,618
I thought this was
a priceless opportunity.
33
00:01:12,703 --> 00:01:14,119
- Two adults, two chickens.
34
00:01:14,163 --> 00:01:15,454
- This was
our lunch and dinner.
35
00:01:15,539 --> 00:01:18,040
- No outside food or drinks.
We do sell eggs.
36
00:01:18,125 --> 00:01:20,042
- Oh, I bet you do.
37
00:01:20,086 --> 00:01:23,212
[plucky music]
38
00:01:23,297 --> 00:01:30,427
♪ ♪
39
00:01:45,402 --> 00:01:48,320
- [crowing]
40
00:01:49,657 --> 00:01:51,073
- [moos]
41
00:01:51,158 --> 00:01:52,449
- Where is everyone?
42
00:01:52,535 --> 00:01:54,535
- Ty and hippo
are at a tech convention,
43
00:01:54,620 --> 00:01:57,204
And stupendous is adventuring,
leaving their parents
44
00:01:57,331 --> 00:02:00,040
An entire palace
for their erotic playground.
45
00:02:00,084 --> 00:02:02,292
- Aren't you, like, 5,000?
46
00:02:02,378 --> 00:02:04,795
How does sex
still interest you?
47
00:02:04,839 --> 00:02:06,797
- I married the goddess of it.
48
00:02:06,882 --> 00:02:08,966
- That was a test,
and you passed.
49
00:02:09,093 --> 00:02:10,259
Ooh.
- Mm.
50
00:02:10,302 --> 00:02:13,053
- I'm in the room.
- Why?
51
00:02:13,139 --> 00:02:15,848
- Emergency--I was adventuring
with my friend felix,
52
00:02:15,933 --> 00:02:16,974
And we started fighting
a medusa.
53
00:02:17,017 --> 00:02:18,308
- The medusa.
- What?
54
00:02:18,352 --> 00:02:20,853
- Medusa is one
of several gorgons.
55
00:02:20,938 --> 00:02:24,064
You can fight
the medusa or a gorgon.
56
00:02:24,108 --> 00:02:25,941
You can't fight a medusa.
57
00:02:25,985 --> 00:02:28,068
- I don't think felix cares.
58
00:02:28,112 --> 00:02:30,154
I need a ride to the nearest
temple of athena.
59
00:02:30,239 --> 00:02:31,446
- Why?
60
00:02:31,615 --> 00:02:33,699
- The only way to reverse
a medusa stoning is to--
61
00:02:33,742 --> 00:02:35,742
- Gorgon stoning.
- Do you want to die today?
62
00:02:35,828 --> 00:02:37,202
- I'll stop helping.
63
00:02:37,288 --> 00:02:40,164
- The only way to reverse this
is a sacrifice to athena.
64
00:02:40,249 --> 00:02:43,542
- Ha, you do realize athena
created the gorgons,
65
00:02:43,586 --> 00:02:44,751
Which include medusa?
66
00:02:44,837 --> 00:02:46,044
- Thank you.
- So?
67
00:02:46,130 --> 00:02:48,505
- So her crappy monster
turns people to stone,
68
00:02:48,591 --> 00:02:51,091
And the only way to undo it
is to worship her?
69
00:02:51,135 --> 00:02:53,177
Talk about a scam.
70
00:02:53,262 --> 00:02:55,262
- Can we talk about it
on the way to the temple?
71
00:02:55,306 --> 00:02:58,182
- I'm not flying my daughter
back to that hack's temple
72
00:02:58,267 --> 00:03:00,058
To reverse her clumsy cursing.
73
00:03:00,102 --> 00:03:01,894
I'll turn your friend
back to flesh myself.
74
00:03:01,979 --> 00:03:03,020
- You can do that?
75
00:03:03,105 --> 00:03:04,855
- Did she just ask
if I can do that?
76
00:03:04,940 --> 00:03:06,857
- She did.
- I'm sorry?
77
00:03:06,901 --> 00:03:08,901
- Give me your stupid friend.
78
00:03:08,944 --> 00:03:13,071
You can do that?
That's you.
79
00:03:13,157 --> 00:03:15,657
- Can she do it?
- Not sure.
80
00:03:15,701 --> 00:03:18,452
[deep plucky music]
81
00:03:19,079 --> 00:03:20,495
- What's your invention,
friend?
82
00:03:20,539 --> 00:03:23,165
- A standard unit of measure
called the ned.
83
00:03:23,250 --> 00:03:25,250
This stick is a quarter ned.
84
00:03:25,336 --> 00:03:28,795
You are 3 and 1/2 quarter neds.
- I suppose you're ned.
85
00:03:28,839 --> 00:03:30,255
- Easy to remember.
86
00:03:30,299 --> 00:03:32,174
- We should use
the ned system back home.
87
00:03:32,259 --> 00:03:34,676
- I can measure things
with my own height.
88
00:03:34,720 --> 00:03:36,887
- What are you, like, 3/4 ned?
89
00:03:36,972 --> 00:03:38,555
That's a lot
of extra calculations
90
00:03:38,641 --> 00:03:39,848
Just to service your vanity.
91
00:03:39,934 --> 00:03:41,516
- I officially hate it here.
92
00:03:41,560 --> 00:03:43,227
- Because you think
it's a competition.
93
00:03:43,270 --> 00:03:45,062
You practically
attacked the creator
94
00:03:45,105 --> 00:03:46,730
Of the miniature bucket.
- It's a cup!
95
00:03:46,774 --> 00:03:48,232
- So?
96
00:03:48,317 --> 00:03:50,317
You know what's more useful
than one genius, hippocampus?
97
00:03:50,402 --> 00:03:53,028
100 neds,
willing to work together.
98
00:03:53,072 --> 00:03:55,072
- Hey, do not use me
as a metric of--
99
00:03:55,157 --> 00:03:57,574
I mean,
do use me as a metric, but--
100
00:03:57,618 --> 00:03:58,825
- I was right.
101
00:03:58,994 --> 00:04:01,736
You brought me here
because you think I'm useless.
102
00:04:01,747 --> 00:04:03,205
- I never said that.
103
00:04:03,249 --> 00:04:04,873
But have you ever
invented anything
104
00:04:04,959 --> 00:04:06,208
That anyone actually asked for?
105
00:04:06,293 --> 00:04:08,627
- That wouldn't
be very inventive, would it?
106
00:04:08,671 --> 00:04:09,962
[laughter]
107
00:04:10,047 --> 00:04:11,338
- Must be nice.
108
00:04:11,340 --> 00:04:13,674
Ned, where's
the hephaestus panel happening?
109
00:04:13,759 --> 00:04:15,425
- It's about 30 stevens south--
110
00:04:15,469 --> 00:04:16,593
Neds, 30 neds.
111
00:04:16,679 --> 00:04:18,095
- Did you say 30 stevens?
112
00:04:18,180 --> 00:04:19,846
- Slip of the tongue--
30 neds.
113
00:04:19,932 --> 00:04:22,391
- Who's steven?
- Exactly.
114
00:04:22,434 --> 00:04:24,851
- Ma, can I just have
my friend back?
115
00:04:24,937 --> 00:04:27,187
I'm coming in.
She bailed.
116
00:04:27,273 --> 00:04:29,273
- That's not like her.
- Yes, it is.
117
00:04:29,358 --> 00:04:30,357
- Fair enough.
118
00:04:30,401 --> 00:04:32,442
- Someone open this door, please.
119
00:04:32,528 --> 00:04:33,735
Thank you.
120
00:04:33,904 --> 00:04:35,904
But if you're going to be
in here, cover your eye.
121
00:04:35,948 --> 00:04:38,615
- Is that the medusa?
- Not for long.
122
00:04:38,701 --> 00:04:39,950
- [hissing]
123
00:04:40,035 --> 00:04:41,368
- Yes, darling,
get over yourself.
124
00:04:41,453 --> 00:04:44,579
You are henceforth,
"reversadusa."
125
00:04:44,623 --> 00:04:47,165
- [hissing]
126
00:04:47,209 --> 00:04:49,835
- Easy, girl, easy.
- What's a "reversadusa"?
127
00:04:49,920 --> 00:04:51,336
- I think
it's self-explanatory.
128
00:04:51,422 --> 00:04:53,714
Turn the statue to look at her.
Hey. Hey. Here.
129
00:04:53,799 --> 00:04:56,300
Psst.
Over here, here, honey.
130
00:04:59,430 --> 00:05:02,180
Ah, hmm.
Should have seen that coming.
131
00:05:02,224 --> 00:05:04,975
- Did it work?
- I have a process.
132
00:05:05,060 --> 00:05:09,146
- Hello, volcon!
I'm chris hardwick.
133
00:05:09,231 --> 00:05:12,065
I'm moderating this panel
and, due to a curse,
134
00:05:12,109 --> 00:05:13,358
All panels
until the end of time.
135
00:05:13,444 --> 00:05:15,777
But hey, you didn't sleep
outside on the gravel
136
00:05:15,863 --> 00:05:17,821
For a month to hear my story.
137
00:05:17,906 --> 00:05:20,907
You waited to see
the god of making stuff,
138
00:05:20,993 --> 00:05:24,661
The father of forges,
the master of metal,
139
00:05:24,705 --> 00:05:26,747
Hephaestus!
140
00:05:26,832 --> 00:05:29,750
[triumphant orchestral music]
141
00:05:29,793 --> 00:05:33,045
♪ ♪
142
00:05:33,088 --> 00:05:34,713
- Huh? Huh?
Pretty cool.
143
00:05:34,798 --> 00:05:35,756
- Whatever.
144
00:05:35,924 --> 00:05:37,382
- Let them hear you, guys.
145
00:05:37,468 --> 00:05:42,179
Oh, hephaestus,
where is your hammer?
146
00:05:42,264 --> 00:05:44,931
Oh, no, everyone,
hephaestus doesn't seem
147
00:05:45,017 --> 00:05:46,308
To have his--
oh, wait a minute.
148
00:05:46,352 --> 00:05:51,063
What is happening right now?
Oh, my gods!
149
00:05:51,148 --> 00:05:54,441
[cheers and applause]
150
00:05:54,568 --> 00:05:55,984
Come on!
151
00:05:56,070 --> 00:05:58,904
[laughs]
wow!
152
00:05:58,947 --> 00:06:01,865
That is why you come
to volcon, folks.
153
00:06:01,909 --> 00:06:03,200
It ain't for the eggs.
154
00:06:03,243 --> 00:06:05,744
Hephaestus, what are you
working on these days?
155
00:06:05,829 --> 00:06:08,955
- I'm making a new hat
for hermes with smaller wings.
156
00:06:09,083 --> 00:06:09,831
- Pfft.
- Don't do that.
157
00:06:09,917 --> 00:06:11,208
- Don't tell me what to do.
158
00:06:11,335 --> 00:06:15,212
- And I'm working on a chariot
for apollo, the sun god.
159
00:06:15,255 --> 00:06:17,255
- What's apollo like?
- Hot, chris.
160
00:06:17,299 --> 00:06:19,049
- [laughs]
- pfft.
161
00:06:19,093 --> 00:06:22,302
- I'm sorry, someone keeps
making a very critical,
162
00:06:22,388 --> 00:06:25,222
Unimpressed, pfft sound.
- It's a tech convention.
163
00:06:25,307 --> 00:06:27,015
You know, half the audience
just breathes weird.
164
00:06:27,101 --> 00:06:28,225
- I think
it was that guy there,
165
00:06:28,310 --> 00:06:30,852
The guy with the glass helmet.
- It's okay.
166
00:06:30,938 --> 00:06:32,687
He's my brother,
and he's non-verbal.
167
00:06:32,773 --> 00:06:34,022
- That's not true.
168
00:06:34,066 --> 00:06:35,482
- More of a half-brother,
really.
169
00:06:35,567 --> 00:06:38,193
- Why are you using your talent
to make toys and trinkets
170
00:06:38,278 --> 00:06:39,903
For a bunch
of royal normies
171
00:06:39,947 --> 00:06:41,321
That are never
gonna respect you?
172
00:06:41,448 --> 00:06:43,198
- I've never met
this man in my life.
173
00:06:43,283 --> 00:06:45,450
- Oh, you're expert on respect,
are you?
174
00:06:45,452 --> 00:06:48,120
Should I respect you more
than all these other fans
175
00:06:48,205 --> 00:06:49,955
Because, why,
because you're more jaded?
176
00:06:50,040 --> 00:06:51,373
Less polite?
177
00:06:51,458 --> 00:06:55,460
- Because I picked the lock
you made for prometheus.
178
00:06:55,504 --> 00:06:57,337
[audience gasps]
179
00:06:59,133 --> 00:07:02,509
- What the--?
- How'd you make this?
180
00:07:02,594 --> 00:07:04,928
- It's complicated.
- What's your name?
181
00:07:05,013 --> 00:07:08,306
- Hippocampus.
- That is a stupid name.
182
00:07:08,434 --> 00:07:12,352
But guys like us have
to work with what we're given.
183
00:07:12,396 --> 00:07:16,022
This is my new friend,
hippocampus the great.
184
00:07:16,066 --> 00:07:17,023
[cheers and applause]
185
00:07:17,109 --> 00:07:19,234
- That's my brother.
186
00:07:22,781 --> 00:07:23,822
- Oh, my goodness.
- Yeah.
187
00:07:23,866 --> 00:07:25,949
Hey, I'll see you guys there.
188
00:07:26,034 --> 00:07:29,161
I'm going on a tour
of hephaestus' volcano.
189
00:07:29,204 --> 00:07:31,455
- Is that
a plus-one situation?
190
00:07:31,498 --> 00:07:33,248
- I could ask.
191
00:07:33,292 --> 00:07:35,500
I just don't want to seem
rude or unprofessional though.
192
00:07:35,544 --> 00:07:36,793
- Right, not anymore.
193
00:07:36,920 --> 00:07:38,170
I'll just go wait on the boat
194
00:07:38,213 --> 00:07:40,881
And fondly remember
my two chickens.
195
00:07:40,924 --> 00:07:43,008
- You mad?
- No, I'm happy for you.
196
00:07:43,093 --> 00:07:45,051
- You did want me
to connect with great thinkers.
197
00:07:45,095 --> 00:07:46,970
Speaking of,
there's this girl--
198
00:07:47,014 --> 00:07:48,054
She wants to have lunch.
199
00:07:48,098 --> 00:07:50,182
She has an idea called paper.
200
00:07:50,225 --> 00:07:53,351
It's like foldable clay.
- I'd love to meet her.
201
00:07:53,479 --> 00:07:55,520
- Oh, well,
it's a creative thing.
202
00:07:55,606 --> 00:07:59,733
- Yeah, like the volcano tour.
- Priceless opportunities.
203
00:07:59,818 --> 00:08:01,100
I'll meet you at the boat.
204
00:08:01,111 --> 00:08:03,236
- I'll be there, probably.
205
00:08:03,280 --> 00:08:07,782
Paper sounds stupid.
I hope the volcano erupts.
206
00:08:07,826 --> 00:08:10,577
Oh--ooh.
- Do not look at my balls.
207
00:08:10,662 --> 00:08:12,120
- Sorry. Sorry.
208
00:08:12,206 --> 00:08:14,581
- No, wait. Wait. Please, please!
209
00:08:14,625 --> 00:08:16,833
- Shlub, you're the only one
she's gonna listen to.
210
00:08:16,877 --> 00:08:19,127
- Yes, because she trusts me.
- Yes.
211
00:08:19,171 --> 00:08:22,255
So tell her to let this go
so I can take felix to athena.
212
00:08:22,257 --> 00:08:24,049
- Then she'll stop trusting me.
213
00:08:24,092 --> 00:08:25,667
- I don't think
you know what trust is.
214
00:08:25,677 --> 00:08:28,220
- Well, in strict terms,
it's a belief in reliability,
215
00:08:28,305 --> 00:08:30,430
As one might trust
a wall to hold a ceiling.
216
00:08:30,557 --> 00:08:32,349
Interpersonally,
it's knowing another
217
00:08:32,392 --> 00:08:34,309
Has your best interests
at heart.
218
00:08:34,353 --> 00:08:36,937
- Okay, maybe you do know
what it is.
219
00:08:37,022 --> 00:08:39,105
But I also think
you're just scared to say stuff
220
00:08:39,233 --> 00:08:41,233
She doesn't want to hear.
- A fine distinction.
221
00:08:41,318 --> 00:08:43,360
Let's discuss it
over a drink while your mother
222
00:08:43,403 --> 00:08:45,904
Does whatever she wants
and trusts me to support it.
223
00:08:45,948 --> 00:08:48,073
- Or--
- or what?
224
00:08:48,116 --> 00:08:51,117
- Just sit still, please!
225
00:08:51,203 --> 00:08:53,328
- [screams]
help us.
226
00:08:53,372 --> 00:08:56,456
- What?
You can't sculpt without clay.
227
00:08:58,126 --> 00:08:59,459
Oh, I thought
I had at that time.
228
00:08:59,503 --> 00:09:01,753
Don't worry.
It's all part of the process.
229
00:09:01,838 --> 00:09:03,713
Trust the process.
230
00:09:03,799 --> 00:09:05,257
- Such a cool workshop.
231
00:09:05,342 --> 00:09:07,842
- It actually
used to be a volcano.
232
00:09:07,928 --> 00:09:09,219
- Hard to believe.
233
00:09:09,263 --> 00:09:11,137
Aren't you gonna ask
how I picked your lock?
234
00:09:11,181 --> 00:09:12,681
- You turned
the third cylinder.
235
00:09:12,724 --> 00:09:13,890
I designed it that way.
236
00:09:13,934 --> 00:09:15,725
- Who designs
a lock to be picked?
237
00:09:15,769 --> 00:09:18,520
- Come here.
238
00:09:21,066 --> 00:09:25,110
You know, I was also born
with certain challenges.
239
00:09:25,195 --> 00:09:29,698
- No offense, heph,
I can't breathe or walk.
240
00:09:29,783 --> 00:09:32,284
But I will allow
the comparison.
241
00:09:32,327 --> 00:09:34,661
- When I was born,
my parents threw me away.
242
00:09:34,746 --> 00:09:36,121
I don't mean that figuratively.
243
00:09:36,206 --> 00:09:38,123
My dad could throw, you know?
244
00:09:38,166 --> 00:09:39,958
He threw lightning
for a living.
245
00:09:40,043 --> 00:09:41,126
I went...
[whistling]
246
00:09:41,169 --> 00:09:43,086
Far.
- That sucks.
247
00:09:43,130 --> 00:09:44,838
- Glad it happened.
Made me what I am.
248
00:09:44,881 --> 00:09:46,923
You know who my wife is?
- Aphrodite.
249
00:09:46,967 --> 00:09:48,550
- And what's that say
about the gods?
250
00:09:48,635 --> 00:09:51,094
- They're tolerant of incest?
- You know what family is?
251
00:09:51,138 --> 00:09:53,013
I figured this out.
It's a disease.
252
00:09:53,056 --> 00:09:54,514
You're born with it.
253
00:09:54,558 --> 00:09:56,850
You have no say in the one
you get, and you don't need it,
254
00:09:56,935 --> 00:09:58,852
But, boy, does it need you.
255
00:09:58,937 --> 00:10:00,312
I designed that lock
to be picked
256
00:10:00,355 --> 00:10:03,023
Because my father
is an insane bully,
257
00:10:03,108 --> 00:10:05,233
Just like prometheus,
just like heracles,
258
00:10:05,319 --> 00:10:07,819
Who everyone thinks
freed prometheus
259
00:10:07,904 --> 00:10:09,988
Because handsome,
stupid asses
260
00:10:10,073 --> 00:10:11,364
Think they run the world.
261
00:10:11,450 --> 00:10:15,952
And that's how ugly,
smart people like it.
262
00:10:15,996 --> 00:10:19,789
- Is it possible
for the brain to get a boner?
263
00:10:19,833 --> 00:10:22,125
[upbeat music]
264
00:10:22,127 --> 00:10:24,085
- Got anything warm
and comforting?
265
00:10:24,087 --> 00:10:26,087
- My mother-in-law
is lactating.
266
00:10:26,131 --> 00:10:27,339
- I'll have a beer.
267
00:10:27,466 --> 00:10:29,716
- Hey, want to hear
a derogatory joke
268
00:10:29,760 --> 00:10:30,759
About inventors?
269
00:10:30,844 --> 00:10:32,218
I assume you're also a king
270
00:10:32,304 --> 00:10:34,721
That paid to bring
his science dork here
271
00:10:34,806 --> 00:10:35,889
And got ditched?
272
00:10:35,932 --> 00:10:37,599
I'm minos from crete.
273
00:10:37,684 --> 00:10:40,727
- Tyrannis, krapopolis.
What's the joke?
274
00:10:40,812 --> 00:10:42,687
- What do you get
what an inventor
275
00:10:42,731 --> 00:10:44,481
Crosses your wife with a bull?
276
00:10:44,524 --> 00:10:49,069
A flesh-eating monstrosity that
has to be kept in a labyrinth.
277
00:10:49,154 --> 00:10:51,655
I guess you had to be there.
- Ah!
278
00:10:51,740 --> 00:10:53,323
Ugh, what is this?
279
00:10:53,367 --> 00:10:55,325
- Oh, you ordered the beer.
So sorry.
280
00:10:55,369 --> 00:10:57,035
- Well, don't give me
that one now.
281
00:10:57,079 --> 00:10:59,162
- New one's gonna take a while.
282
00:10:59,206 --> 00:11:02,916
- Then I'll have a free beer
while I wait.
283
00:11:03,001 --> 00:11:07,962
Non-kings.
- Oh, non-kings.
284
00:11:08,006 --> 00:11:10,215
- How long are you gonna
let this go on for?
285
00:11:10,300 --> 00:11:11,925
- I don't see
any downside to letting
286
00:11:11,968 --> 00:11:13,218
Your mother keep trying.
[villagers screaming]
287
00:11:13,261 --> 00:11:15,762
- I think they might see
a downside.
288
00:11:15,847 --> 00:11:19,432
- Damn it! Double damn it!
289
00:11:19,518 --> 00:11:20,725
[knocking]
290
00:11:20,769 --> 00:11:22,560
- What do you want?
291
00:11:22,646 --> 00:11:24,437
I've got to work this out
before the shipment
292
00:11:24,481 --> 00:11:27,315
Of new servants
gets here from thebes.
293
00:11:27,401 --> 00:11:29,109
- I think it might be time
for you to admit
294
00:11:29,194 --> 00:11:32,445
You don't know how to reverse
a medusa stoning
295
00:11:32,531 --> 00:11:33,655
And give up.
296
00:11:33,699 --> 00:11:35,156
- Hubris!
297
00:11:35,242 --> 00:11:37,117
[gasps]
what have I done?
298
00:11:37,160 --> 00:11:39,285
- Don't blame yourself.
This is mostly my fault.
299
00:11:39,371 --> 00:11:41,371
I saw you struggling,
and I let you go on
300
00:11:41,456 --> 00:11:43,373
Because I didn't want
to hurt your feelings.
301
00:11:43,458 --> 00:11:46,084
- No, I've been so consumed
with proving
302
00:11:46,128 --> 00:11:48,795
I could undo
athena's hacky monster nonsense
303
00:11:48,839 --> 00:11:51,131
That I overreacted a bit.
304
00:11:51,216 --> 00:11:53,174
- At least I know stupendous
won't eat me.
305
00:11:53,218 --> 00:11:57,470
That girl's never touched
a vegetable in her entire life.
306
00:12:03,019 --> 00:12:04,686
- Where have you been?
307
00:12:04,730 --> 00:12:06,229
Are you hungover?
308
00:12:06,273 --> 00:12:07,939
- It's called
still being drunk.
309
00:12:08,066 --> 00:12:09,232
There's a difference.
310
00:12:09,317 --> 00:12:11,192
- Hephaestus offered me a job.
311
00:12:11,278 --> 00:12:13,653
- So why are you even here?
- What's that mean?
312
00:12:13,697 --> 00:12:14,779
I want to talk to you about it.
313
00:12:14,906 --> 00:12:16,322
- You mean gloat about it.
314
00:12:16,366 --> 00:12:20,118
You want me to beg you
to do me the favor of breeding
315
00:12:20,162 --> 00:12:21,327
My wife with a bull?
316
00:12:21,371 --> 00:12:23,538
- When did you get either
of those things?
317
00:12:23,623 --> 00:12:24,831
- It's a metaphor.
318
00:12:24,875 --> 00:12:26,541
- You're the one
that called me useless!
319
00:12:26,585 --> 00:12:27,751
- Is that what I said?
320
00:12:27,919 --> 00:12:30,128
You're so creative
about remembering what I say,
321
00:12:30,213 --> 00:12:33,047
Do you remember me asking you
to invent written language?
322
00:12:33,091 --> 00:12:35,091
- It's a bad idea.
323
00:12:35,177 --> 00:12:36,718
- I'll have to take
your word for it.
324
00:12:36,803 --> 00:12:39,262
I guess everything I ask for
is beneath your genius,
325
00:12:39,347 --> 00:12:41,306
So it's no loss
to me if you quit.
326
00:12:41,391 --> 00:12:44,017
- Now there's an idea
I can get behind.
327
00:12:44,060 --> 00:12:45,477
- Wow.
I did it, everybody.
328
00:12:45,520 --> 00:12:49,022
I finally got smart enough
to know it's all about him.
329
00:12:49,107 --> 00:12:50,190
- Hate you!
- Hate you!
330
00:12:50,233 --> 00:12:51,691
- Nerd fight.
- Nerd fight.
331
00:12:51,735 --> 00:12:52,984
- Nerd fight.
332
00:12:53,028 --> 00:12:54,986
- Nerd fight.
- Guys, stop nerd fighting.
333
00:12:55,071 --> 00:12:56,988
- I'm a king.
- Okay, well--
334
00:12:57,073 --> 00:12:58,156
- I know I'm nerdy for a king.
335
00:12:58,200 --> 00:12:59,365
That doesn't make it
a nerd fight.
336
00:12:59,451 --> 00:13:02,285
- What's this all about?
- Just saying goodbye.
337
00:13:02,370 --> 00:13:04,788
- What about all your stuff?
- Give it away.
338
00:13:04,873 --> 00:13:08,333
- Even your fully articulated,
life-size wooden lady?
339
00:13:08,376 --> 00:13:09,584
- I don't know
what you're describing,
340
00:13:09,669 --> 00:13:11,920
But it sounds way less shameful
than snooping.
341
00:13:11,963 --> 00:13:13,213
Goodbye, tyrannis.
342
00:13:13,340 --> 00:13:14,923
- Oh, I'm not leaving just yet.
343
00:13:14,966 --> 00:13:17,133
I'm on an island
full of your replacements.
344
00:13:17,260 --> 00:13:19,093
- Is everything--
steven?
345
00:13:19,137 --> 00:13:21,971
- Ned, I heard
about your ned system.
346
00:13:22,057 --> 00:13:25,600
Sounds familiar.
- Easy, steven.
347
00:13:25,644 --> 00:13:27,602
[both grunting]
348
00:13:27,646 --> 00:13:29,437
- Nerd fight?
349
00:13:33,527 --> 00:13:36,361
- Hey, there's my superstar.
- Can't wait to start.
350
00:13:36,446 --> 00:13:38,696
- I know you're not a rule guy,
and you're in luck.
351
00:13:38,824 --> 00:13:39,697
There are none.
352
00:13:39,741 --> 00:13:41,157
- [laughs]
yeah!
353
00:13:41,201 --> 00:13:43,868
- Here's your workstation.
- Got it. What do I do first?
354
00:13:43,912 --> 00:13:45,954
- First, you never
ask that again.
355
00:13:46,039 --> 00:13:47,372
- Sorry.
- I really mean it, hippo.
356
00:13:47,499 --> 00:13:49,999
Your job here
is simply to create,
357
00:13:50,085 --> 00:13:52,126
Preferably three or four things
before sundown.
358
00:13:52,212 --> 00:13:53,711
And if anything
you come up with
359
00:13:53,797 --> 00:13:57,382
Becomes a hephaestus original,
well, there's upward movement.
360
00:13:57,467 --> 00:14:01,636
- So my job is to create
hephaestus originals?
361
00:14:01,680 --> 00:14:05,223
- Okay, don't flatter yourself.
I'm not exploiting you.
362
00:14:05,267 --> 00:14:08,226
By the time I'm done
making your stuff work,
363
00:14:08,270 --> 00:14:10,270
You'll be the one getting
the undeserved credit,
364
00:14:10,313 --> 00:14:12,146
Which trust me,
you will take
365
00:14:12,190 --> 00:14:14,148
When you leave me
for a better job.
366
00:14:14,234 --> 00:14:17,193
- Oh, I'm not gonna leave.
- Oh, yes, you will.
367
00:14:17,237 --> 00:14:20,154
You didn't get here by being
loyal to your stupid brother,
368
00:14:20,156 --> 00:14:21,948
Did you?
It's okay.
369
00:14:22,033 --> 00:14:24,993
I expect you to leave.
I'm not stupid.
370
00:14:25,036 --> 00:14:29,289
I'm arguably the god
of the opposite of stupid.
371
00:14:29,416 --> 00:14:31,791
And I'd rather work
with genuine talent
372
00:14:31,835 --> 00:14:34,377
Than phony sycophants!
373
00:14:34,421 --> 00:14:37,046
- Maybe I can be both.
- I welcome the attempt.
374
00:14:37,132 --> 00:14:38,840
People do earn my trust--
375
00:14:38,884 --> 00:14:40,717
To an extent.
376
00:14:40,719 --> 00:14:44,012
Aphrodite married me because
I have the only heart
377
00:14:44,139 --> 00:14:46,180
Even she can't find.
378
00:14:46,266 --> 00:14:48,516
- That's pretty dark, boss.
379
00:14:48,602 --> 00:14:49,809
- [laughs]
380
00:14:49,853 --> 00:14:51,144
We're pieces of work,
aren't we?
381
00:14:51,187 --> 00:14:54,147
Don't get back to work.
382
00:14:54,190 --> 00:14:56,900
- [sighs]
living the dream.
383
00:14:56,985 --> 00:14:59,986
- So you'd call yourself
a collaborative inventor?
384
00:15:00,071 --> 00:15:02,363
- Yes, I believe
it's more important
385
00:15:02,449 --> 00:15:05,575
To collaborate than innovate.
- Ah, so refreshing.
386
00:15:05,619 --> 00:15:08,077
I'm interested in my city
developing written language.
387
00:15:08,121 --> 00:15:09,954
- Nope, not a thing.
- Not a thing?
388
00:15:09,998 --> 00:15:13,333
- Human speak words
and they draw pictures.
389
00:15:13,418 --> 00:15:16,169
Nobody can draw
pictures of words.
390
00:15:16,296 --> 00:15:20,089
That's nonsense.
- And is this us collaborating?
391
00:15:20,216 --> 00:15:22,133
- Well,
there's collaborating,
392
00:15:22,218 --> 00:15:24,302
And there's indulging
childish fantasy.
393
00:15:24,387 --> 00:15:27,138
You see some futuristic world
where people are writing
394
00:15:27,182 --> 00:15:30,016
Everything down and,
what was the other thing?
395
00:15:30,101 --> 00:15:32,477
Pooping into tubes
that transport feces
396
00:15:32,520 --> 00:15:35,271
To a new location
after leaving the butt?
397
00:15:35,273 --> 00:15:37,148
- Well, you're making
it sound like--
398
00:15:37,192 --> 00:15:38,983
- Who even spends time
thinking about this?
399
00:15:39,069 --> 00:15:40,485
- Preferably someone
in your position.
400
00:15:40,528 --> 00:15:45,114
- Then I'm afraid
this interview is over.
401
00:15:45,200 --> 00:15:47,241
- You'll be back
to your stunning self
402
00:15:47,285 --> 00:15:49,118
In no time, darling,
but if you can,
403
00:15:49,204 --> 00:15:50,995
Do try not to snack on you.
404
00:15:51,081 --> 00:15:53,081
- As long as no one
invents ranch dressing
405
00:15:53,166 --> 00:15:55,291
In the near future,
I should be all right.
406
00:15:55,377 --> 00:15:57,835
- I'm glad you guys
are having personal growth,
407
00:15:57,879 --> 00:15:59,420
But felix has kids.
408
00:15:59,506 --> 00:16:02,548
- And that is why you should
take him to athena's temple,
409
00:16:02,592 --> 00:16:05,218
Which I now allow because
I am capable of everything,
410
00:16:05,303 --> 00:16:07,720
Including change.
- Okay.
411
00:16:07,806 --> 00:16:08,888
And you'll give me a ride there
412
00:16:09,015 --> 00:16:10,473
Since I could have walked
by now.
413
00:16:10,517 --> 00:16:11,391
- I was just vulnerable.
414
00:16:11,601 --> 00:16:13,017
You don't get two things.
Piss off.
415
00:16:13,061 --> 00:16:14,477
- That's on-brand.
416
00:16:14,521 --> 00:16:16,229
Would you at least keep
an eye on felix while I pack?
417
00:16:16,272 --> 00:16:19,107
- Fine.
- You're an amazing mother.
418
00:16:19,192 --> 00:16:21,150
- And you're still sexy,
even as part carrot.
419
00:16:21,236 --> 00:16:24,112
- Oh, you naughty deity.
Oh, yes.
420
00:16:24,155 --> 00:16:25,989
Now you're talking.
421
00:16:26,032 --> 00:16:27,907
No, I want him to watch.
422
00:16:27,993 --> 00:16:30,493
Very good.
Oh, yes.
423
00:16:30,620 --> 00:16:31,536
Oh, here we go.
424
00:16:31,621 --> 00:16:33,705
[indistinct chatter]
425
00:16:33,748 --> 00:16:36,124
- [sighs]
426
00:16:36,209 --> 00:16:38,084
What's the excitement?
427
00:16:38,211 --> 00:16:40,294
- There's a king interviewing
inventors at the dock.
428
00:16:40,338 --> 00:16:44,007
Whoever gets the job gets
an entire lab in his palace--
429
00:16:44,134 --> 00:16:46,259
With underground lair.
430
00:16:46,302 --> 00:16:48,386
- That's my--
definition of a nightmare,
431
00:16:48,430 --> 00:16:50,046
Probably in the middle
of nowhere.
432
00:16:50,098 --> 00:16:52,098
- Good.
Small pond, big fish.
433
00:16:52,142 --> 00:16:54,726
Sorry, is that offensive
to you?
434
00:16:54,811 --> 00:16:56,019
- I'll get over it.
435
00:16:56,104 --> 00:16:57,395
- I hear this king
is interested
436
00:16:57,480 --> 00:17:00,440
In some pretty out-there stuff:
A sewage system,
437
00:17:00,483 --> 00:17:01,983
Written language.
438
00:17:02,068 --> 00:17:03,985
- See, now that's offensive.
439
00:17:04,070 --> 00:17:05,528
I mean, is he a king
or a creative?
440
00:17:05,572 --> 00:17:08,031
Hephaestus doesn't even care
what we invent.
441
00:17:08,033 --> 00:17:09,198
- You got that right.
442
00:17:09,242 --> 00:17:10,742
- This king
you're talking about,
443
00:17:10,827 --> 00:17:12,160
He'll be all up in your stuff.
444
00:17:12,245 --> 00:17:13,995
How's it going?
What are you working on?
445
00:17:14,080 --> 00:17:15,288
I have thoughts.
446
00:17:15,415 --> 00:17:17,081
He's going to think
he owns you.
447
00:17:17,125 --> 00:17:20,251
- Free lab, room and board.
Um, own me, daddy.
448
00:17:20,336 --> 00:17:22,962
- Seriously, but please,
don't apply for the job.
449
00:17:23,006 --> 00:17:24,589
You'd just get it.
450
00:17:24,674 --> 00:17:26,966
- Yeah, it's always the people
that don't give a crap.
451
00:17:27,052 --> 00:17:30,011
[pensive music]
452
00:17:30,055 --> 00:17:35,683
♪ ♪
453
00:17:35,769 --> 00:17:38,728
- You can put your inventions
down wherever there's space.
454
00:17:38,772 --> 00:17:40,021
- Thanks.
What you working on?
455
00:17:40,106 --> 00:17:42,440
- A hat for hermes.
- Third one?
456
00:17:42,484 --> 00:17:43,399
- He had thoughts.
457
00:17:43,526 --> 00:17:46,194
- Hermes had thoughts
about his hat,
458
00:17:46,237 --> 00:17:48,029
And here,
you're surrounded by--
459
00:17:48,073 --> 00:17:49,739
What's this?
- I don't know.
460
00:17:49,824 --> 00:17:51,157
It's called a computer.
461
00:17:51,242 --> 00:17:53,284
It's a machine
that calculates--
462
00:17:53,328 --> 00:17:55,328
Why do you feel comfortable
interrupting me like this?
463
00:17:55,413 --> 00:17:57,205
Are you unfamiliar
with being fired?
464
00:17:57,248 --> 00:17:58,623
- I guess I've only ever quit.
465
00:17:58,708 --> 00:18:01,626
A machine that calculates?
- Oh, does that impress you?
466
00:18:01,669 --> 00:18:04,712
- It might be a little more
important than a third draft
467
00:18:04,756 --> 00:18:06,130
Of hermes's hat.
468
00:18:06,216 --> 00:18:07,799
- Well, can I show you
something even better?
469
00:18:07,842 --> 00:18:09,592
- Yeah!
470
00:18:09,636 --> 00:18:11,052
Dude?
471
00:18:11,137 --> 00:18:12,595
- Dude!
Wait.
472
00:18:12,680 --> 00:18:13,721
It gets better.
473
00:18:13,798 --> 00:18:14,889
Look at this.
474
00:18:14,974 --> 00:18:16,557
What do you think, dude?
475
00:18:16,601 --> 00:18:18,101
You like that, dude?
476
00:18:18,144 --> 00:18:19,352
- Why?
Why?
477
00:18:19,395 --> 00:18:22,230
- Because it's not
what you wanted.
478
00:18:22,273 --> 00:18:26,150
So now you understand,
you don't control me.
479
00:18:26,236 --> 00:18:28,402
- But hermes does?
- No!
480
00:18:28,488 --> 00:18:33,116
You insipid little fish man,
I control everything.
481
00:18:33,243 --> 00:18:37,411
I choose my jobs.
I choose my goals.
482
00:18:37,497 --> 00:18:40,957
I have already finished proving
I am better than everyone
483
00:18:41,042 --> 00:18:43,751
And that I don't need anyone.
484
00:18:43,837 --> 00:18:45,419
I guess
you haven't proven that?
485
00:18:45,463 --> 00:18:48,506
I have!
It's a thing you can prove.
486
00:18:48,550 --> 00:18:52,385
And do you know what I now
have decided to make happen?
487
00:18:52,470 --> 00:18:56,055
- You want them to like you.
- There you go, buddy!
488
00:18:56,141 --> 00:18:58,015
There you go.
489
00:18:58,059 --> 00:19:00,184
Is that okay with you?
490
00:19:01,146 --> 00:19:03,896
Remember when
your brother tried
491
00:19:03,982 --> 00:19:06,065
To protect you at the panel?
492
00:19:06,109 --> 00:19:11,737
Nobody in my family, nobody,
has done that for me.
493
00:19:13,867 --> 00:19:16,284
- Ty, wait!
494
00:19:16,369 --> 00:19:20,079
Ty!
- Hold on one moment.
495
00:19:20,123 --> 00:19:21,831
- Excuse me.
Excuse me.
496
00:19:21,875 --> 00:19:25,209
- Hippo!
- Ty!
497
00:19:25,295 --> 00:19:27,962
I'm sorry.
- I am too.
498
00:19:28,006 --> 00:19:29,422
What happened?
499
00:19:29,507 --> 00:19:31,424
- Well, I was definitely
right to change jobs
500
00:19:31,467 --> 00:19:33,176
Because I'm right
about everything,
501
00:19:33,261 --> 00:19:35,178
Which is why I had to leave.
502
00:19:35,263 --> 00:19:37,013
They found me
mentally intimidating
503
00:19:37,098 --> 00:19:39,640
And distracting sexually.
504
00:19:39,726 --> 00:19:42,059
- That's truly unbelievable.
505
00:19:42,103 --> 00:19:44,437
But I'm glad it happened
because you're irreplaceable.
506
00:19:44,564 --> 00:19:47,565
- I would have invented
your brains out.
507
00:19:47,692 --> 00:19:48,691
Lab wrecker.
508
00:19:50,111 --> 00:19:52,486
- Who was that?
- I didn't see anybody.
509
00:19:52,572 --> 00:19:55,740
- Hephaestus thanks you
for attending volcon.
510
00:19:55,825 --> 00:19:57,742
I am not an automaton.
511
00:19:57,827 --> 00:19:59,911
I am a living, suffering giant.
512
00:19:59,954 --> 00:20:01,287
Have a safe journey home.
513
00:20:01,372 --> 00:20:04,332
My joints are limited
to predefined movements
514
00:20:04,417 --> 00:20:06,959
Carried out by
a complex system of gears.
515
00:20:07,086 --> 00:20:09,754
We look forward
to seeing you next year.
516
00:20:09,839 --> 00:20:11,589
Enjoy your lives.
517
00:20:11,633 --> 00:20:12,757
They could be worse.
518
00:20:12,842 --> 00:20:14,133
I have a family.
519
00:20:14,177 --> 00:20:16,719
I'm a foodie.
I love to travel.
520
00:20:16,763 --> 00:20:21,349
Tell my story, but also,
tell the world about volcon.
521
00:20:21,392 --> 00:20:24,894
I have had an itch
on my back for over a year.
522
00:20:24,979 --> 00:20:27,021
Someone, please scratch it.
523
00:20:27,023 --> 00:20:29,273
And please,
come back to volcon.
524
00:20:29,359 --> 00:20:32,193
Before this,
I was a giant doctor.
525
00:20:32,278 --> 00:20:34,111
I saved people's lives,
526
00:20:34,155 --> 00:20:36,146
The way
you should save the date
527
00:20:36,157 --> 00:20:38,449
For next year's volcon.
528
00:20:53,216 --> 00:20:56,217
- Ah.
529
00:20:59,639 --> 00:21:02,598
[indistinct chatter]
530
00:21:06,062 --> 00:21:10,815
[sighs]
hello, print-con!
531
00:21:10,900 --> 00:21:12,149
I'm chris hardwick.
532
00:21:12,235 --> 00:21:14,860
I'm moderating this panel
and, due to a curse,
533
00:21:14,946 --> 00:21:16,979
All panels
until the end of time.
534
00:21:16,990 --> 00:21:19,740
But you didn't sleep
on a pile of plague rats
535
00:21:19,784 --> 00:21:21,575
For a month to hear about me.
536
00:21:21,619 --> 00:21:24,120
You're here
for the prince of the press,
537
00:21:24,205 --> 00:21:29,542
The mage of the page,
johann gutenberg!
538
00:21:29,836 --> 00:21:31,085
- Did you get any of that?
539
00:21:33,673 --> 00:21:35,131
- Bento.
39804
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