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1
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DATE BAIT
2
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Hey Beavis, check it out.
3
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Jean Gary Diablo.
4
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That was cool.
5
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Is he, like,
having a fit?
6
00:00:38,639 --> 00:00:41,438
- I kicked his ass.
- No way.
7
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I'm just resting.
8
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- Are y'all going to the movie?
- Uh-huh.
9
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Great. I'm Lolita, and
this here's Tanqueray.
10
00:00:54,254 --> 00:00:55,983
Can we be your
dates?
11
00:00:56,290 --> 00:00:58,588
You mean, like, sit
with us and stuff?
12
00:00:59,693 --> 00:01:01,227
Yeah! We're gonna score.
13
00:01:05,799 --> 00:01:06,832
Oh dear Lord!
14
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- Butt-Head, my stomach hurts.
- Yeah.
15
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Come on, Butt-Head, change it.
This is, like, making my stomach hurt.
16
00:01:21,715 --> 00:01:24,741
I think this is, like,
the Traveling Wilburys.
17
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The Traveling Dingleberries?
18
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I had one of those once,
it traveled all over my butt.
19
00:01:32,759 --> 00:01:34,620
Come on Butt-Head, change it.
20
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I think it's, like, bad for the TV when
you, like, play this kind of stuff on it.
21
00:01:39,333 --> 00:01:42,332
Yeah. I think it, like,
messes up the tape.
22
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Is this the Benny Hill Show?
23
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- No, there aren't any chicks in bikinis.
- Oh yeah.
24
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Hey, this is Primus!
25
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"My name is M-M-M-M-M-Mud!"
26
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Yeah.
27
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Maybe this guy will spit again.
28
00:02:02,723 --> 00:02:06,455
If I had my druthers,
I'd screw a chimpanzee…
29
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Whoa, did you hear that?
30
00:02:08,495 --> 00:02:12,825
I think he just said "If I had my
druthers, I'd screw a chimpanzee".
31
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Really?
32
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Hey Butt-Head, let's go get some druthers.
33
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You know what this video
needs? It needs, like, a toilet.
34
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Why would they put a
toilet in here, Beavis?
35
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It doesn't have anything
to do with toilets. It's about…
36
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- I don't know.
- I don't care.
37
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Check it out Butt-Head, Rock 'em
Sock 'em Robots. Kick 'em in the nads!
38
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Robots don't have nads, dumb ass!
39
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Mine do. I glued 'em on.
40
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I put nads on all my action figures.
41
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I use, like, BBs and raisins and stuff.
42
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That's disgusting, Beavis!
43
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- Cool!
- Yeah.
44
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Snot is cool!
45
00:03:00,981 --> 00:03:05,077
Yeah, yeah. They should just, like,
blow some snot into the crowd
46
00:03:05,078 --> 00:03:07,953
and then I think they might,
like, pass it around and stuff.
47
00:03:07,954 --> 00:03:09,215
Beavis, you dumbass.
48
00:03:09,790 --> 00:03:11,986
Look! A toilet! A toilet!
49
00:03:12,793 --> 00:03:15,690
See, Butt-Head? I told you.
That toilet is cool.
50
00:03:16,797 --> 00:03:17,821
Okay, Beavis.
51
00:03:23,503 --> 00:03:26,404
If you're not interested,
we can get other dates.
52
00:03:28,809 --> 00:03:31,100
Do we have to,
like, buy you stuff?
53
00:03:32,312 --> 00:03:35,011
No. Just give us your tickets,
54
00:03:35,015 --> 00:03:38,910
then go 'round to the back and
we'll let you in through the exit doors.
55
00:03:39,119 --> 00:03:42,056
Hey Butt-Head.
This is, like, complicated and stuff.
56
00:03:42,057 --> 00:03:43,922
Shut up, assmunch.
57
00:03:44,658 --> 00:03:45,750
Check this out.
58
00:03:47,327 --> 00:03:49,522
How do we know you're
gonna let us in?
59
00:03:50,430 --> 00:03:55,266
- Well, give us your money.
- Yeah. For collateral.
60
00:03:57,671 --> 00:04:01,965
- They're pretty smart, dude.
- That's why they're going out with us.
61
00:04:03,176 --> 00:04:04,773
See you there.
62
00:04:09,583 --> 00:04:11,481
This is gonna
be cool.
63
00:04:23,530 --> 00:04:27,325
Hey Butt-Head. I bet those chicks are
gonna want to hold hands with us.
64
00:04:28,502 --> 00:04:32,029
Yeah. But that's
not all they'll hold.
65
00:04:35,108 --> 00:04:37,242
They'll, like, hold our
popcorn and stuff, too.
66
00:04:38,845 --> 00:04:41,542
Beavis, are you sure
you're ready for this?
67
00:04:43,116 --> 00:04:44,247
Dumbass.
68
00:04:48,922 --> 00:04:51,422
Hey Butt-Head, what do
you think they're doing now?
69
00:04:53,026 --> 00:04:54,116
I don't know.
70
00:04:55,061 --> 00:04:57,261
Maybe they're putting
on some more make-up.
71
00:04:58,031 --> 00:05:00,263
- They want to look good for us.
- Yeah.
72
00:05:01,301 --> 00:05:02,769
Come to Butt-Head.
73
00:05:04,771 --> 00:05:06,170
This is gonna
be cool.
74
00:05:12,179 --> 00:05:14,379
Those chicks are pretty
lucky they found us.
75
00:05:15,682 --> 00:05:17,776
It's like, a good man
is hard to find.
76
00:05:20,887 --> 00:05:22,013
You said "hard".
77
00:05:23,089 --> 00:05:24,178
Yeah.
78
00:05:32,199 --> 00:05:35,000
- They must be putting on a lot of make-up.
- Yeah.
79
00:05:35,802 --> 00:05:38,230
They probably look
really hot by now.
80
00:05:52,719 --> 00:05:54,746
Is it time
for our date?
81
00:05:55,455 --> 00:05:57,651
The movie's
over, dumbass.
82
00:05:59,159 --> 00:06:00,483
Where's our money?
83
00:06:00,894 --> 00:06:04,459
We had to get some popcorn
and stuff for our friends.
84
00:06:04,464 --> 00:06:07,525
- God, you're stingy.
- Yeah, man.
85
00:06:07,567 --> 00:06:11,203
If it wasn't raining, I'd be
kicking your ass right now.
86
00:06:15,475 --> 00:06:18,772
Come on, Beavis. Let's go
check out the movie anyways.
87
00:06:20,313 --> 00:06:23,383
Hey punk. You trying to sneak in?
88
00:06:24,317 --> 00:06:25,682
Yeah?
89
00:06:31,791 --> 00:06:33,183
That was cool.
90
00:06:39,432 --> 00:06:41,958
Hey look, it's another one
of those heavy metal videos
91
00:06:41,959 --> 00:06:44,560
with a naked dude all
curled up on the floor.
92
00:06:50,243 --> 00:06:51,704
Was that a bear?
93
00:06:55,315 --> 00:06:56,712
Yeah, I think so.
94
00:07:00,887 --> 00:07:03,886
Hey, check it out, it's that dude
from Andy of Mayberry.
95
00:07:03,890 --> 00:07:05,683
Oh yeah. You mean Barney?
96
00:07:06,293 --> 00:07:09,893
"Well, Andy, I'm gonna go over to
Mount Pilot and worship Satan".
97
00:07:10,897 --> 00:07:14,265
- That doesn't sound like him, Beavis.
- Shut up, Butt-Head!
98
00:07:15,368 --> 00:07:17,500
Hey Beavis, I just thought of something.
99
00:07:18,171 --> 00:07:20,669
Goober spelled backwards is "booger".
100
00:07:21,875 --> 00:07:25,106
Oh yeah. That's cool.
101
00:07:28,081 --> 00:07:29,480
So, like, um,
102
00:07:29,783 --> 00:07:32,013
so like, what's booger spelled backwards?
103
00:07:32,218 --> 00:07:33,913
Uh, let's see...
104
00:07:36,189 --> 00:07:37,288
I don't know.
105
00:07:41,695 --> 00:07:42,794
Cool!
106
00:07:48,835 --> 00:07:51,797
This is where it starts
to get really stupid.
107
00:07:53,640 --> 00:07:57,406
Bow to me faithfully.
108
00:07:57,811 --> 00:08:00,246
Bow to me… uh…
109
00:08:00,947 --> 00:08:04,440
Bow to me faithfully.
110
00:08:04,484 --> 00:08:07,852
Bow to me faithfully.
111
00:08:11,658 --> 00:08:14,958
- Bow to me faithfully.
- Bow to me faithfully.
112
00:08:15,862 --> 00:08:19,594
Bow to me splendidly.
113
00:08:19,666 --> 00:08:22,567
Bow to me splendidly.
114
00:08:23,303 --> 00:08:25,469
Bow to me splendidly?
115
00:08:26,406 --> 00:08:27,864
What does that mean?
116
00:08:43,423 --> 00:08:45,687
From the makers of
"Silas Murder,"
117
00:08:46,092 --> 00:08:49,926
Jean Gary Diablo
is "Murder March".
118
00:08:50,096 --> 00:08:52,531
Coming soon to a theater
near you.
119
00:08:52,999 --> 00:08:54,025
Cool.
120
00:08:54,501 --> 00:08:56,697
That looks like a good
movie to take chicks to.
121
00:08:57,837 --> 00:09:00,465
Yeah. We're there.
122
00:09:01,474 --> 00:09:03,569
We better bring more
money this time.
123
00:09:05,145 --> 00:09:06,879
Then we'll score.
124
00:09:18,892 --> 00:09:20,257
Families.
125
00:09:22,595 --> 00:09:24,586
Yeah. Family!
126
00:09:29,969 --> 00:09:32,634
If these guys were my neighbors
I'd wait until late at night
127
00:09:32,635 --> 00:09:35,560
and then, like, sneak over
and take a swim in their pool.
128
00:09:37,177 --> 00:09:40,176
I think they should probably,
like, change the water first.
129
00:09:40,313 --> 00:09:42,381
No way Butt-Head, that water rules!
130
00:09:44,684 --> 00:09:48,683
They should put one of those signs that says, like:
"We don't take a dump on your pool,
131
00:09:48,688 --> 00:09:52,784
- don't take a dump on our toilet".
- That's not how the sign goes, Butt-Head.
132
00:09:52,826 --> 00:09:55,352
It's like... "We pee in your pool,
133
00:09:55,353 --> 00:09:57,544
so please take a dump on our toilet".
134
00:09:57,797 --> 00:10:00,129
No butthole, that's not it.
135
00:10:00,233 --> 00:10:04,436
It's "We don't pee in your toilet,
so please don't swim on our pool".
136
00:10:04,938 --> 00:10:06,899
No, that's not it either, dumbass.
137
00:10:07,107 --> 00:10:10,270
It's "We just crapped in your pool,
138
00:10:10,310 --> 00:10:12,007
so, like, can we use your toilet?"
139
00:10:14,214 --> 00:10:15,811
Yeah, I think that's it.
140
00:10:32,966 --> 00:10:34,529
What's he's screaming about?
141
00:10:35,034 --> 00:10:36,866
Turd water doesn't taste that bad.
142
00:10:38,037 --> 00:10:39,736
Pollution is cool.
143
00:10:42,242 --> 00:10:43,873
I like garbage too.
10580
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