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1
00:00:07,415 --> 00:00:09,999
Haskell, you simply must try this ravioli.
2
00:00:10,000 --> 00:00:12,084
I suggested that the chef add pecans
3
00:00:12,085 --> 00:00:13,502
to the beurre blanc sauce.
4
00:00:13,503 --> 00:00:16,622
It's gone from uninspired to sublime.
5
00:00:16,623 --> 00:00:19,591
Save it for your diary, Gladys.
6
00:00:19,592 --> 00:00:22,177
I'm just trying to enhance
the dining experience around here.
7
00:00:22,178 --> 00:00:24,129
Not that I'm looking for any credit.
8
00:00:24,130 --> 00:00:25,714
Are you enjoying that, sir?
9
00:00:25,715 --> 00:00:27,683
That's my sauce in your mouth.
10
00:00:32,189 --> 00:00:33,389
- Hey, Eden.
- Hey.
11
00:00:33,390 --> 00:00:35,808
I just left Holly. She
is off on another date.
12
00:00:35,809 --> 00:00:38,777
Mm, still hell bent on
finding a husband in six months?
13
00:00:38,778 --> 00:00:40,946
Mm-hmm, yeah, and the
search is gonna kill me.
14
00:00:40,947 --> 00:00:44,116
"Eden, talk me up to that guy.
Eden, find out if he's single.
15
00:00:44,117 --> 00:00:48,404
Eden, pull up my spanx.
I'm taking another lap."
16
00:00:48,405 --> 00:00:50,322
You'd think that little desert rose
17
00:00:50,323 --> 00:00:53,292
would have been hitched by now.
18
00:00:53,293 --> 00:00:54,460
Well, who knows? I mean, you know,
19
00:00:54,461 --> 00:00:55,461
maybe it'll all be worth it.
20
00:00:55,462 --> 00:00:56,962
Maybe this guy is the one.
21
00:00:56,963 --> 00:00:59,498
Well, that was a bust.
22
00:00:59,499 --> 00:01:01,133
I just left you five minutes ago.
23
00:01:01,134 --> 00:01:03,335
What could possibly have gone wrong?
24
00:01:03,336 --> 00:01:07,639
He tooted and blamed me.
25
00:01:07,640 --> 00:01:09,508
- Who's next, Eden?
- There is no next.
26
00:01:09,509 --> 00:01:10,843
- What?
- There has to be a next.
27
00:01:10,844 --> 00:01:12,728
I'm getting married at the
lake house in six months.
28
00:01:12,729 --> 00:01:14,897
I need men. I need them now.
29
00:01:14,898 --> 00:01:16,148
You know what your problem is?
30
00:01:16,149 --> 00:01:18,100
- Tread lightly, my friend.
- Oh.
31
00:01:18,101 --> 00:01:20,486
You want to meet men?
You go where they hang out.
32
00:01:20,487 --> 00:01:22,104
Your sports bars, your race tracks,
33
00:01:22,105 --> 00:01:26,358
your prostate awareness fairs.
34
00:01:26,359 --> 00:01:29,027
Or, perhaps, uh, the learning annex.
35
00:01:29,028 --> 00:01:30,195
Yeah, last month, I took a class
36
00:01:30,196 --> 00:01:31,864
on the history of German opera.
37
00:01:31,865 --> 00:01:34,533
It was wall-to-wall men.
38
00:01:34,534 --> 00:01:39,171
What opera was it?
Der-sausage-fest?
39
00:01:39,172 --> 00:01:41,507
You know, Janice in accounting
met her husband there
40
00:01:41,508 --> 00:01:42,875
in a bicycle repair class.
41
00:01:42,876 --> 00:01:45,377
Ooh, and she's older than dirt.
42
00:01:45,378 --> 00:01:46,879
Actually, she's just a few years...
43
00:01:46,880 --> 00:01:48,680
Enough about Janice.
44
00:01:48,681 --> 00:01:50,466
All right, let's go to the learning annex.
45
00:01:50,467 --> 00:01:52,718
- Mama needs a husband.
- Why do I have to go?
46
00:01:52,719 --> 00:01:54,052
Because I need you to
talk me up to the guys,
47
00:01:54,053 --> 00:01:56,105
you know, make them
excited about meeting me.
48
00:01:56,106 --> 00:01:58,974
What am I, a carnival barker?
49
00:01:58,975 --> 00:02:00,192
"Step right up! Meet the tallest,
50
00:02:00,193 --> 00:02:02,561
most available woman in the world!"
51
00:02:02,562 --> 00:02:04,780
All right, come on.
52
00:02:04,781 --> 00:02:06,398
Ooh, Holly, Eden. Eden, I gotta...
53
00:02:06,399 --> 00:02:08,901
Move or marry me! Take your pick.
54
00:02:08,902 --> 00:02:11,820
Stepping aside.
55
00:02:11,821 --> 00:02:13,906
Guys, guys, I've got great news.
56
00:02:13,907 --> 00:02:15,908
I just got asked to be
a guest on fair catch.
57
00:02:15,909 --> 00:02:17,075
Oh, way to go!
58
00:02:17,076 --> 00:02:18,911
Bravo, Phil. That's a big deal.
59
00:02:18,912 --> 00:02:20,379
They want an agent to take on the draft,
60
00:02:20,380 --> 00:02:22,915
so they asked Phil Chase
of the Phil Chase agency,
61
00:02:22,916 --> 00:02:24,750
which is pretty exciting because, you know,
62
00:02:24,751 --> 00:02:27,419
I'm Phil Chase.
63
00:02:27,420 --> 00:02:29,922
Hey, if you need some on-air tips, I mean,
64
00:02:29,923 --> 00:02:32,891
during my bowling days, I was
a much sought-after interview.
65
00:02:32,892 --> 00:02:35,427
Yeah, it's all about
making love to the camera.
66
00:02:44,155 --> 00:02:49,274
Yeah, some were mesmerized
and others cancelled their cable.
67
00:02:49,275 --> 00:02:51,994
Okay, well, I ain't gonna do that!
68
00:02:51,995 --> 00:02:53,695
Hey, uh, let's celebrate!
69
00:02:53,696 --> 00:02:57,082
Yes. And what better
way than with some ravioli?
70
00:02:57,083 --> 00:02:58,784
No, I was thinking more like cristal.
71
00:02:58,785 --> 00:03:00,586
Mm-hmm, which would pair wonderfully
72
00:03:00,587 --> 00:03:03,288
with this droll yet whimsical ravioli.
73
00:03:03,289 --> 00:03:04,289
- Come on, take a bite.
- No.
74
00:03:04,290 --> 00:03:05,424
- Just try it.
- I don't wanna.
75
00:03:05,425 --> 00:03:07,125
- Come on, come on, come on.
- All right.
76
00:03:07,126 --> 00:03:08,877
Ow!
77
00:03:08,878 --> 00:03:10,963
- What's wrong?
- I think I broke a tooth.
78
00:03:10,964 --> 00:03:14,766
What kind of idiot puts nuts in ravioli?
79
00:03:14,767 --> 00:03:16,802
I would answer, but I
think it's best if the idiot
80
00:03:16,803 --> 00:03:18,387
speaks for himself.
81
00:03:18,388 --> 00:03:19,805
All right, let me see. Smile.
82
00:03:23,310 --> 00:03:25,143
Oh.
83
00:03:25,144 --> 00:03:27,446
Okay, uh, we better get you to my office.
84
00:03:27,447 --> 00:03:28,647
What? How bad is it?
85
00:03:28,648 --> 00:03:29,648
I've seen worse.
86
00:03:29,649 --> 00:03:33,068
On what? A pumpkin?
87
00:03:33,069 --> 00:03:34,069
[Upbeat music]
88
00:03:38,780 --> 00:03:42,493
- Sync and corrections by brayanatsix -
- www.addic7ed.com -
89
00:03:48,002 --> 00:03:50,836
Ah, here we are.
"How to barbecue like a pro."
90
00:03:50,837 --> 00:03:52,554
This place will be crawling with men.
91
00:03:52,555 --> 00:03:54,806
- How do I look?
- Desperate.
92
00:03:54,807 --> 00:03:56,508
Perfect. This is no time for subtlety.
93
00:03:56,509 --> 00:03:59,344
In fact, I'm gonna slap on
another layer of lip gloss.
94
00:03:59,345 --> 00:04:00,562
Men like shiny.
95
00:04:00,563 --> 00:04:01,897
Okay, well, don't overdo it.
96
00:04:01,898 --> 00:04:04,233
You're trying to sell hot
blonde, not hot mess.
97
00:04:12,109 --> 00:04:14,660
If everyone will please
take a seat, we'll get started.
98
00:04:18,198 --> 00:04:19,531
Oh, I'm so sorry.
99
00:04:23,587 --> 00:04:24,920
- You're new here.
- Yeah.
100
00:04:24,921 --> 00:04:27,789
I'm so psyched to take this class.
101
00:04:27,790 --> 00:04:30,208
Welcome to grief support for spouses.
102
00:04:32,513 --> 00:04:36,465
I'm Wendy Taylor, and for
those of you new to our group,
103
00:04:36,466 --> 00:04:37,799
we're glad you're here.
104
00:04:37,800 --> 00:04:40,269
Oh, I should go. I don't belong here.
105
00:04:40,270 --> 00:04:43,305
We all feel that way at first.
Just give it a chance.
106
00:04:43,306 --> 00:04:45,390
So, who would like to start?
107
00:04:45,391 --> 00:04:47,442
I'll go.
108
00:04:47,443 --> 00:04:50,062
This morning, I woke
up, and for the first time,
109
00:04:50,063 --> 00:04:52,564
I didn't think about my wife.
110
00:04:52,565 --> 00:04:54,900
I feel like I'm finally ready
to move on, meet someone,
111
00:04:54,901 --> 00:04:57,452
and one day get married.
112
00:04:57,453 --> 00:05:00,122
Well, it would be rude just to leave.
113
00:05:00,123 --> 00:05:03,075
Because of all your help and support,
I'm finally in a place
114
00:05:03,076 --> 00:05:06,662
where I can say good-bye
to my beloved wife, Lisa.
115
00:05:06,663 --> 00:05:08,380
Good-bye, Lisa.
116
00:05:08,381 --> 00:05:11,249
So long, Lisa.
117
00:05:11,250 --> 00:05:14,503
Thank you, Jeff. We are
all very happy for you.
118
00:05:14,504 --> 00:05:16,338
Would our newcomer like to share?
119
00:05:16,339 --> 00:05:18,473
Me? No. No, I'm good.
120
00:05:18,474 --> 00:05:20,058
Who's next?
121
00:05:20,059 --> 00:05:23,345
Don't be scared. I'm here for you.
122
00:05:23,346 --> 00:05:27,265
My husband's dead. Dead as a doornail.
123
00:05:35,259 --> 00:05:38,761
Good morning, my little blonde confection.
124
00:05:38,762 --> 00:05:40,346
What the hell happened last night?
125
00:05:40,347 --> 00:05:42,565
You ditched me in that barbecue class.
126
00:05:42,566 --> 00:05:44,600
At least you had all the guys to yourself.
127
00:05:44,601 --> 00:05:46,269
What guys? You weren't the only one
128
00:05:46,270 --> 00:05:49,105
with the bright idea to
take that class to meet men.
129
00:05:49,106 --> 00:05:51,774
Okay? I was stuck with 15 bitter women
130
00:05:51,775 --> 00:05:55,411
pounding the crap out of a flank steak.
131
00:05:55,412 --> 00:05:57,864
Eden, I met someone.
132
00:05:57,865 --> 00:06:00,950
He's gorgeous and sensitive,
and the cherry on the sundae
133
00:06:00,951 --> 00:06:03,452
is his wife is dead.
134
00:06:03,453 --> 00:06:06,339
What? When I left you,
you were in the hallway
135
00:06:06,340 --> 00:06:07,957
slathering on lip gloss.
136
00:06:07,958 --> 00:06:09,458
Where did you meet this guy?
137
00:06:09,459 --> 00:06:13,513
In my grief support group.
138
00:06:13,514 --> 00:06:15,882
What did you do?
139
00:06:15,883 --> 00:06:17,133
Nothing much. Look.
140
00:06:17,134 --> 00:06:19,552
I followed a really cute guy into a class
141
00:06:19,553 --> 00:06:21,020
and he started talking about his dead wife
142
00:06:21,021 --> 00:06:24,857
and how he was ready to get married again.
143
00:06:24,858 --> 00:06:26,359
Oh, no, please don't tell me
144
00:06:26,360 --> 00:06:29,061
that you passed yourself off as a widow.
145
00:06:29,062 --> 00:06:30,530
Have a little empathy, Eden.
146
00:06:30,531 --> 00:06:32,148
You're talking to a woman
who just lost her husband
147
00:06:32,149 --> 00:06:34,567
in an avalanche!
148
00:06:34,568 --> 00:06:36,953
Oh, my god! This is insane even for you.
149
00:06:36,954 --> 00:06:38,487
You know, sooner or later,
you're gonna have to
150
00:06:38,488 --> 00:06:40,156
- tell him the truth.
- Oh, I plan on it.
151
00:06:40,157 --> 00:06:43,459
On our honeymoon in St. Bart's.
152
00:06:43,460 --> 00:06:44,961
Your honeymoon in St. Bart's?
153
00:06:44,962 --> 00:06:46,329
Well, we're certainly not going skiing.
154
00:06:46,330 --> 00:06:48,331
I already lost one
husband to that damn mountain!
155
00:06:48,332 --> 00:06:50,833
I'm not losing another!
156
00:06:56,341 --> 00:06:57,640
Ah, there he is.
157
00:06:57,641 --> 00:06:58,674
How's my brave little patient this morning?
158
00:06:58,675 --> 00:07:00,560
Great! [Lisping] Awethome.
159
00:07:02,897 --> 00:07:06,515
Why am I thaying "awethome"?
Why am I thaying "thaying"?
160
00:07:06,516 --> 00:07:09,068
Oh, my god, why am I lithping!
161
00:07:09,069 --> 00:07:11,354
Calm down. I put a cap on your tooth.
162
00:07:11,355 --> 00:07:13,689
Sometimes it takes a little while
for the tongue to adjust.
163
00:07:13,690 --> 00:07:15,157
Well, how long'th a while?
164
00:07:15,158 --> 00:07:19,028
I can't go on TV thounding
like thindy Brady.
165
00:07:19,029 --> 00:07:21,197
Don't worry. You'll be fine by tomorrow.
166
00:07:21,198 --> 00:07:23,082
If you want something
to really be upset about,
167
00:07:23,083 --> 00:07:25,952
wait till you get my bill.
168
00:07:25,953 --> 00:07:28,421
Jokesth! He's making jokesth!
169
00:07:28,422 --> 00:07:30,456
Phil, perhaps I can be of assistance.
170
00:07:30,457 --> 00:07:34,010
It just so happens that
I had a lisp as a child.
171
00:07:34,011 --> 00:07:35,928
- You did?
- Oh, yes.
172
00:07:35,929 --> 00:07:38,264
I still have the scars of my youth...
173
00:07:38,265 --> 00:07:42,351
The mocking, the taunting,
the laughing in my face.
174
00:07:42,352 --> 00:07:45,354
Mother could be so cruel.
175
00:07:45,355 --> 00:07:48,190
I'm thorry, Haskell, that thuckth.
176
00:07:48,191 --> 00:07:51,560
It just made me all the
more determined to lose my lisp.
177
00:07:51,561 --> 00:07:54,563
I discovered that if I practiced s-words,
178
00:07:54,564 --> 00:07:57,233
that I could train my
tongue to speak properly.
179
00:07:57,234 --> 00:07:59,452
Now, repeat after me:
180
00:07:59,453 --> 00:08:02,405
Silly Sally saw a silver seashell
on the Sandy seaside
181
00:08:02,406 --> 00:08:04,957
sparkling in the sun.
182
00:08:04,958 --> 00:08:06,959
Thilly thally thaw a thilver theashell
183
00:08:06,960 --> 00:08:11,047
on the thandy
theathide thparkling in the thun.
184
00:08:11,048 --> 00:08:12,748
Mother was right.
185
00:08:12,749 --> 00:08:16,836
It's hilarious! [Laughs]
186
00:08:16,837 --> 00:08:18,921
That's so crazy!
187
00:08:26,314 --> 00:08:27,313
Hey, Holly.
188
00:08:27,314 --> 00:08:30,016
Oh, hi, Jeff. Thanks for meeting me.
189
00:08:30,017 --> 00:08:33,152
Of course. So what's up?
190
00:08:33,153 --> 00:08:35,688
Well, I know that group
isn't until tomorrow, but I just...
191
00:08:35,689 --> 00:08:37,823
I felt like I needed some extra comfort.
192
00:08:37,824 --> 00:08:39,825
I mean, I feel so alone.
193
00:08:39,826 --> 00:08:42,495
You must have loved him very much.
194
00:08:42,496 --> 00:08:44,363
Who?
195
00:08:44,364 --> 00:08:46,282
Your husband.
196
00:08:46,283 --> 00:08:49,452
Oh, yes, of course, my husband, yes.
197
00:08:49,453 --> 00:08:51,253
You know, sometimes I just
want to forget about him.
198
00:08:51,254 --> 00:08:52,788
Does that make me a horrible person?
199
00:08:52,789 --> 00:08:55,675
No! No, no, no, no. It makes you human.
200
00:08:55,676 --> 00:09:00,096
We each process grief in our
own way and in our own time.
201
00:09:00,097 --> 00:09:01,764
I mean, it took me years to get over lisa.
202
00:09:01,765 --> 00:09:05,634
Years? I don't have that kind of time.
203
00:09:05,635 --> 00:09:07,770
I mean, that's not what my
husband would have wanted.
204
00:09:07,771 --> 00:09:10,473
In fact, I'll never forget his dying words.
205
00:09:10,474 --> 00:09:14,443
I thought he died in an avalanche.
206
00:09:14,444 --> 00:09:16,195
Yes. Yes, he did.
207
00:09:16,196 --> 00:09:20,232
But thanks to an intrepid Saint Bernard...
208
00:09:20,233 --> 00:09:23,119
Who was able to clear
the snow from his mouth,
209
00:09:23,120 --> 00:09:26,322
I got to hear him say, "Holly,
you are an amazing,
210
00:09:26,323 --> 00:09:30,826
"brilliant woman who is incredible in bed.
211
00:09:30,827 --> 00:09:32,461
"Don't mourn me. Find someone.
212
00:09:32,462 --> 00:09:34,497
"Fall in love. Get married.
213
00:09:34,498 --> 00:09:36,382
Brr."
214
00:09:39,337 --> 00:09:41,837
You know, Holly, in a way,
you remind me of lisa.
215
00:09:41,838 --> 00:09:43,222
- Do I really?
- Yeah.
216
00:09:43,223 --> 00:09:47,393
She was funny, and beautiful,
strong, just like you.
217
00:09:47,394 --> 00:09:48,511
Aww.
218
00:09:48,512 --> 00:09:50,062
Would you like to see a picture?
219
00:09:50,063 --> 00:09:53,315
- Sure.
- Hmm.
220
00:09:53,316 --> 00:09:54,900
Oh, she's lovely.
221
00:09:54,901 --> 00:09:58,604
Anyway, life goes on.
222
00:09:58,605 --> 00:09:59,688
Do you have a picture?
223
00:09:59,689 --> 00:10:01,774
Of who?
224
00:10:01,775 --> 00:10:03,943
Oh, my husband! Yes, of course I do.
225
00:10:03,944 --> 00:10:05,361
Why wouldn't I?
226
00:10:05,362 --> 00:10:06,862
May I see it?
227
00:10:06,863 --> 00:10:10,866
Sure.
228
00:10:10,867 --> 00:10:11,917
Oh...
229
00:10:11,918 --> 00:10:13,669
Oh, that'll work.
230
00:10:13,670 --> 00:10:17,373
My Stuart on new year's Eve. [Chuckles]
231
00:10:17,374 --> 00:10:20,626
Oh, my god! That's Stuart Gardner!
232
00:10:20,627 --> 00:10:23,295
He's my dentist, and he's dead!
233
00:10:23,296 --> 00:10:26,849
Oh, I'm so sorry,
Holly. I'm just so shocked.
234
00:10:26,850 --> 00:10:28,884
Not as shocked as I am.
235
00:10:36,426 --> 00:10:38,175
So, today's the big day.
236
00:10:38,176 --> 00:10:40,344
How's my star pupil? Lay it on me.
237
00:10:40,345 --> 00:10:41,729
Okay.
238
00:10:41,730 --> 00:10:43,347
- [No lisp] Silly Sally...
- Yeah.
239
00:10:43,348 --> 00:10:45,816
- Saw a silver seashell...
- Ahh.
240
00:10:45,817 --> 00:10:49,487
[Lisping] On the
thandy theathide... damn it!
241
00:10:49,488 --> 00:10:51,856
Thtuart, you thaid thith
was gonna be gone and it'th not.
242
00:10:51,857 --> 00:10:53,941
I know, I know. It's
usually resolved by now.
243
00:10:53,942 --> 00:10:55,025
I'm sorry, Phil.
244
00:10:55,026 --> 00:10:56,527
I wish there was something I could do.
245
00:10:56,528 --> 00:10:58,245
What am I gonna do?
I'm gonna be on live TV.
246
00:10:58,246 --> 00:11:01,031
Phil, I can help.
247
00:11:01,032 --> 00:11:04,118
Let me teach you this trick
that I learned when I used to lisp.
248
00:11:04,119 --> 00:11:07,588
Avoid s-words at all costs.
249
00:11:07,589 --> 00:11:10,174
Don't say "super bowl." Say "big game."
250
00:11:10,175 --> 00:11:13,010
It's not a "stadium." It's an "arena."
251
00:11:13,011 --> 00:11:15,713
And Stuart didn't "sabotage" you.
252
00:11:15,714 --> 00:11:17,381
He "ruined your life."
253
00:11:20,937 --> 00:11:23,387
Well, that was a little hurtful.
254
00:11:23,388 --> 00:11:25,022
But it might actually work.
255
00:11:25,023 --> 00:11:27,975
Well, it better, or it'th your ath.
256
00:11:27,976 --> 00:11:29,059
Hey, guys.
257
00:11:29,060 --> 00:11:31,395
Oh, wow, you look nice. Where you going?
258
00:11:31,396 --> 00:11:34,648
I'm gonna be a guetht thtar on fair catch.
259
00:11:34,649 --> 00:11:36,233
Okay, well, you be careful out there
260
00:11:36,234 --> 00:11:40,321
'cause I tawt I taw a puddy cat.
261
00:11:40,322 --> 00:11:41,789
Hey, Stuart, you got a minute?
262
00:11:41,790 --> 00:11:43,958
Yes, come on in. Come on in.
263
00:11:43,959 --> 00:11:45,993
Okay, I forgot to ask you,
how was your class?
264
00:11:45,994 --> 00:11:48,662
Oh, well, I met a guy. He's wonderful.
265
00:11:48,663 --> 00:11:50,748
That's great, Holly!
When do I get to meet him?
266
00:11:50,749 --> 00:11:52,583
Okay, here's the thing.
267
00:11:52,584 --> 00:11:55,419
Um, I met him in a grief support group
268
00:11:55,420 --> 00:11:58,422
and I kind of had to
pretend like I had a dead husband.
269
00:11:58,423 --> 00:12:01,592
Oh, my god. That's unconsciousable.
270
00:12:01,593 --> 00:12:04,762
This is the worst thing you've ever done.
271
00:12:04,763 --> 00:12:07,481
You'd think so.
272
00:12:07,482 --> 00:12:09,433
But it gets worse.
273
00:12:09,434 --> 00:12:10,935
[Knock at door]
274
00:12:10,936 --> 00:12:15,189
What could possibly be worse than
lying about a dead husband?
275
00:12:15,190 --> 00:12:16,657
Delivery for the Gardner residence.
276
00:12:16,658 --> 00:12:18,242
Oh, thank you, I'll take them.
277
00:12:18,243 --> 00:12:21,529
Ooh, what a lovely arrangement.
278
00:12:21,530 --> 00:12:24,448
It's from my patient, Amy Clark.
279
00:12:24,449 --> 00:12:26,333
Hmm, uh-huh...
280
00:12:26,334 --> 00:12:28,285
"Sorry for your loss.
Stuart will be missed."
281
00:12:28,286 --> 00:12:32,256
Aww.
282
00:12:32,257 --> 00:12:35,459
Why will I be missed?
283
00:12:35,460 --> 00:12:38,128
- Because you're dead.
- Oh, what?
284
00:12:38,129 --> 00:12:39,797
- I'm your dead husband?
- Sorry! Okay?
285
00:12:39,798 --> 00:12:41,515
He asked to see a picture
and you were the only thing that
286
00:12:41,516 --> 00:12:45,719
wasn't food, shoes, or a
man I thought was tilda swinton.
287
00:12:45,720 --> 00:12:47,304
[Grunts]
288
00:12:47,305 --> 00:12:49,640
Look, how was I supposed to
know he was your patient?
289
00:12:49,641 --> 00:12:51,108
He must have blabbed, which is something
290
00:12:51,109 --> 00:12:53,777
we're gonna work on after we're married.
291
00:12:53,778 --> 00:12:55,029
Oh, no.
292
00:12:55,030 --> 00:12:57,531
Oh, no, no, no! All my
patients think I'm dead!
293
00:12:57,532 --> 00:12:58,983
They'll be devastated!
294
00:12:58,984 --> 00:13:00,568
I don't just touch their teeth,
295
00:13:00,569 --> 00:13:03,287
I touch their hearts.
296
00:13:03,288 --> 00:13:05,489
Okay, I gotta get the word
out that I'm still alive.
297
00:13:05,490 --> 00:13:07,324
No, no, no, Stuart! Wait, wait, wait.
298
00:13:07,325 --> 00:13:08,542
This guy could be the one. Look.
299
00:13:08,543 --> 00:13:10,661
I promise I'll tell him tonight in group.
300
00:13:10,662 --> 00:13:13,330
Please, Stuart, please!
301
00:13:13,331 --> 00:13:16,884
All right, fine, I'll stay
dead for a few more hours.
302
00:13:16,885 --> 00:13:18,669
But after that, I'm gonna
spring back to life
303
00:13:18,670 --> 00:13:21,505
like a dental Jesus!
304
00:13:21,506 --> 00:13:22,640
- Thank you, Stuart.
- Okay.
305
00:13:22,641 --> 00:13:24,425
Gosh. Now how do I tell him, huh?
306
00:13:24,426 --> 00:13:25,843
You know what, I'll just
be honest and direct.
307
00:13:25,844 --> 00:13:27,845
- Yeah.
- And maybe a little cleavage.
308
00:13:27,846 --> 00:13:29,730
Hell, for news this big,
something better flop out,
309
00:13:29,731 --> 00:13:32,516
right?
310
00:13:34,654 --> 00:13:38,989
Hey, maniacs, I'm Spencer
Williams and this is fair catch.
311
00:13:38,990 --> 00:13:41,492
Our guest is sports agent Phil chase.
312
00:13:41,493 --> 00:13:44,111
And today's topic is NFL draft picks.
313
00:13:44,112 --> 00:13:47,081
Phil, let's start with
the Seattle Seahawks.
314
00:13:49,919 --> 00:13:52,336
Well, do you think the
Seahawks will use the first round
315
00:13:52,337 --> 00:13:56,590
to take senior wide
reciever Sansosa Sasasolis
316
00:13:56,591 --> 00:13:59,760
out of Mississippi Southern?
317
00:13:59,761 --> 00:14:01,845
Uh-huh.
318
00:14:01,846 --> 00:14:03,714
Phil, you got to give us more than that.
319
00:14:03,715 --> 00:14:07,217
Okay, um...
320
00:14:07,218 --> 00:14:11,221
Well, I think that player got game.
321
00:14:11,222 --> 00:14:16,310
And, uh, he'd... be good.
322
00:14:16,311 --> 00:14:17,695
Come on, Phil. Now you're ducking.
323
00:14:17,696 --> 00:14:20,648
What do you really
think of Sansosa Sasasolis?
324
00:14:20,649 --> 00:14:23,817
What do I really think?
325
00:14:23,818 --> 00:14:25,869
Well, I think...
326
00:14:25,870 --> 00:14:30,658
[No lisp] Sansosa Sasasolis...
327
00:14:30,659 --> 00:14:32,326
Sansosa Sasasolis, huh?
328
00:14:32,327 --> 00:14:33,460
That's who we talking about, right?
329
00:14:33,461 --> 00:14:35,162
We talking about Sansosa Sasasolis?
330
00:14:35,163 --> 00:14:38,082
I just wanna be clear that we talking
about Sansosa Sasasolis.
331
00:14:38,083 --> 00:14:40,918
I think Sansosa Sasasolis would be
332
00:14:40,919 --> 00:14:43,303
an excellent addition to
the Seattle Seahawks,
333
00:14:43,304 --> 00:14:45,089
and maybe even take
them to another super bowl.
334
00:14:45,090 --> 00:14:47,141
Booyah-kasha!
335
00:14:47,142 --> 00:14:49,309
I like the fire, Phil. And on that note,
336
00:14:49,310 --> 00:14:51,395
we'll take a break to pay some bills.
337
00:14:53,766 --> 00:14:55,432
And we're out!
338
00:14:55,433 --> 00:14:57,768
- You're doing great, Phil.
- Thanks, Spence.
339
00:14:57,769 --> 00:14:59,820
So, listen, when we come back,
we're gonna mix it up a little.
340
00:14:59,821 --> 00:15:00,988
I'm gonna put you on the hot seat.
341
00:15:00,989 --> 00:15:03,023
You cool with that? Turn it up, baby!
342
00:15:03,024 --> 00:15:05,109
I got thissssss!
343
00:15:07,697 --> 00:15:09,530
Oh, man.
344
00:15:09,531 --> 00:15:11,949
Wow, 38 texts and 16 voicemails?
345
00:15:11,950 --> 00:15:15,035
I am blowing up!
346
00:15:15,036 --> 00:15:19,840
"Sorry about Stuart. Can't
believe he's gone."
347
00:15:19,841 --> 00:15:23,127
"Stuart's passing is a tragedy."
348
00:15:23,128 --> 00:15:24,845
Oh, my god. Stuart's dead.
349
00:15:24,846 --> 00:15:27,131
And we're back in three...
350
00:15:30,136 --> 00:15:32,102
Welcome back to fair catch.
351
00:15:32,103 --> 00:15:34,304
Our guest today is sports agent Phil Chase
352
00:15:34,305 --> 00:15:36,640
of the Phil Chase agency.
353
00:15:36,641 --> 00:15:40,144
Phil, people say sports
agents are predators,
354
00:15:40,145 --> 00:15:42,863
urging college athletes to turn pro early,
355
00:15:42,864 --> 00:15:45,282
robbing them of their education.
356
00:15:45,283 --> 00:15:47,818
How do you respond?
357
00:15:51,457 --> 00:15:54,408
- Phil?
- [Murmurs]
358
00:15:54,409 --> 00:15:56,326
Sorry. Didn't mean to, uh, hit a nerve.
359
00:15:56,327 --> 00:15:57,878
Let's, uh, switch it up.
360
00:15:57,879 --> 00:16:00,247
Uh, what do you think of
Carolina Tech's decision
361
00:16:00,248 --> 00:16:03,717
to get rid of their
longtime mascot Charlie the chipmunk?
362
00:16:03,718 --> 00:16:06,170
[Sobbing] I'm gonna miss him so much.
363
00:16:06,171 --> 00:16:09,673
I can't... believe he's gone.
364
00:16:09,674 --> 00:16:11,175
He was a drunk in a chipmunk suit, Phil.
365
00:16:11,176 --> 00:16:12,843
Get over it.
366
00:16:12,844 --> 00:16:16,680
He was... He was my best friend.
367
00:16:16,681 --> 00:16:18,098
Phil?
368
00:16:24,248 --> 00:16:25,497
- Hi, Jeff.
- Hi.
369
00:16:25,498 --> 00:16:27,633
- Hey, Holly.
- Hi.
370
00:16:27,634 --> 00:16:30,085
Oh, ohh.
371
00:16:30,086 --> 00:16:31,887
- You look beautiful.
- Aww.
372
00:16:31,888 --> 00:16:34,006
And even though it hasn't
been under the best circumstances,
373
00:16:34,007 --> 00:16:36,558
- I'm so happy we met.
- Me too.
374
00:16:36,559 --> 00:16:38,677
Listen, Jeff, there's
something I need to tell you.
375
00:16:38,678 --> 00:16:40,262
Everyone, please take their seats.
376
00:16:40,263 --> 00:16:42,347
- Can it wait till later?
- Eh, if it were up to me,
377
00:16:42,348 --> 00:16:45,851
it would wait till we
were snorkeling in St. Bart's.
378
00:16:45,852 --> 00:16:47,352
Before we get started,
379
00:16:47,353 --> 00:16:50,989
I have a very
upsetting announcement to make.
380
00:16:50,990 --> 00:16:53,025
It has been brought to my attention
381
00:16:53,026 --> 00:16:55,861
that we have an intruder in our midst.
382
00:16:55,862 --> 00:16:58,664
Someone has violated the
sanctity of our group
383
00:16:58,665 --> 00:17:01,617
by pretending to have a deceased spouse,
384
00:17:01,618 --> 00:17:06,088
using our group as a place
to hit on vulnerable people.
385
00:17:06,089 --> 00:17:09,508
Do you have anything to say for yourself?
386
00:17:09,509 --> 00:17:11,210
Well, do you, Jeff?
387
00:17:11,211 --> 00:17:12,678
What?
388
00:17:12,679 --> 00:17:14,430
It's Jeff? My Jeff?
389
00:17:14,431 --> 00:17:16,215
I mean, our Jeff.
390
00:17:16,216 --> 00:17:18,684
- I guess I should leave.
- You certainly should.
391
00:17:18,685 --> 00:17:21,520
Before we rush to judgment, isn't
it possible he's a good,
392
00:17:21,521 --> 00:17:24,473
decent person whose only
sin was looking for love
393
00:17:24,474 --> 00:17:26,558
in this cold, lonely city?
394
00:17:26,559 --> 00:17:29,728
That he was desperate for that
one last chance to find someone,
395
00:17:29,729 --> 00:17:33,282
a soul mate, someone to marry?
396
00:17:33,283 --> 00:17:35,951
Nah, I was just
looking for some sad strange.
397
00:17:45,079 --> 00:17:47,880
Haskell, I'll trade you a
"rest in peace" biscotti
398
00:17:47,881 --> 00:17:52,200
for a piece of that "sorry
for your loss" cheesecake.
399
00:17:52,201 --> 00:17:55,871
A man has died. Show some respect.
400
00:17:55,871 --> 00:17:57,840
Throw in one of those "he's
in a better place" muffins
401
00:17:57,840 --> 00:18:00,943
and you got a deal.
402
00:18:00,943 --> 00:18:03,646
Boy, when you die, you really
find out who your friends are.
403
00:18:03,646 --> 00:18:05,581
Dan Larson. [Scoffs]
404
00:18:05,581 --> 00:18:07,550
I worked that man's mouth for 20 years.
405
00:18:07,550 --> 00:18:09,218
I get mustard pretzels?
406
00:18:15,992 --> 00:18:17,960
No!
407
00:18:17,960 --> 00:18:21,397
It's true. Stuart's really dead.
408
00:18:21,397 --> 00:18:22,798
How did this happen?
409
00:18:22,798 --> 00:18:24,867
Avalanche.
410
00:18:24,867 --> 00:18:28,371
Try a cannoli.
411
00:18:28,371 --> 00:18:30,906
I can't eat at a time like this!
412
00:18:30,906 --> 00:18:35,111
- Hey, Phil.
- [Screams]
413
00:18:35,111 --> 00:18:37,280
I thought you were dead.
414
00:18:37,280 --> 00:18:41,050
Did you send a basket?
415
00:18:41,050 --> 00:18:43,819
No, I was too busy weeping on television.
416
00:18:43,819 --> 00:18:46,822
I blew my one shot. Who started
this stupid rumor?
417
00:18:46,822 --> 00:18:49,692
All right, Stuart, you're undead.
418
00:18:49,692 --> 00:18:51,861
Turns out Jeff was just pretending
to have a dead wife
419
00:18:51,861 --> 00:18:53,663
so he could hit on grieving people.
420
00:18:53,663 --> 00:18:58,501
What a lowlife.
421
00:18:58,501 --> 00:19:01,470
So you're twisted
little plan didn't even work?
422
00:19:01,470 --> 00:19:04,540
I died for nothing?
423
00:19:04,540 --> 00:19:06,242
And because of you,
424
00:19:06,242 --> 00:19:08,277
I blubbered on national television.
425
00:19:08,277 --> 00:19:11,147
Holly, stuff came out of my nose!
426
00:19:11,147 --> 00:19:13,849
And all these
deliveries interrupted my nap.
427
00:19:13,849 --> 00:19:17,186
I'm this close to a meltdown.
428
00:19:17,186 --> 00:19:21,223
And you made me take that
barbecue class for nothing.
429
00:19:21,223 --> 00:19:24,527
I had to shove an
orange up a chicken's ass!
430
00:19:27,396 --> 00:19:32,401
All I can say is that if I
had to do it over again, I would!
431
00:19:32,401 --> 00:19:34,370
I have six months to find a
husband and I'll do anything
432
00:19:34,370 --> 00:19:36,539
to make it happen, anything!
433
00:19:36,539 --> 00:19:39,842
Brace yourselves, people.
It's gonna get ugly.
434
00:19:40,691 --> 00:19:44,100
www.addic7ed.com
435
00:19:44,150 --> 00:19:48,700
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