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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,052 --> 00:00:03,452 So you don't think I did the wrong thing 2 00:00:03,453 --> 00:00:04,987 - by breaking up with Paul? - No. 3 00:00:04,988 --> 00:00:06,789 And you don't think I gave up on love too soon? 4 00:00:06,790 --> 00:00:08,524 - No. - Are you just placating me 5 00:00:08,525 --> 00:00:09,759 because you're in a hurry to catch your plane? 6 00:00:09,760 --> 00:00:12,762 Abso-freakin'-lutely. 7 00:00:12,763 --> 00:00:15,064 Come on, I'm gonna be late to my great aunt's funeral. 8 00:00:15,065 --> 00:00:16,532 Not that it lessens the grief, 9 00:00:16,533 --> 00:00:18,634 but I heard she left me some goodies. 10 00:00:18,668 --> 00:00:20,837 All right, all right. Go get your funeral swag. 11 00:00:20,871 --> 00:00:22,271 Thanks. 12 00:00:22,272 --> 00:00:24,607 I swear, if they bury her with that giant Ruby 13 00:00:24,608 --> 00:00:26,876 she promised me, I'm diving in after it. 14 00:00:29,546 --> 00:00:31,513 Hi, guys. Can I ask you something? 15 00:00:31,514 --> 00:00:34,316 Yes, you did the right thing breaking up with Paul. 16 00:00:34,317 --> 00:00:36,152 No, you didn't give up on love too soon. 17 00:00:36,153 --> 00:00:38,087 And yes, if I hear one more word about this, 18 00:00:38,088 --> 00:00:39,555 we're going to take a little trip upstate, 19 00:00:39,556 --> 00:00:41,858 and only one of us is coming back. 20 00:00:41,892 --> 00:00:44,293 Come on, you guys. I'm a woman, I need to vent. 21 00:00:44,294 --> 00:00:46,362 It's what we do. I mean, after a breakup, 22 00:00:46,363 --> 00:00:48,965 we dissect every single moment of the relationship 23 00:00:48,966 --> 00:00:53,736 until the sound of our own voices makes us want to scream. 24 00:00:53,737 --> 00:00:56,839 Any chance we're there yet? 25 00:00:56,840 --> 00:01:00,176 Holly, you don't get it. We're guys, we're not listeners. 26 00:01:00,177 --> 00:01:03,946 Our ears were built to hear sports scores and beer ads 27 00:01:03,947 --> 00:01:07,016 and our names called out during sex. 28 00:01:07,050 --> 00:01:12,354 That happened to me once. I had my elbow on her hair. 29 00:01:12,389 --> 00:01:13,956 All right, you guys, look, with eden gone, 30 00:01:13,957 --> 00:01:15,658 I really need someone to talk to. 31 00:01:15,659 --> 00:01:17,359 I need one of you to be my woman. 32 00:01:17,394 --> 00:01:18,394 - Oh, not it. - Not it. 33 00:01:18,395 --> 00:01:19,728 Not it... hey. 34 00:01:19,763 --> 00:01:23,065 Looks like we have a volunteer. 35 00:01:23,066 --> 00:01:26,535 - [Sighs] - Wow, is it crowded in here. 36 00:01:26,536 --> 00:01:28,470 Would you mind if I borrowed this chair? 37 00:01:28,471 --> 00:01:32,175 Not at all, or perhaps you'd care to join us? 38 00:01:32,209 --> 00:01:35,011 Are you sure I wouldn't be interrupting your conversation? 39 00:01:35,012 --> 00:01:39,048 Oh, you are, and bless you. 40 00:01:39,082 --> 00:01:40,249 What he's trying to say 41 00:01:40,250 --> 00:01:42,318 is that I just broke up with my boyfriend 42 00:01:42,319 --> 00:01:44,420 and he's sick of hearing me yak about it. 43 00:01:44,454 --> 00:01:46,823 Well, of course we have to yak about it. 44 00:01:46,824 --> 00:01:48,991 We need to vent. It's our process. 45 00:01:48,992 --> 00:01:50,860 - Ah. - Thank you. [Chuckles] 46 00:01:50,894 --> 00:01:52,261 I've only known her 30 seconds, 47 00:01:52,262 --> 00:01:55,397 she's already a better woman than you are. 48 00:01:55,432 --> 00:01:57,934 Yeah, well, I mean, I broke up with my boyfriend 49 00:01:57,935 --> 00:02:00,236 six months ago, and I'm still not done talking about it. 50 00:02:00,237 --> 00:02:01,971 - Ah. - Well, you know, the best way 51 00:02:01,972 --> 00:02:05,541 to get over a guy is to jump right into a new relationship. 52 00:02:05,542 --> 00:02:08,712 Haskell Lutz, jumpable. 53 00:02:08,745 --> 00:02:09,912 [Laughs] 54 00:02:09,913 --> 00:02:13,182 Julia sommes, and for some reason, intrigued. 55 00:02:13,217 --> 00:02:15,885 Ah... hi... hi, jul... hi. Hi, Julia. 56 00:02:15,919 --> 00:02:17,720 [Laughs] 57 00:02:17,754 --> 00:02:18,955 - I'm Holly. - Hi. 58 00:02:18,956 --> 00:02:20,656 And I don't want to scare you or anything 59 00:02:20,657 --> 00:02:23,092 but you're my new best girlfriend. 60 00:02:23,126 --> 00:02:25,094 Hoo hoo! Looks like I found the fun table. 61 00:02:25,095 --> 00:02:26,729 Yeah! [Laughter] 62 00:02:26,730 --> 00:02:28,865 Hey, let me buy the next round for my two new friends. 63 00:02:28,866 --> 00:02:30,099 - Okay. - Scram. 64 00:02:30,100 --> 00:02:31,400 - You scram. - I need a woman. 65 00:02:31,434 --> 00:02:32,969 I need one worse! Both: Ah. 66 00:02:33,003 --> 00:02:35,404 - Hello. - [Laughs] 67 00:02:35,405 --> 00:02:36,605 All right, now, 68 00:02:36,606 --> 00:02:39,675 let's check out the talent pool, shall we? 69 00:02:39,709 --> 00:02:42,345 Jackpot, jackpot, jackpot! 70 00:02:42,346 --> 00:02:43,545 - Hang on, hang on. - Hmm? 71 00:02:43,546 --> 00:02:45,281 How do you know that woman's for you? 72 00:02:45,315 --> 00:02:49,418 I just got word from a lower authority. 73 00:02:49,419 --> 00:02:50,753 Your penis? 74 00:02:50,754 --> 00:02:52,421 That's who's making your decisions? 75 00:02:52,422 --> 00:02:54,523 I trust him with everything but stock tips. 76 00:02:54,557 --> 00:02:57,760 Okay, so you don't care who she is, or what she's like, 77 00:02:57,761 --> 00:03:00,096 or about making any kind of emotional connection? 78 00:03:00,130 --> 00:03:02,098 Let me check. 79 00:03:02,099 --> 00:03:04,600 No. 80 00:03:07,971 --> 00:03:09,571 Hello. I couldn't help but notice 81 00:03:09,572 --> 00:03:11,640 that you're reading something other than a tweet or a text 82 00:03:11,674 --> 00:03:14,977 and I, for one, say bravo. 83 00:03:15,012 --> 00:03:18,247 Sorry, I hope that didn't sound like some slick pickup line. 84 00:03:18,282 --> 00:03:20,616 Nope, not even remotely. 85 00:03:20,617 --> 00:03:23,452 - You mind? - Oh, not at all, have a seat. 86 00:03:23,453 --> 00:03:26,822 So you're reading Hemingway. Wow, great choice. 87 00:03:26,856 --> 00:03:28,657 You know, I'll never forget the first time 88 00:03:28,658 --> 00:03:29,658 I read the sun also... 89 00:03:29,659 --> 00:03:34,263 Rises. 90 00:03:34,264 --> 00:03:37,233 [Upbeat music] 91 00:03:38,093 --> 00:03:43,762 Sync & corrections by Rafael UPD www.addic7ed.com/ 92 00:03:44,241 --> 00:03:45,241 [glasses clink] 93 00:03:46,743 --> 00:03:49,445 - Mmm, this is nice. - Yeah. 94 00:03:49,446 --> 00:03:51,447 Mmm. 95 00:03:51,448 --> 00:03:53,149 This is nicer. 96 00:03:53,150 --> 00:03:54,984 - Phil. - Hmm? 97 00:03:54,985 --> 00:03:56,485 There's something you should know about me. 98 00:03:56,519 --> 00:03:59,555 - Mm-hmm. - I've had a pretty wild past. 99 00:03:59,556 --> 00:04:01,324 - Me too. - I guess I'm what 100 00:04:01,325 --> 00:04:04,526 you would call "a sexual adventuress." 101 00:04:08,698 --> 00:04:12,601 Me too. 102 00:04:12,602 --> 00:04:15,504 But I knew I would never meet the right guy that way. 103 00:04:15,505 --> 00:04:19,708 So two years ago I became... 104 00:04:19,709 --> 00:04:23,179 A recommitted virgin. 105 00:04:23,180 --> 00:04:26,782 - Me too! - [Laughs] 106 00:04:29,719 --> 00:04:30,853 Morning, Haskell. 107 00:04:30,887 --> 00:04:33,555 Don't you "morning" me. 108 00:04:33,556 --> 00:04:37,526 You kept me up all night with your carnal antics. 109 00:04:37,527 --> 00:04:40,729 Your headboard banging, your thumping, your squealing. 110 00:04:40,730 --> 00:04:45,034 It sounded like a haunted whorehouse. 111 00:04:45,035 --> 00:04:46,735 What are you talking about? 112 00:04:46,736 --> 00:04:49,405 My date left early last night. It wasn't me. 113 00:04:49,439 --> 00:04:52,241 [Sighs] 114 00:04:52,275 --> 00:04:55,478 Water. [Sighs] 115 00:04:55,479 --> 00:04:56,912 That was you last night? 116 00:04:56,913 --> 00:05:00,816 Mm-hmm. Yeah, I had a lady friend over. 117 00:05:00,817 --> 00:05:03,752 And over. [Chuckles] 118 00:05:03,753 --> 00:05:05,488 And over. 119 00:05:05,489 --> 00:05:07,856 Wait a sec. You had sex, 120 00:05:07,857 --> 00:05:09,458 and you struck out? 121 00:05:09,459 --> 00:05:13,262 Nobody told me it was upside down day. 122 00:05:13,263 --> 00:05:15,931 Easy. I didn't have sex last night 123 00:05:15,932 --> 00:05:18,100 for a very simple reason. 124 00:05:18,101 --> 00:05:21,437 I'm a recommitted virgin. 125 00:05:21,471 --> 00:05:25,974 Yes, that is what we tell ourselves, isn't it? 126 00:05:25,975 --> 00:05:27,776 - Recommitted virgin? - Mm-hmm. 127 00:05:27,777 --> 00:05:29,311 Uh-huh, and when did this 128 00:05:29,312 --> 00:05:30,779 little spiritual awakening happen? 129 00:05:30,780 --> 00:05:32,048 Last night, when I met 130 00:05:32,049 --> 00:05:34,517 the most smokin' hot woman on the planet. 131 00:05:34,518 --> 00:05:36,585 [Laughs] 132 00:05:36,586 --> 00:05:39,555 Turns out she's a recommitted virgin too. 133 00:05:39,556 --> 00:05:42,091 What are the chances? 134 00:05:42,092 --> 00:05:43,592 I know what you're doing. 135 00:05:43,593 --> 00:05:46,028 You're just conning this woman so you can get her into bed. 136 00:05:46,029 --> 00:05:49,098 Oh, good, I thought I'd have to explain that to you. 137 00:05:49,099 --> 00:05:50,899 Phil, have you no shame? 138 00:05:50,900 --> 00:05:52,568 A woman has made a choice that allows you 139 00:05:52,569 --> 00:05:54,803 to get to know her on a deeper level, 140 00:05:54,837 --> 00:05:57,706 and all you care about is sex? 141 00:05:57,707 --> 00:06:01,477 You wrecked me last night. 142 00:06:01,511 --> 00:06:03,145 Call me, baby. 143 00:06:03,146 --> 00:06:05,948 Oh, you bet I will... 144 00:06:05,949 --> 00:06:08,184 You. 145 00:06:09,252 --> 00:06:12,088 Oh! 146 00:06:12,089 --> 00:06:16,892 You don't even know her name! 147 00:06:16,893 --> 00:06:19,795 Even I get a name so I know whose call to block. 148 00:06:21,464 --> 00:06:24,766 Ahh. So I called Julia 149 00:06:24,767 --> 00:06:27,303 to see if she wanted to get together tonight, 150 00:06:27,304 --> 00:06:30,339 but it turns out you beat me to it. 151 00:06:30,340 --> 00:06:32,174 Haskell, can I ask a favor? 152 00:06:32,175 --> 00:06:33,309 Yeah. 153 00:06:33,310 --> 00:06:34,743 With eden out of town, 154 00:06:34,744 --> 00:06:36,712 and this whole thing with Paul, 155 00:06:36,713 --> 00:06:39,648 I could really use someone to talk to. 156 00:06:39,649 --> 00:06:41,517 I understand. A bff... 157 00:06:41,518 --> 00:06:43,452 - Yeah. - A confidant, 158 00:06:43,453 --> 00:06:45,654 someone who understands the confusing emotions 159 00:06:45,655 --> 00:06:47,156 - that you're going through. - Exactly. 160 00:06:47,157 --> 00:06:48,657 So you'll call off your date with Julia? 161 00:06:48,691 --> 00:06:51,193 Not a chance. 162 00:06:51,194 --> 00:06:52,661 Why not, you little cockroach? 163 00:06:52,695 --> 00:06:55,164 I'll tell you why not! 164 00:06:55,165 --> 00:06:57,133 Because Julia just moved here from Chicago 165 00:06:57,134 --> 00:06:58,867 and she doesn't know anybody yet, 166 00:06:58,868 --> 00:07:00,702 so I've only got a 36-hour window 167 00:07:00,703 --> 00:07:04,640 before she meets a guy with an actual job. 168 00:07:04,641 --> 00:07:08,310 Trust me, I've run the numbers. 169 00:07:08,311 --> 00:07:12,080 So that's how you want to play it, huh? 170 00:07:12,081 --> 00:07:16,818 You really think you can go toe-to-toe with me over a woman? 171 00:07:18,888 --> 00:07:22,291 That's right, because I've got the one thing 172 00:07:22,292 --> 00:07:26,428 that you can't bring to the party... 173 00:07:26,429 --> 00:07:29,865 Desperation. 174 00:07:29,866 --> 00:07:31,833 Oh, really? 175 00:07:31,834 --> 00:07:35,538 I'm a single woman in her 40s who just broke up with a guy 176 00:07:35,539 --> 00:07:37,773 who might've been her last chance at happiness. 177 00:07:37,774 --> 00:07:39,775 I am desperation! 178 00:07:44,889 --> 00:07:50,160 [Humming] 179 00:07:50,194 --> 00:07:51,294 What time is it? 180 00:07:51,295 --> 00:07:52,896 Julia's picking me up any minute. 181 00:07:52,930 --> 00:07:55,098 Wait a minute, you ask your date to pick you up? 182 00:07:55,099 --> 00:07:58,235 Well, it saves cab fare. 183 00:08:01,839 --> 00:08:04,007 So what do you think? 184 00:08:04,008 --> 00:08:07,010 Does this outfit say, "virgin"? 185 00:08:07,044 --> 00:08:08,678 That's my cardigan. 186 00:08:08,712 --> 00:08:09,880 Until the time's right, 187 00:08:09,881 --> 00:08:13,616 I don't want to let off any sexual vibe. 188 00:08:13,651 --> 00:08:17,988 Good choice, 'cause nobody's getting laid in that thing. 189 00:08:17,989 --> 00:08:20,190 Phil, you know, maybe this whole nefarious plan 190 00:08:20,224 --> 00:08:21,825 is actually an opportunity 191 00:08:21,826 --> 00:08:23,426 for you to get to know this woman. 192 00:08:23,460 --> 00:08:26,596 Oh, right, like you're doing with... 193 00:08:26,597 --> 00:08:28,665 What's her name again? 194 00:08:28,666 --> 00:08:31,168 Okay, fine. I admit, our courtship 195 00:08:31,169 --> 00:08:33,369 may have gotten out of the gate a bit quickly, 196 00:08:33,370 --> 00:08:36,072 but that's why, tonight, I'm taking her out 197 00:08:36,073 --> 00:08:37,740 for a long dinner where we will share 198 00:08:37,741 --> 00:08:39,409 all the details of our lives. 199 00:08:39,410 --> 00:08:40,811 Hmm. [Knocking at the door] 200 00:08:40,845 --> 00:08:43,046 Ooh, that's Julia. [Chuckles] 201 00:08:43,047 --> 00:08:45,715 - Hello, my d...[Chuckles] - Hey, baby. 202 00:08:45,749 --> 00:08:47,684 Oh, hey. What are you doing here? 203 00:08:47,718 --> 00:08:48,952 I was supposed to pick you up. 204 00:08:48,986 --> 00:08:51,154 Well, no matter. I have a lovely evening planned 205 00:08:51,155 --> 00:08:54,157 - so that we can get to know... - Shh. 206 00:08:57,661 --> 00:08:59,996 Okie dokie. 207 00:09:00,031 --> 00:09:02,032 [Door slams shut] 208 00:09:04,435 --> 00:09:07,137 You're going out with Haskell Lutz. 209 00:09:07,138 --> 00:09:09,206 Be prepared to be spoiled. 210 00:09:09,207 --> 00:09:10,473 [Both chuckle] 211 00:09:10,474 --> 00:09:12,209 Oh, I forgot my Groupon. 212 00:09:12,243 --> 00:09:14,845 Oh. 213 00:09:14,846 --> 00:09:16,479 - Julia! - What? 214 00:09:16,513 --> 00:09:17,714 - What a surprise! - [Laughs] 215 00:09:17,715 --> 00:09:19,216 - What are you doing here? - Oh. 216 00:09:19,217 --> 00:09:21,617 - Haskell asked me to dinner. - That's cute. 217 00:09:21,618 --> 00:09:23,086 Listen, I took your advice. 218 00:09:23,087 --> 00:09:25,722 I got a whole new wardrobe to get over Paul. 219 00:09:25,723 --> 00:09:27,157 - Oh, that's... - Yeah, you want to see it? 220 00:09:27,191 --> 00:09:28,658 Well, sure, I'd love to sometime. 221 00:09:28,692 --> 00:09:30,360 - Okay, how about now? - But what about Haskell? 222 00:09:30,361 --> 00:09:33,864 - Oh, it'll just take a second. - Uh. 223 00:09:33,865 --> 00:09:38,134 It expired, so I had to white-out the date... Julia? 224 00:09:38,135 --> 00:09:40,163 [Grumbles] 225 00:09:42,206 --> 00:09:43,840 What? 226 00:09:43,875 --> 00:09:47,210 You know what. Give me my date back! 227 00:09:47,245 --> 00:09:49,012 Sorry, kitty cat. She's mine now. 228 00:09:49,013 --> 00:09:50,947 Huh? [Both grunt] 229 00:09:50,948 --> 00:09:52,715 - Look who's here. - Hello. 230 00:09:52,716 --> 00:09:54,550 Oh, hey. 231 00:09:54,551 --> 00:09:56,920 Holly was just showing me some of her new outfits. 232 00:09:56,954 --> 00:09:58,255 Oh, how de-lovely. 233 00:09:58,256 --> 00:10:00,523 Shall we begin this magic carpet ride? 234 00:10:00,557 --> 00:10:02,392 - [Laughs] - [Chuckles] 235 00:10:02,393 --> 00:10:04,761 I'm sorry, Holly. Can we do this another time? 236 00:10:04,762 --> 00:10:08,098 Of course, no worries. Have a nice time. 237 00:10:08,132 --> 00:10:11,501 [Whimpering sigh] 238 00:10:11,502 --> 00:10:12,903 Are you okay? 239 00:10:12,937 --> 00:10:17,440 Oh, yeah, I'll just be here... All alone. 240 00:10:17,441 --> 00:10:22,712 No man, no girlfriend, no hope. 241 00:10:22,746 --> 00:10:25,748 See? She's great, let's beat it. 242 00:10:25,783 --> 00:10:27,117 Yeah, you guys go. 243 00:10:27,118 --> 00:10:28,751 You know, I want someone to be happy. 244 00:10:28,752 --> 00:10:30,387 [Laughs] 245 00:10:30,388 --> 00:10:33,089 - Maybe I'll just call Paul. - No! 246 00:10:33,124 --> 00:10:35,558 No, that is the worst thing you can do. 247 00:10:35,559 --> 00:10:37,127 Really? 248 00:10:37,128 --> 00:10:40,663 Haskell, I'm sorry, I can't leave Holly alone tonight. 249 00:10:40,664 --> 00:10:42,632 Would you mind taking a rain check? 250 00:10:42,666 --> 00:10:44,267 - Well, I... - Of course he wouldn't. 251 00:10:44,268 --> 00:10:48,604 Would you, you sweet, sweet man? 252 00:10:48,639 --> 00:10:52,842 Of course not, my dear, dear friend. 253 00:10:52,843 --> 00:10:55,778 So that's how you're gonna play it, huh? 254 00:10:55,779 --> 00:10:57,780 Well, just so you know, 255 00:10:57,781 --> 00:11:01,284 from this moment on, there are no rules. 256 00:11:03,387 --> 00:11:05,388 No rules! 257 00:11:10,260 --> 00:11:12,729 All right, look. On the count of three, 258 00:11:12,730 --> 00:11:14,831 we'll hang up together, all right? 259 00:11:14,832 --> 00:11:20,437 Ready? One, two, three. 260 00:11:20,438 --> 00:11:25,141 No, you hang up. [Chuckles] 261 00:11:25,142 --> 00:11:28,911 In the virgin world, that was phone sex. 262 00:11:28,912 --> 00:11:31,214 Still running your game, huh? 263 00:11:31,248 --> 00:11:33,483 I intend to close tonight. 264 00:11:33,484 --> 00:11:35,418 I've been around that hot, little body for three days 265 00:11:35,419 --> 00:11:37,821 and it's killing me, Stuart! It's killing me! 266 00:11:37,855 --> 00:11:40,156 Phil, have you no conscience? 267 00:11:40,157 --> 00:11:41,391 For once in your life, why don't you try 268 00:11:41,425 --> 00:11:43,360 listening to this instead of... 269 00:11:43,361 --> 00:11:47,163 Don't you tap that. 270 00:11:47,164 --> 00:11:48,798 And look who's talking. 271 00:11:48,799 --> 00:11:51,100 I'm not the only one whose big dog's driving the bus. 272 00:11:51,134 --> 00:11:54,971 Okay, all right, point taken, but that ends tonight. 273 00:11:54,972 --> 00:11:56,673 - I'm meeting Sabrina... - Ah. 274 00:11:56,674 --> 00:11:58,307 Ah. At the bar, 275 00:11:58,308 --> 00:12:00,910 and the relationship will not move forward 276 00:12:00,911 --> 00:12:02,545 until I know everything about her 277 00:12:02,546 --> 00:12:07,216 and she knows more about me than just my safe word. 278 00:12:07,217 --> 00:12:09,118 So that's why you kept yelling, 279 00:12:09,119 --> 00:12:12,321 "creme brulee! Creme brulee!" 280 00:12:13,557 --> 00:12:16,225 Are you okay, Stuart? 281 00:12:16,226 --> 00:12:18,227 I'm fine. 282 00:12:21,499 --> 00:12:23,065 - Hi, Sabrina. - Hey, baby. 283 00:12:23,066 --> 00:12:26,269 Hi. 284 00:12:26,303 --> 00:12:29,205 Sit... ah! No, uh, no, no. 285 00:12:29,206 --> 00:12:31,908 No, have a seat. I thought maybe we could talk 286 00:12:31,909 --> 00:12:33,276 for a change, get to know each other. 287 00:12:33,310 --> 00:12:36,780 Really? 288 00:12:36,781 --> 00:12:38,948 Yes, yes. 289 00:12:38,949 --> 00:12:40,950 Look, for this to work for me, 290 00:12:40,984 --> 00:12:43,052 we need to connect on a deeper level. 291 00:12:43,053 --> 00:12:44,421 Oh. 292 00:12:44,422 --> 00:12:46,489 Tell me about yourself. I want to know the real Sabrina. 293 00:12:46,524 --> 00:12:47,990 Sure. What do you want to know? 294 00:12:48,025 --> 00:12:50,226 - What do you do for a living? - I work in a hospital. 295 00:12:50,260 --> 00:12:51,828 Oh, wonderful. Doctor, nurse? 296 00:12:51,862 --> 00:12:55,865 In collections. 297 00:12:55,866 --> 00:12:56,999 Ah. 298 00:12:57,034 --> 00:12:59,235 Yeah, say somebody gets a new heart 299 00:12:59,236 --> 00:13:00,670 and their insurance runs out, 300 00:13:00,671 --> 00:13:02,271 I'm that scary voice that wakes them up 301 00:13:02,272 --> 00:13:06,676 in the middle of the night threatening to take their house. 302 00:13:06,677 --> 00:13:08,277 Wow, what a job. 303 00:13:08,312 --> 00:13:09,546 I know. 304 00:13:09,547 --> 00:13:12,649 How often do you get to do something you love? 305 00:13:15,953 --> 00:13:17,454 Okay, moving on. 306 00:13:17,455 --> 00:13:19,422 How about your personal life? Do you have any kids? 307 00:13:19,457 --> 00:13:22,992 Two. No, three. 308 00:13:23,026 --> 00:13:27,363 - Yeah... three. - [Chuckles] 309 00:13:27,397 --> 00:13:30,467 Wow. And do they live with you? 310 00:13:30,501 --> 00:13:33,269 No, God, no. I fobbed them off on my mother. 311 00:13:33,270 --> 00:13:35,438 Somebody's got to keep her sober. 312 00:13:38,308 --> 00:13:40,242 Okay, I've heard enough. 313 00:13:40,243 --> 00:13:42,278 Sabrina, I've gotten to know you, 314 00:13:42,279 --> 00:13:44,180 and don't take this the wrong way, 315 00:13:44,214 --> 00:13:47,016 but you are the most horrid, despicable... 316 00:13:47,017 --> 00:13:50,286 [Shudders] 317 00:13:50,320 --> 00:13:52,555 Hello, is that your foot? 318 00:13:52,590 --> 00:13:54,824 Uh-huh. 319 00:13:54,859 --> 00:13:56,526 [Sighs] 320 00:13:56,527 --> 00:14:00,029 No, no, no, no, no, no, I can't. I can't, you're a monster. 321 00:14:00,030 --> 00:14:01,197 Uh-huh. 322 00:14:01,231 --> 00:14:03,600 There's a handicap stall in the ladies room. 323 00:14:03,601 --> 00:14:05,301 Why don't we wheel out whoever's in there 324 00:14:05,302 --> 00:14:07,203 and get freaky on each other? 325 00:14:10,875 --> 00:14:14,243 - To new friends. - New friends. 326 00:14:14,244 --> 00:14:16,178 Mmm. Both: Refill. 327 00:14:16,179 --> 00:14:18,114 [Both laugh] 328 00:14:18,115 --> 00:14:19,248 I'll be right back. 329 00:14:19,282 --> 00:14:20,383 - Oof. - Ahh. 330 00:14:20,384 --> 00:14:23,085 [Humming] 331 00:14:23,120 --> 00:14:26,990 Oh. [Humming] 332 00:14:27,024 --> 00:14:30,660 I'll take a trim, a heel shave, 333 00:14:30,661 --> 00:14:33,095 and... French tips. 334 00:14:33,096 --> 00:14:35,965 After all, I am wearing peek-a-boo sandals. 335 00:14:35,966 --> 00:14:38,902 Haskell! How did you get in here? 336 00:14:38,903 --> 00:14:40,236 This is women-only. 337 00:14:40,270 --> 00:14:42,539 Oh, well, these days, nobody questions it. 338 00:14:42,540 --> 00:14:43,806 Because if you're wrong, 339 00:14:43,807 --> 00:14:45,942 you're a supreme court test case. 340 00:14:45,976 --> 00:14:47,109 [Both laugh] 341 00:14:47,110 --> 00:14:49,546 Okay... oh, sorry, lady, that's my seat. 342 00:14:49,580 --> 00:14:52,281 Was your seat, toots. 343 00:14:52,282 --> 00:14:54,851 Oh, hell no! 344 00:14:54,885 --> 00:14:57,219 Excuse me, I'm just gonna steal him away for one second. 345 00:14:57,220 --> 00:15:00,623 Whoa, watch the Polish, watch the Polish. 346 00:15:00,624 --> 00:15:03,526 - Sneaking into a women's spa? - Mm. 347 00:15:03,527 --> 00:15:06,228 - You got some set of balls. - [Chuckles] 348 00:15:06,263 --> 00:15:08,097 I'm serious, close your robe. 349 00:15:08,131 --> 00:15:09,933 Oh. 350 00:15:09,934 --> 00:15:13,202 You think that you can steal my woman and get away with it? 351 00:15:13,236 --> 00:15:14,403 - [Laughs] - Ha! 352 00:15:14,438 --> 00:15:17,440 Who looks like the fool now? 353 00:15:17,441 --> 00:15:18,942 - Dah! - Man in the house! 354 00:15:18,943 --> 00:15:20,076 - Man in the house! - Give me that! 355 00:15:20,077 --> 00:15:21,243 Give me that, you! 356 00:15:21,244 --> 00:15:22,612 [Both struggling] 357 00:15:22,613 --> 00:15:24,647 Oh, dear. Oh... oh, my God. 358 00:15:24,682 --> 00:15:26,616 - Ah. - Oh, oh, oh. 359 00:15:26,650 --> 00:15:29,518 [Yells] This is an outrage! 360 00:15:29,519 --> 00:15:31,487 I want my locker deposit back! 361 00:15:31,488 --> 00:15:34,991 And I was promised a beauty bag! 362 00:15:35,025 --> 00:15:36,793 Oh, thank God. [Chuckles] 363 00:15:36,794 --> 00:15:37,894 Oh! 364 00:15:37,895 --> 00:15:39,829 All right, I'll call you soon, bff. 365 00:15:39,830 --> 00:15:41,898 And I'll call you sooner. Get off of me! 366 00:15:41,899 --> 00:15:42,999 Oh, give it up. 367 00:15:51,193 --> 00:15:53,160 [Both chuckling] 368 00:15:53,161 --> 00:15:56,063 This is... This is fun. 369 00:15:56,064 --> 00:15:58,466 There's gonna be a big payoff for you at the end of this. 370 00:15:58,500 --> 00:16:00,834 Mittens. 371 00:16:00,835 --> 00:16:03,471 You know, 372 00:16:03,472 --> 00:16:06,707 Dana, these past few days have been amazing. 373 00:16:06,708 --> 00:16:09,243 You know, it's so freeing to have sex off the table. 374 00:16:09,277 --> 00:16:10,911 - Phew. - By now, 375 00:16:10,912 --> 00:16:13,214 the old me would've come up with some excuse 376 00:16:13,215 --> 00:16:16,384 to take your hand and caress your fingers. 377 00:16:16,385 --> 00:16:19,387 Uh-huh. 378 00:16:19,421 --> 00:16:24,492 The old me would've brushed your hair out of your face 379 00:16:24,493 --> 00:16:27,228 so I could look at those beautiful eyes. 380 00:16:27,262 --> 00:16:29,696 Uh-huh. 381 00:16:29,697 --> 00:16:33,434 And what else would the old you have done? 382 00:16:33,435 --> 00:16:39,306 Well, the old me would've leaned in for a kiss. 383 00:16:44,479 --> 00:16:48,749 [Both moaning] 384 00:16:48,750 --> 00:16:51,952 - Oh, I'm so glad we waited. - Me too! 385 00:16:51,986 --> 00:16:54,388 - You're really special, Phil. - You too. 386 00:16:54,389 --> 00:16:58,059 - So sweet, so sincere. - [Giggles] 387 00:16:58,060 --> 00:16:59,826 [Internal voice] Sincere? Really, Phil? 388 00:16:59,827 --> 00:17:02,563 This may be a game for you, but it's not for her. 389 00:17:02,597 --> 00:17:05,099 This is nice. 390 00:17:05,133 --> 00:17:06,567 [Internal voice] Stuart's right. 391 00:17:06,568 --> 00:17:09,736 For once in your life, stop being led around by your penis. 392 00:17:09,737 --> 00:17:11,439 Man, don't listen to him. 393 00:17:11,440 --> 00:17:12,873 Huh? 394 00:17:12,874 --> 00:17:14,475 Yo, down here. 395 00:17:14,476 --> 00:17:17,978 Have I ever steered you wrong, dog? 396 00:17:18,012 --> 00:17:21,115 - Is everything okay? - Yeah, yeah, all good. 397 00:17:21,149 --> 00:17:22,916 - Okay. - Damn right, it's all good. 398 00:17:22,917 --> 00:17:25,619 Slide a hat on me. 399 00:17:25,653 --> 00:17:27,154 [Internal voice] Phil, you can't do this. 400 00:17:27,155 --> 00:17:28,622 She's making you mittens. 401 00:17:28,623 --> 00:17:30,857 You went to church with her Nana. 402 00:17:30,858 --> 00:17:34,761 Church? Nana? Hoo! 403 00:17:34,762 --> 00:17:39,833 I have fallen and I can't get up. 404 00:17:39,834 --> 00:17:42,769 Phil? 405 00:17:42,770 --> 00:17:45,639 I'm gonna need a minute. 406 00:17:45,673 --> 00:17:49,009 [Gasps] I think I know what's wrong. 407 00:17:49,010 --> 00:17:50,177 - No. - Oh! 408 00:17:50,212 --> 00:17:51,512 No, no, nothing's wrong. 409 00:17:51,513 --> 00:17:53,347 Please forgive me, Phil. 410 00:17:53,348 --> 00:17:56,016 I nearly corrupted you and took away your virginity. 411 00:17:56,050 --> 00:17:58,952 Take it! It's yours! 412 00:17:58,953 --> 00:18:01,555 You be strong, for both of us. 413 00:18:01,556 --> 00:18:03,457 [Sighs] You are a good man. 414 00:18:03,458 --> 00:18:06,793 No! No, I'm a bad, bad man! 415 00:18:06,828 --> 00:18:09,830 Let me prove it to you! 416 00:18:10,965 --> 00:18:13,967 Don't you touch me. 417 00:18:19,474 --> 00:18:22,176 Let's just agree to never let a woman come between us again. 418 00:18:22,177 --> 00:18:25,379 Agreed, and if you still need a girlfriend to talk to, 419 00:18:25,380 --> 00:18:26,514 I'm your man. 420 00:18:26,548 --> 00:18:28,582 Thanks, but our little lady's back. 421 00:18:28,583 --> 00:18:29,683 Eden just texted me. 422 00:18:29,684 --> 00:18:30,684 She's back from her aunt's funeral. 423 00:18:30,685 --> 00:18:32,019 Oh. 424 00:18:32,053 --> 00:18:33,621 Whoa, whoa, whoa! Stop, stop! 425 00:18:33,622 --> 00:18:37,124 - Oh, my God! - [Grunts] 426 00:18:37,125 --> 00:18:40,461 Wha... What the hell is that? 427 00:18:40,495 --> 00:18:42,296 I think it's a dog. 428 00:18:42,297 --> 00:18:44,565 It's what my great aunt left me. 429 00:18:44,599 --> 00:18:47,067 I thought you said she was leaving you a giant ruby. 430 00:18:47,101 --> 00:18:49,736 Yeah, she did. Meet Ruby. 431 00:18:49,737 --> 00:18:53,174 Sit, sit, sit. Sit. 432 00:18:53,175 --> 00:18:54,441 - Oh. - Okay. 433 00:18:54,442 --> 00:18:57,044 Or drag me through the streets. Your call. 434 00:18:57,045 --> 00:18:59,046 [Screams] 435 00:19:01,383 --> 00:19:04,351 Bartender, can I get a double Jack, straight up? 436 00:19:04,386 --> 00:19:06,387 Stay close. 437 00:19:06,388 --> 00:19:09,456 [Stuttering] Creme brulee! Creme brulee! 438 00:19:09,457 --> 00:19:11,758 Ah. 439 00:19:11,759 --> 00:19:14,695 - You okay, Stuart? - When is that woman gonna learn 440 00:19:14,696 --> 00:19:17,431 that "creme brulee" means "creme brulee"? 441 00:19:17,432 --> 00:19:20,167 I see you're really getting to know Sabrina. 442 00:19:20,168 --> 00:19:21,602 Oh, no, I did. 443 00:19:21,603 --> 00:19:24,738 She's the most vile, repulsive woman I've ever met. 444 00:19:24,739 --> 00:19:28,442 And I can't quit her. 445 00:19:28,476 --> 00:19:31,044 I'm at the mercy of my male parts. 446 00:19:31,045 --> 00:19:33,514 I've become you. 447 00:19:33,548 --> 00:19:35,949 Yeah, well, I've become you. 448 00:19:35,950 --> 00:19:37,484 Got me all in my head, 449 00:19:37,485 --> 00:19:39,019 thinking about being a better person, 450 00:19:39,020 --> 00:19:41,088 and damn it, I was! 451 00:19:41,089 --> 00:19:44,291 - Wait, so you... - No, I couldn't. 452 00:19:44,292 --> 00:19:46,427 My conscience bitch-slapped my dingus. 453 00:19:46,428 --> 00:19:48,662 Oh. 454 00:19:48,663 --> 00:19:50,831 I just hope you haven't ruined me for all women now. 455 00:19:50,832 --> 00:19:53,934 Hey, baby. 456 00:19:53,935 --> 00:19:56,437 You with me, Phil? 457 00:19:56,438 --> 00:19:58,439 Right behind you, big dog. 458 00:19:58,440 --> 00:20:01,173 Sync & corrections by Rafael UPD www.addic7ed.com/ 459 00:20:01,223 --> 00:20:05,773 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 32788

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