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1
00:00:02,052 --> 00:00:03,452
So you don't think
I did the wrong thing
2
00:00:03,453 --> 00:00:04,987
- by breaking up with Paul?
- No.
3
00:00:04,988 --> 00:00:06,789
And you don't think
I gave up on love too soon?
4
00:00:06,790 --> 00:00:08,524
- No.
- Are you just placating me
5
00:00:08,525 --> 00:00:09,759
because you're in a hurry
to catch your plane?
6
00:00:09,760 --> 00:00:12,762
Abso-freakin'-lutely.
7
00:00:12,763 --> 00:00:15,064
Come on, I'm gonna be late
to my great aunt's funeral.
8
00:00:15,065 --> 00:00:16,532
Not that it lessens
the grief,
9
00:00:16,533 --> 00:00:18,634
but I heard
she left me some goodies.
10
00:00:18,668 --> 00:00:20,837
All right, all right.
Go get your funeral swag.
11
00:00:20,871 --> 00:00:22,271
Thanks.
12
00:00:22,272 --> 00:00:24,607
I swear, if they bury her
with that giant Ruby
13
00:00:24,608 --> 00:00:26,876
she promised me,
I'm diving in after it.
14
00:00:29,546 --> 00:00:31,513
Hi, guys.
Can I ask you something?
15
00:00:31,514 --> 00:00:34,316
Yes, you did the right thing
breaking up with Paul.
16
00:00:34,317 --> 00:00:36,152
No, you didn't
give up on love too soon.
17
00:00:36,153 --> 00:00:38,087
And yes, if I hear
one more word about this,
18
00:00:38,088 --> 00:00:39,555
we're going to take
a little trip upstate,
19
00:00:39,556 --> 00:00:41,858
and only one of us
is coming back.
20
00:00:41,892 --> 00:00:44,293
Come on, you guys.
I'm a woman, I need to vent.
21
00:00:44,294 --> 00:00:46,362
It's what we do.
I mean, after a breakup,
22
00:00:46,363 --> 00:00:48,965
we dissect every single moment
of the relationship
23
00:00:48,966 --> 00:00:53,736
until the sound of our own
voices makes us want to scream.
24
00:00:53,737 --> 00:00:56,839
Any chance
we're there yet?
25
00:00:56,840 --> 00:01:00,176
Holly, you don't get it.
We're guys, we're not listeners.
26
00:01:00,177 --> 00:01:03,946
Our ears were built to hear
sports scores and beer ads
27
00:01:03,947 --> 00:01:07,016
and our names called out
during sex.
28
00:01:07,050 --> 00:01:12,354
That happened to me once.
I had my elbow on her hair.
29
00:01:12,389 --> 00:01:13,956
All right, you guys, look,
with eden gone,
30
00:01:13,957 --> 00:01:15,658
I really need
someone to talk to.
31
00:01:15,659 --> 00:01:17,359
I need one of you
to be my woman.
32
00:01:17,394 --> 00:01:18,394
- Oh, not it.
- Not it.
33
00:01:18,395 --> 00:01:19,728
Not it... hey.
34
00:01:19,763 --> 00:01:23,065
Looks like
we have a volunteer.
35
00:01:23,066 --> 00:01:26,535
- [Sighs]
- Wow, is it crowded in here.
36
00:01:26,536 --> 00:01:28,470
Would you mind
if I borrowed this chair?
37
00:01:28,471 --> 00:01:32,175
Not at all, or perhaps
you'd care to join us?
38
00:01:32,209 --> 00:01:35,011
Are you sure I wouldn't be
interrupting your conversation?
39
00:01:35,012 --> 00:01:39,048
Oh, you are, and bless you.
40
00:01:39,082 --> 00:01:40,249
What he's trying to say
41
00:01:40,250 --> 00:01:42,318
is that I just broke up
with my boyfriend
42
00:01:42,319 --> 00:01:44,420
and he's sick of hearing me
yak about it.
43
00:01:44,454 --> 00:01:46,823
Well, of course
we have to yak about it.
44
00:01:46,824 --> 00:01:48,991
We need to vent.
It's our process.
45
00:01:48,992 --> 00:01:50,860
- Ah.
- Thank you. [Chuckles]
46
00:01:50,894 --> 00:01:52,261
I've only known her
30 seconds,
47
00:01:52,262 --> 00:01:55,397
she's already
a better woman than you are.
48
00:01:55,432 --> 00:01:57,934
Yeah, well, I mean,
I broke up with my boyfriend
49
00:01:57,935 --> 00:02:00,236
six months ago, and I'm still
not done talking about it.
50
00:02:00,237 --> 00:02:01,971
- Ah.
- Well, you know, the best way
51
00:02:01,972 --> 00:02:05,541
to get over a guy is to jump
right into a new relationship.
52
00:02:05,542 --> 00:02:08,712
Haskell Lutz, jumpable.
53
00:02:08,745 --> 00:02:09,912
[Laughs]
54
00:02:09,913 --> 00:02:13,182
Julia sommes,
and for some reason, intrigued.
55
00:02:13,217 --> 00:02:15,885
Ah... hi... hi, jul... hi.
Hi, Julia.
56
00:02:15,919 --> 00:02:17,720
[Laughs]
57
00:02:17,754 --> 00:02:18,955
- I'm Holly.
- Hi.
58
00:02:18,956 --> 00:02:20,656
And I don't want to scare you
or anything
59
00:02:20,657 --> 00:02:23,092
but you're my new
best girlfriend.
60
00:02:23,126 --> 00:02:25,094
Hoo hoo! Looks like
I found the fun table.
61
00:02:25,095 --> 00:02:26,729
Yeah!
[Laughter]
62
00:02:26,730 --> 00:02:28,865
Hey, let me buy the next round
for my two new friends.
63
00:02:28,866 --> 00:02:30,099
- Okay.
- Scram.
64
00:02:30,100 --> 00:02:31,400
- You scram.
- I need a woman.
65
00:02:31,434 --> 00:02:32,969
I need one worse!
Both: Ah.
66
00:02:33,003 --> 00:02:35,404
- Hello.
- [Laughs]
67
00:02:35,405 --> 00:02:36,605
All right, now,
68
00:02:36,606 --> 00:02:39,675
let's check out the talent pool,
shall we?
69
00:02:39,709 --> 00:02:42,345
Jackpot, jackpot,
jackpot!
70
00:02:42,346 --> 00:02:43,545
- Hang on, hang on.
- Hmm?
71
00:02:43,546 --> 00:02:45,281
How do you know
that woman's for you?
72
00:02:45,315 --> 00:02:49,418
I just got word
from a lower authority.
73
00:02:49,419 --> 00:02:50,753
Your penis?
74
00:02:50,754 --> 00:02:52,421
That's who's making
your decisions?
75
00:02:52,422 --> 00:02:54,523
I trust him with everything
but stock tips.
76
00:02:54,557 --> 00:02:57,760
Okay, so you don't care
who she is, or what she's like,
77
00:02:57,761 --> 00:03:00,096
or about making any kind
of emotional connection?
78
00:03:00,130 --> 00:03:02,098
Let me check.
79
00:03:02,099 --> 00:03:04,600
No.
80
00:03:07,971 --> 00:03:09,571
Hello.
I couldn't help but notice
81
00:03:09,572 --> 00:03:11,640
that you're reading something
other than a tweet or a text
82
00:03:11,674 --> 00:03:14,977
and I, for one,
say bravo.
83
00:03:15,012 --> 00:03:18,247
Sorry, I hope that didn't sound
like some slick pickup line.
84
00:03:18,282 --> 00:03:20,616
Nope, not even remotely.
85
00:03:20,617 --> 00:03:23,452
- You mind?
- Oh, not at all, have a seat.
86
00:03:23,453 --> 00:03:26,822
So you're reading Hemingway.
Wow, great choice.
87
00:03:26,856 --> 00:03:28,657
You know, I'll never forget
the first time
88
00:03:28,658 --> 00:03:29,658
I read the sun also...
89
00:03:29,659 --> 00:03:34,263
Rises.
90
00:03:34,264 --> 00:03:37,233
[Upbeat music]
91
00:03:38,093 --> 00:03:43,762
Sync & corrections by Rafael UPD
www.addic7ed.com/
92
00:03:44,241 --> 00:03:45,241
[glasses clink]
93
00:03:46,743 --> 00:03:49,445
- Mmm, this is nice.
- Yeah.
94
00:03:49,446 --> 00:03:51,447
Mmm.
95
00:03:51,448 --> 00:03:53,149
This is nicer.
96
00:03:53,150 --> 00:03:54,984
- Phil.
- Hmm?
97
00:03:54,985 --> 00:03:56,485
There's something
you should know about me.
98
00:03:56,519 --> 00:03:59,555
- Mm-hmm.
- I've had a pretty wild past.
99
00:03:59,556 --> 00:04:01,324
- Me too.
- I guess I'm what
100
00:04:01,325 --> 00:04:04,526
you would call
"a sexual adventuress."
101
00:04:08,698 --> 00:04:12,601
Me too.
102
00:04:12,602 --> 00:04:15,504
But I knew I would never
meet the right guy that way.
103
00:04:15,505 --> 00:04:19,708
So two years ago
I became...
104
00:04:19,709 --> 00:04:23,179
A recommitted virgin.
105
00:04:23,180 --> 00:04:26,782
- Me too!
- [Laughs]
106
00:04:29,719 --> 00:04:30,853
Morning, Haskell.
107
00:04:30,887 --> 00:04:33,555
Don't you "morning" me.
108
00:04:33,556 --> 00:04:37,526
You kept me up all night
with your carnal antics.
109
00:04:37,527 --> 00:04:40,729
Your headboard banging,
your thumping, your squealing.
110
00:04:40,730 --> 00:04:45,034
It sounded like
a haunted whorehouse.
111
00:04:45,035 --> 00:04:46,735
What are you talking
about?
112
00:04:46,736 --> 00:04:49,405
My date left early last night.
It wasn't me.
113
00:04:49,439 --> 00:04:52,241
[Sighs]
114
00:04:52,275 --> 00:04:55,478
Water.
[Sighs]
115
00:04:55,479 --> 00:04:56,912
That was you last night?
116
00:04:56,913 --> 00:05:00,816
Mm-hmm.
Yeah, I had a lady friend over.
117
00:05:00,817 --> 00:05:03,752
And over.
[Chuckles]
118
00:05:03,753 --> 00:05:05,488
And over.
119
00:05:05,489 --> 00:05:07,856
Wait a sec.
You had sex,
120
00:05:07,857 --> 00:05:09,458
and you struck out?
121
00:05:09,459 --> 00:05:13,262
Nobody told me
it was upside down day.
122
00:05:13,263 --> 00:05:15,931
Easy.
I didn't have sex last night
123
00:05:15,932 --> 00:05:18,100
for a very simple reason.
124
00:05:18,101 --> 00:05:21,437
I'm a recommitted virgin.
125
00:05:21,471 --> 00:05:25,974
Yes, that is what we tell
ourselves, isn't it?
126
00:05:25,975 --> 00:05:27,776
- Recommitted virgin?
- Mm-hmm.
127
00:05:27,777 --> 00:05:29,311
Uh-huh, and when did this
128
00:05:29,312 --> 00:05:30,779
little spiritual awakening
happen?
129
00:05:30,780 --> 00:05:32,048
Last night, when I met
130
00:05:32,049 --> 00:05:34,517
the most smokin' hot woman
on the planet.
131
00:05:34,518 --> 00:05:36,585
[Laughs]
132
00:05:36,586 --> 00:05:39,555
Turns out she's
a recommitted virgin too.
133
00:05:39,556 --> 00:05:42,091
What are the chances?
134
00:05:42,092 --> 00:05:43,592
I know
what you're doing.
135
00:05:43,593 --> 00:05:46,028
You're just conning this woman
so you can get her into bed.
136
00:05:46,029 --> 00:05:49,098
Oh, good, I thought
I'd have to explain that to you.
137
00:05:49,099 --> 00:05:50,899
Phil, have you no shame?
138
00:05:50,900 --> 00:05:52,568
A woman has made a choice
that allows you
139
00:05:52,569 --> 00:05:54,803
to get to know her
on a deeper level,
140
00:05:54,837 --> 00:05:57,706
and all you care about
is sex?
141
00:05:57,707 --> 00:06:01,477
You wrecked me
last night.
142
00:06:01,511 --> 00:06:03,145
Call me, baby.
143
00:06:03,146 --> 00:06:05,948
Oh, you bet I will...
144
00:06:05,949 --> 00:06:08,184
You.
145
00:06:09,252 --> 00:06:12,088
Oh!
146
00:06:12,089 --> 00:06:16,892
You don't even know
her name!
147
00:06:16,893 --> 00:06:19,795
Even I get a name
so I know whose call to block.
148
00:06:21,464 --> 00:06:24,766
Ahh.
So I called Julia
149
00:06:24,767 --> 00:06:27,303
to see if she wanted
to get together tonight,
150
00:06:27,304 --> 00:06:30,339
but it turns out
you beat me to it.
151
00:06:30,340 --> 00:06:32,174
Haskell, can I ask a favor?
152
00:06:32,175 --> 00:06:33,309
Yeah.
153
00:06:33,310 --> 00:06:34,743
With eden out of town,
154
00:06:34,744 --> 00:06:36,712
and this whole thing
with Paul,
155
00:06:36,713 --> 00:06:39,648
I could really use someone
to talk to.
156
00:06:39,649 --> 00:06:41,517
I understand.
A bff...
157
00:06:41,518 --> 00:06:43,452
- Yeah.
- A confidant,
158
00:06:43,453 --> 00:06:45,654
someone who understands
the confusing emotions
159
00:06:45,655 --> 00:06:47,156
- that you're going through.
- Exactly.
160
00:06:47,157 --> 00:06:48,657
So you'll call off your date
with Julia?
161
00:06:48,691 --> 00:06:51,193
Not a chance.
162
00:06:51,194 --> 00:06:52,661
Why not, you little cockroach?
163
00:06:52,695 --> 00:06:55,164
I'll tell you why not!
164
00:06:55,165 --> 00:06:57,133
Because Julia just moved here
from Chicago
165
00:06:57,134 --> 00:06:58,867
and she doesn't know
anybody yet,
166
00:06:58,868 --> 00:07:00,702
so I've only got
a 36-hour window
167
00:07:00,703 --> 00:07:04,640
before she meets a guy
with an actual job.
168
00:07:04,641 --> 00:07:08,310
Trust me,
I've run the numbers.
169
00:07:08,311 --> 00:07:12,080
So that's how
you want to play it, huh?
170
00:07:12,081 --> 00:07:16,818
You really think you can go
toe-to-toe with me over a woman?
171
00:07:18,888 --> 00:07:22,291
That's right,
because I've got the one thing
172
00:07:22,292 --> 00:07:26,428
that you can't bring
to the party...
173
00:07:26,429 --> 00:07:29,865
Desperation.
174
00:07:29,866 --> 00:07:31,833
Oh, really?
175
00:07:31,834 --> 00:07:35,538
I'm a single woman in her 40s
who just broke up with a guy
176
00:07:35,539 --> 00:07:37,773
who might've been
her last chance at happiness.
177
00:07:37,774 --> 00:07:39,775
I am desperation!
178
00:07:44,889 --> 00:07:50,160
[Humming]
179
00:07:50,194 --> 00:07:51,294
What time is it?
180
00:07:51,295 --> 00:07:52,896
Julia's picking me up
any minute.
181
00:07:52,930 --> 00:07:55,098
Wait a minute, you ask
your date to pick you up?
182
00:07:55,099 --> 00:07:58,235
Well, it saves cab fare.
183
00:08:01,839 --> 00:08:04,007
So what do you think?
184
00:08:04,008 --> 00:08:07,010
Does this outfit say,
"virgin"?
185
00:08:07,044 --> 00:08:08,678
That's my cardigan.
186
00:08:08,712 --> 00:08:09,880
Until the time's right,
187
00:08:09,881 --> 00:08:13,616
I don't want to let off
any sexual vibe.
188
00:08:13,651 --> 00:08:17,988
Good choice, 'cause nobody's
getting laid in that thing.
189
00:08:17,989 --> 00:08:20,190
Phil, you know,
maybe this whole nefarious plan
190
00:08:20,224 --> 00:08:21,825
is actually an opportunity
191
00:08:21,826 --> 00:08:23,426
for you to get to know
this woman.
192
00:08:23,460 --> 00:08:26,596
Oh, right,
like you're doing with...
193
00:08:26,597 --> 00:08:28,665
What's her name again?
194
00:08:28,666 --> 00:08:31,168
Okay, fine.
I admit, our courtship
195
00:08:31,169 --> 00:08:33,369
may have gotten out of the gate
a bit quickly,
196
00:08:33,370 --> 00:08:36,072
but that's why, tonight,
I'm taking her out
197
00:08:36,073 --> 00:08:37,740
for a long dinner
where we will share
198
00:08:37,741 --> 00:08:39,409
all the details
of our lives.
199
00:08:39,410 --> 00:08:40,811
Hmm.
[Knocking at the door]
200
00:08:40,845 --> 00:08:43,046
Ooh, that's Julia.
[Chuckles]
201
00:08:43,047 --> 00:08:45,715
- Hello, my d...[Chuckles]
- Hey, baby.
202
00:08:45,749 --> 00:08:47,684
Oh, hey.
What are you doing here?
203
00:08:47,718 --> 00:08:48,952
I was supposed to
pick you up.
204
00:08:48,986 --> 00:08:51,154
Well, no matter.
I have a lovely evening planned
205
00:08:51,155 --> 00:08:54,157
- so that we can get to know...
- Shh.
206
00:08:57,661 --> 00:08:59,996
Okie dokie.
207
00:09:00,031 --> 00:09:02,032
[Door slams shut]
208
00:09:04,435 --> 00:09:07,137
You're going out
with Haskell Lutz.
209
00:09:07,138 --> 00:09:09,206
Be prepared to be spoiled.
210
00:09:09,207 --> 00:09:10,473
[Both chuckle]
211
00:09:10,474 --> 00:09:12,209
Oh, I forgot my Groupon.
212
00:09:12,243 --> 00:09:14,845
Oh.
213
00:09:14,846 --> 00:09:16,479
- Julia!
- What?
214
00:09:16,513 --> 00:09:17,714
- What a surprise!
- [Laughs]
215
00:09:17,715 --> 00:09:19,216
- What are you doing here?
- Oh.
216
00:09:19,217 --> 00:09:21,617
- Haskell asked me to dinner.
- That's cute.
217
00:09:21,618 --> 00:09:23,086
Listen, I took your advice.
218
00:09:23,087 --> 00:09:25,722
I got a whole new wardrobe
to get over Paul.
219
00:09:25,723 --> 00:09:27,157
- Oh, that's...
- Yeah, you want to see it?
220
00:09:27,191 --> 00:09:28,658
Well, sure,
I'd love to sometime.
221
00:09:28,692 --> 00:09:30,360
- Okay, how about now?
- But what about Haskell?
222
00:09:30,361 --> 00:09:33,864
- Oh, it'll just take a second.
- Uh.
223
00:09:33,865 --> 00:09:38,134
It expired, so I had to
white-out the date... Julia?
224
00:09:38,135 --> 00:09:40,163
[Grumbles]
225
00:09:42,206 --> 00:09:43,840
What?
226
00:09:43,875 --> 00:09:47,210
You know what.
Give me my date back!
227
00:09:47,245 --> 00:09:49,012
Sorry, kitty cat.
She's mine now.
228
00:09:49,013 --> 00:09:50,947
Huh?
[Both grunt]
229
00:09:50,948 --> 00:09:52,715
- Look who's here.
- Hello.
230
00:09:52,716 --> 00:09:54,550
Oh, hey.
231
00:09:54,551 --> 00:09:56,920
Holly was just showing me
some of her new outfits.
232
00:09:56,954 --> 00:09:58,255
Oh, how de-lovely.
233
00:09:58,256 --> 00:10:00,523
Shall we begin
this magic carpet ride?
234
00:10:00,557 --> 00:10:02,392
- [Laughs]
- [Chuckles]
235
00:10:02,393 --> 00:10:04,761
I'm sorry, Holly.
Can we do this another time?
236
00:10:04,762 --> 00:10:08,098
Of course, no worries.
Have a nice time.
237
00:10:08,132 --> 00:10:11,501
[Whimpering sigh]
238
00:10:11,502 --> 00:10:12,903
Are you okay?
239
00:10:12,937 --> 00:10:17,440
Oh, yeah, I'll just be here...
All alone.
240
00:10:17,441 --> 00:10:22,712
No man, no girlfriend,
no hope.
241
00:10:22,746 --> 00:10:25,748
See?
She's great, let's beat it.
242
00:10:25,783 --> 00:10:27,117
Yeah, you guys go.
243
00:10:27,118 --> 00:10:28,751
You know,
I want someone to be happy.
244
00:10:28,752 --> 00:10:30,387
[Laughs]
245
00:10:30,388 --> 00:10:33,089
- Maybe I'll just call Paul.
- No!
246
00:10:33,124 --> 00:10:35,558
No, that is the worst thing
you can do.
247
00:10:35,559 --> 00:10:37,127
Really?
248
00:10:37,128 --> 00:10:40,663
Haskell, I'm sorry, I can't
leave Holly alone tonight.
249
00:10:40,664 --> 00:10:42,632
Would you mind
taking a rain check?
250
00:10:42,666 --> 00:10:44,267
- Well, I...
- Of course he wouldn't.
251
00:10:44,268 --> 00:10:48,604
Would you,
you sweet, sweet man?
252
00:10:48,639 --> 00:10:52,842
Of course not,
my dear, dear friend.
253
00:10:52,843 --> 00:10:55,778
So that's how
you're gonna play it, huh?
254
00:10:55,779 --> 00:10:57,780
Well, just so you know,
255
00:10:57,781 --> 00:11:01,284
from this moment on,
there are no rules.
256
00:11:03,387 --> 00:11:05,388
No rules!
257
00:11:10,260 --> 00:11:12,729
All right, look.
On the count of three,
258
00:11:12,730 --> 00:11:14,831
we'll hang up together,
all right?
259
00:11:14,832 --> 00:11:20,437
Ready?
One, two, three.
260
00:11:20,438 --> 00:11:25,141
No, you hang up.
[Chuckles]
261
00:11:25,142 --> 00:11:28,911
In the virgin world,
that was phone sex.
262
00:11:28,912 --> 00:11:31,214
Still running
your game, huh?
263
00:11:31,248 --> 00:11:33,483
I intend to close tonight.
264
00:11:33,484 --> 00:11:35,418
I've been around that hot,
little body for three days
265
00:11:35,419 --> 00:11:37,821
and it's killing me, Stuart!
It's killing me!
266
00:11:37,855 --> 00:11:40,156
Phil,
have you no conscience?
267
00:11:40,157 --> 00:11:41,391
For once in your life,
why don't you try
268
00:11:41,425 --> 00:11:43,360
listening to this
instead of...
269
00:11:43,361 --> 00:11:47,163
Don't you tap that.
270
00:11:47,164 --> 00:11:48,798
And look who's talking.
271
00:11:48,799 --> 00:11:51,100
I'm not the only one
whose big dog's driving the bus.
272
00:11:51,134 --> 00:11:54,971
Okay, all right, point taken,
but that ends tonight.
273
00:11:54,972 --> 00:11:56,673
- I'm meeting Sabrina...
- Ah.
274
00:11:56,674 --> 00:11:58,307
Ah.
At the bar,
275
00:11:58,308 --> 00:12:00,910
and the relationship
will not move forward
276
00:12:00,911 --> 00:12:02,545
until I know
everything about her
277
00:12:02,546 --> 00:12:07,216
and she knows more about me
than just my safe word.
278
00:12:07,217 --> 00:12:09,118
So that's why
you kept yelling,
279
00:12:09,119 --> 00:12:12,321
"creme brulee!
Creme brulee!"
280
00:12:13,557 --> 00:12:16,225
Are you okay, Stuart?
281
00:12:16,226 --> 00:12:18,227
I'm fine.
282
00:12:21,499 --> 00:12:23,065
- Hi, Sabrina.
- Hey, baby.
283
00:12:23,066 --> 00:12:26,269
Hi.
284
00:12:26,303 --> 00:12:29,205
Sit... ah!
No, uh, no, no.
285
00:12:29,206 --> 00:12:31,908
No, have a seat.
I thought maybe we could talk
286
00:12:31,909 --> 00:12:33,276
for a change,
get to know each other.
287
00:12:33,310 --> 00:12:36,780
Really?
288
00:12:36,781 --> 00:12:38,948
Yes, yes.
289
00:12:38,949 --> 00:12:40,950
Look, for this
to work for me,
290
00:12:40,984 --> 00:12:43,052
we need to connect
on a deeper level.
291
00:12:43,053 --> 00:12:44,421
Oh.
292
00:12:44,422 --> 00:12:46,489
Tell me about yourself.
I want to know the real Sabrina.
293
00:12:46,524 --> 00:12:47,990
Sure.
What do you want to know?
294
00:12:48,025 --> 00:12:50,226
- What do you do for a living?
- I work in a hospital.
295
00:12:50,260 --> 00:12:51,828
Oh, wonderful.
Doctor, nurse?
296
00:12:51,862 --> 00:12:55,865
In collections.
297
00:12:55,866 --> 00:12:56,999
Ah.
298
00:12:57,034 --> 00:12:59,235
Yeah, say somebody
gets a new heart
299
00:12:59,236 --> 00:13:00,670
and their insurance
runs out,
300
00:13:00,671 --> 00:13:02,271
I'm that scary voice
that wakes them up
301
00:13:02,272 --> 00:13:06,676
in the middle of the night
threatening to take their house.
302
00:13:06,677 --> 00:13:08,277
Wow, what a job.
303
00:13:08,312 --> 00:13:09,546
I know.
304
00:13:09,547 --> 00:13:12,649
How often do you get to do
something you love?
305
00:13:15,953 --> 00:13:17,454
Okay, moving on.
306
00:13:17,455 --> 00:13:19,422
How about your personal life?
Do you have any kids?
307
00:13:19,457 --> 00:13:22,992
Two.
No, three.
308
00:13:23,026 --> 00:13:27,363
- Yeah... three.
- [Chuckles]
309
00:13:27,397 --> 00:13:30,467
Wow.
And do they live with you?
310
00:13:30,501 --> 00:13:33,269
No, God, no.
I fobbed them off on my mother.
311
00:13:33,270 --> 00:13:35,438
Somebody's got
to keep her sober.
312
00:13:38,308 --> 00:13:40,242
Okay, I've heard enough.
313
00:13:40,243 --> 00:13:42,278
Sabrina,
I've gotten to know you,
314
00:13:42,279 --> 00:13:44,180
and don't take this
the wrong way,
315
00:13:44,214 --> 00:13:47,016
but you are the most horrid,
despicable...
316
00:13:47,017 --> 00:13:50,286
[Shudders]
317
00:13:50,320 --> 00:13:52,555
Hello, is that your foot?
318
00:13:52,590 --> 00:13:54,824
Uh-huh.
319
00:13:54,859 --> 00:13:56,526
[Sighs]
320
00:13:56,527 --> 00:14:00,029
No, no, no, no, no, no, I can't.
I can't, you're a monster.
321
00:14:00,030 --> 00:14:01,197
Uh-huh.
322
00:14:01,231 --> 00:14:03,600
There's a handicap stall
in the ladies room.
323
00:14:03,601 --> 00:14:05,301
Why don't we wheel out
whoever's in there
324
00:14:05,302 --> 00:14:07,203
and get freaky
on each other?
325
00:14:10,875 --> 00:14:14,243
- To new friends.
- New friends.
326
00:14:14,244 --> 00:14:16,178
Mmm.
Both: Refill.
327
00:14:16,179 --> 00:14:18,114
[Both laugh]
328
00:14:18,115 --> 00:14:19,248
I'll be right back.
329
00:14:19,282 --> 00:14:20,383
- Oof.
- Ahh.
330
00:14:20,384 --> 00:14:23,085
[Humming]
331
00:14:23,120 --> 00:14:26,990
Oh.
[Humming]
332
00:14:27,024 --> 00:14:30,660
I'll take a trim,
a heel shave,
333
00:14:30,661 --> 00:14:33,095
and... French tips.
334
00:14:33,096 --> 00:14:35,965
After all, I am wearing
peek-a-boo sandals.
335
00:14:35,966 --> 00:14:38,902
Haskell!
How did you get in here?
336
00:14:38,903 --> 00:14:40,236
This is women-only.
337
00:14:40,270 --> 00:14:42,539
Oh, well, these days,
nobody questions it.
338
00:14:42,540 --> 00:14:43,806
Because if you're wrong,
339
00:14:43,807 --> 00:14:45,942
you're a supreme court
test case.
340
00:14:45,976 --> 00:14:47,109
[Both laugh]
341
00:14:47,110 --> 00:14:49,546
Okay... oh, sorry, lady,
that's my seat.
342
00:14:49,580 --> 00:14:52,281
Was your seat, toots.
343
00:14:52,282 --> 00:14:54,851
Oh, hell no!
344
00:14:54,885 --> 00:14:57,219
Excuse me, I'm just gonna
steal him away for one second.
345
00:14:57,220 --> 00:15:00,623
Whoa, watch the Polish,
watch the Polish.
346
00:15:00,624 --> 00:15:03,526
- Sneaking into a women's spa?
- Mm.
347
00:15:03,527 --> 00:15:06,228
- You got some set of balls.
- [Chuckles]
348
00:15:06,263 --> 00:15:08,097
I'm serious,
close your robe.
349
00:15:08,131 --> 00:15:09,933
Oh.
350
00:15:09,934 --> 00:15:13,202
You think that you can steal
my woman and get away with it?
351
00:15:13,236 --> 00:15:14,403
- [Laughs]
- Ha!
352
00:15:14,438 --> 00:15:17,440
Who looks
like the fool now?
353
00:15:17,441 --> 00:15:18,942
- Dah!
- Man in the house!
354
00:15:18,943 --> 00:15:20,076
- Man in the house!
- Give me that!
355
00:15:20,077 --> 00:15:21,243
Give me that, you!
356
00:15:21,244 --> 00:15:22,612
[Both struggling]
357
00:15:22,613 --> 00:15:24,647
Oh, dear.
Oh... oh, my God.
358
00:15:24,682 --> 00:15:26,616
- Ah.
- Oh, oh, oh.
359
00:15:26,650 --> 00:15:29,518
[Yells]
This is an outrage!
360
00:15:29,519 --> 00:15:31,487
I want my locker deposit
back!
361
00:15:31,488 --> 00:15:34,991
And I was promised
a beauty bag!
362
00:15:35,025 --> 00:15:36,793
Oh, thank God.
[Chuckles]
363
00:15:36,794 --> 00:15:37,894
Oh!
364
00:15:37,895 --> 00:15:39,829
All right,
I'll call you soon, bff.
365
00:15:39,830 --> 00:15:41,898
And I'll call you sooner.
Get off of me!
366
00:15:41,899 --> 00:15:42,999
Oh, give it up.
367
00:15:51,193 --> 00:15:53,160
[Both chuckling]
368
00:15:53,161 --> 00:15:56,063
This is...
This is fun.
369
00:15:56,064 --> 00:15:58,466
There's gonna be a big payoff
for you at the end of this.
370
00:15:58,500 --> 00:16:00,834
Mittens.
371
00:16:00,835 --> 00:16:03,471
You know,
372
00:16:03,472 --> 00:16:06,707
Dana, these past few days
have been amazing.
373
00:16:06,708 --> 00:16:09,243
You know, it's so freeing
to have sex off the table.
374
00:16:09,277 --> 00:16:10,911
- Phew.
- By now,
375
00:16:10,912 --> 00:16:13,214
the old me would've come up
with some excuse
376
00:16:13,215 --> 00:16:16,384
to take your hand
and caress your fingers.
377
00:16:16,385 --> 00:16:19,387
Uh-huh.
378
00:16:19,421 --> 00:16:24,492
The old me would've brushed
your hair out of your face
379
00:16:24,493 --> 00:16:27,228
so I could look
at those beautiful eyes.
380
00:16:27,262 --> 00:16:29,696
Uh-huh.
381
00:16:29,697 --> 00:16:33,434
And what else
would the old you have done?
382
00:16:33,435 --> 00:16:39,306
Well, the old me
would've leaned in for a kiss.
383
00:16:44,479 --> 00:16:48,749
[Both moaning]
384
00:16:48,750 --> 00:16:51,952
- Oh, I'm so glad we waited.
- Me too!
385
00:16:51,986 --> 00:16:54,388
- You're really special, Phil.
- You too.
386
00:16:54,389 --> 00:16:58,059
- So sweet, so sincere.
- [Giggles]
387
00:16:58,060 --> 00:16:59,826
[Internal voice]
Sincere? Really, Phil?
388
00:16:59,827 --> 00:17:02,563
This may be a game for you,
but it's not for her.
389
00:17:02,597 --> 00:17:05,099
This is nice.
390
00:17:05,133 --> 00:17:06,567
[Internal voice]
Stuart's right.
391
00:17:06,568 --> 00:17:09,736
For once in your life, stop
being led around by your penis.
392
00:17:09,737 --> 00:17:11,439
Man, don't listen to him.
393
00:17:11,440 --> 00:17:12,873
Huh?
394
00:17:12,874 --> 00:17:14,475
Yo, down here.
395
00:17:14,476 --> 00:17:17,978
Have I ever
steered you wrong, dog?
396
00:17:18,012 --> 00:17:21,115
- Is everything okay?
- Yeah, yeah, all good.
397
00:17:21,149 --> 00:17:22,916
- Okay.
- Damn right, it's all good.
398
00:17:22,917 --> 00:17:25,619
Slide a hat on me.
399
00:17:25,653 --> 00:17:27,154
[Internal voice]
Phil, you can't do this.
400
00:17:27,155 --> 00:17:28,622
She's making you mittens.
401
00:17:28,623 --> 00:17:30,857
You went to church
with her Nana.
402
00:17:30,858 --> 00:17:34,761
Church? Nana?
Hoo!
403
00:17:34,762 --> 00:17:39,833
I have fallen
and I can't get up.
404
00:17:39,834 --> 00:17:42,769
Phil?
405
00:17:42,770 --> 00:17:45,639
I'm gonna need a minute.
406
00:17:45,673 --> 00:17:49,009
[Gasps]
I think I know what's wrong.
407
00:17:49,010 --> 00:17:50,177
- No.
- Oh!
408
00:17:50,212 --> 00:17:51,512
No, no,
nothing's wrong.
409
00:17:51,513 --> 00:17:53,347
Please forgive me, Phil.
410
00:17:53,348 --> 00:17:56,016
I nearly corrupted you
and took away your virginity.
411
00:17:56,050 --> 00:17:58,952
Take it!
It's yours!
412
00:17:58,953 --> 00:18:01,555
You be strong,
for both of us.
413
00:18:01,556 --> 00:18:03,457
[Sighs]
You are a good man.
414
00:18:03,458 --> 00:18:06,793
No!
No, I'm a bad, bad man!
415
00:18:06,828 --> 00:18:09,830
Let me prove it to you!
416
00:18:10,965 --> 00:18:13,967
Don't you touch me.
417
00:18:19,474 --> 00:18:22,176
Let's just agree to never let
a woman come between us again.
418
00:18:22,177 --> 00:18:25,379
Agreed, and if you still need
a girlfriend to talk to,
419
00:18:25,380 --> 00:18:26,514
I'm your man.
420
00:18:26,548 --> 00:18:28,582
Thanks,
but our little lady's back.
421
00:18:28,583 --> 00:18:29,683
Eden just texted me.
422
00:18:29,684 --> 00:18:30,684
She's back
from her aunt's funeral.
423
00:18:30,685 --> 00:18:32,019
Oh.
424
00:18:32,053 --> 00:18:33,621
Whoa, whoa, whoa!
Stop, stop!
425
00:18:33,622 --> 00:18:37,124
- Oh, my God!
- [Grunts]
426
00:18:37,125 --> 00:18:40,461
Wha...
What the hell is that?
427
00:18:40,495 --> 00:18:42,296
I think it's a dog.
428
00:18:42,297 --> 00:18:44,565
It's what my great aunt
left me.
429
00:18:44,599 --> 00:18:47,067
I thought you said she was
leaving you a giant ruby.
430
00:18:47,101 --> 00:18:49,736
Yeah, she did.
Meet Ruby.
431
00:18:49,737 --> 00:18:53,174
Sit, sit, sit.
Sit.
432
00:18:53,175 --> 00:18:54,441
- Oh.
- Okay.
433
00:18:54,442 --> 00:18:57,044
Or drag me through the streets.
Your call.
434
00:18:57,045 --> 00:18:59,046
[Screams]
435
00:19:01,383 --> 00:19:04,351
Bartender, can I get
a double Jack, straight up?
436
00:19:04,386 --> 00:19:06,387
Stay close.
437
00:19:06,388 --> 00:19:09,456
[Stuttering]
Creme brulee! Creme brulee!
438
00:19:09,457 --> 00:19:11,758
Ah.
439
00:19:11,759 --> 00:19:14,695
- You okay, Stuart?
- When is that woman gonna learn
440
00:19:14,696 --> 00:19:17,431
that "creme brulee"
means "creme brulee"?
441
00:19:17,432 --> 00:19:20,167
I see you're really
getting to know Sabrina.
442
00:19:20,168 --> 00:19:21,602
Oh, no, I did.
443
00:19:21,603 --> 00:19:24,738
She's the most vile,
repulsive woman I've ever met.
444
00:19:24,739 --> 00:19:28,442
And I can't quit her.
445
00:19:28,476 --> 00:19:31,044
I'm at the mercy
of my male parts.
446
00:19:31,045 --> 00:19:33,514
I've become you.
447
00:19:33,548 --> 00:19:35,949
Yeah, well,
I've become you.
448
00:19:35,950 --> 00:19:37,484
Got me all in my head,
449
00:19:37,485 --> 00:19:39,019
thinking about being
a better person,
450
00:19:39,020 --> 00:19:41,088
and damn it, I was!
451
00:19:41,089 --> 00:19:44,291
- Wait, so you...
- No, I couldn't.
452
00:19:44,292 --> 00:19:46,427
My conscience bitch-slapped
my dingus.
453
00:19:46,428 --> 00:19:48,662
Oh.
454
00:19:48,663 --> 00:19:50,831
I just hope you haven't
ruined me for all women now.
455
00:19:50,832 --> 00:19:53,934
Hey, baby.
456
00:19:53,935 --> 00:19:56,437
You with me, Phil?
457
00:19:56,438 --> 00:19:58,439
Right behind you,
big dog.
458
00:19:58,440 --> 00:20:01,173
Sync & corrections by Rafael UPD
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459
00:20:01,223 --> 00:20:05,773
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