All language subtitles for The Almighty Johnsons s03e09 Mike In the Mirror.eng

ANDERS: She is way too smart,
and she is so not your type.

COLIN: Word in her ear,
your sweet powers of persuasion,

- just to tip her over the edge.
- ANDERS: Never.

(yells)

That's right. Hod's back.

- Don't go down that road, Mike.
- What road?

The Odin road.

JOE: You love running
this family.

If you weren't in charge,
you'd be bloody miserable.

- You're a miracle worker.
- That's me.

It won't do anything for you.
It's a chick thing.

- Jormungand is stirring.
- Yes, Mike. Big time.

If I, Odin, find the Frigg
then the first thing I'll do

is deal to Jormungand
and therefore stop Ragnarok.

- And thereby save the world.
- Exactly.

I am Frigg. I seek a man-god,
worthy of the name "Odin".

Whoa!

I've got it. I've so got it!

Whatever it is, I don't want it.

I had this incredible dream.
I saw the Frigg.

- You saw her?
- In a beer commercial.

For "Odin's Ale."
This is how we find her!

- Watching beer commercials?
- Making beer commercials.

(groans) I've gotta stop
bringing home free pizzas, man.

Mozzarella build-up must be
destroying your brain.

We call for auditions
for the commercial.

To try out, girls have to have
all the things Frigg might be:

Norwegian heritage;
C to D cup...

Where is it prophesied about
Frigg's bra size?

That was more for me.
We'll leave that out.

Point is, rather than search
for a needle in a haystack

we get the Frigg to come to us.

- We smoke her out!
- Odin's Ale.

Is it like a lager
or more of a hoppy kind of...?

Our beer doesn't exist, Axl.
That's the beauty of the plan.

We don't have to make the beer,
we don't have to make the ad,

we just have to hold
the auditions!

- And she will come to us.
- Yes!

On second thoughts, this might
be our best idea ever.

Sync & corrections by Alice
www.addic7ed.com

DAWN: "Gundersen issued
a statement

withdrawing from the mayoral
campaign for personal reasons,

- effective immediately."
- And the city is saved.

- DAWN: He is such a wanker.
- You hold onto that thought.

- A well-paying wanker.
- Money's not everything.

You hold on to that thought
while we go out of business.

Something else more acceptable
than Colin will come along.

Is that what you were doing
the other night in the alley?

How do you mean?
Telling Colin how unacceptable

- his business is?
- Yeah, something like that.

- Why? What did you see?
- Nothing.

I left, like you told me
to. Why was Ty there?

To help me if Colin
didn't like what I said.

You know what a coward I am.

Ah, young people up before
midday. Must be important.

We're here to pick your brains.
Hey, Dawn.

- Then pick away.
- It's kind of about our, um,

you know, mutual problem.

- Zeb?
- Hey!

No. Not him.

The problem we have... mutually.

- Would you like me to leave?
- Yeah. If that's OK.

Well, I'll go and stand
on a street corner yelling,

- "Anyone here need PR?"
- You go do that, Dawn.

- So, what mutual problem?
- Finding Frigg.

To clarify,
you're still pursuing the quest?

Of course.
It's my duty, as Odin.

Last I recall
you took off with Dad

to find yourself or some
such shit, not Frigg.

Yeah, well, I'm back now
and I'm totally on the quest.

How?

Ah, we got Ingrid all over
researching the genealogy crap.

Except for the fact that she's
kinda gone missing lately.

Good start. And...?

And I'm using my pizza delivery
job as a cover for,

as I think of it,
"intuitive covert research."

You'll stumble across your
goddess by delivering her pizza?

- Yes.
- How's that working out?

- It's early days.
- We have the best idea ever.

hold open auditions for Frigg
in a fake beer commercial.

We just need to make a big
noise. Get the word out there.

So the real Frigg will hear,
and get curious.

- That's where I come in, right?
- Yes. To spread the word.

The word that two half-wits
have had possibly

the lamest idea in
the history of thought?

- How is this lame?
- If you're Frigg,

why in Thor's name

would you want to be in
an ad playing Frigg?

Doesn't that kind of
blow your cover?

- I thought you wanted to help?
- I am your quest's biggest fan.

- Then why won't you help?
- It's a terrible idea

that will land everyone
involved in shit!

- We'll do it by ourselves.
- OK. Good luck.

- I mean that sincerely.
- You don't.

- You're as bad as Mike.
- What's Mike got to do with it?

- Doesn't matter.
- OK, look, I will help.

- By organizing the auditions?
- No, by tracking down Ingrid.

That's the least stupid
one of your ideas,

just above the pizza one.

But as for the ad, boys,
you're on your own.

For someone so overworked,
you're kind of glowing.

Thank you. Medicine can be
a very fulfilling career

- if you let it.
- Right.

This great research project
of yours.

The pathophysiology
and treatment

of metabolic
bone diseases.

That. Yeah.
The one that means that

you're working every hour of
every day at the hospital.

- Not every hour of every day.
- How long will it be going on?

Things will be back to normal
soon. I'll make it up to you.

I promise. How 'bout you?
Maybe start on downstairs today?

- Maybe, see how it goes.
- Well, whatever you do,

- you have a great day, OK?
- Yeah. You too.

She's hiding something.
I know she is.

She is a woman.
It's in their nature.

She knows that I know
but she's waiting for me to ask.

Then ask.

You haven't learnt much in your
90-whatever years, have you?

(laughs) About women?
Of course not.

Oh, it's OK. I just need one.
Thanks.

Doesn't being suspicious tend
to indicate a bit of a problem

- in the trust department?
- Yeah, but if I act on it

and it turns out to be
something I have no right

to be suspicious about,
then the trust is breached.

OK, this is where relationships
and me part company.

- OLAF: Is she having an affair?
- MIKE: No.

OLAF: You sound pretty sure
for a suspicious man.

- Well, why would she?
- True, Mike.

You're all the man
any woman needs.

MIKE: Affairs bring guilt.
Michele's not guilty.

She's content.

She's suspiciously content
about something.

I suspect it might be
a goddess thing.

OLAF: OK.
Stay away from that shit.

MIKE: Yeah, exactly.

Unless she's plotting
to kill you. I'm just saying.

- How's it going?
- MAN: Good, thanks.

No, if she wants me to know
what sort of goddessy shit

she's got going on,
she'll tell me.

That would seem logical.

And, just out of interest,
have you told her about

your godly shit that you're
now using for monetary gain

- on a regular basis?
- Hell, no.

As long as there's
no double standard.

Shut up, Grandpa.

So I'll ask for this
week's wages in advance

- to pay for camera hire.
- Take a look.

- AXL: Whoa. Good work.
- Screw Anders and his scorn.

He's old. This is our world now.

We have pages on every major
social media site

all linked back to
our audition page.

The best part is...
100 plus responses already.

- Man.
- I've got a good feeling.

- You're in my chair.
- Where's Ingrid freeloading?

I wish I could help,
but I haven't seen her in ages.

Busy lives, we don't
cross paths that often.

You're lying your arse off. And
you are the world's worst liar

with not much in the arse
department either.

Get out of my chair.

Tell you what, you tell me
where Ingrid is right now

and you can have
your chair back.

This is also a 20% deposit

on your own personal
healing session,

should you choose to book one
after you've heard the healer.

Oh, my goodness.
What are you doing here?

I'd quite like to meet
this Goddess Healer, actually.

- She sounds neat.
- No. That's not possible.

- Why not?
- It's a woman thing.

Are you denying me cos
I have a penis, Ingrid?

I mean,
that doesn't sound right.

Women sometimes ask,

how did I learn to do
these wonderful things?

I'll tell you a secret.
I didn't "learn" anything.

What I did was "un-learn."

I un-learned doubt.
I un-learned fear.

I un-learned distrust.

And when I left those things
behind me... I found me.

We know that the world is full
of people all about themselves.

The self-interested.
The manipulators.

But today, ladies,
you take the first steps

in saying goodbye
to those negative energies.

Today you turn away from things
that are holding you back.

The things that are causing you
pain. Making you sick.

Today, with me you begin
the journey to discover

the goddess that lies within.

Today you allow yourselves to be
the women you were born to be.

The healer's one-on-one sessions
will start in half an hour,

in the executive suite. We still
have one or two spaces left.

I'm sorry I didn't stay for the
whole empowering blah blah spiel

but I didn't want to undermine
your beautiful words by laughing

- so hard I wet my pants.
- You don't belong here.

- Because I have a prick?
- Because you are a prick.

It's good to see you got rid
of all those negative energies.

I really like what you're doing,
the whole new-age crap, Michele.

The Goddess Healer, excellent.

Now my educated guess is that
you're healing these suckers

of their aches and pains
with Yggdrasil, aren't you?

- I'm changing people's lives.
- With my stick.

You're talk. I'm action.

And that is what
the Goddess Healer is all about.

- Using her powers to do good.
- And a pile of cash.

- Go away, Anders.
- I just want to help.

Or, put it another way...
I want in.

What's Mike's opinion on this?
I'm just interested to know.

- Get in.
- OK.

Thanks for coming. I thought
we should check out the set

before we shoot. In the film
industry we call this "a recce."

All good. I just have to
be quick, I'm on a job.

In the pizza industry
we call this "a delivery."

I've been working on the script.
I think it's really quite good.

They're doing a production
of Oklahoma.

We just need to be out by 6:30.

"The setting sun reflects
over the fjords."

Do fjords have wishing wells?

We have to work around
their set.

You'll be in your
producer's chair, over there.

I'll be operating the camera.

I've put together a final list
of auditionees.

It'll be tight, but I think
we can get them all.

Shit, Zeb. The name of the Frigg
could be right here in my hand.

When she walks in that door,
when the lights go nuts

and we finally find her,
we save the world.

- (laughs)
- Boom.

I like waking up beside you.

Hello, Ty?

Ty, it's Dawn.

Ty?

Hello.

- Ty.
- Dawn?

Shit. I just came round to give
you back your cupcake thingy.

And the back door was open.

Well, this is so rude,
it must look terrible.

Yeah, thought I might have
to use my martial arts skills.

But since it's you,
I'll let you off.

Thanks, that was thoughtful.

No worries.

So are you still doing
your ice carving?

That's an odd thing to ask.
How do you know about that?

You must have mentioned it once.

I don't remember doing so.

But, you do, right?
Or you used to?

Used to, yeah.
Listen, Dawn, I'm kind of busy.

I'm pretty sure you need
to get back to work.

Yeah, you're right.
Flat-out at the office.

Sorry if I offended you,
barging in like this.

- It's always nice to see you.
- OK. Well. See you soon.

So you know, there is a fine
line between healing and pain.

- I bet you're good at both.
- Oh, yes.

If you screw this up
I will be very unhappy.

- All I want to do is watch.
- I bet you like to watch.

No, I like to participate
but we'll get to that later.

- (phone rings)
- Can I just...?

Ty, this is a really bad time.

Did you tell Dawn
about me ice carving?

Of course not. Why would I?
To bore her to death?

- (knocking on door)
- Look, I have to go.

In there. Do not make a sound.

If you do I have another use
for the stick,

the same technique
they use on baby seals.

Healer, this is Ngaire who
has been troubled with lumbago

for much of her life. Ngaire,
this is Michele, the healer.

- Hello.
- Hello. My friend Deirdre

said to tell you that her
endometriosis has completely...

Oh, sorry.

The healer prefers
if you don't talk

so that she can
summon her powers.

- Please, close your eyes.
- OK.

I've seen dozens of doctors
about it.

- I've tried every remedy.
- Shh.

Yes. Sorry.

You can open your eyes.

- How do you feel now?
- I don't feel any pain.

It's all gone. Oh, my Lord...

Then go and live your life.
Be the goddess you can be.

- Thank you. Thank you!
- Ingrid?

OK, Ngaire, you need
to come with me.

The healer is not big
on physical contact.

- Congratulations. Quite a show.
- I do what I can.

My favorite was the woman
with the bunions.

The look on your face when
you had to touch her feet.

I bring profound change
into people's lives.

- What do you get paid?
- This is women helping women.

Wonderful.
And what goes in the bank?

I pocket maybe five K.
For two hours' work, tops.

I could do without
the hugging and the tears.

Healed people can be
so needy. But still...

- Five thousand?
- It's not bad compensation.

For performing miracles? I'd say
you're selling yourself short.

Last guy that did
this sort of thing

started a multinational business
that's been going 2,000 years.

Ingrid and I are being
very discreet.

- You're cocking that up too.
- We agreed as partners.

What does your "partner"
bring to the deal?

Ingrid organizes things.
Venue, bookings,

one-on-one appointments,
the financials.

- She's surprisingly good at it.
- Hmm, yeah, except for the bit

where you should be
making millions

and it's all going to
end in disaster.

- So what's your split? 90/10?
- Fifty/fifty.

(laughs) You're not joking?

Boy, you are doing this wrong
in every possible way.

INGRID: Another good day's work!

Another ecstatic bunch of
newly healthy women...

Oh, what's he still doing here?

Witnessing miracles, Ingrid.

The healing of the lumbago,
hallelujah!

He was watching?!
I thought you kicked him out!

- This is sacred goddess space.
- It's alright.

Anders is like a goddess in that
he has no penis to speak of.

Oh, and on that charming note
I shall take my leave.

Keep up the good work, ladies.

- TY: Olaf.
- Hey, Ty. I think I'm addicted.

Can we go somewhere else
and talk?

We can talk here.

Unless you want to wait
until these little balls

stop popping out of the ground,
and daring me to hit them.

Dawn asked me today
about ice-carving.

That's good, isn't it?
You like ice-carving.

Could be a hobby
you do together.

- No, she remembered I did it.
- That's also good, isn't it?

No! It means Hod is back!

I thought we already established
Hod was back.

In bursts. When I'm revved up.

And Hod's not the me I want her
to remember.

- There's way too much baggage.
- Like almost killing her.

(sighs) Yes.
I'm screwed if I'm a god.

I'm screwed if I'm not.
Basically, I'm just screwed.

Hitting golf balls seems
to make everything a lot better.

- You need to try it.
- What I need is to keep

as far as possible
away from Dawn.

Now that is almost
as good as surfing.

Honesty equals freedom?

I still don't see why
you let him watch.

He's probably blabbing
to everyone now.

- He won't do that.
- I've finally got my own place.

I know he's gonna barge in,
not caring about anyone else,

like he always does,
and ruin it.

Ingrid. Un-learn fear.
Un-learn distrust. OK?

I'd like to un-learn
Anders Johnson.

You think Yggdrasil
can help with that?

I can control Anders,
so don't you worry.

- Another tough day?
- It had its moments.

Rolling back the frontiers
of medicine, eh?

Something you want
to talk about, Mike?

Because we can talk if you want.

No, I'm good.

Thanks. Thank you.
Thanks for coming.

Anyone need a script?

Ladies. Welcome.
The producer and I thank you

for your enthusiasm
for our project.

Just a little housekeeping.

The role we're auditioning
for is Frigg.

Frigg is a Norwegian goddess.
So we have some bad news

for the following auditionees:

uh, Indira Singh,
Teuila Fa'amasino.

I am Frigg of the fjords.

When I look out upon the icy
waters of my Norwegian home

I think of the purity of rain
fallen from the heavens...

- This isn't the script.
- I made a few tweaks.

And thank you!
That's all we need!

You were awesome.
We'll let you know.

I am Frigg of the fjords.

When I look upon the icy waters
of my Norwegian home

I think of the purity of rain...

- Nope.
- And thank you!

I am Frigg of the fjords.

When I look out upon the icy
waters of my Norwegian home...

Thank you, we'll let you know.

- I am Frigg of the fjords.
- Nope.

And thank you.

- I am Frigg of the fjords.
- Sorry.

- I am Frigg of the fjords.
- Sorry, not what we're after.

- Thank you.
- Are you sure?

Yes, Zeb.

- I am Frigg of the fjords.
- No. Sorry. Thank you.

Would it help if
I took my top off?

I am Frigg of the fjords.

And when I look out upon the icy
waters of my Norwegian home...

Don't you dare say a word!

- Everything OK?
- Sorry.

I'm here for my meeting
with Anders Johnson.

I'm from State of Mind, the
mental health research group.

- About the re-branding?
- Sorry, he didn't mention you.

He can't be far away.
Won't be a tic.

Hi, it's Anders. Beep coming.
(beep)

Anders, your meeting is here,

call me back ASAP with when you
can get into the office.

- I'm really sorry about this.
- You're a jaw person.

- Sorry?
- People hide their stress

in different places.
You carry yours in your jaw.

Rub either side of your jaw,
to release the tension.

Dealing with the symptom
can help with the cause.

Seems to me you have
two choices.

Either put up with something
that's driving you nuts.

Or take a risk and talk to him.
Being honest can set you free.

- I'll re-schedule...
- So wait! Who are you?

This is hopeless.

Jormungand is out there in the
depths, girding his loins...

I don't think a serpent
has loins.

And we're here watching
talentless bimbos

- recite meaningless lines.
- Meaningless...?

We've seen a hundred girls.
Not one of them has had

the sniff of a Frigg vibe
at all.

- Hey! Are you the beer guys?
- We're the filmmakers, yes.

So you recognize Joelle then.

Or maybe not now you can't
see my fianc?e's nipples.

Your fianc?e?

Did you tell her
to take her top off?

- No. She offered.
- I asked if you wanted me to

- and you didn't say no.
- You didn't give us a chance.

Does she get the role?

- No. I'm sorry.
- Why not?

Because she didn't have quite
what it takes, I'm afraid.

So you two get
to stare at her tits

and she gets nothing out of it?

That's show business, man.

Bullshit!
Bet the beer is shit, too.

- Are you OK?
- Ow.

He said he'd talked to you
about a re-branding campaign.

- Did he have a name?
- No, ne never actually said.

And then he just kind of left.

You alright? You don't
normally forget meetings.

I didn't! He said he
arranged it with you!

- You seem a bit stressed.
- Maybe. So?

Take the day off. It's not
like we're rushed off our feet.

Understatement of the year.
Go do things for you.

- I have things to do for me.
- Like what?

None of your business. Go! Go!

A mental health day.
You're clearly in need of one.

- I can't feel my face now.
- How's it looking?

Oh, OK, not good.

- I can't see out of it.
- Not surprising.

Shit.

What the...?

Man, he got you a good one, huh?

- Mike...?
- Who else would it be?

Uh, me. Given that it's me,
looking in the mirror, at me.

But you are looking at
a reflection of yourself, Axl.

It's concussion. The prick
hit me so hard my brain

- bounced against my skull.
- No, Axl, it's really me.

Which is to say,
it's really you.

- What are you on about?
- Ullr. Odin. One and the same.

No, they're not.

Ullr is Odin by another name.

- The true Odin.
- I am Odin. It's my destiny.

Destiny is what happens next.

Destiny is that I will
find her before you will,

- because I can find anything.
- Why are you saying all this?

You gave it a shot, Axl.
Trying to be Odin.

But everything you do
turns to shit, doesn't it?

So I'm telling you to walk away.

It's time for Ullr to become
Odin. It's better, Axl.

- Zeb!
- For you. For our family.

- I really need you in here.
- For the world.

What?

Tell me what you see
in the mirror.

- I see Zeb and Axl. Why?
- Mike was there.

- In the mirror?
- He was there. Now he's gone.

- I was just talking to him.
- When?

- Just now!
- You weren't talking to anyone.

I was standing right outside.
I didn't hear any talking.

That guy hit you pretty hard.

Maybe you need, like,
a brain scan.

Thought I'd come in
the conventional way this time.

- By being asked.
- Right, yeah, of course. Sorry.

Look, Dawn, it's really nice
to see you and everything.

- But I'm kind of busy.
- I'll be fast.

- What's wrong with your face?
- What? Nothing.

No, just something some guy
told me to do when I'm stressed.

Why are you stressed?

Because... after what
I'm about to say

you'll probably run the
other way every time you see me.

And I wouldn't blame you.

But I've just realized
I've got to be honest.

- What do you mean honest?
- With myself.

That I have to ask.
That I have to know.

Know what?

Were we lovers once?

Not just ordinary lovers.

Real, deep as it gets,
till-the-end of time type stuff?

And, I don't know,
maybe something happened?

Something that made us stop?
I don't know what but maybe

it was so terrible that
I blocked everything out,

but when it's that big
you can't just lock it up,

because it's going to echo...

Oh, God. Shit. I'm sorry.

I've made a complete idiot of
myself. I'm sorry.

I'm...
I'll never disturb you again.

I'm going to go now.

Yes.

Yes, we were.

I loved you with all my heart

and I'm pretty sure
you felt the same.

If I threw up now it would kind
of destroy the moment, right?

Why did I...
How did I forget that?

Because,
if I am honest with you,

which apparently
is the path to freedom...

Our love disappeared
when I stopped being a god.

OK, if this is some kind of
joke, if you and Anders

are gonna get drunk and laugh...

It's not a joke.
It's weird. It's insane.

But it's very, very real.
This is, was... is my life.

Oh, shit.
I am the living incarnation

of the Norse god of all things
dark and cold. Hod.

Look me up on Wiki.
Anyway, we fell in love

and the unfortunate side-effect
of me being Hod

was that I tended to almost
kill you by freezing you.

My cold thing gets kinda out of
control when I get emotional.

- The alley.
- The what?

- There was snow in the alley.
- You saw that?

You were meant to have gone.

It's when it all came
flooding back.

Right. Of course.

The reason you'd forgotten

is that for a while there
I stopped being a god.

Which was good.
But when I wasn't a god anymore

you forget I existed
which was very bad.

And the reason you can remember
me now is that I am Hod again.

Feel free to flee
anytime you like.

So...

You're this god
who makes stuff cold.

Yes. You saw the snow.

And that sort of stuff happens
when you're emotional?

It makes it a lot worse, yes.

So why isn't it cold in here?

- Sorry?
- Is this not emotional for you?

I mean my emotions are
all over the place

I am a mess of emotions
right now, all over the show.

- And now?
- Now I feel like

this huge weight has been
lifted off my shoulders.

- Maybe I cured you.
- What if you haven't?

I'll take my chances.

(phone rings)

- Hello?
- We need to talk.

You didn't say everything
you needed to say?

- I kinda stopped listening.
- We have much to discuss

and you want it,
you know you do.

Stop with the saucy
pick-up lines.

The alternative is
I come over there tonight

and we discuss it with Mike.

I don't respond well
to blackmail, Anders.

My place in 20.

- My god.
- What? What's wrong?

No. I mean you.
That's what you are, right?

My own handsome,

kind, gorgeous god.

Yes. That's me.

So how did it come about anyway?
This Hod god thing.

I was born.
It's kind of in our DNA.

What, your whole family?

- Anders is a god?
- Yep.

A Norse god of
the meaningless root?

He's Bragi, god of poetry.

(laughs)

- No, seriously.
- What?

Is there a power
associated with that?

Yes, yes, there is.

Look, this whole word of mouth
among the sisterhood bullshit?

You cure someone,
they tell ten people,

you cure them,
they tell ten more people

and pretty soon it's
fucking Life of Brian

and you're the new Messiah

and we all know how it ends
for the Messiah, right?

- Go on.
- I warn you, it requires you

to leave your massive ego
at the door. OK.

Imagine if you will
a luxury spa.

A retreat, where clients
go for the whole package.

In beautiful surroundings
they escape from the world.

And some of them get
their ailments healed.

- Some of them?
- Yeah, the ones you deem worthy

and who pay the most
exorbitant fees.

- And the rest?
- They go home,

they've had a nice
break from reality.

Half of them will think they've
been cured. The placebo effect?

You never meet them, plus you
don't get to touch them.

Won't they feel cheated
not meeting the healer?

She's gone.
She doesn't exist anymore.

Look, Michele, this way, my way,

no one knows it's you
that's doing the healing.

You're a masseuse,
you're a physical therapist,

a consultant,
whatever fits the bill

and allows you to lay your hands
on them

and do your healing thing
without this big arrow

pointing towards you saying,

"She's the one, she's
the Messiah, persecute her!"

The best thing is
the clientele that I'm bringing?

- They don't do hugging.
- I'll discuss it with Ingrid.

- Ditch Ingrid. She's deadwood.
- Here's the thing, Anders,

whatever you may think
about this whole thing

being a big Pilates workout
for my ego,

I am not ditching Ingrid.
Goddesses stick together.

But if you can truly deliver,
we have something to talk about.

- You bet I can.
- Prove you can more than talk.

Bring me a man willing to pay
$50,000 to the Goddess Healer.

Do that, and you're in the game.

Done!

Should you be drinking
when you have a brain injury?

I don't have a brain injury.
I definitely saw Mike.

- I am sure you did.
- It was like a vision

where he was totally telling me
what was going on in his head.

- The snake.
- I am such an idiot.

Your beer commercial
was not the best idea ever.

- Not that. Mimir.
- Say what?

- Mimir's Well!
- Good on Mimir.

I'm particularly unwell.
And in pain.

No, "Mimir's Well."
It was a thing.

It would help if you actually
read and understood the myths.

OK, as I've said they're weird,
they make no sense

and then half the time Olaf
tells me they're bullshit.

OK. In Asgard, you, Odin,
got water from Mimir's well.

- Mimir owned the well.
- And?

And something happened at
Mimir's Well

that gave Odin great insight
into the truths of the world.

- You wanna know what it was?
- Thrill me.

His eye. He pulled out his eye
and placed it in the well.

By sacrificing his eye,

he was able to see things
as they really are.

You're saying,
because I damaged my eye...

You now see the truth! That
Mike is plotting against you!

No, that's bullshit.
No way can he ever be Odin.

It's totally plausible,
is all I'm saying.

No way. All the signs
said that I was Odin.

And, in your family, the signs
have never been wrong?

OK, you're starting
to bum me out now, man.

No way would Mike ever try and
shaft me out of being Odin.

A brother does not plot against
his own brother, Zeb.

You've never heard of
Cain and Abel?

This isn't flying a kite, man.
Mike wants your throne.

He wants to replace
you as Allfather.

(text message)

Mike. He wants me to come
to his place. Now.

Did Ty say what this urgent
family meeting is about?

- No, he did not.
- Is it going to take long?

What's this family meeting
about? Did Axl's fake beer ad

- backfire as predicted?
- What?

Yeah, I'm not surprised
he didn't tell you about that.

Cattle-call for
potential Friggs.

Kinda putting your head
above the parapet, eh?

Wouldn't want that happening.

- AXL: Guys...
- OLAF: Look at the shiner.

- Long story.
- MIKE: Mm-hmm.

And would this story
involve a very public campaign

to find the goddess Frigg
through some bogus beer ad?

- What if it does?
- Awesome. Tremendous thinking.

- Did it work?
- Does it look like it worked?

Is she here with me now?
Why is it your concern anyway?

I am trying to keep this family
out of the spotlight.

Head down, you know,
living in the real world.

And you pull a stunt like this?

Who says we have to do
what you say?

Sorry?

- Hey, everyone. Um...
- Hey, Dawn.

Don't you ever pull that
Bragi shit with me again!

Sorry. Got a bit ahead of
the announcement, didn't I?

TY: Teensy bit.

- She knows...?
- Mm-hmm.

- You told her?
- And you have no idea

how good it feels.
You have no idea.

It's alright, Mike. I got this.
Dawn, listen to me.

While I think it's great that
you're in love with Ty

you need to forget about all ...

Are you trying to do
your thing on me?

Is that what he does
when he does his thing?

I thought he was just mumbling.

We will talk about this
at the office.

Anders is gonna get his beans.

And it's a power, not a "thing."

What is wrong with you people?

Can you not understand
that our very survival

depends on us not doing
the shit that you did today?

We don't fucking advertise
our presence to the world!

We don't bring mortals in
whenever we feel like it!

Because pretty soon...

Pretty soon we will be the
freaks that everyone knows about

and we will be hunted
out of existence!

Am I the only one who
gets this?! Am I?

Mike, Ty and Dawn are in love.
We should be happy for them.

And great for them.
But they need to know,

Ty needs to be reminded,
that when you bring a mortal

into our midst it is part
of a much bigger picture.

Thanks, Mike. Thanks for taking
the happiest day of my life

and pissing all over it.
Welcome to my world.

Who are you to say what we
should or shouldn't do, Mike?

Ah, well, I'm the one
who got you this far.

Without a lot of help,
I might add.

- AXL: Where are we, exactly?
- Sorry?

Where do you want us to be,
Mike? In your world.

Well, not chasing some idiotic
idea we're responsible

for global warming.
That would be good for starters.

Message received.
Loud and clear.

Great work, Mike.
Way to forge family unity.

No wonder everyone's behind you
every step of the way.

I can tell from this
you've set up camp on

the high moral ground.
Good luck with that, Mikkel.

I'll be at the driving range
if you need me.

Well, I'll be upstairs
when you're ready.

- What?
- No way are you me.

And you never will be.

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