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1
00:00:29,331 --> 00:00:33,913
Mummy's diary, episode 27...No, 28.
2
00:00:33,914 --> 00:00:36,788
15th April, at...11:42.
3
00:00:36,789 --> 00:00:40,080
Well, I'm on the plane, coming to Greece.
4
00:00:40,081 --> 00:00:43,747
I remember holding you in my arms,
the day you were born,
5
00:00:43,748 --> 00:00:48,748
and now you're getting married.
6
00:00:49,164 --> 00:00:52,497
No, I'm not going to cry,
7
00:00:52,498 --> 00:00:55,538
the way I always do when I film myself.
8
00:00:55,539 --> 00:00:57,372
OK, then...
9
00:00:57,373 --> 00:01:00,538
Next episode: landing!
10
00:01:00,539 --> 00:01:04,955
I love you.
11
00:01:04,956 --> 00:01:07,038
What a sweet thing to do.
12
00:01:07,039 --> 00:01:09,705
It's a surprise for her.
13
00:01:09,706 --> 00:01:12,788
I started when she said
she was getting married.
14
00:01:12,789 --> 00:01:14,955
A lovely present.
15
00:01:14,956 --> 00:01:16,872
There's a big fat cheque too.
16
00:01:16,873 --> 00:01:19,413
One's daughter doesn't get married every day.
17
00:01:19,414 --> 00:01:22,413
As a rule, marriage is a stupid mistake.
18
00:01:22,414 --> 00:01:24,580
But at 22, to some Greek...
19
00:01:24,581 --> 00:01:26,955
Well, it's her life to throw away!
20
00:01:26,956 --> 00:01:29,830
I married young, I'm very happy...
21
00:01:29,831 --> 00:01:30,455
Nikos!
22
00:01:30,456 --> 00:01:32,163
Something's wrong Madam?
23
00:01:32,164 --> 00:01:33,497
Yes, what is this?
24
00:01:33,498 --> 00:01:34,330
This is Feta.
25
00:01:34,331 --> 00:01:36,830
No, it's not. It's cow, not sheep.
26
00:01:36,831 --> 00:01:38,413
Shall I bring you...
27
00:01:38,414 --> 00:01:42,413
No, thanks, I'm fine.
28
00:01:42,414 --> 00:01:46,497
No, don't eat that! It's disgusting.
29
00:01:46,498 --> 00:01:48,038
Where are we?
30
00:01:48,039 --> 00:01:51,038
Hang on, let me check.
31
00:01:51,039 --> 00:01:52,622
Three, two, one...
32
00:01:52,623 --> 00:01:56,497
Welcome to Germany!
We've just crossed the border.
33
00:01:56,498 --> 00:01:58,163
That thing's amazing.
34
00:01:58,164 --> 00:02:02,580
You can follow where you're going
as if you were flying it.
35
00:02:02,581 --> 00:02:05,497
That's weird. We've just changed course.
36
00:02:05,498 --> 00:02:08,538
Delays, here we come!
37
00:02:08,539 --> 00:02:12,247
Ever thought about flying for real?
38
00:02:12,248 --> 00:02:13,580
Of course.
39
00:02:13,581 --> 00:02:16,872
But it'd mean taking lessons with beginners.
40
00:02:16,873 --> 00:02:18,247
And I'm no beginner.
41
00:02:18,248 --> 00:02:21,830
Anyway, my daughter's wedding
has cost me a fortune.
42
00:02:21,831 --> 00:02:23,080
My princess.
43
00:02:23,081 --> 00:02:25,455
Congratulations.
44
00:02:25,456 --> 00:02:27,122
And with this simulator
45
00:02:27,123 --> 00:02:31,622
you can go wherever you like,
whenever you like. Look...
46
00:02:31,623 --> 00:02:33,413
I'd love to go to Japan.
47
00:02:33,414 --> 00:02:35,997
Charles de Gaulle terminal 2A,
48
00:02:35,998 --> 00:02:37,622
take-off for...
49
00:02:37,623 --> 00:02:41,330
Tokyo, 5 years ago, with C�cile.
A great trip, great shopping.
50
00:02:41,331 --> 00:02:42,955
Saint-Barth',
51
00:02:42,956 --> 00:02:44,163
Saint-Trop'...
52
00:02:44,164 --> 00:02:45,663
Saint-F�licien.
53
00:02:45,664 --> 00:02:49,038
We visited a killer cheese factory.
54
00:02:49,039 --> 00:02:53,580
Every year we discover
a new part of France. Its cuisine...
55
00:02:53,581 --> 00:02:57,622
C�cile in the Renault 5
I started my driving school with.
56
00:02:57,623 --> 00:02:59,163
I have a Clio now.
57
00:02:59,164 --> 00:03:02,080
Meg�ve. We go to my chalet every February.
58
00:03:02,081 --> 00:03:05,163
I broke my leg that year.
59
00:03:05,164 --> 00:03:07,247
C�cile when she was born.
60
00:03:07,248 --> 00:03:08,747
And her father?
61
00:03:08,748 --> 00:03:10,455
- He's dead.
- I'm sorry.
62
00:03:10,456 --> 00:03:14,288
They say the good die young. Not this time!
63
00:03:14,289 --> 00:03:17,080
My baby when she was born.
64
00:03:17,081 --> 00:03:18,663
She's cute.
65
00:03:18,664 --> 00:03:20,788
Her mother looks a bit burnt.
66
00:03:20,789 --> 00:03:23,663
I had a witchdoctor put a hex on her.
67
00:03:23,664 --> 00:03:25,830
But she only broke her leg.
68
00:03:25,831 --> 00:03:27,913
A bit of a result, anyway.
69
00:03:27,914 --> 00:03:31,913
Careful!
70
00:03:31,914 --> 00:03:33,830
Sorry.
71
00:03:33,831 --> 00:03:36,580
I didn't know you were here.
72
00:03:36,581 --> 00:03:40,497
You're allowed to fly with new boobs?
73
00:03:40,498 --> 00:03:42,622
I got special permission.
74
00:03:42,623 --> 00:03:44,747
You've got a good seat.
75
00:03:44,748 --> 00:03:46,997
Right next to the shitter!
76
00:03:46,998 --> 00:03:49,913
Ha ha! Now can you leave me alone?
77
00:03:49,914 --> 00:03:52,330
Nice! A present from your wife?
78
00:03:52,331 --> 00:03:55,538
Splashing out at the supermarket, eh?
79
00:03:55,539 --> 00:03:57,413
What is it? Corsica?
80
00:03:57,414 --> 00:03:59,413
No, it's half a heart.
81
00:03:59,414 --> 00:04:01,080
And she has the other half?
82
00:04:01,081 --> 00:04:03,705
How sweet!
83
00:04:03,706 --> 00:04:05,247
Where is er...?
84
00:04:05,248 --> 00:04:10,248
Sylvie. She'll come later.
She didn't want to see your ugly mug.
85
00:04:11,039 --> 00:04:16,039
Oh, Uncle Roger! Still not dead?
86
00:04:32,331 --> 00:04:36,038
Alain! I know it's you!
87
00:04:36,039 --> 00:04:39,080
Alain!
88
00:04:39,081 --> 00:04:40,580
Shit!
89
00:04:40,581 --> 00:04:42,247
Open this door!
90
00:04:42,248 --> 00:04:43,288
Nikos!
91
00:04:43,289 --> 00:04:45,413
This is your captain speaking.
92
00:04:45,414 --> 00:04:49,038
Due to a serious meteorological problem,
93
00:04:49,039 --> 00:04:52,622
we shall have to land in Munich.
94
00:04:52,623 --> 00:04:57,623
Told you, didn't I? Saw it on the computer.
95
00:05:00,331 --> 00:05:02,455
A spectacular phenomenon has occurred
96
00:05:02,456 --> 00:05:05,247
as an Icelandic volcano breathing
a cloud of ashes
97
00:05:05,248 --> 00:05:07,038
is blocking the air traffic
98
00:05:07,039 --> 00:05:12,039
throughout all of northern Europe.
99
00:06:07,414 --> 00:06:12,414
TH E VOLCANO
100
00:06:34,373 --> 00:06:37,872
Darling, there are no flights.
101
00:06:37,873 --> 00:06:41,038
We've been stuck here for hours.
102
00:06:41,039 --> 00:06:42,288
Excuse me.
103
00:06:42,289 --> 00:06:47,289
Switch the TV on. You have TV
in Greece, don't you?
104
00:06:47,539 --> 00:06:49,330
What can I do?
105
00:06:49,331 --> 00:06:53,580
Make a human chain with buckets,
all the way to Iceland?
106
00:06:53,581 --> 00:06:58,581
No, I'm not being cynical,
but there are no flights.
107
00:06:58,706 --> 00:07:01,372
No, I'm just saying it might be a sign.
108
00:07:01,373 --> 00:07:05,288
A wedding without guests or a dress
may not be a wedding.
109
00:07:05,289 --> 00:07:07,372
Excuse me.
110
00:07:07,373 --> 00:07:08,788
Excuse me.
111
00:07:08,789 --> 00:07:10,288
What about your dad?
112
00:07:10,289 --> 00:07:13,413
Behind his stupid looks, he's a sad old man.
113
00:07:13,414 --> 00:07:15,538
He'll be on his way back to Paris.
114
00:07:15,539 --> 00:07:18,038
Yes yes I know I know no more car
115
00:07:18,039 --> 00:07:20,163
but please you have to help me, give me a car.
116
00:07:20,164 --> 00:07:21,413
Sorry. No cars...
117
00:07:21,414 --> 00:07:23,580
Come on, the bus is leaving.
118
00:07:23,581 --> 00:07:25,747
Sir, Sir, do you have a daughter?
119
00:07:25,748 --> 00:07:26,705
Yes, Why ?
120
00:07:26,706 --> 00:07:28,580
I marry my daughter, my little daughter.
121
00:07:28,581 --> 00:07:29,830
I am a father. Father like you.
122
00:07:29,831 --> 00:07:30,330
Look. Look.
123
00:07:30,331 --> 00:07:33,247
Toudoudou...Tou...dou...dou...dou...
124
00:07:33,248 --> 00:07:35,038
No. Please Sir
125
00:07:35,039 --> 00:07:37,288
Give me a car! Give me a car!!!
126
00:07:37,289 --> 00:07:39,122
Sorry. No more cars. Sorry...
127
00:07:39,123 --> 00:07:44,123
Come on, Alain!
128
00:07:47,123 --> 00:07:51,080
Cry, Uncle Roger! Cry!
129
00:07:51,081 --> 00:07:55,038
Please...
130
00:07:55,039 --> 00:07:58,663
Ok Guys, please stop! Stop. Stop.
Stop this now!
131
00:07:58,664 --> 00:07:59,872
A car, A little car, a little car!
132
00:07:59,873 --> 00:08:02,663
OK, here, this is our last car, OK?
133
00:08:02,664 --> 00:08:04,872
Normally, I've to keep it for special guests.
134
00:08:04,873 --> 00:08:07,413
So please, don't tell anybody.
135
00:08:07,414 --> 00:08:08,622
How much is it?
136
00:08:08,623 --> 00:08:09,747
Four Thousand euros, sir.
137
00:08:09,748 --> 00:08:14,748
What?!
138
00:08:17,914 --> 00:08:22,914
Where are you going?
139
00:08:40,498 --> 00:08:45,498
The bastard!
140
00:08:58,998 --> 00:09:01,747
Yes, sweetheart.
141
00:09:01,748 --> 00:09:05,580
Don't worry, I've found a car.
142
00:09:05,581 --> 00:09:09,247
Yes, and I have your dress.
143
00:09:09,248 --> 00:09:10,788
Your mum?
144
00:09:10,789 --> 00:09:13,455
She's on the bus back to Paris.
145
00:09:13,456 --> 00:09:16,122
Well, you can't count on her.
146
00:09:16,123 --> 00:09:18,538
But Daddy's here, eh?
147
00:09:18,539 --> 00:09:22,247
Your friends are here, with Uncle Roger.
148
00:09:22,248 --> 00:09:24,205
Yes, we picked them up.
149
00:09:24,206 --> 00:09:25,788
Hi.
150
00:09:25,789 --> 00:09:27,830
Wicked car!
151
00:09:27,831 --> 00:09:30,580
For 4,000 it should be!
152
00:09:30,581 --> 00:09:34,330
You don't need to thank me, sweetheart.
153
00:09:34,331 --> 00:09:36,955
Someone on the other line?
154
00:09:36,956 --> 00:09:39,622
Your mother? No, don't answer...
155
00:09:39,623 --> 00:09:41,413
Shit! Let's go, quick!
156
00:09:41,414 --> 00:09:43,830
In the car, quick!
157
00:09:43,831 --> 00:09:45,955
Get in the car, quick!
158
00:09:45,956 --> 00:09:49,080
What are you talking about, a bus?
No, I'm with him.
159
00:09:49,081 --> 00:09:50,538
He's right here.
160
00:09:50,539 --> 00:09:54,913
Yes, we have the dress. Everything.
161
00:09:54,914 --> 00:09:57,372
- Say hello.
- Hello.
162
00:09:57,373 --> 00:10:02,373
I'll call you when we're on our way. See you.
163
00:10:02,623 --> 00:10:05,122
Oh, so you wanna play?
164
00:10:05,123 --> 00:10:10,123
I'll make you bleed!
165
00:10:13,081 --> 00:10:14,747
Hey, what are you doing?
166
00:10:14,748 --> 00:10:18,747
I've been caught in the crossfire
between you two before.
167
00:10:18,748 --> 00:10:21,205
I have a few years left, so...
168
00:10:21,206 --> 00:10:22,538
Bye.
169
00:10:22,539 --> 00:10:25,372
No, Uncle, those days are over.
170
00:10:25,373 --> 00:10:30,373
Drive carefully.
171
00:10:37,998 --> 00:10:40,747
Ignition.
172
00:10:40,748 --> 00:10:44,455
Code.
173
00:10:44,456 --> 00:10:48,788
Seat adjustment.
174
00:10:48,789 --> 00:10:51,372
Hands at ten to two.
175
00:10:51,373 --> 00:10:52,913
Interior mirror.
176
00:10:52,914 --> 00:10:57,622
Exterior mirrors.
177
00:10:57,623 --> 00:11:00,497
Tiptronic automatic gearbox.
178
00:11:00,498 --> 00:11:04,163
Indicators.
179
00:11:04,164 --> 00:11:07,705
Headlights, dipped, full beam.
Windscreen wipers:
180
00:11:07,706 --> 00:11:12,706
speed 1, speed 2, speed 3.
181
00:11:13,998 --> 00:11:15,413
GPS,
182
00:11:15,414 --> 00:11:18,705
Greece, Corfu.
183
00:11:18,706 --> 00:11:22,830
A change from your Clio, eh?
184
00:11:22,831 --> 00:11:25,497
Buckle up in the back, please.
185
00:11:25,498 --> 00:11:28,455
You, don't bother!
186
00:11:28,456 --> 00:11:30,747
2,132 kilometres.
187
00:11:30,748 --> 00:11:32,497
Here we go.
188
00:11:32,498 --> 00:11:37,498
No smoking.
189
00:11:53,831 --> 00:11:56,247
We're really pleased to meet you.
190
00:11:56,248 --> 00:11:59,663
C�cile must have told you lots about me.
191
00:11:59,664 --> 00:12:01,580
No, she's never mentioned you.
192
00:12:01,581 --> 00:12:06,581
- What a surprise!
- Or you.
193
00:12:07,914 --> 00:12:11,872
How long have you been married?
194
00:12:11,873 --> 00:12:13,580
- We're divorced.
- Always have been!
195
00:12:13,581 --> 00:12:14,705
I'm sorry.
196
00:12:14,706 --> 00:12:19,706
Would you be sorry about
having a tumour removed?
197
00:12:26,664 --> 00:12:29,205
What do you expect
C�cile to say about you?
198
00:12:29,206 --> 00:12:30,663
Don't start!
199
00:12:30,664 --> 00:12:35,664
"Dad lives in a crappy flat in a crappy
suburb with my stepmother...
200
00:12:37,164 --> 00:12:38,663
"He dresses like a loser,
201
00:12:38,664 --> 00:12:43,247
"and in the evening watches TV
like the loser he is."
202
00:12:43,248 --> 00:12:45,288
"Mum has a whale of a time!
203
00:12:45,289 --> 00:12:47,913
"She has lots of money and lots of boyfriends,
204
00:12:47,914 --> 00:12:51,038
"but no family and no friends.
205
00:12:51,039 --> 00:12:54,080
"She's all alone."
206
00:12:54,081 --> 00:12:56,122
"Dad's such a laugh!
207
00:12:56,123 --> 00:12:58,163
"The funniest thing about him
208
00:12:58,164 --> 00:13:01,038
"is his driving school with only one car.
209
00:13:01,039 --> 00:13:03,705
"Two cars would be too much work.
210
00:13:03,706 --> 00:13:06,622
"Because Dad is a lazy slob!"
211
00:13:06,623 --> 00:13:10,205
"When a sick pet is brought to Mum's clinic,
212
00:13:10,206 --> 00:13:13,038
"Mum shags the customer
because Mum's a slut!"
213
00:13:13,039 --> 00:13:14,122
Take that back!
214
00:13:14,123 --> 00:13:15,872
What, you didn't do that?
215
00:13:15,873 --> 00:13:18,038
- We were separated!
- Not divorced!
216
00:13:18,039 --> 00:13:22,205
I'll lose you your deposit!
217
00:13:22,206 --> 00:13:23,455
Put that down.
218
00:13:23,456 --> 00:13:25,538
Put it down...Put it down!
219
00:13:25,539 --> 00:13:27,080
This is ridiculous.
220
00:13:27,081 --> 00:13:28,955
- Take it back!
- It's OK.
221
00:13:28,956 --> 00:13:30,747
Just keep out of it.
222
00:13:30,748 --> 00:13:33,997
- Take it back!
- Don't open that!
223
00:13:33,998 --> 00:13:38,998
Take it back!
224
00:13:41,539 --> 00:13:42,872
No, don't go.
225
00:13:42,873 --> 00:13:46,163
Reunions are always a bit tricky.
226
00:13:46,164 --> 00:13:51,164
- I know why she never mentions you.
- You're sick!
227
00:13:52,206 --> 00:13:57,206
Come back, please.
Don't leave me alone with her.
228
00:13:59,623 --> 00:14:02,663
Mummy's diary, episode 29.
229
00:14:02,664 --> 00:14:06,413
Still 15th April, at 4:11 p.m.
230
00:14:06,414 --> 00:14:09,580
I'm in one of those fabulous
German motorway caf�s,
231
00:14:09,581 --> 00:14:12,955
where they sell sausage by the metre.
232
00:14:12,956 --> 00:14:16,538
And as your father is a fat bumpkin,
233
00:14:16,539 --> 00:14:20,330
he took two and half metres!
234
00:14:20,331 --> 00:14:24,205
There aren't any flights. What can I say?
235
00:14:24,206 --> 00:14:27,997
I have to go. She's my daughter after all.
236
00:14:27,998 --> 00:14:32,622
Just thinking of this wedding
without you or the kids
237
00:14:32,623 --> 00:14:36,038
makes me want to cry.
238
00:14:36,039 --> 00:14:41,039
Val�rie? No, I don't know where she is.
239
00:14:46,331 --> 00:14:47,830
Go for a wee now.
240
00:14:47,831 --> 00:14:52,831
We're not stopping again.
241
00:14:56,539 --> 00:14:58,872
Be happy
242
00:14:58,873 --> 00:15:02,663
"it'll be a boy" And now here you are
243
00:15:02,664 --> 00:15:05,622
C�cile
244
00:15:05,623 --> 00:15:08,580
My daughter
245
00:15:08,581 --> 00:15:12,038
Here you are, and here am I
246
00:15:12,039 --> 00:15:14,163
I am thirty
247
00:15:14,164 --> 00:15:18,622
And you're six months old
248
00:15:18,623 --> 00:15:20,622
Nose to nose
249
00:15:20,623 --> 00:15:22,622
Looking into each other's eyes
250
00:15:22,623 --> 00:15:27,623
Which of the two of us is the most amazed?
251
00:15:32,998 --> 00:15:35,497
That was brilliant!
252
00:15:35,498 --> 00:15:37,247
Oh, God!
253
00:15:37,248 --> 00:15:40,122
I only hope he does that in front of everyone,
254
00:15:40,123 --> 00:15:45,123
with his voice cracking and sobbing...
Thank you, God!
255
00:15:46,373 --> 00:15:51,373
Pathetic!
256
00:16:06,456 --> 00:16:08,622
I'm sorry.
257
00:16:08,623 --> 00:16:12,705
But put yourself in my place.
That song still winds me up.
258
00:16:12,706 --> 00:16:14,580
It was 22 years ago.
259
00:16:14,581 --> 00:16:17,205
Maybe.
260
00:16:17,206 --> 00:16:19,455
But we decided on Elodie,
261
00:16:19,456 --> 00:16:21,080
then you named her C�cile
262
00:16:21,081 --> 00:16:26,081
because on the way to register the name
you heard that song.
263
00:16:26,539 --> 00:16:28,663
I have a right to be pissed off.
264
00:16:28,664 --> 00:16:33,247
And obviously it was her name
that made you dump us both!
265
00:16:33,248 --> 00:16:36,788
How dare you? We were too young, that's all.
266
00:16:36,789 --> 00:16:38,913
Admit what you did.
267
00:16:38,914 --> 00:16:41,163
You forced me to leave.
268
00:16:41,164 --> 00:16:42,455
The crap you talk!
269
00:16:42,456 --> 00:16:47,456
Not again. We've already discussed this
700,000 times.
270
00:16:48,956 --> 00:16:51,330
But I'll tell you something.
271
00:16:51,331 --> 00:16:54,538
If you sing that at the wedding, I'll be...
272
00:16:54,539 --> 00:16:56,455
moved.
273
00:16:56,456 --> 00:16:57,788
Moved? You?
274
00:16:57,789 --> 00:16:59,872
Look.
275
00:16:59,873 --> 00:17:04,873
Just for this journey,
can we bury the hatchet?
276
00:17:12,289 --> 00:17:13,788
- It's on me.
- No, I'll get it.
277
00:17:13,789 --> 00:17:15,163
No, leave it.
278
00:17:15,164 --> 00:17:20,164
No, I insist.
279
00:17:34,956 --> 00:17:36,288
What's wrong?
280
00:17:36,289 --> 00:17:38,538
Why won't it start?
281
00:17:38,539 --> 00:17:43,539
Shit!
282
00:17:46,206 --> 00:17:50,538
You need the code.
283
00:17:50,539 --> 00:17:55,539
You need a code to start fancy rental cars.
284
00:17:56,123 --> 00:17:57,413
What?
285
00:17:57,414 --> 00:18:01,247
Look at the screen there, with the figures.
286
00:18:01,248 --> 00:18:03,163
There.
287
00:18:03,164 --> 00:18:08,164
Now open the door and move over...bitch.
288
00:18:26,206 --> 00:18:28,788
It's for thieves and half-wits like you.
289
00:18:28,789 --> 00:18:33,789
Oh, OK! Can we go now?
290
00:19:20,498 --> 00:19:21,788
Oh, let me help you.
291
00:19:21,789 --> 00:19:22,788
I got it. No it's OK.
292
00:19:22,789 --> 00:19:24,247
Help you. No. No no no.
293
00:19:24,248 --> 00:19:26,038
I'm not sleeping here.
294
00:19:26,039 --> 00:19:29,872
I'm not sleeping here.
295
00:19:29,873 --> 00:19:32,455
Take the car, then.
296
00:19:32,456 --> 00:19:35,372
The code is 2512.
297
00:19:35,373 --> 00:19:38,330
No, it's 42...No, 0812.
298
00:19:38,331 --> 00:19:39,997
4455...
299
00:19:39,998 --> 00:19:44,998
My fingers remember it, not my brain.
300
00:19:48,748 --> 00:19:52,538
Oh, no!
301
00:19:52,539 --> 00:19:54,497
You love all this, eh?
302
00:19:54,498 --> 00:19:59,498
Yeah, it's nice and traditional.
I'll take the bottom.
303
00:20:00,956 --> 00:20:02,205
I bagsy it!
304
00:20:02,206 --> 00:20:05,872
I said it first, you can't.
305
00:20:05,873 --> 00:20:06,663
I have!
306
00:20:06,664 --> 00:20:08,872
We're going to have a problem.
307
00:20:08,873 --> 00:20:11,080
Yes, we are.
308
00:20:11,081 --> 00:20:12,830
OK, the chinny game!
309
00:20:12,831 --> 00:20:14,038
I'm not a kid.
310
00:20:14,039 --> 00:20:16,747
We always used it to settle things.
311
00:20:16,748 --> 00:20:21,748
OK, but you never made me laugh.
312
00:20:23,623 --> 00:20:25,663
Hold the chin of the other chap
313
00:20:25,664 --> 00:20:28,288
The first to laugh gets a slap!
314
00:20:28,289 --> 00:20:33,289
And the upper bunk!
315
00:20:39,123 --> 00:20:41,205
A riddle for you.
316
00:20:41,206 --> 00:20:46,206
What do you call a fish with no eyes?
317
00:20:47,623 --> 00:20:50,080
A fsh.
318
00:20:50,081 --> 00:20:52,455
A fsh.
319
00:20:52,456 --> 00:20:54,205
Mask of seriousness.
320
00:20:54,206 --> 00:20:56,163
Mask of iron.
321
00:20:56,164 --> 00:21:01,164
Mascarpone.
322
00:21:02,748 --> 00:21:07,748
I am Chinese wise man.
323
00:21:10,831 --> 00:21:12,330
"Hello.
324
00:21:12,331 --> 00:21:14,580
"My name is Val�rie.
325
00:21:14,581 --> 00:21:16,788
"How handsome you are.
326
00:21:16,789 --> 00:21:20,247
"And I am so ugly."
327
00:21:20,248 --> 00:21:21,372
I didn't laugh!
328
00:21:21,373 --> 00:21:26,373
No, you win. I'll take the top bunk.
329
00:21:33,789 --> 00:21:38,789
I don't believe it!
330
00:22:02,581 --> 00:22:04,663
What happened?
331
00:22:04,664 --> 00:22:09,664
You must have had a nightmare.
332
00:22:35,039 --> 00:22:38,080
Why not go with Helmut, then?
333
00:22:38,081 --> 00:22:42,247
Your half-and-half face must make a change
from the routine.
334
00:22:42,248 --> 00:22:45,122
Well, you should know all about "routine".
335
00:22:45,123 --> 00:22:48,038
Missionary position once a month,
336
00:22:48,039 --> 00:22:50,580
then straight off to sleep.
337
00:22:50,581 --> 00:22:53,830
At least I have someone
at home waiting for me.
338
00:22:53,831 --> 00:22:58,247
You couldn't cheat on your cleaning lady
if you wanted to.
339
00:22:58,248 --> 00:23:01,413
One, she's a domestic engineer.
340
00:23:01,414 --> 00:23:04,997
And two, I don't want to cheat on her
because I love her.
341
00:23:04,998 --> 00:23:08,205
But if I did want to, I'd have no problem, OK?
342
00:23:08,206 --> 00:23:13,205
At my school I get the come-on
from chicks like you every day.
343
00:23:13,206 --> 00:23:18,206
I can pull whoever I like. End of discussion.
344
00:23:18,414 --> 00:23:23,288
Whoever I like!
345
00:23:23,289 --> 00:23:25,830
The girl over there.
346
00:23:25,831 --> 00:23:30,831
Get her phone number
and I'll make my own way.
347
00:23:33,206 --> 00:23:34,413
And the dress?
348
00:23:34,414 --> 00:23:38,247
You take it.
349
00:23:38,248 --> 00:23:39,622
That's a crap idea.
350
00:23:39,623 --> 00:23:42,872
I knew it.
351
00:23:42,873 --> 00:23:45,122
No, I'll do it.
352
00:23:45,123 --> 00:23:48,455
It's still crap, though.
353
00:23:48,456 --> 00:23:51,788
And if by some chance you don't manage it...
354
00:23:51,789 --> 00:23:56,247
No, the car's in my name.
355
00:23:56,248 --> 00:24:00,455
Then you travel in the boot.
356
00:24:00,456 --> 00:24:03,205
Me, in the boot?
357
00:24:03,206 --> 00:24:06,747
OK.
358
00:24:06,748 --> 00:24:10,247
You'd better phone C�cile
to tell her you'll be late.
359
00:24:10,248 --> 00:24:15,248
Yeah, go on.
360
00:24:18,539 --> 00:24:23,539
Hi, hello. I am, I am Alan.
361
00:24:34,081 --> 00:24:39,081
What's the dickhead doing?
362
00:24:51,664 --> 00:24:53,872
I'll get your stuff out of the boot.
363
00:24:53,873 --> 00:24:57,538
Can I see that?
364
00:24:57,539 --> 00:25:00,413
Give me that. Give it here!
365
00:25:00,414 --> 00:25:03,163
Starting with 06? French?
366
00:25:03,164 --> 00:25:05,288
She has double nationality.
367
00:25:05,289 --> 00:25:09,413
She's half from here, half French.
368
00:25:09,414 --> 00:25:14,414
06-6722-2576
369
00:25:15,998 --> 00:25:20,998
Someone's calling you. I think it's me.
370
00:25:21,498 --> 00:25:24,788
You couldn't even make a number up.
371
00:25:24,789 --> 00:25:28,705
It was the first to spring to mind.
372
00:25:28,706 --> 00:25:33,706
You're not really going to make me go
in the boot?
373
00:26:10,123 --> 00:26:13,330
You really don't want the bags
on the back seats?
374
00:26:13,331 --> 00:26:18,331
- No, they'd scuff the leather.
- As you wish.
375
00:26:27,498 --> 00:26:29,580
Mummy's diary, episode 30.
376
00:26:29,581 --> 00:26:34,581
I'm eating up the miles on the way to Corfu.
377
00:26:35,706 --> 00:26:38,372
Who's that? Dad?
378
00:26:38,373 --> 00:26:40,538
What were you doing in the boot?
379
00:26:40,539 --> 00:26:42,830
Scared someone'll steal your bag?
380
00:26:42,831 --> 00:26:44,913
Switch that off.
381
00:26:44,914 --> 00:26:49,914
And keep your eyes on the road!
382
00:26:49,998 --> 00:26:52,247
Go on, get out of my way!
383
00:26:52,248 --> 00:26:53,997
Hey, keep a safe distance!
384
00:26:53,998 --> 00:26:58,955
One chevron = danger.
385
00:26:58,956 --> 00:27:00,663
You're a shit driver.
386
00:27:00,664 --> 00:27:04,830
I had a shit teacher.
387
00:27:04,831 --> 00:27:07,663
Don't pick up, stay focused.
388
00:27:07,664 --> 00:27:09,455
No, Val�rie!
389
00:27:09,456 --> 00:27:10,913
Hello, Martine?
390
00:27:10,914 --> 00:27:13,330
No, I haven't checked my e-mail.
391
00:27:13,331 --> 00:27:16,288
I'm stuck with my ex-husband. It's hell.
392
00:27:16,289 --> 00:27:17,913
Watch out!
393
00:27:17,914 --> 00:27:19,122
Look!
394
00:27:19,123 --> 00:27:19,955
Can't you see?
395
00:27:19,956 --> 00:27:21,747
No! My phone!
396
00:27:21,748 --> 00:27:26,748
Here's your phone.
397
00:27:29,456 --> 00:27:34,456
Val�rie!
398
00:27:44,498 --> 00:27:45,622
Val�rie!
399
00:27:45,623 --> 00:27:50,623
We tried but it didn't work.
Make your own way.
400
00:27:50,789 --> 00:27:52,122
You're sick, Alain.
401
00:27:52,123 --> 00:27:53,788
You're really sick!
402
00:27:53,789 --> 00:27:54,830
You need help!
403
00:27:54,831 --> 00:27:58,163
Hey, watch it! Don't start that again!
404
00:27:58,164 --> 00:28:03,164
Stop it! Stop hitting me!
405
00:28:06,039 --> 00:28:08,955
- The handbrake!
- What handbrake?
406
00:28:08,956 --> 00:28:13,956
Watch out, Alain!
407
00:28:37,248 --> 00:28:42,248
Alain!
408
00:28:42,623 --> 00:28:45,413
Alain!
409
00:28:45,414 --> 00:28:46,747
Alain, wait.
410
00:28:46,748 --> 00:28:49,830
- Leave me alone.
- Stop sulking.
411
00:28:49,831 --> 00:28:52,788
Yes, I'm blowing it out of proportion!
412
00:28:52,789 --> 00:28:55,330
Because you forgot the handbrake
413
00:28:55,331 --> 00:28:58,288
I've lost my license, so I'm unemployed.
414
00:28:58,289 --> 00:29:01,747
A driving instructor sort of needs
a driving license.
415
00:29:01,748 --> 00:29:04,663
OK, I'm sorry. Happy now?
416
00:29:04,664 --> 00:29:07,622
There's no need to apologise.
417
00:29:07,623 --> 00:29:11,330
I'm delighted that I now owe
the rental company 25 grand.
418
00:29:11,331 --> 00:29:14,538
It might bother me
that my clothes were destroyed.
419
00:29:14,539 --> 00:29:16,122
My laptop too!
420
00:29:16,123 --> 00:29:19,163
But no, I'm just being fussy.
421
00:29:19,164 --> 00:29:21,080
If you need money...
422
00:29:21,081 --> 00:29:25,163
All I want is to get to my daughter's
wedding on time.
423
00:29:25,164 --> 00:29:29,122
No, actually, there's one thing
you could do for me...
424
00:29:29,123 --> 00:29:34,123
Die!
425
00:30:03,873 --> 00:30:07,122
Here.
426
00:30:07,123 --> 00:30:08,580
No, I'm good.
427
00:30:08,581 --> 00:30:13,581
Take it.
428
00:30:21,498 --> 00:30:23,372
There's a bus in one hour.
429
00:30:23,373 --> 00:30:28,163
We'll catch that and not speak
until we're there.
430
00:30:28,164 --> 00:30:33,164
It's a deal.
431
00:30:35,623 --> 00:30:40,623
At least you still have your mobile.
432
00:30:43,914 --> 00:30:47,913
- What?
- Come on!
433
00:30:47,914 --> 00:30:52,914
- What?
- "What?"
434
00:30:54,539 --> 00:30:56,788
Hurry, it's leaving!
435
00:30:56,789 --> 00:30:59,372
There was a queue. Here's your ticket.
436
00:30:59,373 --> 00:31:02,663
Haven't you loaded your bags?
I'll give you a hand.
437
00:31:02,664 --> 00:31:07,664
Put the big one below.
438
00:31:09,414 --> 00:31:11,913
Sorry, this bus is to Athens.
439
00:31:11,914 --> 00:31:13,247
Yes, yes I know, yes.
440
00:31:13,248 --> 00:31:18,248
Your ticket is for Amsterdam.
441
00:31:18,956 --> 00:31:20,705
For Amsterdam.
442
00:31:20,706 --> 00:31:23,538
Wrong bus, then!
443
00:31:23,539 --> 00:31:25,497
Funny! Give me the right ticket.
444
00:31:25,498 --> 00:31:30,498
That's it.
445
00:31:30,623 --> 00:31:32,955
Sorry miss, I have to go...
446
00:31:32,956 --> 00:31:34,913
Please, please, wait for me two minutes,
447
00:31:34,914 --> 00:31:37,122
please I have to... to exchange my ticket.
Just two minutes.
448
00:31:37,123 --> 00:31:39,288
You'll pay for this!
449
00:31:39,289 --> 00:31:39,830
I come back
450
00:31:39,831 --> 00:31:40,622
Two minutes
451
00:31:40,623 --> 00:31:45,623
Thank you.
452
00:31:45,789 --> 00:31:47,163
Please, go go go go now.
453
00:31:47,164 --> 00:31:48,705
Go She's crazy, I don't know her!
454
00:31:48,706 --> 00:31:53,706
Go, go!
455
00:32:01,789 --> 00:32:04,497
- I'll kill you!
- The next one's in 5 days.
456
00:32:04,498 --> 00:32:05,538
Bastard!
457
00:32:05,539 --> 00:32:09,330
No, I'm not. I'm giving you your things back.
458
00:32:09,331 --> 00:32:13,413
Your lipstick, to look nice in Amsterdam.
459
00:32:13,414 --> 00:32:15,830
Your mobile.
460
00:32:15,831 --> 00:32:18,247
My cards and passport!
461
00:32:18,248 --> 00:32:22,705
Bastard!
462
00:32:22,706 --> 00:32:26,663
I'll kiss C�cile for you.
463
00:32:26,664 --> 00:32:31,664
Bastard!
464
00:32:32,831 --> 00:32:37,831
Bastard!
465
00:33:06,373 --> 00:33:09,955
This bit...
466
00:33:09,956 --> 00:33:12,497
goes here...
467
00:33:12,498 --> 00:33:17,498
and this bit, here...
468
00:33:18,373 --> 00:33:23,373
Come on...
469
00:33:36,039 --> 00:33:39,872
Yes, C�cile...
470
00:33:39,873 --> 00:33:42,330
No!
471
00:33:42,331 --> 00:33:47,331
No, don't cut out. Don't cut out on me.
472
00:33:48,414 --> 00:33:53,414
Don't cut out on me!
473
00:34:00,498 --> 00:34:04,205
Where are you going?
474
00:34:04,206 --> 00:34:05,205
Greece.
475
00:34:05,206 --> 00:34:06,413
Are you Fran�aise?
476
00:34:06,414 --> 00:34:07,038
Yes!
477
00:34:07,039 --> 00:34:12,039
Well, hop in.
478
00:34:13,748 --> 00:34:15,497
- Val�rie.
- Ezekiel.
479
00:34:15,498 --> 00:34:16,872
Thank you so much.
480
00:34:16,873 --> 00:34:19,413
Thank you, who?
481
00:34:19,414 --> 00:34:21,122
Thank you...Ezekiel?
482
00:34:21,123 --> 00:34:25,788
Thank you, Jesus, Christ the Lord!
483
00:34:25,789 --> 00:34:30,413
Welcome, my daughter. Here you are at peace.
484
00:34:30,414 --> 00:34:35,414
JESUS SAVES
485
00:35:17,248 --> 00:35:20,413
The bastard dumped me
in the Austrian countryside.
486
00:35:20,414 --> 00:35:23,247
My child,
no bad language in the house of God.
487
00:35:23,248 --> 00:35:24,580
We know only love.
488
00:35:24,581 --> 00:35:28,455
This volcano will show C�cile
what her father's really like.
489
00:35:28,456 --> 00:35:30,997
Yes.
490
00:35:30,998 --> 00:35:35,288
"Lord God Almighty,
true and righteous are thy judgements.
491
00:35:35,289 --> 00:35:37,038
"The fourth angel poured out his vial
492
00:35:37,039 --> 00:35:39,622
"and power was given to him to scorch men.
493
00:35:39,623 --> 00:35:41,872
"Men were scorched with great heat,
494
00:35:41,873 --> 00:35:45,122
"and blasphemed the name of God.
495
00:35:45,123 --> 00:35:48,747
"And they repented not to give him glory."
496
00:35:48,748 --> 00:35:51,163
Saint John's Apocalypse.
497
00:35:51,164 --> 00:35:54,955
This volcano heralds the end of the world.
498
00:35:54,956 --> 00:35:57,497
I hadn't looked at it that way.
499
00:35:57,498 --> 00:36:00,955
Watching the TV coverage
of those satanic flames,
500
00:36:00,956 --> 00:36:03,622
I understood it was a sign.
501
00:36:03,623 --> 00:36:06,455
- So I got my Ark on the road.
- Ark?
502
00:36:06,456 --> 00:36:10,622
It took me 5 years to make it.
503
00:36:10,623 --> 00:36:13,622
- You're a mechanic.
- Not originally.
504
00:36:13,623 --> 00:36:17,830
I got my qualifications in prison.
505
00:36:17,831 --> 00:36:19,830
Were you inside for long?
506
00:36:19,831 --> 00:36:23,580
- Two years?
- Twenty.
507
00:36:23,581 --> 00:36:27,538
Then, one night, he came to me.
With his 12 apostles.
508
00:36:27,539 --> 00:36:30,247
It was a bit crowded in my cell,
509
00:36:30,248 --> 00:36:32,372
but he cleansed my soul
510
00:36:32,373 --> 00:36:33,872
of those awful images
511
00:36:33,873 --> 00:36:37,038
of bloodied women begging me
to finish them off.
512
00:36:37,039 --> 00:36:38,997
And he gave me a mission:
513
00:36:38,998 --> 00:36:40,497
to build an Ark
514
00:36:40,498 --> 00:36:45,498
and drive the stray sheep to Jerusalem.
515
00:36:45,581 --> 00:36:48,122
Maybe I'll get out here.
516
00:36:48,123 --> 00:36:50,372
Central locking.
517
00:36:50,373 --> 00:36:52,080
Evil cannot enter.
518
00:36:52,081 --> 00:36:54,913
And if it does...
519
00:36:54,914 --> 00:36:59,913
I'm ready!
520
00:36:59,914 --> 00:37:03,830
Hey my friend...
521
00:37:03,831 --> 00:37:08,831
my friend, come on, come on,
522
00:37:11,456 --> 00:37:12,622
H� drink, drink drink drink drink...
523
00:37:12,623 --> 00:37:17,623
No, no, no, no, no
524
00:37:19,623 --> 00:37:24,623
Oh sorry... It's an accident. Sorry, sorry...
525
00:37:25,456 --> 00:37:29,122
I'm sorry,
526
00:37:29,123 --> 00:37:31,830
I'm sorry...
527
00:37:31,831 --> 00:37:33,955
Back, moove, back!
528
00:37:33,956 --> 00:37:35,205
Open the door.
529
00:37:35,206 --> 00:37:36,247
Are you crazy?
530
00:37:36,248 --> 00:37:41,248
Open or I'll fucking shoot!
531
00:38:27,373 --> 00:38:30,122
C�cile
532
00:38:30,123 --> 00:38:35,123
My daughter...
533
00:38:42,789 --> 00:38:46,330
Where are you going?
534
00:38:46,331 --> 00:38:49,622
I don't know how to thank you, Ezekiel.
535
00:38:49,623 --> 00:38:50,497
Alain,
536
00:38:50,498 --> 00:38:55,498
"I am the good shepherd.
I lay down my life for my sheep."
537
00:38:55,706 --> 00:38:57,997
What's all this?
538
00:38:57,998 --> 00:38:59,080
Go ahead.
539
00:38:59,081 --> 00:39:01,247
Here?
540
00:39:01,248 --> 00:39:02,788
Holy water.
541
00:39:02,789 --> 00:39:04,955
The other.
542
00:39:04,956 --> 00:39:05,997
The host.
543
00:39:05,998 --> 00:39:08,247
Well, Pringles.
544
00:39:08,248 --> 00:39:10,247
And finally,
545
00:39:10,248 --> 00:39:11,205
the confessional.
546
00:39:11,206 --> 00:39:13,413
Amazing!
547
00:39:13,414 --> 00:39:17,580
If you have a weakness for sodomy,
you can confess now.
548
00:39:17,581 --> 00:39:19,038
No, not at all.
549
00:39:19,039 --> 00:39:21,163
- Not even a little?
- No.
550
00:39:21,164 --> 00:39:22,413
Not ever?
551
00:39:22,414 --> 00:39:24,163
No.
552
00:39:24,164 --> 00:39:27,955
I'm joking, Alain!
553
00:39:27,956 --> 00:39:29,413
It's my mobile abbey.
554
00:39:29,414 --> 00:39:31,997
An abbey with ABS!
555
00:39:31,998 --> 00:39:35,788
Not bad.
556
00:39:35,789 --> 00:39:36,705
What's that?
557
00:39:36,706 --> 00:39:38,663
It's for my daughter's wedding.
558
00:39:38,664 --> 00:39:41,205
Her mother's wedding dress.
559
00:39:41,206 --> 00:39:42,788
And where's her mother?
560
00:39:42,789 --> 00:39:46,080
I got rid of her.
561
00:39:46,081 --> 00:39:47,913
Meaning?
562
00:39:47,914 --> 00:39:49,538
Chopped her up?
563
00:39:49,539 --> 00:39:51,372
In little pieces?
564
00:39:51,373 --> 00:39:53,830
And the head? Did you sink it?
565
00:39:53,831 --> 00:39:56,663
Yes, you sank it!
566
00:39:56,664 --> 00:40:01,664
No, I was being figurative.
567
00:40:14,664 --> 00:40:17,205
Mr Ezekiel.
568
00:40:17,206 --> 00:40:19,872
Do you mind if I lie down a bit?
569
00:40:19,873 --> 00:40:23,038
No, of course not. Go in the nave.
570
00:40:23,039 --> 00:40:28,039
Thanks.
571
00:40:55,289 --> 00:40:58,372
Alone I was and lost
572
00:40:58,373 --> 00:41:01,663
No direction had I, nor worth
573
00:41:01,664 --> 00:41:06,664
'Twas a life in tatters, but then he came
574
00:41:07,539 --> 00:41:08,747
Jesus!
575
00:41:08,748 --> 00:41:09,330
You!
576
00:41:09,331 --> 00:41:14,331
Jesus, Jesus...
577
00:41:24,039 --> 00:41:29,039
Alone I was and dying...
578
00:41:31,873 --> 00:41:36,873
Let me go!
579
00:41:55,164 --> 00:42:00,164
I'll kill you!
580
00:42:03,831 --> 00:42:04,705
Who?
581
00:42:04,706 --> 00:42:09,706
Joseph!
582
00:42:20,456 --> 00:42:25,456
Don't move.
583
00:42:26,206 --> 00:42:27,080
What are you doing?
584
00:42:27,081 --> 00:42:32,081
You'll shut up when I've cut your head off.
585
00:42:33,998 --> 00:42:38,998
Jesus?
586
00:42:44,498 --> 00:42:45,788
I knew it!
587
00:42:45,789 --> 00:42:49,163
Satan, Beelzebub, here!
588
00:42:49,164 --> 00:42:50,080
Calm down.
589
00:42:50,081 --> 00:42:51,497
Don't you move!
590
00:42:51,498 --> 00:42:54,830
Everything's OK. Just a little lovers' tiff.
591
00:42:54,831 --> 00:42:57,788
Lovers? You two love each other?
592
00:42:57,789 --> 00:42:59,747
- Tell her you love her.
- No.
593
00:42:59,748 --> 00:43:03,205
Tell her!
594
00:43:03,206 --> 00:43:04,788
Val�rie, I love you.
595
00:43:04,789 --> 00:43:05,913
That's nice.
596
00:43:05,914 --> 00:43:07,372
Better than that!
597
00:43:07,373 --> 00:43:12,247
Lovingly!
598
00:43:12,248 --> 00:43:13,413
Val�rie...
599
00:43:13,414 --> 00:43:15,038
Val�rie, I love you.
600
00:43:15,039 --> 00:43:17,913
I've always loved you.
601
00:43:17,914 --> 00:43:20,288
I've never loved anyone but you.
602
00:43:20,289 --> 00:43:21,205
I love you.
603
00:43:21,206 --> 00:43:24,413
Beautiful.
604
00:43:24,414 --> 00:43:29,414
Now, Mummy, tell Daddy you love him.
605
00:43:30,373 --> 00:43:33,622
You abandoned us and hurt us.
606
00:43:33,623 --> 00:43:36,455
Do it now!
607
00:43:36,456 --> 00:43:39,580
Don't talk to your mother like that.
608
00:43:39,581 --> 00:43:42,747
Do you hear me? Put that toy down right now.
609
00:43:42,748 --> 00:43:44,413
Do it!
610
00:43:44,414 --> 00:43:47,622
And tidy your room. It's a pigsty.
611
00:43:47,623 --> 00:43:48,497
Yes, Mummy.
612
00:43:48,498 --> 00:43:51,497
Hurry, for God's sake.
613
00:43:51,498 --> 00:43:52,663
Blasphemy!
614
00:43:52,664 --> 00:43:57,664
God, no!
615
00:44:04,831 --> 00:44:09,831
Come on!
616
00:44:12,456 --> 00:44:13,663
Come on!
617
00:44:13,664 --> 00:44:18,664
- Come on!
- Wait!
618
00:44:24,414 --> 00:44:29,414
Wait!
619
00:44:48,581 --> 00:44:49,747
I'll fix you up.
620
00:44:49,748 --> 00:44:54,748
I've found a hotel.
621
00:44:57,123 --> 00:45:02,123
Stand up straight.
622
00:45:04,456 --> 00:45:08,080
Hello!
623
00:45:08,081 --> 00:45:13,081
Hello...
624
00:45:13,706 --> 00:45:14,913
Is he OK?
625
00:45:14,914 --> 00:45:18,830
Oh Yes, yes. He he drunk a lot at the wedding.
626
00:45:18,831 --> 00:45:20,038
Just married?
627
00:45:20,039 --> 00:45:24,247
Yes, yes, Look I just have my...my dress on me.
628
00:45:24,248 --> 00:45:28,580
Please, is it possible to have a room.
Honeymoon.
629
00:45:28,581 --> 00:45:29,705
Really?
630
00:45:29,706 --> 00:45:30,913
Yes.
631
00:45:30,914 --> 00:45:35,372
I will need a credit card.
632
00:45:35,373 --> 00:45:37,413
Credit card.
633
00:45:37,414 --> 00:45:38,288
My credit cards.
634
00:45:38,289 --> 00:45:43,289
I don't have them.
I left everything on the bus.
635
00:45:43,456 --> 00:45:47,205
I'm sorry... we... we don't have credit card.
636
00:45:47,206 --> 00:45:48,497
No card, no room.
637
00:45:48,498 --> 00:45:51,830
Oh Please, Oh please,
I will call my bank tomorrow.
638
00:45:51,831 --> 00:45:56,831
Wait...
639
00:45:59,081 --> 00:46:00,247
And the watch.
640
00:46:00,248 --> 00:46:02,288
What? You're not serious.
641
00:46:02,289 --> 00:46:05,247
I could buy a dozen shitty hotels with this!
642
00:46:05,248 --> 00:46:07,997
- What is it?
- He wants my watch.
643
00:46:07,998 --> 00:46:09,038
Give it to him.
644
00:46:09,039 --> 00:46:14,039
No watch, no room.
645
00:46:15,456 --> 00:46:17,205
Take this. This is pure gold.
646
00:46:17,206 --> 00:46:19,830
No, no, my chain...
647
00:46:19,831 --> 00:46:24,831
The key of the room.
648
00:46:25,456 --> 00:46:30,456
Five-Zero-Six.
649
00:46:32,956 --> 00:46:36,372
Fifth floor.
650
00:46:36,373 --> 00:46:41,373
One last effort, we're almost there.
651
00:46:43,081 --> 00:46:48,081
The elevator is broken!
652
00:46:52,623 --> 00:46:53,955
I'm done for.
653
00:46:53,956 --> 00:46:58,956
Oh, what a wuss! It's only a little dart.
654
00:46:59,289 --> 00:47:01,413
I should have let him shoot you.
655
00:47:01,414 --> 00:47:05,663
You want my thanks?
Thank you, Alain, you're a hero!
656
00:47:05,664 --> 00:47:08,413
You're being mean.
657
00:47:08,414 --> 00:47:09,955
These stairs never end.
658
00:47:09,956 --> 00:47:12,538
We're in the corridor.
659
00:47:12,539 --> 00:47:14,038
Shit!
660
00:47:14,039 --> 00:47:15,788
We're nearly there.
661
00:47:15,789 --> 00:47:20,372
Wait...
662
00:47:20,373 --> 00:47:24,580
I'm slipping away.
663
00:47:24,581 --> 00:47:26,288
It's the end.
664
00:47:26,289 --> 00:47:28,205
The pain's too much.
665
00:47:28,206 --> 00:47:32,705
You're a vet, put me down.
666
00:47:32,706 --> 00:47:35,163
Just leave me.
667
00:47:35,164 --> 00:47:37,163
OK, then. Bye.
668
00:47:37,164 --> 00:47:38,788
No.
669
00:47:38,789 --> 00:47:43,789
Val...What are you doing?
670
00:47:45,956 --> 00:47:49,622
Mummy's diary, episode...
671
00:47:49,623 --> 00:47:52,038
Who gives a toss!
672
00:47:52,039 --> 00:47:55,580
We're getting closer. Slowly.
673
00:47:55,581 --> 00:47:58,372
Right now we're...
674
00:47:58,373 --> 00:48:00,913
somewhere in Slovenia.
675
00:48:00,914 --> 00:48:05,914
I hope we make it. One step at a time.
676
00:48:10,331 --> 00:48:15,331
This is becoming a habit.
677
00:48:29,539 --> 00:48:32,080
Wait, wait!
678
00:48:32,081 --> 00:48:34,705
Are you sure about this?
679
00:48:34,706 --> 00:48:35,913
No, I'm not.
680
00:48:35,914 --> 00:48:37,663
You're a pain.
681
00:48:37,664 --> 00:48:40,663
It's not very deep.
682
00:48:40,664 --> 00:48:42,247
This'll hurt, right?
683
00:48:42,248 --> 00:48:45,580
"This'll hurt..." What a cry-baby!
684
00:48:45,581 --> 00:48:49,163
Move.
685
00:48:49,164 --> 00:48:54,164
- Cry-baby?
- What are you doing?
686
00:49:30,664 --> 00:49:32,205
Sorry.
687
00:49:32,206 --> 00:49:37,206
Sorry, I...l don't know what...
688
00:50:44,164 --> 00:50:49,164
Call quick Flights have started again
689
00:50:49,998 --> 00:50:53,247
Martine, it's me. Yes, fine.
690
00:50:53,248 --> 00:50:56,997
In my desk, in the second drawer,
691
00:50:56,998 --> 00:50:59,497
there's the clinic's credit card.
692
00:50:59,498 --> 00:51:01,372
Yes.
693
00:51:01,373 --> 00:51:04,413
Book a flight from Ljubljana to Athens.
694
00:51:04,414 --> 00:51:05,913
Immediately.
695
00:51:05,914 --> 00:51:08,497
Yes, one person.
696
00:51:08,498 --> 00:51:10,872
Yes, Martine. Thank you.
697
00:51:10,873 --> 00:51:15,873
Goodbye.
698
00:51:31,081 --> 00:51:34,038
Where... where...where is the young man
with the long hair?
699
00:51:34,039 --> 00:51:36,497
Ye.. ye...yes but he is not here now.
He is sleeping.
700
00:51:36,498 --> 00:51:39,288
Bugger "sleeping"! He's got my chain.
701
00:51:39,289 --> 00:51:40,538
My chain.
702
00:51:40,539 --> 00:51:42,080
But I don't know.
703
00:51:42,081 --> 00:51:47,081
Wait... wait a second...
704
00:51:49,831 --> 00:51:50,955
It's working?
705
00:51:50,956 --> 00:51:55,956
Oh thank you.
706
00:51:57,914 --> 00:52:00,080
The planes are flying again.
707
00:52:00,081 --> 00:52:03,038
Oh, you've seen.
708
00:52:03,039 --> 00:52:04,872
Val�rie?
709
00:52:04,873 --> 00:52:05,705
Shit!
710
00:52:05,706 --> 00:52:08,372
I'm gonna kill her, I'm gonna kill her...
711
00:52:08,373 --> 00:52:10,705
What are you doing?
712
00:52:10,706 --> 00:52:14,538
I thought you'd gone. They're flying again.
713
00:52:14,539 --> 00:52:16,622
My mobile. Why did you...?
714
00:52:16,623 --> 00:52:17,788
- What?
- Come on.
715
00:52:17,789 --> 00:52:20,163
Where?
716
00:52:20,164 --> 00:52:21,580
You called France?
717
00:52:21,581 --> 00:52:23,872
Quiet!
718
00:52:23,873 --> 00:52:26,497
That costs extra!
719
00:52:26,498 --> 00:52:28,080
What are you doing?
720
00:52:28,081 --> 00:52:30,788
- Now!
- Now what?
721
00:52:30,789 --> 00:52:31,455
Hurry!
722
00:52:31,456 --> 00:52:33,580
Hurry what?
723
00:52:33,581 --> 00:52:38,581
What are you doing? Val�rie?
724
00:52:47,206 --> 00:52:50,622
Do you realise what we're doing? Do you?
725
00:52:50,623 --> 00:52:52,788
I'm the one who stole it.
726
00:52:52,789 --> 00:52:55,580
If we're arrested,
just say I took you hostage.
727
00:52:55,581 --> 00:52:58,955
You can say I shot you too.
No risk to you, as usual.
728
00:52:58,956 --> 00:53:00,372
Where are we going?
729
00:53:00,373 --> 00:53:01,955
The airport.
730
00:53:01,956 --> 00:53:05,247
Your plane for Athens is in 45 minutes.
731
00:53:05,248 --> 00:53:06,747
What about you? Aren't you coming?
732
00:53:06,748 --> 00:53:11,748
Of course I am. Give me my passport,
the one you left on the bus!
733
00:53:28,956 --> 00:53:30,122
I'll let you know.
734
00:53:30,123 --> 00:53:32,663
Don't bother. Here.
735
00:53:32,664 --> 00:53:34,997
Give it to C�cile for me.
736
00:53:34,998 --> 00:53:39,998
- What about you?
- I'll manage.
737
00:53:45,081 --> 00:53:46,205
About last night...
738
00:53:46,206 --> 00:53:51,206
Hurry or you'll miss your plane.
739
00:54:09,331 --> 00:54:12,038
Sorry! I... I'm French. Fran�aise.
740
00:54:12,039 --> 00:54:14,830
You work here?
741
00:54:14,831 --> 00:54:19,831
Ah oui... No, no, no no I'm travelling.
742
00:54:21,331 --> 00:54:22,497
Who was that car?
743
00:54:22,498 --> 00:54:25,163
Ah the car... yes.
744
00:54:25,164 --> 00:54:30,164
Miss, is this your car?
745
00:54:39,623 --> 00:54:42,538
Miss, you have the papers or not?
746
00:54:42,539 --> 00:54:46,913
Yes, yes relax.
747
00:54:46,914 --> 00:54:49,247
Listen to me my friend.
748
00:54:49,248 --> 00:54:51,372
It's funny but it's...it's not my car,
749
00:54:51,373 --> 00:54:53,497
but we can discuss?
750
00:54:53,498 --> 00:54:57,163
Look at this watch,
this is a very very expensive watch
751
00:54:57,164 --> 00:55:02,164
if...if you want you can take it and I go?
752
00:55:09,164 --> 00:55:13,122
Next please... Sir...
753
00:55:13,123 --> 00:55:14,747
I'm French!
754
00:55:14,748 --> 00:55:16,705
Do you understand?
755
00:55:16,706 --> 00:55:21,706
Shut your mouth! Come on get inside
756
00:55:23,331 --> 00:55:26,955
- What...?
- I'm saving your life!
757
00:55:26,956 --> 00:55:28,455
By stealing a police car?
758
00:55:28,456 --> 00:55:33,456
Well, you said I never take any risks!
759
00:55:34,373 --> 00:55:38,872
Shit!
760
00:55:38,873 --> 00:55:40,413
What do we do?
761
00:55:40,414 --> 00:55:42,247
Don't you have a plan?
762
00:55:42,248 --> 00:55:44,788
- This was my plan.
- What a moron!
763
00:55:44,789 --> 00:55:49,789
Could you just once say thanks?
764
00:55:50,081 --> 00:55:52,163
Thanks for stealing a police car
765
00:55:52,164 --> 00:55:57,164
to go 50 metres in!
766
00:56:18,914 --> 00:56:22,955
Now where?
767
00:56:22,956 --> 00:56:27,956
There!
768
00:56:34,039 --> 00:56:36,038
- Come on!
- In your dreams!
769
00:56:36,039 --> 00:56:37,538
I can do this.
770
00:56:37,539 --> 00:56:39,580
No way!
771
00:56:39,581 --> 00:56:43,788
It's an MS Rallye 893A.
I've done 120 hours in this.
772
00:56:43,789 --> 00:56:46,705
OK, you can take risks, I believe you!
773
00:56:46,706 --> 00:56:48,913
I've flown over the Grand Canyon,
774
00:56:48,914 --> 00:56:51,330
over the snow-covered tundra...
775
00:56:51,331 --> 00:56:52,455
Alain!
776
00:56:52,456 --> 00:56:54,955
I've landed on the Great Wall of China!
777
00:56:54,956 --> 00:56:58,163
On your computer in your hovel
in your crappy suburb!
778
00:56:58,164 --> 00:57:03,164
Master switch, alternator...
779
00:57:06,373 --> 00:57:11,373
Go on!
780
00:57:22,581 --> 00:57:27,581
They're shooting!
781
00:57:27,998 --> 00:57:32,998
Where's the runway?
782
00:57:36,623 --> 00:57:38,830
Shit!
783
00:57:38,831 --> 00:57:40,705
- It's OK.
- Take off!
784
00:57:40,706 --> 00:57:45,706
- Another 300 metres.
- We'll never make it!
785
00:57:51,039 --> 00:57:56,039
Faster, faster!
786
00:58:00,914 --> 00:58:02,997
It's not like on my computer!
787
00:58:02,998 --> 00:58:07,998
Take off now and get us away
from this shit-hole!
788
00:58:11,123 --> 00:58:16,123
Oh, shit!
789
00:58:39,873 --> 00:58:42,997
- Which way is Greece?
- How would I know?
790
00:58:42,998 --> 00:58:45,663
Right or left?
791
00:58:45,664 --> 00:58:46,788
Left.
792
00:58:46,789 --> 00:58:51,789
Right, then.
793
00:59:14,081 --> 00:59:16,663
Pilot, do you know where we are?
794
00:59:16,664 --> 00:59:19,413
"Captain", not "pilot".
795
00:59:19,414 --> 00:59:23,663
Geographically speaking, we're above Croatia,
796
00:59:23,664 --> 00:59:26,413
at an altitude of 12,000 feet.
797
00:59:26,414 --> 00:59:31,080
At this cruising speed we should reach
the Greek coast in 3 hours.
798
00:59:31,081 --> 00:59:36,081
We'll fly over Serbia, then Montenegro,
then Albania...
799
00:59:36,123 --> 00:59:41,123
You're so boring.
800
00:59:41,748 --> 00:59:43,288
What are you doing?
801
00:59:43,289 --> 00:59:48,080
Three hours to go. I'm getting some sleep.
802
00:59:48,081 --> 00:59:49,788
What?
803
00:59:49,789 --> 00:59:54,789
Sleep. It means you trust me.
804
01:00:35,123 --> 01:00:40,123
Oh, no!
805
01:00:40,664 --> 01:00:45,664
I don't believe it!
806
01:00:51,164 --> 01:00:56,164
You damn thing!
807
01:00:56,331 --> 01:00:58,663
Are we there?
808
01:00:58,664 --> 01:01:01,372
No.
809
01:01:01,373 --> 01:01:03,080
Is there a problem?
810
01:01:03,081 --> 01:01:06,455
Can't you hear? We're out of fuel.
811
01:01:06,456 --> 01:01:10,330
And you've just realised?
812
01:01:10,331 --> 01:01:11,413
What do we do now?
813
01:01:11,414 --> 01:01:15,747
On my computer I crash and take off again.
814
01:01:15,748 --> 01:01:17,413
Land this plane now!
815
01:01:17,414 --> 01:01:22,414
Where? Look!
816
01:01:22,873 --> 01:01:26,622
Come on!
817
01:01:26,623 --> 01:01:28,663
What are you doing?
818
01:01:28,664 --> 01:01:31,205
I want to talk to C�cile one last time.
819
01:01:31,206 --> 01:01:35,705
I'll get us down.
820
01:01:35,706 --> 01:01:37,372
Sweetheart...
821
01:01:37,373 --> 01:01:39,080
Mum, are you OK?
822
01:01:39,081 --> 01:01:42,955
Yes, I'm with your father.
823
01:01:42,956 --> 01:01:45,205
- Hi, baby.
- Have you arrived?
824
01:01:45,206 --> 01:01:47,497
Not exactly.
825
01:01:47,498 --> 01:01:49,705
We just wanted to say we love you.
826
01:01:49,706 --> 01:01:52,163
Yes, we love you very much.
827
01:01:52,164 --> 01:01:54,705
And we're happy you're getting married.
828
01:01:54,706 --> 01:01:57,455
But we won't be able to make it.
829
01:01:57,456 --> 01:01:59,663
OK, no worries.
830
01:01:59,664 --> 01:02:03,747
I thought just this once
we'd be together. But no!
831
01:02:03,748 --> 01:02:08,748
You can keep your "love". Bye!
832
01:03:08,498 --> 01:03:11,372
See!
833
01:03:11,373 --> 01:03:13,913
- What?
- I told you I could do it.
834
01:03:13,914 --> 01:03:16,413
Oh, yeah, right!
835
01:03:16,414 --> 01:03:21,414
Yeah!
836
01:03:21,581 --> 01:03:25,497
What C�cile said just didn't sound like her.
837
01:03:25,498 --> 01:03:26,497
It was her, though.
838
01:03:26,498 --> 01:03:29,455
What do you know? You know nothing about her.
839
01:03:29,456 --> 01:03:31,622
Don't start.
840
01:03:31,623 --> 01:03:33,538
What does she have for brekky?
841
01:03:33,539 --> 01:03:35,955
- What?
- Hot chocolate, three spoons.
842
01:03:35,956 --> 01:03:38,747
Two, no taste. Four, too sweet.
843
01:03:38,748 --> 01:03:40,788
Her French teacher at school?
844
01:03:40,789 --> 01:03:42,247
Oh, stop it!
845
01:03:42,248 --> 01:03:45,705
Mrs Potter. She couldn't stand her.
846
01:03:45,706 --> 01:03:47,705
Her Facebook password?
847
01:03:47,706 --> 01:03:49,663
You know that?
848
01:03:49,664 --> 01:03:52,538
You know her Facebook password?
849
01:03:52,539 --> 01:03:55,080
C�soul89. But she's changed it since.
850
01:03:55,081 --> 01:03:57,038
Her favourite character in Friends?
851
01:03:57,039 --> 01:03:57,788
Chandler
852
01:03:57,789 --> 01:04:00,497
No, Phoebe!
853
01:04:00,498 --> 01:04:02,705
The first boy to make her cry?
854
01:04:02,706 --> 01:04:04,372
Hang on, hang on...
855
01:04:04,373 --> 01:04:06,247
The first boy to make her cry?
856
01:04:06,248 --> 01:04:08,330
Wait!
857
01:04:08,331 --> 01:04:10,622
Gr�goire Billot.
858
01:04:10,623 --> 01:04:11,955
- You didn't know.
- I did.
859
01:04:11,956 --> 01:04:13,497
No, you didn't.
860
01:04:13,498 --> 01:04:15,038
I did!
861
01:04:15,039 --> 01:04:18,247
You didn't!
862
01:04:18,248 --> 01:04:21,288
OK, I get it. I was a bad mother.
863
01:04:21,289 --> 01:04:23,455
No, just absent. Which is worse.
864
01:04:23,456 --> 01:04:27,747
And I regret it every day.
But I don't lie to myself.
865
01:04:27,748 --> 01:04:31,747
Sometimes a daughter doesn't need her dad,
866
01:04:31,748 --> 01:04:35,955
she doesn't want to discuss
Gr�goire Thingy dumping her,
867
01:04:35,956 --> 01:04:38,538
she wants to cry alone in her room,
868
01:04:38,539 --> 01:04:42,830
she doesn't want your advice,
your support, your lectures...
869
01:04:42,831 --> 01:04:45,622
You suffocated her. You suffocate everyone.
870
01:04:45,623 --> 01:04:50,623
That's why we leave you.
871
01:04:51,706 --> 01:04:52,788
OK?
872
01:04:52,789 --> 01:04:57,789
You get it now?
873
01:05:34,289 --> 01:05:39,289
Beautiful, though, isn't it?
874
01:05:40,789 --> 01:05:45,789
We're in the middle of nowhere,
we'll never make it.
875
01:05:46,581 --> 01:05:51,581
Five minutes rest.
876
01:05:54,914 --> 01:05:57,330
C�cile
877
01:05:57,331 --> 01:06:00,163
My daughter
878
01:06:00,164 --> 01:06:02,747
Here you are
879
01:06:02,748 --> 01:06:06,247
And here am I, I am thirty
880
01:06:06,248 --> 01:06:07,913
And you...
881
01:06:07,914 --> 01:06:10,580
Shit! I am thirty, and you...
882
01:06:10,581 --> 01:06:15,581
"You're six months old"!
Shit, it's easy enough!
883
01:06:16,039 --> 01:06:17,955
I'm going.
884
01:06:17,956 --> 01:06:20,580
Wait! OK, I'm sorry.
885
01:06:20,581 --> 01:06:23,247
Just wait a couple of minutes.
886
01:06:23,248 --> 01:06:28,248
Two minutes, then we go.
887
01:06:48,289 --> 01:06:51,163
- Weird Romanian!
- We're in Albania.
888
01:06:51,164 --> 01:06:55,038
Same thing.
889
01:06:55,039 --> 01:06:58,538
She's cute, though.
890
01:06:58,539 --> 01:07:01,497
For five euros
she'll suck you off in the barn.
891
01:07:01,498 --> 01:07:04,122
We have no barn.
892
01:07:04,123 --> 01:07:07,830
She speaks French.
893
01:07:07,831 --> 01:07:09,122
You speak French?
894
01:07:09,123 --> 01:07:10,788
Yes, a little.
895
01:07:10,789 --> 01:07:15,705
She understood.
896
01:07:15,706 --> 01:07:17,080
You lost?
897
01:07:17,081 --> 01:07:22,081
We're going to Corfu.
898
01:07:28,831 --> 01:07:30,122
Tomorrow,
899
01:07:30,123 --> 01:07:32,413
my daddy get you close.
900
01:07:32,414 --> 01:07:34,663
Thanks, that's fantastic.
901
01:07:34,664 --> 01:07:36,788
Fantastic. Can't we go now?
902
01:07:36,789 --> 01:07:38,955
No, is not possible.
903
01:07:38,956 --> 01:07:43,956
Tonight is festival.
904
01:07:54,706 --> 01:07:56,747
What are you celebrating?
905
01:07:56,748 --> 01:07:58,163
Is spring festival.
906
01:07:58,164 --> 01:08:01,205
The animals, trees, flowers...
907
01:08:01,206 --> 01:08:02,788
Why the eagle?
908
01:08:02,789 --> 01:08:05,247
Eagle is symbol of Albania.
909
01:08:05,248 --> 01:08:07,913
- Like cock for you.
- An eagle's classier.
910
01:08:07,914 --> 01:08:10,997
Eagle is very important to us.
911
01:08:10,998 --> 01:08:12,538
He protect us.
912
01:08:12,539 --> 01:08:15,538
Sacred animal.
913
01:08:15,539 --> 01:08:17,788
So you French,
914
01:08:17,789 --> 01:08:20,247
Yes, yes
915
01:08:20,248 --> 01:08:25,248
Ah ah ah... la vie en rose.
916
01:08:26,581 --> 01:08:31,581
I... I Os...l Osman.
917
01:08:31,789 --> 01:08:34,705
What you name?
918
01:08:34,706 --> 01:08:36,872
My name is Screwyou.
919
01:08:36,873 --> 01:08:39,663
Sukroo...?
920
01:08:39,664 --> 01:08:41,538
Screw you.
921
01:08:41,539 --> 01:08:45,122
Tenmerde ? lt's a nice name... nice
922
01:08:45,123 --> 01:08:48,330
Oh very nice, yes.
923
01:08:48,331 --> 01:08:50,080
Am I interrupting?
924
01:08:50,081 --> 01:08:52,372
- Funny!
- I can leave you two alone.
925
01:08:52,373 --> 01:08:54,288
Stay!
926
01:08:54,289 --> 01:08:56,705
He's cute.
927
01:08:56,706 --> 01:08:58,372
To C�cile's wedding!
928
01:08:58,373 --> 01:09:00,413
And all our wasted years.
929
01:09:00,414 --> 01:09:05,414
That'll take a lot more drink!
930
01:09:14,331 --> 01:09:16,747
What is that?
931
01:09:16,748 --> 01:09:20,747
You don't want to know.
932
01:09:20,748 --> 01:09:22,372
How did we end up like this?
933
01:09:22,373 --> 01:09:24,122
There was the volcano,
934
01:09:24,123 --> 01:09:25,913
then you trashed the car...
935
01:09:25,914 --> 01:09:28,247
No, seriously.
936
01:09:28,248 --> 01:09:33,248
How did we end up hating each other
with such venom?
937
01:09:34,373 --> 01:09:39,373
I don't know.
938
01:09:42,039 --> 01:09:44,705
Other couples just ignore each other.
939
01:09:44,706 --> 01:09:49,706
Maybe we can't just ignore each other.
940
01:09:53,789 --> 01:09:58,789
This is our first holiday together.
941
01:09:58,873 --> 01:10:03,873
To our honeymoon, then!
942
01:10:06,956 --> 01:10:10,872
I'd forgotten how you squeak
like a strangled owl
943
01:10:10,873 --> 01:10:15,873
when making love.
944
01:10:16,831 --> 01:10:21,831
So had I.
945
01:10:38,289 --> 01:10:39,288
Tradition.
946
01:10:39,289 --> 01:10:40,830
No, I'd rather not.
947
01:10:40,831 --> 01:10:45,831
No, thanks.
948
01:11:11,956 --> 01:11:16,956
Oh, shit!
949
01:11:17,164 --> 01:11:19,997
Val�rie, do something.
950
01:11:19,998 --> 01:11:24,998
It's dead.
951
01:11:47,498 --> 01:11:52,498
Thanks. Sorry about the...
952
01:12:31,998 --> 01:12:36,247
And here we are, in Greece!
953
01:12:36,248 --> 01:12:38,830
Right on time for your wedding.
954
01:12:38,831 --> 01:12:43,831
Isn't that wonderful?
955
01:12:53,414 --> 01:12:58,414
Are we...Are we arrived?
956
01:13:05,664 --> 01:13:10,664
Why won't he talk to me?
957
01:13:13,706 --> 01:13:15,455
I wanted to tell you...
958
01:13:15,456 --> 01:13:20,456
Sometimes we say things we don't mean.
959
01:13:20,998 --> 01:13:25,247
I know you're a good father.
960
01:13:25,248 --> 01:13:26,497
It hurt at the time,
961
01:13:26,498 --> 01:13:31,498
but C�cile was right to choose
to live with you rather than me.
962
01:13:34,956 --> 01:13:38,580
Thanks.
963
01:13:38,581 --> 01:13:40,580
Is that all?
964
01:13:40,581 --> 01:13:42,288
What?
965
01:13:42,289 --> 01:13:44,080
I bare my soul
966
01:13:44,081 --> 01:13:48,247
and all you say is "thanks"?
967
01:13:48,248 --> 01:13:51,288
Thank you very much.
968
01:13:51,289 --> 01:13:54,122
What a moron!
969
01:13:54,123 --> 01:13:57,705
I take it all back.
I didn't mean a word of it.
970
01:13:57,706 --> 01:14:02,706
Too late now.
971
01:14:04,373 --> 01:14:09,373
Excuse me. I'm really, really sorry for...
for the eagle.
972
01:14:12,373 --> 01:14:17,373
Not funny.
973
01:14:32,664 --> 01:14:34,705
What are you doing with her?
974
01:14:34,706 --> 01:14:36,622
That's not the problem.
975
01:14:36,623 --> 01:14:38,663
You lied to me.
976
01:14:38,664 --> 01:14:41,080
Yes, I lied.
977
01:14:41,081 --> 01:14:43,038
You can give me a bollocking
978
01:14:43,039 --> 01:14:44,497
when I get there.
979
01:14:44,498 --> 01:14:49,498
But for now can you ask them to wait?
We're in Corfu.
980
01:14:49,706 --> 01:14:52,705
The cops think we're illegal immigrants.
981
01:14:52,706 --> 01:14:56,163
- But we'll soon sort it out.
- What?
982
01:14:56,164 --> 01:14:58,247
I'll do what I can.
983
01:14:58,248 --> 01:15:01,288
How much longer will she ruin our lives?
984
01:15:01,289 --> 01:15:02,955
I love you.
985
01:15:02,956 --> 01:15:07,956
I love you too.
986
01:15:13,623 --> 01:15:14,705
OK?
987
01:15:14,706 --> 01:15:19,706
Yeah, great.
988
01:15:23,581 --> 01:15:26,163
We have checked. You are French.
989
01:15:26,164 --> 01:15:27,788
Can you take these off?
990
01:15:27,789 --> 01:15:32,789
And get a car for us?
991
01:15:34,331 --> 01:15:37,955
This way.
992
01:15:37,956 --> 01:15:40,413
That's you, isn't it?
993
01:15:40,414 --> 01:15:42,538
It looks like us, but...
994
01:15:42,539 --> 01:15:46,455
No, it's not us.
995
01:15:46,456 --> 01:15:50,663
Car crash in Austria...
996
01:15:50,664 --> 01:15:53,705
Theft of a van and a plane...
997
01:15:53,706 --> 01:15:58,706
Evading arrest...
998
01:15:59,206 --> 01:16:04,080
And killing of a protected species
in Albania.
999
01:16:04,081 --> 01:16:05,997
All that in three days.
1000
01:16:05,998 --> 01:16:07,788
Congratulations!
1001
01:16:07,789 --> 01:16:12,789
All we want is to go
to our daughter's wedding.
1002
01:16:17,748 --> 01:16:22,748
That will be tricky.
1003
01:16:24,498 --> 01:16:26,872
Go on, cry!
1004
01:16:26,873 --> 01:16:31,873
Nice dog. Jack Russell crossed with terrier?
1005
01:16:32,248 --> 01:16:32,913
Thank you.
1006
01:16:32,914 --> 01:16:34,455
But he's been vomiting?
1007
01:16:34,456 --> 01:16:36,163
Sorry?
1008
01:16:36,164 --> 01:16:38,038
This isn't the moment.
1009
01:16:38,039 --> 01:16:41,205
Ask him.
1010
01:16:41,206 --> 01:16:46,206
He won't eat, drink, go walkies?
He's losing weight?
1011
01:16:46,664 --> 01:16:47,288
Yes.
1012
01:16:47,289 --> 01:16:50,497
Tell him I'm a vet.
His dog has Addison's disease.
1013
01:16:50,498 --> 01:16:53,955
Adrenal insufficiency.
1014
01:16:53,956 --> 01:16:57,205
He could die.
1015
01:16:57,206 --> 01:16:59,330
Can you save him?
1016
01:16:59,331 --> 01:17:04,331
It'll be tricky.
1017
01:18:26,539 --> 01:18:28,038
Thank you.
1018
01:18:28,039 --> 01:18:33,039
Go on.
1019
01:18:48,123 --> 01:18:51,413
- What's wrong?
- I'll explain later.
1020
01:18:51,414 --> 01:18:53,330
I'm glad you're still alive.
1021
01:18:53,331 --> 01:18:55,205
No, it was fine.
1022
01:18:55,206 --> 01:18:57,163
Really fine.
1023
01:18:57,164 --> 01:18:59,788
You can't stay in those clothes.
1024
01:18:59,789 --> 01:19:04,789
I'll get changed after.
1025
01:19:41,956 --> 01:19:43,830
A hard time getting here?
1026
01:19:43,831 --> 01:19:47,122
Your mother and I are made of stern stuff.
1027
01:19:47,123 --> 01:19:48,580
What?
1028
01:19:48,581 --> 01:19:51,330
"Your mother and I." I'm not used to it.
1029
01:19:51,331 --> 01:19:53,913
Nor me.
1030
01:19:53,914 --> 01:19:57,122
In fact, I've never told you this but...
1031
01:19:57,123 --> 01:19:59,497
your mother and I
1032
01:19:59,498 --> 01:20:01,705
were very much in love when we had you.
1033
01:20:01,706 --> 01:20:04,538
It was brief but intense.
1034
01:20:04,539 --> 01:20:08,122
So don't be like us. Make the most of life.
1035
01:20:08,123 --> 01:20:13,123
Your Stavros seems like a nice guy.
1036
01:20:14,123 --> 01:20:15,330
What?
1037
01:20:15,331 --> 01:20:18,330
No, nothing.
1038
01:20:18,331 --> 01:20:20,663
I'll be here if you get divorced.
1039
01:20:20,664 --> 01:20:21,413
Dad!
1040
01:20:21,414 --> 01:20:23,413
- What?
- It's my wedding!
1041
01:20:23,414 --> 01:20:27,413
Well, yes, you hardly know him.
ls there a marriage contract?
1042
01:20:27,414 --> 01:20:28,580
Dad, stop it!
1043
01:20:28,581 --> 01:20:32,663
Yes, sorry, you're right.
You make a lovely couple.
1044
01:20:32,664 --> 01:20:34,913
And it'll last a lifetime.
1045
01:20:34,914 --> 01:20:39,914
A lifetime.
1046
01:20:46,123 --> 01:20:51,123
They're so sweet.
1047
01:20:52,581 --> 01:20:56,205
I want to apologise for everything
I've done to you.
1048
01:20:56,206 --> 01:20:58,497
The night-time phone calls,
1049
01:20:58,498 --> 01:21:00,997
the insults,
1050
01:21:00,998 --> 01:21:03,997
the court cases...
1051
01:21:03,998 --> 01:21:06,455
The punctured tyres at the driving school.
1052
01:21:06,456 --> 01:21:08,038
Have you finished?
1053
01:21:08,039 --> 01:21:09,080
Yeah.
1054
01:21:09,081 --> 01:21:11,205
Piss off, then.
1055
01:21:11,206 --> 01:21:13,538
That's not very nice.
1056
01:21:13,539 --> 01:21:18,539
Scram.
1057
01:21:21,498 --> 01:21:26,498
Bitch!
1058
01:21:26,748 --> 01:21:28,580
I nearly forgot.
1059
01:21:28,581 --> 01:21:33,581
I slept with your fella again. Sorry.
1060
01:21:37,414 --> 01:21:38,747
You like it?
1061
01:21:38,748 --> 01:21:41,288
You look magnificent.
1062
01:21:41,289 --> 01:21:45,163
It's not the dress, but you look
even more beautiful.
1063
01:21:45,164 --> 01:21:50,164
Thanks.
1064
01:21:50,956 --> 01:21:53,288
I'm so happy for you.
1065
01:21:53,289 --> 01:21:54,330
Really?
1066
01:21:54,331 --> 01:21:56,330
Yes, really.
1067
01:21:56,331 --> 01:21:59,872
You don't mind that I'm 20,
getting married on an impulse?
1068
01:21:59,873 --> 01:22:01,330
No.
1069
01:22:01,331 --> 01:22:03,122
He is Greek, after all.
1070
01:22:03,123 --> 01:22:05,497
It's OK!
1071
01:22:05,498 --> 01:22:08,663
Before I forget...
1072
01:22:08,664 --> 01:22:10,288
This is your present.
1073
01:22:10,289 --> 01:22:12,663
I started it when you told me the news.
1074
01:22:12,664 --> 01:22:14,288
Watch it at your leisure.
1075
01:22:14,289 --> 01:22:16,913
There's a big fat cheque as well.
1076
01:22:16,914 --> 01:22:19,080
Excuse me.
1077
01:22:19,081 --> 01:22:20,872
Sweetheart,
1078
01:22:20,873 --> 01:22:25,873
this song is for you.
1079
01:22:29,623 --> 01:22:32,372
She wanted a child
1080
01:22:32,373 --> 01:22:35,538
But I wasn't so keen
1081
01:22:35,539 --> 01:22:40,372
Yet she made it so easy
1082
01:22:40,373 --> 01:22:43,205
With her powers of persuasion
1083
01:22:43,206 --> 01:22:45,872
To make me a father
1084
01:22:45,873 --> 01:22:48,872
C�cile
1085
01:22:48,873 --> 01:22:53,080
My daughter
1086
01:22:53,081 --> 01:22:55,413
When her tummy swelled
1087
01:22:55,414 --> 01:22:58,455
She burst out laughing
1088
01:22:58,456 --> 01:23:03,456
And said, "Be happy
1089
01:23:03,498 --> 01:23:07,413
"It'll be a boy..."
1090
01:23:07,414 --> 01:23:12,413
And now here you are, C�cile
1091
01:23:12,414 --> 01:23:17,414
My daughter...
1092
01:23:18,414 --> 01:23:20,122
I'm sorry.
1093
01:23:20,123 --> 01:23:25,123
Sorry.
1094
01:23:25,539 --> 01:23:30,539
Here you are, and here am I
1095
01:23:31,873 --> 01:23:36,873
I am thirty, and you're six months old
1096
01:23:37,206 --> 01:23:42,206
Nose to nose, looking into each other's eyes
1097
01:23:42,456 --> 01:23:47,456
Which of the two of us is the most amazed?
1098
01:23:47,706 --> 01:23:50,163
Long before I had you
1099
01:23:50,164 --> 01:23:53,205
I'd had my share of girls
1100
01:23:53,206 --> 01:23:58,080
Tossing the coin of my heart
1101
01:23:58,081 --> 01:24:00,872
A brunette won here
1102
01:24:00,873 --> 01:24:03,663
A blonde lost there
1103
01:24:03,664 --> 01:24:06,497
C�cile
1104
01:24:06,498 --> 01:24:10,747
My daughter
1105
01:24:10,748 --> 01:24:15,748
May you always be loved as I'm loving you now
1106
01:24:15,956 --> 01:24:20,872
My breath on your lashes
1107
01:24:20,873 --> 01:24:23,747
My kiss on your mouth
1108
01:24:23,748 --> 01:24:26,913
In your innocent sleep
1109
01:24:26,914 --> 01:24:31,122
C�cile
1110
01:24:31,123 --> 01:24:36,123
My daughter.
1111
01:25:06,331 --> 01:25:07,622
Val.
1112
01:25:07,623 --> 01:25:10,413
- Our friends are waiting.
- Oh, yes.
1113
01:25:10,414 --> 01:25:11,455
The police?
1114
01:25:11,456 --> 01:25:14,080
Just a couple of things to sort out.
1115
01:25:14,081 --> 01:25:17,205
- We had to hurry...
- What the hell is this?
1116
01:25:17,206 --> 01:25:19,955
We may have to stay in Greece for a while.
1117
01:25:19,956 --> 01:25:21,913
- You can't be serious.
- I am.
1118
01:25:21,914 --> 01:25:25,872
I'd better go.
1119
01:25:25,873 --> 01:25:28,747
Val�rie!
1120
01:25:28,748 --> 01:25:29,788
See you.
1121
01:25:29,789 --> 01:25:31,580
Val�rie!
1122
01:25:31,581 --> 01:25:33,997
What did you tell Sylvie?
1123
01:25:33,998 --> 01:25:35,288
What do you mean?
1124
01:25:35,289 --> 01:25:38,080
Did you tell her about our night in Slovenia?
1125
01:25:38,081 --> 01:25:38,955
No.
1126
01:25:38,956 --> 01:25:40,830
- Yes, you did.
- No way!
1127
01:25:40,831 --> 01:25:41,830
Did you?
1128
01:25:41,831 --> 01:25:43,705
- No, I didn't.
- Are you sure?
1129
01:25:43,706 --> 01:25:47,413
- What do you take me for?
- For what you are!
1130
01:25:47,414 --> 01:25:51,413
Did you tell her we slept together?
1131
01:25:51,414 --> 01:25:56,414
You did!
1132
01:26:03,789 --> 01:26:08,038
Mummy's diary, episode 27...No, 28.
1133
01:26:08,039 --> 01:26:11,413
15th April, at...11:42.
1134
01:26:11,414 --> 01:26:14,205
Well, I'm on the plane, coming to Greece.
1135
01:26:14,206 --> 01:26:17,830
I remember holding you in my arms,
the day you were born,
1136
01:26:17,831 --> 01:26:22,831
and now you're getting married.
1137
01:26:23,331 --> 01:26:28,331
No, I'm not going to cry...
1138
01:26:31,623 --> 01:26:36,623
The owl! The strangled owl!
73821
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