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Kids, when you're in 20s
dating is great,
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00:00:04,406 --> 00:00:06,956
but by the time you reach your 30s,
you find out pretty fast
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00:00:07,081 --> 00:00:08,341
everyone has baggage.
4
00:00:08,867 --> 00:00:10,410
You can stick to the small talk
5
00:00:10,535 --> 00:00:13,172
and pretend it's not there,
but sooner or later...
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00:00:14,013 --> 00:00:16,849
It's my ex.
Sorry. We're trying to remain friends.
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00:00:18,008 --> 00:00:21,547
Hi, pumpkin!
Did you get our tickets to Maui?
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Yeah, it's there.
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Synchro: ShalimarFox, JoJo13
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.:: www.sous-titres.eu ::.
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She was smart, beautiful...
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We're very happy together.
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- But...
- Exactly. That's the problem.
14
00:00:49,591 --> 00:00:50,591
Her butt?
15
00:00:50,900 --> 00:00:52,177
- Too much?
- Too little?
16
00:00:52,302 --> 00:00:53,991
Or is it an issue of access?
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00:00:54,847 --> 00:00:57,725
No, the "but" is, there's
always gonna be a "but. "
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00:00:57,850 --> 00:00:59,442
No matter how great things
are going,
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00:00:59,567 --> 00:01:01,268
sooner or later,
it's gonna get ruined.
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00:01:01,636 --> 00:01:03,062
When she turns 30.
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When I find out what her baggage is.
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00:01:05,757 --> 00:01:07,626
It's there.
I don't know what it is,
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00:01:07,751 --> 00:01:09,610
but when I do, party's over.
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Please tell me you are not impugning
emotional baggage.
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00:01:14,950 --> 00:01:16,200
Baggage is a good thing?
26
00:01:16,368 --> 00:01:18,636
Emotional baggage is the bedrock
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00:01:18,761 --> 00:01:21,789
of America's most important
cultural export.
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Porn.
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00:01:23,587 --> 00:01:25,584
Actually, it's porn.
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00:01:26,628 --> 00:01:29,657
Only women
with major baggage go into porn.
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Major Baggage.
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Everyone has baggage.
You just got to look past it.
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Really? 'Cause the last time
I looked past a girl's baggage,
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that baggage belonged
to a girl named Stella,
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00:01:40,792 --> 00:01:42,861
and... I'm drawing a blank here.
36
00:01:42,986 --> 00:01:44,603
How did that work out again?
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Here's how it worked out.
I asked her to marry me. She said yes.
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But then the day of the wedding,
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00:01:50,736 --> 00:01:54,155
her karate instructor, ex-boyfriend
Tony Grafanello showed up,
40
00:01:54,447 --> 00:01:55,865
declared his love for her,
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Stella ran off with him
to California,
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00:01:57,993 --> 00:02:00,536
leaving me utterly
and completely heartbroken.
43
00:02:01,091 --> 00:02:03,480
Ted, look, what happened with
Stella was awful,
44
00:02:03,605 --> 00:02:06,500
but that doesn't mean
anyone with baggage is undateable.
45
00:02:06,668 --> 00:02:09,454
I'm just glad that we met young enough
that I don't have any baggage.
46
00:02:09,579 --> 00:02:11,172
- Mother issues.
- I do not.
47
00:02:11,340 --> 00:02:12,965
- Grandmother issues.
- Definitely no.
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00:02:13,133 --> 00:02:16,051
- Great-grandmother issues.
- I don't like it when she picks me up.
49
00:02:16,219 --> 00:02:18,204
And you know what
your biggest baggage is?
50
00:02:18,329 --> 00:02:21,015
- You're too nice.
- How is being nice baggage?
51
00:02:21,183 --> 00:02:23,517
Have you ever seen you
walk down the street?
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- I don't even know how to answer that.
- Let me help you out.
53
00:02:34,093 --> 00:02:36,254
Hey, Deng,
let me help you with that.
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That ought to do it.
55
00:02:41,699 --> 00:02:44,453
Guys, no. I could not today.
It would just be...
56
00:02:52,330 --> 00:02:53,631
That's normal.
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00:02:54,057 --> 00:02:56,335
There is only one street
where that is normal.
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00:02:56,460 --> 00:02:57,512
Here's a hint:
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00:02:57,637 --> 00:02:59,845
a giant yellow bird lives on it.
60
00:03:00,955 --> 00:03:04,517
I'll be pretty happy if Royce's
only baggage is that she's too nice.
61
00:03:04,685 --> 00:03:07,019
Too nice?
That is the worst kind of baggage.
62
00:03:07,813 --> 00:03:11,190
Best baggage: hates her dad
and thinks she's fat, but isn't.
63
00:03:12,067 --> 00:03:13,534
Angry sex on the first date,
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00:03:13,659 --> 00:03:16,054
and then as soon as
you mention breakfast, she's gone.
65
00:03:16,989 --> 00:03:18,523
Why do guys hang out with me?
66
00:03:19,687 --> 00:03:21,319
That night on my date with Royce,
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00:03:21,444 --> 00:03:23,727
I kept waiting to see
what her baggage would be.
68
00:03:23,852 --> 00:03:26,247
So, is spaghetti your specialty?
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00:03:27,623 --> 00:03:29,292
The main event is my pancakes.
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I'll make 'em for you sometime.
They are insane.
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00:03:32,429 --> 00:03:34,980
My dad used to make
multigrain pancakes.
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00:03:35,105 --> 00:03:36,841
He's the one who got
me working in porn.
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00:03:40,113 --> 00:03:42,763
You know PORN? "Parents Offering
Recognition and Nutrition"?
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00:03:43,218 --> 00:03:44,858
It's a charity for inner-city teens
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00:03:44,983 --> 00:03:46,892
who don't have access
to sports or healthy food.
76
00:03:49,404 --> 00:03:50,804
That reminds me...
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00:03:51,439 --> 00:03:52,731
I killed my brother...
78
00:03:55,652 --> 00:03:57,529
with this joke
I told him last night.
79
00:03:58,679 --> 00:04:01,073
A barber, a stripper and a Jew...
80
00:04:05,871 --> 00:04:08,975
... lliard-trained violinist
walk into a bar.
81
00:04:09,100 --> 00:04:12,076
I looked and looked and looked,
but it really appeared
82
00:04:12,201 --> 00:04:14,378
as though there was no baggage
to worry about...
83
00:04:15,354 --> 00:04:17,554
until we went to go see a movie.
84
00:04:29,978 --> 00:04:32,688
- What took you guys so long?
- Nothing. Forget about it.
85
00:04:33,706 --> 00:04:36,108
We were on our way here,
and Marshall wanted
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00:04:36,276 --> 00:04:39,070
to stop and help some guys load
their moving van.
87
00:04:39,488 --> 00:04:41,155
To be nice.
It didn't cost nothing.
88
00:04:41,765 --> 00:04:43,433
And when the moving van drove away,
89
00:04:43,558 --> 00:04:46,578
who should show up
but the owner of the apartment
90
00:04:46,703 --> 00:04:48,871
we had just helped some guys rob.
91
00:04:49,438 --> 00:04:52,659
And that one was hard
to explain to the police.
92
00:04:53,251 --> 00:04:55,153
See, Marshall?
This is what I mean.
93
00:04:55,278 --> 00:04:58,390
You can't treat New York City
like it's the small, friendly,
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00:04:58,515 --> 00:05:00,575
crime-free, inbred, backwoods,
95
00:05:00,700 --> 00:05:04,094
podunk, cow-tipping, Minnesota
Hickville where you grew up.
96
00:05:04,811 --> 00:05:05,679
Crime-free?
97
00:05:06,388 --> 00:05:07,438
Crime-free?
98
00:05:07,652 --> 00:05:10,620
In 1994, the cashier
from the feed store
99
00:05:10,745 --> 00:05:12,436
was held up at hoepoint.
100
00:05:12,604 --> 00:05:14,907
And besides, I like being friendly.
101
00:05:15,032 --> 00:05:16,732
I'm not gonna change that
about myself.
102
00:05:16,987 --> 00:05:19,401
No, don't change, baby.
I think it's sweet.
103
00:05:19,569 --> 00:05:20,454
Sweet.
104
00:05:20,579 --> 00:05:23,155
Sweet mother of God,
he's an idiot sometimes.
105
00:05:23,752 --> 00:05:25,991
He actually lent the burglars
gas money.
106
00:05:26,773 --> 00:05:29,879
- He gave them money?
- Not gave, lent.
107
00:05:30,004 --> 00:05:31,957
They said that they would
send us a check,
108
00:05:32,082 --> 00:05:34,083
so Marshall gave them our address.
109
00:05:34,798 --> 00:05:37,245
What's to stop them from coming
to our apartment one night
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00:05:37,370 --> 00:05:38,970
and maybe tying me up?
111
00:05:39,513 --> 00:05:41,341
I mean, sure,
Marshall and I like to pretend,
112
00:05:41,466 --> 00:05:43,217
but the reality is scary.
113
00:05:43,635 --> 00:05:47,468
- Why don't you say something to him?
- What's the point? He's from Minnesota.
114
00:05:47,593 --> 00:05:49,473
His high school mascot was a hug.
115
00:05:52,134 --> 00:05:54,012
How'd the date with Royce go?
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00:05:54,137 --> 00:05:57,378
It was interesting. We went to see
that new movie The Wedding Bride.
117
00:05:57,503 --> 00:05:58,357
How was it?!
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00:05:59,192 --> 00:06:01,303
Not that I care.
I mean, that's a chick flick.
119
00:06:01,428 --> 00:06:03,728
This one'll probably drag me
to it, like
120
00:06:04,296 --> 00:06:07,577
the 7:10 show tomorrow night
or 9:40 because I have that meeting.
121
00:06:07,702 --> 00:06:09,868
I can probably get out of it,
so let's try for the 7:10.
122
00:06:10,036 --> 00:06:13,247
- What's that movie about, anyway?
- That's the interesting part.
123
00:06:13,877 --> 00:06:14,915
Hey, bonehead,
124
00:06:15,270 --> 00:06:16,750
I'm Jed Mosely!
125
00:06:17,165 --> 00:06:18,502
I'm the most powerful
126
00:06:18,670 --> 00:06:20,379
and corrupt architect in New York.
127
00:06:20,547 --> 00:06:21,547
I want...
128
00:06:25,472 --> 00:06:26,427
It's about me.
129
00:06:30,599 --> 00:06:32,815
- The Wedding Bride is about you?
- Yeah.
130
00:06:33,310 --> 00:06:34,460
Are you sure?
131
00:06:34,585 --> 00:06:36,770
When I saw Spaceballs
for the first time, I could've...
132
00:06:36,938 --> 00:06:40,086
This movie is about me, Marshall.
It was written
133
00:06:40,334 --> 00:06:41,567
by Tony Grafanello.
134
00:06:41,993 --> 00:06:43,899
Tony Grafanello?
That's the...
135
00:06:44,024 --> 00:06:45,821
Yeah, the guy
that Stella left me for.
136
00:06:45,989 --> 00:06:48,624
This movie is the whole story
of our breakup.
137
00:06:48,749 --> 00:06:52,202
Why would he write a movie about that?
Isn't he the bad guy in that story?
138
00:06:52,370 --> 00:06:55,599
And the good guy is a guy
named Ted Mosby.
139
00:06:55,724 --> 00:06:58,202
Funny, that was
my memory of it, too.
140
00:06:58,411 --> 00:07:00,502
But according to the movie...
141
00:07:01,751 --> 00:07:03,712
Mr. Mosley, your fianc� is here.
142
00:07:03,837 --> 00:07:06,340
Great, the old ball and chain.
143
00:07:06,853 --> 00:07:09,887
I can't wait to make her move out
of her beautiful house in New Jersey
144
00:07:10,055 --> 00:07:12,262
and come live with
me in an apartment above a bar.
145
00:07:12,387 --> 00:07:13,781
Send her in!
146
00:07:16,084 --> 00:07:18,896
Stella, to what do I owe
the pleasure?
147
00:07:19,656 --> 00:07:22,399
We're supposed to taste wedding
cakes this afternoon, remember?
148
00:07:23,867 --> 00:07:26,379
No-can-do's-ville, baby doll.
149
00:07:36,508 --> 00:07:38,784
- Well, I am stunned.
- Right?
150
00:07:39,292 --> 00:07:41,892
That's what passes for comedy
these days?
151
00:07:43,021 --> 00:07:44,838
"I'm falling back in my chair!"
152
00:07:47,132 --> 00:07:49,259
I'm really falling back in my chair.
153
00:07:50,151 --> 00:07:51,595
Okay, that was pretty funny.
154
00:07:52,087 --> 00:07:53,187
What a jerk.
155
00:07:53,312 --> 00:07:55,701
Did he at least get
someone hot to play me?
156
00:07:56,018 --> 00:07:57,851
- You're not in it.
- What a jerk!
157
00:07:59,344 --> 00:08:00,744
Tony's not a jerk.
158
00:08:01,029 --> 00:08:02,481
Not according to the movie.
159
00:08:03,028 --> 00:08:04,947
I'm going through with this wedding.
160
00:08:05,147 --> 00:08:06,401
I'm sorry, Tony.
161
00:08:07,092 --> 00:08:10,126
Stella, your happiness is
the only thing I care about,
162
00:08:10,877 --> 00:08:14,405
except for these underprivileged
children that I work with for free.
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00:08:16,800 --> 00:08:18,171
I love him.
164
00:08:19,431 --> 00:08:21,083
It's not that easy, Tony.
165
00:08:21,458 --> 00:08:24,713
Jed Mosely may not be
as handsome as you are, as...
166
00:08:25,380 --> 00:08:26,463
tall as you are...
167
00:08:26,631 --> 00:08:28,381
I'm taller than that guy.
168
00:08:29,134 --> 00:08:30,717
... and our sex life is terrible.
169
00:08:31,356 --> 00:08:33,554
Once, he even fell asleep
while we were doing it...
170
00:08:33,722 --> 00:08:36,272
It was one time.
I was on cold medicine!
171
00:08:36,538 --> 00:08:37,826
- What?
- Nothing.
172
00:08:39,243 --> 00:08:41,441
This is a terrible movie!
173
00:08:41,730 --> 00:08:43,193
And it got everything wrong!
174
00:08:43,318 --> 00:08:45,023
Remember how I proposed to Stella?
175
00:08:45,664 --> 00:08:48,375
That spontaneous moment
in the arcade; I didn't have a ring,
176
00:08:48,500 --> 00:08:50,721
so I gave her a toy I wonfrom a crane machine?
177
00:08:51,114 --> 00:08:53,282
- That was so sweet.
- So romantic.
178
00:08:53,450 --> 00:08:54,750
A little cheesy.
179
00:08:55,519 --> 00:08:57,786
Well, here's how it went
in the movie:
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00:08:58,388 --> 00:09:02,207
Look, if it'll shut you up,
I guess we can get married.
181
00:09:02,896 --> 00:09:04,585
Aren't you gonna give me a ring?
182
00:09:04,857 --> 00:09:07,652
No-can-do's-ville, baby doll.
183
00:09:09,192 --> 00:09:10,674
Here, put this on your finger.
184
00:09:13,218 --> 00:09:15,012
And remember the two-minute date?
185
00:09:15,650 --> 00:09:17,554
When I squeezed an entire
romantic evening
186
00:09:17,679 --> 00:09:20,466
into just two minutes to accommodate
Stella's busy schedule?
187
00:09:21,144 --> 00:09:23,187
- You're a good guy.
- That was really nice.
188
00:09:23,355 --> 00:09:24,905
Also a little cheesy.
189
00:09:26,322 --> 00:09:27,900
Well, according to the movie...
190
00:09:28,555 --> 00:09:30,277
What about our big romantic weekend?
191
00:09:30,445 --> 00:09:32,592
No-can-do's-ville, baby doll.
192
00:09:32,976 --> 00:09:35,646
Alls I got time for is
a two-minute date,
193
00:09:35,980 --> 00:09:37,980
if you know what I mean. Sex!
194
00:09:46,547 --> 00:09:49,004
If you know what you're doing,
two minutes is all you need.
195
00:09:49,172 --> 00:09:50,322
Run tell dat.
196
00:09:51,528 --> 00:09:54,533
But the worst,
the worst was the ending.
197
00:09:54,658 --> 00:09:55,719
At the wedding...
198
00:09:56,318 --> 00:09:58,626
Do you, Stella, take Jed Mosely
199
00:09:58,751 --> 00:10:00,891
to be your lawfully wedded husband?
200
00:10:02,392 --> 00:10:03,227
Spoilers!
201
00:10:04,780 --> 00:10:06,714
Is what I would say if ever
202
00:10:07,007 --> 00:10:09,066
plan on seeing such an awful film!
203
00:10:10,193 --> 00:10:11,240
Continue.
204
00:10:14,031 --> 00:10:15,447
So they're at the wedding...
205
00:10:20,578 --> 00:10:21,954
Something I need to say.
206
00:10:22,614 --> 00:10:26,041
A long time ago,
I let this beautiful girl named Stella
207
00:10:26,452 --> 00:10:27,459
get away.
208
00:10:28,210 --> 00:10:29,878
And now she's with some jerk
209
00:10:30,261 --> 00:10:32,927
who doesn't appreciate
what he has in this beautiful
210
00:10:33,542 --> 00:10:34,508
wedding bride.
211
00:10:36,719 --> 00:10:38,376
What is wrong with you people?
212
00:10:39,446 --> 00:10:41,365
You can't talk to me like that!
213
00:10:41,745 --> 00:10:43,462
I'm Ted Mosely!
214
00:10:44,062 --> 00:10:45,776
Did he say "Ted" that time?
215
00:10:46,479 --> 00:10:49,145
Stella,
I promised to make you my wife.
216
00:10:50,376 --> 00:10:52,484
And I'd like to live up
to that promise.
217
00:10:54,946 --> 00:10:57,480
All I've wanted all my life
was your love.
218
00:10:58,908 --> 00:11:00,395
Go on, honey, kiss him.
219
00:11:00,520 --> 00:11:02,035
Kiss him! Kiss him!
220
00:11:04,247 --> 00:11:06,210
If you still truly love me...
221
00:11:07,558 --> 00:11:10,810
Will you let me make you
my wedding bride?
222
00:11:13,945 --> 00:11:16,091
Can-do's-ville, baby doll.
223
00:11:21,806 --> 00:11:22,931
Stop doing that!
224
00:11:23,292 --> 00:11:24,308
Daddy!
225
00:11:27,115 --> 00:11:28,888
Take that, Ted Mosby!
226
00:11:32,066 --> 00:11:34,201
He definitely said it that time.
227
00:11:46,453 --> 00:11:47,991
Oh, my God!
228
00:11:48,680 --> 00:11:52,108
That was so good!
I'm laughing, I'm crying.
229
00:11:52,878 --> 00:11:54,671
I know it's all fake,
but didn't those
230
00:11:54,796 --> 00:11:56,851
seem like real characters?
231
00:11:56,976 --> 00:11:58,737
It was just so real!
232
00:12:00,261 --> 00:12:02,471
How come you said, "Oh, no"
when the movie started?
233
00:12:03,026 --> 00:12:05,147
That's when I realized
everyone has baggage...
234
00:12:05,272 --> 00:12:06,266
including me.
235
00:12:10,151 --> 00:12:11,194
No reason.
236
00:12:13,068 --> 00:12:14,850
Ted, I think you need to tell Royce
237
00:12:14,975 --> 00:12:17,229
the story of what happened with you
and Stella.
238
00:12:17,354 --> 00:12:19,029
It's gonna come out eventually.
239
00:12:19,197 --> 00:12:21,027
Why? Why does it even have to?
240
00:12:21,659 --> 00:12:25,369
For starters, it's now the fifth
highest grossing movie of all time.
241
00:12:26,768 --> 00:12:27,704
I don't care.
242
00:12:28,221 --> 00:12:31,538
I'm taking this to the grave.
It's a stupid movie anyway!
243
00:12:31,760 --> 00:12:32,862
Sounds terrible.
244
00:12:33,461 --> 00:12:34,836
245
00:12:35,506 --> 00:12:37,172
Kids, you know where this is going.
246
00:12:39,679 --> 00:12:41,218
She's made her choice.
247
00:12:42,034 --> 00:12:44,273
Don't worry.
I won't go to the wedding.
248
00:12:44,722 --> 00:12:45,889
You'll go all right!
249
00:12:46,849 --> 00:12:49,042
I'm gonna drive you there myself
and make you
250
00:12:49,263 --> 00:12:50,263
watch!
251
00:12:52,254 --> 00:12:53,105
Billy, no!
252
00:12:53,880 --> 00:12:54,731
The code.
253
00:12:55,984 --> 00:12:57,734
This is exactly how it happened.
254
00:12:58,031 --> 00:13:01,617
He got every part right.
Even the thing with the nunchucks.
255
00:13:02,812 --> 00:13:05,742
So I was resolved to put
The Wedding Bride as far behind me
256
00:13:05,910 --> 00:13:07,744
as possible.
Unfortunately...
257
00:13:07,912 --> 00:13:09,579
How great was The Wedding Bride?
258
00:13:10,163 --> 00:13:13,010
- Loved it, loved it, loved it!
- We're going to see it again tomorrow.
259
00:13:13,135 --> 00:13:15,287
Can we come?
Ted, you want to see it again, right?
260
00:13:15,412 --> 00:13:17,959
- Yeah, it was good.
- "Good"?
261
00:13:18,255 --> 00:13:20,799
Try instant classic!
The only thing wrong with it.
262
00:13:20,967 --> 00:13:24,299
And I mean, it's such a minor flaw
in an otherwise flawless film,
263
00:13:24,424 --> 00:13:26,979
I just didn't get why Stella
would even want to marry a guy
264
00:13:27,104 --> 00:13:28,748
like Jed Mosely in the first place.
265
00:13:28,873 --> 00:13:30,647
I mean, even that guy's name:
266
00:13:30,870 --> 00:13:32,276
Jed Mosely....
267
00:13:32,770 --> 00:13:35,689
Come on, Royce. You've dated
a few Jed Moselys in your day.
268
00:13:36,702 --> 00:13:37,899
Okay, but who hasn't?
269
00:13:38,190 --> 00:13:39,280
He's such a type:
270
00:13:39,526 --> 00:13:42,819
The butterfly tattoo,
the way he pronounces encyclopedia.
271
00:13:43,656 --> 00:13:44,990
Encyclo-pay-dia.
272
00:13:45,158 --> 00:13:48,240
Totally. Technically,
that is the correct pronunciation.
273
00:13:48,365 --> 00:13:51,428
I was so, so happy
when that loser got left at the altar.
274
00:13:51,553 --> 00:13:53,582
And you know why?
Because he had it coming.
275
00:13:54,542 --> 00:13:57,278
And the great part is,
he is gonna live a long, sad life,
276
00:13:57,507 --> 00:13:59,722
knowing that he lost
his only chance at happiness.
277
00:14:00,381 --> 00:14:02,799
And what about when
he got beat up by the goat?
278
00:14:02,924 --> 00:14:04,429
- So funny!
- What a loser!
279
00:14:04,554 --> 00:14:05,566
Totally.
280
00:14:06,058 --> 00:14:07,058
Totally!
281
00:14:07,183 --> 00:14:11,003
The guy's life was shattered
in a very public humiliation.
282
00:14:11,128 --> 00:14:12,142
What a hoot!
283
00:14:13,478 --> 00:14:16,839
It may be years before he can look
certain family members in the eye again.
284
00:14:17,315 --> 00:14:19,139
He may be
so emotionally traumatized,
285
00:14:19,264 --> 00:14:21,866
he never fully loves
or trusts anyone ever again.
286
00:14:21,991 --> 00:14:23,591
It was hysterical!
287
00:14:23,863 --> 00:14:27,362
Move over, Adolf Hitler,
there's a new king of comedy, right?
288
00:14:28,687 --> 00:14:30,000
Ted, are you okay?
289
00:14:30,574 --> 00:14:33,984
No, I just think you all might be
interested to learn something about that
290
00:14:34,371 --> 00:14:36,583
movie you all love so much.
291
00:14:40,104 --> 00:14:41,104
It sucks...
292
00:14:41,486 --> 00:14:43,912
And you're all stupid for liking it.
293
00:14:46,713 --> 00:14:49,713
That was really mean
and I think you owe us an apology.
294
00:14:53,170 --> 00:14:54,935
No-can-do's-ville, baby doll...
295
00:14:56,279 --> 00:14:58,317
No-can-do's-ville...
296
00:15:03,947 --> 00:15:06,736
You said,
"No-can-do's-ville, baby doll"?
297
00:15:07,073 --> 00:15:09,741
You actually used
Jed Mosely's catchphrase?
298
00:15:09,909 --> 00:15:12,266
I know!
I was just so upset that they...
299
00:15:13,801 --> 00:15:15,863
How do you know
that's his catchphrase?
300
00:15:16,999 --> 00:15:19,251
- I wanted to see Avatar.
- That's it.
301
00:15:19,419 --> 00:15:22,367
I'm just gonna move to some country
where no one's seen The Wedding Bride.
302
00:15:22,755 --> 00:15:25,257
Good luck, Ted.
That movie is worldwide. It's huge.
303
00:15:25,567 --> 00:15:26,845
Maybe North Korea?
304
00:15:27,372 --> 00:15:30,286
I read that Kim Jong IL said it's his
second favorite movie of all time.
305
00:15:30,411 --> 00:15:32,313
Right behind a movie
of him riding a horse
306
00:15:32,438 --> 00:15:34,266
in slow motion through
a field of turnips.
307
00:15:34,563 --> 00:15:35,976
Sorry, Ted.
You're screwed.
308
00:15:36,511 --> 00:15:39,104
No, Ted, you know what, no,
Ted is not screwed.
309
00:15:40,314 --> 00:15:42,339
Do you want to know
why I'm nice to everyone?
310
00:15:42,464 --> 00:15:44,276
It's because
I don't care bout baggage.
311
00:15:44,444 --> 00:15:46,928
Most people, they see
another person walking down the street
312
00:15:47,053 --> 00:15:50,407
with that big bag they're carrying,
and they just walk on by. But not me.
313
00:15:50,575 --> 00:15:52,589
I look at them and I say, I say,
314
00:15:53,070 --> 00:15:55,745
"Howdy, stranger.
Can I give you a hand with that?"
315
00:15:55,913 --> 00:15:58,999
And you know who taught me to be
that way? A guy called Ted Mosby.
316
00:15:59,600 --> 00:16:00,458
A guy who's
317
00:16:00,626 --> 00:16:02,694
uncynical and sincere
318
00:16:02,819 --> 00:16:04,921
and believed in things.
And you know what, Ted?
319
00:16:05,495 --> 00:16:06,339
I believe
320
00:16:06,507 --> 00:16:08,592
that deep down,
you're still that guy.
321
00:16:09,737 --> 00:16:11,136
I am still that guy.
322
00:16:11,304 --> 00:16:13,013
I think you want to go
and get that girl.
323
00:16:13,404 --> 00:16:16,308
- I want to get that girl.
- 'cause she's the love of your life.
324
00:16:16,476 --> 00:16:17,716
Because she's...
325
00:16:18,695 --> 00:16:21,438
- We're three dates in. She seems nice.
- Because she seems nice!
326
00:16:21,606 --> 00:16:23,324
She does seem nice!
327
00:16:23,816 --> 00:16:26,401
You're right, Marshall.
I gotta go get her.
328
00:16:28,202 --> 00:16:29,946
And I know exactly where she is.
329
00:16:33,026 --> 00:16:35,368
The wedding's in 15 minutes.
330
00:16:35,536 --> 00:16:36,682
I'll never make it!
331
00:16:36,996 --> 00:16:38,675
You can do it, Sensei.
332
00:16:38,800 --> 00:16:40,808
Go get love a house round kick.
333
00:16:41,070 --> 00:16:42,382
Right in the heart.
334
00:16:43,753 --> 00:16:45,670
You're right. What am I doing?
335
00:16:46,858 --> 00:16:48,089
There's still time!
336
00:17:06,590 --> 00:17:08,934
Do you, Stella, take Jed Mosely
337
00:17:09,156 --> 00:17:11,195
to be your lawfully wedded husband,
338
00:17:12,485 --> 00:17:13,305
I...
339
00:17:15,865 --> 00:17:16,660
Royce!
340
00:17:16,828 --> 00:17:18,078
- Stella!
- Ted?
341
00:17:18,246 --> 00:17:19,579
- Tony?
- Tony?
342
00:17:19,747 --> 00:17:21,539
- Ted?
- Barney?
343
00:17:23,437 --> 00:17:25,002
There's something I need to say.
344
00:17:25,127 --> 00:17:26,888
Look, there's something
I need to say.
345
00:17:27,013 --> 00:17:28,470
A long time ago,
346
00:17:29,077 --> 00:17:32,546
I let a horrible girl
named Stella Break my heart...
347
00:17:32,671 --> 00:17:33,927
Get away...
348
00:17:34,280 --> 00:17:36,054
And now she's with this jerk
349
00:17:36,222 --> 00:17:38,848
who wrote a movie about it
and that movie is called...
350
00:17:39,445 --> 00:17:40,711
The Wedding Bride.
351
00:17:41,766 --> 00:17:44,479
- What are you saying?
- You can't talk to me like that!
352
00:17:44,821 --> 00:17:46,398
- I'm Jed Mosely!
- I'm Ted Mosely!
353
00:17:46,566 --> 00:17:47,399
But Royce,
354
00:17:48,860 --> 00:17:51,129
this dufus in the red cowboy boots,
this isn't me.
355
00:17:51,654 --> 00:17:52,720
Just to be clear,
356
00:17:52,845 --> 00:17:56,049
are you saying you that you don't have
a pair of cowboy boots in your closet?
357
00:17:56,409 --> 00:17:58,576
- Barney what are you...
- I just wanted...
358
00:17:58,744 --> 00:18:01,354
- Everyone wants to know.
- They're actually more of a burgundy.
359
00:18:03,124 --> 00:18:05,041
- Royce, I promised
- Stella, I promised
360
00:18:05,209 --> 00:18:07,436
- to make you some pancakes.
- To make you my wife.
361
00:18:07,659 --> 00:18:10,835
And I'd like to live up
to that promise.
362
00:18:11,424 --> 00:18:14,539
- Ted, all I've wanted all my life...
- Ted, all I've wanted all week...
363
00:18:14,664 --> 00:18:17,595
- was your love.
- Was some pancakes.
364
00:18:18,973 --> 00:18:21,141
Go on, honey, kiss him!
365
00:18:22,935 --> 00:18:24,477
Uncle Barney didn't say "kiss".
366
00:18:24,774 --> 00:18:25,937
Kiss him.
367
00:18:28,858 --> 00:18:30,223
Still not saying "kiss."
368
00:18:31,152 --> 00:18:32,610
You need to leave, now.
369
00:18:32,778 --> 00:18:35,160
This is outrageous.
Who the kiss are you?
370
00:18:35,804 --> 00:18:39,730
- Stella If you still truly love me...
- If you still kind of like me...
371
00:18:41,182 --> 00:18:42,996
can you let me make you
372
00:18:43,502 --> 00:18:46,245
- my wedding bride?
- Can you let me make you some pancakes?
373
00:18:49,291 --> 00:18:51,212
Can-do's-ville, babydoll.
374
00:19:01,223 --> 00:19:04,297
Daddy! Kiss this!
Kissin' movie's over anyway.
375
00:19:19,606 --> 00:19:21,282
That stuff that happened to me,
376
00:19:22,091 --> 00:19:24,996
it was pretty rough.
I'm still getting over it.
377
00:19:26,075 --> 00:19:27,499
Let me help you with that.
378
00:19:31,075 --> 00:19:32,598
And just like that, kids,
379
00:19:32,723 --> 00:19:35,082
my baggage didn't seem quite
so heavy anymore.
380
00:19:35,785 --> 00:19:38,692
You see, everyone's got some baggage.
It's part of life,
381
00:19:38,949 --> 00:19:41,513
but like anything else,
it's easier when someone
382
00:19:41,681 --> 00:19:43,149
gives you a hand with it.
383
00:19:48,359 --> 00:19:51,356
It feels so good to have told you
all that stuff about me.
384
00:19:51,524 --> 00:19:53,762
I'm really glad
I can open up to you.
385
00:19:54,151 --> 00:19:55,777
Ted, it's not that big of a deal.
386
00:19:57,113 --> 00:19:59,114
Heck, I've been left at the altar.
387
00:20:00,825 --> 00:20:01,783
Three times.
388
00:20:04,286 --> 00:20:07,163
The last time was because
I blew all our money on online poker.
389
00:20:09,598 --> 00:20:11,334
That's why I live
with my brother now.
390
00:20:11,660 --> 00:20:14,921
Wait, I thought you said
you had a tiny studio apartment.
391
00:20:15,832 --> 00:20:18,508
Just the two of us,
you should see how he hogs the covers.
392
00:20:24,177 --> 00:20:25,515
Yeah, you gotta go.
30649
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