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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,500 --> 00:00:04,420 I have good news for the women of Los Angeles. 2 00:00:04,430 --> 00:00:06,209 Dr. Will Stokes... 3 00:00:06,210 --> 00:00:07,690 Back on the market. 4 00:00:09,450 --> 00:00:11,219 I thought I heard rain. 5 00:00:11,220 --> 00:00:14,489 But it must've been the sound of panties dropping. 6 00:00:14,490 --> 00:00:16,129 It's been four months to the day 7 00:00:16,130 --> 00:00:17,429 since I signed my divorce papers, 8 00:00:17,430 --> 00:00:19,229 and I have decided 9 00:00:19,230 --> 00:00:21,029 to dive back in. 10 00:00:21,030 --> 00:00:22,499 - Awesome! - Good for you. - Congratulations. 11 00:00:22,500 --> 00:00:23,569 I feel like I've aged 12 00:00:23,570 --> 00:00:24,639 in my oak barrel long enough. 13 00:00:24,640 --> 00:00:25,769 I think it's time to uncork 14 00:00:25,770 --> 00:00:27,500 this bottle of will. 15 00:00:27,510 --> 00:00:29,509 "Bottle of will." Uh-huh. 16 00:00:29,510 --> 00:00:32,740 When was the last time you asked a woman out on a date? 17 00:00:32,750 --> 00:00:34,809 Uh, 1998. 18 00:00:34,810 --> 00:00:37,849 Okay, well, I don't foresee any problems. 19 00:00:37,850 --> 00:00:41,119 Actually, Kate, we were quite the dating duo in college. 20 00:00:41,120 --> 00:00:43,050 They used to call us Pippen and Jordan. 21 00:00:43,060 --> 00:00:45,459 No, we were more like, uh, Kobe and Shaq. 22 00:00:45,460 --> 00:00:47,520 Yeah, okay, I get it. You were two overgrown men 23 00:00:47,530 --> 00:00:49,590 who liked to play with your balls. 24 00:00:51,400 --> 00:00:52,729 Look, you're gonna need some help, 25 00:00:52,730 --> 00:00:54,099 so we'll go to a bar together. 26 00:00:54,100 --> 00:00:55,299 I'll help you talk to girls. 27 00:00:55,300 --> 00:00:56,469 I don't need your help. 28 00:00:56,470 --> 00:00:58,299 You do, and lucky for you, 29 00:00:58,300 --> 00:00:59,439 I've got some free time. 30 00:00:59,440 --> 00:01:01,469 I'm gonna make you my next project. 31 00:01:01,470 --> 00:01:03,370 Kate, I can meet women on my own. 32 00:01:03,380 --> 00:01:05,539 I'm a 35-year-old single doctor. 33 00:01:05,540 --> 00:01:06,709 I mean, women will-will come to me 34 00:01:06,710 --> 00:01:09,579 like moths to a... doctor. 35 00:01:09,580 --> 00:01:11,149 I think this ends with you crying 36 00:01:11,150 --> 00:01:13,550 in the shower while masturbating. 37 00:01:27,500 --> 00:01:30,230 Okay, pepperoni pizza for everyone. 38 00:01:30,240 --> 00:01:31,469 All right. 39 00:01:31,470 --> 00:01:32,769 Except for Jules and Lowell, 40 00:01:32,770 --> 00:01:34,869 who get meat-free, cheese-free, 41 00:01:34,870 --> 00:01:36,239 fun-free soy lover's pizza. 42 00:01:36,240 --> 00:01:37,970 Ah, thank you. 43 00:01:37,980 --> 00:01:40,740 Why don't you just eat the box? 44 00:01:40,750 --> 00:01:43,680 Well, I'm just gonna grab a drink. 45 00:01:46,120 --> 00:01:48,320 Let me smell your meat. 46 00:01:49,650 --> 00:01:51,619 Jules, please. 47 00:01:51,620 --> 00:01:54,189 My wife is sitting three feet away. 48 00:01:57,300 --> 00:01:58,490 That's me. 49 00:01:58,500 --> 00:02:00,499 Jules, why don't you just have a slice? 50 00:02:00,500 --> 00:02:02,299 Because Lowell and I are vegetarians. 51 00:02:02,300 --> 00:02:04,569 I just like the smell of meat. 52 00:02:04,570 --> 00:02:05,669 Oh, my God... 53 00:02:05,670 --> 00:02:06,739 You weren't a vegetarian 54 00:02:06,740 --> 00:02:08,039 before you met Lowell. 55 00:02:08,040 --> 00:02:09,269 You know, you always do this. 56 00:02:09,270 --> 00:02:10,370 Do what? 57 00:02:10,380 --> 00:02:12,179 Turn into your boyfriend. 58 00:02:12,180 --> 00:02:13,509 Oh, that is ridiculous. 59 00:02:13,510 --> 00:02:15,209 Name one time that I did that. 60 00:02:15,210 --> 00:02:18,650 Uh, when you dated that Canadian and started saying "aboot." 61 00:02:19,750 --> 00:02:20,880 Or when you dated the British guy 62 00:02:20,890 --> 00:02:22,890 - and you started a soccer riot. - Uh-huh. 63 00:02:23,920 --> 00:02:25,419 Or when you dated that pothead and all you did 64 00:02:25,420 --> 00:02:28,920 was eat hot pockets and not follow conversations. 65 00:02:28,930 --> 00:02:31,890 Okay, so-so I'm open to learning new things. 66 00:02:31,900 --> 00:02:34,529 Lowell is turning me on to a healthier lifestyle 67 00:02:34,530 --> 00:02:37,130 - and I like that. - Babe, look, 68 00:02:37,140 --> 00:02:40,269 kombucha for two. 69 00:02:40,270 --> 00:02:42,369 What exactly is kombucha? 70 00:02:42,370 --> 00:02:44,870 Uh, it's just a tea made with a symbiotic culture 71 00:02:44,880 --> 00:02:49,910 of bacteria and yeast that grows a delicious drinkable fungus. 72 00:02:50,880 --> 00:02:53,749 Oh, my God, it started. I can smell everything. 73 00:02:53,750 --> 00:02:54,949 That pizza smells gross. 74 00:02:54,950 --> 00:02:57,519 That diarrhea you're drinking smells gross. 75 00:02:57,520 --> 00:02:59,289 And, Bobby, 76 00:02:59,290 --> 00:03:01,959 you smell really, really gross. 77 00:03:01,960 --> 00:03:03,259 No, he doesn't. 78 00:03:03,260 --> 00:03:05,029 He smells like cinnamon. 79 00:03:05,030 --> 00:03:06,759 Oh, boy. It's back. 80 00:03:06,760 --> 00:03:07,760 What's back? 81 00:03:07,770 --> 00:03:09,229 The super smell phase. 82 00:03:09,230 --> 00:03:10,969 Her pregnancy hormones have kicked in. 83 00:03:10,970 --> 00:03:12,799 Now she can smell everything. 84 00:03:12,800 --> 00:03:16,440 Which one of you dudes went to a strip club today? 85 00:03:17,000 --> 00:03:20,074 Subtitles downloaded from www.OpenSubtitles.org 86 00:03:23,580 --> 00:03:25,950 I like looking at dongs. 87 00:03:37,630 --> 00:03:40,259 I see you're checking out the uniekaas robusto. 88 00:03:40,260 --> 00:03:41,960 What? 89 00:03:41,970 --> 00:03:43,799 It's an aged goat cheese with a nutty flavor. 90 00:03:43,800 --> 00:03:45,699 Pairs nicely with a pinot noir. 91 00:03:45,700 --> 00:03:47,499 Do you work here? 92 00:03:47,500 --> 00:03:49,970 No, I'm just a lover of cheese. 93 00:03:51,040 --> 00:03:52,470 And women. 94 00:03:52,480 --> 00:03:54,210 Can I start over? 95 00:03:56,380 --> 00:03:57,809 - Hi. - Hi. 96 00:03:57,810 --> 00:03:59,679 Allow me to begin by saying I'm a fellow shopper 97 00:03:59,680 --> 00:04:01,219 and a bit of a foodie. 98 00:04:01,220 --> 00:04:03,289 Might I recommend the chabichou? 99 00:04:03,290 --> 00:04:04,950 It's a creamy natural-rind cheese 100 00:04:04,960 --> 00:04:07,089 that pairs beautifully with a chenin blanc. 101 00:04:07,090 --> 00:04:09,089 Why are you telling me this? 102 00:04:09,090 --> 00:04:11,089 I'm a doctor. 103 00:04:11,090 --> 00:04:13,929 Why are you telling me this, doctor? 104 00:04:13,930 --> 00:04:17,330 Why is it so hard to meet people? 105 00:04:18,870 --> 00:04:20,599 Hi, I'm a wealthy doctor. 106 00:04:20,600 --> 00:04:21,739 Well, not-not wealthy. 107 00:04:21,740 --> 00:04:23,369 I mean, comfortable. 108 00:04:23,370 --> 00:04:26,170 Yeah. My wife left me so I'm-I'm staying with some friends, 109 00:04:26,180 --> 00:04:27,979 which is really what I need right now. 110 00:04:27,980 --> 00:04:29,609 You know, I'm... I'm healing. 111 00:04:29,610 --> 00:04:31,349 Bottom line, I am 112 00:04:31,350 --> 00:04:33,819 looking to meet a nice girl in the cheese section. 113 00:04:33,820 --> 00:04:36,149 Sometimes I talk too much when I'm nervous. 114 00:04:36,150 --> 00:04:37,319 Like now. 115 00:04:37,320 --> 00:04:39,450 And now. 116 00:04:39,460 --> 00:04:40,960 And just then. 117 00:04:47,230 --> 00:04:49,660 So I said to my assistant, if you're gonna have a C-section, 118 00:04:49,670 --> 00:04:52,399 have it on the weekend, you know what I mean? 119 00:04:52,400 --> 00:04:54,599 Thank you. 120 00:04:54,600 --> 00:04:56,469 You, uh... you want a bite? 121 00:04:56,470 --> 00:04:57,769 I won't tell anyone. 122 00:04:57,770 --> 00:04:59,609 I really shouldn't. 123 00:04:59,610 --> 00:05:01,609 - Maybe just a little one. - Yeah. 124 00:05:01,610 --> 00:05:03,879 Just... 125 00:05:03,880 --> 00:05:05,150 Yeah. 126 00:05:10,650 --> 00:05:13,850 That is so freakin' good. 127 00:05:13,860 --> 00:05:15,119 Mm-hmm. 128 00:05:15,120 --> 00:05:17,860 - Well, you can have another bite if you w... oh. - Mmm. 129 00:05:48,120 --> 00:05:50,059 I think that burger might be enjoying this 130 00:05:50,060 --> 00:05:51,530 as much as you are. 131 00:05:56,310 --> 00:05:59,050 Maybe more. 132 00:06:08,305 --> 00:06:10,534 Anybody want to order food from Poquito Mas? 133 00:06:10,535 --> 00:06:12,575 Hey, uh, my restaurant's still open. 134 00:06:13,545 --> 00:06:16,644 Anybody want to order food from Poquito Mas? 135 00:06:16,645 --> 00:06:19,144 I'm not hungry because I ate a big giant salad. 136 00:06:19,145 --> 00:06:21,584 Sunflower seeds and garbanzo beans 137 00:06:21,585 --> 00:06:23,414 and super yummy alfalfa sprouts... 138 00:06:23,415 --> 00:06:26,154 You're overcorrecting. Shut it down. 139 00:06:26,155 --> 00:06:27,254 I'm good. 140 00:06:28,455 --> 00:06:30,324 So, uh, Kate, 141 00:06:30,325 --> 00:06:32,324 I was thinking maybe you and I could, uh, 142 00:06:32,325 --> 00:06:33,694 go to a bar this weekend. 143 00:06:33,695 --> 00:06:35,325 You know, just for fun. 144 00:06:35,335 --> 00:06:37,165 Hmm. Interesting. 145 00:06:39,105 --> 00:06:40,134 What? 146 00:06:40,135 --> 00:06:42,504 I thought Dr. Stokes had it covered. 147 00:06:42,505 --> 00:06:44,735 Thought he was gonna uncork himself 148 00:06:44,745 --> 00:06:46,844 all over the ladies of Los Angeles. 149 00:06:46,845 --> 00:06:49,505 That is all... in process. 150 00:06:49,515 --> 00:06:51,744 I just thought, in the meantime, it would be fun to hang 151 00:06:51,745 --> 00:06:53,175 with one of my closest friends. 152 00:06:53,185 --> 00:06:55,145 And, yet, what I'm hearing is, 153 00:06:55,155 --> 00:06:57,154 "Please, please, please help me. 154 00:06:57,155 --> 00:06:59,084 I'm a loser." 155 00:06:59,085 --> 00:07:01,685 All right, look, maybe I could use a wingman, all right? 156 00:07:01,695 --> 00:07:05,124 I mean, Red here used to be my wingman but he's out of the game 157 00:07:05,125 --> 00:07:08,194 and even when he was in the game, he didn't have much game. 158 00:07:08,195 --> 00:07:09,825 What are you talking about? 159 00:07:09,835 --> 00:07:12,295 I used to do my magic tricks for chicks at bars. 160 00:07:12,305 --> 00:07:13,434 They loved it. 161 00:07:13,435 --> 00:07:14,664 What's that behind your ear? 162 00:07:14,665 --> 00:07:17,075 Oh, it's my phone number. 163 00:07:19,775 --> 00:07:20,974 Wow. 164 00:07:20,975 --> 00:07:23,144 And you're married. 165 00:07:23,145 --> 00:07:24,444 Okay, you know what? 166 00:07:24,445 --> 00:07:27,684 Congratulations... you're officially my project. 167 00:07:27,685 --> 00:07:29,884 Never wear that shirt again. 168 00:07:29,885 --> 00:07:32,554 This shirt is very this season. 169 00:07:32,555 --> 00:07:35,485 You look like the end of a roll of scotch tape. 170 00:07:38,825 --> 00:07:40,964 Okay, I smell bacon. 171 00:07:40,965 --> 00:07:42,625 And not just bacon 172 00:07:42,635 --> 00:07:44,634 but a bacon cheeseburger, 173 00:07:44,635 --> 00:07:46,035 possibly a double. 174 00:07:47,565 --> 00:07:49,204 Ugh! Which one of you 175 00:07:49,205 --> 00:07:51,474 had a big, gross bacon cheeseburger? 176 00:07:53,245 --> 00:07:55,005 Okay, one of you did. 177 00:07:59,145 --> 00:08:01,585 Oh, no. I was wrong. 178 00:08:03,855 --> 00:08:06,085 No burger here. 179 00:08:07,385 --> 00:08:10,224 It couldn't have been Jules. Uh, she's a vegetarian. 180 00:08:10,225 --> 00:08:13,224 Right, Jules? 181 00:08:13,225 --> 00:08:14,624 Okay, it was me! 182 00:08:14,625 --> 00:08:16,225 I ate a burger. 183 00:08:16,235 --> 00:08:17,864 With bacon. 184 00:08:17,865 --> 00:08:19,665 And I loved it. 185 00:08:22,265 --> 00:08:25,474 All right, I don't want to make a scene... 186 00:08:25,475 --> 00:08:29,045 But my world has just been rocked. 187 00:08:30,275 --> 00:08:32,214 I am sorry. 188 00:08:32,215 --> 00:08:33,444 I love meat. 189 00:08:33,445 --> 00:08:35,685 I love it so freakin' hard. 190 00:08:37,155 --> 00:08:39,085 It's not that you ate the meat. 191 00:08:40,285 --> 00:08:42,054 It's that you lied. 192 00:08:42,055 --> 00:08:45,454 You're right. I'm really sorry. 193 00:08:45,455 --> 00:08:49,094 I receive that. 194 00:08:50,435 --> 00:08:52,364 Okay. 195 00:08:52,365 --> 00:08:54,604 From now on, let's just be 196 00:08:54,605 --> 00:08:56,665 completely honest with each other. 197 00:08:56,675 --> 00:08:58,074 Absolutely. 198 00:08:58,075 --> 00:08:59,335 Oh, it's our first fight. 199 00:08:59,345 --> 00:09:01,004 I know. It was touch and go there for a while, 200 00:09:01,005 --> 00:09:03,945 but we made it through, baby. 201 00:09:05,875 --> 00:09:07,014 Bobby. 202 00:09:07,015 --> 00:09:10,414 - Bobby, come here. - What's up? 203 00:09:10,415 --> 00:09:13,615 I have entered a new phase. 204 00:09:13,625 --> 00:09:14,654 What is it? 205 00:09:14,655 --> 00:09:16,785 The super horny... 206 00:09:16,795 --> 00:09:19,655 "I want you to do me right now" phase. 207 00:09:19,665 --> 00:09:21,664 That is new. 208 00:09:21,665 --> 00:09:22,994 I like it. 209 00:09:22,995 --> 00:09:25,264 So, get rid of everyone, 210 00:09:25,265 --> 00:09:27,234 meet me upstairs, I'll get started? 211 00:09:27,235 --> 00:09:28,804 Yeah, but how you gonna get started with... 212 00:09:28,805 --> 00:09:29,904 Oh... 213 00:09:29,905 --> 00:09:31,504 Yes. 214 00:09:31,505 --> 00:09:33,035 Okay. 215 00:09:33,045 --> 00:09:34,435 Everyone get the hell out. 216 00:09:34,445 --> 00:09:36,104 Now. 217 00:09:36,105 --> 00:09:37,617 Let's go. 218 00:09:42,347 --> 00:09:44,955 Okay, a woman decides if she wants to sleep with you 219 00:09:45,155 --> 00:09:46,584 in the first five seconds. 220 00:09:46,585 --> 00:09:48,524 Whatever you say in that first moment clinches the deal. 221 00:09:48,525 --> 00:09:50,185 I'll lead, you follow. 222 00:09:50,195 --> 00:09:51,654 See her? 223 00:09:51,655 --> 00:09:53,855 Catch her beer. 224 00:09:54,925 --> 00:09:56,424 Oh, my gosh. 225 00:09:56,425 --> 00:09:58,034 Thanks. 226 00:09:58,035 --> 00:09:59,085 Thank you. 227 00:09:59,095 --> 00:10:00,125 For what? 228 00:10:00,135 --> 00:10:03,365 For... 229 00:10:03,375 --> 00:10:06,805 Uh, being alone in a bar. 230 00:10:08,275 --> 00:10:10,745 Have you ever been married? I've been married. 231 00:10:11,615 --> 00:10:14,435 Um, I'm gonna go find my friends. 232 00:10:14,445 --> 00:10:15,705 I thought you were alone. 233 00:10:15,715 --> 00:10:17,915 I am. 234 00:10:19,215 --> 00:10:23,485 Wow. That was like watching a gazelle eat a lion. 235 00:10:23,495 --> 00:10:25,145 Don't blame me, okay? You freaked me out 236 00:10:25,155 --> 00:10:27,115 with the whole first five seconds thing. 237 00:10:27,125 --> 00:10:29,015 Okay, okay, I'll start the conversation this time. 238 00:10:29,025 --> 00:10:30,925 Let's try again with fake boobs 239 00:10:30,935 --> 00:10:32,885 over here, okay? Hopefully, 240 00:10:32,895 --> 00:10:35,735 her low self-esteem will cloud her judgment. 241 00:10:36,605 --> 00:10:38,295 Hey, love your shoes. 242 00:10:38,305 --> 00:10:39,525 Oh, thanks! 243 00:10:39,535 --> 00:10:40,895 This is my friend, Will. 244 00:10:40,905 --> 00:10:42,365 He's a doctor. 245 00:10:42,375 --> 00:10:44,165 Really? That's cool. 246 00:10:44,175 --> 00:10:46,045 It is cool. 247 00:10:47,175 --> 00:10:50,375 Uh, this one time in med school, my, uh, my buddies and I... 248 00:10:50,385 --> 00:10:51,945 we took a liver from a cadaver, 249 00:10:51,955 --> 00:10:54,045 and we... and we threw it off the roof. 250 00:10:54,055 --> 00:10:55,375 It was... 251 00:10:55,385 --> 00:10:57,345 That's disgusting. 252 00:10:59,125 --> 00:11:01,215 How can I be so bad at this? 253 00:11:01,225 --> 00:11:03,255 Uh, well, you got married young, 254 00:11:03,265 --> 00:11:05,125 you never really dated as an adult, 255 00:11:05,135 --> 00:11:07,155 and I've seen your high school yearbook. 256 00:11:07,165 --> 00:11:09,355 Nobody was touching you then. 257 00:11:09,365 --> 00:11:11,195 Kate, I'm all up in my head! 258 00:11:11,205 --> 00:11:12,395 Okay, new strategy. 259 00:11:12,405 --> 00:11:14,265 You say as little as possible, 260 00:11:14,275 --> 00:11:15,365 I'll get you laid. 261 00:11:15,375 --> 00:11:17,235 I like it. That-that makes a lot of... 262 00:11:17,245 --> 00:11:19,205 Too much. 263 00:11:21,515 --> 00:11:24,545 Hi. I'm Kate. 264 00:11:24,555 --> 00:11:26,514 You're obviously the hottest girl in here, 265 00:11:26,515 --> 00:11:29,015 and my friend Will is pretty much the cutest guy, 266 00:11:29,025 --> 00:11:30,724 so I figured I'd introduce you two. 267 00:11:30,725 --> 00:11:31,785 I'm Jess. 268 00:11:31,795 --> 00:11:33,995 Speak. Speak now. 269 00:11:34,795 --> 00:11:37,164 I am Will. 270 00:11:37,165 --> 00:11:39,264 I hail from... 271 00:11:39,265 --> 00:11:41,264 Three beers. Go. 272 00:11:42,665 --> 00:11:46,134 He's a man of few words, but check out that ass. 273 00:11:46,135 --> 00:11:49,235 It's like those butt cheeks are storing nuts for the winter. 274 00:11:51,245 --> 00:11:53,144 You didn't have to sell me on him. 275 00:11:53,145 --> 00:11:55,114 I knew in the first five seconds. 276 00:11:55,115 --> 00:11:56,344 I like you. 277 00:11:56,345 --> 00:11:57,745 You remind me of myself. 278 00:11:57,755 --> 00:11:59,784 Except you have those amazing eyes. 279 00:11:59,785 --> 00:12:02,085 You suddenly seem smarter to me. 280 00:12:03,625 --> 00:12:05,854 Okay, I'm going to go to the ladies room. 281 00:12:05,855 --> 00:12:07,824 Man... of... few... words. 282 00:12:07,825 --> 00:12:11,825 So... 283 00:12:11,835 --> 00:12:14,534 So... 284 00:12:14,535 --> 00:12:16,634 You're shy. 285 00:12:16,635 --> 00:12:19,704 Shy. 286 00:12:19,705 --> 00:12:21,374 That's sweet. 287 00:12:21,375 --> 00:12:23,975 And your friend's great, stepping up for you like that. 288 00:12:24,845 --> 00:12:27,074 Friend. 289 00:12:27,075 --> 00:12:30,244 This might be the tequila talking, 290 00:12:30,245 --> 00:12:32,485 but should we just get out of here? 291 00:12:35,655 --> 00:12:37,954 Great. Get your friend. 292 00:12:37,955 --> 00:12:39,785 Uh... why? 293 00:12:39,795 --> 00:12:42,224 Because I'm into both of you. 294 00:12:42,225 --> 00:12:43,594 Pardon? 295 00:12:43,595 --> 00:12:46,064 I want to have sex with both of you. 296 00:12:48,865 --> 00:12:51,535 Yeah, I don't... I don't think that's gonna... 297 00:12:56,345 --> 00:12:58,544 Okay, then, the three of us. 298 00:12:58,545 --> 00:13:00,375 Sounds good. Sounds like a plan. 299 00:13:10,488 --> 00:13:10,998 Hi. 300 00:13:11,008 --> 00:13:12,238 Whoa. Oh, my God. 301 00:13:12,248 --> 00:13:13,868 How did you strike out again? 302 00:13:13,878 --> 00:13:15,338 I set you up perfectly. 303 00:13:15,348 --> 00:13:17,738 What, do I need to take her clothes off for you, too? 304 00:13:17,748 --> 00:13:20,448 Uh, I didn't strike out, actually. 305 00:13:20,458 --> 00:13:22,178 She wants me to go home with her. 306 00:13:22,188 --> 00:13:24,478 Oh, great. Good-bye. Uncork. 307 00:13:24,488 --> 00:13:26,318 Uh, uh, no, no, not... 308 00:13:26,328 --> 00:13:28,518 Not-not good-bye, uh, because... 309 00:13:28,528 --> 00:13:30,418 Because you drove me here. 310 00:13:30,428 --> 00:13:33,588 And we can't let Jess drive because she's already had a few. 311 00:13:33,598 --> 00:13:36,728 And I'm pretty sure she wants to have two more. 312 00:13:36,738 --> 00:13:39,158 Oh. 313 00:13:39,168 --> 00:13:41,698 Fine. I am such a good friend. 314 00:13:41,708 --> 00:13:43,538 It's like there's nothing I won't do. 315 00:13:46,348 --> 00:13:48,418 That's what I'm hoping. 316 00:13:56,058 --> 00:13:58,078 Oh, my God. 317 00:13:58,088 --> 00:13:59,988 That was amazing. 318 00:13:59,998 --> 00:14:02,518 I feel like I could sleep for 12 hours. 319 00:14:02,528 --> 00:14:04,288 What do you mean, go to sleep? 320 00:14:04,298 --> 00:14:06,258 I want to do it again. 321 00:14:06,268 --> 00:14:08,988 But didn't you just have a massive...? 322 00:14:08,998 --> 00:14:12,898 Yeah! Why would I want to stop? 323 00:14:12,908 --> 00:14:14,328 Well, honey, it's just, 324 00:14:14,338 --> 00:14:17,898 it's been a couple of nights of this marathon sex, and I, uh... 325 00:14:17,908 --> 00:14:21,308 I need a breather. 326 00:14:21,318 --> 00:14:23,478 Or an ice pack. 327 00:14:24,518 --> 00:14:27,848 You'll stop when I tell you to stop. 328 00:14:32,558 --> 00:14:36,588 I know you're a man of few words, but don't worry. 329 00:14:36,598 --> 00:14:39,928 Tonight, you won't be using your mouth for talking. 330 00:14:40,898 --> 00:14:44,538 That makes me want to raise my eyebrow like this. 331 00:14:45,868 --> 00:14:48,398 Thanks for letting me use your bathroom. 332 00:14:48,408 --> 00:14:49,768 Stay. 333 00:14:49,778 --> 00:14:51,768 What? Why? 334 00:14:55,118 --> 00:14:58,138 Look, the truth is, on my own, I struck out non-stop. 335 00:14:58,148 --> 00:15:00,178 Okay, clearly, you're my good luck charm. 336 00:15:00,188 --> 00:15:01,448 My rabbit's foot. 337 00:15:01,458 --> 00:15:04,148 And I honestly think for this to happen, 338 00:15:04,158 --> 00:15:06,658 we're gonna have to rub your fur a little bit. 339 00:15:08,198 --> 00:15:09,948 Please? 340 00:15:09,958 --> 00:15:13,118 Well, I don't like leaving projects unfinished. 341 00:15:13,128 --> 00:15:14,988 Great! I'm gonna go get some wine. 342 00:15:14,998 --> 00:15:17,228 Hey. 343 00:15:17,238 --> 00:15:21,298 Hey. So, um, just so you know, Will's a little nervous. 344 00:15:21,308 --> 00:15:22,828 So I hope you don't think it's too forward, 345 00:15:22,838 --> 00:15:24,438 but I think you should make the first move. 346 00:15:24,448 --> 00:15:25,898 My pleasure. 347 00:15:25,908 --> 00:15:28,148 Great. So, just make it happen... 348 00:15:35,618 --> 00:15:38,548 Be right back. 349 00:15:38,558 --> 00:15:40,018 We have a problem. 350 00:15:40,028 --> 00:15:41,818 Turns out, I am too good at this. 351 00:15:41,828 --> 00:15:43,988 She doesn't want you, she wants me! 352 00:15:43,998 --> 00:15:45,818 She just kissed me! 353 00:15:45,828 --> 00:15:48,158 Yeah, about that. 354 00:15:48,168 --> 00:15:50,388 Uh, she's looking for a two-fer. 355 00:15:50,398 --> 00:15:54,068 I don't... 356 00:15:54,078 --> 00:15:55,928 And you knew?! That's the whole reason 357 00:15:55,938 --> 00:15:58,068 you got me to come back here, isn't it?! 358 00:15:58,078 --> 00:16:00,738 Come on, Kate, I'm asking you for one little favor. 359 00:16:00,748 --> 00:16:04,038 Remember the time I drove you to the airport? 360 00:16:04,048 --> 00:16:07,108 How is this the same? 361 00:16:07,118 --> 00:16:09,148 It was rush hour. 362 00:16:10,988 --> 00:16:12,918 You can not seriously expect me to do this. 363 00:16:12,928 --> 00:16:15,318 I'm just asking you to play along for a little bit. 364 00:16:15,328 --> 00:16:18,388 A little ear nibbling, a little under-the-shirt, over-the-bra. 365 00:16:18,398 --> 00:16:20,198 PG-13. 366 00:16:21,328 --> 00:16:23,288 And then, you go to the bathroom or whatever, 367 00:16:23,298 --> 00:16:25,698 and then, 20 minutes, I'm done, dressed and ready to go. 368 00:16:25,708 --> 00:16:28,568 What a lucky girl. 369 00:16:28,578 --> 00:16:31,038 Forget it. 370 00:16:31,048 --> 00:16:33,578 I've only ever slept with Val! 371 00:16:34,778 --> 00:16:36,538 What?! 372 00:16:36,548 --> 00:16:40,608 I've only slept with one person my entire life, okay? 373 00:16:40,618 --> 00:16:44,978 How is that even possible? 374 00:16:44,988 --> 00:16:46,918 We met when I was 19. 375 00:16:46,928 --> 00:16:49,818 Got engaged at 21, and got divorced four months ago. 376 00:16:49,828 --> 00:16:52,718 Oh, my God, yes, this is all starting to make sense. 377 00:16:52,728 --> 00:16:54,218 The-the lack of game, 378 00:16:54,228 --> 00:16:57,588 the pathetic blend of awkwardness and urgency. 379 00:16:57,598 --> 00:17:00,208 You're an almost-virgin. 380 00:17:02,038 --> 00:17:04,098 I am. 381 00:17:04,108 --> 00:17:05,368 Okay, I am that. 382 00:17:05,378 --> 00:17:09,648 So, please, help little Will make a second friend. 383 00:17:12,988 --> 00:17:15,708 Fine. I'll do it. 384 00:17:15,718 --> 00:17:17,448 - You will?! - I can't believe 385 00:17:17,458 --> 00:17:18,718 I'm saying this, but yes. 386 00:17:18,728 --> 00:17:20,118 It's an important step for you. 387 00:17:20,128 --> 00:17:22,718 And, you know, it can't be any worse than that time 388 00:17:22,728 --> 00:17:24,888 I accidentally had sex with my cousin. 389 00:17:24,898 --> 00:17:27,318 Awesome! That's the attitude I'm looking for! 390 00:17:27,328 --> 00:17:29,088 But my clothes stay on. 391 00:17:29,098 --> 00:17:31,658 Also, I'm upstairs, you're downstairs, 392 00:17:31,668 --> 00:17:34,128 and never the twain shall meet. 393 00:17:34,138 --> 00:17:36,698 She's not gonna be focusing on you anyway. 394 00:17:36,708 --> 00:17:38,298 What? Why? 395 00:17:38,308 --> 00:17:39,438 'Cause, obviously, 396 00:17:39,448 --> 00:17:40,638 you're the appetizer, I'm the entree. 397 00:17:40,648 --> 00:17:42,838 Okay. 398 00:17:42,848 --> 00:17:44,838 The appetizer. 399 00:17:44,848 --> 00:17:47,178 Oh... 400 00:17:47,188 --> 00:17:50,548 Oh, my God, I'm having a real orgasm. 401 00:17:50,558 --> 00:17:53,148 Wow! 402 00:17:53,158 --> 00:17:55,588 Good night. 403 00:17:55,598 --> 00:17:58,058 You just faked an orgasm. 404 00:17:58,928 --> 00:18:00,958 What? Yeah. 405 00:18:00,968 --> 00:18:03,228 Those are the sounds of my passion. 406 00:18:03,238 --> 00:18:06,298 And I am hurt and offended that you would mock them. 407 00:18:06,308 --> 00:18:08,058 I've been with you for ten years. 408 00:18:08,068 --> 00:18:09,998 I've never once heard you make that noise. 409 00:18:10,008 --> 00:18:12,338 What kind of a man fakes an orgasm? 410 00:18:12,348 --> 00:18:14,708 A man who's tired. 411 00:18:16,078 --> 00:18:18,248 Who's been wrung dry. 412 00:18:19,318 --> 00:18:21,438 I just can't do it anymore. 413 00:18:21,448 --> 00:18:23,878 Oh. It's okay, I get it. 414 00:18:23,888 --> 00:18:28,378 I'm not, you know, that appealing in my current state. 415 00:18:28,388 --> 00:18:30,088 What are you talking about? 416 00:18:30,098 --> 00:18:32,418 I understand why you wouldn't want to have sex with me. 417 00:18:32,428 --> 00:18:34,458 I'm like a big, giant pregnant woman. 418 00:18:34,468 --> 00:18:37,028 One of my boobs is bigger than your head. 419 00:18:37,038 --> 00:18:40,028 Honey, you are absolutely gorgeous. 420 00:18:40,038 --> 00:18:41,498 No, I'm not. I'm huge. 421 00:18:41,508 --> 00:18:44,408 I look like a sea lion with lipstick. 422 00:18:45,208 --> 00:18:48,338 Andi, every time you smile at me, 423 00:18:48,348 --> 00:18:51,438 I have to pinch myself that you chose me. 424 00:18:51,448 --> 00:18:54,338 - Really? - Yes. 425 00:18:54,348 --> 00:18:57,378 I just can't have sex a million times in three days. 426 00:18:57,388 --> 00:19:00,248 I literally have nothing left. 427 00:19:00,258 --> 00:19:04,328 I tried to cry in the middle, and no tears came out. 428 00:19:06,228 --> 00:19:10,588 Do you want to maybe... I don't know... cuddle or something? 429 00:19:10,598 --> 00:19:12,388 Nothing would make me happier. 430 00:19:12,398 --> 00:19:14,738 Okay. 431 00:19:22,178 --> 00:19:25,148 You know what? I'm gonna go sit on the dryer. 432 00:19:30,758 --> 00:19:34,728 Excuse me. 433 00:19:35,488 --> 00:19:37,048 Can I ask you a question? 434 00:19:37,058 --> 00:19:40,688 Which one of us were you attracted to initially? 435 00:19:40,698 --> 00:19:43,388 Like, if we were a meal, 436 00:19:43,398 --> 00:19:46,438 which one of us would you eat first? 437 00:19:47,308 --> 00:19:49,458 I don't know. 438 00:19:49,468 --> 00:19:53,338 There is something about the sensual softness of a woman. 439 00:19:53,348 --> 00:19:55,338 Oh. Okay. 440 00:19:55,348 --> 00:19:57,648 Ha, ha. 441 00:20:00,918 --> 00:20:02,908 Excuse me? Excuse me? 442 00:20:02,918 --> 00:20:05,008 Yeah, uh, softness is-is one thing, 443 00:20:05,018 --> 00:20:06,718 but-but feel these abs, huh? 444 00:20:06,728 --> 00:20:09,048 How'd you like to crack open this six pack? 445 00:20:09,058 --> 00:20:11,518 I have great boobs. 446 00:20:11,528 --> 00:20:13,688 - I have an ass of steel. - I'm bendy. 447 00:20:13,698 --> 00:20:15,358 I will do some seriously messed-up stuff. 448 00:20:15,368 --> 00:20:16,988 I have no self-respect. 449 00:20:16,998 --> 00:20:19,758 I have the penis. Touchdown! 450 00:20:19,768 --> 00:20:21,658 Wow. 451 00:20:21,668 --> 00:20:25,298 The sexual tension between you guys is amazing. 452 00:20:25,308 --> 00:20:28,078 I'd really like to see you two kiss. 453 00:20:30,878 --> 00:20:32,918 - Yeah, we're out. - That just ruined it. 454 00:20:38,578 --> 00:20:40,408 Okay. 455 00:20:40,418 --> 00:20:42,408 I've had 24 hours. 456 00:20:42,418 --> 00:20:44,978 I'm replenished, refreshed and ready to go. 457 00:20:44,988 --> 00:20:46,878 I don't think that's gonna happen. 458 00:20:46,888 --> 00:20:49,248 I've, uh... I've entered a new... 459 00:20:51,698 --> 00:20:53,848 phase. 460 00:20:53,858 --> 00:20:55,958 But the fact that you still want me... 461 00:20:55,968 --> 00:20:58,798 it makes me feel very good about myself. 462 00:21:00,498 --> 00:21:02,028 I love you. 463 00:21:02,038 --> 00:21:03,497 - I'm gonna fart. - Okay. 464 00:21:14,428 --> 00:21:17,496 Best watched using Open Subtitles MKV Player 465 00:21:17,546 --> 00:21:22,096 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 31960

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