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1
00:00:37,800 --> 00:00:39,119
For someone who doesn't stop
2
00:00:39,119 --> 00:00:42,198
going on about Formula One,
you're surprisingly shit at driving.
3
00:00:42,197 --> 00:00:43,196
Ha-ha!
4
00:00:43,196 --> 00:00:44,995
Seriously,
like no control of the vehicle.
5
00:00:44,995 --> 00:00:47,074
No control of the vehicle?
6
00:00:48,552 --> 00:00:50,551
Why does it keep doing that?
7
00:00:50,550 --> 00:00:51,549
No control of the vehicle.
8
00:00:51,550 --> 00:00:52,589
Well, you can drive next time!
9
00:00:52,589 --> 00:00:54,548
Fine, and you can
learn from the master.
10
00:00:54,547 --> 00:00:56,266
Master knob face.
11
00:00:56,266 --> 00:01:00,145
Why's the door open?
12
00:01:00,143 --> 00:01:01,542
Um...
13
00:01:06,858 --> 00:01:07,857
Ooh, hello!
14
00:01:07,857 --> 00:01:10,096
Er, hi, Jim...
15
00:01:10,096 --> 00:01:11,375
Jonny!
16
00:01:11,375 --> 00:01:12,294
I'm Adam.
17
00:01:12,294 --> 00:01:13,093
I'm Jonny.
18
00:01:13,093 --> 00:01:14,892
Oh, yes.
19
00:01:15,091 --> 00:01:16,011
Who are you?
20
00:01:16,011 --> 00:01:17,850
Hmm?
21
00:01:17,850 --> 00:01:21,849
Nothing.
22
00:01:23,845 --> 00:01:25,604
Good boy, good boy, Wilson.
23
00:01:25,604 --> 00:01:27,763
Bye.
24
00:01:27,762 --> 00:01:29,201
Night.
25
00:01:29,201 --> 00:01:30,080
Wilson!
26
00:01:30,080 --> 00:01:32,639
That wasn't strange!
27
00:01:32,638 --> 00:01:34,117
Hi, Mum.
28
00:01:34,117 --> 00:01:35,156
Hi, boys.
29
00:01:35,157 --> 00:01:36,356
What are you doing in the garage?
30
00:01:36,356 --> 00:01:38,115
We're having a clearout.
31
00:01:38,114 --> 00:01:39,833
Don't you mean what's
Jim doing in our loo?
32
00:01:39,833 --> 00:01:43,032
Martin, you do know the
boys are here? Say hello.
33
00:01:43,031 --> 00:01:44,790
What? Oh, hello, bambinos.
34
00:01:44,789 --> 00:01:45,668
No top tonight?
35
00:01:45,669 --> 00:01:46,708
He's boiling.
36
00:01:46,708 --> 00:01:46,867
I'm boiling.
37
00:01:46,868 --> 00:01:49,267
And Jim's using our
toilet because..?
38
00:01:49,266 --> 00:01:51,385
Oh, his is broken.
39
00:01:51,384 --> 00:01:52,383
Broken?
40
00:01:52,384 --> 00:01:53,423
He broke it... No, there!
41
00:01:53,423 --> 00:01:55,622
He broke his own toilet?
How did he do that?
42
00:01:55,621 --> 00:01:59,020
How do I know? Anyway, he asked if
he could use ours, what could I say?
43
00:01:59,018 --> 00:02:00,177
No?
44
00:02:00,178 --> 00:02:01,377
Use a bucket?
45
00:02:01,377 --> 00:02:02,416
This as well?
46
00:02:02,416 --> 00:02:05,455
Yes, all of them, and then
you're doing the sofabed.
47
00:02:05,454 --> 00:02:09,453
Your mother wants me to chuck away all my old
copies of New Scientist magazine, can you believe it?
48
00:02:09,610 --> 00:02:10,649
Yes?
49
00:02:10,650 --> 00:02:11,489
Thank you, Adam!
50
00:02:11,489 --> 00:02:13,088
What do you mean, yes?
51
00:02:13,088 --> 00:02:15,167
You don't even read them,
why do you keep all this crap?
52
00:02:15,166 --> 00:02:17,685
It's not crap!
I wish you'd stop calling it crap.
53
00:02:17,684 --> 00:02:20,283
They're collectibles.
54
00:02:20,282 --> 00:02:21,521
Are they?
55
00:02:21,521 --> 00:02:25,520
Boys, look, this one
is from 1969 and
56
00:02:26,158 --> 00:02:28,597
there's a poster of Isaac Newton.
57
00:02:28,596 --> 00:02:30,835
Now he was a genius.
58
00:02:30,834 --> 00:02:34,393
Sorry, I'm not discussing Isaac
Newton again. Tomorrow morning,
59
00:02:34,392 --> 00:02:37,031
you are taking them all to the dump.
Impossible!
60
00:02:37,030 --> 00:02:38,349
Newton.
61
00:02:38,349 --> 00:02:40,068
Crap. Crap.
62
00:02:40,067 --> 00:02:43,946
OK, done the potatoes,
overcooked the bloody meat.
63
00:02:43,944 --> 00:02:47,943
Oh! Oh, er, Martin, did
you do the, er, sofabed?
64
00:02:48,301 --> 00:02:50,340
What? No, I'll do it later.
65
00:02:50,340 --> 00:02:51,259
Oh, well, I wanted it ready.
66
00:02:51,259 --> 00:02:53,498
The man's not coming till tomorrow.
67
00:02:53,497 --> 00:02:54,376
What man?
68
00:02:54,377 --> 00:02:55,376
Oh, the sofabed man.
69
00:02:55,376 --> 00:02:59,375
Martin, can you not eat out
of the bin, I've told you!
70
00:02:59,453 --> 00:03:00,972
Dad!
71
00:03:00,972 --> 00:03:03,491
Oh, vegetables.
Shit, what's the time?
72
00:03:03,490 --> 00:03:05,369
Er, 20 past.
73
00:03:05,368 --> 00:03:06,807
Right, out of the way please!
74
00:03:06,807 --> 00:03:08,686
Your mum is very excited.
75
00:03:08,686 --> 00:03:10,685
About what?
It's the final of Masterchef.
76
00:03:10,684 --> 00:03:12,083
It's the final of Masterchef.
77
00:03:12,083 --> 00:03:15,282
Oh, there is such a smashing
Greek bloke in the final.
78
00:03:15,281 --> 00:03:16,440
Really?
79
00:03:16,440 --> 00:03:19,959
Me and Val love him.
Oh, he's got such a terrific bum!
80
00:03:19,957 --> 00:03:23,036
Mum! She's not talking about that
Greek fella's arse again, is she?
81
00:03:23,035 --> 00:03:25,954
So exciting! You'll watch
Masterchef with me, won't you?
82
00:03:25,953 --> 00:03:27,272
What? No!
83
00:03:27,272 --> 00:03:28,431
Please?
84
00:03:28,431 --> 00:03:29,510
No! No way!
85
00:03:29,510 --> 00:03:31,669
What do you mean no way?
It's the final!
86
00:03:31,668 --> 00:03:33,147
Of people cooking. And then eating.
87
00:03:33,147 --> 00:03:35,746
Oh, please, for me?
88
00:03:35,745 --> 00:03:38,264
I only see you once a week.
89
00:03:38,263 --> 00:03:40,022
No!
90
00:03:40,022 --> 00:03:41,501
Martin, speak to the boys!
91
00:03:41,501 --> 00:03:42,540
What about?
92
00:03:42,540 --> 00:03:43,739
Masterchef.
93
00:03:43,739 --> 00:03:46,098
Oh, Masterchef.
Um, well, it's a cookery programme
94
00:03:46,097 --> 00:03:49,536
on BBC, it's like a big competition.
95
00:03:49,535 --> 00:03:52,174
Not generally, tell them!
96
00:03:52,173 --> 00:03:53,852
Hmm? About them watching it!
97
00:03:53,852 --> 00:03:55,411
Oh, right.
Your mum wants you to watch it.
98
00:03:55,410 --> 00:03:57,209
We know. Will you?
99
00:03:57,209 --> 00:03:59,568
No! I tried.
100
00:03:59,567 --> 00:04:00,806
I wish I'd had girls.
101
00:04:00,806 --> 00:04:02,765
Ooh, excuse me.
102
00:04:02,765 --> 00:04:06,484
Come on, pigs.
103
00:04:06,482 --> 00:04:08,161
Adam? Here...
104
00:04:08,161 --> 00:04:09,280
What? Quickly.
105
00:04:09,280 --> 00:04:10,359
Really?
106
00:04:10,359 --> 00:04:14,358
Yes, really!
107
00:04:16,594 --> 00:04:18,073
Aren't you freezing?
108
00:04:18,073 --> 00:04:19,752
Now, Adam, I need to speak to you.
109
00:04:19,752 --> 00:04:21,991
This better not be about what
I think it's going to be about.
110
00:04:21,990 --> 00:04:24,109
What? You know.
111
00:04:24,109 --> 00:04:26,428
No? What you always talk to me
about?
112
00:04:26,427 --> 00:04:30,426
The economy?
113
00:04:30,704 --> 00:04:32,303
No, the F word.
114
00:04:32,302 --> 00:04:33,261
Females?
115
00:04:33,262 --> 00:04:35,661
Yes, females.
116
00:04:35,660 --> 00:04:37,499
Oh. Well, is it?
117
00:04:37,498 --> 00:04:40,657
No no, it's, um...
Well, don't tell my wife but, er...
118
00:04:40,656 --> 00:04:43,215
Your wife? Sorry, your mother.
119
00:04:43,214 --> 00:04:45,653
Look, I ordered some things
off the internet and I had
120
00:04:45,652 --> 00:04:48,051
to get them sent round
to your place.
121
00:04:48,050 --> 00:04:50,169
What? Why?
122
00:04:50,169 --> 00:04:54,168
50 back copies of New Scientist
magazine? Jesus, you're buying more?
123
00:04:54,725 --> 00:04:58,604
Shh! They're all from 1965, I'm
missing that year, it's the set.
124
00:04:58,602 --> 00:05:00,561
Why are you buying more when
you're taking the rest to the dump?
125
00:05:00,561 --> 00:05:02,440
If I take the rest to the dump!
126
00:05:02,440 --> 00:05:03,959
What? Hmm?
127
00:05:03,958 --> 00:05:07,957
Dad, you do know Mum will go mental?
128
00:05:08,035 --> 00:05:09,594
Why are you both outside?
129
00:05:09,594 --> 00:05:10,913
Sorry?
130
00:05:10,913 --> 00:05:13,552
Your soup's just sitting there.
What's that?
131
00:05:13,551 --> 00:05:16,590
Nothing. Er, it's nothing,
Jackie, just, um...
132
00:05:16,589 --> 00:05:17,748
Females.
133
00:05:17,748 --> 00:05:21,747
Oh, females. Well, hurry up,
will you? Aren't you freezing?
134
00:05:22,145 --> 00:05:23,664
I told you, I'm boiling!
135
00:05:23,663 --> 00:05:27,662
Oh.
136
00:05:29,259 --> 00:05:31,578
So you'll look after the stuff
for me?
137
00:05:31,577 --> 00:05:32,576
All right, God!
138
00:05:32,577 --> 00:05:33,576
So are there any?
139
00:05:33,576 --> 00:05:34,975
What, females?
140
00:05:34,975 --> 00:05:35,974
Yes!
141
00:05:35,974 --> 00:05:37,133
No!
142
00:05:37,133 --> 00:05:41,132
My son the monk!
143
00:05:41,810 --> 00:05:44,249
Well!
144
00:05:44,248 --> 00:05:47,127
You know what, Jackie? What?
145
00:05:47,126 --> 00:05:49,885
This is a lovely bit of squirrel!
146
00:05:54,880 --> 00:05:56,639
I'll get it!
147
00:05:56,639 --> 00:05:59,398
Sit down!
It'll only be Val about Masterchef.
148
00:05:59,396 --> 00:06:01,875
Johnny?
149
00:06:01,875 --> 00:06:03,354
What?
150
00:06:03,353 --> 00:06:05,232
Listen, you know those, er,
boxes I'm taking to the dump?
151
00:06:05,232 --> 00:06:06,151
Full of all that old crap?
152
00:06:06,151 --> 00:06:08,230
It's not crap!
153
00:06:08,230 --> 00:06:10,629
I need you to take them later
and put them in your car.
154
00:06:10,628 --> 00:06:13,227
Why do I have to take them to
the dump, why can't Pusface?
155
00:06:13,226 --> 00:06:15,105
Because Pusface here has
already been given a job.
156
00:06:15,105 --> 00:06:17,504
Shut up, Adam! Jonny,
all I want you to do is take them
157
00:06:17,503 --> 00:06:19,822
home and look after them for me.
158
00:06:19,821 --> 00:06:21,260
And you're buying more? Jesus, Dad!
159
00:06:21,260 --> 00:06:21,859
Shhh!
160
00:06:21,859 --> 00:06:23,218
She is so funny!
161
00:06:23,218 --> 00:06:26,417
Mmm, lovely
bread, Jackie, did you make it?
162
00:06:26,416 --> 00:06:28,295
What?
I've never made bread in my life!
163
00:06:28,295 --> 00:06:31,294
OK, what's going...
164
00:06:31,292 --> 00:06:32,331
How's Aunty Val?
165
00:06:32,331 --> 00:06:35,210
What? Oh, she is so excited!
166
00:06:35,209 --> 00:06:36,488
Mastershit?
167
00:06:36,488 --> 00:06:38,407
Charming.
Is Alison a good cook?
168
00:06:38,407 --> 00:06:39,886
Alison?
169
00:06:39,886 --> 00:06:42,085
You know? Your pretend girlfriend?
170
00:06:42,084 --> 00:06:43,443
Ha ha! Um, I dunno, really.
171
00:06:43,443 --> 00:06:45,202
What do you mean you don't know?
172
00:06:45,202 --> 00:06:47,641
He doesn't know because she
doesn't exist.
173
00:06:47,640 --> 00:06:48,959
Just because I've got a girlfriend!
174
00:06:48,959 --> 00:06:49,838
Who has another boyfriend...
175
00:06:49,838 --> 00:06:53,037
Simon is not her boyfriend! Oh, no, sorry.
He's just a guy who sleeps on top of her.
176
00:06:53,036 --> 00:06:55,195
Who you talking about?
177
00:06:55,194 --> 00:06:56,113
Alison.
178
00:06:56,113 --> 00:06:58,192
Alan Davidson?
179
00:06:58,192 --> 00:06:59,871
Amazing.
180
00:06:59,871 --> 00:07:02,710
Mum, don't you think Adam should
ask Tanya Green out for a date?
181
00:07:02,708 --> 00:07:04,027
Oh, very good.
182
00:07:04,027 --> 00:07:05,666
She's meant to be a lovely girl.
Sorry, female.
183
00:07:05,666 --> 00:07:08,745
She is a lovely girl.
Oh, she was a beautiful baby.
184
00:07:08,744 --> 00:07:10,063
You want me to go out with a baby?
185
00:07:10,063 --> 00:07:11,142
Oh, don't be so stupid.
186
00:07:11,142 --> 00:07:13,661
No, it would be lovely, actually.
A nice romantic date, all arranged
187
00:07:13,660 --> 00:07:15,739
by my Mum, the paedophile.
188
00:07:15,739 --> 00:07:17,538
Who's a paedophile? Mum is. Oh.
189
00:07:18,497 --> 00:07:21,776
I'll get it! I'll get it!
190
00:07:21,774 --> 00:07:24,373
I wonder who that could be?
191
00:07:24,372 --> 00:07:27,251
Ah, um...
192
00:07:27,250 --> 00:07:27,529
Adam.
193
00:07:27,530 --> 00:07:29,689
Yes, of course.
194
00:07:29,688 --> 00:07:32,287
Right, well,
I've just come to, um...
195
00:07:32,286 --> 00:07:33,325
Yep...
196
00:07:33,325 --> 00:07:37,324
Wilson, you stay!
197
00:07:39,201 --> 00:07:42,600
Oh.
198
00:07:42,598 --> 00:07:46,237
Ooh, something smells nice!
199
00:07:46,236 --> 00:07:50,235
Right, Wilson..
200
00:07:59,146 --> 00:08:00,705
So I'm basically a
lavatory attendant.
201
00:08:00,705 --> 00:08:04,424
What could I do? Oh, maybe I
should offer him some crumble?
202
00:08:04,422 --> 00:08:07,061
What? No way! Crumble? No, Jackie!
203
00:08:07,060 --> 00:08:08,099
All right, all right!
204
00:08:08,099 --> 00:08:12,098
Do you think Jim ever gets any...
You know, lady action?
205
00:08:13,575 --> 00:08:14,614
Shhh!
206
00:08:14,614 --> 00:08:16,493
He can't hear us!
207
00:08:16,493 --> 00:08:18,132
Just wait!
208
00:08:20,849 --> 00:08:21,848
Bye, Jim!
209
00:08:21,849 --> 00:08:25,248
So, do you reckon Jim
ever gets any ladies?
210
00:08:25,246 --> 00:08:26,805
I think his dog gets more.
211
00:08:26,805 --> 00:08:29,324
I reckon he just strangles them!
212
00:08:29,323 --> 00:08:30,722
Hello, everyone!
213
00:08:30,722 --> 00:08:34,041
Ooh! We'd... Thought you'd gone.
214
00:08:34,039 --> 00:08:36,278
No, just saying hi.
215
00:08:36,278 --> 00:08:40,277
Don't get up.
216
00:08:40,514 --> 00:08:42,033
Hello, Martin.
217
00:08:42,033 --> 00:08:46,032
Um, hello, Jim.
218
00:08:46,630 --> 00:08:48,189
Um, are you well?
219
00:08:48,189 --> 00:08:51,588
Fine, fine. That's a nice spread.
220
00:08:51,586 --> 00:08:54,345
Oh, thank you.
221
00:08:54,344 --> 00:08:58,103
Oh, I'm sorry, you're eating,
I'm being very rude.
222
00:08:58,101 --> 00:08:59,780
No, not at all.
223
00:08:59,780 --> 00:09:03,779
Oh, OK.
224
00:09:07,334 --> 00:09:12,453
So...
225
00:09:15,928 --> 00:09:17,807
How's Wilson?
226
00:09:17,806 --> 00:09:19,725
He had worms.
227
00:09:19,725 --> 00:09:23,724
How's Wilson? He had worms.
228
00:09:25,201 --> 00:09:27,800
Er, Adam, could you, er...
229
00:09:27,799 --> 00:09:29,238
Sure, Mum.
230
00:09:29,237 --> 00:09:32,036
Well, it's lovely to see you, Jim.
231
00:09:32,035 --> 00:09:34,114
It's lovely to se you too, Jackie.
232
00:09:34,114 --> 00:09:38,113
And the others.
233
00:09:39,030 --> 00:09:40,949
So if, er... If you'd like to...
234
00:09:40,949 --> 00:09:43,548
Yes, course...
235
00:09:43,547 --> 00:09:45,706
Oh, and, er, bring
in the apple crumble.
236
00:09:45,705 --> 00:09:46,424
OK.
237
00:09:46,424 --> 00:09:47,183
Ooh, crumble!
238
00:09:47,184 --> 00:09:51,183
Yes! Well, never mind.
239
00:09:51,740 --> 00:09:53,219
You'll do that for me, will you?
240
00:09:53,219 --> 00:09:55,898
What? What are you..? Shhh! That's
your glass.
241
00:09:55,897 --> 00:09:57,056
I know. Don't tell Adam.
242
00:09:57,056 --> 00:09:59,135
And if you ever need to
use the toilet round at mine,
243
00:09:59,135 --> 00:10:01,414
Jackie, you're always welcome.
244
00:10:01,413 --> 00:10:05,412
Well, thanks, Jim.
That's good to know.
245
00:10:05,850 --> 00:10:07,449
Has the lady strangler gone?
246
00:10:07,449 --> 00:10:08,808
Shh!
247
00:10:08,808 --> 00:10:12,807
Bye, then!
248
00:10:13,844 --> 00:10:15,323
Mmm, crumble!
249
00:10:15,323 --> 00:10:19,762
Crimble crumble!
250
00:10:19,759 --> 00:10:23,398
Looks a bit dry.
Lucky we've got water.
251
00:10:23,396 --> 00:10:24,235
What?
252
00:10:24,236 --> 00:10:26,475
Nothing, just saying,
lucky we've got some water.
253
00:10:26,474 --> 00:10:27,673
Oh, wait a minute...
254
00:10:27,673 --> 00:10:29,992
I know what you've done!
255
00:10:29,991 --> 00:10:33,510
What? Ha-ha!
256
00:10:33,509 --> 00:10:36,188
Ugh! You bastard! How did you...?
257
00:10:36,187 --> 00:10:37,506
Jonny!
258
00:10:37,506 --> 00:10:39,665
The double bluff! High-five, Dad!
259
00:10:39,664 --> 00:10:41,183
Christ! What you doing?
260
00:10:41,183 --> 00:10:43,422
You know he doesn't
understand these things.
261
00:10:43,421 --> 00:10:44,420
Lunatic!
262
00:10:44,421 --> 00:10:47,700
Right,
I'm gonna get some new water, then.
263
00:10:47,698 --> 00:10:51,417
Hey!
264
00:10:52,454 --> 00:10:56,453
Oh, can you get it?
It'll be Val again.
265
00:10:59,609 --> 00:11:00,888
Hi, Aunty Val.
266
00:11:00,888 --> 00:11:02,367
Oh, hello, Pusface.
267
00:11:02,367 --> 00:11:04,046
'Got ya!'
268
00:11:04,046 --> 00:11:08,005
Cockhead.
269
00:11:08,003 --> 00:11:09,082
Good one, Pissface!
270
00:11:09,082 --> 00:11:13,081
Cheers!
271
00:11:23,711 --> 00:11:25,390
You better not be
272
00:11:25,390 --> 00:11:28,989
Sorry?
273
00:11:30,905 --> 00:11:33,304
Christ, again? Already?
274
00:11:33,304 --> 00:11:35,663
It's like a public toilet in here.
275
00:11:35,662 --> 00:11:37,621
Hello, come in, use the loo.
276
00:11:37,620 --> 00:11:39,899
Oh, thanks, I really
do need to go, actually!
277
00:11:39,899 --> 00:11:41,498
Where is it?
278
00:11:41,497 --> 00:11:45,176
Um, just... In there...
279
00:11:45,175 --> 00:11:49,174
Great, thanks!
280
00:11:52,489 --> 00:11:55,848
Mum, there's...
There's a man in our loo!
281
00:11:55,846 --> 00:11:57,845
Yes, we know that.
282
00:11:57,845 --> 00:11:59,644
No, like, a man!
283
00:11:59,644 --> 00:12:01,763
Come and eat your crumble.
284
00:12:01,762 --> 00:12:05,761
I swear! I opened the door and...
285
00:12:06,398 --> 00:12:07,757
What's he going on about?
286
00:12:09,236 --> 00:12:10,075
Hello?
287
00:12:10,076 --> 00:12:10,755
What you doing?
288
00:12:10,755 --> 00:12:14,394
Shh!
289
00:12:14,392 --> 00:12:15,631
Hello?
290
00:12:15,631 --> 00:12:16,830
Who you talking to?
291
00:12:20,508 --> 00:12:23,267
Hello?
292
00:12:23,266 --> 00:12:25,705
Who are you saying
hello to the whole time?
293
00:12:25,704 --> 00:12:28,143
Shhh! Hello?
294
00:12:30,380 --> 00:12:32,339
That's not Jim.
295
00:12:32,339 --> 00:12:33,138
I know!
296
00:12:33,138 --> 00:12:36,137
What are you doing in there?
297
00:12:36,136 --> 00:12:38,535
Um, I'm going to the toilet.
298
00:12:38,534 --> 00:12:40,133
Why are we all in the hall?
299
00:12:40,133 --> 00:12:41,652
There's a man in our toilet.
300
00:12:41,652 --> 00:12:44,411
A man?
301
00:12:44,410 --> 00:12:46,409
Who are you?
302
00:12:50,565 --> 00:12:52,244
Er, Chris Parker.
303
00:12:52,244 --> 00:12:53,283
Who's he?
304
00:12:53,283 --> 00:12:54,802
What are you doing here?
305
00:12:54,802 --> 00:12:56,841
I've come about the sofabed? What?
306
00:12:56,840 --> 00:12:58,359
He's come about the sofabed.
307
00:12:58,359 --> 00:13:00,318
Don't be silly,
the man's coming tomorrow.
308
00:13:00,318 --> 00:13:02,957
Erm, well that's a man...
And he's definitely here now...
309
00:13:02,956 --> 00:13:06,595
I am. And he's definitely come
about the sofabed. I have.
310
00:13:06,593 --> 00:13:08,112
You're unbelievable!
311
00:13:08,112 --> 00:13:10,031
Why aren't you here on the fifth?
312
00:13:10,030 --> 00:13:11,309
It is the fifth?
313
00:13:11,309 --> 00:13:13,428
No, Saturday the fifth!
314
00:13:13,428 --> 00:13:15,707
Dad, today is the fifth.
It's Friday 5th.
315
00:13:15,706 --> 00:13:17,785
Yeah, today is the fifth?
316
00:13:17,784 --> 00:13:18,143
Is it?
317
00:13:18,144 --> 00:13:20,903
Right, well done, Martin, right
in the middle of dinner. Thank you.
318
00:13:20,902 --> 00:13:24,381
But I thought the fifth was...
Jackie, I'm sorry, I thought...
319
00:13:31,034 --> 00:13:33,713
Now careful. Pull it out slowly.
320
00:13:33,712 --> 00:13:35,391
Slowly...
321
00:13:35,391 --> 00:13:36,710
I'm doing it slowly!
322
00:13:36,710 --> 00:13:39,669
Yeah, it's perfect size.
It's actually for my father.
323
00:13:39,668 --> 00:13:42,067
He's had a pretty
tough time health-wise.
324
00:13:42,066 --> 00:13:43,145
Right.
325
00:13:43,145 --> 00:13:44,184
Slowly...
326
00:13:44,184 --> 00:13:45,543
In and out of hospital,
327
00:13:45,543 --> 00:13:46,022
it's been awful.
328
00:13:46,023 --> 00:13:47,302
Yeah.
329
00:13:47,302 --> 00:13:47,901
Move it round...
330
00:13:47,902 --> 00:13:49,021
Now, hopefully,
331
00:13:49,021 --> 00:13:50,460
Dad can stay over at ours,
332
00:13:50,460 --> 00:13:52,859
we can always just
fold it back into a sofa.
333
00:13:52,858 --> 00:13:53,017
OK.
334
00:13:53,018 --> 00:13:54,097
Slowly!
335
00:13:54,097 --> 00:13:56,936
You don't need to tell me
to do it slowly any more!
336
00:13:56,935 --> 00:13:58,814
That's the beauty of a sofa bed,
I suppose.
337
00:13:58,813 --> 00:13:59,892
Yeah, and lift...
338
00:13:59,892 --> 00:14:01,251
Argh!
339
00:14:01,251 --> 00:14:02,290
What?
340
00:14:02,291 --> 00:14:03,970
Oh, shit, shit, shit!
341
00:14:03,969 --> 00:14:04,808
Are you all right?
342
00:14:04,809 --> 00:14:07,328
Oh, shit on it,
shit on the bloody thing!
343
00:14:07,327 --> 00:14:08,486
Sorry.
344
00:14:08,486 --> 00:14:10,205
Oh, shit on it, shit on it!
345
00:14:10,205 --> 00:14:10,444
Are you all right?
346
00:14:10,445 --> 00:14:11,484
Of course I'm not!
347
00:14:11,484 --> 00:14:13,843
The shitting thing
went right on my bloody...
348
00:14:13,842 --> 00:14:15,121
Are you all right? What happened?
349
00:14:15,121 --> 00:14:16,320
Oh, go away, Jackie!
350
00:14:16,320 --> 00:14:17,839
Martin!
351
00:14:17,839 --> 00:14:19,838
I'm so sorry.
352
00:14:19,837 --> 00:14:21,636
It's OK, Dad, we'll do it.
353
00:14:21,636 --> 00:14:23,075
Just go downstairs.
354
00:14:23,075 --> 00:14:25,754
Oh, shit on the shitting thing!
355
00:14:25,753 --> 00:14:29,752
I'm really sorry.
356
00:14:30,429 --> 00:14:34,428
Right, er, OK.
357
00:14:34,986 --> 00:14:39,185
Slowly...
358
00:14:39,183 --> 00:14:40,982
Be careful of the wallpaper.
359
00:14:40,981 --> 00:14:41,900
OK.
360
00:14:41,901 --> 00:14:43,420
Slowly...
361
00:14:43,420 --> 00:14:45,059
Please, Mum!
362
00:14:45,058 --> 00:14:46,897
Oh!
363
00:14:46,897 --> 00:14:48,616
Excuse me.
364
00:14:48,616 --> 00:14:49,455
What are you doing up here?
365
00:14:49,455 --> 00:14:53,134
Well, the other boy was
in the one downstairs, so, em...
366
00:14:53,132 --> 00:14:57,051
Oh, hello, Jackie.
367
00:14:57,049 --> 00:14:58,288
Hi, Jim.
368
00:14:59,967 --> 00:15:01,046
Yes, quickly!
369
00:15:01,046 --> 00:15:02,805
Sorry! Jim, Jim Bell.
370
00:15:02,805 --> 00:15:05,564
Sorry. Chris, Chris Parker.
371
00:15:05,563 --> 00:15:07,202
I broke my toilet.
372
00:15:07,202 --> 00:15:11,201
Oh, how did you do that?
373
00:15:14,276 --> 00:15:16,115
Right, yes.
374
00:15:16,115 --> 00:15:18,234
So, bye, Jackie!
375
00:15:18,233 --> 00:15:19,872
Bye, Jim.
376
00:15:19,872 --> 00:15:21,871
Bye-bye, all.
377
00:15:21,870 --> 00:15:25,869
He's, er, not part of the family.
378
00:15:26,667 --> 00:15:28,346
Jonny's meant to be taping it.
379
00:15:28,346 --> 00:15:30,385
Jonny, are you taping it?
380
00:15:30,384 --> 00:15:31,863
Yes, I've told you!
381
00:15:31,863 --> 00:15:34,062
And don't tell me who wins!
382
00:15:34,061 --> 00:15:35,580
Adam, what's your mother doing?
383
00:15:35,580 --> 00:15:36,419
Phone!
384
00:15:36,419 --> 00:15:37,738
Oh, typical.
385
00:15:37,738 --> 00:15:39,697
I said, be careful of the wallpaper!
386
00:15:39,697 --> 00:15:40,616
Yes, OK!
387
00:15:40,616 --> 00:15:41,655
All right, tell me,
388
00:15:41,655 --> 00:15:44,854
is his lovely bottom in those
tight leather trousers?
389
00:15:44,853 --> 00:15:46,492
What's she talking about?
390
00:15:46,492 --> 00:15:47,811
Someone's bottom.
391
00:15:47,811 --> 00:15:49,650
Yeah, I'd better go. Bye, love!
392
00:15:49,649 --> 00:15:51,048
How are we doing?
393
00:15:51,048 --> 00:15:52,647
I think you need to
move it a bit your way.
394
00:15:52,647 --> 00:15:53,966
Whoa, whoa!
395
00:15:53,966 --> 00:15:54,805
You all right there, Pusface?
396
00:15:54,805 --> 00:15:56,404
Yes, fine, go away!
397
00:15:56,404 --> 00:15:58,963
I'll just have a nice lie down
on the sofa then.
398
00:15:58,962 --> 00:16:00,641
Jonny, youaretaping MasterChef?
399
00:16:00,641 --> 00:16:04,640
For the 350,000th bloody time,
I am taping it, all right?
400
00:16:05,278 --> 00:16:09,277
Excuse my horrible sons.
401
00:16:09,474 --> 00:16:11,593
Jonny, the boxes, in the car!
402
00:16:11,593 --> 00:16:14,512
Oh, what, now?
403
00:16:14,511 --> 00:16:18,510
Yes, bleedin' now!
404
00:16:19,187 --> 00:16:20,466
Right, what's happening?
405
00:16:20,466 --> 00:16:21,665
I think it's stuck.
406
00:16:21,665 --> 00:16:22,024
What?
407
00:16:22,025 --> 00:16:23,104
It's stuck.
408
00:16:23,104 --> 00:16:26,223
What? I can't understand
a word the bloody man's saying.
409
00:16:26,222 --> 00:16:27,261
What did he say?
410
00:16:27,261 --> 00:16:28,180
It's stuck!
411
00:16:28,180 --> 00:16:31,259
Right, it's stuck, thank you.
412
00:16:31,258 --> 00:16:33,297
Well, what are we going to do?
413
00:16:33,296 --> 00:16:36,335
Em... hang ourselves?
414
00:16:36,334 --> 00:16:38,053
Martin!
415
00:16:38,053 --> 00:16:39,212
Is it really stuck?
416
00:16:39,212 --> 00:16:41,211
You try pulling it
up your way a bit.
417
00:16:42,289 --> 00:16:44,928
Stop, it's tearing
the wallpaper! Stop!
418
00:16:44,928 --> 00:16:46,967
Oh, brilliant, it's properly stuck!
419
00:16:48,125 --> 00:16:51,764
Oh, I hope that's not Dad's.
Hold on, don't let go!
420
00:17:01,715 --> 00:17:04,674
What?
421
00:17:04,673 --> 00:17:08,672
Mum!
422
00:17:10,348 --> 00:17:11,067
Martin?
423
00:17:11,068 --> 00:17:12,107
Mum, please!
424
00:17:12,107 --> 00:17:14,346
Martin!
425
00:17:14,345 --> 00:17:16,104
Darling?
426
00:17:16,104 --> 00:17:17,223
You think I'm stupid, do you?
427
00:17:17,223 --> 00:17:18,382
Sorry?
428
00:17:18,382 --> 00:17:19,421
Mum, not now.
429
00:17:19,421 --> 00:17:21,980
Shut up, Adam!
So that's what you do.
430
00:17:21,979 --> 00:17:24,898
Instead of chucking away
all those dirty old magazines
431
00:17:25,096 --> 00:17:26,296
that, you know, I hate
432
00:17:26,456 --> 00:17:28,415
you get your youngest son
to hide them!
433
00:17:28,415 --> 00:17:29,414
You, what, but...
434
00:17:29,414 --> 00:17:33,413
And then you go and buy more,
more of those bloody magazines!
435
00:17:34,330 --> 00:17:36,569
By the way,
they're not like dirty magazines.
436
00:17:36,568 --> 00:17:37,607
Oh, right.
437
00:17:37,608 --> 00:17:39,247
Jackie, they're collectibles!
438
00:17:39,246 --> 00:17:41,085
They're not collectibles -
they're crap!
439
00:17:41,085 --> 00:17:42,524
But Jackie...
440
00:17:42,524 --> 00:17:44,283
Oh! Shit, shit on it!
441
00:17:44,283 --> 00:17:45,762
Will you please
stop saying shit on it!
442
00:17:45,761 --> 00:17:48,400
Stop saying shit on it.
443
00:17:50,118 --> 00:17:51,077
Hello?
444
00:17:51,077 --> 00:17:52,676
As soon as we get downstairs,
445
00:17:52,676 --> 00:17:55,915
you are taking those bloody boxes
out of Jonny's car, you hear?
446
00:17:55,914 --> 00:17:56,433
Yes!
447
00:17:56,433 --> 00:17:57,472
Oh, my God!
448
00:17:57,473 --> 00:17:58,152
Shhh!
449
00:17:58,152 --> 00:17:59,631
When?
450
00:17:59,631 --> 00:18:00,910
Oh, no!
451
00:18:00,910 --> 00:18:02,109
No, no...
452
00:18:03,748 --> 00:18:05,547
OK, right.
453
00:18:05,546 --> 00:18:08,465
Oh, my God.
454
00:18:08,464 --> 00:18:12,143
Right, OK. Yeah.
455
00:18:12,141 --> 00:18:14,020
You all right?
456
00:18:14,020 --> 00:18:15,099
Um...
457
00:18:15,099 --> 00:18:16,898
I think I need to sit down.
458
00:18:16,898 --> 00:18:18,137
What's the matter?
459
00:18:18,137 --> 00:18:20,536
My... My dad.
460
00:18:20,535 --> 00:18:23,054
My dad's just died.
461
00:18:23,053 --> 00:18:25,292
Oh, my God!
462
00:18:25,291 --> 00:18:27,930
Oh, I'm so sorry!
463
00:18:27,929 --> 00:18:30,648
Yeah, sorry.
464
00:18:30,647 --> 00:18:32,326
How awful.
465
00:18:32,326 --> 00:18:36,045
What sort of dog was it?
466
00:18:37,602 --> 00:18:41,601
We all knew it was coming,
it's just the shock.
467
00:18:44,597 --> 00:18:46,396
No, I'm OK, love.
468
00:18:55,868 --> 00:18:58,627
I'll be leaving soon,
they're just making me some tea.
469
00:18:59,665 --> 00:19:00,384
I will. Bye.
470
00:19:02,663 --> 00:19:04,022
Are you all right?
471
00:19:04,022 --> 00:19:07,781
Hmm? Er, yeah, thanks.
472
00:19:07,779 --> 00:19:11,178
Sorry, did you say you take sugar?
473
00:19:11,177 --> 00:19:14,936
Sorry? Em, no. No sugar, thanks.
474
00:19:14,934 --> 00:19:18,933
Well, talk to the man!
475
00:19:26,285 --> 00:19:28,964
Fantastic Friday night.
Can you invite him every week?
476
00:19:28,963 --> 00:19:32,682
Don't be horrible. How would you
feel if, God forbid, one of us died?
477
00:19:32,680 --> 00:19:33,439
Erm...
478
00:19:33,440 --> 00:19:35,039
Right, thank you, Adam.
479
00:19:35,039 --> 00:19:36,318
OK.
480
00:19:36,318 --> 00:19:37,717
Dad! Dad!
481
00:19:38,916 --> 00:19:39,955
What's happening?
482
00:19:39,955 --> 00:19:41,714
What are you doing?
483
00:19:41,714 --> 00:19:43,753
I'm making the man a cup of tea.
484
00:19:46,190 --> 00:19:47,389
Not that cup!
485
00:19:47,389 --> 00:19:47,828
What's the matter?
486
00:19:47,829 --> 00:19:48,980
Oh, my God!
487
00:19:48,980 --> 00:19:49,699
Here you are.
488
00:19:50,147 --> 00:19:51,306
That's my cup!
489
00:19:51,306 --> 00:19:51,625
Nice cup of tea.
490
00:19:51,866 --> 00:19:52,905
Thank you.
491
00:19:52,905 --> 00:19:55,184
What?
492
00:19:55,183 --> 00:19:56,462
Oh, no.
493
00:19:56,462 --> 00:19:57,541
Um, excuse me.
494
00:19:57,542 --> 00:19:59,541
Ugh! I think...
495
00:19:59,540 --> 00:20:01,059
this has got salt in it!
496
00:20:02,098 --> 00:20:02,817
Did you put salt in my tea?
497
00:20:02,818 --> 00:20:03,937
Sorry, sorry.
498
00:20:03,937 --> 00:20:04,216
What?
499
00:20:04,217 --> 00:20:05,256
There's salt in his tea.
500
00:20:05,256 --> 00:20:06,495
Salt?!
501
00:20:06,495 --> 00:20:07,694
Is this water?
502
00:20:07,694 --> 00:20:08,933
Er, I think so.
503
00:20:08,933 --> 00:20:12,332
I put salt in his tea?
504
00:20:12,330 --> 00:20:14,489
Ugh! There's salt in this too!
505
00:20:14,489 --> 00:20:15,568
Oh, is there?
506
00:20:15,568 --> 00:20:19,327
Why would you do that?
Why have you put salt in everything?
507
00:20:19,325 --> 00:20:23,324
My father's just died and you're
just putting salt in everything!
508
00:20:23,922 --> 00:20:26,841
Actually, I've got to go.
509
00:20:26,839 --> 00:20:30,118
What about the sofa bed?
510
00:20:30,117 --> 00:20:32,996
You have to twist it up a bit.
511
00:20:32,995 --> 00:20:36,794
Just twist it up a bit more?
512
00:20:36,792 --> 00:20:37,951
Lift up the catch.
513
00:20:37,951 --> 00:20:41,150
Push and pull!
514
00:20:41,149 --> 00:20:44,828
Christ!
515
00:20:44,826 --> 00:20:48,545
I think he liked us.
516
00:20:48,543 --> 00:20:51,222
That's it, Jackie.
Be careful, be careful!
517
00:20:51,221 --> 00:20:53,220
It's all right, Mum, it was easy.
518
00:20:53,219 --> 00:20:55,098
Slowly...
519
00:20:55,098 --> 00:20:56,137
Oh, God!
520
00:20:56,137 --> 00:20:57,776
Careful, Jackie, careful.
521
00:20:57,776 --> 00:20:59,295
Ooh!
522
00:20:59,295 --> 00:21:00,374
That's it.
523
00:21:00,374 --> 00:21:01,653
Thank you.
524
00:21:01,653 --> 00:21:05,412
Good girl. Down we come.
525
00:21:05,410 --> 00:21:07,129
There we are.
526
00:21:07,129 --> 00:21:08,848
Well done, Mum.
527
00:21:08,848 --> 00:21:10,247
You OK, Jackie?
528
00:21:11,446 --> 00:21:13,405
Er, thanks, Jim.
529
00:21:14,763 --> 00:21:17,402
Yeah, thanks, thanks again.
530
00:21:17,401 --> 00:21:19,960
Actually, do you mind if I...?
531
00:21:19,959 --> 00:21:21,878
You know...
532
00:21:21,878 --> 00:21:23,357
There.
533
00:21:23,357 --> 00:21:24,436
Thanks.
534
00:21:24,436 --> 00:21:26,355
Right, MasterChef!
535
00:21:26,354 --> 00:21:30,353
Oh, I know, who'd have thought
that Greek chap would win?
536
00:21:30,351 --> 00:21:34,350
What a final!
537
00:21:45,300 --> 00:21:49,299
Shit on it!
538
00:21:50,260 --> 00:21:55,569
Correct by MemoryOnSmells or teftel; www.addic7ed.com,
twitter.com/MemoryOnSmell, memoryonsmells.tumblr.com
539
00:21:59,820 --> 00:22:03,819
Subtitles by
Red Bee Media Ltd
540
00:22:03,869 --> 00:22:08,419
Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0
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