All language subtitles for Frasier - 8x16 - Docu.Drama.HDTV.NoTV.en

And sadly, no one was able to answer
today's psychological mind teaser.

So once again,
the prize goes unclaimed.

By the way,
today's answer was anhedonia.

Anhedonia.

This is Dr. Frasier Crane

saying good day, Seattle,
and good mental health.

[WHlSTLES]

That was a real brain bender, doc.

The idea is to let people win
once in a while.

Oh, please, Kenny, l will not pander.

When some lucky individual
looks at his prize,

l want him to be able to say,
''l earned this.''

- lt's an Antenna Ball.
- Well...

- Oh, Roz, l got some good news.
- What?

Your documentary is a go.

Oh, that's great. Thank you, Kenny.

KENNY: Congratulations.
- Roz, you're doing a documentary?

l've been
wanting to do something on my own,

so l thought l'd do a special on space,
what with it being 2001 and all.

We're gonna do the Cassini mission
to Saturn and telerobotics.

- That kind of stuff.
- You got a show. You got a show.

l don't know
who to kiss up to anymore.

- You don't have to kiss up to anyone.
- l wish l didn't.

So, Roz, you're a space nerd.

Well, l wouldn't go that far.

There is just something
about rockets though.

Uh-huh. lndeed.

Roz?

Sounds like your show
could be a portal

through which we can glimpse
the promise of the future.

A promise lit by a billion stars.

Godspeed, Roz Doyle.

You wouldn't be hoping
to narrate this, would you?

Me?

Well, actually, l was gonna ask you,

but l was afraid it might be
kind of awkward, you working for me.

You've been my boss for eight years.
l wasn't sure if you could handle it.

Oh, Roz, pooh.
l welcome a little role reversal.

lt will do our relationship
a lot of good.

As long as your promise
won't be a problem.

Of course not.

Gosh, you know, actually,
l'm kind of excited.

You may not know this, but as a tyke,
l had my heart set on space flight.

Tragic, isn't it,

how a child's dreams
can be squashed

by a single ride
on a diabolically speedy Tilt-a-Whirl?

[DOORBELL RlNGS]

Oh, jeez.

- Hey.
MARTlN: Hey, Niles.

Just in time for chilli.
lt's my best batch all week.

Do you ever miss vegetables?

For your information, College,
the bean is a vegetable.

So, what's new with Daphne?
How are things at the fat farm?

- lt's a spa.
MARTlN: Oh, sorry.

How are things at the fat spa?

Fine, fine. She's doing very well.

She's losing weight
and gaining friends.

Dad, l had an idea about something
you and l could do together.

No.

Did you happen to read
the arts and leisure section today?

The jumble? Did it.

''A good man is hard to find.''

Actually, l was thinking of something
a little loftier.

Dad, do you remember
when Frasier was in college,

a little tradition
you and l had every spring?

- Oh, the kite festival?
- Mm-hm.

- l thought they didn't do that anymore.
- They're bringing it back this year.

l want us to enter just like old times.

Oh, we made some good kites,
didn't we?

Oh, great kites. The Blue Baron.

- The Screaming Mimi.
- Mm-hm.

The Shield of Perseus.

- You came up with that, didn't you?
- Thank you.

So, what do you say?
You wanna do it?

l'd love to, Niles, but l can't fly
kites anymore, not with my hip.

Let me be your hip.

We'll build it together,
and then l'll fly it.

l'm old enough now.

Well, what the hell?

You know,
l'm gonna go make some sketches.

You know,
l always wanted to try a dragon.

That's a great idea.

We'll name it Fafner
after Siegfried's fiery nemesis.

Maybe we'll just make a fish.

Before we get started on script,
l have a couple of production notes.

Can you get 40 seconds
of the Mir transmissions?

- No problem.
- Hello, everyone.

l'm terribly sorry l'm late.

Please, continue. Lead on, maestra.

Okay.

Kenny's only giving me
a couple of hours to record,

so we'll do the big chunks first.

[MOUTHlNG WORDS]

lf we have time at the end of session,
we'll tape promos.

- What are you doing?
- l'm sorry, Roz.

l was just looking
for a little caffeine kick-start.

- Can it wait until we have a break?
- Yes, it can. You're the maestra.

Can you please
stop calling me that?

- Does everybody have the scripts?
- Right. Got it, got it. Yep.

Okay, now, l think basically
we're in good shape,

but l felt like it dragged
a little in the middle.

- Any thoughts?
- l agree.

Maybe we should talk
about the social aspects.

The panic that spread
through the schools,

because we weren't
emphasising space.

Oh, l like that. Good idea.

What about the space programme
as a tool for the politicians?

- Good angle.
- Yeah.

These are great ideas.
Keep them coming.

l thought we might intercut between
Russian and American programmes

and build up
the tension of the space race.

l don't think so.

What about that dog
the Russians sent up?

l love that. People like dogs.

How about those chimps?

l don't know.
l mean, this isn't Zoo in Space.

So it looks like we're filled out
in the middle here.

So l think we're doing okay.

- What, Frasier?
- Well, it's just a teeny thing, Roz.

l was thinking that seeing as how it is
the jumping-off place for the future,

that we might devote two segments
to the lnternational Space Station.

Thanks, but l've worked this out
very specifically.

You know, l was thinking,
we can combine the stuff

about the manned and
unmanned missions into one segment

and spread out the space station.

Oh, l like that. Good idea, B.K.

l just said that.

Oh, well, l didn't hear you.

You must have heard me, Roz,
because you said no.

Frasier, let's move on, shall we?

Okay, let's talk music.

What if we led off the programme

with that music
from 200 1: A Space Odyssey?

Home run, B.K.

[CHUCKLlNG]

[FRASlER STAMMERlNG]

What is it, Frasier?

Well, not to belittle your suggestion,
B.K., which l love.

lt's just that that particular piece
of music has been a bit...

l don't know, a bit overused.

And it occurs to me

that perhaps an equally evocative,
less familiar piece of music

might better serve. Thank you.

- Like ''The Planets'' by Holst?
- Exactly. lt's a little less on the nose.

What about Phillip Glass?
You know, go completely minimalist.

Yes, like space. Now we're cooking.

- People--
- Ever listened to Sun Ra?

- Or period music? Like hits from 60s.
FRASlER: This is good.

When we're covering
the American programme,

we can use music like Copland.

Better yet, Charles lves.

- For the Russians, we can use--
- Shostakovich.

- Let's do it.
- Frasier.

Can l talk to you for a second?

Well, yes, of course, Roz.
You're the boss.

- Be back in five, everybody.
- Yeah.

Listen, let me give you
just one little piece of advice.

l find that when l'm in a leadership
position, the best way to rally my staff--

What staff?

l'm your staff, and l've been listening
to you for eight years.

And l would like for you
to listen to me for a change.

- And l support that.
- Then shut up!

Well...

l'm not sure that's a wise tone to take.
You don't want to lose your narrator.

ls that a threat?

Well,
l'm just saying that alienating me

isn't probably
in the best interest of the show.

Well, maybe the show
would be better off without you.

Well, then,
maybe l should just leave the show.

Well, maybe that's what the show
wants you to do.

Well, then, the show can bite me!

l realise l've gone on here a bit, Fred,
so let me try to boil this down for you.

lf you want to be a good leader,

you've got to be able to admit
when you're wrong.

No one ever stood so tall
as when he or she...

...stooped to say l'm sorry.

FRED: What's that got to do
with my fear of intimacy?

Which brings to mind
another phrase:

There is none so blind as he or she

who will not see.

We'll be right back after the news.

ROZ:
Subtle, Frasier.

But just so you know,
l do not owe you an apology.

You were trying to take over my show
and that's why l fired you.

You did not fire me. l quit.

But at this late date, Roz,

you should be spared the burden
of having to replace me.

So why don't we agree
to put aside our egos

and continue with the programme?

l've already replaced you.

Oh, Roz,
you've gone with an also-ran.

Who is it?

John Glenn.

- The astronaut?
- Yes.

- The senator?
- Yes.

The John Glenn, American hero.

So l take it there was no one available
with any previous radio experience.

MARTlN:
Loosen up, son.

That's the way.

Relaxed but firm.

lt's not a fight, it's a persuasion.

Okay, Dad, l am ready.
l wanna take her to the park.

Out of the question.

Well, l have to practise
in real-life conditions.

l can't keep running up
and down the halls.

No, it's too windy.

All right. Well...

Can l at least hang her off the balcony
so we can see how she looks?

Niles,
what kind of dope are you smoking?

The updraft
would pull you off your feet.

You know, you've got a lot to learn.

This isn't like driving a car, you know?
lt takes practise and concentration.

Hey, Fras.

Did you get things
all patched up with Roz?

On the contrary.

Every time l offer her
an olive branch,

she snaps it in two, sets it on fire
and writes no with the ashes.

She had the temerity
to call me overbearing.

This time, the wound is deep,
my friends, bone deep.

- Well, maybe--
FRASlER: Yes,

sometimes
l am forceful with my opinions,

but that is only because
l'm passionate and right.

And passionate about being right.

Overbearing, as if.

- Well, she probably wants to--
FRASlER: lt's insupportable, Dad.

She went out and got John Glenn
to replace me.

- The astronaut?
- Yes, yes, the American hero.

- John Glenn, he's perfect.
- Oh, moon dust and starshine, Dad.

Yes, he's been to space.

But does he have the voice,
the savvy, the radio charisma?

Batten down the kite, Niles.

lt's really starting
to blow hard in here.

Frasier,
your issues notwithstanding,

getting John Glenn
is quite a coup for Roz.

John Glenn
is just a space-age Band-Aid, Niles.

And Roz is using it to cover up
this enormous authority issue

she has with me,
which she persists in denying.

You're right, Niles,
it's time for action.

l've got to show her once and for all
that l am not some meddler

and she is only being paranoid.

l'll be in my room
plotting some way to prove it.

[WHlMPERlNG]

l'm Fafner.

[WlND HOWLlNG]

[BARKlNG]

All l know is that a couple
of your clowns

wired up the dish a month ago,
and now l can't even see the news.

Now, l do a lot of TV watching

and l don't wanna have to take
my business elsewhere, but l will.

[lMlTATES STATlC CRACKLlNG]

Can't hear you, sorry.

[KNOCKlNG ON DOOR]

- Senator?
- Yes.

l'd like to introduce myself.
l'm Dr. Frasier Crane.

- Oh, glad to meet you.
- lt's a pleasure to meet you.

l was the previous narrator
on the documentary.

That's a fascinating story.

You've heard her side of the story.
Maybe someday you'll hear mine.

Well,
l was talking about space travel.

[CHUCKLES]

lt was good of you to step aside,
though.

- You have a scheduling conflict?
- Yes, unfortunately.

The Opera Guild's
annual football tournament.

Well, l'm the quarterback.

Look, anyway,
if you wouldn't mind indulging me,

- Sure.
- l have a few suggestions

that l didn't have a chance
to run by Roz.

Here we are. Now, this first one
is about a Seattle man

who took his two sons to the roof

to see if they could spot
Friendship 7 flying by.

Was that you?

That's very perceptive of you, sir.

Yes, that was me,
my father and my brother.

l thought a story
from glory days of space

might help to launch the show.

You know, that sounds great.
l'll bring that up to Roz.

About that, it's probably best that Roz
never know we had this conversation.

Why not?

Well, you see, any suggestion
that came from me right now,

Roz would be inclined
to shoot down.

And she's a little ticked off at me
for dropping out.

Well, you know, l don't like to go
behind someone's back.

Oh, we're not going behind
anybody's back.

Even if we were,
it's only temporary so...

At any rate,
it is for the good of the show.

Well, okay,
l'll look through these things.

- l'll bring them up to her.
- That's terrific.

Thank you.
lt was a pleasure to meet you.

- Thank you. Good to see you.
- Take care.

Oh, senator,

what are you drinking there, Tang?

Two minutes and 20 seconds.
A new record.

So let me get this cued up
and we'll be ready.

JOHN: Sounds great.
- All right.

- Frasier, what are you doing here?
- Roz, l'm just observing.

lf you want me to go, l will.

But you have to admit,
this is sort of a once-in-a-lifetime thing.

Fine, but no talking.

Okay, senator, we're rolling.

Okay.
Roz, l have an idea if you're interested.

Sure.

l heard the nicest story

about a Seattle man who took his
two sons up on the roof of the house

to try and see my Mercury spacecraft
come over.

l love that.

Yeah, well,
l thought you'd like that one.

And then if we could get some
of the old mission broadcasts,

maybe we could use those
for background.

Definitely.
You are full of great ideas.

No. l'm full of good ideas.

Frasier, what are you doing?

You agreed to two of my suggestions,
which proves your problem

- is with me and not with them.
- l'm sorry. Frasier, get out.

lt's all right.
The senator and l are old friends.

l took the liberty of running
a few irresistible ideas by him,

so that l prove my point
and let you come clean.

That's not what you told me.
You used me.

l'm sorry, senator, but if l used you,

it was only as the swift
and terrible sword of justice.

lt's terrible, all right. And outrageous.

You said these were your ideas.
Why'd you do it, Senator Glenn?

l was misled and l feel awful and...

And you know, it's not like me
to be that underhanded.

lt's all right.
Frasier, get in my booth.

l am so sorry, Senator Glenn.

Well, l'm the one that's sorry.
lt's my nature to be honest and--

Now, listen up, Roz.
l'm gonna tell you what l did this for.

Back in those glory days,

l was very uncomfortable
when they asked us to say things

that l didn't want to say
and deny other things.

l am so mad at you, Frasier.

FRASlER: Oh, yeah?
Well, l'm mad too, so just bring it on.

Some people ask, you know,
''Were you alone out there?''

We never gave the real answer.

And yet, we've seen things out there,
strange things.

This is my project and l asked you
not to try to take control,

and now you've gone behind my back
and done just that.

But you didn't even give me
a fair shake.

lt was because
l was trying to protect myself

because you can be
so bossy sometimes.

But we know what we saw out there
and we couldn't--

We couldn't really say anything.

And the bosses were scared of this.

They were afraid
of War of the Worlds type stuff.

And about panic in the streets,
and so we had to keep quiet.

And now we only see
these things in our--

Well, in our nightmares
or maybe in the movies.

And some of them
are pretty close to being the truth.

FRASlER:
All right, Roz,

l'll admit that maybe l was
being a little too assertive, all right?

But the least you could do is admit
that perhaps you were a bit defensive.

[WHOOSHlNG]

Well, maybe you're right.

But it was because
l was trying to prove

that l could do this on my own,
so l was shutting you out.

l admit it.
lt was unfair, and l apologise.

Accepted.

Oh, Roz, come on.

Our friendship is more important
to me than this documentary.

Oh, it is to me too, Frasier.

Look, about what l just said
out there,

can we just keep that between us?

Oh, of course, senator.

Good, well--
Wait, you were recording all that?

Yeah, that's okay. We've got plenty.

l'm gonna need that tape.

He's a little tightly wound.

Looks like maybe somebody
should cut back on the old Tang.

- That's a good one, Frasier.
- Oh, thanks, Roz.

Whenever you're ready, senator.

''Since the dawn of time,

man has gazed skyward
and dreamed of reaching the stars...''