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Previously on "Faking It"...
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I'm Amy, walking pile of contradictions.
3
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I'm transgender.
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It doesn't change the
way I feel about you.
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She can set it to
midnight New Year's Eve.
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- Do you think she'll like it?
- I know I'd melt
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if I got something like this.
8
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Does that mean you still
want to find a girl to kiss?
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I think I already found one.
10
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Hey
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Whoa
12
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[giggles]
13
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Why didn't we do this at camp?
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It's so much more fun than
making friendship bracelets.
15
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But not as much fun as dream catchers.
16
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Mm.
17
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Seriously, these past
four days have been...
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Thrilling?
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Scary?
20
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I was gonna go with magical.
21
00:00:44,986 --> 00:00:46,572
Farrah: Amy!
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How many of your friends are coming
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to our annual Ho-Ho-Ho-Holiday
party tomorrow?
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I need an accurate count
for the gingerbread men.
25
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Are you girls bringing dates?
26
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Nope.
27
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What about that adorable Felix?
28
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I'm just not really
interested in anyone right now.
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You've been in a really good mood lately.
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There's got to be someone.
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Nope.
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Not a one. [chuckles]
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Hmm. Shame.
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Well, get me that list.
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Look,
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I know you're not ready to come out
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and I don't want to pressure you,
38
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but I've learned that
secret relationships
39
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always blow up in your face
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and I don't want this to blow up.
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Me neither.
42
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So you want to tell your mom?
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And Karma.
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[sighs]
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She's my best friend.
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I don't like lying to her.
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She's just not exactly my biggest fan.
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Who knows what she's gonna say about me?
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Sabrina, there's nothing Karma can say
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that'll come between us.
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I promise.
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Sync and corrected by ~LittleDuck~
www.addic7ed.com
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Sabrina is faking it.
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That kiss at the diversity
assembly: 100 % bogus.
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Why would she do that?
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Because I told her that
she would never have
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a connection with Amy the way that I do,
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and she's trying to prove me wrong.
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She's a psychopath.
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Do you hear how crazy you sound?
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That kiss looked pretty real to me.
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At least help me warn her.
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I mean, who knows what
lies Sabrina's telling her
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to suck her deeper into her web?
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The thing is,
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is I don't think Sabrina's faking it.
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Sorry, Karma, you're on your own.
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Both: I've got to talk
to you about Sabrina.
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You go first.
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All right, but you have to hear me out
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without interrupting, okay?
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Okay.
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Sabrina has been
questioning her sexuality.
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A-and after the diversity assembly,
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we kissed.
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- Okay, but she is...
- Zzt.
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I really like her
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and I know that you two don't get along,
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but I'm really hoping
that you're not gonna
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trash her character
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or try to talk me out of it.
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What? I-I wasn't gonna do that.
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You do have a history of
sabotaging my relationships.
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Yeah, but that was the old me.
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I love you.
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I just want you to be happy.
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I am
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so, so happy.
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So what were you gonna tell me?
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I don't even remember what it was.
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Boy, I'm spacey today.
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Yay!
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[Amy sighs]
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Man, I am so tired. Late night.
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Mm. So I heard.
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I need coffee.
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Where are your mugs?
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Above you.
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You can use any, except... [mug shatters]
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- Oops.
- That one.
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[phone beeps]
102
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Okay. Time to go.
103
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But my coffee?
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Aw, your Uber's here, sorry.
105
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- Where's Edie?
- That's it.
106
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No more one-night-stands
traipsing through my place.
107
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Hey, this is my apartment too.
108
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Condo... And you don't pay rent.
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- And neither do you.
- Irrelevant.
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The point is, this isn't a brothel.
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Enough with the slut-shaming.
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It isn't any less wrong
when you do it to a guy.
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No one-night-stands is
a perfectly reasonable
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- roommate rule.
- If you're a monk.
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Maybe if you put yourself out there,
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you'd feel differently.
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I'm sorry I don't have low standards
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like you.
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Do you know how hard it is
120
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to find a handsome, athletic,
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ambitious young Libertarian
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who wears khakis that actually fit
123
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and is comfortable with a strong woman?
124
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The rule stands.
125
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Wait. Maybe we should slow down.
126
00:04:13,143 --> 00:04:14,143
Why?
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You're Shane Harvey; you don't do slow.
128
00:04:16,588 --> 00:04:17,692
Sure, I do.
129
00:04:17,717 --> 00:04:20,704
Besides, I thought you
would want to take it slow.
130
00:04:21,049 --> 00:04:22,962
Hey, I don't want to take it slow,
131
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unless you do.
132
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Uh, it's no, then.
133
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Full steam ahead, then. [chuckles]
134
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- Right?
- Yeah.
135
00:04:29,452 --> 00:04:31,762
Uh, just not at this exact minute.
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Right.
137
00:04:33,140 --> 00:04:34,219
Of course not,
138
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'cause our first time
can't be in the band room.
139
00:04:36,631 --> 00:04:37,671
[chuckles] Exactly.
140
00:04:37,696 --> 00:04:39,447
We got to do this [bleep] right.
141
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- In a bed.
- Yeah.
142
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Just not tonight.
143
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Uh, 'cause I have this holiday party.
144
00:04:43,523 --> 00:04:44,606
Oh, yeah.
145
00:04:44,631 --> 00:04:45,739
Uh, I have to study
146
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for this big Reiki healing test.
147
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- And that's super important.
- Yes.
148
00:04:49,803 --> 00:04:53,204
So, um, tomorrow night?
149
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Great. Perfect.
150
00:04:55,040 --> 00:04:57,934
It's a... sex date.
151
00:04:58,603 --> 00:05:00,433
- It's a sex date.
- Yeah.
152
00:05:01,698 --> 00:05:04,060
I am so on to your twisted game, Sabrina.
153
00:05:04,085 --> 00:05:06,819
And I'm giving you one chance
to come clean to Amy yourself.
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What are you talking about?
155
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You're straight.
156
00:05:09,319 --> 00:05:11,304
Heterosexual. Unqueer.
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Typically, when you're dating a girl,
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- you're not straight.
- [phone buzzing]
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Don't play innocent
with me, you sick freak.
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You're playing with Amy's emotions
161
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just so you can push me out.
162
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Interesting theory.
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You should tell Amy about that yourself.
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I'm sure you won't seem
like a jealous nut-job
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trying to sabotage our relationship.
166
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While you're at it,
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why don't you tell her that
I'm the one that shot Kennedy
168
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and Lincoln and Tupac?
169
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You would love that, wouldn't you?
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Looks like you're in a proverbial pickle.
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Boo.
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[sighs]
173
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174
00:05:48,544 --> 00:05:50,505
[all "ohm-ing"]
175
00:05:50,530 --> 00:05:52,692
So have you, uh, sealed
the deal with Noah?
176
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- Not yet.
- What?
177
00:05:54,722 --> 00:05:55,732
It's been four days.
178
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You got a groin injury or something?
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No.
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Not everyone's got to jump in bed
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with everyone right away.
182
00:06:00,991 --> 00:06:02,657
Okay, that does not sound like you.
183
00:06:02,695 --> 00:06:03,608
What's going on?
184
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Nothing's going on.
There's nothing to discuss.
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Not even if I really, really wanted to.
186
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How's your sex life?
187
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About to end.
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Lauren said no more
girls at the apartment
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because she's lonely,
bitter, and vindictive.
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Just play matchmaker.
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00:06:17,989 --> 00:06:19,141
Once she's got her own love interest,
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- she'll forget about yours.
- Yeah, except I'll never find anyone
193
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to meet her impossible standards.
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It is an outrage that my beliefs
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are being systematically
repressed at Hester
196
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just because I'm in a minority.
197
00:06:27,292 --> 00:06:28,474
I already told you, Preston,
198
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there's not enough interest
in a Libertarian club.
199
00:06:30,245 --> 00:06:32,355
You are the only Libertarian.
200
00:06:32,380 --> 00:06:33,594
How would you even get a quorum?
201
00:06:33,619 --> 00:06:35,253
Which is exactly why we need a club.
202
00:06:35,278 --> 00:06:36,826
This isn't over, Penelope.
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00:06:36,851 --> 00:06:39,411
But I respect you as a
powerful woman and adversary.
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Hey, Preston, buddy.
205
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What are you doing tonight?
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Oh, you don't say?
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00:06:49,335 --> 00:06:50,895
This is the perfect opportunity
208
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to tell my mom about us.
209
00:06:52,312 --> 00:06:54,077
You want to tell her at a party?
210
00:06:54,120 --> 00:06:56,684
Oh, yeah, that's the only
place to tell her anything.
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00:06:56,709 --> 00:06:59,063
That way, if she has a bad reaction,
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she won't make a scene.
213
00:07:00,259 --> 00:07:01,125
Hmm.
214
00:07:01,127 --> 00:07:03,010
Your grandmother made that top?
215
00:07:03,012 --> 00:07:04,321
- Well, it's just so...
- Mom?
216
00:07:04,346 --> 00:07:06,346
Oh, excuse me.
217
00:07:06,590 --> 00:07:07,954
I changed my mind.
218
00:07:08,361 --> 00:07:09,864
I am bringing a date.
219
00:07:11,358 --> 00:07:12,790
Surprise! [chuckles]
220
00:07:13,656 --> 00:07:15,173
We're dating.
221
00:07:15,730 --> 00:07:16,988
Well,
222
00:07:17,173 --> 00:07:19,275
that's wonderful, sweetheart.
223
00:07:20,111 --> 00:07:20,871
That's it?
224
00:07:21,001 --> 00:07:22,646
You're not even slightly upset?
225
00:07:22,671 --> 00:07:24,175
Of course not.
226
00:07:24,200 --> 00:07:27,273
Whoever makes you happy makes me happy.
227
00:07:27,891 --> 00:07:30,668
And in the spirit of non-judgment,
228
00:07:30,790 --> 00:07:33,323
while you've been reconnecting
with someone from your past,
229
00:07:33,348 --> 00:07:34,635
so have I.
230
00:07:34,660 --> 00:07:36,207
You remember Ron.
231
00:07:36,295 --> 00:07:38,579
[giggles]
232
00:07:39,666 --> 00:07:41,215
Ron the Con?
233
00:07:41,350 --> 00:07:43,438
Not nice, sweetheart.
234
00:07:43,463 --> 00:07:45,142
Besides, Ron's different now.
235
00:07:45,167 --> 00:07:46,633
He has an actual job
236
00:07:46,747 --> 00:07:48,413
and a two-bedroom condo
237
00:07:48,438 --> 00:07:49,568
on South Padre Island.
238
00:07:49,751 --> 00:07:50,639
Oh.
239
00:07:50,664 --> 00:07:52,600
Did he steal the down
payment from his mom?
240
00:07:52,728 --> 00:07:54,611
Again, not nice.
241
00:07:54,938 --> 00:07:56,563
Gotta go.
242
00:07:56,990 --> 00:07:58,408
That was the emergency?
243
00:07:58,433 --> 00:07:59,952
You stole Sabrina's phone?
244
00:07:59,977 --> 00:08:00,726
Yeah.
245
00:08:00,751 --> 00:08:02,546
And I need you to hack it.
246
00:08:02,571 --> 00:08:04,561
Okay, just because I play video games
247
00:08:04,586 --> 00:08:06,734
does not mean I know how to hack a phone.
248
00:08:06,759 --> 00:08:08,488
[phone ringing]
249
00:08:09,099 --> 00:08:10,179
What do I do?
250
00:08:10,204 --> 00:08:11,145
What do I do?
251
00:08:11,170 --> 00:08:12,679
Oh, don't...
252
00:08:14,035 --> 00:08:15,221
[nasally voice] Hello?
253
00:08:15,514 --> 00:08:16,514
Sabrina?
254
00:08:16,919 --> 00:08:18,424
Yeah, this is me.
255
00:08:18,449 --> 00:08:20,527
I-I'm sorry, I have a cold.
256
00:08:20,865 --> 00:08:22,246
I have a surprise for you.
257
00:08:22,271 --> 00:08:23,487
I'm in town!
258
00:08:23,688 --> 00:08:24,636
You are?
259
00:08:24,661 --> 00:08:25,877
And I'm on my way to your house.
260
00:08:25,879 --> 00:08:26,879
No!
261
00:08:27,103 --> 00:08:29,057
I mean, um,
262
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I have a better idea.
263
00:08:30,932 --> 00:08:33,109
Meet me at the Brew N Chew in five.
264
00:08:33,134 --> 00:08:34,849
Bye. [phone beeps]
265
00:08:34,874 --> 00:08:36,209
What did you just do?
266
00:08:37,239 --> 00:08:38,851
It's called collecting evidence.
267
00:08:39,394 --> 00:08:40,921
I knew she was faking it.
268
00:08:40,946 --> 00:08:42,257
That's probably her boyfriend.
269
00:08:42,282 --> 00:08:43,915
Or just about anybody.
270
00:08:44,210 --> 00:08:45,623
[sighs] Okay.
271
00:08:45,648 --> 00:08:47,681
Please come with me to meet him.
272
00:08:48,025 --> 00:08:49,616
I know you still care about Amy
273
00:08:49,970 --> 00:08:52,542
and if there's even a chance
that I'm right about this,
274
00:08:52,567 --> 00:08:53,856
think about what it would do to her.
275
00:08:53,891 --> 00:08:55,855
She would be devastated...
276
00:08:56,350 --> 00:08:57,494
again.
277
00:09:00,329 --> 00:09:01,662
So what's the deal with Ron?
278
00:09:02,241 --> 00:09:04,499
Besides the child-molester name?
279
00:09:04,554 --> 00:09:05,657
Oh, God, is he a...
280
00:09:05,682 --> 00:09:07,695
Oh, ew. No, no, no.
281
00:09:07,874 --> 00:09:09,407
When he and my mom dated the first time,
282
00:09:09,431 --> 00:09:11,230
he got her involved
in some pyramid scheme
283
00:09:11,255 --> 00:09:12,603
selling an Herbalife knockoff
284
00:09:12,628 --> 00:09:14,064
and she lost a ton of money
285
00:09:14,089 --> 00:09:16,978
all because of that
lying, manipulative jerk.
286
00:09:17,556 --> 00:09:19,272
What if it was just a little lie
287
00:09:19,297 --> 00:09:20,266
that got out of hand
288
00:09:20,291 --> 00:09:21,815
and now he really likes Farrah?
289
00:09:21,840 --> 00:09:23,018
Maybe he's changed.
290
00:09:23,043 --> 00:09:24,588
No, not Ron.
291
00:09:24,613 --> 00:09:26,417
And we're gonna prove it.
292
00:09:27,097 --> 00:09:28,604
Listen up, New Lisbeths,
293
00:09:28,629 --> 00:09:31,763
I've suffered a very small
drop in Instagram followers
294
00:09:31,820 --> 00:09:34,307
so I need you both to take
candid photos of me tonight
295
00:09:34,332 --> 00:09:35,401
in this festive setting
296
00:09:35,426 --> 00:09:38,060
to make my life look
more relatably fabulous.
297
00:09:38,190 --> 00:09:39,236
But I don't want to feel like
298
00:09:39,261 --> 00:09:40,844
I'm being stalked by the paparazzi.
299
00:09:41,175 --> 00:09:43,654
Lose those hideous
sweaters and the heels.
300
00:09:43,679 --> 00:09:44,989
They're gonna make a racket.
301
00:09:45,014 --> 00:09:46,346
Ew.
302
00:09:49,687 --> 00:09:50,795
Oh, hey, Lauren.
303
00:09:50,820 --> 00:09:53,237
Hey, I was just talking to
my friend Preston about...
304
00:09:53,262 --> 00:09:54,705
What were you talking about?
305
00:09:54,730 --> 00:09:56,317
American Exceptionalism.
306
00:09:56,709 --> 00:09:58,076
For or against?
307
00:09:58,234 --> 00:10:00,550
How could there be a question? For.
308
00:10:00,663 --> 00:10:02,240
[chuckles]
309
00:10:02,265 --> 00:10:03,641
I thought I was the only
person in this school
310
00:10:03,666 --> 00:10:05,848
who believed America
has a manifest destiny.
311
00:10:05,873 --> 00:10:07,156
Well, so did I.
312
00:10:07,317 --> 00:10:08,530
I'm just gonna go to the bathroom
313
00:10:08,555 --> 00:10:09,670
while you guys discuss.
314
00:10:10,266 --> 00:10:11,735
Well, it's very nice to meet you.
315
00:10:11,760 --> 00:10:12,949
May I get you a drink?
316
00:10:12,974 --> 00:10:15,223
Suppose you absolutely adore candy canes
317
00:10:15,248 --> 00:10:17,322
and you didn't think you
even liked peppermint bark,
318
00:10:17,347 --> 00:10:18,930
but then you find some peppermint bark
319
00:10:18,945 --> 00:10:20,096
you really want to eat.
320
00:10:20,121 --> 00:10:22,108
Does that mean you're a
peppermint bark person now
321
00:10:22,133 --> 00:10:23,860
and not a candy cane person?
322
00:10:24,636 --> 00:10:26,536
I'm not allowed to have processed sugar.
323
00:10:27,735 --> 00:10:28,735
What?
324
00:10:29,483 --> 00:10:32,995
325
00:10:33,306 --> 00:10:34,854
Okay, what's the plan?
326
00:10:35,063 --> 00:10:36,658
We just talk to him.
327
00:10:37,327 --> 00:10:39,826
328
00:10:40,160 --> 00:10:43,277
[Australian accent]
Well, hello there, mate.
329
00:10:43,302 --> 00:10:46,161
I'm Barbie... As in
put a shrimp on the...
330
00:10:46,186 --> 00:10:48,570
And here is Baz.
331
00:10:49,169 --> 00:10:50,869
Hi. [chuckles]
332
00:10:51,133 --> 00:10:54,149
We're just friendly
tourists from Down Under
333
00:10:54,174 --> 00:10:55,557
looking to meet the locals.
334
00:10:55,592 --> 00:10:57,109
Well, I'm not really a local.
335
00:10:57,134 --> 00:10:59,201
- Oh, are you visiting someone?
- Yep.
336
00:10:59,226 --> 00:11:02,026
Like a friend or a girlfriend?
337
00:11:02,211 --> 00:11:02,994
Or...
338
00:11:03,019 --> 00:11:04,339
My girlfriend, Sabrina.
339
00:11:04,364 --> 00:11:05,327
We're long-distance.
340
00:11:05,352 --> 00:11:06,662
I came up to surprise her.
341
00:11:06,687 --> 00:11:07,802
She sounds pretty.
342
00:11:07,827 --> 00:11:08,827
Do you have a picture?
343
00:11:09,167 --> 00:11:10,493
Yeah, tons.
344
00:11:10,921 --> 00:11:12,087
[chuckles]
345
00:11:12,112 --> 00:11:14,101
How about one of the two of you together?
346
00:11:18,265 --> 00:11:19,875
Do you mind if we take a photo?
347
00:11:20,330 --> 00:11:21,914
Of the photo?
348
00:11:23,088 --> 00:11:24,324
[Australian accent] Yeah, you know,
349
00:11:24,348 --> 00:11:26,040
pics of pics.
350
00:11:26,456 --> 00:11:28,267
It's all the rage
351
00:11:28,292 --> 00:11:30,136
Down Under.
352
00:11:30,410 --> 00:11:31,701
Okay, what's going on?
353
00:11:32,188 --> 00:11:33,129
I-I told you,
354
00:11:33,130 --> 00:11:35,830
we're just a couple of friendly Aussies.
355
00:11:35,972 --> 00:11:37,643
Barbie, I know something's up.
356
00:11:37,811 --> 00:11:39,695
You're way too invested in my love life
357
00:11:39,720 --> 00:11:43,111
and this guy's clearly not Australian.
358
00:11:43,136 --> 00:11:44,136
Yep.
359
00:11:44,769 --> 00:11:45,935
[normal voice] Okay.
360
00:11:45,960 --> 00:11:47,493
My name's not Barbie
361
00:11:47,678 --> 00:11:51,620
and there's something you
should know about Sabrina.
362
00:11:51,804 --> 00:11:53,887
So I'm a master at the mambo,
363
00:11:53,912 --> 00:11:55,771
but I've never done the cha-cha.
364
00:11:55,796 --> 00:11:57,195
What if I can't do the cha-cha?
365
00:11:57,220 --> 00:11:58,786
Like, what if I get stage fright?
366
00:11:58,811 --> 00:12:00,478
That sounds stressful.
367
00:12:00,801 --> 00:12:02,634
Do you know what I do
when I get stressed?
368
00:12:02,659 --> 00:12:04,720
I go to my condo in South Padre Island.
369
00:12:05,314 --> 00:12:06,080
Okay.
370
00:12:06,105 --> 00:12:08,030
Not really sure how that applies to me.
371
00:12:08,055 --> 00:12:10,699
The complex has two hot
tubs and a dry sauna.
372
00:12:10,724 --> 00:12:12,408
Let me show you this brochure.
373
00:12:12,433 --> 00:12:14,228
Mm. Um...
374
00:12:14,898 --> 00:12:16,431
That lying sleaze.
375
00:12:16,456 --> 00:12:18,058
I can't believe he's using this party
376
00:12:18,083 --> 00:12:19,230
to sell timeshares.
377
00:12:19,255 --> 00:12:22,640
Maybe he's just really
excited about his investment.
378
00:12:22,642 --> 00:12:24,489
No, this is so inappropriate.
379
00:12:24,621 --> 00:12:26,222
I have to tell my mom.
380
00:12:26,247 --> 00:12:27,613
- That's not that much.
- No.
381
00:12:27,741 --> 00:12:29,491
By then, I'll have
sold my consulting firm
382
00:12:29,516 --> 00:12:30,682
and moved on to a tech start-up,
383
00:12:30,707 --> 00:12:32,576
which really sets me
up for my Senate run.
384
00:12:32,601 --> 00:12:35,831
I have a 15-year plan too.
Well, and a 30.
385
00:12:35,855 --> 00:12:37,621
Really, it's never too
early to start planning
386
00:12:37,646 --> 00:12:39,248
the next three decades of your life.
387
00:12:39,273 --> 00:12:41,023
I couldn't agree more.
388
00:12:41,202 --> 00:12:42,593
You know, Liam said we'd get along
389
00:12:42,618 --> 00:12:44,241
and he was right.
390
00:12:45,191 --> 00:12:46,690
He did, did he?
391
00:12:46,905 --> 00:12:47,998
Amy.
392
00:12:48,124 --> 00:12:49,674
Listen, I've been thinking.
393
00:12:49,974 --> 00:12:51,861
There's something that I
need to talk to you about.
394
00:12:51,886 --> 00:12:53,545
Can it just wait a minute?
395
00:12:53,716 --> 00:12:55,215
Mom,
396
00:12:55,466 --> 00:12:57,678
Ron is selling timeshares to your friends
397
00:12:57,861 --> 00:12:58,672
and mine.
398
00:12:58,697 --> 00:13:00,456
They're teenagers... Where are
they gonna get that kind of money?
399
00:13:00,481 --> 00:13:03,836
Darlin', he's just sharing
a hot investment tip.
400
00:13:03,861 --> 00:13:05,299
Shows how generous he is.
401
00:13:05,490 --> 00:13:07,242
He wasn't good enough
for you five years ago
402
00:13:07,264 --> 00:13:08,563
and he's not good enough for you now.
403
00:13:08,588 --> 00:13:11,094
Perfect men do not grow on trees, Amy.
404
00:13:11,119 --> 00:13:12,302
Mom, you're settling.
405
00:13:12,327 --> 00:13:13,537
I know that you've given up hope
406
00:13:13,562 --> 00:13:14,830
that the right person is out there,
407
00:13:14,855 --> 00:13:16,037
and I get that.
408
00:13:16,160 --> 00:13:18,360
I almost gave up hope too.
409
00:13:18,799 --> 00:13:20,491
But if I did, then
410
00:13:20,684 --> 00:13:22,689
I wouldn't be with the right person now.
411
00:13:22,714 --> 00:13:23,995
You're a teenager.
412
00:13:24,020 --> 00:13:26,535
What do you know about
finding the right one?
413
00:13:26,570 --> 00:13:28,573
I know that you're getting conned.
414
00:13:28,949 --> 00:13:31,734
And a leopard never changes his spots.
415
00:13:32,195 --> 00:13:33,445
Oh.
416
00:13:33,470 --> 00:13:34,635
[sighs]
417
00:13:36,903 --> 00:13:38,819
I belong to 24 Hour Fitness
418
00:13:39,012 --> 00:13:41,012
but I really want to
work out at Gold's Gym.
419
00:13:41,037 --> 00:13:43,022
If I do, will I have
to give up my membership
420
00:13:43,047 --> 00:13:44,401
to 24 Hour Fitness?
421
00:13:44,426 --> 00:13:46,624
Oh, this is about what's
going on with you and Noah,
422
00:13:46,649 --> 00:13:48,175
- isn't it?
- No!
423
00:13:48,786 --> 00:13:49,695
Yes.
424
00:13:49,720 --> 00:13:51,220
Shane, if you can't
talk about it with me,
425
00:13:51,245 --> 00:13:52,444
why don't you talk about it with him?
426
00:13:52,572 --> 00:13:54,461
That will be hard.
427
00:13:55,074 --> 00:13:55,888
[sighs]
428
00:13:55,913 --> 00:13:57,796
Okay, fine. You're right.
429
00:13:59,711 --> 00:14:01,472
Does it look like I
need you to pimp me out?
430
00:14:01,497 --> 00:14:02,252
Excuse me?
431
00:14:02,277 --> 00:14:03,559
You thought that if you set me up
432
00:14:03,584 --> 00:14:05,562
with a handsome Libertarian
in no-pleat khakis,
433
00:14:05,587 --> 00:14:08,353
that I'd just sign off
on all your sexcapades?
434
00:14:08,378 --> 00:14:10,178
What is the problem? He
likes you, you like him,
435
00:14:10,203 --> 00:14:12,359
and he meets your impossible
list of must-haves.
436
00:14:12,639 --> 00:14:14,839
Those weren't all my must-haves.
437
00:14:15,553 --> 00:14:18,466
I need someone who can
accept me for being different
438
00:14:18,491 --> 00:14:20,725
without treating me like I'm different.
439
00:14:20,750 --> 00:14:23,324
Guys like that don't walk
into your life every day.
440
00:14:24,180 --> 00:14:26,764
441
00:14:26,823 --> 00:14:28,689
-
Joy to the world
-
Joy
442
00:14:28,691 --> 00:14:30,524
To the world
443
00:14:30,526 --> 00:14:33,194
-
Joy to the world, yeah
-
Joy, joy
444
00:14:33,233 --> 00:14:35,066
To the world
445
00:14:35,093 --> 00:14:36,809
Joy to the world, yeah
446
00:14:37,671 --> 00:14:39,421
Are you okay?
447
00:14:39,797 --> 00:14:40,879
I want to leave.
448
00:14:40,904 --> 00:14:42,237
Then let's go.
449
00:14:44,017 --> 00:14:45,748
Lauren, wait.
450
00:14:46,107 --> 00:14:47,107
[sighs]
451
00:14:47,439 --> 00:14:48,939
Can we please talk?
452
00:14:49,325 --> 00:14:50,344
In private?
453
00:14:50,725 --> 00:14:52,109
Whatever you got to say to her,
454
00:14:52,134 --> 00:14:53,927
say it right there.
455
00:14:53,952 --> 00:14:55,068
Fine.
456
00:14:55,093 --> 00:14:56,509
Lauren, I'm so sorry.
457
00:14:56,558 --> 00:14:58,198
I swear, I didn't know I was coming here.
458
00:14:58,363 --> 00:14:59,943
I just knew I was going to
my girlfriend's work party.
459
00:14:59,968 --> 00:15:01,697
I wasn't trying to
throw her in your face.
460
00:15:01,974 --> 00:15:04,480
Why would I care if
you have a girlfriend?
461
00:15:04,505 --> 00:15:08,032
After all, I'm here
with my boyfriend, Liam.
462
00:15:08,552 --> 00:15:09,822
That's right. [chuckles]
463
00:15:09,847 --> 00:15:11,783
And we have four other
parties to hit tonight,
464
00:15:11,808 --> 00:15:13,998
so, uh, we should get going, babe.
465
00:15:14,170 --> 00:15:16,287
That's right, Boobear.
466
00:15:17,034 --> 00:15:18,917
Nice seeing you.
467
00:15:24,403 --> 00:15:25,736
Hey.
468
00:15:25,761 --> 00:15:27,161
I've been looking all over for you.
469
00:15:27,212 --> 00:15:30,046
I realized that I lost my phone.
470
00:15:30,274 --> 00:15:31,457
I'm sorry.
471
00:15:31,615 --> 00:15:33,639
I know that I got a
little gushy back there
472
00:15:33,664 --> 00:15:35,531
with all that "right one" stuff.
473
00:15:35,556 --> 00:15:37,006
I'm so embarrassed.
474
00:15:37,031 --> 00:15:38,531
Can we forget it?
475
00:15:38,796 --> 00:15:40,272
I don't want to forget about it.
476
00:15:40,799 --> 00:15:43,442
'Cause I... I feel the same way.
477
00:15:43,656 --> 00:15:44,718
You do?
478
00:15:46,418 --> 00:15:48,084
Oh.
479
00:15:48,626 --> 00:15:51,190
So what did you want to tell me earlier?
480
00:15:52,351 --> 00:15:53,974
Just that...
481
00:15:55,718 --> 00:15:58,214
I don't want to lose you.
482
00:15:58,998 --> 00:16:00,998
Oh, me neither.
483
00:16:01,408 --> 00:16:02,539
[sighs]
484
00:16:02,564 --> 00:16:05,364
So can we... be girlfriends?
485
00:16:05,664 --> 00:16:08,185
Yes, please.
486
00:16:09,890 --> 00:16:11,658
That guy did not take it well.
487
00:16:11,683 --> 00:16:13,874
Hope he doesn't jump off a bridge.
488
00:16:14,426 --> 00:16:16,786
I'm sorry for doubting you.
You were right this whole time.
489
00:16:16,811 --> 00:16:18,590
Well, I wish I wasn't.
490
00:16:19,230 --> 00:16:22,314
You must think I'm crazy
with all of my wacky schemes.
491
00:16:22,339 --> 00:16:23,008
No.
492
00:16:23,033 --> 00:16:23,843
I don't think you're crazy.
493
00:16:23,868 --> 00:16:25,405
I just think you work really hard
494
00:16:25,430 --> 00:16:27,713
to protect your best friend.
495
00:16:27,738 --> 00:16:29,538
And...
496
00:16:29,711 --> 00:16:32,468
I think I should be the one to tell Amy.
497
00:16:33,048 --> 00:16:34,498
What? Why?
498
00:16:34,523 --> 00:16:36,786
'Cause you two have been
through so much this year
499
00:16:37,486 --> 00:16:38,807
and there's a very high probability
500
00:16:38,832 --> 00:16:41,197
she's gonna shoot the messenger, so...
501
00:16:41,335 --> 00:16:43,491
let me be the messenger.
502
00:16:45,039 --> 00:16:48,469
But won't that ruin
your chances with Amy?
503
00:16:49,847 --> 00:16:51,884
I think I'll be okay.
504
00:16:51,909 --> 00:16:53,461
Patterns, by Tourist
505
00:16:55,899 --> 00:16:59,601
As plans unfold
506
00:17:00,089 --> 00:17:02,170
- We should go.
- Yeah.
507
00:17:06,349 --> 00:17:07,794
Your bedroom.
508
00:17:07,819 --> 00:17:10,753
Are you... Are you
moving up our sex date?
509
00:17:11,200 --> 00:17:12,816
You know, I've been
thinking a lot about that
510
00:17:12,841 --> 00:17:16,491
and I realized I should be
talking about it with you.
511
00:17:17,579 --> 00:17:19,579
You know, we don't
have to rush into this.
512
00:17:19,604 --> 00:17:20,903
Phew. I was...
513
00:17:21,002 --> 00:17:22,081
I was a little nervous.
514
00:17:22,106 --> 00:17:24,889
You know, I've never done this before.
515
00:17:24,963 --> 00:17:26,990
Oh, uh, that's cool.
516
00:17:27,015 --> 00:17:29,255
I didn't... I didn't know that.
517
00:17:29,280 --> 00:17:31,901
Man, I'm so glad we're
being honest with each other.
518
00:17:31,926 --> 00:17:32,926
Me too.
519
00:17:33,545 --> 00:17:34,804
I was sort of spinning out
520
00:17:34,829 --> 00:17:37,217
about what sex with you means.
521
00:17:37,348 --> 00:17:39,265
It's embarrassing, but
I had this dumb idea
522
00:17:39,290 --> 00:17:41,592
that someone was gonna
take away my gay card.
523
00:17:42,040 --> 00:17:44,074
I'm a gay man, Shane.
524
00:17:44,099 --> 00:17:45,488
If you don't see me as fully male,
525
00:17:45,513 --> 00:17:46,606
then maybe we shouldn't date.
526
00:17:46,608 --> 00:17:48,137
No, no, no. W-we should.
527
00:17:48,162 --> 00:17:50,253
I just... The words came out wrong.
528
00:17:50,278 --> 00:17:52,058
I thought I was ready for this. I'm not.
529
00:17:52,083 --> 00:17:54,666
- Hey, but let's talk.
- We just did.
530
00:18:00,366 --> 00:18:02,866
Thanks for playing
along in front of Theo.
531
00:18:02,891 --> 00:18:04,543
I know how much you hate lying.
532
00:18:04,568 --> 00:18:07,602
Yeah, well, I hate that guy more.
533
00:18:07,904 --> 00:18:09,809
[phone buzzing]
534
00:18:09,834 --> 00:18:12,565
Why do I have 2,000 notifications
535
00:18:12,590 --> 00:18:15,130
and why is the hashtag Booper blowing up?
536
00:18:15,238 --> 00:18:18,184
Wait, what? What's happening?
537
00:18:18,209 --> 00:18:19,501
Oh, my God.
538
00:18:19,526 --> 00:18:21,717
One of the New Lisbeths
posted that pic of us
539
00:18:21,742 --> 00:18:24,162
and now the whole Internet
thinks we're a couple.
540
00:18:24,187 --> 00:18:25,765
Damnit, New Lisbeths.
541
00:18:25,790 --> 00:18:27,021
That's a... That's an easy fix.
542
00:18:27,046 --> 00:18:28,441
Just tweet saying we're just friends.
543
00:18:28,621 --> 00:18:29,679
Right.
544
00:18:31,786 --> 00:18:33,269
Of course.
545
00:18:39,154 --> 00:18:40,542
I'm gonna go get us some eggnog
546
00:18:40,567 --> 00:18:42,272
so we can toast our official new status.
547
00:18:42,382 --> 00:18:45,506
Oh, nothing says "girlfriends"
like milk and whipped eggs.
548
00:18:47,553 --> 00:18:48,669
Amy,
549
00:18:48,694 --> 00:18:50,077
I thought about what you said
550
00:18:50,107 --> 00:18:51,962
and I can do better.
551
00:18:52,072 --> 00:18:53,688
I asked Ron to leave.
552
00:18:53,713 --> 00:18:55,756
It was inappropriate of
him to drum up business
553
00:18:55,781 --> 00:18:57,063
at our party.
554
00:18:57,088 --> 00:18:59,088
Well, I'm proud of you for moving on.
555
00:18:59,113 --> 00:19:02,814
Oh, and I'm proud of how
mature you're becoming.
556
00:19:02,839 --> 00:19:04,672
You seem so content.
557
00:19:04,697 --> 00:19:06,813
Sabrina really makes
you happy, doesn't she?
558
00:19:06,838 --> 00:19:08,338
Yeah, she does.
559
00:19:08,363 --> 00:19:10,780
Oh. [giggles]
560
00:19:10,908 --> 00:19:12,458
[sighs]
561
00:19:12,581 --> 00:19:13,900
Amy. Amy.
562
00:19:15,086 --> 00:19:17,392
Uh, there's something I have to tell you.
563
00:19:17,417 --> 00:19:19,732
Uh, you're not gonna like this,
564
00:19:19,757 --> 00:19:23,148
but Sabrina isn't who she says she is.
565
00:19:23,975 --> 00:19:25,057
Really?
566
00:19:25,478 --> 00:19:26,998
I would've expected this from Karma
567
00:19:27,023 --> 00:19:28,113
but not from you.
568
00:19:28,138 --> 00:19:30,015
Amy, please don't be mad at Felix.
569
00:19:30,040 --> 00:19:31,623
It's true. We have proof.
570
00:19:31,648 --> 00:19:33,067
Yeah, I didn't believe
it at first either...
571
00:19:33,092 --> 00:19:34,071
Okay. [door slams]
572
00:19:34,096 --> 00:19:35,758
- I don't want to hear this.
- Sabrina?
573
00:19:35,783 --> 00:19:37,177
Sabrina?
574
00:19:38,081 --> 00:19:39,396
So you're a lesbian now?
575
00:19:39,421 --> 00:19:41,692
- Evan.
- Who's this?
576
00:19:41,954 --> 00:19:43,251
Her boyfriend.
577
00:19:43,276 --> 00:19:45,076
- Oh.
- What?
578
00:19:47,836 --> 00:19:49,312
You said you made him up.
579
00:19:49,337 --> 00:19:50,186
I...
580
00:19:50,211 --> 00:19:52,545
You've been lying this whole time? Why?
581
00:19:52,951 --> 00:19:54,317
So she could get closer to you
582
00:19:54,342 --> 00:19:56,319
to push me out.
583
00:19:56,344 --> 00:19:58,411
[crowd murmuring]
584
00:19:59,652 --> 00:20:00,824
Is this true?
585
00:20:01,122 --> 00:20:03,908
Technically, at first, but
that's just because Karma was...
586
00:20:03,933 --> 00:20:05,314
- Get out.
- You have to let me explain.
587
00:20:05,339 --> 00:20:06,742
No! I don't want to listen to your lies
588
00:20:06,767 --> 00:20:08,979
- and I never want to see you again.
- But it was a mistake.
589
00:20:09,004 --> 00:20:11,421
A leopard never changes
her spots, remember?
590
00:20:18,782 --> 00:20:19,948
I'm so sorry.
591
00:20:19,973 --> 00:20:22,602
592
00:20:22,627 --> 00:20:24,215
Don't be.
593
00:20:24,828 --> 00:20:26,495
You saved me.
594
00:20:28,339 --> 00:20:31,301
Sync and corrected by ~LittleDuck~
www.addic7ed.com
595
00:20:31,351 --> 00:20:35,901
Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0
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