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www.tvsubtitles.net
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{\a6}Brooklyn
1985
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everybody****
4
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you,fill it up,just the bills
5
00:00:04,720 --> 00:00:07,390
When I was growing up,
crime was always on the move.
6
00:00:07,460 --> 00:00:09,320
The rest of you tellers move
away from those windows.
7
00:00:09,400 --> 00:00:13,930
It went from crime on tv to crime in the city...
8
00:00:14,230 --> 00:00:15,310
to crime in our house.
9
00:00:15,420 --> 00:00:16,290
So what's missin the television.
10
00:00:16,390 --> 00:00:17,000
the television.
11
00:00:17,070 --> 00:00:19,930
To my pareand the police,the house got robbed...
12
00:00:19,990 --> 00:00:22,560
to drew and tonya,the tv got kidnapped.
13
00:00:22,650 --> 00:00:25,260
Here,I sketched something for
you to give to the fbi.
14
00:00:25,340 --> 00:00:29,530
It was a 19-inch rca,serial number 1993ih.
15
00:00:29,580 --> 00:00:30,930
Do you think you can get it back?
16
00:00:30,980 --> 00:00:32,390
We'll try.
17
00:00:32,440 --> 00:00:33,080
What else?
18
00:00:33,170 --> 00:00:36,640
Well,we're still trying to figure it out,
but they took the stereo,
19
00:00:36,720 --> 00:00:41,350
all of our records including my autographed
james brown the payback album.
20
00:00:41,450 --> 00:00:42,770
Ooh,that's a collector's item.
21
00:00:42,980 --> 00:00:43,620
It's worth some money.
22
00:00:43,700 --> 00:00:44,530
They took my meat!
23
00:00:44,610 --> 00:00:45,300
What?
24
00:00:45,370 --> 00:00:46,400
All of it.
25
00:00:46,470 --> 00:00:48,920
Steaks,hamburgers,hot dogs,bologna.
26
00:00:49,000 --> 00:00:52,170
If they had stole that stuff earlier
maybe he wouldn't have the gout.
27
00:00:52,280 --> 00:00:53,680
Can you find out who did this?
28
00:00:53,780 --> 00:00:54,630
Doubtful.
29
00:00:54,750 --> 00:00:55,660
There's a lot of crime.
30
00:00:55,780 --> 00:00:58,100
Aren't you going to dust the place
for fingerprints,you know,
31
00:00:58,190 --> 00:01:00,290
canvas the neighborhood for witnesses,
32
00:01:00,380 --> 00:01:03,110
check with your snitches,
put your ears to the street,something?
33
00:01:03,200 --> 00:01:05,880
Lady,my shift ends in six minutes.
34
00:01:06,020 --> 00:01:07,930
Fill out this report.
35
00:01:08,010 --> 00:01:08,550
And that's it?
36
00:01:08,630 --> 00:01:09,180
That's it.
37
00:01:09,300 --> 00:01:10,500
So you're not going to help us at all?
38
00:01:10,580 --> 00:01:12,940
No,but we're here to comfort you.
39
00:01:13,010 --> 00:01:14,070
Forget this.
40
00:01:14,140 --> 00:01:15,870
I'm getting a gun.
41
00:01:15,960 --> 00:01:18,720
Julius,do you know
what would happen if we got a gun?
42
00:01:19,870 --> 00:01:21,880
Who ate the big piece of chicken?
43
00:01:22,810 --> 00:01:23,520
you?
44
00:01:23,800 --> 00:01:25,100
Baby girl?
45
00:01:27,740 --> 00:01:29,570
who left the damn toilet seat up?
46
00:01:29,680 --> 00:01:30,790
Huh?
47
00:01:33,530 --> 00:01:36,290
Who ate all the cereal?
48
00:01:38,470 --> 00:01:41,220
I wi blow your freakin' head off!
49
00:01:41,900 --> 00:01:43,120
I think we should get a dog.
50
00:01:43,190 --> 00:01:44,560
I'd always wanted a dog.
51
00:01:44,640 --> 00:01:46,440
My parents always said no.
52
00:01:46,510 --> 00:01:48,800
But maybe the robbery would
make them change their mind.
53
00:01:48,830 --> 00:01:52,050
For the umpteenth time,
chris,we are not getting a dog.
54
00:01:52,150 --> 00:01:53,460
Wishful thinking.
55
00:01:53,550 --> 00:01:54,260
The kid's right.
56
00:01:54,320 --> 00:01:58,830
If you really want to prect the house,
a guard dog is the best way to go.
57
00:02:02,900 --> 00:02:05,850
-I don't think he likes *
-he better like me.
58
00:02:05,940 --> 00:02:08,280
I paid $35 to have him vaccinated and neutered.
59
00:02:08,350 --> 00:02:09,920
Now we know why he's growling.
60
00:02:10,000 --> 00:02:11,320
Can we name him?
61
00:02:11,420 --> 00:02:13,380
He already has a name.
62
00:02:13,810 --> 00:02:15,300
Blackie.
63
00:02:15,400 --> 00:02:16,950
But he's brown.
64
00:02:17,020 --> 00:02:18,510
You black and you brown.
65
00:02:18,600 --> 00:02:19,880
Well,I want to give him a bath.
66
00:02:19,970 --> 00:02:22,370
Hey,hey,hey,not so fast.
67
00:02:22,440 --> 00:02:24,880
This dog needs to
be trained to protect this house.
68
00:02:24,920 --> 00:02:28,490
And since it was chris' idea,
it's his responsibility to feed him,
69
00:02:28,570 --> 00:02:31,630
bathe him,walk him and clean up his mess.
70
00:02:31,690 --> 00:02:35,240
She always said she ain't raising no babies.
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00:02:36,450 --> 00:02:38,730
everybody hates chris
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00:02:38,820 --> 00:02:40,910
Season 3 Episode 4
73
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-=www.ydy.com/bbs=-
Proudly Presents
74
00:02:44,960 --> 00:02:46,560
Sync: µÈ»Ëæ·ç
-=www.ydy.com/bbs=-
75
00:03:06,800 --> 00:03:07,380
♪♪♪♪
76
00:03:07,460 --> 00:03:10,700
Getting my first dog was like
getting a whole new lease on life.
77
00:03:10,790 --> 00:03:13,600
I guess you could say
it was like having a new friend.
78
00:03:13,700 --> 00:03:17,740
Hey,li'l dude,let me hold a dollar.
79
00:03:20,640 --> 00:03:22,380
Thanks.
80
00:03:23,390 --> 00:03:25,190
Go get my dollar.
81
00:03:30,520 --> 00:03:31,800
a friend with benefits.
82
00:03:31,830 --> 00:03:32,990
Yeah.
83
00:03:33,290 --> 00:03:35,280
Training blackie was going to be fun.
84
00:03:35,360 --> 00:03:36,830
I figured I'd start with the basics.
85
00:03:36,900 --> 00:03:39,870
Come here.
Come here.
86
00:03:40,590 --> 00:03:45,250
Jump.Jump.
J...jump.
87
00:03:45,470 --> 00:03:48,350
Speak,like...
arf.
88
00:03:48,460 --> 00:03:51,820
Uh...
roll over.
89
00:03:50,810 --> 00:03:52,360
{\a6}Like...
90
00:03:54,200 --> 00:03:57,420
roll...
roll over.
91
00:03:57,480 --> 00:04:01,290
I tried monkey see,monkey do,
which is useless with a dog.
92
00:04:04,100 --> 00:04:07,170
Hey,I made a complete list of what'missing.
93
00:04:07,520 --> 00:04:09,100
You didn't put a dishwasher on here.
94
00:04:09,190 --> 00:04:10,520
We don't have a dishwasher.
95
00:04:10,620 --> 00:04:11,890
We will if they find one.
96
00:04:11,980 --> 00:04:13,570
I'm calling the insurance company.
97
00:04:13,660 --> 00:04:15,910
No,no,no,I don't want my premiums going up.
98
00:04:16,000 --> 00:04:18,260
Insurance is just for emergencies.
99
00:04:18,340 --> 00:04:20,210
Well,julius,isn't this an emergency?
100
00:04:20,280 --> 00:04:22,030
They took the meat.
They took the tv.
101
00:04:22,120 --> 00:04:24,120
They took my james brown album.
102
00:04:24,210 --> 00:04:27,960
I mean,the only way they could take something else
is if they brought something back.
103
00:04:28,040 --> 00:04:31,720
Look,just let me look around the
neighborhood for our stuff first.
104
00:04:31,790 --> 00:04:34,110
Whoever did this can't be that far away.
105
00:04:34,190 --> 00:04:35,520
Well,how do you know that?
106
00:04:35,570 --> 00:04:37,080
Who comes to bed-stuy to steal?
107
00:04:37,170 --> 00:04:38,770
Crackheads,bowling ballhead.
108
00:04:38,870 --> 00:04:40,120
You go ahead and look around.
109
00:04:40,190 --> 00:04:43,520
In the meantime,
I'm putting this place on lockdown.
110
00:04:44,200 --> 00:04:48,910
Because the tv was stolen,drew and tonya tried
to get their fix any place they could.
111
00:04:49,000 --> 00:04:51,520
Captain kangaroo is so funny.
112
00:04:51,620 --> 00:04:53,580
I'm calling the cops,you peeping toms.
113
00:04:53,660 --> 00:04:55,470
Get out of here!
114
00:04:57,540 --> 00:04:58,310
A dog.
115
00:04:58,380 --> 00:04:59,260
That's so cool.
116
00:04:59,360 --> 00:05:02,330
Yeah,but I can't get him to do anything.
117
00:05:05,480 --> 00:05:07,270
Here's a couple of books on dog training.
118
00:05:07,350 --> 00:05:10,080
You just happen to have books
on dog training in your locker?
119
00:05:10,190 --> 00:05:11,790
I got lots of stf in here.
120
00:05:11,870 --> 00:05:12,940
Let's see...
121
00:05:13,110 --> 00:05:16,770
got a bartender's guide,
an auction catalog to fine crystal,
122
00:05:16,880 --> 00:05:21,690
mostly lalique,how to fly a helicopter,
the idiot's guide to tic-tac-toe,
123
00:05:21,800 --> 00:05:26,610
a gutenberg bible...
and a street guide to baghdad.
124
00:05:27,190 --> 00:05:28,220
You never know.
125
00:05:28,300 --> 00:05:32,270
That guidebook lists a lot more streets
than they have left in baghdad now.
126
00:05:32,360 --> 00:05:32,950
Well,thanks.
127
00:05:33,030 --> 00:05:33,860
These should help.
128
00:05:34,030 --> 00:05:36,380
Remember,you should be the
only one bonding with the dog.
129
00:05:36,410 --> 00:05:37,290
Why?
130
00:05:37,370 --> 00:05:40,580
To be a good watchdog,
he has to report to one master.
131
00:05:40,690 --> 00:05:43,010
Otherwise,he may befriend the bad guys.
132
00:05:43,060 --> 00:05:45,250
I was going to have to do what greg said.
133
00:05:45,320 --> 00:05:51,230
Even though being master to
something named blackie seemed like a bad idea.
134
00:05:53,300 --> 00:05:56,060
At home,my mother installed a ghetto alarm system.
135
00:05:56,170 --> 00:05:58,040
Hey,ms.Rochelle.
136
00:05:58,130 --> 00:05:59,500
What's going on?
137
00:05:59,560 --> 00:06:00,780
We got robbed.
138
00:06:00,840 --> 00:06:02,230
You got robbed?
When?
139
00:06:02,310 --> 00:06:03,380
Two nights ago.
140
00:06:03,510 --> 00:06:04,250
Where were you?
141
00:06:04,280 --> 00:06:05,280
I was at home.
142
00:06:05,350 --> 00:06:06,540
Didn't you hear anything?
143
00:06:06,610 --> 00:06:08,740
Oh,no,I was busy.
144
00:06:08,820 --> 00:06:10,570
Well,they cleaned out half the house.
145
00:06:10,640 --> 00:06:12,370
Well,the important thing is you got your health.
146
00:06:12,480 --> 00:06:14,260
Material things don't matter.
147
00:06:14,350 --> 00:06:16,820
'Cause after all,you can't take it with you.
148
00:06:16,940 --> 00:06:19,080
That's 'cause they took it all with them.
149
00:06:19,210 --> 00:06:23,290
The next person that walks through
this door is gonna hear bells a-jingling.
150
00:06:23,450 --> 00:06:25,640
Jingling bells.
151
00:06:26,680 --> 00:06:30,320
Let me show you something over there,okay?
152
00:06:31,080 --> 00:06:34,040
Well,see,if anybody tried
to get through the window...
153
00:06:34,160 --> 00:06:35,410
huh?
154
00:06:35,720 --> 00:06:36,820
See?
155
00:06:36,860 --> 00:06:38,670
Blocked by a broomstick.
156
00:06:38,780 --> 00:06:41,360
But do you really think they'd try to
come through a second-story window?
157
00:06:41,460 --> 00:06:43,030
People can see them from the street.
158
00:06:43,130 --> 00:06:44,930
Well,if they do,they can't get in.
159
00:06:44,980 --> 00:06:46,430
Oh,and we got a guard dog.
160
00:06:46,540 --> 00:06:49,590
So if anybody comes in this house,
they gonna leave in a casket.
161
00:06:49,690 --> 00:06:52,440
Caet-- now that's the type of talk I like to hear.
162
00:06:52,500 --> 00:06:53,480
Well,I'll keep my ears open.
163
00:06:53,570 --> 00:06:55,580
-And your doors locked.
-All right,see you now.
164
00:06:55,640 --> 00:06:57,020
-Hey,mr.Omar.
-Hey,how y'all doing?
165
00:06:57,070 --> 00:06:59,470
Hey,ma,can me and drew play with blackie?
166
00:06:59,580 --> 00:07:02,150
No,baby,he's a guard dog,not a pet.
167
00:07:02,240 --> 00:07:03,690
Drew: What are we supposed to do?
168
00:07:03,800 --> 00:07:04,870
We don't have a tv.
169
00:07:04,950 --> 00:07:05,670
We're bored.
170
00:07:05,750 --> 00:07:06,460
I don't know.
171
00:07:06,560 --> 00:07:08,010
Maybe read a book.
172
00:07:08,590 --> 00:07:09,250
Reading?
173
00:07:09,340 --> 00:07:11,000
Now that's positive.
174
00:07:11,600 --> 00:07:15,580
Tonya and drew couldn't watch tv,
but that didn't stop them from reading it.
175
00:07:15,660 --> 00:07:16,720
Check this out.
176
00:07:16,750 --> 00:07:18,330
"Matlock at 4:00.
177
00:07:18,430 --> 00:07:22,330
"When nashville star dolly parton get arrested
for murder,she turns to ben matlock.
178
00:07:22,390 --> 00:07:25,800
" Look at this: Moses gunn
is going to be on the jeffersons.
179
00:07:25,890 --> 00:07:29,530
Did you know little house on the prairie
was closed captioned for the hearing-impaired?
180
00:07:29,610 --> 00:07:33,340
Stephanie mills is going to
be on captain kangaroo.
181
00:07:33,430 --> 00:07:36,340
Meanwhile,my father tried to
get clues from the clueless.
182
00:07:36,450 --> 00:07:39,390
Look,I want information,
and word on the street is that you got some.
183
00:07:39,470 --> 00:07:40,290
Where'd you hear that from?
184
00:07:40,370 --> 00:07:41,140
Radio or something,man?
185
00:07:41,180 --> 00:07:43,670
Ain't got no damn tv,so I heard.
186
00:07:43,740 --> 00:07:47,340
Maybe you should talk to mr.Lincoln.
187
00:07:48,380 --> 00:07:49,620
A penny?
188
00:07:50,030 --> 00:07:50,850
You can keep your penny,man.
189
00:07:50,950 --> 00:07:51,910
I don't know nothing,man.
190
00:07:51,990 --> 00:07:52,960
I haven't heard anything.
191
00:07:53,050 --> 00:07:53,980
No one's told me anything.
192
00:07:54,110 --> 00:07:55,840
Hey,hey,hey,you sure?
193
00:07:55,930 --> 00:07:59,020
I mean,maybe you want to
talk to mr.Roosevelt,too.
194
00:07:59,560 --> 00:08:00,750
Know what?
195
00:08:00,830 --> 00:08:03,010
I would love to talk to
mr.Roosevelt,too.
196
00:08:03,100 --> 00:08:04,340
Yes,mr.President.
197
00:08:04,460 --> 00:08:06,680
Yeah,julius is standing right here.
198
00:08:06,780 --> 00:08:08,050
Yeah,yeah.
199
00:08:08,120 --> 00:08:09,400
He ain't got enough money.
200
00:08:09,490 --> 00:08:11,430
No,he's really short of money.
201
00:08:11,500 --> 00:08:12,550
Yeah,he's still anding here.
202
00:08:12,610 --> 00:08:13,840
I will tell him,mr.President.
203
00:08:13,930 --> 00:08:15,130
Okay,okay,I'll tell him.
204
00:08:15,160 --> 00:08:16,270
Bye-bye.
205
00:08:16,350 --> 00:08:21,420
Um,he says to go talk to kill moves 'cause
kill moves has his ear to the street.
206
00:08:21,850 --> 00:08:23,700
What do you hear,kill moves?
207
00:08:23,770 --> 00:08:26,370
Four riders...
two on ponies.
208
00:08:26,450 --> 00:08:28,780
No,about my place getting robbed.
209
00:08:28,870 --> 00:08:30,760
I ain't hear anything about that.
210
00:08:30,840 --> 00:08:33,870
But don't say I didn't warn you about
the coming indian attack.
211
00:08:36,320 --> 00:08:40,020
my father couldn't get our tv back,
and now he'd lost his chair.
212
00:08:40,100 --> 00:08:41,960
What are these things?
213
00:08:42,010 --> 00:08:44,060
They're sporks.
Aren't they great?
214
00:08:44,140 --> 00:08:46,690
You can eat a soup or a stea
without changing hands.
215
00:08:46,780 --> 00:08:47,980
Rochelle: Julius,I can't take this anymore.
216
00:08:48,080 --> 00:08:50,290
I feel like I'm tasting paper plate.
217
00:08:50,380 --> 00:08:51,900
I'm calling the insurance company.
218
00:08:51,990 --> 00:08:55,930
No,no,look,look,I already
got some of our stuff back.
219
00:08:56,850 --> 00:08:58,500
This is not our stuff.
220
00:08:58,570 --> 00:09:00,160
It's still a great picture.
221
00:09:00,230 --> 00:09:01,600
Dad,t dad,they're white people.
222
00:09:01,670 --> 00:09:03,890
Ok,I got it at a fire sale for 15 cents.
223
00:09:03,990 --> 00:09:05,330
But they're white people.
224
00:09:05,410 --> 00:09:07,440
Look,get a crayon and color them in.
225
00:09:07,530 --> 00:09:11,350
I'm calling the insurance company
before you replace me with a white woman.
226
00:09:11,430 --> 00:09:14,280
Right now,he's praying
she doesn't look in the freezer.
227
00:09:15,240 --> 00:09:16,310
♪♪♪♪
228
00:09:16,410 --> 00:09:18,450
mr.***Let me in!
Let me in!
229
00:09:18,530 --> 00:09:19,200
What is it?
230
00:09:19,300 --> 00:09:20,940
I've been robbed!
231
00:09:20,980 --> 00:09:22,000
Lord have mercy.
232
00:09:22,120 --> 00:09:24,590
They broke into my house
and took one of my widows.
233
00:09:24,730 --> 00:09:25,340
Mrs.Johnson?
234
00:09:25,430 --> 00:09:28,770
No,man,mrs.Williams.
The redbone.
235
00:09:28,860 --> 00:09:32,100
Do you know how hard it is to find a good redbone?
236
00:09:32,170 --> 00:09:34,440
Well,at least you got your health.
237
00:09:34,520 --> 00:09:36,320
Oh,that's supposed to be fuy?
238
00:09:36,420 --> 00:09:37,670
I'm just saying...
239
00:09:37,760 --> 00:09:39,650
you can't take it with you.
240
00:09:39,760 --> 00:09:41,620
I thought this place was supposed
to be protected.
241
00:09:41,710 --> 00:09:44,940
Y'all got bells on your doors,
broomsticks on your windows.
242
00:09:44,970 --> 00:09:45,760
Where were you?
243
00:09:45,860 --> 00:09:46,620
I was home.
244
00:09:46,710 --> 00:09:48,150
And you didn't hear nothing?
245
00:09:48,260 --> 00:09:50,720
I was busy,you know.
246
00:09:50,800 --> 00:09:52,470
You were busy?
247
00:09:52,550 --> 00:09:53,560
Okay...
248
00:09:53,680 --> 00:09:55,930
look,I can't live under these conditions,okay?
249
00:09:56,030 --> 00:10:00,180
If I don't get my redbone back,
I expect a reduction in my rent.
250
00:10:00,260 --> 00:10:01,480
Whoa,whoa,whoa,a reduction in your rent?
251
00:10:01,590 --> 00:10:02,760
Did I stutter?
252
00:10:02,820 --> 00:10:06,760
♪♪♪♪
253
00:10:09,560 --> 00:10:10,700
Blackie,get out of my chair!
254
00:10:10,790 --> 00:10:12,110
He's guarding it.
255
00:10:16,080 --> 00:10:18,730
Oh,lord,he done done it now!
256
00:10:18,890 --> 00:10:21,250
All right,now,chris,this is it.
257
00:10:21,360 --> 00:10:24,320
You got 48 hours to train that dog
or he's dog food.
258
00:10:24,420 --> 00:10:28,880
Dogs aren't used in dog food,
but this wasn't a good time to correct my father.
259
00:10:29,770 --> 00:10:32,720
I loved blackie,but I'm in trouble.
260
00:10:33,050 --> 00:10:33,970
Blackie,no!
261
00:10:34,160 --> 00:10:35,450
Stop!
Come back!
262
00:10:35,560 --> 00:10:37,680
I didn't know which one
was more dangerous:
263
00:10:37,770 --> 00:10:42,580
Blackie running into the street or running
over to that puerto rican fellow.
264
00:10:43,940 --> 00:10:44,920
Thanks,man.
265
00:10:45,000 --> 00:10:45,720
Oh,no problem.
266
00:10:45,810 --> 00:10:46,470
It's amazing.
267
00:10:46,560 --> 00:10:49,120
Every time i command him,he doesn't do anything.
268
00:10:49,380 --> 00:10:51,260
Sientate.
269
00:10:52,850 --> 00:10:54,700
Levantate.
270
00:10:54,840 --> 00:10:56,490
I guess he speaks puerto rican.
271
00:10:56,570 --> 00:10:57,810
But I don'T.
272
00:10:57,910 --> 00:10:59,390
Well,that's too bad.
273
00:10:59,490 --> 00:11:01,680
Hey,well,you live around here?
274
00:11:01,740 --> 00:11:02,980
I don't live too far.
275
00:11:03,020 --> 00:11:04,020
What's your name?
276
00:11:04,100 --> 00:11:04,870
I'm carlos.
277
00:11:05,010 --> 00:11:05,750
Chris.
278
00:11:05,780 --> 00:11:06,770
All right,chris.
279
00:11:06,940 --> 00:11:09,270
So you think you can teach me
some spanish so I can train him?
280
00:11:09,380 --> 00:11:10,360
Sure,yeah.
281
00:11:10,480 --> 00:11:14,180
While I was getting help
my parents needed help.
282
00:11:16,380 --> 00:11:19,300
I'm afraid your policy
doesn't cover all of your losses.
283
00:11:19,410 --> 00:11:20,330
What are you talking about?
284
00:11:20,370 --> 00:11:21,140
Why not?
285
00:11:21,270 --> 00:11:23,110
Well,let me make sure
I have all the facts first.
286
00:11:23,230 --> 00:11:24,570
Was there any wind damage?
287
00:11:24,600 --> 00:11:25,860
-No.
-Ah.
288
00:11:25,940 --> 00:11:28,150
That's too bad 'cause you're covered for tha
289
00:11:28,260 --> 00:11:29,790
we're covered for wind damage?
290
00:11:29,900 --> 00:11:32,520
Any fire or flood associated
with the loss?
291
00:11:32,600 --> 00:11:34,540
No,we got robbed.
292
00:11:34,620 --> 00:11:36,870
Well,then there's not much I can do.
293
00:11:36,940 --> 00:11:41,060
Although,we at mutual farms
appreciate your business.
294
00:11:41,180 --> 00:11:43,780
Their slogan was "you're
in white hands with mutual farms.
295
00:11:43,880 --> 00:11:45,230
" Wait.
What about the meat?
296
00:11:45,340 --> 00:11:48,930
I mean,we lost $117.43 worth of meat.
297
00:11:49,000 --> 00:11:49,650
I'm sorry.
298
00:11:49,760 --> 00:11:52,650
According to our records,
you opted out of the meat coverage.
299
00:11:52,750 --> 00:11:54,580
At the time,we didn't have any meat to cover.
300
00:11:54,680 --> 00:11:55,600
So let me get this straight.
301
00:11:55,700 --> 00:11:56,720
You're not paying us for the meat.
302
00:11:56,810 --> 00:12:00,490
You're not paying us for the stereo,
but what are we paying you for?
303
00:12:00,990 --> 00:12:02,470
Peace of mind.
304
00:12:02,590 --> 00:12:04,100
Peace of mind.
305
00:12:04,180 --> 00:12:05,520
We don't want peace of mind.
306
00:12:05,610 --> 00:12:06,870
We want a piece of furniture.
307
00:12:06,990 --> 00:12:08,930
I understand that,but...
308
00:12:09,030 --> 00:12:12,140
look here,mister,
we have been your customers over ten years.
309
00:12:12,210 --> 00:12:13,910
This is our first phone call to you.
310
00:12:13,980 --> 00:12:16,210
And believe me,
there have been many other problems.
311
00:12:16,740 --> 00:12:18,130
One time it ooded.
312
00:12:18,240 --> 00:12:21,310
Can we call the insurance company now?
313
00:12:21,400 --> 00:12:23,790
No.
Now we have a swimming pool.
314
00:12:24,440 --> 00:12:26,740
Another time a plane dropped a load.
315
00:12:26,810 --> 00:12:29,110
Can we call the insurance company now?
316
00:12:29,190 --> 00:12:30,520
No way.
317
00:12:30,620 --> 00:12:33,150
Now we have new luggage.
318
00:12:33,410 --> 00:12:36,320
E time,aliens took over.
319
00:12:37,270 --> 00:12:40,180
now can I call the insurance company?
320
00:12:40,310 --> 00:12:42,680
No,I've always wanted to go to another planet.
321
00:12:43,290 --> 00:12:45,480
Can't you do something to help?
322
00:12:45,590 --> 00:12:47,710
I'll see what I can do.
323
00:12:47,800 --> 00:12:49,940
Mm,peanut butter?
324
00:12:52,310 --> 00:12:54,960
He's lucky she didn't pull away any of his teeth.
325
00:13:00,190 --> 00:13:02,820
Negrito,bajate,sientate.
326
00:13:02,910 --> 00:13:04,970
What did you call him?
327
00:13:05,820 --> 00:13:06,890
What was that?
328
00:13:06,970 --> 00:13:09,000
Oh,training the dog in spanish.
329
00:13:09,030 --> 00:13:09,900
Why?
330
00:13:09,960 --> 00:13:11,890
It's part of the attack-dog training.
331
00:13:11,980 --> 00:13:16,430
Like you can only talk to a german shepherd
in german or irish wolfhound in irish.
332
00:13:16,540 --> 00:13:17,790
This is a puerto rican mutt.
333
00:13:17,890 --> 00:13:20,620
Well,I don't care what he speaks
as long as he stays out of my chair
334
00:13:20,650 --> 00:13:22,150
and you turn him into a killer.
335
00:13:22,260 --> 00:13:22,890
Bueno.
336
00:13:22,980 --> 00:13:25,090
♪ue?
Nada.
337
00:13:25,180 --> 00:13:28,930
Drew and tonya finally settled on
an activity they could both enjoy:
338
00:13:29,010 --> 00:13:30,060
Prank phone calls.
339
00:13:30,180 --> 00:13:31,600
Do you have pig's feet?
340
00:13:31,700 --> 00:13:33,110
Woman: Yes,yes,we do.
341
00:13:33,180 --> 00:13:35,850
Well,if you wear shoes,nobody would notice.
342
00:13:37,100 --> 00:13:38,500
hello?
343
00:13:38,530 --> 00:13:39,990
Is this mr.Freely?
344
00:13:40,070 --> 00:13:42,330
A mr.I.P.Freely?
345
00:13:43,620 --> 00:13:49,670
Hi,I'm just confirming that I have a hundred
large pieces ordered to mr.Omar's funeral home?
346
00:13:49,680 --> 00:13:50,370
Man: I'll check.
347
00:13:50,480 --> 00:13:52,350
Yes,okay.
Thank you.
348
00:13:52,720 --> 00:13:55,060
Tragic.
349
00:13:55,680 --> 00:13:56,830
-Help!
-91emergency.
350
00:13:56,910 --> 00:13:57,850
Help!
They're choking me!
351
00:13:57,930 --> 00:13:59,160
Come here,woman!
352
00:13:59,280 --> 00:14:00,050
{\a6}Shut up,girl!
353
00:13:59,980 --> 00:14:00,650
Come here!
354
00:14:01,310 --> 00:14:02,160
{\a6}Stay calm,ma'am.
355
00:14:02,120 --> 00:14:03,390
Hey,hey,get back here!
356
00:14:03,390 --> 00:14:08,380
While drew and tonya made crank calls,
the insurance company made the right call.
357
00:14:06,500 --> 00:14:09,420
{\a6}We got the settlement check
from the insurance company!
358
00:14:09,440 --> 00:14:10,700
-Let me see!
-We're going shopping,baby!
359
00:14:10,760 --> 00:14:11,980
We are going shopping!
360
00:14:12,060 --> 00:14:14,170
"$715.13"!
361
00:14:14,280 --> 00:14:17,390
We going shopping!
We going shopping!
362
00:14:17,650 --> 00:14:19,340
I didn't just learn spanish.
363
00:14:19,430 --> 00:14:21,430
I learned about a whole new world,
364
00:14:21,510 --> 00:14:26,200
a world that ironically wasn't too different
than the world I already knew.
365
00:14:26,380 --> 00:14:28,500
There was a puerto rican kill moves.
366
00:14:30,670 --> 00:14:32,400
There was a puerto rican doc.
367
00:14:32,470 --> 00:14:33,980
♪qui?
368
00:14:34,060 --> 00:14:35,210
There was a puerto rican risky.
369
00:14:35,320 --> 00:14:39,000
Ten dollars.
370
00:14:39,070 --> 00:14:40,890
Gracias.
Okay.
371
00:14:43,590 --> 00:14:45,750
There was even a puerto rican jerome.
372
00:14:45,870 --> 00:14:48,060
Hey,papi de otra calle.
373
00:14:48,170 --> 00:14:49,840
Let me hold un dollar,papa.
374
00:14:49,990 --> 00:14:53,420
Everything was different,
but getting robbed still hurt.
375
00:14:53,790 --> 00:14:55,920
Gracias,hermano.
376
00:14:59,730 --> 00:15:00,670
hey,carlos.
377
00:15:03,600 --> 00:15:04,920
Hey,mamita.
378
00:15:05,000 --> 00:15:07,130
Que lindo es el doggie?
379
00:15:07,170 --> 00:15:08,070
C*o se llama?
380
00:15:08,160 --> 00:15:09,410
Tell her his name.
381
00:15:09,490 --> 00:15:10,900
Oh,his name's blackie.
382
00:15:10,990 --> 00:15:12,370
Aye,negrito.
383
00:15:12,480 --> 00:15:13,970
Y tu nombre?
384
00:15:14,250 --> 00:15:15,330
Your name.
What's your name?
385
00:15:15,440 --> 00:15:16,670
Oh,my name's chris.
386
00:15:16,810 --> 00:15:18,860
Hola,chris.
I'm thalia.
387
00:15:18,950 --> 00:15:21,290
This is my amiga claudia,y my prima luz.
388
00:15:21,440 --> 00:15:22,810
This dog was magic.
389
00:15:22,910 --> 00:15:24,020
Girls liked me.
390
00:15:24,120 --> 00:15:25,590
Pretty puerto rican girls!
391
00:15:25,680 --> 00:15:27,100
How do you know carlos?
392
00:15:27,200 --> 00:15:31,290
Oh,well,he's teaching me spanish
so I can train blackie to be a guard dog.
393
00:15:33,110 --> 00:15:34,380
what's so funny?
394
00:15:34,480 --> 00:15:35,950
Blackie can't a guard dog.
395
00:15:36,050 --> 00:15:38,240
Why not?
396
00:15:38,340 --> 00:15:40,580
Give me that.
Watch this.Watch this.
397
00:15:40,740 --> 00:15:43,200
Blackie,ataca!
Ataca!
398
00:15:43,330 --> 00:15:47,340
To y'all that don't speak spanish,
that means "attack.
399
00:15:51,550 --> 00:15:53,070
Miralo.
miralo.
400
00:15:53,150 --> 00:15:54,570
Lassie,go get help.
401
00:15:54,660 --> 00:15:56,770
The puerto rican girls are laughing at me.
402
00:15:56,910 --> 00:15:58,890
This dog is a lover,not a fighter.
403
00:15:58,920 --> 00:16:00,960
In fact,blackie was such a lover,
404
00:16:01,050 --> 00:16:03,840
we have to go to commercial right now.
405
00:16:05,020 --> 00:16:06,920
Man,this is like nothingyou ever seen before.
406
00:16:07,050 --> 00:16:08,280
All the girls call me "papi.
407
00:16:08,380 --> 00:16:10,030
" Papi?You're so in there.
408
00:16:10,130 --> 00:16:10,920
♪ue paso,mami?
409
00:16:11,070 --> 00:16:12,540
Nada mucho,papi.
410
00:16:12,590 --> 00:16:13,500
See?
411
00:16:13,540 --> 00:16:15,220
That's so cool.
412
00:16:15,610 --> 00:16:18,240
But aren't you supposed to
be teaching blackie to attack intruders?
413
00:16:18,380 --> 00:16:19,870
I'm working on it.
414
00:16:20,030 --> 00:16:22,140
This book may help.
415
00:16:22,240 --> 00:16:26,110
Turn your pup into a perp: Teaching dogs to kill.
416
00:16:26,200 --> 00:16:27,990
Perfect.
417
00:16:29,120 --> 00:16:30,450
I was going to do everything
418
00:16:30,560 --> 00:16:33,700
I could to get the attack out of blackie.
419
00:17:01,320 --> 00:17:03,180
good boy.
420
00:17:08,270 --> 00:17:10,720
blackie couldn't fly if he was a bald eagle.
421
00:17:11,740 --> 00:17:14,620
There was only one more stop
in the blackie training program.
422
00:17:14,720 --> 00:17:15,870
Okay,so before we leave,
423
00:17:15,940 --> 00:17:18,120
he needs to smell all you guys
so he knows not to attack you.
424
00:17:18,250 --> 00:17:19,830
Will he attack mr.Omar?
425
00:17:19,970 --> 00:17:22,600
Oh,oh!Mr.Omar!
426
00:17:22,720 --> 00:17:25,640
Okay,so this is my sister tonya right here.
427
00:17:25,730 --> 00:17:27,990
And this is my brother drew.
428
00:17:28,790 --> 00:17:31,530
Okay,this is my mom rochelle right here.
429
00:17:31,630 --> 00:17:32,750
{\a6}Okay,okay,okay.
430
00:17:32,700 --> 00:17:36,550
Chris,hurry up so I can get to the store
before all the good stuff is gone.
431
00:17:36,640 --> 00:17:39,340
And this is my father julius.
432
00:17:39,450 --> 00:17:41,520
Hey!
433
00:17:41,620 --> 00:17:43,930
And this is mr.Omar,my neighbor.
434
00:17:44,040 --> 00:17:45,140
And what is that?
435
00:17:45,290 --> 00:17:48,720
Uh,these belong to some of my lady friends.
436
00:17:48,830 --> 00:17:50,160
I just want to make sure they're safe.
437
00:17:50,240 --> 00:17:52,730
The only dog they have to worry about is you.
438
00:17:52,830 --> 00:17:54,770
Come on,y'all.
439
00:17:55,550 --> 00:17:57,580
You like that red...
440
00:17:57,680 --> 00:17:59,830
I figured even if blackie wasn't a killer,
441
00:17:59,920 --> 00:18:01,170
what difference did it make?
442
00:18:01,280 --> 00:18:02,930
We'd already been robbed twice.
443
00:18:03,080 --> 00:18:05,240
What were the chances it would happen again?
444
00:18:07,610 --> 00:18:09,870
They broke in again?!
445
00:18:09,960 --> 00:18:11,510
Everybody get back!
446
00:18:11,720 --> 00:18:14,600
Let me go first in case they're still inside.
447
00:18:14,770 --> 00:18:17,860
Hey,give me something to use as a weapon.
448
00:18:19,380 --> 00:18:20,800
Hey,I got a gun!
449
00:18:20,950 --> 00:18:24,530
Yeah,it just looks like a frying pan.
450
00:18:26,750 --> 00:18:28,430
They took my bells?!
451
00:18:28,540 --> 00:18:29,840
Come on in!
452
00:18:30,620 --> 00:18:32,210
I cannot believe this!
453
00:18:32,340 --> 00:18:33,630
Wonder what they took this time.
454
00:18:33,750 --> 00:18:36,010
Y,at least they didn't take the tv digest.
455
00:18:36,110 --> 00:18:37,770
It doesn't look like anything is missing.
456
00:18:37,880 --> 00:18:39,370
Maybe blackie scared 'em off.
457
00:18:39,460 --> 00:18:40,770
I don't think so.
458
00:18:41,360 --> 00:18:42,460
Blackie's gone.
459
00:18:42,550 --> 00:18:44,490
They stole blackie?
460
00:18:45,530 --> 00:18:49,930
I love having a dog,and losing
blackie made me really depressed.
461
00:18:50,060 --> 00:18:53,080
Plus,hang the lassie,rin tin tin,sounder,
462
00:18:53,190 --> 00:18:56,190
turner & hooch marathon on tv didn't help.
463
00:18:56,310 --> 00:18:57,280
move,boy.
464
00:18:57,310 --> 00:18:59,850
-Who is it?!
-Police!
465
00:19:01,960 --> 00:19:03,820
Is this about the robbery?
466
00:19:03,950 --> 00:19:06,780
No,our emergency operators
traced several pran phone
467
00:19:06,890 --> 00:19:08,430
calls back to this number.
468
00:19:08,550 --> 00:19:09,500
Prank phone calls?
469
00:19:09,550 --> 00:19:10,140
Yes.
470
00:19:10,220 --> 00:19:13,260
Calls to I.P.Freely,pizza orders and finally,
471
00:19:13,370 --> 00:19:16,410
a distress call that a woman was
getting choked to death.
472
00:19:16,520 --> 00:19:17,740
That's not even funny.
I don't get it.
473
00:19:17,860 --> 00:19:20,210
It's absurdist.
You're not supposed to.
474
00:19:19,300 --> 00:19:20,930
{\a6}Chris,do you know anything about this?
475
00:19:20,980 --> 00:19:21,950
No.
476
00:19:22,000 --> 00:19:24,210
-Drew?
-What?
477
00:19:24,300 --> 00:19:26,170
-Tonya?
-Huh?
478
00:19:26,270 --> 00:19:29,020
Do y'all know anything about this?
479
00:19:29,130 --> 00:19:31,240
-About what?
-About what?
480
00:19:31,330 --> 00:19:33,220
About what?
481
00:19:33,320 --> 00:19:35,430
I'm sorry,officer.
This won't happen again.
482
00:19:35,570 --> 00:19:37,890
Trust me.
483
00:19:39,930 --> 00:19:42,240
So y'l like getting choked,huh?
484
00:19:43,340 --> 00:19:44,540
Oh,you better run.
485
00:19:44,650 --> 00:19:47,230
You better run as fast as you can.
486
00:19:47,840 --> 00:19:50,940
I thought I'd never see blackie again.
487
00:19:51,300 --> 00:19:52,910
Blackie,com?
est*s?
488
00:19:52,990 --> 00:19:53,930
How are you?
489
00:19:54,060 --> 00:19:56,260
And he thought he'd never seen me before.
490
00:19:56,380 --> 00:19:59,940
Blackie,remember,it's me,chris,tu amigo?
491
00:20:01,620 --> 00:20:04,110
hey,papi,tranquilo.
492
00:20:06,240 --> 00:20:08,710
Papi,tranquilo.
493
00:20:09,630 --> 00:20:11,880
No,no,no!
494
00:20:11,930 --> 00:20:16,480
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