All language subtitles for Everybody Hates Chris s02e08 Everybody Hates Thanksgiving.eng

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When I was a kid,
Thanksgiving was my favorite holiday.

All you had to do was eat...

Chris,
pass the macaroni and cheese.

...and sleep.

Everybody in my family
loved Thanksgiving,

except my mother,

because to her it was just more work.

But this year was
going to be different.

All right, guys, family conference.

I just want to let y'all know

that if you think all you're
going to do this Thanksgiving

is sit around and eat and sleep,
you got another think coming.

Uncle Louis is coming over

and I'm not doing all
the work by myself.

What do we have to do?

I want everybody to make a dish.

I'll make the rolls.

I can make the cranberry sauce.

Which means she can open up
a can and dump it in a bowl.

Chris, I want you to
make the mac and cheese.

I don't know
how to make mac and cheese.

And I don't want to be the one
to mess it up.

I like living here.

Next to turkey, the most important dish
at our Thanksgiving dinner

was the macaroni and cheese.

Making good mac and cheese
wasn't cooking, it was science.

This year's Nobel prize nominees are...

Dr. Wan, for the cure to cancer...

Dr. Stravinsky, for the
discovery of the missing link...

and Chris, for some good-ass
macaroni and cheese.

And the winner is...

That's okay, baby.
You'll do fine.

All you got to do
is follow the recipe.

Sounds to me like a
recipe for disaster.

2x08
Everybody Hates Thanksgiving

PreSync: YTET- =www. ydy. com/bbs=-
Synchro: Sixe

Everyboby Hates Chris
Season 2 Episode 8

Where've you been?

At the grocery store.

Foxy Brown sugar...

Telly Savalas eggs...

Dr. J stuffing...

Chuck Berry cranberry sauce?!

And a Larry Bird turkey.

That won't even fit into our oven.

These are name brands.
What's going on?

Nothing. Why?

Is this because your
brother's coming?

My Uncle Louis was
a successful chiropractor.

Since he was younger,

my father always felt
like he had to outdo him.

I'll have a beer.

- And you?
- I'll have a red wine.

I'll have a red wine, too.

A large.

Man, you wouldn't believe
the stress I'm under at work.

I just got 15 new patients.

Man, I got so much stress at work,

they had to hire another
guy to help me worry.

I got her for $150 below sticker.

- Really?
- Yeah.

I got my whole car for below $150.

That's $98.47 worth of groceries.

That's usually what he says.

Rochelle, we have family coming over.

I can't have them thinking
we can't afford nice things.

That's usually what she says.

Baby, why do you feel like
you have to compete with Louis?

This has nothing to do with Louis.

I just want to have a good dinner.

Class...

I've decided to give you a
holiday homework assignment.

Damn.

- Yes, Chris?
- But it's a holiday.

And a very special one, Chris.

So for your assignment,

I want you to talk to
family and friends,

and then write an essay

on what you're thankful
for this Thanksgiving.

I used to be thankful
for no homework.

Everybody, up, up, up!

- Get up!
- What? What happened?

Time to cook.

Do we have to do it now?

- I'm tired.
- Me, too.

Only ten hours 'till turkey time.

It's one second to what the
hell is wrong with you time.

What the hell is wrong with you?

Look, I need everybody's help.

If we're gonna do this,
we're gonna do this right.

Because my father really
wanted to impress his brother,

my dad was cooking like
a quarterback running plays.

Okay, Chris, while the macaroni
is boiling on the front burner

and you're grating the
cheese on the chopping board,

Tonya, I need you to break
right into the dining room

and prep the cranberry sauce.

Now while the sauce is jiggling,

Tonya and Drew, I need you
to cover setting the table,

while I scrimmage to
prepare the rest of the meal.

Now, Drew, I need
you to cut across

back into the kitchen,
bake the rolls,

and get them back to
the table in 15 minutes.

On three.

One, two, three...

Grease!

- What?
- Nothing.

Looks like you
got it all handled.

I think I'm gonna
go upstairs.

- But I need your help.
- No...

because if
something goes wrong,

I don't want you blaming me.

He's blaming
her right now.

While we got ready
for Thanksgiving,

Mr. Omar came by
for thanks-taking.

Hi, Ms. Rochelle.

Can I could borrow
a cup of flour?

Oh, sure, no problem.

Can I borrow a
cup of gravy?

Can I borrow a cup?

Mr. Omar, why don't you just come
over for Thanksgiving dinner?

I thought you'd never ask.
See you later.

Meanwhile, my Dad was
still cooking like

a quarterback running plays.

Hey, Chris, no, no, no. Long,
smooth strokes. Don't beat it.

- Did you butter the tops?
- No.

Well, then it's not ready
to go in the oven yet.

Here, put the butter on, gently.

No, no, no, put that
in a glass bowl.

But last year, we
used the plastic bowl.

- Last year, my brother wasn't coming.
- What's the difference?

The difference is, last year
my brother wasn't coming.

Now put that in a glass bowl.
Please?

What are you doing to that turkey?

That turkey's about to ask
for a happy ending.

My mother always said
if you massage the turkey,

then the meat will be more tender.

Don't put too much pepper on that.

Got it.

Hey, Dad, can we take a break?

Did Martin Luther
King, Jr. take a break?

Did Moses take a break?

Did Gandhi take a break?

He took a break from eating.

- That looks pretty good, Chris.
- Thanks, Dad.

Remember, two hours.
I got to put the turkey in next.

My mac and cheese looked so good

Gandhi would've
snuck himself a plate.

While my father was in the kitchen,
my mother had something cooking.

Yeah, come on over, Vanessa.

Juliuy is cooking.

His mother's recipes, child.

No, it's always room for one more.

Okay, see you later.

What are you doing?

Well, you always invite
people over when I cook,

so I figured I'll invite a few
people over since you're cooking.

Fine.

I'm going to take a quick nap.

Can you wake me up,
so I can put the turkey in

when Chris takes the macaroni out?

All right, baby.

Thank you, babe.

Since we got up so early,

it was the first
Thanksgiving in history

where people
took a nap before the turkey.

Of course she didn't
fall asleep on purpose,

but that didn't
matter to the oven.

That's not macaroni and cheese,

that's blackaroni and cheese.

That mac and cheese
looked how my father felt.

That's your mother's recipe?

How come you didn't wake me up?

Because you woke me up at 5:00 in the morning.

What are you going to do
about this mac and cheese?

I sent Chris down
to Doc's to get some more.

You sent Chris to look for
macaroni and cheese on Thanksgiving?

That's like trying to
find candles on Hanukkah.

Well, don't worry about it.
Look,

I'll start the turkey
and finish the cobbler.

Where are you going
to cook the mac and cheese?

In the oven.

- When?
- What are you talking about?

The turkey's gonna take
five hours at 300 degrees,

the mac and cheese is gonna
take two hours at 320 degrees,

then the cobbler's gonna
take 45 minutes at 425 degrees.

You've already lost two hours
with Three Mile Island here,

so I'd say we'll probably,

we'll be eating dinner around
about 1:30 tomorrow morning.

That's if nothing else goes wrong.

My mother was bad at math,

except when it came to
multiplying my father's headaches.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Hey, big bro.

- What's up, Louis.
- How you doing?

Hi, Vanessa.

How are you, Mr. Julius?

You know Mrs. Watkins.

Not like you do.

- Big man!
- Hey. All right.

Hey, go on in, go on in.

So, I didn't want
to show up empty-handed.

- So voilà
- Thank you.

What is it?

It smells delicious.

Uh-oh, watch her.

Ever since her husband died,

she's been eating like
it's going out of style.

They're organic green beans.

See, I toasted some almonds up

and then I crushed them

and drizzled on some olive
oil that I pressed myself.

You sound like you
went to chef school.

- No, I'm a chiropractor.
- He went to spine school.

You didn't tell me he went to college.

You didn't tell me you had a brother.

Hey, Uncle Louis!

What's up, sweetie?

Hey, big man.

Good seeing you.

Why they don't
treat me like that?

'Cause you don't have a job.

- Hey, where's Chris?
- He went out, he'll be back.

Everybody put your coats down

and, you know,
we'll get started.

You're looking for
macaroni on Thanksgiving Day?

Man, that's like looking
for candles on Hanukkah.

Well, I did make the mac
and cheese, but I burned it.

You don't have to worry.
I know just what to do.

You don't need macaroni and cheese

to make macaroni and cheese.

- You don't?
- No.

You can make macaroni and
cheese out of anything.

All you got to do is...

Whenever anyone says,
"All you have to do is..."

the next thing they say is
always something impossible.

Dismantling a bomb is easy.

All you have to do is
identify the ground wire,

pull out your cutters...

and snip.

You try it.

Base jumping is easy.

All you got to do is make
sure you have enough distance

from the base before
you pop your chute.

You try...

Juggling chainsaws is easy.

All you have to do is keep one
saw in the air at all times.

All you have to do is
learn to live with one hand.

You want me to go
get somebody or something?

Leave it in
for 96 minutes and that's it.

Simple.

Doc, I can't do all this.

Why don't you just come by
the house and make it yourself?

I mean, you can stay for dinner.

I'm working.

But I really need your help, Doc.

Maybe I can close early.

Back at home, while my father
was doing all the work,

his brother was
having all the fun.

Wherever he went, my Uncle
Louis was the life of the party.

He danced...

Don't get so excited.

...he sang...

He even spun plates.

But what he seemed to do
best, was irritate my father.

Don't you see me trying to
fit this turkey in the oven?

Oh, yeah, just move the rack.

- Move the rack?
- Just move the rack.

I'm sorry, forgive me,
I didn't go to college.

Where's that carving knife?

Julius man,
I'm just trying to help.

You want to help me?

Get back out there and
start singing and dancing again.

That's how you can help me.

What is your problem, man?

I'm sick of you,
that's my problem.

Ever since you come over here,
you been trying to make me look bad.

I go out of my way
to make a dinner for you,

and you out there doing
Ashford and Simpson.

I bought all these groceries

and even used Mom's recipes.

Who told you to use Mom's recipes?

You know Mama can't cook.

I didn't tell you to do any of this.
All I said was that I'm coming over.

And you're the one running around
here looking like the Galloping Gourmet.

Forget it. I'm done.

You can't stop cook...

You got people here, man.

They like you so much...

let's see how they
like your cooking.

happy thanksginving.

- Hi, Uncle Louis.
- Hey, Mr. Chris.

- How you doing, man?
- Good.

Well, who died?

My husband.

My condolences.

No, not just now.

It happened a
couple of weeks ago.

Yeah, he got mauled
by a bear at the circus.

Tragic.

- So you're a widow?
- Yes.

All right, now.
It's her third time.

You gonna be number four?
You better leave her alone.

So where you been, Chris?

Oh, I been with Doc.

He's going to make his
famous macaroni and cheese.

- That's what I'm talking about.
- Good.

Cook it fast. I'm hungry.

I'm sorry. I didn't know
it was that important to you.

It's... it's all right.

- Baby.
- What?

I think you broke the turkey.

If I didn't do something,

this was going to be the
most depressing Thanksgiving ever.

So...

Uncle Mike,
is your back still hurting?

Oh, yeah.
My back as been out for 11 years.

It's an old football injury.

I didn't know you played football.

I don't.
I was watching football

and fell off the couch.

Does your back hurt now?

- Yeah.
- Show me where.

Right here.

Right back there.

Yeah, right, right, right there.

That's your L-5.

I can fix that for you.

I don't know. I've been
knowing a lot of doctors

and they told me it was all chronic.

Chronic? What doctor has
he been going to-- Dr. Dre?

Doctors-- they don't know
what they're talking about.

All right, here, here. Ready?

I feel better.

Oh, good. Now you can get a job.

I'm not cured, Rochelle.

It's just in remission.

I'm next.

Cross your arms.

Okay, I'll get this out of here.

They look happy now,

but wait till he
sends them the bill.

While everyone was
inside feeling better,

my father was
outside feeling worse.

Don't throw that away.

Is that burnt mac and cheese?

Yeah. Why?

It's just the way I like it.

He wants that blackaroni,

'cause he's on that crackaroni.

You all right?

Yeah. You?

Me? Yeah.

- All right?
- All right.

- All right.
- All right!

Hungry?

Eat?

My father and uncle
loved each other,

and even though
they didn't always get along,

deep down inside here's what
they really wanted to say.

Hungry?

Eat?

We couldn't wait for the turkey,

so Doc's mac and cheese moved
from side dish to main course.

Rolls, mac and cheese,
cranberry sauce.

You know, I haven't had a meal
like this since I kicked my habit.

Yeah, I'm glad I don't have
to watch you at the store no more.

I know that's right.

You know what, this is the best
Thanksgiving I've had in years.

Not to mention the
fact you fixed my back.

- And these green beans, they good.
- Thank you.

Ooh, Doc, this macaroni
and cheese is fantastic.

It's the best
I've ever tasted.

The best you'll ever taste,

unless you invite me
to next Thanksgiving.

Hey, Rochelle, why I got to be
over where with the kids?

'Cause everybody at that table
lives with their mother.

'Cause only working
people at this table.

Oh, well, since you're all here,

I was wondering if you could
help me with my homework.

What do you need, baby?

I need to find out what everybody's
really thankful for this Thanksgiving.

Well, I'm thankful I didn't have to
eat any of your burnt mac and cheese.

I'm thankful for Carla,
Leslie, Pam, Christie,

Michelle, Tanisha, and Miss Patterson.

I'm thankful for Mrs. Tyler,
Mrs. Jackson, Mrs. Watkins,

Mrs. Turner, Mrs. Perkins
And Mrs. Patterson.

Well, I'thankful
that I don't have to take no mess,

because my man has two jobs.

I'm thankful my son has a job.

I'm thankful for the world's
greatest older brother, man,

and I mean that.

Big round of applause for the man
who made Thanksgiving possible.

I'm thankful I don't have to sit
with those kids no more.

I'm thankful I read
this book by Larry X.

I mean, this brother is so hip.

He breaks down
the real deal on Thanksgiving

as it pertains to the disenfranchised
minorities of this capitalist society.

And it's autographed, too.

- You better read it.
- Thanks.

While Doc had given me
some food for thought,

my father couldn't take
his thoughts off of food.

Come on, get up.

Tonya, wake up.

Chris, Chris, wake up.

Drew, Drew, get up.

Oh, Julius.

It's beautiful.

You didn't think he was going to
waste $95 worth of brand name food.

Even though I didn't like
the idea of homework over Thanksgiving

I did learn what
Thanksgiving was all about.

To me, Thanksgiving means
family and togetherness.

Thanksgiving came about when the
Pilgrims landed on Plymouth Rock.

The Indians greeted them,
provided them shelter,

taught them how to grow corn
and how to prepare for the winter.

They went on to cook one of the
greatest meals the pilgrims every ate.

And in appreciation
for showing them how to

prosper and survive
in this brave new world,

the pilgrims killed the Indians
and created a holiday in their honor.

So on this Thanksgiving,

I'm thankful for my family,
my friends,

but most importantly, I'm thankful
that I'm not a Native American.

Happy Thanksgiving.

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