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1
00:00:04,211 --> 00:00:05,544
All right.
2
00:00:05,579 --> 00:00:06,912
All right.
3
00:00:06,947 --> 00:00:10,141
Dreyf, please don't
give me that look.
4
00:00:10,884 --> 00:00:13,412
You can't go to england with us.
5
00:00:13,654 --> 00:00:14,831
Now, the airline only allows you
6
00:00:14,855 --> 00:00:16,254
to check 70-pound items.
7
00:00:16,290 --> 00:00:18,380
They'd have to cut you in half.
8
00:00:20,694 --> 00:00:22,894
Ooh, I'm going to
miss you so much.
9
00:00:22,930 --> 00:00:24,096
You know that?
10
00:00:24,131 --> 00:00:25,475
Yeah, but Laverne will
take good care of you.
11
00:00:25,499 --> 00:00:28,433
Girls, please, come on.
We're going to be late.
12
00:00:28,969 --> 00:00:30,610
- You're ready.
- Ready.
13
00:00:30,633 --> 00:00:32,833
Ready to visit the castle,
which bears our name.
14
00:00:32,868 --> 00:00:35,869
Ready to accept my place
among the aristocracy.
15
00:00:35,905 --> 00:00:37,905
God, I was born ready.
16
00:00:37,940 --> 00:00:40,534
You were also born
with eleven toes.
17
00:00:41,810 --> 00:00:44,304
That just means
there's more of me to love.
18
00:00:45,147 --> 00:00:48,148
Girls, look now.
This is very important to me.
19
00:00:48,183 --> 00:00:49,850
I'm going to receive
the sword of Weston
20
00:00:49,885 --> 00:00:51,218
on behalf of my father,
21
00:00:51,253 --> 00:00:53,753
and I want the both of you
to act like...
22
00:00:54,490 --> 00:00:57,414
Pick any two people
who act normal, all right?
23
00:00:58,060 --> 00:00:59,960
Hey, westons.
24
00:00:59,995 --> 00:01:01,506
Oh. Charley, come on.
We're out the door.
25
00:01:01,530 --> 00:01:02,696
Please, what do you want?
26
00:01:02,731 --> 00:01:04,918
Just one little thing
before you go.
27
00:01:04,981 --> 00:01:07,701
Please, take me to england
with you.
28
00:01:07,736 --> 00:01:09,136
Please. Please.
29
00:01:09,171 --> 00:01:10,370
Please.
30
00:01:10,406 --> 00:01:12,472
- No.
- Oh, come on, Harry.
31
00:01:12,508 --> 00:01:15,609
I always had this dream
to stroll along the thames,
32
00:01:15,644 --> 00:01:16,844
hear big Ben on a foggy night,
33
00:01:16,879 --> 00:01:19,438
and most of all,
boink Mary poppins.
34
00:01:22,618 --> 00:01:24,618
Charley, as beautiful
a dream as that is,
35
00:01:24,653 --> 00:01:25,886
you cannot be there.
36
00:01:25,921 --> 00:01:28,622
This is a reunion
for the Weston family only.
37
00:01:28,657 --> 00:01:30,168
Come on.
There you go, the cab.
38
00:01:30,192 --> 00:01:31,158
Let's go. Come on.
39
00:01:31,193 --> 00:01:32,817
- Shotgun!
- Oh, come on.
40
00:01:33,429 --> 00:01:35,225
Charley,
you pay attention to me.
41
00:01:35,464 --> 00:01:37,619
Now, Laverne's going to
come over to watch dreyfuss.
42
00:01:38,528 --> 00:01:40,847
Don't bother her.
I'm warning you.
43
00:01:41,203 --> 00:01:42,681
She's going through
a very rough divorce,
44
00:01:42,705 --> 00:01:45,762
and she's lonely,
and she's very, very vulnerable.
45
00:01:47,042 --> 00:01:48,842
- Gotcha.
- All right.
46
00:01:48,877 --> 00:01:50,644
We'll see you. Bye-bye, Charles.
47
00:01:50,679 --> 00:01:52,438
- Bye-bye.
- All right.
48
00:01:54,383 --> 00:01:56,416
Divorced, lonely, vulnerable.
49
00:01:56,452 --> 00:01:58,518
If it's so wrong,
50
00:01:58,554 --> 00:02:00,838
why do you make it so easy?
51
00:02:06,428 --> 00:02:10,263
Life goes on and so do we
52
00:02:10,299 --> 00:02:14,067
Just how we do it
is no mystery
53
00:02:14,103 --> 00:02:17,070
Sometimes the answer
can be hard to find
54
00:02:17,106 --> 00:02:18,338
Hard to find
55
00:02:18,374 --> 00:02:20,841
that's something
I will never be
56
00:02:20,876 --> 00:02:26,313
I'm always here
for anything you need
57
00:02:26,348 --> 00:02:29,750
Anything you need
58
00:02:29,785 --> 00:02:33,654
rain or shine,
I'll be the one
59
00:02:33,689 --> 00:02:37,924
To share it all
as life goes on
60
00:02:37,960 --> 00:02:43,697
We share it all
as life goes on
61
00:03:02,188 --> 00:03:04,221
Way to go, Carol.
You broke the door knocker.
62
00:03:04,256 --> 00:03:07,124
- Shut up.
- Stop it, the two of you.
63
00:03:07,159 --> 00:03:09,226
Come on, we'll just go inside.
64
00:03:09,261 --> 00:03:12,196
Hello?
65
00:03:12,231 --> 00:03:13,992
Anybody home?
66
00:03:15,201 --> 00:03:17,652
Look at this!
67
00:03:18,604 --> 00:03:20,537
This place is great.
68
00:03:20,573 --> 00:03:23,300
Oh, these are our roots, girls.
69
00:03:23,576 --> 00:03:25,476
This is where it all began.
70
00:03:25,511 --> 00:03:27,989
Somebody really ought to do
something about that moat.
71
00:03:28,037 --> 00:03:31,076
It smells like the men's room
at a Peter frampton concert.
72
00:03:32,218 --> 00:03:34,051
I wonder where everybody is.
73
00:03:34,086 --> 00:03:36,657
Look. Hey, maybe I should...
I should ring.
74
00:03:37,189 --> 00:03:39,848
Hey, check these guys out.
75
00:03:45,998 --> 00:03:49,250
My, god. These
are our forefathers.
76
00:03:51,070 --> 00:03:52,769
Are you seeing what I'm seeing?
77
00:03:52,805 --> 00:03:54,371
- What?
- It's uncanny.
78
00:03:54,406 --> 00:03:55,539
What?
79
00:03:55,574 --> 00:03:56,751
Do you know
these guys look like?
80
00:03:56,775 --> 00:03:59,168
Yes, me.
81
00:04:00,546 --> 00:04:01,678
No, not you.
82
00:04:01,714 --> 00:04:04,303
They look like Boris karloff.
83
00:04:05,284 --> 00:04:08,224
Come on. They don't
look like anybody.
84
00:04:08,729 --> 00:04:11,218
They're very,
very handsome though.
85
00:04:14,627 --> 00:04:16,326
Oh, dear. Dear. Dear.
86
00:04:16,362 --> 00:04:18,428
Pinch me, I'm dreaming.
87
00:04:18,464 --> 00:04:21,164
- Who are you?
- I'm basil, madam.
88
00:04:21,200 --> 00:04:26,336
Your... Butler.
Well, how do you do?
89
00:04:26,372 --> 00:04:27,782
I'm doctor Harry Weston.
These are my daughters.
90
00:04:27,806 --> 00:04:31,308
This is Carol and Barbara.
Ooh, our very own Butler.
91
00:04:31,343 --> 00:04:34,497
We bring you tidings
from the colonies.
92
00:04:35,381 --> 00:04:39,016
Oh, tidings.
You want to bring me something?
93
00:04:39,051 --> 00:04:41,118
Bring me a bottle
of Jack Daniels.
94
00:04:41,153 --> 00:04:44,836
Can't pass out
on tidings, now, can I?
95
00:04:45,157 --> 00:04:47,420
She broke your knocker, too.
96
00:04:48,727 --> 00:04:50,060
Oh, not to worry,
97
00:04:50,095 --> 00:04:51,795
you have merely
destroyed an object
98
00:04:51,830 --> 00:04:54,932
forged in the 15th century.
99
00:04:54,967 --> 00:04:57,340
It's priceless, irreplaceable.
100
00:04:58,270 --> 00:05:00,103
We're here
for the family reunion.
101
00:05:00,139 --> 00:05:02,906
I know why you're here, sir.
102
00:05:02,942 --> 00:05:07,294
Who do you think wrote out
all the bloody invitations?
103
00:05:08,198 --> 00:05:09,580
Have any other guests arrived?
104
00:05:09,615 --> 00:05:11,715
Oh, full of questions,
aren't we? Yes.
105
00:05:11,750 --> 00:05:14,284
The entire family
will be here tomorrow night.
106
00:05:14,320 --> 00:05:17,521
- All except one.
- Who's that?
107
00:05:17,556 --> 00:05:20,691
Myself, sir. Not invited, sir.
108
00:05:20,726 --> 00:05:22,893
- You're a Weston?
- I'm a moretti.
109
00:05:22,928 --> 00:05:25,362
My father was a Weston;
Married Weston.
110
00:05:25,397 --> 00:05:27,943
My mother, an Italian slut.
111
00:05:30,402 --> 00:05:35,806
- I don't understand.
- I'm like ray on Dallas.
112
00:05:35,841 --> 00:05:38,308
Oh, you're a bastard.
113
00:05:38,344 --> 00:05:40,477
Oh. Thank you, very much.
114
00:05:40,512 --> 00:05:41,645
Well, that's horrible.
115
00:05:41,680 --> 00:05:43,058
You mean to tell me
you were ostracized
116
00:05:43,082 --> 00:05:45,349
just because you were
born out of wedlock?
117
00:05:45,384 --> 00:05:47,943
That, and I have 11 toes.
118
00:05:49,688 --> 00:05:51,888
Now then,
the rules of the ceremony...
119
00:05:51,924 --> 00:05:52,889
rules?
120
00:05:52,925 --> 00:05:55,258
The banquet is tomorrow night
121
00:05:55,294 --> 00:05:58,695
and begins
when I ring the gong once,
122
00:05:58,731 --> 00:06:03,179
signifying you have 15 minutes
to get to the grand hall.
123
00:06:03,636 --> 00:06:07,938
Two gongs, dinner begins;
You receive the sword,
124
00:06:07,973 --> 00:06:09,973
ya-da-da-da-Dee.
125
00:06:10,009 --> 00:06:11,575
Three gongs, dinner is over.
126
00:06:11,610 --> 00:06:15,012
Four gongs means you must
vacate the castle immediately.
127
00:06:15,047 --> 00:06:17,147
Do not steal the towels.
128
00:06:17,182 --> 00:06:19,016
I am so excited.
129
00:06:19,051 --> 00:06:21,818
I can't believe
I'm getting the sword.
130
00:06:21,854 --> 00:06:24,275
You're not alone there, sir.
131
00:06:24,923 --> 00:06:29,850
Now, your rooms are the last two
in the west wing.
132
00:06:31,430 --> 00:06:32,948
Oh, yes.
133
00:06:33,432 --> 00:06:35,799
If there is any way
I can be of assistance,
134
00:06:35,834 --> 00:06:38,865
please, please
do not hesitate at all.
135
00:06:39,605 --> 00:06:42,472
Basil, could you help me
with my luggage?
136
00:06:42,508 --> 00:06:45,776
Did you not hear
the sarcastic tone in my voice?
137
00:06:45,811 --> 00:06:47,911
Or are you simply stupid?
138
00:06:47,946 --> 00:06:50,580
- Stupid.
- Okay.
139
00:06:51,316 --> 00:06:52,716
No, we'll find our own way.
140
00:06:52,751 --> 00:06:53,717
Thanks. Come on, girls.
141
00:06:53,752 --> 00:06:54,838
Let's go. Let's go.
142
00:07:07,232 --> 00:07:11,865
I am king of all I survey.
143
00:07:13,105 --> 00:07:16,034
King Harry.
Off with their heads.
144
00:07:17,409 --> 00:07:20,276
Nah, be good, king Harry.
Put their heads back on.
145
00:07:23,382 --> 00:07:24,669
Hey, Harry.
146
00:07:29,788 --> 00:07:31,788
Charley, what the hell
are you doing here?
147
00:07:31,824 --> 00:07:33,724
Now, before you get
all bent out of shape,
148
00:07:33,759 --> 00:07:36,293
let me tell you why I showed up
for this great occasion
149
00:07:36,328 --> 00:07:39,090
when you specifically told me
I wasn't welcome.
150
00:07:41,166 --> 00:07:42,283
I'm waiting.
151
00:07:43,335 --> 00:07:44,582
I'm thinking.
152
00:07:45,904 --> 00:07:47,842
- Charley!
- Okay. Okay.
153
00:07:48,373 --> 00:07:50,591
You're my best friend
in the whole world.
154
00:07:50,809 --> 00:07:52,586
My only friend, actually.
155
00:07:53,045 --> 00:07:55,445
And I wanted to be here for you
on your special day.
156
00:07:55,940 --> 00:07:57,325
How much is this
little trip of yours
157
00:07:57,349 --> 00:08:00,183
going to cost me, Charley?
Nothing.
158
00:08:00,219 --> 00:08:01,696
I put the whole thing
on my visa card,
159
00:08:01,720 --> 00:08:03,605
and then I declared chapter 11.
160
00:08:06,158 --> 00:08:07,824
How did you get past basil?
161
00:08:07,860 --> 00:08:10,446
I told him I was
your illegitimate son.
162
00:08:11,463 --> 00:08:12,807
Next thing I know,
the guy's hugging me,
163
00:08:12,831 --> 00:08:15,478
and showing me to the best room
in the castle.
164
00:08:17,402 --> 00:08:21,156
- Isn't that beautiful?
- It's pitch black, Harry.
165
00:08:21,621 --> 00:08:24,141
This precious stone
set in the silver sea,
166
00:08:24,176 --> 00:08:26,109
which serves it
in the office of a wall.
167
00:08:26,145 --> 00:08:28,879
This blessed plot,
this earth, this realm,
168
00:08:28,914 --> 00:08:30,204
this england.
169
00:08:31,049 --> 00:08:32,625
I understood england.
170
00:08:35,020 --> 00:08:38,155
This is the perfect way
to spend my vacation, lurlene.
171
00:08:38,190 --> 00:08:39,200
I don't have to go
back to hickory,
172
00:08:39,224 --> 00:08:40,357
and answer all them
173
00:08:40,392 --> 00:08:42,286
"what happened
to you and Nick" questions.
174
00:08:42,761 --> 00:08:45,040
Because the answer is, I'm fine.
175
00:08:45,334 --> 00:08:46,889
I am not lonely.
176
00:08:46,999 --> 00:08:48,017
What?
177
00:08:48,084 --> 00:08:50,610
We've been on the phone
six hours?
178
00:08:51,003 --> 00:08:53,765
They law, I better
get some sleep then.
179
00:08:54,006 --> 00:08:57,452
Hey... hey, lurlene,
thanks for lendin' an ear.
180
00:08:57,743 --> 00:08:59,231
Yeah. Okay.
181
00:08:59,511 --> 00:09:00,660
Bye-bye.
182
00:09:02,036 --> 00:09:04,681
Well, dreyfuss,
may as well go to bed,
183
00:09:04,716 --> 00:09:06,645
they's nothin' else
to do with my life.
184
00:09:07,886 --> 00:09:09,634
All right, 15 more minutes.
185
00:09:12,284 --> 00:09:15,026
Oh, it's that David letterman
stupid pet tricks.
186
00:09:16,088 --> 00:09:17,858
Lordy, that's a good 'un.
187
00:09:18,356 --> 00:09:20,147
Look at that pooch.
188
00:09:20,826 --> 00:09:23,495
Now, wouldn't that be somethin'
if you could do that?
189
00:09:24,663 --> 00:09:26,645
I bet I could teach you.
190
00:09:27,466 --> 00:09:31,434
Dreyfuss, we are gonna
surprise the doctor.
191
00:09:31,470 --> 00:09:33,759
You gonna learn to do
the trick, ain't ya?
192
00:09:37,142 --> 00:09:39,127
I'll take that as a yes.
193
00:09:40,453 --> 00:09:43,480
Oh, I can't wait to get out
into the countryside.
194
00:09:43,515 --> 00:09:45,615
I'll just have basil
bring the car around.
195
00:09:45,650 --> 00:09:46,983
Oh, god, I've waited all my life
196
00:09:47,018 --> 00:09:48,752
to have someone
bring the car around.
197
00:09:48,787 --> 00:09:50,131
Where should we go first?
198
00:09:50,155 --> 00:09:51,221
Stonehenge.
199
00:09:51,256 --> 00:09:52,756
The ancient assemblage
of megaliths
200
00:09:52,791 --> 00:09:54,791
erected by druids.
Wait a minute.
201
00:09:54,826 --> 00:09:57,159
I thought we were going to see
rod Stewart's castle.
202
00:09:57,496 --> 00:10:00,230
Whoa! Well, good afternoon,
my princesses.
203
00:10:00,265 --> 00:10:02,365
- Your lordship.
- Hey, daddy.
204
00:10:02,400 --> 00:10:03,566
Daddy, have you seen basil?
205
00:10:03,602 --> 00:10:05,602
No... no... no... no.
Where you girls off to?
206
00:10:05,637 --> 00:10:07,070
- Stonehenge.
- You want to come?
207
00:10:07,105 --> 00:10:08,905
No. No, I think
I just want to stroll
208
00:10:08,940 --> 00:10:10,607
- around the grounds.
- Cheerio.
209
00:10:10,642 --> 00:10:11,941
- Later.
- Okay.
210
00:10:11,977 --> 00:10:14,671
Hey, don't forget,
be home by first gong.
211
00:10:17,657 --> 00:10:18,993
Well, I think I'll go
down to the kennels
212
00:10:19,017 --> 00:10:21,102
and unleash my hounds.
213
00:10:22,020 --> 00:10:25,496
Then I'll go to the forest
and warn my foxes.
214
00:10:30,521 --> 00:10:33,530
Oh, my... my, let's all
ring for the Butler,
215
00:10:33,565 --> 00:10:35,415
then vanish into thin air.
216
00:10:35,447 --> 00:10:37,033
Let's all play practical jokes.
217
00:10:37,068 --> 00:10:41,123
Let's all bust the Butler's
grenades, shall we?
218
00:10:41,973 --> 00:10:46,476
Oh, madam seems to have
forgotten her picnic basket.
219
00:10:46,511 --> 00:10:48,202
Oh, dear.
220
00:10:48,470 --> 00:10:50,613
Well, she'll soon
be back for this.
221
00:10:50,649 --> 00:10:51,802
Yes.
222
00:11:05,363 --> 00:11:07,363
Are you okay?
223
00:11:07,399 --> 00:11:11,668
Well, that's just great!
I don't believe you!
224
00:11:11,703 --> 00:11:14,300
No wonder you have
a $4,000 deductible!
225
00:11:14,973 --> 00:11:16,339
Is it my fault
the stupid English
226
00:11:16,374 --> 00:11:17,985
put the wheel
on the wrong side of the car
227
00:11:18,009 --> 00:11:20,501
and make you drive
on the wrong side of the road?
228
00:11:21,001 --> 00:11:24,390
You hit a tree
that wasn't even on the road.
229
00:11:24,966 --> 00:11:26,549
This would've never happened
230
00:11:26,585 --> 00:11:27,862
if we would've gone
where I wanted to go.
231
00:11:27,886 --> 00:11:29,297
Oh, right, Barbara,
we're going to drive
232
00:11:29,321 --> 00:11:31,154
four hours to London
to see the places
233
00:11:31,189 --> 00:11:33,757
where Jack the ripper
knifed his victims.
234
00:11:34,993 --> 00:11:37,421
I don't knock your hobbies.
235
00:11:38,730 --> 00:11:39,963
Would you go?
236
00:11:39,998 --> 00:11:41,209
We're going to be late
for the ceremony.
237
00:11:41,233 --> 00:11:42,470
Fine.
238
00:11:43,034 --> 00:11:44,067
How can I drive?
239
00:11:44,102 --> 00:11:46,237
I can't see the steering wheel.
240
00:11:48,240 --> 00:11:51,155
Uh! That felt good.
241
00:11:53,265 --> 00:11:56,274
I bet Jack the ripper
got started with his sister.
242
00:12:04,548 --> 00:12:07,955
I accept this sword
on behalf of my father,
243
00:12:08,052 --> 00:12:09,821
Stanfield Weston.
244
00:12:10,387 --> 00:12:12,953
God. God, this is so exciting.
245
00:12:13,290 --> 00:12:15,960
Dad, you're
going to be so proud.
246
00:12:16,427 --> 00:12:17,826
Hey.
247
00:12:19,663 --> 00:12:21,071
Whoa!
248
00:12:24,034 --> 00:12:25,317
Hello?
249
00:12:26,070 --> 00:12:27,641
Hello?
250
00:12:28,872 --> 00:12:31,040
Hello, anybody?
251
00:12:31,356 --> 00:12:32,974
Oh, this is... anybody?
252
00:12:33,010 --> 00:12:35,143
No... no... no... no. Oh. Oh.
253
00:12:35,179 --> 00:12:36,645
Help.
254
00:12:36,680 --> 00:12:38,398
Anybody, help?
255
00:12:38,749 --> 00:12:43,696
Oh, stupid, stupid,
stupid, stupid!
256
00:12:51,564 --> 00:12:53,331
Uh! Argh!
257
00:12:53,366 --> 00:12:56,323
I'm right back
where I started from.
258
00:12:57,170 --> 00:12:59,676
I've been walking in circles
for hours.
259
00:13:02,776 --> 00:13:04,879
I'm never going to get
out of here.
260
00:13:05,912 --> 00:13:08,135
You probably said
the same thing.
261
00:13:09,050 --> 00:13:10,877
God, here I am...
262
00:13:11,151 --> 00:13:13,751
About to receive the sword
of Weston for my father,
263
00:13:13,787 --> 00:13:15,522
and I blew it.
264
00:13:19,526 --> 00:13:20,958
Great. First gong.
265
00:13:20,994 --> 00:13:23,835
Time to get ready,
and I'm stuck down here.
266
00:13:27,600 --> 00:13:29,143
Oh, my god.
267
00:13:29,469 --> 00:13:31,176
Eleven toes.
268
00:13:35,975 --> 00:13:39,410
Well, I see
you still haven't moved
269
00:13:39,445 --> 00:13:41,517
from your chair,
dreyfuss Weston.
270
00:13:42,783 --> 00:13:44,248
But I will not give up.
271
00:13:44,284 --> 00:13:47,056
You will learn
to ride this skateboard.
272
00:13:49,189 --> 00:13:51,043
Now, come on down
off that chair.
273
00:13:53,326 --> 00:13:54,529
All right.
274
00:13:55,795 --> 00:13:57,774
I'm gonna have to shame you
into doin' this.
275
00:14:02,902 --> 00:14:04,538
This is a real cat.
276
00:14:07,824 --> 00:14:09,090
Don't you believe me?
277
00:14:09,125 --> 00:14:10,336
Watch.
278
00:14:11,794 --> 00:14:13,951
Here, kitty, kitty,
kitty, kitty.
279
00:14:16,199 --> 00:14:17,531
Come here.
280
00:14:17,567 --> 00:14:19,723
Come to mama.
281
00:14:20,570 --> 00:14:21,851
Okay, now watch.
282
00:14:22,238 --> 00:14:24,423
Fluffy'll get up on the board.
283
00:14:25,475 --> 00:14:27,328
Ain't that somethin'?
284
00:14:29,648 --> 00:14:30,980
Cat's listenin'.
285
00:14:31,016 --> 00:14:32,215
Cat's obeyin'.
286
00:14:32,250 --> 00:14:34,335
Cat's real smart, dreyfuss.
287
00:14:35,053 --> 00:14:36,666
Okay. Now, looky here.
288
00:14:37,155 --> 00:14:39,173
Okay. On three.
289
00:14:39,624 --> 00:14:43,105
One, two, three!
290
00:14:46,097 --> 00:14:47,537
Okay, dreyfuss.
291
00:14:49,234 --> 00:14:50,578
Now, you've seen
what a cat can do.
292
00:14:50,602 --> 00:14:52,548
Let's see you strut your stuff.
293
00:14:53,872 --> 00:14:55,004
I swear you're like
294
00:14:55,040 --> 00:14:57,840
the hairiest paperweight
I have ever seen.
295
00:15:06,918 --> 00:15:08,351
Whoops! Sorry.
296
00:15:08,386 --> 00:15:10,787
I was looking for
Harry Weston's room.
297
00:15:10,822 --> 00:15:13,916
Oh, come. Come in.
298
00:15:16,061 --> 00:15:20,345
Pour us two glasses of Brandy
and bring me one, immediately.
299
00:15:21,199 --> 00:15:22,752
Yes.
300
00:15:28,206 --> 00:15:32,072
I'm gonna score in england.
301
00:15:35,914 --> 00:15:37,780
Your gorgeousness.
302
00:15:59,686 --> 00:16:02,847
You're wicked. I like you.
303
00:16:05,677 --> 00:16:08,404
Baroness Daphne Weston.
304
00:16:09,080 --> 00:16:10,600
Geh!
305
00:16:12,450 --> 00:16:13,549
Geh?
306
00:16:13,585 --> 00:16:16,867
Uh, yes.
307
00:16:17,188 --> 00:16:18,499
Geh.
308
00:16:18,936 --> 00:16:20,623
It's an American toast.
309
00:16:20,659 --> 00:16:24,372
Well, then, geh.
310
00:16:27,198 --> 00:16:31,700
Tell me,
my good-looking young man,
311
00:16:31,870 --> 00:16:33,351
do you have a title?
312
00:16:33,505 --> 00:16:35,405
Charles, third Duke of dietz.
313
00:16:35,440 --> 00:16:36,742
Oh.
314
00:16:37,676 --> 00:16:42,645
Then you know it's not easy
being aristocracy.
315
00:16:43,648 --> 00:16:45,882
But the burdens we must bear.
316
00:16:45,917 --> 00:16:47,583
Burdens.
317
00:16:47,619 --> 00:16:48,785
Terrible burdens.
318
00:16:48,820 --> 00:16:51,154
I mean, how many times a day
can you say
319
00:16:51,189 --> 00:16:52,355
"whip him till he bleeds"
320
00:16:52,390 --> 00:16:55,308
and still feel
really good about yourself?
321
00:16:56,528 --> 00:16:57,851
Five.
322
00:17:00,331 --> 00:17:01,614
Five.
323
00:17:02,534 --> 00:17:06,135
Well, I got to go.
I... i... i should find Harry.
324
00:17:06,171 --> 00:17:07,670
Oh. Well, perhaps
I can help you.
325
00:17:07,706 --> 00:17:09,453
What does your friend,
Harry, look like?
326
00:17:09,485 --> 00:17:10,940
Well, he looks a lot like...
327
00:17:10,975 --> 00:17:12,215
Geh!
328
00:17:13,812 --> 00:17:15,349
Geh!
329
00:17:18,850 --> 00:17:20,683
Well, thanks for the vino.
330
00:17:20,719 --> 00:17:23,169
No, you mustn't leave.
331
00:17:23,388 --> 00:17:25,071
Yes, I must.
332
00:17:25,223 --> 00:17:29,234
I, the baroness Daphne Weston,
command you stay.
333
00:17:31,029 --> 00:17:35,164
Stay, and have your way with me,
and I with you.
334
00:17:35,200 --> 00:17:36,899
Ooh!
335
00:17:38,658 --> 00:17:40,236
Oh, you wouldn't... you...
336
00:17:40,271 --> 00:17:42,638
You wouldn't want to have
your way with me, my way.
337
00:17:42,674 --> 00:17:47,657
Oh. Oh. Are you a Nancy boy?
338
00:17:49,681 --> 00:17:51,851
A little more pressure,
I'm there.
339
00:17:53,151 --> 00:17:57,203
Let's find out.
Oh, come, my silly Duke.
340
00:17:57,244 --> 00:18:00,056
Oh, oh, you're going
to tire me out
341
00:18:00,091 --> 00:18:02,710
before you tire me out.
342
00:18:04,416 --> 00:18:07,994
Damn.
343
00:18:08,299 --> 00:18:11,209
The banquet begins;
Come quickly.
344
00:18:11,569 --> 00:18:12,954
My hand.
345
00:18:13,538 --> 00:18:14,926
What about it?
346
00:18:15,707 --> 00:18:17,659
Take it, you idiot.
347
00:18:18,737 --> 00:18:20,389
That's better.
348
00:18:20,940 --> 00:18:23,034
That's much better.
349
00:18:23,089 --> 00:18:25,727
I see you bending to my will.
350
00:18:26,834 --> 00:18:30,369
They all do... eventually.
351
00:18:36,044 --> 00:18:37,691
Oh, my god.
352
00:18:38,446 --> 00:18:40,379
I'm gonna score in england.
353
00:18:40,415 --> 00:18:42,552
Don't! Silly!
354
00:18:42,583 --> 00:18:46,485
You push off
with the right foot and go.
355
00:18:46,521 --> 00:18:48,177
Whee! Isn't this fun?
356
00:18:56,330 --> 00:18:57,821
Nothin'.
357
00:18:58,806 --> 00:18:59,865
Okay, that's it.
358
00:18:59,901 --> 00:19:00,938
You win.
359
00:19:01,636 --> 00:19:03,836
I am too tired to go on.
360
00:19:03,871 --> 00:19:06,405
Laverne higby
is a-throwin' in the towel.
361
00:19:06,441 --> 00:19:08,346
Beat by a dog.
362
00:19:22,445 --> 00:19:23,760
Daddy?
363
00:19:23,991 --> 00:19:25,091
Daddy?
364
00:19:25,126 --> 00:19:27,693
We missed him.
I want to see stonehenge.
365
00:19:27,729 --> 00:19:29,462
I want to see stonehenge.
366
00:19:29,509 --> 00:19:31,397
We'll have to meet daddy
at the grand hall.
367
00:19:31,432 --> 00:19:33,076
We don't know where it is.
368
00:19:33,501 --> 00:19:34,633
Let's ask basil.
369
00:19:34,669 --> 00:19:36,368
Oh, please.
He calls himself a Butler?
370
00:19:36,404 --> 00:19:39,057
Look at this; He doesn't even
keep the room properly.
371
00:19:40,708 --> 00:19:42,708
Carol, a secret passageway.
372
00:19:42,744 --> 00:19:44,914
- Girls?
- Daddy?
373
00:19:45,079 --> 00:19:47,103
Don't come in here!
374
00:19:49,782 --> 00:19:51,584
Daddy, what is this place?
375
00:19:51,619 --> 00:19:53,419
I believe it's called
a dungeon, dear.
376
00:19:53,454 --> 00:19:56,589
Daddy, I know how boys
like to explore dark places,
377
00:19:56,624 --> 00:19:58,302
but don't you think
we should go to the banquet?
378
00:19:58,326 --> 00:19:59,759
- Yes.
- Then why don't we?
379
00:19:59,794 --> 00:20:02,925
- Because we're trapped.
- We're trapped in a dungeon?
380
00:20:03,002 --> 00:20:04,096
Cool.
381
00:20:07,568 --> 00:20:09,001
Dammit! That's it. Three gongs.
382
00:20:09,036 --> 00:20:10,202
The banquet's over.
383
00:20:10,238 --> 00:20:11,482
The sword's been passed
to somebody else.
384
00:20:11,506 --> 00:20:13,205
My father's gonna kill me.
385
00:20:13,241 --> 00:20:14,673
Well, this is terrible.
386
00:20:14,709 --> 00:20:16,575
I mean, this whole thing's
been for nothing.
387
00:20:16,611 --> 00:20:19,109
We never even got to meet
the family.
388
00:20:19,981 --> 00:20:21,480
Wait, wait, wait, wait.
389
00:20:21,516 --> 00:20:24,350
You know, maybe we're making
too big a thing of all this.
390
00:20:24,385 --> 00:20:26,152
I mean, we're here.
391
00:20:26,187 --> 00:20:29,457
We got to see
our ancestral home, our roots.
392
00:20:30,666 --> 00:20:33,184
And we're together, as a family.
393
00:20:34,303 --> 00:20:36,235
That's the important thing.
394
00:20:36,438 --> 00:20:38,305
Dammit.
395
00:20:38,340 --> 00:20:41,008
I want that sword.
I want that sword so bad.
396
00:20:41,043 --> 00:20:42,209
Dammit. Dammit.
397
00:20:42,244 --> 00:20:46,613
Dammit.
398
00:20:46,649 --> 00:20:48,348
What did four gongs
mean again, daddy?
399
00:20:48,384 --> 00:20:50,320
Everyone's leaving the castle.
400
00:20:50,359 --> 00:20:52,157
Then we really are trapped.
401
00:20:52,195 --> 00:20:54,521
Help! Help! Help!
402
00:20:54,556 --> 00:20:56,890
Oh, where's my knight
in shining armor?
403
00:20:58,540 --> 00:21:01,415
Boy, I can't believe
I sat in my mashed potatoes.
404
00:21:01,864 --> 00:21:04,131
Charley,
don't let that door close.
405
00:21:04,166 --> 00:21:07,634
Hey, any jerk who's ever seen
an abbott and costello movie
406
00:21:07,670 --> 00:21:08,935
knows you don't walk through
407
00:21:08,971 --> 00:21:10,871
a secret passage
without jammin' it.
408
00:21:10,906 --> 00:21:12,706
I got a chair holding it open.
409
00:21:12,741 --> 00:21:15,008
Wait a minute, I got a surprise.
410
00:21:15,044 --> 00:21:18,336
Ta-da! The sword of Weston.
411
00:21:18,847 --> 00:21:21,548
Charley, how did you do it?
412
00:21:21,583 --> 00:21:22,983
I got shanghaied to the banquet
413
00:21:23,018 --> 00:21:24,685
by your cousin, Daphne.
414
00:21:24,720 --> 00:21:26,607
By the way,
she looks just like...
415
00:21:27,656 --> 00:21:28,980
Geh.
416
00:21:29,625 --> 00:21:32,225
Anyway, being your
illegitimate son,
417
00:21:32,261 --> 00:21:34,494
I received the sword
in a beautiful ceremony.
418
00:21:34,530 --> 00:21:36,029
Oh, this is wonderful... won...
419
00:21:36,065 --> 00:21:37,342
Harry, Harry,
let me give you the sword
420
00:21:37,366 --> 00:21:38,532
the way it was given to me.
421
00:21:38,567 --> 00:21:40,546
The first thing you do
is you kneel.
422
00:21:43,105 --> 00:21:45,706
The sword touches
your right shoulder
423
00:21:45,741 --> 00:21:47,110
to give you strength.
424
00:21:47,241 --> 00:21:49,557
The sword touches
your left shoulder,
425
00:21:49,678 --> 00:21:52,045
so you may temper your strength
with Patience.
426
00:21:52,081 --> 00:21:55,334
The sword touches your head
to give you wisdom.
427
00:21:55,384 --> 00:21:59,785
Rise, sir Harry,
keeper of the sword of Weston.
428
00:22:01,256 --> 00:22:02,222
All right. Thank you.
429
00:22:02,257 --> 00:22:03,824
- I am truly honored.
- Ah!
430
00:22:03,859 --> 00:22:06,607
That was beautiful.
That was so touching.
431
00:22:07,559 --> 00:22:10,764
Hello? Are there
any westons down there?
432
00:22:10,799 --> 00:22:11,765
Yes!
433
00:22:11,800 --> 00:22:13,200
Basil, we're on our way up.
434
00:22:14,632 --> 00:22:16,123
Oops.
435
00:22:20,480 --> 00:22:23,792
Oh, being a bastard
does have its little rewards.
436
00:22:30,469 --> 00:22:31,765
Oh!
437
00:22:31,805 --> 00:22:33,172
Come on. Cut it out.
438
00:22:33,216 --> 00:22:34,518
Joke's over.
439
00:22:35,758 --> 00:22:36,898
Let me go.
440
00:22:36,933 --> 00:22:38,199
I'll call basil.
441
00:22:38,235 --> 00:22:39,801
Oh, it's quite pointless.
442
00:22:39,836 --> 00:22:41,755
I bribed the boob.
443
00:22:41,891 --> 00:22:44,367
It's just you and I,
my little Duke.
444
00:22:44,641 --> 00:22:46,564
Just you and I.
445
00:22:47,878 --> 00:22:50,245
Anything special
I can do for you?
446
00:22:50,280 --> 00:22:51,302
Yes.
447
00:22:51,434 --> 00:22:53,234
Get me a blindfold.
448
00:22:53,925 --> 00:22:57,585
- Geh.
- Oh, geh!
449
00:22:57,635 --> 00:23:02,185
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