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1
00:00:01,000 --> 00:00:04,074
Subtitles downloaded from www.OpenSubtitles.org
2
00:00:06,500 --> 00:00:08,854
See this?
Do you see it?!
3
00:00:11,004 --> 00:00:13,073
Move! Man down!
4
00:00:14,667 --> 00:00:16,414
3 MINUTES EARLIER
5
00:00:16,433 --> 00:00:19,497
All right, guys, Angles,
let's shag some flies.
6
00:00:19,498 --> 00:00:21,003
Terry Jr.: Yeah,
I don't know about this.
7
00:00:21,004 --> 00:00:23,439
We had three injuries
just running out of the dugout.
8
00:00:23,440 --> 00:00:24,707
What are they gonna do
during a game?
9
00:00:24,708 --> 00:00:25,925
They're gonna do
what they always do...
10
00:00:25,959 --> 00:00:27,426
Yell "you got it"
and get out of the way.
11
00:00:27,460 --> 00:00:28,861
Come on, give me.
12
00:00:30,357 --> 00:00:31,891
ALL: I got it! I got it! I got it!
I got it!
13
00:00:31,942 --> 00:00:34,033
- You got it!
- You got it!
14
00:00:35,846 --> 00:00:37,513
You know, dick,
as safety officer,
15
00:00:37,547 --> 00:00:41,534
it really makes me happy to see
your league embracing safety.
16
00:00:41,568 --> 00:00:44,353
Yep. Just like I'd like
to embrace my wife...
17
00:00:44,371 --> 00:00:46,205
If she ever comes back.
18
00:00:46,256 --> 00:00:48,029
Anyway, high marks
all across the board.
19
00:00:48,041 --> 00:00:50,041
Thank you, and I'm sorry
about Emma, Sheldon,
20
00:00:50,060 --> 00:00:51,344
and, uh, I'd love
to take credit
21
00:00:51,395 --> 00:00:54,313
for how safe it is out here,
but, you know.
22
00:00:54,364 --> 00:00:56,149
Ah, who are we kidding?
This is all me.
23
00:00:56,200 --> 00:00:57,700
[ Both laugh ]
24
00:00:57,734 --> 00:01:00,470
- Well, practices have really been
a pleasure to watch. - Yep.
25
00:01:00,504 --> 00:01:03,439
Boy, it's miles ahead of how it was
before you took over in '09.
26
00:01:03,474 --> 00:01:06,292
Yeah, I can't believe
that Goldberg kid lost his hand.
27
00:01:06,326 --> 00:01:09,562
Man. You'd think chain link would
be a little more forgiving.
28
00:01:09,596 --> 00:01:12,851
All right, Dong. Remember
what we practiced now.
29
00:01:12,854 --> 00:01:14,788
Shade your eyes
with the glove,
30
00:01:14,839 --> 00:01:16,739
watch it, catch it.
31
00:01:16,759 --> 00:01:18,843
Okay, Cannon. Got it.
32
00:01:24,966 --> 00:01:26,800
Uh.
33
00:01:26,851 --> 00:01:28,719
[ Moaning ]
34
00:01:28,753 --> 00:01:30,721
I'm back
35
00:01:35,564 --> 00:01:38,564
Synced by Reef
www.addic7ed.com
36
00:01:38,880 --> 00:01:41,118
Season 1, Episode 7
"Safety Squeeze"
37
00:01:42,266 --> 00:01:44,853
Come on. Come on, buddy.
Wake up. You all right?
38
00:01:44,854 --> 00:01:48,023
He's dead.
I've seen this before.
39
00:01:48,074 --> 00:01:51,327
- We need a fixer.
- No, see? See? He's not dead.
40
00:01:51,361 --> 00:01:54,780
That head's 10% brain
and 90%... Something else.
41
00:01:54,814 --> 00:01:56,982
Here, come here.
Put this on your head.
42
00:01:57,000 --> 00:01:58,617
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!
Hang on.
43
00:01:58,651 --> 00:02:01,520
Are you offering an alcoholic
beverage to a minor, Cannon,
44
00:02:01,538 --> 00:02:03,339
in front of
our regional safety officer?
45
00:02:03,373 --> 00:02:05,157
Am I wearing
clown shoes?
46
00:02:05,175 --> 00:02:07,159
The pi?ata on this can
turned red.
47
00:02:07,177 --> 00:02:09,178
That means it's ice-cold.
You get that?
48
00:02:09,212 --> 00:02:10,713
That is
completely unacceptable.
49
00:02:10,764 --> 00:02:12,348
- Where's your medical bag?
- Yeah.
50
00:02:12,382 --> 00:02:14,717
Move! Man down!
51
00:02:14,768 --> 00:02:16,635
Hey, hey. You're gonna be okay,
buddy. Here.
52
00:02:16,669 --> 00:02:19,033
It's not half as bad as yesterday.
Or the day before.
53
00:02:19,055 --> 00:02:20,806
Or the time you ate
the rosin bag.
54
00:02:20,840 --> 00:02:23,435
Angles, take a lap while
we figure this thing out.
55
00:02:23,443 --> 00:02:26,822
You, sir, are completely out of touch
with the safety of these kids.
56
00:02:26,824 --> 00:02:29,909
Yep. He's a human pipe bomb.
I've been saying it for weeks.
57
00:02:29,943 --> 00:02:31,194
And who exactly
are you?
58
00:02:31,228 --> 00:02:34,230
This is Sheldon Bickell.
He's the regional safety officer.
59
00:02:34,248 --> 00:02:36,795
I knew, uh,
an Emma Bickell.
60
00:02:37,167 --> 00:02:39,452
She was
a very unhappy woman.
61
00:02:39,503 --> 00:02:40,736
It's a common name.
62
00:02:40,754 --> 00:02:43,673
What I just saw was a blatant violation
of the league's safety rules.
63
00:02:43,707 --> 00:02:46,095
- I'm gonna have to report this.
- Yes! Yes!
64
00:02:46,096 --> 00:02:47,819
And not to do your job,
Sheldon,
65
00:02:47,845 --> 00:02:50,913
but I personally would recommend
the four-hour safety seminar.
66
00:02:50,931 --> 00:02:53,198
- Who asked you?
- And you know what else?
67
00:02:53,199 --> 00:02:55,918
She's the coach,
so she should have to go, too.
68
00:02:55,919 --> 00:02:57,720
- I went.
- Oh, you did, short shorts?
69
00:02:57,754 --> 00:03:00,089
Then why are your kids still getting
hit in the face with balls?
70
00:03:00,107 --> 00:03:02,308
- I will kill you.
- No, I'll do that.
71
00:03:02,359 --> 00:03:04,861
Dick, as the president of
the league, you have to go, too.
72
00:03:04,895 --> 00:03:07,763
- You're responsible for this guy.
- Oh, come on, Sheldon!
73
00:03:08,782 --> 00:03:10,316
Dang it!
74
00:03:10,367 --> 00:03:13,452
What makes you think that, uh,
I'll show up at this thing anyway?
75
00:03:13,487 --> 00:03:15,905
Do it. Don't do it.
The choice is yours.
76
00:03:15,906 --> 00:03:18,824
But if you're at the game,
the Angles are gonna have to forfeit.
77
00:03:18,876 --> 00:03:21,377
- You'd be doing them a favor.
- I will make sure he's there.
78
00:03:21,378 --> 00:03:23,196
Do that.
I'll be there, too.
79
00:03:23,263 --> 00:03:25,748
I have no place else
to go.
80
00:03:26,783 --> 00:03:30,970
Now, what makes you think
you can make me do anything?
81
00:03:31,004 --> 00:03:33,673
You have to go. You're keeping
the kids from playing.
82
00:03:33,724 --> 00:03:36,458
Just pretend you're at home
not listening to me.
83
00:03:36,476 --> 00:03:37,676
What?
84
00:03:39,863 --> 00:03:41,414
- Hey.
- Oh!
85
00:03:41,465 --> 00:03:44,183
If you're waiting for Michael, I'm pretty
sure he rode his bike home with Danny.
86
00:03:44,217 --> 00:03:45,801
Oh, no. No, darling.
87
00:03:45,836 --> 00:03:47,937
I am here
for the kid hand-off.
88
00:03:47,971 --> 00:03:50,089
Yes, it's the best
and easiest way
89
00:03:50,123 --> 00:03:51,407
to spot
the newly divorced dads.
90
00:03:51,441 --> 00:03:52,541
[ Laughs ] Wow.
91
00:03:52,576 --> 00:03:54,827
- You are an animal.
- Oh, no, darling.
92
00:03:54,861 --> 00:03:56,645
I'm a very sympathetic
lioness,
93
00:03:56,663 --> 00:03:59,332
on the prowl for
an emotionally wounded gazelle.
94
00:03:59,383 --> 00:04:01,927
[ Chuckles ] Ooh, yeah, see,
I like him.
95
00:04:01,959 --> 00:04:03,452
He knows how to spoil.
96
00:04:03,470 --> 00:04:05,204
Lulu, are there any
that you don't like?
97
00:04:05,238 --> 00:04:06,889
Yes, darling.
I will not do a parent
98
00:04:06,924 --> 00:04:08,608
who drives a car that starts
with the letter "H."
99
00:04:08,642 --> 00:04:10,870
- Oh, well, it's good to have standards.
- Mm-hmm.
100
00:04:10,877 --> 00:04:12,979
I will never date
a man with a perm...
101
00:04:13,013 --> 00:04:14,730
Way too selfish.
102
00:04:18,401 --> 00:04:19,919
[ Indistinct shouting ]
103
00:04:19,953 --> 00:04:21,988
[ Sighs ]
104
00:04:25,192 --> 00:04:26,959
Hey. You okay?
105
00:04:27,010 --> 00:04:28,477
I'm fine, coach.
106
00:04:28,512 --> 00:04:30,479
Just waiting on my dad.
107
00:04:30,514 --> 00:04:32,932
- You want to use my cellphone?
- It's okay.
108
00:04:32,950 --> 00:04:34,925
I can do my homework
until he gets here.
109
00:04:34,983 --> 00:04:37,769
He almost never forgets
to pick me up.
110
00:04:38,755 --> 00:04:41,257
So, do your parents
forget you sometimes?
111
00:04:41,291 --> 00:04:44,310
It's happened before.
They're really busy.
112
00:04:44,344 --> 00:04:46,829
Don't worry.
I only live a few miles away.
113
00:04:46,863 --> 00:04:48,681
If it gets too dark,
I can just walk.
114
00:04:48,715 --> 00:04:50,632
Oh, no. No, no.
115
00:04:50,651 --> 00:04:52,935
I know something about
being alone.
116
00:04:52,970 --> 00:04:54,520
I'll stay here
and wait with you.
117
00:04:56,456 --> 00:04:57,840
So, do you like
video games?
118
00:04:57,874 --> 00:04:59,425
Are you hitting on me,
coach?
119
00:04:59,833 --> 00:05:01,624
All right.
120
00:05:08,035 --> 00:05:09,235
What's for dinner?
121
00:05:09,252 --> 00:05:11,343
Hold it. What'd you bring
the Fat Kid home for?
122
00:05:11,371 --> 00:05:12,855
I only made food
for 40.
123
00:05:12,873 --> 00:05:16,092
- His name is Dudley, Cannon.
- Thank you, Danny.
124
00:05:16,126 --> 00:05:19,311
His dad didn't show, and I wasn't
just gonna leave him at the field.
125
00:05:19,346 --> 00:05:22,665
- I'm gonna try him again, okay?
- Hey, Mother Teresa.
126
00:05:22,699 --> 00:05:24,583
Why don't you try
and just take him home?
127
00:05:24,618 --> 00:05:25,951
Because I know
how scary it can be
128
00:05:26,003 --> 00:05:27,853
to be left alone
in an empty house at night.
129
00:05:27,888 --> 00:05:30,525
Well, I'd like to be left alone
in an empty house at night.
130
00:05:30,540 --> 00:05:31,891
Want to hear
a knock-knock joke?
131
00:05:31,925 --> 00:05:33,392
Well, what do you think?
132
00:05:33,393 --> 00:05:35,043
Knock, knock.
133
00:05:35,360 --> 00:05:36,894
Knock, knock.
134
00:05:37,898 --> 00:05:39,444
- Knock, knock.
- You know, Cannon,
135
00:05:39,449 --> 00:05:42,869
it's gonna be a lot easier on all of us
if you just say "Who's there?"
136
00:05:43,748 --> 00:05:45,449
Knock, knock.
137
00:05:47,541 --> 00:05:50,292
Yes, Mr. Douglas.
He's fine. I...
138
00:05:50,293 --> 00:05:53,813
No, I will not tell your son
that your ex-wife is that word,
139
00:05:53,847 --> 00:05:56,565
nor will I tell your ex-wife
that she is that word.
140
00:05:56,599 --> 00:05:58,901
You know what? This is...
This conversation's over. Goodbye.
141
00:05:58,935 --> 00:06:01,270
Hey, Terry.
This guy has to go.
142
00:06:01,304 --> 00:06:03,923
He just told me
15 knock-knock jokes in a minute
143
00:06:03,957 --> 00:06:06,358
while inhaling
a half a box of crackers,
144
00:06:06,393 --> 00:06:09,095
which is incredible
and disgusting.
145
00:06:09,129 --> 00:06:11,380
Well, Dudley
is staying for dinner.
146
00:06:11,415 --> 00:06:13,165
That ought to be
a great show.
147
00:06:13,216 --> 00:06:14,934
Dudley, your parents
got the schedules mixed up.
148
00:06:14,968 --> 00:06:16,736
Your dad's getting in touch
with your mom,
149
00:06:16,770 --> 00:06:19,288
but until then,
this is your house, okay?
150
00:06:19,306 --> 00:06:22,091
Yes! Uh, can I take two
ice-cream sandwiches
151
00:06:22,109 --> 00:06:23,592
and stack them
on top of each other
152
00:06:23,610 --> 00:06:25,427
and make a double-stuffed
ice-cream sandwich?
153
00:06:25,445 --> 00:06:28,114
If that will make you
feel better, sure.
154
00:06:28,148 --> 00:06:30,449
Yay! No rules!
155
00:06:30,484 --> 00:06:32,234
Take that, calorie log.
156
00:06:33,670 --> 00:06:36,372
[ Chuckles ]
Hmm. Okay.
157
00:06:36,406 --> 00:06:39,075
If fatty wants to stay,
it's fine.
158
00:06:39,109 --> 00:06:43,546
If I find teeth marks
in my easy chair... done.
159
00:06:48,325 --> 00:06:51,194
Your mom had an emergency at work,
so you're gonna stay with us, okay?
160
00:06:51,228 --> 00:06:53,045
You comfortable, buddy?
[ Farts ]
161
00:06:53,080 --> 00:06:55,615
- Now I am.
- Okay. All right.
162
00:06:55,666 --> 00:06:58,799
You guys have my permission
to stay up as long as you like, okay?
163
00:06:58,808 --> 00:07:01,510
Thanks, mom-Terry
and brother-Danny.
164
00:07:01,544 --> 00:07:04,396
Let's just stick to our regular names.
Good night.
165
00:07:09,552 --> 00:07:12,521
Danny,
are you still awake?
166
00:07:12,555 --> 00:07:14,673
It doesn't seem like
I have much of a choice.
167
00:07:14,708 --> 00:07:17,559
How long have your parents
been divorced?
168
00:07:17,594 --> 00:07:18,811
About a year now.
169
00:07:18,845 --> 00:07:21,046
Doesn't it suck
how much they still fight?
170
00:07:21,081 --> 00:07:24,817
Well... I don't know. I mean,
it wasn't really like that for me.
171
00:07:24,851 --> 00:07:26,802
My mom seems
way happier now,
172
00:07:26,836 --> 00:07:28,570
and I like
the way things are.
173
00:07:28,605 --> 00:07:29,905
You lucked out.
174
00:07:29,940 --> 00:07:31,740
My dad used to tuck me
in at night
175
00:07:31,751 --> 00:07:33,962
and give me something
to snuggle with.
176
00:07:33,963 --> 00:07:35,247
I miss that.
177
00:07:35,295 --> 00:07:39,431
If I give you Mr. Cuddles,
will you stop talking?
178
00:07:39,432 --> 00:07:40,632
Yes.
179
00:07:47,190 --> 00:07:48,540
[ Farts ]
180
00:07:48,558 --> 00:07:49,975
[ Sighs ]
181
00:07:50,010 --> 00:07:51,443
You know what?
182
00:07:51,477 --> 00:07:53,112
Keep the bear.
183
00:08:01,431 --> 00:08:03,166
Danny: Ugh!
184
00:08:03,200 --> 00:08:05,601
Dudley kept me up
all night.
185
00:08:05,636 --> 00:08:07,904
I mean, he could have at least
aimed himself towards the wall.
186
00:08:07,938 --> 00:08:09,639
I know.
He kept me up, too.
187
00:08:09,673 --> 00:08:11,224
He was rooting through
that cupboard.
188
00:08:11,258 --> 00:08:13,441
Sounded like a goat
playing the drum set.
189
00:08:13,442 --> 00:08:16,345
Dudley is going through
a very difficult time, dad.
190
00:08:16,346 --> 00:08:18,113
Neither one of his parents
are there for him.
191
00:08:18,131 --> 00:08:20,683
- Imagine how he feels.
- Well, I can't.
192
00:08:20,684 --> 00:08:23,786
- He ate my imagination.
- Be nice.
193
00:08:24,221 --> 00:08:26,582
- Good morning, Dudley.
- Good morning.
194
00:08:26,603 --> 00:08:29,436
I made you some eggs...
195
00:08:29,437 --> 00:08:31,708
And bacon.
196
00:08:31,728 --> 00:08:34,630
- Hey, you just jacked my bacon.
- No manners, no bacon.
197
00:08:34,648 --> 00:08:36,632
You just make sure you go
to that safety class today.
198
00:08:36,667 --> 00:08:39,635
[ Doorbell rings ] Oh, that's probably
your mom. Hurry and finish up, bud.
199
00:08:39,686 --> 00:08:41,595
Knock, knock.
200
00:08:41,658 --> 00:08:42,972
I know who's there...
201
00:08:43,006 --> 00:08:44,383
My bacon.
202
00:08:44,384 --> 00:08:46,841
Terry, I am so sorry
for the mix up.
203
00:08:46,860 --> 00:08:48,277
Oh, it's no problem.
204
00:08:48,278 --> 00:08:51,380
I just don't know how safe it is
leaving him out at the field like that.
205
00:08:51,381 --> 00:08:53,749
His father told me the nanny
was gonna pick Dudley up,
206
00:08:53,784 --> 00:08:56,552
but chances are,
she's in Phoenix with him.
207
00:08:56,909 --> 00:08:59,689
- Hey, mom.
- There's my big cat.
208
00:08:59,723 --> 00:09:01,724
Now, say thanks
and get in the car.
209
00:09:01,758 --> 00:09:04,543
- Thanks, coach.
- Of course. Anytime, buddy.
210
00:09:04,578 --> 00:09:06,012
Thank you.
211
00:09:06,046 --> 00:09:07,763
Mm-hmm.
212
00:09:08,815 --> 00:09:10,032
Bye.
213
00:09:11,435 --> 00:09:12,835
214
00:09:12,869 --> 00:09:14,370
All right, welcome, coaches.
215
00:09:14,404 --> 00:09:16,389
Over the next four hours,
216
00:09:16,440 --> 00:09:18,608
we are going to cover
all of the safety procedures
217
00:09:18,642 --> 00:09:21,093
mandated by West Lake township.
218
00:09:21,128 --> 00:09:22,895
Now, as you can see,
219
00:09:22,946 --> 00:09:24,947
thanks to last night's
anger-management meeting,
220
00:09:24,981 --> 00:09:26,799
they've cleared out
all of our chairs.
221
00:09:26,850 --> 00:09:28,351
[ Laughs ]
222
00:09:28,385 --> 00:09:30,486
I have an idea... why don't we
just circle it on up
223
00:09:30,504 --> 00:09:31,721
and have a seat on the floor?
224
00:09:31,755 --> 00:09:32,955
Come on, guys.
225
00:09:34,057 --> 00:09:36,676
Uh, Mr. Gannon, why don't you
join us here on the floor?
226
00:09:36,710 --> 00:09:38,628
See, I-I-I lived
through the '60s,
227
00:09:38,662 --> 00:09:41,831
and I have no interest
whatsoever in eating curry
228
00:09:41,865 --> 00:09:43,049
or passing around
the peace pipe
229
00:09:43,100 --> 00:09:44,567
or playing
"duck, duck, goose."
230
00:09:44,601 --> 00:09:47,687
I don't do floors,
Sheldon.
231
00:09:47,721 --> 00:09:49,455
Fine.
232
00:09:49,489 --> 00:09:50,690
Let's begin.
233
00:09:50,724 --> 00:09:54,427
What is safety?
234
00:09:55,779 --> 00:10:00,249
Safety always
feels excellent together...
235
00:10:03,453 --> 00:10:04,787
Yay!
236
00:10:04,805 --> 00:10:05,888
M...
237
00:10:05,922 --> 00:10:07,340
O...
238
00:10:07,391 --> 00:10:08,491
R...
239
00:10:08,525 --> 00:10:09,742
O-N...
240
00:10:09,776 --> 00:10:12,561
Moron. Yay.
241
00:10:12,629 --> 00:10:16,849
That man does not speak
for my league, to be clear.
242
00:10:16,883 --> 00:10:18,901
Flag on the play.
That's not safe speech.
243
00:10:18,935 --> 00:10:20,603
[ Grunts ]
244
00:10:20,637 --> 00:10:25,174
245
00:10:25,208 --> 00:10:28,294
Hey, Dudley.
What a surprise.
246
00:10:28,328 --> 00:10:30,146
Hey, coach mom-Terry.
247
00:10:30,180 --> 00:10:33,416
Uh, hey, mom, you know,
can I talk to you real quick?
248
00:10:35,885 --> 00:10:38,037
Dudley just kind of
followed me home.
249
00:10:38,071 --> 00:10:39,522
I didn't know what to do.
250
00:10:39,556 --> 00:10:41,490
He just seems
really lonely, you know?
251
00:10:41,525 --> 00:10:42,541
Okay.
252
00:10:42,576 --> 00:10:44,160
You know what?
Let me talk to him alone.
253
00:10:44,194 --> 00:10:45,527
- All right.
- Thanks.
254
00:10:48,265 --> 00:10:49,665
Hey.
255
00:10:49,683 --> 00:10:51,033
[ Clears throat ]
256
00:10:51,068 --> 00:10:52,418
How's it going?
257
00:10:52,452 --> 00:10:55,488
- I've been better.
- Yeah.
258
00:10:55,522 --> 00:10:57,289
Yeah, I know how you feel.
259
00:10:57,324 --> 00:11:01,410
After my mom died, my dad was
hardly ever there for me.
260
00:11:01,445 --> 00:11:03,846
I'm a grown-up,
and it still hurts.
261
00:11:03,880 --> 00:11:05,231
But you need to know,
buddy,
262
00:11:05,265 --> 00:11:07,666
your parents' divorce
is not your fault.
263
00:11:07,718 --> 00:11:11,754
I just wish things could
go back to the way they were.
264
00:11:11,788 --> 00:11:14,800
They don't even go
to my games anymore.
265
00:11:14,801 --> 00:11:16,275
But I don't blame them.
266
00:11:16,276 --> 00:11:20,229
I mean, who wants to see a fat kid
strike out five times in a row?
267
00:11:22,549 --> 00:11:26,535
268
00:11:26,570 --> 00:11:28,287
[ Grunting ]
269
00:11:28,321 --> 00:11:31,123
Let's remember
our CPR technique, gentlemen.
270
00:11:31,158 --> 00:11:34,260
It's 30 compressions
and 2 breaths.
271
00:11:34,311 --> 00:11:36,362
Pucker up, sweetheart.
I just ate a meatball sandwich.
272
00:11:36,396 --> 00:11:37,747
Oh, come on!
273
00:11:37,781 --> 00:11:40,883
- I-I want a different partner!
- And I'd like my wife back.
274
00:11:40,901 --> 00:11:42,618
Unresponsive!
275
00:11:42,652 --> 00:11:44,853
[ Grunts ] Ohh!
276
00:11:44,871 --> 00:11:46,655
He's back. He's back.
277
00:11:46,673 --> 00:11:48,657
- Good teamwork, guys.
- Thank you.
278
00:11:48,675 --> 00:11:52,828
279
00:11:52,862 --> 00:11:55,014
Oh, uh... uh, Sheldon,
280
00:11:55,065 --> 00:11:57,199
I-I really want
a different partner this time.
281
00:11:57,233 --> 00:11:58,539
Can... can I work with
Dennis this time just...
282
00:11:58,565 --> 00:12:00,753
Hold it. Just a second. What do
you think... I'm a crazy person?
283
00:12:00,804 --> 00:12:03,920
Do you really believe for one second
that I'd hit you with this bat?
284
00:12:03,940 --> 00:12:05,040
Exactly.
The Cannon is right.
285
00:12:05,075 --> 00:12:06,959
Look, if you see anyone
holding a baseball bat,
286
00:12:06,993 --> 00:12:09,428
you make sure that no one
is within 5 feet
287
00:12:09,479 --> 00:12:11,414
of that person's
safety bubble.
288
00:12:11,448 --> 00:12:12,915
Today we're using
wiffle-ball bats,
289
00:12:12,949 --> 00:12:16,385
but there is no comparison
to the pain of walking home
290
00:12:16,403 --> 00:12:19,688
and seeing that your wife
has left you for your sister.
291
00:12:19,723 --> 00:12:21,574
Right,
but he's within 5 feet of my...
292
00:12:21,625 --> 00:12:23,342
Aah!
293
00:12:23,393 --> 00:12:25,010
He was in my bubble.
Did you see that?
294
00:12:25,061 --> 00:12:26,516
He was in my bubble.
[ Groaning ]
295
00:12:26,530 --> 00:12:28,130
Trust me, Dick.
296
00:12:28,165 --> 00:12:30,216
297
00:12:30,250 --> 00:12:31,817
[ Bees buzzing ] Aah!
298
00:12:31,868 --> 00:12:34,703
All right,
this exercise will demonstrate
299
00:12:34,737 --> 00:12:38,040
what it feels like to completely
trust one of your coaches.
300
00:12:38,074 --> 00:12:41,811
Remember, if your kids don't
trust you, they don't feel safe.
301
00:12:41,845 --> 00:12:44,063
Boy, Dennis,
I'm glad you're my partner.
302
00:12:44,097 --> 00:12:46,181
I feel safe.
303
00:12:46,199 --> 00:12:48,016
So, where are you from,
man?
304
00:12:49,753 --> 00:12:51,504
It's a little weird
you're not answering me.
305
00:12:51,538 --> 00:12:54,790
And if you're ready,
you can go.
306
00:12:54,825 --> 00:12:57,626
Slow down, Dennis.
Talk to me, man.
307
00:12:57,661 --> 00:13:00,529
[ Sniffs ] I smell cologne.
No. Aah!
308
00:13:00,563 --> 00:13:03,899
309
00:13:03,934 --> 00:13:05,934
Want to go again, Dickie?
You know something?
310
00:13:05,936 --> 00:13:08,337
This isn't just about you
having fun terrorizing me.
311
00:13:08,355 --> 00:13:09,905
Instead of
banging me around,
312
00:13:09,923 --> 00:13:11,941
you could have used this
opportunity to learn something.
313
00:13:11,975 --> 00:13:14,677
I did. I-I learned it's funny
when your face hits a door.
314
00:13:14,711 --> 00:13:15,928
You know what?
315
00:13:15,962 --> 00:13:18,764
I cannot imagine
growing up with you as my dad.
316
00:13:18,798 --> 00:13:20,866
It's no wonder Terry's
a frickin' disaster.
317
00:13:20,901 --> 00:13:22,451
- Listen, you piece of crap.
- Yeah. Come on. Let's go.
318
00:13:22,486 --> 00:13:24,086
Whoa, whoa, whoa. Hey, guys.
Guys, what's going on here?
319
00:13:24,120 --> 00:13:27,673
I was over here, you know, just
trying to get into my safety bubble.
320
00:13:27,707 --> 00:13:28,408
Ugh, wow.
321
00:13:28,409 --> 00:13:30,493
And then this guy comes
and gets in my face.
322
00:13:30,527 --> 00:13:31,810
That old bastard
is lying to you right now!
323
00:13:31,845 --> 00:13:33,963
- He's lying!
- See, that is hurt speech.
324
00:13:33,997 --> 00:13:36,015
- Yeah...
- And I feel very unsafe.
325
00:13:36,066 --> 00:13:38,534
- Dick, haven't you learned anything here?
- No! Guess not.
326
00:13:38,568 --> 00:13:40,035
No! No, he hasn't.
327
00:13:40,069 --> 00:13:42,154
And I fortunately have.
328
00:13:42,189 --> 00:13:44,707
I mean, just coming
to this safety seminar,
329
00:13:44,741 --> 00:13:46,423
I've learned quite a bit
about myself.
330
00:13:46,426 --> 00:13:50,312
I've learned, you know, to respect
and enjoy my time with the kids.
331
00:13:50,347 --> 00:13:52,598
[ Chuckles ]
And, uh, also, I...
332
00:13:52,649 --> 00:13:56,068
I learned I have to get
deep inside myself,
333
00:13:56,102 --> 00:13:57,770
you know,
to find a better man,
334
00:13:57,821 --> 00:14:00,648
so these kids won't be
f-frightened or scared.
335
00:14:00,649 --> 00:14:01,522
Wow.
336
00:14:01,523 --> 00:14:04,410
So, what I'm saying is,
thanks a lot, Sheldon,
337
00:14:04,444 --> 00:14:05,561
and, uh...
338
00:14:05,579 --> 00:14:08,414
[Sighs] I guess I'll see you
on the field for my evaluation.
339
00:14:08,448 --> 00:14:09,532
Thanks again.
340
00:14:09,566 --> 00:14:11,500
Look at that.
Someone was listening.
341
00:14:11,535 --> 00:14:12,918
- You hear that, Dick?
- Oh, I heard it.
342
00:14:12,953 --> 00:14:14,253
- It works.
- Mm-hmm.
343
00:14:14,254 --> 00:14:16,073
- Cannon, way to go.
- Way to go, Cannon.
344
00:14:16,089 --> 00:14:19,124
I'm granting you permission
to enter my bubble.
345
00:14:19,175 --> 00:14:21,043
346
00:14:21,077 --> 00:14:22,294
Yeah.
347
00:14:22,345 --> 00:14:23,545
[ Chuckles ]
348
00:14:25,515 --> 00:14:26,932
I miss her so much,
Cannon.
349
00:14:29,586 --> 00:14:31,403
[ No audio ]
350
00:14:33,966 --> 00:14:36,283
Oh, Mr. Douglas,
it would just be so great
351
00:14:36,284 --> 00:14:38,186
if you changed your mind, took
the high road with your wife,
352
00:14:38,187 --> 00:14:40,425
and just showed up
to Dudley's game.
353
00:14:40,426 --> 00:14:43,761
I'm out of wings
and blue cheese.
354
00:14:43,779 --> 00:14:47,452
- I really love blue cheese.
- Chelle... 20 more, extra blue.
355
00:14:47,453 --> 00:14:48,616
Look at that.
They're on their way.
356
00:14:48,651 --> 00:14:51,019
And there'll be more where that came
from if you show up to the game.
357
00:14:51,053 --> 00:14:54,072
Look, it's not my custody day.
I got plans.
358
00:14:54,106 --> 00:14:55,807
Anyway, do I really
want to be in the stands
359
00:14:55,841 --> 00:14:58,495
and have my wife yell at me for trying
to be happy for once in my life?
360
00:14:58,511 --> 00:14:59,565
What about your son?
361
00:14:59,599 --> 00:15:01,967
- Dudley knows I love him.
- I don't think he does.
362
00:15:02,002 --> 00:15:03,425
He needs you there.
363
00:15:03,426 --> 00:15:06,261
You know what?
Don't tell me what my son needs.
364
00:15:06,295 --> 00:15:08,463
Cancel the wings.
I lost my appetite.
365
00:15:09,799 --> 00:15:10,999
Oy.
366
00:15:11,854 --> 00:15:14,289
All right, Lulu.
Plan "B."
367
00:15:14,290 --> 00:15:16,538
Don't worry, darling.
I'll get him there.
368
00:15:16,572 --> 00:15:17,772
Excuse me.
369
00:15:17,790 --> 00:15:21,476
Um, sweetheart, I couldn't help
but notice you drive a Jaguar.
370
00:15:22,714 --> 00:15:24,250
Coach Terry!
371
00:15:24,284 --> 00:15:25,918
Both of my parents
are here!
372
00:15:25,919 --> 00:15:28,154
I'm gonna get a hit today!
I can just feel it!
373
00:15:28,155 --> 00:15:30,039
I know you are, buddy.
374
00:15:30,040 --> 00:15:31,887
The day that kid
gets a hit...
375
00:15:31,888 --> 00:15:34,566
You say one negative thing
about Dudley, so help me,
376
00:15:34,570 --> 00:15:37,246
I will make a cologne-flavored popsicle
out of you with that baseball bat.
377
00:15:37,264 --> 00:15:38,815
If you'd just
let me finish.
378
00:15:38,849 --> 00:15:40,783
I was gonna say the day
that kid gets a hit
379
00:15:40,817 --> 00:15:43,369
would probably be today.
380
00:15:44,104 --> 00:15:45,705
Um...
381
00:15:45,739 --> 00:15:47,156
Bud?
382
00:15:47,174 --> 00:15:49,091
Stepping into your bubble.
383
00:15:49,126 --> 00:15:51,894
I just want to say
that you're, uh...
384
00:15:51,929 --> 00:15:53,963
You're a fantastic person.
385
00:15:53,997 --> 00:15:56,449
And, you know...
Good things.
386
00:15:56,500 --> 00:15:58,367
So, you... y-you find me
after the game,
387
00:15:58,385 --> 00:16:00,653
and I'm gonna put one of those rainbow
stickers right on your helmet.
388
00:16:00,704 --> 00:16:02,805
Will you put kitty whiskers
on my face?
389
00:16:03,840 --> 00:16:06,763
Yeah. Yeah.
You just find me.
390
00:16:06,989 --> 00:16:09,224
Positive reinforcement,
Shel.
391
00:16:09,258 --> 00:16:10,909
Kids need that.
392
00:16:10,943 --> 00:16:12,611
Safety.
393
00:16:12,645 --> 00:16:14,646
Stepping out.
394
00:16:15,581 --> 00:16:17,883
All: One, two, three...
Cardinals!
395
00:16:17,934 --> 00:16:19,134
396
00:16:19,135 --> 00:16:20,836
Great.
397
00:16:20,870 --> 00:16:22,570
Eye of the kitty, buddy.
398
00:16:22,588 --> 00:16:24,205
Eye of the kitty.
399
00:16:24,223 --> 00:16:25,690
[ Indistinct shouting ]
400
00:16:25,742 --> 00:16:27,225
- Get your finger out of my face!
- Oh, no. Oh, no, no, no.
401
00:16:27,260 --> 00:16:28,841
- Don't you wave your finger at me!
- I'll put my finger wherever...
402
00:16:28,842 --> 00:16:30,125
Unbelievable.
403
00:16:30,133 --> 00:16:31,390
Let's go, buddy.
404
00:16:31,391 --> 00:16:33,960
405
00:16:38,354 --> 00:16:41,072
ALL: Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!
406
00:16:41,124 --> 00:16:42,958
407
00:16:42,992 --> 00:16:45,477
[ Indistinct shouting ]
408
00:16:45,511 --> 00:16:50,849
409
00:16:50,883 --> 00:16:51,783
Run!
410
00:16:51,834 --> 00:16:53,452
Come on! Come on!
411
00:16:53,486 --> 00:16:54,702
Come on, buddy!
412
00:16:54,720 --> 00:16:55,804
You're out!
413
00:16:55,838 --> 00:16:56,772
[ Spectators groan ]
414
00:16:56,806 --> 00:16:58,439
- He's not out!
- Come on, coach.
415
00:16:58,458 --> 00:17:00,175
That throw beat your kid's foot
there by a mile.
416
00:17:00,209 --> 00:17:01,660
I don't care
where his foot was.
417
00:17:01,694 --> 00:17:03,078
Yeah, but that's kind of
the whole point.
418
00:17:03,112 --> 00:17:05,013
No, it's not the point,
okay?
419
00:17:05,047 --> 00:17:08,337
These... these kids
need to feel safe.
420
00:17:08,338 --> 00:17:10,632
Okay, they shouldn't have
to go through this alone.
421
00:17:10,636 --> 00:17:13,008
You need to be there,
and you need to pay attention.
422
00:17:13,009 --> 00:17:14,005
All right, all right.
423
00:17:14,040 --> 00:17:16,825
I'm gonna need you to go back to
the dugout and take whatever it is
424
00:17:16,859 --> 00:17:18,376
that your doctor
prescribed you.
425
00:17:19,328 --> 00:17:20,378
Do you see this?
426
00:17:20,429 --> 00:17:22,781
Do you see this?
Do you see it?!
427
00:17:22,815 --> 00:17:24,566
His foot touched this bag.
428
00:17:24,600 --> 00:17:27,202
That is supposed to mean
he is safe, okay?!
429
00:17:27,236 --> 00:17:29,464
In fact, this should be
the safest place on earth!
430
00:17:29,471 --> 00:17:31,070
It doesn't work
like that, lady.
431
00:17:32,124 --> 00:17:33,324
"Lady"?!
432
00:17:35,862 --> 00:17:37,913
That is exactly
how it works!
433
00:17:37,947 --> 00:17:39,720
Because that is the job
we signed up for
434
00:17:39,749 --> 00:17:42,033
as parents
and as coaches, okay?!
435
00:17:42,068 --> 00:17:43,685
- Let's go.
- Ugh!
436
00:17:43,703 --> 00:17:46,154
Hey, that was
a great hit today, Dud.
437
00:17:46,172 --> 00:17:48,089
Great job.
Proud of you.
438
00:17:48,107 --> 00:17:49,724
You didn't call me
"Fat Kid."
439
00:17:49,742 --> 00:17:52,742
Well, don't worry. I will next time.
Good hit.
440
00:17:53,079 --> 00:17:56,281
441
00:17:56,315 --> 00:17:57,966
No! No!
442
00:18:02,989 --> 00:18:04,272
[ Grunts ]
443
00:18:07,927 --> 00:18:09,644
- Hey.
- Hey.
444
00:18:09,678 --> 00:18:13,164
That little blowup you had today,
uh, made me really proud, Junior.
445
00:18:13,165 --> 00:18:14,168
[ Chuckles ]
446
00:18:14,169 --> 00:18:17,485
I guess babying the fat kid
wound you up a little, right?
447
00:18:17,520 --> 00:18:19,688
Do you want to know
why I was babying Dudley?
448
00:18:19,722 --> 00:18:20,972
No, not really.
449
00:18:21,007 --> 00:18:23,341
Because I didn't want him
to feel abandoned
450
00:18:23,376 --> 00:18:25,060
like I did
when I was a kid.
451
00:18:25,094 --> 00:18:26,645
"Abandoned"?
452
00:18:26,679 --> 00:18:27,996
Who did that?
453
00:18:28,030 --> 00:18:29,764
What do you call
leaving a 10-year-old
454
00:18:29,799 --> 00:18:32,400
in a Mexican hotel room with
a strange woman for a month?
455
00:18:32,418 --> 00:18:33,618
Club Med?
456
00:18:34,387 --> 00:18:36,688
Look... Juanita...
457
00:18:36,739 --> 00:18:40,392
She was a terrific lady
and... and a great caretaker,
458
00:18:40,426 --> 00:18:42,627
and I was sure
that you'd be safe with her.
459
00:18:42,662 --> 00:18:45,063
Uh, by the way, what the heck
can I do about it now?
460
00:18:45,114 --> 00:18:47,699
Why did you leave me
like that?
461
00:18:47,733 --> 00:18:49,501
You know,
mom had just died.
462
00:18:49,535 --> 00:18:51,436
You left me with
a complete stranger.
463
00:18:51,470 --> 00:18:52,604
What did I do?
464
00:18:52,638 --> 00:18:54,228
No.
465
00:18:54,991 --> 00:18:57,042
You did...
466
00:18:57,927 --> 00:18:59,361
I mean,
you did nothing.
467
00:19:00,630 --> 00:19:02,497
You know, when mom...
468
00:19:02,498 --> 00:19:05,350
When mom died, I, uh...
469
00:19:05,384 --> 00:19:09,271
I did a lot more
than just drink a little bit.
470
00:19:09,305 --> 00:19:11,172
Uh...
471
00:19:11,207 --> 00:19:13,559
I was a mess.
472
00:19:14,443 --> 00:19:18,280
So I figured, uh,
if I left you with, uh...
473
00:19:18,314 --> 00:19:20,498
Somebody I trusted...
Really trusted...
474
00:19:20,549 --> 00:19:23,818
That you'd be, you know, a lot
better off than being with me.
475
00:19:25,254 --> 00:19:28,490
I really didn't want you
to see me like that, you know?
476
00:19:28,524 --> 00:19:31,993
And, uh, so I just thought
I did, uh,
477
00:19:32,011 --> 00:19:33,762
you know,
the best that I could.
478
00:19:34,985 --> 00:19:37,203
You sure didn't
do anything, honey.
479
00:19:38,784 --> 00:19:40,101
I'm sorry.
480
00:19:41,174 --> 00:19:42,775
Dad.
481
00:19:44,640 --> 00:19:46,341
[ Sighs ]
482
00:19:46,375 --> 00:19:52,013
483
00:19:52,047 --> 00:19:53,798
Where did you go
when you left?
484
00:19:53,833 --> 00:19:56,384
Some Mexican
Betty Ford kind of thing.
485
00:19:56,402 --> 00:19:59,321
- But you still drink.
- Well, it was in Mexican.
486
00:19:59,355 --> 00:20:01,289
I mean, I-I didn't understand
anything they said.
487
00:20:01,324 --> 00:20:04,609
[ Laughs ]
488
00:20:07,362 --> 00:20:09,262
Knock, knock.
489
00:20:10,201 --> 00:20:11,852
Knock, knock.
490
00:20:14,114 --> 00:20:15,331
Knock, knock.
491
00:20:16,789 --> 00:20:18,390
Knock, knock.
492
00:20:19,592 --> 00:20:20,792
Knock, knock.
493
00:20:21,478 --> 00:20:22,678
Knock, knock.
494
00:20:23,346 --> 00:20:25,130
Knock, knock.
495
00:20:26,366 --> 00:20:27,566
Knock, knock.
496
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Knock, knock.
497
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Knock, knock.
498
00:20:34,391 --> 00:20:35,908
Knock, knock.
499
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Knock, knock.
500
00:20:38,128 --> 00:20:39,228
Knock, knock.
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00:20:39,262 --> 00:20:41,880
[ Crickets chirping ]
Knock, knock.
502
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Knock, knock.
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Synced by Reef
www.addic7ed.com
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505
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