All language subtitles for Another Period s01e07 Switcheroo Day.eng

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,014 --> 00:00:01,271 [music] 2 00:00:01,272 --> 00:00:02,272 _ 3 00:00:02,290 --> 00:00:03,790 Oh, I hate reading the newspaper. 4 00:00:03,792 --> 00:00:05,458 They cover all the important society women. 5 00:00:05,460 --> 00:00:06,876 Why not me? Look at this one. 6 00:00:06,878 --> 00:00:08,928 "Esmerelda Franco, age 52. 7 00:00:08,930 --> 00:00:10,346 Left behind 2 children 8 00:00:10,348 --> 00:00:12,265 - and 77 grandchildren." - That's an obituary. 9 00:00:12,267 --> 00:00:13,600 Well, I agree with Lillian. 10 00:00:13,602 --> 00:00:19,522 Look! Why is there this stupid Str-- St-- 11 00:00:19,524 --> 00:00:21,441 Ugh, that damn Stringburger baby! 12 00:00:21,443 --> 00:00:23,142 - Yes! - She gets all the attention 13 00:00:23,144 --> 00:00:24,227 now-- she got lucky. 14 00:00:24,229 --> 00:00:25,528 She's in the paper every day. 15 00:00:25,530 --> 00:00:27,030 Have a little perspective. 16 00:00:27,032 --> 00:00:28,698 - That girl was abducted. - She's not a girl. 17 00:00:28,700 --> 00:00:30,984 She's a baby, and she's not even pretty. 18 00:00:30,986 --> 00:00:33,236 I don't understand why some stupid kidnapped baby 19 00:00:33,238 --> 00:00:34,954 is getting all this attention. 20 00:00:34,956 --> 00:00:36,656 I have eight babies of my own, and I can't give them away. 21 00:00:36,658 --> 00:00:38,825 An innocent girl was kidnapped! 22 00:00:38,827 --> 00:00:42,328 I'd say that deserves a little attention. 23 00:00:42,330 --> 00:00:43,579 Damn it, you're right. 24 00:00:43,581 --> 00:00:46,049 If a stupid baby who can't read, write, 25 00:00:46,051 --> 00:00:47,834 or make love is making headlines, 26 00:00:47,836 --> 00:00:51,337 imagine the hubbub if America's sweetheart went missing. 27 00:00:51,339 --> 00:00:52,672 - Helen Keller? - Santa Claus? 28 00:00:52,674 --> 00:00:54,223 - Susan B Anthony? - Frederick? 29 00:00:54,225 --> 00:00:57,977 - Harry Houdini. - I'm talking about me! 30 00:00:58,897 --> 00:01:00,730 I'm talking about me. 31 00:01:00,732 --> 00:01:03,733 [main title playing] 32 00:01:12,095 --> 00:01:15,032 Sync and corrections by n17t01 www.addic7ed.com 33 00:01:15,747 --> 00:01:17,747 [whistling music] 34 00:01:17,749 --> 00:01:22,201 Hey! Psst. 35 00:01:22,203 --> 00:01:24,287 I hear you're the type of guy who's not afraid to get 36 00:01:24,289 --> 00:01:27,040 - his hands dirty. - What? 37 00:01:27,042 --> 00:01:28,841 I hear you are a deranged criminal. 38 00:01:28,843 --> 00:01:30,293 Oh, that. 39 00:01:30,295 --> 00:01:33,796 Well, one man's Jew tracker is another man's Jew-- 40 00:01:33,798 --> 00:01:36,466 I didn't come here for anecdotes from a dogman. 41 00:01:36,468 --> 00:01:38,184 Well, why did you come here, princess? 42 00:01:38,186 --> 00:01:39,469 I want you to kidnap me. 43 00:01:39,471 --> 00:01:41,354 I want to ride that wave of abduction fame 44 00:01:41,356 --> 00:01:42,772 that's all the rage right now. 45 00:01:42,774 --> 00:01:48,478 Well, that depends what you're offering. 46 00:01:48,480 --> 00:01:50,396 What do I think kidnapping's going to be like? 47 00:01:50,398 --> 00:01:52,949 Hmm. Maybe a little R&R. 48 00:01:52,951 --> 00:01:55,234 Perhaps a maritime retreat to Nova Scotia 49 00:01:55,236 --> 00:01:57,987 for a gravlox tasting! 50 00:01:57,989 --> 00:02:01,074 Come later today, after my hot-air-balloon lesson. 51 00:02:01,076 --> 00:02:02,158 Oh, and do me a favor. 52 00:02:02,160 --> 00:02:03,743 Make sure to bathe. 53 00:02:03,745 --> 00:02:08,047 Can't have my shoulder smelling like a beef roast. 54 00:02:08,049 --> 00:02:09,749 Oh, I'm sorry. 55 00:02:09,751 --> 00:02:13,970 Like shit. 56 00:02:13,972 --> 00:02:14,921 [bell tolling] 57 00:02:17,258 --> 00:02:19,092 You rang, Madam? 58 00:02:19,094 --> 00:02:21,260 Yes. I need something from you. 59 00:02:21,262 --> 00:02:23,012 You've already had enough morphine 60 00:02:23,014 --> 00:02:24,897 to kill a ragtime singer. 61 00:02:24,899 --> 00:02:27,266 No. I've been invited 62 00:02:27,268 --> 00:02:29,402 to a "Meeting of The Minds" luncheon 63 00:02:29,404 --> 00:02:31,738 at Mark Twain's home in Providence. 64 00:02:31,740 --> 00:02:35,608 I simply must go, but cannot be unattended. 65 00:02:35,610 --> 00:02:38,444 I need you to put on one of my husband's suits 66 00:02:38,446 --> 00:02:40,496 and accompany me to the luncheon, 67 00:02:40,498 --> 00:02:44,367 never betraying to anyone that you are not he. 68 00:02:44,369 --> 00:02:46,452 They'll discover the charade immediately. 69 00:02:46,454 --> 00:02:49,172 I-- I carry myself like a servant. 70 00:02:49,174 --> 00:02:51,624 Look. Do you see? 71 00:02:51,626 --> 00:02:54,460 The unsightly gait of a common flea! 72 00:02:54,462 --> 00:02:56,129 I'm little better than a Gypsy. 73 00:02:56,131 --> 00:02:58,965 Half a step removed from Mongoloid. 74 00:02:58,967 --> 00:03:00,633 No, Madam, I-- I beg you. 75 00:03:00,635 --> 00:03:04,971 It will never work. It's simply unthinkable. 76 00:03:04,973 --> 00:03:08,975 It is an order. 77 00:03:08,977 --> 00:03:10,810 As you wish, Madam. 78 00:03:19,871 --> 00:03:22,822 No, Blanche, I said I wanted this dress. 79 00:03:22,824 --> 00:03:25,992 Oh, but Miss Beatrice, this is the exact same dress. 80 00:03:25,994 --> 00:03:27,293 Blanche, I'm not an idiot. 81 00:03:27,295 --> 00:03:28,494 This one is small. 82 00:03:28,496 --> 00:03:30,163 That one is big. 83 00:03:30,165 --> 00:03:33,499 Aah! I hate you! 84 00:03:33,501 --> 00:03:34,834 Where did you get this dress? 85 00:03:34,836 --> 00:03:36,219 In town? 86 00:03:36,221 --> 00:03:37,303 Burn it! 87 00:03:37,305 --> 00:03:39,172 I look ugly all the time! 88 00:03:39,174 --> 00:03:40,673 You hate me, Blanche! 89 00:03:40,675 --> 00:03:44,677 You hate me! That's why you make me dress like this! 90 00:03:44,679 --> 00:03:46,062 I'm sorry, Miss Beatrice. 91 00:03:46,064 --> 00:03:47,680 I-- 92 00:03:47,682 --> 00:03:49,182 Emotions aren't something I understand, 93 00:03:49,184 --> 00:03:51,350 but I just keep screaming until I get my way, 94 00:03:51,352 --> 00:03:53,603 vomit, or get my way. 95 00:03:53,605 --> 00:03:56,272 Clean up the mess you made, Blanche! 96 00:04:00,028 --> 00:04:02,195 "Sincerely, 97 00:04:02,197 --> 00:04:06,165 The Kidnapper." 98 00:04:06,167 --> 00:04:09,118 [whimsical music] 99 00:04:09,120 --> 00:04:13,339 100 00:04:13,341 --> 00:04:15,424 Oh, farmers. 101 00:04:15,426 --> 00:04:17,877 Oh, farmers. 102 00:04:17,879 --> 00:04:19,212 Farmers. 103 00:04:19,214 --> 00:04:22,265 [moaning] 104 00:04:22,267 --> 00:04:27,053 105 00:04:27,055 --> 00:04:30,056 [screaming] 106 00:04:50,912 --> 00:04:52,795 [shouting] 107 00:04:52,797 --> 00:04:54,714 What is all that howling and crashing? 108 00:04:54,716 --> 00:04:57,049 It's just Beatrice's Wednesday tantrum. 109 00:04:57,051 --> 00:04:59,719 She'll vomit, and then men-stru-ate, 110 00:04:59,721 --> 00:05:01,470 and then all will be well. 111 00:05:01,472 --> 00:05:06,592 One more, below the 86th parallel. 112 00:05:06,594 --> 00:05:09,478 - Garfield. - Mm-hmm. 113 00:05:09,480 --> 00:05:10,846 I've never been more afraid. 114 00:05:10,848 --> 00:05:12,815 Don't worry. You'll do great! 115 00:05:12,817 --> 00:05:16,352 I'm not talking about myself, you syphilitic chimney sweep! 116 00:05:16,354 --> 00:05:18,938 I'm talking about you running things in my absence. 117 00:05:18,940 --> 00:05:20,823 If so much as a single cob of corn 118 00:05:20,825 --> 00:05:23,659 is out of place when I return, I'll shove it into your rectum 119 00:05:23,661 --> 00:05:27,163 along with your termination notice. One more. 120 00:05:27,165 --> 00:05:29,165 You must clean this up, Blanche. 121 00:05:29,167 --> 00:05:31,450 Don't be an idiot. 122 00:05:31,452 --> 00:05:34,453 Don't be-- 123 00:05:34,455 --> 00:05:36,372 Don't be an idiot. 124 00:05:36,374 --> 00:05:39,375 [music] 125 00:05:39,377 --> 00:05:47,300 126 00:05:47,302 --> 00:05:50,853 I do spend a lot of time in Paris. 127 00:05:50,855 --> 00:05:53,806 [music] 128 00:05:53,808 --> 00:05:57,977 129 00:05:57,979 --> 00:06:01,314 Why, Peepers, you look almost human. 130 00:06:01,316 --> 00:06:03,282 Madam, I assure you I am not. 131 00:06:03,284 --> 00:06:06,986 Shall I lash myself to the roof, or stuff myself in the trunk? 132 00:06:06,988 --> 00:06:09,989 Oh, no, no. You'll ride in back with me. 133 00:06:09,991 --> 00:06:11,157 Oh, no, Madam. 134 00:06:11,159 --> 00:06:13,542 My bottom was not meant for comfortable things, 135 00:06:13,544 --> 00:06:15,494 and it would not be proper. 136 00:06:15,496 --> 00:06:18,164 It is an order. 137 00:06:18,166 --> 00:06:19,915 As you wish, Madam. 138 00:06:24,505 --> 00:06:27,089 Really? 139 00:06:27,091 --> 00:06:27,923 [gasps] 140 00:06:27,925 --> 00:06:30,559 - [tense music] - Oh. 141 00:06:30,561 --> 00:06:32,094 Hello. 142 00:06:32,096 --> 00:06:34,847 Are you lost? Did you wander into the wrong manor? 143 00:06:34,849 --> 00:06:37,183 Where are your lady's maids? Do you want to be best friends? 144 00:06:37,185 --> 00:06:38,734 - I don't understand. What-- - Come on. 145 00:06:38,736 --> 00:06:40,152 What-- I don't. 146 00:06:40,154 --> 00:06:42,938 I don't think Beatrice knows it's me! 147 00:06:42,940 --> 00:06:45,524 Then again, I once saw her get into an argument with an egg, 148 00:06:45,526 --> 00:06:47,743 and she lost, so. 149 00:06:50,531 --> 00:06:53,532 [sobbing] 150 00:06:53,534 --> 00:06:56,535 [music] 151 00:06:56,537 --> 00:06:59,872 152 00:06:59,874 --> 00:07:02,208 How dare you treat me so roughly? 153 00:07:02,210 --> 00:07:04,126 - What the hell was that? - An abduction. 154 00:07:04,128 --> 00:07:06,212 What do you think a kidnapping is, huh? 155 00:07:06,214 --> 00:07:09,131 A short sabbatical followed by international acclaim. 156 00:07:09,133 --> 00:07:11,467 I'm the former Under-Duchess to former Lower Bavaria! 157 00:07:11,469 --> 00:07:16,555 Well, you're the current duchess of my dirt floor. 158 00:07:16,557 --> 00:07:20,059 Now, would you care for some tea, Madam? 159 00:07:20,061 --> 00:07:22,778 Finally, a little service around here. 160 00:07:28,036 --> 00:07:29,485 Oops. 161 00:07:29,487 --> 00:07:30,736 I spilled. 162 00:07:30,738 --> 00:07:32,405 Clean it up, piggy. 163 00:07:32,407 --> 00:07:35,991 And while you're at it... 164 00:07:35,993 --> 00:07:38,210 [groaning] 165 00:07:38,212 --> 00:07:39,662 clean that up too. 166 00:07:39,664 --> 00:07:41,714 If you think I'm going anywhere 167 00:07:41,716 --> 00:07:43,249 near that festering mass 168 00:07:43,251 --> 00:07:46,252 of boils you call your penis, you're wrong. 169 00:07:46,254 --> 00:07:47,503 How do you know that they're festering? 170 00:07:47,505 --> 00:07:49,138 You been thinking about them? 171 00:07:49,140 --> 00:07:51,340 Oh, you just you wait until my family finds my ransom note! 172 00:07:51,342 --> 00:07:53,059 You'll be sorry! Ah! 173 00:07:53,061 --> 00:07:55,094 I'll slit your throat, princess. 174 00:07:55,096 --> 00:07:58,097 [music] 175 00:07:58,099 --> 00:08:00,733 176 00:08:00,735 --> 00:08:02,985 Maybe I was being a little rough on her, 177 00:08:02,987 --> 00:08:06,906 but, hey, she said she wanted it to seem real. 178 00:08:06,908 --> 00:08:08,607 And also, in retrospect, 179 00:08:08,609 --> 00:08:12,695 I probably shouldn't have poured boiling water on my genitals. 180 00:08:14,545 --> 00:08:17,430 [music] 181 00:08:17,432 --> 00:08:19,465 Mr. Mark Twain. 182 00:08:19,467 --> 00:08:23,018 Dodo! What a pleasure to see you again. 183 00:08:23,020 --> 00:08:25,688 Last I saw you, I had the sour-mash shits 184 00:08:25,690 --> 00:08:28,224 at your daughter's husband's fake funeral. 185 00:08:28,226 --> 00:08:30,726 Nasty affair that turned out to be. 186 00:08:30,728 --> 00:08:34,780 The funeral or the shits? 187 00:08:34,782 --> 00:08:38,901 This is my husband, The Commodore. 188 00:08:38,903 --> 00:08:41,070 - [glass shatters] - Oh, Blanche, 189 00:08:41,072 --> 00:08:42,905 I think you might be the best friend I've ever had. 190 00:08:42,907 --> 00:08:44,874 Except for my bed, David, but he's more like family. 191 00:08:44,876 --> 00:08:48,711 Well, the last 30 minutes have been really amazing for me too. 192 00:08:48,713 --> 00:08:50,329 - Can I tell you a secret? - Yes. 193 00:08:50,331 --> 00:08:52,214 We had this servant. Her name was Anna. 194 00:08:52,216 --> 00:08:55,134 That's my sister--'s name. 195 00:08:55,136 --> 00:08:56,252 Oh! Funny. 196 00:08:56,254 --> 00:08:57,753 Well, Anna ran away. 197 00:08:57,755 --> 00:08:58,921 Only she didn't run away. 198 00:08:58,923 --> 00:09:00,756 She's in a box, under my bed. 199 00:09:00,758 --> 00:09:01,891 At least, I think she is. 200 00:09:01,893 --> 00:09:03,309 I haven't checked in a while. 201 00:09:03,311 --> 00:09:04,760 Oh! Uh-- 202 00:09:04,762 --> 00:09:06,262 everyone needs hobbies. 203 00:09:06,264 --> 00:09:09,899 Garfield, have Blanche fetch my friend a sandwich. 204 00:09:09,901 --> 00:09:13,402 Oh, but Lady Beatrice, this is Blanche. 205 00:09:13,404 --> 00:09:14,687 I just said Blanche. 206 00:09:14,689 --> 00:09:16,605 You're so stupid! 207 00:09:16,607 --> 00:09:17,990 See, sometimes you have to be mean to them. 208 00:09:17,992 --> 00:09:20,192 They respond better that way. Ooh, try it! 209 00:09:20,194 --> 00:09:21,877 Well, I'm not sure that I can do that. 210 00:09:21,879 --> 00:09:24,280 You can do it. 211 00:09:24,282 --> 00:09:25,448 Garfield. 212 00:09:25,450 --> 00:09:26,832 Mm-hmm? 213 00:09:26,834 --> 00:09:29,452 You look like you have rickets. 214 00:09:29,454 --> 00:09:30,786 Oh. How did you know? 215 00:09:30,788 --> 00:09:32,788 Not like that! Garfield. 216 00:09:32,790 --> 00:09:33,789 Yes, ma'am? 217 00:09:33,791 --> 00:09:36,208 You're fired. 218 00:09:36,210 --> 00:09:37,259 I'm a what? 219 00:09:37,261 --> 00:09:39,762 - You're fired. - I'm fired? 220 00:09:39,764 --> 00:09:42,631 I-- This is the worst day of my life! 221 00:09:42,633 --> 00:09:44,800 Oh, God! 222 00:09:44,802 --> 00:09:46,969 I can't be fired! 223 00:09:46,971 --> 00:09:48,804 I'm just kidding. You're not fired. 224 00:09:48,806 --> 00:09:50,306 Oh, very good. 225 00:09:50,308 --> 00:09:51,974 I love to watch the light go out in their eyes. 226 00:09:51,976 --> 00:09:53,859 Oh, you got me good-- 227 00:09:53,861 --> 00:09:54,860 But get her that sandwich. 228 00:09:54,862 --> 00:09:57,813 Yes, right away. 229 00:09:57,815 --> 00:10:00,449 I'll have to show you Anna later. 230 00:10:00,451 --> 00:10:02,651 Yes, please. 231 00:10:02,653 --> 00:10:04,820 [whistling] 232 00:10:04,822 --> 00:10:06,622 Yes. 233 00:10:06,624 --> 00:10:08,491 That's a good little piggy. 234 00:10:08,493 --> 00:10:09,708 Clean it up. 235 00:10:09,710 --> 00:10:12,828 You know what? 236 00:10:12,830 --> 00:10:13,829 Cook me dinner. 237 00:10:13,831 --> 00:10:14,830 What's that? 238 00:10:14,832 --> 00:10:16,048 It's a potato. 239 00:10:16,050 --> 00:10:17,166 Where's the silver tray? 240 00:10:17,168 --> 00:10:18,551 Where's the beurre blanc? 241 00:10:18,553 --> 00:10:20,970 Just cook it. 242 00:10:20,972 --> 00:10:23,506 Not with your hands. 243 00:10:23,508 --> 00:10:25,841 Teeth. 244 00:10:25,843 --> 00:10:28,844 [music] 245 00:10:28,846 --> 00:10:35,401 246 00:10:35,403 --> 00:10:38,153 Now, let us begin with an absinthe toast! 247 00:10:38,155 --> 00:10:40,239 Raise your glasses. 248 00:10:40,241 --> 00:10:41,774 Mmm. 249 00:10:41,776 --> 00:10:43,953 Drink up, Commodore! 250 00:10:47,248 --> 00:10:50,416 Allow me to introduce today's guests. 251 00:10:50,418 --> 00:10:56,088 The wild-haired superstar of Russian Marxism, Leon Trotsky! 252 00:10:56,090 --> 00:10:59,842 I am just here to further the cause of the working class. 253 00:10:59,844 --> 00:11:01,377 Our next guest is a lawyer 254 00:11:01,379 --> 00:11:04,680 who's gotten me out of many a fraud charge. 255 00:11:04,682 --> 00:11:07,550 Mohandas Gandhi, everyone! 256 00:11:07,552 --> 00:11:10,219 I'm just here for the white women. 257 00:11:10,221 --> 00:11:13,556 (Mark Twain) You wicked Oriental elf. 258 00:11:13,558 --> 00:11:14,940 What are you doing, man? 259 00:11:14,942 --> 00:11:16,525 Are you attempting to serve a warm bisque 260 00:11:16,527 --> 00:11:18,227 with a gazpacho spoon? 261 00:11:18,229 --> 00:11:20,446 What is this, the beer hall? 262 00:11:20,448 --> 00:11:25,067 The Commodore is a-- a stickler for silverware. 263 00:11:25,069 --> 00:11:26,735 I am a stickler for the barest standards 264 00:11:26,737 --> 00:11:29,204 of propriety from a butler! 265 00:11:29,206 --> 00:11:32,241 Why is Blanche acting like she isn't one of us? 266 00:11:32,243 --> 00:11:34,043 I mean, it must be switcheroo day. 267 00:11:34,045 --> 00:11:35,911 There is no switcheroo day. 268 00:11:35,913 --> 00:11:39,298 Beatrice is such an idiot, she can't tell Blanche is a servant, 269 00:11:39,300 --> 00:11:41,000 because she's wearing her dress. 270 00:11:41,002 --> 00:11:43,085 But Beatrice can't be an idiot. 271 00:11:43,087 --> 00:11:44,553 She lives upstairs! 272 00:11:44,555 --> 00:11:48,591 Sounds like you need to switcheroo your attitude, 273 00:11:48,593 --> 00:11:50,059 [chuckles] Chair. 274 00:11:50,061 --> 00:11:51,927 Ready to clean, Eileen? 275 00:11:51,929 --> 00:11:54,263 "Yes, Garfield!" 276 00:11:54,265 --> 00:11:56,932 Don't get jealous, Towel. 277 00:11:56,934 --> 00:11:58,567 I always say, 278 00:11:58,569 --> 00:12:01,937 "Have enough servants to satisfy your every whim, 279 00:12:01,939 --> 00:12:04,239 but not enough to murder your family." 280 00:12:04,241 --> 00:12:05,491 Excellent point, Madam-- 281 00:12:05,493 --> 00:12:07,026 wife-- madam wife. 282 00:12:07,028 --> 00:12:09,361 Families should only be murdered during revolution. 283 00:12:09,363 --> 00:12:11,780 - Gandhi, boy? A rebuttal? - Well, no offense, 284 00:12:11,782 --> 00:12:13,949 but you sound like you belong to the bitch caste. 285 00:12:13,951 --> 00:12:17,286 I was raped in a gulag by Cossacks. 286 00:12:17,288 --> 00:12:19,872 Do you think your insults mean anything to me? 287 00:12:19,874 --> 00:12:21,206 I don't know what a gulag is, 288 00:12:21,208 --> 00:12:23,459 but I will send you right back there! 289 00:12:23,461 --> 00:12:24,927 - Come here! - Mr. Ghandi! 290 00:12:24,929 --> 00:12:26,962 Mr. Ghandi, Mr. Trotsky, please! 291 00:12:26,964 --> 00:12:28,764 Spirited debate is one thing. 292 00:12:28,766 --> 00:12:31,050 Violence is quite another. 293 00:12:31,052 --> 00:12:32,801 Non-violence. 294 00:12:32,803 --> 00:12:35,220 I had never thought of that. 295 00:12:35,222 --> 00:12:37,690 Because I'm not a little bitch! 296 00:12:37,692 --> 00:12:39,141 Ah! 297 00:12:40,027 --> 00:12:41,977 Dear God, please free me. 298 00:12:41,979 --> 00:12:44,146 And if you have time, make me really famous. 299 00:12:44,148 --> 00:12:45,814 And while you're at it, God, would you mind 300 00:12:45,816 --> 00:12:47,616 killing all my enemies in a fire? 301 00:12:47,618 --> 00:12:49,985 Ooh, but hopefully after they bathe, so their hair's still wet 302 00:12:49,987 --> 00:12:51,904 and the fire takes longer to cook them. 303 00:12:51,906 --> 00:12:53,572 Ah! 304 00:12:53,574 --> 00:12:55,824 Praying to God, huh? 305 00:12:55,826 --> 00:12:57,493 You silly little piggy. 306 00:12:57,495 --> 00:12:59,628 What's the latest gossip in town about my kidnapping? 307 00:12:59,630 --> 00:13:01,497 Has a search party been sent out? 308 00:13:01,499 --> 00:13:03,165 Are the banks closed? 309 00:13:03,167 --> 00:13:04,667 Well, actually, there's a real pleasantness in the air. 310 00:13:04,669 --> 00:13:08,554 Like some horrible lingering fart just left the room. 311 00:13:08,556 --> 00:13:10,756 You know, at first I was able to accept your abuse 312 00:13:10,758 --> 00:13:13,926 as a realistic detail in a curated kidnapping experience, 313 00:13:13,928 --> 00:13:15,594 but-- you're just rude, 314 00:13:15,596 --> 00:13:17,896 and I've taken enough abuse from you, and I want to go home! 315 00:13:17,898 --> 00:13:20,015 Fine! You can go. 316 00:13:20,017 --> 00:13:21,850 I won't stop you. 317 00:13:21,852 --> 00:13:25,070 But I imagine the newspapers will be very interested to know 318 00:13:25,072 --> 00:13:27,690 that you hired me to kidnap you. 319 00:13:27,692 --> 00:13:29,441 Ugh, you're a monster! 320 00:13:29,443 --> 00:13:33,278 - [laughs] - [grunting] 321 00:13:33,280 --> 00:13:36,498 Penis-size-wise, you're correct. 322 00:13:36,500 --> 00:13:37,833 [chuckles] 323 00:13:37,835 --> 00:13:40,786 Your breath smells like broth. 324 00:13:40,788 --> 00:13:42,337 So you'll stay? 325 00:13:42,339 --> 00:13:45,708 I don't suppose I have any other choice, do I? 326 00:13:45,710 --> 00:13:49,094 No. No choice. 327 00:13:49,096 --> 00:13:50,679 No choice at all. 328 00:13:50,681 --> 00:13:53,632 [suggestive music] 329 00:13:53,634 --> 00:13:56,518 330 00:13:56,520 --> 00:13:58,937 Life is not possible without the working man. 331 00:13:58,939 --> 00:14:00,222 Point for the Jew! 332 00:14:00,224 --> 00:14:01,774 Without the rich, 333 00:14:01,776 --> 00:14:04,143 the serving class would have nothing to do but gamble, 334 00:14:04,145 --> 00:14:06,061 eat taffy, and drink gasoline! 335 00:14:06,063 --> 00:14:07,646 But the serving class suffers! 336 00:14:07,648 --> 00:14:09,865 As we should! 337 00:14:09,867 --> 00:14:10,899 Uhh-- they should! 338 00:14:10,901 --> 00:14:12,367 As they should! 339 00:14:12,369 --> 00:14:14,486 Just imag-- a thought. A thought, everybody. 340 00:14:14,488 --> 00:14:19,324 What would happen if everybody had enough food? 341 00:14:19,326 --> 00:14:21,577 Uh, we would all have something to eat. 342 00:14:21,579 --> 00:14:23,996 No! Well, yes, probably. 343 00:14:23,998 --> 00:14:25,080 But then what? 344 00:14:25,082 --> 00:14:26,548 Laziness. 345 00:14:26,550 --> 00:14:27,382 Sloth. 346 00:14:27,384 --> 00:14:29,384 Soon, nobody would do anything. 347 00:14:29,386 --> 00:14:31,920 There are always people who have to do the jobs 348 00:14:31,922 --> 00:14:33,088 that nobody else wants to do. 349 00:14:33,090 --> 00:14:34,757 If the Chinamen had enough to eat, 350 00:14:34,759 --> 00:14:36,759 he wouldn't want to string the telegraph wires, would he? 351 00:14:36,761 --> 00:14:39,728 Look, I don't like Chinamen either, but it's still not fair. 352 00:14:39,730 --> 00:14:42,314 We have such a thing in this world as order. 353 00:14:42,316 --> 00:14:44,399 The strong rule the weak. 354 00:14:44,401 --> 00:14:47,436 If there were only strong, overpopulation ensues! 355 00:14:47,438 --> 00:14:49,571 Soon there will be one billion people on this planet. 356 00:14:49,573 --> 00:14:52,241 Do you think our planet can afford one billion people? 357 00:14:52,243 --> 00:14:53,692 Of course not! The planet 358 00:14:53,694 --> 00:14:56,328 itself will sink down into space and explode. 359 00:14:56,330 --> 00:14:57,746 I'm having a great time. 360 00:14:57,748 --> 00:14:59,031 I am The Commodore. 361 00:14:59,033 --> 00:15:00,282 - Hear, hear. - Hear, hear. 362 00:15:00,284 --> 00:15:01,617 Well played. 363 00:15:03,437 --> 00:15:04,603 - Ah! - Ah! Take me! 364 00:15:04,605 --> 00:15:07,556 All right. 365 00:15:07,558 --> 00:15:09,141 I'll take you, I guess-- 366 00:15:09,143 --> 00:15:11,010 Ah, yeah. Ah! Yeah-- 367 00:15:11,012 --> 00:15:12,811 Oh, sorry. 368 00:15:12,813 --> 00:15:13,979 Sorry. Is your hair okay? 369 00:15:13,981 --> 00:15:15,514 - Take me! - Okay, yeah, sure. 370 00:15:15,516 --> 00:15:17,316 - I'll-- I'll-- I'll take you-- - Give it to me! 371 00:15:17,318 --> 00:15:20,602 I'll take you. Yeah, no, just one second here, 372 00:15:20,604 --> 00:15:22,821 and we are off to the races-- 373 00:15:22,823 --> 00:15:25,190 - Give me it! - One second, and-- one second. 374 00:15:25,192 --> 00:15:27,743 - Uh-huh. Yes. - Just one sec-- okay. 375 00:15:27,745 --> 00:15:30,029 Oh, no-- oh, oh, oh, oh! Here we go. 376 00:15:30,031 --> 00:15:32,865 - Yeah-- No. There. One second. - Ow. 377 00:15:38,456 --> 00:15:39,538 Oops! 378 00:15:39,540 --> 00:15:40,923 I dropped my fork. 379 00:15:40,925 --> 00:15:42,758 Oh, no, that's okay, Garfield. 380 00:15:42,760 --> 00:15:44,293 I'd like Chair to do it. 381 00:15:44,295 --> 00:15:47,296 [music] 382 00:15:47,298 --> 00:15:51,684 383 00:15:51,686 --> 00:15:54,636 You're going to regret this. 384 00:15:54,638 --> 00:15:57,056 Oops! I dropped my fork, too. 385 00:15:57,058 --> 00:15:59,558 Chair, stop making me drop things! 386 00:15:59,560 --> 00:16:01,226 Oh, I would like an oyster, please. 387 00:16:01,228 --> 00:16:02,227 Hmm. 388 00:16:02,229 --> 00:16:07,950 389 00:16:07,952 --> 00:16:09,401 Actually, I changed my mind. 390 00:16:09,403 --> 00:16:10,652 I don't want an oyster. 391 00:16:10,654 --> 00:16:12,037 Oh, I do. 392 00:16:12,039 --> 00:16:13,405 Of course, now that I'm thinking about it, 393 00:16:13,407 --> 00:16:15,824 I would like an oyster. 394 00:16:15,826 --> 00:16:20,329 I feel like I should have one first. 395 00:16:20,331 --> 00:16:21,830 Thank you. 396 00:16:21,832 --> 00:16:23,605 Will you feed it to me? 397 00:16:26,670 --> 00:16:30,055 Thank you, Chair. 398 00:16:30,057 --> 00:16:31,173 Oops! 399 00:16:31,175 --> 00:16:33,092 I dropped my fork again. 400 00:16:33,094 --> 00:16:35,561 [laughter] 401 00:16:35,563 --> 00:16:40,099 Oh. Oh, whoops. 402 00:16:40,101 --> 00:16:43,936 I know I'm not supposed to feed the animals. 403 00:16:43,938 --> 00:16:48,323 - Oops! - [laughs] 404 00:16:48,325 --> 00:16:51,744 (both) Meat Face! Meat Face! Meat Face! 405 00:16:51,746 --> 00:16:55,197 They chose the wrong bitch to throw meat at. 406 00:16:55,199 --> 00:16:56,665 This doesn't usually happen to me-- 407 00:16:56,667 --> 00:16:58,917 No, no, I know. 408 00:16:58,919 --> 00:17:02,171 - Was it because of me? - It wasn't because of you. 409 00:17:02,173 --> 00:17:07,376 I guess it kind of ruined things when you said you were into it. 410 00:17:07,378 --> 00:17:09,428 Not that I didn't want you to be into it, but-- 411 00:17:09,430 --> 00:17:11,964 I just didn't want you to tell me that you were into it. 412 00:17:11,966 --> 00:17:14,967 It ruins it for me. 413 00:17:14,969 --> 00:17:17,136 Next time I'll be sure to cry and vomit. 414 00:17:20,107 --> 00:17:23,142 - I'm gonna go-- - I-- I think you should go. 415 00:17:27,314 --> 00:17:30,199 You were marvelous this evening. 416 00:17:30,201 --> 00:17:32,284 That's why they call you the Commodore. 417 00:17:32,286 --> 00:17:34,953 - I'm your butler-- - I must repay you 418 00:17:34,955 --> 00:17:37,790 for your brilliant performance this evening. 419 00:17:37,792 --> 00:17:39,825 I'm going to blow your bellows. 420 00:17:39,827 --> 00:17:42,744 Oh, no, no, no. No, no, I cannot allow such a thing. 421 00:17:42,746 --> 00:17:44,129 No, no. No. 422 00:17:44,131 --> 00:17:47,082 Madam, I cannot allow such a proposition. 423 00:17:47,084 --> 00:17:48,133 Unbutton! 424 00:17:48,135 --> 00:17:52,254 That is an order! [laughs] 425 00:17:52,256 --> 00:17:54,256 As you wish, Madam. 426 00:17:58,345 --> 00:18:00,846 Ohh! 427 00:18:02,349 --> 00:18:03,649 Blanche. 428 00:18:03,651 --> 00:18:05,350 Almost happy to see you. 429 00:18:05,352 --> 00:18:06,735 Now, I had the worst day. 430 00:18:06,737 --> 00:18:08,103 Get me a poultice, a dildo, 431 00:18:08,105 --> 00:18:09,855 and a soft French cheese. 432 00:18:09,857 --> 00:18:11,523 - Yes, my lady. - Where's Beatrice? 433 00:18:11,525 --> 00:18:13,775 She has oyster diarrhea, my lady. 434 00:18:13,777 --> 00:18:15,110 - [flatulence] - What are you doing 435 00:18:15,112 --> 00:18:17,529 in that dress? Take that off immediately! 436 00:18:17,531 --> 00:18:20,032 - Yes, my lady. - [grunting] 437 00:18:24,288 --> 00:18:26,922 Now, I'll be in my room, waiting on that dildo. 438 00:18:26,924 --> 00:18:29,208 - Yes, my lady. - Heat it up in the bath first. 439 00:18:29,210 --> 00:18:31,260 Yes, my lady. 440 00:18:31,262 --> 00:18:34,046 [toilet flushing] 441 00:18:34,048 --> 00:18:38,383 Hello, Blanche, have you seen my new friend Bla-- 442 00:18:38,385 --> 00:18:40,052 Wait a minute. 443 00:18:40,054 --> 00:18:41,186 You're not Blanche the person. 444 00:18:41,188 --> 00:18:42,688 You're Blanche the servant! 445 00:18:42,690 --> 00:18:44,556 Get out of my room! I never want to see you again, 446 00:18:44,558 --> 00:18:45,941 unless you're bringing me breakfast, 447 00:18:45,943 --> 00:18:47,359 so I'll see you in the morning! 448 00:18:47,361 --> 00:18:50,062 Yes. What would you like for breakfast? 449 00:18:50,064 --> 00:18:52,064 - Eggs Beatrice! - Yes, my lady. 450 00:18:52,066 --> 00:18:54,449 I'm sorry, my lady. 451 00:18:54,451 --> 00:18:57,069 [grunts] 452 00:18:57,071 --> 00:19:00,289 Oh! I like this dress! Mmm. 453 00:19:00,291 --> 00:19:02,824 Oh, I knew the whole time. I was just having fun. 454 00:19:05,127 --> 00:19:08,461 [electronic music] 455 00:19:08,463 --> 00:19:10,547 Peepers, I don't mean to be a Nosy Parker, 456 00:19:10,549 --> 00:19:13,550 but I must tell you something quite shocking. 457 00:19:13,552 --> 00:19:15,101 What is it, Chair? 458 00:19:15,103 --> 00:19:17,887 Blanche spent all of yesterday in one of Beatrice's dresses, 459 00:19:17,889 --> 00:19:21,307 impersonating an upper-class woman. 460 00:19:21,309 --> 00:19:23,143 Hmm. 461 00:19:23,145 --> 00:19:27,647 Well, I think we can let this little impropriety slide. 462 00:19:27,649 --> 00:19:32,485 We all deserve a switcheroo every now and again, eh, Chair? 463 00:19:32,487 --> 00:19:34,654 - But, sir-- - Ooh, speaking of butts, Chair, 464 00:19:34,656 --> 00:19:37,323 there is an oyster situation in Beatrice's water closet 465 00:19:37,325 --> 00:19:40,043 that I need you to attend to post haste. Go. 466 00:19:40,045 --> 00:19:42,996 Muddy, muddy, scrubby, scrubby. 467 00:19:50,138 --> 00:19:52,222 I'll need you to skin those potatoes. 468 00:19:52,224 --> 00:19:54,674 Ask the cook. Not my job! 469 00:19:54,676 --> 00:19:56,976 Turns out I'm your boss. 470 00:19:56,978 --> 00:20:01,431 So it's your job now, piggy. 471 00:20:11,026 --> 00:20:13,743 Great. Now you get hard! 472 00:20:13,745 --> 00:20:16,780 [peaceful music] 473 00:20:16,782 --> 00:20:22,001 474 00:20:22,003 --> 00:20:26,873 Oh! Oh, ho, Peepers! 475 00:20:26,875 --> 00:20:30,293 Oh, what happened last night? 476 00:20:30,295 --> 00:20:33,930 I don't remember anything after the toast. 477 00:20:33,932 --> 00:20:38,551 Oh-- no, nothing. 478 00:20:38,553 --> 00:20:41,938 I'm never drinking absinthe again. 479 00:20:41,940 --> 00:20:43,273 That reminds me, 480 00:20:43,275 --> 00:20:46,860 I have a pair of soiled bloomers from last night 481 00:20:46,862 --> 00:20:48,194 that need laundering. 482 00:20:48,196 --> 00:20:50,864 So you-- take care of that, will you? 483 00:20:50,866 --> 00:20:54,234 Muddy, muddy, scrubby, scrubby. 484 00:20:54,236 --> 00:20:55,735 As you wish, Madam. 485 00:20:57,094 --> 00:20:59,750 Sync and corrections by n17t01 www.addic7ed.com 486 00:20:59,800 --> 00:21:04,350 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 33768

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