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1
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[pleasant string music]
2
00:00:03,789 --> 00:00:09,359
3
00:00:09,361 --> 00:00:10,526
[groaning]
4
00:00:10,528 --> 00:00:12,528
Welcome home.
5
00:00:12,530 --> 00:00:14,197
[laughing]
6
00:00:14,199 --> 00:00:15,431
Oh.
7
00:00:15,433 --> 00:00:17,867
Oh, my dumb little dumplings.
8
00:00:17,869 --> 00:00:19,602
I'm missed your faces.
9
00:00:19,604 --> 00:00:20,904
Oh, Father...
10
00:00:20,906 --> 00:00:22,638
We've missed your gifts.
11
00:00:22,640 --> 00:00:23,839
And who is this?
12
00:00:23,841 --> 00:00:25,108
(Commodore)
Oh, Dodo,
13
00:00:25,110 --> 00:00:26,709
showing your provincial roots
again?
14
00:00:26,711 --> 00:00:29,578
You don't recognize celebrated
chef Chauncey Allister?
15
00:00:29,580 --> 00:00:33,516
(Chauncey) You told me your
daughters were beautiful,
16
00:00:33,518 --> 00:00:37,052
but you never mentioned
the word "perfection."
17
00:00:39,188 --> 00:00:42,825
I've never seen
a creature so...
18
00:00:42,827 --> 00:00:44,559
robustly formed.
19
00:00:46,296 --> 00:00:48,997
(Commodore)
I have a big surprise for you.
20
00:00:48,999 --> 00:00:51,266
Last week,
Senator Ambrose Burnside
21
00:00:51,268 --> 00:00:53,235
died in a freak mustache fire.
22
00:00:53,437 --> 00:00:55,303
Yay, thank you, Daddy!
23
00:00:55,305 --> 00:00:56,971
That's not the surprise.
24
00:00:56,973 --> 00:00:59,073
(Commodore) A US Senate
seat has become available.
25
00:00:59,075 --> 00:01:00,341
And Frederick,
26
00:01:00,343 --> 00:01:02,476
you shall fill it.
27
00:01:02,478 --> 00:01:04,712
How is Frederick qualified
to be a senator?
28
00:01:04,714 --> 00:01:06,514
He believes rocks are alive.
29
00:01:06,516 --> 00:01:08,149
(Frederick)
That is ridiculous.
30
00:01:08,151 --> 00:01:10,284
Some of the older rocks
have passed away.
31
00:01:10,286 --> 00:01:12,419
(Commodore)
How does it feel, Son?
32
00:01:12,421 --> 00:01:14,421
You are to be appointed
the next US Senator
33
00:01:14,423 --> 00:01:16,057
from the State of Rhode Island.
34
00:01:16,059 --> 00:01:17,391
I am deeply honored
35
00:01:17,393 --> 00:01:19,426
and very excited
for this opportunity.
36
00:01:19,428 --> 00:01:21,862
I only have one question.
37
00:01:21,864 --> 00:01:23,764
What is Senate?
38
00:01:27,101 --> 00:01:30,204
[hip-hop music]
39
00:01:38,511 --> 00:01:41,834
Sync and corrections by n17t01
www.addic7ed.com
40
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Is being a senator a job?
41
00:01:45,453 --> 00:01:47,187
Mm, it's more
like a drinking club
42
00:01:47,189 --> 00:01:48,454
that decides the laws.
43
00:01:48,456 --> 00:01:50,590
Does that mean we
can make the laws?
44
00:01:52,359 --> 00:01:54,260
That's exactly what it means.
45
00:01:54,262 --> 00:01:56,762
We're gonna be able to pass
any law we want.
46
00:01:56,764 --> 00:01:58,030
Oof!
47
00:01:58,032 --> 00:01:59,865
Milady, could you not
48
00:01:59,867 --> 00:02:01,568
aim for my face next time?
49
00:02:01,570 --> 00:02:03,503
(Lillian) You can't talk
to us like that, Blanche.
50
00:02:03,505 --> 00:02:05,405
I'll have your head cut off.
51
00:02:05,407 --> 00:02:07,606
Can you imagine Blanche
without a head?
52
00:02:07,608 --> 00:02:09,374
[laughter]
53
00:02:09,376 --> 00:02:11,177
You know beheadings
aren't legal anymore.
54
00:02:11,179 --> 00:02:12,511
(Lillian)
Tell that to the head dump
55
00:02:12,513 --> 00:02:14,046
Father had built on
the south end of the estate.
56
00:02:14,048 --> 00:02:15,915
(Hortense) All right,
sisters, clear the space.
57
00:02:15,917 --> 00:02:17,917
I have this room reserved
for my meeting today.
58
00:02:17,919 --> 00:02:19,318
Oh!
59
00:02:19,320 --> 00:02:20,652
You can't have a meeting
during cream time.
60
00:02:20,654 --> 00:02:22,421
There's no such thing
as cream time!
61
00:02:22,423 --> 00:02:24,189
Yes, there is,
it's in the Bible.
62
00:02:24,191 --> 00:02:26,891
(Hortense) You're throwing
cream puffs at my sign?
63
00:02:26,893 --> 00:02:28,126
Oh, no we suck the cream out.
64
00:02:28,128 --> 00:02:29,994
We're just
throwing the casings.
65
00:02:29,996 --> 00:02:31,730
[Blanche yelps]
66
00:02:31,732 --> 00:02:33,498
You are such pigs!
67
00:02:33,500 --> 00:02:35,867
(Hortense) You know, now that Frederick
and I are politically active,
68
00:02:35,869 --> 00:02:39,104
it makes your decadent laziness
all the more obscene.
69
00:02:39,106 --> 00:02:41,639
We are not lazy.
70
00:02:41,641 --> 00:02:43,875
Let's move cream time
elsewhere.
71
00:02:51,316 --> 00:02:53,184
Bye, Hortense.
72
00:02:55,787 --> 00:02:57,588
Those jack-a-ninnies
in Washington
73
00:02:57,590 --> 00:03:00,157
insist that Frederick
be psychologically vetted
74
00:03:00,159 --> 00:03:01,725
before he become a senator,
75
00:03:01,727 --> 00:03:06,697
so they sent Dr. Sigmund Freud
to examine my boy.
76
00:03:06,699 --> 00:03:08,398
Name?
77
00:03:08,400 --> 00:03:09,800
Frederick.
78
00:03:09,802 --> 00:03:11,401
Age?
79
00:03:11,403 --> 00:03:14,804
[breathes deeply]
80
00:03:14,806 --> 00:03:17,474
These questions
are getting really hard.
81
00:03:17,476 --> 00:03:21,244
Do you understand
what a question is?
82
00:03:21,246 --> 00:03:23,380
Well...
83
00:03:23,382 --> 00:03:25,983
Now who's asking the questions?
84
00:03:25,985 --> 00:03:27,817
[chuckles]
85
00:03:27,819 --> 00:03:29,418
Still me.
86
00:03:31,922 --> 00:03:33,756
(Commodore)
You wanted to see me?
87
00:03:33,758 --> 00:03:35,057
This better be important.
88
00:03:35,059 --> 00:03:37,293
I've called you in here
to remind you
89
00:03:37,295 --> 00:03:39,496
that, according to
our marital contract,
90
00:03:39,498 --> 00:03:42,131
I am to fellate you
seven times a year.
91
00:03:42,133 --> 00:03:44,701
I told you, the saltpeter
mines of the Congo
92
00:03:44,703 --> 00:03:46,402
destroyed my sex drive.
93
00:03:46,404 --> 00:03:48,337
I'm so sorry.
94
00:03:48,339 --> 00:03:49,972
- Come here.
- I want you so badly.
95
00:03:49,974 --> 00:03:52,308
Just wanted to feel
close to my husband.
96
00:03:52,310 --> 00:03:54,310
Yes, I feel the same.
97
00:03:56,146 --> 00:03:57,346
Peepers.
98
00:03:57,348 --> 00:03:59,715
I already filled
the syringe, madam.
99
00:03:59,717 --> 00:04:01,017
[sighs]
100
00:04:02,018 --> 00:04:03,485
[moans]
101
00:04:03,487 --> 00:04:06,021
Peepers...
[crying]
102
00:04:06,023 --> 00:04:10,458
I fear that Commodore
is having an affair.
103
00:04:15,197 --> 00:04:17,933
Put the tray over there.
104
00:04:20,602 --> 00:04:22,003
If you want your food,
105
00:04:22,005 --> 00:04:24,172
you're going to have
to come and get it.
106
00:04:24,174 --> 00:04:25,206
No!
107
00:04:25,208 --> 00:04:27,075
Hands and knees.
108
00:04:27,077 --> 00:04:29,110
You're going to crawl.
109
00:04:29,112 --> 00:04:33,581
He called out the name "Celine"
in his sleep.
110
00:04:33,583 --> 00:04:35,315
Sounds French-Canadian.
111
00:04:35,317 --> 00:04:37,151
No!
112
00:04:37,153 --> 00:04:38,385
Ugh.
113
00:04:38,387 --> 00:04:41,088
I move in here
based on the promise
114
00:04:41,090 --> 00:04:43,558
from some pathetic old fool
115
00:04:43,560 --> 00:04:46,460
that it would be
a nice place to keep me close.
116
00:04:46,462 --> 00:04:48,195
Then the bastard disappears.
117
00:04:48,197 --> 00:04:51,465
The thought of him
engaging in sexual congress
118
00:04:51,467 --> 00:04:54,000
with a snow-Negro...
119
00:04:54,002 --> 00:04:55,369
Oh, no.
120
00:04:55,371 --> 00:04:57,137
I'm sorry, darling.
121
00:04:57,139 --> 00:05:01,275
Why don't you show me
just how sorry you are?
122
00:05:03,111 --> 00:05:04,744
Oh...
123
00:05:04,746 --> 00:05:06,880
Yes, my mistress.
124
00:05:06,882 --> 00:05:09,015
[exhales]
125
00:05:12,252 --> 00:05:13,486
You look like you climbed
126
00:05:13,488 --> 00:05:15,121
out of a pile
of dirty underwear.
127
00:05:15,123 --> 00:05:16,590
Leave me alone, troll.
128
00:05:16,592 --> 00:05:18,458
Don't you have a bridge
to guard?
129
00:05:18,460 --> 00:05:20,694
I quit that job.
Too much billy goat shit.
130
00:05:20,696 --> 00:05:21,962
So that's your scheme, huh?
131
00:05:21,964 --> 00:05:24,964
Feeding your fish
to the Commodore?
132
00:05:26,266 --> 00:05:28,867
It's pretty obvious.
133
00:05:28,869 --> 00:05:29,902
Ugh!
134
00:05:29,904 --> 00:05:31,471
Ah, what are you--
135
00:05:32,839 --> 00:05:36,209
You always did know
how to make me horny.
136
00:05:36,211 --> 00:05:39,178
You say a word,
and you are dead man.
137
00:05:39,180 --> 00:05:40,879
Death don't scare me.
138
00:05:43,282 --> 00:05:46,919
I've saved up 50 cents.
139
00:05:46,921 --> 00:05:50,255
That'll do.
140
00:05:50,257 --> 00:05:52,324
For now.
141
00:05:53,760 --> 00:05:57,596
I'm gonna blackmail
the shit out of her.
142
00:05:57,598 --> 00:06:00,698
[rhythmic creaking]
143
00:06:04,437 --> 00:06:06,304
Well, suffragettes,
144
00:06:06,306 --> 00:06:07,772
my pitch for our new slogan.
145
00:06:07,774 --> 00:06:09,574
It's straight to the point.
146
00:06:09,576 --> 00:06:11,075
Feels a little
"on the nose."
147
00:06:11,077 --> 00:06:12,510
I've been working on something
148
00:06:12,512 --> 00:06:14,045
I'm quite happy with.
149
00:06:14,047 --> 00:06:16,013
We're strong, we're sober,
150
00:06:16,015 --> 00:06:18,782
we're virgins.
151
00:06:18,784 --> 00:06:21,418
Uh, we're not virgins,
Hortense.
152
00:06:21,420 --> 00:06:22,653
You're not?
153
00:06:22,655 --> 00:06:26,324
No, we have sex all the time.
154
00:06:26,326 --> 00:06:28,726
(Deb) Look, all I want
is for us to vote
155
00:06:28,728 --> 00:06:32,262
and to get reamed
from time to time.
156
00:06:32,264 --> 00:06:34,998
Next law-- mandatory
bow ties on all dogs.
157
00:06:35,000 --> 00:06:36,199
Of course.
158
00:06:36,201 --> 00:06:37,601
Ooh, and can we put cream time
in the Bible?
159
00:06:37,603 --> 00:06:39,035
- Mm-hmm.
- And chowder bath.
160
00:06:39,037 --> 00:06:40,904
It's my second favorite bath
we take on Tuesdays.
161
00:06:40,906 --> 00:06:42,639
(Frederick)
These are all wonderful ideas.
162
00:06:42,641 --> 00:06:44,908
(Beatrice)
Hmm, what else?
163
00:06:44,910 --> 00:06:46,377
What is going on in here?
164
00:06:46,379 --> 00:06:49,079
Ooh, I know, I want you
to make a law against Hortense.
165
00:06:49,081 --> 00:06:49,946
Done.
166
00:06:49,948 --> 00:06:51,514
Laws don't work like that,
167
00:06:51,516 --> 00:06:53,149
and you should know that
if you're going to be a senator.
168
00:06:53,151 --> 00:06:55,118
Do you even know the three
branches of government?
169
00:06:55,120 --> 00:06:56,386
(Frederick)
Sure I do.
170
00:06:56,388 --> 00:06:58,154
The Nina, the Pinta,
and the Santa Clausaria.
171
00:06:58,156 --> 00:06:59,422
See?
He knows.
172
00:06:59,424 --> 00:07:01,157
(Lillian) Well, someone
better tell the press
173
00:07:01,159 --> 00:07:02,658
to dust off their adjectives
for "beautiful,"
174
00:07:02,660 --> 00:07:03,993
because Beatrice and I
are going to be
175
00:07:03,995 --> 00:07:05,895
the face of this
political dynasty.
176
00:07:05,897 --> 00:07:07,363
(Hortense) I'm sure it will
lake your asses to know
177
00:07:07,365 --> 00:07:09,565
that the press will be attending
my rally this afternoon.
178
00:07:09,567 --> 00:07:11,000
(Lillian)
Oh, are they doing a story
179
00:07:11,002 --> 00:07:13,569
on using the color brown
to accentuate face moles?
180
00:07:13,571 --> 00:07:15,571
[laughter]
181
00:07:15,573 --> 00:07:17,540
They're covering me
because I have a cause,
182
00:07:17,542 --> 00:07:19,442
something I care deeply about.
183
00:07:19,444 --> 00:07:20,675
You should really
try it sometime.
184
00:07:20,677 --> 00:07:21,743
I don't care about anything.
185
00:07:21,745 --> 00:07:24,346
As don't I.
186
00:07:24,348 --> 00:07:26,848
[Lillian and Beatrice scream]
187
00:07:26,850 --> 00:07:28,517
I just realized my cause.
188
00:07:28,519 --> 00:07:29,584
(Beatrice)
What is it?
189
00:07:29,586 --> 00:07:32,121
Ruining Hortense's cause.
190
00:07:35,259 --> 00:07:36,857
Regatta, baby
191
00:07:36,892 --> 00:07:38,046
Well, Dr. Freud,
192
00:07:38,048 --> 00:07:40,514
do you have the results
of Frederick's exam?
193
00:07:40,516 --> 00:07:44,752
I do, and based
on my observations,
194
00:07:44,754 --> 00:07:46,520
Frederick suffers
195
00:07:46,522 --> 00:07:50,123
from latent and acute
homosexuality.
196
00:07:50,125 --> 00:07:52,259
[coughing]
197
00:07:52,261 --> 00:07:54,528
[wheezing furiously]
198
00:07:54,530 --> 00:07:58,365
That is disgusting!
199
00:07:58,367 --> 00:08:01,401
A homosexual in our family?!
200
00:08:01,403 --> 00:08:03,636
Using our toilets?
201
00:08:03,638 --> 00:08:06,940
The idea roils my stomach!
202
00:08:06,942 --> 00:08:09,209
[spits]
203
00:08:09,211 --> 00:08:10,610
Ugh!
204
00:08:10,612 --> 00:08:13,213
[tray clattering]
205
00:08:14,682 --> 00:08:18,952
Well, that is a perfectly
normal reaction.
206
00:08:18,954 --> 00:08:23,690
After all, homosexuality
is an abomination.
207
00:08:23,692 --> 00:08:25,024
Am I going to die?
208
00:08:25,026 --> 00:08:27,927
Homosexuality is quite curable.
209
00:08:27,929 --> 00:08:29,061
[sighs]
210
00:08:29,063 --> 00:08:31,698
There are lots of approaches.
211
00:08:31,700 --> 00:08:34,467
There is soaking in the blood
212
00:08:34,469 --> 00:08:36,735
of a dying Clydesdale.
213
00:08:36,737 --> 00:08:39,805
There is eating
a live wolverine,
214
00:08:39,807 --> 00:08:41,173
slathering one's genitals
215
00:08:41,175 --> 00:08:44,510
in a paste of milk
and ground elephant tusk,
216
00:08:44,512 --> 00:08:46,345
leeches on the anus,
217
00:08:46,347 --> 00:08:48,914
an electrical current
to the anus.
218
00:08:48,916 --> 00:08:50,949
Also training
in the masculine arts.
219
00:08:50,951 --> 00:08:53,919
(Commodore) He'll be sworn
in as senator on Friday.
220
00:08:53,921 --> 00:08:57,422
You give us until then
to file the report.
221
00:08:57,424 --> 00:08:59,124
We'll beat this.
222
00:09:07,466 --> 00:09:11,369
To be queer or not to be queer,
223
00:09:11,371 --> 00:09:13,071
that is the queer-stion.
224
00:09:13,073 --> 00:09:14,272
[lightning crashes]
225
00:09:14,274 --> 00:09:19,210
Whether to live my life
as a homo-Szechwan
226
00:09:19,212 --> 00:09:21,946
or the fight the good fight
and cure myself
227
00:09:21,948 --> 00:09:26,050
of this terrible
and somewhat tempting disease.
228
00:09:26,052 --> 00:09:27,051
[thunder crashes]
229
00:09:27,053 --> 00:09:29,153
[bell tolls]
230
00:09:32,524 --> 00:09:34,191
Excuse me, Chef?
231
00:09:34,193 --> 00:09:35,993
I was wondering if you could
make some more hors d'oeuvres.
232
00:09:35,995 --> 00:09:39,030
My sisters sucked the fillings
out of all of the canapes.
233
00:09:39,032 --> 00:09:42,166
Mm, serving you would be
a most delicious pleasure.
234
00:09:42,168 --> 00:09:44,368
Oh, uh, well, we should hurry.
235
00:09:44,370 --> 00:09:46,070
I don't want
to miss the meeting.
236
00:09:46,072 --> 00:09:49,039
I'm a man who likes
to take his time.
237
00:09:49,041 --> 00:09:52,209
I like to eat a dish
when it's...
238
00:09:52,211 --> 00:09:54,010
ready to be eaten.
239
00:09:55,146 --> 00:09:56,280
Oh...
240
00:09:58,215 --> 00:09:59,616
Can you wait?
241
00:10:01,886 --> 00:10:03,753
Ye--[wheezing] [whispers] Yes.
242
00:10:03,755 --> 00:10:05,455
[gulps]
Yes.
243
00:10:05,457 --> 00:10:06,923
billionaire, billionaire
244
00:10:06,925 --> 00:10:08,992
bitch, kiss the ring
245
00:10:14,298 --> 00:10:15,698
[knocking]
246
00:10:17,568 --> 00:10:19,135
What, what is it?
What do you want?
247
00:10:19,137 --> 00:10:22,605
Father said you could instruct
me in the art of manhood.
248
00:10:22,607 --> 00:10:25,074
Ah, that I can.
249
00:10:25,276 --> 00:10:27,576
I help homosexuals
stop making the choice
250
00:10:27,578 --> 00:10:28,977
to be homosexuals.
251
00:10:28,979 --> 00:10:30,379
It's a hobby.
252
00:10:30,381 --> 00:10:34,016
Now, the most important thing
about being a man
253
00:10:34,018 --> 00:10:35,684
is learning to entice--
254
00:10:35,686 --> 00:10:38,854
nay, entrap the ladies.
255
00:10:38,856 --> 00:10:42,057
And I've got the perfect system
to do this.
256
00:10:42,059 --> 00:10:44,860
Hand me that pig's blood.
257
00:10:49,465 --> 00:10:50,765
[applause]
258
00:10:50,767 --> 00:10:52,334
(Eunice)
Thank you, thank you.
259
00:10:52,336 --> 00:10:53,635
And we will not rest
260
00:10:53,637 --> 00:10:55,437
until every woman everywhere
261
00:10:55,439 --> 00:10:57,138
has the right to vote!
262
00:10:57,140 --> 00:10:58,206
[applause]
263
00:10:58,208 --> 00:10:59,407
Kill yourself!
264
00:10:59,409 --> 00:11:00,542
(Eunice)
What is happening?
265
00:11:00,544 --> 00:11:02,143
Move over, Bowery boys.
266
00:11:02,145 --> 00:11:04,378
What is happening is,
you're trying to ruin
267
00:11:04,380 --> 00:11:07,148
a permanent vacation
for half the species.
268
00:11:07,150 --> 00:11:09,450
Yeah, and no one ruins
vacations except for me
269
00:11:09,452 --> 00:11:11,685
when I've had too much
or too little sugar!
270
00:11:11,687 --> 00:11:13,955
If women are allowed to vote,
it could lead to a world
271
00:11:13,957 --> 00:11:16,590
where women become doctors
or lawyers
272
00:11:16,592 --> 00:11:18,092
or, God forbid, tennis players.
273
00:11:18,094 --> 00:11:19,593
Yeah, that's bad!
274
00:11:19,595 --> 00:11:21,094
You don't know
what you're talking about.
275
00:11:21,096 --> 00:11:22,429
Women should make
their own decisions.
276
00:11:22,431 --> 00:11:24,765
You can't just let men
buy you things.
277
00:11:24,767 --> 00:11:26,199
Well, obviously,
you have no idea
278
00:11:26,201 --> 00:11:27,501
what it's like to be pretty.
279
00:11:27,503 --> 00:11:29,737
Hit it, Beatrice.
280
00:11:29,739 --> 00:11:30,871
[playing Yankee Doodle]
281
00:11:30,873 --> 00:11:32,105
I have a dream,
282
00:11:32,107 --> 00:11:34,074
a dream where women
will never be allowed
283
00:11:34,076 --> 00:11:36,610
to vote, own property,
or handle money.
284
00:11:36,612 --> 00:11:37,978
I have a dream
285
00:11:37,980 --> 00:11:40,646
that women will stay
as they currently are.
286
00:11:40,648 --> 00:11:42,315
We are in the golden age
287
00:11:42,317 --> 00:11:44,517
of women not having
to do anything.
288
00:11:44,519 --> 00:11:46,353
Let's keep it that way.
289
00:11:46,355 --> 00:11:49,322
Yeah, women shouldn't
have voices!
290
00:11:49,324 --> 00:11:52,359
Raise your hand
if you don't want to vote.
291
00:11:53,861 --> 00:11:55,561
(both)
No votes for women!
292
00:11:55,563 --> 00:11:56,863
No votes for women!
293
00:11:56,865 --> 00:11:58,998
No, votes for women!
294
00:11:59,000 --> 00:12:00,833
(both)
No votes for women!
295
00:12:00,835 --> 00:12:02,067
(all)
No, votes for women!
296
00:12:02,069 --> 00:12:03,870
Oh, we're all saying
the same thing.
297
00:12:03,872 --> 00:12:04,871
No votes for women.
298
00:12:04,873 --> 00:12:06,071
No, I have a period
299
00:12:06,073 --> 00:12:07,540
between "no"
and "votes for women."
300
00:12:07,542 --> 00:12:09,275
Ew, that's disgusting.
301
00:12:09,277 --> 00:12:10,709
And "H."
302
00:12:10,711 --> 00:12:14,413
If all else fails, hit them.
303
00:12:14,415 --> 00:12:16,882
H-A-M-I-S-H.
304
00:12:16,884 --> 00:12:18,884
Hamish.
Patent pending.
305
00:12:18,886 --> 00:12:20,319
And you say this works
every time?
306
00:12:20,321 --> 00:12:22,021
(Hamish)
I haven't struck out yet.
307
00:12:22,023 --> 00:12:24,423
I've been working a slow burn
on Blanche
308
00:12:24,425 --> 00:12:25,557
for the last six years.
309
00:12:25,559 --> 00:12:28,927
Soon she will be like elk liver
in my hands.
310
00:12:28,929 --> 00:12:30,662
(Hamish)
So, ready to try one out?
311
00:12:30,664 --> 00:12:32,664
Frederick, stand up.
312
00:12:32,666 --> 00:12:34,699
Garfield,
pretend to be a woman.
313
00:12:34,701 --> 00:12:35,767
No, use me.
314
00:12:35,769 --> 00:12:37,502
I'm twice the woman she is.
315
00:12:37,504 --> 00:12:38,603
Fine.
316
00:12:38,605 --> 00:12:39,971
[giggles]
317
00:12:43,842 --> 00:12:45,443
That a boy.
318
00:12:45,445 --> 00:12:46,777
Way to bring the heat.
319
00:12:46,779 --> 00:12:50,949
Now, let's try
a little aggression.
320
00:12:50,951 --> 00:12:53,318
You have a small wee-wee.
321
00:12:53,320 --> 00:12:54,819
Oh, all right.
322
00:12:54,821 --> 00:12:57,621
Not a very applicable
insult for women,
323
00:12:57,623 --> 00:12:59,424
but you get the idea.
324
00:12:59,426 --> 00:13:02,626
Now, mesmerize.
325
00:13:02,628 --> 00:13:04,161
[soft string music]
326
00:13:04,163 --> 00:13:07,164
I feel like I'm drowning
in your eyes.
327
00:13:07,166 --> 00:13:08,599
Exactly.
328
00:13:08,601 --> 00:13:10,067
Isolate!
329
00:13:12,571 --> 00:13:15,138
Now say her name.
330
00:13:15,140 --> 00:13:17,607
Vigtar.
331
00:13:17,609 --> 00:13:21,378
My name is... Victor.
332
00:13:21,380 --> 00:13:23,947
Really? That doesn't sound
like a name at all.
333
00:13:23,949 --> 00:13:25,415
That's my name, is Victor.
334
00:13:25,417 --> 00:13:26,383
- Victor?
- Yes.
335
00:13:26,385 --> 00:13:27,817
It's always been my name.
336
00:13:27,819 --> 00:13:28,918
No, Vigtar is your name.
337
00:13:28,920 --> 00:13:30,487
- No, Vic--
- Vigtar--
338
00:13:30,489 --> 00:13:31,455
(Hamish)
Just hit her!
339
00:13:31,457 --> 00:13:33,255
Oh!
340
00:13:33,257 --> 00:13:34,724
I said hit her!
341
00:13:34,726 --> 00:13:36,325
Yes, hit her!
342
00:13:36,327 --> 00:13:37,527
Just do it!
343
00:13:37,529 --> 00:13:39,362
Make me feel something.
344
00:13:40,498 --> 00:13:41,598
God, I can't.
345
00:13:41,600 --> 00:13:43,933
I'm sorry.
346
00:13:43,935 --> 00:13:46,168
Hitting a woman seems
almost unnatural to me.
347
00:13:46,170 --> 00:13:49,071
Oh, maybe I am a homosexual.
348
00:13:49,073 --> 00:13:51,673
(Hamish) Everyone in that
house seems gay to me.
349
00:13:51,675 --> 00:13:54,043
[chuckles]
350
00:13:54,045 --> 00:13:55,411
Ooh.
351
00:13:55,413 --> 00:14:00,116
[moaning]
352
00:14:00,118 --> 00:14:01,117
What is--
353
00:14:01,119 --> 00:14:02,218
[moaning]
354
00:14:03,586 --> 00:14:05,854
[giggling]
355
00:14:09,158 --> 00:14:11,259
Oh... oh...
356
00:14:11,261 --> 00:14:12,761
Mm.
357
00:14:12,763 --> 00:14:14,195
[giggles]
358
00:14:14,197 --> 00:14:15,330
Mm.
359
00:14:15,332 --> 00:14:17,298
Oh.
[laughs]
360
00:14:17,300 --> 00:14:19,300
[moaning]
361
00:14:21,237 --> 00:14:23,505
[moaning]
362
00:14:23,507 --> 00:14:26,141
[both moaning]
363
00:14:26,143 --> 00:14:30,278
Oh, I've got one more
blood sausage for you to taste.
364
00:14:31,950 --> 00:14:32,921
I'm the king, baby
365
00:14:33,068 --> 00:14:34,550
I'm the boss
366
00:14:34,552 --> 00:14:36,251
Yes, Celine!
367
00:14:36,253 --> 00:14:38,320
Okay.
368
00:14:38,322 --> 00:14:39,822
I'm done.
369
00:14:39,824 --> 00:14:40,890
No, I'm so close!
370
00:14:40,892 --> 00:14:41,924
I know.
371
00:14:41,926 --> 00:14:43,292
That's why I'm done.
372
00:14:43,294 --> 00:14:44,727
[whimpering]
373
00:14:44,729 --> 00:14:46,595
You torture me so.
374
00:14:46,597 --> 00:14:49,298
Oh, I love you.
375
00:14:49,300 --> 00:14:50,999
You've never said that before.
376
00:14:51,001 --> 00:14:53,035
Well, we've never
discussed this
377
00:14:53,037 --> 00:14:55,670
when I was so close
to orgasming.
378
00:14:55,872 --> 00:14:57,305
If you love me, prove it.
379
00:14:57,307 --> 00:14:58,706
I'll do anything for you.
380
00:14:58,708 --> 00:15:00,675
I want a bedroom.
381
00:15:00,677 --> 00:15:01,943
Upstairs.
382
00:15:01,945 --> 00:15:04,045
I'll see what I can do,
383
00:15:04,047 --> 00:15:06,014
but you must be patient.
384
00:15:08,117 --> 00:15:09,316
[blows air]
385
00:15:09,318 --> 00:15:12,253
[gasps]
386
00:15:13,355 --> 00:15:14,656
[groans]
387
00:15:14,658 --> 00:15:16,357
Look at that!
388
00:15:16,359 --> 00:15:17,158
Oh!
389
00:15:17,160 --> 00:15:19,460
Oh! Oh! Oh!
390
00:15:19,462 --> 00:15:20,361
Oh!
391
00:15:20,363 --> 00:15:23,864
The volume is...
unbelievable.
392
00:15:23,866 --> 00:15:26,333
[groaning]
393
00:15:26,335 --> 00:15:28,802
[sighs]
394
00:15:28,804 --> 00:15:29,870
(Commodore)
Oh!
395
00:15:29,872 --> 00:15:31,705
A second!
This is rare.
396
00:15:38,846 --> 00:15:42,615
- No votes for women!
- No, votes for women!
397
00:15:42,617 --> 00:15:46,086
- No votes for women!
- No, votes for women!
398
00:15:46,088 --> 00:15:47,387
No votes for women!
399
00:15:47,389 --> 00:15:49,422
You cream-sucking bitches
400
00:15:49,424 --> 00:15:51,825
need to get off the stage.
401
00:15:51,827 --> 00:15:54,227
[shouting]
402
00:15:54,229 --> 00:15:57,830
[women screaming]
403
00:15:57,832 --> 00:15:59,165
[glass shatters]
404
00:16:00,867 --> 00:16:03,936
[dramatic music]
405
00:16:03,938 --> 00:16:10,442
406
00:16:10,444 --> 00:16:11,577
[glass shatters]
407
00:16:11,579 --> 00:16:13,278
[screaming]
408
00:16:15,182 --> 00:16:17,016
- No!
- Let me do it!
409
00:16:18,885 --> 00:16:19,885
[groaning]
410
00:16:19,887 --> 00:16:21,120
Aah!
411
00:16:23,023 --> 00:16:25,624
Stop!
Stop it!
412
00:16:25,626 --> 00:16:27,326
Stop fighting!
413
00:16:27,328 --> 00:16:30,562
You have all
contracted hysteria.
414
00:16:32,164 --> 00:16:33,498
[squish]
Aah!
415
00:16:33,500 --> 00:16:35,234
Oh!
416
00:16:35,236 --> 00:16:36,702
Oh, I don't really care
if women get to vote.
417
00:16:36,704 --> 00:16:38,470
I'm rich;
laws don't affect me.
418
00:16:38,472 --> 00:16:40,839
Plus, I just felt like
ruining Hortense's day.
419
00:16:40,841 --> 00:16:42,441
(Beatrice)
I care.
420
00:16:42,443 --> 00:16:45,243
Women shouldn't get to vote
for another million years.
421
00:16:45,245 --> 00:16:46,577
How did I get hysteria?
422
00:16:46,579 --> 00:16:48,479
Am I gonna go to heaven
like Uncle Buster?
423
00:16:48,481 --> 00:16:49,580
No.
424
00:16:49,582 --> 00:16:52,016
But it is believed
that female sex moisture
425
00:16:52,018 --> 00:16:55,920
turns venomous if not released
through regular climax.
426
00:16:55,922 --> 00:16:57,889
What?
Oh, no.
427
00:16:57,891 --> 00:16:59,724
I haven't climaxed
428
00:16:59,726 --> 00:17:03,060
since horseback riding lessons
when I was a girl.
429
00:17:03,062 --> 00:17:04,629
No one worry.
430
00:17:04,631 --> 00:17:07,164
Pater Freud is here.
431
00:17:07,166 --> 00:17:09,233
Now, Blanche, please,
432
00:17:09,235 --> 00:17:11,302
stimulate Beatrice
with a feather,
433
00:17:11,304 --> 00:17:15,005
lightly at first.
434
00:17:15,007 --> 00:17:16,473
Um...
435
00:17:19,244 --> 00:17:21,245
Oh, fuck, fuck, fuck!
436
00:17:21,247 --> 00:17:24,581
Yeah, yeah, uh-huh,
uh-huh, shit!
437
00:17:24,583 --> 00:17:27,484
[Beatrice moaning]
438
00:17:27,486 --> 00:17:29,419
Ah!
439
00:17:29,421 --> 00:17:30,620
Hmm.
440
00:17:30,622 --> 00:17:31,721
[Beatrice sighs]
441
00:17:31,723 --> 00:17:34,257
Did you already orgasm?
442
00:17:34,259 --> 00:17:35,958
Is that where I get
the quiver-shakes,
443
00:17:35,960 --> 00:17:37,960
and I'm transported to a ghost
purgatory on a beam of light
444
00:17:37,962 --> 00:17:39,228
and then I ask for forgiveness?
445
00:17:39,230 --> 00:17:41,564
I've never seen this before.
446
00:17:41,566 --> 00:17:42,766
Blanche, continue.
447
00:17:42,768 --> 00:17:45,368
Let's see if Beatrice
has multi-orgasms.
448
00:17:45,370 --> 00:17:46,603
Ah!
449
00:17:46,605 --> 00:17:47,604
Yeah.
450
00:17:47,606 --> 00:17:50,506
[moaning, screaming]
451
00:17:51,909 --> 00:17:53,042
Mm.
452
00:17:53,044 --> 00:17:57,113
Well, I'd say you're cured.
453
00:17:57,115 --> 00:17:59,381
I will treat this patient
myself.
454
00:18:02,786 --> 00:18:06,288
[device buzzing]
455
00:18:06,290 --> 00:18:07,589
[grunts]
456
00:18:07,591 --> 00:18:09,325
Now, pelvic contractions
457
00:18:09,327 --> 00:18:12,160
will release pent-up
uterine energies
458
00:18:12,162 --> 00:18:13,962
which have been
affecting your moods.
459
00:18:13,964 --> 00:18:15,230
If you want to improve my mood,
460
00:18:15,232 --> 00:18:16,998
you're gonna need to use
another finger.
461
00:18:17,000 --> 00:18:20,536
Now, Dodo, in some elderly
specimens such as yourself,
462
00:18:20,538 --> 00:18:24,539
a more strident course
of stimulation is required.
463
00:18:24,541 --> 00:18:26,674
Servant, begin.
464
00:18:30,112 --> 00:18:33,248
[bike whirring]
465
00:18:37,987 --> 00:18:39,987
Faster, Garfield, faster!
466
00:18:39,989 --> 00:18:42,089
Faster, faster!
467
00:18:42,091 --> 00:18:46,260
[women moaning]
468
00:18:49,430 --> 00:18:52,932
Remember when I was going to
make all those laws you wanted?
469
00:18:52,934 --> 00:18:54,200
- I can't.
- Oh, no.
470
00:18:54,202 --> 00:18:56,002
Did you get fired
from the senate
471
00:18:56,004 --> 00:18:57,203
for having excitement pee?
472
00:18:57,205 --> 00:18:59,538
No, I--
473
00:18:59,540 --> 00:19:01,540
I have homosexual disease.
474
00:19:01,542 --> 00:19:02,809
Oh, no.
475
00:19:02,811 --> 00:19:04,778
Dr. Floyd is on his way,
476
00:19:04,780 --> 00:19:06,946
and I'm going to tell him
that the treatment's failed.
477
00:19:06,948 --> 00:19:09,214
Is there anything
I can do to help?
478
00:19:09,216 --> 00:19:11,584
I don't think so.
479
00:19:11,586 --> 00:19:14,019
I have to start having
sexual relations with men.
480
00:19:14,021 --> 00:19:15,688
It's doctor's orders.
481
00:19:15,690 --> 00:19:17,022
This is all my fault.
482
00:19:17,024 --> 00:19:18,557
Why is it your fault?
483
00:19:18,559 --> 00:19:19,692
I don't know.
484
00:19:19,694 --> 00:19:21,160
I just like to make
everything about myself.
485
00:19:21,162 --> 00:19:23,929
That's why I love you.
486
00:19:23,931 --> 00:19:25,463
So confusing.
487
00:19:25,465 --> 00:19:26,331
Yeah.
488
00:19:26,333 --> 00:19:28,366
I'm a confirmed homosexual,
489
00:19:28,368 --> 00:19:30,468
and yet everything in my body
490
00:19:30,470 --> 00:19:32,104
is telling me to pull
off your robe
491
00:19:32,106 --> 00:19:34,973
and slide myself
into your pubic mound.
492
00:19:34,975 --> 00:19:37,542
And yet you can't.
493
00:19:37,544 --> 00:19:39,244
And yet it feels so right.
494
00:19:39,246 --> 00:19:41,680
Why must I be a homosexual?
495
00:19:41,682 --> 00:19:43,181
Why?!
496
00:19:43,183 --> 00:19:44,516
Ugh!
497
00:19:48,321 --> 00:19:50,422
(Dr. Freud)
What is going on in here?
498
00:19:50,424 --> 00:19:51,623
Nothing!
499
00:19:51,825 --> 00:19:53,725
Frederick, look at you.
500
00:19:53,727 --> 00:19:54,993
You are cured.
501
00:19:54,995 --> 00:19:59,096
The Masculinity training
must have done the trick.
502
00:19:59,098 --> 00:20:02,566
I officially declare you
a non-homosexual.
503
00:20:02,568 --> 00:20:05,403
Oh, Frederick,
I'm so proud of you.
504
00:20:05,405 --> 00:20:06,703
You're not concerned at all
with the fact
505
00:20:06,705 --> 00:20:08,172
that I'm having sex
with my sister?
506
00:20:08,174 --> 00:20:10,207
Seems perfectly natural to me.
507
00:20:10,209 --> 00:20:11,708
Carry on.
508
00:20:18,482 --> 00:20:20,383
There comes a time
in every man's life
509
00:20:20,385 --> 00:20:22,218
when he must choose
between doing
510
00:20:22,220 --> 00:20:23,754
what his mother wants him to do
511
00:20:23,756 --> 00:20:26,690
and what his sister
wants him to do.
512
00:20:26,692 --> 00:20:29,292
And I've realized
that my country needs me
513
00:20:29,294 --> 00:20:31,827
in Washington, BC.
514
00:20:31,829 --> 00:20:33,596
Yes, let's go.
515
00:20:56,969 --> 00:20:59,800
Sync and corrections by n17t01
www.addic7ed.com
516
00:20:59,850 --> 00:21:04,400
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