Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:03,207 --> 00:00:05,418
We were scared, we were nervous,
2
00:00:05,419 --> 00:00:07,130
we were sweating.
3
00:00:07,131 --> 00:00:09,260
But despite the freshman fear,
4
00:00:09,261 --> 00:00:11,222
we came back the next day.
5
00:00:11,223 --> 00:00:15,063
And the next day, and
718 more after that.
6
00:00:15,064 --> 00:00:19,446
And now we are down to
one last night together,
7
00:00:19,447 --> 00:00:23,831
and it was a pleasure knowing
each and every one of you.
8
00:00:23,832 --> 00:00:25,125
GUY: Who are you?
9
00:00:25,126 --> 00:00:26,377
[CHUCKLES]
10
00:00:26,378 --> 00:00:28,464
So before we move that tassel
11
00:00:28,465 --> 00:00:30,176
across our caps
12
00:00:30,177 --> 00:00:33,684
and officially move on
to our next adventure,
13
00:00:33,685 --> 00:00:37,441
I just have one last word
to say about tonight
14
00:00:37,442 --> 00:00:40,615
for the class of 2018.
15
00:00:40,616 --> 00:00:43,119
Party!
16
00:00:43,120 --> 00:00:45,625
[SILENCE]
17
00:00:45,626 --> 00:00:49,382
[WEAK APPLAUSE]
18
00:00:51,386 --> 00:00:52,805
Thank you.
19
00:00:52,806 --> 00:00:54,475
GIRL: Bye...
20
00:00:54,476 --> 00:00:56,646
Bye. Bye!
21
00:00:56,647 --> 00:00:58,066
Have a great summer.
22
00:00:58,067 --> 00:00:59,527
I think that Melinda girl
23
00:00:59,528 --> 00:01:01,113
is totally gonna blossom in college.
24
00:01:01,114 --> 00:01:02,742
Hey, can we take these gowns off?
25
00:01:02,743 --> 00:01:04,537
You can. I can't.
26
00:01:04,538 --> 00:01:07,502
'Cause I'm not wearing
anything underneath.
27
00:01:07,503 --> 00:01:11,593
Wow, Roni. These gowns are rented!
28
00:01:11,594 --> 00:01:14,306
GIRL: Okay, you guys. Get together.
29
00:01:14,307 --> 00:01:15,935
[UPBEAT MUSIC]
30
00:01:15,936 --> 00:01:18,147
[SIGHS] Dude.
31
00:01:18,148 --> 00:01:20,986
This is the last time all of us
will ever be together again.
32
00:01:20,987 --> 00:01:23,701
Why? 'Cause you're already
planning on skipping reunions?
33
00:01:23,702 --> 00:01:26,122
No. 'Cause at least one
of us is gonna die.
34
00:01:26,123 --> 00:01:28,376
Ladies and gentlemen, this has been
35
00:01:28,377 --> 00:01:31,257
Cheerful Grad Thoughts
with Fig Figueroa.
36
00:01:31,258 --> 00:01:34,096
Reunions. I never thought about that.
37
00:01:34,097 --> 00:01:36,560
Oh! Okay, 20-year reunion,
38
00:01:36,561 --> 00:01:39,566
if we're both still single,
we just call it a life,
39
00:01:39,567 --> 00:01:42,404
get married, and open up a
taxidermy shop in Reseda.
40
00:01:42,405 --> 00:01:43,824
Deal.
41
00:01:43,825 --> 00:01:45,160
Totally in.
42
00:01:45,161 --> 00:01:46,663
Fig, Deanna, smile
43
00:01:46,664 --> 00:01:48,750
or I'll do it for you in Facetune.
44
00:01:48,751 --> 00:01:51,005
[SHUTTER LENS CLICKING]
45
00:01:51,006 --> 00:01:53,719
MAN: ? 'Cause I don't love ya anymore ?
46
00:01:53,720 --> 00:01:57,602
? ?
47
00:01:57,603 --> 00:01:59,229
Okay, Mom, I know you're proud of us,
48
00:01:59,230 --> 00:02:01,694
- but my teeth are hurting.
- WOMAN: Okay, okay.
49
00:02:03,615 --> 00:02:10,794
? ?
50
00:02:10,795 --> 00:02:12,339
RONI: I feel bad for that girl.
51
00:02:12,340 --> 00:02:15,053
Always alone. Beautiful, but alone.
52
00:02:15,054 --> 00:02:18,184
- Like a painting.
- Yeah, poor Stefania,
53
00:02:18,185 --> 00:02:20,355
having to go clubbing
downtown every weekend.
54
00:02:20,356 --> 00:02:22,150
It must be such a drag for her.
55
00:02:22,151 --> 00:02:24,279
? ?
56
00:02:24,280 --> 00:02:25,825
SAPERSTEIN: Did that scholarship letter
57
00:02:25,826 --> 00:02:27,160
that I wrote you end up helping you out?
58
00:02:27,161 --> 00:02:28,705
Yes, thank you. I got a partial.
59
00:02:28,706 --> 00:02:30,501
Will that be enough?
60
00:02:30,502 --> 00:02:32,087
Yeah. [LENS SHUTTER CLICKS]
61
00:02:32,088 --> 00:02:33,799
For my meal plan. [CLICK]
62
00:02:33,800 --> 00:02:35,426
For my first semester. [CLICK]
63
00:02:35,427 --> 00:02:37,097
If I don't eat breakfast. [CLICK]
64
00:02:37,098 --> 00:02:39,769
? ?
65
00:02:39,770 --> 00:02:41,438
A 45 minute ceremony,
66
00:02:41,439 --> 00:02:43,819
and it takes people four hours to leave.
67
00:02:43,820 --> 00:02:45,739
That's how you know we're
depressed it's over.
68
00:02:45,740 --> 00:02:48,871
It's not over. You two are
gonna talk within an hour.
69
00:02:48,872 --> 00:02:50,583
Probably every day for
the rest of your lives.
70
00:02:50,584 --> 00:02:52,294
I'm gonna Facetime you
an obnoxious amount.
71
00:02:52,295 --> 00:02:54,381
Yeah, besides, we have a 12 hour party
72
00:02:54,382 --> 00:02:56,302
to look forward to...
73
00:02:56,303 --> 00:02:59,182
locked up together with no
phones, no distractions.
74
00:02:59,183 --> 00:03:01,228
- It's like Juvie but lamer.
- FIG: No.
75
00:03:01,229 --> 00:03:04,944
No, I think tonight's
gonna be quite the show.
76
00:03:04,945 --> 00:03:07,992
Think about it. For
every person out there,
77
00:03:07,993 --> 00:03:10,204
tonight's their last
chance to do something.
78
00:03:10,205 --> 00:03:12,668
Their last night to run this place,
79
00:03:12,669 --> 00:03:14,756
their last night to find love,
80
00:03:14,757 --> 00:03:16,801
last night to get revenge,
81
00:03:16,802 --> 00:03:18,639
cement their friendships,
82
00:03:18,640 --> 00:03:21,018
to connect.
83
00:03:21,019 --> 00:03:24,274
This grad party's gonna be...
84
00:03:24,275 --> 00:03:25,986
everything.
85
00:03:25,987 --> 00:03:29,076
Also, there's Jell-O wrestling.
86
00:03:29,077 --> 00:03:32,040
[JET TRASH'S "VIRGIN"]
87
00:03:32,041 --> 00:03:39,055
? ?
88
00:03:42,436 --> 00:03:44,774
MAN: ? I don't care about
the clothes you wear ?
89
00:03:44,775 --> 00:03:47,362
? No fancy denim, no fancy hair ?
90
00:03:47,363 --> 00:03:50,828
? Give me x-ray vision,
a first-rate car ?
91
00:03:50,829 --> 00:03:52,832
? Don't care about nothin' at all ?
92
00:03:52,833 --> 00:03:55,211
? I don't know ?
93
00:03:55,212 --> 00:03:57,215
? I don't know ?
94
00:03:57,216 --> 00:03:59,344
? Honey, I don't know ?
95
00:03:59,369 --> 00:04:01,603
? ?
96
00:04:01,997 --> 00:04:04,626
Synced & corrected by reggielist
www.addic7ed.com
97
00:04:07,529 --> 00:04:09,532
RONI: Wow, Oz...
98
00:04:09,533 --> 00:04:12,246
I really outdid myself. Ha.
99
00:04:14,960 --> 00:04:16,880
[SEXY MUSIC]
100
00:04:16,881 --> 00:04:18,257
Happy graduation.
101
00:04:18,258 --> 00:04:20,597
Wow, you look...
102
00:04:22,016 --> 00:04:24,645
adorable.
103
00:04:24,646 --> 00:04:26,816
So...
104
00:04:26,817 --> 00:04:28,528
come adore me.
105
00:04:28,529 --> 00:04:30,657
Are these fake candles?
106
00:04:30,658 --> 00:04:32,202
I don't wanna be in
the throes of passion
107
00:04:32,203 --> 00:04:34,247
and have my hair catch fire.
108
00:04:34,248 --> 00:04:37,045
Come on. We just graduated.
109
00:04:37,046 --> 00:04:38,924
We're starting our future together.
110
00:04:38,925 --> 00:04:41,178
My parents are off at my
sister's rap recital.
111
00:04:41,179 --> 00:04:43,892
- Right.
- I say we celebrate.
112
00:04:43,893 --> 00:04:48,694
? ?
113
00:04:52,243 --> 00:04:53,662
I love you.
114
00:04:53,663 --> 00:04:57,418
I love you too. [CHUCKLES]
115
00:04:57,419 --> 00:04:59,841
? ?
116
00:04:59,842 --> 00:05:01,719
Is everything okay?
117
00:05:01,720 --> 00:05:03,222
Um,
118
00:05:03,223 --> 00:05:04,767
it's, it's just, um,
119
00:05:04,768 --> 00:05:07,898
it's just kinda weird doing it here.
120
00:05:07,899 --> 00:05:11,238
It's sort of weird to
have sex in my bedroom?
121
00:05:11,239 --> 00:05:12,992
Your childhood bedroom.
122
00:05:12,993 --> 00:05:15,581
There's stuff animals watching us.
123
00:05:15,582 --> 00:05:17,877
I can get rid of them,
I'll throw them away.
124
00:05:17,878 --> 00:05:19,589
Yeah, it's already in my head.
125
00:05:19,590 --> 00:05:22,010
You've been in my room
like a thousand times.
126
00:05:22,011 --> 00:05:24,014
I never thought about it until now.
127
00:05:24,015 --> 00:05:26,226
Then let me distract you.
128
00:05:26,227 --> 00:05:28,607
No more thinking.
129
00:05:28,608 --> 00:05:30,484
[SHRILL ALARM]
130
00:05:30,485 --> 00:05:32,907
Oh!
131
00:05:32,908 --> 00:05:35,036
These stupid Amber alerts all the time!
132
00:05:35,037 --> 00:05:36,748
We're nowhere near Fresno!
133
00:05:36,749 --> 00:05:39,837
Amber alert. See, now
I'm really in my head.
134
00:05:39,838 --> 00:05:41,633
[SMALL LAUGH]
135
00:05:41,634 --> 00:05:43,762
Hey, don't, don't worry
about it, you know?
136
00:05:43,763 --> 00:05:45,682
We're gonna have our
whole life together.
137
00:05:45,683 --> 00:05:48,063
Yeah. Totally.
138
00:05:48,731 --> 00:05:50,191
What the eff? The rummy bears
139
00:05:50,192 --> 00:05:51,945
are supposed to be for the party.
140
00:05:51,946 --> 00:05:54,199
- We decided to opt out.
- Opt out of the last time
141
00:05:54,200 --> 00:05:56,411
we're all going to be together?
142
00:05:56,412 --> 00:05:59,209
No, no, no, no. This could
be the night of our lives.
143
00:05:59,210 --> 00:06:00,461
What could be different about tonight?
144
00:06:00,462 --> 00:06:02,006
Well, for one thing,
145
00:06:02,007 --> 00:06:03,718
they're legally obligated to let us in.
146
00:06:03,719 --> 00:06:05,555
Yeah, and tonight we leave our mark.
147
00:06:05,556 --> 00:06:07,225
Starting tomorrow, everyone
goes their separate ways.
148
00:06:07,226 --> 00:06:08,895
Do you really want
everybody remembering us
149
00:06:08,896 --> 00:06:10,189
as the nerds who spent all their time
150
00:06:10,190 --> 00:06:11,901
in Stymie's finished basement?
151
00:06:11,902 --> 00:06:13,863
I'm not gonna pretend
that doesn't sting.
152
00:06:13,864 --> 00:06:15,534
No one's gonna have their phones.
153
00:06:15,535 --> 00:06:17,370
No photos. We'll just
tell them we were there.
154
00:06:17,371 --> 00:06:19,750
I'll know. And I'll miss you guys.
155
00:06:19,751 --> 00:06:21,169
Tonight I'm building my legacy,
156
00:06:21,170 --> 00:06:22,715
and I want you there with me.
157
00:06:22,716 --> 00:06:24,552
Tonight we're not just gonna be the guys
158
00:06:24,553 --> 00:06:26,848
who sit at the table at the
back of the cafeteria!
159
00:06:26,849 --> 00:06:29,019
I wanna hang out with people
I never even talked to,
160
00:06:29,020 --> 00:06:31,398
because otherwise, I might not get to.
161
00:06:31,399 --> 00:06:33,945
And I'm not gonna be scared
to ask a girl to dance,
162
00:06:33,946 --> 00:06:36,325
because you know what?
She might say yes.
163
00:06:36,326 --> 00:06:39,623
Tonight, we get to really show
people how awesome we are.
164
00:06:39,624 --> 00:06:41,961
Grad night is gonna
be something special.
165
00:06:41,962 --> 00:06:43,882
Bryce knows it, I know it,
166
00:06:43,883 --> 00:06:46,219
and deep down, I know you know it too.
167
00:06:46,220 --> 00:06:47,890
[GASPS] Pass.
168
00:06:47,891 --> 00:06:49,810
- Come on, man!
- All right, fine.
169
00:06:49,811 --> 00:06:53,526
Stay here, and never unmask
the woman of your dreams...
170
00:06:53,527 --> 00:06:58,703
Cosplay_queen_7.
171
00:06:58,704 --> 00:07:01,458
Oh. You're obsessed with her Tumbler.
172
00:07:01,459 --> 00:07:03,087
Tonight is your last night
173
00:07:03,088 --> 00:07:04,965
to find out who she is.
174
00:07:04,966 --> 00:07:07,220
[LIGHT MUSIC]
175
00:07:07,221 --> 00:07:08,431
Jonas...
176
00:07:10,978 --> 00:07:13,190
Our destiny awaits.
177
00:07:13,191 --> 00:07:15,320
[LAUGHTER]
178
00:07:16,322 --> 00:07:18,576
Whoo! [LAUGHING]
179
00:07:18,577 --> 00:07:20,037
CASSIE: Tequila-filled water bras...
180
00:07:20,038 --> 00:07:21,958
definitely one of your better ideas.
181
00:07:21,959 --> 00:07:24,672
Is it OCD that I think I need
matching tequila panties?
182
00:07:24,673 --> 00:07:26,634
Didn't you end up with
those on your birthday?
183
00:07:26,635 --> 00:07:28,053
'Cause you drunk peed yourself?
184
00:07:28,054 --> 00:07:29,974
I got it.
185
00:07:29,975 --> 00:07:32,103
Are you sure you can't come
to my graduation dinner
186
00:07:32,104 --> 00:07:34,775
and talk me up? Christian
won the biology prize
187
00:07:34,776 --> 00:07:37,614
the Spanish prize, and the
Student Leadership prize.
188
00:07:37,615 --> 00:07:39,367
My mom told me my graduation gown
189
00:07:39,368 --> 00:07:41,454
was less unflattering than expected.
190
00:07:41,455 --> 00:07:43,501
I'm sorry, I can't.
191
00:07:43,502 --> 00:07:45,379
Thanks to my parents' lawyers,
192
00:07:45,380 --> 00:07:47,926
I have to have dinner with
each of them separately.
193
00:07:47,927 --> 00:07:49,972
And then I'm meeting Fig at the diner.
194
00:07:49,973 --> 00:07:51,851
Perfect place to hang out with a friend
195
00:07:51,852 --> 00:07:53,813
you're secretly in love with.
196
00:07:53,814 --> 00:07:56,193
Or a friend you're very close with,
197
00:07:56,194 --> 00:07:58,071
and that's a beautiful thing as-is?
198
00:07:58,072 --> 00:07:59,909
Beautiful and painful.
199
00:07:59,910 --> 00:08:01,494
Come on, make a move already!
200
00:08:01,495 --> 00:08:03,833
Time to take a chance. It's too risky.
201
00:08:03,834 --> 00:08:05,545
Remember when you told Amanda Daniels
202
00:08:05,546 --> 00:08:07,173
you wanted to hold her soul?
203
00:08:07,174 --> 00:08:09,511
I still can't walk past
that Sunglass Hut.
204
00:08:09,512 --> 00:08:12,726
Exactly. Fig is way too important to me.
205
00:08:12,727 --> 00:08:15,815
I can't have him be my Sunglass Hut.
206
00:08:15,816 --> 00:08:18,070
You're thinking about
Amanda Daniels, aren't you?
207
00:08:18,071 --> 00:08:20,032
Her eyes were like the sun.
208
00:08:20,033 --> 00:08:21,827
[BOTH GIGGLING]
209
00:08:21,828 --> 00:08:24,207
SAPERSTEIN: 12 hours.
Sounds like nothing,
210
00:08:24,208 --> 00:08:26,086
but when you've got 300 students
211
00:08:26,087 --> 00:08:28,675
hopped up on nothing but
off-brand soda and feelings,
212
00:08:28,676 --> 00:08:30,261
it's an eternity.
213
00:08:30,262 --> 00:08:32,223
Is all of... this [ELECTRONIC SQUEAL]
214
00:08:32,224 --> 00:08:33,893
really necessary? I mean...
215
00:08:33,894 --> 00:08:36,607
I thought we couldn't
afford football helmets.
216
00:08:36,608 --> 00:08:38,151
- Mr. Lewis.
- Yeah.
217
00:08:38,152 --> 00:08:39,738
I've been doing this for 15 years.
218
00:08:39,739 --> 00:08:42,953
The entire point of
the all-night lock-in
219
00:08:42,954 --> 00:08:45,332
is to provide a safe
environment with no drinking.
220
00:08:45,333 --> 00:08:47,461
[SQUEAL] This year,
221
00:08:47,462 --> 00:08:49,299
no one is sneaking in alcohol.
222
00:08:49,300 --> 00:08:51,177
- Hi, Melinda.
- Hi.
223
00:08:51,178 --> 00:08:53,181
- New yearbooks?
- Yes, ma'am.
224
00:08:53,182 --> 00:08:55,896
Practically overflowing with memories.
225
00:08:59,529 --> 00:09:01,197
I just ate two steaks,
226
00:09:01,198 --> 00:09:02,826
two kale salads,
227
00:09:02,827 --> 00:09:05,832
a double chocolate cake,
and a baked Alaska.
228
00:09:05,833 --> 00:09:08,003
I've never been more full in
my entire life right now.
229
00:09:08,004 --> 00:09:09,923
Good. I ordered us mozzarella sticks
230
00:09:09,924 --> 00:09:12,303
and nacho fries.
Guess I'm not that full.
231
00:09:12,304 --> 00:09:13,640
- [LAUGHS]
- I'll eat it.
232
00:09:13,641 --> 00:09:15,267
Hey.
233
00:09:15,268 --> 00:09:16,562
Thanks for playing interference earlier.
234
00:09:16,563 --> 00:09:18,398
I saw you swoop in so my dad
235
00:09:18,399 --> 00:09:20,361
- wouldn't see Harry was there.
- It's no problem, okay?
236
00:09:20,362 --> 00:09:22,198
Your mom's boyfriend and I are bros.
237
00:09:22,199 --> 00:09:24,410
We're going waterskiing together.
238
00:09:24,411 --> 00:09:27,083
Careful. That's literally
how he got my mom.
239
00:09:27,084 --> 00:09:28,753
Like, that was the date they went on.
240
00:09:28,754 --> 00:09:30,422
Speaking of aquatics...
241
00:09:30,423 --> 00:09:32,009
check this out.
242
00:09:32,010 --> 00:09:34,138
Yes. How much does that thing hold?
243
00:09:34,139 --> 00:09:36,351
Definitely not enough
for the entire night,
244
00:09:36,352 --> 00:09:40,860
but I think we've got a
few hours per... cup.
245
00:09:40,861 --> 00:09:43,323
Are you gonna put it on?
246
00:09:43,324 --> 00:09:44,827
Right here?
247
00:09:44,828 --> 00:09:46,079
- Right now?
- Yeah.
248
00:09:46,080 --> 00:09:47,582
Why not?
249
00:09:47,583 --> 00:09:50,087
I will. Right now.
250
00:09:50,088 --> 00:09:52,007
Why didn't you sign up
to play Grad Night?
251
00:09:52,008 --> 00:09:53,970
I don't think the Vista
View Rec Center's
252
00:09:53,971 --> 00:09:55,515
the place for my music.
253
00:09:55,516 --> 00:09:57,686
The flyer said "frothy."
254
00:09:57,687 --> 00:09:59,732
It's really best to leave the frothiness
255
00:09:59,733 --> 00:10:01,902
for people like Roni Sweetzer.
256
00:10:01,903 --> 00:10:03,656
Oh, I'm sorry.
257
00:10:03,657 --> 00:10:05,702
I forgot I was speaking to the president
258
00:10:05,703 --> 00:10:07,246
of the Roni fan club.
259
00:10:07,247 --> 00:10:09,459
I respect her.
260
00:10:09,460 --> 00:10:11,212
- As an artist.
- See, I don't get that.
261
00:10:11,213 --> 00:10:13,760
She's a hot girl who plays
Chainsmokers covers
262
00:10:13,761 --> 00:10:15,220
on a ukulele.
263
00:10:15,221 --> 00:10:16,807
Not exactly Van Gogh.
264
00:10:16,808 --> 00:10:19,772
I dunno. I think they're pretty good.
265
00:10:19,773 --> 00:10:21,776
Ta-da! How do they look?
266
00:10:21,777 --> 00:10:25,282
Wow! [LAUGHING] You are literally
267
00:10:25,283 --> 00:10:27,036
the most talented person alive.
268
00:10:27,037 --> 00:10:28,707
I know.
269
00:10:33,717 --> 00:10:35,595
SAPERSTEIN: People,
have your phones out.
270
00:10:35,596 --> 00:10:37,181
You'll get them back in the morning.
271
00:10:37,182 --> 00:10:39,686
Once you are in, you
are in for the night.
272
00:10:39,687 --> 00:10:41,982
[ELECTRONIC WHINE] All alcohol, drug,
273
00:10:41,983 --> 00:10:45,322
and drug-related paraphernalia
must be discarded,
274
00:10:45,323 --> 00:10:48,078
or I will do it for you.
275
00:10:48,079 --> 00:10:49,957
Happy Grad Night!
276
00:10:49,958 --> 00:10:51,125
Next.
277
00:10:51,126 --> 00:10:52,838
Just need to tag
278
00:10:52,839 --> 00:10:54,883
- one more person...
- I need your phone.
279
00:10:54,884 --> 00:10:57,681
- Ha ha. Hold on.
- Enjoy your screen-free
280
00:10:57,682 --> 00:10:59,475
quality time with your classmates.
281
00:10:59,476 --> 00:11:02,106
- Next.
- Okay.
282
00:11:02,107 --> 00:11:03,818
Ready to start a legacy?
283
00:11:03,819 --> 00:11:06,322
My legacy is a sweet...
284
00:11:06,323 --> 00:11:08,493
- Enjoy your night.
- Sinister mistress
285
00:11:08,494 --> 00:11:10,707
called revenge. Ever heard of it?
286
00:11:10,708 --> 00:11:13,003
Is this about Coach Lewis
docking your grade?
287
00:11:13,004 --> 00:11:14,882
You still got in at Dartmouth.
Let it go.
288
00:11:14,883 --> 00:11:16,927
I will. Once I cause him
289
00:11:16,928 --> 00:11:18,806
deep and profound
290
00:11:18,807 --> 00:11:20,602
humiliation.
291
00:11:20,603 --> 00:11:23,189
- How are you gonna do that?
- Next.
292
00:11:23,190 --> 00:11:26,321
Aren't you Mr. Lewis' wife?
293
00:11:26,322 --> 00:11:29,036
I'm Bryce. Lovely night for an evening.
294
00:11:29,704 --> 00:11:31,707
Enjoy your screen free quality time
295
00:11:31,708 --> 00:11:33,084
with your classmates.
296
00:11:33,085 --> 00:11:34,588
Thank you, ma'am.
297
00:11:34,589 --> 00:11:37,176
What am I saying? Thank you... miss.
298
00:11:37,177 --> 00:11:39,765
Ha. Next.
299
00:11:39,766 --> 00:11:42,269
[HOT BLOODED ANIMALS' "WOLFGANG BLACK"]
300
00:11:42,270 --> 00:11:44,775
[ELECTRONIC WHINING]
301
00:11:44,776 --> 00:11:47,488
HA. CHORUS: ? Oh oh oh oh ?
302
00:11:47,489 --> 00:11:49,785
- ? You got me fallin'... ?
- Tooth decay never rests.
303
00:11:49,786 --> 00:11:51,872
CHORUS: ? For you ?
304
00:11:51,873 --> 00:11:54,126
? Shake your body close now ?
305
00:11:54,127 --> 00:11:57,341
? Oh oh oh oh, you got me hypnotized ?
306
00:11:57,342 --> 00:12:00,430
? Oh oh oh oh oh oh ?
307
00:12:00,431 --> 00:12:02,351
? ?
308
00:12:02,352 --> 00:12:04,188
Nine tubes of toothpaste?
309
00:12:04,189 --> 00:12:06,359
Hey! Two of those are real.
310
00:12:06,360 --> 00:12:08,321
Gentlemen, you remember the CPR class
311
00:12:08,322 --> 00:12:10,200
I took down here? I snuck
down to the basement
312
00:12:10,201 --> 00:12:13,081
and stashed a few bottles
of the crazy sauce.
313
00:12:13,082 --> 00:12:15,795
- Seriously?
- MELINDA: Bryce!
314
00:12:15,796 --> 00:12:17,717
Wanna buy a yearbook?
315
00:12:18,927 --> 00:12:20,764
[EXHALES]
316
00:12:23,310 --> 00:12:26,315
Melinda. Or should I say...
317
00:12:26,316 --> 00:12:28,111
Ma-Life Ruiner?
318
00:12:28,112 --> 00:12:30,198
It's over. I made the
speech and everything.
319
00:12:30,199 --> 00:12:31,994
It's time to move on.
320
00:12:31,995 --> 00:12:35,417
You were valedictorian by
100th of a decimal point,
321
00:12:35,418 --> 00:12:37,421
a fraction that only exists
322
00:12:37,422 --> 00:12:40,135
because Mr. Lewis docked me half a grade
323
00:12:40,136 --> 00:12:42,097
for forgetting my sneakers.
324
00:12:42,098 --> 00:12:43,768
Twice.
325
00:12:43,769 --> 00:12:47,066
I took college chem!
326
00:12:47,067 --> 00:12:49,696
Cosplay_queen_7.
327
00:12:49,697 --> 00:12:52,702
Internet goddess, you
have eluded us thus far.
328
00:12:52,703 --> 00:12:54,873
Four years of cosplay perfection
329
00:12:54,874 --> 00:12:56,960
and brilliant fan fiction.
330
00:12:56,961 --> 00:12:58,506
Four years wherein you hid your face
331
00:12:58,507 --> 00:13:00,342
behind your carefully crafted masks
332
00:13:00,343 --> 00:13:01,970
and fantastical wigs.
333
00:13:01,971 --> 00:13:03,306
Four years of longing.
334
00:13:03,307 --> 00:13:06,020
And tonight... we will find you.
335
00:13:06,021 --> 00:13:09,485
Exhibit A, posted November 3, 2016.
336
00:13:09,486 --> 00:13:11,447
In addition to the
outstanding craftsmanship
337
00:13:11,448 --> 00:13:13,159
- on her neck piece...
- The boots
338
00:13:13,160 --> 00:13:15,832
- were exceptional, too.
- Cosplay_queen_7
339
00:13:15,833 --> 00:13:18,128
reveals our school
insignia in the background
340
00:13:18,129 --> 00:13:20,298
of her post. Exhibit B.
341
00:13:20,299 --> 00:13:23,471
Cosplay_queen_7 has
mentioned high school
342
00:13:23,472 --> 00:13:25,308
- three times.
- Thrice.
343
00:13:25,309 --> 00:13:27,354
And the dates of these mentions
344
00:13:27,355 --> 00:13:28,858
lead us to believe she's our year.
345
00:13:28,859 --> 00:13:30,570
She'll be here tonight.
346
00:13:30,571 --> 00:13:32,197
So it's on us to find...
347
00:13:32,198 --> 00:13:34,076
the holy grail...
348
00:13:34,077 --> 00:13:37,876
the distinct birthmark on her
upper thigh/lower cheek.
349
00:13:37,877 --> 00:13:39,378
We've gone on a lot of missions,
350
00:13:39,379 --> 00:13:41,717
but this will be our greatest triumph.
351
00:13:41,718 --> 00:13:43,637
Why couldn't the birth
mark be on her shoulder?
352
00:13:43,638 --> 00:13:46,017
Because all great
warriors face obstacles.
353
00:13:46,018 --> 00:13:48,981
And I have devised a plan.
354
00:13:48,982 --> 00:13:51,528
- What?
- Girls will be changing
355
00:13:51,529 --> 00:13:53,949
in the locker room to go in the pool.
356
00:13:53,950 --> 00:13:57,247
I'll crawl and shimmy my
way into my lady's heart.
357
00:13:57,248 --> 00:13:59,084
This is all kinds of creepy.
358
00:13:59,085 --> 00:14:01,548
My future wife is somewhere
in this rec center.
359
00:14:01,549 --> 00:14:03,761
Mine too.
360
00:14:03,762 --> 00:14:06,141
Who's suspect number one?
361
00:14:08,437 --> 00:14:11,652
[UPBEAT MUSIC]
362
00:14:11,653 --> 00:14:14,991
Boys, I think these
oranges have gone bad.
363
00:14:14,992 --> 00:14:16,828
I prefer them that way.
364
00:14:16,829 --> 00:14:20,126
It actually adds more nutrition.
365
00:14:20,127 --> 00:14:22,381
Go in.
366
00:14:22,382 --> 00:14:26,848
? ?
367
00:14:26,849 --> 00:14:28,267
- How much is the cover?
- This is a school-sponsored
368
00:14:28,268 --> 00:14:30,355
event, there isn't a cover.
369
00:14:30,356 --> 00:14:32,652
- So anyone can get in?
- Yes, provided they turn over
370
00:14:32,653 --> 00:14:34,614
their cell phone,
anyone who wants to get
371
00:14:34,615 --> 00:14:36,492
in the party can drink as much
fruit punch as they want.
372
00:14:36,493 --> 00:14:38,246
May I have your phone, please?
373
00:14:38,247 --> 00:14:39,624
Once you're in, you're in for the night.
374
00:14:39,625 --> 00:14:41,670
You get that, right?
375
00:14:41,671 --> 00:14:43,632
Good luck to you.
376
00:14:43,633 --> 00:14:45,678
DEANNA: Fig doesn't even know Roni.
377
00:14:45,679 --> 00:14:48,266
Fine, they carpooled together
when they were, like, ten,
378
00:14:48,267 --> 00:14:50,353
but he only likes her
because she's pretty
379
00:14:50,354 --> 00:14:52,190
and plays a children's instrument.
380
00:14:52,191 --> 00:14:55,740
- [LAUGHS]
- What he and I have is real.
381
00:14:55,741 --> 00:14:59,121
It's a genuine connection built
on trust and friendship.
382
00:14:59,122 --> 00:15:01,125
- What he and I have is...
- Is irrelevant.
383
00:15:01,126 --> 00:15:03,171
'Cause he sees you as his sister.
384
00:15:03,172 --> 00:15:06,762
What you need is for him to
see you as his hot sister.
385
00:15:06,763 --> 00:15:08,557
You know what I mean.
386
00:15:08,558 --> 00:15:10,811
Oh, my God, Cass. There you are.
387
00:15:10,812 --> 00:15:12,648
They have a cartoonist.
We should totally do
388
00:15:12,649 --> 00:15:15,403
like a super funny one
of us as lab partners.
389
00:15:15,404 --> 00:15:17,240
I'm gonna go pee,
390
00:15:17,241 --> 00:15:19,663
and then I'll find ya after.
391
00:15:21,751 --> 00:15:23,670
I do not understand this friendship.
392
00:15:23,671 --> 00:15:26,510
She's fun. Back to you and Fig.
393
00:15:26,511 --> 00:15:28,346
It's the last night of high school.
394
00:15:28,347 --> 00:15:30,893
Your boobs look insane.
Just go for it, already.
395
00:15:30,894 --> 00:15:32,563
First of all, thank you.
396
00:15:32,564 --> 00:15:34,024
Your boobs look great too.
397
00:15:34,025 --> 00:15:35,861
- But...
- You don't wanna lose him
398
00:15:35,862 --> 00:15:37,280
as a friend. Deanna,
399
00:15:37,281 --> 00:15:39,201
you're taking a gap year in Berlin.
400
00:15:39,202 --> 00:15:40,704
Fig's going to college.
401
00:15:40,705 --> 00:15:42,583
Things are gonna change, regardless.
402
00:15:42,584 --> 00:15:44,629
Why not at least see if
you can be something
403
00:15:44,630 --> 00:15:49,012
before you explode with sexual
and emotional frustration?
404
00:15:49,013 --> 00:15:51,893
It's kinda your last shot.
405
00:15:51,894 --> 00:15:54,524
- You're right.
- Wait, seriously?
406
00:15:54,525 --> 00:15:57,989
- Actually.
- Yeah.
407
00:15:57,990 --> 00:16:02,122
Yeah! Me and my boobs are
gonna go tell Fig how I feel.
408
00:16:02,123 --> 00:16:04,085
[SOFTLY] Thank you.
409
00:16:06,089 --> 00:16:08,594
He called you adorable?
410
00:16:08,595 --> 00:16:11,056
What a monster. He was
trying to be sweet.
411
00:16:11,057 --> 00:16:13,854
Of course. Oz is so sweet.
412
00:16:13,855 --> 00:16:15,398
- I just meant...
- She just meant
413
00:16:15,399 --> 00:16:17,360
when was the last time you two smashed?
414
00:16:17,361 --> 00:16:20,033
It's... been a minute.
415
00:16:20,034 --> 00:16:21,828
Five weeks.
416
00:16:21,829 --> 00:16:24,041
We've barely even made out!
417
00:16:24,042 --> 00:16:27,172
I didn't notice at first.
We were both so busy.
418
00:16:27,173 --> 00:16:29,552
Then he started having
all these excuses.
419
00:16:29,553 --> 00:16:32,516
"We should spend our time
after prom with our friends."
420
00:16:32,517 --> 00:16:34,478
"We shouldn't hook up
right after eating."
421
00:16:34,479 --> 00:16:37,067
"We should play one more game of Risk!"
422
00:16:37,068 --> 00:16:39,488
Everything used to be so amazing.
423
00:16:39,489 --> 00:16:41,743
- Did I do something wrong?
- [SIGHS] No!
424
00:16:41,744 --> 00:16:44,832
You're like a Disney princess.
425
00:16:44,833 --> 00:16:46,628
Your hair's fantastic and...
426
00:16:46,629 --> 00:16:48,464
you're braver than Mulan.
427
00:16:48,465 --> 00:16:51,638
Look... you two have been
together for a while now.
428
00:16:51,639 --> 00:16:55,228
Sometimes even with two
very attractive people,
429
00:16:55,229 --> 00:16:57,483
you tend to get into a little dry spell.
430
00:16:58,695 --> 00:17:00,363
I mean, I've heard.
431
00:17:00,364 --> 00:17:02,409
I've never actually
experienced it myself.
432
00:17:02,410 --> 00:17:05,123
This is supposed to be the
beginning of our life together.
433
00:17:05,124 --> 00:17:08,337
But... what if it's the
beginning of us drifting apart?
434
00:17:08,338 --> 00:17:10,466
You and Oz are perfect together.
435
00:17:10,467 --> 00:17:13,472
Just... stop trying to
choreograph everything
436
00:17:13,473 --> 00:17:15,769
with the fake candles and the lingerie.
437
00:17:15,770 --> 00:17:18,107
It's just too much pressure.
438
00:17:18,108 --> 00:17:21,155
Let things happen naturally.
Spontaneously.
439
00:17:21,156 --> 00:17:22,950
And then you'll get
back into your groove.
440
00:17:22,951 --> 00:17:24,954
You're right.
441
00:17:24,955 --> 00:17:27,543
I'm going to end the dry
spell with Oz tonight.
442
00:17:27,544 --> 00:17:30,089
Here. Spontaneously.
443
00:17:30,090 --> 00:17:36,771
? ?
444
00:17:41,947 --> 00:17:44,952
[MAN SINGING]
445
00:17:44,953 --> 00:17:51,966
? ?
446
00:17:51,967 --> 00:17:54,138
Hey, locker buddy.
447
00:17:55,600 --> 00:17:58,354
Your locker's next to mine, right?
448
00:17:58,355 --> 00:18:00,567
No, it definitely is. Hey.
449
00:18:00,568 --> 00:18:03,782
? ?
450
00:18:03,783 --> 00:18:05,828
You know that smell that
was there in March?
451
00:18:05,829 --> 00:18:07,623
That wasn't from my locker.
You know the one
452
00:18:07,624 --> 00:18:09,669
that smelled like manure
but almost kinda saltier?
453
00:18:09,670 --> 00:18:12,800
Not me. Just in case you were
thinking it was, it wasn't.
454
00:18:12,801 --> 00:18:14,887
FYI.
455
00:18:14,888 --> 00:18:16,683
Good to know.
456
00:18:16,684 --> 00:18:18,896
It's nice to see you.
457
00:18:20,525 --> 00:18:22,277
I wouldn't have thought
this was your scene.
458
00:18:22,278 --> 00:18:24,615
You know what'd make it more my scene?
459
00:18:24,616 --> 00:18:26,703
- A drink.
- Yeah?
460
00:18:26,704 --> 00:18:28,582
Well, I can get you a drink or ten.
461
00:18:28,583 --> 00:18:31,378
I've got a stash in the basement.
462
00:18:31,379 --> 00:18:34,259
Seriously? That would be amazing!
463
00:18:34,260 --> 00:18:36,848
The door to the basement's
behind those speakers.
464
00:18:36,849 --> 00:18:39,980
I'll sneak down and get it
as soon as the heat clears.
465
00:18:41,441 --> 00:18:43,612
You're the man, Cory!
466
00:18:43,613 --> 00:18:45,198
It's Cody.
467
00:18:45,199 --> 00:18:48,079
Cody with an O-dy.
468
00:18:54,342 --> 00:18:55,595
Oh.
469
00:18:56,931 --> 00:18:58,934
To the end of an era.
470
00:18:58,935 --> 00:19:00,479
To new beginnings.
471
00:19:03,861 --> 00:19:05,906
Force suspect number one to retreat.
472
00:19:05,907 --> 00:19:09,120
She'll be in the locker room
in T-minus five minutes.
473
00:19:09,121 --> 00:19:10,999
You know what I was
thinking about earlier?
474
00:19:11,000 --> 00:19:13,254
- What?
- That party at Sully's house
475
00:19:13,255 --> 00:19:15,592
- in eighth grade.
- Oh, yeah!
476
00:19:15,593 --> 00:19:17,721
Yeah, the one where you, where you cried
477
00:19:17,722 --> 00:19:20,184
'cause Cassie got her period,
and you hadn't had yours yet?
478
00:19:20,185 --> 00:19:22,105
That was, that was really funny.
479
00:19:22,106 --> 00:19:25,194
No. No, not that party, the other one.
480
00:19:25,195 --> 00:19:27,658
- Where we kissed.
- Oh, yeah.
481
00:19:27,659 --> 00:19:29,871
Man... that was awkward.
482
00:19:29,872 --> 00:19:31,833
Yeah. Maybe a little.
483
00:19:31,834 --> 00:19:35,464
Didn't you... try to lick my eyeball?
484
00:19:35,465 --> 00:19:37,010
I read about it in a magazine.
485
00:19:37,011 --> 00:19:39,724
You were the one who tried to feel me up
486
00:19:39,725 --> 00:19:41,226
before even kissing me.
487
00:19:41,227 --> 00:19:42,813
It was my first time drinking.
488
00:19:42,814 --> 00:19:45,569
Felt like your first time kissing.
489
00:19:45,570 --> 00:19:47,322
You banged your teeth into mine.
490
00:19:47,323 --> 00:19:50,036
You tried to swallow my tonsils.
491
00:19:50,037 --> 00:19:52,625
All right. I am a very skilled kisser.
492
00:19:52,626 --> 00:19:55,923
- Yeah?
- Mm-hmm.
493
00:19:55,924 --> 00:19:58,010
- Prove it.
- [LAUGHS] What?
494
00:19:58,011 --> 00:19:59,429
Wha, seriously?
495
00:19:59,430 --> 00:20:02,268
- Yeah.
- All right.
496
00:20:02,269 --> 00:20:04,189
Okay. I, right.
497
00:20:04,190 --> 00:20:07,780
Just, uh... you asked for it.
498
00:20:07,781 --> 00:20:10,242
Uh...
499
00:20:10,243 --> 00:20:12,288
WOMAN: ? I'm not the type of girl... ?
500
00:20:12,289 --> 00:20:14,877
Wow. This is so hot, I'm all aquiver.
501
00:20:14,878 --> 00:20:16,631
Just close your eyes.
502
00:20:16,632 --> 00:20:18,175
- Okay.
- All right.
503
00:20:18,176 --> 00:20:20,221
WOMAN: ? And give you my love ?
504
00:20:20,222 --> 00:20:21,849
? When you look my way ?
505
00:20:21,850 --> 00:20:24,145
? I sit there and unwind... ?
506
00:20:24,146 --> 00:20:26,651
[GASPS] What the hell?
507
00:20:26,652 --> 00:20:28,445
Oh, no, alas, my beverage!
508
00:20:28,446 --> 00:20:32,037
WOMAN: ? Always in the back of my mind ?
509
00:20:37,590 --> 00:20:39,467
Man... that sucks.
510
00:20:39,468 --> 00:20:42,432
- Yeah. It's totally ruined.
- Yeah.
511
00:20:42,433 --> 00:20:45,146
And you'll continue to live
512
00:20:45,147 --> 00:20:47,108
under the tragic misconception
513
00:20:47,109 --> 00:20:49,780
that I'm a bad kisser.
514
00:20:49,781 --> 00:20:52,578
Anyway, you wanna get some food?
515
00:20:52,579 --> 00:20:54,623
CHORUS: ? I don't wanna
know your name... ?
516
00:20:54,624 --> 00:20:56,878
I have to deal with this.
517
00:20:56,879 --> 00:20:59,675
Oh. Here.
518
00:20:59,676 --> 00:21:01,386
Take my shirt.
519
00:21:01,387 --> 00:21:04,142
And, dude, guard that with your life,
520
00:21:04,143 --> 00:21:05,604
or I swear I'll never talk to you again.
521
00:21:05,605 --> 00:21:07,733
Obviously.
522
00:21:07,734 --> 00:21:10,321
Obviously. I'm gonna go change.
523
00:21:10,322 --> 00:21:11,783
All right.
524
00:21:11,784 --> 00:21:15,331
? ?
525
00:21:15,332 --> 00:21:17,669
Cosplay_queen_7 suspect number one
526
00:21:17,670 --> 00:21:19,130
has been doused.
527
00:21:19,131 --> 00:21:21,384
She's headed for Themyscira.
528
00:21:21,385 --> 00:21:23,472
- What is Themyscira again?
- JONAS: Where Wonder Woman
529
00:21:23,473 --> 00:21:25,434
was born, the land of only women!
530
00:21:25,435 --> 00:21:28,942
Ah ha, got it. We're so clever.
531
00:21:28,943 --> 00:21:32,031
CHORUS: ? I don't wanna know your name ?
532
00:21:32,032 --> 00:21:35,246
? I don't wanna know your name ?
533
00:21:35,247 --> 00:21:38,210
? I don't wanna know your name ?
534
00:21:38,211 --> 00:21:41,383
? I don't wanna know your name ?
535
00:21:41,384 --> 00:21:44,430
? Technicolored eyes ?
536
00:21:44,431 --> 00:21:47,771
? That are not the same... ?
537
00:21:47,772 --> 00:21:50,777
[MUSIC CONTINUES, MUFFLED]
538
00:21:50,778 --> 00:21:54,033
? ?
539
00:21:54,034 --> 00:21:57,123
? I don't wanna know your name ?
540
00:21:57,124 --> 00:21:59,753
? I don't wanna know your name ?
541
00:21:59,754 --> 00:22:00,756
? I don't wanna... ?
542
00:22:02,635 --> 00:22:04,429
[DOOR THUDS CLOSED]
543
00:22:04,430 --> 00:22:06,183
Oh, shit.
544
00:22:06,184 --> 00:22:07,769
Oh, shit!
545
00:22:07,770 --> 00:22:09,231
[BOTTLES CLINK]
546
00:22:10,776 --> 00:22:12,153
Hey.
547
00:22:12,154 --> 00:22:14,240
- What's up?
- You look like
548
00:22:14,241 --> 00:22:16,203
you could use a good, stiff yearbook.
549
00:22:16,204 --> 00:22:18,248
- 'Scuse me?
- I meant it as a play
550
00:22:18,249 --> 00:22:20,503
off of good, stiff drink.
Not like an erection.
551
00:22:20,504 --> 00:22:22,256
I don't think you need help with that.
552
00:22:22,257 --> 00:22:24,469
I mean, I, [STAMMERS] I have a yearbook.
553
00:22:24,470 --> 00:22:27,141
- Thanks, though.
- Um, but maybe you just
554
00:22:27,142 --> 00:22:28,687
want to window shop it?
555
00:22:31,150 --> 00:22:32,778
- How much?
- 100 bucks.
556
00:22:32,779 --> 00:22:34,949
[LIGHT LAUGH] You know, a wise woman
557
00:22:34,950 --> 00:22:36,827
did once tell me
558
00:22:36,828 --> 00:22:39,415
that I should seize all
opportunities coming my way.
559
00:22:39,416 --> 00:22:42,923
You were actually listening
to my graduation speech?
560
00:22:42,924 --> 00:22:45,887
Course I was. It was great.
561
00:22:45,888 --> 00:22:48,893
[SOFT MUSIC]
562
00:22:48,894 --> 00:22:51,356
? ?
563
00:22:51,357 --> 00:22:53,402
[LOUD MUSIC PLAYING]
564
00:22:53,403 --> 00:22:54,613
Move it, you need to jiggle it!
565
00:22:54,614 --> 00:22:56,645
I'm jiggling! There aren't
a ton of ways to jiggle.
566
00:22:56,646 --> 00:22:57,867
Let's just try calling someone.
567
00:22:57,868 --> 00:23:01,293
- They have our phones.
- Not what I meant.
568
00:23:01,294 --> 00:23:03,338
Help. Help!
569
00:23:03,339 --> 00:23:05,342
BOTH: [SHOUTING] Help!
570
00:23:05,343 --> 00:23:08,098
MAN: ? I don't wanna know your name ?
571
00:23:08,099 --> 00:23:11,522
? I don't wanna know your name ?
572
00:23:11,523 --> 00:23:13,191
? I don't wanna know your name... ?
573
00:23:13,192 --> 00:23:15,822
[UPBEAT ROCK/POP MUSIC]
574
00:23:15,823 --> 00:23:22,837
? ?
575
00:23:22,887 --> 00:23:27,437
Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0
40715
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bengali
Bosnian
Bulgarian
Catalan
Cebuano
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Finnish
French
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Gujarati
Haitian Creole
Hawaiian
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Khmer
Korean
Kurdish (Kurmanji)
Kyrgyz
Lao
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Polish
Romanian
Russian
Samoan
Serbian
Sesotho
Shona
Sinhala
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swahili
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Turkish
Ukrainian
Urdu
Uzbek
Vietnamese