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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,584 --> 00:00:03,752 [Serene music] 2 00:00:03,754 --> 00:00:04,754 [Video game tones] 3 00:00:04,755 --> 00:00:08,290 Laurie, Andy, fetus. 4 00:00:08,292 --> 00:00:10,259 Thank you for joining me here today 5 00:00:10,261 --> 00:00:12,894 in this calm, meditative space. 6 00:00:12,896 --> 00:00:15,564 I've gathered you here because I think it's-- 7 00:00:15,566 --> 00:00:19,034 Can you stop playing Bejeweled for ten seconds? 8 00:00:19,036 --> 00:00:20,702 There's no--there's no wrong way to meditate. 9 00:00:20,704 --> 00:00:21,670 - She told me that. - Give me your phone. 10 00:00:21,672 --> 00:00:23,438 Well, there sort of is. 11 00:00:23,440 --> 00:00:24,773 - Give me this. - What? Don't take my phone. 12 00:00:24,775 --> 00:00:25,841 - Give me this. - I'm not 12 years old. 13 00:00:25,843 --> 00:00:27,676 - You can't take it. - Oh, oh, oh. 14 00:00:27,678 --> 00:00:29,544 See, I think this is actually going to be a really good time 15 00:00:29,546 --> 00:00:31,980 to finalize the plans for your babymoon 16 00:00:31,982 --> 00:00:34,716 'cause I think the babymoon is really going to ease 17 00:00:34,718 --> 00:00:38,453 the considerable tension that I feel 18 00:00:38,455 --> 00:00:39,721 between the two of you. 19 00:00:39,723 --> 00:00:41,990 Perhaps even eliminate it. What--what ideas-- 20 00:00:41,992 --> 00:00:44,693 What plan have you come up with? Have you decided? 21 00:00:44,695 --> 00:00:47,296 We have. We're having a staycation. 22 00:00:47,298 --> 00:00:48,597 - Oh. - Yeah. 23 00:00:48,599 --> 00:00:50,365 We're going to ship the kids off to my folks, 24 00:00:50,367 --> 00:00:52,401 order some salads in, and some spa treatments. 25 00:00:52,403 --> 00:00:53,403 Salads? 26 00:00:53,404 --> 00:00:55,837 And for 48 glorious hours, 27 00:00:55,839 --> 00:00:57,372 that house will be ours again. 28 00:00:57,374 --> 00:00:59,875 Well, that sounds lovely, doesn't it? 29 00:00:59,877 --> 00:01:01,510 Wha--what about my plan though? 30 00:01:01,512 --> 00:01:03,445 Because, look, you get free buffet breakfast 31 00:01:03,447 --> 00:01:04,447 in a superior room. 32 00:01:04,448 --> 00:01:05,647 Okay, an expired Groupon 33 00:01:05,649 --> 00:01:07,616 to the MGM Grand is not a plan, Andy. 34 00:01:07,618 --> 00:01:10,419 I'm not hauling my pregnant ass up and down some Vegas casino. 35 00:01:10,421 --> 00:01:12,954 Vegas! Vegas! Who said Vegas? 36 00:01:12,956 --> 00:01:15,324 Honestly, the airport is fogged in right now, 37 00:01:15,326 --> 00:01:16,425 but flights are going in about an hour. 38 00:01:16,427 --> 00:01:17,592 We can go out of Oakland. 39 00:01:17,594 --> 00:01:19,728 False alarm, Will. No one's going to Vegas. 40 00:01:19,730 --> 00:01:21,963 Andy and Laurie are having a babymoon staycation, Will. 41 00:01:21,965 --> 00:01:23,465 Stop making up words. 42 00:01:23,467 --> 00:01:24,866 Andy, are you really going to let Laurie 43 00:01:24,868 --> 00:01:26,068 bully you out of a trip to Vegas? 44 00:01:26,070 --> 00:01:27,636 - Come on! - It's not-- 45 00:01:27,638 --> 00:01:29,604 It's not bullying. It's just--it's-- 46 00:01:29,606 --> 00:01:31,340 That's right, Andy. No, it's not. 47 00:01:31,342 --> 00:01:33,408 And you know what? We just want to be alone 48 00:01:33,410 --> 00:01:34,476 in our house. 49 00:01:34,478 --> 00:01:38,480 Your house smells like poop and feet and vomit. 50 00:01:38,482 --> 00:01:41,116 I am a professional doula, and I am currently doulaing, 51 00:01:41,118 --> 00:01:44,486 - Oh really? Do you have a license? - You can't institutionalize 52 00:01:44,488 --> 00:01:45,954 - healing, Will. - Oh, really? What's a doctor? 53 00:01:45,956 --> 00:01:47,122 That's a different beast. 54 00:01:47,124 --> 00:01:49,524 Andy, let me ask you something. 55 00:01:49,526 --> 00:01:51,093 If you're not being bullied, 56 00:01:51,095 --> 00:01:52,928 why don't you have a say in any of this? 57 00:01:52,930 --> 00:01:55,864 Very true. Why don't I ever get a say in our vacations? 58 00:01:55,866 --> 00:01:57,532 Let's see, um, do the words 59 00:01:57,534 --> 00:01:59,401 "Bicycle trip through Laos" ring a bell? 60 00:01:59,403 --> 00:02:01,870 That was 12 years ago! And we got on the news. 61 00:02:01,872 --> 00:02:02,938 We got SARS! 62 00:02:02,940 --> 00:02:05,140 The is the considerable tension 63 00:02:05,142 --> 00:02:07,008 I was talking about eliminating. 64 00:02:07,010 --> 00:02:09,945 Andy, I am putting my swollen foot down. 65 00:02:09,947 --> 00:02:12,481 - Staycation. - House arrest. 66 00:02:12,483 --> 00:02:15,617 Tension elimination. 67 00:02:15,619 --> 00:02:18,754 You know what? 68 00:02:18,756 --> 00:02:20,756 I got a foot too. 69 00:02:20,758 --> 00:02:22,657 My foot is going to Vegas. 70 00:02:24,694 --> 00:02:26,428 Okay, fine. Go to Vegas. 71 00:02:26,430 --> 00:02:27,996 That's fine. I'm gonna be here 72 00:02:27,998 --> 00:02:30,499 on my staycation with Fiona. 73 00:02:30,501 --> 00:02:31,600 Thank you, Will. 74 00:02:31,602 --> 00:02:34,035 In all my years--months, 75 00:02:34,037 --> 00:02:35,822 as an unlicensed healer, I've never been-- 76 00:02:35,847 --> 00:02:37,606 Hold on one second, someone's talking. 77 00:02:37,608 --> 00:02:39,775 You put the reservation under Will Freeman, 78 00:02:39,777 --> 00:02:41,877 and I'll take a double bed by the elevator 79 00:02:41,879 --> 00:02:43,478 per usual. Is this Stephanie? 80 00:02:43,480 --> 00:02:44,880 Here we go. 81 00:02:44,882 --> 00:02:48,150 [Brett Dennen's Comeback Kid (That's My Dog)] 82 00:02:48,152 --> 00:02:50,752 Well, maybe it's the common curse 83 00:02:50,754 --> 00:02:53,588 maybe things get bad before they get worse 84 00:02:53,590 --> 00:02:55,991 I don't want to become someone 85 00:02:55,993 --> 00:02:59,761 who can't live up to what I already done, don't 86 00:02:59,763 --> 00:03:01,496 here comes a comeback 87 00:03:01,498 --> 00:03:04,032 the kid is back, is back on track 88 00:03:04,034 --> 00:03:07,035 and there goes my hero 89 00:03:07,037 --> 00:03:10,906 he's the underdog, he's coming out on top, and 90 00:03:10,908 --> 00:03:13,941 Sync & corrections by Alice www.addic7ed.com 91 00:03:15,144 --> 00:03:18,814 Our date is saved. I found the knitting kit. 92 00:03:18,816 --> 00:03:19,816 "Sharcus"? 93 00:03:19,817 --> 00:03:21,116 It's our couples name. 94 00:03:21,118 --> 00:03:24,019 You know, Shea plus Marcus... Sharcus. 95 00:03:24,021 --> 00:03:26,455 You know, I already did most of the heavy lifting, 96 00:03:26,457 --> 00:03:28,267 but I thought you know, maybe we could 97 00:03:28,292 --> 00:03:29,891 embroider some flourishes together. 98 00:03:29,893 --> 00:03:32,561 Sorry, Marcus. I don't have time. 99 00:03:32,563 --> 00:03:34,930 I have to read this book. For school. 100 00:03:34,932 --> 00:03:36,531 Great idea. 101 00:03:36,533 --> 00:03:38,900 You know, I was gonna suggest a couple of study sessions 102 00:03:38,902 --> 00:03:40,735 but I didn't want things to move too fast. 103 00:03:40,737 --> 00:03:43,138 Uh, what's the subject? 104 00:03:46,142 --> 00:03:48,610 Um, this isn't a school book. 105 00:03:48,612 --> 00:03:50,712 Forget it. You wouldn't understand. 106 00:03:50,714 --> 00:03:52,147 "Wouldn't understand"? 107 00:03:52,149 --> 00:03:54,649 I read above the 12th grade reading level. 108 00:03:54,651 --> 00:03:56,818 You know, I just finished Ladies Of Loom: 109 00:03:56,820 --> 00:04:00,489 A complete history of wool and the women who shaped it. 110 00:04:00,491 --> 00:04:01,623 And you know, it was actually-- 111 00:04:01,625 --> 00:04:03,024 it's not that kind of book. 112 00:04:03,026 --> 00:04:04,593 It's about adult relationships. 113 00:04:04,595 --> 00:04:08,964 You wouldn't be able to handle it, so stop asking. 114 00:04:18,140 --> 00:04:19,941 Come on, Julio, work the instep. 115 00:04:19,943 --> 00:04:21,810 These feet are walking for two. 116 00:04:21,812 --> 00:04:25,046 Ooooh, that's the sweet spot. 117 00:04:25,048 --> 00:04:27,616 Laurie, may I share something with you? 118 00:04:27,618 --> 00:04:29,618 If it's about anything other than this man's hands 119 00:04:29,620 --> 00:04:30,919 on my feet, then no. 120 00:04:30,921 --> 00:04:34,350 I mean, as your friend, I would like to thank you for this 121 00:04:34,575 --> 00:04:36,291 serene experience. 122 00:04:36,293 --> 00:04:37,959 But as your doula, I do feel a bit guilty 123 00:04:37,961 --> 00:04:39,160 about taking Andy's place. 124 00:04:39,162 --> 00:04:40,832 Shh! 125 00:04:43,634 --> 00:04:45,901 You see, I do think it should be Andy 126 00:04:45,903 --> 00:04:48,870 experiencing the joys of Julio's hands. 127 00:04:48,872 --> 00:04:50,805 Andy hates massages. 128 00:04:50,807 --> 00:04:55,176 He had a bad experience falling asleep at the YMCA. 129 00:04:55,178 --> 00:04:57,078 Come on, Julio, we're not in an oil drought. 130 00:04:57,080 --> 00:04:58,880 Slather it on. 131 00:05:00,182 --> 00:05:02,884 All right, baby, I got the whole itinerary planned out. 132 00:05:02,886 --> 00:05:04,786 Day one: Poker, whiskey, steak. 133 00:05:04,788 --> 00:05:07,088 Day two: Poker, whiskey, steak. 134 00:05:07,090 --> 00:05:08,256 Am I missing anything? 135 00:05:08,258 --> 00:05:09,958 - The Angry Rabbit. - The Angry Rabbit? 136 00:05:09,960 --> 00:05:12,160 Is that an awesome meal, or a terrible strip club? 137 00:05:12,162 --> 00:05:13,628 No, it is-- 138 00:05:13,630 --> 00:05:15,564 What are we doing? No, we're not doing that. 139 00:05:15,566 --> 00:05:17,566 All right, let's go grab a couple of single malts 140 00:05:17,568 --> 00:05:20,101 and hit the tables. [Clapping] 141 00:05:20,103 --> 00:05:21,970 No. 142 00:05:21,972 --> 00:05:23,004 What do you mean "no"? 143 00:05:23,006 --> 00:05:25,106 No. I don't want to do that. 144 00:05:25,108 --> 00:05:27,909 I mean, I just stared down a Laurie so full of hormones 145 00:05:27,911 --> 00:05:29,778 she bit the head off her toothbrush. 146 00:05:29,780 --> 00:05:31,880 I'm not gonna be controlled anymore. 147 00:05:31,882 --> 00:05:33,848 Not by her, and--and not by you. 148 00:05:33,850 --> 00:05:35,650 I don't control you. Come on. 149 00:05:35,652 --> 00:05:36,851 - Yes, you do. - Let's go. 150 00:05:36,853 --> 00:05:38,954 Every single time we go to Vegas 151 00:05:38,956 --> 00:05:40,322 we follow Will's plan. 152 00:05:40,324 --> 00:05:43,158 We play Will's games, and we drink Will's drinks. 153 00:05:43,160 --> 00:05:45,026 Poker and whiskey aren't Will's plan, 154 00:05:45,028 --> 00:05:46,828 they're God's plan. 155 00:05:48,197 --> 00:05:50,699 This time we're following Andy's plan. 156 00:05:50,701 --> 00:05:53,735 Hey, bartender, two Kahlua Mudslides. 157 00:05:53,737 --> 00:05:55,804 Extra whipped cream. 158 00:06:01,043 --> 00:06:03,345 This is so sick. 159 00:06:03,347 --> 00:06:07,015 I always dreamt about hanging out in The Angry Rabbit. 160 00:06:07,017 --> 00:06:08,149 It's where all the masters hang out. 161 00:06:08,151 --> 00:06:09,784 Magic Milton, 162 00:06:09,786 --> 00:06:11,653 Astounding Amos, 163 00:06:11,655 --> 00:06:13,121 Ichiro The Invisible. 164 00:06:13,123 --> 00:06:15,657 [Gong echoes] 165 00:06:15,659 --> 00:06:18,326 - Arigato. - [Laughing] 166 00:06:18,328 --> 00:06:20,328 - So cool! - This place is not cool, dude. 167 00:06:20,330 --> 00:06:24,032 The place is like Ocean's 0. 168 00:06:24,034 --> 00:06:26,801 Oh, my God. Hey, psst. 169 00:06:26,803 --> 00:06:28,670 If that's who I think it is, we gotta say hi. 170 00:06:28,672 --> 00:06:31,806 I prefer not to speak to anyone, Andy. 171 00:06:31,808 --> 00:06:33,074 Oh, my God. It's Andini. 172 00:06:33,076 --> 00:06:35,210 And if anybody asks, you are my assistant. 173 00:06:35,212 --> 00:06:37,345 Oh, no one's going to ask, dude. 174 00:06:37,347 --> 00:06:41,216 Excuse me. Hi. Sir, um, 175 00:06:41,218 --> 00:06:44,352 sorry to bother you, but are you Dennis The Deceiver? 176 00:06:44,354 --> 00:06:46,821 I am what I am. 177 00:06:46,823 --> 00:06:49,057 Or am I? 178 00:06:49,059 --> 00:06:50,792 Just like in your show. 179 00:06:50,794 --> 00:06:53,294 As a young illusionist, I always dreamed about 180 00:06:53,296 --> 00:06:55,664 going to your elite College of Magic. 181 00:06:55,666 --> 00:06:58,433 Oh, you're an alumnus? Why didn't you say so? 182 00:06:58,435 --> 00:06:59,801 Sit down, kid. Give him a drink. 183 00:06:59,803 --> 00:07:02,337 No, I'm not. Not an alumnus. 184 00:07:02,339 --> 00:07:04,873 I-I applied. I just didn't get in. 185 00:07:04,875 --> 00:07:07,142 Andy, who doesn't get in to magic school? 186 00:07:07,144 --> 00:07:09,077 A lot of people. It's very competitive. 187 00:07:09,079 --> 00:07:10,945 Competitive? It was magic school, kid, 188 00:07:10,947 --> 00:07:12,247 not Dartmouth. 189 00:07:12,249 --> 00:07:15,784 We accepted anybody whose tuition check cleared. 190 00:07:15,786 --> 00:07:16,985 That's not true because 191 00:07:16,987 --> 00:07:18,720 I actually got a rejection letter. 192 00:07:18,722 --> 00:07:20,355 My wife showed it to me. 193 00:07:20,357 --> 00:07:23,925 I'll never forget the feeling when I opened it. 194 00:07:23,927 --> 00:07:25,960 We didn't have rejection letters. 195 00:07:29,231 --> 00:07:31,199 Oh, my God. 196 00:07:31,201 --> 00:07:33,201 She faked it. 197 00:07:33,203 --> 00:07:34,969 Laurie faked the letter. 198 00:07:34,971 --> 00:07:37,472 She denied my dream of pursuing the cape, 199 00:07:37,474 --> 00:07:39,107 and she took it away, 200 00:07:39,109 --> 00:07:42,377 just like she takes everything away from me. 201 00:07:42,379 --> 00:07:47,382 Buddy, maybe you'd feel better anywhere else than here. 202 00:07:47,384 --> 00:07:48,850 You okay, son? 203 00:07:48,852 --> 00:07:50,385 No. 204 00:07:51,821 --> 00:07:54,823 I'm better than okay. [Chuckles] 205 00:07:54,825 --> 00:07:58,193 Because Laurie's not gonna control me anymore, Dennis. 206 00:07:58,195 --> 00:07:59,761 I'm free. 207 00:07:59,763 --> 00:08:04,766 Bartender, a round of Mudslides for all free men! 208 00:08:04,768 --> 00:08:05,900 I'm not a free man. 209 00:08:05,902 --> 00:08:08,303 I'll take a scotch in a to-go cup. 210 00:08:12,007 --> 00:08:15,477 Oof. This book is so much better than married life. 211 00:08:15,479 --> 00:08:17,245 Andy's idea of erotic adventure 212 00:08:17,247 --> 00:08:19,848 is sex with the TV off. 213 00:08:19,850 --> 00:08:23,084 Laurie, I-I think you might have missed the intent 214 00:08:23,086 --> 00:08:24,086 of the babymoon. 215 00:08:24,087 --> 00:08:27,362 What are you talking about? This is the best staycation I've ever had. 216 00:08:27,387 --> 00:08:29,991 Maybe for you, but do you really think eyebrow sculpting 217 00:08:29,993 --> 00:08:31,459 is Andy's idea of a good time? 218 00:08:31,461 --> 00:08:33,361 [Sighs] Okay, maybe the staycation 219 00:08:33,363 --> 00:08:35,230 is a little me-focused, but so what? 220 00:08:35,232 --> 00:08:36,498 I mean, I'm the one having the damn baby. 221 00:08:36,500 --> 00:08:39,000 Shh! It's the third trimester. 222 00:08:39,002 --> 00:08:40,769 - Fetus has ears. - If it's anything like 223 00:08:40,771 --> 00:08:42,537 my other three children, it's not listening. 224 00:08:42,539 --> 00:08:45,173 I have to be stuck in the office every day 225 00:08:45,175 --> 00:08:47,408 while my idiot husband gets to do whatever he wants 226 00:08:47,410 --> 00:08:49,477 including faking his vasectomy. 227 00:08:49,479 --> 00:08:51,880 Andy is a stay-at-home dad, 228 00:08:51,882 --> 00:08:54,949 so maybe the idea of staying home for the weekend 229 00:08:54,951 --> 00:08:58,153 was like the idea of you staying at the office all weekend. 230 00:08:58,155 --> 00:09:01,956 And he is an idiot, but he's your idiot. 231 00:09:01,958 --> 00:09:03,858 And he does love you. 232 00:09:03,860 --> 00:09:07,162 You're having a lovely new baby. 233 00:09:11,100 --> 00:09:12,934 [Sighs] 234 00:09:12,936 --> 00:09:15,036 Crap. 235 00:09:15,038 --> 00:09:16,905 Ladies and gentlemen, 236 00:09:16,907 --> 00:09:18,973 mostly gentlemen, 237 00:09:18,975 --> 00:09:20,341 I, for my next trick, 238 00:09:20,343 --> 00:09:23,011 will make this bottle of Tequila disappear. 239 00:09:23,013 --> 00:09:24,013 Andy, come on. All right. 240 00:09:24,014 --> 00:09:25,814 Let's say good-bye to Gandalf 241 00:09:25,816 --> 00:09:27,348 and Dumbledore over there and let's go. 242 00:09:27,350 --> 00:09:28,583 We're leaving. Come on. 243 00:09:28,585 --> 00:09:30,852 I'm not leaving. I'm not going back to the hotel, 244 00:09:30,854 --> 00:09:32,887 and I'm not going back to San Francisco. 245 00:09:32,889 --> 00:09:35,423 From now on, The Angry Rabbit is my home. 246 00:09:35,425 --> 00:09:37,559 Andy, you are literally talking about 247 00:09:37,561 --> 00:09:39,093 running away and joining the circus. 248 00:09:39,095 --> 00:09:40,995 - Come on, we're going. - Andy is dead. 249 00:09:40,997 --> 00:09:43,565 - Let's go. - From now on, it's just Andini, 250 00:09:43,567 --> 00:09:44,599 master of illusion. 251 00:09:44,601 --> 00:09:47,969 Okay, Andini-- Andini, let--we're-- 252 00:09:47,971 --> 00:09:49,971 Andy. [Gong echoes] 253 00:09:49,973 --> 00:09:52,040 Or am I? 254 00:09:56,245 --> 00:10:01,182 Andy! [Phone ringing] 255 00:10:01,184 --> 00:10:03,184 - Hello? - Well, I've done it. 256 00:10:03,186 --> 00:10:06,287 With a little skill and a lot of compassion, 257 00:10:06,289 --> 00:10:09,457 I've mended the rift between Andy and Laurie. 258 00:10:09,459 --> 00:10:12,093 And actually, we're coming to Vegas to celebrate. 259 00:10:12,095 --> 00:10:14,596 So I can't wait to hear what Andy has to say about that. 260 00:10:14,598 --> 00:10:16,364 Can you put him on? Where is he? 261 00:10:16,366 --> 00:10:19,400 That is a surprisingly complicated question 262 00:10:19,402 --> 00:10:20,902 at the moment. 263 00:10:20,904 --> 00:10:21,970 Is it? 264 00:10:23,239 --> 00:10:25,640 Ah. Please remember to tip your waitresses 265 00:10:25,642 --> 00:10:27,242 and, uh, don't forget to eat the veal. 266 00:10:27,244 --> 00:10:28,576 Will? 267 00:10:40,055 --> 00:10:41,923 - Andy! - What? 268 00:10:41,925 --> 00:10:43,224 What the hell, man? 269 00:10:43,226 --> 00:10:44,592 I've been looking everywhere for you. 270 00:10:44,594 --> 00:10:46,060 Shh. Stop yelling. 271 00:10:46,062 --> 00:10:47,495 Where were you all night? 272 00:10:47,497 --> 00:10:49,364 That depends. Where am I right now? 273 00:10:49,366 --> 00:10:50,665 Outside our hotel. 274 00:10:50,667 --> 00:10:52,667 Oh, no. 275 00:10:52,669 --> 00:10:54,235 I did something bad. 276 00:10:54,237 --> 00:10:55,603 I did something really bad. 277 00:10:59,174 --> 00:11:02,377 You spent $10,000 on this? 278 00:11:02,379 --> 00:11:04,245 It all happened so quick. 279 00:11:04,247 --> 00:11:06,381 One second I'm having a Mudslide with my hero, 280 00:11:06,383 --> 00:11:08,483 next thing you know, I'm buying his entire act. 281 00:11:08,485 --> 00:11:10,051 Is that dried blood? 282 00:11:11,320 --> 00:11:13,988 "Irishman's Bottomless Whiskey Barrel." 283 00:11:13,990 --> 00:11:15,556 "Permanent Siesta." 284 00:11:15,558 --> 00:11:16,595 "The Hairy Greek." 285 00:11:16,620 --> 00:11:19,360 This is all gonna need some updating for 2015. 286 00:11:20,162 --> 00:11:22,096 - What's in there? - Dead rabbits. 287 00:11:22,098 --> 00:11:23,164 I can't believe he lied to me. 288 00:11:23,166 --> 00:11:26,267 His name was Dennis The Deceiver. 289 00:11:27,670 --> 00:11:30,104 $10,000 was our nest egg for the new baby. 290 00:11:30,106 --> 00:11:31,406 I mean, Laurie's gonna murder me. 291 00:11:31,408 --> 00:11:32,974 She's gonna murder me. The only question is 292 00:11:32,976 --> 00:11:35,576 how is she going to do it? Because she's smart. 293 00:11:35,578 --> 00:11:37,445 She'll make the whole thing look like an accident. 294 00:11:37,447 --> 00:11:41,516 Whatever you do, do not let her take me on a boat. 295 00:11:41,518 --> 00:11:42,684 This might not be a good time, 296 00:11:42,686 --> 00:11:45,653 but I have a little something to tell you. 297 00:11:45,655 --> 00:11:48,389 Andy! 298 00:11:48,391 --> 00:11:50,425 Do not admit anything. I can fix this. 299 00:11:50,427 --> 00:11:51,993 - How? - I'll think of something, 300 00:11:51,995 --> 00:11:53,261 all right? 301 00:11:53,263 --> 00:11:54,595 - Andy. - I'm sorry. 302 00:11:54,597 --> 00:11:57,231 No, no, I'm sorry. 303 00:11:57,233 --> 00:11:58,633 I'm sorry. 304 00:11:58,635 --> 00:12:02,370 Honey, I've been selfish and totally unfair to you. 305 00:12:02,372 --> 00:12:03,705 You have? 306 00:12:03,707 --> 00:12:05,406 I've ignored your needs 307 00:12:05,408 --> 00:12:07,508 and I've taken you for granted. 308 00:12:07,510 --> 00:12:09,744 I want this babymoon to be a new beginning for us. 309 00:12:09,746 --> 00:12:11,312 - [Chuckles] - We're in Vegas. 310 00:12:11,314 --> 00:12:13,147 Let's renew our vows! 311 00:12:13,149 --> 00:12:15,049 [Chuckles] That's great. 312 00:12:15,051 --> 00:12:17,418 - Will, I need help. - Get in line, amigo. 313 00:12:17,420 --> 00:12:19,120 All right, I can't go into specifics, 314 00:12:19,122 --> 00:12:21,289 but let's say there's something I'm not allowed to see, 315 00:12:21,291 --> 00:12:23,524 but if I don't see it, I may lose my girlfriend. 316 00:12:23,526 --> 00:12:26,027 Okay, I understood absolutely none of that. 317 00:12:26,029 --> 00:12:27,662 But you're in Vegas, buddy, okay? 318 00:12:27,664 --> 00:12:31,065 If it's not illegal, I say go for it, all right? 319 00:12:31,067 --> 00:12:34,135 All right. I'm gonna read that book. 320 00:12:34,137 --> 00:12:35,703 - Book? - She's killing me, man. 321 00:12:35,705 --> 00:12:37,171 She's being nice to you. 322 00:12:37,173 --> 00:12:39,407 I know, and it's horrible. 323 00:12:39,409 --> 00:12:41,409 The guilt is driving me insane. 324 00:12:41,411 --> 00:12:43,711 [Squeals] I booked the chapel. 325 00:12:43,713 --> 00:12:46,214 - [Squeals] - [Chuckles] 326 00:12:48,684 --> 00:12:50,585 Why does your beard taste like whipped cream? 327 00:12:50,587 --> 00:12:52,620 'Cause I'm so sweet on you. 328 00:12:52,622 --> 00:12:56,124 Okay, much as this place reeks of sin and desperation, 329 00:12:56,126 --> 00:12:58,026 and I am just talking about the hallway, 330 00:12:58,028 --> 00:13:00,028 it's so good that Andy and Laurie 331 00:13:00,030 --> 00:13:01,729 really did get together for their babymoon. 332 00:13:01,731 --> 00:13:04,198 Andy got hammered and spent their entire nest egg 333 00:13:04,200 --> 00:13:06,067 on magic tricks. 334 00:13:06,069 --> 00:13:07,201 Are you trying to get them divorced? 335 00:13:07,203 --> 00:13:09,704 Shh! Will you shut up? 336 00:13:09,706 --> 00:13:11,172 Listen to me, okay? 337 00:13:11,174 --> 00:13:12,607 We can argue all day about whose fault this is-- 338 00:13:12,609 --> 00:13:14,208 it's your fault. 339 00:13:14,210 --> 00:13:15,810 I have a plan. 340 00:13:15,812 --> 00:13:17,645 And I'd like your help. 341 00:13:17,647 --> 00:13:19,447 - Oh, you need my help. - Let's go. 342 00:13:19,449 --> 00:13:20,615 [Growls] 343 00:13:20,617 --> 00:13:22,982 [Effi's Bloom playing] 344 00:13:22,984 --> 00:13:29,690 345 00:13:29,692 --> 00:13:33,528 You say I'm hired 346 00:13:33,530 --> 00:13:35,496 as hired as a good man can be 347 00:13:35,498 --> 00:13:37,765 but, baby 348 00:13:37,767 --> 00:13:41,469 I am too tired 349 00:13:41,471 --> 00:13:44,272 to work for you all day on my knees 350 00:13:44,274 --> 00:13:47,375 and I say lady, don't be so hasty 351 00:13:47,377 --> 00:13:49,677 you ain't gonna nail me 352 00:13:49,679 --> 00:13:52,447 with all your loving 353 00:13:52,449 --> 00:13:54,415 'cause all, all I need 354 00:13:54,417 --> 00:13:56,417 is my heart going boom boom boom 355 00:13:56,419 --> 00:13:58,419 all, all I want 356 00:13:58,421 --> 00:14:00,755 is my heart going boom boom boom 357 00:14:00,757 --> 00:14:02,290 all, all I need 358 00:14:02,292 --> 00:14:04,559 is my heart going boom boom boom 359 00:14:04,561 --> 00:14:05,693 all, all I want 360 00:14:05,695 --> 00:14:08,529 is my heart going boom boom boom 361 00:14:08,531 --> 00:14:15,603 362 00:14:15,605 --> 00:14:17,672 ooooh 363 00:14:17,674 --> 00:14:21,442 you say I'm hired 364 00:14:21,444 --> 00:14:24,112 to work for you under your sheets 365 00:14:24,114 --> 00:14:26,114 but, honey 366 00:14:26,116 --> 00:14:29,417 I am too tired 367 00:14:29,419 --> 00:14:31,819 to go down and to deal with the heat 368 00:14:31,821 --> 00:14:35,423 and I say lady, don't be so hasty 369 00:14:35,425 --> 00:14:37,592 you ain't gonna nail me 370 00:14:37,594 --> 00:14:40,561 with all your loving 371 00:14:40,563 --> 00:14:42,497 cause all, all I need 372 00:14:42,499 --> 00:14:44,599 is my heart going boom boom boom 373 00:14:44,601 --> 00:14:46,434 all, all I want 374 00:14:46,436 --> 00:14:48,469 is my heart going boom boom boom 375 00:14:48,471 --> 00:14:50,404 all, all I need 376 00:14:50,406 --> 00:14:52,573 is my heart going boom boom boom 377 00:14:52,575 --> 00:14:54,509 all, all I want 378 00:14:54,511 --> 00:14:57,178 is my heart going boom boom boom 379 00:14:57,180 --> 00:15:04,719 380 00:15:04,721 --> 00:15:05,920 ooooh 381 00:15:05,922 --> 00:15:09,423 you say I'm hired 382 00:15:09,425 --> 00:15:12,260 to work for you under your sheets 383 00:15:12,262 --> 00:15:13,928 but honey 384 00:15:13,930 --> 00:15:17,498 I am too tired 385 00:15:17,500 --> 00:15:20,168 to go down and to deal with the heat 386 00:15:20,170 --> 00:15:23,404 and I say lady, don't be so hasty 387 00:15:23,406 --> 00:15:25,306 you ain't gonna nail me 388 00:15:25,308 --> 00:15:28,309 with all your loving 389 00:15:28,311 --> 00:15:30,578 'cause all, all I need 390 00:15:30,580 --> 00:15:32,647 is my heart going boom boom boom 391 00:15:32,649 --> 00:15:34,582 all, all I want 392 00:15:34,584 --> 00:15:35,850 is my heart going 393 00:15:35,852 --> 00:15:43,824 394 00:15:43,826 --> 00:15:46,561 Hey! You guys get the money? 395 00:15:46,563 --> 00:15:48,763 Yeah. We might have got a bit cocky. 396 00:15:48,765 --> 00:15:51,966 In our defense though, if we'd bet on black, 397 00:15:51,968 --> 00:15:53,534 all your problems would be solved, 398 00:15:53,536 --> 00:15:55,469 and my friend, I'd have a jacuzzi. 399 00:15:58,307 --> 00:15:59,607 That's not helping. 400 00:15:59,609 --> 00:16:02,677 I'm so screwed, you guys. 401 00:16:02,679 --> 00:16:05,379 - I am so screwed. - He is. He actually is. 402 00:16:05,381 --> 00:16:07,982 [Organ music playing] 403 00:16:07,984 --> 00:16:09,383 Andrew, 404 00:16:09,385 --> 00:16:11,852 from this day forward, I vow 405 00:16:11,854 --> 00:16:14,722 to always listen to you. 406 00:16:14,724 --> 00:16:17,858 And to trust you. 407 00:16:17,860 --> 00:16:20,494 No more second-guessing, and always expecting the worst. 408 00:16:20,496 --> 00:16:22,230 No more belittling you. 409 00:16:22,232 --> 00:16:24,432 I am going to appreciate you 410 00:16:24,434 --> 00:16:27,768 for the amazing husband, father, and-- 411 00:16:27,770 --> 00:16:30,304 Honey, last night 412 00:16:30,306 --> 00:16:32,373 I got super drunk on Mudslides 413 00:16:32,375 --> 00:16:34,408 and I spent our entire baby's nest egg 414 00:16:34,410 --> 00:16:37,411 on a storage locker full of racist stage illusions. 415 00:16:37,413 --> 00:16:38,713 And I love you. 416 00:16:38,715 --> 00:16:41,015 With all the growth Laurie's made this past weekend, 417 00:16:41,017 --> 00:16:43,818 I think we could expect to see a positive reaction. 418 00:16:43,820 --> 00:16:45,853 - Honey? - We should be wearing goggles. 419 00:16:45,855 --> 00:16:47,588 Honey? 420 00:16:47,590 --> 00:16:48,590 Honey? 421 00:16:48,591 --> 00:16:50,891 - Honey, please--. - [Growls] 422 00:16:50,893 --> 00:16:53,961 - [Grunting] - I deserve it. 423 00:16:58,734 --> 00:17:00,635 This isn't all on me. 424 00:17:00,637 --> 00:17:02,770 You're the one who stole my destiny. 425 00:17:02,772 --> 00:17:04,372 Oh, come on, Andy. 426 00:17:04,374 --> 00:17:06,307 I wrote that magician school rejection letter 427 00:17:06,309 --> 00:17:07,708 because guess what, Andy? 428 00:17:07,710 --> 00:17:09,910 You are a terrible magician. 429 00:17:09,912 --> 00:17:11,912 Take that back! 430 00:17:11,914 --> 00:17:13,347 12 years of marriage, 431 00:17:13,349 --> 00:17:15,383 you have never guessed my card. 432 00:17:15,385 --> 00:17:17,585 That's not true because I guess your card 433 00:17:17,587 --> 00:17:18,686 every single time. 434 00:17:18,688 --> 00:17:20,955 Oh, you do? 435 00:17:20,957 --> 00:17:22,472 [Chuckles] 436 00:17:22,497 --> 00:17:24,592 2 of spades? 437 00:17:24,594 --> 00:17:26,394 Oh. Oh, my gosh, Andy. 438 00:17:26,396 --> 00:17:27,728 How did you know? 439 00:17:27,730 --> 00:17:29,697 It's amazing! Do it again, Andy! 440 00:17:29,699 --> 00:17:32,667 Do it again! 441 00:17:32,669 --> 00:17:34,902 I'm gonna be sick. Oh, my God. 442 00:17:34,904 --> 00:17:37,838 Looks like you took a big, fat doula on this one. 443 00:17:37,840 --> 00:17:40,741 Oh, you're the one that brought him to Vegas. 444 00:17:40,743 --> 00:17:43,344 Don't you dare blame Vegas. Ever. 445 00:17:43,346 --> 00:17:46,414 That's it! I can't take this book anymore. 446 00:17:46,416 --> 00:17:48,382 What's the matter, darling? 447 00:17:48,384 --> 00:17:50,584 What--is this the book you've been talking about? 448 00:17:50,586 --> 00:17:52,887 Fire and Silk. 449 00:17:52,889 --> 00:17:54,989 How much of that did you read? 450 00:17:54,991 --> 00:17:57,725 Every filthy word. 451 00:17:57,727 --> 00:18:01,529 If this smut is what adult relationships are about, 452 00:18:01,531 --> 00:18:03,731 then I'm not ready. 453 00:18:03,733 --> 00:18:05,466 Sharcus is through. 454 00:18:05,468 --> 00:18:08,602 Now it's just shh and arcus. 455 00:18:08,604 --> 00:18:12,006 Well, that book isn't what adult relationships are like, Marcus. 456 00:18:12,008 --> 00:18:15,076 - It's not? - No, of course not. It-- 457 00:18:15,078 --> 00:18:18,879 [mouthing words] 458 00:18:18,881 --> 00:18:23,351 What? [Both mouthing words] 459 00:18:23,353 --> 00:18:26,087 Yeah, your mom is right, Marcus. 460 00:18:26,089 --> 00:18:28,789 Uh, adult relationships are all about, 461 00:18:28,791 --> 00:18:33,394 - [mouthing] What? - [mouthing] Communication. 462 00:18:33,396 --> 00:18:35,629 Communication. They're about communication. 463 00:18:35,631 --> 00:18:37,465 That's what they're about. 464 00:18:37,467 --> 00:18:39,600 That's right. And good communication 465 00:18:39,602 --> 00:18:41,869 requires trust and honesty. 466 00:18:41,871 --> 00:18:44,105 You really care about Shea, don't you? 467 00:18:44,107 --> 00:18:45,940 - Yeah. - And you want to be around 468 00:18:45,942 --> 00:18:48,509 - for the new baby, right? - What? 469 00:18:48,511 --> 00:18:50,444 - No, I mean, you know... - [Mouthing words] 470 00:18:50,446 --> 00:18:52,646 You need to have 471 00:18:52,648 --> 00:18:54,882 a calm, open, 472 00:18:54,884 --> 00:18:57,918 truthful conversation where you talk, 473 00:18:57,920 --> 00:19:00,755 and more importantly, you listen. 474 00:19:00,757 --> 00:19:03,524 Listening is so key, Fiona. That's a great point. 475 00:19:03,526 --> 00:19:09,797 [Mouthing words] 476 00:19:09,799 --> 00:19:12,733 Wait, um, I can't hear anything. 477 00:19:12,735 --> 00:19:14,935 Wait. Am I going deaf? 478 00:19:14,937 --> 00:19:17,004 Oh, you think we got through to them? 479 00:19:17,006 --> 00:19:19,540 Yeah, I think I got through to them. 480 00:19:19,542 --> 00:19:21,142 Now everything's out in the open, 481 00:19:21,144 --> 00:19:24,178 they can rebuild from a place of honesty and-- 482 00:19:25,814 --> 00:19:27,615 that might be a bit of a journey. 483 00:19:28,717 --> 00:19:30,418 Ah, but they're already-- 484 00:19:32,687 --> 00:19:34,889 yeah, maybe give it a week. 485 00:19:34,891 --> 00:19:36,991 Maybe longer. 486 00:19:41,496 --> 00:19:43,631 Shea, I really like being your boyfriend. 487 00:19:43,633 --> 00:19:46,634 But if this is the kind of adult relationship you want, 488 00:19:46,636 --> 00:19:49,491 then I'm not ready. And frankly, if we're talking 489 00:19:49,516 --> 00:19:52,006 about this stuff on page 148, 490 00:19:52,008 --> 00:19:54,809 probably never gonna be ready. 491 00:19:54,811 --> 00:19:56,444 I'm not ready either. 492 00:19:56,446 --> 00:19:57,478 You're not? 493 00:19:57,480 --> 00:19:58,913 No. 494 00:19:58,915 --> 00:20:00,481 No, when you caught me reading this, 495 00:20:00,483 --> 00:20:02,683 I was so embarrassed. 496 00:20:02,685 --> 00:20:05,119 So you--you don't want to do the stuff in the book? 497 00:20:05,121 --> 00:20:08,155 No, no. Gross. This book is crazy. 498 00:20:08,157 --> 00:20:10,524 Like what they did in the gazebo? 499 00:20:10,526 --> 00:20:13,627 I know! And--and when they were kissing with their tongues? 500 00:20:13,629 --> 00:20:14,962 Ugh. What is that, right? 501 00:20:14,964 --> 00:20:16,697 You mean French kissing? 502 00:20:16,699 --> 00:20:19,233 Uh, th--duh, you know. 503 00:20:19,235 --> 00:20:21,502 The book is set in Portugal 504 00:20:21,504 --> 00:20:22,770 so, you know, that's why it threw me. 505 00:20:22,772 --> 00:20:27,141 Yeah. It's set in Portugal. 506 00:20:27,143 --> 00:20:28,776 You're weird, Marcus. 507 00:20:28,778 --> 00:20:32,546 Yeah, but not like-- Not like "gazebo weird." 508 00:20:33,815 --> 00:20:35,583 So this is just temporary, right? 509 00:20:35,585 --> 00:20:37,185 Just a little, you know, bump in the road 510 00:20:37,186 --> 00:20:38,586 before you're back with Laurie? 511 00:20:38,588 --> 00:20:40,020 Dude, trust me. You're not gonna notice 512 00:20:40,022 --> 00:20:43,023 I'm here. 513 00:20:43,025 --> 00:20:45,025 (Will) I might notice a little bit. 514 00:20:45,027 --> 00:20:47,561 Well, come on. 515 00:20:47,563 --> 00:20:50,164 Looked like so much less stuff in the storage locker. 516 00:20:50,166 --> 00:20:51,632 Dude, come on! 517 00:20:53,802 --> 00:20:54,969 [Dog barking] 518 00:20:54,993 --> 00:20:58,993 Sync & corrections by Alice www.addic7ed.com 519 00:20:59,043 --> 00:21:03,593 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 37451

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