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1
00:00:01,067 --> 00:00:02,867
I've seen you make
some poor choices, Will.
2
00:00:02,902 --> 00:00:05,146
But this one seems
especially bad.
3
00:00:05,178 --> 00:00:06,912
Marcus, I know
you're afraid
4
00:00:06,947 --> 00:00:08,881
of getting hurt.
But I only have
5
00:00:08,915 --> 00:00:12,585
one thing to say to you:
Nut... Up.
6
00:00:12,619 --> 00:00:15,221
Shouldn't you be packing
instead of sumo-ing?
7
00:00:15,255 --> 00:00:18,224
I mean, you leave in a week
and you haven't packed a thing.
8
00:00:18,258 --> 00:00:20,559
Packing,
my lilliputian friend,
9
00:00:20,594 --> 00:00:23,796
is 90% mental.
So, I'm basically packed.
10
00:00:23,830 --> 00:00:25,665
Is there anything
you're not awesome at?
11
00:00:25,699 --> 00:00:28,601
Nope.
Now let's do this.
12
00:00:28,635 --> 00:00:30,770
[Martial arts noises]
13
00:00:30,804 --> 00:00:32,171
Sticky tape-ah.
14
00:00:32,205 --> 00:00:33,906
Ah-uhh!
15
00:00:33,941 --> 00:00:35,207
Hooh!
16
00:00:35,242 --> 00:00:36,575
I was wondering
if you could do me
17
00:00:36,610 --> 00:00:38,878
a tiny favor before
you leave next week.
18
00:00:38,912 --> 00:00:40,046
Name it, my son.
19
00:00:40,080 --> 00:00:41,948
Uh, could you find me
a new best friend?
20
00:00:41,982 --> 00:00:43,382
- What's that, now?
- I need you to find me
21
00:00:43,417 --> 00:00:45,151
a new best friend.
You left for New York
22
00:00:45,185 --> 00:00:46,686
and when you came back,
you chased away
23
00:00:46,720 --> 00:00:48,054
the only friends I had made.
24
00:00:48,088 --> 00:00:49,722
I mean, it's not
that I'm blaming you.
25
00:00:49,756 --> 00:00:51,057
No, no, it doesn't
seem at all like
26
00:00:51,091 --> 00:00:52,858
you're blaming me.
27
00:00:52,893 --> 00:00:54,694
What do you say, Will?
28
00:00:54,728 --> 00:00:55,928
Marcus, I would love
29
00:00:55,963 --> 00:00:57,430
to help you find
a new best friend,
30
00:00:57,464 --> 00:00:58,965
but it's not like
you can just
31
00:00:58,999 --> 00:01:00,333
knock on someone's door
and ask them
32
00:01:00,367 --> 00:01:02,301
- to be your best friend.
- Why not?
33
00:01:02,336 --> 00:01:04,971
- That's how I got you.
- Well played.
34
00:01:07,007 --> 00:01:09,208
All right, I'm on it!
But in the meantime...
35
00:01:09,242 --> 00:01:10,843
Hoo-ah! Ah!
36
00:01:10,877 --> 00:01:13,512
You are going down,
bubble boy.
37
00:01:13,547 --> 00:01:17,550
You are-a probably right,
a-bubble Will.
38
00:01:17,584 --> 00:01:19,385
That is a weird
Austrian accent.
39
00:01:19,419 --> 00:01:21,087
Not... Not Asian at all.
40
00:01:21,121 --> 00:01:23,789
Aah!
Aah!
41
00:01:23,824 --> 00:01:25,391
Oh, no.
Marcus!
42
00:01:25,425 --> 00:01:27,927
- [Screams]
- [Screams]
43
00:01:29,329 --> 00:01:30,896
Here we go.
44
00:01:30,931 --> 00:01:33,499
[Brett Dennen's Comeback Kid(That's my dog)]
45
00:01:33,533 --> 00:01:36,135
Well, maybe
it's the common curse
46
00:01:36,169 --> 00:01:38,804
maybe things get bad
before they get worse
47
00:01:38,839 --> 00:01:41,807
I don't want
to become someone
48
00:01:41,842 --> 00:01:44,944
who can't live up
to what I already done, don't
49
00:01:44,978 --> 00:01:47,213
here comes a comeback
50
00:01:47,247 --> 00:01:49,382
the kid is back,
is back on track
51
00:01:49,416 --> 00:01:52,251
and there goes my hero
52
00:01:52,286 --> 00:01:56,222
he's the underdog,
he's coming out on top, and
53
00:01:56,256 --> 00:01:57,857
[Cheers and applause]
54
00:02:00,594 --> 00:02:02,461
- May I ask a favor?
- May I prevent you
55
00:02:02,496 --> 00:02:04,463
- from asking a favor?
- Once you finally
56
00:02:04,498 --> 00:02:06,599
shove off,
I want to turn
57
00:02:06,633 --> 00:02:08,568
the dumbwaiter into
a fermentation station,
58
00:02:08,602 --> 00:02:10,903
so I can brew my own
ginger kombucha
59
00:02:10,938 --> 00:02:14,073
for my doula class.
It's a natural anti-nauseal,
60
00:02:14,107 --> 00:02:15,274
- don't you know?
- Oh.
61
00:02:15,309 --> 00:02:16,976
So can I borrow some tools
to really seal off
62
00:02:17,010 --> 00:02:18,644
- your side?
- All I really heard was
63
00:02:18,679 --> 00:02:21,714
"once you finally shove off,"
which is just a super-warm
64
00:02:21,748 --> 00:02:22,949
- and fuzzy feeling, you know?
- [Sighs]
65
00:02:22,983 --> 00:02:24,517
I'm just deeply touched
by the whole...
66
00:02:24,551 --> 00:02:25,818
Might I remind you
67
00:02:25,852 --> 00:02:28,888
that it was you who ripped
yourself out of our lives
68
00:02:28,922 --> 00:02:32,992
months ago, but that now our
scars have completely healed.
69
00:02:33,026 --> 00:02:36,729
I am going to build your
fermentation station for you.
70
00:02:36,763 --> 00:02:38,030
That is very kind of you,
Will.
71
00:02:38,065 --> 00:02:40,533
- It's also very egotistical.
- I'm sorry?
72
00:02:40,567 --> 00:02:42,835
Marcus and I don't need
your help anymore.
73
00:02:42,870 --> 00:02:44,637
We are managing fine
without you.
74
00:02:44,671 --> 00:02:46,072
Marcus just asked
for my help finding...
75
00:02:46,106 --> 00:02:47,873
Bup, bup, bup, just the tools.
76
00:02:49,176 --> 00:02:51,377
Wait, babe, have you even
rented a moving truck yet?
77
00:02:51,411 --> 00:02:53,246
Well, I'm not just gonna
throw my guitars
78
00:02:53,280 --> 00:02:55,114
and instruments in the back
of a truck.
79
00:02:55,148 --> 00:02:56,515
Have you packed
anything yet?
80
00:02:56,550 --> 00:02:58,251
Yeah, yeah.
Most of it's packed.
81
00:02:58,285 --> 00:03:00,319
- Just some odds and ends left.
- Well, then show me.
82
00:03:00,354 --> 00:03:01,921
Show me what you've done.
I wanna see it.
83
00:03:01,955 --> 00:03:03,456
Well, that's the thing.
The camera on my iPad
84
00:03:03,490 --> 00:03:05,591
has been super weird lately,
and it's making things
85
00:03:05,626 --> 00:03:07,526
- look super un-packed.
- You haven't packed a thing.
86
00:03:07,561 --> 00:03:08,928
No.
No, I haven't.
87
00:03:08,962 --> 00:03:11,063
But I got bubble wrap.
That's mission critical.
88
00:03:11,098 --> 00:03:13,266
All right, listen.
I get it.
89
00:03:13,300 --> 00:03:15,234
You know, you're moving out,
you're selling your place...
90
00:03:15,269 --> 00:03:17,069
It's an emotional time
for you right now.
91
00:03:17,104 --> 00:03:19,305
No, no, no, no, no, no.
There's no emotion.
92
00:03:19,339 --> 00:03:20,773
There's no emotion.
It's just stuff.
93
00:03:20,808 --> 00:03:22,575
- I'm gonna do it.
- I have an idea.
94
00:03:22,609 --> 00:03:25,144
How about this?
You rent a truck,
95
00:03:25,179 --> 00:03:27,446
I fly out there and we drive
your stuff back
96
00:03:27,481 --> 00:03:29,348
to New York together.
That way you don't have
97
00:03:29,383 --> 00:03:30,817
to worry about, you know,
your precious guitars.
98
00:03:30,851 --> 00:03:33,586
- Is that doable?
- Yeah, it's way doable.
99
00:03:33,620 --> 00:03:36,622
I have a bunch of vacation days
I have to use or lose,
100
00:03:36,657 --> 00:03:39,458
and we've barely seen each other
because of my crazy schedule.
101
00:03:39,493 --> 00:03:42,495
Driving cross-country
with my stuff in a truck
102
00:03:42,529 --> 00:03:44,430
and my lady in a truck.
[Chuckles]
103
00:03:44,464 --> 00:03:46,299
Oh, I'm gonna have to get
a truck hat.
104
00:03:46,333 --> 00:03:48,167
[Both laughing]
105
00:03:48,202 --> 00:03:50,269
Great.
Okay, so then I'll take care
106
00:03:50,304 --> 00:03:52,338
of the ticket and I'll fly out
on Wednesday.
107
00:03:52,372 --> 00:03:53,940
Okay.
Uh, wait, wedne...
108
00:03:53,974 --> 00:03:55,074
- [Beeper sounds]
- Wednesday's in like two...
109
00:03:55,108 --> 00:03:56,876
Hold on, babe, my beeper.
Okay, hold on.
110
00:03:56,910 --> 00:03:59,178
- Wednesday's in two days.
- Um, babe, it's surgery.
111
00:03:59,213 --> 00:04:00,947
- I love you.
- Wednesday's in two days.
112
00:04:00,981 --> 00:04:02,615
- Pack your stuff, okay?
- Do you hear me right now?
113
00:04:02,649 --> 00:04:03,716
Bye, baby.
I love you.
114
00:04:03,750 --> 00:04:04,717
Did we lose... did we lose
connection?
115
00:04:04,751 --> 00:04:05,785
Two days is a...
116
00:04:05,819 --> 00:04:07,720
[Background chatter]
117
00:04:09,389 --> 00:04:10,556
Marcus!
118
00:04:11,725 --> 00:04:13,659
Will?
What are you doing here?
119
00:04:13,694 --> 00:04:15,561
We got two days to find you
a new best friend
120
00:04:15,596 --> 00:04:17,797
to replace me, man.
Odds of success?
121
00:04:17,831 --> 00:04:20,032
Yeah...
122
00:04:26,440 --> 00:04:27,707
We got this.
123
00:04:29,552 --> 00:04:32,147
So, Douglas, I'm assuming
like Marcus here,
124
00:04:32,181 --> 00:04:34,282
you fear sports
and suck at them?
125
00:04:34,317 --> 00:04:37,018
Perfect.
Uh, so what do you like to do
126
00:04:37,053 --> 00:04:39,897
- with your "me" time?
- I'm a level 41 kundu master.
127
00:04:39,922 --> 00:04:42,257
- Wanna battle?
- Next.
128
00:04:42,291 --> 00:04:44,326
I'm into aeronautical
memorabilia.
129
00:04:44,360 --> 00:04:46,394
- Excuse me?
- I collect barf bags.
130
00:04:46,429 --> 00:04:47,796
Dork!
131
00:04:47,830 --> 00:04:49,231
Next.
132
00:04:49,265 --> 00:04:51,833
I'm into mooing.
133
00:04:51,868 --> 00:04:53,735
Moo.
134
00:04:54,837 --> 00:04:57,139
It just became so clear,
you know?
135
00:04:57,173 --> 00:04:59,174
Marcus can't find a kid
his own age to be
136
00:04:59,208 --> 00:05:01,576
his best friend because
they're beneath him...
137
00:05:01,611 --> 00:05:03,044
Socially and emotionally.
138
00:05:03,079 --> 00:05:05,547
So I need to find him
an adult best friend.
139
00:05:05,581 --> 00:05:09,618
Possibly an adult best friend
named... Andy.
140
00:05:09,652 --> 00:05:12,754
I have three kids
under the age of six.
141
00:05:12,789 --> 00:05:14,222
I have another child on the way.
142
00:05:14,257 --> 00:05:16,525
He's mean to me.
And the rivalry thing?
143
00:05:16,559 --> 00:05:17,993
- Very weird.
- What rivalry?
144
00:05:18,027 --> 00:05:20,495
- What are you talking about?
- You don't see it?
145
00:05:20,530 --> 00:05:23,331
He's constantly competing
with me for your affection.
146
00:05:23,366 --> 00:05:25,634
It's so obvious
and it's so one-sided,
147
00:05:25,668 --> 00:05:27,235
'cause I'm not competing
with him for your affection,
148
00:05:27,270 --> 00:05:29,604
that's ridiculous.
'Cause I'd win.
149
00:05:29,639 --> 00:05:31,840
I would win.
Right?
150
00:05:34,544 --> 00:05:37,779
Would you do it for my
video village?
151
00:05:37,814 --> 00:05:38,880
Are you messing with me?
152
00:05:38,915 --> 00:05:42,217
60-inch ultra 4k
high-def TV...
153
00:05:42,251 --> 00:05:45,253
- Uh-huh.
- State-of-the-art
154
00:05:45,288 --> 00:05:49,090
gaming system.
155
00:05:49,125 --> 00:05:52,027
- Throwing in the games?
- Everything.
156
00:05:52,061 --> 00:05:53,929
That controller isn't even
out yet.
157
00:05:53,963 --> 00:05:58,400
Be his best friend,
and all of it is yours, Andy.
158
00:05:58,434 --> 00:06:00,001
You know what,
I'm gonna do it.
159
00:06:00,036 --> 00:06:01,670
- I'll be his friend.
- Yeah, baby!
160
00:06:01,704 --> 00:06:03,238
- I'll be his best friend.
- Yes!
161
00:06:03,272 --> 00:06:04,272
- Hey, Will.
- Hey!
162
00:06:04,307 --> 00:06:05,841
Sorry about the whole
friends thing.
163
00:06:05,875 --> 00:06:07,642
Guess I'll just learn
to fly solo.
164
00:06:07,677 --> 00:06:08,977
Why fly solo when you can
165
00:06:09,011 --> 00:06:12,981
be hanging with your
new best friend, Andy?
166
00:06:13,016 --> 00:06:14,349
Pass. Who else you got?
167
00:06:14,384 --> 00:06:16,117
He just say, "pass"?
168
00:06:16,152 --> 00:06:17,953
You see the stink eye?
You see it?
169
00:06:19,722 --> 00:06:22,257
[Groans]
Ohh... Uhh...
170
00:06:22,291 --> 00:06:25,360
I'm not asking him for his help.
171
00:06:25,395 --> 00:06:27,529
I'm... Gonna do this.
172
00:06:29,265 --> 00:06:31,967
Oh... oh!
Bugger!
173
00:06:39,041 --> 00:06:41,576
Oh.
Okay.
174
00:06:44,714 --> 00:06:46,081
Nah, it's fine.
175
00:06:49,786 --> 00:06:52,020
- What the hell?
- Hello, there.
176
00:06:52,055 --> 00:06:53,488
Gosh, look, it went all
the way through, didn't it?
177
00:06:53,523 --> 00:06:55,023
Are you seriously
kidding me right now?
178
00:06:55,058 --> 00:06:56,591
Well, don't get your
knickers in a twist.
179
00:06:56,626 --> 00:06:58,360
Not that bad.
Not that bad?
180
00:06:58,394 --> 00:07:00,829
I have a broker showing
this house in three days.
181
00:07:00,863 --> 00:07:02,898
I'm thinking it's less
than ideal to show a house
182
00:07:02,932 --> 00:07:04,533
with a crater in the wall.
183
00:07:04,567 --> 00:07:05,934
I will fix it.
184
00:07:05,968 --> 00:07:07,936
No! That is a horrible idea.
185
00:07:07,970 --> 00:07:09,504
I'm gonna have to stop
what I'm doing
186
00:07:09,539 --> 00:07:12,441
to not only
fix your dumbwaiter,
187
00:07:12,475 --> 00:07:15,911
but also build your stupid
kombucha closet
188
00:07:15,945 --> 00:07:17,279
so you don't do
any more damage.
189
00:07:17,313 --> 00:07:18,413
No, no, no, no.
190
00:07:18,447 --> 00:07:20,315
I'm not asking you
to build anything, Will.
191
00:07:20,349 --> 00:07:22,350
I just need some proper
bloody tools
192
00:07:22,385 --> 00:07:24,920
with non-stick
bloody handles, that's all.
193
00:07:24,954 --> 00:07:27,756
Although you might not need
my help, your son Marcus
194
00:07:27,790 --> 00:07:30,659
badly needs it to help
find a new best friend
195
00:07:30,693 --> 00:07:33,195
to replace me.
Thus, The Dating Game setup
196
00:07:33,229 --> 00:07:34,996
that you see before you.
197
00:07:35,031 --> 00:07:36,498
Wha... wha... wha... what?
198
00:07:36,532 --> 00:07:39,768
I have three friends
coming over to be candidates,
199
00:07:39,802 --> 00:07:42,104
and Marcus is gonna choose
which one he likes best.
200
00:07:42,138 --> 00:07:45,774
You're playing a game
to set a date with my child?
201
00:07:45,808 --> 00:07:47,442
Are you completely insane?
202
00:07:47,477 --> 00:07:49,898
To help Marcus find a friend...
203
00:07:49,924 --> 00:07:53,093
An adult like me
who will be sympathetic
204
00:07:53,128 --> 00:07:55,362
to what a special,
weird little dude he is,
205
00:07:55,397 --> 00:07:57,031
because that's what he needs.
206
00:07:57,065 --> 00:07:59,033
Will, Will, Will,
Will, Will, Will.
207
00:07:59,067 --> 00:08:02,569
Your head is so far up your ass
208
00:08:02,604 --> 00:08:04,505
if you think that
that is the best way
209
00:08:04,539 --> 00:08:06,240
of finding Marcus a friend.
210
00:08:06,274 --> 00:08:09,410
- Do you have a better idea?
- Why don't you just teach him
211
00:08:09,444 --> 00:08:12,112
some of your social skills,
you know?
212
00:08:12,147 --> 00:08:13,647
Why don't you tell him
how you made
213
00:08:13,681 --> 00:08:16,150
all your new friends
in New York?
214
00:08:16,184 --> 00:08:18,919
- My friends in New York?
- Yeah.
215
00:08:18,954 --> 00:08:20,054
Okay.
216
00:08:22,357 --> 00:08:25,326
Yeah, all right, I mean,
I met my... I met my, uh,
217
00:08:25,360 --> 00:08:27,261
my Asiago bagel dude, Edelman.
218
00:08:27,295 --> 00:08:30,464
He locked me out of the store.
We had a thing going.
219
00:08:30,498 --> 00:08:33,033
Um, oh, and then there's Vlad,
220
00:08:33,068 --> 00:08:36,036
my obese, eastern European
doorman guy.
221
00:08:36,071 --> 00:08:38,505
He's always like,
"vat is your name?"
222
00:08:38,540 --> 00:08:40,240
But, like, he knows my name.
223
00:08:40,275 --> 00:08:43,310
Then there's the newspaper
kiosk dude across the street
224
00:08:43,345 --> 00:08:45,846
who, like, totally knows
that I always go with The Post,
225
00:08:45,880 --> 00:08:48,349
but, like, sometimes,
I'll fake The Post
226
00:08:48,383 --> 00:08:50,584
and then I'll go
with Rolling Stone.
227
00:08:50,619 --> 00:08:52,219
[Chuckles]
He loves that.
228
00:08:52,253 --> 00:08:55,089
I don't remember his name.
I think it's Hiram.
229
00:08:58,860 --> 00:09:00,894
It... It sounds like
230
00:09:00,929 --> 00:09:03,998
you haven't actually
made any friends.
231
00:09:04,032 --> 00:09:05,599
No, I mean, not great ones,
232
00:09:05,634 --> 00:09:08,402
but... You know, I-I will.
233
00:09:08,436 --> 00:09:11,639
You still got Sam.
234
00:09:11,673 --> 00:09:14,308
The thing is, I just don't see
her as much as I'd like to,
235
00:09:14,342 --> 00:09:16,243
you know, 'cause she's-
her schedule's crazier
236
00:09:16,278 --> 00:09:18,612
than it was even here, but...
It is what it is, you know?
237
00:09:18,646 --> 00:09:20,781
It's still cool.
238
00:09:20,815 --> 00:09:22,816
Doesn't sound that cool.
239
00:09:22,851 --> 00:09:23,984
[Door opens]
240
00:09:24,019 --> 00:09:26,653
- Yo, yo, yo!
- Yo, yo, yo, DJ!
241
00:09:26,688 --> 00:09:27,921
What's up, man?
I came to pick up
242
00:09:27,956 --> 00:09:31,058
that microwave, baby.
Love that grill function.
243
00:09:31,092 --> 00:09:33,827
Oh, hello, my fair lady.
244
00:09:33,862 --> 00:09:35,396
DJ.
245
00:09:37,465 --> 00:09:39,466
- What's with the wall of boxes?
- All right, microwave's yours.
246
00:09:39,501 --> 00:09:43,304
How would you like
to play a game for my TV,
247
00:09:43,338 --> 00:09:46,206
my gaming center,
and all my games?
248
00:09:46,241 --> 00:09:49,577
- Bro, I am insky.
- Insky and Hutch.
249
00:09:51,644 --> 00:09:53,795
All right, hello, everyone,
and welcome
250
00:09:53,820 --> 00:09:55,999
to The Potential Friend Game.
251
00:09:56,033 --> 00:09:57,333
Now, if I win this game,
252
00:09:57,368 --> 00:09:58,968
I am gonna take the TV
and the games
253
00:09:59,003 --> 00:10:00,003
and the system home tonight?
254
00:10:00,037 --> 00:10:01,738
Yes, yes, all right?
Just chill.
255
00:10:01,772 --> 00:10:03,640
Marcus, let's take it away.
256
00:10:03,674 --> 00:10:05,542
All right, potential friend
number one.
257
00:10:05,576 --> 00:10:07,477
- Yes, that's me.
- Moving on.
258
00:10:07,511 --> 00:10:09,345
- What do you mean, moving on?
- Potential friend number two?
259
00:10:09,380 --> 00:10:10,747
How can he move on?
Come on, that's not fair!
260
00:10:10,781 --> 00:10:13,483
- Marcus?
- Fine. [Sighs]
261
00:10:13,517 --> 00:10:15,752
If we're going for a picnic
lunch, what would you pack?
262
00:10:15,786 --> 00:10:17,821
This is easy.
I would pack peanut butter
263
00:10:17,855 --> 00:10:19,689
and jelly sandwiches.
You just killed him!
264
00:10:19,724 --> 00:10:22,725
Nut allergy, dude.
Did you bring an epipen?
265
00:10:22,760 --> 00:10:25,028
- Is it like a ballpoint pen?
- Andy, are you serious?
266
00:10:25,062 --> 00:10:26,830
Next potential friend,
number two.
267
00:10:26,864 --> 00:10:29,165
All right, potential friend
number two.
268
00:10:29,200 --> 00:10:31,468
I'm 15 and it's time for me
to start shaving.
269
00:10:31,502 --> 00:10:33,703
Wet shave or electric?
270
00:10:33,737 --> 00:10:36,005
- Easiest question ever!
- Eh...
271
00:10:37,274 --> 00:10:40,310
When it comes to close,
nothing beats a blade.
272
00:10:40,344 --> 00:10:41,878
A blade?
You killed him?
273
00:10:41,912 --> 00:10:43,847
You're giving him a blade?
He just cut himself last week
274
00:10:43,881 --> 00:10:45,281
on a plastic spork.
275
00:10:45,316 --> 00:10:46,649
I had no business handling it.
276
00:10:46,684 --> 00:10:48,485
If you guys are gonna treat
this like a game...
277
00:10:48,519 --> 00:10:50,286
It is a game.
That's what we're playing.
278
00:10:50,321 --> 00:10:52,655
- Playing a game...
- Just... Shh!
279
00:10:52,690 --> 00:10:55,025
Contestant number three.
Marcus is going on a first date.
280
00:10:55,059 --> 00:10:56,793
He wants to borrow the car.
What do you do?
281
00:10:56,827 --> 00:10:59,262
I verify his insurance
coverage and give him the keys.
282
00:10:59,296 --> 00:11:01,097
Dead!
All three of you have killed
283
00:11:01,132 --> 00:11:02,499
a 12-year-old boy.
284
00:11:02,533 --> 00:11:04,000
You obviously rent him
a limousine
285
00:11:04,034 --> 00:11:05,735
because he's under age,
286
00:11:05,770 --> 00:11:08,705
and so he has a better potential
of scoring with the hot bait
287
00:11:08,739 --> 00:11:09,973
that's in the back
of the car with him.
288
00:11:10,007 --> 00:11:12,442
- Obviously?
- Guys, these are softballs
289
00:11:12,476 --> 00:11:13,943
I'm throwing at you.
All right?
290
00:11:13,978 --> 00:11:15,745
We haven't even gotten
to the hard questions yet.
291
00:11:15,780 --> 00:11:16,980
- [Door bell rings]
- I hope
292
00:11:17,014 --> 00:11:18,748
that's another contestant.
293
00:11:20,684 --> 00:11:22,685
- Oh!
- Hey!
294
00:11:22,720 --> 00:11:24,087
[Both laughing]
295
00:11:24,121 --> 00:11:25,889
Oh, hey.
Oh, my God.
296
00:11:25,923 --> 00:11:27,390
You're... you're early.
297
00:11:27,425 --> 00:11:29,859
I know, I wanted
to surprise you.
298
00:11:29,894 --> 00:11:31,728
- Um...
- You, um...
299
00:11:31,762 --> 00:11:34,197
- You haven't packed anything.
- Well, uh-
300
00:11:34,231 --> 00:11:35,732
- Ciao.
- Hey, how's it going?
301
00:11:39,603 --> 00:11:41,504
You're mad?
Are you mad at me?
302
00:11:41,539 --> 00:11:43,173
I rearranged a lot
to get here, Will.
303
00:11:43,207 --> 00:11:44,507
I know that.
304
00:11:44,542 --> 00:11:47,110
But you weren't supposed
to be here till noon tomorrow.
305
00:11:47,144 --> 00:11:49,045
So, what, you weren't
gonna pack up until then?
306
00:11:49,080 --> 00:11:52,182
I mean, have you even
rented a truck yet?
307
00:11:52,216 --> 00:11:54,718
See, I'm confused because
you seemed really excited
308
00:11:54,752 --> 00:11:56,052
about driving cross-country
together.
309
00:11:56,087 --> 00:11:58,455
I am!
I'm so excited.
310
00:11:58,489 --> 00:12:01,257
I got my lady, a truck.
My lady in a truck.
311
00:12:01,292 --> 00:12:04,427
I fly all the way out here
and I find you screwing around
312
00:12:04,462 --> 00:12:06,262
with your buddies.
I'm not screwing around.
313
00:12:06,297 --> 00:12:08,198
I'm busting my ass
trying to find Marcus
314
00:12:08,232 --> 00:12:09,666
- a new best friend.
- By reenacting
315
00:12:09,700 --> 00:12:11,067
- The Dating Game?
- I didn't say
316
00:12:11,102 --> 00:12:12,769
it wasn't a reach, okay?
317
00:12:12,803 --> 00:12:16,072
Look, I'm sorry, but I cannot
leave here for good
318
00:12:16,107 --> 00:12:18,742
without knowing that Marcus
is taken care of.
319
00:12:18,776 --> 00:12:20,210
Right now?
320
00:12:20,244 --> 00:12:22,012
When you have your entire life
to pack up
321
00:12:22,046 --> 00:12:23,279
and move across the country.
322
00:12:23,314 --> 00:12:25,281
He's lonely, okay?
323
00:12:25,316 --> 00:12:26,583
And I might know something
about that,
324
00:12:26,617 --> 00:12:28,852
'cause it hasn't
exactly been like...
325
00:12:28,886 --> 00:12:31,688
I haven't made a ton of friends
in New York.
326
00:12:31,722 --> 00:12:34,157
But it's... it's no biggie.
I will.
327
00:12:36,093 --> 00:12:39,529
I just... I get what he's going
through 'cause I...
328
00:12:39,563 --> 00:12:44,501
It's like when you are used
to all your boys being around
329
00:12:44,535 --> 00:12:49,572
and then they're gone,
it just doesn't feel great.
330
00:12:49,607 --> 00:12:53,310
I get it.
I do, I get it.
331
00:12:53,344 --> 00:12:55,845
But I have to get back
to work, okay?
332
00:12:55,880 --> 00:12:58,048
So if you can't get this place
packed up in a day,
333
00:12:58,082 --> 00:13:00,850
I'm gonna have to fly back
to New York without you.
334
00:13:00,885 --> 00:13:02,352
Okay.
335
00:13:06,691 --> 00:13:10,193
[Sam's footsteps recede]
336
00:13:16,467 --> 00:13:17,867
Will?
Andy?
337
00:13:17,902 --> 00:13:20,170
Hey.
Uh, bud, listen.
338
00:13:20,204 --> 00:13:23,673
I, uh... I had to drop
the whole friend search thing
339
00:13:23,708 --> 00:13:25,709
to pack up.
I'm so sorry.
340
00:13:25,743 --> 00:13:28,478
Not a problem, Will.
I've decided to give Andy
341
00:13:28,512 --> 00:13:30,614
a trial shot at being
my new best friend.
342
00:13:30,648 --> 00:13:32,415
What?
Yes!
343
00:13:32,450 --> 00:13:35,485
That is so hype.
Dude, you hear that?
344
00:13:35,519 --> 00:13:37,854
Yeah, it's super, super hype.
345
00:13:37,888 --> 00:13:40,724
I need to know exactly
what Will looks for in a friend.
346
00:13:40,758 --> 00:13:41,791
A boyfriend.
347
00:13:41,826 --> 00:13:43,526
I'm sorry,
you just said boyfriend.
348
00:13:43,561 --> 00:13:45,395
What exactly are you working
on there, pal?
349
00:13:45,429 --> 00:13:46,763
Focus, Andy.
350
00:13:46,797 --> 00:13:48,164
I need you to get me
a picture of Will
351
00:13:48,199 --> 00:13:51,634
where he looks awesome.
Like, on the beach.
352
00:13:51,669 --> 00:13:54,404
Um, I'm not sure
what you're going for here.
353
00:13:54,438 --> 00:13:56,673
Andy, just scroll through
your phone
354
00:13:56,707 --> 00:14:00,176
and get me your best
Will picture, okay?
355
00:14:00,211 --> 00:14:02,012
- A little bossy.
- Come on!
356
00:14:02,046 --> 00:14:04,080
Let's get moving...
Buddy.
357
00:14:05,950 --> 00:14:08,284
Someone's got their
bossy boots on today, huh?
358
00:14:16,827 --> 00:14:18,862
What, are you okay?
359
00:14:18,896 --> 00:14:20,597
Yeah.
I was just getting some
360
00:14:20,631 --> 00:14:22,332
pretty paranoid ideas
as to why you were
361
00:14:22,366 --> 00:14:23,967
- putting off packing.
- Really?
362
00:14:24,001 --> 00:14:25,602
Well, banish those thoughts
forever.
363
00:14:25,636 --> 00:14:28,104
Everything has worked out.
I got Marcus a friend,
364
00:14:28,139 --> 00:14:29,606
and I'm packing all
this stuff up,
365
00:14:29,640 --> 00:14:31,074
getting it ready to load up
366
00:14:31,108 --> 00:14:33,076
and drive off into the sunset,
for you.
367
00:14:33,110 --> 00:14:36,246
Hey, I'm busting my balls
packing your crap up.
368
00:14:36,280 --> 00:14:38,648
You think you could put out
a cracker or something?
369
00:14:38,683 --> 00:14:41,051
- I-I could go for a cracker.
- Yeah, we're hungry.
370
00:14:41,085 --> 00:14:43,987
- Less talking, more packing.
- [Cell phone chime]
371
00:14:45,423 --> 00:14:47,958
Ugh.
Man, I have just been getting
372
00:14:47,992 --> 00:14:51,761
a barrage
of the gnarliest emails.
373
00:14:51,796 --> 00:14:53,763
- Look at this.
- That's disgusting.
374
00:14:53,798 --> 00:14:54,764
- That is sick.
- Why would anybody
375
00:14:54,799 --> 00:14:56,166
- send you this?
- I have no idea.
376
00:14:56,200 --> 00:14:57,834
And I've got like
50 of them.
377
00:14:57,868 --> 00:14:59,035
[Knocking]
378
00:14:59,070 --> 00:15:00,937
- Will Freeman?
- Yeah.
379
00:15:00,972 --> 00:15:02,973
We're with the San Francisco
police department.
380
00:15:03,007 --> 00:15:05,775
- Okay. Can I help you?
- Did you post an ad online
381
00:15:05,810 --> 00:15:07,577
seeking sex
with an underage boy?
382
00:15:07,612 --> 00:15:09,546
- What?
- No, not a word, Will.
383
00:15:09,580 --> 00:15:11,114
- I'm his attorney.
- Oh.
384
00:15:11,148 --> 00:15:12,983
I'm on the clock.
And I ain't cheap.
385
00:15:13,017 --> 00:15:14,551
Uh, no, he doesn't have
any money.
386
00:15:14,585 --> 00:15:15,952
Why don't we go downtown
and talk about this?
387
00:15:15,987 --> 00:15:18,989
- What, no, no, no, no, no.
- First, I thought that you guys
388
00:15:19,023 --> 00:15:22,158
were strippers,
but now... I am less sure.
389
00:15:22,193 --> 00:15:23,526
Say something, lawyer!
390
00:15:23,561 --> 00:15:24,928
Officers, don't talk
to my client,
391
00:15:24,962 --> 00:15:26,663
and you...
I don't like that tone.
392
00:15:26,697 --> 00:15:30,066
- I hired you.
- Uh, excuse me, officers.
393
00:15:30,101 --> 00:15:33,136
Does this ad possibly say,
"lonely, bi-man seeks
394
00:15:33,170 --> 00:15:36,139
special boy, 12, for deep
friendship in Manhattan"?
395
00:15:36,173 --> 00:15:38,408
It does.
396
00:15:38,442 --> 00:15:40,877
That's my ad.
397
00:15:40,911 --> 00:15:42,479
Look.
398
00:15:47,685 --> 00:15:49,486
Marcus, what are you doing?
399
00:15:49,520 --> 00:15:51,555
I'm so sorry, Will.
400
00:15:51,589 --> 00:15:54,558
It's just that you tried so hard
to find me a friend like you
401
00:15:54,592 --> 00:15:56,092
so I wouldn't be lonely here.
402
00:15:56,127 --> 00:15:57,961
I want to find you a friend
like me
403
00:15:57,995 --> 00:16:00,430
so you won't be lonely there.
404
00:16:00,464 --> 00:16:03,366
Marcus, man.
Come here.
405
00:16:08,673 --> 00:16:11,641
Oh, man.
Hey, why did you say bi-man?
406
00:16:11,676 --> 00:16:12,842
Bi-coastal, right?
407
00:16:12,877 --> 00:16:15,679
Yeah, that makes sense.
Yeah.
408
00:16:17,120 --> 00:16:19,594
Why does Will like
29-year-olds?
409
00:16:19,628 --> 00:16:22,296
- Why?
- Because there's 20 of them.
410
00:16:22,331 --> 00:16:24,465
- Don't listen to that.
- When they put you
411
00:16:24,500 --> 00:16:26,067
on those registries,
do they have to like take
412
00:16:26,101 --> 00:16:29,237
your picture or you just
have to fill out a form?
413
00:16:29,271 --> 00:16:32,507
Oh, man, that is so childish.
Which is just your type, Will.
414
00:16:32,541 --> 00:16:35,243
All: Oh!
415
00:16:35,277 --> 00:16:37,412
We're done piling
on the pedophile here.
416
00:16:37,446 --> 00:16:38,846
Oh, Will's new favorite
board game.
417
00:16:38,881 --> 00:16:42,283
- All: Oh!
- Good joke!
418
00:16:42,317 --> 00:16:45,853
Um... I would like
to make a toast.
419
00:16:48,357 --> 00:16:52,894
I would just like all of you
to know that, um...
420
00:16:52,928 --> 00:16:55,763
That I'm gonna miss
the crap outta you guys.
421
00:16:55,798 --> 00:17:01,602
And that, uh, that no one
has ever had
422
00:17:01,637 --> 00:17:03,938
a better bunch of friends.
423
00:17:03,972 --> 00:17:06,474
You're more than friends
to me, really.
424
00:17:06,508 --> 00:17:10,144
You guys... Are my family.
425
00:17:12,081 --> 00:17:16,184
So... And I'd say something
to all of you,
426
00:17:16,218 --> 00:17:19,087
but I probably wouldn't
make it through it.
427
00:17:19,121 --> 00:17:20,588
There is one person here
428
00:17:20,622 --> 00:17:22,123
that I can't really say
good-bye to.
429
00:17:22,157 --> 00:17:25,760
Marcus, I am not gonna look
for a friend like you
430
00:17:25,794 --> 00:17:27,962
in New York,
431
00:17:27,997 --> 00:17:30,999
'cause there's no chance in the
world I'd ever find one, man.
432
00:17:31,033 --> 00:17:34,001
[The Kills'
Goodnight Bad Morning]
433
00:17:46,315 --> 00:17:49,717
your eyes,
ready for takeoff
434
00:17:49,752 --> 00:17:51,652
melt in your head
435
00:17:55,991 --> 00:17:59,727
Will?
436
00:17:59,762 --> 00:18:02,030
Can you pull over?
437
00:18:10,005 --> 00:18:13,341
Remember that night
that we stole the paddle boats?
438
00:18:13,375 --> 00:18:15,810
Of course. That was like
the best night ever.
439
00:18:15,844 --> 00:18:18,813
And the paddle boat police guy
started chasing after us?
440
00:18:18,847 --> 00:18:23,851
God, I don't think I laughed
that hard, well, ever.
441
00:18:23,886 --> 00:18:26,154
[Chuckles]
That was so fun.
442
00:18:28,090 --> 00:18:31,259
I remember thinking
to myself,
443
00:18:31,293 --> 00:18:34,896
this is insane, you know?
444
00:18:34,930 --> 00:18:39,067
I barely know this guy,
but I love him.
445
00:18:39,101 --> 00:18:40,768
Yeah, me too.
446
00:18:40,803 --> 00:18:44,372
Will, um...
447
00:18:44,406 --> 00:18:46,341
I think I should fly back
to New York
448
00:18:46,375 --> 00:18:48,443
and I think that you should
drive this truck
449
00:18:48,477 --> 00:18:50,812
- back to San Francisco.
- What?
450
00:18:53,482 --> 00:18:55,416
I don't think this is
what you really want.
451
00:18:55,451 --> 00:18:57,752
It is what I want.
Look at me.
452
00:18:57,786 --> 00:18:59,821
I want you.
453
00:19:02,925 --> 00:19:05,593
Your toast last night...
454
00:19:05,627 --> 00:19:07,595
It was so beautiful.
455
00:19:07,629 --> 00:19:10,498
You said that those people...
456
00:19:10,532 --> 00:19:14,435
They're not your friends.
They're your family.
457
00:19:14,470 --> 00:19:17,138
That is your life.
458
00:19:17,172 --> 00:19:18,373
No.
459
00:19:18,407 --> 00:19:21,576
No, this is because I said
that stupid thing
460
00:19:21,610 --> 00:19:24,112
about having... needing friends
in New York.
461
00:19:24,146 --> 00:19:25,813
- No...
- Who cares?
462
00:19:25,848 --> 00:19:27,982
I don't need friends,
and if I do, I can make 'em.
463
00:19:28,017 --> 00:19:29,851
I love you.
That's it.
464
00:19:29,885 --> 00:19:32,220
That's all that matters.
465
00:19:32,254 --> 00:19:34,722
I love you too.
466
00:19:34,757 --> 00:19:37,292
Fiercely, I love you.
[Sniffles]
467
00:19:37,326 --> 00:19:39,927
But I won't take you away from
where you're supposed to be.
468
00:19:39,962 --> 00:19:43,264
I just... I can't do that.
469
00:19:43,298 --> 00:19:45,066
I just can't.
470
00:19:51,340 --> 00:19:53,875
goodnight
471
00:19:53,909 --> 00:19:54,909
I...
472
00:19:54,943 --> 00:19:57,712
Another bad morning
473
00:20:01,250 --> 00:20:04,118
goodnight
474
00:20:04,153 --> 00:20:07,488
another bad morning
475
00:20:11,427 --> 00:20:14,495
goodnight
476
00:20:14,530 --> 00:20:17,332
another bad morning
477
00:20:21,370 --> 00:20:24,572
goodnight
478
00:20:24,606 --> 00:20:27,775
another bad morning
479
00:20:27,803 --> 00:20:30,564
Sync and corrections by madhatters
www.addic7ed.com
480
00:20:30,613 --> 00:20:33,047
Oh, gross!
Ugh.
481
00:20:34,416 --> 00:20:38,252
Uh... I'm back, for good,
and I would appreciate
482
00:20:38,287 --> 00:20:40,822
if someone would clean up
this vomitous stench.
483
00:20:40,856 --> 00:20:43,491
I'll get right on it,
Will.
484
00:20:45,594 --> 00:20:50,665
- You all right?
- Well, I've been better.
485
00:20:50,699 --> 00:20:53,835
Welcome home.
486
00:20:53,869 --> 00:20:56,104
Hey, this door isn't
gonna fix itself.
487
00:20:56,138 --> 00:20:57,805
Oh, bloody hell.
488
00:20:57,840 --> 00:21:00,008
- [Liquid pattering]
- [Groans] Uhh...
489
00:21:00,042 --> 00:21:02,443
Uh-uh-uh-ohh!
490
00:21:02,493 --> 00:21:07,043
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