All language subtitles for About a Boy s01e06 About a Buble.eng

Oh-ho!

Who's that guy with the spring in his step?

It's me, Will.

Probably don't recognize me with my key,

my own key.

So the mom is finally
loosening the old noose, huh?

Her new job has forced the issue.

- She has to stay late.
- Oh, cool.

What are you gonna do with
your newfound independence?

You gonna rock and roll all night?

Kiss? No?

Yeah, probably beyond
your frame of reference.

I am not taking this
responsibility lightly, Will.

Freedom can not be bestowed.
It must be achieved.

Elbert Hubbard? Writer, philosopher?

It's probably beyond
your frame of reference.

Well, could elbert Hubbard do this?

Ow.

Yes! Ha ha!

- [Dog barks on television]
- Cartoons.

Mwah!

-
Just watch me now

[Telephone ringing]

Morganics Toy company,
where nature meets nurture.

Hello, mother. I have arrived home safely.

Oh, thank God.

You didn't have any
trouble getting in, did you?

- Nope.
- You gonna make yourself

a nice, healthy snack now, are you?

Um, I was just grabbing
a vitamin C packed orange.

I know how you struggle
getting the peel started.

- Do you want me to come home?
- No, you just focus on work.

I'll just... I'll...

I'll clean up when I'm done,

and I'll fold the laundry in the basket.

You're such a dear, sweetheart.

[Grunts] How about there?

[Glass shatters] Is that better?

- Works for me.
- [Chuckles angrily]

If you weren't my wife, I'd fire you.

Oh, if it weren't for
prison, I would kill you.

Ha!

Darling, something's happening here.

It isn't very nurturing or very natural.

I'm gonna have to go.

I just want to say one
thing to you, darling.

Leaving you by yourself every day,

it's not that easy for me.

It just... it means a lot
that I can focus on my work

without worrying that it's causing you

any lasting psychological trauma.

I'm so proud of you.

You're such a sweet,
self-reliant, lovely little man,

and I love you.

Go rock that office manager's job.

Bye.

Will!

[Siren wailing]

Knife in the foot! Knife in the foot!

Hey, hey, hey. Hey, hey, hey.

Valid form of I.D. And insurance.

- Do you not see?
- Yes, I do.

Valid form of I.D. and insurance.

He's losing feeling! He's losing feeling!

We got a runner.

- [Squeals]
- Oh, no!

I need a doctor! Help! Help!

I need a doctor! Oh, good.

Hi.

Excuse me.

Uh-oh. What do we have here?

- I'm Will.
- [Chuckles]

How you doing, buddy?

- Any numbness?
- A little.

[Clears throat]

- Little bit.
- [Chuckles]

Here we go.

[Brett Dennen's Comeback
Kid (That's my dog)]

[Cheers and applause]

You know, it's a good thing

that your dad was home when this happened.

Oh, no, no, no, not a dad. I'm
just a concerned neighbor...

concerned single neighbor.

Then it's a good thing
that your neighbor was home.

Well, Will's always home.

Gives us plenty of time
to bro down and hang

and see what kind of justice
judge Judy's gonna hammer out.

Good kid.

So what is it exactly you do, Will,

that allows you all
this time to "bro down"?

Well, he's a songwriter,
a really popular one.

Oh, Marcus, take it easy, all right?

Beautiful women don't like to hear

about how popular guys are

or the fact that they have 12% body fat.

You're really a songwriter?

Oh, you're just gonna blow
over the whole body-fat thing.

Have you written anything that I know?

You totally would. Have
you ever heard of...

Shh, shh, Marcus, Marcus.

You're losing blood, man, when you talk.

- Mm-hmm.
- Dr. Lake?

They need you for a minute in room four.

Be right back.

Whoop.

Marcus, we never talk about Runaway Sleigh.

Was it a hit song? Yes.

Did it make me a lot of money? A ton.

But it's not really how I want
to be seen as a songwriter.

- Why not?
- It's not cool, man.

And I really want Dr. Smoke Show

to, uh... to think of me as cool.

- Sorry about that.
- Yeah. No.

[Clears throat]

So, uh, who have you written for?

Only some of today's coolest artists.

- Marcus.
- Like who?

Have you ever heard of Michael Bubl??

Seriously? Michael Bubl??

- I have Bubl?'d.
- Never really been a fan.

[Door opens]

[Gasps] Oh, my God.

Doctor, is he going to walk again?

- Yes.
- Does he need a blood transfusion?

Because I have the same blood type as him.

- Mom.
- Mummy has the blood.

- The nurse will be right in.
- Shh, darling, hold me.

- Let me heal you. Shh.
- Mo-mom!

We're gonna pick up some
herbs on the way home,

and we're gonna burn that shoe
in a sacred ceremony of healing.

Excuse me, Dr. Lake?
Do you have a quick sec?

I have the first wave of
a multi-casualty incident

arriving in three minutes.

I would say that we got a
nice little time crunch here.

Wow. You're an incredibly fast Walker.

High-school track, all-state.

Oh, really? I played
baseball... all-county.

But it was a very big county.

I'm not gonna have sex with you.

- Uh, w-what?
- I'm sorry.

I get incredibly blunt when I'm tired.

I'm just coming off a double,

and the coffee here tastes
like roasted goat hoof.

I made that coffee you just insulted.

Sorry, Bev. You know I have

that "inappropriately
blunt when tired" thing.

I love you. Not the coffee, but you.

- Where were we?
- Sex with me.

Oh, yeah, that's not gonna happen.

Look, you're incredibly tall,

and you have an unusually
fluffy head of hair,

which, I'm not gonna lie, turns me on.

And your man pecs are like Greek art.

You really are blunt when you're tired.

I kind of want to keep
you awake for 12 hours

to see how deep, you know,
this rabbit hole goes.

- I'm an emergency-room doctor.
- Mm-hmm.

You know, I don't have
time right now for man pecs

unless they're impaled with some sort

of blunt-force instrument.

Yeah, it was nice meeting you, Will.

- Hey, Will?
- Yes?

Please make sure that Marcus

keeps his stitches clean and dry.

Right. Clean and dry.

Who's Marcus?

She says the hospital coffee
tastes like goat hooves.

Hoof, goat hoof.

Like the singular of goat hooves.

I mean, it was the cutest thing ever.

What's cute about "goat hoof"?

Nothing the way you say it.

[Sighs] You and an E.R. doctor.

What is wrong with me and an E.R. doctor?

This woman has brains.

She has a PhD in seeing
through your bullcrap.

There was a definite spark, okay?

She's just too busy for
a relationship right now.

She blew you off. Total blow-off. Andy?

- Well, it might be...
- Women like her don't date guys

who lay around playing video games all day

and lie about writing
songs for Michael Bubl?.

I didn't lie.

Marcus did. I just confirmed it.

Why don't you just go back

to the hospital and tell her the truth?

The truth? That I wrote a
Christmas song eight years ago

and haven't written anything since?

Honestly, Andy, you'd have
a better chance with her.

Andy's taken. I will kill you if you stray.

- I will kill you.
- Women crave honesty, Will.

We do.

God, I'm so proud of how
you're starting to evolve.

- Thanks.
- Truth.

The truth.

Wow, man. I'm really
blowing my mind right now.

I'm on the gravel. I'm on the walkway...

Walking down the walkway,
going up the stairs.

All right, mother, I'm
safely on our property.

Can I sign off now?

[Sighs]

You look tired, darling.
Is everything okay?

Hello! Surprise.

It's your mummy.

[Chuckles]

I figured out a way for us
to be together all the time.

- Isn't that great?
- It's...

It's just great.

And I left you some precut
orange wedges right there.

You don't have to cut anything.

I hid all the knives anyway. [Laughs]

Don't look for them.

[Sighs]

I told him he couldn't stay here,

but then he said he loved my coffee.

You are too easy.

It's 2:00 in the morning.
What are you doing here?

I wanted to talk to you
about the Michael Bubl? thing.

- I, um...
- Yeah.

Look, I apologize. I was rude.

Um...

But the fact that you write for somebody

who connects with that many people,

it's really impressive.

Okay, but here's the thing.

I mean, maybe, you know,
Bubl? isn't exactly my taste,

but, I mean, you're a
professional songwriter.

It's not like you're writing
jingles for dog-food ads

or some one-hit wonder or something.

You know, you're a working professional...

The real deal.

It's very cool.

So did you come here to play me something?

You know, it can wait.

I just... I'm not really feeling
the acoustics of this room.

It feels flat to me.

- Come on, play me something.
- It's late.

There are people sleeping. I don't know.

There's only room 6, and
she's knocked out, so...

Something that you've
written, maybe not Bubl?.

[Chuckles] Okay.

Let's see here. Um...

- No Bubl?.
- No.

- Okay.
- Mm-hmm.

- I love that song.
- You know that song?

I totally know that song. It's Rivvers.

You know Rivvers? Nobody knows Rivvers.

I love Rivvers. They used to be...

River Shiver.

That's like knowing Beck before...

- Beck was Beck.
- It's the work of genius.

You mean the work of your genius.

Right.

I mean, I think the thing is, like,

I give them the words,
and they kind of, you know,

do their thing with it, so it's...

Oh, I feel like we just had
15 minutes of intense foreplay.

[Clears throat] [Chuckles]

God, I need to work on this blunt thing.

Do you want to grab a
bite with me, Dr. Lake?

I definitely want to grab a bite with you.

- And it's Sam.
- Okay, Sam.

Oh, and I'm a huge sports fan...

Niners, not Raiders, "A"s, not Giants,

which, by the way, are total deal breakers.

I will not exchange bodily fluids

with a Raiders fan under
any condition whatsoever.

- Wow.
- What?

You are incredible.

Hey, you got a little...

Mustard.

What about now?

[Laughs] Nope.

Yeah.

What about you?

I like to ambush women
at their place of work...

Mm-hmm.

Buy them fast-food burgers
at late-night drive-throughs,

and then bring them to dimly lit city parks

and endanger their safety.

[Laughs]

You think any of those
paddleboats are unlocked?

[Both laughing]

Uh, um, 2%... whole milk.

- Yes.
- Oh, my God.

- So good.
- Okay, okay.

I got another one. All right.

Here we go. Favorite John Hughes movie?

- No brainer. Breakfast Club.
- Yes.

Seriously, the first time I saw that movie,

I practiced the whole

"Molly Ringwald lipstick
between the boobs" thing

for, like, a week.

I really like thinking about that.

- [Laughs]
- Oh, my God.

My friend Andy told me

that's the hill that if you climb,

that's the best view of the city.

Want to go up?

I kind of like the view right here.

[Acoustic indie rock]

You in the red boat,
put your hands in the air

and your feet off the pedals, now.

- It's the paddleboat police.
- What do we do? What do we do?

Take your feet off the pedals.

I'm not going to paddleboat jail.

Paddle! Paddle, paddle, paddle.

Get your feet off the pedals.

- Go! He's gaining!
- He's gaining!

Whoo!

Eat our wake! [Laughs]

"Will's perfect girl."

I can't believe you've had
this since you were ten.

- I'm making a point here. Read.
- "Number one... no braces."

- I assume that's a gimme.
- Check.

"Number two... looks like Christie Brinkley

"or Kelly Lebrock

or a combination of their best parts."

- What, no Elle MacPherson?
- Oh, turn the page.

Mm?

- Oh.
- Ah.

Okay.

"Number three... has boobs."

Check, but let's move down the list.

"Loves the "A"s, not the Giants"?

Check, and likes the Niners,
not the Raiders, check.

- Really?
- Honestly, man.

If you look at the whole thing,

she checks off every
single thing on the list.

- She's perfect.
- Wow.

Okay, you really like this girl.

I mean, she's amazing.
Really, she's amazing.

That's fantastic.

Honestly, it's terrifying, dude.

My life is perfect as it is, right?

I have freedom. I have fun. I have money.

And, yes, like, eventually,

I want to settle down
and have someone that,

you know, I care about,

but, like, why would I want to
complicate my life with... with...

- Love.
- Do not use that word.

- It's love.
- It's so early.

What are you talking about?

Come on, then what is it,
then, if it's not love?

She's just different.

Will, we need to talk.

Where did you come from?

- The wall. Get over it.
- Not now, Marcus.

I'm in the middle of an
existential crisis here.

I'm having an existential crisis of my own.

Wait. Do you even know
what "existential" means?

Does Will?

I am a captive in my own house, Will.

I went from limited freedom
to complete lockdown,

all because of one self-stabbing.

Marcus, if you want your mother

to think that you're mature,

you got to tell her how you feel.

You got to say, like, you know, that...

that she's in... that she's incredible,

I mean, that you never felt this way

about anyone before, ever.

He's not talking about your mom anymore.

Thank you, captain obvious.

So how's my favorite patient doing?

- I'm...
- He's a bit constipated.

Probably unrelated, but you're the doctor.

- [Cell phone ringing]
- Hold on.

Morganic Toys, where nature meets nurture.

Um, hold on.

I'm afraid my injury

has sent her into a
working-mother guilt spiral

that has manifested itself

into a state of overprotectiveness.

Sounds rough. So, um, how is Will doing?

Just as amazing as every other day.

He is pretty great, isn't he?

Wait, wait. Who's great? Who's great?

Will.

It's like when we were dreaming
who we would live next to,

we didn't know to dream this big.

Yeah, I hear you.

You know, you're really
lucky that he was home.

Must have been pretty scary

being home alone with a knife in your foot.

[Sarcastically] Oh,
yeah, we're really lucky

that Will lives next door to
us doing nothing all day long

while some of us have to work for a living.

I would think he'd be pretty busy

writing songs for
Michael Bubl? and Rivvers.

Is Will writing music again?

Oh, my God. Blimey.

He hasn't had a job for years.

I just thought he was lazy.

[Bruno Mars' Treasure]

Hi... holy smoke, you look good.

- Come on in.
- Hi.

- It's good to see you.
- [Exhales deeply]

Cheers.

I can't believe that this
sheet music is something

that Rivvers might be singing one day.

- It's pretty unbelievable.
- Will you play me something?

This Chinese, uh, gets cold real quickly.

It's not like other Chinese foods.

Listen, today I removed a screwdriver

from a 300-pound man.

- I'm not saying from where.
- [Chuckles]

I'm just saying I deserve
a little joy in my life.

Joy.

Yeah.

Sure thing.

You know, I don't normally
like to show people anything

until it's done, you know, so...

I promise not to judge...

Unless, of course, it's really bad.

[Chuckles]

All right.

[Plays piano key]

A little intro action.

- [Mid-tempo beat playing]
- And this stays like this.

You kind of got to imagine it right at...

- [Rapid beat playing]
- This point.

You know, you're gonna get a urban v-v-v.

That part, I-I'll...
still working on that.

But here we go.

[Playing mellow tune]

Seriously?

- Are you even a songwriter?
- [Chuckles]

Have you been lying to me, Will?

Great.

[Plays off-key chord] Sam, wait.

I've never written for
Rivvers or Bubl?, okay?

But I really am a songwriter.

I'm not currently writing
anything, per se, now, but...

Goodbye, Will.

[Door slams]

[Exhales]

Oh, hey, Will, are you grilling?

If you are, I wouldn't say no to a burger.

I'm not grilling, Marcus.

I'm metaphorically burning
my hopes and dreams.

Is there room for a burger?

I can't be outside of my Skype radius

for more than three minutes,
though, so make it quick.

Marcus, you know you
can't live like this, man.

Neither can you.

Don't give up on trying
to find the perfect girl.

I'm not giving up on
finding the perfect girl.

I found her.

It's just... I'm not the perfect guy.

Do you get it?

You're perfect to me.

Thank you, Marcus. That means...

Well, nothing, really,

but it was really nice of you to say.

Will, hang on.

Part of what makes you perfect to me

is that you've let me see the real you.

You're totally flawed...
kind of a mess, really...

but we all are one way or another.

If this is really the perfect girl,

she'll love you, flaws and all.

You know, Marcus, I think
you're more of an adult

than you or your mom realize.

Oh, good boy.

Good boy, doing your homework.

[Gasps] It's on a loop!

- Fiona?
- We need you to park these.

It's on a loop. I'm terribly sorry,

but I'm gonna have to
step out for a minute.

Another emergency?

Like when your son "stabbed" himself?

Fiona, this is becoming untenable.

We need you.

No, my little boy needs me more.

No, he does not.

You took him out of the house unauthorized.

And this whole computer stunt...

that was all you as well, wasn't it?

Let's just dial back
the crazy a little bit.

- I'm just his ride.
- Listen, mom...

We need to talk.

- Okay.
- [Sighs]

I wish we could spend every single second

of every single day together,

but it's just not realistic.

Or normal.

Since you started working more hours,

I've been having a lot of guilt.

I know your head is home with me

when it should be here at work.

No, no, darling, that's not true.

- It's totally true.
- It is, very much so.

Well, maybe it's a bit true.

So, I mean, is it a crime to want to spend

all my time with my little baby?

I'm not your little baby anymore.

I'm your prepubescent tween.

I know you are. I just...
I love you so much.

And I'm sorry that I hold on so tight.

[Straining] I love you, mom...

Flaws and all.

- There you go.
- Oh, lover boy is here.

And I don't think he's here for my coffee.

You are correct, Bev.

I have something I need to say to Sam.

I am a songwriter, okay?

I wrote a famous Christmas song.

Ooh, I'm gonna Google that.

I wrote it eight years ago,

and I haven't written anything since.

There's a million excuses why,

but the real reason I
haven't written anything

is that I'm just... I'm scared

that, um... that I'll fail

and that I'm not good.

Hi. How you doing?

I'll be with you in one minute.

- Hmm.
- Anyway...

I just wanted you to know that,

'cause I really haven't told
anyone that before except you

and all these drunk,
sickly, and injured people.

Um, Sam, I like you.

I like you a lot, and I hope
you'll give me another chance.

Oh, and you wanted me to
sing you a song that I wrote.

He wrote this song.

All:
won't you ride

Blue team to I.C.U.
Please. Blue team, I.C.U.

That's for you. You have an emergency.

Okay.

All:
won't you ride

Yeah!

[Cheers and applause]

- Whoo!
- Whoo-hoo!

[Retching]

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