All language subtitles for King of the Hill s04e24 Peggys Fan Fair.eng

[SOMBER INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC]

[SIGHING]

I have done it, Hank!
I have finally done it.

I have gotten someone
to respond to my letter.

You see, Peggy?

You just needed to find a pen pal
with as much free time as you have.

No. I sent song lyrics
to every major country music star,

and I finally got this
from Mr. Randy Travis.

Randy Travis?

[EXHALES EXCITEDLY]

"Dear song writer,
we regret to inform you," blah, blah,

"legal reasons" blah, blah,
"never read it" blah, blah. Okay.

"Once again, good luck
with your songwriting career.

Signed, Rob Readers
of the law firm Readers and Anatole."

Kind of sounds to me like Randy Travis'
lawyer sent you a rejection letter.

Oh, Hank, they have to say that.

Travis loved my lyrics.

He called me a songwriter.

He said I have a career in front of me,
and you know what?

He is right.

[MAN WHOOPS]

[THEME SONG]

We've had many great suggestions
for our church bus trip this year.

And we decided to go

to Country Music Fan Fair
in Nashville, Tennessee.

I win! That was my suggestion.

Thank you, Assistant Pastor Rayburn.

For those of you who don't know,
I am Peggy Hill.

And Fan Fair is a four-day festival

where we will get to meet
our favorite country music stars,

including my friend Randy Travis.

Okay, may God look upon you
with kindness, and give you peace.

Amen. You are now dismissed.

[CHURCH ORGAN PLAYING]

Connie, I'm gonna
miss you so much.

I got you this phone card at the mall.

It's good for 10 minutes
and has Tony Danza's picture on it.

Connie, my girl, Buddha broke the mold
when he made you.

PEGGY: Okay, people!
Two-minute warning.

Please see me for your seat assignments
before you get on the bus.

RAYBURN: I was planning to let people sit
wherever they wanted.

- RAYBURN: Like church.
- PEGGY: Church is not a field trip.

As a substitute educator, I know
field trips, and as a country songwriter,

- I also know Nashville.
- Oh, Peggy,

I'm the assistant pastor
of this congregation,

and I did go to divinity school
in Nashville

where I wrote a hymn or two.

But you did not get a letter
from Randy Travis. And I did.

On the bus!

[PEOPLE CHATTERING]

Good morning,
fan fairers and fan fairees.

PEGGY: I will be calling out
various highlights

of our 14-hour trip to Nashville.

Our first stop will be the
world's largest fiberglass raven,

which is also the largest raven
I have ever seen.

Congratulations to Eustace Miller,
who came closest with a guess of 61.

The number I was thinking of was 64.

Yes!

Hank, is she gonna play camp counselor

through the entire state of Arkansas?

Come on, Dale!
She's just having fun.

Think of another number, Peggy.

[SOLEMN INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC]

Hello, Mr. Souphanousinphone.
Is Connie there?

Connie, she's not here. She's...

Where is she?

If Connie want to go swimming
all afternoon with Chane Usonasong,

that her business.
Enjoy your hillbilly festival.

TONY [ON PHONE]:
Hey, this is Tony Danza.

You've got eight minutes left.

PEGGY: On behalf of Fan Fair, let me be
the first to welcome you

with a little song,
written by Peggy Hill.

[SINGING]
? Fan Fair can be fun fair ?

? But if you don't wait your turn in line ?

? Well, that's unfair ?

PEGGY:
Thank you.

Dinner's ready!
I hope you brought your appetites.

We are having
spa-Peggy and meatballs.

Did she say "spa-Peggy"?

Well, "spa-Peggy"
is a lot like spaghetti.

I'm not sure what Peggy does different.
If anything.

HANK: But it's the one dish
she's kind of made her own.

[COUNTRY MUSIC PLAYING]

Hi there, cowboy.
Now, who's this pretty gal? Your wife?

[BOTH GUFFAW]

We're not married.
We're just sharing a tent.

And we're cousins.

Can you just sign our books
and we'll be on our way?

- What's the trouble, bubble?
- I think my girlfriend left me.

Ladies and gentlemen,
it's gonna be just a little while.

We got a situation here.

DUNN: So every time you call,
Mr. Superphone tells you

that Connie's out
with this Chane fellow?

He said, for the first time in her life,
Connie's actually happy.

It sounds like her daddy is using
his Chane to yank your chain.

Kix is right. I got a
teenage daughter at home,

and when her boyfriend calls,
I say she's out with Brad Pitt!

[EXCLAIMS EXCITEDLY]

I love Brad Pitt.

- Your daughter is so lucky.
- No, Luanne, don't you get it?

Connie and I are back together.

Look, it's really him.

It's Randy Travis,
just like on the album cover.

Take a picture of me
giving him my lyrics.

Someday my fans will want
to remember this moment. Wait.

Oh!

[COUNTRY MUSIC PLAYING ON STEREO]

[EXCLAIMS IN DISBELIEF]

I'll take my sandwich now.

[SHUSHING]

[GASPS]

You know, there is a line here.

[GRUNTS]

- What the--
- You stole my song!

[DRAMATIC INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC]

No, you don't understand.
I am not the bad guy.

Hank, will you say something?

Why did you punch Randy Travis?

This Is Just The Way God Made Me.
I wrote that.

TERI: Excuse me, fellows.
Hold up a second.

I'm Mr. Travis's manager.
Randy would like to speak to the lady.

...and we completely understand if
you don't want to give us an autograph.

I have proof of your thievery.

You said I had
a promising songwriting career.

Now, how do you plead?

I don't plead anything, ma'am.
I never saw your song.

This is a form letter
from my guard-dog lawyers.

RANDY: If I had a dime
for every song a fan sent me,

I'd be Dolly Parton rich.

HANK: Well, that explains it.
Thank you.

PEGGY:
Not to me it does not.

You think this is the first time two
songwriters came up with similar lyrics?

Stand By Your Man, Tammy Wynette.

Understand Your Man, Johnny Cash.

Do you see a pattern here?

Yes, but This Is Just The Way God
Made Me is uniquely Peggy Hill.

You see, I grew up in Montana,
and I had very big feet.

I still do.

And when other kids
would make fun of me,

my grandma told me to tell them:

"This is just the way God made me."

And today I am able to pass that wisdom
on to my students.

You see, I am a Boggle champion
and a substitute teacher--

Good for you. Teaching is important.
Hank, what do you do for a living?

I sell propane and
propane accessories.

Propane salesman! Now, that's something
that would make a good song.

- I have been saying that for years.
- Me, too.

[SOMBER INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC]

Bobby, I put out two of your mom's
Apple Brown Bettys.

Now, I'm no mathematician,
but there's only one here now.

Did you eat the other one?

I can see how you might jump
to that conclusion...

given last night's cupcake incident.

And, yes, I did take
the Apple Brown Betty,

but it's for Brooks and Dunn,
to thank them for easing my pain.

PEGGY:
Dinner!

RAYBURN: Lord, thank you for the food
we're about to eat,

for the quick-moving line
at the Sawyer Brown booth,

for the calm skies--

And please, God, please punish
Randy Travis for stealing my song.

ALL:
Amen.

[COUNTRY MUSIC PLAYING]

[CROWD CHEERING]

And Miss Faith Hill
strained her vocal cords

cheering on her team
at the celebrity softball game.

Her team still lost,
thanks to a costly error by Garth Brooks.

[CROWD BOOING]

As pretty as Faith is,
we've got someone almost as pretty.

Mr. Randy Travis.

[CROWD CHEERING]

I'm surprised Randy Travis isn't still
at the game stealing bases.

Come on, Peggy.
This is our vacation.

Can't we just have a good time?

You can have
whatever kind of time you like.

I am gonna sit here and boo.

Would a couple of beers
help the situation?

Boo! Boo!

Sure would help me.

[COUNTRY MUSIC PLAYING]

[HORSE NEIGHS]

Careful where you step, Lisa.

That John Michael Montgomery's been
riding that horse of his around here.

Dadgum it, John Michael!

Clint, I don't want a
horse for my birthday.

You got it, honey.

BOBBY: Ideally, I would've
got Brooks and Dunn

matching Fan Fair water bottles,
but I didn't have $40.

This Brown Betty was priced to move.

[EXCLAIMS]

LUANNE: Let's stuff it back in the pan.
Nobody will know the difference.

[HORSE NEIGHS]

CHARLIE: Excuse me, partner.
You mind if I step in front of you?

Well, I've been waiting...
My God! You're Charlie Daniels.

Mr. Daniels, I'm a huge fan.

It would be an honor
to let you cut in front of me.

Well, I appreciate it.
I tell you what.

Why don't you let me
get you something, too?

- What are you drinking?
- An Alamo, please.

Let me have a Coke with no ice
and an Alamo for my new friend here.

That'll be $4, Slim.

[WHISTLING]

[CHEERING]

Thank you very much.
You're very kind.

Hey, this next one's got
a little story behind it.

When I was a kid, you see,
I spent a lot of time in Montana.

Cold winters up there.

When I was nine or ten, my feet
were growing faster than the rest of me.

- What?
- I mean, I had big feet.

We're talking like Bozo size, folks.

When the other kids would make fun
of them, you see, my dad,

who, I might add,
was a substitute school teacher,

told me, "You tell them,
'This is just the way God made me.'"

[CROWD CHEERING]

- But that's my story!
- Two, three, four.

[BAND PLAYING COUNTRY MUSIC]

? I have a Boggle trophy ?

? On my bedroom shelf ?

Hank! Hank!

BOBBY: So I called
and Connie's dad answered.

I disguised my voice and said I was

from Who's Who in
American Middle School Students.

- He put me right through.
- That only works once.

And thanks for the Brown Betty.

Thanks for Boot Scootin' Boogie.

All right. Let's dig into that Apple Betty.

Hey, get your own.
The boy gave it to me.

It was meant for both of us.

Well, you kept the sweater
that girl from Syracuse gave us.

How do I share a sweater, Kix?
You want me to rip it in half?

This is good pie.

[EXCLAIMS IN DISGUST]

Hank, where were you?
Travis told my story.

He said that it happened to him.
He stole Boggle, he stole Montana,

he stole my big feet.

[SHUSHING]

Who said that?
Who said that?

All right. Let's go outside.

I cannot believe you
are siding with Travis.

I am your wife!

Look, I believe you believe
you wrote that song.

And I believe you believe
he stole your story.

- But that doesn't make it true.
- So, I'm a liar?

Why would I make this up, Hank?

HANK: Well, Peggy, you've got a pretty
high opinion of yourself and I--

Then I should have a low opinion
of myself?

- PEGGY: Is that what you're saying?
- HANK: No, not at all.

It's just that you've done
so much in your life,

you don't need to take credit
for things you haven't done.

Like writing that song and,
you know, the other stuff.

What other stuff?

HANK:
Well, like dinner.

I mean, I think it's cute that you call it
spa-Peggy and meatballs,

but you know, it's just noodles
and tomato sauce and balls of meat.

But then I add just the right amount
of sugar and grated Parmesano cheese.

Okay. When we were setting up camp,

you said that in your opinion,

kindling is the best wood to start a fire.

Well, isn't it, Hank?

Of course it is,
but it's not your opinion.

It's a known fact.
And now you say

Randy Travis has taken your childhood
and is calling it his own.

It's getting crazy.

[GASPING]
So, now I'm crazy?

- Well, gray area.
- I told you the truth, Hank.

If I am lying,
may God strike me down right now.

Ha!

[SIGHS RESIGNEDLY]

This is Mockingbird calling The Sparrow.

BILL [ON PHONE]: Hi, Dale.
DALE: Use code names, Bill.

- I'm Mockingbird.
- Sorry, Dale.

Hey, Pegwin. Where's the Big Bird?

Hank and I are spending the rest of the
Fan Fair apart because of Randy Travis.

He took me back to his trailer
and lied to my face.

- I'd like to spit on that trailer.
- What would that solve?

We ought to wrap the trailer
in toilet paper.

I think I have some left over
from the Billy Ray Cyrus job.

Yes, I like that. I like that a lot.

HANK: All right, just one more.
Then I've got to go find Peggy.

Everybody smile.

You're not smiling, Mr. Brooks.

[BROOKS RETCHING]

[BILL GRUNTS]

PEGGY:
Mockingbird, this is The Pegwin.

We are at 50% tissue coverage.
Morale is high.

- PEGGY: How's Travis?
- DALE: Contained.

DALE: I will secure an autograph
made out to all of us.

- DALE: It will be our alibi. Out.
- PEGGY: Okay, Bill, throw it.

- Throw it back over.
- I did a minute ago.

It should have landed by now.

PEGGY:
Boomhauer, give me a boost.

BILL:
It's okay. I'll get it.

BILL:
Do you see it?

[BILL SCREAMS]

[PEGGY SHRIEKS]

[GASPS]

[PEGGY PANTING]

[GRUNTING]

Well, it never would have happened
if he hadn't stolen my song.

[DRAMATIC INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC]

Hey! Somebody help.

Get me out of here!

Get... Help me get out!

PEGGY:
And remember, not one word.

As I like to say,
"What is done is done."

Peggy, where have you been?

We dumped Randy Travis' trailer
in the lake.

- You what?
- He stole Peggy's song.

[DALE SNICKERS]

Look at handsome Randy Travis.

I'd like to see his chiseled face
when he goes back to that trailer.

Where are you looking, Dale?
Randy Travis' booth is empty.

[DALE GRUNTS IN DISSENT]

I got his autograph. It's our alibi.

This says,
"Best regards, The Oak Ridge Boys."

Isn't he the one with the beard?

RANDY:
My door is locked. I can't get out.

[TENSE INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC]

HANK:
Oh, God!

Please be okay.
Please be okay.

DALE: Why would he toilet-paper and then
drive his own trailer into the lake?

Puzzling.

[PEOPLE CHATTERING]

[TENSE INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC]

PEGGY:
Hank, what is taking so long?

[HANK GASPS]

[EPIC INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC]

I was taking a nap. The trailer
must have come off the blocks.

Next year I'm gonna hire somebody
to set it up.

Hank, I am so sorry.

[SOLEMN INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC]

[HANK SIGHS]

HANK: Peggy said it was an accident,
but I don't know.

HANK: She thinks Randy Travis
stole her song lyrics,

and maybe that sent
her over the edge.

Hank, Rev. Schuller once delivered
a sermon

that came straight
from my Christmas card.

But I didn't throw a rock
through the Crystal Cathedral.

Well, I might have made things worse.

I said some awful things to her,
Pastor Larry.

I told her she's not as great
as she thinks she is.

Better she hears it
from someone she loves.

Maybe she did try to
drown Randy Travis.

No, what am I saying?
She'd have to be crazy.

But maybe the fact that her husband
didn't support her could have...

No, Peggy's not crazy. Right?

[SOMBER INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC]

So, Doc, in your opinion,
had he shared some of the Brown Betty,

- would he have gotten quite this sick?
- Ronnie, please, I'm very ill.

What was in that Brown Betty, anyway?

I don't know.

My mom made it.

Aunt Peggy, what are you doing here?

Randy Travis is gonna bring Uncle Hank
up on stage any minute

to thank him for saving his life.

Well, Hank doesn't want me anywhere
near the final jam concert.

He said he was afraid
I'd take a swing at Faith Hill

for stealing our last name.

[CROWD CHEERING]

MC:
One more time for Martina McBride!

MARTINA: Thank you.
This next act has been featured

on the cover of over
20 million boxes of Corn Flakes.

Ladies and gentlemen, Dunn!

[CROWD CHEERING]

HANK:
"To Hank Hill, love, Wynonna."

Thank you.
I'm gonna hang this in my garage.

- Now, you'll think about what I said?
- I was raised with charcoal.

I'll die with charcoal. So back off!

Mr. Hill, I'm Trooper Larson
with the Tennessee State Police.

We received a tip that your wife, Peggy,
might try to harm Mr. Randy Travis.

A tip? Who told you that?

- I did.
- What?

- You can't do that.
- I'm sorry, Hank.

Your wife's nuts.
She's a threat to others.

We don't know that.

Nobody can really replace Kix Brooks.

But would you all mind
if Randy Travis gave it a try?

[CROWD CHEERING]

Mr. Hill, do you know
where your wife is?

- Do you see something, sir?
- There she is. That's Peggy Hill.

- LARSON: Mrs. Hill.
- HANK: Oh, no.

Peggy, I thought we agreed you weren't
gonna come to the final jam concert.

I am here to see Randy Travis.

I have something special to give to him.

LARSON: Ma'am, I'd like you to come
down to the police tent with me.

Well, I'm here to apologize.

Look, I brought him
an Apple Brown Betty.

[SUSPENSEFUL INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC]

- Homemade.
- All right.

You see that? It's just a pie.
No knife, even.

Apple Brown Betty.

Kix Brooks was poisoned by a homemade
Apple Brown Betty fitting this description.

Peggy, what did he do to you?

This is Larson.
I'm gonna need backup.

DALE:
This is Mockingbird. Who's Larson?

Ma'am, place the baked goods
on the table and take a step back, please.

Why are you looking at me like that?

Randy Travis stole my song,
but I am not going to kill him.

I am not crazy.

Well, yeah, Peggy. I mean...

[TITTERS]

- PEGGY: Tell them, Hank.
- LARSON: Let's go.

LARSON: You and your Brown Betty
are coming down to the station.

HANK: Wait. She's not crazy.
I'll just take her home.

No. We have to test the pie.

What if I eat a piece
of this Brown Betty and I'm okay?

Then it'll prove
my wife's telling the truth, right?

PEGGY:
Hank, don't! It's for Randy Travis.

[TENSE INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC]

LARSON: Mr. Hill, don't.
There's already one man in the hospital.

[COUNTRY MUSIC PLAYING]

[GULPS]

Now, that is a good piece of pie.
I tell you what.

They ought to change the name
to Apple Brown Peggy.

No, it's an Apple Brown Betty.

I just add a spoonful of orange juice.

Well, nobody else does that.

[CROWD CHEERING]

And now I'd like to introduce you all
to Hank Hill.

A man who taught me
just how precious life is.

You see,
yesterday my trailer fell in the lake,

and just as I was freeing myself,
I saw this loyal fan

drowning in the water nearby.

And I saved his life.

I want to bring him up to sing with me.
Come on up here, Hank.

- HANK: Well, I'll punch him this time.
- PEGGY: No, what's the use?

RANDY [SINGING]:
? I have a Boggle trophy ?

? On my bedroom shelf ?

? I won it on my own ?

? With help from no one else ?

? Still I know that I'm not perfect ?

? I have a flaw or two ?

? But there's plenty of love here for you ?

? From my head to my size 16 shoe ?

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