All language subtitles for King of the Hill s04e16 Movin on Up.eng

[SLOW INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC]

HANK:
Boy, look at Pops go.

Eighty years old and
he still has the reaction time

to miss the sprinkler heads.

Tony Curtis is 80.

[POPS EXCLAIMING]

Look at him.
Now he's just showboating.

Come on, Pops, let's see those hands
at 10 and two.

BILL:
Mr. Popizito?

[CRASHING]

[SOMBER INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC]

Oh, man. Hey, man.

[THEME MUSIC]

I tell you, it's sad. But at least
he went doing what he loved.

Well, we should all be so lucky.

You know how I wanna go?

Right here in the alley with you guys.

Yeah, it'll probably be my heart,
the way things are going.

Hey, we should rent
that house ourselves.

We could turn it into a clubhouse.

I am currently an official supporter
of the clubhouse idea.

I also reserve the right
to be called "Dash."

- And I'll be "Spike"!
- A clubhouse?

I don't know. Isn't that something you do
when you're in your 30s?

No, man. Come on, Hank.

You know,
that little old DVD player, man.

Coming in on show, just grabbing
in the dang freeze-frame...

Talking about a fridge full of beer,
too, man, you know.

Well, Boomhauer, I tell you,
you ought to be in sales.

All right, I'm in.

Welcome to the clubhouse, Hank.

- What do you want to be called?
- How about "Rudy"?

- How about "Hank"?
- Hank it is, Rudy.

[SLOW COUNTRY INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC]

BOBBY:
You are so late.

You know I like my bath at 9:30
with my onion loaf.

I'm sorry.
The cash register didn't balance,

and it took Gary
20 minutes to confess.

Do you mind if I
just take a quick shower first?

I smell like waitressing.

I'm sorry. My bath is already drawn.

[HANK AND PEGGY GIGGLING]

HANK:
Okay, I'm taking off my boxers.

[LUANNE EXCLAIMS]

HANK:
What the...

- Luanne.
- Oh, my God!

I thought you guys were sleeping.

But you guys weren't sleeping.

Exit the master bedroom right now.

[SIGHS IN EXASPERATION]

Boxers.

HANK: Luanne,
we have rules in this house.

Why are you guys getting so upset?
I didn't see anything.

PEGGY:
You saw your uncle's nipples.

The way I see it,
you are in direct violation of...

four of our rules.

You had it notarized?

No water usage after 10:00 p.m.

9:00 p.m. curfew
on school nights.

Entering the master bedroom
without verbal permission.

And you're barefoot in the kitchen.

Ladybird eats off that floor.

God only has 10 rules, Uncle Hank,

and his house is much bigger.

All right, Dale, for the last time,
I can't turn in this rental application

without your Social Security Number.

Fine.

Five-five-five...

five-five.

- That's not even enough numbers.
- Five.

- Five.
- Okay, I'm leaving your name off.

But you're still responsible
for one-fourth of the rent.

I figure I can pull my extra workbench
out of public storage

and keep it in the clubhouse.
That'll save me a few bucks a month.

I've given it some thought
and I've decided

to start charging Luanne
some rent for living in my den.

See, house right across from me.

They wanna use our clubhouse
as their living quarters.

Hank, we have to do something.

I don't know, Kahn.

The house looks nice,

but the neighborhood
looks a little hillbilly to me.

Hillbilly? I have an idea.
Follow my lead.

Hey, Mr. Kahn,

them some fancy blue jeans
y'all's lady friend is wearing.

They must be city folk.

I just whipped up
a new batch of possum stew

I'd be willing to share with you.

Don't worry. I took off the feet.

- What did he just say?
- All great chefs doing that now.

Wolfgang Puck
cut the feet off of everything.

DALE [SINGING]: ? I got my own fine wife
And I got my own fiddle ?

? Sun's coming up
I got Gribble, Gribble, Gribble ?

? Life ain't nothing
But a funny, funny riddle ?

? Thank God I'm a country boy ?

They just day laborers.

They're putting in my deck.

[ALL LAUGHING]

Our plan worked.

Spike, Rudy, Boomhauer,
let's check out our new clubhouse.

BOOMHAUER:
You talking about everybody

got a dang old nickname
except me, man.

Dang old odd man out, man.

All right, Boomhauer.
What do you wanna be called?

B-dog.

HANK: So, I figure if
we knock down that wall

and build a new wall over there,

that'd be fun.

BILL:
Hey, a refrigerator.

Look, Pop's last beer.

[SENTIMENTAL INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC]

To Pops.

That son of a bitch
had a swimming pool?

- BILL: I thought I heard splashing.
- HANK: How could you not know?

HANK: You lived next door to him
for 18 years.

BILL:
I thought he lived on a lake.

- What lake?
- It was none of my business.

REALTOR: So, you're the ones who
broke my lock box.

Was the open house canceled?

I'm sorry. This house has already been
rented to a lovely college student.

College student?

No college student's gonna have
a credit history like mine.

[DOOR OPENING]

Here are your keys, Miss Platter.
Welcome home.

Luanne?

Young lady, you had better
march right back into Hank's den.

That's your home and that will always
be your home. Right, Hank?

Luanne,
welcome to your new home.

HANK: I'm not gonna be stingy
with the packing tape, Luanne.

You tape away.

LUANNE: It's not that I want to move,
it's just that I hate living here.

- LUANNE: There's just too many rules.
- HANK: Yup.

Way too many rules. Goodbye.

And if I have to pay rent,

I'm not gonna sleep in a den
and share a bathtub

with a 12-year-old boy, okay?

Rent? Excuse me.

Hank, did you pass a new law
while this Hill was not in session?

Just tied up a rental loophole.

The important thing is she's happy.

And I'm not paying for it all alone.

See, this friend of mine
who got kicked out of her apartment,

she had three roommates
who also got kicked out.

And she said I could have them.

I don't know.

I just think that I should move out
before we end up hating each other.

Luanne, we could never hate--

She's making a good point, Peggy.

DALE:
We lost everything so fast.

And Hank did nothing to stop it.

- Like the Swiss.
- How's your precious den?

Visual confirmation.
Roommate number one. Female.

BILL:
Dating a jarhead?

My first choice was the Marines.

But I couldn't do enough sit-ups to be
a Marine Corps barber. Semper fi.

HANK:
Great. We've got a disco dancer.

Anyone can move slow.

[ORIENTAL INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC]

[CAR HORN HONKING]

Hey, guys drinking beer.
You're in my parking spot.

No, I don't think so.

This is where we assemble.
Always has been.

Well, always has been,

Texas Penal Code 49.02,
which prohibits public drunkenness.

What are you talking about?
Nobody's drunk here.

I don't know, Hank.
I'm pretty buzzed.

My lease says this is my space.

[CAR TIRES SCREECHING]

[ALL EXCLAIMING]

Thought so.

Gentlemen, I give you
roommate number three.

I kind of like her.

[SLOW INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC]

[HANK SIGHS]

[MUSIC PLAYING ON RADIO]

[HANK EXHALES]

[HANK EXCLAIMS QUIZZICALLY]

GRIFFIN:
Little help? Thank you.

Now you've got a lawsuit.

The audacity.

I have unplugged your house
from my house.

That's not very neighborly of you.

You know, when it hits a 105 degrees
and you wanna use my pool

and drink my soy shakes,
I'm gonna remember this.

Yeah? Well, there goes your
Welcome Wagon tool set.

You happy?

So, who'd like to meet
my other roommates?

The Manger Babies.

This is
Sir Reginald Featherbottom III and...

I know what you're thinking.

- I perform a Christian puppet show--
- Okay.

We need to go to the grocery store.

I already went to the store,

and Sir Reginald noticed how
expensive food is these days.

There's food?

They're not gonna leave you a scrap,
what, what?

[HANK HUMMING]

HANK: One in the garage,
one in the den.

What you doing?

Nothing.

Just working on my den.

[GRUNTING]

[EXCLAIMING]

I always wanted a clubhouse
with a secret knock.

How about...

No, that's the secret knock
at the gun club.

I don't wanna get confused.

How about this?

You know, part of the reason
I agreed to the clubhouse idea was

that one of the bedrooms over there
was gonna be my private den.

And, well, now that I've got my den.

Our clubhouse.

My den.

DALE:
Yup, that's the official knock.

DALE: It'll hold us
until I can get a retina scanner.

[SLOW INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC]

LUANNE: Hey, guys.
I figured out all the bills.

I used additions and subtractions.

I'm gonna have to
catch up with you later.

I have a bike race coming up,
there's gonna be this chick there

that I dig, I need to get a new shirt
that really sports my abs.

I mean, check it out.

I can't pay right now either.
I'm going to Vegas this weekend.

Okay. Kate?

The phone bill is pretty much
100% yours.

So, anyway, my little sister,
she borrowed my Kangol hat.

Yes, I'm mad.

[TV CLICKS ON]

Listen, when I signed up
for phone service,

I signed a document
that said I would pay on time.

I swore it.

On my mother's maiden name.

You're kind of being a house Nazi
right now, Luanne.

Hello? I thought we agreed
no smoking in the house.

You know who else had
anti-smoking laws? Who was it?

Yeah. Hitler!

Nazi.

[MUSIC PLAYING ON TV]

Luanne.

What's up, girlfriend?

I have not seen you in the longest.

Okay. You guys are finished
with dinner already.

Why? Are you hungry?
Luanne, are you eating?

Do you need money? Get my purse.

No, Aunt Peggy. No.

I'm on my own now and
I don't need help from anyone.

But I am doing a book report
on what people eat for dinner.

So, what did you eat?

Let me fix you a to-go plate.

HANK:
Hey, Luanne. What you got there?

LUANNE:
Nothing. This isn't mine.

It's nice to see Luanne
once in a while.

Knowing she'll be leaving
kind of makes it like a fun game.

PEGGY: There is nothing
funny about starvation...

except for comic relief, of course.

PEGGY: Now, Luanne is very proud
and may not accept our charity,

but she's also very hungry,
so who knows?

Luanne is usually home
from work by now.

[HANK WHOOPING]

BOBBY:
Guys can shave their legs, too?

That's very interesting.

- Peggy!
- Bobby!

Sorry, Dad.

GIRL: Heads up.
Der F�hrer is home from work.

LUANNE: Whose turn is it
to take the trash out?

Don't make me get
out the chore wheel.

Uncle Hank, Aunt Peggy. You're here.

- We brought a casserole for dinner.
- No, I won't hear of it.

LUANNE: I'm on my own now,
and I can make you dinner.

Dinner. I'm on it.

LUANNE:
Crap. Dinner.

Where are the crackers?

Where is my macaroni?

And the cheese?

Where are my stick'ems?

That is it!

Who ate all my food?

Come forward.

I needed a carbo load.

[LUANNE EXCLAIMING]

LUANNE:
Griffin!

We said no shaving in the living room
unless it was an emergency.

[UTTERS NAZI RALLYING VICTORY CRY]

When I think of how many
stupid onion loaves I had to sell

so you people could talk on the phone

and eat my cookies, it makes me so...

[LUANNE GRUNTING ANGRILY]

[SOMBER INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC]

[WHISPERING]
Hank, maybe we should intervene.

You go talk to the German one.

We have rules in this house.

We all agreed to them, people.

I'm counting at least...

Twelve. Twelve violations.

Oh, my God!

I have become you.

I hate myself.

[CRYING]

HANK:
I'm worried about Luanne.

She hates herself because
she's become Bobby?

I mean, what's that all about?

Hank, she was pointing at you.

She's become you,
and that is why she hates herself.

Well, then she's just crazy.

Hank, please talk to her.

I can hear her crying in her room.

Her room? My den.

For all we know,
she could be laughing.

All right.

LUANNE [CRYING]:
Why?

It is very sad to see people
take advantage

of the kindness of others.

- Yes, it is.
- All right.

Bill, Dale, Boomhauer, get out.
Come on.

Spike, Dash, B-dog.

You know, back in your house
when you said:

"I've become you."

LUANNE:
Yeah?

Well, you said it like,
"I've become you."

When, well, you probably could
have said it more like...

- "Hey, I've become you."
- What?

You see, Luanne, a lot of good stuff
happened in the world

when people were like me.

Sure, they'll never write
a Hollywood musical about a fella

who keeps his yard free of debris

and pays his bills on time.

HANK: And the MTV won't
put on a video about a man

who requires shoes in the kitchen.

- But it's because of people like us--
- I'm not like you.

This is just too much for me!

And all the bills,

and they mooch my food,

and they're always on the phone,

and I just can't take it anymore.

I can't stand one more day.

They're wearing my socks,
Uncle Hank.

[GASPING]

Oh, God! I need a paper bag.

Now, take it easy.

You didn't see me getting all huffy
every time you made me mad.

- I made you mad?
- Sure.

And you were three times
the pain in the butt these kids are.

Good.

Then you'll be able
to handle them for me.

Maybe I could, but I don't wanna
give you a fish, Luanne.

I wanna teach you how to fish.

That way you'll eat forever.

Hello, I'm with the electric company.

Don't mind me. I'll only be a minute.

[SNIFFING]

I'm on break.

Please continue with
your private conversation.

Do not worry.

I am deaf and cannot hear
what you are saying.

You know, Luanne, you and I both
wanted a little place of our own.

I thought my den
would be my oasis.

But now the only place
I can get away from

the various annoyances in my life is...

Is?

Is my lawn.

When I'm out there mowing,
edging, watering,

even fertilizing,
nothing else matters.

Yup. That's what you got to do, Luanne.
Find yourself a project.

Find your own lawn.

[TRIUMPHANT INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC]

That's it?

I couldn't help but overhear
your uncle's bad advice.

What?

It is I, Dale Gribble,
master of 1,000 faces.

You just met face number two:

the deaf electrician.

The only thing your roommates,
i.e., enemies, will understand is fear,

i.e., psychological warfare,
i.e., dirty tricks.

It worked for Dick Nixon.

- Well, but--
- For example,

get a hold of some goat's blood.
Taint that blood.

Then when your roommates need blood,
give them the tainted goat's blood.

It's a perfect plan.

I don't wanna hurt anyone.

I just want them to do the dishes.

Well, in that case,
stack the dishes in the shower.

That's the way Nancy
gets me to do them.

- Luanne, do you mind?
- What are you doing?

Well, somebody left a bunch of dishes
in the shower.

That's kind of rude.

Good Lord, I hate these people.

I know, Jesus.

I know you told me
never to say "hate."

But I'm sorry, Lord.
I really, really do.

[SOFT INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC]

- Truth or dare?
- Dare.

[PEPPY ROCK INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC]

Hey, Uncle Hank.

Guess what?

Right this second,

the pH balance in this pool...

is absolutely perfect.

So, you found yourself a project.

Do you get the same...

high I get from lawn care?

You know, I think I do.

GIRL:
Excuse me.

You didn't pay your bills, did you?

Well, Luanne, at least you tried.

I paid my bills.

And then I closed all the accounts.

If my roommates want gas, water,
electricity, or a phone,

they can just open up
their own accounts.

Simple as that.

You know, if you're ever up late
studying for a test

and you want a little electricity,

I've still got that extension cord.

No thanks, Uncle Hank.

You taught me how to fish.

- Yup.
- Yup.

This place looks terrible.

You ain't Pops.

That old guy?

- Yeah, he died.
- Dead?

Then I'm arresting you
for suspicion of murder.

Grab him, Topsy.

Yeah. All right, boy,
you're coming with--

Get your hands off me, you Nazi.

Who are you calling a Nazi?

[SINISTER INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC]

All right, Topsy, let's roll.

- DALE: Truth or dare?
- BILL: Dare.

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