All language subtitles for King of the Hill s04e14 High Anxiety 2.eng

BOBBY: Previously on
King of the Hill:

You are in public with this little bimbo.

I need you to protect me
from Miz Liz.

You are having an affair
with her husband.

I was having an affair with my boss.
You're my boss now.

Hank.

I'm not going to let Peggy
find out about any of this.

You know what?
Debbie is history.

My God! Debbie.
I've gotta stop her.

[SCREAMS]

PEGGY:
Debbie? Somebody shot Debbie!

[THEME MUSIC]

[TENSE INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC]

How long does it take Debbie
to throw in a load of laundry?

- I really need to talk to her.
- She should be right up.

- Debbie said you were gonna "hey."
- No, we were not.

It was a trick.

Is $300 too much for
a Hot Wheels VW Purple Evil Weevil?

[HANK SIGHS]

I could use one, too.

Damn. The eBay auction closed.
I lost my Weevil.

Dang it. Can I get a light off yours?

That's a funny-looking cigarette.
You roll it yourself?

Yeah.

You got a weak flame on this thing.

[INHALES]

[COUGHING]

This isn't one of them
clove cigarettes, is it?

No, man.
That's the chronic from Mexico.

Damn NAFTA.

- It's clearly an inferior tobacco.
- So, does your wife party, too?

Party?

We throw a party
for Fourth of July and Labor Day.

No, I mean party.
You know, get high, get stoned.

[EXCLAIMS IN SHOCK]

[WOMAN CHATTERING ON POLICE RADIO]

[SUSPENSEFUL INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC]

That barbecue smells yummy,
Ms. Hill.

- You heard the gunshot at 6:45, was it?
- That is correct, sheriff.

And you discovered the body at 6:47?

Most of it, yes.

So let me get this straight.
Debbie was Mr. Strickland's mistress.

And her murdered body was found
at the same place where Mr. Strickland

and his wife just got done
reconciling their differences.

My husband Hank set that up.

Well, the reconciliation,
not the murder.

[HANK GAGGING]

Check you out.
What're you doing?

I am inducing vomiting.

Dude. You only had one hit.

[CONTINUES GAGGING]

No. My eyes are turning bloodshot.

I'm going on a trip.
I look like I'm doped out of my gourd.

[SUSPENSEFUL INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC]

[HANK GROANING]

I'm too high to drive.

[SUSPENSEFUL INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC
INTENSIFIES]

[PANTING]

Gotta sleep this off.

Found this Italian 12-gauge
under the body.

SHERIFF:
I think I got my first suspect.

I could send that up to Dallas,
have my boys run it for prints.

Who in the hell
called in the Texas Rangers?

A Mrs. Peggy Hill, restaurateur.

I love your show! I love that Walker!

[TENSE INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC]

[PANTING]
How long was I sleeping?

Why am I running? God!
I'm talking to myself.

That's a side effect
of the marijuana-poisoning.

Dad! Dad!

The police are looking for you!

No. Debbie's hippie roommate
turned me in for smoking narcotics.

PEGGY:
Hank!

[CLEARS THROAT]

Debbie's dead? I was just in her...

[STUTTERING] I mean,
I just talked to her at work.

It was awful.
I saw her lying there and...

[SNIFFING]

Honey, you reek.

Yeah. Too much time
near the propane tanks today.

Mr. Hill, I'm Lester Payton
with the Texas Rangers.

- Nice to meet you.
- Mind if I cut in, Payton?

This is my dance.
Now, Mr. Hill, I have some questions.

I'm sorry. I lost a close friend
and a valued tank-wipe today.

I gotta go home right now.

Peggy, you'll need to drive.
I'm in mourning.

That coroner in Heimlich County
will get to the bottom of this.

He's a good man. He did the autopsies
on two of my gun-club buddies last year.

You don't think the police
will want to run a drug test

on Debbie's coworkers, do you?

Now that you mention it,
I am positive they will.

They'll drug-test everyone in Arlen.

The price for a bag of clean urine
will double.

What do you think will happen
to the price of poo-poo?

Unchanged.

[HANK SIGHS]

HANK: Debbie bought those flowers
just before she died.

MRS. STRICKLAND:
Attention, everyone.

Now that there's no one left at work
for my husband to diddle,

I've allowed him to return.

Buck Strickland.

Thank you.

Now, I ain't a stupid man.
I heard the rumors.

I know that I got some fingers
a-pointing at me.

But I'm giving y'all the
Buck Strickland guarantee

that I didn't kill that pretty girl.

I wanna catch the murderer
more than anything.

So, if any of you
have information for the police,

why don't you just come see me first?

We can discuss
the best way of handling that.

STRICKLAND:
Back to work, Ol' Top.

[OMINOUS INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC]

All right, Ladybird.
I washed this shirt a dozen times.

[SNIFFING]

What do you think, girl?
Can you still smell the Mary Jane?

Oh, no.

[SUSPENSEFUL INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC]

Uncle Hank,
Sheriff Mumford is here.

Afternoon, Hank.
What are you cooking?

Nothing.

My eyesight ain't what it used to be,

but ain't that some kind of smoke
coming out of there?

That's the burgers.

Strange-smelling burgers.

What kind of herbs
you putting in there?

HANK: Herbs? Oh, God!
That's street talk for marijuana.

You know, Hank, I spent the day
gathering evidence

over at the Casa Linda
Singles Apartments.

And, well, I just thought you might want
to know you are now a suspect...

Oh, no!

...in the murder of Debbie Grund.

That. Oh, God!

HANK: Now, this goes
without saying, Peggy,

but you know I'm not guilty.

Of course I know you
didn't kill anyone.

But you know what
I do not understand?

The sheriff said
that you had a motive

and it concerns your
relationship with Miz Liz.

He kept using that phrase.

"Relationship with Miz Liz."

"Relationship with Miz Liz."

Well...

He may be referring to this time

I went out to a fraudulent propane
emergency at Mrs. Strickland's,

and she was in a kimono,

and she wanted me to service her...

[CLEARS THROAT]

...accessories, not the propane.

Okey-dokey.

Now, that makes some sense.
Mrs. Strickland was coming on to you,

so you killed Debbie.
Buck goes back to Miz Liz,

and Miz Liz stops bothering you.

Have you been reading
those rabbi mysteries again?

They do hold up.

Now, if I may be
an advocate of the devil here,

let's combine your motive

with the fact that you have
no alibi for 6:45 p.m.

And the sheriff called earlier.

He said that they found
your Strickland name patch

in the bushes behind
Peggy's Sugarfoot's.

What? I don't remember losing
my "Hank" patch.

You didn't lose it.

He said it had been torn off
as if in a struggle.

[TENSE INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC]

[HANK EXCLAIMS IN SHOCK]

So, Hank, my question to you is:

Why did you not tell me
that Miz Liz made a pass at you?

So, I was wondering if kids
who are hopped up on drugs

could do things they wouldn't remember
when they hopped back down.

Absolutely, Mr. Jones.

So my son, who'll be attending
Arlen High in a couple of years,

God willing,

he could get baked

and leave his nametag in
some bushes somewhere

and then not remember?

Yeah. We call that blacking out.

I was in prison with a guy
who was doing life for a murder

he didn't even
remember committing. Okay?

So someone could take dope,
black out in a field,

- and kill a coworker?
- Coworker, cab driver, prostitute.

It doesn't matter who.

[SUSPENSEFUL INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC]

All right. This is about what
Debbie weighed.

HANK:
Does this seem familiar?

Maybe.

[CAR APPROACHING]

STRICKLAND:
Evening, Hank.

What are you busying
yourself with there?

Just throwing out
some expired sand.

- Garbage cans at home are full.
- Whatever. We need to talk.

Let's take a ride. Your truck.

- Where to, sir?
- The quarry.

It's deserted this time of night.
Nobody'll bother us.

[OMINOUS INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC]

HANK: Mr. Strickland, I want you to know
that I don't think I killed Debbie.

I cared for that gal, Hank.

So, if you've taken me out here
to kill me in retribution,

I believe that would be premature.

I know you fooled around
with Debbie, Ol' Top.

No, not true. I rebuffed.

But you were angry at her.

- Yes.
- Louder.

Yes, I was angry.

Debbie threatened to tell my wife
that we had sexual relations.

Okay, Hank. I got all I need.

[SUSPENSEFUL INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC]

A 12-gauge shell. Oh, my God!

I want you to promise me
you won't ever do drugs, Bobby.

I promise.

A promise means nothing when a junkie
tricks you into smoking a joint

when you think it's a cigarette,
which you shouldn't smoke, either.

- Promise me, Bobby.
- Okay, I promise.

[SIGHS DEJECTEDLY]

Promises mean nothing.

Look, Dad, I'm not gonna use drugs
because drugs are for losers.

And I'd never wanna
disappoint you.

Plus, I wanna be the first
chubby comic to live past 35.

[TENSE INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC]

- Afternoon, Hank.
- Hi, sheriff.

Any leads on the murderer
that don't point in my direction?

Ms. Hill, could you
excuse us a moment?

I'd like to tell your
husband a dirty joke.

Sheriff, if this is
about the investigation,

I assure you, you can speak freely.

My husband and I have
no secrets between us.

Cigarette?

No, we do not smoke.

That's smart. Filthy habit.

Say, could I trouble you for a light?

I could look in the house.

Never mind.
I got this here silver lighter.

Found it in Debbie's apartment.
Got the initials "HRH" on it.

Say, now, what's your middle name?

- Rutherford.
- Right. HRH.

So, unless His Royal Highness,
the Prince of Wales,

stopped by Sunday night for a smoke--

Okay. The lighter's mine.

It was a gift
from Mrs. Elizabeth Strickland.

I know all about Miz Liz.
As I said, I know everything...

about my husband.

So you know about your husband's
relationship with Debbie?

What relationship?

- I had no relationship with Debbie.
- Sheriff?

[GRUNTS DISBELIEVINGLY]

If I may.

HANK [ON TAPE]:
Debbie threatened to tell my wife

that we had sexual relations.

Well, I'm sure you folks
have plenty to talk about.

Y'all have a nice day.

I didn't sleep with Debbie.

I don't know how my lighter
got into her apartment.

And I already told you about being
in the bathtub with a naked Miz Liz.

PEGGY:
Did you see her breasts?

KAHN:
Hey, Charlie Manson.

Can I get your autograph on the Sugarfoot
napkin I pull out of dumpster?

If you murder her,
I auction it on eBay for big bucks.

eBay? Wait a minute.

Damn. The eBay auction closed.
I lost my Weevil.

[SUSPENSEFUL INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC]

[INHALING]

[MOANING ANXIOUSLY]

[GAGGING]

Kahn, you may have just made
my autograph worthless.

The auction for that Purple
Weevil Wobbler, what time did it close?

6:58 p.m.

You wanna go in a chat room
with Gene Roddenberry's wife?

Listen to me.
Debbie was killed at 6:45.

I didn't inhale until 7:00
at the earliest.

I couldn't have blacked out
and killed her. She was already dead.

Yeah, dude.
You were here smoking pot with me.

You can tell that to the cops.
I'll back you up.

[TENSE INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC]

[CAR ENGINE STARTING]

SHERIFF: Leaving the Get In, Get Out
so soon, Payton?

I'm sure there's some candy bars
you haven't questioned.

You had better take them
Three Musketeers into separate rooms.

- Maybe one of them will crack.
- That's a good one, sheriff.

How'd Hee Haw
ever let you get away?

[SHERIFF GRUNTS APPROVINGLY]

Do I smell Peggy Hill's old-fashioned
buttermilk griddlecakes?

Sheriff, now, I'm sure you did not
come all this way just to smell

Peggy Hill's old-fashioned
buttermilk griddlecakes.

Guilty. Speaking of which, Mr. Hill,

Debbie's roommate Gale's
got an interesting alibi

for the night of the murder.

Says he was with you,
sparking up a J.

In English, please?

Lighting up a J.

[GASPING]
Getting high? He said that?

Well, now you have a second crime
to investigate, sheriff.

The attempted assassination
of my husband's character.

How dare you!
My dad would never use drugs.

I say good day, sheriff.

Mr. Hill?

[SOMBER INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC]

The boy's right.
I would never smoke pot.

Yeah, you're as square
as a block of wood.

But this Gale feller,
he's from up north.

Hair down to his butt crack

and a layer of filth
that just don't wash off.

Now that I've talked to you,
I know he's just a liar who's got no alibi.

[OMINOUS INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC]

They're arresting the murderer on TV!
It's a woman!

- BOBBY: Who is it?
- PEGGY: A woman?

NEWSCASTER:
Another arrest of the--

That's not a woman,
that's Debbie's roommate.

Her name is Gale.

I've never had a homicide
go unsolved in Heimlich County,

and my record stands intact.
Two for two.

But Gale couldn't have done it.
He was...

He was what, Dad?

Nothing.

Come on, show
Peggy's Sugarfoot's in the background.

Show Peggy's Sugarfoot's
in the background.

Yes!

You know, I'm not
so sure this Gale, is it?

I'm just not so sure he's the right guy
who did the murder.

Now you're just talking crazy, Hank.

The sheriff arrested him.
That means he's guilty.

Bill's right.

I should know. I've served on four juries
and we did our job.

Four convictions.

It is not your job as
a juror to just convict.

Is too.

I just wanna say thanks to Buck Strickland
for throwing this case-closed dinner.

MAN 1:
Hear, hear.

The party's also a sendoff to our
good friend, Texas Ranger Payton,

who was unable to solve the crime.

[PEOPLE MURMURING]

I hope Gale doesn't get off on some
pothead technicality, right, Dad?

Those technicalities have a name, Bobby.

They're called the Bill of Rights.

He's got a right, he's got a right arm
for them to stick the needle in.

MAN 2:
That'd be good.

All right. That's enough.

Gale did not kill Debbie.
That's right. He's innocent.

And I know that because at the time
of the murder, Gale was with me.

We were in Debbie's apartment...

[SOMBER INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC]

And, like he said,
we were smoking pot.

[ALL GASP]

- Who are you, Hank Hill?
- Now, it was an accident.

I didn't know it was pot,
and God knows I didn't enjoy it.

But the fact remains, sheriff,
you have the wrong man in your jail.

- Then it was Buck.
- It wasn't me. It was Hank.

Didn't you get the tape?

What about that "Hank" nametag
I put in the bushes?

- It wasn't Hank, it was you.
- No, it wasn't.

- Then it was Miz Liz.
- No, it wasn't.

All right, fine. It was me.
I'm your man, sheriff.

You got the right to remain silent--

PAYTON: If you people
are just about finished,

I'll tell you who killed Debbie.

Debbie's phone record showed
she called Mr. Hank Hill

a short while before her death.

Which means she
was home at 6:00 p.m.

Now, what would she have seen if
she looked out her window at 6:00 p.m.?

Normally, she'd see Sheriff Mumford

stuffing some Sugarfoot's ribs
into his face.

But on this night, she saw Mr. Buck and
Miz Liz Strickland entering the restaurant.

Which, according to the Sugarfoot's
reservations book, occurred at...

6:03, mister, and 6:04, missus.

Seeing Buck and Miz Liz back together
must have

thrown that pretty little tank-wipe
into a jealous rage.

So when she went
down to Sugarfoot's--

Peggy's Sugarfoot's.

- At the time it was.
- Yeah.

The point is, she went there
to kill Buck Strickland with

the 12-gauge shotgun
he had stashed in her apartment.

PAYTON: So she climbed into
the dumpster next to his Cadillac

to lie in wait.

Sitting in a dumpster full of half-eaten
barbecue can make you hungry.

And sure enough,
Debbie went across the street

to the Get In, Get Out.

According to the security videotape
and a written deposition

from a Mr. Freddie Hakimi,
she purchased a Big Gulp

and a 99-cent nacho plate.

By buying them together,
she saved 23 cents.

My God! That is one heck of a deal.

When Debbie returned to the dumpster,
she saw Mr. Strickland's car

and assumed he was still there.

What she didn't know was that
the Stricklands had already left together

in Mrs. Strickland's car, having reconciled
physically in a storeroom...

and again in the meat locker...

and once more in the slop sink.

She had difficulty
juggling the three items

as she attempted to
negotiate her way

back into the dumpster.
She put the gun in first.

She wouldn't let go of that junk food.

And that was the source of her demise.

For as Debbie climbed
into that dumpster,

her foot accidentally tripped
the hammer on the gun.

[DEBBIE GRUNTING]

[GUNSHOT]

So, Debbie Grund's killer
was Debbie Grund.

Buck, I am so relieved.

- I thought it was you.
- And I would have, too, Miz Liz.

I'd have done it for you.
'Course, I thought you did it.

That's why I planted the shotgun shell
in Hank's truck, to protect you.

- You planted evidence for me?
- Yeah.

Oh!

- Sugarfoot.
- Sweetie.

Sorry about that whole
frame-up there, Tonto.

I was under a lot of stress.

Yeah, okay.

I guess if my mistress had been murdered
and my wife were a suspect...

Yeah.

I guess I let you down, son.

Doing drugs like that
when I've always told you not to.

You know, if I did something like this,
you'd punish me.

Maybe I should be able to punish you.

Okay, son. What's my punishment?

- Am I grounded?
- That's too easy.

You cannot mow the lawn for one week.

HANK: Come on, son!
It was an accident.

BOBBY:
You wanna go for two?

[THEME MUSIC]

BOBBY:
I say good day, sheriff.

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