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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:47,702 --> 00:00:49,338 New York City. 2 00:00:49,438 --> 00:00:51,507 Population: 100. 3 00:00:51,606 --> 00:00:57,112 A land full of CEOs, VIPs and STIs. 4 00:00:57,212 --> 00:00:58,213 And with that many people, 5 00:00:58,313 --> 00:01:02,151 there's bound to be a few great stories. 6 00:01:02,251 --> 00:01:03,419 Like this one. 7 00:01:03,519 --> 00:01:07,322 Our story begins like all great stories, 8 00:01:07,423 --> 00:01:09,724 with two straight men. 9 00:01:09,824 --> 00:01:12,727 Oh, fuck, I am good. 10 00:01:12,827 --> 00:01:15,797 Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. 11 00:01:15,897 --> 00:01:18,033 This is Craig Tiddle. 12 00:01:24,206 --> 00:01:26,542 And this is Trevor Brock. 13 00:01:26,641 --> 00:01:29,644 They're twins. Identical twins. 14 00:01:29,744 --> 00:01:31,779 Fuck you! They are. 15 00:01:31,879 --> 00:01:34,216 And how do I know all of this? 16 00:01:34,316 --> 00:01:36,452 Because I'm God. 17 00:01:36,552 --> 00:01:38,087 That's right. God. 18 00:01:38,187 --> 00:01:41,589 He/him. The greatest storyteller of all time. 19 00:01:41,689 --> 00:01:43,392 Check the sales of my book. 20 00:01:43,492 --> 00:01:45,660 Number-one bestseller in the world. 21 00:01:45,760 --> 00:01:48,996 They're highly successful alpha males. 22 00:01:49,098 --> 00:01:50,765 Virile. Strong. 23 00:01:50,865 --> 00:01:53,901 And oh-so-very manly. 24 00:02:05,347 --> 00:02:07,116 Fuck yeah. 25 00:02:07,216 --> 00:02:11,420 Wow, those twins really have it all. 26 00:02:14,456 --> 00:02:16,158 Oh! Good morning! 27 00:02:17,326 --> 00:02:19,627 Or do they? 28 00:02:19,727 --> 00:02:22,264 Craig and Trevor don't know they're twins. 29 00:02:22,364 --> 00:02:25,933 They were separated at birth and have never met. 30 00:02:26,034 --> 00:02:29,538 But that all changes today. 31 00:02:39,214 --> 00:02:40,915 Oh, Craig, I think you dropped your mug. 32 00:02:41,016 --> 00:02:42,950 Keep it, old lady. I got a lot of mugs. 33 00:02:43,051 --> 00:02:44,319 I got a lot of everything. 34 00:02:44,419 --> 00:02:46,121 Wow, your life seems perfect. 35 00:02:46,221 --> 00:02:50,058 Trust me, my smelly friend, it is. 36 00:02:50,159 --> 00:02:52,461 ♪ I got a mansion in the Hamptons ♪ 37 00:02:52,561 --> 00:02:54,695 ♪ I got a bungalow upstate ♪ 38 00:02:54,795 --> 00:02:57,199 ♪ I got a penthouse just for fucking ♪ 39 00:02:57,299 --> 00:02:59,168 ♪ And another where I masturbate ♪ 40 00:02:59,268 --> 00:03:00,202 ♪ Pow ♪ 41 00:03:00,302 --> 00:03:02,371 ♪ The money just keeps rolling in ♪ 42 00:03:02,471 --> 00:03:04,739 ♪ The good times never stop ♪ 43 00:03:04,839 --> 00:03:06,774 ♪ There's never been a man like me ♪ 44 00:03:06,874 --> 00:03:09,444 ♪ And I'll always be on top ♪ 45 00:03:11,046 --> 00:03:12,447 Package for Trevor Brock. 46 00:03:12,548 --> 00:03:13,649 Fuck this tiny thing. 47 00:03:13,748 --> 00:03:16,385 I already got the biggest package in town. 48 00:03:16,485 --> 00:03:18,554 ♪ My cock is fucking massive ♪ 49 00:03:18,654 --> 00:03:20,922 ♪ It always leaves the ladies sore ♪ 50 00:03:21,023 --> 00:03:23,225 ♪ Seven inches long Curves to the left ♪ 51 00:03:23,325 --> 00:03:25,260 ♪ Then it goes ten inches more ♪ 52 00:03:25,360 --> 00:03:27,196 -♪ Ooh! ♪ -♪ I got girls and cash ♪ 53 00:03:27,296 --> 00:03:28,197 ♪ Cars and booze ♪ 54 00:03:28,297 --> 00:03:30,532 ♪ I'm the cream of the fucking crop ♪ 55 00:03:30,632 --> 00:03:32,767 ♪ There's never been a man like me ♪ 56 00:03:32,867 --> 00:03:35,470 ♪ And I'll always be on top ♪ 57 00:03:37,573 --> 00:03:38,940 Thanks, doll. 58 00:03:39,374 --> 00:03:40,741 Mm-mm. 59 00:03:43,512 --> 00:03:44,879 Oop. 60 00:03:46,682 --> 00:03:48,050 You have a good day. 61 00:03:49,017 --> 00:03:49,984 Huh? 62 00:03:55,591 --> 00:03:56,924 Whoa. 63 00:04:09,071 --> 00:04:10,871 -You're welcome. -You're welcome. 64 00:04:17,145 --> 00:04:19,348 ♪ I'm the best ♪ 65 00:04:19,448 --> 00:04:21,617 ♪ So fucking blessed ♪ 66 00:04:21,717 --> 00:04:24,519 ♪ Sexy, smart It's just not fair ♪ 67 00:04:24,620 --> 00:04:27,289 ♪ I slay pussy everywhere ♪ 68 00:04:27,389 --> 00:04:28,690 ♪ I get what I want ♪ 69 00:04:28,789 --> 00:04:30,858 ♪ And what I got I flaunt ♪ 70 00:04:30,958 --> 00:04:34,496 ♪ And though some people find it strange ♪ 71 00:04:35,963 --> 00:04:39,468 ♪ No one's gonna make me change ♪ 72 00:04:49,777 --> 00:04:51,946 Oh, my God. 73 00:04:52,047 --> 00:04:53,382 Sorry, you just... 74 00:04:53,482 --> 00:04:54,249 You really look like me. 75 00:04:54,349 --> 00:04:56,585 I think you mean that you look like me. 76 00:04:56,685 --> 00:04:58,487 -Craig Tiddle. -Trevor Brock. 77 00:04:58,587 --> 00:04:59,954 -Whoa. -Whoa. 78 00:05:00,055 --> 00:05:01,056 I think I got some lube on you. 79 00:05:01,156 --> 00:05:03,558 Hey, no worries. I'll save that for later. 80 00:05:03,659 --> 00:05:04,959 Say, where do you work? 81 00:05:05,060 --> 00:05:07,962 GVPI. It's my first day at the new corporate headquarters. 82 00:05:08,063 --> 00:05:09,531 Hot damn! Me, too. 83 00:05:09,631 --> 00:05:11,099 You must be from the downtown office? 84 00:05:11,199 --> 00:05:13,201 That I am. Take it you're from the uptown branch? 85 00:05:13,302 --> 00:05:15,836 -My reputation precedes me. -Nope. Never heard of you. 86 00:05:15,936 --> 00:05:17,773 Actually, I'm the one who's never heard of you, so... 87 00:05:17,872 --> 00:05:18,873 Well, you should've heard of me, 88 00:05:18,973 --> 00:05:20,442 because I'm the number-one salesman 89 00:05:20,542 --> 00:05:21,610 this company's got. 90 00:05:21,710 --> 00:05:22,778 Hate to break it to you, buddy, 91 00:05:22,877 --> 00:05:24,845 but last time I checked, I was number one. 92 00:05:24,945 --> 00:05:26,248 Craig Tiddle's always on top. 93 00:05:26,348 --> 00:05:28,883 You might be on top of a sex offenders registry, 94 00:05:28,983 --> 00:05:31,153 but I've always been the best salesman. 95 00:05:31,253 --> 00:05:33,488 Fuck you, pal. I've had a record month. 96 00:05:33,588 --> 00:05:35,823 While you were in bed milking your morning wood, 97 00:05:35,923 --> 00:05:38,160 I've been pounding the pavement making sales. 98 00:05:38,260 --> 00:05:39,461 If you think I can't make sales 99 00:05:39,561 --> 00:05:40,696 and jerk off at the same time, 100 00:05:40,796 --> 00:05:42,297 you got another thing coming because... 101 00:05:42,397 --> 00:05:44,766 ♪ I always get the things I want ♪ 102 00:05:44,865 --> 00:05:46,834 ♪ There's no way I can flop ♪ 103 00:05:46,934 --> 00:05:49,471 ♪ There's never been a man like me ♪ 104 00:05:49,571 --> 00:05:51,773 ♪ And I'll always be I'll always be ♪ 105 00:05:51,872 --> 00:05:53,642 ♪ I'll always be on top ♪ 106 00:05:55,010 --> 00:05:56,645 ♪ Global Vroomba Parts ♪ 107 00:05:56,745 --> 00:05:58,180 ♪ No, we don't sell Vroombas ♪ 108 00:05:58,280 --> 00:05:59,880 ♪ Just the parts Like the gears ♪ 109 00:05:59,980 --> 00:06:02,317 ♪ And the wheels and those teeny tiny brushes ♪ 110 00:06:02,417 --> 00:06:03,918 Listen to me, you piece of shit. 111 00:06:04,019 --> 00:06:05,187 The sooner you make me money, 112 00:06:05,287 --> 00:06:07,222 the sooner you can afford health insurance. 113 00:06:07,322 --> 00:06:10,692 Health care is a luxury. 114 00:06:14,429 --> 00:06:17,165 This is... gorgeous. 115 00:06:17,265 --> 00:06:19,568 Beautiful. A beautiful space. 116 00:06:19,668 --> 00:06:21,036 Craig Tiddle, Trevor Brock. 117 00:06:21,136 --> 00:06:22,637 My two top salesmen. 118 00:06:22,738 --> 00:06:24,773 Oh, um, actually, I'm Trevor. 119 00:06:24,872 --> 00:06:26,007 Yeah, and I'm Craig. 120 00:06:26,108 --> 00:06:27,975 Oh, okay, well... 121 00:06:28,076 --> 00:06:30,145 You two motherfuckers look like y'all could be twins. 122 00:06:30,245 --> 00:06:31,646 -Mm, I don't see it. -I think we actually 123 00:06:31,747 --> 00:06:33,081 -look very dissimilar. -Yeah. 124 00:06:33,181 --> 00:06:34,249 I guess it's just, uh, uh, 125 00:06:34,349 --> 00:06:36,051 some shit that I really don't care about. 126 00:06:36,151 --> 00:06:38,487 I'm your new boss, Gloria Masters. 127 00:06:38,587 --> 00:06:40,389 Wow, a-a lady boss. 128 00:06:40,489 --> 00:06:43,291 I guess it really is the year that it is. 129 00:06:43,392 --> 00:06:45,026 -I'm crazy about that. -Yes, the year of the pussy. 130 00:06:45,127 --> 00:06:47,062 Exactly. So, boss, we were wondering, 131 00:06:47,162 --> 00:06:48,764 which one of us is top salesman 132 00:06:48,864 --> 00:06:50,399 and which one is a dumb little baby? 133 00:06:50,499 --> 00:06:51,600 Well, I'm glad you asked. 134 00:06:51,700 --> 00:06:54,569 As you can see right here, I have installed a leaderboard 135 00:06:54,669 --> 00:06:55,837 that tracks y'all's sales. 136 00:06:55,936 --> 00:06:57,572 Plug 'er in, fellas. 137 00:07:03,545 --> 00:07:05,147 -Yes! Yes! -Oh, no. 138 00:07:05,247 --> 00:07:07,716 Trevor Brock, my prize pig. 139 00:07:07,816 --> 00:07:09,651 But the rest of you motherfuckers? 140 00:07:09,751 --> 00:07:11,219 Get to work. 141 00:07:11,319 --> 00:07:13,488 Hey, tough titty, Tiddle. 142 00:07:13,588 --> 00:07:16,525 Hey, but chin up, maybe you could be my assistant. 143 00:07:16,625 --> 00:07:19,428 All my assistants suck my dick. 144 00:07:24,232 --> 00:07:25,600 What in God's green hell? 145 00:07:25,700 --> 00:07:28,303 Mark me down for 2,000 wheels, 2,000 gears 146 00:07:28,403 --> 00:07:30,439 and 3,000 of those teeny tiny brushes. 147 00:07:30,539 --> 00:07:31,706 That's a big sale. 148 00:07:31,807 --> 00:07:33,008 Let this be a lesson to you. 149 00:07:33,108 --> 00:07:35,177 Use people, like pawns on a checkerboard. 150 00:07:38,747 --> 00:07:40,382 Son of a fucking bitch. 151 00:07:40,482 --> 00:07:42,950 That's right. Back where I belong. 152 00:07:43,051 --> 00:07:45,620 For now. I'll admit, you're good. 153 00:07:45,720 --> 00:07:46,922 It's gonna be fun to crush you. 154 00:07:47,022 --> 00:07:48,156 Right back at you. 155 00:07:48,256 --> 00:07:49,791 -May the best man... -Win. 156 00:07:49,891 --> 00:07:51,793 Win. I was gonna say that. 157 00:07:51,893 --> 00:07:54,329 ♪ Craig Tiddle's fucking awesome ♪ 158 00:07:54,429 --> 00:07:56,932 ♪ Trevor Brock is off the charts ♪ 159 00:07:57,032 --> 00:07:59,167 ♪ They talk a lot about their dicks ♪ 160 00:07:59,267 --> 00:08:01,470 ♪ And they sell fucking Vroomba parts ♪ 161 00:08:01,570 --> 00:08:03,805 ♪ You won't ever take me down ♪ 162 00:08:03,905 --> 00:08:06,074 ♪ I'll work until I drop ♪ 163 00:08:06,174 --> 00:08:08,677 ♪ There's never been a man like me ♪ 164 00:08:08,777 --> 00:08:11,213 ♪ And I'll always be on top ♪ 165 00:08:12,180 --> 00:08:14,549 ♪ 15,000 gears ♪ 166 00:08:14,649 --> 00:08:16,117 -♪ Money, money, money ♪ -♪ Craig Tiddle ♪ 167 00:08:16,218 --> 00:08:17,486 -♪ Money, money, money ♪ -♪ Number one ♪ 168 00:08:17,586 --> 00:08:19,287 ♪ 20,000 wheels ♪ 169 00:08:19,387 --> 00:08:20,822 -♪ Money, money, money ♪ -♪ Trevor Brock ♪ 170 00:08:20,922 --> 00:08:21,823 -♪ Money, money, money ♪ -♪ Is getting it done ♪ 171 00:08:21,923 --> 00:08:22,958 ♪ 30,000 gears ♪ 172 00:08:23,058 --> 00:08:24,159 ♪ Craig Tiddle You're the best ♪ 173 00:08:24,259 --> 00:08:25,227 ♪ 40,000 wheels ♪ 174 00:08:25,327 --> 00:08:27,062 ♪ Trevor Brock Sign my chest ♪ 175 00:08:28,996 --> 00:08:30,699 I love fucking money! 176 00:08:30,799 --> 00:08:32,667 ♪ Who's it gonna be? Who's it gonna be? ♪ 177 00:08:32,767 --> 00:08:34,002 ♪ Who's it gonna be? 178 00:08:34,102 --> 00:08:36,738 ♪ Who's it gonna be? Who's it gonna be? ♪ 179 00:08:41,042 --> 00:08:43,612 100,000 teeny tiny brushes! 180 00:08:44,613 --> 00:08:46,314 ♪ Look around ♪ 181 00:08:46,414 --> 00:08:48,550 ♪ It's plain to see ♪ 182 00:08:48,650 --> 00:08:53,054 ♪ There's never been a man like me ♪ 183 00:08:54,890 --> 00:08:59,394 ♪ 'Cause I'm the fucking ♪ 184 00:08:59,494 --> 00:09:04,766 ♪ Top... ♪ 185 00:09:11,473 --> 00:09:12,507 Whew. 186 00:09:12,607 --> 00:09:13,775 Still at it, shrimp? 187 00:09:13,875 --> 00:09:15,143 Work hard, stay hard. 188 00:09:15,243 --> 00:09:16,845 Never been tied for first before. 189 00:09:16,945 --> 00:09:18,480 I'm used to being the total top. 190 00:09:18,580 --> 00:09:20,448 Oh, yeah, I'm gunning for your ass, little boy. 191 00:09:20,549 --> 00:09:22,517 That's why I'm here late. 192 00:09:22,617 --> 00:09:23,919 -Grinding. -Same. 193 00:09:24,020 --> 00:09:25,687 Definitely not because I have nowhere to go 194 00:09:25,787 --> 00:09:27,422 and no one to see. 195 00:09:27,522 --> 00:09:29,324 Oh, I got a vast network of meaningful relationships, 196 00:09:29,424 --> 00:09:30,926 for sure, but no time for those now. 197 00:09:31,027 --> 00:09:33,562 I got to put in the hours so I can stay ahead of you, Craig. 198 00:09:34,229 --> 00:09:35,430 -Trevor. -Huh? 199 00:09:35,530 --> 00:09:38,166 You just called me Craig. You're Craig. I'm Trevor. 200 00:09:38,266 --> 00:09:40,969 God, you're such an idiot, Trevor. 201 00:09:41,069 --> 00:09:42,203 No, I'm Craig. 202 00:09:42,304 --> 00:09:44,406 -You're Trevor, Trevor. -Damn it, we look alike. 203 00:09:44,506 --> 00:09:46,274 We do not. You have long hair like a girl. 204 00:09:46,374 --> 00:09:47,876 You have short hair like a lesbian girl. 205 00:09:47,976 --> 00:09:49,744 This haircut is classic Trevor. 206 00:09:49,844 --> 00:09:51,513 Fuck. Classic Cr... Fuck you! 207 00:09:51,613 --> 00:09:52,547 No, fuck you. 208 00:09:52,647 --> 00:09:54,783 -You don't get me. -You don't get me, either. 209 00:09:54,883 --> 00:09:56,018 No one does. 210 00:10:04,026 --> 00:10:08,296 ♪ I'm in this struggle all alone ♪ 211 00:10:08,396 --> 00:10:12,233 ♪ I don't know what to do ♪ 212 00:10:12,334 --> 00:10:15,870 ♪ I wish there was someone who knew ♪ 213 00:10:15,971 --> 00:10:19,441 ♪ What I am going through ♪ 214 00:10:19,541 --> 00:10:22,844 ♪ This feeling that I'm feeling ♪ 215 00:10:22,944 --> 00:10:26,581 ♪ It feels so very bad ♪ 216 00:10:26,681 --> 00:10:29,851 ♪ It's almost like my life's a lie ♪ 217 00:10:29,951 --> 00:10:34,756 ♪ And actually I'm sad ♪ 218 00:10:34,856 --> 00:10:40,128 ♪ No one understands what I've been through ♪ 219 00:10:41,496 --> 00:10:45,834 ♪ No one knows what it's like to be ♪ 220 00:10:45,934 --> 00:10:49,137 ♪ A man with my specific life ♪ 221 00:10:49,237 --> 00:10:52,108 ♪ Saying these specific words ♪ 222 00:10:52,207 --> 00:10:56,144 ♪ The only one who understands ♪ 223 00:10:56,244 --> 00:10:59,214 ♪ Is me ♪ 224 00:10:59,314 --> 00:11:01,416 Say, is this your family? 225 00:11:01,516 --> 00:11:04,452 What? No. But I definitely have a real family. 226 00:11:04,552 --> 00:11:06,454 And they're rich and smart and kind and real. 227 00:11:06,554 --> 00:11:09,025 Oh, me, too. I got a birth mommy and a birth daddy, 228 00:11:09,125 --> 00:11:11,593 same as everybody else. 229 00:11:11,693 --> 00:11:14,329 ♪ Growing up with just a mom ♪ 230 00:11:14,429 --> 00:11:17,532 ♪ It left a gaping hole ♪ 231 00:11:17,632 --> 00:11:20,635 ♪ My single dad He did his best ♪ 232 00:11:20,735 --> 00:11:23,838 ♪ But life She took her toll ♪ 233 00:11:23,938 --> 00:11:27,109 ♪ With Pops I could have fished for fish ♪ 234 00:11:27,208 --> 00:11:29,844 ♪ My fastball we'd perfect ♪ 235 00:11:29,944 --> 00:11:33,348 ♪ With Mom I could have learned to bake ♪ 236 00:11:33,448 --> 00:11:38,386 ♪ Or show women respect ♪ 237 00:11:38,486 --> 00:11:44,526 ♪ No one understands what I've been through ♪ 238 00:11:44,626 --> 00:11:49,098 ♪ No one knows what it's like to be ♪ 239 00:11:49,197 --> 00:11:52,300 ♪ A man with my specific life ♪ 240 00:11:52,400 --> 00:11:55,470 ♪ Saying these specific words ♪ 241 00:11:55,570 --> 00:11:59,574 ♪ The only one who understands ♪ 242 00:11:59,674 --> 00:12:01,609 ♪ Is me ♪ 243 00:12:01,710 --> 00:12:05,447 ♪ If you think I've had it easy ♪ 244 00:12:05,547 --> 00:12:08,184 ♪ Then you're wrong ♪ 245 00:12:08,283 --> 00:12:11,519 ♪ The road's been fucking hard ♪ 246 00:12:11,619 --> 00:12:14,522 ♪ And fucking long ♪ 247 00:12:14,622 --> 00:12:17,459 ♪ Everything I ever got ♪ 248 00:12:17,559 --> 00:12:20,595 ♪ I got all on my own ♪ 249 00:12:20,695 --> 00:12:23,565 ♪ I rose up from the ashes ♪ 250 00:12:23,665 --> 00:12:28,336 ♪ Of my single-parent home ♪ 251 00:12:28,436 --> 00:12:31,473 ♪ 'Cause I've always been a fighter ♪ 252 00:12:31,573 --> 00:12:34,809 ♪ Since the day that I was born ♪ 253 00:12:34,909 --> 00:12:40,815 ♪ On January 3rd, 1986 ♪ 254 00:12:40,915 --> 00:12:46,888 -♪ At 5:08 a.m. ♪ -♪ At 5:07 a.m. ♪ 255 00:12:46,988 --> 00:12:48,423 Wait, what the fuck, dude? 256 00:12:48,523 --> 00:12:52,128 Yeah, there are a lot of similarities happening here. 257 00:12:52,228 --> 00:12:53,528 -What is that? -This? 258 00:12:53,628 --> 00:12:55,231 Oh, the only thing I have 259 00:12:55,330 --> 00:12:56,898 from the dad I never knew is... 260 00:12:56,998 --> 00:12:58,733 Half of a locket. 261 00:12:58,833 --> 00:13:00,802 This is the only thing I have from my mom. 262 00:13:00,902 --> 00:13:03,404 I've never understood mine. It just says "our bo." 263 00:13:03,505 --> 00:13:05,440 I think it must be an ancient Indigenous saying. 264 00:13:05,540 --> 00:13:07,076 Mine only says "toys." 265 00:13:07,176 --> 00:13:09,477 Huh. But what if...? 266 00:13:11,579 --> 00:13:13,648 "Our two boys." 267 00:13:13,748 --> 00:13:15,650 Oh, my God. Does this mean... 268 00:13:15,750 --> 00:13:17,219 Hold on, sorry, you thought that said "toys"? 269 00:13:17,318 --> 00:13:19,487 Yeah, T-W-O-Y-S, toys. 270 00:13:19,587 --> 00:13:21,056 No, there's not a "W" in toys. 271 00:13:21,157 --> 00:13:22,158 Damn it all to fuck, Craig! 272 00:13:22,258 --> 00:13:23,625 Who cares about letters right now? 273 00:13:23,725 --> 00:13:25,860 You only have a dad. I only have a mom. 274 00:13:25,960 --> 00:13:28,296 We were born on the same day, almost down to the minute. 275 00:13:28,396 --> 00:13:29,531 We must be brothers. 276 00:13:29,631 --> 00:13:30,999 Not just brothers, Trevor. 277 00:13:31,100 --> 00:13:32,067 Twins. 278 00:13:32,168 --> 00:13:34,003 Wow, we're twins. 279 00:13:34,103 --> 00:13:35,503 We're fucking identical twins. 280 00:13:36,704 --> 00:13:41,776 ♪ No one understands what I've been through ♪ 281 00:13:42,844 --> 00:13:46,848 ♪ No one knows what it's like to be ♪ 282 00:13:46,948 --> 00:13:49,317 ♪ A man who thought he was alone ♪ 283 00:13:49,417 --> 00:13:51,253 ♪ But then found out he had a twin ♪ 284 00:13:51,386 --> 00:13:54,023 ♪ Who works at the same fucking job ♪ 285 00:13:55,090 --> 00:13:59,727 ♪ What a big coincidence ♪ 286 00:13:59,828 --> 00:14:06,734 ♪ The only one who understands ♪ 287 00:14:08,270 --> 00:14:13,641 ♪ Is we ♪ 288 00:14:16,078 --> 00:14:19,981 ♪ Is we ♪ 289 00:14:21,449 --> 00:14:26,821 ♪ Is we ♪ 290 00:14:32,061 --> 00:14:34,395 Gears. Wheels. 291 00:14:34,495 --> 00:14:36,131 Teeny tiny brush... Wow. 292 00:14:36,232 --> 00:14:40,668 L, M, N, O... 293 00:14:40,768 --> 00:14:41,870 P. 294 00:14:48,843 --> 00:14:50,445 -Hey. -Hey. 295 00:14:52,114 --> 00:14:53,315 This is crazy, right? 296 00:14:53,414 --> 00:14:54,949 Totally crazy. I mean... 297 00:14:55,050 --> 00:14:57,253 What are the odds of working with your long-lost twin? 298 00:14:57,353 --> 00:14:59,454 I don't know, one in four, three in four? 299 00:14:59,554 --> 00:15:01,123 -It's crazy. -Crazy. 300 00:15:01,223 --> 00:15:02,224 But wait. 301 00:15:02,324 --> 00:15:04,392 I can't believe Mom and Dad split us up. 302 00:15:04,492 --> 00:15:06,028 Like, is that abuse? 303 00:15:06,128 --> 00:15:07,363 Did they abuse us? 304 00:15:07,462 --> 00:15:09,397 We definitely experienced abuse-ment. 305 00:15:09,497 --> 00:15:11,532 -Oh, my God. -I mean, don't get me wrong. 306 00:15:11,633 --> 00:15:12,767 My life is awesome. 307 00:15:12,867 --> 00:15:14,869 No, no, no, no, m-m-mine is awesome, too. 308 00:15:14,969 --> 00:15:16,804 -I have an amazing job. -Amazing job. 309 00:15:16,905 --> 00:15:18,173 I'm always dating some big-tit lady. 310 00:15:18,274 --> 00:15:19,574 Stunning big-tit ladies. 311 00:15:19,674 --> 00:15:21,343 I always get the things I want. 312 00:15:21,442 --> 00:15:22,644 Except for a real family. 313 00:15:22,744 --> 00:15:24,712 Single-parent homes are not real families. 314 00:15:24,812 --> 00:15:26,048 That's true. 315 00:15:26,148 --> 00:15:27,749 Hmm. 316 00:15:28,516 --> 00:15:30,818 What do we do? 317 00:15:30,919 --> 00:15:33,488 You know, if Mom and Dad got married again, 318 00:15:33,588 --> 00:15:35,857 then we'd have a real family. 319 00:15:35,957 --> 00:15:37,126 What if... 320 00:15:38,327 --> 00:15:40,862 What if we tricked them into getting back together? 321 00:15:40,962 --> 00:15:42,797 Keep talking until I understand. 322 00:15:42,897 --> 00:15:44,632 We trick Mom and Dad into thinking 323 00:15:44,732 --> 00:15:46,035 they need to get married again. 324 00:15:46,135 --> 00:15:47,403 Oh, my God, yes. 325 00:15:47,502 --> 00:15:49,305 I'll go talk to Dad now and trick him 326 00:15:49,405 --> 00:15:51,173 into getting back together with Mom. 327 00:15:51,273 --> 00:15:52,840 Well, uh, no offense, 328 00:15:52,941 --> 00:15:54,475 -but you'd probably fuck it up. -Oh. 329 00:15:54,575 --> 00:15:56,111 I should be the one to trick Dad. 330 00:15:56,211 --> 00:15:57,346 But you've never met him. 331 00:15:57,445 --> 00:15:58,980 Baby, I'm the number-one salesman. 332 00:15:59,081 --> 00:15:59,981 I could trick anybody. 333 00:16:00,082 --> 00:16:02,517 Okay, hold up, I'm the number-one salesman. 334 00:16:02,617 --> 00:16:03,818 If anybody's gonna trick a parent 335 00:16:03,918 --> 00:16:05,486 they've never met, it's gonna be me. 336 00:16:05,586 --> 00:16:07,522 While you're tricking Dad, I'll trick Mom. 337 00:16:07,622 --> 00:16:09,224 And I'll do it better. 338 00:16:09,325 --> 00:16:10,758 All right, then. It's settled. 339 00:16:10,858 --> 00:16:13,028 We're switching places to trick the parent we never knew 340 00:16:13,128 --> 00:16:14,196 into getting married again. 341 00:16:14,296 --> 00:16:15,530 -Fine. Fine. -Fine. 342 00:16:15,630 --> 00:16:17,433 Which means we're going to need... 343 00:16:17,532 --> 00:16:19,401 Disguises! 344 00:16:19,500 --> 00:16:21,936 Wow, you look so good, King. 345 00:16:22,037 --> 00:16:23,105 You, too, King. 346 00:16:23,205 --> 00:16:25,107 I mean, obviously, I would've preferred a lace front, 347 00:16:25,207 --> 00:16:27,775 but sometimes a shake and go can get the job done. 348 00:16:27,875 --> 00:16:29,544 -Right. -So, what's Mom like? 349 00:16:29,644 --> 00:16:30,745 At the very least, I hope she fulfills 350 00:16:30,845 --> 00:16:32,613 every single expectation I have of her. 351 00:16:32,714 --> 00:16:34,515 -That's reasonable. -Just, like, an awesome, 352 00:16:34,615 --> 00:16:36,484 conventional, elegant mommy. 353 00:16:36,584 --> 00:16:38,553 God, if she's, like, a kooky old eccentric lady, 354 00:16:38,653 --> 00:16:40,755 I don't know what the fuck I'll do. 355 00:16:40,855 --> 00:16:43,825 Yeah, um, let's, uh, let's change the subject entirely. 356 00:16:43,925 --> 00:16:45,860 -Huh? -Tell me about Dad. 357 00:16:45,960 --> 00:16:46,794 Oh, our dad? 358 00:16:46,894 --> 00:16:48,364 -Yeah, our dad. -Um... 359 00:16:48,464 --> 00:16:49,998 Is he a big, strong macho guy like me? 360 00:16:50,099 --> 00:16:51,933 I hope he's a big macho guy like me! 361 00:16:52,034 --> 00:16:53,768 Yeah, listen, I would obviously love to talk 362 00:16:53,868 --> 00:16:55,503 about that, but look, oh, God, it's Mom's house. 363 00:16:55,603 --> 00:16:56,571 So I got to go right now. 364 00:16:56,671 --> 00:16:57,638 Oh, God! 365 00:16:57,739 --> 00:17:00,708 Okay, bye-bye. 366 00:17:00,808 --> 00:17:02,478 Drive, you piece of shit! 367 00:17:03,112 --> 00:17:05,114 Okay, Craig, you got this. 368 00:17:05,214 --> 00:17:07,316 Shit! Fuck! Damn! No! 369 00:17:07,416 --> 00:17:08,983 You're Trevor now, all right? 370 00:17:09,084 --> 00:17:11,586 And Trevor is gonna knock on the door. 371 00:17:23,232 --> 00:17:24,565 Hello? 372 00:17:26,168 --> 00:17:27,369 Mom? 373 00:17:27,469 --> 00:17:29,570 Why, Trevor, 374 00:17:29,670 --> 00:17:31,939 what a nice surprise. 375 00:17:33,108 --> 00:17:34,176 Mom! 376 00:17:34,276 --> 00:17:36,078 That's right, it's me. 377 00:17:36,178 --> 00:17:37,678 -Good old Mom. -Right. 378 00:17:37,779 --> 00:17:40,282 And I'm... Trevor. 379 00:17:40,382 --> 00:17:42,784 -Yes, you are. -So... 380 00:17:42,884 --> 00:17:44,952 Mom, you're in a wheelchair now? 381 00:17:45,054 --> 00:17:48,923 Well, Trevor, I've been in this wheelchair since January. 382 00:17:49,024 --> 00:17:52,061 Yes, and I haven't been here since then, so... 383 00:17:52,161 --> 00:17:54,496 January of 1979. 384 00:17:54,595 --> 00:17:56,131 Cool, so I do know this. 385 00:17:56,231 --> 00:17:59,600 Darling, what's the matter? You're not acting yourself. 386 00:17:59,700 --> 00:18:01,336 And what's with that hair? 387 00:18:01,437 --> 00:18:05,407 I don't remember it being this fake and shitty looking. 388 00:18:05,507 --> 00:18:07,042 It's a wig. Dah! 389 00:18:07,142 --> 00:18:11,046 I mean, um, I'm growing it out for a wig. 390 00:18:11,146 --> 00:18:12,613 Yeah, Locks for Love. 391 00:18:12,713 --> 00:18:14,383 -Oh. -I'm gonna give some bald, 392 00:18:14,483 --> 00:18:15,817 barren women a second chance. 393 00:18:15,917 --> 00:18:18,786 Well, I was just about to have some tea. 394 00:18:18,886 --> 00:18:20,855 Won't you join me? 395 00:18:20,955 --> 00:18:23,025 Mom, it's really good to see you. 396 00:18:23,459 --> 00:18:24,625 Really actually good. 397 00:18:24,725 --> 00:18:27,529 Well, it is really good to see you, too, dear, 398 00:18:27,628 --> 00:18:30,532 always, my darling boy. 399 00:18:30,631 --> 00:18:32,967 My only darling boy. 400 00:18:33,601 --> 00:18:35,370 The only boy I ever had. 401 00:18:35,471 --> 00:18:36,671 -Sure, yeah. -Yes. 402 00:18:36,771 --> 00:18:38,606 The only boy that ever came 403 00:18:38,706 --> 00:18:40,975 rocketing out of my vagina. 404 00:18:41,076 --> 00:18:41,876 Okay. 405 00:18:41,976 --> 00:18:43,778 I would've probably had another one 406 00:18:43,878 --> 00:18:45,481 just like you, but I didn't. 407 00:18:45,581 --> 00:18:47,549 -The more you... -I had a vasectomy. 408 00:18:47,648 --> 00:18:49,984 One second after you was born, 409 00:18:50,085 --> 00:18:51,520 -Wow. -I had a vasectomy. 410 00:18:51,652 --> 00:18:53,754 They snipped it. 411 00:18:55,157 --> 00:18:57,059 So, Mom... 412 00:18:57,159 --> 00:18:58,726 It's been a minute, what have you been up to? 413 00:18:58,826 --> 00:19:01,563 Oh, my gosh, Trevor! 414 00:19:01,662 --> 00:19:03,831 Well, you know me. 415 00:19:03,931 --> 00:19:04,832 I do. 416 00:19:04,932 --> 00:19:06,401 And all the things I get up to. 417 00:19:06,502 --> 00:19:09,071 Any specifics about it, though, would be appreciated. 418 00:19:09,171 --> 00:19:11,140 Tell me it as if I didn't know, 419 00:19:11,240 --> 00:19:13,375 -even though of course I do. -Ah, this morning, 420 00:19:13,475 --> 00:19:17,279 Patricia and I watched a film from the Criterion Collection. 421 00:19:17,379 --> 00:19:20,015 -You know Patricia, of course. -If you say so. 422 00:19:20,115 --> 00:19:22,884 Mom, you seem so cultured. 423 00:19:22,984 --> 00:19:25,720 Well, I'm glad you're finally recognizing that. 424 00:19:25,820 --> 00:19:29,525 Yeah, me, too, it's time that someone fina... 425 00:19:29,625 --> 00:19:32,161 Uh, that's sand. 426 00:19:32,261 --> 00:19:34,062 Oh, my God. 427 00:19:34,163 --> 00:19:37,432 I switched the tea and the sand again. 428 00:19:37,533 --> 00:19:38,666 Again? 429 00:19:38,766 --> 00:19:41,436 I'm going fast. 430 00:19:41,537 --> 00:19:43,605 I make my own sand, you know. 431 00:19:43,704 --> 00:19:45,240 -Do you? -Yes, I do. 432 00:19:45,340 --> 00:19:46,408 Out of what? 433 00:19:46,508 --> 00:19:47,842 Out of sand. 434 00:19:47,942 --> 00:19:49,578 Here you go, darling. 435 00:19:49,677 --> 00:19:50,811 -Thank you. -Oh, my gosh, 436 00:19:50,912 --> 00:19:52,581 wait a minute, not so fast. 437 00:19:52,680 --> 00:19:54,016 That'll be your reward. 438 00:19:54,116 --> 00:19:55,651 Before you go, I need you to grab 439 00:19:55,750 --> 00:19:57,653 something down for me, please? 440 00:19:57,752 --> 00:19:59,521 -Yeah, fucking sure. Um... -Yes, yes. 441 00:19:59,621 --> 00:20:00,988 It's that one right there. 442 00:20:01,089 --> 00:20:02,924 -This one? -Nope, that one. 443 00:20:03,025 --> 00:20:05,394 -So this one? -No, that one. 444 00:20:05,494 --> 00:20:07,862 -Okay, then this one? -No, darling, that one. 445 00:20:07,962 --> 00:20:09,031 -Here? -Darling? 446 00:20:09,131 --> 00:20:10,632 Let's calm down, look at me. 447 00:20:10,731 --> 00:20:12,501 -Do you see my finger? -I do. 448 00:20:12,601 --> 00:20:14,136 -This is called pointing. -Yeah. 449 00:20:14,236 --> 00:20:16,305 If you draw a little dotted line 450 00:20:16,405 --> 00:20:18,706 from the tip of my finger and you go poop, boop, boop. 451 00:20:18,806 --> 00:20:20,708 Yeah, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop right to here. 452 00:20:20,808 --> 00:20:22,010 -This is the one? -No! 453 00:20:22,110 --> 00:20:23,378 -Here? -Let me, okay, let me... 454 00:20:23,478 --> 00:20:24,479 I need to calm down. 455 00:20:24,580 --> 00:20:25,514 Could you describe it? 456 00:20:25,614 --> 00:20:27,216 Darling, I'm not going to spoil you. 457 00:20:27,316 --> 00:20:30,118 How about a single adjective of-of any of these? 458 00:20:30,219 --> 00:20:32,753 Not over there. Look, this is like this. 459 00:20:32,853 --> 00:20:34,389 -Here again. -Not that one. 460 00:20:34,489 --> 00:20:35,624 -Is it this one? -Yeah! 461 00:20:35,723 --> 00:20:37,326 Oh, motherfucker. Goddamn it. 462 00:20:37,426 --> 00:20:39,827 I could think of words you could've used. 463 00:20:39,927 --> 00:20:42,431 Ooh, well, that was quite an ordeal. 464 00:20:42,531 --> 00:20:44,266 -Yeah, I'll say. -Oh, my God. 465 00:20:44,366 --> 00:20:45,833 No, no, no, no, please. 466 00:20:45,933 --> 00:20:47,802 That's Jerome. He's easily aroused. 467 00:20:47,902 --> 00:20:49,605 Don't get him anywhere near me. 468 00:20:49,705 --> 00:20:50,738 You have sex with this? 469 00:20:50,838 --> 00:20:52,241 Darling, of course. 470 00:20:52,341 --> 00:20:54,576 Look at him, how could I possibly resist? 471 00:20:54,676 --> 00:20:56,678 -He? It's a he? -He's a they. 472 00:20:56,777 --> 00:20:59,014 Oh, God, well, I-- Now that I know that you 473 00:20:59,114 --> 00:21:02,084 fuck this little gay boot, I'd love to put it somewhere. 474 00:21:02,184 --> 00:21:03,751 I think you should put him right down there 475 00:21:03,851 --> 00:21:05,721 next to Patricia, she can handle it. 476 00:21:05,853 --> 00:21:07,855 This is Patricia, who you saw the movie with? 477 00:21:07,955 --> 00:21:10,492 Darling, of course. You know Patricia. 478 00:21:10,592 --> 00:21:12,694 And I would ask you to unhand her! 479 00:21:12,793 --> 00:21:14,162 Okay, Mommy, you know what? 480 00:21:14,263 --> 00:21:16,031 I think maybe you need to get out of the house a little bit. 481 00:21:16,131 --> 00:21:19,000 Darling, why would I leave the house? 482 00:21:19,101 --> 00:21:21,503 I have everything I need right here. 483 00:21:21,603 --> 00:21:22,671 Yeah, sure. 484 00:21:22,770 --> 00:21:25,674 I lead a charmed life, Trevor. 485 00:21:25,773 --> 00:21:27,576 Don't you understand? 486 00:21:31,946 --> 00:21:36,084 ♪ My life's been quite the wild ride ♪ 487 00:21:36,184 --> 00:21:38,453 ♪ Intrigue, thrills ♪ 488 00:21:38,553 --> 00:21:41,223 ♪ Romance ♪ 489 00:21:41,323 --> 00:21:45,160 ♪ I may have reached my twilight years ♪ 490 00:21:45,260 --> 00:21:50,132 ♪ But it's all still song and dance ♪ 491 00:21:50,766 --> 00:21:52,434 ♪ Seasons come ♪ 492 00:21:52,534 --> 00:21:55,103 ♪ And seasons go ♪ 493 00:21:55,203 --> 00:22:00,575 ♪ My years keep flying by ♪ 494 00:22:00,676 --> 00:22:04,879 ♪ And now I sit here in my house until the day I die ♪ 495 00:22:04,979 --> 00:22:07,449 Trevor, I'm an independent woman. 496 00:22:07,549 --> 00:22:11,586 I do what I want when I want with whom I want. 497 00:22:11,687 --> 00:22:13,988 -I am very confused. -I'm afraid 498 00:22:14,089 --> 00:22:16,024 you simply don't understand 499 00:22:16,124 --> 00:22:19,860 what a gas it is when you get to be my age. 500 00:22:19,960 --> 00:22:21,330 ♪ I'm 93 ♪ 501 00:22:21,430 --> 00:22:22,798 ♪ No, 94 ♪ 502 00:22:22,897 --> 00:22:24,466 That can't be right. 503 00:22:24,566 --> 00:22:25,866 ♪ Just wait, there's more ♪ 504 00:22:25,966 --> 00:22:28,804 ♪ My back is broke My tits, they sag ♪ 505 00:22:28,903 --> 00:22:31,839 ♪ I have to pee into a bag ♪ 506 00:22:31,939 --> 00:22:35,043 ♪ I have three toes My eyes are coins ♪ 507 00:22:35,143 --> 00:22:38,113 ♪ A mouse named Pip lives in my loins ♪ 508 00:22:38,213 --> 00:22:40,948 ♪ I smell like milk Well, more like cheese ♪ 509 00:22:41,049 --> 00:22:44,486 ♪ My nipples wink I never sneeze ♪ 510 00:22:44,586 --> 00:22:47,022 ♪ I cannot remember the year I was born ♪ 511 00:22:47,122 --> 00:22:50,125 ♪ I sculpt all my friends out of clay ♪ 512 00:22:50,225 --> 00:22:53,362 ♪ I've seen every movie And most of them thrice ♪ 513 00:22:53,462 --> 00:22:56,665 ♪ For breakfast I only eat hay ♪ 514 00:22:56,765 --> 00:22:58,667 Well, this has been fun, but I got to be 515 00:22:58,767 --> 00:23:00,402 anywhere but here. 516 00:23:00,502 --> 00:23:03,472 ♪ I keep all my ice cubes inside of my purse ♪ 517 00:23:03,572 --> 00:23:06,375 ♪ I have a whole room full of geese ♪ 518 00:23:06,475 --> 00:23:09,111 ♪ I only read backwards I never use spoons ♪ 519 00:23:09,211 --> 00:23:11,580 ♪ My mother is also my niece ♪ 520 00:23:11,680 --> 00:23:14,182 ♪ My organs are cotton I cry melted butter ♪ 521 00:23:14,282 --> 00:23:16,651 ♪ I have no reflection I bathe in asbestos ♪ 522 00:23:16,752 --> 00:23:18,953 ♪ The world is a riddle I might be the devil ♪ 523 00:23:19,054 --> 00:23:21,590 ♪ My pussy fell off once in Greece, hey! ♪ 524 00:23:22,990 --> 00:23:24,992 Who saw that coming? 525 00:23:25,093 --> 00:23:27,295 I did. 526 00:23:28,630 --> 00:23:29,598 Craig. 527 00:23:30,098 --> 00:23:32,033 My favorite son. 528 00:23:32,601 --> 00:23:34,069 My only son. 529 00:23:34,169 --> 00:23:35,936 -What a surprise. -Yeah. 530 00:23:36,037 --> 00:23:37,606 I thought I'd swing by. 531 00:23:37,706 --> 00:23:39,374 Oh. 532 00:23:39,474 --> 00:23:41,076 A hug. 533 00:23:41,176 --> 00:23:44,413 Well, this is new. 534 00:23:44,513 --> 00:23:45,647 Uh... 535 00:23:46,882 --> 00:23:48,216 Don't forget to let go. 536 00:23:48,316 --> 00:23:50,252 Otherwise, we're just wrasslin'. 537 00:23:52,621 --> 00:23:54,189 Wow. 538 00:23:54,890 --> 00:23:56,758 Swanky digs, Dad. 539 00:23:56,858 --> 00:23:59,094 -Oh, hush. -No, I mean it. 540 00:23:59,194 --> 00:24:02,230 This place is so nice and clean and chic and... 541 00:24:02,330 --> 00:24:04,599 God, I wish I'd grown up here. 542 00:24:05,500 --> 00:24:08,036 What are talking about, Craig? You did grow up here. 543 00:24:08,136 --> 00:24:10,305 And I wish I could grow up here again. 544 00:24:10,405 --> 00:24:12,674 -Shame how time works. -Yeah. 545 00:24:12,774 --> 00:24:14,810 It really sucks. Care for a mimosa? 546 00:24:14,910 --> 00:24:16,478 Oh. 547 00:24:16,578 --> 00:24:19,314 Don't judge, but I've already had one... 548 00:24:19,414 --> 00:24:20,248 pitcher. 549 00:24:20,348 --> 00:24:22,384 Come on. 550 00:24:22,484 --> 00:24:23,852 Just kidding. 551 00:24:23,951 --> 00:24:25,654 But I do drink every morning. 552 00:24:25,754 --> 00:24:27,155 -Sure. -Cheers. 553 00:24:29,257 --> 00:24:30,192 Mmm. 554 00:24:30,292 --> 00:24:32,828 Craig, I'm glad you're here actually. 555 00:24:32,928 --> 00:24:35,297 Same, Dad. What do you want to do first? 556 00:24:35,397 --> 00:24:38,567 Play catch in the yard? Not talk about our feelings? 557 00:24:39,901 --> 00:24:42,070 Funny you should mention feelings. 558 00:24:44,539 --> 00:24:46,675 Uh... 559 00:24:51,413 --> 00:24:52,414 Wow. 560 00:24:52,514 --> 00:24:54,282 Okay. 561 00:24:54,382 --> 00:24:56,551 I've been meaning to tell you for some time. 562 00:24:57,619 --> 00:25:00,522 There's no easy way to say this, but... 563 00:25:01,122 --> 00:25:03,458 -But... -But what? 564 00:25:05,961 --> 00:25:07,095 I'm gay. 565 00:25:09,598 --> 00:25:12,067 Wait, wait, uh, this is something that I, 566 00:25:12,167 --> 00:25:14,369 Craig, didn't know about until just now? 567 00:25:14,469 --> 00:25:15,403 That's correct. 568 00:25:15,504 --> 00:25:17,472 Um, okay, great, then I can freely say, 569 00:25:17,572 --> 00:25:21,009 what the fuck, Dad, you're gay? 570 00:25:21,109 --> 00:25:23,044 Well, I was hoping for a little more enthusiasm, 571 00:25:23,144 --> 00:25:25,413 but yes, Craig, I'm gay. 572 00:25:25,514 --> 00:25:28,149 Queer as a three-dollar bill and just as thin. 573 00:25:28,250 --> 00:25:30,151 -Well, let's not go c-- -Shh. Daddy's talking. 574 00:25:30,252 --> 00:25:32,120 -Mm-hmm. -Honestly, 575 00:25:32,220 --> 00:25:34,856 the signs have been there for ages. 576 00:25:34,956 --> 00:25:36,558 I'm only now realizing it. 577 00:25:36,658 --> 00:25:39,861 I am and have always been a normal homosexual man 578 00:25:39,961 --> 00:25:43,498 who does all the normal things normal homosexual men do. 579 00:25:43,598 --> 00:25:46,535 -Like what? -Well, I'll tell you. 580 00:25:47,569 --> 00:25:49,838 ♪ I wake up, drink my coffee ♪ 581 00:25:49,938 --> 00:25:52,107 ♪ Have brunch around 11:00 ♪ 582 00:25:52,207 --> 00:25:54,175 ♪ Walk my bichon frise ♪ 583 00:25:54,276 --> 00:25:56,578 ♪ Then nap till half past 7:00 ♪ 584 00:25:56,678 --> 00:25:59,015 ♪ A night out at the symphony ♪ 585 00:25:59,114 --> 00:26:01,182 ♪ Such elegance, what poise ♪ 586 00:26:01,283 --> 00:26:03,418 ♪ Or maybe I'll just stay at home ♪ 587 00:26:03,518 --> 00:26:05,320 ♪ With my two Sewer Boys ♪ 588 00:26:05,420 --> 00:26:06,354 What? 589 00:26:06,454 --> 00:26:09,591 ♪ The answer is perfectly clear ♪ 590 00:26:09,691 --> 00:26:15,031 ♪ It's a gay old life being queer ♪ 591 00:26:15,130 --> 00:26:17,532 I'm so sorry, did you say "Sewer Boys"? 592 00:26:17,632 --> 00:26:21,436 Oh, come on, Craig. You know my Sewer Boys. 593 00:26:26,608 --> 00:26:28,044 No! 594 00:26:28,143 --> 00:26:31,680 No! No! 595 00:26:31,780 --> 00:26:36,351 No! No! No! 596 00:26:36,451 --> 00:26:38,587 Christ on a crutch, Craig. 597 00:26:38,687 --> 00:26:39,688 Are you all right? 598 00:26:39,788 --> 00:26:42,857 You sounded like Maria Callas on a rough matinee. 599 00:26:42,958 --> 00:26:44,693 What the fuck are those things? 600 00:26:44,793 --> 00:26:46,995 My Sewer Boys. 601 00:26:47,095 --> 00:26:49,598 Pale little inbred creatures, 602 00:26:49,698 --> 00:26:50,465 live underground. 603 00:26:50,565 --> 00:26:53,001 Only communicate in clicks and whistles. 604 00:26:55,403 --> 00:26:57,806 I-I'm very confused. 605 00:26:57,906 --> 00:26:59,274 You do seem a bit off, dear. 606 00:26:59,374 --> 00:27:00,775 And what's with your hair? 607 00:27:00,875 --> 00:27:03,378 I don't remember it being this fake or shitty looking. 608 00:27:03,478 --> 00:27:05,447 Oh, God, who cares about wigs right now? 609 00:27:05,547 --> 00:27:07,083 Those things are disgusting. 610 00:27:07,182 --> 00:27:09,451 They're not disgusting, they're gay culture. 611 00:27:09,551 --> 00:27:11,886 Gay culture? Well, they don't seem gay. 612 00:27:11,987 --> 00:27:13,521 They seem dangerous. 613 00:27:13,622 --> 00:27:16,758 Well, I appreciate your concern, but... 614 00:27:16,858 --> 00:27:21,596 ♪ There's nothing dangerous about vacationing in Spain ♪ 615 00:27:21,696 --> 00:27:23,298 ♪ That is until you've thrown ♪ 616 00:27:23,398 --> 00:27:26,068 ♪ Half of your savings down the drain ♪ 617 00:27:26,167 --> 00:27:28,503 ♪ But money should be spent on things ♪ 618 00:27:28,603 --> 00:27:30,739 ♪ Both lovely and refined ♪ 619 00:27:30,839 --> 00:27:33,241 ♪ The Sewer Boys drink blood for fun ♪ 620 00:27:33,341 --> 00:27:34,976 ♪ And also read my mind ♪ 621 00:27:35,077 --> 00:27:39,214 ♪ Don't get in a tizzy My dear ♪ 622 00:27:39,314 --> 00:27:41,983 ♪ It's a gay old life ♪ 623 00:27:42,084 --> 00:27:45,387 ♪ Being queer ♪ 624 00:27:45,487 --> 00:27:48,024 What do you mean, they read your mind? 625 00:27:48,124 --> 00:27:50,191 Uh-oh, someone's hungry. 626 00:27:51,993 --> 00:27:53,495 Oh, God. 627 00:27:54,863 --> 00:27:55,764 Ah. 628 00:27:55,864 --> 00:27:57,932 They'll do anything for a little deli meat. 629 00:27:58,034 --> 00:28:01,202 No, I hate this. 630 00:28:01,870 --> 00:28:03,371 What are you doing? 631 00:28:09,511 --> 00:28:11,746 -Oh. -All right, it's your turn. 632 00:28:14,816 --> 00:28:17,318 Oh, there's got to be a different way to feed them. 633 00:28:17,852 --> 00:28:19,187 No! 634 00:28:21,790 --> 00:28:23,291 All right, all right. 635 00:28:26,661 --> 00:28:29,698 Hey, let's brainstorm some ideas together, Papa. 636 00:28:29,798 --> 00:28:30,665 Maybe a bowl. 637 00:28:30,765 --> 00:28:33,301 Have you thought about a fucking bowl? 638 00:28:33,401 --> 00:28:35,303 Nope, this is how we've always done it. 639 00:28:35,403 --> 00:28:37,272 Dinnertime with my Sewer Boys, 640 00:28:37,372 --> 00:28:38,840 Backpack and Whisper. 641 00:28:38,940 --> 00:28:40,076 Those are their names? 642 00:28:40,176 --> 00:28:41,110 Watch your talons. 643 00:28:41,209 --> 00:28:43,145 Talons. 644 00:28:43,244 --> 00:28:46,015 -Want some ham? -No, I don't want any ham! 645 00:28:46,115 --> 00:28:48,017 I feel like I'm in a fucking nightmare! 646 00:28:48,117 --> 00:28:50,485 Oh, I understand, son. 647 00:28:51,553 --> 00:28:55,223 Coming out can be just as hard on the family. 648 00:28:55,323 --> 00:28:58,194 But it's a journey we'll go on together. 649 00:28:58,293 --> 00:29:00,462 I'm not talking about coming out. 650 00:29:00,562 --> 00:29:02,831 I'm talking about the fucking monsters. 651 00:29:03,932 --> 00:29:07,936 Oh, shh! Don't say that in front of them. 652 00:29:08,037 --> 00:29:09,205 You'll hurt their feelings. 653 00:29:09,304 --> 00:29:11,506 Their feelings? They feel? 654 00:29:11,606 --> 00:29:14,642 What are they? Explain them to me! 655 00:29:15,877 --> 00:29:17,679 Well, it's a long story. 656 00:29:18,780 --> 00:29:19,881 Very well. 657 00:29:19,981 --> 00:29:21,316 Oh, yeah. Get a hat. 658 00:29:21,416 --> 00:29:23,052 ♪ Many decades ago ♪ 659 00:29:23,152 --> 00:29:24,586 ♪ I was down in the sewer ♪ 660 00:29:24,686 --> 00:29:26,855 -Why? -Shh, Daddy's singing. 661 00:29:26,955 --> 00:29:29,758 ♪ Rowing my boat through the slime and manure ♪ 662 00:29:29,858 --> 00:29:31,626 How did you get a boat into the sewer? 663 00:29:31,726 --> 00:29:33,561 You want to hear the story or not? 664 00:29:33,661 --> 00:29:36,831 ♪ Collecting adventures and treasures galore ♪ 665 00:29:36,931 --> 00:29:41,636 ♪ But I couldn't guess what fate had in store ♪ 666 00:29:41,736 --> 00:29:44,073 ♪ I rounded a bend and what did I see? ♪ 667 00:29:44,173 --> 00:29:47,542 ♪ Two creatures so bloody So foul, so carefree ♪ 668 00:29:47,642 --> 00:29:51,046 ♪ They were taking a bath in the corpse of a swine ♪ 669 00:29:51,147 --> 00:29:53,249 ♪ And that's when I knew ♪ 670 00:29:53,348 --> 00:29:56,985 ♪ They had to be mine ♪ 671 00:29:58,220 --> 00:30:00,522 ♪ I tried to entice them ♪ 672 00:30:00,622 --> 00:30:03,092 ♪ But they were too quick ♪ 673 00:30:03,192 --> 00:30:05,261 ♪ Tried to rip out my trachea ♪ 674 00:30:05,360 --> 00:30:07,695 ♪ Bite off my dick ♪ 675 00:30:07,796 --> 00:30:09,831 ♪ With a club I subdued them ♪ 676 00:30:09,931 --> 00:30:13,269 ♪ And made to depart ♪ 677 00:30:13,368 --> 00:30:16,205 ♪ And I stole the two creatures ♪ 678 00:30:16,304 --> 00:30:20,575 ♪ Who'd stolen my heart ♪ 679 00:30:20,942 --> 00:30:21,910 Jesus. 680 00:30:23,878 --> 00:30:27,982 ♪ My boy There's no reason to jeer ♪ 681 00:30:28,083 --> 00:30:32,054 ♪ It's a gay old life ♪ 682 00:30:32,154 --> 00:30:34,223 ♪ Being ♪ 683 00:30:34,322 --> 00:30:38,626 ♪ Queer... ♪ 684 00:30:38,726 --> 00:30:40,095 ♪ I bathe in bleach ♪ 685 00:30:40,196 --> 00:30:41,663 ♪ There's skiing up in Aspen ♪ 686 00:30:41,763 --> 00:30:43,464 -♪ I play the horn ♪ -♪ And sailing of West Palm ♪ 687 00:30:43,565 --> 00:30:44,632 ♪ One time I died ♪ 688 00:30:44,732 --> 00:30:46,168 ♪ The snow is fine as powder ♪ 689 00:30:46,268 --> 00:30:47,936 -♪ I suck on corn ♪ -♪ The waves are always calm ♪ 690 00:30:48,037 --> 00:30:49,938 -♪ I poison fruit ♪ -♪ But no matter where I am ♪ 691 00:30:50,039 --> 00:30:51,339 -♪ I kissed a chair ♪ -♪ There is no way ♪ 692 00:30:51,439 --> 00:30:52,874 ♪ I can resist the urge to climb ♪ 693 00:30:52,974 --> 00:30:54,442 -♪ I juggle for exercise ♪ -♪ Below the streets ♪ 694 00:30:54,542 --> 00:30:55,977 -♪ Never use alphabet ♪ -♪ And smell ♪ 695 00:30:56,078 --> 00:30:57,412 -♪ And a tornado's my friend ♪ -♪ That stinky mist ♪ 696 00:30:57,512 --> 00:30:59,148 ♪ The answer is ♪ 697 00:30:59,248 --> 00:31:01,482 ♪ Perfectly clear ♪ 698 00:31:01,583 --> 00:31:05,687 ♪ It's a gay old life ♪ 699 00:31:05,787 --> 00:31:08,224 ♪ Being queer ♪ 700 00:31:08,324 --> 00:31:13,862 ♪ I have no pussy ♪ 701 00:31:17,233 --> 00:31:19,134 Those foolish boys. 702 00:31:19,235 --> 00:31:21,170 What, oh, what will they do? 703 00:31:26,108 --> 00:31:29,345 Craig Tiddle's phone, Craig Tiddle speaking. Ah! 704 00:31:29,444 --> 00:31:31,013 Why didn't you tell me Dad was a gay man 705 00:31:31,113 --> 00:31:32,881 obsessed with Sewer Boys? 706 00:31:32,981 --> 00:31:34,016 Because I was ashamed. 707 00:31:34,116 --> 00:31:35,850 You don't know what it's like to feed Boar's Head ham 708 00:31:35,950 --> 00:31:38,354 to those slimy little demons your whole life. 709 00:31:38,453 --> 00:31:40,788 Why didn't you tell me Mom's pussy fell off? 710 00:31:40,889 --> 00:31:43,058 You weren't there. It was really disturbing. 711 00:31:43,158 --> 00:31:45,027 Well, I'm sure it was, but not knowing really-- 712 00:31:45,127 --> 00:31:48,364 No, Craig. It was awful. 713 00:31:48,463 --> 00:31:51,300 It crawled away like a fucking cockroach. 714 00:31:51,399 --> 00:31:52,533 Mom was screaming at me, 715 00:31:52,634 --> 00:31:55,770 "Kill it! Kill it!" 716 00:31:55,870 --> 00:31:58,640 I raised my flip-flop to deal the death blow, 717 00:31:58,740 --> 00:32:00,875 and it stared me straight in the eyes. 718 00:32:00,975 --> 00:32:02,877 It had eyes now. 719 00:32:02,977 --> 00:32:05,980 "Dream of this," the pussy said to me. 720 00:32:06,081 --> 00:32:07,749 "Dream of this every night." 721 00:32:08,616 --> 00:32:10,019 And I do, Craig. 722 00:32:10,919 --> 00:32:11,920 I do. 723 00:32:12,987 --> 00:32:14,422 Well, our parents are fucking freaks, 724 00:32:14,522 --> 00:32:15,790 and there's nothing we can do about it. 725 00:32:15,890 --> 00:32:16,658 What do you mean? 726 00:32:16,758 --> 00:32:17,792 I mean that I thought our plan 727 00:32:17,892 --> 00:32:19,761 was going to be easy, and it was not. 728 00:32:19,861 --> 00:32:21,462 But I still want to be brothers, no homo. 729 00:32:21,562 --> 00:32:22,730 Want to be brothers, no homo, too. 730 00:32:22,830 --> 00:32:24,099 Well, then we have to do this. 731 00:32:24,199 --> 00:32:26,201 But our parents are completely incompatible. 732 00:32:26,302 --> 00:32:28,469 Mom has no pussy. 733 00:32:28,569 --> 00:32:30,672 Dad is a gay. 734 00:32:30,772 --> 00:32:33,942 I want this to work, okay? But it just feels... 735 00:32:35,144 --> 00:32:36,678 impossible. 736 00:32:36,778 --> 00:32:39,048 Anything's possible if you force it to be. 737 00:32:39,148 --> 00:32:41,083 -But-- -Shh. 738 00:32:47,789 --> 00:32:50,326 ♪ When I was picking colleges ♪ 739 00:32:50,426 --> 00:32:52,961 ♪ My sights were set on Brown ♪ 740 00:32:53,062 --> 00:32:55,997 ♪ But my scores were all so miserable ♪ 741 00:32:56,098 --> 00:32:58,466 ♪ That they just turned me down ♪ 742 00:32:58,566 --> 00:33:01,536 ♪ So I went and saw the chancellor ♪ 743 00:33:01,636 --> 00:33:03,805 ♪ To make him think again ♪ 744 00:33:03,905 --> 00:33:05,606 ♪ And when he still refused ♪ 745 00:33:05,707 --> 00:33:11,413 ♪ I roofied him And then he let me in ♪ 746 00:33:11,512 --> 00:33:13,548 ♪ You can't give up ♪ 747 00:33:13,648 --> 00:33:16,651 ♪ When people tell you no ♪ 748 00:33:16,751 --> 00:33:18,586 ♪ You can't give up ♪ 749 00:33:18,686 --> 00:33:22,024 ♪ If you want it, make it so ♪ 750 00:33:23,359 --> 00:33:25,526 ♪ Life's a game of poker ♪ 751 00:33:25,626 --> 00:33:28,063 ♪ And I only play to win ♪ 752 00:33:28,163 --> 00:33:31,200 ♪ So if someone says don't do a thing ♪ 753 00:33:31,300 --> 00:33:33,868 ♪ Just do that thing again ♪ 754 00:33:34,936 --> 00:33:37,538 ♪ Last year I found a condo ♪ 755 00:33:37,638 --> 00:33:39,974 ♪ So high up in the sky ♪ 756 00:33:40,075 --> 00:33:43,145 ♪ But the grandmother who lived there ♪ 757 00:33:43,245 --> 00:33:45,646 ♪ She wouldn't let me buy ♪ 758 00:33:45,747 --> 00:33:48,150 ♪ So I framed her ass for larceny ♪ 759 00:33:48,250 --> 00:33:50,818 ♪ And now she rots in jail ♪ 760 00:33:50,918 --> 00:33:52,720 ♪ Then I roofied a whole bar ♪ 761 00:33:52,820 --> 00:33:54,522 ♪ And we all killed ♪ 762 00:33:54,622 --> 00:33:58,427 ♪ A humpback whale ♪ 763 00:33:58,526 --> 00:34:00,229 ♪ You can't give up ♪ 764 00:34:00,329 --> 00:34:03,332 ♪ When people tell you no ♪ 765 00:34:03,432 --> 00:34:05,234 ♪ You can't give up ♪ 766 00:34:05,334 --> 00:34:08,303 ♪ If you want it, make it so ♪ 767 00:34:09,804 --> 00:34:12,341 ♪ Life's a game of Boggle ♪ 768 00:34:12,441 --> 00:34:14,942 ♪ And I only play to win ♪ 769 00:34:15,044 --> 00:34:17,612 ♪ So if someone says don't do a thing ♪ 770 00:34:17,712 --> 00:34:19,881 -♪ Just do that thing ♪ -♪ And do that thing ♪ 771 00:34:19,981 --> 00:34:22,084 ♪ Again ♪ 772 00:34:22,184 --> 00:34:24,420 ♪ The losers are all thinking ♪ 773 00:34:24,520 --> 00:34:27,622 ♪ There's some secret to success ♪ 774 00:34:27,722 --> 00:34:30,392 ♪ And they also think that "no" means "no" ♪ 775 00:34:30,492 --> 00:34:35,097 ♪ But really "No" means "yes" ♪ 776 00:34:35,197 --> 00:34:40,202 ♪ "No" means "yes" ♪ 777 00:34:40,302 --> 00:34:42,204 ♪ You can't give up ♪ 778 00:34:42,304 --> 00:34:45,340 ♪ When people tell you no ♪ 779 00:34:45,441 --> 00:34:47,409 ♪ You can't give up ♪ 780 00:34:47,509 --> 00:34:51,679 ♪ If you want it, make it so ♪ 781 00:34:51,779 --> 00:34:53,915 ♪ Life's a fucking hand job ♪ 782 00:34:54,016 --> 00:34:56,784 ♪ And I only play to win ♪ 783 00:34:56,884 --> 00:34:58,820 ♪ So stroke my fucking cock ♪ 784 00:34:58,920 --> 00:35:02,024 ♪ Until I blast all on your chin ♪ 785 00:35:02,124 --> 00:35:04,792 ♪ Then take that cum and lube me up ♪ 786 00:35:04,892 --> 00:35:07,296 ♪ Until I come again ♪ 787 00:35:07,396 --> 00:35:10,232 ♪ And if someone says don't do a thing ♪ 788 00:35:10,332 --> 00:35:12,301 ♪ Just do that thing and do that thing ♪ 789 00:35:12,401 --> 00:35:13,502 ♪ And do that thing ♪ 790 00:35:13,601 --> 00:35:18,240 ♪ And do that thing... ♪ 791 00:35:18,340 --> 00:35:21,742 ♪ Again ♪ 792 00:35:21,843 --> 00:35:23,911 ♪ Do that thing again ♪ 793 00:35:30,052 --> 00:35:32,787 Ah. Should I open another bottle? 794 00:35:32,887 --> 00:35:34,289 I know it's our second, 795 00:35:34,389 --> 00:35:35,623 but we're not Baptists. 796 00:35:38,626 --> 00:35:39,760 Are you sure that thing's secure? 797 00:35:39,861 --> 00:35:40,962 Hardly. 798 00:35:41,063 --> 00:35:43,465 They've gotten out so many times, 799 00:35:43,565 --> 00:35:46,034 animal control made me tag them. 800 00:35:46,135 --> 00:35:48,604 Have you ever thought about putting them down? 801 00:35:48,703 --> 00:35:51,540 Good grief, I'd sooner put down my wine. 802 00:35:51,639 --> 00:35:53,075 Though I admit, they're a handful. 803 00:35:53,175 --> 00:35:55,843 I haven't had a vacation in years, 804 00:35:55,943 --> 00:35:58,580 and you know how I love jet lag. 805 00:35:58,679 --> 00:36:01,016 Let's talk about what I want to talk about. 806 00:36:01,116 --> 00:36:04,319 Like Mom, for example. If she's real or whatever. 807 00:36:04,419 --> 00:36:05,853 How did you two meet? 808 00:36:05,953 --> 00:36:08,290 Oh! It's a funny story. 809 00:36:08,390 --> 00:36:09,991 We met in a graveyard. 810 00:36:10,092 --> 00:36:12,094 I was trying to find a kidney. 811 00:36:12,194 --> 00:36:15,030 They sell like hotcakes on the black market. 812 00:36:15,130 --> 00:36:17,032 -You were graverobbing. -Why, Trevor, 813 00:36:17,132 --> 00:36:20,001 you know that was my job before the war. 814 00:36:20,102 --> 00:36:22,471 And after. Yahtzee. 815 00:36:22,571 --> 00:36:23,639 We're doing a puzzle. 816 00:36:23,738 --> 00:36:25,040 Puzzle. 817 00:36:26,141 --> 00:36:28,743 There was your mother, up to her neck 818 00:36:28,843 --> 00:36:30,678 in freshly-tilled dirt. 819 00:36:30,778 --> 00:36:33,482 When I called out to her, she pulled a gun on me. 820 00:36:33,582 --> 00:36:34,682 Thought I was a cop. 821 00:36:34,782 --> 00:36:37,152 Graverobbing was illegal in those days. 822 00:36:37,252 --> 00:36:38,453 It's still illegal. 823 00:36:38,554 --> 00:36:39,921 Well, don't tell the police 824 00:36:40,022 --> 00:36:43,125 or they'll make me return half my wardrobe. 825 00:36:43,225 --> 00:36:46,228 All this talk about Dad. What is it, Father's Day? 826 00:36:46,328 --> 00:36:47,929 You know, the more you yammer on about Dad, 827 00:36:48,030 --> 00:36:49,464 it makes me think you miss him. 828 00:36:49,565 --> 00:36:51,600 Like you want to see him again. 829 00:36:51,699 --> 00:36:53,402 -See your mother? -Why not? 830 00:36:53,502 --> 00:36:56,205 You said so yourself, you're fucking monster children... 831 00:36:56,305 --> 00:36:57,339 Sewer Boys! Sewer Boys! 832 00:36:57,439 --> 00:36:59,208 Whatever! 833 00:36:59,308 --> 00:37:02,511 Your Sewer Boys take up so much of your time. 834 00:37:02,611 --> 00:37:04,613 When's the last time you went out 835 00:37:04,712 --> 00:37:06,315 and had a little fun? 836 00:37:06,415 --> 00:37:08,417 A little daddy time? 837 00:37:08,517 --> 00:37:11,486 The last time I went out... 838 00:37:11,587 --> 00:37:13,955 I know the Nazis were still a thing. 839 00:37:14,056 --> 00:37:15,756 God, whatever happened to them? 840 00:37:15,856 --> 00:37:16,991 See, this is what I mean. 841 00:37:17,092 --> 00:37:19,061 You should leave the house now and then. 842 00:37:19,161 --> 00:37:21,230 Hit the town, look at a current globe, 843 00:37:21,330 --> 00:37:22,130 see Dad. 844 00:37:22,231 --> 00:37:23,731 I don't know about seeing your mother, 845 00:37:23,831 --> 00:37:25,933 but... you're right. 846 00:37:26,034 --> 00:37:27,569 A little company could be nice. 847 00:37:27,669 --> 00:37:30,372 Well, how about you and me go to dinner? 848 00:37:30,472 --> 00:37:32,307 Tomorrow night, 8:00 p.m.? 849 00:37:32,407 --> 00:37:33,575 Tomorrow night? 850 00:37:33,675 --> 00:37:35,810 Let's just have drinks here instead, eh? 851 00:37:35,910 --> 00:37:38,247 Or, or... we could go somewhere better. 852 00:37:38,347 --> 00:37:40,616 The kind of place where you could fall in love again. 853 00:37:40,716 --> 00:37:42,251 A place like 854 00:37:42,718 --> 00:37:44,852 La Chateaux. 855 00:37:44,952 --> 00:37:48,523 The most romantic restaurant in all of New York? 856 00:37:48,624 --> 00:37:50,158 Odd place to go with your son. 857 00:37:50,259 --> 00:37:51,426 Well, I already made a reservation, 858 00:37:51,526 --> 00:37:54,162 so enjoy your empty evening full of nothing 859 00:37:54,263 --> 00:37:55,597 but the silence of your own thoughts. 860 00:37:55,697 --> 00:37:58,899 And I loved that idea you had about dinner at La Chateaux. 861 00:37:59,000 --> 00:38:01,069 Wait a minute, wasn't that your idea? 862 00:38:01,169 --> 00:38:03,639 Yup, that's right, a dinner that's definitely your idea, 863 00:38:03,739 --> 00:38:05,107 and definitely with me. 864 00:38:05,207 --> 00:38:06,141 Bye, Mommy. 865 00:38:06,241 --> 00:38:07,376 Well, we'll see. 866 00:38:07,476 --> 00:38:10,245 I mean, uh, it was lovely of you to come over, though. 867 00:38:10,345 --> 00:38:12,714 I hope you'll come back... 868 00:38:12,813 --> 00:38:13,914 soon. 869 00:38:14,016 --> 00:38:15,250 Come back soon. 870 00:38:23,592 --> 00:38:29,064 ♪ The phone, it never rings ♪ 871 00:38:30,599 --> 00:38:36,038 ♪ The door, it never knocks ♪ 872 00:38:37,439 --> 00:38:42,577 ♪ I sit here with my bric-a-brac ♪ 873 00:38:42,678 --> 00:38:45,681 ♪ Oh, my tchotchkes ♪ 874 00:38:45,781 --> 00:38:49,384 ♪ And my clocks ♪ 875 00:38:51,320 --> 00:38:55,923 ♪ I don't think it's a problem ♪ 876 00:38:56,024 --> 00:39:02,597 ♪ That I hate to go outside ♪ 877 00:39:02,698 --> 00:39:05,801 ♪ Though I worry ♪ 878 00:39:05,900 --> 00:39:09,638 ♪ It'll take them weeks ♪ 879 00:39:09,738 --> 00:39:13,308 ♪ To find my body ♪ 880 00:39:13,408 --> 00:39:17,012 ♪ Once I've died ♪ 881 00:39:17,546 --> 00:39:19,281 ♪ I'm lonely ♪ 882 00:39:19,381 --> 00:39:22,850 ♪ I'm lonely, I'm lonely I'm lonely, I'm lonely ♪ 883 00:39:22,950 --> 00:39:24,519 ♪ I'm lonely ♪ 884 00:39:24,619 --> 00:39:25,986 ♪ So lonely ♪ 885 00:39:26,088 --> 00:39:30,625 ♪ So fucking lonely all the time ♪ 886 00:39:31,727 --> 00:39:34,929 ♪ I am a person ♪ 887 00:39:35,030 --> 00:39:36,698 ♪ Who's lonely ♪ 888 00:39:36,798 --> 00:39:41,570 ♪ My Sewer Boys They bring me joy ♪ 889 00:39:43,505 --> 00:39:49,077 ♪ They have throughout the years ♪ 890 00:39:50,545 --> 00:39:52,013 ♪ But I admit ♪ 891 00:39:52,114 --> 00:39:55,083 ♪ They've scared away ♪ 892 00:39:55,183 --> 00:39:58,854 ♪ My wife, my son ♪ 893 00:39:58,953 --> 00:40:01,889 ♪ My peers ♪ 894 00:40:01,989 --> 00:40:05,427 ♪ Could it be ♪ 895 00:40:05,527 --> 00:40:09,131 ♪ I've hid behind ♪ 896 00:40:09,231 --> 00:40:15,903 ♪ My sweet, delightful pets? ♪ 897 00:40:17,372 --> 00:40:20,142 ♪ That they've mired me ♪ 898 00:40:20,242 --> 00:40:23,078 ♪ In crippling debt ♪ 899 00:40:23,178 --> 00:40:27,948 ♪ And been the cause of my death threats ♪ 900 00:40:30,552 --> 00:40:31,986 ♪ I'm lonely ♪ 901 00:40:32,087 --> 00:40:36,625 ♪ I'm lonely, I'm lonely I'm lonely ♪ 902 00:40:37,459 --> 00:40:38,959 ♪ So lonely ♪ 903 00:40:39,060 --> 00:40:44,399 ♪ So lonely and so all alone ♪ 904 00:40:44,499 --> 00:40:48,370 ♪ I am a person ♪ 905 00:40:48,470 --> 00:40:51,139 ♪ Was it wrong to throw away ♪ 906 00:40:51,239 --> 00:40:53,708 ♪ The marriage that I had? ♪ 907 00:40:53,809 --> 00:40:55,277 ♪ Was it wrong? ♪ 908 00:40:55,377 --> 00:40:57,312 ♪ To split my children up ♪ 909 00:40:57,412 --> 00:41:00,682 ♪ Is there a chance that was bad? ♪ 910 00:41:00,782 --> 00:41:02,317 ♪ That was bad ♪ 911 00:41:02,417 --> 00:41:04,985 ♪ Am I wrong to live my life ♪ 912 00:41:05,086 --> 00:41:07,556 ♪ The way I do now? ♪ 913 00:41:09,724 --> 00:41:12,160 -♪ Should I try to change? ♪ -♪ Yes ♪ 914 00:41:12,260 --> 00:41:14,563 -♪ Some way ♪ -♪ Please ♪ 915 00:41:14,663 --> 00:41:15,730 ♪ Somehow ♪ 916 00:41:15,831 --> 00:41:16,798 ♪ Change ♪ 917 00:41:16,898 --> 00:41:18,934 ♪ I have so much to share ♪ 918 00:41:19,034 --> 00:41:20,035 ♪ Change ♪ 919 00:41:20,135 --> 00:41:22,204 ♪ Does anybody care? ♪ 920 00:41:22,304 --> 00:41:25,774 ♪ Please, God If you're listening ♪ 921 00:41:25,874 --> 00:41:29,444 ♪ Just trust me I'm Christian now ♪ 922 00:41:29,544 --> 00:41:34,749 ♪ Answer my motherfucking prayer ♪ 923 00:41:34,850 --> 00:41:37,552 Oh, not now. Not now. 924 00:41:42,591 --> 00:41:45,060 ♪ I'm lonely ♪ 925 00:41:45,160 --> 00:41:49,498 ♪ I'm so lonely ♪ 926 00:41:49,598 --> 00:41:51,333 ♪ So lonely ♪ 927 00:41:51,433 --> 00:41:56,004 ♪ So lonely, I'm all alone ♪ 928 00:41:56,104 --> 00:41:59,074 -♪ I'm lonely ♪ -♪ I'm lonely ♪ 929 00:41:59,174 --> 00:42:00,876 ♪ So very lonely ♪ 930 00:42:00,976 --> 00:42:03,078 ♪ You know I'm lonely ♪ 931 00:42:03,178 --> 00:42:06,715 ♪ I am a person ♪ 932 00:42:08,350 --> 00:42:11,119 -♪ Who's ♪ -♪ Who's ♪ 933 00:42:13,021 --> 00:42:15,156 ♪ Lonely ♪ 934 00:42:15,257 --> 00:42:18,793 -♪ Lonely ♪ -♪ Lonely ♪ 935 00:42:18,894 --> 00:42:21,730 ♪ Lonely ♪ 936 00:42:21,830 --> 00:42:28,703 -♪ Lonely ♪ -♪ Lonely ♪ 937 00:42:34,409 --> 00:42:36,411 Mom called me confirming she's on for dinner tonight. 938 00:42:36,511 --> 00:42:39,015 Oh, Dad has left me, like, 14 voice mails. 939 00:42:39,114 --> 00:42:41,283 -The plan is working, King. -Hell yeah, King. 940 00:42:41,383 --> 00:42:43,485 There's no way this can possibly go wrong. 941 00:42:43,585 --> 00:42:45,353 Uh... Oh, uh-uh. 942 00:42:45,453 --> 00:42:48,156 Tiddle, Brock, what the hell y'all two doing here? 943 00:42:48,256 --> 00:42:49,424 We're keeping your company afloat. 944 00:42:49,524 --> 00:42:50,792 -You're welcome. -I don't know 945 00:42:50,892 --> 00:42:52,028 if estrogen makes you forgetful, 946 00:42:52,127 --> 00:42:53,328 but we're your top two salesmen. 947 00:42:53,428 --> 00:42:54,829 Uh, you're not my two top salesmen. 948 00:42:54,930 --> 00:42:56,598 Check the board. 949 00:43:01,903 --> 00:43:02,871 Okay, so we missed a day 950 00:43:02,971 --> 00:43:04,239 and we fell down a slot or two. Big deal. 951 00:43:04,339 --> 00:43:06,575 Bid deal? Y'all ain't been here in two fucking weeks. 952 00:43:06,675 --> 00:43:08,376 -Two fucking weeks? -Two fucking weeks? 953 00:43:08,476 --> 00:43:10,145 -'Cause we got that wig. -That's it. 954 00:43:10,245 --> 00:43:11,880 -That's where the time went. -Yeah. 955 00:43:11,980 --> 00:43:13,782 Y'all fucked up. So guess what? 956 00:43:13,882 --> 00:43:15,684 Because y'all haven't been making me no money, 957 00:43:15,784 --> 00:43:16,751 y'all are dead to me. 958 00:43:16,851 --> 00:43:18,054 -What? -You haven't been selling 959 00:43:18,153 --> 00:43:19,621 any fucking wheels, any fucking gears, 960 00:43:19,721 --> 00:43:21,189 and y'all damn sure ain't been selling 961 00:43:21,289 --> 00:43:23,358 no teeny tiny fucking brushes. 962 00:43:23,458 --> 00:43:26,161 Okay. I know we're not supposed to say this anymore 963 00:43:26,261 --> 00:43:28,030 because it's not acceptable or whatever, 964 00:43:28,129 --> 00:43:30,231 but you're being a bitch. 965 00:43:30,332 --> 00:43:31,399 Yeah, and I would say that 966 00:43:31,499 --> 00:43:32,634 the way you're acting right now 967 00:43:32,734 --> 00:43:34,135 is actually very bitch-y. 968 00:43:34,235 --> 00:43:37,138 Okay, well, I can show y'all two bitches a bitch. 969 00:43:38,873 --> 00:43:40,141 ♪ They say boys'll be boys ♪ 970 00:43:40,241 --> 00:43:41,476 ♪ Man, what a crock of shit ♪ 971 00:43:41,576 --> 00:43:43,012 ♪ These men They hold all the cards ♪ 972 00:43:43,111 --> 00:43:44,179 ♪ It makes me want to spit ♪ 973 00:43:44,279 --> 00:43:45,413 ♪ They always fucking shit up ♪ 974 00:43:45,513 --> 00:43:46,848 ♪ They're always making a mess ♪ 975 00:43:46,948 --> 00:43:49,551 ♪ But I'mma tell you the secret to my success ♪ 976 00:43:49,651 --> 00:43:51,920 ♪ Men are all stupid Weak little boys ♪ 977 00:43:52,021 --> 00:43:54,656 ♪ They're not very smart They just make lots of noise ♪ 978 00:43:54,756 --> 00:43:55,957 ♪ They got their nose up my ass ♪ 979 00:43:56,058 --> 00:43:57,192 ♪ They want to be teacher's pet ♪ 980 00:43:57,292 --> 00:43:58,460 ♪ And so I keep them on their toes ♪ 981 00:43:58,560 --> 00:43:59,561 ♪ And make those fuckers sweat ♪ 982 00:43:59,661 --> 00:44:01,229 -♪ Girls ♪ -♪ Girls ♪ 983 00:44:01,329 --> 00:44:02,831 ♪ Sit on your throne and just act like a queen ♪ 984 00:44:02,931 --> 00:44:05,634 ♪ And these boys will be dying to kiss the ring ♪ 985 00:44:05,734 --> 00:44:08,169 ♪ Train them to beg like the dogs that they are ♪ 986 00:44:08,269 --> 00:44:10,205 ♪ And you'll find that it ain't no thing ♪ 987 00:44:10,305 --> 00:44:13,642 ♪ To out-alpha the alpha ♪ 988 00:44:13,742 --> 00:44:15,343 ♪ Mm-hmm ♪ 989 00:44:15,443 --> 00:44:18,047 -♪ Outfox the fox ♪ -♪ Ah, yeah ♪ 990 00:44:18,146 --> 00:44:20,849 ♪ Outfox the fox ♪ 991 00:44:20,949 --> 00:44:23,318 ♪ Outsmart all these dummies ♪ 992 00:44:23,418 --> 00:44:25,987 ♪ Outsmart all these dummies ♪ 993 00:44:26,088 --> 00:44:28,556 ♪ Out-fuck all these cocks ♪ 994 00:44:28,657 --> 00:44:31,127 ♪ Out-fuck all these cocks ♪ 995 00:44:31,226 --> 00:44:33,695 ♪ They'll cop a feel or smack yo ass ♪ 996 00:44:33,795 --> 00:44:36,297 ♪ And then they'll suck their little thumbs ♪ 997 00:44:36,398 --> 00:44:39,300 ♪ These boys all want a kiss from mommy ♪ 998 00:44:39,401 --> 00:44:41,336 ♪ They're all scummy sacks of cum ♪ 999 00:44:41,436 --> 00:44:44,239 ♪ So put your foot right on they throat ♪ 1000 00:44:44,339 --> 00:44:47,809 ♪ If they are standing in your way and just ♪ 1001 00:44:47,909 --> 00:44:52,447 ♪ Make those fuckers pay ♪ 1002 00:44:58,186 --> 00:44:59,487 ♪ Stackin' my dollars Making my coin ♪ 1003 00:44:59,587 --> 00:45:00,755 ♪ Got drip in the back of my truck ♪ 1004 00:45:00,855 --> 00:45:02,257 ♪ Bank vault apartment Swimming in cash ♪ 1005 00:45:02,357 --> 00:45:03,625 ♪ Scrooge McFucking McDuck ♪ 1006 00:45:03,725 --> 00:45:05,727 ♪ I always stay stunnin' My shit is brand-new ♪ 1007 00:45:05,827 --> 00:45:07,962 ♪ My tuna is ahi My beef is Wagyu ♪ 1008 00:45:08,064 --> 00:45:09,998 ♪ Y'all are just servants This is my palace ♪ 1009 00:45:10,099 --> 00:45:11,332 ♪ Built it brick by brick ♪ 1010 00:45:11,433 --> 00:45:12,567 ♪ So get in a line Drop on your knees ♪ 1011 00:45:12,667 --> 00:45:13,702 ♪ And suck my fucking dick ♪ 1012 00:45:13,802 --> 00:45:15,104 ♪ Then eat my ass Lick my pussy ♪ 1013 00:45:15,203 --> 00:45:16,371 ♪ And find my clit ♪ 1014 00:45:16,471 --> 00:45:17,572 ♪ Just keep on fucking I'm not done ♪ 1015 00:45:17,672 --> 00:45:18,840 ♪ I'll tell you when to quit ♪ 1016 00:45:18,940 --> 00:45:20,076 ♪ Hell, yeah, I'm raw ♪ 1017 00:45:20,176 --> 00:45:21,376 ♪ Bitch, I'm the star ♪ 1018 00:45:21,476 --> 00:45:23,712 ♪ And yes, I'm real, boy There's no HR ♪ 1019 00:45:23,812 --> 00:45:26,414 ♪ I'm the fucking dom Don't need a fucking man ♪ 1020 00:45:26,514 --> 00:45:28,483 ♪ And by now you know my plan ♪ 1021 00:45:28,583 --> 00:45:31,153 ♪ Out-alpha the alpha ♪ 1022 00:45:31,252 --> 00:45:33,321 ♪ Out-alpha the alpha ♪ 1023 00:45:33,421 --> 00:45:35,623 ♪ Out-screw the cock ♪ 1024 00:45:35,724 --> 00:45:39,028 ♪ Yeah, out-screw these cocks ♪ 1025 00:45:39,128 --> 00:45:41,163 ♪ Outplay all these losers ♪ 1026 00:45:41,262 --> 00:45:44,166 ♪ Outplay all these losers ♪ 1027 00:45:44,265 --> 00:45:46,901 ♪ Out-juice all these nuts ♪ 1028 00:45:47,001 --> 00:45:50,172 ♪ Out-juice all these nuts ♪ 1029 00:45:50,271 --> 00:45:52,607 ♪ These baby boys can't keep the pace ♪ 1030 00:45:52,707 --> 00:45:55,243 ♪ They're all so fucking slow ♪ 1031 00:45:55,343 --> 00:45:58,180 ♪ They love acting like they run the place ♪ 1032 00:45:58,279 --> 00:46:00,582 ♪ But I'm the CEO ♪ 1033 00:46:00,682 --> 00:46:03,185 ♪ These men are fucking dinosaurs ♪ 1034 00:46:03,284 --> 00:46:05,587 ♪ About to be destroyed ♪ 1035 00:46:05,687 --> 00:46:10,425 -♪ And I'm the asteroid ♪ -♪ And I'm the asteroid ♪ 1036 00:46:10,525 --> 00:46:12,827 ♪ They've called me shrill They've called me slut ♪ 1037 00:46:12,927 --> 00:46:15,396 ♪ They've called me ice queen And what's more ♪ 1038 00:46:15,497 --> 00:46:18,299 ♪ They've called me crazy Called me loud ♪ 1039 00:46:18,399 --> 00:46:21,569 ♪ They've called me bitch and cunt and whore ♪ 1040 00:46:21,669 --> 00:46:24,039 ♪ Imagine, if you will ♪ 1041 00:46:24,140 --> 00:46:26,841 ♪ We murdered all the males ♪ 1042 00:46:26,941 --> 00:46:29,211 ♪ A woman-driven world ♪ 1043 00:46:29,310 --> 00:46:32,181 ♪ Where equity prevails ♪ 1044 00:46:32,280 --> 00:46:34,582 ♪ Sadly That's not how it is ♪ 1045 00:46:34,682 --> 00:46:36,818 ♪ But don't you get upset ♪ 1046 00:46:36,918 --> 00:46:39,654 ♪ I'll put those boys right in their place ♪ 1047 00:46:39,754 --> 00:46:41,456 ♪ Goddamn, that makes me wet ♪ 1048 00:46:45,227 --> 00:46:47,896 Trevor, Craig, you're fired. 1049 00:46:49,364 --> 00:46:51,200 ♪ Out-alpha the alpha ♪ 1050 00:46:51,299 --> 00:46:53,935 ♪ Out-alpha the alpha ♪ 1051 00:46:54,036 --> 00:46:56,404 ♪ Outfox the fox ♪ 1052 00:46:56,504 --> 00:46:59,074 ♪ Outfox the fox, ah ♪ 1053 00:46:59,175 --> 00:47:01,277 ♪ Outsmart all these dummies ♪ 1054 00:47:01,376 --> 00:47:04,246 ♪ Outsmart all the dummies ♪ 1055 00:47:04,345 --> 00:47:07,016 ♪ Out-fuck all these cocks ♪ 1056 00:47:07,116 --> 00:47:09,384 ♪ Out-fuck all these cocks ♪ 1057 00:47:09,484 --> 00:47:12,487 ♪ Out-alpha the alpha ♪ 1058 00:47:12,587 --> 00:47:15,090 ♪ Out-alpha the alpha Out-alpha the alpha ♪ 1059 00:47:15,191 --> 00:47:17,325 ♪ Out-alpha the alpha ♪ 1060 00:47:17,425 --> 00:47:20,262 ♪ Ah ♪ 1061 00:47:23,032 --> 00:47:24,966 Bitch, that was fun. 1062 00:47:25,067 --> 00:47:27,303 Okay, now, back to the story. 1063 00:47:42,550 --> 00:47:43,985 You know, fuck that fucking job. 1064 00:47:44,086 --> 00:47:46,354 -Who needs that fucking job? -Shh! 1065 00:47:46,454 --> 00:47:48,224 -Ugh. -Rude. 1066 00:47:48,324 --> 00:47:50,859 -Oh! Look, look, look. -Oh, oh. 1067 00:47:51,526 --> 00:47:54,096 Excuse me. Excuse me, ma'am. 1068 00:47:57,132 --> 00:47:58,366 M-Ma'am? 1069 00:48:16,784 --> 00:48:19,487 Ugh. Ugh. 1070 00:48:25,493 --> 00:48:27,528 Well, this is ridiculous. 1071 00:48:27,629 --> 00:48:28,897 I don't see him anywhere. 1072 00:48:28,997 --> 00:48:31,499 I'm just going to go right back ho... 1073 00:48:32,034 --> 00:48:34,569 -Evelyn? -Harris? 1074 00:48:34,669 --> 00:48:36,638 What are you doing here? 1075 00:48:36,738 --> 00:48:38,340 I'm having a romantic dinner... 1076 00:48:38,439 --> 00:48:39,540 -...with Trevor. -...with Craig. 1077 00:48:39,641 --> 00:48:41,976 Oh, my God. 1078 00:48:42,077 --> 00:48:43,245 The twins. 1079 00:48:43,345 --> 00:48:45,513 The twins must have found one another, 1080 00:48:45,613 --> 00:48:47,916 switched places to meet the parent they never knew 1081 00:48:48,017 --> 00:48:50,952 and then tricked us into coming here and reuniting. 1082 00:48:51,486 --> 00:48:53,022 Those rascals. 1083 00:48:53,122 --> 00:48:55,190 Well, I'm flummoxed. 1084 00:48:55,291 --> 00:48:56,958 I'm dumbfounded. 1085 00:48:57,059 --> 00:48:59,627 Those were always two of your best qualities. 1086 00:48:59,727 --> 00:49:02,797 Oh, Harris. 1087 00:49:02,897 --> 00:49:06,135 My God, Evelyn. How long has it been? 1088 00:49:06,235 --> 00:49:09,138 260 years. 1089 00:49:09,238 --> 00:49:13,875 It's been 260 years since we last saw one another? 1090 00:49:13,975 --> 00:49:17,445 Oh, I thought you meant since the French and Indian War. 1091 00:49:17,545 --> 00:49:20,715 Oh, I have no idea how long it's been since we... 1092 00:49:21,783 --> 00:49:23,419 split up. 1093 00:49:23,518 --> 00:49:27,122 Yes, well, at any rate, it's been a long time. 1094 00:49:27,655 --> 00:49:30,625 Yes. Yes, it has. 1095 00:49:32,261 --> 00:49:33,594 Garcon? 1096 00:49:34,562 --> 00:49:37,498 -Garcon? -Yes, madame? 1097 00:49:37,598 --> 00:49:39,901 Um, my apologies, but, uh, 1098 00:49:40,001 --> 00:49:42,737 we're actually going to have to cancel our reservation. 1099 00:49:42,837 --> 00:49:45,307 Yes, there's been a mistake. 1100 00:49:45,407 --> 00:49:46,674 -Oh, ooh. -Oh, oh. 1101 00:49:46,774 --> 00:49:48,509 Ah, but I hear that this wine 1102 00:49:48,609 --> 00:49:50,545 will be of particular interest to you both. 1103 00:49:50,645 --> 00:49:53,648 It's a 1970 Domaine Leroy, like you had 1104 00:49:53,748 --> 00:49:55,084 -on your honeymoon. -Like we had on our honeymoon. 1105 00:49:55,184 --> 00:49:57,453 And it's in a bottle. 1106 00:49:57,552 --> 00:50:00,588 Well, it is a very nice wine. 1107 00:50:01,290 --> 00:50:03,558 And it is free, after all. 1108 00:50:03,658 --> 00:50:06,261 -It's not. Enjoy. -Mmm. 1109 00:50:08,330 --> 00:50:09,697 A toast, 1110 00:50:09,797 --> 00:50:12,000 to our clever, stubborn boys. 1111 00:50:12,101 --> 00:50:15,304 They are the one thing we got mostly right. 1112 00:50:15,404 --> 00:50:17,638 Mostly. 1113 00:50:19,241 --> 00:50:22,211 And... dissolve. 1114 00:50:22,311 --> 00:50:24,645 -Mmm. -God, I've missed this. 1115 00:50:24,746 --> 00:50:27,082 And I haven't even thought about the Sewer Boys once. 1116 00:50:27,182 --> 00:50:31,220 Those fucking things are still alive? Ugh. 1117 00:50:31,320 --> 00:50:33,621 God, how old are they now? 1118 00:50:33,721 --> 00:50:34,989 They're younger, actually. 1119 00:50:35,090 --> 00:50:38,027 They operate outside of linear time. 1120 00:50:38,127 --> 00:50:40,528 Sure. I'm familiar. 1121 00:50:42,164 --> 00:50:45,167 What went wrong between us, Evelyn, 1122 00:50:45,267 --> 00:50:46,901 all those many moons ago? 1123 00:50:47,001 --> 00:50:50,072 Oh, what goes wrong with any couple? 1124 00:50:50,172 --> 00:50:52,274 We were young and foolish. 1125 00:50:52,374 --> 00:50:54,575 -We drifted apart. -Hmm. 1126 00:50:54,675 --> 00:50:56,744 And you did start fucking men. 1127 00:50:57,545 --> 00:50:59,747 All the time, fucking men. 1128 00:51:01,383 --> 00:51:04,119 There are always little clues that a person might be gay. 1129 00:51:04,219 --> 00:51:07,322 Well, it hardly matters now, since my pussy fell off. 1130 00:51:07,423 --> 00:51:09,258 Yes, it hardly matters now. 1131 00:51:11,360 --> 00:51:12,860 I'm sorry, what? 1132 00:51:13,628 --> 00:51:14,929 Delicious. 1133 00:51:17,266 --> 00:51:18,599 Hmm. 1134 00:51:18,699 --> 00:51:20,302 Evelyn, is something the matter? 1135 00:51:21,537 --> 00:51:23,771 Oh, you're choking. Oh! 1136 00:51:23,871 --> 00:51:24,672 Yes. 1137 00:51:29,545 --> 00:51:30,479 Hmm? 1138 00:51:30,578 --> 00:51:32,747 Oh. Harris? 1139 00:51:33,115 --> 00:51:34,216 Yes? 1140 00:51:34,316 --> 00:51:36,051 You're still holding onto me. 1141 00:51:36,151 --> 00:51:38,487 -Oh, I'm sorry. -Oh, no, no. It's fine. 1142 00:51:38,586 --> 00:51:39,720 -It's... -Oh. 1143 00:51:39,821 --> 00:51:41,457 It's more than fine. 1144 00:51:46,295 --> 00:51:47,929 What are we even doing? 1145 00:51:48,030 --> 00:51:49,064 I'm not sure. 1146 00:51:51,100 --> 00:51:52,633 Aren't you gay? 1147 00:51:52,733 --> 00:51:54,602 I-I don't know. It's like I'm... 1148 00:51:54,702 --> 00:51:56,971 I'm attracted to both men and women. 1149 00:51:57,072 --> 00:52:00,608 Huh. Well, now I have heard everything. 1150 00:52:00,708 --> 00:52:04,480 But, uh, also, and correct me if I'm wrong, 1151 00:52:04,580 --> 00:52:08,649 but, uh, didn't you just say that your... 1152 00:52:10,552 --> 00:52:11,819 ...pussy fell off? 1153 00:52:11,919 --> 00:52:15,823 Yes. Trevor had to kill it with a flip-flop in Greece. 1154 00:52:15,923 --> 00:52:20,028 But what he doesn't know is, I went back afterward, 1155 00:52:20,129 --> 00:52:23,565 scooped it up and put it into a plastic bag, 1156 00:52:23,664 --> 00:52:27,236 and now I always carry it with me 1157 00:52:27,336 --> 00:52:29,538 so that I feel like a woman. 1158 00:52:29,637 --> 00:52:31,806 Well, now I've heard everything. 1159 00:52:31,906 --> 00:52:33,908 Oh, my God. 1160 00:52:34,009 --> 00:52:35,910 Well, that was unexpected. 1161 00:52:36,978 --> 00:52:39,348 -Uh, oh. Oh, I'm sorry. -Oh. 1162 00:52:39,448 --> 00:52:40,715 These are yours, those are mine. 1163 00:52:40,815 --> 00:52:42,184 I'm so embarrassed. Yes. 1164 00:52:42,284 --> 00:52:44,819 Yes. 1165 00:52:45,454 --> 00:52:46,522 Oh, my God. 1166 00:52:49,324 --> 00:52:50,292 So... 1167 00:52:51,792 --> 00:52:53,861 we can be together. 1168 00:52:53,961 --> 00:52:57,199 Why, yes. Yes, we can. 1169 00:53:05,541 --> 00:53:08,343 ♪ I thought these feelings ♪ 1170 00:53:08,443 --> 00:53:10,678 ♪ All had died ♪ 1171 00:53:10,778 --> 00:53:13,881 ♪ But now you're here ♪ 1172 00:53:13,981 --> 00:53:17,752 ♪ And now I find ♪ 1173 00:53:17,852 --> 00:53:22,790 ♪ I've missed you very much ♪ 1174 00:53:24,926 --> 00:53:29,830 ♪ I've missed your hair Your eyes, your face ♪ 1175 00:53:29,931 --> 00:53:32,634 ♪ But now you're here ♪ 1176 00:53:32,733 --> 00:53:34,802 ♪ And now I yearn ♪ 1177 00:53:34,902 --> 00:53:40,409 ♪ For a tender lover's ♪ 1178 00:53:40,509 --> 00:53:42,710 ♪ Touch ♪ 1179 00:53:43,945 --> 00:53:45,480 -Wow. -Wow. 1180 00:53:51,486 --> 00:53:54,822 ♪ I feel the beat, beat, beat of your thumping heart ♪ 1181 00:53:54,922 --> 00:53:56,458 ♪ It's just my body telling you ♪ 1182 00:53:56,558 --> 00:53:57,858 ♪ I'm ready to start ♪ 1183 00:53:57,959 --> 00:54:00,696 ♪ Well, let's do it now because I'm ready to go ♪ 1184 00:54:00,795 --> 00:54:02,097 ♪ You know I like it rough ♪ 1185 00:54:02,197 --> 00:54:03,931 ♪ So don't you take it slow ♪ 1186 00:54:04,032 --> 00:54:07,035 ♪ Oh, oh, oh, oh ♪ 1187 00:54:07,135 --> 00:54:08,670 ♪ I'm desperate for your dick ♪ 1188 00:54:08,769 --> 00:54:10,439 ♪ Desperate for your pussy ♪ 1189 00:54:10,539 --> 00:54:11,739 ♪ Hungry for your dick ♪ 1190 00:54:11,839 --> 00:54:13,874 ♪ Give me Give me that pussy ♪ 1191 00:54:13,975 --> 00:54:17,045 ♪ I got the taste, taste taste of you on my tongue ♪ 1192 00:54:17,145 --> 00:54:20,148 ♪ I want to get real wild like when we were young ♪ 1193 00:54:20,249 --> 00:54:23,352 ♪ Well, let's do it now because I'm ready to go ♪ 1194 00:54:23,452 --> 00:54:26,688 ♪ Roll over here, baby 'Cause I'm fixing to blow ♪ 1195 00:54:26,787 --> 00:54:29,890 ♪ Oh, oh, oh, oh ♪ 1196 00:54:29,991 --> 00:54:31,560 ♪ I'm desperate for your snatch ♪ 1197 00:54:31,660 --> 00:54:33,462 ♪ I'm desperate for your cock ♪ 1198 00:54:33,562 --> 00:54:34,663 ♪ I want vagina ♪ 1199 00:54:34,762 --> 00:54:37,332 ♪ I'm talking about penis ♪ 1200 00:54:52,847 --> 00:54:55,550 ♪ I'm desperate ♪ 1201 00:54:55,651 --> 00:55:00,555 ♪ For your love ♪ 1202 00:55:00,656 --> 00:55:02,357 ♪ Desperate for your love ♪ 1203 00:55:08,929 --> 00:55:10,465 And stay out. 1204 00:55:10,565 --> 00:55:13,735 Oh, I had a cape. Ugh. 1205 00:55:13,834 --> 00:55:15,970 ♪ We did it, we did it ♪ 1206 00:55:16,071 --> 00:55:17,039 ♪ We did it ♪ 1207 00:55:17,139 --> 00:55:18,173 Harris, we're being mugged. 1208 00:55:18,273 --> 00:55:19,641 -We're gonna die. -No, no. 1209 00:55:19,741 --> 00:55:21,176 -No, darling. -Huh? What? 1210 00:55:21,276 --> 00:55:22,678 It-it's our boys. 1211 00:55:22,778 --> 00:55:23,911 Oh, my God! 1212 00:55:24,012 --> 00:55:25,880 -It's so good to see you. -Oh, yay. 1213 00:55:25,980 --> 00:55:28,483 To see you both together. 1214 00:55:28,583 --> 00:55:30,985 Now, why'd you switch places? 1215 00:55:31,086 --> 00:55:33,055 I guess we thought, since you gave us up, 1216 00:55:33,155 --> 00:55:34,790 -maybe it meant you... -Hated us. 1217 00:55:34,889 --> 00:55:37,025 Hated you? No. 1218 00:55:37,125 --> 00:55:38,859 We hardly even knew you. 1219 00:55:38,959 --> 00:55:42,164 We drew straws at the hospital and each took a kid. 1220 00:55:43,665 --> 00:55:45,567 I just can't get over it. 1221 00:55:45,667 --> 00:55:47,436 All of us, reunited. 1222 00:55:47,536 --> 00:55:48,936 It's just like we planned. 1223 00:55:49,037 --> 00:55:51,373 And now that you're back in love again, 1224 00:55:51,473 --> 00:55:53,375 you're gonna get married! 1225 00:55:53,475 --> 00:55:54,209 -What? -What? 1226 00:55:54,309 --> 00:55:55,843 Get married! And when you do, 1227 00:55:55,943 --> 00:55:57,112 do you think you'll change your last names? 1228 00:55:57,212 --> 00:55:58,846 Oh! Should we change our last names? 1229 00:55:58,946 --> 00:56:00,716 -No, wait. -We can all live together. 1230 00:56:00,816 --> 00:56:01,916 Then every day would be like Christmas. 1231 00:56:02,017 --> 00:56:03,652 -Yes. -Unless we're Jewish, 1232 00:56:03,752 --> 00:56:05,853 then every day would be like Easter. 1233 00:56:05,953 --> 00:56:09,825 Boys, boys, please, I mean, Craig, I just met you. 1234 00:56:09,957 --> 00:56:12,427 -I'm Trevor. -Exactly. And I'm gay. 1235 00:56:12,527 --> 00:56:14,663 Yeah, but you just had hot, awesome sex with Mom, 1236 00:56:14,763 --> 00:56:16,264 so now maybe you're straight. 1237 00:56:16,365 --> 00:56:18,533 It's clear that we were both just longing 1238 00:56:18,633 --> 00:56:20,068 for some physical touch. 1239 00:56:20,168 --> 00:56:21,837 We were fucking horny. 1240 00:56:21,936 --> 00:56:25,707 Right, exactly, but our marriage didn't work. 1241 00:56:25,807 --> 00:56:27,709 And I'm an independent woman. 1242 00:56:27,809 --> 00:56:32,347 I do not like when people live with... 1243 00:56:39,855 --> 00:56:41,223 me. 1244 00:56:41,323 --> 00:56:45,794 And I-I feel like maybe I haven't stressed this enough, 1245 00:56:45,893 --> 00:56:47,396 I do fuck men. 1246 00:56:47,496 --> 00:56:50,098 Not as often as I'd like, but whenever I get the chance. 1247 00:56:50,198 --> 00:56:52,367 Boys, listen now. 1248 00:56:52,467 --> 00:56:54,236 We love you, but... 1249 00:56:54,736 --> 00:57:01,076 we will never... 1250 00:57:02,110 --> 00:57:04,112 get married again. 1251 00:57:06,581 --> 00:57:08,916 This is stupid! 1252 00:57:09,017 --> 00:57:11,620 I hate you! And I hate both of you! 1253 00:57:11,720 --> 00:57:12,821 We lost everything 1254 00:57:12,920 --> 00:57:14,256 -because of you. -No. 1255 00:57:14,356 --> 00:57:16,057 Now we don't even have a family? 1256 00:57:16,158 --> 00:57:18,193 We can still be a family, 1257 00:57:18,293 --> 00:57:20,595 even if your mother and I aren't together. 1258 00:57:20,695 --> 00:57:22,464 No, not the kind we wanted. 1259 00:57:22,564 --> 00:57:25,233 You split us up when we were babies. 1260 00:57:25,333 --> 00:57:27,669 I mean, that's fucking psycho! 1261 00:57:27,769 --> 00:57:29,371 Boys, we didn't realize 1262 00:57:29,471 --> 00:57:31,473 that being lied to your entire lives 1263 00:57:31,573 --> 00:57:33,175 would upset you this much. 1264 00:57:33,275 --> 00:57:35,911 But at least we have each other now. 1265 00:57:36,011 --> 00:57:37,446 -No, no, no, no, no. -No, no, no, no. No, Dad. 1266 00:57:37,546 --> 00:57:39,181 -Yay! Yay! -No. No, Mommy. 1267 00:57:39,281 --> 00:57:41,183 -Yay. Yay. -No, Mommy. 1268 00:57:41,283 --> 00:57:43,485 -No. No. -Stop it. Stop it. 1269 00:57:44,820 --> 00:57:46,388 -Yay. -No. 1270 00:57:48,089 --> 00:57:49,057 Come on, Craig. 1271 00:57:49,157 --> 00:57:50,325 -Trevor. -Trevor. 1272 00:57:50,991 --> 00:57:52,527 Let's go. 1273 00:57:52,627 --> 00:57:54,262 -Yeah. -Ugh. 1274 00:57:54,362 --> 00:57:56,498 Don't. Don't leave like this. 1275 00:57:57,432 --> 00:57:58,467 Oh... 1276 00:57:59,967 --> 00:58:02,204 Which one is which? 1277 00:58:02,970 --> 00:58:04,172 We can still fix this. 1278 00:58:04,272 --> 00:58:05,707 We just need to get Mom and Dad to... 1279 00:58:05,807 --> 00:58:07,209 No, Trevor, just-- No. 1280 00:58:07,309 --> 00:58:09,077 -You don't mean that. -I do. 1281 00:58:09,177 --> 00:58:12,347 I-I mean no, and no means no this time. 1282 00:58:12,447 --> 00:58:14,649 I'm done, okay? This is done. 1283 00:58:14,749 --> 00:58:15,917 What are you saying? 1284 00:58:16,017 --> 00:58:18,019 I-I don't know what I'm saying. 1285 00:58:18,119 --> 00:58:20,489 I've never felt this way before. 1286 00:58:20,589 --> 00:58:22,691 Usually when I want something, I get it. 1287 00:58:22,791 --> 00:58:25,393 In fact, it almost feels like society and all its systems 1288 00:58:25,494 --> 00:58:27,963 were built so that a man who looks like me can succeed. 1289 00:58:28,063 --> 00:58:30,832 And so, now to want something and not get it, 1290 00:58:30,932 --> 00:58:33,235 it-it makes me feel... feel... 1291 00:58:33,335 --> 00:58:35,303 -Feel what, Craig? What? -Feelings! 1292 00:58:35,403 --> 00:58:38,073 Bad ones! And I want to make them go away! 1293 00:58:38,173 --> 00:58:40,509 -This is just like you. -Excuse me? 1294 00:58:40,609 --> 00:58:42,944 To give up. I bet you give up on your boner 1295 00:58:43,044 --> 00:58:44,212 before it's even fully hard. 1296 00:58:44,312 --> 00:58:46,515 Fuck you. I have never given up on a semi. 1297 00:58:46,615 --> 00:58:48,250 My doctors say I am medically horny. 1298 00:58:48,350 --> 00:58:50,952 I never lost anything until you showed up. 1299 00:58:51,052 --> 00:58:52,554 You ruined my life! 1300 00:58:52,654 --> 00:58:54,122 You ruined mine, okay? 1301 00:58:54,222 --> 00:58:55,490 I knew this wouldn't work! 1302 00:58:55,590 --> 00:58:58,293 It would still work if you weren't a fucking quitter. 1303 00:58:58,393 --> 00:59:01,062 We didn't quit. We failed! 1304 00:59:04,466 --> 00:59:05,567 Well, if that's how you feel about it, 1305 00:59:05,667 --> 00:59:07,369 then I guess there's nothing left to say. 1306 00:59:07,469 --> 00:59:08,970 I guess not. 1307 00:59:09,070 --> 00:59:10,539 Goodbye forever, Craig. 1308 00:59:10,639 --> 00:59:12,340 Goodbye to you, too. 1309 00:59:12,440 --> 00:59:13,909 For forever. 1310 00:59:27,789 --> 00:59:28,924 Wait, you... 1311 00:59:29,025 --> 00:59:30,759 You've lived next to me this entire time? 1312 00:59:30,859 --> 00:59:32,294 I guess so. 1313 00:59:33,194 --> 00:59:34,629 That's weird. 1314 00:59:35,130 --> 00:59:36,565 Yeah. 1315 00:59:36,665 --> 00:59:37,666 That is weird. 1316 00:59:44,306 --> 00:59:49,844 ♪ No one understands what I've been through ♪ 1317 00:59:52,380 --> 00:59:58,420 ♪ No one knows what it's like to be ♪ 1318 00:59:59,421 --> 01:00:03,658 ♪ I just lost my brother twin ♪ 1319 01:00:07,128 --> 01:00:11,666 ♪ Who also was my only friend ♪ 1320 01:00:14,569 --> 01:00:19,774 ♪ The only one who understands ♪ 1321 01:00:22,210 --> 01:00:23,545 ♪ Is... ♪ 1322 01:00:40,695 --> 01:00:41,997 Jesus, Craig. 1323 01:00:42,098 --> 01:00:43,565 You look like shit. 1324 01:00:43,665 --> 01:00:45,200 I'm fine. Can it. 1325 01:00:45,300 --> 01:00:47,036 Hey, that's my job. 1326 01:00:47,135 --> 01:00:48,136 Shut up. 1327 01:00:48,236 --> 01:00:49,237 No, you shut up. 1328 01:00:49,337 --> 01:00:50,639 You know what? 1329 01:00:50,739 --> 01:00:52,440 Actually, fuck off. 1330 01:00:53,375 --> 01:00:55,343 Get the fuck out of here! 1331 01:01:00,482 --> 01:01:02,517 Oh, hey, hey. Can I bum one of those? 1332 01:01:02,617 --> 01:01:04,519 Man, I already gave you a whole pack. 1333 01:01:04,619 --> 01:01:06,921 Aren't you supposed to be some sort of hung hotshot? 1334 01:01:07,023 --> 01:01:08,456 He was once. 1335 01:01:09,190 --> 01:01:10,725 But he got fired. 1336 01:01:10,825 --> 01:01:12,094 And I heard 1337 01:01:12,193 --> 01:01:14,262 that while his penis is large, 1338 01:01:14,362 --> 01:01:16,431 it's only slightly above average. 1339 01:01:17,999 --> 01:01:20,136 No. That's not true. 1340 01:01:20,235 --> 01:01:21,936 It's very large! 1341 01:01:22,704 --> 01:01:23,872 Come back! 1342 01:01:26,274 --> 01:01:27,676 -Harris. -Hmm? 1343 01:01:28,777 --> 01:01:30,478 I'm worried. 1344 01:01:31,179 --> 01:01:32,213 About us? 1345 01:01:32,313 --> 01:01:33,715 No, not about us. 1346 01:01:33,815 --> 01:01:36,384 We'll be friends, and sometimes we'll fuck. 1347 01:01:36,484 --> 01:01:39,354 Okay, yes, same page, precisely. 1348 01:01:39,454 --> 01:01:42,757 I was talking about the boys. 1349 01:01:42,857 --> 01:01:43,825 Oh, them. 1350 01:01:43,925 --> 01:01:45,660 What are we going to do? 1351 01:01:46,394 --> 01:01:47,529 I don't know. 1352 01:01:47,629 --> 01:01:49,264 Should we drown them in the bathtub 1353 01:01:49,364 --> 01:01:51,266 in the old-fashioned way? 1354 01:01:53,968 --> 01:01:55,336 They didn't drown them. 1355 01:01:55,437 --> 01:01:57,539 They kidnapped them. 1356 01:02:00,775 --> 01:02:02,243 Surprise! 1357 01:02:02,343 --> 01:02:04,746 Mom? Dad? What the fuck? 1358 01:02:04,846 --> 01:02:07,482 -And where's my beard? -Where's my beard? 1359 01:02:07,582 --> 01:02:08,950 Those beards were fucking awesome. 1360 01:02:09,051 --> 01:02:10,086 Yes. 1361 01:02:10,186 --> 01:02:12,253 -No, they were fake. -And shitty looking. 1362 01:02:12,353 --> 01:02:13,655 Exactly. 1363 01:02:13,755 --> 01:02:17,026 Boys, we see now that splitting you up at birth 1364 01:02:17,126 --> 01:02:18,593 was borderline abusive, 1365 01:02:19,327 --> 01:02:21,296 but parenting's hard. 1366 01:02:21,396 --> 01:02:24,365 Everyone makes mistakes, right? 1367 01:02:24,466 --> 01:02:27,268 That's it? That's why you kidnapped us? 1368 01:02:27,368 --> 01:02:30,472 Oh, can you even kidnap an adult? 1369 01:02:30,572 --> 01:02:32,540 -Yes. -Listen, 1370 01:02:32,640 --> 01:02:34,442 we didn't want to be kidnapped, all right? 1371 01:02:34,542 --> 01:02:36,311 -We wanted you to apologize. -Right. 1372 01:02:36,411 --> 01:02:38,313 We are apologizing. 1373 01:02:38,413 --> 01:02:40,615 We're sorry that you're mad at us, 1374 01:02:40,715 --> 01:02:42,684 and we'd rather that you not be. 1375 01:02:42,784 --> 01:02:45,286 You know what? We would love to not be mad at you, 1376 01:02:45,386 --> 01:02:48,857 if you would just do what we want and get married. 1377 01:02:48,957 --> 01:02:51,726 Oh, eat me. Not again. 1378 01:02:51,826 --> 01:02:55,030 You two really are stubborn. 1379 01:02:55,131 --> 01:02:56,264 You two are stubborn. 1380 01:02:56,364 --> 01:02:57,398 Uh-oh, dinnertime. 1381 01:02:57,499 --> 01:02:59,267 -Why won't you change for us? -Yes. 1382 01:02:59,367 --> 01:03:02,837 I don't even know what there is to change. 1383 01:03:03,872 --> 01:03:05,840 This, Dad. Change this. 1384 01:03:05,940 --> 01:03:08,777 Oh! Now you've upset them. 1385 01:03:08,877 --> 01:03:10,678 -Oh. -Oh. Careful. 1386 01:03:10,779 --> 01:03:12,380 They don't like sudden movements. 1387 01:03:12,480 --> 01:03:13,915 -Ugh. -Oh! 1388 01:03:14,016 --> 01:03:15,217 Oh! 1389 01:03:15,316 --> 01:03:17,652 Oh, they're out. They're out. Ew, ew, ew! 1390 01:03:17,752 --> 01:03:21,322 Motherfucker! 1391 01:03:21,422 --> 01:03:24,226 Shut up! 1392 01:03:24,359 --> 01:03:26,928 Backpack. Whisper. Dear God, no! 1393 01:03:29,098 --> 01:03:30,665 Sewer Boys. 1394 01:03:31,033 --> 01:03:32,767 My Sewer Boys. 1395 01:03:34,803 --> 01:03:37,806 They've returned to the slimy depths 1396 01:03:37,906 --> 01:03:39,607 from whence they came. 1397 01:03:44,180 --> 01:03:45,446 They've gone down the pipes. 1398 01:03:45,547 --> 01:03:47,782 -Oh. -Back into the sewers. 1399 01:03:47,882 --> 01:03:48,716 I have to go after them. 1400 01:03:48,817 --> 01:03:50,152 Go after them? 1401 01:03:50,252 --> 01:03:52,353 But he's, like, 40 years old, I bet. 1402 01:03:52,453 --> 01:03:54,422 What do we all think of this cape? 1403 01:03:54,522 --> 01:03:55,990 I know, 1404 01:03:56,091 --> 01:03:59,195 it's too drab. I'm gonna go with the Valentino. 1405 01:03:59,295 --> 01:04:02,330 Are you sure this is a good idea? 1406 01:04:02,430 --> 01:04:04,233 Sure as schadenfreude. 1407 01:04:04,332 --> 01:04:05,733 I'm going in. 1408 01:04:05,834 --> 01:04:10,105 A sometimes-gay man all alone in the sewers? 1409 01:04:10,206 --> 01:04:12,707 Seems dangerous. 1410 01:04:12,807 --> 01:04:13,842 It is, 1411 01:04:14,609 --> 01:04:16,878 but those Sewer Boys, 1412 01:04:16,978 --> 01:04:18,513 they're my whole life. 1413 01:04:20,915 --> 01:04:22,251 Au revoir, my dear. 1414 01:04:22,350 --> 01:04:24,485 Oh, oh. 1415 01:04:26,454 --> 01:04:29,124 Goddamn it. 1416 01:04:29,225 --> 01:04:31,759 I just got these pants. 1417 01:04:32,627 --> 01:04:34,296 Come on, Mom, let's get you home. 1418 01:04:34,395 --> 01:04:35,463 But Harris is all alone and... 1419 01:04:35,563 --> 01:04:36,731 Oh, fuck him. 1420 01:04:36,831 --> 01:04:38,466 And what do you care? Don't you have to go back 1421 01:04:38,566 --> 01:04:40,568 to shutting out the entire world? 1422 01:04:42,204 --> 01:04:45,140 ♪ I'm 93 ♪ 1423 01:04:45,241 --> 01:04:48,310 ♪ No, 94 ♪ 1424 01:04:48,409 --> 01:04:51,546 ♪ That's not so bad ♪ 1425 01:04:51,646 --> 01:04:54,983 ♪ I do want ♪ 1426 01:04:55,084 --> 01:04:58,087 ♪ More ♪ 1427 01:05:17,239 --> 01:05:20,775 I'm coming, Harris! 1428 01:05:20,875 --> 01:05:22,744 What the fuck? 1429 01:05:22,844 --> 01:05:24,179 Jesus Christ. 1430 01:05:24,280 --> 01:05:26,948 Ugh. We're not going in there, right? 1431 01:05:27,049 --> 01:05:28,816 No fucking way. 1432 01:05:32,453 --> 01:05:34,422 -I'm gonna go in. -Okay, then me, too. 1433 01:05:34,522 --> 01:05:36,958 Whee! 1434 01:05:45,067 --> 01:05:46,868 ♪ I must run ♪ 1435 01:05:46,968 --> 01:05:48,803 ♪ To my boys ♪ 1436 01:05:48,903 --> 01:05:51,806 ♪ I must go I must run to my boys ♪ 1437 01:05:51,906 --> 01:05:53,175 Dad! 1438 01:05:53,275 --> 01:05:55,044 ♪ My God, they came ♪ 1439 01:05:55,144 --> 01:05:56,978 ♪ Could it be that I was wrong? ♪ 1440 01:05:58,180 --> 01:06:01,449 ♪ Was I running from my family all along? ♪ 1441 01:06:06,621 --> 01:06:08,390 ♪ Harris is so brave ♪ 1442 01:06:08,489 --> 01:06:10,426 ♪ The boys each found their twin ♪ 1443 01:06:10,558 --> 01:06:12,560 ♪ These men have charged back in my life ♪ 1444 01:06:12,660 --> 01:06:14,929 ♪ And changed it from within ♪ 1445 01:06:15,030 --> 01:06:16,965 ♪ Up is down ♪ 1446 01:06:17,066 --> 01:06:19,168 ♪ Left is right ♪ 1447 01:06:19,268 --> 01:06:22,104 ♪ And even underground ♪ 1448 01:06:22,204 --> 01:06:24,906 ♪ My world feels bright ♪ 1449 01:06:29,178 --> 01:06:30,778 ♪ I'm sorry we fought ♪ 1450 01:06:30,878 --> 01:06:33,082 ♪ Oh, my God, dude, me, too ♪ 1451 01:06:33,182 --> 01:06:37,252 ♪ My life's so much better when I am with you ♪ 1452 01:06:37,353 --> 01:06:39,254 ♪ It's not what I wanted ♪ 1453 01:06:39,355 --> 01:06:41,423 ♪ And yet, could it be? ♪ 1454 01:06:41,522 --> 01:06:44,892 ♪ Do we have a family? ♪ 1455 01:06:50,099 --> 01:06:51,367 ♪ I must run ♪ 1456 01:06:51,467 --> 01:06:53,268 -♪ Harris is so brave ♪ -♪ You're so fucking awesome ♪ 1457 01:06:53,369 --> 01:06:57,072 -♪ Dude, you're awesome, too ♪ -♪ My life's so much better ♪ 1458 01:06:57,172 --> 01:06:58,773 -♪ When I am with you ♪ -♪ These men ♪ 1459 01:06:58,873 --> 01:07:00,242 -♪ Have charged back ♪ -♪ They're here ♪ 1460 01:07:00,342 --> 01:07:01,876 -♪ In my life ♪ -♪ I fear that I was wrong ♪ 1461 01:07:01,976 --> 01:07:05,280 ♪ I've been running from my family all along ♪ 1462 01:07:05,381 --> 01:07:07,049 ♪ Do we have a family? ♪ 1463 01:07:10,651 --> 01:07:12,454 ♪ I can't believe ♪ 1464 01:07:12,553 --> 01:07:14,456 ♪ We are together ♪ 1465 01:07:14,555 --> 01:07:15,857 ♪ Underneath the city ♪ 1466 01:07:15,957 --> 01:07:18,293 ♪ Where it smells like piss ♪ 1467 01:07:18,394 --> 01:07:20,162 ♪ As a unit ♪ 1468 01:07:20,262 --> 01:07:22,498 ♪ We are so much better ♪ 1469 01:07:22,597 --> 01:07:25,501 ♪ I never thought it would be like this ♪ 1470 01:07:25,600 --> 01:07:27,436 ♪ Also, it smells like piss ♪ 1471 01:07:27,535 --> 01:07:30,571 ♪ It smells like piss ♪ 1472 01:07:30,671 --> 01:07:32,174 ♪ We're all down here together in the sewer ♪ 1473 01:07:32,274 --> 01:07:34,209 ♪ And it smells like fucking piss ♪ 1474 01:07:37,146 --> 01:07:38,280 Backpack. Whisper. 1475 01:07:38,380 --> 01:07:40,882 Die, Sewer Boys, die. 1476 01:07:40,982 --> 01:07:42,251 Dear God! 1477 01:07:42,351 --> 01:07:45,087 No! 1478 01:07:45,187 --> 01:07:46,721 No! Oh... 1479 01:07:46,821 --> 01:07:49,224 Die, die, die! 1480 01:07:49,324 --> 01:07:50,691 -Oh! Oh, God. -Oh! 1481 01:07:50,792 --> 01:07:52,727 Okay. All right, all right, all right, 1482 01:07:52,827 --> 01:07:54,263 all right, all right. 1483 01:07:56,298 --> 01:08:00,202 Mama's gonna need you to be brave, baby girl. 1484 01:08:01,270 --> 01:08:03,405 I know, I know, 1485 01:08:03,771 --> 01:08:05,441 but you got this. 1486 01:08:05,541 --> 01:08:06,874 All right. 1487 01:08:19,620 --> 01:08:21,223 Oh! 1488 01:08:25,960 --> 01:08:26,928 Ooh! 1489 01:08:27,029 --> 01:08:28,097 Oh, my God. 1490 01:08:28,197 --> 01:08:31,732 Eat my snatch, you government piece of shit. 1491 01:08:31,833 --> 01:08:33,801 Are you all right? Oh... 1492 01:08:33,901 --> 01:08:36,771 Jesus, Mom, your pussy saved the day. 1493 01:08:36,871 --> 01:08:38,574 Backpack. Whisper. 1494 01:08:38,673 --> 01:08:40,908 Oh. 1495 01:08:42,877 --> 01:08:45,581 Wait a minute, are those... 1496 01:08:45,680 --> 01:08:47,682 their parents? 1497 01:08:47,782 --> 01:08:50,885 They're so fake and shitty looking. 1498 01:08:51,886 --> 01:08:54,323 All right, 1499 01:08:54,423 --> 01:08:55,457 let's grab the little abortions 1500 01:08:55,557 --> 01:08:56,824 and get the fuck out of here. 1501 01:09:00,028 --> 01:09:00,995 No. 1502 01:09:01,929 --> 01:09:04,099 -Let them stay. -What? 1503 01:09:04,199 --> 01:09:05,467 But you love them. 1504 01:09:05,567 --> 01:09:07,503 I do, 1505 01:09:07,603 --> 01:09:09,238 but they deserve to be with their family. 1506 01:09:11,440 --> 01:09:12,640 And... 1507 01:09:13,342 --> 01:09:15,043 maybe when they're gone... 1508 01:09:16,545 --> 01:09:18,413 I'll finally have time to be with mine. 1509 01:09:18,514 --> 01:09:24,353 Aw... 1510 01:09:24,453 --> 01:09:25,786 -Does he mean us? -Yeah. 1511 01:09:25,887 --> 01:09:27,722 -I think he means us. -Oh, good. Okay. 1512 01:09:27,822 --> 01:09:29,324 Goodbye, Backpack. 1513 01:09:29,424 --> 01:09:31,726 -Bye. -Goodbye, Whisper. 1514 01:09:32,461 --> 01:09:34,929 Goodbye, Daddy. 1515 01:09:40,435 --> 01:09:42,137 Take care of yourselves. 1516 01:09:49,611 --> 01:09:52,780 Boys, I... I'm-I'm so sorry. 1517 01:09:53,748 --> 01:09:55,050 I was wrong. 1518 01:09:55,150 --> 01:09:56,351 And I was wrong. 1519 01:09:56,451 --> 01:09:58,086 We were wrong, too. 1520 01:09:58,187 --> 01:09:59,720 -Mm. -Big hug? 1521 01:09:59,820 --> 01:10:01,056 -Oh, yeah. -Big hug. 1522 01:10:01,156 --> 01:10:02,457 Family hug. 1523 01:10:02,558 --> 01:10:03,625 And so the twins 1524 01:10:03,724 --> 01:10:05,394 finally got the family 1525 01:10:05,494 --> 01:10:07,196 they never knew they wanted. 1526 01:10:14,369 --> 01:10:16,104 They even decided to move in together, 1527 01:10:16,205 --> 01:10:19,274 to a little shitbox on the Lower East Side. 1528 01:10:25,547 --> 01:10:26,847 No. 1529 01:10:26,948 --> 01:10:28,450 No, I don't want... 1530 01:10:29,284 --> 01:10:30,352 Whatever. 1531 01:10:30,452 --> 01:10:32,421 No, not me. I can't. 1532 01:10:35,790 --> 01:10:38,260 -Craig, what's wrong? -Trevor, what's wrong? 1533 01:10:38,360 --> 01:10:39,994 I was having a nightmare. 1534 01:10:40,095 --> 01:10:42,231 -A nightmare I was gay. -Me, too. 1535 01:10:42,331 --> 01:10:44,765 I was having a gay nightmare, and I was gay in it. 1536 01:10:44,865 --> 01:10:47,236 Oh, come here. I got you. 1537 01:10:47,336 --> 01:10:49,638 -You're not gay. -You're not gay either. 1538 01:10:49,737 --> 01:10:51,106 I've got you. 1539 01:10:55,743 --> 01:10:56,944 Oh. 1540 01:10:57,045 --> 01:10:59,314 -What is it? -I don't know. 1541 01:10:59,414 --> 01:11:02,584 I guess I just thought that if I got everything I ever wanted 1542 01:11:02,684 --> 01:11:04,519 -I'd somehow feel... -Complete? 1543 01:11:04,620 --> 01:11:06,887 Yeah, but I guess I still feel... 1544 01:11:06,988 --> 01:11:09,124 -Empty inside? -Yeah. 1545 01:11:09,224 --> 01:11:10,559 It's like I just wish there was... 1546 01:11:10,659 --> 01:11:11,792 Someone who has gone through 1547 01:11:11,892 --> 01:11:12,827 exactly what you've gone through 1548 01:11:12,927 --> 01:11:14,496 and know exactly how you feel? 1549 01:11:14,596 --> 01:11:16,365 Oh, my God, 1550 01:11:16,465 --> 01:11:18,066 I do have that person. 1551 01:11:18,166 --> 01:11:19,900 -That person is... -Me. 1552 01:11:20,001 --> 01:11:22,738 No. I was gonna say "you." 1553 01:11:22,837 --> 01:11:26,141 But, Trevor, when you say "you," 1554 01:11:26,241 --> 01:11:27,942 it means "me." 1555 01:11:29,144 --> 01:11:30,445 I... 1556 01:11:30,545 --> 01:11:32,247 I love you, Craig. 1557 01:11:33,781 --> 01:11:35,783 I love you, too, Trevor. 1558 01:12:01,942 --> 01:12:03,878 Oh, yeah! 1559 01:12:09,084 --> 01:12:11,320 Aw, fuck! 1560 01:12:11,420 --> 01:12:13,888 Oh, yeah! Oh! 1561 01:12:22,264 --> 01:12:25,467 What the fuck? 1562 01:12:32,607 --> 01:12:34,842 -Oh, my God. -Oh, wow. 1563 01:12:37,112 --> 01:12:39,947 -That was so hot. -That was so hot. 1564 01:12:40,048 --> 01:12:42,850 And easy. Everything made sense and was comfortable. 1565 01:12:42,950 --> 01:12:44,553 Easy, easy. 1566 01:12:44,653 --> 01:12:46,555 -Anal's easy. -Anal is easy. 1567 01:12:46,655 --> 01:12:48,557 It takes no practice to learn. 1568 01:12:48,657 --> 01:12:49,791 I didn't douche. Did you douche? 1569 01:12:49,890 --> 01:12:51,760 I didn't. No. I don't know what douching is. 1570 01:12:51,892 --> 01:12:53,128 Yeah. 1571 01:12:55,731 --> 01:12:57,165 So, then after cumming, 1572 01:12:57,265 --> 01:12:59,568 we laid there cuddling all night. 1573 01:12:59,668 --> 01:13:01,536 -It was beautiful. -I feel so lucky 1574 01:13:01,636 --> 01:13:04,406 to have found the only person in the whole world 1575 01:13:04,506 --> 01:13:06,575 who is as smart, awesome, 1576 01:13:06,675 --> 01:13:08,610 big-dicked, and smart as me. 1577 01:13:08,710 --> 01:13:10,145 And as fate would have it, 1578 01:13:10,245 --> 01:13:12,581 the person most like me 1579 01:13:12,681 --> 01:13:15,150 is my identical twin. Crazy. 1580 01:13:15,250 --> 01:13:16,884 -Crazy. -It's crazy. 1581 01:13:16,984 --> 01:13:18,620 -It's crazy. -Crazy. 1582 01:13:18,720 --> 01:13:19,887 -Babe, look at me. -Yeah? 1583 01:13:19,987 --> 01:13:22,357 -It's crazy. -I'm sorry, I just... 1584 01:13:22,457 --> 01:13:24,192 I find this so moving. 1585 01:13:24,959 --> 01:13:26,927 Okay, if anyone has any reason 1586 01:13:27,028 --> 01:13:28,929 this couple should not be wed, 1587 01:13:29,030 --> 01:13:30,898 speak now or forever hold your... 1588 01:13:36,505 --> 01:13:38,607 This is not what the Bible says. 1589 01:13:38,707 --> 01:13:40,208 What the fuck? 1590 01:13:40,308 --> 01:13:42,377 You do the math. This don't work. 1591 01:13:42,477 --> 01:13:45,814 Stop, stop, stop, you fucking assholes! 1592 01:13:45,913 --> 01:13:48,250 I command you. 1593 01:13:48,350 --> 01:13:51,686 -Why should we listen to you? -Yeah! 1594 01:13:51,787 --> 01:13:55,557 Because I am God! 1595 01:14:12,774 --> 01:14:15,577 Now listen and listen good, 1596 01:14:15,677 --> 01:14:16,912 you self-righteous, 1597 01:14:17,012 --> 01:14:19,281 judgmental flops. 1598 01:14:19,381 --> 01:14:21,982 Two twin brothers marrying each other, 1599 01:14:22,083 --> 01:14:23,852 it sounds like an abomination, 1600 01:14:23,951 --> 01:14:26,154 and yet, it's not. 1601 01:14:26,987 --> 01:14:30,158 Because love in all its forms, 1602 01:14:30,258 --> 01:14:34,095 is a divine thing given to you by me, 1603 01:14:34,196 --> 01:14:37,199 who, again, is God. 1604 01:14:37,299 --> 01:14:40,000 But, Father, they're fucking twins. 1605 01:14:40,101 --> 01:14:41,703 Is that Sister Tammy? 1606 01:14:42,237 --> 01:14:44,306 You shouldn't judge. 1607 01:14:44,406 --> 01:14:46,341 An apple a day keeps the doctor away, 1608 01:14:46,441 --> 01:14:49,377 but cum ain't apples. 1609 01:14:49,478 --> 01:14:50,846 -Gross! -Who is? 1610 01:14:50,946 --> 01:14:52,280 They are. 1611 01:14:52,380 --> 01:14:54,382 I don't do any of that nasty stuff. 1612 01:14:54,483 --> 01:14:57,219 I only have procreative sex with my wife. 1613 01:14:57,319 --> 01:14:59,287 -Yeah! -Lights off, eyes closed, 1614 01:14:59,387 --> 01:15:01,156 just as you intended, my Lord. 1615 01:15:01,256 --> 01:15:04,459 Don't put that shit on me, Steve. 1616 01:15:04,559 --> 01:15:07,329 Fucked up men, Yes, men, 1617 01:15:07,429 --> 01:15:09,997 took my words and changed the meaning. 1618 01:15:10,098 --> 01:15:14,102 I mean, you sticking your sloppy hard wiener 1619 01:15:14,202 --> 01:15:16,905 into your wife's wet hole? 1620 01:15:17,005 --> 01:15:18,907 That's disgusting, too. 1621 01:15:19,007 --> 01:15:21,243 Well, goddamn, if he ain't right about that. 1622 01:15:21,343 --> 01:15:22,310 When he explained it like that, 1623 01:15:22,410 --> 01:15:23,411 -I got it. -I never thought of it 1624 01:15:23,512 --> 01:15:24,779 -in that way. -I mean, it makes sense. 1625 01:15:24,880 --> 01:15:27,115 Look at these twins. 1626 01:15:27,215 --> 01:15:30,051 They're vile. Misogynists. 1627 01:15:30,151 --> 01:15:31,786 Pigs. Perverts. 1628 01:15:31,887 --> 01:15:34,723 -Depraved little sex pests... -Okay, we get it, God. 1629 01:15:34,823 --> 01:15:36,391 Yeah, relax, God. 1630 01:15:37,192 --> 01:15:39,160 But they love themselves, 1631 01:15:39,261 --> 01:15:42,197 in every sense of the word. 1632 01:15:42,297 --> 01:15:44,733 That's why I brought them together, 1633 01:15:44,833 --> 01:15:46,501 to teach you 1634 01:15:46,601 --> 01:15:49,337 that all love is love. 1635 01:15:50,472 --> 01:15:53,375 Damn, this story ended up good. 1636 01:15:53,475 --> 01:15:57,646 Oh, fuck it, I'm putting this one in the Bible. 1637 01:16:02,150 --> 01:16:03,618 Oh, Harris. 1638 01:16:04,920 --> 01:16:07,689 ♪ We share a love ♪ 1639 01:16:07,789 --> 01:16:10,759 ♪ That can't be ignored ♪ 1640 01:16:10,859 --> 01:16:13,261 ♪ A love sent to us ♪ 1641 01:16:13,361 --> 01:16:15,063 ♪ From our holy fucking Lord ♪ 1642 01:16:15,163 --> 01:16:16,798 This guy. 1643 01:16:16,898 --> 01:16:19,701 ♪ I have no pussy ♪ 1644 01:16:19,801 --> 01:16:22,804 ♪ And I'm straight and gay ♪ 1645 01:16:22,904 --> 01:16:25,307 ♪ People may judge us ♪ 1646 01:16:25,407 --> 01:16:31,880 ♪ But this is what we'll say ♪ 1647 01:16:31,980 --> 01:16:34,849 ♪ All love is love ♪ 1648 01:16:34,950 --> 01:16:37,852 ♪ Even when it's ugly ♪ 1649 01:16:37,953 --> 01:16:40,755 ♪ All love is love ♪ 1650 01:16:40,855 --> 01:16:43,825 ♪ Even when it's wrong ♪ 1651 01:16:43,925 --> 01:16:46,361 ♪ All love is love ♪ 1652 01:16:46,461 --> 01:16:51,399 ♪ Like a woman who fucks men made out of sand ♪ 1653 01:16:51,499 --> 01:16:54,169 ♪ All love is gross ♪ 1654 01:16:54,269 --> 01:16:57,339 ♪ But all love is love ♪ 1655 01:16:57,439 --> 01:16:59,708 ♪ You are my brother ♪ 1656 01:16:59,808 --> 01:17:03,311 ♪ My family, my kin ♪ 1657 01:17:03,411 --> 01:17:05,947 ♪ We share a bond ♪ 1658 01:17:06,048 --> 01:17:09,217 ♪ That comes from deep within ♪ 1659 01:17:09,317 --> 01:17:11,252 ♪ But our love has grown ♪ 1660 01:17:11,353 --> 01:17:14,990 ♪ Now it's ancient and divine ♪ 1661 01:17:15,091 --> 01:17:17,525 ♪ We'll fuck each other's assholes ♪ 1662 01:17:17,626 --> 01:17:24,332 ♪ Till we can't tell yours from mine ♪ 1663 01:17:24,432 --> 01:17:27,335 ♪ All love is love ♪ 1664 01:17:27,435 --> 01:17:30,672 ♪ Even when it's ugly ♪ 1665 01:17:30,772 --> 01:17:33,241 ♪ All love is love ♪ 1666 01:17:33,341 --> 01:17:36,778 ♪ Even when it's wrong ♪ 1667 01:17:36,878 --> 01:17:38,613 ♪ All love is love ♪ 1668 01:17:38,713 --> 01:17:43,052 ♪ Like a man who gets a blow job from a horse ♪ 1669 01:17:43,151 --> 01:17:46,721 -Wow. -♪ All love is gross ♪ 1670 01:17:46,821 --> 01:17:49,758 ♪ But all love is love ♪ 1671 01:17:51,159 --> 01:17:52,527 -Oh! -Oh! 1672 01:17:52,627 --> 01:17:55,630 I now pronounce these twin brothers 1673 01:17:55,730 --> 01:17:56,931 legally married. 1674 01:18:01,770 --> 01:18:03,938 That's got to be a first. That's got to be a first. 1675 01:18:04,806 --> 01:18:06,474 God loves all of you 1676 01:18:06,574 --> 01:18:08,910 because God is all of you. 1677 01:18:09,744 --> 01:18:11,846 God is man and woman. 1678 01:18:11,946 --> 01:18:14,349 God is Black and white. 1679 01:18:14,449 --> 01:18:16,651 God is straight and gay. 1680 01:18:16,751 --> 01:18:19,055 What, hold on, what? You're gay? 1681 01:18:19,155 --> 01:18:20,455 Yeah, obviously... 1682 01:18:20,555 --> 01:18:22,390 ...amongst other things, but my point is that... 1683 01:18:22,490 --> 01:18:24,659 No, totally, we hear you. God is gay. 1684 01:18:26,294 --> 01:18:30,999 ♪ All love is love All love is love ♪ 1685 01:18:31,100 --> 01:18:33,301 ♪ God is a faggot ♪ 1686 01:18:33,401 --> 01:18:34,936 ♪ And all love is love ♪ 1687 01:18:35,037 --> 01:18:36,172 That's not exactly my point. 1688 01:18:36,271 --> 01:18:40,775 ♪ All love is love All love is love ♪ 1689 01:18:40,875 --> 01:18:45,714 ♪ God is a faggot and all love is love ♪ 1690 01:18:45,814 --> 01:18:50,452 ♪ All love is love All love is love ♪ 1691 01:18:50,552 --> 01:18:54,823 ♪ God is a faggot and all love is love ♪ 1692 01:18:54,923 --> 01:18:55,957 Everybody! 1693 01:18:57,325 --> 01:18:58,560 Sing along! 1694 01:18:59,861 --> 01:19:00,862 Can't hear you. 1695 01:19:02,131 --> 01:19:03,531 You're a bigot! 1696 01:19:05,366 --> 01:19:07,435 -♪ All love is love ♪ -That's what I said. 1697 01:19:07,535 --> 01:19:09,370 -♪ All love is love ♪ -Even incest. 1698 01:19:09,471 --> 01:19:11,372 -♪ All love is love ♪ -Love a fruit. 1699 01:19:11,473 --> 01:19:12,507 ♪ All love is love ♪ 1700 01:19:12,607 --> 01:19:14,542 -Hallelujah! -♪ All love is love ♪ 1701 01:19:14,642 --> 01:19:16,444 -♪ All love is love ♪ -♪ All love is love ♪ 1702 01:19:16,544 --> 01:19:17,612 ♪ All love is love ♪ 1703 01:19:17,712 --> 01:19:19,447 -♪ All love is love ♪ -♪ Oh ♪ 1704 01:19:19,547 --> 01:19:21,516 -♪ All love is love ♪ -♪ God is a faggot ♪ 1705 01:19:21,616 --> 01:19:23,618 -♪ All love is love ♪ -♪ Sing God is a faggot ♪ 1706 01:19:23,718 --> 01:19:26,188 -♪ All love is love ♪ -♪ Oh, God is a faggot ♪ 1707 01:19:26,287 --> 01:19:27,322 -♪ All love is love ♪ -♪ Yeah ♪ 1708 01:19:27,422 --> 01:19:28,890 ♪ All love is love ♪ 1709 01:19:28,990 --> 01:19:30,159 Yay, yeah! 1710 01:19:36,165 --> 01:19:37,766 Check out the New New Testament. 1711 01:19:37,866 --> 01:19:39,235 Coming this Christmas. 1712 01:19:39,334 --> 01:19:42,104 ♪ And all love 1713 01:19:42,204 --> 01:19:45,207 ♪ Is love ♪ 1714 01:19:54,216 --> 01:19:56,985 The end. 1715 01:20:04,325 --> 01:20:05,994 -Surprise! -Surprise! 1716 01:20:06,095 --> 01:20:08,030 Oh, I looked right into camera. 1717 01:20:17,072 --> 01:20:19,041 It doesn't really go in there. 1718 01:20:21,076 --> 01:20:22,510 -Spit it? -Yeah. 1719 01:20:32,987 --> 01:20:34,656 Yes, we can. 1720 01:20:42,363 --> 01:20:44,899 Uh, whatever. Y'all fucked up. 1721 01:20:48,137 --> 01:20:51,307 Kids, listen, we love you, but 1722 01:20:51,406 --> 01:20:55,977 we will never... get married. 1723 01:20:57,912 --> 01:20:58,980 Mom? 1724 01:21:04,686 --> 01:21:06,754 Let's go home and discuss it, eh? 1725 01:21:06,855 --> 01:21:09,191 Let's go home and get in the bed 1726 01:21:09,291 --> 01:21:10,959 and discuss it in my puss. 1727 01:21:14,863 --> 01:21:17,333 ...if you do what we want and get married. 1728 01:21:17,432 --> 01:21:19,634 Oh, for fuck's sake. 1729 01:21:19,734 --> 01:21:20,869 Eat me. 1730 01:21:25,506 --> 01:21:27,442 Tiddles. Titties. Craig. 1731 01:21:27,542 --> 01:21:29,777 Trevor Brock. My two top salesmen. 1732 01:21:29,878 --> 01:21:32,147 I feel like it says "Titties." I keep forgetting. 1733 01:21:44,926 --> 01:21:48,396 Of all the humiliations I've had in show business, 1734 01:21:48,496 --> 01:21:49,831 and they are legion, 1735 01:21:49,931 --> 01:21:52,634 this may be the most humiliating moment... 1736 01:21:52,734 --> 01:21:54,903 ...I've ever had. 1737 01:22:05,247 --> 01:22:06,581 Set. 1738 01:22:08,117 --> 01:22:09,717 My prize pig. 1739 01:22:09,817 --> 01:22:11,153 I wanna be a prize pig. 1740 01:22:11,253 --> 01:22:12,420 Hey, baby, 1741 01:22:12,520 --> 01:22:15,391 you could be a prize pig in my bed when I fuck you. 1742 01:22:21,163 --> 01:22:23,132 Okay. 1743 01:22:24,899 --> 01:22:26,434 Oh, my God. 1744 01:22:27,568 --> 01:22:29,904 Oh, my God. 1745 01:22:30,004 --> 01:22:33,808 I am the lady, the bitch, the boss, rich... 1746 01:22:33,908 --> 01:22:35,543 Don't put a gender on my title. 1747 01:22:35,643 --> 01:22:37,346 Yeah, and, lady, I'm Craig, so... 1748 01:22:37,445 --> 01:22:39,580 Lady? Yes, um, well... 1749 01:22:39,681 --> 01:22:41,350 I forgot what the fuck I was supposed to say. 1750 01:22:43,518 --> 01:22:45,120 Oh, this time, let's improvise. 1751 01:22:45,220 --> 01:22:47,189 Oh, God, no. 1752 01:22:47,289 --> 01:22:48,856 That's-that's bad. 1753 01:22:48,957 --> 01:22:51,260 'Cause then it's just a lot of potty talk. 1754 01:22:51,360 --> 01:22:53,329 -Mom! -Dad! 1755 01:22:53,429 --> 01:22:55,030 -Dad? -Mommy! 1756 01:22:55,130 --> 01:22:56,098 Cut! 1757 01:22:57,799 --> 01:22:59,667 I hope he's a big macho guy like me. 1758 01:22:59,767 --> 01:23:02,603 Um, yeah, listen, I would love to talk about that, obviously, 1759 01:23:02,704 --> 01:23:05,007 but this is actually Mom's house, so I got to go now. 1760 01:23:05,107 --> 01:23:06,108 Oh, God! 1761 01:23:08,243 --> 01:23:10,279 Okay, bye-bye. 1762 01:23:10,379 --> 01:23:11,512 Yeah, that's good, but I think 1763 01:23:11,612 --> 01:23:13,681 also maybe a little more open-handed, if possible. 1764 01:23:13,781 --> 01:23:14,882 -Okay. -Yeah, like that. 1765 01:23:14,983 --> 01:23:16,452 -That's good. Okay, good. -Yeah. Oh, God. 1766 01:23:16,551 --> 01:23:17,652 -Thank you. -Oh, God. 1767 01:23:17,752 --> 01:23:19,021 -Ugh. God... -Oh, God. 1768 01:23:19,121 --> 01:23:20,356 Open-handed pussy. 1769 01:23:27,662 --> 01:23:30,132 Hop on. 1770 01:23:30,232 --> 01:23:31,467 Yeah, get right under here, 1771 01:23:31,566 --> 01:23:33,135 -you'll feel much better. -Okay. 1772 01:23:33,235 --> 01:23:34,602 -Oh. Oh. -Oh! 1773 01:23:38,073 --> 01:23:39,941 Shh. 1774 01:23:45,014 --> 01:23:47,483 Shh. 1775 01:23:47,582 --> 01:23:49,418 -♪ I loved a girl some... ♪ -Shh. 1776 01:23:53,288 --> 01:23:56,225 Single-parent families are not homes, that's true. 1777 01:23:56,325 --> 01:23:58,693 Single-parent homes are not families, that's true. 1778 01:23:58,793 --> 01:24:01,963 Single-parent families are not homes, that's true. Fuck! 1779 01:24:05,733 --> 01:24:09,271 That's-that's my other autobiography title. 1780 01:24:09,371 --> 01:24:11,373 "Fresh bag of ham." 1781 01:24:11,473 --> 01:24:15,044 No! No! 1782 01:24:15,144 --> 01:24:17,012 No! 1783 01:24:17,879 --> 01:24:20,548 Surprise, I'm in this movie. 1784 01:24:22,583 --> 01:24:26,355 ♪ I do want ♪ 1785 01:24:26,455 --> 01:24:28,923 ♪ More... ♪ 1786 01:24:29,024 --> 01:24:32,361 Sorry. Oh, my God, I'm so sorry. 1787 01:24:32,461 --> 01:24:34,229 And cut. 1788 01:26:01,782 --> 01:26:05,753 ♪ It's a gay old life ♪ 1789 01:26:05,853 --> 01:26:11,393 -♪ Being queer ♪ -♪ I have no pussy ♪ 1790 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:00,000 131198