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1
00:00:01,568 --> 00:00:02,831
[Birds chirping]
2
00:00:02,970 --> 00:00:04,460
[Dog barking in distance]
3
00:00:06,607 --> 00:00:07,597
[Yawns]
4
00:00:15,382 --> 00:00:18,374
HANK: Morning, hon.
LUANNE: Morning, Uncle Hank.
5
00:00:18,719 --> 00:00:20,118
[Shudders]
6
00:00:20,187 --> 00:00:22,656
I called you "hon,"� and I'm naked.
7
00:00:23,590 --> 00:00:24,614
[Gasps]
8
00:00:24,691 --> 00:00:26,557
I'm sorry, Uncle Hank.
9
00:00:27,194 --> 00:00:30,494
HANK: What are you touching?
Those are my personal undergarments.
10
00:00:30,664 --> 00:00:31,654
No.
11
00:00:31,732 --> 00:00:33,325
LUANNE: Some of them are mine.
12
00:00:33,734 --> 00:00:36,203
Will you look at what your niece has done?
13
00:00:36,336 --> 00:00:40,136
She's got my drawers spinning
around with her unmentionables.
14
00:00:40,307 --> 00:00:41,297
[Yawns]
15
00:00:41,441 --> 00:00:43,500
Scandalous. Where's my coffee?
16
00:00:44,044 --> 00:00:45,068
[Bobby exclaiming]
17
00:00:45,145 --> 00:00:47,705
Laundry. Hot out of the dryer.
18
00:00:48,148 --> 00:00:49,445
[Bobby moaning]
19
00:00:54,488 --> 00:00:55,478
[Hank sighs]
20
00:00:55,589 --> 00:00:58,501
6:00 a.m., and already the boy ain't right.
21
00:00:58,525 --> 00:00:58,548
6:00 a.m., and already the boy ain't right.
22
00:01:02,229 --> 00:01:04,027
[Theme song playing]
23
00:01:29,489 --> 00:01:30,700
[Doorbell rings]
24
00:01:30,724 --> 00:01:31,122
[Doorbell rings]
25
00:01:32,359 --> 00:01:34,828
Hello, is there a Luanne Platter living here?
26
00:01:35,062 --> 00:01:36,427
Who wants to know?
27
00:01:36,496 --> 00:01:40,433
Shiney Pines Trailer Park.
Miss Platter owes six months' back rent.
28
00:01:40,500 --> 00:01:42,127
You must have that wrong, mister.
29
00:01:42,202 --> 00:01:45,433
Luanne doesn't have any trailer.
That's why she lives here.
30
00:01:45,505 --> 00:01:46,939
So she does live here.
31
00:01:47,007 --> 00:01:50,443
Don't play mind checkers with me, man.
I'm not in the mood.
32
00:01:50,978 --> 00:01:52,412
We're both reasonable people.
33
00:01:52,479 --> 00:01:53,708
HANK: You said it, friend.
34
00:01:53,780 --> 00:01:56,579
My records show a trailer
at the corner of Shady Oak Lane...
35
00:01:56,650 --> 00:02:00,018
and Unpaved Access Drive.
"Luanne Platter, resident."�
36
00:02:00,454 --> 00:02:03,651
That can't be right.
Luanne used to live in a trailer.
37
00:02:03,724 --> 00:02:06,159
But her parents fought,
the trailer tipped over...
38
00:02:06,226 --> 00:02:08,991
her mama went to jail,
and the cops hauled it off.
39
00:02:09,062 --> 00:02:11,463
If you're calling me a liar,
you better be holding...
40
00:02:11,531 --> 00:02:13,124
something stronger than an umbrella.
41
00:02:13,200 --> 00:02:14,292
Nine iron?
42
00:02:14,735 --> 00:02:16,294
Y'all have a nice day.
43
00:02:19,072 --> 00:02:21,564
They asked me to substitute
for a German class.
44
00:02:21,642 --> 00:02:24,543
I said nein, which I thought meant �"yes."
45
00:02:24,611 --> 00:02:29,378
But apparently, nein means "no."
So, I blew a big opportunity.
46
00:02:29,783 --> 00:02:30,773
HANK: Luanne.
47
00:02:30,951 --> 00:02:32,646
Why are you living here?
48
00:02:32,986 --> 00:02:34,317
[Luanne deliberating]
49
00:02:34,388 --> 00:02:36,823
Because I have nowhere else to go?
50
00:02:36,990 --> 00:02:40,927
A man came by
from Shiney Pines Trailer Park today.
51
00:02:41,061 --> 00:02:43,359
He says you still got a trailer there.
52
00:02:43,563 --> 00:02:45,224
No, I don't. It tipped over.
53
00:02:45,298 --> 00:02:48,268
HANK: But it's still there.
LUANNE: No, it tipped over.
54
00:02:49,136 --> 00:02:52,697
Let me try to explain. I have a beer can.
55
00:02:53,040 --> 00:02:56,704
I tip it over. Now, is it still there?
56
00:02:57,110 --> 00:03:00,910
I can't live in a beer can.
I can live in a trailer.
57
00:03:00,981 --> 00:03:04,212
But I don't have a trailer,
because it tipped over.
58
00:03:04,785 --> 00:03:06,685
That trailer cannot be livable.
59
00:03:06,753 --> 00:03:09,279
It's full of broken dishes,
and broken dreams.
60
00:03:09,356 --> 00:03:10,800
So? We'll clean it.
61
00:03:10,824 --> 00:03:10,881
So? We'll clean it.
62
00:03:10,957 --> 00:03:13,858
If they had a sponge that cleaned
up broken dreams...
63
00:03:13,927 --> 00:03:16,624
Woolworth's would still be in business.
64
00:03:17,264 --> 00:03:18,288
DALE: Hey, Hank.
65
00:03:18,365 --> 00:03:19,855
What're you gonna winch?
66
00:03:20,000 --> 00:03:23,959
Luanne"s daddy's trailer.
I'm gonna untip it, and set it right.
67
00:03:24,037 --> 00:03:27,337
You know how the Egyptians untipped
the pyramids, don't you?
68
00:03:27,941 --> 00:03:32,902
With a winch, a cinder block,
and 50,000 Hebrew slaves.
69
00:03:33,180 --> 00:03:34,204
[Groans]
70
00:03:34,281 --> 00:03:35,908
You got a cinder block?
71
00:03:36,149 --> 00:03:38,880
I could get you an army tank from the base.
72
00:03:38,952 --> 00:03:42,479
There's nothing better for pushing,
except for maybe a bulldozer...
73
00:03:42,556 --> 00:03:44,854
but of course they lock those up.
74
00:03:45,392 --> 00:03:47,053
I got a truck and a winch.
75
00:03:47,127 --> 00:03:49,994
You wanna stand around talking,
or you wanna tip that trailer?
76
00:03:50,063 --> 00:03:53,693
Nancy, I'm helping Hank winch a trailer.
I'll see you for dinner!
77
00:03:53,767 --> 00:03:57,169
Sorry, sug', I get to anchor
Eyewitness Weather tonight.
78
00:03:57,237 --> 00:03:59,797
There's high winds blowing,
might be a tornado.
79
00:03:59,873 --> 00:04:03,741
This could be the disaster I've been
waiting for. Keep your fingers crossed.
80
00:04:03,810 --> 00:04:05,904
What about my supper?
81
00:04:06,012 --> 00:04:08,572
I left a carton of cigarettes on the table.
82
00:04:09,449 --> 00:04:11,315
I think I'll keep her.
83
00:04:13,153 --> 00:04:14,314
HANK: You know, fellas...
84
00:04:14,387 --> 00:04:18,085
trailer parks are some of
your largest consumers of propane.
85
00:04:18,191 --> 00:04:21,821
Right behind school buses,
and crematoriums.
86
00:04:22,162 --> 00:04:25,928
Pretty. Look at all those pretty trailers.
87
00:04:26,266 --> 00:04:28,234
That's a dang ol', good ol' deal.
88
00:04:28,301 --> 00:04:30,326
$100 a month, you get them hookups...
89
00:04:30,403 --> 00:04:33,464
you get them ol' dang tube top
jiggling around everywhere.
90
00:04:33,540 --> 00:04:35,872
It's nothing but dang ol' trash.
91
00:04:42,449 --> 00:04:44,975
Okay, Boomhauer, crank up the winch.
92
00:04:49,389 --> 00:04:50,754
HANK: You got it!
93
00:04:50,891 --> 00:04:52,086
[Men shouting]
94
00:04:53,260 --> 00:04:54,250
[Hank gasps]
95
00:04:55,028 --> 00:04:56,052
[Boomhauer pondering]
96
00:04:56,463 --> 00:04:58,363
HANK: All right. Let's do it.
97
00:04:59,966 --> 00:05:02,628
Keep going! Use the momentum!
98
00:05:05,005 --> 00:05:07,440
HANK: All right, way to go!
99
00:05:13,246 --> 00:05:14,611
[Truck door shuts]
100
00:05:20,420 --> 00:05:23,082
Do you think Alex Trebek
is sexy, Aunt Peg?
101
00:05:23,356 --> 00:05:25,154
Get out of my mind.
102
00:05:27,594 --> 00:05:30,154
Hey there, Luanne, Peg Leg.
103
00:05:30,230 --> 00:05:32,324
What have you been doing all day?
104
00:05:32,599 --> 00:05:34,499
HANK: This and that.
105
00:05:35,035 --> 00:05:36,764
Here's a thought.
106
00:05:36,837 --> 00:05:39,238
Wouldn't you like to have your own room?
107
00:05:39,406 --> 00:05:40,430
[Deliberating]
108
00:05:40,507 --> 00:05:41,975
Sure I would.
109
00:05:42,576 --> 00:05:45,273
I'd also like a date with Alex Trebek...
110
00:05:45,345 --> 00:05:48,747
but I don't see what good it'd do,
since I don't even have my own room.
111
00:05:48,815 --> 00:05:53,651
If that trailer wasn't tipped over,
you'd have more than just your own room.
112
00:05:53,854 --> 00:05:55,344
PEGGY: What are you driving at?
113
00:05:55,422 --> 00:05:59,416
The trailer's not tipped over anymore.
The guys and I took care of it.
114
00:05:59,492 --> 00:06:01,790
You could move in there tomorrow,
if you want.
115
00:06:01,862 --> 00:06:05,230
LUANNE: Why are you doing this to me?
HANK: You're welcome.
116
00:06:05,398 --> 00:06:06,991
Hank Hill, how could you?
117
00:06:07,067 --> 00:06:09,365
You are practically
pushing her out the door.
118
00:06:09,803 --> 00:06:13,467
Sometimes you got to stop vomiting
in the baby bird's mouth...
119
00:06:13,540 --> 00:06:15,133
and kick her out of the nest.
120
00:06:15,208 --> 00:06:18,735
That's a very clever analogy,
but you know from our own sidewalk...
121
00:06:18,812 --> 00:06:22,077
we are constantly raking up
those little dried-up bird babies.
122
00:06:22,349 --> 00:06:23,874
Luanne is just not ready.
123
00:06:26,253 --> 00:06:28,347
PEGGY: Pumpkin, are you all right?
124
00:06:28,555 --> 00:06:30,785
I'm sorry I lost it, Aunt Peg.
125
00:06:30,891 --> 00:06:33,622
But I thought I never had to go back
to that trailer.
126
00:06:33,693 --> 00:06:37,687
You don't have to, Luanne.
Not until you are good and ready.
127
00:06:37,831 --> 00:06:41,495
Did you know I was the first
in my family to go to beauty college?
128
00:06:41,568 --> 00:06:43,468
No, I did not know that.
129
00:06:43,536 --> 00:06:45,061
I'm not stopping there.
130
00:06:45,138 --> 00:06:46,970
I have dreams, Aunt Peg.
131
00:06:47,040 --> 00:06:49,839
I want to do hair and makeup for TV.
132
00:06:50,076 --> 00:06:51,703
I know I'd be good.
133
00:06:51,778 --> 00:06:56,181
I could be the first one to hide those bags
under Michael Douglas' eyes.
134
00:06:56,716 --> 00:06:58,707
Those are big ol' dreams.
135
00:07:00,387 --> 00:07:02,856
I'm shooting for a star.
136
00:07:02,923 --> 00:07:04,015
And you know what?
137
00:07:04,090 --> 00:07:05,922
I'll be okay at Shiney Pines.
138
00:07:05,992 --> 00:07:10,554
'Cause you can see the same stars
over that trailer you can see right here.
139
00:07:11,798 --> 00:07:13,357
Well, at night.
140
00:07:13,600 --> 00:07:14,761
PEGGY: Okey-do key.
141
00:07:15,869 --> 00:07:17,496
You're all packed up now.
142
00:07:17,570 --> 00:07:20,369
Guess you had better start your goodbyes.
143
00:07:20,573 --> 00:07:22,803
We want to get on the road
before Dr. Demento...
144
00:07:22,876 --> 00:07:25,004
starts stinking up the airwaves.
145
00:07:26,846 --> 00:07:28,575
Goodbye, Ladybird.
146
00:07:29,349 --> 00:07:30,942
You look so sad.
147
00:07:31,484 --> 00:07:33,816
Show me that smile now. Come on.
148
00:07:35,121 --> 00:07:36,782
That's my girl.
149
00:07:37,624 --> 00:07:38,887
Goodbye, Luanne.
150
00:07:38,959 --> 00:07:42,190
I just wanted you to know
that I never read your diary...
151
00:07:42,262 --> 00:07:46,631
even though you secretly suspected
I did, on June 18, 1995.
152
00:07:46,833 --> 00:07:50,269
LUANNE: I was wrong to doubt you.
BOBBY: That's okay.
153
00:07:50,870 --> 00:07:52,395
LUANNE: Oh, Uncle Hank.
154
00:07:52,906 --> 00:07:56,604
I just wanted to tell you,
you've been like a father to me.
155
00:07:56,676 --> 00:07:57,666
[Hank hesitating]
156
00:07:57,777 --> 00:08:00,803
I just wanted to tell you that...
157
00:08:01,481 --> 00:08:02,642
[Hank hesitating]
158
00:08:02,949 --> 00:08:05,748
Here, let me give you my card.
Hold onto that.
159
00:08:05,819 --> 00:08:09,949
That'll get you a 10 percent discount
on all your propane needs.
160
00:08:11,358 --> 00:08:13,190
[Crying] Lucky me.
161
00:08:13,360 --> 00:08:14,350
Luanne, honey.
162
00:08:14,561 --> 00:08:17,360
Why don't you go out and wait in the car?
163
00:08:17,831 --> 00:08:19,094
[Luanne bawling]
164
00:08:19,332 --> 00:08:22,666
What? That card is just like cash.
165
00:08:22,936 --> 00:08:26,395
Did you even notice that Luanne
was crying when she left here?
166
00:08:26,506 --> 00:08:28,338
When isn't she crying?
167
00:08:28,408 --> 00:08:30,775
She cries at weddings,
she cries at funerals.
168
00:08:30,844 --> 00:08:32,903
There's no rhyme or reason to it.
169
00:08:33,313 --> 00:08:36,647
I spent six hours tipping up
her trailer yesterday.
170
00:08:36,950 --> 00:08:39,351
My back hurts. You don't see me crying.
171
00:08:39,452 --> 00:08:42,752
No, I don't. But I wish I did.
I mean, come on, honey.
172
00:08:42,856 --> 00:08:45,348
A member of your family
is saying goodbye.
173
00:08:45,425 --> 00:08:48,122
Luanne is not family, she's company.
174
00:08:48,361 --> 00:08:52,389
If she was family, I wouldn't have
to double-knot the belt on my bathrobe...
175
00:08:52,465 --> 00:08:54,365
just to get a midnight snack.
176
00:08:54,534 --> 00:08:56,127
That is your problem.
177
00:08:56,236 --> 00:08:59,570
Luanne loves you,
and you have no emotions for her at all?
178
00:08:59,639 --> 00:09:01,698
I've got plenty of emotions.
179
00:09:01,775 --> 00:09:04,176
I was afraid she was gonna hug me.
180
00:09:04,244 --> 00:09:08,181
I was worried that she wouldn't leave,
and I was happy when it was over.
181
00:09:08,248 --> 00:09:11,582
I don't know how anyone is supposed
to know what you're feeling...
182
00:09:11,651 --> 00:09:14,177
sitting there like a block of wood.
183
00:09:14,587 --> 00:09:17,488
That is what you are sometimes,
a blockhead.
184
00:09:17,557 --> 00:09:20,618
A blockhead?
Now, that's hitting below the belt.
185
00:09:20,693 --> 00:09:21,990
I am sorry.
186
00:09:22,062 --> 00:09:25,362
But sometimes you make me wonder
what the hell is wrong with you.
187
00:09:25,432 --> 00:09:28,129
Really? Well, speaking of hell...
188
00:09:28,234 --> 00:09:30,726
if I wasn't so in control of my emotions...
189
00:09:30,804 --> 00:09:34,934
I might be inclined to say that's
the sort of place you should consider...
190
00:09:35,041 --> 00:09:37,305
making a visit towards.
191
00:09:37,377 --> 00:09:38,367
[Gasps]
192
00:09:40,713 --> 00:09:42,374
[Peggy grunting]
193
00:09:46,619 --> 00:09:47,848
[Hank grunts]
194
00:09:48,021 --> 00:09:49,250
[Car door slams]
195
00:09:52,292 --> 00:09:55,091
Son, I'm very sorry you had to hear that.
196
00:09:55,261 --> 00:09:56,990
I just lost my grip...
197
00:09:57,063 --> 00:10:01,398
and I spoke in a way that a man
should never ever speak to his wife.
198
00:10:01,468 --> 00:10:03,232
BOBBY: I can't hear the TV.
199
00:10:03,803 --> 00:10:08,263
The National Weather Service has issued
a tornado watch for the tri-county area.
200
00:10:08,341 --> 00:10:11,902
This is not a test. Channel 84
doesn't play those kind of games.
201
00:10:11,978 --> 00:10:14,538
Residents should be
on the lookout for a tornado...
202
00:10:14,614 --> 00:10:18,278
especially if you live in a trailer park,
because, as we all know, Jim...
203
00:10:18,351 --> 00:10:20,945
trailer parks can be hell in a tornado.
204
00:10:21,020 --> 00:10:22,749
Isn't that funny, Dad?
205
00:10:22,822 --> 00:10:26,417
'Cause you sort of told Mom
to go to hell, right?
206
00:10:26,493 --> 00:10:31,329
Then they say on TV that, in a twister,
a trailer park is hell.
207
00:10:31,397 --> 00:10:33,593
And that's where Mom's going.
208
00:10:33,833 --> 00:10:35,164
[Scary instrumental music]
209
00:10:35,635 --> 00:10:38,366
[Oldies music playing on radio]
210
00:10:39,305 --> 00:10:41,069
[Scary instrumental music]
211
00:10:45,778 --> 00:10:47,576
HANK: There's no reason to panic.
212
00:10:47,714 --> 00:10:49,739
My telling your mother to go to hell...
213
00:10:49,816 --> 00:10:52,979
will not be the last words
the two of us exchange.
214
00:10:53,052 --> 00:10:57,114
You and I'll just drive to the trailer park,
pick up Peggy and Luanne...
215
00:10:57,257 --> 00:10:59,385
and return without incident.
216
00:10:59,526 --> 00:11:02,985
Now, just in case I am incapacitated
for some reason...
217
00:11:03,129 --> 00:11:06,690
do you know how to start a man's heart
with a downed power line?
218
00:11:06,733 --> 00:11:07,943
No.
219
00:11:07,967 --> 00:11:07,990
No.
220
00:11:08,968 --> 00:11:10,936
There's really no wrong way to do it.
221
00:11:11,004 --> 00:11:15,100
BILL: I wish I could hang around
with you ordinary-citizen types...
222
00:11:15,175 --> 00:11:17,109
but my county needs me.
223
00:11:18,278 --> 00:11:21,942
I take on certain powers
when I put on this uniform.
224
00:11:22,048 --> 00:11:24,608
Not unlike your Marvel superheroes.
225
00:11:24,684 --> 00:11:27,779
You know, Stretch Armstrong,
Spider-Man, whatnot.
226
00:11:27,887 --> 00:11:30,185
Your Batcave's open, there.
227
00:11:30,390 --> 00:11:31,380
[Gasps]
228
00:11:31,891 --> 00:11:33,188
[All laughing]
229
00:11:34,027 --> 00:11:35,119
[Clears throat]
230
00:11:35,895 --> 00:11:39,195
I don't mind you guys making fun of me
on a daily basis.
231
00:11:39,265 --> 00:11:43,168
But when I have this uniform on,
I'd appreciate a little respect.
232
00:11:43,236 --> 00:11:44,761
I'm sorry, you're right.
233
00:11:44,837 --> 00:11:48,034
Of all the army barbers I know,
you're the bravest.
234
00:11:48,107 --> 00:11:50,667
Set your mousse on stun, there.
235
00:11:52,312 --> 00:11:54,178
[Dale making laser-gun sounds]
236
00:11:54,414 --> 00:11:57,315
You better hang onto
that camcorder real good...
237
00:11:57,383 --> 00:12:00,080
'cause I'm driving right up
next to that twister.
238
00:12:00,153 --> 00:12:04,317
Hard Copy's paying $500
for a flying-cow video.
239
00:12:04,390 --> 00:12:07,052
You wanna get a flying cow, ol' man...
240
00:12:07,126 --> 00:12:10,426
you gonna load up them dynamite
in a cannon like that.
241
00:12:10,496 --> 00:12:13,090
Boom, man! Cow flying all over the place.
242
00:12:13,166 --> 00:12:16,397
This is no time for jokes.
243
00:12:16,469 --> 00:12:20,906
This tornado's already classified
at Level 2 on the Fujisaki scale.
244
00:12:20,974 --> 00:12:24,308
A storm that strong
will send an egg through a barn door.
245
00:12:24,377 --> 00:12:26,675
Two barn doors, if one of them's open.
246
00:12:26,746 --> 00:12:29,374
What would a Level 3 do, Mr. Gribble?
247
00:12:29,449 --> 00:12:32,942
Level 3 will send an egg
through a brick wall.
248
00:12:33,019 --> 00:12:36,148
Tornado chasers call it Humpty's Revenge.
249
00:12:36,289 --> 00:12:37,313
[Exclaims]
250
00:12:37,390 --> 00:12:40,257
Tornado time is like the End of Days.
251
00:12:40,326 --> 00:12:42,693
The soft shall be blasted through the hard.
252
00:12:42,762 --> 00:12:45,629
Chaos will descend
upon the well organized.
253
00:12:45,698 --> 00:12:49,760
The strongest of men will become
like a woman of average strength.
254
00:12:50,203 --> 00:12:53,434
That's enough, there. Now, let's go.
255
00:12:53,640 --> 00:12:55,540
Just a minute, Dad.
256
00:12:55,975 --> 00:12:58,171
I forgot something important.
257
00:13:01,681 --> 00:13:02,671
[Murmuring]
258
00:13:03,416 --> 00:13:06,351
Nancy Hicks-Gribble here,
for "Tornado Watch '97"...
259
00:13:06,419 --> 00:13:08,683
brought to you by Mega Lo Mart.
260
00:13:08,755 --> 00:13:13,420
Mention that your home was destroyed,
and get a free five-pound bag of onions.
261
00:13:13,893 --> 00:13:16,385
A series of tornadoes
has touched down in Arlen County.
262
00:13:16,462 --> 00:13:20,092
As of this time, we have
no reports of injuries or of injury footage.
263
00:13:20,166 --> 00:13:23,568
If you know someone who
has been injured or is likely to be injured...
264
00:13:23,636 --> 00:13:24,899
please call this station.
265
00:13:25,405 --> 00:13:26,736
[Somber instrumental music]
266
00:13:42,455 --> 00:13:44,253
So many bad memories.
267
00:13:45,325 --> 00:13:48,158
There's the fork Mama stabbed Daddy with.
268
00:13:48,861 --> 00:13:51,421
The empty bottles from that awful night.
269
00:13:51,564 --> 00:13:52,554
[Gasping]
270
00:13:53,433 --> 00:13:57,233
Those mango-colored palazzo pants
that made my butt look big.
271
00:13:57,737 --> 00:13:59,831
This is gonna be harder than I thought.
272
00:14:00,239 --> 00:14:01,263
[Sighs]
273
00:14:01,341 --> 00:14:04,777
There was a lot of fighting going on
when we lived here.
274
00:14:04,844 --> 00:14:07,404
I guess I have that effect on people.
275
00:14:07,513 --> 00:14:09,208
No. Do not be silly.
276
00:14:09,282 --> 00:14:12,718
The fight Hank and I had today
was about him, not you.
277
00:14:12,785 --> 00:14:15,948
I am so mad at him
and his precious self-control.
278
00:14:16,189 --> 00:14:20,285
"I surely am not unfond of you,
Peggy, I tell you what."
279
00:14:20,693 --> 00:14:22,923
What kind of marriage proposal is that?
280
00:14:24,697 --> 00:14:25,721
[Turns radio on]
281
00:14:25,798 --> 00:14:29,132
ANNOUNCER: Wheezie's nightclub
was in the path of gale-force winds.
282
00:14:29,702 --> 00:14:32,399
WHEEZIE: it leveled the club.
The strippers are fine.
283
00:14:32,472 --> 00:14:35,669
But a customer had his lap broken
by one of the dancers.
284
00:14:35,775 --> 00:14:36,901
[Turns radio off]
285
00:14:36,976 --> 00:14:38,603
Nothing to worry about.
286
00:14:38,678 --> 00:14:42,410
That trailer park is at least
three strip clubs away from Wheezie's.
287
00:14:42,615 --> 00:14:43,776
[Engine spluttering]
288
00:14:43,850 --> 00:14:44,976
HANK: What?
289
00:14:45,351 --> 00:14:46,341
[Groans]
290
00:14:46,953 --> 00:14:48,682
[Suspenseful instrumental music]
291
00:14:49,021 --> 00:14:51,422
It's that dang fuel filter again.
292
00:14:51,524 --> 00:14:53,618
There's no gas station for miles.
293
00:14:55,228 --> 00:14:56,696
BOBBY: Go to the Mega Lo Mart.
294
00:14:56,763 --> 00:14:59,323
They've got everything
and a whole lot more.
295
00:15:00,299 --> 00:15:03,291
So, just maybe they'll have fruit pies.
296
00:15:03,569 --> 00:15:04,593
[Car doors slam]
297
00:15:04,670 --> 00:15:06,001
HANK: Come on. Hurry up.
298
00:15:10,109 --> 00:15:13,135
DALE: All right, twister,
it's just you and me now.
299
00:15:13,413 --> 00:15:15,882
Ten years ago, you took my shed.
300
00:15:15,948 --> 00:15:19,213
Did you think I'd forget that?
Come on, bring it on.
301
00:15:19,652 --> 00:15:20,676
[Screams]
302
00:15:20,753 --> 00:15:22,744
Please. Let me go!
303
00:15:23,089 --> 00:15:24,079
[Tires screeching]
304
00:15:24,323 --> 00:15:26,052
Dang old...
305
00:15:27,093 --> 00:15:28,083
[Boomhauer screams]
306
00:15:28,194 --> 00:15:29,184
[Dale screams]
307
00:15:32,632 --> 00:15:33,622
[People muttering]
308
00:15:33,766 --> 00:15:35,495
HANK: Excuse me. Come on, Bobby.
309
00:15:36,002 --> 00:15:37,970
[Muzak playing]
310
00:15:39,639 --> 00:15:40,868
[Both grunting]
311
00:15:42,809 --> 00:15:46,973
HANK: Twelve fuel filters for $60?
But I only need one.
312
00:15:48,047 --> 00:15:49,139
Damn.
313
00:15:50,216 --> 00:15:51,843
One fuel filter.
314
00:15:51,918 --> 00:15:55,877
I'm sorry, hon, but those
have to be purchased in packets of 12.
315
00:15:57,490 --> 00:15:58,980
12 fuel filters.
316
00:15:59,058 --> 00:16:02,153
Sorry, sweetheart,
I can't sell you a package that is opened.
317
00:16:02,228 --> 00:16:05,061
I opened it. I'm the one who opened it.
318
00:16:05,131 --> 00:16:08,328
I'm sorry, baby, but I can't.
For insurance reasons.
319
00:16:08,401 --> 00:16:09,527
What insurance reasons?
320
00:16:09,602 --> 00:16:13,038
What could possibly happen
with an open package of fuel filters?
321
00:16:13,105 --> 00:16:14,800
Fuel filters? Honey, quick.
322
00:16:14,874 --> 00:16:17,502
That jackass is buying all the fuel filters.
323
00:16:17,577 --> 00:16:19,545
What? Leave some for us, jackass.
324
00:16:19,612 --> 00:16:22,411
I need a fuel filter. What are they for?
325
00:16:22,482 --> 00:16:24,177
That man's buying them by the dozen.
326
00:16:24,250 --> 00:16:26,014
Somebody stop him!
327
00:16:33,893 --> 00:16:35,122
HANK: Come on.
328
00:16:37,096 --> 00:16:38,257
[Thunder rumbling]
329
00:16:38,331 --> 00:16:39,355
[Honking]
330
00:16:39,432 --> 00:16:41,127
Let's go.
331
00:16:41,200 --> 00:16:44,602
Move that truck.
My wife is stuck at Shiney Pines.
332
00:16:44,670 --> 00:16:47,105
I'm not authorized to drive the truck, sir.
333
00:16:47,173 --> 00:16:51,371
My wife is in danger, damn it.
Now make something happen.
334
00:16:51,477 --> 00:16:52,467
[Blows whistle]
335
00:16:52,545 --> 00:16:53,740
Security!
336
00:16:53,813 --> 00:16:57,147
Thank God. Make this idiot let me pass.
337
00:16:57,216 --> 00:17:01,551
Just how would I do that?
With my blow dryer or my scissor comb?
338
00:17:01,654 --> 00:17:04,123
HANK: Come on now.
BILL: No, I'm sorry.
339
00:17:04,190 --> 00:17:06,659
I must have a bad case of barber's ear.
340
00:17:06,726 --> 00:17:10,959
I can't hear a word you say until
you address me as Sgt. Dauterive.
341
00:17:11,497 --> 00:17:14,831
HANK: Bill, please.
BILL: I can't hear you!
342
00:17:14,901 --> 00:17:17,370
All right, Sgt. Dauterive.
343
00:17:17,470 --> 00:17:20,303
I don't know if I like your tone, Private.
344
00:17:20,473 --> 00:17:22,601
What did I do to deserve this?
345
00:17:22,675 --> 00:17:25,144
I didn't mean to curse my wife to hell.
346
00:17:26,145 --> 00:17:27,613
[Eerie instrumental music]
347
00:17:28,781 --> 00:17:29,771
[Groans]
348
00:17:30,716 --> 00:17:32,081
[Engine accelerating]
349
00:17:33,219 --> 00:17:34,414
[Hank groaning]
350
00:17:34,754 --> 00:17:35,983
[Hank screaming]
351
00:17:44,030 --> 00:17:46,658
Nancy Gribble here, for "Death Watch '97."
352
00:17:46,732 --> 00:17:50,396
A Level 5 tornado is headed
right for Shiney Pines Trailer Park.
353
00:17:50,469 --> 00:17:53,734
Shiney Pines residents,
we urge you to remain calm.
354
00:17:53,940 --> 00:17:57,501
If there are any personal issues
that you've been waiting to resolve...
355
00:17:57,577 --> 00:18:00,774
or if you've never experienced
the miracle of lovemaking...
356
00:18:00,846 --> 00:18:02,439
now might be the time.
357
00:18:06,218 --> 00:18:08,880
Peggy, Luanne, where are you?
358
00:18:08,988 --> 00:18:10,513
Look, Dad, flamingos.
359
00:18:11,424 --> 00:18:12,892
WOMAN: The twister's coming.
360
00:18:12,959 --> 00:18:15,223
Run for the 'fraidy hole!
361
00:18:15,494 --> 00:18:16,893
Take my son!
362
00:18:17,964 --> 00:18:19,193
HANK: Peggy!
363
00:18:20,299 --> 00:18:21,858
Peggy, are you in here?
364
00:18:21,934 --> 00:18:23,629
PEGGY: Hank, over here!
365
00:18:24,136 --> 00:18:25,126
HANK: Peggy!
366
00:18:27,073 --> 00:18:29,701
This is the moment I've been waiting for.
367
00:18:34,013 --> 00:18:35,105
[Hank gasping]
368
00:18:35,848 --> 00:18:37,407
PEGGY: Look out!
369
00:18:38,751 --> 00:18:39,718
Hurry!
370
00:18:41,320 --> 00:18:42,310
[Grunting]
371
00:18:43,889 --> 00:18:45,857
LUANNE: Hang on, Uncle Hank!
372
00:18:45,958 --> 00:18:48,052
What on earth are you doing here?
373
00:18:48,127 --> 00:18:50,186
HANK: I came to find you!
374
00:18:51,063 --> 00:18:53,589
I don't know how long I can hold on!
375
00:18:53,666 --> 00:18:55,600
I'd better say this now!
376
00:18:55,668 --> 00:18:58,899
I feel terrible about what I said to you!
377
00:18:59,071 --> 00:19:01,369
I don't want you to go to hell!
378
00:19:01,474 --> 00:19:03,738
I just... I mean...
379
00:19:04,243 --> 00:19:05,677
I'm not good at this kind of thing!
380
00:19:05,711 --> 00:19:06,922
Go on. You're doing fine, sweetheart.
381
00:19:06,946 --> 00:19:09,677
Go on. You're doing fine, sweetheart.
382
00:19:09,949 --> 00:19:11,610
Don't edit yourself.
383
00:19:11,684 --> 00:19:14,710
Just whatever comes, just let it come!
384
00:19:14,787 --> 00:19:16,653
HANK: You're my best girl!
385
00:19:16,722 --> 00:19:19,157
You mean everything to me!
386
00:19:19,392 --> 00:19:22,828
When we were apart today, that was hell!
387
00:19:22,895 --> 00:19:27,856
I couldn't wake up in the morning
without your beautiful face beside me!
388
00:19:28,868 --> 00:19:31,860
I love you and Bobby...
389
00:19:32,104 --> 00:19:33,731
and Luanne...
390
00:19:33,906 --> 00:19:36,273
to a lesser extent!
391
00:19:36,542 --> 00:19:37,532
[Sighing]
392
00:19:39,145 --> 00:19:40,476
Hang on!
393
00:19:40,980 --> 00:19:41,970
[Screaming]
394
00:19:46,886 --> 00:19:48,820
[Epic instrumental music]
395
00:20:03,069 --> 00:20:05,834
Hurry, it's the eye of the storm.
396
00:20:05,905 --> 00:20:08,738
Come to the shelter! Run!
397
00:20:09,975 --> 00:20:12,376
Is Luanne still alive?
398
00:20:13,446 --> 00:20:15,039
Tell her to cover her eyes.
399
00:20:15,147 --> 00:20:16,546
They're covered.
400
00:20:16,615 --> 00:20:18,743
Just run, you jackass!
401
00:20:18,884 --> 00:20:21,717
Don't tell me that old lady's in there, too.
402
00:20:21,787 --> 00:20:25,223
Don't mind me.
I've seen a barrel of pickles in my day.
403
00:20:26,192 --> 00:20:27,990
All right, I'm coming.
404
00:20:28,761 --> 00:20:30,058
[Hank pondering]
405
00:20:47,780 --> 00:20:49,373
[Water dripping]
406
00:20:53,786 --> 00:20:55,083
[Grunting]
407
00:20:58,390 --> 00:21:00,085
[Tender instrumental music]
408
00:21:00,226 --> 00:21:03,560
You don't have a trailer anymore.
It's tipped over.
409
00:21:04,029 --> 00:21:06,930
Guess you'll be staying with us
from now on.
410
00:21:07,133 --> 00:21:08,862
Thanks, Uncle Hank.
411
00:21:13,939 --> 00:21:17,898
LUANNE: You know what I'll never forget,
was when Uncle Hank was naked.
412
00:21:19,512 --> 00:21:21,002
That never happened.
413
00:21:21,080 --> 00:21:23,105
But the wind blew all his clothes off.
414
00:21:23,182 --> 00:21:25,241
HANK: Not my underwear.
LUANNE: Yes, it did.
415
00:21:25,351 --> 00:21:27,115
Not my underwear.
416
00:21:27,386 --> 00:21:29,480
Not his underwear.
417
00:21:40,065 --> 00:21:41,863
[Theme song playing]
418
00:22:10,362 --> 00:22:12,908
BILL: / can't hear you!
419
00:22:12,932 --> 00:22:12,955
BILL: / can't hear you!
420
00:22:13,005 --> 00:22:17,555
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