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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:20,587 --> 00:00:23,556 Come on. Honey. Give Daddy the blanket. 2 00:00:24,824 --> 00:00:28,385 Listen. This is gonna be a fun party with lots of cake and ice cream... 3 00:00:28,461 --> 00:00:31,021 but little girls with wet blankets can't go. 4 00:00:31,097 --> 00:00:33,065 Now. Give it to Daddy. 5 00:00:36,336 --> 00:00:40,067 Do this: Leave the blanket here. I'll advance your allowance till you're 40. 6 00:00:40,140 --> 00:00:41,630 Fair enough? 7 00:00:44,077 --> 00:00:46,875 There is no way that that blanket is going in this car. 8 00:00:46,946 --> 00:00:49,210 - Mom! - No. No. Not this time. 9 00:00:49,282 --> 00:00:51,876 This is a brand new $25.000 BMW... 10 00:00:51,951 --> 00:00:54,442 325 e5 with leather interior. 11 00:00:54,521 --> 00:00:56,512 Tom. It's just a car. 12 00:00:56,589 --> 00:00:59,183 Come on. I just Armor-Alled the seats. 13 00:01:11,004 --> 00:01:12,938 Got any eights? 14 00:01:14,007 --> 00:01:15,531 Go fish. 15 00:01:15,608 --> 00:01:17,405 Why does it always take her so long? 16 00:01:17,477 --> 00:01:21,243 Just think of her as a work in progress. 17 00:01:24,117 --> 00:01:26,449 - Do I look all right? - Do stars twinkle? 18 00:01:26,519 --> 00:01:27,850 Come on. Sweetheart. Your bike awaits. 19 00:01:27,921 --> 00:01:30,719 Have you ever tried to put pantyhose on with wet nails? 20 00:01:30,790 --> 00:01:32,985 - It's a bitch. - I forgot my sample case. 21 00:01:33,059 --> 00:01:35,186 Come on. Tish. We're gonna be late. 22 00:01:35,261 --> 00:01:36,660 We are late. 23 00:01:38,531 --> 00:01:40,055 Be careful. 24 00:01:43,269 --> 00:01:45,203 Get out of the road! 25 00:01:48,641 --> 00:01:50,575 Be careful. Tom! 26 00:02:01,721 --> 00:02:03,586 Come on! 27 00:02:07,493 --> 00:02:09,654 Congratulations. Mama. 28 00:02:09,729 --> 00:02:12,197 Wasn't it a beautiful ceremony? 29 00:02:12,265 --> 00:02:14,495 Beautiful. 30 00:02:14,567 --> 00:02:16,831 Oh. No! It means fertility. 31 00:02:16,903 --> 00:02:18,495 God forbid. 32 00:02:33,786 --> 00:02:36,687 This great song with its wonderful rhythm 33 00:02:37,890 --> 00:02:41,155 It's a wonderful rhythm and you can feel it 34 00:02:41,227 --> 00:02:43,752 You know what I'm saying 35 00:02:43,830 --> 00:02:47,288 Yes, you know what I'm saying Come on and dance 36 00:02:47,367 --> 00:02:49,460 Come on and dance Come on and dance 37 00:02:49,535 --> 00:02:51,969 Look at Mom! 38 00:02:53,306 --> 00:02:57,299 When the stars meet the heavens The sky will shine 39 00:02:57,377 --> 00:03:00,175 The whole night long the sky will shine 40 00:03:01,814 --> 00:03:03,213 Bad tits. 41 00:03:06,753 --> 00:03:08,812 No ass. 42 00:03:08,888 --> 00:03:11,652 So. Tom. you still selling Subarus? 43 00:03:11,724 --> 00:03:15,023 How many times I got to tell you. Kirby? I sell BMWs. 44 00:03:15,094 --> 00:03:17,426 I just happen to work out of a Subaru showroom. 45 00:03:22,101 --> 00:03:25,036 - Look at her. - What a pig. 46 00:03:25,104 --> 00:03:27,163 Here we are. Safe and sound. 47 00:03:30,677 --> 00:03:32,736 I know. We got to get a car. 48 00:03:32,812 --> 00:03:34,643 It's on my list. 49 00:03:34,714 --> 00:03:36,648 I dried my hair in front of the TV... 50 00:03:36,716 --> 00:03:39,116 and it's full of electricity. 51 00:03:39,185 --> 00:03:41,119 Mitch. Please stop. 52 00:03:41,187 --> 00:03:43,121 Mitch. Don't do that. 53 00:03:43,189 --> 00:03:46,420 Your cousins Toby and Mary... do they have a boy or a girl? 54 00:03:46,492 --> 00:03:48,187 One or the other. 55 00:03:50,128 --> 00:03:52,096 Go! Go! Go! Go! 56 00:04:17,155 --> 00:04:19,555 Congratulations to the bride and groom. 57 00:04:19,624 --> 00:04:21,592 Many happy years together. 58 00:04:21,659 --> 00:04:23,593 Jesus. Who is that? 59 00:04:28,433 --> 00:04:31,425 You take away the clothes and the makeup. What do you got? 60 00:04:31,503 --> 00:04:33,630 A gorgeous naked woman. 61 00:04:35,907 --> 00:04:38,603 Congratulations. Uncle Phil. 62 00:04:38,676 --> 00:04:40,439 Isn't she something? 63 00:04:40,512 --> 00:04:42,844 Edie. If you are half as wonderful as my uncle says... 64 00:04:42,914 --> 00:04:45,610 I want you to leave him right now... I'm gonna marry you. 65 00:04:47,085 --> 00:04:49,315 This is Larry's beautiful wife. Tish. 66 00:04:49,387 --> 00:04:50,820 Congratulations. 67 00:04:50,889 --> 00:04:53,790 And this monster here is Mitchie. 68 00:04:53,858 --> 00:04:55,849 Hey. Easy on the mousse. Uncle Phil. 69 00:04:55,927 --> 00:04:58,691 - Hi. Mitch. - This is for you. 70 00:04:58,763 --> 00:05:01,323 You coming to work for me. you son of a gun? 71 00:05:01,399 --> 00:05:03,390 I told you. Uncle Phil. I just don't see... 72 00:05:03,468 --> 00:05:07,495 an intellectual albeit muscular guy like myself working in a junkyard. 73 00:05:08,506 --> 00:05:12,169 Larry. Believe me. there's a future in garbage. 74 00:05:12,243 --> 00:05:16,202 By the year 2000. There's gonna be no place left for human refuse. 75 00:05:16,281 --> 00:05:19,546 Get in while the market's still open. 76 00:05:19,617 --> 00:05:22,848 Don't say nothing. Sleep on it. 77 00:05:22,921 --> 00:05:26,482 - We'll talk. Okay? - It's on my list. Uncle Phil. 78 00:05:26,558 --> 00:05:28,719 - It's on my list. I swear to God. - I got your list. 79 00:05:33,898 --> 00:05:36,992 I would like to make... Attention. Please. Attention. 80 00:05:37,068 --> 00:05:40,629 I want to make a toast to this lovely young couple. 81 00:05:42,107 --> 00:05:44,632 Most of us find love... 82 00:05:44,709 --> 00:05:46,609 once in a lifetime. if we're lucky. 83 00:05:47,712 --> 00:05:52,012 But for these two to find love again. later in life... 84 00:05:55,053 --> 00:05:58,682 On behalf of my whole family. we are grateful... 85 00:05:58,756 --> 00:06:03,523 because my Uncle Phil. While being one of the great men in garbage... 86 00:06:03,595 --> 00:06:06,393 has not always been so keen on personal hygiene. 87 00:06:06,464 --> 00:06:08,523 But that is until he met you. 88 00:06:10,768 --> 00:06:12,235 So... 89 00:06:12,303 --> 00:06:14,669 I will now disrobe... 90 00:06:14,739 --> 00:06:17,572 and play a Celtic classic ballad... 91 00:06:17,642 --> 00:06:19,837 on my love flute. 92 00:06:19,911 --> 00:06:21,674 Shut up! 93 00:06:28,520 --> 00:06:32,286 My nephew Larry's making a toast. 94 00:06:37,128 --> 00:06:39,426 Thank you. Uncle Phil. 95 00:06:39,497 --> 00:06:41,294 Even the band stopped. 96 00:06:41,366 --> 00:06:44,733 Well. I was... Excuse me here... 97 00:06:44,802 --> 00:06:49,239 I was just trying to make a toast here. 98 00:06:50,842 --> 00:06:53,538 I guess what I was trying to say was... 99 00:06:53,611 --> 00:06:55,408 this occasion's more than a wedding. 100 00:06:55,480 --> 00:06:58,142 It's a love story. 101 00:06:58,216 --> 00:07:02,084 It's... I'm dying here. 102 00:07:02,153 --> 00:07:04,917 It's the story... 103 00:07:04,989 --> 00:07:08,049 It's the story of a lovely lady 104 00:07:08,126 --> 00:07:11,254 Who was living... had three lovely girls 105 00:07:11,329 --> 00:07:13,092 Sisters 106 00:07:13,164 --> 00:07:16,600 Each of them had hair like their mother 107 00:07:16,668 --> 00:07:20,263 What's the real color of her hair anyway? 108 00:07:24,909 --> 00:07:26,774 Make up your own verse! 109 00:07:26,844 --> 00:07:30,177 It's the story of Phil Kozinski 110 00:07:30,248 --> 00:07:33,843 Who was living in a garbage dump alone 111 00:07:35,220 --> 00:07:37,154 Anyway. Anyway... 112 00:07:37,222 --> 00:07:38,849 Anyway. To life... 113 00:07:38,923 --> 00:07:40,857 to love... 114 00:07:40,925 --> 00:07:42,859 to Phil and Edie. 115 00:07:56,474 --> 00:07:58,271 I'm touched. 116 00:08:01,913 --> 00:08:03,778 Such a wonderful nephew. 117 00:08:03,848 --> 00:08:07,045 Such a wonderful bride. I don't deserve her. 118 00:08:07,118 --> 00:08:08,949 You're right. You bastard! 119 00:08:09,020 --> 00:08:13,013 Hey. You don't like it. kiss me where the sun don't shine! 120 00:08:13,091 --> 00:08:15,685 - Oh. Yeah? Where's that? - I'll show you where! 121 00:08:32,043 --> 00:08:34,011 It's all mine! 122 00:08:38,449 --> 00:08:42,647 My brother Angelo just rolled over in his grave. 123 00:08:43,621 --> 00:08:46,818 - You're crazy! - Crazy with love! 124 00:08:47,892 --> 00:08:50,554 You put your right leg in You put your right leg out 125 00:08:50,628 --> 00:08:52,789 You put your right leg in 126 00:08:52,864 --> 00:08:54,661 And shake it all about 127 00:08:54,732 --> 00:08:57,257 Do the Hokey Pokey and turn yourself around 128 00:08:57,335 --> 00:08:59,735 That's what it's all about 129 00:09:05,109 --> 00:09:07,077 Now. All of these products are natural... 130 00:09:07,145 --> 00:09:10,979 and they're coordinated to go with your individual coloring. 131 00:09:11,049 --> 00:09:14,849 You're a fall... soft ambers and magenta. 132 00:09:14,919 --> 00:09:18,650 And you're a summer... yellows and blues. 133 00:09:20,091 --> 00:09:24,221 And you. You're a spring. You should be in pink. 134 00:09:24,295 --> 00:09:26,024 Darling. I'm a widow. 135 00:09:26,097 --> 00:09:28,725 Thirty years. and I only wear black. 136 00:09:28,800 --> 00:09:31,462 And on you. It works. 137 00:09:31,536 --> 00:09:33,128 Classic. 138 00:09:33,204 --> 00:09:36,867 Turn yourself around That's what it's all about 139 00:09:37,809 --> 00:09:39,640 Look at her. 140 00:09:39,711 --> 00:09:42,305 She buried my brother only five years ago. 141 00:09:42,380 --> 00:09:46,043 - Look at her. She killed him. - What? 142 00:09:46,117 --> 00:09:49,086 She killed him by putting butter in his food all the time. 143 00:09:51,489 --> 00:09:54,049 Listen to me. Kevin. I'm telling you. I got a problem with this. 144 00:09:54,125 --> 00:09:56,753 - Now's not the time. - You canceled the check. 145 00:09:56,828 --> 00:09:59,353 - You didn't fix the car. - What. It's my fault it broke down? 146 00:09:59,430 --> 00:10:01,227 It broke down on the way home. 147 00:10:01,299 --> 00:10:03,267 - You owe me money. - You owe me a car! 148 00:10:03,334 --> 00:10:05,302 - You're a goddamn liar. - You're a cheat! 149 00:10:05,370 --> 00:10:08,271 - Shithead. Come on! - Take it easy. 150 00:10:10,108 --> 00:10:12,303 Relax! Relax! Just relax! 151 00:10:12,377 --> 00:10:14,743 - Take it easy. - Your cousin's an asshole. 152 00:10:14,812 --> 00:10:17,940 - Hey. Just take it easy. - Get some help. Tom. 153 00:10:20,818 --> 00:10:22,410 I'm sorry. 154 00:10:27,892 --> 00:10:30,952 Up close. she doesn't look so young. 155 00:10:53,117 --> 00:10:56,848 You're telling me your parents let you come here today... 156 00:10:56,921 --> 00:10:59,947 and never warned you about the wedding killer? 157 00:11:02,693 --> 00:11:06,993 You see. There's this guy... Fred. I think his name is... 158 00:11:07,064 --> 00:11:11,000 and his girlfriend walked out on him. Okay? 159 00:11:11,068 --> 00:11:13,059 And on the day of her wedding to this other guy... 160 00:11:13,137 --> 00:11:14,832 Fred showed up... 161 00:11:15,907 --> 00:11:17,397 and he had a machete... 162 00:11:17,475 --> 00:11:19,466 and he chopped her head off. 163 00:11:20,645 --> 00:11:23,205 There was blood everywhere. 164 00:11:23,281 --> 00:11:25,579 Then he sliced the groom's guts open... 165 00:11:25,650 --> 00:11:27,811 right down the middle and this stuff spilled out... 166 00:11:27,885 --> 00:11:29,648 that looked like spaghetti. 167 00:11:31,689 --> 00:11:34,920 And then he ripped her heart out while it was still beating... 168 00:11:34,992 --> 00:11:36,823 and he ate it. 169 00:11:37,762 --> 00:11:38,694 Wait. Wait. 170 00:11:38,763 --> 00:11:42,563 And now. He goes from wedding to wedding... 171 00:11:42,633 --> 00:11:44,828 macheteing up everybody into little pieces. 172 00:11:44,902 --> 00:11:46,927 Kids too? 173 00:11:47,004 --> 00:11:48,904 Especially kids. 174 00:11:48,973 --> 00:11:50,167 Time to go. Kids. 175 00:11:55,146 --> 00:11:57,706 How sweet of you to tell them stories. Mitch. 176 00:11:57,782 --> 00:11:59,682 There's nothing to it. 177 00:12:06,158 --> 00:12:07,625 Children. Children. 178 00:12:07,693 --> 00:12:09,888 Outside. 179 00:12:15,801 --> 00:12:17,564 Bye-bye! 180 00:12:20,806 --> 00:12:23,104 - Bye-bye! - Send a card! 181 00:12:26,011 --> 00:12:28,138 Okay. I'll call you. 182 00:12:30,649 --> 00:12:32,583 Dad. I can't find her anywhere... 183 00:12:32,651 --> 00:12:34,642 and I got plans tonight. 184 00:12:37,423 --> 00:12:39,983 - Can you take my kid home? - Come along. Mitch. 185 00:12:40,059 --> 00:12:43,028 Great. Thanks. As dads go. You're okay. 186 00:12:43,095 --> 00:12:44,960 Home by 10:00. 187 00:12:46,131 --> 00:12:48,122 Mitch. Home by 10:00. 188 00:12:51,537 --> 00:12:53,732 - Bye. - No more? 189 00:12:58,410 --> 00:13:01,902 She's going to come back soon. She's on a honeymoon. 190 00:13:05,184 --> 00:13:07,618 I don't know where he went. I don't understand. 191 00:13:12,891 --> 00:13:15,724 - I seem to have lost my mate. - Me too. 192 00:13:15,794 --> 00:13:17,955 I was sure I came in with one. 193 00:13:19,865 --> 00:13:21,594 Nice wedding. 194 00:13:24,870 --> 00:13:27,270 - I'm Phil's nephew. - I know. I'm Edie's... 195 00:13:27,339 --> 00:13:29,000 I know. 196 00:13:29,074 --> 00:13:30,769 - Larry. - I'm Maria. 197 00:13:30,843 --> 00:13:32,640 - Chloe. - Hi. Chloe. 198 00:13:32,711 --> 00:13:34,338 - Are you cold. Sweetheart? - Yeah. 199 00:13:34,413 --> 00:13:37,246 Well. Why don't we go inside. 200 00:13:37,316 --> 00:13:39,409 Yes. That's a good idea. 201 00:13:49,094 --> 00:13:52,495 - You should be a singer. - Thanks. I'll try. 202 00:13:52,564 --> 00:13:54,998 Your wife is very beautiful. 203 00:13:55,067 --> 00:13:58,093 - Have you been married long? - A couple of years. You? 204 00:13:58,170 --> 00:13:59,967 Almost 11. 205 00:14:01,440 --> 00:14:03,374 We were married young. 206 00:14:04,743 --> 00:14:08,144 - Work? - Yes. He sells cars. Subarus. 207 00:14:08,213 --> 00:14:11,376 - No. Do you work? - Me? 208 00:14:11,450 --> 00:14:14,681 Yes. I'm a legal secretary. 209 00:14:15,754 --> 00:14:17,278 And you? 210 00:14:17,356 --> 00:14:19,551 I teach ballroom dancing. 211 00:14:20,459 --> 00:14:22,791 Really? 212 00:14:22,861 --> 00:14:25,989 Would you be more impressed if I said I was a securities analyst? 213 00:14:26,064 --> 00:14:27,827 Because my first wife was. 214 00:14:27,900 --> 00:14:30,494 My father. However. was more impressed... 215 00:14:30,569 --> 00:14:32,833 when I was a real estate broker. 216 00:14:32,905 --> 00:14:35,499 My first wife's friends liked that too. 217 00:14:35,574 --> 00:14:37,872 Everybody was impressed but me. 218 00:14:37,943 --> 00:14:41,504 - And you play the piano too. - No. 219 00:14:43,549 --> 00:14:44,573 Trumpet. 220 00:14:45,751 --> 00:14:47,912 Are you really a dance teacher? 221 00:14:51,690 --> 00:14:53,681 Here you go. This... 222 00:14:53,759 --> 00:14:58,492 entitles you to one free lesson. 223 00:14:58,564 --> 00:15:00,862 - I'm not a very good dancer. - That's okay. 224 00:15:00,933 --> 00:15:03,629 I'm not a very good teacher. 225 00:15:06,004 --> 00:15:10,031 Well. I bet I know somebody who would like to dance. 226 00:15:12,678 --> 00:15:15,306 You're so light. 227 00:15:20,385 --> 00:15:22,285 You're very good with children. 228 00:15:23,388 --> 00:15:27,324 Well. My job gives me a lot of time to spend with my son. 229 00:15:28,794 --> 00:15:30,762 The one with the video camera? 230 00:15:34,099 --> 00:15:37,728 You know. My mother and Phil. they are so sweet. 231 00:15:39,705 --> 00:15:42,333 I felt like crying. but I couldn't. 232 00:15:42,407 --> 00:15:44,034 I never can. 233 00:15:46,044 --> 00:15:48,012 Why am I telling you this? 234 00:15:48,080 --> 00:15:50,378 People tell dance teachers things. 235 00:15:50,449 --> 00:15:52,815 Thank you. Madam. Lovely. 236 00:15:52,884 --> 00:15:56,479 Nobody told me anything when I was in securities. 237 00:15:56,555 --> 00:15:58,785 How many jobs did you have? 238 00:15:58,857 --> 00:16:00,654 I don't know. A lot. 239 00:16:00,726 --> 00:16:02,990 I change every two or three years. 240 00:16:03,061 --> 00:16:05,621 If it looks like I might be successful. I move on. 241 00:16:05,697 --> 00:16:08,757 - You don't want to be successful? - I want to be happy. 242 00:16:09,701 --> 00:16:12,135 Hey. We're getting personal here. 243 00:16:12,204 --> 00:16:16,004 You're learning my secrets. and I don't know a thing about you. 244 00:16:17,142 --> 00:16:18,769 Not an interesting person. 245 00:16:19,978 --> 00:16:21,946 Christ. You... How you doing? 246 00:16:22,014 --> 00:16:24,107 You will not believe what happened to us. 247 00:16:24,182 --> 00:16:27,379 The goddamn car broke down. Where is everybody? 248 00:16:28,754 --> 00:16:31,348 Jesus. I didn't know it was this late. Are you okay? 249 00:16:31,423 --> 00:16:34,551 Tom was just giving me a test drive in his car. 250 00:16:34,626 --> 00:16:37,891 We lost track of time. Tom sells BMWs. 251 00:16:37,963 --> 00:16:42,195 - I thought they were Subarus. - You're in the market for a new car. 252 00:16:42,267 --> 00:16:44,428 We are. Aren't we. Honey? 253 00:16:44,503 --> 00:16:47,370 Your wife and I were talking about putting a set of wheels under you... 254 00:16:47,439 --> 00:16:49,236 at a price you can afford. 255 00:16:49,308 --> 00:16:52,471 Not just any set of wheels. Bavarian Motor Works. 256 00:16:53,612 --> 00:16:56,547 I think a BMW is a little out of our range. 257 00:16:58,583 --> 00:17:01,416 Besides. They're breaking down all the time. 258 00:17:09,961 --> 00:17:12,088 So anyway. As soon as she said... 259 00:17:12,164 --> 00:17:14,962 they were thinking about buying a car. I knew it. 260 00:17:15,033 --> 00:17:17,126 If I could get her behind the wheel. Bingo. 261 00:17:17,202 --> 00:17:20,467 Sale. Commission. full sticker price. 262 00:17:20,539 --> 00:17:22,734 Then the car breaks down. 263 00:17:22,808 --> 00:17:25,140 That's the thing in sales. You concentrate on the woman. 264 00:17:25,210 --> 00:17:27,269 Women always liked you. Tom. 265 00:17:30,082 --> 00:17:31,845 You believe me. Don't you? 266 00:17:31,917 --> 00:17:34,715 Why shouldn't I? You're my husband. 267 00:17:42,928 --> 00:17:45,294 Phil's worth a lot of money. 268 00:17:45,364 --> 00:17:47,924 You really should take him up on his offer. 269 00:17:47,999 --> 00:17:50,968 You're great at collecting junk. 270 00:17:51,036 --> 00:17:53,504 You'd wind up running the company. 271 00:17:56,875 --> 00:17:59,241 My psychic. Mrs. Wong... 272 00:17:59,311 --> 00:18:01,279 is encouraging me to express myself. 273 00:18:01,346 --> 00:18:03,871 She says a lot of attractive women get depressed... 274 00:18:03,949 --> 00:18:07,578 because they think people see nothing but their looks. 275 00:18:14,459 --> 00:18:17,724 She thinks I have sensitivity and talent. Larry. 276 00:18:17,796 --> 00:18:20,321 She says that. 277 00:18:20,399 --> 00:18:22,390 Mrs. Wong is "wight." 278 00:18:24,369 --> 00:18:26,929 I should tell you that more often. I'm sorry. 279 00:18:29,741 --> 00:18:33,177 Would you still slay a dragon for me? 280 00:18:36,181 --> 00:18:38,411 Maybe a baby dragon. 281 00:18:46,291 --> 00:18:49,783 Mrs. Wong gave me a self-improvement tape. Would you like to hear it? 282 00:18:49,861 --> 00:18:51,726 Not right now. 283 00:18:55,100 --> 00:18:58,035 I wouldn't hurt you for anything. You know that. Don't you? 284 00:19:00,906 --> 00:19:03,602 Why would you say that? 285 00:19:03,675 --> 00:19:07,133 Will you dance with me? We never dance anymore. 286 00:19:34,906 --> 00:19:36,533 Oh. I forgot to tell you. 287 00:19:36,608 --> 00:19:39,475 Remember the guy on the news who listened to Ozzy Osbourne so much... 288 00:19:39,544 --> 00:19:42,809 that his parents sued because he became a mass murderer? 289 00:19:42,881 --> 00:19:44,781 Aunt Irene told me today... 290 00:19:44,850 --> 00:19:47,250 she's thinking of suing now because cousin Donald... 291 00:19:47,319 --> 00:19:49,412 listened to Barry Manilow over and over... 292 00:19:49,488 --> 00:19:51,422 and he became a florist. 293 00:19:55,894 --> 00:19:58,556 That bad. Huh? What's up? 294 00:19:59,731 --> 00:20:02,325 It's the blonde on the blue bicycle. Isn't it? 295 00:20:03,201 --> 00:20:04,469 Shut up. 296 00:20:04,602 --> 00:20:08,333 The blonde whose initials are on your Vans? 297 00:20:10,808 --> 00:20:12,070 Shut up. 298 00:20:13,110 --> 00:20:16,637 When I watch you play soccer and the guys go for Gatorade at the break... 299 00:20:16,714 --> 00:20:19,148 you go and talk to the blonde on the blue bicycle. 300 00:20:19,217 --> 00:20:20,912 I said shut up! 301 00:20:20,985 --> 00:20:23,749 - You're not my mother. - I'm just trying to help. Mitchie. 302 00:20:23,821 --> 00:20:25,448 I could give you the girl's point of view. 303 00:20:25,523 --> 00:20:27,650 Tish. Kiss my squirrel! 304 00:20:27,725 --> 00:20:31,456 We will have no squirrel kissing here tonight. 305 00:20:31,529 --> 00:20:33,463 Well. I was just trying to help. 306 00:20:33,531 --> 00:20:35,965 I think I should spend a little time with Mitchie alone. 307 00:20:39,270 --> 00:20:41,795 "Kiss my squirrel"? 308 00:20:41,873 --> 00:20:43,636 Hey. Come on. 309 00:20:44,842 --> 00:20:46,139 Oh. That's very nice. 310 00:20:49,380 --> 00:20:52,941 Go apologize to Tish. Go. Get out of here. 311 00:20:53,017 --> 00:20:57,113 Repeat several times a day... 312 00:20:58,189 --> 00:21:00,783 'I approve... 313 00:21:00,858 --> 00:21:03,850 of myself. 314 00:21:03,928 --> 00:21:06,590 I approve... 315 00:21:06,664 --> 00:21:08,427 of myself. " 316 00:21:14,572 --> 00:21:17,871 You're not throwing quite hard enough. 317 00:21:17,942 --> 00:21:20,035 I hate Leonard Pierson. 318 00:21:20,111 --> 00:21:21,271 Who? 319 00:21:21,345 --> 00:21:23,404 Leonard Pierson... in my class. 320 00:21:23,481 --> 00:21:25,506 He follows me around all the time. 321 00:21:25,583 --> 00:21:27,483 But you shouldn't hate anybody. Chloe. 322 00:21:27,552 --> 00:21:30,020 He tells everyone he loves me. 323 00:21:30,087 --> 00:21:31,782 That is sweet. 324 00:21:31,856 --> 00:21:33,756 You be sweet to him. Okay? 325 00:21:33,824 --> 00:21:35,849 - Bye. - Bye. Mom. 326 00:22:16,968 --> 00:22:20,597 - Hi. Tom. - Bernadette... 327 00:22:20,671 --> 00:22:24,038 Iook. I'm sorry. But we have to stop seeing each other. 328 00:22:25,576 --> 00:22:28,272 - What? - It's just getting too serious. 329 00:22:35,119 --> 00:22:36,882 You're right. 330 00:22:50,034 --> 00:22:52,434 I'll be with you in a minute. okay. Tom? 331 00:22:58,142 --> 00:23:00,076 How is your family? 332 00:23:00,144 --> 00:23:02,169 Olga. Listen. About us... 333 00:23:04,582 --> 00:23:07,551 You've got a new girlfriend. 334 00:23:10,287 --> 00:23:12,847 I can't see you anymore. 335 00:23:13,624 --> 00:23:14,989 Lighten up. 336 00:23:17,328 --> 00:23:18,886 Planned Parenthood. 337 00:23:35,246 --> 00:23:37,578 You're not allowed to talk to the driver. 338 00:23:54,865 --> 00:23:57,129 Would you excuse me just one moment? 339 00:24:01,772 --> 00:24:03,569 - Hi. - What did you tell him? 340 00:24:03,641 --> 00:24:05,836 - Who? - Your husband. About us? 341 00:24:05,910 --> 00:24:08,071 - Nothing. - Good. Keep it that way. 342 00:24:08,145 --> 00:24:11,342 I wanted to make sure you're not a three-beers-and-confession type. 343 00:24:12,950 --> 00:24:15,111 You're a lot different than last night. 344 00:24:16,020 --> 00:24:19,183 Last night never happened. Understand? I've changed my whole life today. 345 00:24:19,256 --> 00:24:21,622 I've cleaned up my act. No more women. 346 00:24:21,692 --> 00:24:24,183 Last night never happened. understand? 347 00:24:24,261 --> 00:24:27,424 And if you ever say it did... if you use the "f" word about us... 348 00:24:27,498 --> 00:24:29,796 if even the "fu" sound comes out of your mouth... 349 00:24:29,867 --> 00:24:32,768 I will denounce you as a liar and home-wrecker. Do you understand? 350 00:24:32,837 --> 00:24:34,702 Miss? 351 00:24:34,772 --> 00:24:38,503 Excuse me. I have to get back to her or her eyeliner will cake. 352 00:24:39,910 --> 00:24:43,676 - Do you understand? - I have an IQ in the triple digits. 353 00:24:43,748 --> 00:24:46,182 What word do you think I didn't understand? 354 00:24:46,250 --> 00:24:49,947 Okay. I just wanted to make sure you understood. 355 00:24:50,020 --> 00:24:52,716 - Are you wearing black underwear? - Yes. 356 00:24:53,991 --> 00:24:56,016 Want to meet me for a drink later? 357 00:24:58,896 --> 00:25:02,354 Kiss my squirrel. 358 00:25:06,270 --> 00:25:09,137 So they drove to a shopping mall... 359 00:25:09,206 --> 00:25:11,436 and parked in back of a supermarket... 360 00:25:11,509 --> 00:25:13,841 behind a Dumpster... 361 00:25:13,911 --> 00:25:18,041 in our car that I make payments on by sweating my ass off... 362 00:25:18,115 --> 00:25:21,175 so she can sweat her ass off inside it. 363 00:25:21,252 --> 00:25:23,186 Sorry. 364 00:25:23,254 --> 00:25:26,951 That car was rocking like an out-of-whack washing machine. 365 00:25:27,024 --> 00:25:29,686 - I went crazy. - Are you getting this down. Maria? 366 00:25:29,760 --> 00:25:32,490 - Yes. I am. Mr. Bergman. - Okay. 367 00:25:32,563 --> 00:25:35,726 I decided to kill her... 368 00:25:35,800 --> 00:25:37,563 but I couldn't. 369 00:25:39,069 --> 00:25:41,867 I love her. 370 00:25:41,939 --> 00:25:44,271 So I shaved her head. 371 00:25:44,341 --> 00:25:47,071 And now see if he wants her. 372 00:25:47,144 --> 00:25:50,636 That is why your wife is suing you for divorce. Mr. Dionne. 373 00:25:53,317 --> 00:25:55,012 Love is shit. 374 00:25:56,187 --> 00:25:57,882 Marriage is shit. 375 00:25:57,955 --> 00:26:00,685 You know. I'm sitting here listening to you editorialize... 376 00:26:00,758 --> 00:26:02,385 Fuck you. Moneybags. 377 00:26:21,779 --> 00:26:24,247 That's my favorite part. Here we go. 378 00:26:24,315 --> 00:26:26,146 All right. Remember... 379 00:26:26,217 --> 00:26:28,048 happy. Happy. Happy. 380 00:26:28,118 --> 00:26:30,018 No. No. We're doing the cha-cha here. 381 00:26:30,087 --> 00:26:32,214 - Sorry. - Remember. Ladies... 382 00:26:32,289 --> 00:26:35,520 it's okay to smile. especially at my jokes. 383 00:26:35,593 --> 00:26:37,720 Ready. And... 384 00:26:37,795 --> 00:26:40,730 cha-cha-cha. Swivel. Swivel... 385 00:26:40,798 --> 00:26:43,358 forward. Back. Forward. 386 00:26:43,434 --> 00:26:46,562 I can't even say it right. Hit him. Maggie. If he does that right. 387 00:26:46,637 --> 00:26:48,764 Let's do it again. Ready. And... 388 00:26:48,839 --> 00:26:51,706 cha-cha-cha. Swivel. Swivel... 389 00:26:51,775 --> 00:26:54,266 forward. Cross. Forward. 390 00:26:54,345 --> 00:26:56,745 Who's leading here? That's all right. You lead. 391 00:26:56,814 --> 00:26:59,146 You're doing a good job. I want these suspenders. 392 00:26:59,216 --> 00:27:02,845 Ready. And... cha-cha-cha. Swivel. Swivel... 393 00:27:02,920 --> 00:27:04,649 forward. Cross. Forward. 394 00:27:04,722 --> 00:27:07,987 Up. Six. Seven. Eight. 395 00:27:08,058 --> 00:27:09,855 And one... 396 00:27:15,599 --> 00:27:17,965 You're going to put me out of work. You're too good. 397 00:27:18,035 --> 00:27:20,936 One more time. Ready. And... 398 00:27:21,005 --> 00:27:24,338 Cha-cha-cha... Oh. My God. No. No. No. 399 00:27:24,408 --> 00:27:28,174 Let me show you one more time. One more time. Everybody. 400 00:27:30,214 --> 00:27:31,146 Mrs. Greenblatt. 401 00:27:42,559 --> 00:27:45,357 You look marvelous. 402 00:27:56,807 --> 00:27:59,435 Magnificent. A thing of beauty. 403 00:27:59,510 --> 00:28:01,137 Thank you. Thank you. 404 00:28:03,914 --> 00:28:06,439 Okay. That's it. Time's up. Everybody. 405 00:28:06,517 --> 00:28:09,884 Practice. Practice. Practice. Yes. Practice. Practice. Practice. 406 00:28:09,954 --> 00:28:13,822 Good-bye. Get out of here. You crazy guys. 407 00:28:13,891 --> 00:28:17,462 Thank you. Get new shoes. Those are not gonna work. 408 00:28:17,595 --> 00:28:20,325 Don't forget to bring your checks next week. 409 00:28:24,836 --> 00:28:27,031 You came for your free lesson. 410 00:28:28,239 --> 00:28:31,106 It's my lunch break. And I thought maybe we could talk. 411 00:28:36,781 --> 00:28:38,908 - Mexican? - It's too heavy. 412 00:28:38,983 --> 00:28:42,510 - I don't know how to say this... - Well. Words are good. 413 00:28:42,587 --> 00:28:44,885 They have fried octopus? 414 00:28:44,956 --> 00:28:46,947 No. I had that for breakfast. 415 00:28:49,193 --> 00:28:52,026 - This is difficult. - Oh. Come on. 416 00:28:52,096 --> 00:28:54,997 It's only lunch. Burgers. 417 00:28:55,066 --> 00:28:57,466 No. Too obvious. 418 00:28:57,535 --> 00:29:00,834 Larry. I need to ask you something. 419 00:29:02,807 --> 00:29:06,868 Do I think that your husband and my wife slept together? 420 00:29:09,080 --> 00:29:11,514 Thank you. It would've taken me a lot longer. 421 00:29:12,950 --> 00:29:16,181 Well. I only have an hour for lunch. 422 00:29:16,254 --> 00:29:17,778 Spuds International. 423 00:29:17,855 --> 00:29:20,187 Everything you ever wanted on a potato and more. 424 00:29:20,258 --> 00:29:23,284 I think they have one with a Buick on it. 425 00:29:23,361 --> 00:29:26,091 Do you think they did? 426 00:29:26,163 --> 00:29:27,926 I don't know. 427 00:29:27,999 --> 00:29:30,297 Only they know. 428 00:29:30,368 --> 00:29:32,962 You don't seem to be upset about it. 429 00:29:33,037 --> 00:29:35,130 Sex isn't that big a deal anyway. 430 00:29:35,206 --> 00:29:38,198 Whether they had sex or not. something happened. 431 00:29:38,276 --> 00:29:41,609 Hey. I believe in people's freedom of choice. 432 00:29:41,679 --> 00:29:44,648 Tish needs to grow up to be her own person. That's me. 433 00:29:44,715 --> 00:29:46,478 What people do is their business. 434 00:29:46,551 --> 00:29:50,578 - That doesn't apply to marriage. - Sounds like you have a choice to make. 435 00:29:50,655 --> 00:29:53,351 And guess what? You're free to make it. 436 00:29:55,459 --> 00:29:57,723 This is great. We hardly know each other... 437 00:29:57,795 --> 00:30:00,457 and we're getting our first argument out of the way. 438 00:30:03,501 --> 00:30:06,265 Are you serious about that freedom stuff? 439 00:30:12,343 --> 00:30:15,801 No! Oh. God. I'm so full of shit! 440 00:30:15,880 --> 00:30:18,849 I'd like to kill them both! I'm sorry. 441 00:30:20,618 --> 00:30:22,677 - I'll pay for it. - It's my fault. 442 00:30:22,753 --> 00:30:26,120 I will pay for the fish. I broke the fish. 443 00:30:26,190 --> 00:30:28,522 I'm sorry. I shouldn't have come. 444 00:30:28,593 --> 00:30:30,686 How much? Never mind. 445 00:30:30,761 --> 00:30:32,490 Wait. Please. 446 00:30:32,563 --> 00:30:34,758 I'm very sorry. 447 00:30:39,136 --> 00:30:42,299 It wasn't easy to come see me today. Was it? 448 00:30:42,373 --> 00:30:44,273 Are you okay? 449 00:30:44,342 --> 00:30:46,936 No. I'm not okay. 450 00:30:47,011 --> 00:30:49,878 That's right. You don't cry. Do you? 451 00:30:51,549 --> 00:30:53,107 Or hit fish. 452 00:30:57,655 --> 00:31:00,647 You know. Tom lately has been really upset about work. 453 00:31:00,725 --> 00:31:03,558 They have these contests... who sells most cars... 454 00:31:03,628 --> 00:31:05,562 and he lost his trip to Las Vegas. 455 00:31:05,630 --> 00:31:08,360 That's a good reason to hump my wife. 456 00:31:08,432 --> 00:31:10,093 I'm sorry. 457 00:31:10,167 --> 00:31:12,362 Listen. Tish is a good person. 458 00:31:12,436 --> 00:31:15,132 She just wants to be appreciated for more than her looks. 459 00:31:15,206 --> 00:31:16,935 She's worried people think she's dumb. 460 00:31:17,008 --> 00:31:20,034 She's not dumb. Tom is very vulnerable to female flattery. 461 00:31:20,111 --> 00:31:21,976 Why do you keep making excuses for your husband? 462 00:31:22,046 --> 00:31:24,037 Because you're making excuses for your wife. 463 00:31:24,115 --> 00:31:25,810 All right. 464 00:31:25,883 --> 00:31:28,545 So. How did you two meet? 465 00:31:28,619 --> 00:31:30,519 We met in high school. 466 00:31:30,588 --> 00:31:32,920 He was an athlete. A big athlete... 467 00:31:32,990 --> 00:31:35,515 and he had a red car he was very proud of. 468 00:31:35,593 --> 00:31:37,561 Girls were crazy about him. 469 00:31:37,628 --> 00:31:40,153 I just came to this country. and I was very shy. 470 00:31:40,231 --> 00:31:42,495 I couldn't believe when he came and talked to me. 471 00:31:42,566 --> 00:31:45,034 He must have said something right to get you to marry him. 472 00:31:45,102 --> 00:31:48,560 No. I was the only girl who wouldn't go to sleep with him. 473 00:31:49,874 --> 00:31:51,569 What about you? 474 00:31:51,642 --> 00:31:54,543 I guess I thought Tish was gonna be different than my first wife. 475 00:31:54,612 --> 00:31:56,204 Surprise. You know. 476 00:31:56,280 --> 00:31:58,840 Turns out she's the bride of Bloomingdale's. 477 00:32:01,218 --> 00:32:04,312 So. What do you want to do? You want to confront them? 478 00:32:04,388 --> 00:32:06,549 They'll just deny it. 479 00:32:06,624 --> 00:32:09,286 We could shave their heads. 480 00:32:09,360 --> 00:32:11,385 What? 481 00:32:11,462 --> 00:32:13,692 I have to go back to work. I'm sorry. 482 00:32:13,764 --> 00:32:16,460 I'm sorry if I spoiled your day. 483 00:32:16,534 --> 00:32:19,435 It was nice not having lunch with you. 484 00:32:21,172 --> 00:32:23,003 Bye. 485 00:32:23,074 --> 00:32:24,974 Good-bye. Maria. 486 00:32:33,451 --> 00:32:36,113 Sweetheart. I'm going to put your flowers in the vase. 487 00:32:36,187 --> 00:32:38,121 You can do your homework. 488 00:32:40,124 --> 00:32:42,456 What's in the box. Daddy? 489 00:32:42,526 --> 00:32:44,255 What's this? 490 00:32:44,328 --> 00:32:45,818 Open it. 491 00:32:47,398 --> 00:32:51,232 And tonight I'm going to make my world-famous garlic chicken Pamplona. 492 00:32:53,571 --> 00:32:56,438 Not only that. I'm going to clean up after I use every pot in the house. 493 00:32:56,507 --> 00:32:58,202 I promise. 494 00:32:59,643 --> 00:33:01,008 This is beautiful. 495 00:33:03,314 --> 00:33:04,975 What's the occasion? 496 00:33:05,049 --> 00:33:07,643 Nothing. Just us. 497 00:33:09,186 --> 00:33:13,282 All of us together. Just one of those nights. 498 00:33:13,357 --> 00:33:15,951 It's nice to have a family. 499 00:33:22,433 --> 00:33:25,493 So. How was your day? 500 00:33:25,569 --> 00:33:28,970 Fine. I had lunch with Larry Kozinski. 501 00:33:30,941 --> 00:33:32,431 - Who? - Larry Kozinski. 502 00:33:32,510 --> 00:33:36,139 I had lunch with him today. Sweetheart. Don't wrinkle it. 503 00:33:36,213 --> 00:33:39,307 Why? What for? 504 00:33:41,051 --> 00:33:44,384 - What did you talk about? - Nothing special. 505 00:33:45,990 --> 00:33:49,323 - Was it a nice lunch? - Mm-hmm. Very nice. 506 00:33:50,728 --> 00:33:52,662 Well. That's fine. 507 00:33:52,730 --> 00:33:55,358 That's good. That's okay. 508 00:33:55,432 --> 00:33:57,696 I'm glad you had a nice day. 509 00:33:57,768 --> 00:34:01,135 Good old Larry. Lunch. 510 00:34:01,205 --> 00:34:03,605 Nice. 511 00:34:03,674 --> 00:34:06,404 Mitchie is... What is it you are again. Mitchie? 512 00:34:06,477 --> 00:34:08,945 I'm a multimedia artist... 513 00:34:09,013 --> 00:34:12,005 but my emphasis is on video. 514 00:34:12,082 --> 00:34:14,016 I'm so excited. 515 00:34:57,828 --> 00:34:59,159 That's her. 516 00:35:36,267 --> 00:35:37,757 You're a goddamn liar! 517 00:35:44,108 --> 00:35:47,942 Cut! Cut! Lights! 518 00:35:51,715 --> 00:35:52,773 Thank you. 519 00:35:55,619 --> 00:35:58,110 How about lunch? 520 00:36:02,259 --> 00:36:05,626 You are a very sick young man. 521 00:36:05,696 --> 00:36:09,257 Alienation. Great. 522 00:36:09,333 --> 00:36:11,358 Interesting work. Mitch. 523 00:36:11,435 --> 00:36:12,959 Thanks. Dad. 524 00:36:13,037 --> 00:36:16,473 What the hell are you doing taking my wife out to lunch? 525 00:36:16,540 --> 00:36:19,475 Actually. We didn't have lunch. 526 00:36:19,543 --> 00:36:21,704 We went for a walk. but my feet broke down... 527 00:36:21,779 --> 00:36:24,009 so we were a little late getting back. 528 00:36:29,920 --> 00:36:31,979 They know. 529 00:36:32,056 --> 00:36:33,853 They know about us. 530 00:36:48,572 --> 00:36:52,372 You work in garbage all week. enjoy nature on the weekends. 531 00:36:59,450 --> 00:37:01,611 Tell me about Larry. 532 00:37:04,321 --> 00:37:07,085 I've asked him a million times to come into the business... 533 00:37:07,157 --> 00:37:11,389 but he wants to change jobs. Dance. 534 00:37:11,462 --> 00:37:14,090 Me. I say this with love. Maria. 535 00:37:14,164 --> 00:37:17,429 Larry is a failure in everything except life. 536 00:37:17,501 --> 00:37:19,799 Come! Dance with me! Yes! 537 00:37:28,045 --> 00:37:30,309 - Follow me. - No. You go. 538 00:37:30,381 --> 00:37:32,315 We're gonna miss you. 539 00:37:35,185 --> 00:37:38,120 Phil. Do you want some cake? Phil? 540 00:37:45,729 --> 00:37:46,923 Come on. Come on! 541 00:37:51,835 --> 00:37:53,166 Something's wrong. 542 00:37:53,237 --> 00:37:55,933 One shot. Man! That's all it'll take... one shot! 543 00:37:56,006 --> 00:37:58,600 - I'm right here! - I won't have it in my house! 544 00:37:58,675 --> 00:37:59,664 Stop. Stop. 545 00:37:59,743 --> 00:38:02,507 Stop it. Stop it. 546 00:38:02,579 --> 00:38:04,137 Mama. 547 00:38:21,465 --> 00:38:23,399 Don't leave me! 548 00:38:42,853 --> 00:38:46,880 "So that even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death... 549 00:38:46,957 --> 00:38:49,255 I fear no evil. for Thou art with me. 550 00:38:49,326 --> 00:38:52,056 Thy rod and thy staff. they comfort me. 551 00:38:52,129 --> 00:38:55,656 Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies. 552 00:38:55,732 --> 00:38:57,461 My cup overflows. 553 00:38:57,534 --> 00:39:00,435 Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me... 554 00:39:00,504 --> 00:39:02,233 all the days of my life... 555 00:39:02,306 --> 00:39:06,003 and I shall dwell in the house of the Lord forever." 556 00:39:06,076 --> 00:39:09,011 Let us pray. 557 00:39:09,079 --> 00:39:11,309 "O. God. Whose days are without an end... 558 00:39:11,381 --> 00:39:13,508 Give me back my 50 cents. 559 00:39:13,584 --> 00:39:16,314 - Drive me around this damn town... - Keep your dime. Sport. 560 00:39:16,386 --> 00:39:18,149 just to run up your fare. 561 00:39:18,222 --> 00:39:20,622 What do you think I am. Huh? 562 00:39:20,691 --> 00:39:22,784 A goddamn tourist? 563 00:39:22,860 --> 00:39:24,122 Cheapskate. 564 00:39:27,898 --> 00:39:30,662 Pop. You were supposed to call me. 565 00:39:30,734 --> 00:39:34,329 For what? A ride on that motorcycle of yours? 566 00:39:34,404 --> 00:39:36,497 Good to see you. Son. 567 00:39:36,573 --> 00:39:39,007 - Good God. Is this Mitchell? - How you doing. Grandpa? 568 00:39:39,076 --> 00:39:41,544 I'll be damned. 569 00:39:41,612 --> 00:39:44,012 You're getting to be a big man. Aren't you? 570 00:39:45,282 --> 00:39:47,910 - Let's go. - No. You go ahead. 571 00:39:47,985 --> 00:39:50,419 No. I'll wait right here. 572 00:39:50,487 --> 00:39:54,355 At my age. You don't want to get too close to an open grave. 573 00:39:54,424 --> 00:39:56,654 - Stay with him. Will you? - Sure. 574 00:39:58,762 --> 00:40:03,165 So. Grandpa. How come you didn't come to the church? 575 00:40:03,233 --> 00:40:06,066 God makes me nervous when you get Him indoors. 576 00:40:06,136 --> 00:40:08,900 Besides. I don't like to see people in their coffins. 577 00:40:08,972 --> 00:40:11,873 They always look so much smaller without their spirits. 578 00:40:21,618 --> 00:40:25,054 I was going to bring you a gift. but I forgot. 579 00:40:28,559 --> 00:40:30,993 Think you might like one of these. Huh? 580 00:40:31,061 --> 00:40:32,494 Which one you want? 581 00:40:32,563 --> 00:40:36,260 Hot Patty's Pajama Party or Girls with Big Jugs? 582 00:40:40,737 --> 00:40:43,331 Eat. There's casseroles. Cakes. 583 00:40:43,407 --> 00:40:47,503 I'll have turkey tetrazzini coming out the wazoo. 584 00:40:47,578 --> 00:40:49,842 Everyone loved him so. 585 00:40:49,913 --> 00:40:52,643 Did you see the wreath the boys from the junkyard sent? 586 00:40:54,418 --> 00:40:57,012 Larry! Was it me? Was I too much for him? 587 00:40:57,087 --> 00:40:58,111 No. Edie. 588 00:40:58,188 --> 00:41:00,622 He was the happiest he'd ever been with you. 589 00:41:00,691 --> 00:41:03,660 - I want you to meet my father. Vincent. - My sympathies. 590 00:41:03,727 --> 00:41:06,992 I'm sorry I missed your wedding. My hernia prevented it. 591 00:41:08,398 --> 00:41:11,925 Edie. I'm sorry. I have to go to work. 592 00:41:12,002 --> 00:41:14,527 We are still family even though Phil is gone. 593 00:41:14,605 --> 00:41:17,267 So don't be a stranger. Hmm? 594 00:41:17,341 --> 00:41:19,104 I won't. I promise. 595 00:41:19,876 --> 00:41:22,174 See you later. Bye. Pops. 596 00:41:22,245 --> 00:41:24,213 Nobody takes a day off when a man dies anymore? 597 00:41:24,281 --> 00:41:25,873 Jesus. 598 00:41:28,218 --> 00:41:31,710 You know. Funerals make women really horny. 599 00:41:31,788 --> 00:41:35,986 I never knew Phil all that well. but this is great turkey tetrazzini. 600 00:41:36,059 --> 00:41:37,959 Here. Mommy. 601 00:41:38,028 --> 00:41:39,893 Oh. Thank you. 602 00:41:39,963 --> 00:41:41,897 Look. I got to go show a car. 603 00:41:41,965 --> 00:41:44,729 As long as Chloe's going to stay overnight here... 604 00:41:44,801 --> 00:41:47,634 why don't you meet me about 7:30 and we'll go out to eat? 605 00:41:47,704 --> 00:41:49,729 If Mama doesn't need me. 606 00:41:52,209 --> 00:41:55,508 If your mom doesn't need you. Maybe you can meet me at the showroom. 607 00:41:55,579 --> 00:41:58,707 If Mama doesn't need me. I'll be there at 7:30. 608 00:42:05,022 --> 00:42:07,855 Beauty and the beast. 609 00:42:07,924 --> 00:42:10,484 I'm never going to get married. 610 00:42:10,560 --> 00:42:13,256 You wait. You'll see. You'll get married. Have kids... 611 00:42:13,330 --> 00:42:15,093 have a happy life. 612 00:42:15,165 --> 00:42:18,032 Don't eat too much butter though. 613 00:42:18,101 --> 00:42:19,830 You know what I'd really like to do? 614 00:42:19,903 --> 00:42:22,371 - What? - Kill someone. 615 00:42:22,439 --> 00:42:24,930 Calmly plan a murder. 616 00:42:25,008 --> 00:42:28,739 Choose the victim... maybe even someone political... 617 00:42:28,812 --> 00:42:31,178 so I could do the world some good. You know. 618 00:42:31,248 --> 00:42:34,445 I'd have to think about it first for a few years. 619 00:42:34,518 --> 00:42:37,043 Hey. It can't be any dumber than getting married... 620 00:42:37,120 --> 00:42:38,951 and going to work every day. 621 00:42:39,022 --> 00:42:41,217 I mean. It must be more fun. 622 00:42:45,128 --> 00:42:48,757 Mr. Z... I'm going to be a little late getting back. 623 00:42:50,500 --> 00:42:52,434 It's hard to rush a funeral. 624 00:42:53,737 --> 00:42:56,069 As soon as I can. 625 00:43:00,444 --> 00:43:02,742 - What took you so long? - Just get in the car. 626 00:43:02,813 --> 00:43:06,044 I think you forgot to say please. 627 00:43:06,116 --> 00:43:08,107 Just get in the car. Will you? 628 00:43:09,386 --> 00:43:11,445 Oh. You're so manly. 629 00:43:17,194 --> 00:43:20,061 There. There's my wife. 630 00:43:22,132 --> 00:43:24,066 We were married for 35 years... 631 00:43:24,134 --> 00:43:26,500 and she never once raised her voice to me. 632 00:43:29,673 --> 00:43:33,666 So then you know what it's like to lose someone? 633 00:43:33,744 --> 00:43:35,905 She went into the hospital to have a boil removed... 634 00:43:35,979 --> 00:43:37,469 and never came out. 635 00:43:37,547 --> 00:43:40,175 I moved upstate. bought some gas stations. 636 00:43:40,250 --> 00:43:42,047 I do quite well... 637 00:43:42,119 --> 00:43:45,987 but I've had to learn to live with loneliness. 638 00:43:46,056 --> 00:43:50,254 Life is that way. Who can explain it? 639 00:43:50,327 --> 00:43:54,127 I thought Phil and I would share the rest of our lives together. 640 00:43:55,198 --> 00:43:59,658 Now. All I have left is his share of the garbage company. 641 00:43:59,736 --> 00:44:03,536 What am I going to do with a garbage company? 642 00:44:03,607 --> 00:44:06,440 I don't know anything about business. 643 00:44:09,045 --> 00:44:12,037 Perhaps you would be interested in buying me out? 644 00:44:14,684 --> 00:44:16,982 Well. Maybe I could give you something... 645 00:44:17,053 --> 00:44:19,544 for your part of the business. 646 00:44:19,623 --> 00:44:21,591 Something? 647 00:44:21,658 --> 00:44:24,991 What neighborhood of something would we be talking about? 648 00:44:32,536 --> 00:44:35,130 - You'll be all right? - Bye. Mom. 649 00:44:35,205 --> 00:44:37,571 See you in the city. Son. I'm taking Mitchie with me. 650 00:44:37,641 --> 00:44:40,132 I don't think riding on that thing is good for his gonads. 651 00:44:40,210 --> 00:44:43,145 - My sympathies. Maria. - Bye. 652 00:44:44,848 --> 00:44:46,713 Good-bye. Larry. Thank you. 653 00:44:46,783 --> 00:44:49,183 - Bye-bye. - Are you coming with us. Maria? 654 00:45:09,972 --> 00:45:13,203 Why are we here? I thought you were taking me home. 655 00:45:13,275 --> 00:45:16,142 - Do you want to go home? I'll take you. - No. That's all right. 656 00:45:16,212 --> 00:45:18,112 I just wondered. 657 00:45:18,180 --> 00:45:20,444 What were you singing? 658 00:45:20,516 --> 00:45:22,279 I wasn't singing. 659 00:45:22,351 --> 00:45:25,878 You just didn't think I could hear you over the engine. But I could. 660 00:45:25,955 --> 00:45:29,186 You don't cry at weddings. but you sing at funerals. 661 00:45:29,258 --> 00:45:31,522 You told me you weren't an interesting person. 662 00:45:31,594 --> 00:45:34,392 - I'm not. - Come on. What were you singing? 663 00:45:36,132 --> 00:45:38,760 I don't sing for people. It's private. 664 00:45:38,834 --> 00:45:41,564 Oh. Well. Hum a few bars then. 665 00:45:46,308 --> 00:45:48,242 What song is that? 666 00:45:51,680 --> 00:45:54,444 Boy. I still have no idea. 667 00:45:54,517 --> 00:45:56,678 It's a Beatles song. Come on. Guess. 668 00:45:56,752 --> 00:45:59,346 I hate to break this to you. but that tune has no resemblance... 669 00:45:59,422 --> 00:46:02,152 to any song the Beatles ever recorded. 670 00:46:02,224 --> 00:46:04,249 It's "The Long and Winding Road." 671 00:46:04,326 --> 00:46:06,521 Oh. No. No. that goes more like... 672 00:46:10,833 --> 00:46:13,427 You're worse than I am. 673 00:46:13,502 --> 00:46:16,869 - Are you going to push me off? - I thought you trusted me. 674 00:46:16,939 --> 00:46:18,907 Here. Hold on to my shoulders. Ready? 675 00:46:18,974 --> 00:46:21,135 Push against me. 676 00:46:21,210 --> 00:46:22,871 Whoa! Isn't that exciting? 677 00:46:22,945 --> 00:46:24,435 I guess so. 678 00:46:27,049 --> 00:46:28,846 Come here. 679 00:46:33,022 --> 00:46:35,320 - My boat. - It's great. 680 00:46:35,391 --> 00:46:38,189 - I mean. It could be great. - She could be great. 681 00:46:38,260 --> 00:46:40,751 You always refer to a boat as a female. 682 00:46:40,830 --> 00:46:41,922 Why? 683 00:46:41,997 --> 00:46:44,431 I guess if you're some sweaty sailor out at sea for a year... 684 00:46:44,500 --> 00:46:47,298 you need to use your imagination. 685 00:46:47,369 --> 00:46:50,566 What are you going to do with she? 686 00:46:50,639 --> 00:46:55,508 I'm going to fix her up and sail off into the sunset. 687 00:46:55,578 --> 00:46:58,012 You have a rich fantasy life. don't you? 688 00:47:00,015 --> 00:47:02,279 Don't you? Don't you have fantasies? 689 00:47:02,351 --> 00:47:04,410 I do. But they're private. 690 00:47:04,487 --> 00:47:06,421 I don't tell them to anybody. 691 00:47:06,489 --> 00:47:10,585 - Not even a dance teacher? - You're not just a dance teacher. 692 00:47:10,659 --> 00:47:12,650 I can't figure out what you are. 693 00:47:12,728 --> 00:47:15,060 Hey. Isn't that what everybody wants... 694 00:47:15,131 --> 00:47:17,395 a smooth-sailing life? 695 00:47:17,466 --> 00:47:19,400 You can achieve that for a minute... 696 00:47:19,468 --> 00:47:21,663 out on the dance floor or the water. 697 00:47:23,939 --> 00:47:25,873 Look how lovely. 698 00:47:30,212 --> 00:47:33,648 - That one would look great on you. - Tom hates me in hats. 699 00:47:33,716 --> 00:47:35,308 Then I'll buy it for you. 700 00:47:38,954 --> 00:47:42,890 But the look on Tom's face... 701 00:47:42,958 --> 00:47:45,791 We'll take that one right there. 702 00:47:45,861 --> 00:47:49,160 What does your wife hate you to wear? 703 00:47:49,231 --> 00:47:52,291 Boxer shorts. She doesn't think they're sexy. 704 00:47:52,368 --> 00:47:54,302 Oh. I think they're very sexy. 705 00:47:56,205 --> 00:47:58,264 We're gonna be bad. We're gonna be so bad. 706 00:48:04,513 --> 00:48:07,710 Hey. I got him. He's gonna buy a 325 loaded. 707 00:48:07,783 --> 00:48:11,082 Chrome wheels. Tinted glass. alarm. Phone. Wool carpets. 708 00:48:11,153 --> 00:48:15,249 Two more Beamers and l... I win your trip to Vegas. 709 00:48:16,258 --> 00:48:20,251 - I don't even like the color. - Just sit in it. 710 00:48:20,329 --> 00:48:22,263 I don't like it. 711 00:48:34,076 --> 00:48:36,135 Listen... 712 00:48:36,212 --> 00:48:40,410 the beauty of the Subaru is that it is so cost-efficient... 713 00:48:40,482 --> 00:48:43,576 that I bet a woman like you could talk him into one for him... 714 00:48:43,652 --> 00:48:45,051 and then one for yourself. 715 00:48:46,255 --> 00:48:48,052 Do this. 716 00:48:48,123 --> 00:48:51,217 Let me take you for a test drive in that little blue wagon. 717 00:49:13,015 --> 00:49:14,983 Look this way. Now see there? 718 00:49:15,050 --> 00:49:17,245 Want to go up further that way? 719 00:49:17,319 --> 00:49:19,583 - This way? - Yeah. That's good. 720 00:49:19,655 --> 00:49:21,953 You're really doing that well. 721 00:49:22,024 --> 00:49:24,549 I need to talk to you. 722 00:49:24,627 --> 00:49:26,219 I'm with a customer... 723 00:49:26,295 --> 00:49:29,389 but if you're interested in a makeover. you'll have to wait your turn. 724 00:49:29,465 --> 00:49:31,194 Now. I want you to try the dusty rose. 725 00:49:31,267 --> 00:49:33,701 - This is important. - So is my career. 726 00:49:33,769 --> 00:49:35,430 Line right there. 727 00:49:35,504 --> 00:49:38,268 I'm with a customer. 728 00:49:41,210 --> 00:49:43,041 - Now that. That works. - Yeah? 729 00:49:43,112 --> 00:49:45,444 Yeah. That definitely works. 730 00:49:45,514 --> 00:49:48,608 Your husband is having an affair with my wife. 731 00:49:51,053 --> 00:49:53,920 You are insane. 732 00:49:53,989 --> 00:49:56,981 If I had any idea how insane you were... 733 00:49:57,059 --> 00:49:59,391 I would never have let you start up with me. 734 00:50:00,296 --> 00:50:02,355 What? You seduced me! 735 00:50:05,334 --> 00:50:08,360 I'm sorry. I'll be right back. 736 00:50:08,437 --> 00:50:10,405 Take your time. Honey. 737 00:50:14,610 --> 00:50:17,636 Your opinion of Larry is a tribute... 738 00:50:17,713 --> 00:50:20,443 to your insensitivity to other human beings. 739 00:50:20,516 --> 00:50:24,350 Larry would never have sex with someone like your wife. 740 00:50:24,420 --> 00:50:29,255 I'm not worried about sex. I'm worried about them having a relationship. 741 00:50:29,325 --> 00:50:31,225 You've ruined my life. 742 00:50:31,293 --> 00:50:33,989 And you are jeopardizing my new job here... 743 00:50:34,063 --> 00:50:37,032 as assistant manager of this department... 744 00:50:37,099 --> 00:50:41,468 so if you'd like a private consultation. please call for an appointment. 745 00:50:41,537 --> 00:50:44,904 And if you ever come here and upset me again... 746 00:50:44,973 --> 00:50:49,000 I will have the security guards throw you out of the store. 747 00:50:51,847 --> 00:50:55,510 - Now. Where were we? - Making the lips fuller. 748 00:50:55,584 --> 00:50:58,144 So I burned her underwear. So what? I'll buy her more. 749 00:50:58,220 --> 00:50:59,949 He's sick. He's a beast. 750 00:51:00,022 --> 00:51:02,547 How am I supposed to go anywhere looking like this? 751 00:51:02,624 --> 00:51:04,683 In some countries. bald is considered attractive. 752 00:51:04,760 --> 00:51:07,923 - I didn't marry you for looks anyway. - I want a divorce. 753 00:51:07,996 --> 00:51:11,329 Her and that lowlife appliance salesman aren't getting a dime. 754 00:51:11,400 --> 00:51:15,496 Excuse me. I'm sorry. Folks. but we're very late. 755 00:51:15,571 --> 00:51:18,301 I had no idea your job was so dangerous. 756 00:51:18,374 --> 00:51:19,534 Why are we running? 757 00:51:19,608 --> 00:51:22,236 - How about lunch? - I'm not hungry. 758 00:51:22,311 --> 00:51:24,336 Good. 759 00:51:30,953 --> 00:51:34,286 - Fish must be so happy. - They must be. 760 00:51:34,356 --> 00:51:37,757 They have mating rituals like Italian operas. 761 00:51:37,826 --> 00:51:40,761 I hate to leave. This was such a great idea. 762 00:51:40,829 --> 00:51:43,821 Let's call in sick. Maggie can take my classes. 763 00:51:43,899 --> 00:51:46,265 - I can't call in sick. - Then call in well. 764 00:51:46,335 --> 00:51:48,326 Tell your boss it's too beautiful a day... 765 00:51:48,404 --> 00:51:50,338 to take notes on other people's problems. 766 00:51:50,406 --> 00:51:53,000 I'll call for you. You want me to? 767 00:51:53,075 --> 00:51:55,066 No. I'll call for myself. 768 00:51:59,381 --> 00:52:01,747 If the lake were to swallow me up right now... 769 00:52:01,817 --> 00:52:04,479 I would die a happy man. 770 00:52:05,654 --> 00:52:08,589 It has been a long time since I have been this happy too. 771 00:52:10,426 --> 00:52:12,155 Is it just me... 772 00:52:12,227 --> 00:52:15,458 or do you also have this uncontrollable desire... 773 00:52:15,531 --> 00:52:17,465 to put our lips together? 774 00:52:21,270 --> 00:52:22,965 We can't. 775 00:52:23,038 --> 00:52:25,370 You're right. We can't. 776 00:52:26,608 --> 00:52:28,371 Why can't we? 777 00:52:30,913 --> 00:52:33,575 Have you ever cheated on Tish? 778 00:52:33,649 --> 00:52:35,640 Once... 779 00:52:35,717 --> 00:52:37,412 in Monopoly. 780 00:52:37,486 --> 00:52:40,649 I stole all her good properties while she was doing her nails. 781 00:52:41,723 --> 00:52:44,715 - How about you? - A Catholic schoolgirl? 782 00:52:44,793 --> 00:52:46,351 - Yeah. - No. 783 00:52:48,597 --> 00:52:50,189 So what will happen to us? 784 00:52:51,733 --> 00:52:55,191 Well. We could be lovers or we could be friends. 785 00:52:55,270 --> 00:52:57,795 We are friends. 786 00:52:57,873 --> 00:52:59,135 If we are lovers... 787 00:52:59,208 --> 00:53:01,403 we have to lie. 788 00:53:01,477 --> 00:53:03,172 I don't think I can do that. 789 00:53:03,245 --> 00:53:06,237 Yeah. Me either. 790 00:53:06,315 --> 00:53:09,409 Could we make love once and then never see each other again? 791 00:53:16,925 --> 00:53:18,358 Friends then. 792 00:53:18,427 --> 00:53:21,521 Very special friends. 793 00:53:21,597 --> 00:53:24,157 Tom and Tish will be insane with jealousy. 794 00:53:24,233 --> 00:53:27,100 So what? Who cares? We're gonna be innocent. 795 00:53:28,737 --> 00:53:31,205 We'll be this great couple. Years from now... 796 00:53:31,273 --> 00:53:33,605 we'll be in the Guinness Book of Records. 797 00:53:33,675 --> 00:53:37,611 "Twenty years." people will say. "and they never had sex." 798 00:53:37,679 --> 00:53:40,170 "You're kidding me." "No. It's true." 799 00:53:41,250 --> 00:53:45,516 And all those years. I'll be dreaming of kissing you. 800 00:53:46,588 --> 00:53:49,580 With tongue or without? 801 00:53:49,658 --> 00:53:52,627 How about just one? 802 00:53:52,694 --> 00:53:55,686 Friends. Remember. 803 00:53:55,764 --> 00:53:58,164 What do you do on the weekend? 804 00:53:58,233 --> 00:54:01,134 I spend as much time as I can with Chloe. 805 00:54:01,203 --> 00:54:03,433 Tom loves to go to restaurants he cannot afford... 806 00:54:03,505 --> 00:54:06,770 then complains all through dinner. 807 00:54:06,842 --> 00:54:08,366 - Bye. - Bye. 808 00:54:11,813 --> 00:54:13,747 Let's pretend to meet at a restaurant. 809 00:54:18,220 --> 00:54:20,780 - Saturday night? - I'll bring my father. 810 00:54:23,458 --> 00:54:25,392 Mario's. 9:00. 811 00:54:28,930 --> 00:54:30,454 Did you let it breathe? 812 00:54:30,532 --> 00:54:32,898 Sir. I personally gave it mouth-to-mouth. 813 00:54:39,107 --> 00:54:41,166 Excellent. 814 00:54:41,242 --> 00:54:43,107 Does anyone ever send it back? 815 00:54:43,178 --> 00:54:45,112 Not the house wine. Sir. 816 00:54:56,024 --> 00:54:58,288 Look who's here. 817 00:54:58,359 --> 00:55:01,021 Hey. Iook who's here. What a coincidence. 818 00:55:01,096 --> 00:55:02,324 Hi. 819 00:55:02,397 --> 00:55:05,924 - Come join us. - Yes. By all means. 820 00:55:06,000 --> 00:55:08,468 Really? What do you think? That'd be fun. 821 00:55:08,536 --> 00:55:10,026 What do you say? That would be great. 822 00:55:13,708 --> 00:55:16,142 I've always wanted to come here. 823 00:55:16,211 --> 00:55:18,406 Are those children's portions? 824 00:55:18,480 --> 00:55:20,675 The flowers are bigger than the food. 825 00:55:20,749 --> 00:55:22,512 Can we get more wine. Please? 826 00:55:22,584 --> 00:55:27,146 Look at all these self-satisfied pigs stuffing themselves. 827 00:55:27,222 --> 00:55:28,246 People are starving. 828 00:55:29,290 --> 00:55:32,384 I wish someone with an Uzi would walk in here... 829 00:55:32,460 --> 00:55:34,485 and take all this jewelry everyone's showing off. 830 00:55:34,562 --> 00:55:37,531 They're just symbols of a sick society. 831 00:55:37,599 --> 00:55:40,227 Hey. I started out pumping gas when I was your age. 832 00:55:40,301 --> 00:55:42,235 Now I own my own string of stations. 833 00:55:42,303 --> 00:55:44,828 That could only happen in this society. 834 00:55:44,906 --> 00:55:47,136 Please make them stop. Larry. 835 00:55:47,208 --> 00:55:50,075 I think everybody's entitled to their opinion. Don't you. Edie? 836 00:55:50,145 --> 00:55:52,511 Oh. Yes. As long as they agree with mine. 837 00:56:00,121 --> 00:56:02,089 So how do you like this wine. Vince? 838 00:56:02,157 --> 00:56:05,524 I'd rather have a case of the clap than a case of this wine. 839 00:56:05,593 --> 00:56:07,254 Pop... 840 00:56:10,465 --> 00:56:13,628 - See these prices here? - I think Phil would've wanted you... 841 00:56:13,701 --> 00:56:15,931 to take us all to dinner. 842 00:56:16,004 --> 00:56:19,201 I think Phil would have wanted you and me to split it. 843 00:56:22,510 --> 00:56:24,273 - To Phil. - Yeah. 844 00:56:24,345 --> 00:56:26,006 - To Phil. - To Phil. 845 00:56:35,590 --> 00:56:36,955 Excuse me. 846 00:56:39,327 --> 00:56:41,693 - What's wrong with her? - I don't know. 847 00:56:41,763 --> 00:56:45,927 - She went to the ladies' room. I'll go. - No. Mama. I'll go. 848 00:57:00,114 --> 00:57:02,275 - Open up. - Go away. 849 00:57:02,350 --> 00:57:04,443 Come on. Let me in. 850 00:57:04,519 --> 00:57:06,885 Please. Leave me alone. 851 00:57:12,627 --> 00:57:16,063 You bought him those terrible boxer shorts. Didn't you? 852 00:57:16,130 --> 00:57:19,657 I didn't mean anything by it. It was just a joke. 853 00:57:20,869 --> 00:57:24,100 Tom said you were having an affair. but I didn't believe him... 854 00:57:24,172 --> 00:57:26,970 until I saw the way you looked at each other. 855 00:57:28,309 --> 00:57:30,470 We're not having an affair. 856 00:57:30,545 --> 00:57:33,946 We have been playing a little game to get back at you and Tom. 857 00:57:34,983 --> 00:57:38,419 It's just gone too far. I'm sorry. 858 00:57:38,486 --> 00:57:41,421 She's so nice. 859 00:57:41,489 --> 00:57:43,480 She's so nice. 860 00:57:49,597 --> 00:57:52,157 - Go get us some ice cream. - But I don't want to miss anything. 861 00:57:52,233 --> 00:57:54,895 - Ice cream! - Please get us some ice cream. Mitch. 862 00:57:54,969 --> 00:57:56,163 Don't talk to him like that. 863 00:58:00,742 --> 00:58:02,334 Tish. Wait a minute. 864 00:58:02,410 --> 00:58:04,776 - Son? - What? 865 00:58:04,846 --> 00:58:07,542 - Are you bedding that woman? - Tish? 866 00:58:07,615 --> 00:58:10,550 I hope you're bedding your own wife. No. The other one. Maria. 867 00:58:10,618 --> 00:58:13,348 - No. Pop. I'm not. - You sure as hell act like it. 868 00:58:13,421 --> 00:58:16,652 - Both of you. - Well. I'm not. We're just friends. 869 00:58:16,724 --> 00:58:18,715 Well. Then. get your house in order. 870 00:58:18,793 --> 00:58:21,455 Pop. If you don't stop bossing people around... 871 00:58:21,529 --> 00:58:24,225 You know that tall building over there? It's called the Hilton. 872 00:58:27,635 --> 00:58:30,866 Tish. Come on. Sweetheart. 873 00:58:30,939 --> 00:58:34,033 Tish. Come on. You're making a big deal out of nothing. 874 00:58:34,108 --> 00:58:36,542 Tish. Open up. 875 00:58:36,611 --> 00:58:38,579 Come on. Sweetheart. 876 00:58:38,646 --> 00:58:41,638 You're not doing anything stupid in there. Are you? 877 00:58:47,722 --> 00:58:50,190 We haven't seen this outfit for a while. Have we? 878 00:58:52,393 --> 00:58:55,123 You're sure you don't want to talk about this. Huh? 879 00:58:55,196 --> 00:58:56,356 Guess not. 880 00:58:58,566 --> 00:59:00,591 Phil? Oh. God. 881 00:59:00,668 --> 00:59:03,102 What's happening? 882 00:59:05,707 --> 00:59:07,572 What? 883 00:59:07,642 --> 00:59:10,008 Oh. Great. You think I'm too young to talk about sex? 884 00:59:10,078 --> 00:59:12,808 Is that it? You know. I've had sex. 885 00:59:12,880 --> 00:59:15,678 - Yeah. Sure you have. - I have. 886 00:59:15,750 --> 00:59:18,310 She was 300 pounds. 887 00:59:18,386 --> 00:59:23,323 When I was on top of her. I was so high my arms and legs didn't touch the bed. 888 00:59:23,391 --> 00:59:26,258 And when she breathed. I flew up and down like I was on a trampoline. 889 00:59:28,463 --> 00:59:31,091 Why the hell do you make up all this nonsense? 890 00:59:31,165 --> 00:59:34,293 I'm a multimedia artist. That's what I do... make up nonsense. 891 00:59:40,174 --> 00:59:42,005 Do you still have sex? 892 00:59:42,076 --> 00:59:44,738 Rarely. 893 00:59:44,812 --> 00:59:48,248 - Do you miss it? - Yeah. Oh. God. 894 00:59:48,316 --> 00:59:49,908 Then why don't you have it? 895 00:59:53,021 --> 00:59:55,581 I've just been thinking the same thing. 896 01:00:11,305 --> 01:00:13,034 Smile. 897 01:00:13,107 --> 01:00:14,074 Good. 898 01:00:14,142 --> 01:00:18,545 Welcome to Weddingland. And which joyous event will you be attending? 899 01:00:20,848 --> 01:00:24,511 The Crystal Gazebo. A right. Then a left. 900 01:00:24,585 --> 01:00:26,849 Dusty. Will you take them? 901 01:00:31,526 --> 01:00:33,016 The Pink Rose Chapel. 902 01:00:33,094 --> 01:00:35,358 Isn't it romantic 903 01:00:35,430 --> 01:00:38,991 Music in the night A dream that can be heard 904 01:00:39,067 --> 01:00:41,467 Isn't it romantic 905 01:00:41,536 --> 01:00:45,563 Morning shadows write the oldest magic word 906 01:00:45,640 --> 01:00:47,232 Give me a kiss. 907 01:00:52,747 --> 01:00:55,307 Let me see the gut. Let me see the gut. 908 01:00:55,383 --> 01:00:58,011 No X-rated pictures. you bad boy. 909 01:00:58,086 --> 01:01:01,146 Weddings are joyful occasions. 910 01:01:01,222 --> 01:01:04,555 - They're pagan rituals. - He's got it under control. 911 01:01:04,625 --> 01:01:06,718 - Dad. I had the shot. - I know. 912 01:01:08,629 --> 01:01:10,756 How are you? 913 01:01:10,832 --> 01:01:13,027 Is that a dress you wear to a wedding? 914 01:01:13,101 --> 01:01:15,365 I made it. My own design. 915 01:01:15,436 --> 01:01:17,097 - See you later. - Bye. 916 01:01:18,172 --> 01:01:20,834 That's a dress you wear to a hooker's wedding. 917 01:01:20,908 --> 01:01:23,843 - Good to see you again. Edie. - Hi. Vince. 918 01:01:23,911 --> 01:01:25,503 How do you do? 919 01:01:57,879 --> 01:01:59,244 Mr. D... how are you? 920 01:02:12,393 --> 01:02:14,190 A time for love 921 01:02:22,670 --> 01:02:24,900 It's too loud. 922 01:02:28,576 --> 01:02:30,203 That is a beautiful dress. 923 01:02:31,179 --> 01:02:34,478 - Here's looking at you. Kid. - Weddings really turn me on. 924 01:02:38,953 --> 01:02:41,888 Music going all the time. Fantastic. 925 01:02:41,956 --> 01:02:43,218 I can't live without music. 926 01:02:43,291 --> 01:02:45,623 Look at her. 927 01:02:45,693 --> 01:02:49,060 Look at her. It's not enough she killed the first one. 928 01:02:49,130 --> 01:02:52,759 Now she's out to kill the brother too. 929 01:02:52,834 --> 01:02:55,029 The kiss of death. 930 01:02:56,971 --> 01:02:59,667 You're a sight for sore eyes. You know that. Don't you? 931 01:03:01,009 --> 01:03:04,706 I'm an old. Ionely woman. My life is over. 932 01:03:04,779 --> 01:03:07,304 I try to be a good grandmother now. 933 01:03:07,382 --> 01:03:09,907 I'm thinking of making jam. 934 01:03:09,984 --> 01:03:11,781 I like your shoes. 935 01:03:11,853 --> 01:03:14,344 It shows off your bubble gum toes. 936 01:03:15,423 --> 01:03:17,391 What was I saying? 937 01:03:17,458 --> 01:03:20,018 Giving me that crap about being old. 938 01:03:23,298 --> 01:03:25,562 Ladies and gentlemen, at this time... 939 01:03:25,633 --> 01:03:29,364 we're so happy to bring up to the dance floor for their first dance... 940 01:03:29,437 --> 01:03:33,203 Mr. And Mrs. Dean Kozinski. 941 01:03:33,274 --> 01:03:37,677 See the stone set in your eyes 942 01:03:37,745 --> 01:03:41,408 See the thorn twist in your side 943 01:03:44,285 --> 01:03:46,651 - Dance with me. - Sure. 944 01:03:46,721 --> 01:03:48,154 What? 945 01:03:49,424 --> 01:03:52,086 - Somebody dance with me. - Sure. 946 01:03:52,160 --> 01:03:53,787 What are you doing? 947 01:03:57,599 --> 01:03:59,590 And you give 948 01:03:59,667 --> 01:04:01,658 And you give 949 01:04:01,736 --> 01:04:05,570 And you give yourself away 950 01:04:05,640 --> 01:04:08,905 With or without you 951 01:04:10,311 --> 01:04:13,144 With or without you 952 01:04:14,782 --> 01:04:17,910 I can't live 953 01:04:18,987 --> 01:04:22,320 With or without you 954 01:04:27,095 --> 01:04:29,359 Go dance with your wife. 955 01:04:50,418 --> 01:04:52,682 Why don't we go for a walk? 956 01:05:08,069 --> 01:05:10,435 The marriage business is sure booming. 957 01:05:11,639 --> 01:05:13,573 Business is right. 958 01:05:21,582 --> 01:05:23,516 Would you and your wife like a piece of cake? 959 01:05:23,584 --> 01:05:26,348 Thank you. But she's not my wife. 960 01:05:26,421 --> 01:05:29,254 In that case. can I have your phone number? 961 01:05:29,323 --> 01:05:31,314 - What are you doing? - Congratulations. 962 01:05:31,392 --> 01:05:32,984 Thank you. Kidding. 963 01:05:34,862 --> 01:05:37,763 What do you think we would be like as a married couple? 964 01:05:37,832 --> 01:05:40,198 Horrendous. Awful. 965 01:05:40,268 --> 01:05:43,169 Sure. At first you'd find me witty. Charming. 966 01:05:43,237 --> 01:05:46,331 Fall in love with those cute sounds I make in the morning. 967 01:05:46,407 --> 01:05:49,376 But then in about three months you'd want to smother me with a pillow... 968 01:05:49,444 --> 01:05:51,435 'cause I talk too much. 969 01:05:51,512 --> 01:05:53,036 I love our talks. 970 01:05:53,114 --> 01:05:55,742 We talk now 'cause we're not married. 971 01:05:58,453 --> 01:06:00,717 - They're in love! - They're not in love. 972 01:06:00,788 --> 01:06:02,312 They are. 973 01:06:02,390 --> 01:06:05,450 And it's our fault. I'm out. 974 01:06:05,526 --> 01:06:07,926 They're not in love. Here. 975 01:06:07,995 --> 01:06:10,623 Have some of mine. 976 01:06:10,698 --> 01:06:13,496 Why are you being so nice to me? To make them jealous. Right? 977 01:06:13,568 --> 01:06:15,832 I've always been nice to you. 978 01:06:16,971 --> 01:06:20,065 - Never. - Then how come you had sex with me? 979 01:06:21,142 --> 01:06:24,771 I thought you were intelligent and going somewhere with your life. 980 01:06:24,846 --> 01:06:27,280 But I've had cause to reconsider my first opinion. 981 01:06:27,348 --> 01:06:30,215 I'm goin' somewhere. You think I'm gonna sell Subarus forever. 982 01:06:30,284 --> 01:06:32,047 Plus. I have a lot of deep thoughts. 983 01:06:33,020 --> 01:06:36,615 I just have a hard time talkin' to women. 984 01:06:36,691 --> 01:06:38,625 You're talking to me. 985 01:06:39,694 --> 01:06:42,060 You're different. 986 01:06:42,130 --> 01:06:43,119 How? 987 01:06:43,197 --> 01:06:45,324 I don't know. Different. 988 01:06:46,467 --> 01:06:48,401 Different than Maria. 989 01:06:54,976 --> 01:06:57,877 Maria's too good for me. 990 01:07:00,782 --> 01:07:04,343 If Larry got a good job and stopped playing that trumpet... 991 01:07:04,418 --> 01:07:06,010 I could be happy. 992 01:07:06,087 --> 01:07:08,749 And I wouldn't be attracted to someone like you. 993 01:07:08,823 --> 01:07:10,757 What the hell does that mean. someone like me? 994 01:07:10,825 --> 01:07:13,919 Hi-ho, the derry-o The bride cuts the cake 995 01:07:13,995 --> 01:07:16,088 The bride cuts the cake 996 01:07:18,499 --> 01:07:20,729 Where the hell you been? Where you been? 997 01:07:20,802 --> 01:07:23,032 - Where the hell's my wife? - Tom. You're drunk. 998 01:07:23,104 --> 01:07:25,664 Where's Maria? Have you seen her? Don't worry about it. 999 01:07:25,740 --> 01:07:28,072 Come watch them cut the cake. 1000 01:07:28,142 --> 01:07:31,168 - That's an idea. - Stop. Tom. Stop. 1001 01:07:40,321 --> 01:07:41,948 Mama. The cake! 1002 01:07:42,023 --> 01:07:44,014 I know. Hon. Don't... 1003 01:07:44,091 --> 01:07:46,719 Mama. Will you open the door? 1004 01:07:46,794 --> 01:07:48,728 You go straight. 1005 01:08:00,007 --> 01:08:03,101 Sweetheart. Are you going to be sick again? 1006 01:08:04,178 --> 01:08:05,770 Lie still. Dear. 1007 01:08:06,647 --> 01:08:08,512 I'll get a Hefty bag. 1008 01:08:09,083 --> 01:08:11,017 Can I use a phone to call a cab? 1009 01:08:11,085 --> 01:08:13,019 Don't be ridiculous. Take my car. 1010 01:08:13,087 --> 01:08:15,920 I'll stay here tonight. You can bring it back tomorrow... 1011 01:08:15,990 --> 01:08:18,288 with a full tank of gas. 1012 01:08:18,359 --> 01:08:20,554 I'll bring it back tomorrow on one condition... 1013 01:08:20,628 --> 01:08:22,562 pick you up to have dinner. 1014 01:08:24,098 --> 01:08:25,690 We are not compatible. 1015 01:08:25,766 --> 01:08:27,927 Come on. Dinner. 1016 01:08:28,002 --> 01:08:29,435 On me. 1017 01:08:31,906 --> 01:08:33,430 All right. 1018 01:08:33,507 --> 01:08:36,943 - You made an old man very happy. - You are not so old. 1019 01:08:37,011 --> 01:08:39,206 Yeah. I know. and I'm not so happy. 1020 01:08:56,864 --> 01:08:58,889 He'll be fine. 1021 01:08:58,966 --> 01:09:01,332 This is so crazy. We haven't done anything. 1022 01:09:01,402 --> 01:09:03,302 They think we have. 1023 01:09:11,946 --> 01:09:13,607 We have to stop. 1024 01:09:13,681 --> 01:09:15,114 I know. 1025 01:09:16,918 --> 01:09:19,113 It's so unfair. 1026 01:09:19,186 --> 01:09:21,450 You've become my best friend. 1027 01:09:25,860 --> 01:09:28,351 Don't you know. married men and women... 1028 01:09:28,429 --> 01:09:31,557 are only allowed to be close friends in large groups? 1029 01:09:35,770 --> 01:09:37,362 For Tish. 1030 01:09:47,381 --> 01:09:49,315 I'm gonna miss you. 1031 01:09:59,093 --> 01:10:02,221 - Mitch. Don't do that. - It's so cool. 1032 01:10:02,296 --> 01:10:04,161 Just don't. 1033 01:10:04,231 --> 01:10:06,165 Feeling better? 1034 01:10:06,233 --> 01:10:08,667 Do you want me to leave? 1035 01:10:10,671 --> 01:10:13,538 I will if you want me to. 1036 01:10:13,607 --> 01:10:16,770 I've always liked you so much. 1037 01:10:16,844 --> 01:10:19,847 I like you too. 1038 01:10:20,480 --> 01:10:23,176 I was almost unfaithful to your father once. 1039 01:10:23,250 --> 01:10:25,115 I knew this was coming. 1040 01:10:25,185 --> 01:10:26,982 He was a barber. 1041 01:10:27,054 --> 01:10:30,148 He looked just like John Forsythe. only bald. 1042 01:10:30,224 --> 01:10:31,816 And Italian. 1043 01:10:33,193 --> 01:10:36,629 - I'm not sleeping with Larry. - But you are thinking about it. 1044 01:10:37,431 --> 01:10:40,559 He makes me feel good. We talk. We walk. We have fun. 1045 01:10:40,634 --> 01:10:42,329 What's so wrong? 1046 01:10:42,402 --> 01:10:45,030 This walk you are taking is right into quicksand. 1047 01:10:45,105 --> 01:10:47,437 I haven't been happy with Tom in a long time. 1048 01:10:48,041 --> 01:10:49,975 Who says you are supposed to be happy? 1049 01:10:50,043 --> 01:10:51,601 Oh. Excuse me. 1050 01:10:51,678 --> 01:10:54,146 I dare to want to be happy. 1051 01:10:55,215 --> 01:10:58,673 As my mother used to say... 1052 01:11:01,555 --> 01:11:04,217 Why must my problems always have to be solved with proverbs? 1053 01:11:04,291 --> 01:11:07,317 - You've a nice home. Beautiful child. - An unfaithful husband. 1054 01:11:07,394 --> 01:11:09,828 Doesn't mean he doesn't love you. It just means he's stupid. 1055 01:11:09,897 --> 01:11:15,164 I think Tom wanted to get caught because he's unhappy too. 1056 01:11:15,235 --> 01:11:18,170 Maria. I just want to ask you a question... 1057 01:11:18,238 --> 01:11:21,639 and then I'll shut up and mind my own business. 1058 01:11:21,708 --> 01:11:25,974 Are you ready to change your life and the life of those close to you... 1059 01:11:26,046 --> 01:11:27,980 for a dance teacher? 1060 01:11:29,650 --> 01:11:31,845 Until you are sure... 1061 01:11:31,919 --> 01:11:34,410 don't do anything you'll regret. 1062 01:12:25,505 --> 01:12:27,370 Sorry. 1063 01:13:00,774 --> 01:13:02,207 Don't move! 1064 01:14:42,342 --> 01:14:44,207 Oak Lane? 1065 01:14:44,277 --> 01:14:46,871 'Round the bend. 1066 01:14:46,947 --> 01:14:48,380 Are you happy? 1067 01:14:48,448 --> 01:14:50,211 About what? 1068 01:15:07,367 --> 01:15:09,631 We'd like to rent one of your cottages. Please. 1069 01:15:09,703 --> 01:15:11,568 For how long? 1070 01:15:15,709 --> 01:15:17,574 Just for the afternoon. Thanks. 1071 01:15:20,714 --> 01:15:22,204 It's nice. 1072 01:15:39,132 --> 01:15:43,091 Fireplace works. No room service but the caf� off the highway delivers. 1073 01:15:43,170 --> 01:15:45,468 Menu's by the phone. 1074 01:15:45,539 --> 01:15:48,474 And yes. The paintings are for sale. 1075 01:15:53,480 --> 01:15:55,072 I love it. 1076 01:15:57,417 --> 01:15:58,850 Nervous? 1077 01:16:01,588 --> 01:16:03,021 Me too. 1078 01:16:16,203 --> 01:16:18,899 Oh. Shit. We broke the lamp. 1079 01:16:23,843 --> 01:16:26,778 I wanted to do something like that my entire life. 1080 01:16:29,983 --> 01:16:32,247 Look. Your lip's bleeding. 1081 01:16:34,955 --> 01:16:36,889 I bit my lip. 1082 01:16:38,058 --> 01:16:39,491 Round three? 1083 01:17:50,463 --> 01:17:52,897 What's this? 1084 01:17:52,966 --> 01:17:55,093 They're all yours. Mitchie. 1085 01:17:55,168 --> 01:17:56,936 I'm goin' for the real thing. 1086 01:18:01,340 --> 01:18:03,205 Samurai hairstylist. 1087 01:18:05,177 --> 01:18:07,645 I sure as hell hope you know what you're doing. 1088 01:18:10,883 --> 01:18:13,613 I don't know why I'm letting you do this. 1089 01:19:07,873 --> 01:19:09,841 Mandarin egg rolls... 1090 01:19:09,908 --> 01:19:11,466 shrimp cocktail... 1091 01:19:11,543 --> 01:19:13,807 turkey club sandwich... 1092 01:19:13,879 --> 01:19:16,143 and lox with scrambled eggs. 1093 01:19:16,215 --> 01:19:18,149 And a chocolate cake. 1094 01:19:18,217 --> 01:19:19,946 So what do you want? 1095 01:19:21,020 --> 01:19:23,545 - French fries. - And French fries. Please. 1096 01:19:23,622 --> 01:19:25,556 - Lots of ketchup. - Lots of ketchup. 1097 01:19:25,624 --> 01:19:28,058 Wait. Do you have any champagne? 1098 01:19:29,128 --> 01:19:31,892 Great. And please hurry. 1099 01:19:31,964 --> 01:19:33,556 Thank you. 1100 01:19:36,869 --> 01:19:38,461 That was quick. 1101 01:19:40,472 --> 01:19:43,407 It's the maid. Would you like the bed turned down? 1102 01:19:44,510 --> 01:19:46,102 No thank you. 1103 01:19:50,315 --> 01:19:52,340 I better call home. 1104 01:19:52,418 --> 01:19:54,818 Closer. 1105 01:19:54,887 --> 01:19:56,878 Closer still. 1106 01:20:03,996 --> 01:20:06,260 I'll be with her till Tom gets home. 1107 01:20:06,331 --> 01:20:07,923 Don't worry. Where are you? 1108 01:20:09,034 --> 01:20:11,161 Can I speak to Chloe. Mama? 1109 01:20:13,272 --> 01:20:16,002 Hi. Sweetheart. How was school today? 1110 01:20:17,609 --> 01:20:21,204 Leonard Pierson scratched you? This is awful. 1111 01:20:21,280 --> 01:20:23,214 Are you all right? 1112 01:20:24,616 --> 01:20:26,880 I'm gonna be home a little late tonight. 1113 01:20:28,287 --> 01:20:29,811 Why? 1114 01:20:29,888 --> 01:20:33,619 I'm seeing some friends. but I'll be home to kiss you good night. 1115 01:20:36,228 --> 01:20:38,696 Be a good girl for Daddy. 1116 01:20:38,764 --> 01:20:40,698 I love you. 1117 01:20:46,305 --> 01:20:48,569 I had to lie to my daughter. 1118 01:21:49,535 --> 01:21:52,197 I'll bet this one is the first one she ever sold. 1119 01:21:54,273 --> 01:21:56,264 It's late. 1120 01:21:56,341 --> 01:21:58,502 I'm sorry I fell asleep. 1121 01:21:58,577 --> 01:22:00,511 I fell asleep too. 1122 01:22:01,580 --> 01:22:05,676 Does falling asleep mean we've got each other out of our system? 1123 01:22:07,519 --> 01:22:10,044 It means we were both tired. 1124 01:22:16,862 --> 01:22:18,454 I'd better go. 1125 01:22:19,665 --> 01:22:21,599 I'll call you tomorrow. 1126 01:23:49,755 --> 01:23:52,280 Your office called. 1127 01:23:52,357 --> 01:23:54,917 You called in sick. So they wanted to know if you were all right. 1128 01:23:56,228 --> 01:23:58,628 Are you all right? 1129 01:24:00,132 --> 01:24:03,898 If I hadn't acted like an idiot. would this have happened? 1130 01:24:03,969 --> 01:24:06,096 You were just being you. 1131 01:24:09,308 --> 01:24:12,505 A man thinks he has to prove himself by being with a lot of women... 1132 01:24:14,212 --> 01:24:16,646 If you're gonna tell me about your infidelities... 1133 01:24:16,715 --> 01:24:18,649 I will have to leave you forever. 1134 01:24:30,762 --> 01:24:33,253 Chloe's teacher would like to talk to you. 1135 01:24:42,674 --> 01:24:44,369 Are you in love with him? 1136 01:24:48,714 --> 01:24:51,274 If I am. I'll get over it. 1137 01:24:54,820 --> 01:24:57,482 We were in love once upon a time. 1138 01:24:57,556 --> 01:24:59,148 We got over it. 1139 01:25:39,965 --> 01:25:42,433 You go near my wife again... 1140 01:25:42,501 --> 01:25:44,435 and I'll kill you. 1141 01:25:57,315 --> 01:25:59,783 Hey. Pop. What's the matter? 1142 01:26:01,420 --> 01:26:03,980 My brother Phil just called me from the grave. 1143 01:26:04,055 --> 01:26:07,593 Said to stay away from Edie or he'd kill me. 1144 01:26:09,027 --> 01:26:11,495 You were dreaming. Pop. 1145 01:26:13,231 --> 01:26:15,290 She doesn't want me anyway. 1146 01:26:15,367 --> 01:26:17,562 Doesn't think we're compatible. 1147 01:26:17,636 --> 01:26:20,537 No. Don't do that. Let me make you breakfast. 1148 01:26:26,745 --> 01:26:30,181 I'm not leaving 'cause I'm angry or mad or anything. 1149 01:26:32,317 --> 01:26:34,877 I want you to be free to make up your mind. 1150 01:26:35,520 --> 01:26:38,819 - Where you going? - My mom's. 1151 01:26:38,890 --> 01:26:41,484 I'll have the rest of my clothes picked up later. 1152 01:26:42,494 --> 01:26:44,985 Your mother gives you hives. What are you doing? 1153 01:26:45,063 --> 01:26:47,998 Not this time. It's time I face up to her. 1154 01:26:49,568 --> 01:26:51,729 See. I'm not as dumb as you think. 1155 01:26:51,803 --> 01:26:53,896 I think you're the smartest person around here. 1156 01:26:53,972 --> 01:26:56,566 Wait a minute. Shouldn't we be talking about this? 1157 01:26:56,642 --> 01:26:59,736 - I've made up my mind. - At least let me help you here. 1158 01:26:59,811 --> 01:27:02,006 You can help me get a cab. 1159 01:27:07,519 --> 01:27:09,453 So how did your big date go last night? 1160 01:27:11,790 --> 01:27:13,382 Can you keep a secret? 1161 01:27:14,626 --> 01:27:15,854 Yeah. Sure. 1162 01:27:16,595 --> 01:27:17,823 So can I. 1163 01:27:25,604 --> 01:27:26,468 You... 1164 01:27:29,441 --> 01:27:31,033 Mrs. Davidow. Hello. 1165 01:27:31,109 --> 01:27:33,805 Hello. Mrs. Hardy. Good morning. Chloe. 1166 01:27:33,879 --> 01:27:37,440 - Did you want to talk to me? - Would you take over for a while? 1167 01:27:38,784 --> 01:27:41,252 I am concerned about Chloe's arm. She has a scratch... 1168 01:27:41,319 --> 01:27:44,720 - Excuse me. - She said Leonard Pierson did it. 1169 01:27:44,790 --> 01:27:48,089 You know. It's time for us to do some serious sharing... 1170 01:27:48,160 --> 01:27:50,924 and interfacing about Chloe. Mrs. Hardy. 1171 01:27:50,996 --> 01:27:53,464 Can I offer you a cup of decaf? 1172 01:27:53,532 --> 01:27:55,830 So what do you think? Is this beautiful? 1173 01:27:55,901 --> 01:27:58,426 Isn't it great? Leather. The whole thing. 1174 01:27:58,503 --> 01:28:01,267 What do you say we go for a ride? I'll go grab the keys. 1175 01:28:01,339 --> 01:28:04,240 Come on. I'll get the keys. I'll be right back. 1176 01:28:04,309 --> 01:28:06,539 This is it. I can feel it. I can smell it. 1177 01:28:06,611 --> 01:28:09,136 I'm taking them for a test drive. I know it. 1178 01:28:09,214 --> 01:28:11,682 I sell this Beamer. I'm off to Vegas. I got 'em. 1179 01:28:11,750 --> 01:28:13,615 I got 'em. Got 'em. Got 'em! 1180 01:28:19,324 --> 01:28:21,849 Oh. My God! My God! 1181 01:28:27,099 --> 01:28:32,036 Mel. Can you open up that window? I wanna take the 750 for a test drive. 1182 01:28:32,104 --> 01:28:34,800 - Can I tantalize you with something? - I'm here to see Tom. 1183 01:28:34,873 --> 01:28:37,103 A mistake. but I'll be right back. 1184 01:28:43,248 --> 01:28:46,740 So. You're finally buying a car. 1185 01:28:49,121 --> 01:28:50,554 Thinking about it. 1186 01:28:50,622 --> 01:28:54,251 I'll see you later. Be right back. Got it definitely under control. 1187 01:28:58,196 --> 01:28:59,686 I left Larry. 1188 01:29:02,601 --> 01:29:06,799 Are you crazy? You stupid shit! 1189 01:29:07,472 --> 01:29:10,441 - That was really great. - It was great. 1190 01:29:10,509 --> 01:29:14,673 - It wasn't so great. - What? It was great. 1191 01:29:14,746 --> 01:29:16,475 No. It was different. 1192 01:29:16,548 --> 01:29:18,448 Well... 1193 01:29:18,517 --> 01:29:20,644 it's different in a bed. 1194 01:29:21,720 --> 01:29:23,881 It's not the bed. It's different. 1195 01:29:25,323 --> 01:29:26,585 You're different. 1196 01:29:29,060 --> 01:29:32,052 Well. It's different now that you're... 1197 01:29:33,231 --> 01:29:36,689 - Now that I'm what? - Now that you're... 1198 01:29:36,768 --> 01:29:39,168 on your own. 1199 01:29:39,237 --> 01:29:40,829 Oh. My God. 1200 01:29:42,107 --> 01:29:44,041 I just realized something. 1201 01:29:45,110 --> 01:29:47,840 You're one of those men who can only do this because you're married. 1202 01:29:47,913 --> 01:29:49,540 You're not interested in anyone... 1203 01:29:49,614 --> 01:29:52,412 - You'd have to be responsible to. - Calm down. 1204 01:29:52,484 --> 01:29:55,544 I'm up for a new position in the fashion office. 1205 01:29:55,620 --> 01:29:59,351 I took time out today because I thought that maybe you... 1206 01:29:59,424 --> 01:30:02,359 - You thought that maybe I'd what? - Nothing. 1207 01:30:02,427 --> 01:30:05,954 - There's a run in my pantyhose! - What's the matter with you? 1208 01:30:06,031 --> 01:30:08,522 I'm being tested and... 1209 01:30:08,600 --> 01:30:11,660 punished for my stupidity! 1210 01:30:11,736 --> 01:30:13,670 I deserve this. 1211 01:30:25,483 --> 01:30:27,542 She looks much better. 1212 01:30:27,619 --> 01:30:30,247 Hey. What a great surprise. 1213 01:30:30,322 --> 01:30:33,655 I had no idea how much I loved sanding. 1214 01:30:33,725 --> 01:30:35,716 Is sandpapering going to be your next job? 1215 01:30:35,794 --> 01:30:41,460 I don't think so. I was thinking you and me should open a restaurant. 1216 01:30:42,534 --> 01:30:44,092 Do you cook? 1217 01:30:44,169 --> 01:30:46,433 No. But I do dishes. 1218 01:30:48,039 --> 01:30:49,734 A restaurant? Where? 1219 01:30:49,808 --> 01:30:54,472 Somewhere we can hang a sign that says "Gone sailing" anytime we want. 1220 01:30:55,814 --> 01:30:58,408 - And people would understand? - Understand? Are you kidding me? 1221 01:30:58,483 --> 01:31:00,075 People will approve. 1222 01:31:01,419 --> 01:31:04,877 And what about your son. Wife? 1223 01:31:06,524 --> 01:31:09,960 Mitch goes to spend next term with his mother in San Francisco... 1224 01:31:10,028 --> 01:31:11,757 then college. 1225 01:31:11,830 --> 01:31:13,695 Tish... I don't know what she wants... 1226 01:31:13,765 --> 01:31:15,562 but it certainly isn't me. 1227 01:31:21,539 --> 01:31:23,734 It must be beautiful out there. 1228 01:31:28,713 --> 01:31:30,647 Does that mean you're gonna come along? 1229 01:31:33,585 --> 01:31:35,815 Chloe has been lying... 1230 01:31:35,887 --> 01:31:38,754 about a boy attacking her... 1231 01:31:38,823 --> 01:31:41,291 when actually she has been beating on him. 1232 01:31:42,661 --> 01:31:46,688 The teacher thinks she is acting out her anger toward Tom. 1233 01:31:48,867 --> 01:31:52,564 The other day she put a cat in the school dryer. 1234 01:31:54,806 --> 01:32:00,039 The teacher thinks it is 'cause she doesn't get enough attention... 1235 01:32:00,111 --> 01:32:01,976 'cause... 1236 01:32:02,047 --> 01:32:04,515 I'm not doing a good enough job. 1237 01:32:04,582 --> 01:32:07,415 No. Now kids go through stages. 1238 01:32:15,327 --> 01:32:17,659 My husband and my daughter need me. 1239 01:32:24,102 --> 01:32:25,467 And us? 1240 01:32:27,305 --> 01:32:28,237 "Us?" 1241 01:32:29,007 --> 01:32:31,407 Well. We do what generally people do. 1242 01:32:34,079 --> 01:32:36,445 Go on with their lives. 1243 01:32:40,251 --> 01:32:43,243 Maybe people aren't supposed to be happy. 1244 01:32:43,321 --> 01:32:45,812 No. I don't believe that. 1245 01:32:51,062 --> 01:32:53,121 I came to say good-bye. 1246 01:32:53,198 --> 01:32:54,631 I know. 1247 01:32:55,800 --> 01:32:57,734 Have you been crying? 1248 01:33:00,138 --> 01:33:01,571 I have. 1249 01:33:03,241 --> 01:33:05,709 I have been crying a lot lately. 1250 01:33:08,179 --> 01:33:10,773 Making up for all these years I didn't. 1251 01:33:16,654 --> 01:33:18,246 I'm fine. 1252 01:33:20,325 --> 01:33:23,658 You know. I'm only sorry we never had a chance to dance. 1253 01:33:38,376 --> 01:33:41,436 - You all gotta be crazy! - Pop. Please. I got enough problems. 1254 01:33:41,512 --> 01:33:43,343 Go home. I'll call you. 1255 01:33:43,414 --> 01:33:46,872 Listen to me for once. If you love that woman the way I think you do... 1256 01:33:46,951 --> 01:33:48,885 sometimes in life you gotta fight to the death. 1257 01:33:48,953 --> 01:33:52,684 I'm familiar with this philosophy. Attila the Hun said it first. 1258 01:33:52,757 --> 01:33:55,282 Listen to what your father Vincent Kozinski is saying first... 1259 01:33:55,360 --> 01:33:57,453 last and always. 1260 01:33:57,528 --> 01:34:00,395 You've got only one life to live. 1261 01:34:00,465 --> 01:34:03,901 You can either make it chicken shit or chicken salad. 1262 01:34:20,685 --> 01:34:22,676 Good chops. 1263 01:34:22,754 --> 01:34:24,585 I'm glad you like them. 1264 01:34:24,656 --> 01:34:27,022 - My favorite. - I know. 1265 01:34:27,091 --> 01:34:28,683 Thanks. 1266 01:34:28,760 --> 01:34:30,193 You're welcome. 1267 01:34:36,868 --> 01:34:38,301 Maybe... 1268 01:34:41,005 --> 01:34:42,939 we can make love later. 1269 01:34:44,909 --> 01:34:46,069 Good. 1270 01:36:32,383 --> 01:36:33,816 Thank you. 1271 01:37:37,915 --> 01:37:41,817 Phil said there's a future in garbage. Never thought it was my future. 1272 01:37:41,886 --> 01:37:45,287 You were very generous in your business dealings. Very generous. 1273 01:37:45,356 --> 01:37:48,951 - Don't let it get around. - You are not such a tough guy. 1274 01:37:50,461 --> 01:37:53,294 - Tough guy would make a pass at you. - But not you. 1275 01:37:53,364 --> 01:37:57,095 No? I'd say. "I got this big empty house in the country. 1276 01:37:57,168 --> 01:38:00,069 Come and visit me and we can celebrate." 1277 01:38:00,137 --> 01:38:03,436 I'd say. "I am too old for traveling." 1278 01:38:15,753 --> 01:38:17,345 I love you. Edie. 1279 01:38:18,956 --> 01:38:20,389 My God. 1280 01:38:38,609 --> 01:38:42,807 All right. All right. Poor baby. Poor angel. 1281 01:38:47,251 --> 01:38:49,378 You still wanna kill people? 1282 01:38:49,453 --> 01:38:51,751 - No. They're too stupid. - You're telling me. 1283 01:38:51,822 --> 01:38:55,258 Your grandfather's about to marry the Bermuda Triangle. 1284 01:39:02,266 --> 01:39:04,666 That's very good. Very good. 1285 01:39:06,571 --> 01:39:08,004 God bless. 1286 01:39:11,509 --> 01:39:13,340 Hi. Vince. 1287 01:39:14,812 --> 01:39:16,643 - Father. - Pleasure. 1288 01:39:16,714 --> 01:39:19,376 - You know my son. I'm sure. - Nice to see you again. 1289 01:39:25,456 --> 01:39:28,186 - You're late. - You've met Cathy. Haven't you? 1290 01:39:28,259 --> 01:39:31,251 Cathy. This is Tish. Tish. This is Cathy. 1291 01:39:31,329 --> 01:39:33,263 It's nice to meet you. 1292 01:39:34,632 --> 01:39:36,532 What? What? 1293 01:39:36,601 --> 01:39:38,262 Start! Start! 1294 01:39:46,577 --> 01:39:48,772 It's too late. I did it. 1295 01:39:48,846 --> 01:39:51,906 Look at those kids... cute. 1296 01:40:26,450 --> 01:40:28,611 Here we go. 1297 01:40:57,348 --> 01:41:01,876 Vincent. Will you take this woman to be your wife? 1298 01:41:01,952 --> 01:41:04,614 - Yeah. Can I kiss her? - Not yet. 1299 01:41:04,689 --> 01:41:06,953 - Say "I will." - I will. 1300 01:41:07,024 --> 01:41:10,551 Edie. Will you take this man to be your husband? 1301 01:41:12,496 --> 01:41:13,463 I will. 1302 01:41:13,531 --> 01:41:14,930 Vincent and Edie... 1303 01:41:14,999 --> 01:41:19,698 you've made this solemn covenant of marriage before God and this company. 1304 01:41:19,770 --> 01:41:22,034 Always follow your bliss. 1305 01:41:22,106 --> 01:41:24,404 Always follow what your heart says. 1306 01:41:24,475 --> 01:41:28,172 I now pronounce you man and wife. 1307 01:41:28,245 --> 01:41:30,372 You may kiss the bride. 1308 01:41:42,558 --> 01:41:46,551 At this point. Ladies and gentlemen. we need a volunteer from the audience. 1309 01:41:46,629 --> 01:41:49,621 - Somebody who will lend us a hand... - Me. Sit. 1310 01:41:49,699 --> 01:41:51,758 or perhaps his whole body. 1311 01:41:51,834 --> 01:41:55,429 I think we have one here. How are you. Sir? What's your name? 1312 01:41:55,504 --> 01:41:58,132 Hi. How are you? 1313 01:41:58,207 --> 01:42:00,641 Stan. We're going to ask you to remove your jacket. 1314 01:42:00,710 --> 01:42:02,678 And Michelle will help you off with it there. 1315 01:42:02,745 --> 01:42:04,645 Another girl in here? 1316 01:42:04,714 --> 01:42:06,841 Try not to be funnier than the magician. 1317 01:42:06,916 --> 01:42:09,316 Just lie down. Make yourself comfortable. 1318 01:42:09,385 --> 01:42:12,479 - We don't have to stay here long. - I'm fine. 1319 01:42:12,555 --> 01:42:15,251 But I don't want you to feel uncomfortable. 1320 01:42:15,324 --> 01:42:18,088 Why would I feel uncomfortable? I'm not if you're not. 1321 01:42:22,765 --> 01:42:24,494 Easy. Boy. Okay. Here we go. 1322 01:42:24,567 --> 01:42:26,865 - Ready? - That's good. 1323 01:42:26,936 --> 01:42:29,302 Congratulations on your promotion. 1324 01:42:29,372 --> 01:42:31,932 It agrees with you. You've never looked more beautiful. 1325 01:42:32,008 --> 01:42:34,602 Thank you. I've redone the apartment. 1326 01:42:34,677 --> 01:42:37,339 It's sort of postmodern meets the Jetsons. 1327 01:42:37,413 --> 01:42:40,439 - You should see it sometime. - I will. I will. 1328 01:42:40,516 --> 01:42:42,279 I'm good now. 1329 01:42:44,020 --> 01:42:45,282 Don't go away. 1330 01:42:47,957 --> 01:42:49,982 - You want a drink? - No thank you. 1331 01:42:50,059 --> 01:42:52,118 I'm gonna get a drink. 1332 01:42:53,763 --> 01:42:56,994 We're going to show you something really puzzling. 1333 01:43:03,039 --> 01:43:06,566 - I'm sorry. - Do you know why I married you? 1334 01:43:07,209 --> 01:43:08,904 My money? 1335 01:43:08,978 --> 01:43:13,176 Your eyes. I thought a man with your eyes would never hurt a woman. 1336 01:43:14,183 --> 01:43:16,117 Have I? 1337 01:43:19,956 --> 01:43:21,548 Good luck. Larry. 1338 01:43:22,625 --> 01:43:24,092 Thank you. 1339 01:43:33,069 --> 01:43:37,096 What we're going to do is introduce you to a little friend of mine... 1340 01:43:37,173 --> 01:43:38,936 Sammy the Saw. 1341 01:43:40,209 --> 01:43:44,009 You wanna go home? Good. Let's talk to Daddy. We'll leave. 1342 01:43:44,080 --> 01:43:46,514 He didn't have that much to begin with. 1343 01:43:51,654 --> 01:43:53,952 Hold on. Wait. 1344 01:43:54,023 --> 01:43:57,459 You know. I came this close to having her. 1345 01:44:04,767 --> 01:44:06,530 Ready? 1346 01:44:12,308 --> 01:44:14,242 - That was fantastic. - But we're not finished yet. 1347 01:44:14,310 --> 01:44:16,904 Put him together later on. I wanna dance with my wife. 1348 01:44:16,979 --> 01:44:18,913 Give us a waltz. 1349 01:44:55,184 --> 01:44:56,811 They look so sweet. 1350 01:45:29,251 --> 01:45:30,946 Tell your story walking. 1351 01:45:34,723 --> 01:45:36,657 Maria. Would you dance with me? 1352 01:45:36,725 --> 01:45:39,660 - No. She won't. - Please. Tom. 1353 01:45:42,698 --> 01:45:45,166 Well. Then how 'bout spending the rest of your life with me? 1354 01:45:45,234 --> 01:45:49,568 - What are you talking about? - I haven't fought for a long time... 1355 01:45:49,638 --> 01:45:51,936 but if you wanna fight. I will fight. 1356 01:45:52,007 --> 01:45:53,406 - Please. Please. - Fine. 1357 01:45:55,010 --> 01:45:56,500 What's going on here? 1358 01:45:56,579 --> 01:46:00,515 I'm trying to make some chicken salad out of chicken shit here. 1359 01:46:00,583 --> 01:46:03,211 Maria. Everyone is looking. 1360 01:46:03,919 --> 01:46:07,377 Wait a minute. I've kept my part of the bargain for Chloe's sake. 1361 01:46:07,456 --> 01:46:10,016 Maybe Chloe deserves more than a bargain. 1362 01:46:11,760 --> 01:46:15,127 You come and get in the car with me now or I'm leaving you for good. 1363 01:46:31,747 --> 01:46:34,079 Larry Kozinski. I would love to dance with you. 1364 01:47:27,136 --> 01:47:30,230 - Dance! Please. Everybody dance! - Dance! 1365 01:47:30,306 --> 01:47:32,900 I'm taking my present back. 1366 01:48:23,459 --> 01:48:25,359 - Come on. Mitch. - Here we go. 1367 01:48:25,427 --> 01:48:28,089 - Mitch. Come on. - Come on. Quick. We're gonna leave. 1368 01:48:28,163 --> 01:48:29,653 Come on. Please. 1369 01:48:29,732 --> 01:48:31,825 Come on. Mitch. Hurry up. 1370 01:48:33,302 --> 01:48:36,294 No. Dad. Dad. Stop it. 1371 01:48:37,606 --> 01:48:39,767 What are you doing? What are you doing? 102252