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1
00:00:17,559 --> 00:00:19,978
{\an8}[woman moaning]
2
00:00:23,148 --> 00:00:24,649
[bass-heavy music playing]
3
00:00:27,861 --> 00:00:29,404
[Jim] Oh, yeah.
4
00:00:29,487 --> 00:00:31,823
[woman] Oh, you're so good.
5
00:00:31,906 --> 00:00:35,243
Oh, yes. I am the best, baby.
6
00:00:35,326 --> 00:00:37,620
-[woman on television] Oh, yeah!
-Oh. Oh, that was a tit.
7
00:00:37,704 --> 00:00:39,539
That is a tit! Yes!
8
00:00:40,206 --> 00:00:42,250
Oh, you're so big!
9
00:00:42,333 --> 00:00:44,669
Oh, yeah. Yeah, that's right, baby.
10
00:00:44,753 --> 00:00:47,255
-[man] Oh, doggie wants to hide his bone.
-[woman] Yes!
11
00:00:47,338 --> 00:00:49,174
[man on television] Oh, yeah!I'm bone smuggling, baby.
12
00:00:49,257 --> 00:00:51,426
-Man, would you shut up?
-Oh, yeah!
13
00:00:51,509 --> 00:00:53,928
Hey, Jimmy.
Just wanted to say sweet dreams.
14
00:00:54,012 --> 00:00:55,513
Yeah, yeah. Sweet dreams. Good night, Mom.
15
00:00:55,597 --> 00:00:56,598
Kiss good night.
16
00:00:56,681 --> 00:00:57,974
[woman moaning on TV]
17
00:00:59,350 --> 00:01:01,269
Something wrong with the reception?
18
00:01:01,352 --> 00:01:02,645
Yeah. Yeah.
19
00:01:02,729 --> 00:01:04,022
There's this nature show...
20
00:01:04,105 --> 00:01:05,607
-[man] Take it off.
-... that I'm trying to watch.
21
00:01:05,690 --> 00:01:07,067
And the birds are all scrambled,
22
00:01:07,150 --> 00:01:09,277
-and I can't even...
-[woman] Do me! Yes!
23
00:01:09,360 --> 00:01:12,072
[woman] Baby! Ride me like a pony!
[volume increasing]
24
00:01:12,155 --> 00:01:15,617
[stammering] The thing must be broken,
or I sat on the remote or something.
25
00:01:15,700 --> 00:01:17,118
Getting ready for bed, son?
26
00:01:17,202 --> 00:01:18,328
Yup, I'm all set, Dad. I'm all set.
27
00:01:18,411 --> 00:01:19,662
-Yeah?
-No! No, I think
28
00:01:19,746 --> 00:01:21,581
he's tried to watch
some illegal channels here.
29
00:01:21,664 --> 00:01:22,999
Illegal... Illegal channels?
30
00:01:23,083 --> 00:01:24,918
This is just bad reception, honey.
31
00:01:25,001 --> 00:01:26,628
-[man] Oh, spank my hairy ass!
-What's that?
32
00:01:26,711 --> 00:01:28,254
-[woman] Oh, baby!
-Just do something.
33
00:01:28,338 --> 00:01:31,090
You know what? Here.
Just give me this, please...
34
00:01:31,174 --> 00:01:33,551
-Oh, my God!
-And let's get this... Oh!
35
00:01:33,760 --> 00:01:37,597
Okay, okay. Let's... What the hell's
the matter with this thing?
36
00:01:37,680 --> 00:01:38,723
[woman] Yes!
37
00:01:49,484 --> 00:01:51,861
[Oz] Illegal channels? Shit!
38
00:01:51,945 --> 00:01:55,448
If there's any channel that should be
illegal, it's that all-woman's channel.
39
00:01:55,532 --> 00:01:57,534
{\an8}Lifetime supply of pantyhose
40
00:01:57,617 --> 00:01:58,910
{\an8}-or some shit.
-Yeah.
41
00:01:58,993 --> 00:02:01,704
{\an8}Hey, did you see The Little Mermaid
on TV the other night?
42
00:02:01,788 --> 00:02:04,499
{\an8}No. Ariel, man. She's so hot!
43
00:02:04,582 --> 00:02:06,167
{\an8}She's a mermaid, dude.
44
00:02:06,251 --> 00:02:08,753
{\an8}Yeah, Oz. But not when she's on land.
45
00:02:08,837 --> 00:02:10,797
{\an8}[Kevin] Come on, Vicky,
it's Stifler's party.
46
00:02:10,880 --> 00:02:12,549
{\an8}We got to go. It'll be great.
47
00:02:12,632 --> 00:02:14,509
{\an8}[Vicky] Why?
All that happens at Stifler's parties
48
00:02:14,592 --> 00:02:16,886
{\an8}is a bunch of people get drunk and do it.
49
00:02:16,970 --> 00:02:18,263
{\an8}[Kevin] Yeah.
50
00:02:18,346 --> 00:02:20,265
{\an8}[Vicky] Now, come on, Kevin. Open it.
51
00:02:20,348 --> 00:02:23,643
{\an8}It's a big, thick envelope, Vicky.
You got in.
52
00:02:23,726 --> 00:02:25,478
{\an8}If you think so, just open it.
53
00:02:26,020 --> 00:02:27,063
{\an8}Fine.
54
00:02:33,319 --> 00:02:34,154
Hmm.
55
00:02:34,863 --> 00:02:38,741
"Dear Miss Latham, we're sorry,
but, after keeping you on the waiting list
56
00:02:38,825 --> 00:02:40,285
-for the past couple of months..."
-What?
57
00:02:40,368 --> 00:02:42,662
"...we've decided
that you are now rejected."
58
00:02:42,745 --> 00:02:44,080
-Shut up!
-[chuckles]
59
00:02:44,581 --> 00:02:45,874
You got in.
60
00:02:45,957 --> 00:02:48,501
Yes! I love you!
61
00:02:50,295 --> 00:02:51,421
Okay.
62
00:02:59,012 --> 00:03:01,014
{\an8}Hey, you think I should wear this shirt
to Stifler's party?
63
00:03:01,097 --> 00:03:03,516
{\an8}You've worn that shirt for, like,
three days in a row, man!
64
00:03:03,600 --> 00:03:05,476
{\an8}Guys, she said it.
65
00:03:05,560 --> 00:03:06,769
{\an8}Said what?
66
00:03:06,853 --> 00:03:08,104
{\an8}She said she loves me.
67
00:03:08,187 --> 00:03:10,440
{\an8}-Holy shit, dude! The "L" word?
-Oh, man!
68
00:03:10,523 --> 00:03:12,942
{\an8}Cornell's not that far from U of M.
69
00:03:13,026 --> 00:03:14,777
{\an8}Yeah, it's only, like, seven hours.
70
00:03:14,861 --> 00:03:16,613
{\an8}Oh, and you get to drive across Canada.
71
00:03:16,696 --> 00:03:17,906
{\an8}Beautiful country.
72
00:03:18,531 --> 00:03:20,825
{\an8}Whatever. It's doable.
73
00:03:21,868 --> 00:03:24,162
{\an8}What we should do today, in band,
74
00:03:24,245 --> 00:03:26,581
{\an8}instead of playing
our instruments regularly,
75
00:03:26,664 --> 00:03:28,207
{\an8}we should play them backwards.
76
00:03:28,291 --> 00:03:30,376
{\an8}-That'll be so funny!
-Yeah.
77
00:03:35,048 --> 00:03:37,800
{\an8}No offense, but you're talking
about a post-high school,
78
00:03:37,884 --> 00:03:39,510
long-distance relationship.
79
00:03:39,594 --> 00:03:41,596
And you and Kevin
haven't even done it yet.
80
00:03:41,679 --> 00:03:43,348
That's not why we're going out.
81
00:03:43,431 --> 00:03:46,976
What do you expect him to drive
to Cornell for? Milk and cookies?
82
00:03:47,060 --> 00:03:49,646
We're gonna have sex
when he's ready and I'm ready.
83
00:03:49,729 --> 00:03:51,606
It's got to be completely perfect.
84
00:03:51,689 --> 00:03:54,317
I want the right time, the right moment,
the right place...
85
00:03:54,400 --> 00:03:57,570
Vicky, it's not a space shuttle launch.
It's sex.
86
00:04:01,783 --> 00:04:03,952
{\an8}-Finch.
-Here's the man we are looking for.
87
00:04:04,035 --> 00:04:05,912
-Gentlemen.
-What's going on, buddy?
88
00:04:05,995 --> 00:04:07,413
Same old.
89
00:04:07,664 --> 00:04:09,415
[sighs] Finch. You got the Latin homework?
90
00:04:09,499 --> 00:04:10,833
Oh.
91
00:04:10,917 --> 00:04:13,002
[speaking Latin]
92
00:04:13,086 --> 00:04:14,212
[chuckles]
93
00:04:15,421 --> 00:04:18,007
It means, "My dog ate it."
It's Latin. It's a joke.
94
00:04:18,091 --> 00:04:20,635
-It's a Latin joke.
-Yeah, Latin. Just drink your coffee.
95
00:04:22,262 --> 00:04:24,555
-You know, Jim, it's mochaccino.
-What?
96
00:04:25,181 --> 00:04:27,350
What I'm drinking, it's mochaccino.
It's not coffee.
97
00:04:27,517 --> 00:04:29,435
'Nova!
98
00:04:29,686 --> 00:04:31,604
-[both groaning]
-What's up, dude?
99
00:04:31,688 --> 00:04:33,690
You coming to the party tonight, Ozzie,
you fuckface?
100
00:04:33,898 --> 00:04:35,984
[Oz] Depends if my date wants to stop by.
101
00:04:36,067 --> 00:04:37,318
I'm working on something new.
102
00:04:37,402 --> 00:04:39,153
I got an idea about something new.
103
00:04:39,654 --> 00:04:41,823
How about you guys
actually locate your dicks,
104
00:04:41,906 --> 00:04:44,701
remove the shrink-wrap,
and fucking use them!
105
00:04:44,784 --> 00:04:48,413
Dude, it's gonna happen.
She's a college chick.
106
00:04:48,496 --> 00:04:50,873
Yeah, right. I'll see you guys tonight.
107
00:04:50,957 --> 00:04:52,834
I'll look for you
in the no-fucking section.
108
00:04:53,084 --> 00:04:54,419
[laughs]
109
00:04:55,211 --> 00:04:56,045
[chuckles]
110
00:04:58,131 --> 00:05:00,508
[Kevin] All right. I'm shooting
for a 9:00 ETA,
111
00:05:00,591 --> 00:05:02,218
beer in hand by five after.
112
00:05:02,302 --> 00:05:03,303
Breath check.
113
00:05:05,763 --> 00:05:07,432
[Jim] Thank you.
114
00:05:07,515 --> 00:05:09,100
[gargling loudly]
115
00:05:11,728 --> 00:05:12,562
Ha!
116
00:05:13,479 --> 00:05:14,480
[sings]
117
00:05:15,189 --> 00:05:16,607
I wish you wouldn't do that.
118
00:05:16,691 --> 00:05:18,568
So you got something up
your sleeve for tonight, Finch?
119
00:05:18,651 --> 00:05:20,987
This is a foolproof plan, my friend.
120
00:05:21,070 --> 00:05:23,573
I have a serious question
to ask you guys. Okay.
121
00:05:23,656 --> 00:05:26,868
You know Nadia the Czechoslovakian chick?
She might be there tonight.
122
00:05:26,951 --> 00:05:29,037
Now, do you think she would prefer...
123
00:05:29,120 --> 00:05:29,954
[clears throat]
124
00:05:31,998 --> 00:05:34,083
laid-back Jim or...
125
00:05:36,294 --> 00:05:37,128
[clears throat]
126
00:05:37,754 --> 00:05:39,213
cool, hip Jim?
127
00:05:39,297 --> 00:05:41,674
I don't think it really matters
with that shirt you're wearing.
128
00:05:41,758 --> 00:05:44,719
What? Correct me if I'm wrong
but you're the one with the girlfriend,
129
00:05:44,802 --> 00:05:46,554
and you're still stranded on third base.
130
00:05:46,637 --> 00:05:49,557
Hey, at least I know what third base
feels like, okay?
131
00:05:49,640 --> 00:05:51,142
You're still just a batboy.
132
00:05:51,225 --> 00:05:52,769
Batboy. Batboy.
133
00:05:52,852 --> 00:05:54,228
What are you talking about?
134
00:05:54,854 --> 00:05:56,147
Guys, uh,
135
00:05:56,856 --> 00:05:58,941
what exactly does third base feel like?
136
00:06:00,359 --> 00:06:01,819
You wanna take this one?
137
00:06:03,821 --> 00:06:06,074
Like warm apple pie.
138
00:06:06,157 --> 00:06:07,784
-Yeah?
-Yeah.
139
00:06:07,867 --> 00:06:09,327
-Apple pie, huh?
-Uh-huh.
140
00:06:11,204 --> 00:06:12,997
-McDonald's or homemade?
-[engine spluttering]
141
00:06:13,956 --> 00:06:16,751
Gentlemen, destiny awaits.
142
00:06:24,467 --> 00:06:27,261
That's number five and six
for the Stif-meister!
143
00:06:28,262 --> 00:06:29,847
Oh, yeah.
144
00:06:29,931 --> 00:06:31,349
-[exclaims]
-Oops!
145
00:06:32,266 --> 00:06:34,894
-Holy!
-Hey!
146
00:06:34,977 --> 00:06:38,314
Nadia! Buenos días.
Glad you could make it.
147
00:06:39,023 --> 00:06:40,274
I'll be back for you later.
148
00:06:40,358 --> 00:06:42,360
[doorbell chiming]
149
00:06:47,365 --> 00:06:49,659
-Now the party's starting!
-How you doing?
150
00:06:49,742 --> 00:06:52,161
Welcome to Stifler's
Palace of Love, fellows.
151
00:06:52,245 --> 00:06:55,289
-The keg's back there! Enjoy!
-Yeah.
152
00:06:55,373 --> 00:06:58,626
Vicky, Jessica! Great to see you.
Glad you could make it.
153
00:06:58,709 --> 00:07:00,753
Ha-ha, bitches!
154
00:07:01,295 --> 00:07:03,005
-Sherman!
-Hey!
155
00:07:03,089 --> 00:07:05,258
What the fuck are you doing here?
156
00:07:09,428 --> 00:07:11,973
Fellows! What's going on?
157
00:07:12,056 --> 00:07:14,976
Sherman. Not much. Just scoping the babes.
158
00:07:15,476 --> 00:07:19,063
-Indeed! Some fine ladies here, boys.
-Mmm-hmm.
159
00:07:19,522 --> 00:07:22,692
Confidence is high.
Repeat. Confidence is high.
160
00:07:22,775 --> 00:07:25,194
Sherman is moving to DEFCON 2.
161
00:07:25,278 --> 00:07:28,030
Full strategic arsenal
ready for deployment.
162
00:07:28,114 --> 00:07:29,031
[girl] Hey!
163
00:07:29,115 --> 00:07:30,700
You have something going tonight, Sherman?
164
00:07:30,783 --> 00:07:33,077
You see that Central chick, Bernette?
165
00:07:33,453 --> 00:07:34,787
-No.
-No.
166
00:07:34,871 --> 00:07:36,414
She's around.
167
00:07:36,497 --> 00:07:38,583
Seems she's taken a liking to me.
168
00:07:38,666 --> 00:07:41,002
Fellows, it's time she experienced
169
00:07:41,711 --> 00:07:43,045
the Shermanator.
170
00:07:43,129 --> 00:07:45,381
Yeah, okay, Sherman. Whatever.
171
00:07:45,465 --> 00:07:49,427
I'm a sophisticated sex robot
sent back through time
172
00:07:49,510 --> 00:07:52,972
to change the future for one lucky lady.
173
00:07:53,389 --> 00:07:54,891
Go get them, Tiger.
174
00:07:54,974 --> 00:07:56,392
[imitating Arnold Schwarzenegger]
I'll be back!
175
00:07:58,936 --> 00:08:00,646
-Hopeless.
-Completely.
176
00:08:00,730 --> 00:08:02,273
-Hi.
-Hey, Vic.
177
00:08:03,232 --> 00:08:05,693
Oh, shit. Guys, guys.
178
00:08:06,277 --> 00:08:08,696
There's Nadia, and she just looked at me.
179
00:08:09,572 --> 00:08:10,740
She just looked at me.
180
00:08:10,823 --> 00:08:12,325
Well, why don't you go talk to her?
181
00:08:13,659 --> 00:08:14,952
Yeah.
182
00:08:15,870 --> 00:08:18,623
[stammering] Yeah, you're right, Kev.
I should just go talk to her.
183
00:08:19,123 --> 00:08:20,583
[girls chattering]
184
00:08:20,666 --> 00:08:22,335
Yeah, I could do that. Sure.
185
00:08:23,419 --> 00:08:24,545
Sure.
186
00:08:26,923 --> 00:08:28,925
Kev? Kev?
187
00:08:37,850 --> 00:08:39,143
[thudding]
188
00:08:39,227 --> 00:08:40,394
Yeah. Yeah.
189
00:08:51,030 --> 00:08:52,823
[inaudible]
190
00:09:03,501 --> 00:09:04,961
[laughing]
191
00:09:06,003 --> 00:09:07,255
That's great!
192
00:09:13,803 --> 00:09:15,346
[laughing awkwardly]
193
00:09:21,894 --> 00:09:23,229
See you later.
194
00:09:31,696 --> 00:09:33,197
We're here for the party.
195
00:09:34,574 --> 00:09:37,034
What party? There's no party.
196
00:09:37,868 --> 00:09:39,787
[shouting incoherently]
197
00:09:41,872 --> 00:09:43,040
Weird.
198
00:09:45,001 --> 00:09:46,544
Try the house down the street.
199
00:09:50,548 --> 00:09:53,175
[Oz] So what's your major?
200
00:09:53,259 --> 00:09:54,927
[girl] Post-modern feminist thought.
201
00:09:55,595 --> 00:09:58,973
Oh, cool. Great night, isn't it?
202
00:09:59,307 --> 00:10:00,474
Sure.
203
00:10:02,101 --> 00:10:04,520
Yeah, it's just something
about the springtime
204
00:10:04,604 --> 00:10:05,855
that's just cool, you know?
205
00:10:07,565 --> 00:10:10,818
Like the smell of fresh rain or something.
206
00:10:10,901 --> 00:10:11,986
Mmm.
207
00:10:13,279 --> 00:10:14,739
Suck me, beautiful.
208
00:10:15,698 --> 00:10:17,158
What did you just say?
209
00:10:17,408 --> 00:10:18,743
Suck me, beautiful.
210
00:10:18,826 --> 00:10:21,203
[laughing]
211
00:10:21,454 --> 00:10:26,125
My friends call me "'Nova,"
as in Casanova.
212
00:10:26,208 --> 00:10:27,335
That's pathetic.
213
00:10:27,418 --> 00:10:28,794
[girl laughing]
214
00:10:29,879 --> 00:10:31,672
Jeez, you don't have to laugh at me.
215
00:10:31,756 --> 00:10:34,050
Well, there's just some things
you need to learn. That's all.
216
00:10:34,133 --> 00:10:36,761
-Like what?
-Well, you've got to tone it down.
217
00:10:36,844 --> 00:10:38,846
You don't need to come
to a place like Lookout Point
218
00:10:38,929 --> 00:10:41,724
and spout off cheese-ball lines
to be romantic.
219
00:10:41,807 --> 00:10:43,017
Okay.
220
00:10:43,100 --> 00:10:44,810
You have to pay attention to a girl.
221
00:10:45,269 --> 00:10:46,896
Be sensitive to her feelings.
222
00:10:47,313 --> 00:10:48,939
Relationships are reciprocal.
223
00:10:49,607 --> 00:10:52,777
Come on, Casanova.
I'll take you back to your friends.
224
00:10:58,783 --> 00:11:03,037
Vicky, think it's time
to take the next step in our relationship?
225
00:11:03,120 --> 00:11:04,246
Tonight?
226
00:11:04,330 --> 00:11:06,165
Yeah, it's such a perfect evening.
227
00:11:06,749 --> 00:11:09,377
I mean, it's how you've always
pictured it, isn't it?
228
00:11:09,460 --> 00:11:11,712
[boy 1] Man, my farts fucking stink!
229
00:11:11,796 --> 00:11:14,673
[boy 2] Dude, you gotta take a shit!
You smell like a yeti!
230
00:11:16,133 --> 00:11:17,343
Or not.
231
00:11:18,803 --> 00:11:20,179
Just relax.
232
00:11:23,391 --> 00:11:24,517
[unzips zipper]
233
00:11:24,725 --> 00:11:26,310
You actually said that?
234
00:11:27,228 --> 00:11:28,604
[laughs hysterically]
235
00:11:28,687 --> 00:11:30,606
Shut up!
236
00:11:30,689 --> 00:11:32,525
You did a hell of a lot better
than I did with Nadia.
237
00:11:32,608 --> 00:11:35,861
Oh, thanks, Jim, that's great.
That's really reassuring.
238
00:11:35,945 --> 00:11:37,655
Hey, no problem, 'Nova.
239
00:11:38,531 --> 00:11:42,326
Hey, don't call me 'Nova anymore.
I'm a... I'm a fraud.
240
00:11:42,410 --> 00:11:44,203
You guys are pathetic.
241
00:11:44,995 --> 00:11:46,622
I'm gonna find myself a little hottie.
242
00:11:48,040 --> 00:11:50,209
"Suck me, beautiful!"
243
00:11:56,799 --> 00:11:57,800
Let me know.
244
00:11:57,883 --> 00:11:58,926
Okay.
245
00:11:59,009 --> 00:12:00,428
Keep going.
246
00:12:01,637 --> 00:12:03,514
I should be able to talk to girls.
247
00:12:04,306 --> 00:12:05,683
I'm articulate.
248
00:12:06,642 --> 00:12:08,727
You know, I got a 720 on my SAT verbal.
249
00:12:09,019 --> 00:12:11,105
Bullshit. There's no way.
250
00:12:11,188 --> 00:12:14,024
I kid you not, man. Look. Listen.
251
00:12:15,359 --> 00:12:18,487
Copious. Verisimilitude.
252
00:12:19,572 --> 00:12:22,533
Oh, oh. Now.
253
00:12:28,414 --> 00:12:29,540
[grunting]
254
00:12:33,544 --> 00:12:35,754
Suck me, beautiful!
255
00:12:35,838 --> 00:12:36,922
Damn it, Stifler.
256
00:12:37,006 --> 00:12:38,132
Checkout time!
257
00:12:38,215 --> 00:12:40,134
Please, vacate the room.
258
00:12:40,468 --> 00:12:42,094
You are such a jerk.
259
00:12:47,766 --> 00:12:50,644
God, I can't believe how many cool people
are at this party.
260
00:12:50,728 --> 00:12:51,812
Yup.
261
00:12:54,482 --> 00:12:56,525
And you got a keg too!
262
00:12:56,609 --> 00:12:57,860
Wow!
263
00:12:57,943 --> 00:12:59,278
Indeed.
264
00:13:04,867 --> 00:13:07,077
Oh, wait. I left my beer downstairs.
265
00:13:07,620 --> 00:13:09,371
No. No. Here, babe!
266
00:13:12,166 --> 00:13:13,501
Thanks.
267
00:13:13,751 --> 00:13:15,711
You're really beautiful. Oh.
268
00:13:16,712 --> 00:13:17,713
Really?
269
00:13:18,756 --> 00:13:19,882
Oh, yeah.
270
00:13:20,883 --> 00:13:21,717
[laughing]
271
00:13:31,936 --> 00:13:33,270
[chuckles nervously]
272
00:13:35,105 --> 00:13:38,108
You know what?
I don't know if I want to be doing this.
273
00:13:38,484 --> 00:13:39,610
Doing what?
274
00:13:39,693 --> 00:13:42,613
You know, like, if we hook up tonight,
275
00:13:42,696 --> 00:13:45,741
tomorrow I'll just be some girl
you go telling all your friends about.
276
00:13:46,033 --> 00:13:46,867
[chuckles]
277
00:13:47,284 --> 00:13:48,619
No way!
278
00:13:49,119 --> 00:13:52,081
Steve, you could at least
look at me when you say that!
279
00:13:52,164 --> 00:13:52,998
[sighs]
280
00:13:53,165 --> 00:13:56,001
Look. Sarah,
281
00:13:56,752 --> 00:14:00,548
I wouldn't go telling stories
or anything about you.
282
00:14:00,923 --> 00:14:04,343
I promise. So, just relax,
283
00:14:05,469 --> 00:14:09,306
take it slow, and let the good times roll.
284
00:14:11,600 --> 00:14:12,893
Okay.
285
00:14:12,977 --> 00:14:14,270
All right.
286
00:14:22,111 --> 00:14:23,571
What's wrong?
287
00:14:25,990 --> 00:14:28,033
What's wrong? What is it?
288
00:14:31,704 --> 00:14:32,830
Xenophobic.
289
00:14:32,913 --> 00:14:34,248
[Sarah shrieking]
290
00:14:40,504 --> 00:14:41,714
Regurgitation.
291
00:14:41,797 --> 00:14:43,007
I know that one.
292
00:14:44,300 --> 00:14:45,426
Kevin likes it.
293
00:14:45,509 --> 00:14:47,094
He likes getting head.
294
00:14:47,636 --> 00:14:50,222
Gee, what a total shocker.
What about you, Vicky?
295
00:14:50,306 --> 00:14:52,516
I mean, have you just
never had one with Kevin,
296
00:14:52,600 --> 00:14:54,643
or have you never had one, period?
297
00:14:54,727 --> 00:14:55,728
I've had one.
298
00:14:57,313 --> 00:14:59,273
-I think.
-Okay.
299
00:14:59,356 --> 00:15:03,152
That's a no.
No wonder you're not psyched about sex.
300
00:15:03,360 --> 00:15:05,404
You tell me you never even
had one manually?
301
00:15:05,529 --> 00:15:06,864
I've never tried it.
302
00:15:06,947 --> 00:15:08,449
You've never double-clicked your mouse?
303
00:15:09,867 --> 00:15:11,493
Ha-ha, nice!
304
00:15:12,328 --> 00:15:14,747
Jesus! Stifler,
how much did you drink, man?
305
00:15:15,247 --> 00:15:17,791
Hey, Stifler? How's the pale ale?
306
00:15:18,375 --> 00:15:19,710
Fuck you!
307
00:15:19,793 --> 00:15:21,211
[guys cheering]
308
00:15:23,130 --> 00:15:24,465
[Kevin] That's Stifler's mom?
309
00:15:25,174 --> 00:15:26,342
Yup.
310
00:15:26,592 --> 00:15:31,472
Shit. I cannot believe a fine woman
like this produced a guy like Stifler.
311
00:15:31,555 --> 00:15:34,183
Dude, that chick's a MILF.
312
00:15:34,266 --> 00:15:35,643
What the hell is that?
313
00:15:35,726 --> 00:15:38,771
M-I-L-F. "Mom I'd like to fuck."
314
00:15:38,854 --> 00:15:40,230
Yeah, dude!
315
00:15:40,314 --> 00:15:41,815
Oh, ho, yeah!
316
00:15:41,899 --> 00:15:43,484
-Yeah! MILF! MILF!
-Yeah! MILF! MILF!
317
00:15:43,567 --> 00:15:45,152
Hey, guys. Guys. Guys.
318
00:15:45,277 --> 00:15:46,528
Come here.
319
00:15:46,654 --> 00:15:48,614
Sherman, what's going on?
320
00:15:48,948 --> 00:15:52,826
Yeah, uh, don't you think
you fellows could try a little tact?
321
00:15:53,494 --> 00:15:56,372
I got company, if you know what I mean?
322
00:15:59,333 --> 00:16:00,709
She's hot!
323
00:16:02,419 --> 00:16:03,837
[door slams]
324
00:16:04,338 --> 00:16:08,592
If Sherman has sex before I do,
I'm gonna be really pissed.
325
00:16:09,760 --> 00:16:13,472
Sherman? The Shermanator?
326
00:16:14,598 --> 00:16:15,849
[both laugh]
327
00:16:15,933 --> 00:16:17,559
Come on, man.
328
00:16:19,645 --> 00:16:22,648
-MILF! MILF!
-MILF! MILF!
329
00:16:22,731 --> 00:16:25,859
Dude, hey, dude.
What are you doing to her, dude?
330
00:16:26,777 --> 00:16:28,904
Oh, my God, bro. Dude.
331
00:16:30,489 --> 00:16:32,533
Enough of this blow job bullshit.
332
00:16:32,700 --> 00:16:34,076
I gotta get laid already.
333
00:16:34,159 --> 00:16:36,036
[Vicky] That's nice. Really, really nice.
334
00:16:37,204 --> 00:16:39,248
-Can I have a ride?
-Sure.
335
00:16:40,541 --> 00:16:42,626
-Vicky, wait.
-Not for you.
336
00:16:44,211 --> 00:16:47,631
[boy, shouting] Yeti! I am the Yeti!
337
00:16:54,930 --> 00:16:56,724
[dog barking]
338
00:16:56,807 --> 00:16:58,767
-Good morning, gentlemen.
-Finch.
339
00:16:58,851 --> 00:17:00,185
Where were you last night, huh?
340
00:17:00,269 --> 00:17:02,062
What happened to that foolproof plan
of yours?
341
00:17:02,146 --> 00:17:06,025
Well, I was going for a fashionably late
entrance, and I was too late.
342
00:17:06,108 --> 00:17:08,193
So no ladies left.
343
00:17:08,777 --> 00:17:11,321
[Sherman] It was a very
special night, very special.
344
00:17:11,405 --> 00:17:12,406
[girl giggling]
345
00:17:12,489 --> 00:17:13,907
Guys. Guys.
346
00:17:16,827 --> 00:17:18,287
I'll never forget this.
347
00:17:18,370 --> 00:17:20,664
Oh, I'll never forget it, either.
348
00:17:20,748 --> 00:17:22,249
[Sherman] Thank you.
349
00:17:25,502 --> 00:17:27,504
-Well, bye.
-Bye.
350
00:17:29,131 --> 00:17:30,215
Bye.
351
00:17:33,635 --> 00:17:36,889
Fellows, say goodbye
to Chuck Sherman, the boy.
352
00:17:37,306 --> 00:17:39,600
I am now a man.
353
00:17:40,017 --> 00:17:41,894
I highly recommend you join the club.
354
00:17:42,394 --> 00:17:45,647
We were doing the wild thing all night.
355
00:17:46,190 --> 00:17:47,608
I'm exhausted.
356
00:17:47,691 --> 00:17:48,734
I don't get it.
357
00:17:49,401 --> 00:17:50,986
I mean, how the hell did you do that?
358
00:17:52,237 --> 00:17:55,699
It was just my time. It was just my time.
359
00:17:57,201 --> 00:17:58,702
Best of luck to you boys.
360
00:18:02,081 --> 00:18:03,791
I cannot believe this.
361
00:18:03,874 --> 00:18:06,919
Come on, guys. You know,
we should be happy for Sherman.
362
00:18:09,880 --> 00:18:11,340
No, we shouldn't be.
363
00:18:11,715 --> 00:18:14,343
You know, I put in months
of quality time with Vicky.
364
00:18:14,426 --> 00:18:16,595
Sherman meets a chick
for one night and scores.
365
00:18:17,221 --> 00:18:19,431
-This is just wrong.
-No shit.
366
00:18:20,099 --> 00:18:23,102
How the hell am I supposed
to become Mr. Sensitive Man?
367
00:18:23,185 --> 00:18:24,853
You know, we're all gonna go to college
as virgins.
368
00:18:24,937 --> 00:18:26,313
You realize this, right?
369
00:18:27,064 --> 00:18:29,650
I mean, they probably have
special dorms for people like us.
370
00:18:29,733 --> 00:18:31,527
All right. I got an idea.
371
00:18:32,694 --> 00:18:34,238
But it's got to stay between us.
372
00:18:34,822 --> 00:18:36,949
It's really simple.
We just got to make an agreement.
373
00:18:37,157 --> 00:18:39,326
No. It's more than an agreement.
374
00:18:40,119 --> 00:18:41,537
-What? A bet?
-[Kevin] A pact.
375
00:18:41,703 --> 00:18:44,164
No money involved.
More important than any bet.
376
00:18:44,248 --> 00:18:45,582
Here's the deal.
377
00:18:45,833 --> 00:18:48,293
We all get laid before we graduate.
378
00:18:49,336 --> 00:18:52,506
Dude, it's not like
I haven't been trying to get laid.
379
00:18:52,589 --> 00:18:54,007
Think about when you work out, Oz.
380
00:18:54,091 --> 00:18:55,592
You gotta have someone there, right?
381
00:18:55,676 --> 00:18:58,011
Someone to spot you.
Someone to keep you motivated.
382
00:18:58,637 --> 00:19:00,889
Well, that's exactly
what we can do for each other.
383
00:19:00,973 --> 00:19:03,392
I mean, we'll be there
to keep each other on track.
384
00:19:03,684 --> 00:19:05,978
Separately, we are flawed
and vulnerable, but, together,
385
00:19:06,061 --> 00:19:08,147
we are the masters of our sexual destiny.
386
00:19:08,230 --> 00:19:10,357
[imitating dubbed kung-fu actor]
Their tiger-style kung fu is strong.
387
00:19:10,440 --> 00:19:12,109
But our dragon-style will defeat it.
388
00:19:12,192 --> 00:19:13,944
-Guys!
-The Shaolin masters
389
00:19:14,027 --> 00:19:15,696
from East and West must unite,
390
00:19:15,779 --> 00:19:17,656
fight, and find out who is number one.
391
00:19:17,739 --> 00:19:20,242
Guys! Come on.
You're ruining my moment here.
392
00:19:20,868 --> 00:19:23,370
I mean, this is our very manhood at stake.
393
00:19:23,453 --> 00:19:25,831
We must make a stand here and now.
394
00:19:27,082 --> 00:19:30,627
No longer will our penises
remain flaccid and unused!
395
00:19:30,752 --> 00:19:34,840
We will fight for every man out there
who isn't getting laid and should be.
396
00:19:34,923 --> 00:19:38,260
This is our day. This is our time.
397
00:19:38,552 --> 00:19:40,387
And, by God, we will not stand by
398
00:19:40,470 --> 00:19:42,931
and watch history
condemn us into celibacy.
399
00:19:43,015 --> 00:19:44,391
-Amen. Yes.
-I like that.
400
00:19:44,474 --> 00:19:48,645
-We will make a stand. We will succeed.
-About time!
401
00:19:48,729 --> 00:19:50,606
We will get laid!
402
00:19:50,689 --> 00:19:52,149
[all] Yeah! [cheering]
403
00:19:53,734 --> 00:19:56,987
Now, the sex.
It's got to be valid, consensual sex.
404
00:19:57,070 --> 00:19:58,614
No prostitutes.
405
00:19:58,697 --> 00:20:00,324
That's what you're thinking, Finch.
406
00:20:00,407 --> 00:20:01,909
[laughs] Busted.
407
00:20:02,659 --> 00:20:05,412
So, basically, prom is our last chance.
408
00:20:05,495 --> 00:20:07,956
-Oh, dude. Prom sucks.
-[Kevin] I know,
409
00:20:08,040 --> 00:20:10,042
but you gotta think about it this way.
410
00:20:10,125 --> 00:20:11,668
I mean, all the parties afterwards?
411
00:20:11,752 --> 00:20:13,378
The chicks are going to want to do it.
412
00:20:13,462 --> 00:20:16,965
Yeah, yeah, he's right.
It's, like, tradition or something.
413
00:20:17,049 --> 00:20:18,383
The Rose Bowl.
414
00:20:18,467 --> 00:20:20,093
So that gives us--
415
00:20:20,177 --> 00:20:22,262
Exactly three weeks to the day.
416
00:20:24,389 --> 00:20:26,892
-We're gonna do this.
-All right, to the next step!
417
00:20:26,975 --> 00:20:28,602
-Next step!
-Next step!
418
00:20:28,685 --> 00:20:30,312
[all whooping]
419
00:21:06,139 --> 00:21:07,933
[inaudible]
420
00:21:17,943 --> 00:21:20,612
Well, did you get the flowers?
421
00:21:49,349 --> 00:21:51,351
Don't worry.
You'll get her back soon enough.
422
00:21:51,435 --> 00:21:53,520
-You think so?
-Sure, she likes you.
423
00:21:53,603 --> 00:21:55,188
Well, I like her too.
424
00:21:55,272 --> 00:21:56,565
Do you love her?
425
00:21:57,107 --> 00:22:00,068
You know what?
You can't really ask me that.
426
00:22:00,152 --> 00:22:03,155
Well, if you want to get her in the sack,
I mean, just tell her you love her.
427
00:22:03,238 --> 00:22:04,698
That's how I was duped.
428
00:22:04,990 --> 00:22:06,241
Look, Jessica,
429
00:22:06,325 --> 00:22:07,743
I don't want to dupe her.
430
00:22:09,911 --> 00:22:13,999
All right. What you need to do is learn
how to press a girl's buttons.
431
00:22:14,249 --> 00:22:15,959
You have to give her what she's never had.
432
00:22:16,043 --> 00:22:17,586
What's that?
433
00:22:17,669 --> 00:22:19,004
Let me give you a hint.
434
00:22:20,047 --> 00:22:23,592
Oh, Kev! Oh! Yeah.
435
00:22:24,259 --> 00:22:26,803
-Comprende?
-You mean an orgasm.
436
00:22:27,054 --> 00:22:29,306
-You got it, stud!
-Well, you know,
437
00:22:29,389 --> 00:22:31,600
I'm... I'm pretty sure
that I've given her a--
438
00:22:31,683 --> 00:22:33,226
No, you haven't.
439
00:22:33,310 --> 00:22:36,271
-Well, there was one time--
-No.
440
00:22:37,606 --> 00:22:38,607
Oh, man.
441
00:22:38,690 --> 00:22:40,067
Look, kid, it's up to you.
442
00:22:40,150 --> 00:22:42,736
The big L or the big O.
443
00:22:43,320 --> 00:22:46,573
Dickhead! You gotta see this.
444
00:22:46,782 --> 00:22:48,950
[all singing a cappella music]
445
00:22:59,211 --> 00:23:01,296
What did you cocks do to him?
446
00:23:08,929 --> 00:23:10,972
Great. See you next time.
447
00:23:15,727 --> 00:23:18,605
-Hey, guys. Came to watch me in action?
-Yeah.
448
00:23:18,939 --> 00:23:21,566
-I think you sounded pretty good.
-Yeah, man.
449
00:23:21,650 --> 00:23:23,485
I think you need your balls reattached.
450
00:23:23,568 --> 00:23:25,112
Hey, keep it down, dude.
451
00:23:25,195 --> 00:23:26,822
What the fuck are you doing here?
452
00:23:26,905 --> 00:23:29,241
This place is an untapped resource.
453
00:23:29,324 --> 00:23:30,659
I mean, check it out.
454
00:23:30,909 --> 00:23:33,120
These vocal jazz girls are hot.
455
00:23:33,203 --> 00:23:35,455
Why the hell is he
joining jazz choir so late?
456
00:23:36,123 --> 00:23:39,417
Maybe he's preparing for
another senior year at East?
457
00:23:39,918 --> 00:23:41,837
You guys, we don't even know him.
458
00:23:45,465 --> 00:23:47,467
You dipshit!
459
00:23:47,717 --> 00:23:51,596
You're expecting to score with some
goody-goody choir-girl priss?
460
00:23:51,680 --> 00:23:53,348
These chicks don't know me.
461
00:23:53,431 --> 00:23:56,184
I mean, I can work
the sensitive angle here, fellows!
462
00:23:56,268 --> 00:23:58,436
You know, it's just like
that college chick told me.
463
00:23:58,520 --> 00:24:01,481
All that you gotta do
is just ask them questions
464
00:24:01,565 --> 00:24:03,567
and listen to what
they have to say and shit.
465
00:24:04,192 --> 00:24:07,445
I don't know, man.
That sounds like a lot of work!
466
00:24:10,031 --> 00:24:11,366
[knocking at door]
467
00:24:11,449 --> 00:24:12,993
Just a second!
468
00:24:18,206 --> 00:24:19,499
Come in. Come in.
469
00:24:20,667 --> 00:24:21,918
Oh, Jim, you're here.
470
00:24:22,502 --> 00:24:26,339
Uh, I was just walking by your room and...
471
00:24:26,423 --> 00:24:28,508
And, you know, I was thinking,
472
00:24:28,592 --> 00:24:32,971
"Boy, it's been a long time
since we've had a little father-son chat."
473
00:24:34,347 --> 00:24:38,685
Oh! I almost forgot.
I, uh... I bought some magazines.
474
00:24:39,436 --> 00:24:41,688
Do you want to just flip
to the center section?
475
00:24:43,940 --> 00:24:46,610
{\an8}Well, this is the...
This is the female form.
476
00:24:46,693 --> 00:24:49,446
And they have focused on the breasts,
477
00:24:49,696 --> 00:24:54,451
which are used primarily
to feed young infants
478
00:24:54,534 --> 00:24:57,746
and also in foreplay.
479
00:24:57,829 --> 00:24:58,830
Right.
480
00:24:58,914 --> 00:25:02,375
This is... This is Hustler.
481
00:25:02,709 --> 00:25:06,379
And this is a much more exotic magazine.
482
00:25:06,463 --> 00:25:11,343
Now, they have decided
to focus more on the pubic region.
483
00:25:11,426 --> 00:25:14,512
-Right. Uh-huh.
-Uh, the whole groin area.
484
00:25:15,055 --> 00:25:17,057
{\an8}Look at the expression on her face.
485
00:25:17,599 --> 00:25:19,142
{\an8}You see that? See what's she's doing?
486
00:25:19,226 --> 00:25:21,645
She's kind of looking
right into your eyes saying,
487
00:25:22,646 --> 00:25:25,982
"Hey, big boy. Hey, how you doing?"
488
00:25:26,441 --> 00:25:27,776
-You see?
-Right.
489
00:25:30,654 --> 00:25:34,157
Shaved is a magazine
I'm not too familiar with,
490
00:25:34,241 --> 00:25:36,993
but, again, if you flip to the center...
491
00:25:37,077 --> 00:25:37,911
[sighs]
492
00:25:38,828 --> 00:25:40,121
{\an8}section...
493
00:25:40,956 --> 00:25:44,751
{\an8}Well, you see the detail
that they go into in this picture here?
494
00:25:44,834 --> 00:25:46,002
{\an8}Mmm-hmm. Yeah.
495
00:25:46,086 --> 00:25:48,964
{\an8}It almost looks like a tropical plant
496
00:25:49,047 --> 00:25:51,049
{\an8}-or some underwater thing.
-Yeah. Yes.
497
00:25:51,132 --> 00:25:53,176
{\an8}-Do you know what a clitoris is?
-Oh, my God.
498
00:25:53,260 --> 00:25:55,178
-Well, don't say, "Oh..."
-Yes, I know what a clitoris is.
499
00:25:55,262 --> 00:25:56,680
Oh, you do. Oh, I see. Yes, you do.
500
00:25:56,763 --> 00:25:58,556
I forgot, you've been there and back.
You know everything.
501
00:25:58,640 --> 00:25:59,891
I've learned about it in Sex Ed.
502
00:25:59,975 --> 00:26:01,434
I really don't need you
to sit here and talk to me about clitoris.
503
00:26:01,518 --> 00:26:02,644
I'm trying to make this painless
as I can, Jim. This is not...
504
00:26:02,727 --> 00:26:04,896
You know what? I'm sorry. Okay? I'm sorry.
505
00:26:04,980 --> 00:26:05,981
No, no, no.
506
00:26:06,064 --> 00:26:08,692
-I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
-I'm sorry.
507
00:26:09,401 --> 00:26:10,777
I shouldn't have got hot there.
508
00:26:10,860 --> 00:26:12,988
Well, you know what I'm going to do, Jim?
509
00:26:13,071 --> 00:26:15,448
I'm going to just leave these books here
510
00:26:15,532 --> 00:26:19,411
for you to peruse at your...
At your leisure.
511
00:26:19,953 --> 00:26:21,538
Wait! [sighs]
512
00:26:27,168 --> 00:26:29,045
Well, safer than a tube sock.
513
00:26:31,506 --> 00:26:34,009
-Okay, that... That was good.
-Yeah.
514
00:26:37,012 --> 00:26:38,221
See you at dinner.
515
00:26:38,805 --> 00:26:40,515
Yeah. I'll see you at dinner.
516
00:26:41,349 --> 00:26:43,476
So, Finch, this is your plan?
517
00:26:43,560 --> 00:26:46,688
You know, I don't think girls
are into the whole mini-golf thing.
518
00:26:46,771 --> 00:26:48,648
Kevin, I'm sure that they're not.
519
00:26:49,107 --> 00:26:50,984
Actually, there is one small matter
520
00:26:51,067 --> 00:26:52,694
that I need to ask
for your cooperation in.
521
00:26:52,861 --> 00:26:54,446
In the spirit of this whole pact,
you know?
522
00:26:54,529 --> 00:26:55,530
Sure, what do you need?
523
00:26:55,613 --> 00:26:57,365
Whatever you hear about me, you agree.
524
00:26:57,449 --> 00:26:59,117
And tell all the boys the same thing.
525
00:26:59,534 --> 00:27:02,203
Look, I gotta go.
Sixteen minutes round-trip.
526
00:27:03,246 --> 00:27:05,707
You know, Finch, it's... It's senior year.
527
00:27:05,790 --> 00:27:08,585
I mean, don't you think it's time
you learned how to take a dump at school?
528
00:27:08,918 --> 00:27:11,755
When was the last time you looked
at the facilities in this school?
529
00:27:15,425 --> 00:27:17,052
-[whispering]
-No! No.
530
00:27:19,387 --> 00:27:20,388
Excuse me.
531
00:27:21,514 --> 00:27:22,891
That's Paul Finch, right?
532
00:27:23,099 --> 00:27:24,351
Yeah.
533
00:27:24,434 --> 00:27:26,311
Well, you've seen him
in the locker room, right?
534
00:27:27,187 --> 00:27:28,480
Yeah.
535
00:27:28,563 --> 00:27:31,691
So, my friends, they want to know.
Is it true?
536
00:27:31,858 --> 00:27:34,361
You know, that he's equipped.
537
00:27:34,819 --> 00:27:37,447
I have no idea.
Finch showers with his bathing suit on.
538
00:27:38,114 --> 00:27:39,115
I mean...
539
00:27:40,742 --> 00:27:43,870
As a matter of fact, it is true.
The guy's huge!
540
00:27:44,412 --> 00:27:45,914
Does he have a date for the prom yet?
541
00:27:45,997 --> 00:27:47,457
No, definitely not.
542
00:27:47,832 --> 00:27:49,125
All right. Thanks.
543
00:27:51,211 --> 00:27:52,504
Oh, man!
544
00:27:53,713 --> 00:27:56,007
So I was thinking maybe, you know,
545
00:27:56,091 --> 00:27:58,593
you could give me some advice,
brother to brother.
546
00:27:58,676 --> 00:28:01,763
[Kevin] I thought you might knowa trick or something to make her...
547
00:28:02,097 --> 00:28:04,307
-Orgasm?
-Yeah.
548
00:28:04,974 --> 00:28:06,393
What's good here?
549
00:28:06,476 --> 00:28:08,561
-Try the spicy tuna hand roll.
-What?
550
00:28:08,645 --> 00:28:10,480
-How do you do that?
-Hey, never mind that.
551
00:28:10,563 --> 00:28:11,981
Listen, pay attention.
552
00:28:12,065 --> 00:28:15,026
Is that all that you're interested in,
trying to get your girl into bed?
553
00:28:15,110 --> 00:28:18,655
No, it'd be good to be able
to, you know, return the favor.
554
00:28:18,738 --> 00:28:21,449
Be nice to know that she enjoys thingsas much as I do.
555
00:28:21,533 --> 00:28:22,742
See, that... That's good.
556
00:28:22,826 --> 00:28:24,702
That's what I wanted to hear.
Now, you qualify.
557
00:28:24,953 --> 00:28:26,162
Qualify for what?
558
00:28:26,246 --> 00:28:28,164
My man, you've just inherited the Bible.
559
00:28:31,751 --> 00:28:33,795
It originally started as a sex manual,
560
00:28:34,295 --> 00:28:36,673
this book that some guysbrought back from Amsterdam.
561
00:28:37,048 --> 00:28:40,009
And each year it got passed onto one East student who was worthy.
562
00:28:40,510 --> 00:28:43,596
Now, it's full of all sorts of stuffthat guys have added over the years.
563
00:28:46,933 --> 00:28:50,228
But you have to keep it a secretand return it at the end of the year.
564
00:28:51,271 --> 00:28:54,149
All right. So now you know. Good luck.
565
00:29:04,617 --> 00:29:06,578
[all singing a cappella music]
566
00:29:25,680 --> 00:29:27,766
[scatting]
567
00:29:33,062 --> 00:29:34,606
What was that?
568
00:29:36,107 --> 00:29:37,901
-Sorry.
-No, it was good.
569
00:29:40,570 --> 00:29:43,823
Well, it, uh... It came from the heart.
570
00:29:43,907 --> 00:29:45,366
[teacher] Well, keep it coming.
571
00:29:45,867 --> 00:29:47,494
All right, people, good work!
572
00:29:47,577 --> 00:29:48,912
Now, don't forget.
573
00:29:48,995 --> 00:29:50,747
The state competition's
a couple of weeks away,
574
00:29:50,830 --> 00:29:52,832
so keep on it, okay?
575
00:30:04,093 --> 00:30:05,637
[Heather] Not bad, Chris.
576
00:30:06,805 --> 00:30:08,056
Really?
577
00:30:09,933 --> 00:30:13,102
-Thanks... Heather, right?
-Yeah.
578
00:30:13,770 --> 00:30:16,773
So you've got this sort of
Frank Sinatra thing going on there.
579
00:30:17,065 --> 00:30:21,236
Right. I feel like I've discovered
this whole new side of me.
580
00:30:21,319 --> 00:30:23,988
I mean, music is so expressive.
581
00:30:24,989 --> 00:30:27,575
Okay. I mean, I agree,
582
00:30:27,659 --> 00:30:30,703
but aren't you supposed to be out,
like, trying to decapitate someone
583
00:30:30,787 --> 00:30:32,372
with your lacrosse stick or something?
584
00:30:32,455 --> 00:30:34,833
Oh, sure. Sure.
585
00:30:35,083 --> 00:30:36,459
You know, I know what people think.
586
00:30:36,543 --> 00:30:40,046
It's like, "Oz, he's just this
kick-ass lacrosse player."
587
00:30:40,129 --> 00:30:42,924
You know, I also play football,
by the way, but that's, like...
588
00:30:43,007 --> 00:30:44,676
That's not all that I am, you know?
589
00:30:44,759 --> 00:30:46,261
Of course, I didn't--
590
00:30:46,344 --> 00:30:49,764
I mean, it really bothers me when people
try to pigeonhole me like that.
591
00:30:51,015 --> 00:30:52,141
You?
592
00:30:53,309 --> 00:30:55,311
You think I don't get that?
593
00:30:55,395 --> 00:30:58,940
God, it's like just because I don't get
drunk and barf every weekend
594
00:30:59,023 --> 00:31:01,025
that people say, "Oh, look.
595
00:31:01,109 --> 00:31:04,028
There's this goody two-shoes
choir-girl priss."
596
00:31:04,112 --> 00:31:07,448
Yeah. So, like, what else do you do?
597
00:31:08,324 --> 00:31:11,494
Well, the same things you do,
598
00:31:11,578 --> 00:31:14,080
like hang out with friends and stuff.
599
00:31:14,163 --> 00:31:15,248
Why? What do you think I do?
600
00:31:15,331 --> 00:31:16,583
Oh, I...
601
00:31:16,666 --> 00:31:19,669
I just realized that I don't know
anything about you.
602
00:31:19,752 --> 00:31:21,087
I was interested.
603
00:31:21,170 --> 00:31:24,716
Oh, well, what do you want to know?
604
00:31:24,799 --> 00:31:27,760
You know, stuff, about you.
605
00:31:30,513 --> 00:31:31,890
All right.
606
00:31:34,475 --> 00:31:36,811
Mom, I'm home!
607
00:32:25,985 --> 00:32:26,819
Hello!
608
00:32:26,903 --> 00:32:27,737
Long day!
609
00:32:29,572 --> 00:32:30,865
[moaning]
610
00:32:34,410 --> 00:32:36,704
Oh, yeah. Oh!
611
00:32:36,788 --> 00:32:37,914
[exclaims]
612
00:32:41,668 --> 00:32:44,128
-Jim!
-It's not what it looks like.
613
00:32:50,343 --> 00:32:54,389
Well, we'll just tell your mother
that we ate it all.
614
00:33:27,296 --> 00:33:28,548
[grunting]
615
00:33:33,553 --> 00:33:35,263
-[whistle blowing]
-[people cheering]
616
00:33:35,346 --> 00:33:37,265
[announcer] Goal by number eight,Chris Ostreicher.
617
00:33:41,352 --> 00:33:43,813
-Nice game.
-Nice game. Good game.
618
00:33:47,275 --> 00:33:50,028
Hey, what are you doing here?
619
00:33:50,111 --> 00:33:53,656
Just enjoying my first
exhilarating lacrosse experience.
620
00:33:53,740 --> 00:33:56,200
-You kicked butt.
-Oh, thanks.
621
00:33:56,993 --> 00:33:59,370
-Chris--
-Oh, you can call me Oz, if you want.
622
00:33:59,746 --> 00:34:01,664
-Do I have to?
-You can call me Ostreicher.
623
00:34:01,748 --> 00:34:02,915
What's your middle name?
624
00:34:02,999 --> 00:34:04,167
No, forget it.
625
00:34:04,250 --> 00:34:05,668
Come on. I won't tell anyone.
626
00:34:05,752 --> 00:34:07,336
Well, neither will I.
627
00:34:08,337 --> 00:34:09,505
Okay.
628
00:34:11,215 --> 00:34:15,011
So I had this thought,
629
00:34:15,094 --> 00:34:17,346
and it may seem like
it's way out of left field.
630
00:34:17,430 --> 00:34:18,806
I don't know if you can,
631
00:34:18,890 --> 00:34:22,310
but, since I'm not going with anybody,
I thought that maybe--
632
00:34:22,393 --> 00:34:24,270
Those guys sucked ass!
633
00:34:24,979 --> 00:34:27,190
Choir chick,
what the hell are you doing here?
634
00:34:27,899 --> 00:34:31,986
Well, I was asking Chris to prom.
635
00:34:32,236 --> 00:34:33,446
So do you want to go?
636
00:34:34,030 --> 00:34:37,408
Oh, yeah! That would be great.
637
00:34:38,367 --> 00:34:40,870
Well, just don't expect Oz
to pay for the limo!
638
00:34:40,953 --> 00:34:44,082
Stifler, fuck! I mean...
639
00:34:44,999 --> 00:34:47,418
Why do you got to be
so insensitive all the time?
640
00:34:49,170 --> 00:34:50,296
What?
641
00:34:52,048 --> 00:34:55,343
Whatever. Look, don't forget.
My cottage after prom.
642
00:34:55,426 --> 00:34:57,095
On Lake Michigan.
643
00:34:58,971 --> 00:35:01,349
Hey, wait up, you pussies.
Where you going?
644
00:35:01,432 --> 00:35:02,266
Uh...
645
00:35:03,059 --> 00:35:05,645
Well, I gotta...
I gotta hit the showers now,
646
00:35:05,728 --> 00:35:09,315
but I think this is gonna be
really, really good.
647
00:35:09,398 --> 00:35:11,275
Yeah. Me too.
648
00:35:11,901 --> 00:35:12,985
All right.
649
00:35:13,069 --> 00:35:15,238
-Bye. Bye.
-Bye.
650
00:35:21,244 --> 00:35:25,164
'Appening Oz!
Working with the choir chick?
651
00:35:25,248 --> 00:35:28,668
What can I say, fellows? I just dig
those cute little sweaters she wears.
652
00:35:29,585 --> 00:35:32,588
[Stifler] Nuts you do,
you little horn dog. Huh? Huh?
653
00:35:32,922 --> 00:35:35,716
Yeah! Yeah, baby!
654
00:35:36,134 --> 00:35:39,971
Spank me! Spank me! Hit that high C.
655
00:35:40,054 --> 00:35:41,764
[singing]
656
00:35:42,140 --> 00:35:43,683
[all laughing]
657
00:35:46,018 --> 00:35:47,728
Come on! What's going on here?
658
00:35:52,400 --> 00:35:55,319
I was being selfish
and majorly insensitive.
659
00:35:55,403 --> 00:35:58,156
I'm a... I'm a total idiot.
I mean, a fool, a buffoon.
660
00:35:58,239 --> 00:36:00,533
I think "shithead" really says it.
661
00:36:00,616 --> 00:36:02,493
You know what? You're right.
I'm a shithead,
662
00:36:03,494 --> 00:36:05,371
and I want to make it up to you.
663
00:36:05,454 --> 00:36:07,498
Oh, yeah? How?
664
00:36:08,374 --> 00:36:09,834
[gasping]
665
00:36:11,961 --> 00:36:14,463
[shushing] Vicky.
Your parents are downstairs.
666
00:36:14,547 --> 00:36:15,965
Kevin, don't stop!
667
00:36:16,048 --> 00:36:17,341
Just a second.
668
00:36:26,475 --> 00:36:28,019
[moaning]
669
00:36:28,769 --> 00:36:31,981
Hon, can you tell Vic
to come on down for supper?
670
00:36:32,899 --> 00:36:34,442
Holy shit!
671
00:36:34,525 --> 00:36:37,820
[shushing] You know there's
no lock on your door?
672
00:36:38,779 --> 00:36:39,780
[humming]
673
00:36:45,286 --> 00:36:47,371
Oh! I'm coming! I'm coming!
674
00:36:51,667 --> 00:36:53,377
-Oh, Jim!
-Dad.
675
00:36:53,461 --> 00:36:56,964
Hi, I was just looking
at the old family portrait out here.
676
00:36:57,757 --> 00:36:59,842
Well, that was a fun day, wasn't it?
677
00:36:59,926 --> 00:37:01,552
Oh, yeah. Yeah.
678
00:37:02,887 --> 00:37:05,181
Jim, I want to talk about masturbation.
679
00:37:06,224 --> 00:37:11,020
Now, I just want you to know
that it's a perfectly normal thing.
680
00:37:11,229 --> 00:37:13,105
And I have to admit, you know,
681
00:37:13,189 --> 00:37:17,944
I did a fair bit of masturbating
when I was a little younger.
682
00:37:18,027 --> 00:37:21,155
I used to call it "stroking the salami."
683
00:37:21,572 --> 00:37:23,699
Yeah, you know, "pounding the ol' pud."
684
00:37:25,201 --> 00:37:26,786
I never did it with baked goods.
685
00:37:27,995 --> 00:37:29,455
But you know your Uncle Mort?
686
00:37:29,538 --> 00:37:31,958
He "pinched the one-eyed snake"
five, six times a day.
687
00:37:32,041 --> 00:37:35,670
See, it's like, practice for the big game.
688
00:37:36,295 --> 00:37:39,006
You see? It's like... It's like
689
00:37:39,674 --> 00:37:42,385
banging a tennis ball
against a brick wall,
690
00:37:42,885 --> 00:37:44,053
which can be fun.
691
00:37:44,887 --> 00:37:46,847
It can be fun, but it's not a game.
692
00:37:46,931 --> 00:37:48,975
-Right. No.
-It's not a game.
693
00:37:49,392 --> 00:37:52,770
What you want is you want a partner
to return the ball.
694
00:37:52,979 --> 00:37:54,438
Do you want a partner?
695
00:37:54,939 --> 00:37:56,524
Yeah. Yeah, yeah, I want a partner.
696
00:37:56,774 --> 00:37:58,567
-You do want a partner?
-Oh, I want a partner.
697
00:37:58,651 --> 00:38:01,570
-You want a partner. Good. Good.
-Of course. Yeah.
698
00:38:03,072 --> 00:38:04,365
[Jim's dad] Good.
699
00:38:05,491 --> 00:38:08,661
[lecturer] So, once Hal
becomes king, he has to take on
700
00:38:08,744 --> 00:38:11,539
the responsibilities of leadership
and turn his back
701
00:38:11,622 --> 00:38:14,041
on his old, drunken friend, Falstaff.
702
00:38:14,292 --> 00:38:18,212
You see, Hal is going through
a rite of passage, much like you all are.
703
00:38:18,546 --> 00:38:20,506
So make most of the time
you've got left together.
704
00:38:20,840 --> 00:38:22,008
You'll miss it later.
705
00:38:23,426 --> 00:38:25,094
So does your tongue cramp up?
706
00:38:25,720 --> 00:38:28,014
No. You get kind of dizzy, though.
707
00:38:28,723 --> 00:38:30,391
Wow. That's amazing.
708
00:38:31,058 --> 00:38:32,768
She's probably gonna want to do it soon.
709
00:38:34,812 --> 00:38:36,188
[bell ringing]
710
00:38:36,480 --> 00:38:38,149
All right. Class dismissed.
711
00:38:41,444 --> 00:38:44,530
Still questing after the Holy Grail,
huh, guys?
712
00:38:49,577 --> 00:38:51,329
Hey, where's Finch?
713
00:38:51,412 --> 00:38:52,997
Oh, he went home to take a shit.
714
00:38:53,956 --> 00:38:55,333
I don't get it. I just don't.
715
00:38:55,416 --> 00:38:58,169
How does a guy like that
get this sudden reputation?
716
00:38:58,252 --> 00:38:59,670
What reputation?
717
00:39:00,129 --> 00:39:01,714
Observe.
718
00:39:02,131 --> 00:39:06,052
Excuse me. Do you know who Paul Finch is?
719
00:39:06,218 --> 00:39:08,554
Yeah! He's the guy with the tattoo, right?
720
00:39:09,972 --> 00:39:13,351
You know, the eagle
and the blazing fire and all that stuff.
721
00:39:14,602 --> 00:39:18,731
Well, if you guys see him later,
will you tell him Courtney says hi?
722
00:39:19,106 --> 00:39:20,232
Bye.
723
00:39:22,860 --> 00:39:25,071
Okay. Explain.
724
00:39:25,404 --> 00:39:26,530
I can't.
725
00:39:26,614 --> 00:39:28,115
I don't know how he's doing it.
726
00:39:29,492 --> 00:39:32,203
I guess that just leaves Jim trailing.
727
00:39:32,286 --> 00:39:34,580
-Jimbo! [chuckles]
-Better sack up, buddy!
728
00:39:34,663 --> 00:39:36,749
Yeah, I know.
I'm working on it, all right?
729
00:39:36,832 --> 00:39:38,084
James?
730
00:39:38,167 --> 00:39:40,795
You are very good
in the world history class, yes?
731
00:39:41,504 --> 00:39:43,506
[stammering] Me? Yes. No...
732
00:39:44,423 --> 00:39:45,591
Yes, I am.
733
00:39:45,674 --> 00:39:48,302
Perhaps you could help me with my studies.
734
00:39:49,136 --> 00:39:50,429
Uh, yeah. Absolutely.
735
00:39:50,513 --> 00:39:52,473
[stammering] That would be...
That would be great sometime.
736
00:39:52,556 --> 00:39:54,100
How about tomorrow?
737
00:39:54,308 --> 00:39:56,519
Well, I have ballet practice.
738
00:39:57,395 --> 00:40:00,564
Perhaps, I could come
by your house afterwards?
739
00:40:00,731 --> 00:40:02,817
I could change clothes at your place.
740
00:40:05,611 --> 00:40:08,280
Uh... Yeah.
741
00:40:08,364 --> 00:40:10,991
[stammering] I suppose
that would be okay. Sure.
742
00:40:20,334 --> 00:40:21,627
Nice car!
743
00:40:22,711 --> 00:40:23,879
I'm glad you think so.
744
00:40:24,171 --> 00:40:25,381
You don't like it?
745
00:40:25,464 --> 00:40:28,634
No, I like the car.
By the way, though, about prom?
746
00:40:28,884 --> 00:40:31,762
That was a bad idea.
I'm sorry I invited you.
747
00:40:32,012 --> 00:40:33,389
What are you talking about?
748
00:40:33,472 --> 00:40:34,598
Please.
749
00:40:35,099 --> 00:40:38,477
I asked you because I thought
you might actually be worth going with.
750
00:40:38,727 --> 00:40:41,772
But you are just a jock.
No, wait. You're a jerk.
751
00:40:42,982 --> 00:40:44,984
Wait! I don't understand.
752
00:40:45,651 --> 00:40:48,404
I saw you making fun of me
with your lacrosse buddies.
753
00:40:49,238 --> 00:40:50,781
Heather, I wasn't making fun of you.
754
00:40:50,865 --> 00:40:52,575
Give me a break. You're so full of it.
755
00:40:56,745 --> 00:40:58,122
Fuck me!
756
00:40:58,247 --> 00:41:01,917
There's gonna be an Eastern European
chick naked in your house.
757
00:41:02,168 --> 00:41:04,003
And you're not gonna
do anything about that?
758
00:41:04,086 --> 00:41:07,631
What am I gonna do, huh?
Broadcast her over the Internet?
759
00:41:08,507 --> 00:41:11,343
-Yeah.
-You can do that?
760
00:41:15,723 --> 00:41:18,726
[scoffs] No. I cannot do that to her.
761
00:41:19,477 --> 00:41:22,313
Jim, get some fucking balls.
762
00:41:22,730 --> 00:41:25,316
Man, If you don't have the guts
to photograph a naked chick in your house,
763
00:41:25,399 --> 00:41:27,610
how the hell are you gonna sleep with one?
764
00:41:27,693 --> 00:41:30,321
I don't like the kid,
but he's got a point, Jim.
765
00:41:30,404 --> 00:41:33,282
See, even shit-brick
knows you should do it.
766
00:41:33,741 --> 00:41:37,453
Now, all you gotta do is set up some sort
of private link or whatever on the Net
767
00:41:37,536 --> 00:41:38,746
and tell me the address.
768
00:41:39,497 --> 00:41:41,081
You can send me the address too.
769
00:41:42,208 --> 00:41:43,375
I'll save you a seat.
770
00:41:45,961 --> 00:41:48,297
[all singing a cappella music]
771
00:42:05,940 --> 00:42:09,401
Okay, that was good,
but I want to thicken up that solo.
772
00:42:09,485 --> 00:42:12,988
Michigan State is this Saturday,
and I want that part to smoke.
773
00:42:13,072 --> 00:42:14,573
Yeah, I know. My timing's off.
774
00:42:14,657 --> 00:42:16,825
No, it's not that. It's just
that I think it'll work better
775
00:42:16,909 --> 00:42:18,577
as a duet with a tenor part.
776
00:42:18,661 --> 00:42:20,079
I'll do it.
777
00:42:22,122 --> 00:42:23,207
[whispers] Dick.
778
00:42:23,916 --> 00:42:26,752
-I'll do it.
-Great. See you tomorrow.
779
00:42:33,717 --> 00:42:35,219
Why are you doing this?
780
00:42:35,719 --> 00:42:36,887
'Cause I want to.
781
00:42:36,971 --> 00:42:41,392
Yeah? Well, you can't fake this.
You better practice.
782
00:42:54,113 --> 00:42:55,114
[knocking at door]
783
00:42:55,197 --> 00:42:56,490
[Jim] Come in.
784
00:42:57,616 --> 00:43:01,787
Jim? There's a young lady here to see you.
785
00:43:02,413 --> 00:43:04,623
-Hey, Nadia.
-Hi, James. Ready to study?
786
00:43:04,707 --> 00:43:07,293
Oh, he's always ready to study.
He's a real bookworm, this kid.
787
00:43:07,376 --> 00:43:08,627
-Dad.
-I mean,
788
00:43:08,711 --> 00:43:10,713
he's not one of those nerdy guys, but--
789
00:43:10,796 --> 00:43:12,131
Dad!
790
00:43:12,214 --> 00:43:15,551
Well, I'll... I'll let you two
hit the books.
791
00:43:20,014 --> 00:43:21,181
You want a beer?
792
00:43:23,058 --> 00:43:24,184
Oh, there we go.
793
00:43:24,643 --> 00:43:26,020
[boy] Come on, move!
794
00:43:27,229 --> 00:43:31,609
Steve! It's my computer!
And I wanna use it!
795
00:43:31,692 --> 00:43:33,027
Shut up!
796
00:43:33,235 --> 00:43:36,405
[stammering] Oh, you need to...
You need to change, right?
797
00:43:36,488 --> 00:43:39,074
-Hmm. Do you mind?
-No. No, not at all.
798
00:43:39,158 --> 00:43:42,411
Please, you know.
Just go ahead and get... Get changed.
799
00:43:42,494 --> 00:43:45,748
[clears throat] I'll... I'll go downstairs
and start studying up.
800
00:43:45,873 --> 00:43:46,915
-[laughing nervously]
-Okay.
801
00:43:46,999 --> 00:43:48,167
Yeah.
802
00:43:48,334 --> 00:43:50,628
-All right, there he goes.
-[Finch] Ah!
803
00:43:50,794 --> 00:43:52,087
Now, we're in business.
804
00:43:55,090 --> 00:43:57,009
-Back in a sec.
-Jimmy, honey, where--
805
00:44:20,699 --> 00:44:22,117
[Kevin] Ah, here she is.
806
00:44:23,661 --> 00:44:25,162
Did I miss anything?
807
00:44:25,245 --> 00:44:27,373
No. You are just in time.
808
00:44:27,456 --> 00:44:29,875
-[boys] Oh. Oh!
-[Kevin] This is incredible.
809
00:44:31,126 --> 00:44:33,545
Oh, my God! This is too much.
810
00:44:33,629 --> 00:44:36,632
[Finch] Oh, did you see?
Oh, there that goes. Oh, geez.
811
00:44:37,424 --> 00:44:38,926
God bless the Internet.
812
00:44:39,593 --> 00:44:40,928
[Jim exclaiming]
813
00:44:41,387 --> 00:44:43,514
-[Finch] Do it. Take it off.
-[Jim] Oh, my God.
814
00:44:43,597 --> 00:44:45,057
[all] Oh!
815
00:44:45,140 --> 00:44:47,643
Oh, thank you, God,
for this wonderful, wonderful day.
816
00:44:47,726 --> 00:44:49,728
[Finch] Man, she takes her vitamins.
817
00:44:54,942 --> 00:44:56,568
Stop hyperventilating.
818
00:45:01,448 --> 00:45:05,035
This is, like, the coolest thing
I've ever seen.
819
00:45:05,994 --> 00:45:07,246
I know.
820
00:45:09,248 --> 00:45:11,959
Can you believe... This is definitely
one of Stifler's best ideas ever.
821
00:45:14,002 --> 00:45:15,504
What is she... She's touching my stuff.
822
00:45:15,587 --> 00:45:18,215
-Why is she touching my stuff?
-[Finch] Man, let her touch.
823
00:45:18,298 --> 00:45:19,633
She's going through my stuff!
824
00:45:19,716 --> 00:45:21,552
[Finch] Nadia can touch
anything she wants.
825
00:45:28,725 --> 00:45:30,978
-[Finch] Oh.
-[Jim] Oh, no. Oh, no.
826
00:45:31,061 --> 00:45:33,689
-No, no.
-Oh, nice collection there, Jim.
827
00:45:33,772 --> 00:45:35,649
She's gonna leave.
She's definitely gonna--
828
00:45:36,817 --> 00:45:39,194
She's getting comfortable.
She's not gonna leave.
829
00:45:39,278 --> 00:45:41,196
[Finch] She reads the articles.
830
00:45:49,121 --> 00:45:50,831
[boys exclaiming]
831
00:45:54,793 --> 00:45:56,003
Is she...
832
00:45:57,588 --> 00:45:59,173
She's going downstairs.
833
00:45:59,256 --> 00:46:00,382
[moaning]
834
00:46:04,720 --> 00:46:06,722
Oh, my God!
835
00:46:07,181 --> 00:46:08,557
Jackpot, baby!
836
00:46:08,765 --> 00:46:09,892
[Jim] Can you believe this?
837
00:46:09,975 --> 00:46:11,560
I have an announcement
that I would like to make.
838
00:46:11,643 --> 00:46:16,732
There is a gorgeous woman
masturbating on my bed!
839
00:46:16,899 --> 00:46:18,400
-[Finch] Thank you, Nadia!
-[Kevin] You know,
840
00:46:18,484 --> 00:46:22,237
if you ever had a chance
with Nadia, this is it.
841
00:46:23,447 --> 00:46:24,740
What am I supposed to do, Kev?
842
00:46:25,324 --> 00:46:26,492
Seduce her.
843
00:46:28,702 --> 00:46:29,995
What the hell would I say?
844
00:46:30,454 --> 00:46:33,665
Go over there and ask her
if she needs an extra hand.
845
00:46:33,749 --> 00:46:35,000
That's stupid, Kev. I can't--
846
00:46:35,083 --> 00:46:37,503
That's not stupid!
You're stupid if you don't go!
847
00:46:37,586 --> 00:46:39,421
Come on! Get over there!
848
00:46:39,505 --> 00:46:42,007
-Get going, man. She's prime.
-Get out of here!
849
00:46:42,090 --> 00:46:44,760
-[Finch] She's waiting for you.
-Okay, all right. I'm going.
850
00:46:45,594 --> 00:46:46,803
-Go!
-I'm going!
851
00:46:46,887 --> 00:46:48,722
-Go! Go! Go!
-Oh, shit.
852
00:47:09,785 --> 00:47:11,078
Hey, Mom. Hey, Dad.
853
00:47:15,791 --> 00:47:16,625
[panting]
854
00:47:17,584 --> 00:47:20,045
Oh, boy. Oh, God. Oh, crap. Oh, no.
855
00:47:20,796 --> 00:47:21,880
[phone ringing]
856
00:47:22,673 --> 00:47:23,757
Hello?
857
00:47:23,840 --> 00:47:26,718
Looks like Jim addressed the e-mail wrong.
858
00:47:26,885 --> 00:47:28,053
What?
859
00:47:28,136 --> 00:47:31,098
It went out to every mailbox
in the East High directory.
860
00:47:31,348 --> 00:47:32,849
God, how juvenile.
861
00:47:33,559 --> 00:47:34,935
Hey, hey, hey, guys!
862
00:47:35,143 --> 00:47:36,186
[singing]
863
00:47:36,270 --> 00:47:39,314
Check this out! Oh, my God! Wow!
864
00:47:42,401 --> 00:47:43,485
Oh. [chuckles]
865
00:47:45,153 --> 00:47:48,740
Please, God, let this be it.
866
00:47:49,283 --> 00:47:50,492
Please?
867
00:47:53,829 --> 00:47:54,955
[Nadia gasping]
868
00:47:55,330 --> 00:47:56,665
Somebody's going in there.
869
00:47:56,957 --> 00:47:58,375
[Nadia moaning]
870
00:48:01,503 --> 00:48:03,755
Here you go. That's what you need to do.
871
00:48:03,839 --> 00:48:05,882
-That guy's in my trig class.
-Oh, no.
872
00:48:08,468 --> 00:48:10,470
Looks like you could use an extra hand.
873
00:48:10,554 --> 00:48:11,722
Jim!
874
00:48:11,930 --> 00:48:14,516
-Well... Oh, God.
-Shame on you.
875
00:48:14,600 --> 00:48:17,227
Yeah, shame on me.
I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry.
876
00:48:17,311 --> 00:48:19,771
-You know, I'm just gonna go.
-Well,
877
00:48:21,231 --> 00:48:22,566
you have seen me.
878
00:48:24,109 --> 00:48:25,569
Now, it's my turn to see you.
879
00:48:28,113 --> 00:48:29,323
Strip!
880
00:48:31,325 --> 00:48:32,868
-Strip?
-Slowly.
881
00:48:35,370 --> 00:48:37,914
You mean, like, "strip" strip?
882
00:48:37,998 --> 00:48:39,207
For me.
883
00:48:41,418 --> 00:48:43,086
What is he talking to her about?
884
00:48:43,378 --> 00:48:44,463
No idea.
885
00:48:45,172 --> 00:48:47,841
[Finch] Come on, Jim.
People are viewing. Get to business.
886
00:48:48,091 --> 00:48:48,967
[tuning on radio]
887
00:48:49,051 --> 00:48:50,302
[techno music playing]
888
00:48:51,386 --> 00:48:52,596
Perfect!
889
00:48:54,431 --> 00:48:57,059
-Move, James! Move!
-Yeah, yeah. Move.
890
00:49:05,442 --> 00:49:07,527
Go, trig boy! It's your birthday!
891
00:49:18,914 --> 00:49:20,624
-No! No. No.
-Please, God.
892
00:49:20,791 --> 00:49:21,917
Come on
893
00:49:22,376 --> 00:49:23,335
What's going on?
894
00:49:28,715 --> 00:49:31,009
-Yes!
-All right. Get in the mix!
895
00:49:31,093 --> 00:49:32,302
-See there.
-Oh, okay.
896
00:49:35,263 --> 00:49:36,807
This is disgusting.
897
00:49:37,599 --> 00:49:40,268
What the fuck is this?
898
00:49:42,020 --> 00:49:43,230
Cut it out, man!
899
00:49:49,152 --> 00:49:50,278
Yeah.
900
00:49:52,322 --> 00:49:53,573
[all laughing]
901
00:50:03,417 --> 00:50:04,251
Freak.
902
00:50:09,673 --> 00:50:11,717
He did not just take out that chair.
903
00:50:11,800 --> 00:50:13,176
Yup, he took out the chair.
904
00:50:13,260 --> 00:50:15,554
More, more, you bad boy!
905
00:50:15,721 --> 00:50:19,224
Oh, yeah, I'm bad.
I'm naughty, baby. Yeah!
906
00:50:20,100 --> 00:50:21,685
Oh, God!
907
00:50:22,060 --> 00:50:23,645
[chitters]
908
00:50:28,900 --> 00:50:31,153
Now, come to me.
909
00:50:31,486 --> 00:50:33,029
Oh, yeah.
910
00:50:41,997 --> 00:50:43,874
-Here we go.
-He's in, man.
911
00:50:44,040 --> 00:50:46,251
This just got a hell of a lot better.
912
00:50:46,334 --> 00:50:47,669
Be gentle.
913
00:50:48,253 --> 00:50:49,588
Okay.
914
00:50:51,715 --> 00:50:55,093
Oh...
915
00:50:59,347 --> 00:51:00,682
-Oh!
-Jim?
916
00:51:02,267 --> 00:51:03,810
Oh, no. Oh, no.
917
00:51:03,894 --> 00:51:05,353
-Oh, no.
-Oh, no.
918
00:51:05,437 --> 00:51:08,774
-Oh. Oh!
-[boy 1] You've done that before, dude.
919
00:51:08,857 --> 00:51:10,233
[boy 2] Houston, we have a problem.
920
00:51:11,985 --> 00:51:12,819
[sighs]
921
00:51:13,028 --> 00:51:14,446
What happened? What did he do?
922
00:51:16,198 --> 00:51:17,324
He blew it.
923
00:51:18,450 --> 00:51:19,743
I guess I'll be going now.
924
00:51:19,826 --> 00:51:22,704
No, no, no, I'm not done, Nadia.
925
00:51:22,788 --> 00:51:25,248
I've got reserves.
926
00:51:25,332 --> 00:51:28,043
Nadia, please, please. I'm begging you.
927
00:51:28,126 --> 00:51:31,046
Well, I do like your dirty magazines.
928
00:51:31,213 --> 00:51:33,590
[stammering] You do? Okay. Well...
929
00:51:33,673 --> 00:51:35,759
Did... Did you see this one?
930
00:51:36,551 --> 00:51:41,473
This here is
your more exotic, risqué magazine.
931
00:51:41,807 --> 00:51:43,517
-He's pulling out the porn.
-He's desperate.
932
00:51:43,809 --> 00:51:45,477
[Finch] Jim, just wait till she leaves.
933
00:51:45,560 --> 00:51:48,104
Very arousing women. They arouse me...
[clears throat]
934
00:51:48,188 --> 00:51:50,232
They arouse me very, very much.
935
00:51:50,315 --> 00:51:54,653
But... But not as arousing as you.
936
00:51:54,736 --> 00:51:58,114
-Oh, Jim!
-Oh, God!
937
00:52:02,702 --> 00:52:04,037
-Yes!
-Yes!
938
00:52:04,120 --> 00:52:05,539
-All right.
-Yes.
939
00:52:06,248 --> 00:52:08,250
He's ruining daisy! Whoo!
940
00:52:11,503 --> 00:52:14,422
So "shaved" is the expression?
941
00:52:19,094 --> 00:52:20,387
Holy shit.
942
00:52:20,512 --> 00:52:22,013
Holy shit!
943
00:52:22,097 --> 00:52:23,598
[all] Holy shit!
944
00:52:23,974 --> 00:52:25,183
Holy shit!
945
00:52:25,350 --> 00:52:26,768
Touch me, Jim.
946
00:52:29,437 --> 00:52:30,605
Here.
947
00:52:31,147 --> 00:52:33,108
Oh. Oh.
948
00:52:34,484 --> 00:52:35,694
[all] Again?
949
00:52:35,777 --> 00:52:36,987
Not again.
950
00:52:37,070 --> 00:52:38,697
Not again, man!
951
00:52:39,030 --> 00:52:40,323
Is that possible?
952
00:52:40,782 --> 00:52:42,367
What a loser.
953
00:52:43,952 --> 00:52:45,370
[bell ringing]
954
00:52:46,454 --> 00:52:47,581
Hey!
955
00:52:55,213 --> 00:52:56,965
[kids laughing, cheering]
956
00:53:09,978 --> 00:53:12,480
[Oz singing]
957
00:53:31,666 --> 00:53:33,919
-Hey, minute man!
-Shut up.
958
00:53:34,002 --> 00:53:36,212
You know... You know,
you're supposed to be supportive.
959
00:53:36,296 --> 00:53:38,840
Hey, you think you still
got a chance with Nadia?
960
00:53:40,842 --> 00:53:43,678
No. Her sponsors here
saw the thing on the Net.
961
00:53:43,762 --> 00:53:45,305
I really don't think they liked it.
962
00:53:45,931 --> 00:53:47,182
How do you know that?
963
00:53:47,933 --> 00:53:49,309
She's already on a plane back home.
964
00:53:49,392 --> 00:53:50,852
-Oh!
-Yeah.
965
00:53:52,103 --> 00:53:53,146
You know, guys?
966
00:53:53,229 --> 00:53:55,899
Maybe I'm just not good
with girls, period.
967
00:53:55,982 --> 00:53:57,067
No, no, no, really, really.
968
00:53:57,150 --> 00:53:59,486
Like I was born
without that part of the brain.
969
00:53:59,569 --> 00:54:01,571
I mean, I can't talk to girls.
970
00:54:01,655 --> 00:54:03,448
And when I do talk to them, I screw it up.
971
00:54:03,531 --> 00:54:07,202
Yeah, well, come prom, those excuses
aren't going to do you any good.
972
00:54:09,663 --> 00:54:10,497
[sighs]
973
00:54:10,580 --> 00:54:14,501
[Michelle] And one time at band camp,
we weren't supposed to have pillow fights,
974
00:54:14,584 --> 00:54:17,837
but we had a pillow fight,
and it was so much fun.
975
00:54:17,921 --> 00:54:22,884
And this one time, we all lost our music,
and we were supposed to play this song,
976
00:54:22,968 --> 00:54:24,469
but we didn't know it,
977
00:54:24,552 --> 00:54:28,306
so we just made it up,
and we kept playing and playing,
978
00:54:28,390 --> 00:54:32,018
and the conductor didn't know
what we were doing, and it was so funny.
979
00:54:32,727 --> 00:54:35,063
So you're pissed about something, huh?
980
00:54:35,146 --> 00:54:36,648
You know what I do when I'm angry?
981
00:54:36,731 --> 00:54:40,110
I just play some Bach
on my flute. It's so relaxing.
982
00:54:40,193 --> 00:54:41,611
I learned to do that at band camp.
983
00:54:41,695 --> 00:54:42,862
Hold on. Um...
984
00:54:43,947 --> 00:54:46,825
You have no idea why I'm angry?
985
00:54:46,908 --> 00:54:48,702
Is it because we have a test tomorrow?
986
00:54:48,785 --> 00:54:52,080
Sometimes, I get cranky when I know
I have a big test to study for.
987
00:54:52,163 --> 00:54:52,998
[laughs]
988
00:54:53,790 --> 00:54:56,584
Yeah. Yeah, that's pretty much it.
989
00:54:57,002 --> 00:54:59,295
I thought so because, this one time
at band camp--
990
00:54:59,379 --> 00:55:00,630
What's your name?
991
00:55:00,964 --> 00:55:03,383
-Michelle.
-Okay. Michelle. Um...
992
00:55:05,760 --> 00:55:07,262
Do you want to be my date for the prom?
993
00:55:08,096 --> 00:55:10,932
Really? You seriously want to go with me?
994
00:55:15,186 --> 00:55:16,938
Yes. Seriously.
995
00:55:17,272 --> 00:55:19,524
Are we going
to Steve Stifler's party afterwards?
996
00:55:19,607 --> 00:55:21,151
Because that would be so cool.
997
00:55:21,693 --> 00:55:23,903
Sure, whatever you want.
998
00:55:23,987 --> 00:55:26,489
Cool! We're gonna have such a good time.
999
00:55:26,573 --> 00:55:30,869
It'll be like this one time at band camp
when we all had a campfire...
1000
00:55:33,288 --> 00:55:34,956
[knocking at door]
1001
00:55:39,836 --> 00:55:41,379
[siren wailing]
1002
00:55:46,426 --> 00:55:47,469
Hi.
1003
00:55:49,387 --> 00:55:51,056
How'd you know I was here?
1004
00:55:51,139 --> 00:55:52,640
Stifler told me.
1005
00:55:53,475 --> 00:55:55,101
Talked to Stifler?
1006
00:55:55,185 --> 00:55:57,103
Well, I needed to find you.
1007
00:55:57,187 --> 00:55:58,980
We're gonna have to work on that song.
1008
00:56:00,523 --> 00:56:02,984
Okay. I'm glad you came by.
1009
00:56:03,902 --> 00:56:05,195
So you work nights?
1010
00:56:06,905 --> 00:56:09,157
Oh, my dad's the manager.
1011
00:56:09,240 --> 00:56:10,784
Really?
1012
00:56:10,909 --> 00:56:14,037
Cool. Tell him the subs are great.
1013
00:56:14,871 --> 00:56:15,705
[chuckles]
1014
00:56:16,539 --> 00:56:18,917
-So you're going to Michigan next year?
-Yeah.
1015
00:56:19,167 --> 00:56:21,669
My parents want me to go to Northwestern,
1016
00:56:21,961 --> 00:56:25,048
but I don't wanna write all those
extra essays they make you do.
1017
00:56:25,131 --> 00:56:26,424
I mean, how am I supposed to know
1018
00:56:26,508 --> 00:56:29,969
what my "most emotionally
significant moment" was?
1019
00:56:30,220 --> 00:56:32,680
So, when my U of M acceptance
came in December,
1020
00:56:32,764 --> 00:56:34,516
I just said, "The hell with it."
1021
00:56:35,266 --> 00:56:37,060
-Onions?
-What?
1022
00:56:38,103 --> 00:56:39,729
You, uh, want onions?
1023
00:56:40,230 --> 00:56:41,898
Oh, no, thank you.
1024
00:56:44,234 --> 00:56:46,402
So what are you gonna major in?
1025
00:56:46,986 --> 00:56:48,696
State's got a good business school,
1026
00:56:48,780 --> 00:56:51,241
and I could probably walk
onto the lacrosse team.
1027
00:56:51,741 --> 00:56:54,536
Well, you've got it
pretty figured out, then, huh?
1028
00:56:55,203 --> 00:56:58,832
I mean, business is okay,
and lacrosse is awesome,
1029
00:56:58,915 --> 00:57:01,918
but what am I gonna be,
a professional lacrosse player?
1030
00:57:02,085 --> 00:57:03,545
I really have no idea.
1031
00:57:04,254 --> 00:57:06,881
Thank God. I thought I was the only one.
1032
00:57:07,882 --> 00:57:09,175
Well, you're not.
1033
00:57:11,177 --> 00:57:13,138
So we're gonna be close next year.
1034
00:57:21,229 --> 00:57:22,897
You mean East Lansing and Ann Arbor?
1035
00:57:23,231 --> 00:57:24,357
Yeah. [chuckles]
1036
00:57:26,151 --> 00:57:27,861
[Stifler] What are you talking about?
1037
00:57:27,944 --> 00:57:32,031
I'm sorry, but I can't go to the prom with
you. I'm holding out for someone else.
1038
00:57:32,115 --> 00:57:34,659
[scoffs] You gotta be fucking kidding me.
1039
00:57:35,285 --> 00:57:39,038
I know it's a long shot,
but I figure Paul Finch might ask me.
1040
00:57:39,789 --> 00:57:42,417
Finch. Shit-brick.
1041
00:57:43,376 --> 00:57:45,628
Oh, gosh. I forgot.
1042
00:57:46,296 --> 00:57:48,339
[stammering] You look okay.
1043
00:57:48,506 --> 00:57:51,342
I mean, the scars healed really well.
1044
00:57:52,177 --> 00:57:53,970
-Hey, Stifler.
-Eat shit.
1045
00:57:56,806 --> 00:57:58,308
What was that all about?
1046
00:57:58,808 --> 00:58:01,436
He's still embarrassed
because Finch kicked his ass.
1047
00:58:02,145 --> 00:58:03,271
Who told you that?
1048
00:58:03,605 --> 00:58:05,440
[Kevin] What do you mean, "no comment"?
1049
00:58:05,607 --> 00:58:07,066
Did you two hook up or something?
1050
00:58:07,150 --> 00:58:08,735
What, are you kidding? No.
1051
00:58:08,818 --> 00:58:10,653
Then how did all this get started?
1052
00:58:12,322 --> 00:58:15,533
Well, I guess it's all right for me
to tell you now.
1053
00:58:15,617 --> 00:58:17,702
That reputation of his
isn't going anywhere.
1054
00:58:17,785 --> 00:58:19,245
Cheese, please.
1055
00:58:19,996 --> 00:58:21,831
Finch comes up to me and says, "Jessica,
1056
00:58:21,915 --> 00:58:24,792
I need your help with this,
blah, blah, etcetera." Right?
1057
00:58:24,876 --> 00:58:27,420
So I said, "All right. Pay me 200 bucks,
1058
00:58:27,504 --> 00:58:30,006
and I'll tell a couple of girls
that you're dynamite in bed."
1059
00:58:30,215 --> 00:58:32,425
So he did, and I did.
1060
00:58:32,509 --> 00:58:33,676
That actually works?
1061
00:58:33,760 --> 00:58:35,011
Well, duh! Of course.
1062
00:58:35,094 --> 00:58:37,639
I mean, naturally, I embellished
a little bit.
1063
00:58:37,722 --> 00:58:40,433
Hey, did you hear that Finch
had an affair with an older woman?
1064
00:58:40,517 --> 00:58:42,227
No, I didn't hear that one.
1065
00:58:42,310 --> 00:58:43,811
That one was my favorite.
1066
00:58:44,979 --> 00:58:47,106
[Stifler laughing] Do that cheerleader.
1067
00:58:47,190 --> 00:58:48,775
[Oz singing]
1068
00:58:48,858 --> 00:58:50,401
She wants me. She calls me up...
1069
00:58:54,989 --> 00:58:58,034
Oh, my God, you're gay!
1070
00:58:58,117 --> 00:59:00,370
Oh come on. Sing it with me.
You know the words.
1071
00:59:00,453 --> 00:59:03,456
No thanks, man.
You've been singing that shit all week.
1072
00:59:03,540 --> 00:59:07,252
I'm telling you, if you try that at MSU
this Saturday, I'll kick your ass.
1073
00:59:07,335 --> 00:59:09,379
Our last game is this Saturday?
1074
00:59:09,712 --> 00:59:11,422
[scoffs] No shit.
1075
00:59:14,926 --> 00:59:18,471
I've got this lacrosse game.
It's really important. It's our last game.
1076
00:59:18,555 --> 00:59:20,390
Central almost beat us last time,
1077
00:59:20,473 --> 00:59:22,308
so, this time,
I really wanna kick their ass.
1078
00:59:22,392 --> 00:59:25,270
But it's gonna be cool, you know,
because the game's at State,
1079
00:59:25,353 --> 00:59:27,355
which means afterwards
I'll be able to stop by.
1080
00:59:27,438 --> 00:59:29,607
So you can't sing at the competition.
1081
00:59:31,067 --> 00:59:33,861
-Heather, I'm sorry. I totally blew it.
-It's okay.
1082
00:59:34,237 --> 00:59:36,489
You should do what makes you happy.
1083
00:59:39,075 --> 00:59:42,870
All right.
Listen, thanks for understanding.
1084
00:59:42,954 --> 00:59:44,080
Yeah.
1085
00:59:46,249 --> 00:59:48,501
So I guess I'll see you later?
1086
00:59:49,085 --> 00:59:49,919
Mmm-hmm.
1087
01:00:00,847 --> 01:00:02,390
[whistling]
1088
01:00:04,767 --> 01:00:06,394
Hey, Kevin.
1089
01:00:06,477 --> 01:00:08,062
You seen shit-brick lately?
1090
01:00:08,771 --> 01:00:10,898
Why? What did you do to him?
1091
01:00:11,774 --> 01:00:13,610
Me? Nothing.
1092
01:00:13,693 --> 01:00:16,696
See, I'm the one whose ass he kicked.
1093
01:00:16,946 --> 01:00:19,532
But I'll tell you one thing, though.
1094
01:00:20,325 --> 01:00:22,827
I don't think he's gonna have a problem
shitting in school anymore.
1095
01:00:23,119 --> 01:00:24,954
Slipped a little something
into his mochaccino.
1096
01:00:28,791 --> 01:00:30,126
Oh, God!
1097
01:00:30,960 --> 01:00:32,795
Oh! Oh!
1098
01:00:39,218 --> 01:00:40,553
Jesus.
1099
01:00:41,971 --> 01:00:43,890
Right this way, sir.
1100
01:00:50,396 --> 01:00:52,023
Oh, God.
1101
01:00:52,523 --> 01:00:53,858
[farting]
1102
01:00:55,943 --> 01:00:56,778
[grunting]
1103
01:01:20,593 --> 01:01:22,428
[girls giggling]
1104
01:01:22,512 --> 01:01:23,721
Oh, no.
1105
01:01:24,847 --> 01:01:26,349
It's gonna be fun.
1106
01:01:26,432 --> 01:01:29,727
You know, it's just gonna be some
crappy band and stupid decorations.
1107
01:01:29,811 --> 01:01:31,145
[girl] Okay. You're just saying that
1108
01:01:31,229 --> 01:01:33,398
because prom's a week away
and you don't have a date.
1109
01:01:33,731 --> 01:01:35,942
[Joanie] No, no, no. I don't want a date.
1110
01:01:36,943 --> 01:01:40,113
Finch is going stag, and so am I.
1111
01:01:40,196 --> 01:01:41,030
[groans]
1112
01:01:41,114 --> 01:01:44,033
God, he's like so refined.
1113
01:01:44,117 --> 01:01:45,201
[groans]
1114
01:01:45,284 --> 01:01:47,370
[girl] You think
that older woman thing is true?
1115
01:01:47,453 --> 01:01:50,748
Yeah, it's true. It was Stifler's mom.
1116
01:01:51,541 --> 01:01:52,709
[farts]
1117
01:01:53,918 --> 01:01:55,920
Joanie, was that you?
1118
01:01:56,129 --> 01:01:58,423
-Oh!
-[Finch] Can't hold it.
1119
01:01:58,506 --> 01:01:59,549
Oh!
1120
01:01:59,632 --> 01:02:01,092
[defecating]
1121
01:02:02,760 --> 01:02:04,470
[groaning]
1122
01:02:06,264 --> 01:02:07,807
[girls] Ew!
1123
01:02:20,653 --> 01:02:23,072
[Finch whistling]
1124
01:02:25,116 --> 01:02:29,078
[all laughing]
1125
01:02:30,288 --> 01:02:31,497
Yeah!
1126
01:02:34,751 --> 01:02:37,587
[Vicky] Kev? I think we've come
1127
01:02:37,670 --> 01:02:39,589
a really long way since homecoming.
1128
01:02:39,839 --> 01:02:41,257
[Kevin] Yeah, we have.
1129
01:02:41,340 --> 01:02:45,803
Maybe it's time we start to express
ourselves in new ways.
1130
01:02:47,555 --> 01:02:49,348
-Yeah.
-You wanna do it?
1131
01:02:49,599 --> 01:02:52,310
-Yeah.
-I love you.
1132
01:02:54,061 --> 01:02:55,229
It's your turn.
1133
01:02:57,899 --> 01:02:59,817
That's not what I was thinking.
1134
01:03:00,735 --> 01:03:04,197
Sex. It's always about sex.
1135
01:03:04,363 --> 01:03:06,199
Hey, it's not always about sex.
1136
01:03:07,617 --> 01:03:10,578
Look, I just thought it was
about sex this time.
1137
01:03:13,873 --> 01:03:18,294
Look, Vicky, love is a term
that gets thrown around,
1138
01:03:18,377 --> 01:03:20,129
and people don't mean it.
1139
01:03:20,671 --> 01:03:23,591
When I say it,
I want it to be more than words.
1140
01:03:23,925 --> 01:03:26,219
-You know? I want it to be--
-Perfect.
1141
01:03:28,805 --> 01:03:29,889
Exactly.
1142
01:03:31,015 --> 01:03:33,351
{\an8}-[teacher] Okay, Albert. You ready?
-[Albert] No problemo.
1143
01:03:34,769 --> 01:03:36,729
[singing]
1144
01:03:38,648 --> 01:03:40,274
Come on, Heather. Work with me here.
1145
01:03:41,067 --> 01:03:42,902
[spectators cheering]
1146
01:03:46,489 --> 01:03:48,741
[announcer] Goal, Ostreicher!
1147
01:03:49,784 --> 01:03:52,954
-All right, Oz!
-Attaboy, Ozzie!
1148
01:03:53,204 --> 01:03:54,747
[boy 1] Yeah, baby!
1149
01:03:54,831 --> 01:03:58,042
-We're crushing you losers!
-[boy 2] Let's go, fellows! Come on!
1150
01:03:58,292 --> 01:04:00,086
[whooping]
1151
01:04:03,047 --> 01:04:05,299
[performing vocal exercise]
1152
01:04:06,425 --> 01:04:08,386
Focus on the music. Think melody.
1153
01:04:08,469 --> 01:04:09,929
Let the music be my guide.
1154
01:04:10,012 --> 01:04:11,305
Yeah, that would be a start.
1155
01:04:22,191 --> 01:04:24,193
Who's the man? Stifler!
1156
01:04:26,946 --> 01:04:29,574
[coach] Huddle up, guys!
Huddle up! Come on!
1157
01:04:37,456 --> 01:04:40,626
Huddle up! Come on! Okay.
1158
01:04:41,085 --> 01:04:43,045
All right, all right!
1159
01:04:43,129 --> 01:04:45,298
Good hustle, guys. Good hustle.
1160
01:04:45,381 --> 01:04:47,383
But you can still lose.
1161
01:04:47,842 --> 01:04:50,386
You all saw what happened to Oz out there.
1162
01:04:50,469 --> 01:04:55,600
I don't want to ever see
any of you thinking you're gonna score.
1163
01:04:55,683 --> 01:04:59,061
You don't score until you score.
1164
01:04:59,145 --> 01:05:01,522
-Until you score.
-That's right, baby! [laughs]
1165
01:05:01,606 --> 01:05:03,774
[coach] It all boils down to today.
1166
01:05:04,233 --> 01:05:07,695
For you seniors,
this marks the culmination
1167
01:05:07,904 --> 01:05:10,740
-of the past four years.
-Culmination.
1168
01:05:11,782 --> 01:05:14,577
[coach] I want you to think
about what this means to you.
1169
01:05:15,620 --> 01:05:18,539
Do you guys wanna look back
on your days at East
1170
01:05:18,915 --> 01:05:21,876
and know that you used the time you had?
1171
01:05:22,501 --> 01:05:24,921
-Hell, yeah! Whoo!
-[coach] You do!
1172
01:05:26,714 --> 01:05:28,925
Ah! Good attitude, Ostreicher.
1173
01:05:29,425 --> 01:05:30,801
Good luck, fellows.
1174
01:05:31,761 --> 01:05:34,180
Christ, I didn't tell you
to leave the game.
1175
01:05:34,931 --> 01:05:36,098
I'm sorry, Coach.
1176
01:05:36,307 --> 01:05:38,643
You got someplace
more important to be, Ostreicher?
1177
01:05:39,143 --> 01:05:40,269
Yeah.
1178
01:05:42,271 --> 01:05:43,606
Ostreicher!
1179
01:05:44,523 --> 01:05:47,860
Oz? Fuckface?
1180
01:05:48,569 --> 01:05:50,404
[coach] Ostreicher!
1181
01:06:16,305 --> 01:06:18,641
-Hey, Oz!
-Ozmeister!
1182
01:06:19,350 --> 01:06:21,018
-Oh, great.
-What about the game?
1183
01:06:21,102 --> 01:06:22,436
I'm not playing.
1184
01:06:22,520 --> 01:06:24,397
You're missing the game for us?
1185
01:06:24,480 --> 01:06:27,149
No, I'm missing the game for you.
1186
01:06:30,569 --> 01:06:32,697
Does this mean
I'm not gonna get to do the duet?
1187
01:06:32,905 --> 01:06:34,281
Albert, you suck.
1188
01:06:39,578 --> 01:06:41,455
I don't think he's coming back.
1189
01:06:43,874 --> 01:06:46,002
[all singing a cappella music]
1190
01:07:20,411 --> 01:07:21,954
[audience applauding]
1191
01:07:23,205 --> 01:07:25,666
Yeah, Oz! You fucking rule!
1192
01:07:25,750 --> 01:07:28,252
Fucking rule! Yeah!
1193
01:07:28,961 --> 01:07:29,795
Whoohoo!
1194
01:07:31,213 --> 01:07:33,215
[Vicky] Maybe the words
aren't that important.
1195
01:07:33,299 --> 01:07:35,634
It's like, I know he really cares
about me, you know?
1196
01:07:35,718 --> 01:07:37,762
Even if he can't say it, he does.
1197
01:07:37,845 --> 01:07:41,640
And, yeah, he always talks about sex,
but that's okay 'cause he's a guy, right?
1198
01:07:41,849 --> 01:07:43,559
He's got a dick. He's a guy.
1199
01:07:43,642 --> 01:07:44,894
Right.
1200
01:07:44,977 --> 01:07:46,604
Wait. Is this translation right?
1201
01:07:46,687 --> 01:07:49,565
"Go home, bird teacher. I've had enough."
1202
01:07:49,648 --> 01:07:51,692
I don't know. I got it from Kevin.
1203
01:07:53,277 --> 01:07:55,654
-So does it hurt?
-What?
1204
01:07:56,238 --> 01:07:58,908
You know, sex. Does it hurt?
1205
01:07:59,658 --> 01:08:03,579
Yeah. I mean, the first time you do it,
you know, it hurts.
1206
01:08:03,662 --> 01:08:07,124
But then you... You do it again
and again...
1207
01:08:07,875 --> 01:08:10,961
It just starts to feel good.
Like, really good.
1208
01:08:11,212 --> 01:08:14,006
Okay, so say I don't do it.
1209
01:08:15,382 --> 01:08:16,842
And then I go off to college.
1210
01:08:16,926 --> 01:08:19,220
And I might end up
doing it with some random guy
1211
01:08:19,303 --> 01:08:21,305
who totally turns out to be a jerk.
1212
01:08:21,388 --> 01:08:22,807
This is true.
1213
01:08:22,890 --> 01:08:24,433
And I'll wish I would've done it
with Kevin.
1214
01:08:25,851 --> 01:08:27,645
So go do it with Kevin.
1215
01:08:28,646 --> 01:08:30,856
-You think?
-Yeah. You're... You're ready.
1216
01:08:30,940 --> 01:08:34,443
You're woman. Look at you.
You're ready for sex.
1217
01:08:34,527 --> 01:08:36,028
-You're right.
-I know.
1218
01:08:36,112 --> 01:08:38,489
-I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna have sex.
-Now.
1219
01:08:38,572 --> 01:08:40,366
And it's gonna be right,
and it's gonna be just perfect.
1220
01:08:40,616 --> 01:08:42,243
-Perfect sex.
-Thanks, Jessica.
1221
01:08:42,993 --> 01:08:44,203
Please.
1222
01:08:46,038 --> 01:08:47,206
[shouting] Kevin.
1223
01:08:48,249 --> 01:08:49,416
Kevin.
1224
01:08:51,877 --> 01:08:55,381
-[whispering] I wanna have sex.
-[shouting] Now?
1225
01:09:00,344 --> 01:09:01,595
Prom.
1226
01:09:44,138 --> 01:09:46,557
[Jim's dad] You must be excitedabout the big night tonight.
1227
01:09:46,724 --> 01:09:48,017
Thrilled.
1228
01:09:49,101 --> 01:09:50,561
Who's the lucky girl?
1229
01:09:52,021 --> 01:09:53,314
Michelle.
1230
01:09:54,023 --> 01:09:56,358
-Michelle.
-Yeah.
1231
01:09:57,359 --> 01:09:58,777
She must be very special.
1232
01:09:59,737 --> 01:10:01,322
Oh, she's special, all right.
1233
01:10:01,530 --> 01:10:04,825
Well, I'm sure she is special
if you picked her out of the whole bunch.
1234
01:10:08,037 --> 01:10:11,707
Jim, I'm just gonna say one thing
before you leave tonight.
1235
01:10:13,751 --> 01:10:17,004
I want you to be very, very careful
1236
01:10:18,047 --> 01:10:19,548
when you're putting on
1237
01:10:20,883 --> 01:10:21,967
the corsage.
1238
01:10:27,348 --> 01:10:28,349
Okay, Dad.
1239
01:10:28,557 --> 01:10:30,142
-Promise me.
-I promise.
1240
01:10:56,293 --> 01:10:58,337
[singing slow song]
1241
01:11:40,963 --> 01:11:43,590
You know, at band camp,
we have dances like this,
1242
01:11:43,674 --> 01:11:45,676
only they're way funner.
1243
01:11:50,431 --> 01:11:52,599
[singing upbeat song]
1244
01:12:00,733 --> 01:12:03,652
All right, status check.
So where do you guys stand?
1245
01:12:03,736 --> 01:12:05,612
I mean, well, Finch,
we know where you are,
1246
01:12:05,696 --> 01:12:07,656
but can't really use that as an excuse.
1247
01:12:07,740 --> 01:12:08,949
Jim?
1248
01:12:09,616 --> 01:12:13,662
Uh, my date's a flute-toting band dork.
Does that answer your question?
1249
01:12:14,121 --> 01:12:17,666
Oz, is this vocal-jazz shit
gonna pay off or what?
1250
01:12:17,750 --> 01:12:19,418
Kevin, what's with the attitude?
1251
01:12:20,502 --> 01:12:22,379
Attitude? Me?
1252
01:12:23,547 --> 01:12:26,300
I mean, I think you guys should be
a little more enthusiastic.
1253
01:12:26,592 --> 01:12:28,719
This is the night we've been waiting for.
1254
01:12:28,802 --> 01:12:31,013
We're in this together.
You guys can't back out.
1255
01:12:31,096 --> 01:12:33,599
Kev, you don't need us to get laid.
Are you afraid or something?
1256
01:12:34,683 --> 01:12:37,978
No. Come on. I mean, we made a pact.
1257
01:12:38,604 --> 01:12:41,273
You can't break that.
You guys are gonna have to--
1258
01:12:41,357 --> 01:12:45,027
Have to what, Kev, huh?
I don't have to do shit.
1259
01:12:45,110 --> 01:12:46,820
You know, forget it already.
1260
01:12:46,904 --> 01:12:49,323
I am so sick and tired
of all this bullshit pressure.
1261
01:12:49,406 --> 01:12:51,992
I mean, I've never even had sex,
and, already, I can't stand it.
1262
01:12:52,076 --> 01:12:53,577
I hate sex!
1263
01:12:53,660 --> 01:12:56,789
And I'm not gonna stand around here,
busting my balls over something that,
1264
01:12:56,872 --> 01:12:59,375
quite frankly, isn't that damn important.
1265
01:12:59,625 --> 01:13:01,627
I'm gonna go hang out
with that geek over there
1266
01:13:01,710 --> 01:13:04,463
'cause at least she has something else
to talk about besides sex.
1267
01:13:05,589 --> 01:13:06,924
Goddamn.
1268
01:13:08,926 --> 01:13:10,427
[Oz] Yeah.
1269
01:13:11,595 --> 01:13:14,723
You know, at least I learned
how to shit in school, buddy.
1270
01:13:14,807 --> 01:13:16,100
Hey, Finch.
1271
01:13:16,683 --> 01:13:19,478
-Wanna dance?
-Yeah.
1272
01:13:25,234 --> 01:13:26,610
How come you have no date?
1273
01:13:26,693 --> 01:13:28,445
I like to keep my options open.
1274
01:13:28,862 --> 01:13:30,322
I got something for you.
1275
01:13:33,158 --> 01:13:35,119
Consider it a consolation prize.
1276
01:13:38,080 --> 01:13:40,582
Jessica, this is great! Wow!
1277
01:13:40,666 --> 01:13:42,835
Felt sort of guilty
about taking your money.
1278
01:13:43,460 --> 01:13:45,045
You spent $200 on this?
1279
01:13:45,129 --> 01:13:48,882
No, I spent 50 on the flask,
150 on the earrings.
1280
01:13:50,759 --> 01:13:52,469
-These are...
-Let me just clarify
1281
01:13:52,553 --> 01:13:55,597
that you have no chance
of scoring with me, Finch.
1282
01:13:55,681 --> 01:13:57,182
Oh, yeah. Of course not!
1283
01:13:57,266 --> 01:13:59,768
So I take it you and Sherman
are pretty close, huh?
1284
01:13:59,852 --> 01:14:01,854
You met at that party a while back, right?
1285
01:14:01,937 --> 01:14:03,897
Yeah, we were up all night together.
1286
01:14:04,189 --> 01:14:07,234
We had one of those
amazingly deep conversations
1287
01:14:07,317 --> 01:14:09,486
where you feel like
you really get to know someone.
1288
01:14:10,446 --> 01:14:13,407
[laughs] Deep conversation, huh?
1289
01:14:13,490 --> 01:14:15,117
Is that what you call it?
1290
01:14:15,784 --> 01:14:17,327
What else would I call it?
1291
01:14:24,960 --> 01:14:26,795
Okay. Thank you, Great Falls.
1292
01:14:26,879 --> 01:14:29,840
We're gonna take a little break now.
You are beautiful.
1293
01:14:33,886 --> 01:14:35,471
[boy] You suck!
1294
01:14:38,891 --> 01:14:40,184
Excuse me, everyone.
1295
01:14:42,227 --> 01:14:43,604
Sorry to interrupt.
1296
01:14:44,521 --> 01:14:46,315
I just thought you all should know this.
1297
01:14:47,107 --> 01:14:49,026
Chuck Sherman is a liar.
1298
01:14:49,651 --> 01:14:51,153
I never had sex with him.
1299
01:14:51,570 --> 01:14:53,572
He's never had sex with anyone.
1300
01:14:53,822 --> 01:14:55,574
I know this because he told me.
1301
01:14:55,908 --> 01:14:58,952
Once he tried to screw
a grapefruit, but that's all.
1302
01:14:59,036 --> 01:15:01,788
Oh. He also told me
that, when he gets nervous,
1303
01:15:01,872 --> 01:15:03,207
he sometimes wets his pants.
1304
01:15:03,665 --> 01:15:05,000
Thank you for your time.
1305
01:15:07,836 --> 01:15:09,671
[kids laughing]
1306
01:15:12,508 --> 01:15:14,176
[clearing throat]
1307
01:15:19,848 --> 01:15:23,268
-Guess what?
-Not interested.
1308
01:15:23,352 --> 01:15:25,062
Kevin. Come on, man.
1309
01:15:25,145 --> 01:15:26,772
The bus to Stifler's
is gonna be here soon.
1310
01:15:28,065 --> 01:15:29,608
-I'm not going.
-What?
1311
01:15:30,526 --> 01:15:31,777
Why not?
1312
01:15:33,320 --> 01:15:36,907
Look, things didn't really turn out
how I wanted them to.
1313
01:15:38,242 --> 01:15:40,494
I mean, I don't even know what I'm doing.
1314
01:15:40,577 --> 01:15:43,872
I'm acting like I've got everything
together tonight.
1315
01:15:44,206 --> 01:15:47,125
I know that Vicky's gonna ask me
if I love her, and...
1316
01:15:48,168 --> 01:15:50,170
I don't know what I'm gonna say.
1317
01:15:50,254 --> 01:15:51,797
I mean, I'm on the brink.
1318
01:15:51,880 --> 01:15:55,133
I'm just about to do it.
I should be psyched.
1319
01:15:55,717 --> 01:15:59,721
I don't know. Maybe you're right.
Maybe I am just scared.
1320
01:16:00,681 --> 01:16:03,767
[scoffs] Come on, Kev.
Tonight is the night.
1321
01:16:04,017 --> 01:16:07,020
We are finally going
to a post-prom party on the lake.
1322
01:16:07,104 --> 01:16:09,481
I mean, we have been waiting
for this for four years.
1323
01:16:10,148 --> 01:16:12,693
Why else have we been friends
with Stifler all this time, right?
1324
01:16:13,652 --> 01:16:16,071
-We were friends with Stifler?
-[snickers]
1325
01:16:16,154 --> 01:16:17,489
Hey, look.
1326
01:16:19,408 --> 01:16:21,243
Sherman didn't even get laid.
1327
01:16:22,202 --> 01:16:24,746
-He didn't?
-No, he pissed himself.
1328
01:16:24,830 --> 01:16:26,081
[laughing]
1329
01:16:26,164 --> 01:16:27,332
What?
1330
01:16:28,458 --> 01:16:29,835
We'll tell you on the bus.
1331
01:16:30,002 --> 01:16:32,504
[sighs] I'm gonna go inside
and grab my bag.
1332
01:16:34,172 --> 01:16:36,216
My date, too, perhaps?
1333
01:16:38,427 --> 01:16:40,387
[Jim] Stifler's mom got it in the divorce.
1334
01:16:40,470 --> 01:16:42,389
[Michelle] That reminds me
of this one time...
1335
01:16:42,472 --> 01:16:45,142
Hey, can I ask you a question?
1336
01:16:45,225 --> 01:16:47,144
How come you don't have any stories?
1337
01:16:47,227 --> 01:16:49,479
I've got lots of them,
and you don't have any.
1338
01:16:50,689 --> 01:16:53,734
Oh, I've got stories.
Believe me. They're just...
1339
01:16:53,817 --> 01:16:56,695
They're just a little more
risqué than tales of band camp.
1340
01:16:56,778 --> 01:17:00,282
Oh. Are they gross or something?
Like guy stuff? Tell me!
1341
01:17:01,325 --> 01:17:03,035
Okay. You want a story?
1342
01:17:03,118 --> 01:17:05,662
Here's a story.
Stifler finds this beer, right?
1343
01:17:09,291 --> 01:17:11,501
[Kevin] This is the nicest room
in the house.
1344
01:17:11,585 --> 01:17:13,253
[Vicky] Oh, Kev, it's perfect.
1345
01:17:24,139 --> 01:17:25,390
[screams]
1346
01:17:25,557 --> 01:17:27,684
You guys are gonna fuck, aren't you?
1347
01:17:28,185 --> 01:17:30,562
Fuckers! Fuckers, fuckers!
1348
01:17:30,646 --> 01:17:33,398
Fuckers, fuckers, fuckers!
1349
01:17:34,608 --> 01:17:36,693
-Out.
-Oh, come on!
1350
01:17:36,777 --> 01:17:39,655
-Get out.
-Oh, man!
1351
01:17:41,782 --> 01:17:43,700
[both chuckle]
1352
01:17:57,339 --> 01:17:59,216
There's something I've been meaning
to tell you, Heather.
1353
01:17:59,299 --> 01:18:00,801
What's that?
1354
01:18:02,052 --> 01:18:05,597
It's gonna sound really bad,
but I want you to know.
1355
01:18:07,140 --> 01:18:08,475
You see...
1356
01:18:09,893 --> 01:18:12,729
I'm a virgin, and...
1357
01:18:14,106 --> 01:18:16,608
Well, me, Kevin, Jim, and Finch,
1358
01:18:16,900 --> 01:18:19,361
we all made this pact
1359
01:18:19,444 --> 01:18:21,446
that we would lose our virginity
1360
01:18:22,572 --> 01:18:24,616
before high school was over,
1361
01:18:24,700 --> 01:18:27,869
and tonight is supposed
to be the night that we all do it.
1362
01:18:29,621 --> 01:18:32,124
This isn't the best way to proposition me.
1363
01:18:32,207 --> 01:18:34,584
No, that's... That's not what I mean.
1364
01:18:34,668 --> 01:18:36,336
What I mean is...
1365
01:18:38,046 --> 01:18:41,133
Look, do you know
what made me leave that game?
1366
01:18:41,425 --> 01:18:45,053
See, Coach, he was giving us
this speech about
1367
01:18:45,137 --> 01:18:48,098
not slacking off when you see
the opportunity to score...
1368
01:18:48,432 --> 01:18:49,891
This isn't any better, Chris.
1369
01:18:49,975 --> 01:18:52,060
No, see... You see, Heather,
1370
01:18:52,686 --> 01:18:55,522
what I realized is that, with you,
1371
01:18:55,605 --> 01:18:59,317
it's not like I'm running towards a goal,
1372
01:18:59,401 --> 01:19:01,403
looking for the best way to score.
1373
01:19:02,988 --> 01:19:05,282
This may sound a little corny,
1374
01:19:06,616 --> 01:19:08,034
but I feel like I've already won.
1375
01:19:11,329 --> 01:19:14,332
And I care about you a lot.
1376
01:19:16,918 --> 01:19:18,253
Oz, I know.
1377
01:19:20,338 --> 01:19:21,548
You called me Oz.
1378
01:19:21,798 --> 01:19:23,216
Well, yeah.
1379
01:19:23,759 --> 01:19:25,969
It's what your friends call you.
1380
01:19:26,261 --> 01:19:28,889
I mean, I feel like
I'm one of your friends now.
1381
01:19:29,556 --> 01:19:32,142
And... your girlfriend?
1382
01:20:07,260 --> 01:20:08,595
Are you lost?
1383
01:20:12,891 --> 01:20:14,726
Stifler's mom. Uh...
1384
01:20:15,769 --> 01:20:17,771
No, no, not lost. Just...
1385
01:20:19,231 --> 01:20:20,524
You know, taking the tour.
1386
01:20:23,276 --> 01:20:26,738
Hey, thank you for letting us
have this wonderful party.
1387
01:20:26,822 --> 01:20:29,199
As if there was
an alternative in the matter.
1388
01:20:35,413 --> 01:20:37,332
So you enjoying yourself?
1389
01:20:38,500 --> 01:20:40,293
I'm three sheets to the wind, ma'am.
1390
01:20:41,086 --> 01:20:42,796
I'm so happy for you.
1391
01:20:43,588 --> 01:20:45,215
But it takes the edge off, doesn't it?
1392
01:20:46,925 --> 01:20:48,552
So where's your little date tonight?
1393
01:20:48,802 --> 01:20:50,637
No date. It was...
1394
01:20:50,720 --> 01:20:52,848
It was a bathroom incident.
1395
01:20:53,765 --> 01:20:55,225
Pardon me?
1396
01:20:55,308 --> 01:20:56,685
Never mind.
1397
01:21:01,273 --> 01:21:03,441
You have anything to drink?
1398
01:21:03,525 --> 01:21:05,652
I believe the kegs are upstairs.
1399
01:21:07,070 --> 01:21:08,905
That is what the cretins drink.
1400
01:21:09,531 --> 01:21:11,908
I'm talking about alcohol, liquor.
1401
01:21:11,992 --> 01:21:14,870
-The good stuff.
-All right.
1402
01:21:16,705 --> 01:21:18,415
I got some scotch.
1403
01:21:18,540 --> 01:21:19,708
Single malt?
1404
01:21:19,791 --> 01:21:21,459
Aged 18 years.
1405
01:21:23,044 --> 01:21:24,713
The way I like it.
1406
01:21:28,967 --> 01:21:31,136
Why don't you go grab
a glass from the bar?
1407
01:21:33,054 --> 01:21:34,681
I think I should.
1408
01:21:36,057 --> 01:21:37,434
Allow me.
1409
01:21:39,769 --> 01:21:41,730
Baby, you know it's a bitching party.
1410
01:21:41,813 --> 01:21:43,982
The Stif-man always
comes through in a clutch, huh?
1411
01:21:44,065 --> 01:21:46,276
[rock music playing on stereo]
1412
01:21:48,403 --> 01:21:51,114
And then he just puked his brains out.
1413
01:21:51,197 --> 01:21:54,159
-That is a nasty story.
-Yep, I told you.
1414
01:21:54,242 --> 01:21:56,536
Do you want to hear a nasty story of mine?
1415
01:21:56,620 --> 01:21:58,538
It's sort of sexual.
1416
01:22:00,624 --> 01:22:03,084
Yeah! Yeah, let's hear it.
1417
01:22:03,168 --> 01:22:08,089
Okay, well, this one time at band camp,
we were playing this game.
1418
01:22:08,173 --> 01:22:11,635
I don't know if you know it,
but it's called "Spin the Bottle."
1419
01:22:11,718 --> 01:22:15,680
And I had to kiss this guy
named Mark Wander on the lips.
1420
01:22:15,764 --> 01:22:17,974
And... And he plays trombone...
1421
01:22:18,058 --> 01:22:19,893
So how do you want to be?
1422
01:22:20,769 --> 01:22:23,229
Like, how do you want to do it?
1423
01:22:24,356 --> 01:22:27,192
I don't know. How do you?
1424
01:22:27,442 --> 01:22:32,155
Like normal style.
The missionary position.
1425
01:22:34,950 --> 01:22:36,034
Okay.
1426
01:22:42,082 --> 01:22:43,333
Kev?
1427
01:22:44,042 --> 01:22:46,211
-Yeah?
-I wanna hear you say it.
1428
01:22:47,212 --> 01:22:48,296
Okay.
1429
01:22:51,591 --> 01:22:52,968
Victoria...
1430
01:22:54,719 --> 01:22:56,096
I love you.
1431
01:22:57,764 --> 01:22:59,140
I love you.
1432
01:23:26,209 --> 01:23:27,919
Oh. My hair.
1433
01:23:35,844 --> 01:23:37,137
You okay?
1434
01:23:38,179 --> 01:23:41,099
Yeah. Go slow.
1435
01:24:05,165 --> 01:24:08,043
So the end of the story is you
1436
01:24:08,126 --> 01:24:10,128
had to kiss the guy for 20 seconds.
1437
01:24:10,211 --> 01:24:14,466
Yes! And he was such a dork.
And everyone laughed at me,
1438
01:24:14,549 --> 01:24:16,843
but I didn't care because it was so funny.
1439
01:24:16,926 --> 01:24:18,511
I get it.
1440
01:24:18,595 --> 01:24:22,265
Oh, and this one time at band camp,
I stuck a flute in my pussy.
1441
01:24:22,390 --> 01:24:23,224
Hmm.
1442
01:24:25,685 --> 01:24:27,020
Excuse me?
1443
01:24:27,103 --> 01:24:29,773
What? You don't think
I know how to get myself off?
1444
01:24:29,856 --> 01:24:33,109
Hell, that's what
half of band camp is. Sex Ed.
1445
01:24:33,193 --> 01:24:34,944
So are we gonna screw soon?
1446
01:24:35,028 --> 01:24:36,863
'Cause I'm getting kind of antsy.
1447
01:24:45,288 --> 01:24:46,539
This'll do.
1448
01:24:46,623 --> 01:24:47,874
Whoo!
1449
01:24:48,917 --> 01:24:50,043
[toy squeaks]
1450
01:24:50,126 --> 01:24:51,169
Ow!
1451
01:24:53,505 --> 01:24:55,340
Now, I have two rubbers.
1452
01:24:55,423 --> 01:24:57,926
Wear them both. It'll desensitize you.
1453
01:24:58,176 --> 01:25:00,553
I don't want you coming
so damn early this time.
1454
01:25:02,722 --> 01:25:04,974
[scoffs] What makes you think
that I would come early?
1455
01:25:05,058 --> 01:25:07,268
Come on. I saw you on the Net.
1456
01:25:07,352 --> 01:25:09,270
Why do you think I accepted this date?
1457
01:25:09,395 --> 01:25:10,688
You're a sure thing.
1458
01:25:11,106 --> 01:25:11,940
[scoffs]
1459
01:25:14,275 --> 01:25:15,652
Yes, I am.
1460
01:25:17,403 --> 01:25:21,741
So I said, "This is very obviously
a Piero della Francesca."
1461
01:25:22,283 --> 01:25:23,118
[laughing]
1462
01:25:29,165 --> 01:25:34,838
So would you object
if I said that you were quite striking?
1463
01:25:36,089 --> 01:25:39,467
Mr. Finch, are you trying to seduce me?
1464
01:25:39,843 --> 01:25:41,469
Yes, ma'am, I am.
1465
01:25:56,818 --> 01:25:58,319
You're dead.
1466
01:26:36,482 --> 01:26:37,942
[Stifler's mom] I had no idea
you'd be this good.
1467
01:26:38,026 --> 01:26:41,196
-[Finch] Neither did I.
-Oh, Finchy. Finch.
1468
01:26:41,279 --> 01:26:44,240
-Oh, Stifler's mom, whoa!
-[gasping] Finchy!
1469
01:26:44,782 --> 01:26:45,617
[Jim exclaims]
1470
01:26:48,536 --> 01:26:50,205
[toy squeaking]
1471
01:26:52,749 --> 01:26:53,791
Okay, let's go.
1472
01:26:53,875 --> 01:26:56,127
What's my name? Say my name, bitch!
1473
01:26:56,211 --> 01:26:57,921
Michelle, Michelle.
1474
01:26:59,631 --> 01:27:00,757
[Jim] Oh, God.
1475
01:27:29,619 --> 01:27:31,287
That was a great night, huh?
1476
01:27:34,791 --> 01:27:35,792
Yeah.
1477
01:27:37,585 --> 01:27:40,880
I mean, I just can't believe
we had our senior prom.
1478
01:27:40,964 --> 01:27:42,173
I know.
1479
01:27:43,216 --> 01:27:44,968
It went by so fast.
1480
01:27:45,176 --> 01:27:46,636
Yeah, it did.
1481
01:27:47,762 --> 01:27:48,930
Kevin?
1482
01:27:54,102 --> 01:27:58,147
Next year, with you going
to Ann Arbor and me going to Ithaca,
1483
01:27:59,983 --> 01:28:02,235
it's not gonna work, is it?
1484
01:28:03,236 --> 01:28:06,322
No. Don't say that. I mean,
1485
01:28:06,406 --> 01:28:08,366
we could make it work.
1486
01:28:09,284 --> 01:28:11,661
It'll be perfect. No, Kevin.
1487
01:28:13,454 --> 01:28:14,497
-But--
-See,
1488
01:28:14,580 --> 01:28:15,748
that's what I've been realizing,
1489
01:28:15,832 --> 01:28:18,668
is that nothing's perfect.
1490
01:28:19,168 --> 01:28:21,587
And you can't plan everything.
1491
01:28:23,464 --> 01:28:27,051
Well, I guess you will be pretty far away.
1492
01:28:28,469 --> 01:28:31,347
And we'll be on our own,
meeting new people.
1493
01:28:35,810 --> 01:28:37,186
Last night, though...
1494
01:28:41,482 --> 01:28:42,775
I wasn't lying.
1495
01:28:45,486 --> 01:28:46,654
I know.
1496
01:29:03,212 --> 01:29:04,589
She's gone.
1497
01:29:06,883 --> 01:29:08,551
Oh, my God. She used me.
1498
01:29:09,052 --> 01:29:10,428
I was used.
1499
01:29:13,056 --> 01:29:14,432
I was used.
1500
01:29:15,099 --> 01:29:16,225
Cool!
1501
01:29:18,811 --> 01:29:20,480
[Stifler] Why is this door locked...
1502
01:29:20,563 --> 01:29:22,315
Mom, where's...
1503
01:29:24,233 --> 01:29:26,819
Mom? Shit-brick?
1504
01:29:27,070 --> 01:29:28,404
[Finch] Hey, Stifler.
1505
01:29:33,993 --> 01:29:36,329
You know, I just gotta say that women,
1506
01:29:37,622 --> 01:29:40,249
like a fine wine,
only get better with age.
1507
01:29:41,334 --> 01:29:44,170
Of course, I have no basis
for comparison, but...
1508
01:29:45,213 --> 01:29:46,631
it was good.
1509
01:29:47,131 --> 01:29:48,883
So you almost made it, huh, Oz?
1510
01:29:49,383 --> 01:29:51,719
I'll just say that
we had a great night together.
1511
01:29:51,803 --> 01:29:53,346
You hang in there, buddy.
1512
01:29:53,805 --> 01:29:55,056
You'll get there.
1513
01:29:55,348 --> 01:29:58,351
You know, guys,
I think we're falling in love.
1514
01:29:58,559 --> 01:29:59,393
[scoffs]
1515
01:30:00,645 --> 01:30:02,063
Wow.
1516
01:30:02,146 --> 01:30:04,482
Nah, that's great, man. That's awesome.
1517
01:30:05,775 --> 01:30:08,694
You know what the coolest thing is, guys?
1518
01:30:08,778 --> 01:30:11,239
It's this. You know, right now.
1519
01:30:11,322 --> 01:30:14,951
It's true. I mean, after this,
everything's gonna be different.
1520
01:30:15,034 --> 01:30:16,119
After getting laid?
1521
01:30:18,121 --> 01:30:19,705
[laughs] After high school.
1522
01:30:19,789 --> 01:30:21,124
Here's to the next step.
1523
01:30:21,207 --> 01:30:22,291
To the next step.
1524
01:30:22,375 --> 01:30:23,501
To the next step.
1525
01:30:23,584 --> 01:30:24,669
To the next step.
1526
01:30:42,812 --> 01:30:44,981
[upbeat music playing]
1527
01:31:14,510 --> 01:31:15,678
Sweetheart?
110621
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