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* MTV. *
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00:00:17,120 --> 00:00:18,400
Are you still here?
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You need to get going.
4
00:00:20,110 --> 00:00:23,110
I can't get going.
I told you I don't feel well.
5
00:00:23,310 --> 00:00:24,510
What's the matter now?
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00:00:24,710 --> 00:00:26,280
Oh, nothing, I just had
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00:00:26,480 --> 00:00:27,910
explosive fucking diarrhea
all night
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00:00:28,110 --> 00:00:30,480
because you decided
to get us KFC for dinner.
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00:00:30,680 --> 00:00:32,690
You have KFC all the time.
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00:00:32,890 --> 00:00:35,120
Yeah, and I have
diarrhea all the time!
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00:00:35,320 --> 00:00:38,690
You're not staying home all day
and playing Baldur's Gate 3.
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00:00:38,890 --> 00:00:42,230
- Now let's go.
- Ugh!
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00:00:42,430 --> 00:00:44,760
Have a good day at school,
sweetie.
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00:00:44,960 --> 00:00:46,380
Fuck you, Mom!
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00:00:49,220 --> 00:00:50,440
This is bullshit.
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00:00:50,640 --> 00:00:52,670
How do you get your mom arrested
for child abuse?
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00:00:52,870 --> 00:00:54,940
She wouldn't let you stay home
and play Baldur's Gate 3,
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00:00:55,140 --> 00:00:56,280
huh, fat ass?
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00:00:56,480 --> 00:00:58,510
Who you callin' fat,
you heathen bitch?
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00:00:58,710 --> 00:01:00,650
Dude, you don't wanna
miss school today.
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00:01:00,850 --> 00:01:03,850
Clyde said he's gonna fart
on Tammy Mullins during P.E.
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00:01:04,050 --> 00:01:06,120
Tammy Mullins has
sweet fucking knockers.
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00:01:06,320 --> 00:01:08,790
Dude, Kenny,
enough about Tammy's knockers!
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00:01:08,990 --> 00:01:10,260
You sound like
a white male trying to
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00:01:10,460 --> 00:01:11,990
re-establish the patriarchy.
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00:01:15,360 --> 00:01:16,530
Eric, it's okay.
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00:01:16,730 --> 00:01:18,960
- It's okay.
- Mom! Mom!
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00:01:19,160 --> 00:01:20,370
I had a dream that...
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00:01:20,570 --> 00:01:22,370
I was replaced
by a diverse woman!
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00:01:22,570 --> 00:01:23,800
Oh, not again.
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00:01:24,000 --> 00:01:26,140
Yeah, only this time,
it wasn't just me.
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They were taking all my favorite
people and replacing them
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with diverse women complaining
about the patriarchy.
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00:01:30,740 --> 00:01:32,380
Will you check
under the bed and make sure
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00:01:32,580 --> 00:01:34,080
there's no Disney executives
under there?
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00:01:34,280 --> 00:01:36,650
- I promise there's not.
- I'm scared, Mom!
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00:01:36,850 --> 00:01:38,550
Will you please just look
and make sure Kathleen Kennedy
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00:01:38,750 --> 00:01:40,040
isn't under my bed?
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00:01:40,970 --> 00:01:43,560
Kathleen Kennedy
is not under your bed.
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00:01:43,760 --> 00:01:44,920
Can you check the closet?
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00:01:45,120 --> 00:01:46,490
Eric, enough.
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00:01:46,690 --> 00:01:49,560
I've told you there's no such
thing as Disney executives
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who replace everyone you love
with diverse women
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00:01:51,800 --> 00:01:53,400
who complain
about the patriarchy.
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Now be a big boy.
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It's-it's not real.
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It's... it's not real.
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00:02:02,010 --> 00:02:03,990
* *
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Get up!
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Come on, Stan, get up.
Let's go.
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00:02:20,660 --> 00:02:21,660
- What, Dad?
- Downstairs.
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00:02:21,860 --> 00:02:23,650
Let's go.
I'm sick of this shit.
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00:02:26,620 --> 00:02:27,830
Okay.
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00:02:28,030 --> 00:02:29,700
It has come to my attention
lately that
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00:02:29,900 --> 00:02:33,640
young people today
don't know how to do shit.
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00:02:33,840 --> 00:02:36,610
You got your phones and your AI
and you kids haven't
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00:02:36,810 --> 00:02:38,910
learned to be able
to actually do anything.
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00:02:39,110 --> 00:02:40,680
So we're going
to take this morning to
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00:02:40,880 --> 00:02:43,980
learn how to fix something.
You see this?
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00:02:44,180 --> 00:02:47,120
See this?
The oven door isn't working.
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00:02:47,320 --> 00:02:49,790
It's falling off the hinges.
So what do we do?
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00:02:49,990 --> 00:02:51,110
Shelley?
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00:02:52,110 --> 00:02:53,460
I don't know.
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00:02:53,660 --> 00:02:54,730
It's very simple.
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00:02:54,930 --> 00:02:56,430
You gotta
make the hinges tighter
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00:02:56,630 --> 00:02:58,000
so the oven door's more secure.
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00:02:58,200 --> 00:03:01,400
So what you do is...
you take out your phone
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00:03:01,600 --> 00:03:04,070
and you call the handyman.
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00:03:06,100 --> 00:03:07,170
{\i1}Hello?
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00:03:07,370 --> 00:03:08,870
Hello. It's Randy Marsh.
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00:03:09,070 --> 00:03:12,650
My oven door is not working.
Please come fix it.
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00:03:12,850 --> 00:03:15,860
Now we rest
until the handyman comes.
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00:03:22,220 --> 00:03:24,660
Are you following this
at all, guys?
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00:03:24,860 --> 00:03:27,490
- Is this seeping in?
- Nope.
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00:03:27,690 --> 00:03:30,360
No, it looks like
the screws are totally stripped.
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00:03:30,560 --> 00:03:31,800
What does that mean?
What's wrong?
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00:03:32,000 --> 00:03:33,730
Can't get 'er fixed right now,
I gotta get
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00:03:33,930 --> 00:03:36,000
some different washers
at the Home Depot.
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00:03:36,200 --> 00:03:37,440
Okay, do that.
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00:03:37,640 --> 00:03:38,700
Can't do it right now,
I gotta get
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00:03:38,900 --> 00:03:40,510
over to Stephen Stotch's house
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00:03:40,710 --> 00:03:42,070
and install his closet shelves.
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00:03:42,270 --> 00:03:45,180
Okay, see, kids,
this happens sometimes
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00:03:45,380 --> 00:03:47,780
but handymen don't make a lot
of money, so here's what you do.
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00:03:47,980 --> 00:03:50,250
Oh, okay, I will pay you
an extra 30 bucks
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00:03:50,450 --> 00:03:51,980
if you fix my oven now.
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00:03:52,180 --> 00:03:55,390
Yeah, sorry, but Stotch already
gave me an extra 50 bucks.
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00:03:55,590 --> 00:03:58,060
I will pay you
an extra 55 bucks.
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00:03:58,260 --> 00:04:00,330
Randy, did you fix
the oven door yet?
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00:04:00,530 --> 00:04:02,300
I'm working on it!
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00:04:02,500 --> 00:04:03,630
Look, please.
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00:04:03,830 --> 00:04:05,230
Whatever you want.
I'll throw in a six-pack
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00:04:05,430 --> 00:04:06,770
of beer and you can get drunk.
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00:04:06,970 --> 00:04:08,830
I don't need your trivial
little perks anymore, Marsh.
95
00:04:09,030 --> 00:04:11,870
I got work comin'
out my ears. It's like...
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00:04:12,070 --> 00:04:13,570
I don't know,
it's like nobody knows
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00:04:13,770 --> 00:04:15,620
how to do shit anymore.
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00:04:16,460 --> 00:04:18,340
You're--
You're just gonna leave?
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00:04:18,540 --> 00:04:20,510
I'll pay a different handyman.
100
00:04:20,710 --> 00:04:21,810
Yeah, go for it, buddy,
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00:04:22,010 --> 00:04:24,330
I got so much money
I don't care.
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00:04:26,370 --> 00:04:28,100
What the hell is going on?
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00:04:28,870 --> 00:04:32,390
All right, just try to relax.
Take a deep breath.
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00:04:32,590 --> 00:04:36,800
Now tell me exactly
what it is you're afraid of.
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00:04:37,000 --> 00:04:39,800
I keep having the same dream.
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00:04:40,000 --> 00:04:41,900
Everywhere I look,
people are being replaced.
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00:04:42,100 --> 00:04:45,540
Okay. And who do you think
is going to have you replaced?
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00:04:45,740 --> 00:04:47,940
Them. The puppet masters.
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00:04:48,140 --> 00:04:50,510
The last time I had the dream,
I was, I was walking
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00:04:50,710 --> 00:04:52,210
down the school hallway...
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00:04:52,410 --> 00:04:54,780
* *
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00:04:54,980 --> 00:04:57,080
{\i1}And then I see Butters,
and he's like...
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00:04:57,280 --> 00:04:58,320
Hey, Eric! You wanna see
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00:04:58,520 --> 00:04:59,650
what my mom packed me for lunch?
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00:04:59,850 --> 00:05:01,190
{\i1}And that's when
I start to notice
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00:05:01,390 --> 00:05:02,620
{\i1}- that something's wrong.
- Everyone I cared about
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00:05:02,820 --> 00:05:04,120
{\i1}has been
systematically replaced.
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00:05:04,320 --> 00:05:05,760
{\i1}And finally I want to scream
and I'm like...
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00:05:05,960 --> 00:05:07,630
Why are they replacing
every single character
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00:05:07,830 --> 00:05:09,290
with someone who is diverse?
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00:05:09,500 --> 00:05:10,800
{\i1}- But then Kenny's like...
- It's not
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00:05:11,000 --> 00:05:12,300
our fault, it's 'cause of
Kathleen Kennedy.
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00:05:12,500 --> 00:05:13,600
{\i1}But then Kathleen Kennedy's
just like...
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00:05:13,800 --> 00:05:15,000
Fuck it! Make it more lame.
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00:05:15,200 --> 00:05:16,970
{\i1}{\i0}{\i1}And everyone in town is like,
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00:05:17,170 --> 00:05:18,840
{\i1}"No, please, Kathleen Kennedy,
stop ruining everything."
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00:05:19,040 --> 00:05:20,140
{\i1}But Kathleen Kennedy
is all like...
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00:05:20,340 --> 00:05:21,670
Put another gay diverse
woman in it.
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00:05:21,870 --> 00:05:23,480
Make it more fucking lame.
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00:05:23,680 --> 00:05:25,610
{\i1}And Disney stock just keeps
going down and down and down!
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00:05:25,810 --> 00:05:27,280
{\i1}And then Bob Iger is all like...
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00:05:27,480 --> 00:05:29,550
No! No!
What's going on with my stocks?
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00:05:29,750 --> 00:05:31,020
No, Kathleen Kennedy!
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00:05:34,170 --> 00:05:36,420
Oh. It happened again,
didn't it?
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00:05:36,620 --> 00:05:39,660
Okay, Eric, I think I know
what's going on here.
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00:05:39,860 --> 00:05:43,330
Your fears aren't about Disney
replacing everything you love.
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00:05:43,530 --> 00:05:47,930
What everyone is afraid of these
days is being replaced by AI.
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00:05:48,130 --> 00:05:49,470
- AI?
- But you don't need
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00:05:49,670 --> 00:05:51,070
to worry, Eric.
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00:05:51,270 --> 00:05:53,570
As long as you work hard
and stay in school,
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00:05:53,770 --> 00:05:55,210
you can make something
of yourself.
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00:05:55,410 --> 00:05:58,310
Become an elite worker like
I did that AI can't replace.
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00:05:58,510 --> 00:05:59,910
You're a therapist
and the best thing
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00:06:00,110 --> 00:06:01,210
you have to tell me is
"stay in school"?
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00:06:01,410 --> 00:06:03,950
You're in control
of your future, Eric.
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00:06:04,150 --> 00:06:05,850
You just need to ask yourself,
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00:06:06,050 --> 00:06:07,220
"Who will be the people
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00:06:07,420 --> 00:06:10,170
still making money
in the AI-driven future?"
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00:06:12,990 --> 00:06:14,710
What the-- What the fuck?
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00:06:20,170 --> 00:06:21,530
Could you hurry it up, please?
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00:06:21,730 --> 00:06:22,770
I kind of need to
get back to work.
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00:06:22,970 --> 00:06:24,070
Yep, well, looks like
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00:06:24,270 --> 00:06:25,840
you got a short
in the outlet there.
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00:06:26,040 --> 00:06:27,440
I'd have to get a new outlet
at Home Depot.
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00:06:27,640 --> 00:06:30,410
I can probably come
change it on the 28th.
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00:06:30,610 --> 00:06:32,380
28th? No, no, no, look.
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00:06:32,580 --> 00:06:34,680
I'll give a hundred bucks
to get this done today.
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00:06:34,880 --> 00:06:36,980
I already got a feller
giving me thousands
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00:06:37,180 --> 00:06:38,920
to fix his toilet
this afternoon.
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00:06:39,120 --> 00:06:41,490
Thousands?
I can't afford that.
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00:06:41,690 --> 00:06:42,990
Free therapy sessions.
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00:06:43,190 --> 00:06:45,360
How about we trade?
You do the handiwork for me.
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00:06:45,560 --> 00:06:47,690
And I'll give you five
free therapy sessions!
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00:06:47,890 --> 00:06:49,230
Oh, no, thanks.
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00:06:49,430 --> 00:06:53,950
I do all my therapy
on the AI Freudbot app.
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00:06:57,290 --> 00:07:00,110
{\i1}This is
South Park Breaking News.
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00:07:00,310 --> 00:07:02,270
Shocking developments
in the country today,
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00:07:02,470 --> 00:07:05,340
it appears that nobody
knows how to do shit anymore.
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00:07:05,540 --> 00:07:08,050
Our own Chris Martins
is live on the scene.
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00:07:08,250 --> 00:07:10,720
Tom, I'm standing in
my bathroom where the new
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00:07:10,920 --> 00:07:13,420
tile for my shower
has yet to be installed.
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00:07:13,620 --> 00:07:16,520
As you can see, the tile has
started to peel off in places.
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00:07:16,720 --> 00:07:20,090
Now the handyman was supposed
to come days ago to fix it
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00:07:20,290 --> 00:07:21,530
but he claims to have
better offers
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00:07:21,730 --> 00:07:23,130
from other white-collar workers
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00:07:23,330 --> 00:07:26,400
like me whose practical
know-how has atrophied.
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00:07:26,600 --> 00:07:28,600
It appears
we've all screwed ourselves
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00:07:28,800 --> 00:07:31,950
by relying on technology and AI.
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00:07:36,160 --> 00:07:37,880
Hey, Siri,
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00:07:38,080 --> 00:07:40,610
how do you fix
a broken oven door?
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00:07:40,810 --> 00:07:43,650
{\i1}Here's what I found
from reference.com.
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00:07:43,850 --> 00:07:46,920
{\i1}Undo any screws that
hold the hinges in position,
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00:07:47,120 --> 00:07:49,050
{\i1}pull the door upward
and then outwards
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00:07:49,250 --> 00:07:51,120
{\i1}to detach hinges from the oven.
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00:07:51,320 --> 00:07:53,160
{\i1}Insert the new hinge
into the hinge holes
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00:07:53,360 --> 00:07:56,030
{\i1}and secure the hinges
with screws.
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00:07:56,230 --> 00:08:00,370
Hey, Siri, okay,
can you do that for me?
188
00:08:00,570 --> 00:08:02,170
{\i1}Can I do what for you?
189
00:08:02,370 --> 00:08:04,470
Can you fix my oven door for me?
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00:08:04,670 --> 00:08:06,200
It's broken.
191
00:08:06,400 --> 00:08:10,010
{\i1}I cannot do that
because I do not have arms.
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00:08:10,210 --> 00:08:12,140
{\i1}You will need
to call a handyman.
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00:08:12,340 --> 00:08:14,580
The handyman isn't available.
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00:08:14,780 --> 00:08:16,250
He's all, like, rich now
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00:08:16,450 --> 00:08:19,180
and I fucking rely on him to
keep everything working here!
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00:08:19,380 --> 00:08:21,950
{\i1}I am unable to fix an oven door.
197
00:08:22,150 --> 00:08:25,460
Oh, well, hey, Siri,
I thought AI was supposed to be
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00:08:25,660 --> 00:08:29,160
this amazing scary advancement
that could, like, do anything.
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00:08:29,360 --> 00:08:31,060
Hey, Randy,
the oven door in the kitchen
200
00:08:31,260 --> 00:08:33,050
- still isn't--
- I am working on it!
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00:08:33,880 --> 00:08:36,430
Hey, Siri,
all the handymen are rich
202
00:08:36,640 --> 00:08:39,940
and I can't afford them anymore
so what do I do?
203
00:08:40,140 --> 00:08:42,440
{\i1}Perhaps you could find
an unlicensed worker
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00:08:42,640 --> 00:08:45,380
{\i1}who does small day jobs
for cash.
205
00:08:45,580 --> 00:08:47,880
You mean like those
broke-ass illegal immigrants
206
00:08:48,080 --> 00:08:49,850
down at Home Depot?
207
00:08:50,050 --> 00:08:51,920
I'm sorry, I shouldn't
have said it that way.
208
00:08:52,120 --> 00:08:54,090
Hey, Siri, you mean like those
209
00:08:54,290 --> 00:08:56,690
broke-ass illegal immigrants
down at Home Depot?
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00:08:56,890 --> 00:08:59,630
{\i1}Yes. There are often
people sitting out front
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00:08:59,830 --> 00:09:02,700
{\i1}of Home Depot
waiting to be hired for work.
212
00:09:02,900 --> 00:09:05,350
Yeah. Those guys!
213
00:09:10,420 --> 00:09:11,970
Hey, Kenny, can we talk to you?
214
00:09:12,170 --> 00:09:13,440
Sure, guys, what's up?
215
00:09:13,640 --> 00:09:15,570
Well, Clyde says that you
told Tammy Mullins
216
00:09:15,770 --> 00:09:18,040
he was gonna fart on her in P.E.
so she didn't show up.
217
00:09:18,240 --> 00:09:20,080
Yeah, I might have told her.
218
00:09:20,280 --> 00:09:21,750
Well, Kenny, everyone was really
looking forward to that.
219
00:09:21,950 --> 00:09:23,080
Why did you ruin it?
220
00:09:23,280 --> 00:09:24,650
I told you guys
I think Tammy Mullins
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00:09:24,850 --> 00:09:27,550
- has sweet fucking knockers.
- You guys!
222
00:09:27,750 --> 00:09:30,720
You guys! Something super crazy
is happening, you guys.
223
00:09:30,920 --> 00:09:32,120
You went on a diet?
224
00:09:32,320 --> 00:09:33,760
This is serious, Kyle!
225
00:09:33,960 --> 00:09:35,260
At first they were just dreams,
226
00:09:35,460 --> 00:09:37,500
but now I feel like
I'm actually changing.
227
00:09:37,700 --> 00:09:40,200
Why would I be having visions
that I'm a diverse woman?
228
00:09:40,400 --> 00:09:42,200
Because you're a fat,
racist piece of shit.
229
00:09:42,400 --> 00:09:44,600
Goddamn it, I'm not fat.
I'm just shamed for my body
230
00:09:44,800 --> 00:09:46,370
in a world where white men
decide what's beautiful.
231
00:09:46,570 --> 00:09:48,740
What the fuck was that?!
232
00:09:48,940 --> 00:09:51,810
Why would I say that?
I don't say that. You see?!
233
00:09:52,010 --> 00:09:54,210
This is happening
to all of us, you guys.
234
00:09:54,410 --> 00:09:55,980
You might think
everything is okay.
235
00:09:56,180 --> 00:09:58,750
But Disney... is gonna get ya.
236
00:09:58,950 --> 00:10:00,520
Kathleen Kennedy's
gonna get ya.
237
00:10:00,720 --> 00:10:03,360
Disney and Kathleen Kennedy
are gonna get ya!
238
00:10:05,360 --> 00:10:07,830
I don't think that what
I'm experiencing are dreams.
239
00:10:08,030 --> 00:10:09,800
I think that what
I'm seeing are windows...
240
00:10:10,000 --> 00:10:11,960
into alternate universes.
241
00:10:12,160 --> 00:10:13,580
Yeah, okay, I'm out.
242
00:10:14,350 --> 00:10:15,530
It's true, Kyle, there could be
243
00:10:15,730 --> 00:10:17,270
other universes
with other versions of--
244
00:10:17,470 --> 00:10:19,070
Everyone's sick of
the stupid multiverse, Cartman.
245
00:10:19,270 --> 00:10:21,140
It's not stupid,
it's totally possible
246
00:10:21,340 --> 00:10:22,740
and if you can't--
247
00:10:22,940 --> 00:10:24,340
Kyle? Kyle?
248
00:10:24,540 --> 00:10:26,380
I swear, the multiverse is
just an excuse for lazy writing.
249
00:10:26,580 --> 00:10:28,450
- Whoa. Kyle!
- Yeah, it's like
every damn movie now.
250
00:10:28,650 --> 00:10:29,750
Kyle, what is this?
251
00:10:29,950 --> 00:10:31,850
Uh, you might
wanna listen to him, Kyle!
252
00:10:32,050 --> 00:10:33,620
Kyle, you gotta help me!
253
00:10:33,820 --> 00:10:34,690
Help me, Kyle!
254
00:10:51,290 --> 00:10:53,070
Hey!
255
00:10:53,270 --> 00:10:54,470
Hey, I need a worker!
256
00:10:54,670 --> 00:10:56,470
- Is that a handyman?
- There's one!
257
00:10:56,670 --> 00:10:57,980
Hey, you wanna trade?
258
00:10:58,180 --> 00:10:59,340
What the fuck?
259
00:10:59,540 --> 00:11:01,310
Randy! You know how
to do stuff, right?
260
00:11:01,510 --> 00:11:02,580
I gotta get the radiant heat
261
00:11:02,780 --> 00:11:04,080
installed in my house
and I'm offering
262
00:11:04,280 --> 00:11:05,920
free legal advice in exchange.
263
00:11:06,120 --> 00:11:07,520
You need a reporter?
264
00:11:07,720 --> 00:11:09,960
I'll report the news to you
if you fix my shower tile!
265
00:11:10,160 --> 00:11:12,320
How about a computer programmer?
I can do coding!
266
00:11:12,520 --> 00:11:14,060
Insurance broker?
Insurance broker?
267
00:11:14,260 --> 00:11:15,690
What the hell are
you guys doing here?
268
00:11:15,890 --> 00:11:18,030
We're trying to get
a handyman to do stuff for us.
269
00:11:18,230 --> 00:11:20,170
You know how to
install radiant heat or not?
270
00:11:20,370 --> 00:11:23,800
No, I need some broke-ass
immigrants to fix my oven door.
271
00:11:24,000 --> 00:11:25,270
Dang it.
272
00:11:25,470 --> 00:11:27,620
Hey! Here comes
a different handyman!
273
00:11:28,890 --> 00:11:32,710
Hey, anyone wanna
make a bunch of money?
274
00:11:32,910 --> 00:11:35,830
I need four workers who know
how to use a power saw.
275
00:11:36,770 --> 00:11:39,420
I'll do lawyer work if
you install my radiant heat!
276
00:11:39,620 --> 00:11:41,250
I've got skills
in human resources.
277
00:11:41,450 --> 00:11:42,650
Let's work something out!
278
00:11:42,860 --> 00:11:46,270
No, I need guys that know
how to work a power saw.
279
00:11:47,840 --> 00:11:51,650
None of you know how to
work a power saw? Jesus Christ.
280
00:11:54,380 --> 00:11:56,580
What universe is this?
281
00:12:06,630 --> 00:12:09,250
Yo, Kenny, we gotta
ask you something.
282
00:12:09,450 --> 00:12:12,120
Are you, like,
in love with Tammy Mullins?
283
00:12:12,320 --> 00:12:14,720
I'm not in love with her,
I just like her knockers.
284
00:12:14,920 --> 00:12:17,190
Okay, well, why would you
protect someone from getting
285
00:12:17,390 --> 00:12:19,890
farted on unless there
were some real feelings there?
286
00:12:20,090 --> 00:12:22,090
Dude, I said I was sorry, okay?
287
00:12:22,290 --> 00:12:23,630
You guys! You guys!
288
00:12:23,830 --> 00:12:26,660
Something really weird
is going on!
289
00:12:26,870 --> 00:12:29,530
I keep having the same dream
that I'm a fat little white boy.
290
00:12:29,730 --> 00:12:32,270
You ain't white,
but you definitely fat.
291
00:12:32,470 --> 00:12:33,840
This is serious, Kyle!
292
00:12:34,040 --> 00:12:37,080
It's more than a dream,
it's becoming like real now!
293
00:12:37,280 --> 00:12:38,580
I keep seeing all of you!
294
00:12:38,780 --> 00:12:40,650
Being replaced by
little white motherfuckers!
295
00:12:40,850 --> 00:12:43,320
Well, maybe you should try
not being so racist, Cartman.
296
00:12:43,520 --> 00:12:45,550
You can't be racist
towards white people, Stan!
297
00:12:45,750 --> 00:12:48,790
They all honky-ass bitches!
You know what this is?
298
00:12:48,990 --> 00:12:51,840
I think this is some
alternate universe shit.
299
00:12:52,670 --> 00:12:54,660
Yeah, right, you just
acting crazy 'cause you wanna
300
00:12:54,860 --> 00:12:57,460
- get sent home from school.
- No, I'm not, Kyle!
301
00:12:57,660 --> 00:12:59,260
Yeah, bitch, you just
wanna get sent home
302
00:12:59,460 --> 00:13:01,470
so you can play Baldur's Gate 3.
303
00:13:09,360 --> 00:13:11,680
What the fuck?
304
00:13:11,880 --> 00:13:13,580
Oh, my God, it's all real!
305
00:13:13,780 --> 00:13:16,650
Whatever you're doing,
Cartman, we ain't buyin' it.
306
00:13:16,850 --> 00:13:19,480
Stay away from me! You aren't
my friends! Do you understand?
307
00:13:19,680 --> 00:13:21,950
Is that supposed to be Cartman?
308
00:13:22,150 --> 00:13:23,660
It ain't Cartman
but it's still fat.
309
00:13:23,860 --> 00:13:25,520
Just more like
little round and fat.
310
00:13:25,720 --> 00:13:27,560
Yeah, like Tammy Mullins'
knockers.
311
00:13:27,760 --> 00:13:28,860
Kenny! Brah.
312
00:13:29,060 --> 00:13:31,030
Chill with the knockers. Man!
313
00:13:31,230 --> 00:13:33,370
No...
314
00:13:33,570 --> 00:13:35,780
No...!
315
00:13:39,600 --> 00:13:41,540
Okay, so Clyde says he
can probably try to fart
316
00:13:41,740 --> 00:13:43,310
on Tammy Mullins again
during fourth period.
317
00:13:43,510 --> 00:13:45,240
But this time Kenny
has to keep his mouth shut.
318
00:13:45,440 --> 00:13:47,450
It's fine!
I won't say anything, fine!
319
00:13:47,650 --> 00:13:49,610
He's gonna say something,
he's totally in love with her.
320
00:13:49,810 --> 00:13:52,680
- No, I'm not!
- You guys! You guys!
321
00:13:52,880 --> 00:13:54,850
Holy shit, you guys,
I fuckin' told you!
322
00:13:55,050 --> 00:13:57,640
I fuckin' told you this
was happening, didn't I?
323
00:13:58,610 --> 00:13:59,690
Told us what was happening?
324
00:13:59,890 --> 00:14:01,390
I told you I was having
all these dreams
325
00:14:01,590 --> 00:14:02,930
that I was a fat
little white boy
326
00:14:03,130 --> 00:14:04,900
and you guys were all
white boys too and now look!
327
00:14:05,100 --> 00:14:06,680
Y'all actually turned into 'em!
328
00:14:07,480 --> 00:14:09,730
- Do we know you?
- I'm Cartman.
329
00:14:09,930 --> 00:14:12,640
And you're Kyle and you're Stan
and you're fucking Kenny.
330
00:14:12,840 --> 00:14:14,470
Only it's a parallel,
alternated universe
331
00:14:14,670 --> 00:14:15,910
and y'all have been replaced.
332
00:14:16,110 --> 00:14:18,040
Uh, okay, cool lady.
333
00:14:18,240 --> 00:14:19,810
We gotta get to class.
334
00:14:20,010 --> 00:14:21,450
Oh, no! No, no, no, no, no!
335
00:14:21,650 --> 00:14:23,180
You guys are gonna
listen to me this time!
336
00:14:23,380 --> 00:14:25,150
I need help!
337
00:14:25,350 --> 00:14:27,090
Cartman's just messing with us.
338
00:14:27,290 --> 00:14:28,320
Fuck you, Kyle!
339
00:14:28,520 --> 00:14:29,850
This is serious,
you fuckin' butt-fucker!
340
00:14:30,060 --> 00:14:32,720
Yeah, listen, lady,
we really gotta get going.
341
00:14:32,920 --> 00:14:35,930
Will you guys fucking
listen to me?! I'm Cartman!
342
00:14:36,130 --> 00:14:38,960
You're not Cartman and
multiple universes are stupid.
343
00:14:39,160 --> 00:14:41,520
Oh, goddamn it!
344
00:14:43,450 --> 00:14:45,700
Tom, I'm still here
live at the scene.
345
00:14:45,900 --> 00:14:48,410
Dozens of white-collar workers
are gathered hoping
346
00:14:48,610 --> 00:14:51,210
to get the attention of
just one handyman.
347
00:14:51,410 --> 00:14:53,780
It's a scene
of desperation and a reminder
348
00:14:53,980 --> 00:14:56,700
of where our
country's economy is headed.
349
00:14:59,300 --> 00:15:02,700
Hey! Hey, hey, hey!
350
00:15:04,040 --> 00:15:06,490
Hey, hey! Excuse me,
you're a handyman, right?
351
00:15:06,690 --> 00:15:09,030
Can I get you to come look
at my oven door?
352
00:15:09,230 --> 00:15:10,660
I can trade you services.
353
00:15:10,860 --> 00:15:14,070
I have geology skills.
Could you come fix my door
354
00:15:14,270 --> 00:15:15,800
and I'll give you some geology?
355
00:15:16,000 --> 00:15:18,900
Hey, why don't you guys
get outta here?
356
00:15:19,100 --> 00:15:22,260
You're making the Home Depot
look all shitty.
357
00:15:24,060 --> 00:15:26,080
Fuckin' rich assholes.
358
00:15:26,280 --> 00:15:27,780
Ugh, sucks.
359
00:15:27,980 --> 00:15:28,950
Aw, man.
360
00:15:29,150 --> 00:15:31,380
Boy, I wish
I knew how to fix stuff.
361
00:15:31,580 --> 00:15:32,580
I'd be rich, too.
362
00:15:32,780 --> 00:15:34,850
I could know how to fix stuff!
363
00:15:35,050 --> 00:15:36,850
The problem is
when I could have been learning
364
00:15:37,060 --> 00:15:40,130
how to fix stuff, I went
to fucking college instead!
365
00:15:40,330 --> 00:15:41,560
Hey, yeah, he's right.
366
00:15:41,760 --> 00:15:44,260
We all went to college,
and where did it get us?
367
00:15:44,460 --> 00:15:46,660
Yeah, I'm still paying off
my college loans.
368
00:15:46,860 --> 00:15:49,670
Yeah, so am I! Now I don't
know how to do anything
369
00:15:49,870 --> 00:15:52,440
'cause I got suckered into going
to college and learning stupid
370
00:15:52,640 --> 00:15:55,510
geology that anyone can know
'cause of goddamn AI!
371
00:15:55,710 --> 00:15:56,810
Yeah, fuck college!
372
00:15:57,010 --> 00:15:58,480
Let's go
get our fucking money back!
373
00:15:58,680 --> 00:16:00,780
- Yeah!
- Yeah! Fuck college!
374
00:16:00,980 --> 00:16:02,800
Come on, let's go!
375
00:16:06,550 --> 00:16:08,790
- Stupid college!
- You wasted our time!
376
00:16:08,990 --> 00:16:12,020
- Fuck you, college!
- Piece of shit college!
377
00:16:12,220 --> 00:16:13,530
Hey-hey, college!
378
00:16:13,730 --> 00:16:15,960
You know what you are?!
You're a scam!
379
00:16:16,160 --> 00:16:17,230
College is a scam!
380
00:16:17,430 --> 00:16:19,230
Yeah!
381
00:16:19,430 --> 00:16:20,500
Yeah, that's right!
382
00:16:20,700 --> 00:16:21,630
Yeah, hey, college!
383
00:16:21,830 --> 00:16:23,270
Here's my student loan bill.
384
00:16:23,470 --> 00:16:25,200
That I'm still paying off!
385
00:16:25,400 --> 00:16:27,720
Well, guess what,
I'm not paying it!
386
00:16:28,490 --> 00:16:30,540
- Yeah!
- We don't owe you nothing!
387
00:16:30,740 --> 00:16:32,410
Guess what, college?!
388
00:16:32,610 --> 00:16:35,880
We don't owe you money,
you owe us money!
389
00:16:36,080 --> 00:16:37,180
Yeah!
390
00:16:37,380 --> 00:16:40,300
Yeah, that's right!
391
00:16:41,140 --> 00:16:43,120
You think you can
just sit there and not even
392
00:16:43,320 --> 00:16:45,790
respond to us, college?
Okay!
393
00:16:45,990 --> 00:16:48,530
You aren't going to destroy
any more lives!
394
00:16:48,730 --> 00:16:50,260
All right, bring in
the catapult.
395
00:16:50,460 --> 00:16:51,900
Bring in the catapult!
396
00:16:52,100 --> 00:16:52,960
Yeah!
397
00:16:53,170 --> 00:16:54,330
Yeah, that's right!
398
00:16:59,690 --> 00:17:02,890
- What's that?
- That's the catapult.
399
00:17:03,860 --> 00:17:05,780
Well, but it's still in the box.
400
00:17:05,980 --> 00:17:08,280
Yeah, somebody's
gotta put it together.
401
00:17:08,480 --> 00:17:10,150
Well, how are we gonna...
402
00:17:10,350 --> 00:17:11,550
Hang on, college!
403
00:17:11,750 --> 00:17:12,850
How're we gonna
break the college if
404
00:17:13,050 --> 00:17:14,490
the catapult is still
in the box?
405
00:17:14,690 --> 00:17:16,120
It's okay,
we called the handyman.
406
00:17:16,320 --> 00:17:18,370
He's gonna build it for us.
407
00:17:24,210 --> 00:17:27,030
Hello, gentlemen, what
seems to be the problem?
408
00:17:27,230 --> 00:17:28,700
Oh! Oh!
409
00:17:28,900 --> 00:17:30,500
You said
you couldn't work today.
410
00:17:30,700 --> 00:17:32,440
You're supposed
to fix my oven door!
411
00:17:32,640 --> 00:17:34,210
I've got a lot of jobs there,
buddy.
412
00:17:34,410 --> 00:17:35,610
This one paid the most today.
413
00:17:35,810 --> 00:17:38,140
We all pooled together
and offered him $20,000.
414
00:17:38,340 --> 00:17:39,810
$20,000?
415
00:17:40,010 --> 00:17:41,480
What the fuck
are you guys doing?!
416
00:17:41,680 --> 00:17:44,030
You're gonna make him
totally impossible now!
417
00:17:46,480 --> 00:17:48,690
All right, send Broflovski,
Marsh and McKormick
418
00:17:48,890 --> 00:17:50,870
into my office, please.
419
00:17:52,070 --> 00:17:53,160
Aw, what the hell?
420
00:17:53,360 --> 00:17:54,690
Sit down, boys.
One of our students here
421
00:17:54,890 --> 00:17:56,190
says you've been
treating them unfairly.
422
00:17:56,390 --> 00:17:59,200
- Treating who unfairly?
- We didn't do anything!
423
00:17:59,400 --> 00:18:00,830
We're just minding
our own business
424
00:18:01,030 --> 00:18:02,650
and she keeps saying
she's Eric Cartman!
425
00:18:03,690 --> 00:18:05,790
Okay. And what's
wrong with that?
426
00:18:07,520 --> 00:18:09,840
What's wrong is it
doesn't make any sense.
427
00:18:10,040 --> 00:18:11,440
Okay, I see.
428
00:18:11,640 --> 00:18:13,110
There's a diverse female
where Cartman used to be
429
00:18:13,310 --> 00:18:14,410
and you don't like that.
430
00:18:14,610 --> 00:18:16,510
It's not that we
don't like it, it's...
431
00:18:16,710 --> 00:18:17,820
don't you think that's weird?
432
00:18:18,020 --> 00:18:19,620
I don't see
a problem with it at all.
433
00:18:19,820 --> 00:18:21,420
And if you boys don't think
Eric can be a Black woman,
434
00:18:21,620 --> 00:18:23,640
then maybe the problem is you.
435
00:18:24,910 --> 00:18:25,790
What?
436
00:18:25,990 --> 00:18:27,060
You think it's perfectly normal
437
00:18:27,260 --> 00:18:28,830
that Cartman
is suddenly a Black woman?
438
00:18:29,030 --> 00:18:30,260
You probably don't like
that Indiana Jones got replaced
439
00:18:30,460 --> 00:18:31,900
by a female either, huh?
440
00:18:32,100 --> 00:18:34,070
You probably have a problem
with Black Spider-Man, too.
441
00:18:34,270 --> 00:18:35,770
No! Miles Morales is sweet.
442
00:18:35,970 --> 00:18:37,070
That's a whole constructed thing
443
00:18:37,270 --> 00:18:38,670
with its own character
and narrative!
444
00:18:38,870 --> 00:18:41,770
This is just taking Cartman,
same old Cartman,
445
00:18:41,970 --> 00:18:43,680
and putting a Black woman in it.
446
00:18:43,880 --> 00:18:45,810
Well, you know what I think
about that, Kyle?
447
00:18:46,010 --> 00:18:47,080
Hold on. Hold on.
448
00:18:48,750 --> 00:18:50,180
That's what I think
about that, Kyle!
449
00:18:50,380 --> 00:18:51,520
Goddamn it, Cartman!
450
00:18:51,720 --> 00:18:53,220
Dude, what the fuck
is going on?!
451
00:18:53,420 --> 00:18:54,950
I'll tell you what's going on.
452
00:18:55,150 --> 00:18:56,820
You boys feel that your white
culture is being threatened
453
00:18:57,020 --> 00:18:58,620
and so you're
lashing out with racism.
454
00:18:58,820 --> 00:19:00,490
And if you
say anything more about
455
00:19:00,690 --> 00:19:02,190
a Black woman Cartman
not making any sense,
456
00:19:02,390 --> 00:19:04,200
then you can all just have
three weeks' detention!
457
00:19:04,400 --> 00:19:05,630
Now get out of my office!
458
00:19:05,830 --> 00:19:07,400
Goddamn it!
459
00:19:07,600 --> 00:19:09,270
Fuck you, Kyle.
You have to help me!
460
00:19:09,470 --> 00:19:11,340
How's that fart feeling
on your face right now?
461
00:19:11,540 --> 00:19:12,700
Shut up!
462
00:19:12,900 --> 00:19:15,890
Na-na-na-na-na.
Heh-heh-heh-heh-heh-heh.
463
00:19:25,320 --> 00:19:27,920
And we both told Clyde,
"Okay, you can try to fart
464
00:19:28,120 --> 00:19:29,890
on Tammy Mullins later.
Kenny won't tell her."
465
00:19:30,090 --> 00:19:32,720
And guess what? This little
motherfucker does it again!
466
00:19:32,920 --> 00:19:35,160
I'm sorry.
She hypnotized me.
467
00:19:35,360 --> 00:19:36,860
Everyone's trying
to enjoy themselves, dude.
468
00:19:37,060 --> 00:19:38,900
Why do you keep fucking it up?
469
00:19:39,100 --> 00:19:40,700
Hey, who's the fat
little white boy?
470
00:19:40,900 --> 00:19:42,800
Who knows?
White heterosexual males
471
00:19:43,000 --> 00:19:44,500
think they're welcome anywhere.
472
00:19:47,640 --> 00:19:50,110
Okay, children,
let's take our seats.
473
00:19:50,310 --> 00:19:53,180
Today we're going to
talk more about female exclusion
474
00:19:53,380 --> 00:19:54,750
in the male patriarchy.
475
00:19:56,750 --> 00:19:59,650
Uh, Butters,
who is that sitting next to you?
476
00:19:59,850 --> 00:20:00,890
Oh, I don't know, ma'am.
477
00:20:01,090 --> 00:20:03,090
I think it's
supposed to be Eric.
478
00:20:03,290 --> 00:20:04,690
I am Eric!
479
00:20:04,890 --> 00:20:06,920
All Cartman cares about
is playing Baldur's Gate 3.
480
00:20:07,120 --> 00:20:09,130
So the bitch did a switcheroo
with Spanky here.
481
00:20:09,330 --> 00:20:10,760
That is not what's going on!
482
00:20:10,960 --> 00:20:13,030
And I am not going to sit here
and be insulted anymore!
483
00:20:13,230 --> 00:20:14,770
I am a respected citizen
in my universe
484
00:20:14,970 --> 00:20:17,100
and I demand to speak to
someone with authority!
485
00:20:17,300 --> 00:20:20,760
Is there a problem here?
486
00:20:22,020 --> 00:20:24,860
No!
487
00:20:29,660 --> 00:20:31,050
Eight years.
488
00:20:31,250 --> 00:20:34,050
Eight years I spent
wasting time at stupid college
489
00:20:34,250 --> 00:20:36,120
when I could have been
learning how to do stuff.
490
00:20:36,320 --> 00:20:39,520
All the time we spent
memorizing, studying-- for what?
491
00:20:39,720 --> 00:20:42,960
Anyone gets any info they want
with the touch of a button now.
492
00:20:43,160 --> 00:20:45,560
All right,
I think she's ready to go.
493
00:20:45,760 --> 00:20:47,670
It's ready! It's ready!
494
00:20:47,870 --> 00:20:50,600
Okay, okay, aim it
at the center of the school.
495
00:20:50,800 --> 00:20:52,100
How do we fire it?
496
00:20:52,300 --> 00:20:54,210
There's a big red button here.
Should I press it?
497
00:20:54,410 --> 00:20:56,090
Yeah, yeah, let 'er rip!
498
00:21:03,030 --> 00:21:04,850
Yeah! Yeah!
499
00:21:05,050 --> 00:21:07,420
Yeah, take that, college!
500
00:21:07,620 --> 00:21:09,150
Let's see them ignore that!
501
00:21:09,350 --> 00:21:11,520
I can't wait
to see what they do now.
502
00:21:11,720 --> 00:21:13,630
- Yeah!
- Yeah!
503
00:21:13,830 --> 00:21:15,240
Hey-hey, wait, what's that?
504
00:21:20,780 --> 00:21:23,280
Hey! Hey, no,
you son of a bitch!
505
00:21:24,750 --> 00:21:27,170
He's just gonna fix the glass!
506
00:21:27,370 --> 00:21:28,640
Ugh!
507
00:21:28,840 --> 00:21:29,970
You fucking give these
billionaires your money
508
00:21:30,170 --> 00:21:31,510
and then another billionaire
just comes
509
00:21:31,710 --> 00:21:33,280
and profits off of that.
510
00:21:33,480 --> 00:21:35,730
Society is so fucked up!
511
00:21:42,570 --> 00:21:44,820
Something is
wrong with the universe.
512
00:21:45,020 --> 00:21:46,620
Our stocks are down
and every Disney movie
513
00:21:46,820 --> 00:21:48,290
this year has failed!
514
00:21:48,490 --> 00:21:49,930
We don't understand it, sir.
515
00:21:50,130 --> 00:21:52,200
We keep making
the same movie over and over
516
00:21:52,400 --> 00:21:55,330
and pandering to everyone
but suddenly it's not working.
517
00:21:55,530 --> 00:21:57,770
Then we've got to pander harder!
518
00:21:57,970 --> 00:22:00,140
Look, I don't want
to have to say it, but...
519
00:22:00,340 --> 00:22:03,190
I think the problem is
Kathleen Kennedy.
520
00:22:04,630 --> 00:22:07,350
Kathleen Kennedy has
made studios a lot of money.
521
00:22:07,550 --> 00:22:10,950
Yes, before. But you have
to admit something's changed.
522
00:22:11,150 --> 00:22:13,520
For weeks now she's been
completely different.
523
00:22:13,720 --> 00:22:16,020
- It's true.
- What if...
524
00:22:16,220 --> 00:22:19,010
this is a different
Kathleen Kennedy?
525
00:22:20,740 --> 00:22:21,790
What are you saying, Rick?
526
00:22:21,990 --> 00:22:23,800
I'm just saying
isn't it possible
527
00:22:24,000 --> 00:22:26,460
that we here
at Disney pandered so much...
528
00:22:26,660 --> 00:22:30,020
that we've opened a doorway
to the panderverse.
529
00:22:30,820 --> 00:22:32,470
The panderverse
is just a theory!
530
00:22:32,670 --> 00:22:35,570
And yet we do have
the panderstone downstairs.
531
00:22:35,770 --> 00:22:39,010
It's possible that someone
has tampered with it somehow.
532
00:22:39,210 --> 00:22:40,910
Well, she's on her way in
right now.
533
00:22:41,110 --> 00:22:43,080
If you wanna tell
Kathleen Kennedy you think
534
00:22:43,280 --> 00:22:44,750
she's from
an alternate universe,
535
00:22:44,950 --> 00:22:47,790
because we misused
the panderstone, go right ahead!
536
00:22:56,810 --> 00:22:58,710
Is there a problem, people?
537
00:23:00,480 --> 00:23:01,970
No problem at all, Mrs. Kennedy.
538
00:23:02,170 --> 00:23:03,900
We were just discussing ideas
539
00:23:04,100 --> 00:23:05,770
of what to do with
the new Prince Eric movie.
540
00:23:05,970 --> 00:23:07,940
Put a chick in it, make her gay!
541
00:23:08,140 --> 00:23:12,440
Uh, yes, Mrs. Kennedy,
uh, some of the execs are just
542
00:23:12,640 --> 00:23:15,150
- expressing that maybe--
- Well, that maybe we should go
543
00:23:15,350 --> 00:23:17,620
a different route than we did
with Indiana Jones.
544
00:23:17,820 --> 00:23:18,980
Fuck Indiana Jones!
545
00:23:19,180 --> 00:23:21,240
Put a chick in it
and make her lame and gay!
546
00:23:23,200 --> 00:23:24,290
Sure. Yeah.
547
00:23:24,490 --> 00:23:27,240
Let's try that... again.
548
00:23:28,780 --> 00:23:30,930
* *
549
00:23:34,350 --> 00:23:36,900
And then... and then there was,
like, this ball
550
00:23:37,100 --> 00:23:38,470
and then Eric floated up
551
00:23:38,670 --> 00:23:40,100
into this portal
and disappeared!
552
00:23:40,300 --> 00:23:41,740
I don't care
what you saw, Butters,
553
00:23:41,940 --> 00:23:42,970
there's gotta be
a better explanation
554
00:23:43,170 --> 00:23:44,880
than just the stupid multiverse.
555
00:23:45,080 --> 00:23:46,580
Some multiverse stuff is cool.
556
00:23:46,780 --> 00:23:48,250
Yeah, it can be cool for,
like, one movie.
557
00:23:48,450 --> 00:23:49,980
Now it's just this
cheap device that people use
558
00:23:50,180 --> 00:23:52,020
to breathe life
into tired franchises.
559
00:23:52,220 --> 00:23:54,240
What are you guys talking about?
560
00:23:55,500 --> 00:23:59,160
Uh, we were just talking about
how amazing this all is.
561
00:23:59,360 --> 00:24:00,790
Okay, I've been trying to think
562
00:24:00,990 --> 00:24:02,230
about what we should do,
you guys.
563
00:24:02,430 --> 00:24:03,930
I think I know
how to make everything right,
564
00:24:04,130 --> 00:24:05,660
but we're gonna need
a really powerful computer.
565
00:24:05,860 --> 00:24:07,100
Are you gonna eat
your brownie, Kenny?
566
00:24:07,300 --> 00:24:08,630
Yeah, I'm gonna eat my brownie!
567
00:24:08,830 --> 00:24:10,740
Okay, fine, so we'll take you
to the computer lab.
568
00:24:10,940 --> 00:24:12,000
No, no, no, no, for this,
569
00:24:12,200 --> 00:24:13,540
we gotta get
a really powerful system.
570
00:24:13,740 --> 00:24:16,110
Is Kyle's mom still a big
fat bitch in this universe?
571
00:24:16,310 --> 00:24:18,210
What? My mom's not a bitch.
572
00:24:18,410 --> 00:24:20,440
Well, I mean,
she is kind of bitchy.
573
00:24:20,650 --> 00:24:21,980
She's a big dumb bitch, huh?
574
00:24:22,180 --> 00:24:24,080
What does calling my mom a bitch
have to do with anything?
575
00:24:24,280 --> 00:24:26,380
Because we could fake
a letter from Kyle's mom
576
00:24:26,580 --> 00:24:28,450
giving Kyle permission
to use her credit card number
577
00:24:28,650 --> 00:24:30,920
to buy all the stuff
we need at Best Buy.
578
00:24:31,120 --> 00:24:33,890
I mean, PC Principal
did say we have to help him.
579
00:24:34,090 --> 00:24:36,060
Her. Them. It.
580
00:24:36,260 --> 00:24:38,000
That's the dumbest idea ever!
581
00:24:38,200 --> 00:24:40,300
I don't even know what
my mom's credit number is!
582
00:24:40,500 --> 00:24:41,730
8-7-1-5...
583
00:24:41,930 --> 00:24:43,000
3-2-7...
584
00:24:43,200 --> 00:24:43,800
4-9-2...
585
00:24:44,000 --> 00:24:45,300
2-1-0-0-7.
586
00:24:45,500 --> 00:24:46,890
I use it all the time.
587
00:24:56,830 --> 00:24:59,000
All right. Full name?
588
00:24:59,930 --> 00:25:02,120
What is your name, sir?
589
00:25:02,320 --> 00:25:05,160
I told them already
my name is Eric Cartman.
590
00:25:05,360 --> 00:25:07,360
We know Eric Cartman, okay?
591
00:25:07,560 --> 00:25:10,160
Eric Cartman is in here
all the time getting in trouble.
592
00:25:10,360 --> 00:25:12,030
That's because I'm
from a different universe!
593
00:25:12,230 --> 00:25:13,500
How many times do I have
to tell you people?
594
00:25:13,700 --> 00:25:15,100
The Disney company tried to
use their platform
595
00:25:15,300 --> 00:25:17,800
to bring about social change
and I got fucked.
596
00:25:18,000 --> 00:25:20,840
Hey, Chief. Chief,
you gotta hear this one.
597
00:25:21,040 --> 00:25:22,670
What is it, Johnston?
598
00:25:22,870 --> 00:25:24,110
Aw, God.
599
00:25:24,310 --> 00:25:26,080
This little white boy
claims he's actually
600
00:25:26,280 --> 00:25:27,550
from a different universe.
601
00:25:27,750 --> 00:25:28,980
Is that so?
602
00:25:29,180 --> 00:25:30,350
All right, honkey,
what kind of narcotics
603
00:25:30,550 --> 00:25:33,150
are you on?
Did you do a cavity search?
604
00:25:33,350 --> 00:25:34,820
Have you even said what
you've arrested me for?
605
00:25:35,020 --> 00:25:37,250
I come from a place where this
is extremely inappropriate.
606
00:25:37,450 --> 00:25:39,790
- Chief! Hey, Chief!
- Yeah?
607
00:25:39,990 --> 00:25:41,890
There's some
crazy white lady downstairs
608
00:25:42,090 --> 00:25:44,000
freakin' out and saying
she needs to talk to you.
609
00:25:44,200 --> 00:25:45,330
More honkies?
610
00:25:45,530 --> 00:25:47,060
What is this,
a Taylor Swift concert?
611
00:25:47,260 --> 00:25:49,000
Tell the nice lady
I'll see her after I'm done
612
00:25:49,200 --> 00:25:50,840
with "Eric Cartman" here.
613
00:25:51,040 --> 00:25:52,300
Well, that's just it, Chief.
614
00:25:52,500 --> 00:25:54,710
She's sayin' she's
looking for an Eric Cartman.
615
00:25:54,910 --> 00:25:56,670
Says her name
is Kathleen Kennedy.
616
00:25:56,870 --> 00:25:59,640
Kathleen Kennedy?! No!
617
00:25:59,840 --> 00:26:01,510
She's gonna try to change me,
too! I'm the only one left!
618
00:26:01,710 --> 00:26:04,870
- Hey, get back here!
- She's gonna get me!
619
00:26:07,130 --> 00:26:09,690
Tom, I'm standing outside
620
00:26:09,890 --> 00:26:13,020
the South Park Country Club
where protestors have gathered
621
00:26:13,220 --> 00:26:15,490
to point out
the unfairness in our economy.
622
00:26:15,690 --> 00:26:18,530
The White House says they're
doing all they can but it's been
623
00:26:18,730 --> 00:26:22,300
several days now and my bathroom
tile still is not installed.
624
00:26:22,500 --> 00:26:25,570
Yeah, that's right. You see,
the whole system is rigged.
625
00:26:25,770 --> 00:26:28,340
You've got people like us
who just need our stuff fixed,
626
00:26:28,540 --> 00:26:30,540
and meanwhile
there's these billionaires
627
00:26:30,740 --> 00:26:31,840
that have all the control!
628
00:26:32,040 --> 00:26:33,240
Did you know that if just
629
00:26:33,440 --> 00:26:34,850
one of these billionaires
spread their wealth,
630
00:26:35,050 --> 00:26:37,310
it would mean thousands
to every per--
631
00:26:37,510 --> 00:26:38,750
it would mean thousands
to every--
632
00:26:38,950 --> 00:26:40,180
Sorry, hang on, just a second.
633
00:26:40,380 --> 00:26:41,690
Yeah?
634
00:26:41,890 --> 00:26:43,960
Hey, Ran, the oven door still
isn't shutting right.
635
00:26:44,160 --> 00:26:45,920
Yeah, I'm working on it, Sharon!
636
00:26:46,120 --> 00:26:48,190
I'm actually
working on it right now!
637
00:26:48,390 --> 00:26:50,030
Hey, one of them's coming out!
638
00:26:51,630 --> 00:26:53,230
Please, just glance
at my water pressure!
639
00:26:53,430 --> 00:26:55,770
Mr. Fix It, can you please
tell us why you haven't been
640
00:26:55,970 --> 00:26:57,400
responding to people's calls?
641
00:26:57,600 --> 00:27:00,300
Well, I've just been busy
with my various assets.
642
00:27:00,500 --> 00:27:02,040
You see, I've been trying
to acquire
643
00:27:02,240 --> 00:27:05,880
some social media platforms.
I just bought Instagram.
644
00:27:06,080 --> 00:27:08,210
What? The country needs
stuff fixed.
645
00:27:08,410 --> 00:27:11,050
Why the fuck are you out
buying Instagram?!
646
00:27:13,700 --> 00:27:16,990
Hey, did you just outbid me
to acquire Instagram?
647
00:27:17,190 --> 00:27:18,390
Yeah, I outbid you.
648
00:27:18,590 --> 00:27:21,090
I own Instagram now
and you don't!
649
00:27:21,290 --> 00:27:22,830
Oh, yeah?
Well, I just acquired
650
00:27:23,030 --> 00:27:24,930
the entire
Bloomberg media company!
651
00:27:25,130 --> 00:27:26,560
Oh, yeah?
Well, I can kick your ass.
652
00:27:26,760 --> 00:27:28,230
You wanna fight me MMA?
653
00:27:28,430 --> 00:27:30,330
Yeah, I'll fight you MMA,
let's do it.
654
00:27:30,530 --> 00:27:32,140
What the hell
are they doing now?
655
00:27:32,340 --> 00:27:33,710
I'm just gonna make a company
656
00:27:33,910 --> 00:27:35,310
and I'm gonna fly to space!
657
00:27:35,510 --> 00:27:37,570
I bet I can get to space
before you do!
658
00:27:37,780 --> 00:27:41,160
Gal! Fuck these guys!
659
00:27:45,600 --> 00:27:48,220
She has all the right things
in her purse.
660
00:27:48,420 --> 00:27:50,190
Her driver's license
says Kathleen Kennedy,
661
00:27:50,390 --> 00:27:52,290
she has Kathleen Kennedy
credit cards.
662
00:27:52,490 --> 00:27:54,990
This is definitely all the same
makeup Mrs. Kennedy uses.
663
00:27:55,190 --> 00:27:58,130
I mean, according to this,
she really is Kathleen Kennedy.
664
00:27:58,330 --> 00:28:00,870
Or Kathleen Kennedy
from another universe.
665
00:28:01,070 --> 00:28:02,630
That's enough! Please!
666
00:28:02,830 --> 00:28:04,970
We're not going to
waste our time chasing
667
00:28:05,170 --> 00:28:06,740
after wild scientific theories!
668
00:28:06,940 --> 00:28:07,970
Well, we have to do something.
669
00:28:08,170 --> 00:28:10,110
Kathleen Kennedy is down
on set right now
670
00:28:10,310 --> 00:28:12,010
ruining the new Bambi movie!
671
00:28:12,210 --> 00:28:14,450
Put a diverse woman in it,
make it lame!
672
00:28:14,650 --> 00:28:18,050
But Mrs. Kennedy,
Bam-Bambi's a baby deer.
673
00:28:18,250 --> 00:28:21,120
Fuck baby deer!
Put a chick in it, make her gay!
674
00:28:21,320 --> 00:28:23,390
You guys, you better
come take a look at this.
675
00:28:23,590 --> 00:28:26,490
I don't think we are dealing
with our Kathleen Kennedy.
676
00:28:26,690 --> 00:28:28,760
I took images of Mrs. Kennedy
and put them
677
00:28:28,960 --> 00:28:31,160
against images of her
from a few months ago.
678
00:28:31,360 --> 00:28:33,800
With AI we could detect
the smallest irregularities.
679
00:28:34,000 --> 00:28:35,620
Take a look.
680
00:28:43,390 --> 00:28:46,640
All right. What do we know
about the panderverse?
681
00:28:46,840 --> 00:28:48,050
I'm afraid we know...
682
00:28:48,250 --> 00:28:49,480
frighteningly little.
683
00:28:49,680 --> 00:28:52,250
The only thing we know for sure
684
00:28:52,450 --> 00:28:54,320
is that if a portal
were somehow opened
685
00:28:54,520 --> 00:28:55,690
with the panderstone,
686
00:28:55,890 --> 00:28:58,460
then both universes
eventually will collide,
687
00:28:58,660 --> 00:29:02,260
leading to a level of pandering
we can't even fathom.
688
00:29:02,460 --> 00:29:04,160
That we know for sure. Yes.
689
00:29:04,360 --> 00:29:05,360
Then we have to get everyone
690
00:29:05,560 --> 00:29:07,300
back to the right universe.
691
00:29:07,500 --> 00:29:11,090
Before it's complete
pandermonium.
692
00:29:22,900 --> 00:29:25,550
Okay, Kenny,
switch on the power supply.
693
00:29:25,750 --> 00:29:28,150
Stan, make sure
we've got ethernet!
694
00:29:28,350 --> 00:29:29,690
- All good.
- All right,
695
00:29:29,890 --> 00:29:30,990
let's just hope this works.
696
00:29:31,190 --> 00:29:33,090
Oh, man, what the hell?
697
00:29:33,290 --> 00:29:35,560
Dude, Kyle, what is up
with your Internet speed?
698
00:29:35,760 --> 00:29:37,800
Go tell your parents to
upgrade your Internet speed.
699
00:29:38,000 --> 00:29:39,060
No!
700
00:29:39,260 --> 00:29:40,530
Kyle, I know
you're afraid of your mom
701
00:29:40,730 --> 00:29:42,800
'cause she's a fat bitch,
but we have to do this.
702
00:29:43,000 --> 00:29:44,300
Stop calling my mom a bitch!
703
00:29:44,500 --> 00:29:46,400
Kyle!
704
00:29:46,600 --> 00:29:48,270
I just got an alert
that someone used
705
00:29:48,470 --> 00:29:50,140
my credit card at Best Buy?!
706
00:29:50,340 --> 00:29:53,410
Oh, hello, Mrs. Broflovski.
707
00:29:53,610 --> 00:29:56,380
My goodness,
you're looking nice today.
708
00:29:56,580 --> 00:29:57,980
What?
709
00:29:58,180 --> 00:29:59,880
You know, credit card fraud
710
00:30:00,080 --> 00:30:01,490
is very serious,
Mrs. Broflovski.
711
00:30:01,690 --> 00:30:03,420
You should call your
Internet company right away
712
00:30:03,620 --> 00:30:06,090
and up your speed
and make sure you're protected.
713
00:30:06,290 --> 00:30:09,130
Really? Kyle, who is this?
714
00:30:09,330 --> 00:30:11,100
Oh, haven't you heard, Mom?
715
00:30:11,300 --> 00:30:12,960
We're in a multiverse
and this is
716
00:30:13,160 --> 00:30:14,550
supposed to be Eric Cartman.
717
00:30:15,350 --> 00:30:16,730
Oh, okay, I'm fine with that.
718
00:30:16,930 --> 00:30:19,070
I better go call
the Internet company.
719
00:30:19,270 --> 00:30:20,470
What do you mean
you're fine with that?
720
00:30:20,670 --> 00:30:23,140
I think all this stuff
is great, Kyle.
721
00:30:23,340 --> 00:30:25,240
And what "all stuff"
is that, exactly?
722
00:30:25,440 --> 00:30:27,110
Ha! It worked.
723
00:30:27,310 --> 00:30:29,010
She's gonna call
the Internet company.
724
00:30:29,210 --> 00:30:31,580
Your mom is such
a dumb bitch, Kyle!
725
00:30:31,780 --> 00:30:33,020
Shut up, Cartman!
726
00:30:33,220 --> 00:30:36,690
* Loo, loo, loo,
I got some apples *
727
00:30:36,890 --> 00:30:40,590
* Loo, loo, loo,
you got some, too *
728
00:30:40,790 --> 00:30:43,760
* Loo, loo, loo, let's
make some applesauce... *
729
00:30:43,960 --> 00:30:45,260
Butters.
730
00:30:45,460 --> 00:30:46,700
Butters! Butters, listen to me.
731
00:30:46,900 --> 00:30:49,300
- It's me, Eric.
- You-You-You're not Eric!
732
00:30:49,500 --> 00:30:50,700
Yes, I am Eric Cartman, Butters.
733
00:30:50,900 --> 00:30:52,270
Kathleen Kennedy
is trying to get me.
734
00:30:52,470 --> 00:30:53,940
She won't stop until her
master plan is complete.
735
00:30:54,140 --> 00:30:56,970
I'm not supposed to have
anyone in my room, I'm grounded!
736
00:30:57,170 --> 00:30:59,380
Butters, Disney is going to
get me. They already got you!
737
00:30:59,580 --> 00:31:00,910
They did?!
738
00:31:01,110 --> 00:31:02,410
We are in this together,
Butters.
739
00:31:02,610 --> 00:31:03,880
You have to
keep me safe until I can
740
00:31:04,080 --> 00:31:06,880
figure out how we're gonna--
741
00:31:07,080 --> 00:31:09,020
She's here!
Butters, don't let her get me.
742
00:31:09,220 --> 00:31:11,690
Butters?!
743
00:31:11,890 --> 00:31:15,260
Butters! Why didn't you
answer this door?
744
00:31:15,460 --> 00:31:16,930
Oh. Hey, Dad.
745
00:31:17,130 --> 00:31:19,830
What are you doing up here?
And why do you look so scared?
746
00:31:20,030 --> 00:31:23,900
Oh, I'm not scared, I'm just,
uh, I'm just having fun.
747
00:31:24,100 --> 00:31:25,300
Well, no having fun.
748
00:31:25,500 --> 00:31:28,040
You are grounded.
Start being more miserable.
749
00:31:28,240 --> 00:31:30,340
- Dad?
- Yes, Butters?
750
00:31:30,540 --> 00:31:33,180
Uh, could you check
under my bed and make sure
751
00:31:33,380 --> 00:31:34,780
Kathleen Kennedy isn't there?
752
00:31:34,980 --> 00:31:37,310
Butters, what have I told you
about being more mature?
753
00:31:37,510 --> 00:31:39,450
I can assure you
Kathleen Kennedy
754
00:31:39,650 --> 00:31:41,670
is not under your bed!
755
00:31:47,160 --> 00:31:48,060
That's fucking Kathleen Kennedy!
756
00:31:48,260 --> 00:31:49,060
Right fucking there!
757
00:31:51,380 --> 00:31:53,160
You! Come here!
758
00:31:53,360 --> 00:31:55,030
No, no, no, no, no!
759
00:31:57,630 --> 00:32:00,490
No, no! No, no, no!
760
00:32:13,300 --> 00:32:14,590
Well, Shelley,
761
00:32:14,790 --> 00:32:16,720
we need to talk
about your future.
762
00:32:16,920 --> 00:32:19,890
You see, there's very few
people at the top these days.
763
00:32:20,090 --> 00:32:22,530
AI can do everything
better than we can,
764
00:32:22,730 --> 00:32:25,510
except for stuff
that requires arms.
765
00:32:26,880 --> 00:32:29,270
I don't want you to
end up a deadbeat loser
766
00:32:29,470 --> 00:32:30,970
who goes to college, Shelley.
767
00:32:31,170 --> 00:32:32,700
You need to stay out of school,
768
00:32:32,900 --> 00:32:35,610
and instead go out and be
taught real skills that will
769
00:32:35,810 --> 00:32:38,840
still be profitable
in this post-AI universe.
770
00:32:39,040 --> 00:32:42,950
So what you do is you take
out your phone and you call
771
00:32:43,150 --> 00:32:46,480
the handyman, and see if
those rich people will have
772
00:32:46,680 --> 00:32:49,740
any internships or training
programs available for you.
773
00:32:57,090 --> 00:32:59,430
Handyman service,
how can I help you?
774
00:32:59,630 --> 00:33:01,130
{\i1}{\i0}{\i1}Yeah, hi, it's Randy Marsh.
775
00:33:01,330 --> 00:33:03,730
{\i1}I was wondering if you
might have any internships
776
00:33:03,930 --> 00:33:05,140
{\i1}available for my daughter--
777
00:33:05,340 --> 00:33:06,570
Hey! What in tarnation?!
778
00:33:06,770 --> 00:33:09,340
I told you I'd beat you,
you son' bitch!
779
00:33:09,540 --> 00:33:12,540
You ain't beatin' me!
Turn up them thrusters!
780
00:33:12,740 --> 00:33:14,280
{\i1}My galactic cruiser's
bigger than yours!
781
00:33:14,480 --> 00:33:15,610
H-Hello?
782
00:33:15,810 --> 00:33:16,810
{\i1}Get out my way,
you little pecker!
783
00:33:17,010 --> 00:33:18,250
Hello? Never mind.
784
00:33:18,450 --> 00:33:21,470
The rich people are all just
fucking around in space.
785
00:33:25,610 --> 00:33:27,060
What the hell was that?
786
00:33:27,260 --> 00:33:30,160
I'm getting significantly strong
readings from the panderstone.
787
00:33:30,360 --> 00:33:32,030
Mr. Iger.
We may have a solution.
788
00:33:32,230 --> 00:33:34,900
If this Kathleen Kennedy here
is from somewhere else, then
789
00:33:35,100 --> 00:33:37,930
there has to be a match for her
somewhere in our universe.
790
00:33:38,140 --> 00:33:39,540
So what we can do
791
00:33:39,740 --> 00:33:42,670
is use an AI program that
can take every image ever put
792
00:33:42,870 --> 00:33:45,860
on the Internet to try
and find a match to our image.
793
00:33:46,660 --> 00:33:48,480
{\i1}{\i0}{\i1}Different, different, different,
794
00:33:48,680 --> 00:33:50,410
{\i1}different, different,
different, different,
795
00:33:50,610 --> 00:33:53,020
{\i1}different,
different, different...
796
00:33:53,220 --> 00:33:54,690
{\i1}Same.
797
00:33:54,890 --> 00:33:56,850
Eric Cartman.
798
00:33:57,050 --> 00:33:58,360
South Park Elementary.
799
00:33:58,560 --> 00:34:00,360
Evans, Mallory, come with me.
800
00:34:00,560 --> 00:34:02,690
The rest of you,
don't let Kathleen Kennedy
801
00:34:02,890 --> 00:34:04,060
find out what we're up to.
802
00:34:04,260 --> 00:34:06,660
It's okay, we're keeping
Mrs. Kennedy distracted.
803
00:34:06,860 --> 00:34:09,480
We've sent her away
to have lunch at Spago.
804
00:34:13,720 --> 00:34:15,170
There you are, Mrs. Kennedy,
805
00:34:15,370 --> 00:34:16,870
the linguini and clam sauce.
806
00:34:17,070 --> 00:34:18,380
Uh, excuse me?
807
00:34:18,580 --> 00:34:20,110
I believe I asked you
to put a chick in this
808
00:34:20,310 --> 00:34:21,910
- and make her gay?
- Uh...
809
00:34:22,110 --> 00:34:24,450
Yes, the chef was a little
confused what you meant by that.
810
00:34:24,650 --> 00:34:27,350
It means put a chick
in the linguini
811
00:34:27,550 --> 00:34:29,900
and make her fucking gay!
812
00:34:30,740 --> 00:34:32,940
And I want it lame!
813
00:34:40,030 --> 00:34:43,170
She's gonna get me!
She's gonna get me!
814
00:34:49,560 --> 00:34:51,530
No, no, no, no, no!
815
00:34:54,800 --> 00:34:56,450
Hey, who's that, Ned?
816
00:34:56,650 --> 00:34:58,120
I'm not sure.
817
00:34:58,320 --> 00:34:59,900
No!
818
00:35:02,800 --> 00:35:04,760
There he is!
Get him!
819
00:35:12,350 --> 00:35:15,580
No. Oh, my God, please, no!
820
00:35:17,380 --> 00:35:19,300
No...!
821
00:35:19,500 --> 00:35:20,850
Which way did they go?
822
00:35:22,910 --> 00:35:25,280
We have to work together.
823
00:35:25,480 --> 00:35:27,910
Fuck you, Kathleen Kennedy!
Stay away, you fuckin' bitch!
824
00:35:28,110 --> 00:35:31,500
I'm in the same situation
you are, Eric!
825
00:35:33,400 --> 00:35:36,290
I know you're in
the wrong universe.
826
00:35:36,490 --> 00:35:38,670
So am I.
827
00:35:45,610 --> 00:35:49,070
Well, there's no
other way to put it.
828
00:35:49,270 --> 00:35:50,750
They have us over a barrel.
829
00:35:51,520 --> 00:35:55,640
We give these billionaires
all our money, rely on them,
830
00:35:55,840 --> 00:35:58,330
and so they can do
whatever they want.
831
00:35:59,090 --> 00:36:02,780
Let's just face it, we're
never gonna get our stuff fixed.
832
00:36:02,980 --> 00:36:04,450
Yeah.
833
00:36:04,650 --> 00:36:08,850
And I guess it's
nobody's fault but our own.
834
00:36:09,050 --> 00:36:10,450
Excuse me?
835
00:36:10,650 --> 00:36:11,790
My name is Bob Iger
836
00:36:11,990 --> 00:36:13,390
from the Disney
entertainment company.
837
00:36:13,590 --> 00:36:15,790
We're looking
for an Eric Cartman.
838
00:36:15,990 --> 00:36:18,730
Our universe
has been manipulated with.
839
00:36:18,930 --> 00:36:21,150
Have you all
noticed anything strange?
840
00:36:23,750 --> 00:36:27,000
Yes. Yes, the world
is completely upside down!
841
00:36:27,200 --> 00:36:28,440
Nothing makes sense!
842
00:36:28,640 --> 00:36:30,140
It's because
there's some kind of
843
00:36:30,340 --> 00:36:31,680
disruption in the panderverse.
844
00:36:31,880 --> 00:36:34,410
We believe Kathleen Kennedy
has opened a portal.
845
00:36:34,610 --> 00:36:37,010
This is all
Kathleen Kennedy's fault?
846
00:36:37,210 --> 00:36:39,480
This is all Kathleen Kennedy's
fault!
847
00:36:39,680 --> 00:36:40,720
Who's Kathleen Kennedy?
848
00:36:40,920 --> 00:36:43,050
One of the top executives
at Disney.
849
00:36:43,250 --> 00:36:44,660
It's not us, you guys.
850
00:36:44,860 --> 00:36:46,820
I knew there was an explanation!
851
00:36:47,020 --> 00:36:48,760
We didn't waste our time
at college!
852
00:36:48,960 --> 00:36:51,130
We didn't get lazy
from technology!
853
00:36:51,330 --> 00:36:53,930
Everything is
Kathleen Kennedy's fault!
854
00:36:57,650 --> 00:37:00,890
Follow me.
I'll help you find Eric.
855
00:37:01,690 --> 00:37:04,010
Okay, okay,
everything is finally loaded.
856
00:37:04,210 --> 00:37:05,810
We got Internet
at full capacity.
857
00:37:06,010 --> 00:37:07,180
You guys ready
to see if this works?
858
00:37:07,380 --> 00:37:09,250
- Yeah!
- All right, let's do this!
859
00:37:09,450 --> 00:37:10,950
Launching Steam now.
860
00:37:11,150 --> 00:37:12,080
Steam?
861
00:37:12,280 --> 00:37:13,580
Okay. I'm in Steam.
862
00:37:13,780 --> 00:37:14,850
Got the application ready to go.
863
00:37:15,050 --> 00:37:16,570
The title screen is launching!
864
00:37:18,770 --> 00:37:20,820
It's working.
It's working, you guys!
865
00:37:21,020 --> 00:37:22,260
It looks sweet
on this big monitor!
866
00:37:22,460 --> 00:37:24,730
Wait a minute.
You mean this entire time,
867
00:37:24,930 --> 00:37:26,560
all you've wanted to do
is play Baldur's Gate 3?
868
00:37:26,760 --> 00:37:28,270
Yeah. What'd you think
I was trying to do?
869
00:37:28,470 --> 00:37:30,170
We thought you were
trying to set up some elaborate
870
00:37:30,370 --> 00:37:31,800
system to get
back to your universe!
871
00:37:32,000 --> 00:37:33,970
I ain't no
quantum astro physicist.
872
00:37:34,170 --> 00:37:36,710
The fuck I know about
how the multiverse works?
873
00:37:36,910 --> 00:37:39,410
Wow. It really is Cartman.
874
00:37:39,610 --> 00:37:41,090
All right, that does it!
875
00:37:42,360 --> 00:37:43,750
Get out of my room!
876
00:37:43,950 --> 00:37:46,250
You have to be cool to me, Kyle.
PC Principal says so.
877
00:37:46,450 --> 00:37:49,420
I don't care! All this multiple
universe stuff is tired and lazy
878
00:37:49,620 --> 00:37:51,290
and we are not doing it anymore!
879
00:37:51,490 --> 00:37:52,890
Boys! Boys,
880
00:37:53,090 --> 00:37:54,630
we need to help Disney
put our universe back together.
881
00:37:54,830 --> 00:37:56,130
Where's Eric Cartman?
882
00:37:56,330 --> 00:37:57,860
Dad, this might be hard
to understand,
883
00:37:58,060 --> 00:37:59,460
but this is Eric Cartman.
884
00:37:59,660 --> 00:38:01,100
Oh, okay, great.
Come on, Eric,
885
00:38:01,300 --> 00:38:02,630
we need to go.
886
00:38:02,830 --> 00:38:05,170
We have to hurry, Eric.
887
00:38:05,370 --> 00:38:06,940
No. No, wait.
888
00:38:07,140 --> 00:38:09,040
Something's wrong.
Oh, my God!
889
00:38:09,240 --> 00:38:11,310
- What is it?
- My save game.
890
00:38:11,510 --> 00:38:13,710
I'm already like 50 hours
into Baldur's Gate 3
891
00:38:13,910 --> 00:38:16,080
but it's saying that
I have to start a new game.
892
00:38:16,280 --> 00:38:18,750
Do save games not cross
between multiple universes?
893
00:38:18,950 --> 00:38:20,020
Save games
don't even cross between
894
00:38:20,220 --> 00:38:21,650
PCs and PS5s,
why would they cross
895
00:38:21,850 --> 00:38:23,100
between multiple universes?
896
00:38:24,100 --> 00:38:25,290
No...!
897
00:38:25,490 --> 00:38:26,960
Please, everyone.
We are running out of time!
898
00:38:27,160 --> 00:38:28,860
We have to close
the panderverse before
899
00:38:29,060 --> 00:38:30,630
everything we care about
is destroyed!
900
00:38:30,830 --> 00:38:31,800
So what do we have to do?
901
00:38:32,000 --> 00:38:33,100
We have to get everyone
902
00:38:33,300 --> 00:38:34,870
back to the proper place,
but to breach
903
00:38:35,070 --> 00:38:36,670
the panderverse,
we need to find a place
904
00:38:36,870 --> 00:38:39,120
with integrity
that has a broken door.
905
00:38:40,020 --> 00:38:43,470
A place with "integridy"
that has a broken door.
906
00:38:43,670 --> 00:38:46,160
I know where to go.
907
00:38:48,230 --> 00:38:50,610
So, yeah, so it's just basically
off the hinges.
908
00:38:50,810 --> 00:38:52,620
I'd fix it myself
but I've been really busy.
909
00:38:52,820 --> 00:38:54,080
Do you think it'll work?
910
00:38:54,280 --> 00:38:55,650
If we're to try to open
a panderverse portal,
911
00:38:55,850 --> 00:38:57,690
it's as good as any place,
I suppose.
912
00:38:57,890 --> 00:38:59,620
Okay, people,
we don't have much time.
913
00:38:59,820 --> 00:39:02,840
Bring in the panderstone.
914
00:39:05,930 --> 00:39:07,900
I'm not your enemy, Eric.
915
00:39:08,100 --> 00:39:10,170
For some reason
fate has put us together.
916
00:39:10,370 --> 00:39:12,740
What do you want from me,
Kathleen Kennedy?
917
00:39:12,940 --> 00:39:15,040
I've been stuck in
this universe for months.
918
00:39:15,240 --> 00:39:17,110
I want out of here
just as much as you do.
919
00:39:17,310 --> 00:39:20,140
Hello, welcome to City Woke,
can I take your order, please?
920
00:39:20,340 --> 00:39:21,310
Ugh.
921
00:39:21,510 --> 00:39:23,150
We're just having tea,
thank you.
922
00:39:23,350 --> 00:39:25,150
Okay, you just wanna tea
and talk about
923
00:39:25,350 --> 00:39:27,450
shitty male-dominated society,
that's fine.
924
00:39:27,650 --> 00:39:29,490
I don't get it,
this is exactly the kind of
925
00:39:29,690 --> 00:39:31,290
universe you wanted,
why would you want to leave?
926
00:39:31,490 --> 00:39:35,210
To stop her from undoing
the panderverse completely.
927
00:39:38,240 --> 00:39:40,630
I saw the panderstone
for the first time
928
00:39:40,830 --> 00:39:42,030
a few years ago.
929
00:39:42,230 --> 00:39:44,170
{\i1}Bob Iger took us
to the Disney archives
930
00:39:44,370 --> 00:39:47,240
{\i1}and showed us an ancient
piece of artificial intelligence
931
00:39:47,440 --> 00:39:50,070
{\i1}that could be used to make
the same movies over
932
00:39:50,270 --> 00:39:53,960
{\i1}and over again while appealing
to absolutely everyone.
933
00:39:55,100 --> 00:39:57,310
{\i1}The panderstone worked great,
for a while.
934
00:39:57,510 --> 00:40:00,580
{\i1}- But then came the hate mail.
- Ugly letters from racists
935
00:40:00,780 --> 00:40:02,720
{\i1}who couldn't stand
that some of the panderstone's
936
00:40:02,920 --> 00:40:05,660
{\i1}rehashes had diverse
women characters in the lead.
937
00:40:05,860 --> 00:40:09,290
{\i1}- I decided I would show them.
- I would start making movies
938
00:40:09,490 --> 00:40:11,330
{\i1}to fight all
the bigotry in our society.
939
00:40:11,530 --> 00:40:13,530
{\i1}But instead
of doing any real work,
940
00:40:13,730 --> 00:40:18,900
{\i1}- I turned to the panderstone.
- It made things so much easier.
941
00:40:19,100 --> 00:40:21,440
{\i1}Soon, I was using
the panderstone over
942
00:40:21,640 --> 00:40:24,610
{\i1}and over again to try
and fight all the ugly feedback,
943
00:40:24,810 --> 00:40:27,660
{\i1}which in turn was growing
stronger and stronger.
944
00:40:28,430 --> 00:40:30,950
{\i1}But I was fighting
with the wrong tool.
945
00:40:31,150 --> 00:40:32,750
{\i1}I used the panderstone
to the point
946
00:40:32,950 --> 00:40:35,270
{\i1}that it became unstable.
947
00:40:36,100 --> 00:40:37,920
{\i1}It opened a portal
to multiple universes,
948
00:40:38,120 --> 00:40:40,840
{\i1}and something came through.
949
00:40:48,580 --> 00:40:51,800
At first we fought. I tried
to send it back to its universe.
950
00:40:52,000 --> 00:40:53,500
But it got the upper hand.
951
00:40:53,700 --> 00:40:56,140
It was able instead
to send me to this universe,
952
00:40:56,340 --> 00:40:58,960
out of its way so
it could thrive in ours.
953
00:41:00,560 --> 00:41:02,880
That's actually
the best explanation
954
00:41:03,080 --> 00:41:06,320
I've heard as to why
Disney movies all suck now.
955
00:41:10,370 --> 00:41:11,820
All right, I've set
the panderstone
956
00:41:12,020 --> 00:41:13,560
into the compromised doorway.
957
00:41:13,760 --> 00:41:15,910
Activating the panderstone now.
958
00:41:17,310 --> 00:41:18,290
Whoa!
959
00:41:18,490 --> 00:41:19,960
Space-time portal
is manifesting!
960
00:41:20,160 --> 00:41:21,630
Panderverse
quantum fields are aligned!
961
00:41:21,830 --> 00:41:24,230
Yeah, that sounds like typical
multiverse gobbledygook.
962
00:41:24,430 --> 00:41:26,400
Will you stop ripping
on multiple universes, Kyle?
963
00:41:26,600 --> 00:41:28,200
I'm trying to get back
to Baldur's Gate.
964
00:41:28,400 --> 00:41:31,340
Now I warn you, Mr. Marsh,
once inside the panderverse,
965
00:41:31,540 --> 00:41:33,210
you will be falling
through different realities.
966
00:41:33,410 --> 00:41:35,350
Your mind will barely
be able to comprehend
967
00:41:35,550 --> 00:41:37,950
- what you are experiencing.
- Randy?
968
00:41:38,150 --> 00:41:40,180
I think the oven door is
still having problems if you--
969
00:41:40,380 --> 00:41:43,170
I am working on it, Sharon!
970
00:41:44,640 --> 00:41:47,660
The portal is at full.
This might be our only shot!
971
00:41:47,860 --> 00:41:49,560
Good luck, Mr. Marsh!
972
00:41:49,760 --> 00:41:51,440
Whoa!
973
00:41:54,800 --> 00:41:56,920
Hold on to the rope!
974
00:41:58,420 --> 00:42:00,540
Oh, whoa!
975
00:42:00,740 --> 00:42:02,440
Oh, my God.
976
00:42:02,640 --> 00:42:05,110
Whoa!
977
00:42:05,310 --> 00:42:07,610
Whoa.
978
00:42:09,910 --> 00:42:12,550
Oh, God, it's so weird.
979
00:42:12,750 --> 00:42:14,550
Shorts, now I'm wearing shorts!
980
00:42:16,890 --> 00:42:17,820
Can you imagine it?
981
00:42:18,020 --> 00:42:19,520
An infinite number of universes
982
00:42:19,720 --> 00:42:21,730
with infinite combinations of
pants and shirts.
983
00:42:21,930 --> 00:42:25,010
What do you think about
multiple universes now, boys?
984
00:42:26,250 --> 00:42:27,500
Yeah, they're pretty
fucking stupid.
985
00:42:27,700 --> 00:42:28,600
Yeah.
986
00:42:28,800 --> 00:42:30,130
I understand that maybe
987
00:42:30,330 --> 00:42:31,900
you were trying to
make a difference, Kathleen.
988
00:42:32,100 --> 00:42:33,870
But you have to admit
the last few movies
989
00:42:34,070 --> 00:42:35,610
you've shit out
have been real stinkers.
990
00:42:35,810 --> 00:42:37,070
All I ever wanted was to
991
00:42:37,270 --> 00:42:39,410
make great entertainment,
believe me.
992
00:42:39,610 --> 00:42:42,450
But as soon as you start getting
piles and piles of hate mail,
993
00:42:42,650 --> 00:42:45,050
endless messages
calling you the c-word,
994
00:42:45,250 --> 00:42:46,950
you can't think straight.
995
00:42:47,150 --> 00:42:49,720
Well, I'm sorry I wrote
all those letters.
996
00:42:49,920 --> 00:42:51,520
It probably was a bit much.
997
00:42:51,720 --> 00:42:54,830
No, I got like
10,000 letters a day.
998
00:42:55,030 --> 00:42:56,460
Mm, I was doing more like
12,000 to 13,000,
999
00:42:56,660 --> 00:42:58,910
especially after the new
Indiana Jones came out.
1000
00:42:59,910 --> 00:43:02,870
Then it's you! You're the one
who caused all this!
1001
00:43:03,070 --> 00:43:04,840
Fuck you! You're the one
who caused all this!
1002
00:43:05,040 --> 00:43:06,770
I wouldn't have tried
to fight racism
1003
00:43:06,970 --> 00:43:07,900
with the panderstone
if you hadn't
1004
00:43:08,100 --> 00:43:09,240
written all those letters.
1005
00:43:09,440 --> 00:43:10,540
I wouldn't have written
all those letters
1006
00:43:10,740 --> 00:43:11,780
if you hadn't
tried to fight racism
1007
00:43:11,980 --> 00:43:13,610
with a fucking panderstone.
1008
00:43:15,480 --> 00:43:17,680
Mr. Marsh!
Can you hear us?
1009
00:43:17,880 --> 00:43:18,950
Oh, wow!
1010
00:43:19,150 --> 00:43:20,920
You should see
the pants I have on now!
1011
00:43:21,120 --> 00:43:24,320
Whoa! Oh, now I have on,
like, suspenders.
1012
00:43:24,520 --> 00:43:27,260
Like almost like overalls
but not quite!
1013
00:43:27,460 --> 00:43:28,420
My God.
1014
00:43:28,620 --> 00:43:30,660
Mr. Marsh!
Try and stay focused!
1015
00:43:30,860 --> 00:43:33,360
You should be
seeing another portal soon!
1016
00:43:33,560 --> 00:43:35,600
If our Kathleen Kennedy
got the other Eric Cartman
1017
00:43:35,800 --> 00:43:37,100
to the right place.
1018
00:43:37,300 --> 00:43:38,870
Oh, my God! Oh, my God!
1019
00:43:39,070 --> 00:43:40,370
Dad? What's the matter?
1020
00:43:40,570 --> 00:43:42,670
I'm wearing a Baltimore Ravens
shirt now!
1021
00:43:42,870 --> 00:43:44,270
I hate the Ravens!
1022
00:43:44,470 --> 00:43:47,040
I don't know if I can do this!
1023
00:43:47,240 --> 00:43:49,180
Oh, now it's the Dolphins!
Ah! The Chiefs!
1024
00:43:49,380 --> 00:43:50,980
Oh, it's the Chiefs!
1025
00:43:51,180 --> 00:43:52,550
He's losing his mind!
1026
00:43:52,750 --> 00:43:54,420
The panderverse
is filled with mystery
1027
00:43:54,620 --> 00:43:57,990
and paradox, you--
you have to try and hang on!
1028
00:44:01,240 --> 00:44:03,440
Jesus, it's getting worse.
1029
00:44:09,350 --> 00:44:12,820
Where the fuck is Bob Iger?
1030
00:44:13,620 --> 00:44:15,670
Uh, Mr. Iger
just had to take some
1031
00:44:15,870 --> 00:44:17,410
of the others to a screening.
1032
00:44:17,610 --> 00:44:20,440
I think that things
are being kept from me.
1033
00:44:20,640 --> 00:44:22,950
And if you're going
to keep things from me,
1034
00:44:23,150 --> 00:44:25,520
then you'd better
put a chick in it,
1035
00:44:25,720 --> 00:44:28,850
and make her
fucking gay as fuck.
1036
00:44:35,210 --> 00:44:37,960
So that's it,
that's the connection.
1037
00:44:38,160 --> 00:44:40,900
I reacted to you
and you reacted to me.
1038
00:44:41,100 --> 00:44:43,530
And I guess
we created each other.
1039
00:44:43,730 --> 00:44:44,940
Mrs. Kennedy,
1040
00:44:45,140 --> 00:44:46,140
I don't think
I've ever said this
1041
00:44:46,340 --> 00:44:49,140
before in my life but...
I'm sorry.
1042
00:44:49,340 --> 00:44:52,140
I lashed out so hard and used
the c-word so many times,
1043
00:44:52,340 --> 00:44:54,540
you didn't really have
a choice but to double down.
1044
00:44:54,740 --> 00:44:58,010
Eric, I know you care
about all things Disney.
1045
00:44:58,210 --> 00:45:01,620
I'm sorry I was so reckless
with the things that you love.
1046
00:45:01,820 --> 00:45:04,650
It was just lazy.
1047
00:45:04,860 --> 00:45:06,320
I guess just wailing
1048
00:45:06,520 --> 00:45:10,010
on woke stuff all the time
is pretty lazy, too.
1049
00:45:17,180 --> 00:45:21,550
I think...
I think I can let go now.
1050
00:45:28,490 --> 00:45:31,800
Aah...
1051
00:45:32,600 --> 00:45:37,640
Come on, Kate. Looks like
we got a flight to catch.
1052
00:45:47,400 --> 00:45:49,600
Whoa, what the hell is that?
1053
00:45:53,370 --> 00:45:56,110
Oh, yo, bitch!
You killed Kenny!
1054
00:45:56,310 --> 00:45:58,320
You fat ho!
1055
00:46:07,900 --> 00:46:09,140
Look!
1056
00:46:12,770 --> 00:46:14,610
I'm back, you guys!
1057
00:46:16,440 --> 00:46:18,430
Kyle! Kyle, I'm back!
1058
00:46:18,630 --> 00:46:20,100
I was so wrong
about Kathleen Kennedy,
1059
00:46:20,300 --> 00:46:21,700
Kyle, she's so awesome!
1060
00:46:21,900 --> 00:46:23,970
Okay, what Cartman is this?
1061
00:46:24,170 --> 00:46:25,370
Mrs. Kennedy, you're back!
1062
00:46:25,570 --> 00:46:27,770
- Great to see you, ma'am.
- Thanks, you guys.
1063
00:46:27,970 --> 00:46:30,570
We have a lot of changes
to discuss at the company.
1064
00:46:30,770 --> 00:46:32,980
From now on we're only
going to make original content
1065
00:46:33,180 --> 00:46:34,610
that doesn't pander.
1066
00:46:34,810 --> 00:46:36,710
Sure we will, Kate.
Sure we will.
1067
00:46:38,180 --> 00:46:40,070
Hey, guys! Guys, over here!
1068
00:46:40,830 --> 00:46:44,090
I did a little extra work while
I was out in multiple universes.
1069
00:46:44,290 --> 00:46:46,560
We're not gonna have a problem
with billionaires anymore,
1070
00:46:46,760 --> 00:46:48,540
check it out!
1071
00:46:52,000 --> 00:46:55,000
Now people who can do stuff
will be just as poor
1072
00:46:55,200 --> 00:46:56,370
as the rest of us!
1073
00:46:58,940 --> 00:47:01,740
Tom, it appears that
everything is back to normal.
1074
00:47:01,940 --> 00:47:04,470
Billionaires have been put
in their place and once again
1075
00:47:04,670 --> 00:47:07,340
it doesn't matter that we
don't know how to do anything.
1076
00:47:07,540 --> 00:47:09,850
It's a good ending here
and we can all be happy
1077
00:47:10,050 --> 00:47:14,500
that everyone
is back in their universe.
1078
00:47:21,720 --> 00:47:23,230
Mom! Mom!
1079
00:47:23,430 --> 00:47:25,130
What is it, Mrs. Kennedy?
1080
00:47:25,330 --> 00:47:26,660
Oh. Oh, Mom!
1081
00:47:26,860 --> 00:47:28,630
I was just having
the worst nightmare.
1082
00:47:28,830 --> 00:47:31,270
I was me except everyone
around me was different.
1083
00:47:31,470 --> 00:47:32,770
Oh, no, Mrs. Kennedy.
1084
00:47:32,970 --> 00:47:36,340
Here, have some of your favorite
cereal to calm you down.
1085
00:47:36,540 --> 00:47:38,570
Oh, thank you. It was so real.
1086
00:47:38,770 --> 00:47:40,210
All my friends were there
but they'd been
1087
00:47:40,410 --> 00:47:41,540
replaced by strangers.
1088
00:47:41,740 --> 00:47:43,450
I think you were even there
too, Kyle.
1089
00:47:43,650 --> 00:47:45,520
Really? I was there, too?
1090
00:47:45,720 --> 00:47:47,180
Yeah, that's right, Kyle,
you were there
1091
00:47:47,380 --> 00:47:48,350
but you weren't cereal
and I couldn't
1092
00:47:48,550 --> 00:47:49,550
just eat you like I can here.
1093
00:47:51,250 --> 00:47:52,360
No, please, no, Mrs. Kennedy!
1094
00:47:52,560 --> 00:47:53,960
Oh, you're so yummy, Kyle!
1095
00:47:54,160 --> 00:47:56,290
Oh, oh, it's so good to be home.
1096
00:47:56,490 --> 00:47:58,680
Yum, yum, yum, yum, yum.
83194
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