All language subtitles for Reba - 4x11 - Diamond Jim Brady

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:04,356 --> 00:00:07,324 THEY SHOULD'VE BEEN HERE 20 MINUTES AGO. 2 00:00:07,393 --> 00:00:09,263 REBA, HOW DO YOU EXPECT ME TO SKETCH YOU FOR 3 00:00:09,287 --> 00:00:11,094 MY ART CLASS WHEN YOU KEEP WALKIN' AROUND? 4 00:00:11,163 --> 00:00:14,898 NOW HOLD STILL. OOH, SULTRY. YEAH. 5 00:00:16,869 --> 00:00:22,139 VERY ROMANCE NOVEL. I'M GONNA DRAW FABIO STANDING BEHIND YOU. 6 00:00:24,477 --> 00:00:28,144 BARBRA JEAN, THAT CAN WAIT. DID VAN SAY HOW SERIOUS HIS INJURY IS? 7 00:00:28,213 --> 00:00:31,915 HE JUST SAID IT WAS HIS BACK. THE TEAM WAS SENDIN' HIM HOME. OOH, PERFECT. 8 00:00:31,984 --> 00:00:34,417 SAY "HOME" AGAIN. 9 00:00:35,721 --> 00:00:40,490 HOME. BARBRA JEAN, GO HOME! 10 00:00:40,559 --> 00:00:44,862 OKAY. LOOK, YOU GUYS, I DON'T HAVE VERY MUCH TIME. VAN'S ON HIS WAY IN. 11 00:00:44,930 --> 00:00:48,231 BUT LISTEN, I HAVE TO WARN YOU. DO NOT MAKE FUN OF HIS INJURY. 12 00:00:48,300 --> 00:00:50,634 - WHY? WHAT IS IT? - HE BROKE HIS BUTT. 13 00:00:54,707 --> 00:00:58,275 WELL, HE ACTUALLY FRACTURED HIS TAILBONE, BUT... 14 00:00:58,344 --> 00:01:00,744 LET'S FACE IT... HE BROKE HIS BUTT. 15 00:01:03,048 --> 00:01:05,527 GUYS, THAT IS NOT FUNNY. I KNOW. NO. NO, NO. 16 00:01:05,551 --> 00:01:08,251 COME ON, REBA. IT'S JUST THAT WE'RE RELIEVED THAT IT'S NOT SERIOUS. 17 00:01:08,321 --> 00:01:11,355 - SHH, SHH, SHH. - HEY. HEY, BUDDY. 18 00:01:11,424 --> 00:01:13,357 HEY, EVERYBODY. 19 00:01:14,460 --> 00:01:18,227 S-SO, IT WAS YOUR, UM... YOUR BACK, HUH? 20 00:01:18,296 --> 00:01:22,599 YEAH, THE BACK... BACKISH. 21 00:01:22,668 --> 00:01:25,988 - HEY, BUDDY, WHY DON'T YOU COME ON AND TAKE A SEAT? - NO, THANKS. I'LL JUST STAND. 22 00:01:26,038 --> 00:01:29,873 OH, HONEY, DON'T BE SILLY. YOU HAVE TO GET OFF YOUR FEET. 23 00:01:31,543 --> 00:01:34,711 SERIOUSLY, VAN. PULL UP A DOUGHNUT. 24 00:01:37,917 --> 00:01:40,295 ALL RIGHT. YOU KNOW WHAT? THIS IS NOT FUNNY. NO! 25 00:01:40,319 --> 00:01:42,297 NO, IT'S NOT. SORRY. SORRY. 26 00:01:42,321 --> 00:01:44,766 YOU'RE RIGHT. YOU'RE RIGHT. SORRY 'BOUT THAT. 27 00:01:52,631 --> 00:01:54,564 IT HAS A LEAK. 28 00:01:57,536 --> 00:02:00,970 VAN, DON'T BE EMBARRASSED ABOUT YOUR BUTT RING. 29 00:02:03,542 --> 00:02:07,810 WHEN I WAS ON THE HIGH SCHOOL VOLLEYBALL TEAM, I TOOK A BALL RIGHT TO THE EYE. 30 00:02:07,879 --> 00:02:09,813 JUST WHAMMO! YOU KNOW? 31 00:02:09,882 --> 00:02:13,950 AND FOR THE REST OF THE SEASON I HAD TO WEAR THESE HUGE, BUG-EYED GOGGLES... 32 00:02:14,019 --> 00:02:17,421 THAT EVERYONE MADE FUN OF. 33 00:02:17,490 --> 00:02:19,906 WOULD'VE BEEN NICE IF SOMEONE HAD MENTIONED, 34 00:02:19,930 --> 00:02:22,259 I ONLY HAD TO WEAR THEM DURING GAMES. HEH. 35 00:02:26,898 --> 00:02:29,244 CHEYENNE, I WANNA GO BACK TO DENVER. OKAY, NO. 36 00:02:29,268 --> 00:02:31,268 NO, NO, NO. WAIT. 37 00:02:31,336 --> 00:02:34,905 VAN'S HURT, AND IN THIS VERY TOUGH TIME, 38 00:02:34,974 --> 00:02:37,885 HE DESERVES TO BE TREATED WITH DIGNITY AND RESPECT. 39 00:02:37,909 --> 00:02:40,877 - ABSOLUTELY. YEAH. - THANK YOU, MRS. H. 40 00:02:40,946 --> 00:02:44,114 NOW, IF Y'ALL HAD ENOUGH FUN, I'M GONNA GO UPSTAIRS AND GET SOME REST. 41 00:02:44,183 --> 00:02:45,727 OKAY, BUDDY. 42 00:02:45,751 --> 00:02:48,191 HEY, MAN, FEEL BETTER. 43 00:02:59,431 --> 00:03:01,131 HA, HEY! 44 00:03:01,200 --> 00:03:03,934 ♪ MY ROOTS ARE PLANTED IN THE PAST ♪ 45 00:03:04,002 --> 00:03:06,370 ♪ THOUGH MY LIFE IS CHANGING FAST ♪ 46 00:03:06,438 --> 00:03:10,440 ♪ WHO I AM IS WHO I WANT TO BE ♪ 47 00:03:10,509 --> 00:03:13,243 ♪ A SINGLE MOM WHO WORKS TOO HARD ♪ 48 00:03:13,312 --> 00:03:15,979 ♪ WHO LOVES HER KIDS AND NEVER STOPS ♪ 49 00:03:16,048 --> 00:03:17,614 ♪ WITH GENTLE HANDS ♪ 50 00:03:17,683 --> 00:03:19,549 ♪ AND THE HEART OF A FIGHTER ♪ 51 00:03:22,353 --> 00:03:26,189 ♪ I'M A SURVIVOR ♪♪ 52 00:03:32,464 --> 00:03:35,598 ♪ HEAD, SHOULDERS KNEES AND TOES ♪ 53 00:03:35,667 --> 00:03:38,001 ♪ KNEES AND TOES ♪♪ 54 00:03:44,376 --> 00:03:45,953 WHERE DO YOU THINK THAT DOCTOR IS? 55 00:03:45,977 --> 00:03:49,112 I DON'T KNOW, BUT HE BETTER CLEAR ME TO PLAY SOON. THE TEAM NEEDS ME. 56 00:03:49,181 --> 00:03:53,249 WELL, DON'T YOU HAVE THAT SECOND-STRINGY GUY? STEVE WURLY? 57 00:03:53,318 --> 00:03:55,485 WURLY DON'T DO WHAT VAN DO. 58 00:03:56,988 --> 00:03:59,000 HEY. SORRY ABOUT THE WAIT, FOLKS. 59 00:03:59,024 --> 00:04:03,126 NO PROBLEM. SO, WHAT'S UP, DOC? 60 00:04:03,195 --> 00:04:07,164 - I BET YOU HEAR THAT A LOT. - NOT SINCE THE LAST TIME YOU WERE HERE. 61 00:04:07,232 --> 00:04:09,566 YEAH. 62 00:04:09,635 --> 00:04:12,802 HEY, YOU KNOW, I DON'T KNOW IF IT'S FROM THE MASSIVE DOSE... 63 00:04:12,871 --> 00:04:15,311 OF X-RAYS YOU SHOT THROUGH ME, BUT MY TAILBONE FEELS TERRIFIC. 64 00:04:15,373 --> 00:04:18,693 YEAH, I'M SORRY ABOUT ALL THAT, VAN. THE TAILBONE LOOKS FINE, 65 00:04:18,744 --> 00:04:21,222 BUT THERE'S SOMETHING ELSE I NEEDED TO GET A GOOD LOOK AT. 66 00:04:21,246 --> 00:04:25,616 WHOA, WHOA, WHOA. I DON'T KNOW IF WE NEED TO BE SHOWIN' MY MOTHER-IN-LAW MY ONION. 67 00:04:27,719 --> 00:04:31,588 - IT'S NOT YOUR ONION. IT'S THIS. - WHOA! YOU CAN'T SHOW THAT! 68 00:04:32,591 --> 00:04:35,391 THAT'S YOUR SPINE. 69 00:04:35,460 --> 00:04:37,494 OH. 70 00:04:37,562 --> 00:04:42,032 HAVE YOU EVER HEARD OF SPINAL STENOSIS? IT'S A NARROWING OF THE SPINAL CANAL. 71 00:04:42,100 --> 00:04:44,079 HAS ANYONE EVER MENTIONED THIS TO YOU BEFORE? 72 00:04:44,103 --> 00:04:49,572 MY SPINE IS GETTING NARROW? IS THAT WHY MY PANTS HAVE BEEN FEELIN' LOOSER? 73 00:04:56,281 --> 00:04:58,782 NO. 74 00:04:58,850 --> 00:05:03,720 STENOSIS IS A FAIRLY COMMON CONDITION. MOST PEOPLE THAT HAVE IT NEVER EVEN KNOW IT. 75 00:05:03,789 --> 00:05:05,722 SO YOU'RE SAYIN' IT'S NOT A PROBLEM? 76 00:05:05,791 --> 00:05:08,202 USUALLY THERE'S NO PROBLEM LEADING A NORMAL, ACTIVE LIFE. 77 00:05:08,226 --> 00:05:11,461 THERE IS A PROBLEM, HOWEVER, IF YOU'RE IN A CONTACT SPORT. 78 00:05:11,530 --> 00:05:13,763 - LIKE FOOTBALL. - WHAT DO YOU MEAN? 79 00:05:13,832 --> 00:05:15,765 WELL, NO TEAM WOULD TAKE THE RISK. 80 00:05:15,834 --> 00:05:19,736 A PLAYER COULD BECOME PARALYZED BECAUSE OF THIS. THEY'D BE LIABLE. 81 00:05:19,805 --> 00:05:23,373 IF THEY HAD KNOWN ABOUT THIS, THERE IS NO WAY THEY WOULD'VE PUT YOU ON THE TEAM. 82 00:05:26,010 --> 00:05:28,879 WELL, THEN DON'T TELL 'EM. 83 00:05:28,948 --> 00:05:31,447 I HAVE TO TELL 'EM. THEY SENT YOU HERE, VAN. 84 00:05:31,516 --> 00:05:35,085 VAN? WHO'S VAN? 85 00:05:36,655 --> 00:05:38,922 MY NAME'S WURLY... STEVE WURLY. 86 00:05:38,991 --> 00:05:44,728 NOW, LADIES, IF YOU'LL COME WITH ME. MRS. WURLY, MOTHER WURLY. 87 00:05:51,436 --> 00:05:54,003 HEY. HEY, BUDDY. HEY, GUYS, HOW WAS THE DRIVE? 88 00:05:54,072 --> 00:05:58,274 OH, WE... WE WENT BY THE PARK AND SAW THESE LITTLE TINY KIDS PLAYIN' FOOTBALL. 89 00:05:58,343 --> 00:06:03,913 AND I THOUGHT, "CHILDREN, STOP. DON'T FALL IN LOVE WITH THIS SPORT. 90 00:06:03,982 --> 00:06:07,283 YOUR DREAMS ARE JUST GONNA GET RIPPED TO SHREDS LIKE A BUNNY IN A WOOD CHIPPER!" 91 00:06:09,020 --> 00:06:13,123 ACTUALLY, UH, YOU DIDN'T REALLY THINK IT. YOU... YOU KINDA YELLED IT. 92 00:06:13,191 --> 00:06:15,926 GOOD! 93 00:06:15,994 --> 00:06:18,795 THE TRUTH SHOULD BE YELLED! MAYBE THAT'S WHAT I'LL DO WITH MY LIFE NOW. 94 00:06:18,864 --> 00:06:22,799 I'LL JUST WANDER AROUND AND YELL THE TRUTH! 95 00:06:22,868 --> 00:06:27,036 BUT MAYBE NOT AT LITTLE KIDS, 'CAUSE THEY START TO CRY. YEAH. 96 00:06:27,105 --> 00:06:31,141 VAN, LOOK ON THE BRIGHT SIDE. THE DOCTOR SAID THIS WOULDN'T AFFECT YOUR DAILY LIFE. 97 00:06:31,210 --> 00:06:33,810 YOU CAN STILL DO ALL THE THINGS THAT A REGULAR PERSON CAN DO. 98 00:06:33,878 --> 00:06:37,514 MRS. H, I DON'T WANNA BE A REGULAR PERSON. 99 00:06:42,888 --> 00:06:44,980 DAD, I HATE TO BRING THIS UP, BUT I WAS HOPIN' 100 00:06:45,004 --> 00:06:46,890 I COULD ASK YOU SOME FINANCIAL QUESTIONS. 101 00:06:46,958 --> 00:06:48,801 WE GOTTA FIGURE OUT WHAT WE'RE GONNA DO 102 00:06:48,825 --> 00:06:51,027 MONEYWISE NOW THAT VAN'S NOT GONNA BE WORKIN'. 103 00:06:51,096 --> 00:06:52,741 WELL, I CAN HELP. WHEN YOUR DAD WAS 104 00:06:52,765 --> 00:06:54,864 FIDDLIN' AROUND WITH THAT SILLY GOLF CAREER, 105 00:06:54,933 --> 00:06:58,568 I GOT QUITE GOOD AT STRETCHIN' A BUCK. 106 00:06:58,637 --> 00:07:04,341 FIRST OF ALL, WINNING THE PRESTO DRY CLEANER INVITATIONAL... 107 00:07:04,409 --> 00:07:06,342 WASN'T FIDDLING AROUND. 108 00:07:08,113 --> 00:07:10,046 OKAY? AND VAN IS STILL UNDER CONTRACT. 109 00:07:10,115 --> 00:07:12,293 HE GETS PAID FOR THE REST OF THE YEAR. REALLY? 110 00:07:12,317 --> 00:07:14,718 YEAH. YEAH. SO STOP WORRYING, YOU TWO. 111 00:07:14,786 --> 00:07:19,288 YEAH. THAT'S RIGHT. STOP WORRYING. 112 00:07:19,357 --> 00:07:22,759 EVERYTHING IS JUST GONNA BE... 113 00:07:22,828 --> 00:07:25,328 HUNKY-DORY. 114 00:07:25,396 --> 00:07:29,866 COME ON, BARBRA JEAN. LET'S SEE IF WE CAN FIND SOMEBODY ELSE FOR YOU TO CHEER UP. 115 00:07:32,938 --> 00:07:34,871 HOW SAD. 116 00:07:34,940 --> 00:07:38,208 OKAY. LOOK, VAN, I AM GONNA GO TO THE PHARMACY TO PICK UP YOUR PRESCRIPTIONS... 117 00:07:38,277 --> 00:07:40,343 FOR THOSE ANTI-INFLAMMATORIES AND THOSE PAINKILLERS, 118 00:07:40,411 --> 00:07:44,080 OH, AND THAT TOPICAL CREAM FOR YOUR BOTTOM. 119 00:07:49,288 --> 00:07:51,288 THANK YOU! 120 00:07:58,230 --> 00:08:02,432 SO HOW'S IT GOIN' THERE, BUDDY? OH, NEVER FELT BETTER. 121 00:08:02,501 --> 00:08:04,445 I'M JUST SITTIN' HERE TRYING TO DECIDE WHAT 122 00:08:04,469 --> 00:08:06,436 KIND OF CIGARETTES I'M GONNA START SMOKIN'. 123 00:08:09,408 --> 00:08:13,777 LOOK, VAN, THIS IS A TOUGH SITUATION, AND I'M NOT GONNA PRETEND LIKE IT ISN'T. 124 00:08:13,845 --> 00:08:17,914 BUT IT'S A MOTHER-IN-LAW'S JOB TO POINT OUT THE GOOD IN EVERY SITUATION. 125 00:08:17,982 --> 00:08:22,085 OH, I THOUGHT IT WAS A MOTHER-IN LAW'S JOB TO MAKE BUTT JOKES ABOUT HER SON-IN-LAW. 126 00:08:23,254 --> 00:08:25,188 WE WEAR MANY HATS. 127 00:08:27,559 --> 00:08:33,496 YOU'VE HAD A GREAT CAREER, YOU'VE GOT A WONDERFUL FAMILY, 128 00:08:33,565 --> 00:08:37,567 AND NOW YOU GET TO FIND SOMETHIN' NEW AND EXCITING TO DO WITH THE REST OF YOUR LIFE. 129 00:08:37,636 --> 00:08:41,604 BUT FOOTBALL WAS ALL I HAD. THAT'S WHAT YOU THINK TODAY. 130 00:08:41,673 --> 00:08:46,443 YOU'LL FIND SOMETHIN'. GOD NEVER CLOSES A DOOR WITHOUT OPENIN' ANOTHER ONE. 131 00:08:48,279 --> 00:08:50,781 LUCKY STRIKES. 132 00:08:56,054 --> 00:08:57,987 WHAT? YEAH. 133 00:08:58,056 --> 00:09:01,824 THAT'S THE KIND OF CIGARETTES I'M GONNA START SMOKIN'... LUCKY STRIKES. 134 00:09:01,893 --> 00:09:05,361 THE IRONY WILL JUST BE MAGNIFICENT! 135 00:09:06,631 --> 00:09:10,110 NO. LOOK, YOU'LL GET YOUR BUYOUT FROM THE TEAM, 136 00:09:10,134 --> 00:09:12,379 AND THAT'LL GIVE YOU SOME EXTRA TIME TO FIGURE THINGS OUT. 137 00:09:12,403 --> 00:09:14,332 I... I WASN'T GONNA SAY THIS IN FRONT OF 138 00:09:14,356 --> 00:09:16,505 CHEYENNE, BUT THERE'S NOT GONNA BE A BUYOUT. 139 00:09:16,574 --> 00:09:20,242 YOU HEARD THE DOCTOR. THIS WAS A PREEXISTING CONDITION. SO? 140 00:09:20,311 --> 00:09:25,248 SO, I TALKED TO MY AGENT, AND THAT MEANS THE TEAM DOESN'T OWE ME ANYTHING. 141 00:09:25,317 --> 00:09:27,250 OH, BOY. 142 00:09:27,319 --> 00:09:30,820 YEAH. SO MUCH FOR BEIN' HUNKY-DORY! 143 00:09:33,491 --> 00:09:37,193 NO FOOTBALL, NO MONEY, NO LIFE. 144 00:09:37,262 --> 00:09:41,664 ALL I HAVE TO LOOK FORWARD TO NOW IS A LIFETIME OF TOPICAL CREAMS... 145 00:09:42,935 --> 00:09:45,335 FOR MY BOTTOM! 146 00:09:55,280 --> 00:09:59,382 YOU KNOW WHO I BLAME FOR VAN NOT GETTIN' PAID? THE LAWYERS. 147 00:09:59,451 --> 00:10:02,552 YEAH, THEY RUN EVERYTHING. AND THEY'RE IN BED WITH THE DOCTORS. 148 00:10:02,621 --> 00:10:05,888 NOW, THE PEOPLE WHO SHOULD BE RUNNING THINGS... 149 00:10:05,957 --> 00:10:10,660 THE DENTISTS... NOBODY COMES TO. 150 00:10:10,729 --> 00:10:14,063 BUT AREN'T "THE DENTIST" IN BED WITH "THE DENTAL HYGIENIST"? 151 00:10:22,207 --> 00:10:25,942 SO NO SETTLEMENT, NO JOB, GREAT. MY LIFE IS... IS TURNING OUT PERFECTLY. 152 00:10:26,011 --> 00:10:27,989 PRETTY SOON I WILL HAVE ACHIEVED MY DREAM... 153 00:10:28,013 --> 00:10:31,581 OF BEING THE PRETTIEST GIRL IN THE HOMELESS SHELTER. 154 00:10:31,649 --> 00:10:34,884 COME ON, SWEETIE. YOU PUT SOME MONEY AWAY, 155 00:10:34,952 --> 00:10:36,604 AND WE'LL DO WHATEVER WE CAN TO HELP OUT 156 00:10:36,628 --> 00:10:38,555 UNTIL VAN FIGURES OUT WHAT HE'S GONNA DO NEXT. 157 00:10:38,623 --> 00:10:41,157 WELL, THAT'S JUST IT. WHAT IS VAN GONNA DO NOW? 158 00:10:41,225 --> 00:10:43,226 TA-DA! 159 00:10:48,466 --> 00:10:52,202 OH, GOOD LORD. HE'S BECOME A PIMP! 160 00:10:54,473 --> 00:10:57,352 Y'ALL WONDERIN' WHAT I'M DOING IN A RICH GUY'S COAT? WELL, I'LL TELL YOU. 161 00:10:57,376 --> 00:11:00,076 - I'M A RICH GUY. - WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? 162 00:11:00,144 --> 00:11:03,746 TALKIN' ABOUT BEIN' RICH, BABY. 163 00:11:03,815 --> 00:11:07,650 - THE TEAM GAVE ME THE SETTLEMENT! - WHOA, WHOA. HOLD ON A SECOND. 164 00:11:07,719 --> 00:11:10,465 I THOUGHT THEY WERE OFF THE HOOK BECAUSE IT WAS A PREEXISTING CONDITION. 165 00:11:10,489 --> 00:11:12,888 THAT'S WHAT THEIR LAWYER WAS SAYIN', BUT MY AGENT SAID... 166 00:11:12,957 --> 00:11:15,325 THEY DIDN'T FIND IT WHEN I HAD MY FIRST PHYSICAL. 167 00:11:15,393 --> 00:11:18,595 AND THEN IT GOT KINDA DULL, AND THEN I DOZED OFF. I DON'T KNOW. 168 00:11:18,663 --> 00:11:21,631 ALL I KNOW IS, WHEN I WOKE UP, I WAS RICH! 169 00:11:21,700 --> 00:11:25,101 - OH, MY GOD. - I'VE GOTTA SIT DOWN. 170 00:11:25,169 --> 00:11:28,471 SO I DON'T HAVE TO PRETEND THAT IT'S ALL GONNA WORK OUT, 'CAUSE IT ACTUALLY... 171 00:11:28,539 --> 00:11:30,473 IS GONNA WORK OUT? YES. 172 00:11:30,542 --> 00:11:33,944 AND MRS. H, YOUR SUPPORT THROUGH THIS WAS HUGE. 173 00:11:34,012 --> 00:11:36,279 YOU WERE MY ROCK. 174 00:11:36,347 --> 00:11:39,282 COME HERE. 175 00:11:39,350 --> 00:11:44,487 I ALSO WOULD LIKE TO PUBLICLY APOLOGIZE TO GOD FOR CALLIN' HIM FAT, MEAN AND STUPID. 176 00:11:48,159 --> 00:11:50,093 HOW MUCH DID YOU GET? GUESS. 177 00:11:50,161 --> 00:11:52,106 VAN... WRONG. A HUNDRED GRAND. 178 00:11:52,130 --> 00:11:56,132 VAN? DON'T JOKE. I'M NOT. I GOT A HUNDRED THOUSAND BUCKS, MINUS THE COAT. 179 00:11:56,201 --> 00:11:59,669 - WHOA. A HUNDRED GRAND? - WELL, MINUS THE COAT. 180 00:11:59,738 --> 00:12:03,773 OH, VAN, DON'T TAKE IT OFF. I HAVE TO DRAW YOU. YEAH. THAT'S IT. 181 00:12:03,842 --> 00:12:08,278 MRS. H, YOU WERE RIGHT. GOD DOES NOT CLOSE ONE DOOR WITHOUT OPENIN' ANOTHER. 182 00:12:08,347 --> 00:12:10,646 AND SOMETIMES, BEHIND THAT OTHER DOOR... 183 00:12:10,715 --> 00:12:14,584 IS A GUY HOLDIN' A CHECK WITH A ONE AND FOUR ZEROS ON IT! 184 00:12:18,423 --> 00:12:21,024 ONE AND FOUR ZEROS IS 10,000. 185 00:12:24,763 --> 00:12:28,164 UH, FIVE. ONE AND FIVE ZEROS, BABY! 186 00:12:28,232 --> 00:12:31,968 WE'RE RICH. I'VE GONE FROM, LIKE, HOMELESS TO RICH IN, LIKE, TWO SECONDS. 187 00:12:32,037 --> 00:12:34,370 RICH IS WAY BETTER. I KNOW. 188 00:12:34,439 --> 00:12:36,806 I CAN FINALLY GET THAT BOAT I'VE ALWAYS WANTED. 189 00:12:36,875 --> 00:12:40,043 - YOU NEVER WANTED A BOAT. - I KNOW. I CAN FINALLY WANT A BOAT. 190 00:12:41,712 --> 00:12:44,880 YOU GUYS SHOULD TRAVEL... SEE THE WORLD. 191 00:12:48,220 --> 00:12:52,088 KNOCK IT OFF. HE DIDN'T PICK THAT MONEY OFF A TREE OUT FRONT. 192 00:12:52,157 --> 00:12:55,725 IT'S TO REPLACE HIS SALARY. THIS MONEY SHOULD BE INVESTED. 193 00:12:55,794 --> 00:12:58,961 I'M WITH MRS. H. INVESTING IS THE WAY TO GO. 194 00:12:59,030 --> 00:13:03,232 I JUST NEED TO DECIDE IF I WANT TO INVEST IN BASEBALL CARDS OR ANTIQUE SWORDS. 195 00:13:03,301 --> 00:13:05,781 ANTIQUE SWORDS. ANTIQUE SWORDS. ANTIQUE SWORDS. 196 00:13:07,271 --> 00:13:09,238 INVEST IN SOMETHIN' SAFE. 197 00:13:09,307 --> 00:13:11,285 BASEBALL CARDS. BASEBALL CARDS. 198 00:13:15,847 --> 00:13:18,248 I CAME INTO SOME MONEY ONCE. 199 00:13:18,316 --> 00:13:21,729 AND I WAS ALL SET TO BLOW IT ON A PAIR OF DIAMOND EARRINGS, 200 00:13:21,753 --> 00:13:23,731 SOMETHIN' I'D WANTED SINCE I WAS A LITTLE GIRL. 201 00:13:23,755 --> 00:13:27,923 BUT I KNEW IT WAS FOOLISH, SO INSTEAD... 202 00:13:28,993 --> 00:13:31,071 I USED IT TO SECURE MY FUTURE. 203 00:13:31,095 --> 00:13:34,097 YOU ARE SO WISE. 204 00:13:34,165 --> 00:13:37,267 I'M GONNA DRAW YOU AS AN OWL. 205 00:13:38,536 --> 00:13:40,976 WITH FABIO BEHIND YOU. 206 00:13:43,775 --> 00:13:46,910 MOM, WHAT'D YOU DO WITH THE MONEY? 207 00:13:46,978 --> 00:13:50,213 PUT YOUR DAD THROUGH DENTAL SCHOOL. NOBODY SAY NOTHING! 208 00:13:58,857 --> 00:14:01,291 HEY, MOM, LISTEN. 209 00:14:04,161 --> 00:14:06,295 I LOVE THAT SONG. YEAH. 210 00:14:06,364 --> 00:14:08,798 - WHAT'S THAT? - WELL, IT'S A GUITAR. 211 00:14:08,867 --> 00:14:10,867 I REALIZE IT'S A GUITAR, KYRA. 212 00:14:10,935 --> 00:14:14,970 THEY DID TEACH US A LITTLE SOMETHIN' IN MORON SCHOOL. 213 00:14:15,039 --> 00:14:17,451 I MEANT, WHERE'D YOU GET IT? VAN BOUGHT IF FOR ME. 214 00:14:17,475 --> 00:14:20,810 - WHY WOULD HE DO THAT? - YESTERDAY, I WOULD'VE SAID IT'S BECAUSE HE'S AN IDIOT. 215 00:14:20,879 --> 00:14:23,959 BUT TODAY, IT'S BECAUSE HE'S THE BEST BROTHER-IN-LAW ON THE PLANET. 216 00:14:25,450 --> 00:14:28,751 MOM, YOU GOTTA COME UPSTAIRS AND SEE THE XBOX VAN GOT ME. 217 00:14:28,820 --> 00:14:31,050 OKAY, WHAT'S GOIN' ON? YOU CAN'T USE IT UP 218 00:14:31,074 --> 00:14:33,489 THERE. YOU DON'T EVEN HAVE A TV IN YOUR ROOM. 219 00:14:33,558 --> 00:14:36,759 I DO NOW. I PUT IT RIGHT NEXT TO MY NEW FOOSBALL TABLE. 220 00:14:39,464 --> 00:14:41,442 DON'T BREAK IT. IT'S GOIN' BACK. 221 00:14:41,466 --> 00:14:44,167 YEAH. I MEAN, WHY WOULD HE NEED AN XBOX? 222 00:14:44,235 --> 00:14:47,470 YOU CAN'T WRITE A BEAUTIFUL SONG ABOUT YOUR MOTHER ON A XBOX, LIKE... 223 00:14:47,538 --> 00:14:50,472 ♪ I LOVE MY MOMMY, YEAH ♪ 224 00:14:51,642 --> 00:14:53,576 WORK ON IT. 225 00:14:53,644 --> 00:14:55,811 WHERE'S VAN? HE'S OUT. 226 00:14:55,880 --> 00:14:57,960 YEAH, OUT OF HIS MIND. DO YOU KNOW HE'S OUT 227 00:14:57,984 --> 00:15:00,283 BUYIN' STUFF LIKE THEY'RE GONNA QUIT MAKIN' IT? 228 00:15:00,352 --> 00:15:05,922 UH-HUH. HEY, MOM, WHICH ONE OF THESE CARS GOES BETTER WITH MY EYES? 229 00:15:13,564 --> 00:15:15,531 YOU'RE LOOKIN' AT CARS? YEAH. 230 00:15:15,600 --> 00:15:18,868 YESTERDAY, YOU WERE PRACTICALLY IN TEARS WORRYIN' ABOUT NOT HAVIN' ANY MONEY. 231 00:15:18,937 --> 00:15:21,054 WELL, YESTERDAY, WE DIDN'T HAVE ANY MONEY, 232 00:15:21,078 --> 00:15:23,372 BUT NOW WE DO, SO I'M NOT WORRIED. I'M GIDDY. 233 00:15:23,441 --> 00:15:26,843 - - NO, NO, NO. YOU DON'T WANNA BE GIDDY. 234 00:15:26,911 --> 00:15:30,713 GIDDY LIVES NEXT DOOR TO RECKLESS, WHO SHARES AN APARTMENT WITH STUPID. 235 00:15:33,851 --> 00:15:35,851 TA-DA! 236 00:15:40,258 --> 00:15:44,126 THAT COAT LOOKS SO GREAT ON YOU. I KNOW. I KNOW. YEAH. 237 00:15:44,195 --> 00:15:46,596 OH, SWEET VAN. 238 00:15:46,665 --> 00:15:48,872 I COMPLIMENT HIM ON THE COAT, AND HE JUST 239 00:15:48,896 --> 00:15:51,400 TOOK IF OFF AND GAVE IT TO ME... LIKE A MOVIE. 240 00:15:51,469 --> 00:15:55,838 HOPE NOBODY COMPLIMENTS HIM ON HIS PANTS. 241 00:15:55,907 --> 00:15:59,241 HE'S GONNA GET A NEW COAT ON THE WAY HOME FROM BUYIN' BROCK GOLF CLUBS. 242 00:15:59,310 --> 00:16:02,412 THAT KID IS GENEROUS TO A FAULT. 243 00:16:02,480 --> 00:16:04,647 YES, TO A FAULT. 244 00:16:04,716 --> 00:16:08,084 HE NEEDS TO USE THAT MONEY TO LIVE ON UNTIL HE CAN FIND A NEW CAREER! 245 00:16:08,152 --> 00:16:10,253 MOM, THERE IS PLENTY OF MONEY LEFT. 246 00:16:10,321 --> 00:16:14,490 CHEYENNE, THIS IS JUST DAY ONE. ALL THAT STUFF HAS TO GO BACK. 247 00:16:21,465 --> 00:16:25,000 DO NOT... TOUCH... THE COAT. 248 00:16:25,069 --> 00:16:27,281 - GIVE IT TO ME. GIVE IT. - NO. NO. NO. 249 00:16:27,305 --> 00:16:30,066 GIVE IT TO ME. NO, NO. COME ON. 250 00:16:40,418 --> 00:16:43,753 OH, HEY, MRS. H. YOU DON'T NEED TO BE DOIN' THAT. 251 00:16:43,821 --> 00:16:47,022 IF THE CARPET'S DIRTY, I'LL JUST BUY YOU A NEW HOUSE. 252 00:16:47,091 --> 00:16:52,061 WELL, THAT'S AWFULLY CRAZY OF YOU, VAN, BUT, NO, THANKS. WE NEED TO TALK. 253 00:16:52,130 --> 00:16:55,197 OKAY, BUT MY TEAM'S ON THE TV IN A FEW MINUTES. HEY, LISTEN TO THIS. 254 00:16:55,266 --> 00:16:57,567 SOMEBODY E-MAILED THEM AND SAID THEY SHOULD ALL... 255 00:16:57,636 --> 00:17:01,070 WEAR A LITTLE STICKER WITH MY NUMBER ON IT ON THE BACK OF THEIR HELMETS. 256 00:17:01,139 --> 00:17:03,372 OKAY, IT WAS ME. 257 00:17:04,842 --> 00:17:06,987 HEY, WHERE IS EVERYBODY? WELL, LET'S SEE. 258 00:17:07,011 --> 00:17:10,279 CHEYENNE IS LOOKIN' AT CARS. KYRA'S UP PLAYIN' HER GUITAR. 259 00:17:10,348 --> 00:17:14,050 YEAH. BROCK'S GOLFING. JAKE'S PLAYIN' HIS NEW VIDEO GAMES. 260 00:17:14,119 --> 00:17:16,410 AND BARBRA JEAN'S WALKIN' UP AND DOWN THE 261 00:17:16,434 --> 00:17:19,088 STREET IN HER NEW COAT YELLIN', "CHECK IT OUT!" 262 00:17:19,157 --> 00:17:24,660 GOOD, 'CAUSE I DIDN'T WANT THEM TO GET JEALOUS THAT I GOT YOU YOUR OWN PIZZA. 263 00:17:27,165 --> 00:17:32,368 YOU GOT ME A PIZZA. MM-HMM, WITH EVERYTHING ON IT. 264 00:17:32,436 --> 00:17:36,172 VAN, I CAN'T ACCEPT YOUR PIZZA. ARE YOU MAD 'CAUSE I DIDN'T GET YOU SOMETHIN' NICER? 265 00:17:36,240 --> 00:17:41,844 WE NEED TO TALK. WELL, I'M NOT TALKIN', UNLESS YOU... 266 00:17:41,913 --> 00:17:45,949 AH... EAT YOUR PIZZA. 267 00:17:46,017 --> 00:17:48,684 WHO WILL BLINK FIRST? 268 00:17:57,762 --> 00:18:02,799 YEAH-EAH-EAH. I GOT YOU! YOU SHOULD'VE SEEN YOUR FACE. MMM. 269 00:18:02,867 --> 00:18:06,535 YOU'RE HILARIOUS WHEN YOU POUT. 270 00:18:09,741 --> 00:18:11,741 VAN, THESE ARE COMPLETELY... 271 00:18:11,809 --> 00:18:14,543 OH, GORGEOUS! OH, MY GOSH. 272 00:18:14,612 --> 00:18:17,680 WELL, YOU SAID YOU ALWAYS WANTED DIAMOND EARRINGS. 273 00:18:17,749 --> 00:18:21,717 NOW YOU GOT THEM. I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO SAY. 274 00:18:21,786 --> 00:18:25,554 JUST SAY WHAT'S IN YOUR HEART, MRS. H. OKAY. 275 00:18:28,192 --> 00:18:31,393 HAVE YOU LOST WHAT LITTLE SENSE GOD GAVE YOU? 276 00:18:31,462 --> 00:18:34,463 I THINK I'VE FIGURED OUT WHY YOU DON'T GET A LOT OF GIFTS. 277 00:18:34,532 --> 00:18:36,999 VAN, YOU CAN'T DO THIS. 278 00:18:37,068 --> 00:18:40,114 YOU CAN'T RIP THROUGH THIS MONEY LIKE A BAG OF SOUR CREAM POTATO CHIPS. 279 00:18:40,138 --> 00:18:43,539 I'M NOT RIPPIN' THROUGH IT. 50,000 GOES PRETTY QUICK. 280 00:18:43,608 --> 00:18:47,677 IT'S A HUNDRED GRAND. YOU HAVE TO PAY A LITTLE THING CALLED TAXES. 281 00:18:47,745 --> 00:18:51,047 YOU GOTTA PAY TAXES ON THAT MONEY, AND IT'LL BE ABOUT HALF. 282 00:18:51,115 --> 00:18:52,848 HALF? 283 00:18:52,917 --> 00:18:54,984 YEAH. 284 00:18:55,053 --> 00:18:58,320 I THOUGHT BUSH WAS LOOKIN' OUT FOR US RICH GUYS. 285 00:18:59,657 --> 00:19:02,617 HALF. AND WHAT'S LEFT AFTER TAXES... 286 00:19:02,660 --> 00:19:06,106 WILL HAVE TO LAST UNTIL YOU FIGURE WHAT YOU'RE GONNA DO WITH THE REST OF YOUR LIFE. 287 00:19:06,130 --> 00:19:09,398 IT'S NOT TO BLOW ON A BUNCH OF DUMB GIFTS... 288 00:19:09,467 --> 00:19:12,101 AND ONE GORGEOUS PAIR OF EARRINGS. 289 00:19:16,106 --> 00:19:18,741 WHAT'S GOIN' ON? 290 00:19:18,810 --> 00:19:22,345 I DON'T KNOW. I GUESS I JUST LIKED THE WAY IT FELT WHEN I GAVE PEOPLE STUFF... 291 00:19:22,414 --> 00:19:24,580 THE WAY THEY LOOKED AT ME WITH THAT LOOK. 292 00:19:24,649 --> 00:19:27,261 WHAT LOOK? THAT LOOK EVERYBODY USED TO GIVE ME... 293 00:19:27,285 --> 00:19:29,536 WHEN I HAD A GOOD GAME OR GOT WRITTEN ABOUT 294 00:19:29,560 --> 00:19:31,888 IN THE PAPER... YOU KNOW, LIKE I WAS A HERO. 295 00:19:31,956 --> 00:19:35,191 OH. THAT LOOK. 296 00:19:35,260 --> 00:19:39,861 AND NOW THAT I'M NOT PLAYIN' FOOTBALL ANYMORE, I'M NOT GONNA GET THAT LOOK. 297 00:19:39,930 --> 00:19:42,364 I GO BACK TO BEIN' DUMB OLD VAN. 298 00:19:44,168 --> 00:19:48,136 I THINK I KNOW A WAY YOU CAN GET THAT HERO LOOK WITHOUT BEIN' DIAMOND JIM BRADY. 299 00:19:48,205 --> 00:19:51,406 ME TOO... RESCUE SOMEONE FROM A BURNING BUILDING. 300 00:19:53,611 --> 00:19:58,147 BUT THERE ARE NEVER ANY FIRES IN THIS NEIGHBORHOOD. 301 00:19:59,784 --> 00:20:02,395 YOU WANT PEOPLE TO LOOK AT YOU LIKE A HERO? 302 00:20:02,419 --> 00:20:06,221 THEN BE A HERO. DO SOMETHIN' HEROIC WITH YOUR LIFE. 303 00:20:06,290 --> 00:20:10,660 DEAL WITH THIS TOUGH TIME THAT YOU'RE GOIN' THROUGH. FIND YOUR WAY. 304 00:20:14,799 --> 00:20:18,634 I DON'T KNOW WHAT'S GONNA HAPPEN TO ME, MRS. H. THAT'S OKAY. 305 00:20:18,703 --> 00:20:20,703 HEROES NEVER DO. 306 00:20:22,106 --> 00:20:25,106 NOW HERE. WHY DON'T YOU TAKE THESE BACK... 307 00:20:32,584 --> 00:20:34,783 LATER. 308 00:20:34,852 --> 00:20:38,588 'CAUSE RIGHT NOW, I'M GONNA RUN UP AND DOWN THE STREET WITH BARBRA JEAN. 309 00:20:39,657 --> 00:20:41,657 CHECK IT OUT! 310 00:21:15,526 --> 00:21:18,460 ACME! 26680

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