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1
00:00:04,356 --> 00:00:07,324
THEY SHOULD'VE BEEN
HERE 20 MINUTES AGO.
2
00:00:07,393 --> 00:00:09,263
REBA, HOW DO YOU EXPECT
ME TO SKETCH YOU FOR
3
00:00:09,287 --> 00:00:11,094
MY ART CLASS WHEN YOU
KEEP WALKIN' AROUND?
4
00:00:11,163 --> 00:00:14,898
NOW HOLD STILL.
OOH, SULTRY. YEAH.
5
00:00:16,869 --> 00:00:22,139
VERY ROMANCE NOVEL. I'M GONNA
DRAW FABIO STANDING BEHIND YOU.
6
00:00:24,477 --> 00:00:28,144
BARBRA JEAN, THAT CAN WAIT. DID
VAN SAY HOW SERIOUS HIS INJURY IS?
7
00:00:28,213 --> 00:00:31,915
HE JUST SAID IT WAS HIS BACK. THE TEAM
WAS SENDIN' HIM HOME. OOH, PERFECT.
8
00:00:31,984 --> 00:00:34,417
SAY "HOME" AGAIN.
9
00:00:35,721 --> 00:00:40,490
HOME. BARBRA JEAN, GO HOME!
10
00:00:40,559 --> 00:00:44,862
OKAY. LOOK, YOU GUYS, I DON'T HAVE
VERY MUCH TIME. VAN'S ON HIS WAY IN.
11
00:00:44,930 --> 00:00:48,231
BUT LISTEN, I HAVE TO WARN YOU.
DO NOT MAKE FUN OF HIS INJURY.
12
00:00:48,300 --> 00:00:50,634
- WHY? WHAT IS IT?
- HE BROKE HIS BUTT.
13
00:00:54,707 --> 00:00:58,275
WELL, HE ACTUALLY
FRACTURED HIS TAILBONE, BUT...
14
00:00:58,344 --> 00:01:00,744
LET'S FACE IT... HE
BROKE HIS BUTT.
15
00:01:03,048 --> 00:01:05,527
GUYS, THAT IS NOT
FUNNY. I KNOW. NO. NO, NO.
16
00:01:05,551 --> 00:01:08,251
COME ON, REBA. IT'S JUST THAT
WE'RE RELIEVED THAT IT'S NOT SERIOUS.
17
00:01:08,321 --> 00:01:11,355
- SHH, SHH, SHH.
- HEY. HEY, BUDDY.
18
00:01:11,424 --> 00:01:13,357
HEY, EVERYBODY.
19
00:01:14,460 --> 00:01:18,227
S-SO, IT WAS YOUR,
UM... YOUR BACK, HUH?
20
00:01:18,296 --> 00:01:22,599
YEAH, THE BACK... BACKISH.
21
00:01:22,668 --> 00:01:25,988
- HEY, BUDDY, WHY DON'T YOU
COME ON AND TAKE A SEAT?
- NO, THANKS. I'LL JUST STAND.
22
00:01:26,038 --> 00:01:29,873
OH, HONEY, DON'T BE SILLY.
YOU HAVE TO GET OFF YOUR FEET.
23
00:01:31,543 --> 00:01:34,711
SERIOUSLY, VAN.
PULL UP A DOUGHNUT.
24
00:01:37,917 --> 00:01:40,295
ALL RIGHT. YOU KNOW
WHAT? THIS IS NOT FUNNY. NO!
25
00:01:40,319 --> 00:01:42,297
NO, IT'S NOT. SORRY. SORRY.
26
00:01:42,321 --> 00:01:44,766
YOU'RE RIGHT. YOU'RE
RIGHT. SORRY 'BOUT THAT.
27
00:01:52,631 --> 00:01:54,564
IT HAS A LEAK.
28
00:01:57,536 --> 00:02:00,970
VAN, DON'T BE EMBARRASSED
ABOUT YOUR BUTT RING.
29
00:02:03,542 --> 00:02:07,810
WHEN I WAS ON THE HIGH SCHOOL VOLLEYBALL
TEAM, I TOOK A BALL RIGHT TO THE EYE.
30
00:02:07,879 --> 00:02:09,813
JUST WHAMMO! YOU KNOW?
31
00:02:09,882 --> 00:02:13,950
AND FOR THE REST OF THE SEASON I HAD
TO WEAR THESE HUGE, BUG-EYED GOGGLES...
32
00:02:14,019 --> 00:02:17,421
THAT EVERYONE MADE FUN OF.
33
00:02:17,490 --> 00:02:19,906
WOULD'VE BEEN NICE IF
SOMEONE HAD MENTIONED,
34
00:02:19,930 --> 00:02:22,259
I ONLY HAD TO WEAR
THEM DURING GAMES. HEH.
35
00:02:26,898 --> 00:02:29,244
CHEYENNE, I WANNA GO
BACK TO DENVER. OKAY, NO.
36
00:02:29,268 --> 00:02:31,268
NO, NO, NO. WAIT.
37
00:02:31,336 --> 00:02:34,905
VAN'S HURT, AND IN
THIS VERY TOUGH TIME,
38
00:02:34,974 --> 00:02:37,885
HE DESERVES TO BE TREATED
WITH DIGNITY AND RESPECT.
39
00:02:37,909 --> 00:02:40,877
- ABSOLUTELY. YEAH.
- THANK YOU, MRS. H.
40
00:02:40,946 --> 00:02:44,114
NOW, IF Y'ALL HAD ENOUGH FUN, I'M
GONNA GO UPSTAIRS AND GET SOME REST.
41
00:02:44,183 --> 00:02:45,727
OKAY, BUDDY.
42
00:02:45,751 --> 00:02:48,191
HEY, MAN, FEEL BETTER.
43
00:02:59,431 --> 00:03:01,131
HA, HEY!
44
00:03:01,200 --> 00:03:03,934
♪ MY ROOTS ARE
PLANTED IN THE PAST ♪
45
00:03:04,002 --> 00:03:06,370
♪ THOUGH MY LIFE
IS CHANGING FAST ♪
46
00:03:06,438 --> 00:03:10,440
♪ WHO I AM IS WHO I WANT TO BE ♪
47
00:03:10,509 --> 00:03:13,243
♪ A SINGLE MOM WHO
WORKS TOO HARD ♪
48
00:03:13,312 --> 00:03:15,979
♪ WHO LOVES HER
KIDS AND NEVER STOPS ♪
49
00:03:16,048 --> 00:03:17,614
♪ WITH GENTLE HANDS ♪
50
00:03:17,683 --> 00:03:19,549
♪ AND THE HEART OF A FIGHTER ♪
51
00:03:22,353 --> 00:03:26,189
♪ I'M A SURVIVOR ♪♪
52
00:03:32,464 --> 00:03:35,598
♪ HEAD, SHOULDERS
KNEES AND TOES ♪
53
00:03:35,667 --> 00:03:38,001
♪ KNEES AND TOES ♪♪
54
00:03:44,376 --> 00:03:45,953
WHERE DO YOU THINK
THAT DOCTOR IS?
55
00:03:45,977 --> 00:03:49,112
I DON'T KNOW, BUT HE BETTER CLEAR
ME TO PLAY SOON. THE TEAM NEEDS ME.
56
00:03:49,181 --> 00:03:53,249
WELL, DON'T YOU HAVE THAT
SECOND-STRINGY GUY? STEVE WURLY?
57
00:03:53,318 --> 00:03:55,485
WURLY DON'T DO WHAT VAN DO.
58
00:03:56,988 --> 00:03:59,000
HEY. SORRY ABOUT
THE WAIT, FOLKS.
59
00:03:59,024 --> 00:04:03,126
NO PROBLEM. SO, WHAT'S UP, DOC?
60
00:04:03,195 --> 00:04:07,164
- I BET YOU HEAR THAT A LOT.
- NOT SINCE THE LAST TIME
YOU WERE HERE.
61
00:04:07,232 --> 00:04:09,566
YEAH.
62
00:04:09,635 --> 00:04:12,802
HEY, YOU KNOW, I DON'T KNOW
IF IT'S FROM THE MASSIVE DOSE...
63
00:04:12,871 --> 00:04:15,311
OF X-RAYS YOU SHOT THROUGH
ME, BUT MY TAILBONE FEELS TERRIFIC.
64
00:04:15,373 --> 00:04:18,693
YEAH, I'M SORRY ABOUT ALL THAT,
VAN. THE TAILBONE LOOKS FINE,
65
00:04:18,744 --> 00:04:21,222
BUT THERE'S SOMETHING ELSE I
NEEDED TO GET A GOOD LOOK AT.
66
00:04:21,246 --> 00:04:25,616
WHOA, WHOA, WHOA. I DON'T KNOW IF WE NEED
TO BE SHOWIN' MY MOTHER-IN-LAW MY ONION.
67
00:04:27,719 --> 00:04:31,588
- IT'S NOT YOUR ONION. IT'S THIS.
- WHOA! YOU CAN'T SHOW THAT!
68
00:04:32,591 --> 00:04:35,391
THAT'S YOUR SPINE.
69
00:04:35,460 --> 00:04:37,494
OH.
70
00:04:37,562 --> 00:04:42,032
HAVE YOU EVER HEARD OF SPINAL STENOSIS?
IT'S A NARROWING OF THE SPINAL CANAL.
71
00:04:42,100 --> 00:04:44,079
HAS ANYONE EVER MENTIONED
THIS TO YOU BEFORE?
72
00:04:44,103 --> 00:04:49,572
MY SPINE IS GETTING NARROW? IS THAT
WHY MY PANTS HAVE BEEN FEELIN' LOOSER?
73
00:04:56,281 --> 00:04:58,782
NO.
74
00:04:58,850 --> 00:05:03,720
STENOSIS IS A FAIRLY COMMON CONDITION. MOST
PEOPLE THAT HAVE IT NEVER EVEN KNOW IT.
75
00:05:03,789 --> 00:05:05,722
SO YOU'RE SAYIN'
IT'S NOT A PROBLEM?
76
00:05:05,791 --> 00:05:08,202
USUALLY THERE'S NO PROBLEM
LEADING A NORMAL, ACTIVE LIFE.
77
00:05:08,226 --> 00:05:11,461
THERE IS A PROBLEM, HOWEVER,
IF YOU'RE IN A CONTACT SPORT.
78
00:05:11,530 --> 00:05:13,763
- LIKE FOOTBALL.
- WHAT DO YOU MEAN?
79
00:05:13,832 --> 00:05:15,765
WELL, NO TEAM
WOULD TAKE THE RISK.
80
00:05:15,834 --> 00:05:19,736
A PLAYER COULD BECOME PARALYZED
BECAUSE OF THIS. THEY'D BE LIABLE.
81
00:05:19,805 --> 00:05:23,373
IF THEY HAD KNOWN ABOUT THIS, THERE IS
NO WAY THEY WOULD'VE PUT YOU ON THE TEAM.
82
00:05:26,010 --> 00:05:28,879
WELL, THEN DON'T TELL 'EM.
83
00:05:28,948 --> 00:05:31,447
I HAVE TO TELL 'EM. THEY
SENT YOU HERE, VAN.
84
00:05:31,516 --> 00:05:35,085
VAN? WHO'S VAN?
85
00:05:36,655 --> 00:05:38,922
MY NAME'S WURLY... STEVE WURLY.
86
00:05:38,991 --> 00:05:44,728
NOW, LADIES, IF YOU'LL COME WITH
ME. MRS. WURLY, MOTHER WURLY.
87
00:05:51,436 --> 00:05:54,003
HEY. HEY, BUDDY. HEY,
GUYS, HOW WAS THE DRIVE?
88
00:05:54,072 --> 00:05:58,274
OH, WE... WE WENT BY THE PARK AND SAW
THESE LITTLE TINY KIDS PLAYIN' FOOTBALL.
89
00:05:58,343 --> 00:06:03,913
AND I THOUGHT, "CHILDREN, STOP.
DON'T FALL IN LOVE WITH THIS SPORT.
90
00:06:03,982 --> 00:06:07,283
YOUR DREAMS ARE JUST GONNA GET RIPPED
TO SHREDS LIKE A BUNNY IN A WOOD CHIPPER!"
91
00:06:09,020 --> 00:06:13,123
ACTUALLY, UH, YOU DIDN'T REALLY
THINK IT. YOU... YOU KINDA YELLED IT.
92
00:06:13,191 --> 00:06:15,926
GOOD!
93
00:06:15,994 --> 00:06:18,795
THE TRUTH SHOULD BE YELLED! MAYBE
THAT'S WHAT I'LL DO WITH MY LIFE NOW.
94
00:06:18,864 --> 00:06:22,799
I'LL JUST WANDER AROUND
AND YELL THE TRUTH!
95
00:06:22,868 --> 00:06:27,036
BUT MAYBE NOT AT LITTLE KIDS,
'CAUSE THEY START TO CRY. YEAH.
96
00:06:27,105 --> 00:06:31,141
VAN, LOOK ON THE BRIGHT SIDE. THE DOCTOR
SAID THIS WOULDN'T AFFECT YOUR DAILY LIFE.
97
00:06:31,210 --> 00:06:33,810
YOU CAN STILL DO ALL THE THINGS
THAT A REGULAR PERSON CAN DO.
98
00:06:33,878 --> 00:06:37,514
MRS. H, I DON'T WANNA
BE A REGULAR PERSON.
99
00:06:42,888 --> 00:06:44,980
DAD, I HATE TO BRING
THIS UP, BUT I WAS HOPIN'
100
00:06:45,004 --> 00:06:46,890
I COULD ASK YOU SOME
FINANCIAL QUESTIONS.
101
00:06:46,958 --> 00:06:48,801
WE GOTTA FIGURE OUT
WHAT WE'RE GONNA DO
102
00:06:48,825 --> 00:06:51,027
MONEYWISE NOW THAT
VAN'S NOT GONNA BE WORKIN'.
103
00:06:51,096 --> 00:06:52,741
WELL, I CAN HELP.
WHEN YOUR DAD WAS
104
00:06:52,765 --> 00:06:54,864
FIDDLIN' AROUND WITH
THAT SILLY GOLF CAREER,
105
00:06:54,933 --> 00:06:58,568
I GOT QUITE GOOD
AT STRETCHIN' A BUCK.
106
00:06:58,637 --> 00:07:04,341
FIRST OF ALL, WINNING THE
PRESTO DRY CLEANER INVITATIONAL...
107
00:07:04,409 --> 00:07:06,342
WASN'T FIDDLING AROUND.
108
00:07:08,113 --> 00:07:10,046
OKAY? AND VAN IS
STILL UNDER CONTRACT.
109
00:07:10,115 --> 00:07:12,293
HE GETS PAID FOR THE
REST OF THE YEAR. REALLY?
110
00:07:12,317 --> 00:07:14,718
YEAH. YEAH. SO STOP
WORRYING, YOU TWO.
111
00:07:14,786 --> 00:07:19,288
YEAH. THAT'S RIGHT.
STOP WORRYING.
112
00:07:19,357 --> 00:07:22,759
EVERYTHING IS JUST GONNA BE...
113
00:07:22,828 --> 00:07:25,328
HUNKY-DORY.
114
00:07:25,396 --> 00:07:29,866
COME ON, BARBRA JEAN. LET'S SEE IF WE CAN
FIND SOMEBODY ELSE FOR YOU TO CHEER UP.
115
00:07:32,938 --> 00:07:34,871
HOW SAD.
116
00:07:34,940 --> 00:07:38,208
OKAY. LOOK, VAN, I AM GONNA GO TO THE
PHARMACY TO PICK UP YOUR PRESCRIPTIONS...
117
00:07:38,277 --> 00:07:40,343
FOR THOSE ANTI-INFLAMMATORIES
AND THOSE PAINKILLERS,
118
00:07:40,411 --> 00:07:44,080
OH, AND THAT TOPICAL
CREAM FOR YOUR BOTTOM.
119
00:07:49,288 --> 00:07:51,288
THANK YOU!
120
00:07:58,230 --> 00:08:02,432
SO HOW'S IT GOIN' THERE,
BUDDY? OH, NEVER FELT BETTER.
121
00:08:02,501 --> 00:08:04,445
I'M JUST SITTIN' HERE
TRYING TO DECIDE WHAT
122
00:08:04,469 --> 00:08:06,436
KIND OF CIGARETTES
I'M GONNA START SMOKIN'.
123
00:08:09,408 --> 00:08:13,777
LOOK, VAN, THIS IS A TOUGH SITUATION,
AND I'M NOT GONNA PRETEND LIKE IT ISN'T.
124
00:08:13,845 --> 00:08:17,914
BUT IT'S A MOTHER-IN-LAW'S JOB TO
POINT OUT THE GOOD IN EVERY SITUATION.
125
00:08:17,982 --> 00:08:22,085
OH, I THOUGHT IT WAS A MOTHER-IN LAW'S JOB
TO MAKE BUTT JOKES ABOUT HER SON-IN-LAW.
126
00:08:23,254 --> 00:08:25,188
WE WEAR MANY HATS.
127
00:08:27,559 --> 00:08:33,496
YOU'VE HAD A GREAT CAREER,
YOU'VE GOT A WONDERFUL FAMILY,
128
00:08:33,565 --> 00:08:37,567
AND NOW YOU GET TO FIND SOMETHIN' NEW AND
EXCITING TO DO WITH THE REST OF YOUR LIFE.
129
00:08:37,636 --> 00:08:41,604
BUT FOOTBALL WAS ALL I HAD.
THAT'S WHAT YOU THINK TODAY.
130
00:08:41,673 --> 00:08:46,443
YOU'LL FIND SOMETHIN'. GOD NEVER CLOSES
A DOOR WITHOUT OPENIN' ANOTHER ONE.
131
00:08:48,279 --> 00:08:50,781
LUCKY STRIKES.
132
00:08:56,054 --> 00:08:57,987
WHAT? YEAH.
133
00:08:58,056 --> 00:09:01,824
THAT'S THE KIND OF CIGARETTES I'M
GONNA START SMOKIN'... LUCKY STRIKES.
134
00:09:01,893 --> 00:09:05,361
THE IRONY WILL
JUST BE MAGNIFICENT!
135
00:09:06,631 --> 00:09:10,110
NO. LOOK, YOU'LL GET YOUR
BUYOUT FROM THE TEAM,
136
00:09:10,134 --> 00:09:12,379
AND THAT'LL GIVE YOU SOME
EXTRA TIME TO FIGURE THINGS OUT.
137
00:09:12,403 --> 00:09:14,332
I... I WASN'T GONNA
SAY THIS IN FRONT OF
138
00:09:14,356 --> 00:09:16,505
CHEYENNE, BUT THERE'S
NOT GONNA BE A BUYOUT.
139
00:09:16,574 --> 00:09:20,242
YOU HEARD THE DOCTOR. THIS
WAS A PREEXISTING CONDITION. SO?
140
00:09:20,311 --> 00:09:25,248
SO, I TALKED TO MY AGENT, AND THAT
MEANS THE TEAM DOESN'T OWE ME ANYTHING.
141
00:09:25,317 --> 00:09:27,250
OH, BOY.
142
00:09:27,319 --> 00:09:30,820
YEAH. SO MUCH FOR
BEIN' HUNKY-DORY!
143
00:09:33,491 --> 00:09:37,193
NO FOOTBALL, NO MONEY, NO LIFE.
144
00:09:37,262 --> 00:09:41,664
ALL I HAVE TO LOOK FORWARD TO
NOW IS A LIFETIME OF TOPICAL CREAMS...
145
00:09:42,935 --> 00:09:45,335
FOR MY BOTTOM!
146
00:09:55,280 --> 00:09:59,382
YOU KNOW WHO I BLAME FOR VAN
NOT GETTIN' PAID? THE LAWYERS.
147
00:09:59,451 --> 00:10:02,552
YEAH, THEY RUN EVERYTHING. AND
THEY'RE IN BED WITH THE DOCTORS.
148
00:10:02,621 --> 00:10:05,888
NOW, THE PEOPLE WHO
SHOULD BE RUNNING THINGS...
149
00:10:05,957 --> 00:10:10,660
THE DENTISTS... NOBODY COMES TO.
150
00:10:10,729 --> 00:10:14,063
BUT AREN'T "THE DENTIST" IN
BED WITH "THE DENTAL HYGIENIST"?
151
00:10:22,207 --> 00:10:25,942
SO NO SETTLEMENT, NO JOB, GREAT.
MY LIFE IS... IS TURNING OUT PERFECTLY.
152
00:10:26,011 --> 00:10:27,989
PRETTY SOON I WILL HAVE
ACHIEVED MY DREAM...
153
00:10:28,013 --> 00:10:31,581
OF BEING THE PRETTIEST
GIRL IN THE HOMELESS SHELTER.
154
00:10:31,649 --> 00:10:34,884
COME ON, SWEETIE. YOU
PUT SOME MONEY AWAY,
155
00:10:34,952 --> 00:10:36,604
AND WE'LL DO WHATEVER
WE CAN TO HELP OUT
156
00:10:36,628 --> 00:10:38,555
UNTIL VAN FIGURES OUT
WHAT HE'S GONNA DO NEXT.
157
00:10:38,623 --> 00:10:41,157
WELL, THAT'S JUST IT.
WHAT IS VAN GONNA DO NOW?
158
00:10:41,225 --> 00:10:43,226
TA-DA!
159
00:10:48,466 --> 00:10:52,202
OH, GOOD LORD.
HE'S BECOME A PIMP!
160
00:10:54,473 --> 00:10:57,352
Y'ALL WONDERIN' WHAT I'M DOING IN A
RICH GUY'S COAT? WELL, I'LL TELL YOU.
161
00:10:57,376 --> 00:11:00,076
- I'M A RICH GUY.
- WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?
162
00:11:00,144 --> 00:11:03,746
TALKIN' ABOUT BEIN' RICH, BABY.
163
00:11:03,815 --> 00:11:07,650
- THE TEAM GAVE ME
THE SETTLEMENT!
- WHOA, WHOA. HOLD ON A SECOND.
164
00:11:07,719 --> 00:11:10,465
I THOUGHT THEY WERE OFF THE HOOK
BECAUSE IT WAS A PREEXISTING CONDITION.
165
00:11:10,489 --> 00:11:12,888
THAT'S WHAT THEIR LAWYER
WAS SAYIN', BUT MY AGENT SAID...
166
00:11:12,957 --> 00:11:15,325
THEY DIDN'T FIND IT WHEN
I HAD MY FIRST PHYSICAL.
167
00:11:15,393 --> 00:11:18,595
AND THEN IT GOT KINDA DULL, AND
THEN I DOZED OFF. I DON'T KNOW.
168
00:11:18,663 --> 00:11:21,631
ALL I KNOW IS, WHEN I
WOKE UP, I WAS RICH!
169
00:11:21,700 --> 00:11:25,101
- OH, MY GOD.
- I'VE GOTTA SIT DOWN.
170
00:11:25,169 --> 00:11:28,471
SO I DON'T HAVE TO PRETEND THAT IT'S
ALL GONNA WORK OUT, 'CAUSE IT ACTUALLY...
171
00:11:28,539 --> 00:11:30,473
IS GONNA WORK OUT? YES.
172
00:11:30,542 --> 00:11:33,944
AND MRS. H, YOUR SUPPORT
THROUGH THIS WAS HUGE.
173
00:11:34,012 --> 00:11:36,279
YOU WERE MY ROCK.
174
00:11:36,347 --> 00:11:39,282
COME HERE.
175
00:11:39,350 --> 00:11:44,487
I ALSO WOULD LIKE TO PUBLICLY APOLOGIZE TO
GOD FOR CALLIN' HIM FAT, MEAN AND STUPID.
176
00:11:48,159 --> 00:11:50,093
HOW MUCH DID YOU GET? GUESS.
177
00:11:50,161 --> 00:11:52,106
VAN... WRONG. A HUNDRED GRAND.
178
00:11:52,130 --> 00:11:56,132
VAN? DON'T JOKE. I'M NOT. I GOT A
HUNDRED THOUSAND BUCKS, MINUS THE COAT.
179
00:11:56,201 --> 00:11:59,669
- WHOA. A HUNDRED GRAND?
- WELL, MINUS THE COAT.
180
00:11:59,738 --> 00:12:03,773
OH, VAN, DON'T TAKE IT OFF. I
HAVE TO DRAW YOU. YEAH. THAT'S IT.
181
00:12:03,842 --> 00:12:08,278
MRS. H, YOU WERE RIGHT. GOD DOES NOT
CLOSE ONE DOOR WITHOUT OPENIN' ANOTHER.
182
00:12:08,347 --> 00:12:10,646
AND SOMETIMES, BEHIND
THAT OTHER DOOR...
183
00:12:10,715 --> 00:12:14,584
IS A GUY HOLDIN' A CHECK WITH
A ONE AND FOUR ZEROS ON IT!
184
00:12:18,423 --> 00:12:21,024
ONE AND FOUR ZEROS IS 10,000.
185
00:12:24,763 --> 00:12:28,164
UH, FIVE. ONE AND
FIVE ZEROS, BABY!
186
00:12:28,232 --> 00:12:31,968
WE'RE RICH. I'VE GONE FROM, LIKE,
HOMELESS TO RICH IN, LIKE, TWO SECONDS.
187
00:12:32,037 --> 00:12:34,370
RICH IS WAY BETTER. I KNOW.
188
00:12:34,439 --> 00:12:36,806
I CAN FINALLY GET THAT
BOAT I'VE ALWAYS WANTED.
189
00:12:36,875 --> 00:12:40,043
- YOU NEVER WANTED A BOAT.
- I KNOW. I CAN FINALLY WANT A BOAT.
190
00:12:41,712 --> 00:12:44,880
YOU GUYS SHOULD
TRAVEL... SEE THE WORLD.
191
00:12:48,220 --> 00:12:52,088
KNOCK IT OFF. HE DIDN'T PICK
THAT MONEY OFF A TREE OUT FRONT.
192
00:12:52,157 --> 00:12:55,725
IT'S TO REPLACE HIS SALARY.
THIS MONEY SHOULD BE INVESTED.
193
00:12:55,794 --> 00:12:58,961
I'M WITH MRS. H. INVESTING
IS THE WAY TO GO.
194
00:12:59,030 --> 00:13:03,232
I JUST NEED TO DECIDE IF I WANT TO INVEST
IN BASEBALL CARDS OR ANTIQUE SWORDS.
195
00:13:03,301 --> 00:13:05,781
ANTIQUE SWORDS. ANTIQUE
SWORDS. ANTIQUE SWORDS.
196
00:13:07,271 --> 00:13:09,238
INVEST IN SOMETHIN' SAFE.
197
00:13:09,307 --> 00:13:11,285
BASEBALL CARDS. BASEBALL CARDS.
198
00:13:15,847 --> 00:13:18,248
I CAME INTO SOME MONEY ONCE.
199
00:13:18,316 --> 00:13:21,729
AND I WAS ALL SET TO BLOW IT
ON A PAIR OF DIAMOND EARRINGS,
200
00:13:21,753 --> 00:13:23,731
SOMETHIN' I'D WANTED
SINCE I WAS A LITTLE GIRL.
201
00:13:23,755 --> 00:13:27,923
BUT I KNEW IT WAS
FOOLISH, SO INSTEAD...
202
00:13:28,993 --> 00:13:31,071
I USED IT TO SECURE MY FUTURE.
203
00:13:31,095 --> 00:13:34,097
YOU ARE SO WISE.
204
00:13:34,165 --> 00:13:37,267
I'M GONNA DRAW YOU AS AN OWL.
205
00:13:38,536 --> 00:13:40,976
WITH FABIO BEHIND YOU.
206
00:13:43,775 --> 00:13:46,910
MOM, WHAT'D YOU
DO WITH THE MONEY?
207
00:13:46,978 --> 00:13:50,213
PUT YOUR DAD THROUGH DENTAL
SCHOOL. NOBODY SAY NOTHING!
208
00:13:58,857 --> 00:14:01,291
HEY, MOM, LISTEN.
209
00:14:04,161 --> 00:14:06,295
I LOVE THAT SONG. YEAH.
210
00:14:06,364 --> 00:14:08,798
- WHAT'S THAT?
- WELL, IT'S A GUITAR.
211
00:14:08,867 --> 00:14:10,867
I REALIZE IT'S A GUITAR, KYRA.
212
00:14:10,935 --> 00:14:14,970
THEY DID TEACH US A LITTLE
SOMETHIN' IN MORON SCHOOL.
213
00:14:15,039 --> 00:14:17,451
I MEANT, WHERE'D YOU GET
IT? VAN BOUGHT IF FOR ME.
214
00:14:17,475 --> 00:14:20,810
- WHY WOULD HE DO THAT?
- YESTERDAY, I WOULD'VE SAID
IT'S BECAUSE HE'S AN IDIOT.
215
00:14:20,879 --> 00:14:23,959
BUT TODAY, IT'S BECAUSE HE'S THE
BEST BROTHER-IN-LAW ON THE PLANET.
216
00:14:25,450 --> 00:14:28,751
MOM, YOU GOTTA COME UPSTAIRS
AND SEE THE XBOX VAN GOT ME.
217
00:14:28,820 --> 00:14:31,050
OKAY, WHAT'S GOIN'
ON? YOU CAN'T USE IT UP
218
00:14:31,074 --> 00:14:33,489
THERE. YOU DON'T EVEN
HAVE A TV IN YOUR ROOM.
219
00:14:33,558 --> 00:14:36,759
I DO NOW. I PUT IT RIGHT NEXT
TO MY NEW FOOSBALL TABLE.
220
00:14:39,464 --> 00:14:41,442
DON'T BREAK IT. IT'S GOIN' BACK.
221
00:14:41,466 --> 00:14:44,167
YEAH. I MEAN, WHY
WOULD HE NEED AN XBOX?
222
00:14:44,235 --> 00:14:47,470
YOU CAN'T WRITE A BEAUTIFUL SONG
ABOUT YOUR MOTHER ON A XBOX, LIKE...
223
00:14:47,538 --> 00:14:50,472
♪ I LOVE MY MOMMY, YEAH ♪
224
00:14:51,642 --> 00:14:53,576
WORK ON IT.
225
00:14:53,644 --> 00:14:55,811
WHERE'S VAN? HE'S OUT.
226
00:14:55,880 --> 00:14:57,960
YEAH, OUT OF HIS MIND.
DO YOU KNOW HE'S OUT
227
00:14:57,984 --> 00:15:00,283
BUYIN' STUFF LIKE THEY'RE
GONNA QUIT MAKIN' IT?
228
00:15:00,352 --> 00:15:05,922
UH-HUH. HEY, MOM, WHICH ONE OF
THESE CARS GOES BETTER WITH MY EYES?
229
00:15:13,564 --> 00:15:15,531
YOU'RE LOOKIN' AT CARS? YEAH.
230
00:15:15,600 --> 00:15:18,868
YESTERDAY, YOU WERE PRACTICALLY IN
TEARS WORRYIN' ABOUT NOT HAVIN' ANY MONEY.
231
00:15:18,937 --> 00:15:21,054
WELL, YESTERDAY, WE
DIDN'T HAVE ANY MONEY,
232
00:15:21,078 --> 00:15:23,372
BUT NOW WE DO, SO I'M
NOT WORRIED. I'M GIDDY.
233
00:15:23,441 --> 00:15:26,843
- - NO, NO, NO. YOU
DON'T WANNA BE GIDDY.
234
00:15:26,911 --> 00:15:30,713
GIDDY LIVES NEXT DOOR TO RECKLESS,
WHO SHARES AN APARTMENT WITH STUPID.
235
00:15:33,851 --> 00:15:35,851
TA-DA!
236
00:15:40,258 --> 00:15:44,126
THAT COAT LOOKS SO GREAT
ON YOU. I KNOW. I KNOW. YEAH.
237
00:15:44,195 --> 00:15:46,596
OH, SWEET VAN.
238
00:15:46,665 --> 00:15:48,872
I COMPLIMENT HIM ON
THE COAT, AND HE JUST
239
00:15:48,896 --> 00:15:51,400
TOOK IF OFF AND GAVE
IT TO ME... LIKE A MOVIE.
240
00:15:51,469 --> 00:15:55,838
HOPE NOBODY COMPLIMENTS
HIM ON HIS PANTS.
241
00:15:55,907 --> 00:15:59,241
HE'S GONNA GET A NEW COAT ON THE
WAY HOME FROM BUYIN' BROCK GOLF CLUBS.
242
00:15:59,310 --> 00:16:02,412
THAT KID IS GENEROUS TO A FAULT.
243
00:16:02,480 --> 00:16:04,647
YES, TO A FAULT.
244
00:16:04,716 --> 00:16:08,084
HE NEEDS TO USE THAT MONEY TO
LIVE ON UNTIL HE CAN FIND A NEW CAREER!
245
00:16:08,152 --> 00:16:10,253
MOM, THERE IS
PLENTY OF MONEY LEFT.
246
00:16:10,321 --> 00:16:14,490
CHEYENNE, THIS IS JUST DAY ONE.
ALL THAT STUFF HAS TO GO BACK.
247
00:16:21,465 --> 00:16:25,000
DO NOT... TOUCH... THE COAT.
248
00:16:25,069 --> 00:16:27,281
- GIVE IT TO ME. GIVE IT.
- NO. NO. NO.
249
00:16:27,305 --> 00:16:30,066
GIVE IT TO ME. NO, NO. COME ON.
250
00:16:40,418 --> 00:16:43,753
OH, HEY, MRS. H. YOU
DON'T NEED TO BE DOIN' THAT.
251
00:16:43,821 --> 00:16:47,022
IF THE CARPET'S DIRTY, I'LL
JUST BUY YOU A NEW HOUSE.
252
00:16:47,091 --> 00:16:52,061
WELL, THAT'S AWFULLY CRAZY OF YOU,
VAN, BUT, NO, THANKS. WE NEED TO TALK.
253
00:16:52,130 --> 00:16:55,197
OKAY, BUT MY TEAM'S ON THE TV IN
A FEW MINUTES. HEY, LISTEN TO THIS.
254
00:16:55,266 --> 00:16:57,567
SOMEBODY E-MAILED THEM
AND SAID THEY SHOULD ALL...
255
00:16:57,636 --> 00:17:01,070
WEAR A LITTLE STICKER WITH MY NUMBER
ON IT ON THE BACK OF THEIR HELMETS.
256
00:17:01,139 --> 00:17:03,372
OKAY, IT WAS ME.
257
00:17:04,842 --> 00:17:06,987
HEY, WHERE IS
EVERYBODY? WELL, LET'S SEE.
258
00:17:07,011 --> 00:17:10,279
CHEYENNE IS LOOKIN' AT CARS.
KYRA'S UP PLAYIN' HER GUITAR.
259
00:17:10,348 --> 00:17:14,050
YEAH. BROCK'S GOLFING. JAKE'S
PLAYIN' HIS NEW VIDEO GAMES.
260
00:17:14,119 --> 00:17:16,410
AND BARBRA JEAN'S
WALKIN' UP AND DOWN THE
261
00:17:16,434 --> 00:17:19,088
STREET IN HER NEW COAT
YELLIN', "CHECK IT OUT!"
262
00:17:19,157 --> 00:17:24,660
GOOD, 'CAUSE I DIDN'T WANT THEM TO GET
JEALOUS THAT I GOT YOU YOUR OWN PIZZA.
263
00:17:27,165 --> 00:17:32,368
YOU GOT ME A PIZZA. MM-HMM,
WITH EVERYTHING ON IT.
264
00:17:32,436 --> 00:17:36,172
VAN, I CAN'T ACCEPT YOUR PIZZA. ARE YOU MAD
'CAUSE I DIDN'T GET YOU SOMETHIN' NICER?
265
00:17:36,240 --> 00:17:41,844
WE NEED TO TALK. WELL,
I'M NOT TALKIN', UNLESS YOU...
266
00:17:41,913 --> 00:17:45,949
AH... EAT YOUR PIZZA.
267
00:17:46,017 --> 00:17:48,684
WHO WILL BLINK FIRST?
268
00:17:57,762 --> 00:18:02,799
YEAH-EAH-EAH. I GOT YOU! YOU
SHOULD'VE SEEN YOUR FACE. MMM.
269
00:18:02,867 --> 00:18:06,535
YOU'RE HILARIOUS WHEN YOU POUT.
270
00:18:09,741 --> 00:18:11,741
VAN, THESE ARE COMPLETELY...
271
00:18:11,809 --> 00:18:14,543
OH, GORGEOUS! OH, MY GOSH.
272
00:18:14,612 --> 00:18:17,680
WELL, YOU SAID YOU ALWAYS
WANTED DIAMOND EARRINGS.
273
00:18:17,749 --> 00:18:21,717
NOW YOU GOT THEM. I
DON'T KNOW WHAT TO SAY.
274
00:18:21,786 --> 00:18:25,554
JUST SAY WHAT'S IN
YOUR HEART, MRS. H. OKAY.
275
00:18:28,192 --> 00:18:31,393
HAVE YOU LOST WHAT
LITTLE SENSE GOD GAVE YOU?
276
00:18:31,462 --> 00:18:34,463
I THINK I'VE FIGURED OUT WHY
YOU DON'T GET A LOT OF GIFTS.
277
00:18:34,532 --> 00:18:36,999
VAN, YOU CAN'T DO THIS.
278
00:18:37,068 --> 00:18:40,114
YOU CAN'T RIP THROUGH THIS MONEY
LIKE A BAG OF SOUR CREAM POTATO CHIPS.
279
00:18:40,138 --> 00:18:43,539
I'M NOT RIPPIN' THROUGH IT.
50,000 GOES PRETTY QUICK.
280
00:18:43,608 --> 00:18:47,677
IT'S A HUNDRED GRAND. YOU HAVE
TO PAY A LITTLE THING CALLED TAXES.
281
00:18:47,745 --> 00:18:51,047
YOU GOTTA PAY TAXES ON THAT
MONEY, AND IT'LL BE ABOUT HALF.
282
00:18:51,115 --> 00:18:52,848
HALF?
283
00:18:52,917 --> 00:18:54,984
YEAH.
284
00:18:55,053 --> 00:18:58,320
I THOUGHT BUSH WAS
LOOKIN' OUT FOR US RICH GUYS.
285
00:18:59,657 --> 00:19:02,617
HALF. AND WHAT'S
LEFT AFTER TAXES...
286
00:19:02,660 --> 00:19:06,106
WILL HAVE TO LAST UNTIL YOU FIGURE WHAT
YOU'RE GONNA DO WITH THE REST OF YOUR LIFE.
287
00:19:06,130 --> 00:19:09,398
IT'S NOT TO BLOW ON A
BUNCH OF DUMB GIFTS...
288
00:19:09,467 --> 00:19:12,101
AND ONE GORGEOUS
PAIR OF EARRINGS.
289
00:19:16,106 --> 00:19:18,741
WHAT'S GOIN' ON?
290
00:19:18,810 --> 00:19:22,345
I DON'T KNOW. I GUESS I JUST LIKED THE
WAY IT FELT WHEN I GAVE PEOPLE STUFF...
291
00:19:22,414 --> 00:19:24,580
THE WAY THEY LOOKED
AT ME WITH THAT LOOK.
292
00:19:24,649 --> 00:19:27,261
WHAT LOOK? THAT LOOK
EVERYBODY USED TO GIVE ME...
293
00:19:27,285 --> 00:19:29,536
WHEN I HAD A GOOD GAME
OR GOT WRITTEN ABOUT
294
00:19:29,560 --> 00:19:31,888
IN THE PAPER... YOU
KNOW, LIKE I WAS A HERO.
295
00:19:31,956 --> 00:19:35,191
OH. THAT LOOK.
296
00:19:35,260 --> 00:19:39,861
AND NOW THAT I'M NOT PLAYIN' FOOTBALL
ANYMORE, I'M NOT GONNA GET THAT LOOK.
297
00:19:39,930 --> 00:19:42,364
I GO BACK TO BEIN' DUMB OLD VAN.
298
00:19:44,168 --> 00:19:48,136
I THINK I KNOW A WAY YOU CAN GET THAT
HERO LOOK WITHOUT BEIN' DIAMOND JIM BRADY.
299
00:19:48,205 --> 00:19:51,406
ME TOO... RESCUE SOMEONE
FROM A BURNING BUILDING.
300
00:19:53,611 --> 00:19:58,147
BUT THERE ARE NEVER ANY
FIRES IN THIS NEIGHBORHOOD.
301
00:19:59,784 --> 00:20:02,395
YOU WANT PEOPLE TO
LOOK AT YOU LIKE A HERO?
302
00:20:02,419 --> 00:20:06,221
THEN BE A HERO. DO SOMETHIN'
HEROIC WITH YOUR LIFE.
303
00:20:06,290 --> 00:20:10,660
DEAL WITH THIS TOUGH TIME THAT
YOU'RE GOIN' THROUGH. FIND YOUR WAY.
304
00:20:14,799 --> 00:20:18,634
I DON'T KNOW WHAT'S GONNA
HAPPEN TO ME, MRS. H. THAT'S OKAY.
305
00:20:18,703 --> 00:20:20,703
HEROES NEVER DO.
306
00:20:22,106 --> 00:20:25,106
NOW HERE. WHY DON'T
YOU TAKE THESE BACK...
307
00:20:32,584 --> 00:20:34,783
LATER.
308
00:20:34,852 --> 00:20:38,588
'CAUSE RIGHT NOW, I'M GONNA RUN UP
AND DOWN THE STREET WITH BARBRA JEAN.
309
00:20:39,657 --> 00:20:41,657
CHECK IT OUT!
310
00:21:15,526 --> 00:21:18,460
ACME!
26680
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