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1
00:01:26,754 --> 00:01:28,688
Why isn't this
stupid thing workin'?
2
00:01:28,690 --> 00:01:30,122
See, that's that bullshit.
3
00:01:30,124 --> 00:01:31,591
I'm taking this shit
right back to Best Buy.
4
00:01:33,193 --> 00:01:34,760
Or not.
5
00:01:34,762 --> 00:01:36,596
Stupid lens cap.
6
00:01:36,598 --> 00:01:38,598
Wow!
7
00:01:38,600 --> 00:01:39,732
Brand-new camera.
8
00:01:39,734 --> 00:01:41,867
I'm filming
everything with this.
9
00:01:41,869 --> 00:01:44,971
Christmas, New Year's,
vagina.
10
00:01:44,973 --> 00:01:48,874
All right.
Today is the big day.
11
00:01:48,876 --> 00:01:51,077
My girlfriend
Kisha's moving in.
12
00:01:51,079 --> 00:01:53,112
Now, all my boys
keep telling me,
"Don't do it, don't do it,
13
00:01:53,114 --> 00:01:55,147
"because everything's
gonna change.
14
00:01:55,149 --> 00:01:56,649
"She's gonna take
over your house.
15
00:01:56,651 --> 00:01:57,683
"She's never
gonna cook again.
16
00:01:57,685 --> 00:01:59,051
"And worst of all,
17
00:01:59,053 --> 00:02:01,287
"you're putting
your dick in jail."
18
00:02:01,289 --> 00:02:02,955
I think they're trippin'.
19
00:02:02,957 --> 00:02:05,725
Once she moves in,
everything's gonna
be perfect.
20
00:02:05,727 --> 00:02:07,226
Place looks nice.
21
00:02:07,228 --> 00:02:09,028
Baby boy cleaned up
for you, huh?
22
00:02:09,030 --> 00:02:10,796
Oh, shit!
23
00:02:10,798 --> 00:02:12,164
Rosa!
24
00:02:13,735 --> 00:02:15,334
Hey, you gotta
announce yourself.
25
00:02:15,336 --> 00:02:17,236
You can't just
creep up on me.
26
00:02:17,238 --> 00:02:19,038
Aw, come on.
This is my
housekeeper, Rosa.
27
00:02:19,040 --> 00:02:21,307
Say hi. Say hi.
Say hi!
28
00:02:21,309 --> 00:02:23,142
Hi! Hola.Say "Hola." Hola.
29
00:02:23,144 --> 00:02:24,276
Bye-bye!
30
00:02:28,116 --> 00:02:29,749
Ay, ay, ay, ay, ay!
31
00:02:29,751 --> 00:02:31,717
Do this.
Oh!
32
00:02:31,719 --> 00:02:33,119
I'm a big bambino?
33
00:02:36,124 --> 00:02:37,957
You know I love you.
34
00:02:37,959 --> 00:02:40,693
Hey, Shiloh!
Say hi to Mommy.
35
00:02:40,695 --> 00:02:43,229
I'm gonna hump you
on your leg, Kisha.
That's right.
36
00:02:43,231 --> 00:02:44,864
And I'm gonna lick you
all over your face
37
00:02:44,866 --> 00:02:46,932
with my dog-ball mouth.
38
00:02:48,269 --> 00:02:50,102
Oh, shit.
Here she comes.
39
00:02:50,104 --> 00:02:51,237
Hi, baby!
40
00:02:51,239 --> 00:02:52,438
Hey, baby! Hi!
41
00:02:53,941 --> 00:02:55,841
No, no, Shiloh!
Wait! No, no, no, no!
42
00:02:55,843 --> 00:02:57,777
Shiloh! What did you do?
43
00:02:57,779 --> 00:02:59,145
I didn't see him!
What did you do?
44
00:02:59,147 --> 00:03:00,212
I'm so sorry.
45
00:03:01,281 --> 00:03:02,214
Oh, my God!
46
00:03:03,183 --> 00:03:04,250
Shiloh, come on, breathe.
47
00:03:04,252 --> 00:03:05,351
Maybe he's
just playing dead.
48
00:03:05,353 --> 00:03:07,420
He doesn't know
how to play dead.
49
00:03:07,422 --> 00:03:09,922
He knows how to shake hands.
He knows how to fetch.
50
00:03:09,924 --> 00:03:11,991
He knows how to roll over.
51
00:03:11,993 --> 00:03:12,992
He don't know
how to play dead.
52
00:03:12,994 --> 00:03:14,694
Come on, Shiloh, breathe.
53
00:03:14,696 --> 00:03:16,829
One, two, three.
Breathe.
54
00:03:16,831 --> 00:03:18,831
Aww!
55
00:03:18,833 --> 00:03:20,366
Give me
the jumper cables.
The jumper cables?
56
00:03:20,368 --> 00:03:22,735
Give me
the goddamn jumper cables!
57
00:03:22,737 --> 00:03:24,303
Don't you die on me!
58
00:03:24,305 --> 00:03:26,472
Start the car!
59
00:03:26,474 --> 00:03:28,374
Clear! Go!
60
00:03:28,376 --> 00:03:29,809
Oh, shit!
61
00:03:33,748 --> 00:03:34,447
Meet me at the hospital!
62
00:03:37,251 --> 00:03:39,151
The hospital's that way!
63
00:03:39,153 --> 00:03:40,386
Don't go towards
the light, Shiloh!
64
00:03:43,957 --> 00:03:45,925
You're in
a better place now, buddy.
65
00:03:45,927 --> 00:03:47,393
I'm so, so sorry.
66
00:03:48,295 --> 00:03:50,096
It's okay, baby.
67
00:03:50,098 --> 00:03:52,932
It's...
It's not your fault.
Yes, it is.
68
00:03:52,934 --> 00:03:55,768
You know, look...
Look on the bright side.
69
00:03:55,770 --> 00:03:57,737
I'm allergic to dogs.
70
00:03:57,739 --> 00:04:00,039
I know, but that's what
was so great about Shiloh.
71
00:04:01,308 --> 00:04:03,309
He was hypoallergenic.
72
00:04:04,377 --> 00:04:07,246
Shiloh!
73
00:04:19,893 --> 00:04:23,229
Oh, my God!
Look at all this shit.
74
00:04:23,231 --> 00:04:25,865
Okay, Malcolm,
this is the last box.
75
00:04:25,867 --> 00:04:28,501
What's with the camera?
76
00:04:28,503 --> 00:04:30,002
I'm documenting
our lives together.
77
00:04:30,004 --> 00:04:31,103
Say hi.
78
00:04:31,105 --> 00:04:34,140
Hi! Okay. Mmm.
79
00:04:34,142 --> 00:04:35,941
That ass
lookin' nice, baby.
80
00:04:35,943 --> 00:04:38,210
Hey, hey.
Pan up, pan up.
I see that.
81
00:04:38,212 --> 00:04:40,079
Baby, you are officially
a hoarder.
82
00:04:40,081 --> 00:04:41,981
I swear to God, I'm gonna
open one of these boxes
83
00:04:41,983 --> 00:04:44,250
and find, like, a dead cat
and an old
baloney sandwich in it.
84
00:04:44,252 --> 00:04:46,051
Ha, ha, ha.
Very funny.
85
00:04:46,053 --> 00:04:48,154
Oh, my God.
Do you need these?
86
00:04:48,156 --> 00:04:49,455
Yes! These are...
For what?
87
00:04:49,457 --> 00:04:51,457
These are good
wedding shoes!
88
00:04:51,459 --> 00:04:54,026
One to 10, what are you
feeling right now about that?
89
00:04:54,028 --> 00:04:56,428
Um, 8.7.
90
00:04:56,430 --> 00:04:58,430
What do you
feel about that?
Nine. Nine.
91
00:04:58,432 --> 00:05:01,801
No, wait! Come on. Come on.
What's this? Hold on.
92
00:05:01,803 --> 00:05:04,336
This is a box that my aunt
brought from Kenya.
93
00:05:05,939 --> 00:05:07,106
This is a nine, too.
94
00:05:07,108 --> 00:05:08,474
Oh, my God!
95
00:05:08,476 --> 00:05:12,111
Hi, my name is Kisha Davis,
and I'm a hoarder.
96
00:05:15,315 --> 00:05:16,582
There's shame.
97
00:05:18,418 --> 00:05:20,219
Oh, wow.
98
00:05:20,221 --> 00:05:22,321
Are these
your daddy's ashes?
99
00:05:22,323 --> 00:05:24,924
Yes, Malcolm.
They go where I go.
100
00:05:24,926 --> 00:05:27,493
So, we're gonna
have his ghost
watching over us?
101
00:05:27,495 --> 00:05:32,198
Just put him in
the other room.
He likes to watch TV.
102
00:05:32,200 --> 00:05:33,365
He's dead.
What's he gonna watch?
103
00:05:33,367 --> 00:05:34,934
American Horror Story?
104
00:05:36,536 --> 00:05:38,604
Okay, babe,
these video games,
they have to go.
105
00:05:38,606 --> 00:05:40,239
Wait. Leave my
video games alone.
They're tacky.
106
00:05:40,241 --> 00:05:45,344
- I'm not gonna break it.
- Give me my camera!
107
00:05:51,084 --> 00:05:54,086
"Negra?"Did she
just call me a nigger?
108
00:05:54,088 --> 00:05:56,021
What? What?
109
00:05:56,023 --> 00:05:57,590
I will lambada your ass!
110
00:05:57,592 --> 00:05:59,091
English! English!
Speak English!
111
00:05:59,093 --> 00:06:00,359
Baby. Baby. Baby!
112
00:06:00,361 --> 00:06:02,361
You know she
don't like me, right?
113
00:06:02,363 --> 00:06:03,596
Oh, I know
what's going on here.
114
00:06:03,598 --> 00:06:07,266
You got some
Schwarzenegger stuff
going on in here, right?
115
00:06:07,268 --> 00:06:09,201
Really?
Yeah, okay, yeah.
116
00:06:09,203 --> 00:06:13,973
Yeah, we're gonna
have a nappy-haired baby
that speaks perfect Spanish.
117
00:06:13,975 --> 00:06:15,407
Come on.
Think about it.
Okay.
118
00:06:16,977 --> 00:06:18,611
Mmm.
119
00:06:18,613 --> 00:06:20,613
Mmm.
120
00:06:20,615 --> 00:06:22,581
Hungry there, buddy?
Mm-hmm.
121
00:06:22,583 --> 00:06:24,283
You're over there eating
like the Cookie Monster.
122
00:06:26,287 --> 00:06:28,020
Can I just enjoy
my food, please?
123
00:06:28,022 --> 00:06:30,122
Wow. Somebody's crabby.
124
00:06:31,391 --> 00:06:33,993
I'm sorry.
I'm just tired.
125
00:06:33,995 --> 00:06:37,263
I haven't been sleeping well.
I keep hearing these noises.
126
00:06:37,998 --> 00:06:39,531
Scary.
127
00:06:39,533 --> 00:06:42,334
Well, you don't have
to be afraid, okay?
128
00:06:42,336 --> 00:06:44,236
'Cause you're
living with me now.
129
00:06:44,238 --> 00:06:46,472
And nobody's gonna
hurt you on my watch.
130
00:06:46,474 --> 00:06:47,907
Okay?
Okay.
131
00:06:51,378 --> 00:06:53,345
Unless the nigger
got a gun.
132
00:06:53,347 --> 00:06:55,014
Then you on your own.
133
00:06:57,984 --> 00:06:59,051
What?
134
00:07:01,388 --> 00:07:03,956
Hey, baby, what you doin'?
135
00:07:03,958 --> 00:07:07,359
Well, it's time to
put on something
a little more comfortable.
136
00:07:07,361 --> 00:07:09,328
Aha! That's what
I'm talkin' about!
137
00:07:10,431 --> 00:07:12,131
Fellas,
get out your pen and pads.
138
00:07:12,133 --> 00:07:14,967
We about to give
you a sex tutorial.
Let's do this.
139
00:07:28,014 --> 00:07:30,449
Mmm. Oh.
140
00:07:30,451 --> 00:07:32,217
Yeah.
141
00:07:33,286 --> 00:07:35,120
Oh, you got the beat!
142
00:07:35,122 --> 00:07:36,555
Oh! Stop.
143
00:07:36,557 --> 00:07:38,257
Stop. Not yet. Not... Ahh!
144
00:07:41,262 --> 00:07:43,062
You gonna bring
a friend there, huh?
145
00:07:43,064 --> 00:07:44,697
Ah. Ah.
146
00:07:44,699 --> 00:07:47,099
Uh-huh? Watch that.
Uh-huh.
147
00:07:47,101 --> 00:07:49,435
Now you get some, yeah.
Watch. Watch.
148
00:07:49,437 --> 00:07:50,502
Ah, taste that.
149
00:07:50,504 --> 00:07:52,671
Look at Daddy. Uh-huh.
150
00:07:55,076 --> 00:07:57,209
Two dogs, one duck.
151
00:07:57,211 --> 00:07:58,310
Get it nasty.
You nasty.
152
00:08:01,448 --> 00:08:03,082
Go home.
153
00:08:03,084 --> 00:08:05,184
I want you by myself. Yeah.
154
00:08:06,086 --> 00:08:08,053
Shh.
155
00:08:08,055 --> 00:08:09,688
Oh. Oh, shit!
That's still hot!
156
00:08:09,690 --> 00:08:12,291
Shut up. Take it.
You just take it.
157
00:08:15,629 --> 00:08:17,129
Take it, take it, take it.
158
00:08:17,131 --> 00:08:19,231
Baby!
Yeah, baby?
159
00:08:19,233 --> 00:08:23,369
I cannot believe
this is our first night
living together!
160
00:08:23,371 --> 00:08:25,371
Yeah. It's nice, huh?
Uh-huh.
161
00:08:25,373 --> 00:08:27,272
I can't wait to
lie next to you.
162
00:08:27,274 --> 00:08:29,541
Oh, me, too.
Gotta go, baby.
163
00:08:29,543 --> 00:08:31,110
It was fun.
164
00:08:34,514 --> 00:08:36,115
Whoo!
165
00:08:36,117 --> 00:08:37,649
Get in.
166
00:08:37,651 --> 00:08:38,784
Whoo-hoo-hoo!
167
00:08:38,786 --> 00:08:40,085
Here I come!
168
00:08:40,087 --> 00:08:41,020
Okay, honey.
169
00:08:46,259 --> 00:08:48,627
Baby, you are
the sexiest woman...
170
00:08:48,629 --> 00:08:51,263
What the hell?
171
00:08:51,265 --> 00:08:55,267
You know, Malcolm,
not everybody goes to bed
looking like a supermodel.
172
00:08:55,269 --> 00:08:57,269
Apparently not.
You know?
173
00:08:57,271 --> 00:08:58,804
Besides,
what is wrong
with my outfit?
174
00:08:58,806 --> 00:09:00,739
Nothin',
if you lived in a box
underneath the freeway.
175
00:09:00,741 --> 00:09:02,441
What?
176
00:09:02,443 --> 00:09:04,343
Come on!
Hold the sign up,
please?
177
00:09:06,580 --> 00:09:07,780
Can I go to bed?
178
00:09:07,782 --> 00:09:09,214
No, you gotta
get the joke first!
179
00:09:09,216 --> 00:09:10,315
Come on.
180
00:09:10,317 --> 00:09:11,450
All right.
Okay, fine.
181
00:09:11,452 --> 00:09:12,618
Okay. I'm ready.
182
00:09:12,620 --> 00:09:14,453
All right. Go ahead.
183
00:09:14,455 --> 00:09:16,355
Spare change?
184
00:09:16,357 --> 00:09:18,090
You stupid!
185
00:09:32,439 --> 00:09:34,740
I love you.
Good night.
186
00:09:54,728 --> 00:09:56,128
God!
187
00:10:01,669 --> 00:10:04,203
How could someone
so cute be so stink?
188
00:10:04,205 --> 00:10:06,238
Oh, Jesus Christ!
189
00:10:09,376 --> 00:10:12,578
Oh, really?
Oh, God!
190
00:10:14,214 --> 00:10:15,781
What crawled up
your ass and died?
191
00:10:15,783 --> 00:10:17,182
Shit!
192
00:10:17,184 --> 00:10:18,851
Really?
193
00:10:18,853 --> 00:10:20,452
You ain't
allowed to move in here
and do this shit.
194
00:10:20,454 --> 00:10:21,553
Mm-mmm.
195
00:10:21,555 --> 00:10:23,322
Mm-mmm.
196
00:10:23,324 --> 00:10:24,857
Ugh!
197
00:10:24,859 --> 00:10:27,159
Aah!
198
00:10:28,528 --> 00:10:30,429
It's alive! What?
199
00:10:33,200 --> 00:10:35,534
Oh! Oh! Oh, fuck!
200
00:10:35,536 --> 00:10:37,269
Oh!
201
00:10:37,271 --> 00:10:38,871
I heard that.
202
00:10:42,709 --> 00:10:45,644
So, we didn't
have sex last night.
203
00:10:45,646 --> 00:10:49,314
Kisha didn't cook,
and she killed my dog.
204
00:10:49,316 --> 00:10:51,650
But other than that,
205
00:10:51,652 --> 00:10:54,219
I guess this moving-in thing
is gonna be pretty cool.
206
00:10:56,189 --> 00:10:58,924
Malcolm! Malcolm!
207
00:10:58,926 --> 00:11:00,359
What's up?
208
00:11:00,361 --> 00:11:03,195
My keys are on the floor.
209
00:11:03,197 --> 00:11:04,363
Okay.
210
00:11:04,365 --> 00:11:05,831
Malcolm.
What?
211
00:11:05,833 --> 00:11:07,866
Something weird
is going on here.
212
00:11:07,868 --> 00:11:09,601
If you mean
something weird
213
00:11:09,603 --> 00:11:11,236
like you farting
in your sleep,
yes, there is.
214
00:11:11,238 --> 00:11:13,305
No, no.
215
00:11:13,307 --> 00:11:14,239
I think we have a ghost.
216
00:11:14,241 --> 00:11:15,541
A ghost?
217
00:11:15,543 --> 00:11:18,310
Yeah, okay.
No, you have a ghost
in your ass.
218
00:11:18,312 --> 00:11:22,447
I wanna bring a psychic
to tell us what's going on.
219
00:11:22,449 --> 00:11:23,582
A psychic?
220
00:11:23,584 --> 00:11:25,284
Ah, come on, Kish.
That's ridiculous.
221
00:11:25,286 --> 00:11:26,952
Look, I'll tell you
what's going on, okay?
222
00:11:26,954 --> 00:11:28,787
Some neighborhood kid
came in here,
223
00:11:28,789 --> 00:11:30,622
stole something
out of your purse,
and then he left...
224
00:11:30,624 --> 00:11:33,625
No. See, if anyone
is stealing anything,
225
00:11:33,627 --> 00:11:35,694
it is you-know-who, okay?
226
00:11:37,664 --> 00:11:40,499
Hey, girl!
227
00:11:40,501 --> 00:11:43,702
Okay, we have no idea
what she's doing
when we're not here.
228
00:11:43,704 --> 00:11:46,205
Why is she
always wearing gloves?
229
00:11:46,207 --> 00:11:47,539
Okay, fine.
I'll take care of it.
230
00:11:47,541 --> 00:11:48,607
Guilty.
231
00:11:51,212 --> 00:11:52,344
Hey, I'm Dan
the Security Man.
232
00:11:52,346 --> 00:11:53,645
Hey, how you doin'?
Nice to meet you.
233
00:11:53,647 --> 00:11:56,915
Hey, I'm sorry, buddy.
I didn't see you back there.
234
00:11:56,917 --> 00:11:58,917
That's my associate, Bob.
Actually, he's my brother.
235
00:11:58,919 --> 00:12:00,385
He's a simple...
236
00:12:00,387 --> 00:12:03,655
He used to
play in the dryer.
We turned it on once.
237
00:12:05,693 --> 00:12:06,792
Whoa, whoa!
238
00:12:06,794 --> 00:12:08,260
Hey, yo,
you better back up!
239
00:12:08,262 --> 00:12:09,361
What's the problem?
240
00:12:09,363 --> 00:12:10,662
We're here to
install cameras.
241
00:12:10,664 --> 00:12:12,531
Yeah.
Not to be filmed
on camera.
242
00:12:12,533 --> 00:12:13,665
'Cause I'm doing
my own reality show.
243
00:12:13,667 --> 00:12:15,000
Well, I'm not
signing anything.
244
00:12:15,002 --> 00:12:16,868
And I can't write.
He can't write.
245
00:12:16,870 --> 00:12:18,270
Blur this out.
246
00:12:18,938 --> 00:12:20,672
Mosaic.
Okay.
247
00:12:20,674 --> 00:12:22,341
What is he doing?
248
00:12:22,343 --> 00:12:23,976
Is the owner home?
249
00:12:23,978 --> 00:12:25,444
You're talking to him.
250
00:12:25,446 --> 00:12:27,446
Yeah, right!
251
00:12:27,448 --> 00:12:28,547
Wow.
252
00:12:28,549 --> 00:12:31,450
Oh. Wow. Okay.
253
00:12:31,452 --> 00:12:33,986
All right. Now, that camera
covers your entire backyard.
254
00:12:33,988 --> 00:12:35,887
It's cool.
255
00:12:35,889 --> 00:12:37,889
Let's say you and the missus
are having
a pool party, right?
256
00:12:37,891 --> 00:12:39,658
You know, you're grilling up
some fried chicken,
257
00:12:39,660 --> 00:12:42,861
probably some ribs.
258
00:12:42,863 --> 00:12:44,963
Hot wings,
some pig knuckle,
259
00:12:44,965 --> 00:12:46,365
strimps.
260
00:12:47,400 --> 00:12:49,735
You know,
maybe some corn bread.
261
00:12:49,737 --> 00:12:52,671
I'd say watermelon,
but that might
be racist, right?
262
00:12:52,673 --> 00:12:54,806
Corn bread was
pretty close.
263
00:12:54,808 --> 00:12:57,442
Not really.
Country folks
eat corn bread.
264
00:12:58,044 --> 00:12:59,845
Can I say it?
265
00:12:59,847 --> 00:13:01,413
You talking
about the "N" word?
Yeah.
266
00:13:01,415 --> 00:13:02,614
No. It's not appropriate.
267
00:13:02,616 --> 00:13:03,915
I see.
268
00:13:03,917 --> 00:13:05,417
Are you...
Is he serious?
269
00:13:05,419 --> 00:13:06,952
You can call me
a cracker.
270
00:13:08,488 --> 00:13:09,554
I don't want to.
I just want...
271
00:13:09,556 --> 00:13:10,789
Let me say it.
272
00:13:10,791 --> 00:13:15,360
If you say it, I'm going to
punch you in your face.
273
00:13:18,698 --> 00:13:19,831
Anyway...
Wow.
274
00:13:19,833 --> 00:13:21,867
Maybe later things
get a little freaky.
275
00:13:21,869 --> 00:13:25,437
You and the
old lady in the 'cuzzi,
buck naked, right?
276
00:13:25,439 --> 00:13:27,673
Little Black Mamba's
ready to strike.
277
00:13:27,675 --> 00:13:30,008
That camera will
catch all of it.
278
00:13:30,010 --> 00:13:32,010
Nice!
So, all you gotta do,
go upstairs,
279
00:13:32,012 --> 00:13:35,714
clickity-clack
on the computer,
beat off to the highlights.
280
00:13:35,716 --> 00:13:37,349
Yeah.
281
00:13:37,351 --> 00:13:38,917
Holler!
282
00:13:39,585 --> 00:13:40,952
Holler!
283
00:13:42,589 --> 00:13:44,022
Do it.
No.
284
00:13:44,024 --> 00:13:45,757
Holler!
285
00:13:45,759 --> 00:13:47,559
Are you really gonna
make me do this here?
286
00:13:47,561 --> 00:13:48,627
Camera Guys.
287
00:13:48,629 --> 00:13:50,762
Holler!
288
00:13:50,764 --> 00:13:53,598
Got you all tied in.
Mm-hmm.
289
00:13:53,600 --> 00:13:55,767
Uh, just hit
the space bar, the mouse,
you flash from the kitchen.
290
00:13:55,769 --> 00:13:56,868
Mm-hmm?
291
00:13:56,870 --> 00:13:57,936
Entryway.
292
00:13:57,938 --> 00:13:59,938
Backyard.
Living room.
293
00:13:59,940 --> 00:14:01,673
I even tied in the webcam.
Nice.
294
00:14:01,675 --> 00:14:03,742
Yeah.
Oh, I like that.
That's cool.
295
00:14:03,744 --> 00:14:05,477
Here's something
you wanna think about.
296
00:14:05,479 --> 00:14:07,813
You can remote
access these things
from wherever you are.
297
00:14:07,815 --> 00:14:10,582
I can set that up if you want.
Just give me your pass code.
298
00:14:10,584 --> 00:14:12,584
No. Not gonna happen.
299
00:14:12,586 --> 00:14:14,119
Good choice.
Nice try.
300
00:14:14,121 --> 00:14:15,921
But you could set that up
if you want to.
301
00:14:15,923 --> 00:14:17,589
You're out of town
on a business trip,
302
00:14:17,591 --> 00:14:18,724
you might wanna
check up on the missus,
303
00:14:18,726 --> 00:14:19,991
make sure she's safe.
304
00:14:19,993 --> 00:14:21,560
Right.
305
00:14:21,562 --> 00:14:22,994
Or whatever she's doing!
Yeah.
306
00:14:22,996 --> 00:14:24,963
You know,
girls, they like to have
307
00:14:24,965 --> 00:14:27,799
a girls' time when
you're out of town.
308
00:14:27,801 --> 00:14:29,034
And why wouldn't they,
you know?
309
00:14:29,036 --> 00:14:31,937
You don't
expect things like...
310
00:14:31,939 --> 00:14:35,006
You know, she's
spread eagle on the floor,
banging the mailman.
311
00:14:35,008 --> 00:14:36,775
"Special delivery!"
312
00:14:36,777 --> 00:14:37,976
Not on our bed!
313
00:14:39,445 --> 00:14:40,879
You dirty bird!
314
00:14:40,881 --> 00:14:42,647
In front of the dog!
Is he serious?
315
00:14:42,649 --> 00:14:44,883
Oh, the dog's so upset!
316
00:14:45,385 --> 00:14:47,119
I mean, you know,
317
00:14:47,121 --> 00:14:49,988
you're at a security
convention in Albuquerque
318
00:14:49,990 --> 00:14:52,691
screaming at the top of
your lungs at a Quality Inn!
319
00:14:52,693 --> 00:14:54,159
I remember Albuquerque.
320
00:14:54,161 --> 00:14:57,796
You can't scratch your way
through the camera!
321
00:14:57,798 --> 00:14:59,965
Kinda reminds me,
I gotta mail out some bills
322
00:14:59,967 --> 00:15:01,433
before the
end of the month.
323
00:15:01,435 --> 00:15:03,635
Uh, it's okay, man.
It's okay.
324
00:15:03,637 --> 00:15:05,937
Bobby, you better not
be recording.
325
00:15:05,939 --> 00:15:07,706
Uh, Bobby?
Yeah, I got
the whole thing.
326
00:15:07,708 --> 00:15:08,673
Don't do this shit
in my house.
327
00:15:10,010 --> 00:15:12,711
It's okay. Okay.
All right. I understand.
328
00:15:12,713 --> 00:15:15,046
Okay.
329
00:15:15,048 --> 00:15:17,516
Why are you installing
all these
security cameras anyway?
330
00:15:17,518 --> 00:15:18,550
Uh, we may have
a burglar.
331
00:15:18,552 --> 00:15:19,684
Or a ghost.
332
00:15:19,686 --> 00:15:20,919
A burglar.
Ghost.
333
00:15:20,921 --> 00:15:24,890
Well, it just so happens
I have my own ghost hunter
reality show.
334
00:15:24,892 --> 00:15:25,791
Do you wanna know
what it's called?
335
00:15:25,793 --> 00:15:27,659
I got one, too.
336
00:15:27,661 --> 00:15:29,694
Wild guess, American Ghost?
337
00:15:29,696 --> 00:15:31,163
Wrong!
Ghost Guys.
338
00:15:31,165 --> 00:15:34,099
It is trademarked,
so don't get
any funny ideas.
339
00:15:34,101 --> 00:15:36,101
I definitely won't.
All right. See ya.
340
00:15:36,103 --> 00:15:38,437
Yeah!
You know they're
shooting porn in there.
341
00:15:38,439 --> 00:15:39,938
Really?
No way he owns it.
342
00:15:42,775 --> 00:15:45,110
Malcolm, what is that?
343
00:15:45,112 --> 00:15:47,179
Well, I paid those
camera guys all this money
344
00:15:47,181 --> 00:15:50,582
and they left a big-ass
blind spot inside the hallway.
345
00:15:50,584 --> 00:15:54,586
So you decided to
break my fan and rig up
this ridiculous camera?
346
00:15:54,854 --> 00:15:56,021
Yep.
347
00:15:56,789 --> 00:15:58,623
Call me "Nigyver."
348
00:15:58,625 --> 00:15:59,758
Wow.
349
00:16:02,728 --> 00:16:04,763
Cool.
All right, baby.
Come on.
350
00:16:04,765 --> 00:16:06,965
All right.
All right.
351
00:16:06,967 --> 00:16:08,934
- I'm so hungry.
- Me, too. Starving.
352
00:16:08,936 --> 00:16:10,802
Okay, Rosa.
We're leaving.
353
00:16:10,804 --> 00:16:12,904
Buenas tardes, senores.Okay.
354
00:16:26,919 --> 00:16:28,820
It's crazy, right?
355
00:16:30,523 --> 00:16:33,024
These stupid motherfuckers
don't think I speak English!
356
00:16:33,026 --> 00:16:35,227
Hmm.
357
00:16:35,229 --> 00:16:37,696
Yo, I got a nice pool.
You want to come on down?
358
00:16:37,698 --> 00:16:39,231
Yeah, we got a Jacuzzi.
359
00:16:48,174 --> 00:16:50,242
Que pasa?
360
00:16:53,080 --> 00:16:55,013
Ay, Dios mio!
361
00:17:03,190 --> 00:17:05,557
Whoo! ¡Dios mio!
362
00:17:05,559 --> 00:17:08,093
Whoo!
363
00:17:10,830 --> 00:17:12,230
Hey, Rosa. We're back.
364
00:17:13,032 --> 00:17:14,599
Hola!
365
00:17:17,103 --> 00:17:20,572
Ah!
366
00:17:20,574 --> 00:17:22,240
Si!Yo tambien.
367
00:17:22,242 --> 00:17:23,875
I don't know
what you saying.
368
00:17:23,877 --> 00:17:25,243
Mm-hmm!
369
00:17:27,880 --> 00:17:29,915
- Baby!
- What?
370
00:17:29,917 --> 00:17:31,716
Look at how
she's swimming.
371
00:17:31,718 --> 00:17:33,285
Hey, Steve.
Steve, look.
Check this out.
372
00:17:33,287 --> 00:17:34,920
Black girl don't like
getting her hair wet.
373
00:17:34,922 --> 00:17:37,822
Hey, hey, hey!
Malcolm, cut that shit out!
374
00:17:37,824 --> 00:17:39,591
Just got my hair did.
You know that.
375
00:17:40,227 --> 00:17:42,727
You're looking
good over there, baby.
376
00:17:42,729 --> 00:17:44,095
Hey, show us your tits.
What?
377
00:17:44,097 --> 00:17:45,897
Show us your tits!
378
00:17:45,899 --> 00:17:47,866
Whoa, whoa.
No, no, no, no, no!
379
00:17:47,868 --> 00:17:49,267
I knew she would do it.
380
00:17:51,204 --> 00:17:52,304
You like that?
381
00:17:52,306 --> 00:17:53,838
No, no. That was awkward.
382
00:17:53,840 --> 00:17:55,106
Oh, yeah? But did you
like it a little bit?
383
00:17:55,108 --> 00:17:56,641
They're cockeyed.
384
00:17:56,643 --> 00:17:58,910
Yeah, I know.
One's bigger
than the other one.
385
00:17:58,912 --> 00:18:00,045
That way you can
have a favorite.
386
00:18:00,047 --> 00:18:01,846
Baby?
387
00:18:01,848 --> 00:18:05,150
- No!
- Whoo!
388
00:18:05,152 --> 00:18:06,985
Your head's
gonna get pregnant!
389
00:18:06,987 --> 00:18:08,119
Let's do reverse.
390
00:18:14,026 --> 00:18:16,595
Wow, man, I am loving
this camera of yours.
391
00:18:16,597 --> 00:18:17,696
This is really cool.
392
00:18:17,698 --> 00:18:21,733
I bet you're shooting
all kinds of extracurricular
activities with this camera.
393
00:18:21,735 --> 00:18:22,834
Actually, I'm not.
394
00:18:22,836 --> 00:18:23,935
You aren't?
395
00:18:23,937 --> 00:18:25,170
None.
You're not?
396
00:18:25,172 --> 00:18:27,172
You know, ever since
Kisha moved in,
397
00:18:27,174 --> 00:18:29,174
I haven't seen
no parts of the vagina.
398
00:18:29,176 --> 00:18:31,109
No!
It's like she moved in,
399
00:18:31,111 --> 00:18:32,777
and her vagina
moved out the same day.
400
00:18:32,779 --> 00:18:34,079
You gotta be kidding me!
Yeah.
401
00:18:34,081 --> 00:18:35,780
That makes me angry.
402
00:18:35,782 --> 00:18:37,015
Not as angry as
it makes my penis.
403
00:18:37,017 --> 00:18:39,250
Well, I am angry
for your penis.
404
00:18:39,252 --> 00:18:40,885
Mr. Happy is
not so happy.
405
00:18:40,887 --> 00:18:42,153
Oh, that's infuriating.
406
00:18:42,155 --> 00:18:43,388
Yeah, man.
Yeah, man.
407
00:18:43,390 --> 00:18:45,223
It makes me very upset
to hear that.
408
00:18:45,225 --> 00:18:46,358
But you know,
there is something
you can do
409
00:18:46,360 --> 00:18:47,726
to spice it up
if you want to.
410
00:18:47,728 --> 00:18:48,393
Really?
Oh, yeah.
411
00:18:48,395 --> 00:18:49,761
What?
412
00:18:49,763 --> 00:18:51,396
Well, you know how, like,
413
00:18:51,398 --> 00:18:53,198
if you get tired
of driving your car,
414
00:18:53,200 --> 00:18:54,699
you might
test-drive a new car?
415
00:18:54,701 --> 00:18:56,001
Mm-hmm.
416
00:18:56,003 --> 00:18:57,402
Maybe you would
even let somebody else
417
00:18:57,404 --> 00:19:00,105
drive your car
for a little while,
you know?
418
00:19:00,107 --> 00:19:03,975
Get a whole new
appreciation of your vehicle
when you do that.
419
00:19:03,977 --> 00:19:06,645
Are you talking about
swapping girlfriends?
420
00:19:06,647 --> 00:19:08,947
- What? No!
- Excuse me?
421
00:19:08,949 --> 00:19:10,682
Oh, wow!
422
00:19:10,684 --> 00:19:12,751
I don't know where you
were goin' with that!
Oh, wow!
423
00:19:12,753 --> 00:19:13,718
I was talking about cars!
424
00:19:13,720 --> 00:19:14,853
My bad.
425
00:19:15,788 --> 00:19:17,022
You would never do it?
426
00:19:17,024 --> 00:19:18,990
I would absolutely
never do it.
427
00:19:18,992 --> 00:19:20,792
Me neither.
Me neither.
428
00:19:20,794 --> 00:19:23,828
What kind of pervert
does that?
429
00:19:23,830 --> 00:19:24,996
That's what you
would have to be.
430
00:19:24,998 --> 00:19:26,665
It takes a pervert
to swap girlfriends.
431
00:19:26,667 --> 00:19:28,733
You never have done it,
and you never would, huh?
432
00:19:28,735 --> 00:19:30,068
No, Steve.
433
00:19:30,070 --> 00:19:32,837
Even if you got drunk enough
or something like that?
434
00:19:32,839 --> 00:19:34,739
Like, you might have a few
too many drinks and say,
435
00:19:34,741 --> 00:19:35,940
"Why not?
Let's give it a try,"
436
00:19:35,942 --> 00:19:38,343
if there was a couple
that was into it.
437
00:19:38,345 --> 00:19:39,744
No.
No. Yeah, me neither.
438
00:19:39,746 --> 00:19:41,046
That's how I feel.
439
00:19:41,048 --> 00:19:43,448
But even, like, maybe
if you got a little high,
440
00:19:43,450 --> 00:19:45,116
maybe on a Saturday night
or something like that,
441
00:19:45,118 --> 00:19:46,718
and you were like...
442
00:19:46,720 --> 00:19:47,886
Even then.
443
00:19:47,888 --> 00:19:50,288
Yeah. Like, even if
this couple was, like,
444
00:19:50,290 --> 00:19:52,357
up for anything
and raring to go,
445
00:19:52,359 --> 00:19:56,461
and she was hot to trot,
like, a hot, hot lady.
446
00:19:56,463 --> 00:19:58,763
It wouldn't matter.
You wouldn't do it, right?
447
00:19:58,765 --> 00:20:01,132
Nigger, no.
448
00:20:01,134 --> 00:20:04,002
Same here.
We're in agreement.
449
00:20:04,004 --> 00:20:06,771
It's crazy to swap
girlfriends like that.
450
00:20:06,773 --> 00:20:09,441
I am with you 100%.
451
00:20:10,376 --> 00:20:12,243
Steve, want a beer?
452
00:20:12,245 --> 00:20:16,214
Hey, babe, did you
tell Steve we have a ghost?
453
00:20:16,216 --> 00:20:17,315
We don't have a ghost.
A ghost?
454
00:20:17,317 --> 00:20:19,150
Yeah.
Awesome.
455
00:20:19,152 --> 00:20:21,219
We don't have a ghost.
456
00:20:21,221 --> 00:20:22,454
No, Jenny, it's not cool.
457
00:20:22,456 --> 00:20:23,822
We don't have a ghost.
458
00:20:23,824 --> 00:20:25,957
You thought it
was cool in college.
459
00:20:25,959 --> 00:20:27,459
We did a seance
and everything!
460
00:20:27,461 --> 00:20:29,427
A seance?
Oh, yeah. That's right.
461
00:20:29,429 --> 00:20:30,495
You did a seance?
462
00:20:30,497 --> 00:20:32,097
Yes.
Honey, it's college.
463
00:20:32,099 --> 00:20:33,264
You do a lot of silly stuff.
464
00:20:33,266 --> 00:20:34,399
Yeah.
465
00:20:34,401 --> 00:20:36,468
Like that time we
got drunk and made out.
466
00:20:36,470 --> 00:20:38,837
Oh, it's all hazy.
467
00:20:38,839 --> 00:20:40,138
You know, college,
it's like a big fog.
468
00:20:40,140 --> 00:20:41,406
We're gonna talk
about these college days.
469
00:20:41,408 --> 00:20:42,874
Yeah, yeah.
470
00:20:42,876 --> 00:20:45,110
A hazy, sexy fog,
it sounds like.
471
00:20:45,112 --> 00:20:47,512
Wouldn't it be great if
we all spent the night?
Together?
472
00:20:47,514 --> 00:20:48,847
Well, that's an
interesting idea.
473
00:20:48,849 --> 00:20:50,148
What do you think
of that, Malcolm?
474
00:20:50,150 --> 00:20:51,950
- A naked sleepover?
- No.
475
00:20:51,952 --> 00:20:53,284
No?
It's weird.
476
00:20:53,286 --> 00:20:54,519
Yeah, but it's definitely
gonna be weird.
477
00:20:54,521 --> 00:20:57,088
But are you saying
weird good or weird bad?
478
00:20:57,090 --> 00:20:58,323
Weird bad, Steve.
479
00:20:58,325 --> 00:21:00,125
Okay.
480
00:21:00,127 --> 00:21:01,960
All right, you guys.
It's been real.
481
00:21:01,962 --> 00:21:04,496
Listen,
I know a great psychic
if you need one.
482
00:21:04,498 --> 00:21:05,997
Okay.
483
00:21:05,999 --> 00:21:07,298
He told me
I'd be surrounded
484
00:21:07,300 --> 00:21:10,769
by big, black spirits
in my near future.
485
00:21:11,837 --> 00:21:13,238
Vaginas crossed.
486
00:21:13,240 --> 00:21:15,340
Yeah, okay.
Right? Goodbye!
487
00:21:16,075 --> 00:21:17,942
Well.
488
00:21:17,944 --> 00:21:19,811
Listen, before we go,
I just wanna talk to
you about something,
489
00:21:19,813 --> 00:21:21,112
'cause Jenny's got
a birthday coming up.
490
00:21:21,114 --> 00:21:24,182
I wanna do something real
special for her, you know.
491
00:21:24,184 --> 00:21:26,217
I was thinking maybe you could
invite a couple of guys over,
492
00:21:26,219 --> 00:21:28,086
like your cousin Ray-Ray,
maybe?
493
00:21:28,088 --> 00:21:30,855
that he hangs out with,
you know?
494
00:21:30,857 --> 00:21:33,258
Jamal, and Hakim,
and Anforny, you know?
495
00:21:33,260 --> 00:21:36,327
Just the six of us, right?
We'll have some fun.
496
00:21:36,329 --> 00:21:38,496
We'll double stuff
the Oreo a little bit, huh?
497
00:21:38,498 --> 00:21:39,998
Dirty up the white snow?
498
00:21:40,000 --> 00:21:41,933
Black poles, white holes.
499
00:21:41,935 --> 00:21:44,469
You know, maybe all pile on
the little white rabbit,
right, you know?
500
00:21:44,471 --> 00:21:46,805
Are you talking
about a mandingo party?
501
00:21:46,807 --> 00:21:48,473
What? A what?
502
00:21:48,475 --> 00:21:51,176
Excuse me!
503
00:21:51,178 --> 00:21:53,545
I mean, I'm really,
uh, not into that.
But if you're into that...
504
00:21:53,547 --> 00:21:55,180
Um, I'm...
505
00:21:55,182 --> 00:21:56,848
Well, we might be able
to work something out
506
00:21:56,850 --> 00:21:59,584
Hey, buddy, I mean...
Okay, bye, Steve.
507
00:21:59,586 --> 00:22:00,885
Oh!
508
00:22:00,887 --> 00:22:02,487
Oh, wow.
509
00:22:02,489 --> 00:22:03,588
That's beautiful.
Okay, Jenny.
510
00:22:03,590 --> 00:22:06,191
Okay, honey, come on.
Come on, honey, come in.
511
00:22:06,193 --> 00:22:08,026
You're lucky.
512
00:22:08,028 --> 00:22:09,427
She is luckier.
513
00:22:09,429 --> 00:22:11,830
Bye, guys. Bye!
All right.
514
00:22:11,832 --> 00:22:15,133
Okay. All right.
515
00:22:15,135 --> 00:22:17,202
I think
Jenny and Steve
are swingers.
516
00:22:17,204 --> 00:22:18,970
You think? Wow.
517
00:22:18,972 --> 00:22:20,438
This looks like
a ghetto Rite Aid.
518
00:22:20,440 --> 00:22:21,940
Wrong Aid.
519
00:22:21,942 --> 00:22:24,275
Oh, shit!
Did somebody shave a yeti?
520
00:22:24,277 --> 00:22:26,211
Very funny.
I shaved my legs.
521
00:22:26,213 --> 00:22:27,946
With what,
a weed whacker?
522
00:22:27,948 --> 00:22:30,248
Wow. That's like
Apollo Creed's chest hairs.
523
00:22:30,250 --> 00:22:32,083
That is crazy.
524
00:22:32,085 --> 00:22:34,219
Oh! Hey!
Malcolm, come on!
525
00:22:34,221 --> 00:22:36,888
Dude, turn that off.
Get out of here.
526
00:22:36,890 --> 00:22:38,256
You got to close this.
Stop it!
527
00:22:38,258 --> 00:22:40,091
I'm claustrophobic, okay?
528
00:22:40,093 --> 00:22:41,526
Yeah? Well,
I'm ass-trophobic.
529
00:22:41,528 --> 00:22:43,294
You know what, Malcolm?
What?
530
00:22:43,296 --> 00:22:45,997
Love it or leave it, okay?
Here. Here.
531
00:22:45,999 --> 00:22:47,599
Take it, okay?
532
00:22:47,601 --> 00:22:49,067
It's oak-y.
533
00:22:49,069 --> 00:22:51,269
It's... It's full-bodied.
534
00:22:52,037 --> 00:22:53,137
I believe it's open.
535
00:22:53,139 --> 00:22:54,305
Oh, that's...
That's nasty!
536
00:22:54,307 --> 00:22:56,074
Mmm. The aroma.
537
00:22:56,076 --> 00:22:57,041
The nastiest thing ever.
538
00:22:57,043 --> 00:22:58,276
No, Malcolm! Malcolm!
539
00:22:58,278 --> 00:23:00,011
Hey! No!
540
00:23:00,013 --> 00:23:01,646
Move your
little nasty foot.
Stop it!
541
00:23:01,648 --> 00:23:03,381
Ow! Ow! Malcolm!
542
00:23:19,265 --> 00:23:22,033
Uh, Malcolm. Malcolm?
Hmm?
543
00:23:22,035 --> 00:23:23,534
The camera isn't off.
544
00:23:23,536 --> 00:23:25,503
Yeah, the camera's off.
What are you talkin' about?
545
00:23:25,505 --> 00:23:26,905
The light is on.
546
00:23:26,907 --> 00:23:28,106
That's the standby light.
547
00:23:28,108 --> 00:23:30,041
That's the record light.
548
00:23:30,043 --> 00:23:32,277
I don't want to be
like those stupid girls.
549
00:23:32,279 --> 00:23:34,479
Kim Kardashian
with a sex tape.
550
00:23:34,481 --> 00:23:37,448
First of all,
Kim Kardashian's
worth $150 million.
551
00:23:37,450 --> 00:23:39,651
Think about it, Kisha.
You could have
your own reality show.
552
00:23:39,653 --> 00:23:42,420
You could have your
own clothing line,
your own perfume.
553
00:23:42,422 --> 00:23:45,089
"Stank," by Kisha.
554
00:23:45,091 --> 00:23:46,524
No.
555
00:23:46,526 --> 00:23:48,626
Your window of opportunity
is closing quickly.
556
00:23:48,628 --> 00:23:50,295
Turn it off.
557
00:23:50,297 --> 00:23:51,296
Oh, God,
you are a hater.
558
00:23:51,298 --> 00:23:52,530
I'm not.
559
00:23:57,536 --> 00:24:00,605
Malcolm. You ain't slick.
That camera's still on.
560
00:24:00,607 --> 00:24:03,007
- What?
- "What?"
561
00:24:03,009 --> 00:24:04,642
That's cheap.
562
00:24:07,247 --> 00:24:10,181
Whoo! Whoo!
563
00:24:10,183 --> 00:24:12,250
Don't touch it.
564
00:24:12,252 --> 00:24:13,685
Don't touch it.
That was crazy.
565
00:24:13,687 --> 00:24:15,086
Oh, I got a cramp.
566
00:24:15,088 --> 00:24:17,588
I told you we should
have recorded that.
567
00:24:17,590 --> 00:24:19,590
I don't think they
make 30-second tapes.
568
00:24:19,592 --> 00:24:23,628
Oh, come on. That was
at least two minutes,
15, 16 seconds.
569
00:24:23,630 --> 00:24:25,396
Whoo! That was great.
570
00:24:25,398 --> 00:24:27,231
Malcolm, you know
we have to go again, right?
571
00:24:27,233 --> 00:24:30,401
I need a halftime.
You gotta talk to the coach.
572
00:24:30,403 --> 00:24:31,569
Get some new plays.
573
00:24:35,040 --> 00:24:37,075
Wake up.
Okay, okay.
574
00:24:37,077 --> 00:24:38,176
Come on now.
575
00:24:38,178 --> 00:24:39,377
Okay, okay.
576
00:24:39,379 --> 00:24:41,079
Woody's sore.
Mmm.
577
00:24:44,016 --> 00:24:45,149
Yeah.
578
00:24:46,251 --> 00:24:48,353
Good morning, honey.
579
00:24:48,355 --> 00:24:50,188
Hi, baby.
Mwah.
580
00:24:51,491 --> 00:24:53,725
Malcolm, I told you
to turn the camera off!
581
00:24:55,094 --> 00:24:57,195
I know. I'm shit.
582
00:24:57,197 --> 00:24:59,597
But, baby, I was
tearin' it up last night.
583
00:24:59,599 --> 00:25:01,132
Oh, please.
You were all right.
584
00:25:01,134 --> 00:25:02,433
Baby, check this move.
Look at that.
585
00:25:02,435 --> 00:25:04,035
Malcolm, I need you
to erase this tape.
586
00:25:04,037 --> 00:25:05,737
I don't wanna end
up on the Internet.
587
00:25:05,739 --> 00:25:07,071
Whoa, whoa, whoa,
whoa, whoa, whoa.
588
00:25:07,073 --> 00:25:08,439
Rewind the video.
589
00:25:08,441 --> 00:25:10,274
Okay.
590
00:25:10,276 --> 00:25:11,776
Did you see that?
Uh-huh.
591
00:25:11,778 --> 00:25:13,244
See, I call that move
the Tornado.
592
00:25:13,246 --> 00:25:14,579
No, stupid!
593
00:25:14,581 --> 00:25:18,049
Look! The door, it moved.
You see?
594
00:25:18,051 --> 00:25:20,051
Oh, wow.
595
00:25:20,053 --> 00:25:22,754
Well, there is a rational
explanation for all that.
596
00:25:22,756 --> 00:25:25,056
See, what happens is,
with the Tornado, right,
597
00:25:25,058 --> 00:25:27,625
the vortex in
which I move my hips,
598
00:25:27,627 --> 00:25:29,260
especially with
a downward motion,
599
00:25:29,262 --> 00:25:31,295
it creates that vortex.
600
00:25:31,297 --> 00:25:32,463
I'm surprised
the windows didn't
blow open.
601
00:25:32,465 --> 00:25:34,632
You are stupid.
Sometimes it does that.
602
00:25:34,634 --> 00:25:37,568
See, I'm working on a whole
natural disaster theme
for me and you.
603
00:25:37,570 --> 00:25:39,670
We gonna start with
the Mudslide tonight.
604
00:25:39,672 --> 00:25:42,106
Or the Earthquake.
Earthquake is crazy!
605
00:25:42,108 --> 00:25:45,243
'Cause I just get in
and I shake up in there,
fast as I can. I just shake.
606
00:25:56,623 --> 00:25:58,289
Malcolm!
607
00:25:58,291 --> 00:25:59,390
Malcolm, come here,
please!
608
00:25:59,392 --> 00:26:01,059
Quick!
What happened?
What happened?
609
00:26:01,061 --> 00:26:04,662
Okay, so the glass was
on the counter,
and then it...
610
00:26:04,664 --> 00:26:07,131
Something knocked it off!
611
00:26:07,133 --> 00:26:08,599
How do you explain that?
612
00:26:08,601 --> 00:26:10,101
Well, maybe you put it
on the edge of the counter,
613
00:26:10,103 --> 00:26:11,803
and it just slipped off.
614
00:26:11,805 --> 00:26:14,772
Last night,
it was the door, Malcolm.
615
00:26:14,774 --> 00:26:18,209
And then, this morning,
the pot was on the floor.
616
00:26:18,211 --> 00:26:20,378
Maybe it wasn't put
on the rack properly.
617
00:26:20,380 --> 00:26:23,214
All right,
I'll take credit for that.
Lord knows you don't cook.
618
00:26:23,216 --> 00:26:24,749
Oh, I love you, but stop.
Be careful.
619
00:26:24,751 --> 00:26:26,117
You're gonna get
glass in your foot
620
00:26:26,119 --> 00:26:27,452
and be trackin' blood
all through the house
621
00:26:27,454 --> 00:26:28,553
like Bruce Willis
in Die Hard.
622
00:26:32,659 --> 00:26:35,293
Do you believe
me now, Malcolm? Hmm?
623
00:26:35,295 --> 00:26:38,763
Maybe it was your vortex.
624
00:26:38,765 --> 00:26:40,131
Oh, God.
625
00:26:53,245 --> 00:26:54,612
Did you hear that?
626
00:26:54,614 --> 00:26:56,481
Nope.
What?
627
00:26:59,319 --> 00:27:00,518
What about that?
628
00:27:00,520 --> 00:27:02,653
That was just
the house settling.
629
00:27:02,655 --> 00:27:04,222
No big thing.
Just go back to sleep.
630
00:27:04,224 --> 00:27:05,857
Go back to sleep?
631
00:27:09,229 --> 00:27:11,229
The wind?
What?
632
00:27:11,231 --> 00:27:13,698
Negro, the windows
are closed!
633
00:27:13,700 --> 00:27:16,167
Oh, hell, no! I'm out!
634
00:27:16,169 --> 00:27:17,401
What? Malcolm!
635
00:27:19,172 --> 00:27:20,304
Malcolm!
636
00:27:29,815 --> 00:27:31,749
Really?
637
00:27:32,551 --> 00:27:33,684
Oh, hell, no.
638
00:27:33,686 --> 00:27:36,521
Malcolm, what are
you doing?
639
00:27:36,523 --> 00:27:39,423
Bitch, there is a ghost
in the house. I'm out.
640
00:27:39,425 --> 00:27:40,591
You can't leave.
641
00:27:40,593 --> 00:27:41,692
You watch me.
642
00:27:43,196 --> 00:27:44,362
Deuces.
643
00:27:46,598 --> 00:27:47,665
Malcolm!
644
00:27:52,304 --> 00:27:53,638
You all right?
Who am I kidding?
645
00:27:55,741 --> 00:27:57,341
I can't sell a house
in this market.
646
00:27:58,410 --> 00:27:59,777
"Immediate possession."
647
00:28:01,181 --> 00:28:02,280
It's already possessed!
648
00:28:07,619 --> 00:28:10,388
Hi, Chip.
I'm Kisha.
Hi.
649
00:28:10,390 --> 00:28:11,689
Hi, I'm Chip the Psychic.
650
00:28:11,691 --> 00:28:12,790
Come on in.
651
00:28:12,792 --> 00:28:14,659
Nice. Nice.
652
00:28:16,728 --> 00:28:18,496
Oh!
653
00:28:18,498 --> 00:28:22,833
And you...
You must be Malcolm.
654
00:28:22,835 --> 00:28:24,468
Mmm, yeah.
That's pretty good.
How did you know?
655
00:28:24,470 --> 00:28:25,570
Uh, psychic.
656
00:28:25,572 --> 00:28:26,871
See?
657
00:28:26,873 --> 00:28:29,740
I have a lot of powers
all over my body.
658
00:28:29,742 --> 00:28:32,443
Do you... You play basketball,
probably, a little bit, right?
659
00:28:32,445 --> 00:28:33,878
No, not really.
You don't?
660
00:28:33,880 --> 00:28:35,646
No.
Well, you got
the body for it.
661
00:28:35,948 --> 00:28:37,949
You're lucky.
662
00:28:37,951 --> 00:28:39,750
You're a lucky, lucky lady.
663
00:28:39,752 --> 00:28:41,986
I'm gonna ask you
some questions.
664
00:28:41,988 --> 00:28:45,423
You know, nothing cray.
Just real simple stuff.
665
00:28:45,425 --> 00:28:46,791
Okay, how long
have you guys
been together?
666
00:28:46,793 --> 00:28:47,925
Two years.
Yes.
667
00:28:47,927 --> 00:28:49,727
Okay, Malcolm,
are you happy?
Yes.
668
00:28:49,729 --> 00:28:51,295
Do you like
living with her?
Yes.
669
00:28:51,297 --> 00:28:52,830
Have you been
with a man?
No.
670
00:28:52,832 --> 00:28:54,565
Did you have
a good Halloween?
Yes.
671
00:28:54,567 --> 00:28:55,833
Did you have
a good Christmas?
Yes.
672
00:28:55,835 --> 00:28:57,401
Do you like movies?
Yeah.
673
00:28:57,403 --> 00:28:58,502
Have you
been with a man?
674
00:28:58,504 --> 00:28:59,770
Yeah...
No. What? No!
675
00:28:59,772 --> 00:29:01,505
Did you have
a good Easter?
Yes.
676
00:29:01,507 --> 00:29:02,773
Do you like booze?
Yes.
677
00:29:02,775 --> 00:29:04,475
Do you eat food
every day?
Yes.
678
00:29:04,477 --> 00:29:05,343
Have you
been with a man?
679
00:29:05,345 --> 00:29:06,477
Yes. No, no!
680
00:29:06,479 --> 00:29:08,379
I've never been with a man.
681
00:29:08,381 --> 00:29:10,281
Okay, I'm just asking
'cause I'm just trying
to get to know you.
682
00:29:10,283 --> 00:29:12,617
I've never been with a man.
I've never been with a man.
683
00:29:12,619 --> 00:29:14,485
I've never been
with a man.
Would you stop being so...
684
00:29:14,487 --> 00:29:15,353
I've never been
with a man!
685
00:29:15,355 --> 00:29:16,621
Okay!
686
00:29:16,623 --> 00:29:17,888
You don't have to
be loud and angry.
687
00:29:17,890 --> 00:29:20,625
He keeps asking me if
I've been with a man!
688
00:29:20,627 --> 00:29:21,726
I've never
been with a man!
689
00:29:21,728 --> 00:29:23,327
Okay.
690
00:29:23,329 --> 00:29:24,595
I'm trying to get to know you.
Have you been with a man?
691
00:29:24,597 --> 00:29:25,863
I sleep on this
side of the bed.
692
00:29:25,865 --> 00:29:26,931
Right.
693
00:29:26,933 --> 00:29:28,833
She sleeps there.
Ick.
694
00:29:28,835 --> 00:29:31,702
And, you know, we keep
the camera right there.
695
00:29:31,704 --> 00:29:34,939
And one night,
we saw the door
kind of just, like...
696
00:29:34,941 --> 00:29:38,409
Oh, wow. So there was
some paranormal over there.
697
00:29:38,411 --> 00:29:40,044
No, she thinks
it's paranormal,
698
00:29:40,046 --> 00:29:42,413
and I think it's
'cause of the Tornado.
699
00:29:42,415 --> 00:29:43,914
'Cause I created a vortex.
700
00:29:43,916 --> 00:29:45,816
What does that mean?
701
00:29:45,818 --> 00:29:47,518
We was havin' sex,
and I was hittin' it.
702
00:29:47,520 --> 00:29:49,820
I was like...
703
00:29:49,822 --> 00:29:52,356
I was doing this round,
and I think the...
704
00:29:52,358 --> 00:29:54,525
Hey, hey, hey!
Hey, hey, hey.
705
00:29:54,527 --> 00:29:56,327
Hey, you okay?
Yeah, sorry.
706
00:29:56,329 --> 00:29:57,595
You all right?
707
00:29:57,597 --> 00:29:58,696
I got light-headed
there for a second.
708
00:29:58,698 --> 00:30:00,398
Okay. All right.
Yeah, no, I'm good.
709
00:30:00,400 --> 00:30:02,867
Check out the door.
You know what?
710
00:30:02,869 --> 00:30:04,335
There is some dark
energy over here.
711
00:30:04,337 --> 00:30:05,403
Really?
712
00:30:05,405 --> 00:30:07,571
Yeah. Wow, that's crazy.
713
00:30:07,573 --> 00:30:09,740
- I didn't even...
- Oh!
714
00:30:09,742 --> 00:30:10,875
We got a ghost.
715
00:30:10,877 --> 00:30:12,009
Oh, my God,
it's got me!
716
00:30:12,011 --> 00:30:14,712
It's got me!
It's got me!
717
00:30:14,714 --> 00:30:16,681
It's got me!
Help! Help!
718
00:30:16,683 --> 00:30:18,749
Hey, man!
Get off of me!
719
00:30:18,751 --> 00:30:21,719
Oh, man!
Get off of me.
720
00:30:21,721 --> 00:30:23,754
What are you doing?
721
00:30:23,756 --> 00:30:25,823
I don't know
what just happened.
722
00:30:25,825 --> 00:30:27,591
That was so scary.
723
00:30:27,593 --> 00:30:30,027
Okay, you guys.
This is a simple
channeling exercise.
724
00:30:30,029 --> 00:30:31,495
Okay.
725
00:30:31,497 --> 00:30:33,831
This is creepy.
Shh.
726
00:30:33,833 --> 00:30:36,734
All right, Kisha,
now just breathe.
Relax.
727
00:30:36,736 --> 00:30:39,370
Do you feel anything?
728
00:30:39,372 --> 00:30:40,738
No, not really.
729
00:30:40,740 --> 00:30:42,807
What about you, Malcolm?
730
00:30:44,109 --> 00:30:45,743
Just your dick in my back.
731
00:30:47,112 --> 00:30:48,979
Well, that's a start.
732
00:30:50,615 --> 00:30:53,451
Now, there are two kinds
of paranormal entities.
733
00:30:53,453 --> 00:30:56,620
I specialize in
the good ones.
734
00:30:56,622 --> 00:30:58,989
Okay, yeah, like
Casper the Friendly Ghost.
735
00:30:58,991 --> 00:31:01,559
Oh!
Yeah, he's fun.
736
00:31:01,561 --> 00:31:03,794
And also Patrick Swayze
from Ghost.
737
00:31:03,796 --> 00:31:05,830
I love that movie.
738
00:31:05,832 --> 00:31:07,998
Yes, that one was
really moving.
739
00:31:08,000 --> 00:31:10,735
Especially with the clay,
and he'd work
the clay and just...
740
00:31:10,737 --> 00:31:12,903
And he just
fuckin' has it, and...
741
00:31:13,538 --> 00:31:17,141
Demons, though, are bad.
742
00:31:17,143 --> 00:31:19,944
Those are pure,
pure, pure evil.
743
00:31:19,946 --> 00:31:23,047
And they will pop up
at the worst possible times.
744
00:31:23,049 --> 00:31:24,915
You know, like herpes.
745
00:31:28,420 --> 00:31:29,820
What?
746
00:31:29,822 --> 00:31:31,489
What are you
looking at me for?
747
00:31:32,958 --> 00:31:36,660
All I'm saying is,
do not aggravate a demon.
748
00:31:36,662 --> 00:31:37,962
Do not try to
contact them,
749
00:31:37,964 --> 00:31:41,766
and whatever you do,
do not film them.
750
00:31:41,768 --> 00:31:42,933
That will only
make things worse.
751
00:31:42,935 --> 00:31:45,169
See? Don't film demons.
752
00:31:45,171 --> 00:31:46,837
Very bad.
Okay.
753
00:31:48,807 --> 00:31:50,107
Well, thanks a lot
for coming out, man.
754
00:31:50,109 --> 00:31:51,442
Is there anything
you wanna get off
your chest?
755
00:31:51,944 --> 00:31:55,079
Is there anything
you want to
put on my chest?
756
00:31:55,081 --> 00:31:56,547
Huh?
Wait'll you see
the clay scene.
757
00:31:56,549 --> 00:31:57,715
Wait, wait. Uh...
758
00:31:59,551 --> 00:32:00,818
I have a confession
to make.
759
00:32:00,820 --> 00:32:02,620
Yep, herpes!
I knew it.
760
00:32:02,622 --> 00:32:05,122
Oh! Ick!
No, I don't!
761
00:32:05,124 --> 00:32:08,192
But did I mention that I made
a deal with the devil
762
00:32:08,194 --> 00:32:10,461
for a pair of
really cool Louboutins?
763
00:32:10,463 --> 00:32:13,097
You made a deal
with the devil
for a pair of shoes?
764
00:32:13,099 --> 00:32:16,534
Not shoes, Malcolm!
Louboutins, okay?
765
00:32:16,536 --> 00:32:19,503
They've got red soles,
and they make my calves pop!
766
00:32:21,707 --> 00:32:24,008
Well, I really
needed them, okay?
767
00:32:24,010 --> 00:32:28,512
You are screwed, sista,
768
00:32:28,514 --> 00:32:33,684
This demon is not
leaving this house
until it gets what it wants.
769
00:32:33,686 --> 00:32:35,519
What's that?
770
00:32:35,521 --> 00:32:36,887
Kisha.
771
00:32:38,523 --> 00:32:39,957
You're fine, Malcolm.
772
00:32:39,959 --> 00:32:42,760
Like, you're free to
be whoever you want.
773
00:32:42,762 --> 00:32:43,661
It's a five-man
wrestling league.
774
00:32:43,663 --> 00:32:44,728
I'm good.
775
00:32:44,730 --> 00:32:45,830
It's so fun.
776
00:32:45,832 --> 00:32:46,964
I bet it is.
It's not for me.
777
00:32:46,966 --> 00:32:48,599
And everyone's
really good.
Really?
778
00:32:48,601 --> 00:32:49,733
Yeah, no,
but it's competitive.
779
00:32:49,735 --> 00:32:52,536
It's something that...
780
00:32:52,538 --> 00:32:54,905
Oh, my God.
I'm getting mind powers.
781
00:32:54,907 --> 00:32:57,007
Okay. All right.
I'm getting mind powers.
782
00:32:57,009 --> 00:33:02,613
Malcolm, something
is going to happen to you
783
00:33:02,615 --> 00:33:04,915
that is going to change you.
784
00:33:05,750 --> 00:33:07,117
Don't fight it.
785
00:33:07,119 --> 00:33:08,619
Whatever it is,
don't fight it, okay?
786
00:33:08,621 --> 00:33:10,688
Okay, I won't.
I won't.
I can save you.
787
00:33:10,690 --> 00:33:12,122
It's five guys.
We wrestle on Monday.
788
00:33:12,124 --> 00:33:13,624
Okay.
789
00:33:13,626 --> 00:33:15,259
I can save you.
No, thank you.
790
00:33:15,261 --> 00:33:16,861
Save you!
791
00:33:16,863 --> 00:33:17,962
God.
792
00:33:17,964 --> 00:33:19,563
I think that went well.
793
00:33:19,565 --> 00:33:21,232
We need to talk.
794
00:33:21,234 --> 00:33:22,633
A demon, Kisha?
795
00:33:22,635 --> 00:33:25,035
I'm sorry, Malcolm.
796
00:33:25,037 --> 00:33:27,638
Why...
Why didn't you tell me this,
like, on the first date?
797
00:33:27,640 --> 00:33:29,607
Because you never would have
gone out with me again.
798
00:33:29,609 --> 00:33:31,942
Exactly!
799
00:33:31,944 --> 00:33:34,245
How long has this
been happening to you?
800
00:33:34,247 --> 00:33:36,013
Since I was a little kid.
801
00:33:36,015 --> 00:33:37,948
What the shit is this?
802
00:33:38,984 --> 00:33:40,150
And you say I
tape everything.
803
00:33:40,919 --> 00:33:42,620
Mm. Mm-mm-mm.
804
00:33:50,228 --> 00:33:54,131
Happy birthday, Kisha.Mama loves you.
805
00:33:54,133 --> 00:33:56,166
Ooh! To think youalmost didn't make it.
806
00:33:56,168 --> 00:33:58,269
But good thingthat clinic was closed.
807
00:33:58,271 --> 00:34:01,038
Ooh! God is goodall the time.
808
00:34:01,040 --> 00:34:04,008
You are eight years ol.Enjoy your birthday.
809
00:34:04,010 --> 00:34:06,944
Sooner or later, you're gonnacome home from school one da.
810
00:34:06,946 --> 00:34:08,312
"Where's stepdaddy?Where's stepdaddy?"
811
00:34:08,314 --> 00:34:11,282
And I'm gonna be gone.
812
00:34:11,284 --> 00:34:14,251
Happy birthday, Kisha.Make a wish.
813
00:34:14,253 --> 00:34:15,686
Sit right there.All right.
814
00:34:15,688 --> 00:34:19,323
I wish Tony canstay with me forev.
815
00:34:19,325 --> 00:34:20,791
Who is Tony?
816
00:34:20,793 --> 00:34:22,560
Who is Tony, baby?He's my friend.
817
00:34:22,562 --> 00:34:23,928
If you have friends,they'd all be
818
00:34:23,930 --> 00:34:25,829
gathered around heredrinking beer,
819
00:34:25,831 --> 00:34:27,298
smoking cigarettes,having a good time,
820
00:34:27,300 --> 00:34:28,999
gambling,playing cardsand stuff.
821
00:34:29,001 --> 00:34:33,737
You gonna blow it out?Or you just gonnalook at us crazy?
822
00:34:33,739 --> 00:34:35,205
Dang.She ain't all there.
823
00:34:35,207 --> 00:34:38,676
Lookin' all crazy.You crazy.
824
00:34:38,678 --> 00:34:41,712
Look, look,look, look, look.She got a lazy eye.
825
00:34:43,015 --> 00:34:49,153
Blow outthe candles, baby.
826
00:34:49,155 --> 00:34:51,155
Tony, no!
827
00:34:53,325 --> 00:34:55,326
You wanna throw cakeon my brand-new Betama?
828
00:34:55,328 --> 00:34:57,928
You must be crazy!
829
00:34:57,930 --> 00:34:59,330
Ow! It wasn't me.It was Tony.
830
00:34:59,332 --> 00:35:02,032
I'm-a beat the Tyout of you then.
831
00:35:02,034 --> 00:35:03,968
Ah, ah, ah.Lamar, not so hard.
832
00:35:03,970 --> 00:35:07,972
I won't beat myown kids like th.
833
00:35:07,974 --> 00:35:09,239
I know that's right.
834
00:35:16,181 --> 00:35:18,749
Anything else
you wanna tell me?
835
00:35:18,751 --> 00:35:20,250
Well,
836
00:35:20,252 --> 00:35:21,318
about the herpes.
837
00:35:22,687 --> 00:35:24,622
Baby, what are you doing?
Huh?
838
00:35:24,624 --> 00:35:27,324
Oh, nothing. I'm just...
Just cleaning, that's all.
839
00:35:27,326 --> 00:35:29,259
You ever get that
not-so-fresh feeling?
840
00:35:29,261 --> 00:35:33,230
Seriously, we're gonna
have to talk about your lies.
841
00:35:33,232 --> 00:35:35,065
Oh, that's fizzing.
It's fizzing.
842
00:35:35,067 --> 00:35:36,900
It's herpes, Kisha.
843
00:35:36,902 --> 00:35:39,103
This ain't
a cold sore, Kisha.
This is the real thing.
844
00:35:40,105 --> 00:35:43,073
Ah! You did this to me.
845
00:35:43,075 --> 00:35:45,209
Get a match!
Get the goddamn match!
846
00:35:46,878 --> 00:35:49,847
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!
847
00:35:49,849 --> 00:35:51,148
That hurt. Whoa!
848
00:36:49,808 --> 00:36:51,275
What the hell?
849
00:36:51,277 --> 00:36:52,376
What happened?
850
00:36:53,812 --> 00:36:55,846
Did...
851
00:36:55,848 --> 00:36:57,815
What'd you slap me for?
852
00:36:57,817 --> 00:36:59,183
Was I snoring?
853
00:36:59,317 --> 00:37:00,751
Kisha!
854
00:37:01,252 --> 00:37:02,286
Kisha!
855
00:37:04,022 --> 00:37:05,155
The hell?
856
00:37:05,990 --> 00:37:07,224
Kisha.
857
00:37:07,959 --> 00:37:09,126
Kisha.
858
00:37:09,128 --> 00:37:10,494
What the hell?
859
00:37:11,262 --> 00:37:12,863
Kisha.
860
00:37:12,865 --> 00:37:14,398
Oh, shit!
Kisha, what the...
861
00:37:17,368 --> 00:37:18,902
Kisha, what are you doing?
862
00:37:19,871 --> 00:37:23,040
What? Oh, that is gross.
863
00:37:23,042 --> 00:37:25,342
Wait! No, baby,
that milk is
three weeks old.
864
00:37:25,344 --> 00:37:29,947
Oh! Baby.
Baby, what are you doing?
865
00:37:32,383 --> 00:37:36,320
I'll run to the store.
We're out of milk.
866
00:37:36,322 --> 00:37:38,021
I'll be right back.
No, no, you... No, no.
867
00:37:38,023 --> 00:37:39,356
Give me that.
868
00:37:41,827 --> 00:37:43,393
Honey, honey.
869
00:37:43,395 --> 00:37:45,429
Where do you
keep the Pepto?
Oh, man.
870
00:37:45,431 --> 00:37:47,431
Where do you
keep the Pepto?
My stomach hurts.
871
00:37:47,433 --> 00:37:50,167
What are you doing?
872
00:37:50,169 --> 00:37:51,502
I'm looking at
the tape from last night.
873
00:37:53,105 --> 00:37:54,772
Honey, you make me feel good.
874
00:37:54,774 --> 00:37:57,775
Okay. Maybe some sleepwill make you feel good.
875
00:37:57,777 --> 00:37:59,543
Oh, my God.
876
00:37:59,545 --> 00:38:02,546
I don't remember
doing any of this.
What am I doing?
877
00:38:02,548 --> 00:38:05,249
Acting like a freak.
This is crazy.
878
00:38:05,251 --> 00:38:07,351
Wait, look at this.
Check this out.
879
00:38:07,353 --> 00:38:09,853
Something weird...Weird-weird-weirdis going on.
880
00:38:11,891 --> 00:38:15,125
Something weirdis going on.
881
00:38:15,127 --> 00:38:16,927
Meow.Honey, you make mefeel good.
882
00:38:18,264 --> 00:38:21,832
Weird is going on.Weird-weird-weirdis going on.
883
00:38:21,834 --> 00:38:23,200
Whoo!
884
00:38:23,202 --> 00:38:25,035
Weird-weird-weird-weirdis going on.
885
00:38:25,037 --> 00:38:27,504
I'm a scary ghost!
886
00:38:32,244 --> 00:38:33,911
I can't breathe.
887
00:38:33,913 --> 00:38:35,846
Baby, you mad?
888
00:38:35,848 --> 00:38:36,513
Baby.
889
00:38:39,117 --> 00:38:40,250
Malcolm!
890
00:38:41,286 --> 00:38:43,086
It's not a joke!
891
00:38:43,088 --> 00:38:46,456
Come on. I'm just trying
to make light
of a bad situation.
892
00:38:46,458 --> 00:38:48,425
Bad situation?
So, what,
now you're referring
893
00:38:48,427 --> 00:38:50,460
to my moving in
as a bad situation?
894
00:38:50,462 --> 00:38:53,163
I didn't have
a demon in my house
till you moved in.
895
00:38:53,165 --> 00:38:55,899
What happened to,
"You're living with me now.
I'll protect you"?
896
00:38:55,901 --> 00:38:58,435
From a burglar,
not a ghost!
897
00:38:58,437 --> 00:38:59,837
You know what?
I ain't listening to this.
898
00:38:59,839 --> 00:39:01,939
Where do you
think you're going?
899
00:39:01,941 --> 00:39:03,874
Out.
900
00:39:03,876 --> 00:39:07,544
Oh, okay!
So you're just gonna
leave me here alone?
901
00:39:07,546 --> 00:39:08,445
Malcolm!
902
00:39:49,088 --> 00:39:50,354
Malcolm!
903
00:39:50,356 --> 00:39:52,022
Okay, I'm coming,
I'm coming, I'm coming!
904
00:39:52,024 --> 00:39:52,923
What, what, what, what?
905
00:39:52,925 --> 00:39:53,991
Look at this!
906
00:39:54,626 --> 00:39:56,426
Oh, wow. What the...
907
00:39:57,362 --> 00:39:59,096
Oh, Daddy!
908
00:40:01,366 --> 00:40:02,499
Malcolm!
909
00:40:03,501 --> 00:40:05,202
Oh, shit.
910
00:40:05,204 --> 00:40:08,205
What kind of monster
would do this?
911
00:40:08,207 --> 00:40:10,040
Uh, uh, baby,
you were right.
912
00:40:10,042 --> 00:40:12,175
Listen, there is
an evil spirit
in this house.
913
00:40:12,177 --> 00:40:14,011
I believe you.
I was so dumb.
914
00:40:14,013 --> 00:40:17,915
Oh, shit. I feel it.
Oh, my God.
It's right there.
915
00:40:17,917 --> 00:40:19,516
You feel that?
Feel it, feel it, feel it.
916
00:40:19,518 --> 00:40:21,418
- It's cold, right?
- Oh, my God!
917
00:40:21,420 --> 00:40:24,054
Baby, we have to
get rid of this menace
once and for all.
918
00:40:24,056 --> 00:40:25,455
Ooh! The tape!
We can watch the tape.
919
00:40:25,457 --> 00:40:27,391
Wait, no! No, no, no.
Don't watch the tape.
920
00:40:27,393 --> 00:40:29,026
Don't watch the tape.
What?
921
00:40:29,028 --> 00:40:31,328
Because it's just me
and you against him.
922
00:40:31,330 --> 00:40:35,198
You evil spirit!
You leave this house alone!
923
00:40:35,200 --> 00:40:36,934
Now!
924
00:40:36,936 --> 00:40:38,702
You hear me?
You get out!
925
00:40:38,704 --> 00:40:40,404
Get out, demon.
Get out!
926
00:40:40,406 --> 00:40:42,472
Get out, get out, get out!
927
00:40:42,474 --> 00:40:44,007
See, I believe you.
No.
928
00:40:44,009 --> 00:40:45,475
I need you to shut up
once and for all.
929
00:40:45,477 --> 00:40:47,444
Let's watch the tape.
I am shutting up! God!
930
00:40:55,053 --> 00:40:56,653
Mm-hmm.
931
00:40:57,690 --> 00:40:59,957
Hi, Daddy.
932
00:40:59,959 --> 00:41:04,294
You want to come in hereand move in on my house? H?
933
00:41:04,296 --> 00:41:07,197
You likehaunting people, huh?I ain't scared of you.
934
00:41:07,199 --> 00:41:08,332
Uh, baby? Um...
935
00:41:08,334 --> 00:41:09,633
Fuck you, and fuck your daddy!
936
00:41:09,635 --> 00:41:10,701
This is disturbing.
You don't want to see it.
937
00:41:10,703 --> 00:41:12,402
I will break your arm.
938
00:41:12,404 --> 00:41:14,171
You wanna watch TV?
939
00:41:15,673 --> 00:41:17,107
Wow!
940
00:41:17,109 --> 00:41:19,209
Oh. Oh, my.
941
00:41:22,548 --> 00:41:24,247
See, that hurt. Lookee.
942
00:41:24,249 --> 00:41:25,282
I got a boo-boo,
baby, right...
I don't care.
943
00:41:33,291 --> 00:41:36,560
On my father's ashes!
Really?
944
00:41:36,562 --> 00:41:39,429
You think you the shit?I'll show you the shit.
945
00:41:39,431 --> 00:41:41,631
Nasty! That is so nasty.
946
00:41:41,633 --> 00:41:42,699
I will...
947
00:41:42,701 --> 00:41:46,603
So, what did you do,
wipe your ass
with the curtains?
948
00:41:51,476 --> 00:41:53,110
Baby, you didn't like
the curtains anyway.
949
00:41:53,112 --> 00:41:54,478
You're an animal.
We'll get new curtains.
950
00:41:54,480 --> 00:41:56,179
It's just curtains.
951
00:41:56,181 --> 00:41:58,615
I'd be an animal
if I didn't wipe at all.
Baby!
952
00:41:58,617 --> 00:42:00,350
This isn't gonna
prove any...
Yes, it is!
953
00:42:01,452 --> 00:42:04,287
I swear that I
will listen to Kisha
954
00:42:04,289 --> 00:42:07,324
whenever she says
strange things are going on
in the house.
955
00:42:07,592 --> 00:42:08,759
And?
956
00:42:08,761 --> 00:42:11,061
And...
957
00:42:11,063 --> 00:42:15,298
And I swear that I won't
antagonize the ghost anymore.
958
00:42:15,300 --> 00:42:17,467
Even though I didn't
bring him in the house.
959
00:42:17,735 --> 00:42:19,770
And?
960
00:42:19,772 --> 00:42:22,572
And I swear that
Kisha is the prettiest
961
00:42:22,574 --> 00:42:24,808
and the sexiest
girl for never.
962
00:42:26,244 --> 00:42:27,544
And?
963
00:42:27,546 --> 00:42:29,446
And I promise I won't shit
in your daddy's ashes.
964
00:42:29,448 --> 00:42:30,547
Louder!
965
00:42:30,549 --> 00:42:31,681
I promise I won't shit
966
00:42:31,683 --> 00:42:34,518
on Kisha's daddy's ashes
ever again.
967
00:42:35,186 --> 00:42:36,820
Happy?
Yes.
968
00:42:36,822 --> 00:42:38,355
Can I have my
video game back now?
No!
969
00:42:39,690 --> 00:42:40,690
See, man?
970
00:42:43,127 --> 00:42:44,828
Why are you putting
powder on the floor?
971
00:42:44,830 --> 00:42:47,798
See, the powder
is gonna let me see
his footprints.
972
00:42:47,800 --> 00:42:50,267
And you think
this is gonna work.
973
00:42:50,269 --> 00:42:51,668
It did on Scooby-Doo.
974
00:43:02,181 --> 00:43:03,747
Malcolm, did you
hear that?
975
00:43:03,749 --> 00:43:05,248
Mm-hmm.
976
00:43:05,250 --> 00:43:08,185
Then why are you
pretending to be asleep?
977
00:43:08,187 --> 00:43:09,352
'Cause I know if I'm up,
978
00:43:09,354 --> 00:43:12,823
where them
scary-ass noises
are coming from.
979
00:43:12,825 --> 00:43:14,658
Get your black ass up.
980
00:43:15,326 --> 00:43:16,693
See, man?
981
00:43:22,133 --> 00:43:24,668
Kisha.
982
00:43:24,670 --> 00:43:26,269
Camera.
Get the camera.
Get the camera.
983
00:43:29,540 --> 00:43:32,409
Whose plan was
stupid now, Kisha? Hmm?
984
00:43:32,411 --> 00:43:34,544
Pass me a bat.
A bat?
985
00:43:34,546 --> 00:43:35,712
You're gonna use
a bat on a ghost?
986
00:43:35,714 --> 00:43:38,248
I'm sorry. I left my
proton pack in the car.
987
00:43:38,250 --> 00:43:39,416
Pass me the bat.
988
00:43:39,418 --> 00:43:41,485
This ghost's got
some ugly-ass feet.
989
00:43:41,487 --> 00:43:42,586
Looks more like an alien.
990
00:43:44,790 --> 00:43:46,590
I don't wanna do it.
I don't wanna do it.
991
00:43:46,592 --> 00:43:48,358
I can't do it.
I can't do it.
What?
992
00:43:48,360 --> 00:43:49,493
Malcolm!
No, this... No.
993
00:43:49,495 --> 00:43:50,861
This ain't what we do.
994
00:43:50,863 --> 00:43:52,629
This is for white people.
Will you grow some balls!
995
00:43:52,631 --> 00:43:55,365
This is for white people.
This ain't what niggers do.
996
00:43:55,367 --> 00:43:58,135
We don't investigate.
We run. We run, we live.
997
00:43:58,137 --> 00:43:59,836
If we was in a movie theater,
some black woman be screaming,
998
00:43:59,838 --> 00:44:01,838
"Don't do it!
Don't do it, boy!
999
00:44:01,840 --> 00:44:03,907
"He behind there.
He in there."
1000
00:44:03,909 --> 00:44:06,409
If we know he's in there,
why the fuck are
we going in there?
1001
00:44:06,411 --> 00:44:07,511
Come on, baby.
1002
00:44:07,513 --> 00:44:09,446
I don't want to do it.
1003
00:44:09,448 --> 00:44:11,615
Stop it.
What if it bites me?
1004
00:44:11,617 --> 00:44:13,550
It's not a zombie.
It's a ghost.
1005
00:44:13,552 --> 00:44:15,585
You wanna play?
That's right!
1006
00:44:15,587 --> 00:44:17,454
You hurt my mother.
You killed my mother.
1007
00:44:17,456 --> 00:44:18,788
That's right!
1008
00:44:18,790 --> 00:44:20,790
That's not helping.
It's not helping none.
1009
00:44:20,792 --> 00:44:22,726
You got this. Go.
1010
00:44:24,396 --> 00:44:25,762
You want some of this?
This is how we...
1011
00:44:25,764 --> 00:44:26,930
Get him!
1012
00:44:26,932 --> 00:44:28,665
Bust your...
Whoop that ghost's ass!
1013
00:44:28,667 --> 00:44:31,801
Turn on the lights!
Oh, my God! Rosa?
1014
00:44:31,803 --> 00:44:33,370
Rosa? Rosa! Rosa!
1015
00:44:33,372 --> 00:44:35,172
Si, senor! Que pasa?
1016
00:44:35,174 --> 00:44:37,474
Oh, my... I'm so sorry.
I thought you...
1017
00:44:37,476 --> 00:44:40,310
I... I didn't know.
I thought you was a ghost.
1018
00:44:40,312 --> 00:44:43,180
- Ghost?
- Or an alien.
1019
00:44:43,182 --> 00:44:46,449
I was talking
about your feet, not your
citizenship or lack thereof.
1020
00:44:46,451 --> 00:44:47,584
I quit.
1021
00:44:47,586 --> 00:44:49,286
See? Give me the camera!
1022
00:44:49,288 --> 00:44:50,387
Go fix this.
1023
00:44:50,389 --> 00:44:51,588
No! I'm not fixing nothing!
1024
00:44:51,590 --> 00:44:54,724
Oh, can't believe
Rosa quit.
1025
00:44:54,726 --> 00:44:59,329
Yeah, well, you know,
this is stressful
on all of us.
1026
00:44:59,331 --> 00:45:01,698
I think I might have
a little something
to help alleviate
1027
00:45:01,700 --> 00:45:03,400
some of that stress.
1028
00:45:04,469 --> 00:45:06,603
Take it. You hit it.
Yeah?
1029
00:45:06,605 --> 00:45:09,306
Now you gonna go spit
up the end and shit.
1030
00:45:09,308 --> 00:45:10,574
Hold it, hold it.
1031
00:45:14,245 --> 00:45:16,880
Damn!
1032
00:45:16,882 --> 00:45:19,549
Yay! Bravo.
Encore, encore.
1033
00:45:20,318 --> 00:45:22,552
I see a face in the chip.
1034
00:45:22,554 --> 00:45:24,387
It's got a mustache.
1035
00:45:24,389 --> 00:45:25,689
You're not moving...
Never get high.
1036
00:45:25,691 --> 00:45:27,624
...fast enough, Malcolm.
Never get high
1037
00:45:27,626 --> 00:45:29,492
with people that don't
know how to get high.
1038
00:45:29,494 --> 00:45:30,694
I'm baked.
1039
00:45:57,388 --> 00:45:58,955
Oh, shit.
1040
00:46:02,860 --> 00:46:04,661
Los Angeles County, 911.
1041
00:46:16,574 --> 00:46:18,608
My dick!
1042
00:46:20,878 --> 00:46:22,345
He fell for it!
1043
00:46:23,447 --> 00:46:24,848
No, I don't want to.
1044
00:46:26,017 --> 00:46:28,718
Okay. Okay, I'll do it.
1045
00:46:34,026 --> 00:46:38,862
Yeah! That's a shotgun
for your ass.
Whoo-hoo-hoo!
1046
00:46:42,601 --> 00:46:43,900
Is he gone?
Oh, he's gone.
1047
00:46:43,902 --> 00:46:45,035
Wow!
1048
00:46:45,037 --> 00:46:46,836
That's that Criss Angel
shit right there.
1049
00:46:46,838 --> 00:46:48,938
Yo, that ghost good.
That ghost good.
1050
00:46:48,940 --> 00:46:50,507
That ghost good.
That ghost good.
1051
00:46:55,613 --> 00:46:56,846
Oh, my God.
What?
1052
00:46:56,848 --> 00:46:58,448
That was awesome!
1053
00:47:05,956 --> 00:47:08,525
Disgusting!
1054
00:47:08,527 --> 00:47:10,694
Malcolm, wake up.
Mmm?
1055
00:47:11,395 --> 00:47:12,929
You peed the bed.
1056
00:47:14,598 --> 00:47:15,699
What?
1057
00:47:15,701 --> 00:47:17,100
You peed the bed.
1058
00:47:17,102 --> 00:47:19,002
Oh, shit! Oh!
1059
00:47:20,538 --> 00:47:21,971
Oh, that's...
1060
00:47:23,542 --> 00:47:25,408
That's not funny.
1061
00:47:25,410 --> 00:47:26,776
Oh, that's fucked up.
1062
00:47:27,545 --> 00:47:28,945
That's real fucked up.
1063
00:47:31,582 --> 00:47:33,817
Hey, Steve,
thanks a lot for bringing
the Ouija board over, man.
1064
00:47:33,819 --> 00:47:34,884
I really appreciate that.
Oh, no worries, bro.
1065
00:47:34,886 --> 00:47:35,985
- Hopefully...
- Hey, baby.
1066
00:47:35,987 --> 00:47:40,824
Oh, hey, Kisha,
the dinner was
so amazing.
1067
00:47:40,826 --> 00:47:44,961
The chicken was
unbelievably tender
and real juicy.
1068
00:47:44,963 --> 00:47:47,464
Oh, well, actually,
that was all Malcolm.
1069
00:47:47,466 --> 00:47:49,833
Was it now?
I'll be damned.
1070
00:47:49,835 --> 00:47:53,803
Well, thanks for
letting me nibble on the leg
because I love dark meat.
1071
00:47:53,805 --> 00:47:56,106
Mmm. Well, that is true.
She eats it up.
1072
00:47:56,108 --> 00:47:57,974
- I bet she does.
- She eats it all up.
1073
00:47:57,976 --> 00:47:59,642
Yeah.
1074
00:47:59,644 --> 00:48:00,944
You guys are
gonna love this wine.
1075
00:48:00,946 --> 00:48:02,712
It is a very robust red.
1076
00:48:02,714 --> 00:48:03,813
Yum.
1077
00:48:03,815 --> 00:48:05,949
Well, you know
what they say.
1078
00:48:05,951 --> 00:48:08,118
"The blacker the berry,
the sweeter the juice."
1079
00:48:08,120 --> 00:48:09,619
Mm-hmm.
1080
00:48:09,621 --> 00:48:12,455
Okay, y'all need to
cut this out.
1081
00:48:12,457 --> 00:48:13,990
Well, you know what?
Normally, we don't
have to chase this hard.
1082
00:48:13,992 --> 00:48:15,492
Mm-hmm.
1083
00:48:15,494 --> 00:48:16,893
Steve...
Hmm?
1084
00:48:16,895 --> 00:48:19,462
I was talking about
that stupid board.
1085
00:48:19,464 --> 00:48:21,464
- Oh.
- Oh.
1086
00:48:21,466 --> 00:48:23,600
Baby, I just want to
communicate with it.
1087
00:48:25,437 --> 00:48:28,104
Are you a ghost
or a demon?
1088
00:48:30,941 --> 00:48:32,575
Who's doing that?
Malcolm.
Who's doing that?
1089
00:48:32,577 --> 00:48:34,110
I don't know.
It's not me.
I swear to God.
1090
00:48:34,112 --> 00:48:36,780
"G."
1091
00:48:36,782 --> 00:48:37,981
You guys.
1092
00:48:37,983 --> 00:48:39,949
"O."
1093
00:48:39,951 --> 00:48:41,818
Steve, are you
pushing this?
I'm not doing anything.
1094
00:48:41,820 --> 00:48:43,787
Oh, what? "S."
1095
00:48:43,789 --> 00:48:44,921
Go where...
1096
00:48:45,956 --> 00:48:47,090
"T."
1097
00:48:48,793 --> 00:48:51,161
A "gost?"
What the hell
is a "gost"?
1098
00:48:51,163 --> 00:48:53,663
Oh, maybe he's
trying to spell "ghost."
1099
00:48:53,665 --> 00:48:55,031
Are you trying
to spell "ghost"?
1100
00:48:56,734 --> 00:48:57,834
You're doing that?
1101
00:48:57,836 --> 00:48:59,002
No. I'm not
moving it, I swear.
1102
00:49:01,439 --> 00:49:02,205
"Yes."
1103
00:49:03,674 --> 00:49:06,142
Wait. So, he just
spelled "ghost" "gost."
1104
00:49:07,746 --> 00:49:11,181
What kind of illiterate,
bitch-ass ghost is this?
1105
00:49:11,183 --> 00:49:13,817
Please. Can you please
use "gost" in a sentence?
1106
00:49:13,819 --> 00:49:15,652
Yeah, right.
1107
00:49:15,654 --> 00:49:17,187
Up yours,
you stupid "gost."
1108
00:49:18,757 --> 00:49:19,989
He probably dyslexic, too.
1109
00:49:19,991 --> 00:49:22,525
He probably
spells "boo," O-O-B.
1110
00:49:22,527 --> 00:49:23,893
Ooh!
1111
00:49:23,895 --> 00:49:25,628
Oh.
Oh.
1112
00:49:26,230 --> 00:49:27,997
Whoa, whoa!
1113
00:49:29,633 --> 00:49:31,201
Somebody's sensitive.
1114
00:49:31,203 --> 00:49:32,469
And stupid.
1115
00:49:35,841 --> 00:49:37,874
You know what?
I think we'll probably just
show ourselves out.
1116
00:50:07,205 --> 00:50:08,671
Good morning, honey.
1117
00:50:08,673 --> 00:50:09,706
Good morning.
Mmm.
1118
00:50:11,609 --> 00:50:12,709
Hey.
1119
00:50:12,910 --> 00:50:14,010
Mmm.
1120
00:50:14,012 --> 00:50:15,912
Well, all right.
1121
00:50:15,914 --> 00:50:22,652
Baby, that is
the best night's sleep
I've had since I moved in.
1122
00:50:22,654 --> 00:50:24,287
Well, maybe because you made
me sleep in the other room.
1123
00:50:25,723 --> 00:50:27,690
What are you
talking about?
1124
00:50:27,692 --> 00:50:29,559
We had
a breakthrough last night.
1125
00:50:30,094 --> 00:50:31,961
A breakthrough? Really?
1126
00:50:31,963 --> 00:50:33,796
Yes, Malcolm.
1127
00:50:33,798 --> 00:50:38,801
The way that you touched me,
caressed me, made love to me.
1128
00:50:40,839 --> 00:50:42,805
What are you
talking about?
1129
00:50:42,807 --> 00:50:45,275
Malcolm,
we had sex last night!
1130
00:50:45,277 --> 00:50:46,976
No, we didn't.
1131
00:50:46,978 --> 00:50:48,945
Yes, we did.
For about two hours!
1132
00:50:48,947 --> 00:50:51,080
Uh, that definitely
wasn't me.
1133
00:50:51,082 --> 00:50:52,982
Well, who else
could it have been?
1134
00:50:56,020 --> 00:50:57,020
No, get off of me!
1135
00:51:06,831 --> 00:51:08,998
Oh, my God.
1136
00:51:12,002 --> 00:51:15,638
Mmm.
1137
00:51:15,640 --> 00:51:16,873
Mmm, Malcolm.
1138
00:51:17,207 --> 00:51:19,008
What?
1139
00:51:19,010 --> 00:51:20,310
Ooh, that's new.
1140
00:51:23,315 --> 00:51:27,116
Oh.
Are you doing the alphabet?
1141
00:51:27,118 --> 00:51:29,052
Uh-uh, nigger,clean your plate.Come on.
1142
00:51:30,155 --> 00:51:33,723
Slob it down, slob it down.
1143
00:51:33,725 --> 00:51:35,825
Waterboarding your ass.
1144
00:51:36,994 --> 00:51:38,261
Mm, Malcolm.Did you grow?
1145
00:51:39,864 --> 00:51:42,298
Ride the pony! Ride it. Oh!
1146
00:51:43,969 --> 00:51:46,169
Oh! Get it! Get it! Get it!Oh, I've had it.
1147
00:51:46,171 --> 00:51:49,205
Oh, yeah! Dip it!Dip it down!
1148
00:51:50,041 --> 00:51:52,709
Why don't I finish up...
I can't watch anymore.
1149
00:51:52,711 --> 00:51:54,243
I just can't watch anymore.
I'll finish.
1150
00:52:01,987 --> 00:52:03,753
Uh-uh, you ain't done yet.
1151
00:52:13,264 --> 00:52:15,365
I had no idea
you was a squirter.
1152
00:52:17,368 --> 00:52:19,068
Neither did I?
1153
00:52:22,339 --> 00:52:24,340
Hey.
Don't touch me.
1154
00:52:24,342 --> 00:52:28,144
You seriously
have an attitude
with me right now?
1155
00:52:28,146 --> 00:52:30,747
You liked it.
What?
1156
00:52:30,749 --> 00:52:32,682
You heard me.
You liked it.
1157
00:52:32,684 --> 00:52:35,118
You like having
sex with that thing
1158
00:52:35,120 --> 00:52:36,386
more than you like
having sex with me.
1159
00:52:37,989 --> 00:52:41,090
Malcolm, I was asleep.
1160
00:52:41,092 --> 00:52:42,158
Mm-hmm.
Talk to the hand.
I was...
1161
00:52:42,160 --> 00:52:43,660
That's the hand.
Talk to it.
1162
00:52:43,662 --> 00:52:44,927
I was asleep, okay?
1163
00:52:44,929 --> 00:52:46,396
I didn't know I was
having sex with a ghost.
1164
00:52:46,398 --> 00:52:48,097
Aha!
1165
00:52:48,099 --> 00:52:50,400
You just admitted
to having sex with a ghost!
1166
00:52:50,402 --> 00:52:53,836
And you liked it!
"Oh, Malcolm, you grew."
1167
00:52:54,405 --> 00:52:55,772
What happened, Kisha?
1168
00:52:55,774 --> 00:52:57,340
I'm not adequate
enough for you?
1169
00:52:57,342 --> 00:53:00,743
Huh? I'm sorry.
I tried Extense, Kisha.
1170
00:53:00,745 --> 00:53:01,978
Went through
the whole program.
1171
00:53:01,980 --> 00:53:04,714
I did Cialis,
Viagra and Maca.
1172
00:53:04,716 --> 00:53:06,182
Okay.
All it did was
get me dizzy,
1173
00:53:06,184 --> 00:53:07,984
you know...
Okay, stop it, all right?
1174
00:53:07,986 --> 00:53:09,952
That is not fair!
I was anally bleeding
1175
00:53:09,954 --> 00:53:11,454
for a month,
and you didn't even know.
1176
00:53:11,456 --> 00:53:13,456
Listen, that is not fair,
1177
00:53:13,458 --> 00:53:16,259
because I'm the one
who was violated,
not you.
1178
00:53:20,764 --> 00:53:22,198
I'm sorry.
1179
00:53:22,200 --> 00:53:24,067
I'm sorry,
I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
1180
00:53:25,969 --> 00:53:28,237
Must have been
a horrific experience
for you.
1181
00:53:28,239 --> 00:53:29,972
I'm sorry.
1182
00:53:29,974 --> 00:53:32,709
Eh, could have been worse.
1183
00:53:34,912 --> 00:53:36,012
Hey, cuz... Ray-Ray.
1184
00:53:36,014 --> 00:53:37,113
You got a beef
up in here?
1185
00:53:37,115 --> 00:53:39,248
Lots of niggers.
Not beef. Hey...
1186
00:53:39,250 --> 00:53:41,317
Hey, what the fuck is
you taping for, Kisha?
1187
00:53:41,319 --> 00:53:43,386
We thugs.
We can't be on no TV!
1188
00:53:43,388 --> 00:53:45,321
Shut up, Ray-Ray.
1189
00:53:45,323 --> 00:53:47,323
Get the fuck off me.
Okay. Sorry.
1190
00:53:47,325 --> 00:53:48,825
So, what's going on
with this beef, homey?
1191
00:53:48,827 --> 00:53:50,960
It's that old bitch
next door,
ain't it, homey?
1192
00:53:50,962 --> 00:53:52,729
Yeah, she was
eyeballing me, cuz,
1193
00:53:52,731 --> 00:53:54,797
when I was all up
in her windowsill
last night.
1194
00:53:54,799 --> 00:53:57,266
But she got a nice body,
though, cuz.
1195
00:53:57,268 --> 00:53:59,235
You know, like a sexy-ass
baked potato, homey.
1196
00:53:59,237 --> 00:54:00,436
It's not like that.
1197
00:54:00,438 --> 00:54:02,138
What the fuck is it like,
then, homey?
1198
00:54:02,140 --> 00:54:04,474
Well, someone's coming
between me and Kisha.
1199
00:54:04,476 --> 00:54:06,476
Somebody fucked
your girl, cuz?
1200
00:54:06,478 --> 00:54:08,111
Well, not...
I be the one that
fucked your girl!
1201
00:54:08,113 --> 00:54:09,879
Oh, please.
1202
00:54:09,881 --> 00:54:11,781
How you let somebody
fuck your girl
before me, cuz?
1203
00:54:11,783 --> 00:54:13,015
We family, nigger!
1204
00:54:13,017 --> 00:54:14,217
I... I'm sorry... Kinda.
1205
00:54:14,219 --> 00:54:17,153
How the fuck do you "kinda"
bang Kisha, homey?
1206
00:54:17,155 --> 00:54:19,789
Did he have
one pant leg in,
one pant leg out?
1207
00:54:19,791 --> 00:54:21,824
Like,
he wasn't even interested
in fucking her, homey?
1208
00:54:21,826 --> 00:54:23,493
Like, he had somewhere
better to be, homey?
1209
00:54:23,495 --> 00:54:25,528
Okay, Ray-Ray,
that is not what it's like.
1210
00:54:25,530 --> 00:54:28,798
And can you
please tell your Negro
to back the hell up off me?
1211
00:54:28,800 --> 00:54:31,134
Hey! Pelvis back
2 inches, homey.
1212
00:54:31,136 --> 00:54:33,136
But stay up
on her, though.
1213
00:54:33,138 --> 00:54:34,937
What the fuck is
it like then, Kisha? Hmm?
1214
00:54:34,939 --> 00:54:36,205
If you listen,
I'll tell you.
1215
00:54:36,207 --> 00:54:37,840
You tell me!
1216
00:54:37,842 --> 00:54:40,209
I can't wait to get
my hands on this fool.
1217
00:54:40,211 --> 00:54:42,044
- Come on out, cuz!
Ray-Ray, cut it out.
1218
00:54:42,046 --> 00:54:43,813
You're gonna make it mad.
1219
00:54:46,984 --> 00:54:49,852
I don't give a fuck, Kisha!
1220
00:54:49,854 --> 00:54:52,789
He should be worried about
making Ray-Ray mad
up in here, bitch!
1221
00:54:52,791 --> 00:54:54,223
Who you
callin' a bitch?
1222
00:54:54,225 --> 00:54:55,358
Show yourself!
1223
00:54:55,360 --> 00:54:56,526
No, Ray, don't do that!
Don't...
1224
00:55:00,831 --> 00:55:02,565
What the fuck is that?
1225
00:55:02,567 --> 00:55:04,300
A ghost, Ray.
1226
00:55:05,402 --> 00:55:07,403
A "ghost" ghost?
A "ghost" ghost.
1227
00:55:07,405 --> 00:55:10,406
Yes! Ray-Ray,
that's what
we've been trying
1228
00:55:10,408 --> 00:55:12,341
to tell you
for 15 minutes!
1229
00:55:13,010 --> 00:55:14,510
You idiot.
1230
00:55:14,512 --> 00:55:19,215
What the...
What in the hell...
1231
00:55:20,517 --> 00:55:22,418
What happened to
your furniture, cuz?
1232
00:55:31,094 --> 00:55:32,595
Get your hands up, cuz!
1233
00:55:32,597 --> 00:55:33,930
You're trying to
get me killed, cuz.
1234
00:55:33,932 --> 00:55:35,331
I didn't, Ray-Ray! Ray!
1235
00:55:36,366 --> 00:55:37,500
God!
1236
00:55:40,237 --> 00:55:41,337
My stuff!
1237
00:55:43,040 --> 00:55:45,541
Babe, you got to admit,
it's kind of impressive.
1238
00:55:52,082 --> 00:55:54,550
Perfume? Hey!
1239
00:55:54,552 --> 00:55:57,053
Yeah, it's new.
It's called Entity.
1240
00:55:57,055 --> 00:55:59,555
I like it.
1241
00:55:59,557 --> 00:56:01,624
What's the occasion?
What's up?
1242
00:56:01,626 --> 00:56:04,594
Malcolm, is it a crime
to want to sleep
1243
00:56:04,596 --> 00:56:06,229
with no panties on?
1244
00:56:09,132 --> 00:56:12,068
I get it. This...
This ain't for me.
1245
00:56:12,070 --> 00:56:13,436
This is for him.
1246
00:56:13,438 --> 00:56:15,338
Who are you
talking about?
1247
00:56:16,273 --> 00:56:18,107
You know exactly
who I'm talking about.
1248
00:56:18,109 --> 00:56:20,910
For your little
supernatural lover.
1249
00:56:20,912 --> 00:56:22,278
Malcolm,
you're being ridiculous,
1250
00:56:22,280 --> 00:56:24,080
and I'm gonna
say this right now.
1251
00:56:24,082 --> 00:56:25,982
Insecurity is
not attractive.
1252
00:56:25,984 --> 00:56:28,150
Yeah? Well,
being a paranormal
jump-off
1253
00:56:28,152 --> 00:56:31,254
is not attractive
either, hon.
Good night.
1254
00:56:31,256 --> 00:56:33,155
You're taking this
too far.
Whatever.
1255
00:56:33,157 --> 00:56:35,124
I have no interest
in a ghost.
1256
00:56:46,003 --> 00:56:48,037
You gonna try
and contact him?
1257
00:56:49,339 --> 00:56:50,573
Good night!
I was gonna...
1258
00:56:50,575 --> 00:56:51,507
Good night!
1259
00:57:57,708 --> 00:57:59,375
Get off of me!
1260
00:58:03,013 --> 00:58:04,680
Baby.
Hey!
1261
00:58:04,682 --> 00:58:06,082
Hey.
Hey.
1262
00:58:06,084 --> 00:58:07,450
What's...
What's up with the donut?
1263
00:58:07,452 --> 00:58:11,387
Oh, uh, I just got a little
hemorrhoid, that's all.
1264
00:58:11,389 --> 00:58:13,022
Oh, I'm sorry.
Hurts.
1265
00:58:13,024 --> 00:58:15,558
So, anything happen
eventful last night?
1266
00:58:15,560 --> 00:58:18,761
No, nothing eventful.
Just, you know, the usual.
1267
00:58:18,763 --> 00:58:21,597
Just, like, you know,
door slams, stuff like that.
1268
00:58:21,599 --> 00:58:23,032
Oh. I wanna see.
1269
00:58:23,034 --> 00:58:24,233
Nope, nope.
1270
00:58:24,235 --> 00:58:25,167
Nothing for you
to see, baby.
1271
00:58:25,169 --> 00:58:26,602
Wait! Baby!
1272
00:58:26,604 --> 00:58:28,137
Hey!
1273
00:58:28,139 --> 00:58:29,372
Can you... So rude!
Stop! Stop!
1274
00:58:29,374 --> 00:58:30,573
Hey! Malcolm!
Would you...
1275
00:58:30,575 --> 00:58:32,308
Cut it...
Just gotta do...
1276
00:58:32,310 --> 00:58:33,576
Oh, my!
You know what?
1277
00:58:33,578 --> 00:58:35,411
You...
You got altar-boyed.
1278
00:58:35,413 --> 00:58:36,746
You know what?
1279
00:58:36,748 --> 00:58:39,048
You can't...
Malcolm, hold on a second.
1280
00:58:39,050 --> 00:58:41,083
No, no, no, no, no!
You just uploaded it!
1281
00:58:41,085 --> 00:58:42,184
No, no, no!
1282
00:58:42,186 --> 00:58:43,519
Oh, no!
1283
00:58:44,422 --> 00:58:48,257
You're gonna be bigger than
Charlie Bit My Finger.
1284
00:58:53,697 --> 00:58:55,431
Say hello
to the camera.
1285
00:58:55,433 --> 00:58:59,168
Get the camera out my face.
I'm not in the mood. Stop it!
1286
00:58:59,170 --> 00:59:04,540
Now that you've been
touched by an angel,
suddenly you're camera shy?
1287
00:59:05,609 --> 00:59:07,777
Let me ask you
a question, Kisha.
1288
00:59:07,779 --> 00:59:09,545
Is this the first
ghost you slept with?
1289
00:59:09,547 --> 00:59:12,248
Or it's the first one
I caught you with?
1290
00:59:12,250 --> 00:59:13,749
You wanna go there?
Yeah, I wanna go there.
1291
00:59:13,751 --> 00:59:15,117
When did you
become ghost pussy?
1292
00:59:15,119 --> 00:59:20,056
Maybe I wouldn't need a ghost
if I was with a real man!
1293
00:59:20,058 --> 00:59:24,360
There are Super Bowl ads
that last longer than you do!
1294
00:59:24,362 --> 00:59:27,730
People wait all year
for those
Super Bowl ads, baby.
1295
00:59:27,732 --> 00:59:29,265
All year!
1296
00:59:29,267 --> 00:59:31,534
And maybe it's 'cause
every time I see you naked,
1297
00:59:31,536 --> 00:59:33,636
all I can think about is
you sitting on the toilet,
1298
00:59:33,638 --> 00:59:37,540
I'm sorry, Kisha.
Some things just
shouldn't be shared.
1299
00:59:37,542 --> 00:59:38,707
I let my guard down and...
1300
00:59:38,709 --> 00:59:40,242
Oh, you let
your guard down.
1301
00:59:40,244 --> 00:59:41,310
...you're gonna
throw it back in my face?
1302
00:59:41,312 --> 00:59:42,611
You killed my dog!
1303
00:59:42,613 --> 00:59:44,213
You have not let this go!
1304
00:59:44,215 --> 00:59:45,281
Yeah, let's go there.
1305
00:59:45,283 --> 00:59:46,382
I did not kill your dog!
1306
00:59:46,384 --> 00:59:47,850
You dog murderer.
1307
00:59:47,852 --> 00:59:49,618
That was my baby,
and you killed it
on purpose!
1308
00:59:49,620 --> 00:59:50,686
Oh, your baby was
87 years old!
1309
00:59:51,421 --> 00:59:53,155
Shh.
1310
00:59:55,692 --> 00:59:57,359
Okay.
Okay.
1311
00:59:57,361 --> 00:59:58,527
All right, come on.
Let's go outside.
1312
00:59:58,529 --> 01:00:00,496
Okay. Okay.
Come on.
1313
01:00:00,498 --> 01:00:02,565
Okay. Go!
Okay.
1314
01:00:02,567 --> 01:00:05,267
Well, you heard the psychic,
all right?
1315
01:00:05,269 --> 01:00:06,635
It feeds off of
negative energy.
1316
01:00:06,637 --> 01:00:08,270
All of your arguing
is making it stronger.
1317
01:00:08,272 --> 01:00:09,271
My arguing?
My arguing?
1318
01:00:09,273 --> 01:00:10,406
You're the one that...
1319
01:00:10,408 --> 01:00:11,674
That's right.
1320
01:00:11,676 --> 01:00:12,808
We have to
stop fighting.
I can't.
1321
01:00:12,810 --> 01:00:14,243
You are getting
on my nerves.
1322
01:00:14,245 --> 01:00:16,178
Well, just pretend.
1323
01:00:25,422 --> 01:00:27,156
Good thing we
switched to plastic.
1324
01:00:36,600 --> 01:00:38,234
We'll have to get
that pot rack looked at.
1325
01:00:38,236 --> 01:00:39,735
Mm-hmm.
1326
01:00:50,715 --> 01:00:51,647
Tea's ready.
Mmm.
1327
01:01:02,225 --> 01:01:03,626
I'm gonna make
a run to Starbucks.
1328
01:01:12,602 --> 01:01:13,936
Can you pick me
up a latte?
1329
01:01:13,938 --> 01:01:15,237
You got it!
1330
01:01:31,355 --> 01:01:32,454
Malcolm!
1331
01:01:41,332 --> 01:01:43,532
Yeah! I kicked you
in your ghost balls!
1332
01:01:43,534 --> 01:01:44,967
I got some for you...
1333
01:01:49,406 --> 01:01:50,739
Malcolm!
1334
01:01:50,741 --> 01:01:53,742
Wake up!
Nigger, open your eyes!
1335
01:01:53,744 --> 01:01:56,312
Take off those
damn headphones!
1336
01:01:56,314 --> 01:01:57,980
Malcolm!
1337
01:02:02,452 --> 01:02:03,919
Malcolm!
1338
01:02:03,921 --> 01:02:05,888
Malcolm!
1339
01:02:18,935 --> 01:02:20,970
Yeah, listen.
Something's wrong
with Kisha.
1340
01:02:20,972 --> 01:02:22,972
No, no, she's been
cleaning all morning.
1341
01:02:24,474 --> 01:02:27,376
Dude, Kisha don't clean.
1342
01:02:27,378 --> 01:02:29,712
That's good, baby.
Not the couch, honey!
Not the couch.
1343
01:02:29,714 --> 01:02:31,647
Not the couch.
Yes, the floor.
1344
01:02:31,649 --> 01:02:34,283
Yeah, good girl, good girl.
1345
01:02:34,285 --> 01:02:36,685
Yo, man, earlier,
I caught her masturbating
1346
01:02:37,420 --> 01:02:39,321
with a crucifix.
1347
01:02:39,323 --> 01:02:40,856
Kisha?
1348
01:02:42,559 --> 01:02:43,759
Wouldn't you rather
use this?
1349
01:02:48,966 --> 01:02:49,932
Okay.
1350
01:02:51,401 --> 01:02:52,768
Exactly. I'm...
1351
01:02:54,971 --> 01:02:56,705
Uh, dude, I gotta go.
1352
01:02:56,707 --> 01:02:59,541
No, she's
walking the dog.
1353
01:02:59,543 --> 01:03:01,744
What's wrong with that?
The dog is dead.
1354
01:03:01,746 --> 01:03:04,280
I gotta go.
Uh, Kisha?
1355
01:03:05,382 --> 01:03:07,416
Kisha. Oh, boy. Kisha!
1356
01:03:08,551 --> 01:03:10,753
Kisha? Baby?
1357
01:03:12,722 --> 01:03:15,858
Listen,
I just wanted to apologize
for the way I been acting.
1358
01:03:15,860 --> 01:03:19,828
and I don't want anything
to come between us.
1359
01:03:19,830 --> 01:03:22,898
And what the hell is that
Twilightshit on your neck?
1360
01:03:22,900 --> 01:03:26,035
Oh, my God! Oh, God!
1361
01:03:26,037 --> 01:03:27,469
What the hell?
1362
01:03:28,805 --> 01:03:30,939
Oh, yeah.
She is definitely on the rag.
1363
01:03:32,776 --> 01:03:34,510
Oh, Father.
Thank God you could make it.
1364
01:03:35,445 --> 01:03:36,979
Nigger, call me "Doug."
1365
01:03:36,981 --> 01:03:39,048
I don't like being
called "Father." No way.
1366
01:03:39,050 --> 01:03:41,717
Plus, I got a couple issues
with a few people out there
1367
01:03:41,719 --> 01:03:43,886
claiming false child support.
1368
01:03:43,888 --> 01:03:46,021
I mean,
just 'cause the little
nigger got my eyes,
1369
01:03:46,023 --> 01:03:48,991
my nose, my extremely rare
AB-negative blood type,
1370
01:03:48,993 --> 01:03:51,627
don't mean I'm
the damn daddy.
1371
01:03:51,629 --> 01:03:53,696
Plus, I'm still in training.
1372
01:03:53,698 --> 01:03:55,497
At the seminary?
1373
01:03:55,499 --> 01:03:56,865
No, the penitentiary.
1374
01:03:56,867 --> 01:03:58,667
What?
Shit, nigger,
1375
01:03:58,669 --> 01:04:00,636
I've been
incarcerated 15 years.
1376
01:04:00,638 --> 01:04:02,971
Oh.
But you learn a lot out there
reading on the yard.
1377
01:04:02,973 --> 01:04:05,741
You shank a nigger,
come in,
read the scripture.
1378
01:04:05,743 --> 01:04:07,876
Shank a motherfucker,
read the scripture.
1379
01:04:07,878 --> 01:04:09,445
You gonna let
a nigger in or what?
1380
01:04:09,447 --> 01:04:12,781
Damn.
Standing out here, nigger.
It's cold as hell.
1381
01:04:15,819 --> 01:04:16,819
Ooh.
1382
01:04:16,821 --> 01:04:20,656
Uh, bro, I'm gonna have
to level with you.
1383
01:04:20,658 --> 01:04:22,658
This bitch don't look right.
1384
01:04:22,660 --> 01:04:26,595
I mean, she look all
ashy and shit, and just...
1385
01:04:26,597 --> 01:04:28,864
You know, like E.T.
with a weave.
1386
01:04:28,866 --> 01:04:30,566
If I was you,
I'd just be out.
1387
01:04:30,568 --> 01:04:32,034
Let's just go.
Come on. Let's go.
1388
01:04:32,036 --> 01:04:34,636
Uh, I...
I can't leave her.
That's my girl.
1389
01:04:34,638 --> 01:04:35,971
Are you kidding me?
Come on, man.
1390
01:04:35,973 --> 01:04:37,639
There's so much
pussy in the world, man.
1391
01:04:37,641 --> 01:04:39,108
You don't have to
be with just her.
1392
01:04:39,110 --> 01:04:40,509
Come to the congregation.
1393
01:04:40,511 --> 01:04:42,511
I've got a few in
the congregation,
1394
01:04:42,513 --> 01:04:43,979
I'm trying to tell you.
Check this out.
1395
01:04:47,685 --> 01:04:48,984
Now, I know she look old.
1396
01:04:48,986 --> 01:04:51,153
I know she...
But she a freak,
and she got skills.
1397
01:04:51,155 --> 01:04:53,055
Can we go in there
and just save her?
1398
01:04:53,057 --> 01:04:55,491
Yo! Yo, dawg,
you yelling at me
right now?
1399
01:04:55,493 --> 01:04:57,793
I know you just
didn't scream on me, dawg.
1400
01:04:57,795 --> 01:05:00,162
I'm here to
exorcise your bitch, man.
1401
01:05:00,164 --> 01:05:02,464
So you wanna
go in the room.
All the way in?
1402
01:05:04,000 --> 01:05:05,934
Look at her hair.
Her hair's all crazy.
1403
01:05:07,137 --> 01:05:08,670
You think I'm scared
right now, but I'm not.
1404
01:05:08,672 --> 01:05:09,805
I didn't think
you was scared.
1405
01:05:09,807 --> 01:05:11,507
No, I'm just
a little concerned
1406
01:05:11,509 --> 01:05:13,776
that I don't have
the right stuff.
1407
01:05:13,778 --> 01:05:15,677
Do you have,
like, a loaded gun?
1408
01:05:15,679 --> 01:05:16,979
I'll shank this bitch
for you.
1409
01:05:20,885 --> 01:05:23,685
It's cold as
a motherfucker in here, man.
Y'all ain't got no heat?
1410
01:05:25,522 --> 01:05:27,823
How you doing,
crazy bitch?
1411
01:05:27,825 --> 01:05:28,957
Kisha.
1412
01:05:28,959 --> 01:05:31,760
Kisha, I'm Father Doug.
1413
01:05:32,695 --> 01:05:35,564
I'm here to
un-possess you.
1414
01:05:35,566 --> 01:05:37,900
Wait a minute.
She's moving.
1415
01:05:37,902 --> 01:05:42,004
This is some
crazy-ass shit, man.
1416
01:05:42,006 --> 01:05:43,472
Who are you?
1417
01:05:45,041 --> 01:05:47,543
I wasn't
expecting her to talk.
1418
01:05:47,545 --> 01:05:48,811
I'm Father Doug.
1419
01:05:48,813 --> 01:05:50,979
Connect the cut.
Connect the cut.
1420
01:05:53,050 --> 01:05:55,751
Connect the cut.
Connect the cut.
Connect the cut.
1421
01:05:55,753 --> 01:05:58,620
Oh, oh, that's some of that
Busta Rhymes shit
1422
01:05:58,622 --> 01:05:59,822
she doin' right there.
1423
01:05:59,824 --> 01:06:01,924
She's on that Bus A Bus.
1424
01:06:01,926 --> 01:06:04,059
It's kinda more
like Twista, though.
It's real fast.
1425
01:06:08,932 --> 01:06:11,099
Do you know how to
connect the cuts?
1426
01:06:18,241 --> 01:06:20,576
Uh, uh, uh.
1427
01:06:20,578 --> 01:06:22,711
Tic-tac-toe in your face!
1428
01:06:22,713 --> 01:06:24,947
Straight X's,
straight across, diagonal.
1429
01:06:24,949 --> 01:06:27,082
I almost had your
ass the other way.
1430
01:06:27,084 --> 01:06:30,686
Tic-tac-toe on your arm,
connect the cuts.
1431
01:06:30,688 --> 01:06:32,020
That's what she was saying,
"Connect the cuts."
1432
01:06:32,889 --> 01:06:35,057
I wanna show you something.
1433
01:06:38,695 --> 01:06:43,265
"Suck it." That's gangsta!
That's gangsta.
1434
01:06:43,267 --> 01:06:44,867
You wanna see mine?
1435
01:06:44,869 --> 01:06:50,539
Check this out.
I did a little something
a while back.
1436
01:06:50,541 --> 01:06:53,275
I did that in prison.
Yeah, you know,
1437
01:06:53,277 --> 01:06:55,744
it hurt. But, you know,
1438
01:06:55,746 --> 01:06:57,779
you gotta go through it.
You gotta earn it.
1439
01:06:57,781 --> 01:06:59,715
Everybody went crazy.
They was like,
1440
01:06:59,717 --> 01:07:01,650
"No, you didn't!
You so hard, dawg!"
1441
01:07:01,652 --> 01:07:03,218
I had control of
that TV for a month.
1442
01:07:04,855 --> 01:07:07,089
Would you like to
see my paintings?
1443
01:07:08,591 --> 01:07:10,225
Sure. Of course.
1444
01:07:10,227 --> 01:07:14,663
You know, I consider myself
a bit of an art aficionado.
1445
01:07:14,665 --> 01:07:16,732
I think it's going well.
It's going good.
1446
01:07:18,902 --> 01:07:20,636
Mm-hmm.
1447
01:07:20,638 --> 01:07:22,571
If, uh...
1448
01:07:22,573 --> 01:07:24,907
Well, you know, if I can be
perfectly honest with you,
1449
01:07:24,909 --> 01:07:26,108
it's your
technique that's sloppy.
1450
01:07:26,110 --> 01:07:27,676
But that's, you know,
1451
01:07:27,678 --> 01:07:29,912
to be expected from someone
that's possessed.
1452
01:07:37,153 --> 01:07:38,754
Hmm?
1453
01:07:42,191 --> 01:07:44,726
Ah!
1454
01:07:45,862 --> 01:07:47,262
Damn, that made
my breath stink.
1455
01:07:48,164 --> 01:07:50,832
Man, that breath is kickin'!
1456
01:07:50,834 --> 01:07:53,101
I can only imagine
what the kitty smell like.
1457
01:07:53,103 --> 01:07:55,103
Pure evil.
1458
01:07:55,105 --> 01:07:56,572
Goddamn.
1459
01:08:01,644 --> 01:08:04,046
I'm Dan "the Man" Kearney
and today on Ghost Guys
1460
01:08:04,048 --> 01:08:06,582
we're investigating
paranormal activity
1461
01:08:06,584 --> 01:08:08,850
at the Johnson residence
in suburban Los Angeles.
1462
01:08:08,852 --> 01:08:10,686
This is going be
very unsettling.
1463
01:08:10,688 --> 01:08:12,588
Not like those other
fake ghost hunter shows.
1464
01:08:12,590 --> 01:08:13,989
This stuff is real.
1465
01:08:13,991 --> 01:08:17,659
And I don't mean like,
"I saw my dead nana" scary,
1466
01:08:17,661 --> 01:08:21,163
but scary like,
"I left a bag of meth
in the glove box
1467
01:08:21,165 --> 01:08:22,831
"and I'm getting
pulled up by the cops
1468
01:08:22,833 --> 01:08:24,800
"and I got a hot pipe
under the seat."
1469
01:08:24,802 --> 01:08:27,169
That kind of scary.
Let's go inside.
1470
01:08:27,171 --> 01:08:30,706
All right,
on behalf of Ghost Guys,
1471
01:08:30,708 --> 01:08:33,709
the greatest ghost-hunter
show on the Internet
or cable access,
1472
01:08:33,711 --> 01:08:36,078
I'd like to thank you
for having us.
You've made a good choice.
1473
01:08:36,080 --> 01:08:37,813
You're welcome.
Thank you very
much for coming.
1474
01:08:37,815 --> 01:08:39,681
Malcolm, Malcolm,
I'm not sure about this.
1475
01:08:39,683 --> 01:08:43,285
I mean, this guy, sure.
But Sling Blade there,
don't trust him.
1476
01:08:43,287 --> 01:08:45,120
You said you needed
ghost hunters right?
1477
01:08:45,122 --> 01:08:47,656
I also said I
needed a psychic.
1478
01:08:49,792 --> 01:08:51,226
Chip, hey, what's up?
1479
01:08:51,228 --> 01:08:52,828
What's going on?
What are you doing here?
1480
01:08:52,830 --> 01:08:54,296
I'm a psychic,
I sensed you
needed my help.
1481
01:08:54,298 --> 01:08:55,764
I do.
1482
01:08:55,766 --> 01:08:56,865
There's a new person.
1483
01:08:56,867 --> 01:08:59,801
Yeah, that's Bob.
Come on, let's go.
1484
01:08:59,803 --> 01:09:02,804
Hey, there's something
different about you.
Something new.
1485
01:09:02,806 --> 01:09:05,374
I can't quite put
my finger in you.
On you. On it.
1486
01:09:05,376 --> 01:09:06,642
Haircut.
1487
01:09:06,644 --> 01:09:07,809
Someone's got a secret.
1488
01:09:07,811 --> 01:09:09,011
No, I don't. Come on.
1489
01:09:09,013 --> 01:09:10,679
Hey, guys.
1490
01:09:10,681 --> 01:09:14,816
Gentlemen,
what we have here
is a crazy bitch.
1491
01:09:14,818 --> 01:09:16,685
Now, I would leave
her possessed ass
1492
01:09:16,687 --> 01:09:18,887
in the alley downtown
if it was me,
1493
01:09:18,889 --> 01:09:21,757
but apparently,
Malcolm's got
a thing for the freak.
1494
01:09:21,759 --> 01:09:23,425
Holy shit.
1495
01:09:23,427 --> 01:09:25,661
So, what you're saying is,
there's an actual
demon here in the house?
1496
01:09:25,663 --> 01:09:27,229
It's in the bitch.
1497
01:09:28,264 --> 01:09:31,033
I'm sorry, "ho."
No disrespect.
1498
01:09:31,035 --> 01:09:33,268
"Bitch" is fine.
"Bitch" is fine.
1499
01:09:33,270 --> 01:09:35,704
All right,
this is what I'm getting.
1500
01:09:35,706 --> 01:09:40,876
The entity does not want
to leave this house,
1501
01:09:41,678 --> 01:09:42,844
okay?
1502
01:09:43,946 --> 01:09:47,082
It's struggling
to stay inside.
1503
01:09:47,084 --> 01:09:49,384
And Malcolm,
I need to know.
1504
01:09:49,386 --> 01:09:52,954
How far are you gonna go
to get this demon out?
1505
01:09:52,956 --> 01:09:54,890
I'll do anything.
1506
01:09:56,260 --> 01:10:00,462
I don't see how
this is gonna help anything.
1507
01:10:00,464 --> 01:10:02,464
This just got weird.
1508
01:10:02,466 --> 01:10:04,266
What is this
supposed to do?
1509
01:10:06,436 --> 01:10:10,305
Um... Nothing.
I was just trying to see
how far you would go.
1510
01:10:11,774 --> 01:10:12,841
What did I tell you?
1511
01:10:12,843 --> 01:10:13,942
I think she looks fine.
1512
01:10:13,944 --> 01:10:15,210
Clearly does not
look fine.
1513
01:10:15,212 --> 01:10:17,112
She looks fucked up.
I'm gonna need my Bible.
1514
01:10:17,114 --> 01:10:18,747
You're gonna bless her?
1515
01:10:18,749 --> 01:10:21,717
Well, yeah,
I blessed this joint.
Mm-hmm.
1516
01:10:21,719 --> 01:10:24,186
Right out of
the First Chronicles.
1517
01:10:24,188 --> 01:10:28,457
I haven't done many exorcisms,
but I don't think
that's appropriate.
1518
01:10:28,459 --> 01:10:32,761
I get it, I get it.
I can fix that,
though, right now.
1519
01:10:32,763 --> 01:10:33,829
I got a little something.
1520
01:10:33,831 --> 01:10:35,330
What's going on?
1521
01:10:35,332 --> 01:10:38,366
That's a demon party.
Yeah, look out.
1522
01:10:42,038 --> 01:10:43,905
What is this, 1985?
1523
01:10:43,907 --> 01:10:47,142
'Cause I feel like
we could exorcise
any demons in the area.
1524
01:10:47,144 --> 01:10:49,478
What? I'll take on
a whole team of demons.
1525
01:10:49,480 --> 01:10:50,879
What we should do is
get all the demons
in one room
1526
01:10:50,881 --> 01:10:51,980
and get rid of them
all at once.
1527
01:10:51,982 --> 01:10:53,882
Do a collective
demon-gathering.
1528
01:10:53,884 --> 01:10:55,050
We just walk up
to people's doors,
1529
01:10:55,052 --> 01:10:56,218
"How you doing?
How you doing?"
1530
01:10:56,220 --> 01:10:59,187
"We heard y'all got
demons up in there.
What's up?"
1531
01:10:59,189 --> 01:11:03,458
I used to braid hair.
I could actually
braid her hair right now.
1532
01:11:03,460 --> 01:11:05,761
I'll be hitting her
with some Allen Iversons
and stuff.
1533
01:11:05,763 --> 01:11:08,797
I'll give her
some Sprewells.
I'll take it back.
1534
01:11:08,799 --> 01:11:11,266
Let's do
a little exorcism.
1535
01:11:11,268 --> 01:11:13,935
All right,
"Blessed is he
1536
01:11:13,937 --> 01:11:17,272
"who, in the name of
charity and goodwill,
1537
01:11:18,908 --> 01:11:22,344
"shepherds the weak
through
the valley of darkness.
1538
01:11:22,346 --> 01:11:26,314
"For he is truly
his brother's keeper
1539
01:11:26,316 --> 01:11:29,451
"and the finder
of lost children.
1540
01:11:29,453 --> 01:11:33,121
"And you will know
my name is the Lord
1541
01:11:33,123 --> 01:11:36,825
"when I lay my
vengeance upon you!"
1542
01:11:36,827 --> 01:11:39,895
Did you just quote
Sam Jackson in Pulp Fiction?
1543
01:11:41,532 --> 01:11:47,536
You got that.
You got me on that.
You got me on that one!
1544
01:11:47,538 --> 01:11:49,237
I love Sam Jackson, dawg.
1545
01:11:49,239 --> 01:11:51,006
The Jheri curl
will be dripping
and everything.
1546
01:11:51,008 --> 01:11:52,474
Plus, on the plane movie.
1547
01:11:52,476 --> 01:11:54,543
When he was on the plane
and he killed the snakes.
1548
01:11:54,545 --> 01:11:56,077
That's my favorite movie.
1549
01:11:56,079 --> 01:11:58,280
"Enough is enough!
1550
01:11:58,282 --> 01:12:01,349
"I have had it with these
motherfucking snakes
1551
01:12:01,351 --> 01:12:03,218
"on this
motherfucking plane!"
1552
01:12:03,220 --> 01:12:05,153
Hey, all right!
That's what I'm
talking about.
1553
01:12:05,155 --> 01:12:06,555
Guys!
All right, all right!
1554
01:12:06,557 --> 01:12:10,158
Exorcism. That's what
we're here for, right?
1555
01:12:10,160 --> 01:12:13,195
Yes, go back to the thing
that got us here
in the first place.
1556
01:12:13,197 --> 01:12:14,896
Where we met.
1557
01:12:14,898 --> 01:12:17,132
My man!
1558
01:12:17,134 --> 01:12:22,003
By the powers
vested to me,
1559
01:12:22,005 --> 01:12:25,106
that somebody gave me
while I was locked up,
1560
01:12:25,108 --> 01:12:29,277
from
the correctional institution
in Lompoc, that's up north...
1561
01:12:29,279 --> 01:12:33,348
I want the demon that's
in you to come out
and holler at a brother.
1562
01:12:33,350 --> 01:12:36,184
Demon, come up
out of Kisha, demon.
1563
01:12:36,186 --> 01:12:37,919
Come out!
Just come out!
1564
01:12:37,921 --> 01:12:38,987
Come up out of Kisha!
1565
01:12:38,989 --> 01:12:39,921
Come up
out of there, demon.
1566
01:12:39,923 --> 01:12:42,557
Come out! Come out!
1567
01:12:42,559 --> 01:12:43,425
Come out!
1568
01:12:43,926 --> 01:12:45,193
Come out!
1569
01:12:45,195 --> 01:12:47,996
Hey! I'm not the one
with the demon, she is.
1570
01:12:49,031 --> 01:12:50,599
We all have demons, Malcolm.
1571
01:12:52,069 --> 01:12:54,202
I know what
you did last summer.
1572
01:12:54,204 --> 01:12:55,237
You better not do this.
1573
01:12:57,406 --> 01:12:58,440
Let her go, she's fat.
1574
01:13:00,376 --> 01:13:02,410
Kisha! Kisha!
1575
01:13:03,346 --> 01:13:05,647
Kisha! Oh, my God.
1576
01:13:09,318 --> 01:13:10,452
Kisha?
1577
01:13:12,556 --> 01:13:13,989
Kisha?
1578
01:13:16,893 --> 01:13:18,526
Oh, hey, buddy,
you made it.
1579
01:13:18,528 --> 01:13:22,564
Grab a finger sandwich,
they're delish!
1580
01:13:22,566 --> 01:13:24,432
About time you
came up in here.
1581
01:13:24,434 --> 01:13:27,035
'Cause there ain't no party
like a mandingo party.
1582
01:13:27,037 --> 01:13:29,571
'Cause a mandingo
party don't stop.
1583
01:13:29,573 --> 01:13:32,140
Drink up, sweetheart.
You need some water?
1584
01:13:32,142 --> 01:13:34,542
Where are you going?
Hey, don't let her down.
1585
01:13:34,544 --> 01:13:35,644
It's her birthday.
1586
01:13:35,646 --> 01:13:36,912
Oh, God.
1587
01:13:36,914 --> 01:13:38,346
Hey, did you find Kisha?
1588
01:13:38,348 --> 01:13:39,614
Uh, no,
she's not in there.
1589
01:13:39,616 --> 01:13:40,682
You sure?
What's going on in there?
1590
01:13:40,684 --> 01:13:41,950
Uh, nothing at all.
1591
01:13:41,952 --> 01:13:43,184
Is that a mandingo party?
No.
1592
01:13:43,186 --> 01:13:45,120
Man, I wanna get
my Kunta Kinte on.
1593
01:13:46,622 --> 01:13:47,923
Kisha?
1594
01:13:49,926 --> 01:13:51,026
Kisha?
1595
01:13:53,963 --> 01:13:54,629
Oh, shit!
1596
01:13:54,631 --> 01:13:55,997
Baby?
1597
01:13:57,467 --> 01:13:59,434
Oh, my God!
What did you do?
1598
01:13:59,436 --> 01:14:01,102
Shit, I did you a favor.
1599
01:14:02,372 --> 01:14:05,073
Oh, my God!
Oh, my God, Rosa!
1600
01:14:05,075 --> 01:14:07,309
I just wanted my
last check, Malcolm.
1601
01:14:07,311 --> 01:14:09,210
Oh, my God,
you shot my housekeeper.
1602
01:14:09,212 --> 01:14:10,946
You mean,
your ex-housekeeper.
1603
01:14:10,948 --> 01:14:13,214
Look, man, the bitch can't be
jumping out on me like that.
1604
01:14:13,216 --> 01:14:15,150
You ain't gonna
tell nobody, right?
I got warrants.
1605
01:14:15,152 --> 01:14:16,384
Hurry, she's in here.
1606
01:14:16,386 --> 01:14:18,119
Come on, guys.
1607
01:14:18,121 --> 01:14:19,354
Kisha!
1608
01:14:19,356 --> 01:14:21,456
We got her cornered.
Baby.
1609
01:14:21,458 --> 01:14:23,525
Father, do something.
Oh, my God!
1610
01:14:26,062 --> 01:14:27,963
Man, that demon
is a freak.
1611
01:14:27,965 --> 01:14:30,065
Yeah, the crazy ones
always got the best pussy.
1612
01:14:30,067 --> 01:14:32,233
The moon landing was fake.
1613
01:14:32,235 --> 01:14:33,468
What?
1614
01:14:33,470 --> 01:14:36,071
Biggie and Tupac
1615
01:14:36,073 --> 01:14:38,440
are alive.
1616
01:14:38,442 --> 01:14:41,643
Paul Ryan will be
the next president.
1617
01:14:41,645 --> 01:14:43,611
The demon lies.
1618
01:14:43,613 --> 01:14:45,146
Well, except for
the thing about Tupac.
1619
01:14:45,148 --> 01:14:46,281
He is alive.
He's got a new
album coming out.
1620
01:14:46,283 --> 01:14:47,682
What the fuck
is going on here?
1621
01:14:47,684 --> 01:14:49,751
There's an exorcism
happening, people!
1622
01:14:52,588 --> 01:14:54,723
The power of
Christ compels you.
1623
01:14:54,725 --> 01:14:57,125
The power of
Christ compels you.
1624
01:14:57,127 --> 01:15:02,330
No, it's a new cologne
from Khloe and Lamar.
It's unisex.
1625
01:15:02,332 --> 01:15:04,132
I can smell Lamar.
1626
01:15:04,134 --> 01:15:05,433
Get her!
1627
01:15:06,769 --> 01:15:08,570
Baby!
1628
01:15:10,073 --> 01:15:12,240
Oh! She knows some of
that Spider-Man shit!
1629
01:15:14,644 --> 01:15:16,177
Oh, my God!
1630
01:15:16,179 --> 01:15:17,579
It's got me!
1631
01:15:17,581 --> 01:15:19,414
Chip!
I'm afraid of the dark.
1632
01:15:19,416 --> 01:15:21,449
Why do have your
hand on my balls?
1633
01:15:21,451 --> 01:15:23,651
I'm protecting
them from spirits.
1634
01:15:23,653 --> 01:15:25,053
Get off of me!
1635
01:15:25,055 --> 01:15:26,654
There she is!
1636
01:15:26,656 --> 01:15:28,089
She's going to the basement.
1637
01:15:28,091 --> 01:15:31,726
Bobby? Oh, my God!
Bobby, my brother's gone!
1638
01:15:31,728 --> 01:15:33,294
Oh, my God! Let's go!
1639
01:15:33,296 --> 01:15:34,462
- Bobby?
- Bobby?
1640
01:15:34,464 --> 01:15:36,064
Bobby?
1641
01:15:36,066 --> 01:15:37,732
This is dark.
I don't wanna
go down here.
1642
01:15:37,734 --> 01:15:40,635
Kisha!
Look at all these
weird markings.
1643
01:15:40,637 --> 01:15:42,303
Kisha was here.
She has a sign.
1644
01:15:42,305 --> 01:15:43,671
Bobby!
1645
01:15:45,441 --> 01:15:47,609
Oh, my God! She got Bobby!
1646
01:15:49,078 --> 01:15:51,279
Actually, that's
just Bobby taking a pee.
1647
01:15:51,281 --> 01:15:53,281
What?
1648
01:15:53,283 --> 01:15:54,783
Oh, come on, that's gross.
1649
01:15:54,785 --> 01:15:56,284
Kisha!
Kisha.
1650
01:15:56,286 --> 01:15:58,420
Kisha.
Show yourself.
1651
01:15:58,422 --> 01:16:00,622
Baby? Come on,
you gotta stay close.
1652
01:16:00,624 --> 01:16:03,425
What is this,
a Shake Weight
and a Thighmaster?
1653
01:16:03,427 --> 01:16:04,526
Nice.
1654
01:16:04,528 --> 01:16:06,161
Back the train up.
You got a Flowbee?
1655
01:16:06,163 --> 01:16:08,296
Hey, it all looks good
at 2:00 in the morning, okay?
1656
01:16:08,298 --> 01:16:10,498
Hey, look, Malcolm,
one's white and one's black.
1657
01:16:10,500 --> 01:16:12,200
- Guess which one you are.
- Black one.
1658
01:16:12,202 --> 01:16:14,769
What the hell?
Can we just go
find my girl, please?
1659
01:16:14,771 --> 01:16:15,837
Thank you.
1660
01:16:17,606 --> 01:16:19,407
Kisha!
Bobby!
1661
01:16:19,409 --> 01:16:21,376
Would you shut the fuck up?
What are you doing?
1662
01:16:21,378 --> 01:16:22,811
Come on.
1663
01:16:24,180 --> 01:16:26,081
Go, go, go.
1664
01:16:28,418 --> 01:16:29,517
What was that?
1665
01:16:31,655 --> 01:16:33,588
Christ,
that bitch is scary.
1666
01:16:33,590 --> 01:16:34,722
I dropped the camera!
1667
01:16:35,825 --> 01:16:37,325
Fellas?
1668
01:16:40,096 --> 01:16:41,362
Kisha.
1669
01:16:51,674 --> 01:16:55,143
Malcolm? Malcolm?
1670
01:16:56,745 --> 01:17:01,182
It's me, Chip the Psychic.
Malcolm?
1671
01:17:03,752 --> 01:17:05,453
It's me, Chip.
1672
01:17:05,455 --> 01:17:06,588
Yoo-hoo.
1673
01:17:09,359 --> 01:17:12,560
- Okay, I found the camera.
- What are you guys doing?
1674
01:17:12,562 --> 01:17:13,728
This shit is real, son.
1675
01:17:13,730 --> 01:17:15,130
Yeah.
1676
01:17:15,132 --> 01:17:16,798
Chip, why are you naked?
1677
01:17:16,800 --> 01:17:18,500
What the hell?
Hey!
1678
01:17:18,502 --> 01:17:20,635
It got really hot in here.
1679
01:17:20,637 --> 01:17:22,904
Oh, no. Where's Bobby?
1680
01:17:25,308 --> 01:17:26,407
Found my Walkman.
1681
01:17:27,544 --> 01:17:31,179
Kisha? Baby, are you okay?
1682
01:17:31,181 --> 01:17:32,180
- Leave her alone.
- Don't touch her.
1683
01:17:32,182 --> 01:17:33,715
Why?
1684
01:17:33,717 --> 01:17:35,316
'Cause she's like
that witch in Left 4 Dead
1685
01:17:35,318 --> 01:17:36,684
sitting in the corner
crying like that.
1686
01:17:36,686 --> 01:17:38,620
You touch her,
she gonna attack your ass.
1687
01:17:38,622 --> 01:17:40,321
I can't just
leave her, man.
1688
01:17:40,323 --> 01:17:43,558
Kisha? Baby?
It'll be okay, all right?
1689
01:17:47,296 --> 01:17:49,430
Get off my man, bitch!
1690
01:17:51,668 --> 01:17:53,902
You wanna fight?
Take that, demon!
1691
01:17:54,870 --> 01:17:56,437
Elbow smash!
1692
01:17:56,439 --> 01:17:58,206
Ooh!
1693
01:17:58,208 --> 01:17:59,574
Harder!
Beast!
1694
01:18:00,943 --> 01:18:02,410
Take that, demon!
1695
01:18:02,412 --> 01:18:03,845
Fucking bitch, take that.
1696
01:18:05,515 --> 01:18:06,648
That demon can
take a punch.
1697
01:18:06,650 --> 01:18:07,749
That's enough.
1698
01:18:08,450 --> 01:18:10,285
- Baby?
- Malcolm.
1699
01:18:10,287 --> 01:18:12,253
I think she's okay.
Maybe not!
1700
01:18:14,857 --> 01:18:16,191
I won't tell on you,
you don't tell on me.
1701
01:18:16,193 --> 01:18:17,458
Understand me?
1702
01:18:17,460 --> 01:18:18,660
You weren't here,
I wasn't here.
1703
01:18:18,662 --> 01:18:19,694
I'll take the blame.
I'll take the blame.
1704
01:18:19,696 --> 01:18:21,829
Okay, good. Hey!
1705
01:18:21,831 --> 01:18:23,331
Man, put some clothes on!
1706
01:18:35,644 --> 01:18:37,378
Hey.
Hey.
1707
01:18:37,380 --> 01:18:39,814
You know what?
This Angry Birdsis kind of fun.
1708
01:18:39,816 --> 01:18:41,616
I told you.
I like it.
1709
01:18:41,618 --> 01:18:43,618
Look at you
looking all pretty.
1710
01:18:43,620 --> 01:18:46,988
Oh, this?
It's just a little something
I put on for my man.
1711
01:18:46,990 --> 01:18:48,523
Oh, lucky him.
1712
01:18:48,525 --> 01:18:50,225
Oh. Ow...
1713
01:18:50,227 --> 01:18:51,659
Malcolm.
What? What? What?
1714
01:18:51,661 --> 01:18:53,661
My ribs are
still a little sore.
1715
01:18:53,663 --> 01:18:56,698
I'm sorry.
We did beat the hell
out of you, girl.
1716
01:18:56,700 --> 01:18:58,733
We was just trying
to get the demon out.
I'm sorry.
1717
01:18:58,735 --> 01:19:02,270
No, I'm sorry for bringing
that thing into your house.
1718
01:19:02,272 --> 01:19:03,805
Our house.
1719
01:19:04,540 --> 01:19:05,707
Mmm!
1720
01:19:07,743 --> 01:19:10,712
Malcolm?
Is the camera on?
Mm-hmm?
1721
01:19:14,450 --> 01:19:15,717
Fine.
1722
01:19:15,985 --> 01:19:17,352
Good.
1723
01:19:19,688 --> 01:19:20,888
Come here.
1724
01:19:23,025 --> 01:19:25,727
Take like that,
take it like that.
1725
01:19:25,729 --> 01:19:27,862
Oh, my God,
I hit the bottom.
1726
01:19:27,864 --> 01:19:30,331
Oh, yeah, take that.
Who's your dirty daddy?
1727
01:19:35,338 --> 01:19:37,038
Oh, God.
1728
01:19:37,040 --> 01:19:39,374
- I got a cramp.
- Don't touch it.
1729
01:20:25,588 --> 01:20:28,656
Malcolm!
1730
01:20:28,658 --> 01:20:31,459
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I'm coming.
1731
01:20:31,461 --> 01:20:32,694
Shit.
1732
01:20:37,066 --> 01:20:39,667
Malcolm!
1733
01:20:39,669 --> 01:20:42,103
I heard you
the first time.
Damn.
1734
01:21:16,972 --> 01:21:18,539
She's gone.
1735
01:21:22,077 --> 01:21:24,846
Yeah, baby, I lived!
I lived.
1736
01:21:24,848 --> 01:21:27,148
In your face.
In your face!
1737
01:21:27,150 --> 01:21:29,016
You thought you'd
move into my house
and kill me?
1738
01:21:29,018 --> 01:21:30,151
What?
1739
01:21:33,021 --> 01:21:34,889
She's right behind me,
isn't she?
1740
01:23:21,797 --> 01:23:23,498
Oh, yeah.
1741
01:23:23,500 --> 01:23:26,000
We gonna need a wide angle
for some of
these aerial tricks.
1742
01:23:26,002 --> 01:23:28,569
All right, I call
this one "The Superman."
1743
01:23:29,839 --> 01:23:32,940
Pile driver!
Take that.
Take that.
1744
01:23:33,175 --> 01:23:34,709
Oh! Oh!
1745
01:23:37,046 --> 01:23:39,747
Can I get you
something to drink, Father?
1746
01:23:39,749 --> 01:23:42,016
Yeah, Hennessy, straight.
1747
01:23:42,018 --> 01:23:44,519
Oh, you got Hpnotiq?
I like to mix them.
1748
01:23:44,521 --> 01:23:46,621
Uh, I was
talking about water.
1749
01:23:46,623 --> 01:23:49,790
Water?
I don't drink that bullshit.
What the fuck?
1750
01:23:49,792 --> 01:23:52,260
Yeah, my show is
gonna be huge.
1751
01:23:52,262 --> 01:23:55,096
I'm gonna get my house back.
I'm gonna get a girlfriend.
1752
01:23:55,098 --> 01:23:56,664
I'm gonna be successful.
1753
01:23:56,666 --> 01:24:00,701
Did you just hope
and dream out loud?
1754
01:24:02,304 --> 01:24:05,206
All hopes and dreams
are out loud.
That's the camera show.
1755
01:24:05,208 --> 01:24:08,309
Oh, this is called "68,"
and I owe you one.
1756
01:24:08,311 --> 01:24:12,280
You're crazy, girl.
Yeah, I'll fart in your face.
1757
01:24:12,282 --> 01:24:15,550
Take that.
Now we gonna make some love.
1758
01:24:15,552 --> 01:24:16,918
But I ain't gonna
kiss you on your mouth
1759
01:24:16,920 --> 01:24:18,686
'cause I just
farted in your face.
1760
01:24:18,688 --> 01:24:22,089
Here's the thing.
A lot of people
think penises are scary.
1761
01:24:22,091 --> 01:24:25,560
They're not,
unless it has a gun.
Then that's horrifying.
1762
01:24:25,562 --> 01:24:28,729
90% of penises
don't carry a gun.
1763
01:24:28,731 --> 01:24:30,598
Oh, my God. What?
1764
01:24:30,600 --> 01:24:32,066
That's a fact.
1765
01:24:32,068 --> 01:24:34,001
But I'm gonna
tell you this,
don't ever,
1766
01:24:34,003 --> 01:24:35,970
ever let a man put
his hands on you.
1767
01:24:35,972 --> 01:24:38,072
Unless he
paying the bills. Aah!
1768
01:24:38,074 --> 01:24:39,974
Domestic violence
is amazing.
1769
01:24:42,844 --> 01:24:45,146
Gonna burn me.
1770
01:24:49,585 --> 01:24:52,853
I'm sorry. Shh. Shh.
Take it.
1771
01:24:53,155 --> 01:24:54,689
Ooh.
1772
01:24:55,924 --> 01:24:57,258
Ooh!
1773
01:24:57,260 --> 01:25:01,128
This is one bad
picture right here, nigger.
1774
01:25:01,130 --> 01:25:04,365
This a fine motherfucker
right here, boy.
This is dope.
1775
01:25:04,367 --> 01:25:05,866
You know what
I'd do with this?
1776
01:25:05,868 --> 01:25:07,768
Do you know what
I'd do with this?
1777
01:25:07,770 --> 01:25:10,838
All this area,
all this carpet,
this ottoman,
1778
01:25:10,840 --> 01:25:11,906
I'd be all over it.
1779
01:25:11,908 --> 01:25:13,708
What are these?
1780
01:25:13,710 --> 01:25:15,610
Those are my boxers.
1781
01:25:15,612 --> 01:25:17,078
Fascinating.
1782
01:25:17,080 --> 01:25:19,080
Oh, yes.
1783
01:25:19,082 --> 01:25:21,949
His methods are
so unorthodox.
1784
01:25:21,951 --> 01:25:24,118
That's my girlfriend.
1785
01:25:24,120 --> 01:25:26,153
Ah...
Kisha.
1786
01:25:26,155 --> 01:25:29,090
That's a crazy
bitch name all day.
You can google it.
1787
01:25:29,092 --> 01:25:33,628
Top five crazy bitch names.
Kisha, Alisha, Djuana.
1788
01:25:33,630 --> 01:25:36,330
You say that out loud,
and you're
already scared, right?
1789
01:25:36,332 --> 01:25:38,065
Are you done?
1790
01:25:38,067 --> 01:25:39,634
Let's go.
Let's go save the bitch.
119659
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