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1
00:00:02,480 --> 00:00:04,480
♪
2
00:00:05,810 --> 00:00:08,260
Art lovers of springfield,
good news.
3
00:00:08,270 --> 00:00:10,940
The art museum
is closed forever!
4
00:00:10,940 --> 00:00:12,490
[scattered applause]
5
00:00:12,490 --> 00:00:15,610
Instead, our entire collection
will be digitized
6
00:00:15,620 --> 00:00:18,200
And sold for a fortune
on the blockchain
7
00:00:18,200 --> 00:00:22,160
As non-fungible tokens, or nfts.
8
00:00:22,160 --> 00:00:24,870
Whatever the hell those are.
9
00:00:24,880 --> 00:00:26,000
[chuckles]
10
00:00:26,000 --> 00:00:28,540
Now let's turn
some of our crappy art
11
00:00:28,550 --> 00:00:30,000
Into computer money.
12
00:00:30,010 --> 00:00:33,670
Starting with
a true masterpiece, my butt.
13
00:00:33,680 --> 00:00:36,130
[laughs]
14
00:00:38,350 --> 00:00:39,760
[whirring]
15
00:00:39,770 --> 00:00:40,850
Uh, dad?
16
00:00:40,850 --> 00:00:42,810
Ah! Technology!
17
00:00:42,810 --> 00:00:44,180
[phone chimes]
18
00:00:45,600 --> 00:00:47,730
I've lost bart forever!
19
00:00:47,730 --> 00:00:49,730
No!
20
00:00:51,490 --> 00:00:52,650
[cash register rings]
21
00:00:52,650 --> 00:00:54,690
Yes!
22
00:00:57,570 --> 00:00:59,070
[whirring]
23
00:00:59,080 --> 00:01:02,200
Honey? Remember how
we're always saying
24
00:01:02,200 --> 00:01:04,120
We wish bart was less fungible?
25
00:01:04,120 --> 00:01:05,960
Did something happen to bart?
26
00:01:05,960 --> 00:01:07,250
Only the parts you can hug.
27
00:01:07,250 --> 00:01:10,170
The rest is alive,
right here on my phone.
28
00:01:10,920 --> 00:01:13,760
[yelps] my baby is an app!
29
00:01:13,760 --> 00:01:15,670
Uh, no, apps actually do stuff.
30
00:01:15,680 --> 00:01:17,010
He's an nft.
31
00:01:17,010 --> 00:01:19,090
-But look how much he's worth.
-[gasps]
32
00:01:19,100 --> 00:01:21,010
For bart? Hmm.
33
00:01:21,010 --> 00:01:23,930
Imagine what we'd get for lisa.
34
00:01:23,930 --> 00:01:27,230
He is the first nft
of an actual person.
35
00:01:27,230 --> 00:01:28,310
I don't care.
36
00:01:28,310 --> 00:01:30,520
We've got to find a way
to get him back.
37
00:01:30,520 --> 00:01:34,820
[hooded figure]
to do that, you, yourself
must enter the blockchain.
38
00:01:34,820 --> 00:01:36,030
Who are you?
39
00:01:36,030 --> 00:01:38,240
We are the enlightened
intellects
40
00:01:38,240 --> 00:01:40,410
Who safeguard the crypto-verse.
41
00:01:41,450 --> 00:01:43,700
[homer]
kylie jenner, rob gronkowski,
42
00:01:43,700 --> 00:01:44,990
And jimmy fallon.
43
00:01:45,000 --> 00:01:47,210
I thought you were
just celebrity shills.
44
00:01:47,210 --> 00:01:50,210
Ugh, we would never
promote a technology
45
00:01:50,210 --> 00:01:52,380
If we didn't understand
the distributed ledger
46
00:01:52,380 --> 00:01:53,460
Underpinning it.
47
00:01:53,460 --> 00:01:54,550
Der!
48
00:01:54,550 --> 00:01:57,550
[laughs] I can't
stop laughing, buddy.
49
00:01:57,550 --> 00:01:58,680
[homer]
shut up.
50
00:01:58,680 --> 00:02:00,340
You ruined "cowbell."
51
00:02:03,720 --> 00:02:05,560
This key is a back door
52
00:02:05,560 --> 00:02:08,480
Through the blockchain's
cryptographic protocol.
53
00:02:10,400 --> 00:02:12,900
Once you're inside, find bart
54
00:02:12,900 --> 00:02:14,940
And use it to get
both of you out.
55
00:02:14,940 --> 00:02:16,400
[grunts]
56
00:02:16,400 --> 00:02:18,610
[whirring]
57
00:02:22,030 --> 00:02:24,410
Huh, so this is the blockchain.
58
00:02:24,410 --> 00:02:27,530
No, noob, this is
the block-train.
59
00:02:28,750 --> 00:02:31,170
Speeding forever through
the loveless icy world
60
00:02:31,170 --> 00:02:32,920
Created by crypto-bros.
61
00:02:32,920 --> 00:02:36,250
Powered by the most abundant
fuel in the universe:
62
00:02:36,260 --> 00:02:39,590
Fomo, the fear of missing out.
63
00:02:39,590 --> 00:02:43,600
For a digital incarnation of an
abstract mathematical concept,
64
00:02:43,600 --> 00:02:45,510
It could use a good dusting.
65
00:02:45,520 --> 00:02:48,680
[british accent]
well, that's because this is the
last car of the train, innit?
66
00:02:48,690 --> 00:02:52,350
The dwelling place of nfts
with no value.
67
00:02:52,360 --> 00:02:56,610
Which is 99% of all nfts
ever created.
68
00:02:56,610 --> 00:02:59,860
Huh, I guess being
the second-ever human nft
69
00:02:59,860 --> 00:03:01,280
Isn't worth a whole lot.
70
00:03:01,280 --> 00:03:03,160
Where do they keep my son?
71
00:03:03,160 --> 00:03:05,580
[french accent]
at the very front of the train
72
00:03:05,580 --> 00:03:07,080
Where you can never go.
73
00:03:07,080 --> 00:03:08,370
Watch me!
74
00:03:09,000 --> 00:03:10,410
[grunts]
75
00:03:10,420 --> 00:03:13,210
[laughter]
76
00:03:13,210 --> 00:03:14,500
Whoa!
77
00:03:17,590 --> 00:03:21,340
[retching]
you killed ennui oeuf 116.
78
00:03:23,640 --> 00:03:24,680
[whirring]
79
00:03:26,180 --> 00:03:29,100
Congratulations,
you've moved up the train
80
00:03:29,100 --> 00:03:31,480
Because you are now
as valuable as us,
81
00:03:31,480 --> 00:03:32,730
The cuddle kittens.
82
00:03:32,730 --> 00:03:34,810
Because you killed another nft.
83
00:03:34,810 --> 00:03:36,770
What you call
mindless slaughter,
84
00:03:36,780 --> 00:03:38,780
Crypto-bros call "disruption,"
85
00:03:38,780 --> 00:03:40,440
And then pour cash into it.
86
00:03:40,450 --> 00:03:42,150
So, to rescue bart,
87
00:03:42,160 --> 00:03:44,320
I need to kill
a bunch of you guys.
88
00:03:46,910 --> 00:03:48,410
[popping]
89
00:03:50,460 --> 00:03:51,750
Ooh.
90
00:03:51,750 --> 00:03:53,790
Well, I guess I got to do this.
91
00:03:53,790 --> 00:03:55,380
[yowling]
92
00:03:56,040 --> 00:03:59,210
Sorry! Nothing personal!
93
00:04:01,630 --> 00:04:06,090
Hope... You... Can't...
Feel... Pain. [grunts]
94
00:04:07,510 --> 00:04:08,760
[whirring]
95
00:04:29,450 --> 00:04:30,490
[whirring]
96
00:04:32,330 --> 00:04:34,080
[lisa]
mom's price is skyrocketing!
97
00:04:34,080 --> 00:04:35,790
Look at the fomo!
98
00:04:35,790 --> 00:04:39,210
Now everyone's gonna
want human nfts.
99
00:04:39,210 --> 00:04:42,210
Dad, you said you were
taking me to bumper boats.
100
00:04:42,220 --> 00:04:45,260
I am. Uh, have
some more chocolate milk.
101
00:04:47,220 --> 00:04:50,640
No one is putting another child
into that scanner...
102
00:04:50,640 --> 00:04:52,560
Before mine.
103
00:04:53,560 --> 00:04:55,480
-[grunting]
-hey!
104
00:04:55,480 --> 00:04:56,690
[whirring]
105
00:04:58,320 --> 00:04:59,150
[gasps]
106
00:04:59,150 --> 00:05:01,690
Please kill ralph-house.
107
00:05:02,690 --> 00:05:04,030
[squishing]
108
00:05:04,780 --> 00:05:07,030
[whirring]
109
00:05:08,870 --> 00:05:12,410
The front of the train.
I made it.
110
00:05:13,250 --> 00:05:15,960
Bart! We're getting out of here!
111
00:05:15,960 --> 00:05:18,080
Whoa, mom, what's the rush?
112
00:05:18,080 --> 00:05:20,750
Grab yourself a jaded ape
and take a load off.
113
00:05:20,750 --> 00:05:23,550
You never like my friends.
114
00:05:23,550 --> 00:05:25,630
Mom's almost got bart out.
115
00:05:25,630 --> 00:05:28,550
Don't let your son become
a worthless human again.
116
00:05:28,550 --> 00:05:30,090
Sell him to me
117
00:05:30,100 --> 00:05:32,560
-For $100 million.
-Hmm!
118
00:05:32,560 --> 00:05:35,350
No, dad!
If you sell bart to mr. Burns,
119
00:05:35,350 --> 00:05:38,230
He'll be trapped
on the blockchain forever.
120
00:05:38,230 --> 00:05:40,400
But this is my chance
not to miss out,
121
00:05:40,400 --> 00:05:42,320
After I've missed out
on everything.
122
00:05:42,320 --> 00:05:44,610
The housing bubble,
the first tech bubble,
123
00:05:44,610 --> 00:05:47,280
The second tech bubble,
the current tech bubble.
124
00:05:47,280 --> 00:05:49,530
Just one time,
I want to be the guy
125
00:05:49,530 --> 00:05:52,080
That gives all his money
to bernie madoff!
126
00:05:52,080 --> 00:05:55,200
Mom, get out of there!
Dad's gonna crack!
127
00:06:08,050 --> 00:06:09,340
He did it.
128
00:06:09,340 --> 00:06:11,010
I can't believe he did it.
129
00:06:11,010 --> 00:06:13,430
[whirring]
130
00:06:13,430 --> 00:06:15,600
-We made it.
-Where's homer?
131
00:06:15,600 --> 00:06:17,850
I want to tell him the inside
of his phone smells.
132
00:06:17,850 --> 00:06:19,980
He-he sold himself.
133
00:06:19,980 --> 00:06:21,980
He was so afraid of missing out,
134
00:06:21,980 --> 00:06:24,440
He tokened his own life.
135
00:06:24,440 --> 00:06:26,780
Woo-hoo!
136
00:06:26,780 --> 00:06:29,740
Eternity on
a super swanky train.
137
00:06:29,740 --> 00:06:32,490
Ooh, twerked chicken.
138
00:06:34,740 --> 00:06:37,080
[rumbling]
139
00:06:37,080 --> 00:06:38,910
What happened?
140
00:06:38,920 --> 00:06:41,750
Our fomo, it's gone.
141
00:06:43,960 --> 00:06:46,590
The nft craze is over.
142
00:06:46,590 --> 00:06:49,050
D'oh!
143
00:06:53,300 --> 00:06:56,180
[homer]
ah, the romance of train travel.
144
00:07:00,600 --> 00:07:03,190
♪
145
00:07:03,190 --> 00:07:07,650
♪ and it's clearly
to his credit ♪
146
00:07:07,650 --> 00:07:12,610
♪ that he is an englishman ♪
147
00:07:12,620 --> 00:07:14,910
♪ he remains ♪
148
00:07:14,910 --> 00:07:19,040
♪ an eng ♪
149
00:07:19,040 --> 00:07:21,460
♪ lish... ♪
150
00:07:21,460 --> 00:07:23,960
Wait. Did you only
ask me to sing
151
00:07:23,960 --> 00:07:26,790
To forestall your gruesome end?
152
00:07:26,790 --> 00:07:30,090
Guilty as charged. [laughs]
153
00:07:30,930 --> 00:07:33,430
-[bart grunting]
-[laughing]
154
00:07:33,430 --> 00:07:35,470
[screams]
155
00:07:36,810 --> 00:07:38,350
Ha!
156
00:07:41,980 --> 00:07:44,150
It was only by
following my hunch
157
00:07:44,150 --> 00:07:46,310
That we found
the east side strangler
158
00:07:46,320 --> 00:07:48,520
On the west side of town.
159
00:07:48,530 --> 00:07:51,320
Can you explain how
you overcame childhood trauma
160
00:07:51,320 --> 00:07:54,280
To become the nation's most
renowned criminal psychologist?
161
00:07:54,280 --> 00:07:57,160
For that story,
you'll have to read my book.
162
00:07:57,160 --> 00:07:59,620
-[school bell rings]
-[indistinct chatter]
163
00:08:01,540 --> 00:08:03,040
Office muntz.
164
00:08:03,040 --> 00:08:04,920
Told you I'd smell you later.
165
00:08:04,920 --> 00:08:06,540
Been a long time.
166
00:08:07,500 --> 00:08:08,750
Ah, look at us.
167
00:08:08,760 --> 00:08:11,420
We thought we were
gonna stay young forever.
168
00:08:11,420 --> 00:08:13,090
Some of us did.
169
00:08:13,090 --> 00:08:16,220
Oh, right, like bart,
because he got murdered.
170
00:08:16,220 --> 00:08:17,890
Speaking of gruesome junk,
171
00:08:17,890 --> 00:08:19,850
We could use your help
on a case.
172
00:08:19,850 --> 00:08:23,640
I'm flattered, but I'm the dean
of the true crime department.
173
00:08:23,650 --> 00:08:25,940
I can't just run off and--
174
00:08:25,940 --> 00:08:27,940
The killer left a message.
175
00:08:27,940 --> 00:08:30,610
And we think it's for you.
176
00:08:30,610 --> 00:08:32,650
♪
177
00:08:43,370 --> 00:08:45,830
Maybe rod flanders
did grow up to become
178
00:08:45,830 --> 00:08:48,580
A shockingly foul-mouthed
prop comedian,
179
00:08:48,590 --> 00:08:50,550
But he didn't deserve this.
180
00:08:50,550 --> 00:08:53,090
Only a super-traumatized
profiler like you
181
00:08:53,090 --> 00:08:55,300
Can piece together
what happened here.
182
00:08:55,300 --> 00:08:56,260
Hmm.
183
00:08:56,260 --> 00:08:57,970
[breathes deeply, sighs]
184
00:08:57,970 --> 00:08:59,640
[lisa]
our killer took his time.
185
00:08:59,640 --> 00:09:01,140
Had fun with it.
186
00:09:01,140 --> 00:09:02,970
Enjoyed a game of solitaire.
187
00:09:02,980 --> 00:09:05,310
Red king on a red queen?
188
00:09:05,310 --> 00:09:07,940
This psycho doesn't
play by the rules.
189
00:09:07,940 --> 00:09:09,480
Damn, she's good.
190
00:09:09,480 --> 00:09:11,400
Here, he had one
of those moments
191
00:09:11,400 --> 00:09:14,990
Where you walk into a room
and forget what you came in for.
192
00:09:14,990 --> 00:09:17,400
How did my guys miss that?
193
00:09:17,400 --> 00:09:18,320
One more thing.
194
00:09:18,320 --> 00:09:20,270
This killer won't stop now.
195
00:09:20,280 --> 00:09:21,990
There will be others.
196
00:09:22,000 --> 00:09:23,700
Sarge, there's been another.
197
00:09:27,830 --> 00:09:30,130
How can he also be the first?
198
00:09:30,130 --> 00:09:31,750
Sarge, we got another one.
199
00:09:32,880 --> 00:09:34,260
[whistles]
200
00:09:34,260 --> 00:09:35,800
Boy, that's something
you don't see every--
201
00:09:35,800 --> 00:09:37,380
One more, sarge.
202
00:09:38,300 --> 00:09:40,140
Got another one, sarge.
203
00:09:40,140 --> 00:09:41,850
The severed hand
opens the fridge,
204
00:09:41,850 --> 00:09:43,720
Which tugs on that
strip of sinew,
205
00:09:43,730 --> 00:09:44,970
Turning over the eyeball cup,
206
00:09:44,980 --> 00:09:47,310
Which rolls down the spine,
startles a cat,
207
00:09:47,310 --> 00:09:49,480
Which leaps onto
the butter dish seesaw,
208
00:09:49,480 --> 00:09:51,690
And sends
the other eyeball flying,
209
00:09:51,690 --> 00:09:53,520
Turning on the coffee maker.
210
00:09:53,530 --> 00:09:56,860
Even I can't get inside
a mind this deranged.
211
00:09:56,860 --> 00:09:59,990
There's only one person who can.
212
00:10:01,620 --> 00:10:02,830
[thunder rumbles]
213
00:10:02,830 --> 00:10:04,370
Little lisa simpson.
214
00:10:04,370 --> 00:10:06,040
You really made something
of yourself
215
00:10:06,040 --> 00:10:08,160
After I made mincemeat
of your brother.
216
00:10:08,170 --> 00:10:09,580
Come to thank me?
217
00:10:09,580 --> 00:10:11,540
-No.
-Rude.
218
00:10:11,540 --> 00:10:13,540
I don't have time
for your games, bob.
219
00:10:13,550 --> 00:10:14,590
I'm working on a--
220
00:10:14,590 --> 00:10:15,670
Yes, a case so confounding
221
00:10:15,670 --> 00:10:17,550
You're actually willing
to seek my help.
222
00:10:17,550 --> 00:10:20,840
The rube goldberg sherri
is actually quite impressive.
223
00:10:20,850 --> 00:10:22,140
Hat tip, psychopath.
224
00:10:22,140 --> 00:10:24,220
What about
the identical messages?
225
00:10:24,220 --> 00:10:27,010
How can they all be "the first"?
226
00:10:27,010 --> 00:10:28,480
Really, professor simpson,
227
00:10:28,480 --> 00:10:31,150
Am I meant to spoon-feed you
all the answers?
228
00:10:31,150 --> 00:10:33,980
Speak in riddles or drop a clue
in a clever anagram
229
00:10:33,980 --> 00:10:36,820
Hidden in something
I've just said right now.
230
00:10:36,820 --> 00:10:38,280
This is a waste of time.
231
00:10:38,280 --> 00:10:40,070
Perhaps a limerick will help.
232
00:10:40,070 --> 00:10:41,990
There once was a shiny machete,
233
00:10:41,990 --> 00:10:44,240
That turned poor bart's head
to spaghetti.
234
00:10:44,240 --> 00:10:46,740
You're gonna die
in that cell, bob.
235
00:10:46,750 --> 00:10:48,580
And when that happens,
236
00:10:48,580 --> 00:10:50,040
Wherever I am,
237
00:10:50,040 --> 00:10:52,040
I'll be dancing.
238
00:10:58,630 --> 00:11:02,180
Can you think of anyone who
would've wanted to hurt sherri?
239
00:11:02,180 --> 00:11:05,050
No, everybody loved
my big sister.
240
00:11:05,060 --> 00:11:06,510
Big sister?
241
00:11:06,520 --> 00:11:07,850
You guys were twins.
242
00:11:07,850 --> 00:11:10,430
Yes, but sherri was born first.
243
00:11:10,440 --> 00:11:14,770
Probably makes sense for you
to be my husband now, huh?
244
00:11:14,770 --> 00:11:16,230
Sherri is the first.
245
00:11:16,230 --> 00:11:19,570
Rod flanders, dermott spuckler,
all firstborns,
246
00:11:19,570 --> 00:11:21,070
That's the pattern.
247
00:11:21,070 --> 00:11:22,860
And bob said something
about an anagram
248
00:11:22,870 --> 00:11:24,700
Taking us to the killer's lair.
249
00:11:25,700 --> 00:11:27,580
[gasps] that's it.
250
00:11:30,370 --> 00:11:31,540
[tires screech]
251
00:11:36,340 --> 00:11:37,500
[both gasp]
252
00:11:38,670 --> 00:11:39,670
[clanging]
253
00:11:39,670 --> 00:11:40,720
Stay here.
254
00:11:41,720 --> 00:11:44,180
[creaking]
255
00:11:45,010 --> 00:11:47,390
Hey, meat hooks, hook meat much?
256
00:11:47,390 --> 00:11:49,100
Ha-ha--
257
00:11:52,480 --> 00:11:53,850
Nelson?
258
00:11:53,860 --> 00:11:56,150
Nelson, where are you?
259
00:11:58,070 --> 00:12:00,280
[screams]
260
00:12:01,320 --> 00:12:02,570
[panting]
261
00:12:04,410 --> 00:12:05,700
[gasps]
262
00:12:05,700 --> 00:12:09,080
The killer's lair looks
just like my old bedroom.
263
00:12:09,080 --> 00:12:11,160
But how? Ooh.
264
00:12:11,160 --> 00:12:13,500
Maybe the killer's
on the security footage.
265
00:12:15,960 --> 00:12:18,840
No! It can't be!
266
00:12:18,840 --> 00:12:21,130
[grunts] freeze!
267
00:12:21,130 --> 00:12:22,260
-[handcuffs click]
-wha...?
268
00:12:22,260 --> 00:12:23,840
I can't be the killer!
269
00:12:23,840 --> 00:12:26,390
I turned my trauma into healing!
270
00:12:26,390 --> 00:12:28,010
Oprah said so!
271
00:12:28,010 --> 00:12:29,680
[thunder rumbling]
272
00:12:29,680 --> 00:12:32,060
I'm sorry for the imbroglio,
but if the chef de cuisine
273
00:12:32,060 --> 00:12:34,730
Insists on calling it
taco tuesdays,
274
00:12:34,730 --> 00:12:36,730
He can't very well serve flautas
275
00:12:36,730 --> 00:12:38,730
And expect us not
to make a fuss.
276
00:12:38,730 --> 00:12:40,230
[door locks]
277
00:12:41,530 --> 00:12:43,110
Hello, bob.
278
00:12:43,110 --> 00:12:45,490
H-how did you get in here?
279
00:12:45,490 --> 00:12:47,820
Well, I knew if I killed
enough people
280
00:12:47,830 --> 00:12:50,080
In the most gruesome
possible ways,
281
00:12:50,080 --> 00:12:52,240
They'd send me to your prison.
282
00:12:52,250 --> 00:12:54,210
But to get into your cell?
283
00:12:54,210 --> 00:12:56,250
I had a little help.
284
00:12:59,880 --> 00:13:01,420
Lisa the killer.
285
00:13:01,420 --> 00:13:03,300
I never thought
you had it in you.
286
00:13:03,300 --> 00:13:06,260
The lisa you knew didn't.
287
00:13:06,260 --> 00:13:08,550
But I'm another story.
288
00:13:08,550 --> 00:13:10,050
Oh, really?
289
00:13:10,060 --> 00:13:11,930
Split personalities?
290
00:13:11,930 --> 00:13:13,270
Trope alert!
291
00:13:13,270 --> 00:13:15,730
Call the first thought police.
292
00:13:15,730 --> 00:13:17,810
Professor lisa had no idea
293
00:13:17,810 --> 00:13:19,650
She was my accomplice.
294
00:13:23,030 --> 00:13:24,820
But she's gone now.
295
00:13:24,820 --> 00:13:26,610
She was my last victim.
296
00:13:26,610 --> 00:13:29,620
Or, rather, second to last.
297
00:13:29,620 --> 00:13:31,740
The penultimate.
298
00:13:31,740 --> 00:13:33,450
[grumbles]
299
00:13:36,500 --> 00:13:39,000
♪ he remains an ♪
300
00:13:39,000 --> 00:13:42,130
♪ en-en-en-en-en-en-en-en ♪
301
00:13:42,130 --> 00:13:44,090
♪ en... ♪
302
00:13:44,090 --> 00:13:47,680
-[screaming]
-♪ ...Glishman. ♪
303
00:13:52,720 --> 00:13:54,470
[munching]
304
00:13:54,480 --> 00:13:55,810
Simpson.
305
00:13:55,810 --> 00:13:57,730
No eating in the turbine room.
306
00:13:57,730 --> 00:13:59,100
Since when?
307
00:14:01,270 --> 00:14:04,020
Pfft. The nanny state
wins again.
308
00:14:04,030 --> 00:14:06,110
No tanning in the reactor core,
309
00:14:06,110 --> 00:14:08,360
No texting while driving
and eating ribs.
310
00:14:08,360 --> 00:14:10,910
Can't even trim your hedges
with a machine gun.
311
00:14:10,910 --> 00:14:12,580
When did everyone get so scared?
312
00:14:12,580 --> 00:14:16,450
The world would be fine if
people just used common sense.
313
00:14:16,460 --> 00:14:17,620
Like me.
314
00:14:17,620 --> 00:14:19,080
Ah! Jailbreak!
315
00:14:32,010 --> 00:14:34,720
Woman. Woman.
316
00:14:38,730 --> 00:14:41,980
Homer, one. Nanny state, zero.
317
00:14:41,980 --> 00:14:43,480
[munching]
318
00:14:44,480 --> 00:14:47,070
[groaning]
319
00:14:47,070 --> 00:14:48,780
[gurgling]
320
00:14:48,780 --> 00:14:51,280
Stupid radioactive garbage donut
321
00:14:51,280 --> 00:14:54,240
Mutating my dna while I sleep.
322
00:14:56,410 --> 00:15:00,290
Hey, who stole
my flanders's newspaper?
323
00:15:00,290 --> 00:15:01,540
Sorry about that, homer-ino,
324
00:15:01,540 --> 00:15:04,630
But I-I whited out the crossword
after I did it,
325
00:15:04,630 --> 00:15:06,050
So you could enjoy it, too.
326
00:15:06,050 --> 00:15:07,920
[gurgling]
327
00:15:07,920 --> 00:15:10,170
-[belches]
-ah.
328
00:15:10,180 --> 00:15:12,890
Better from the chimney
than the furnace, am I right?
329
00:15:12,890 --> 00:15:14,470
[laughs]
330
00:15:14,470 --> 00:15:15,800
[groans]
331
00:15:15,810 --> 00:15:19,140
So, you see, there's nothing
in the bible that says
332
00:15:19,140 --> 00:15:23,480
A pastor and his wife
can't take separate vacations.
333
00:15:23,480 --> 00:15:25,060
[grunts softly]
334
00:15:27,440 --> 00:15:31,030
Daddy, are you being tickled
by the holy spirit?
335
00:15:31,030 --> 00:15:32,990
[gurgling]
336
00:15:32,990 --> 00:15:35,410
[moaning]
337
00:15:39,660 --> 00:15:43,540
[gasps] I've been neighborino'd
into home-diddly-omer.
338
00:15:43,540 --> 00:15:47,540
[gasps] and why am I in church
when football is on?
339
00:15:47,550 --> 00:15:48,710
[all gasping]
340
00:15:48,710 --> 00:15:49,960
[belches]
341
00:15:49,970 --> 00:15:52,420
[terrified chatter]
342
00:15:53,890 --> 00:15:55,840
[all screaming, belching]
343
00:15:55,850 --> 00:15:57,680
[all groaning, grumbling]
344
00:15:58,810 --> 00:16:00,560
Kiss my ass, church-os.
345
00:16:00,560 --> 00:16:05,190
I'm fat, I'm bald, and
I've never felt sexier, baby.
346
00:16:05,190 --> 00:16:08,270
-Why, you little...
-[choking]
347
00:16:08,280 --> 00:16:09,820
Woo-hoo!
348
00:16:09,820 --> 00:16:11,990
[all belching]
349
00:16:13,780 --> 00:16:14,950
[belches]
350
00:16:16,280 --> 00:16:19,990
[kent brockman over tv]
a mysterious affliction
has descended upon springfield.
351
00:16:20,000 --> 00:16:23,080
Citizens of every age,
race and catchphrase
352
00:16:23,080 --> 00:16:27,380
Are mysteriously transforming
into bald, pear-shaped doofi.
353
00:16:29,010 --> 00:16:32,920
[sing-songy]
donut stu has diabetes type 2.
354
00:16:32,930 --> 00:16:34,680
[belches]
355
00:16:36,760 --> 00:16:38,350
News is stupid.
356
00:16:38,350 --> 00:16:39,970
Somebody put on wrestling.
357
00:16:39,970 --> 00:16:41,850
Do all these burping baldos
358
00:16:41,850 --> 00:16:44,020
Remind you of anyone?
359
00:16:44,020 --> 00:16:46,310
I'd know that
butt scratch anywhere.
360
00:16:46,310 --> 00:16:48,360
Everyone's turning into dad.
361
00:16:51,610 --> 00:16:53,400
[screams]
362
00:16:54,780 --> 00:16:56,780
[belching]
363
00:17:03,000 --> 00:17:07,790
Uh, children, your father's
less than stellar genetic code
364
00:17:07,790 --> 00:17:10,920
Is spreading through
burp-borne transmission.
365
00:17:10,920 --> 00:17:12,710
If we're going
to cure this virus,
366
00:17:12,720 --> 00:17:14,090
We need his dna.
367
00:17:14,090 --> 00:17:16,970
You three are the only ones
impervious to the virus.
368
00:17:16,970 --> 00:17:19,300
You have got to find him.
369
00:17:19,310 --> 00:17:21,510
Hmm. It is 11:30 in the morning.
370
00:17:22,770 --> 00:17:24,980
[indistinct chatter]
371
00:17:24,980 --> 00:17:26,890
-Beer, moe.
-Beer, moe.
372
00:17:26,900 --> 00:17:28,190
A-beer, a-moe.
373
00:17:28,190 --> 00:17:29,610
Have you seen our dad?
374
00:17:29,610 --> 00:17:32,610
No, just these hundreds
of silly versions of him,
375
00:17:32,610 --> 00:17:34,990
Which is the greatest thing
that has ever happened to me.
376
00:17:34,990 --> 00:17:36,700
I mean,
I'm printing money over here.
377
00:17:36,700 --> 00:17:37,860
[barking]
378
00:17:37,870 --> 00:17:40,570
Coming right up,
santa's little homer.
379
00:17:40,580 --> 00:17:43,830
Real dad wasn't at the
bowling alley, the candy store,
380
00:17:43,830 --> 00:17:46,710
Or mocking the hippos
at the zoo.
381
00:17:46,710 --> 00:17:48,000
Wait.
382
00:17:48,000 --> 00:17:49,710
Dad ate a bucket
of this chicken last night.
383
00:17:49,710 --> 00:17:52,710
When that happens, where does he
always spend the next day?
384
00:17:53,920 --> 00:17:56,090
[homer]
I'll be out in a minute.
385
00:17:56,090 --> 00:17:57,840
Um, is this really the most
386
00:17:57,840 --> 00:17:59,590
Convenient bathroom
for your father?
387
00:17:59,600 --> 00:18:01,850
It's the closest one
mom will let him use.
388
00:18:01,850 --> 00:18:05,020
Dad, we need you
to save the world.
389
00:18:05,020 --> 00:18:05,850
Yeah, yeah, yeah,
yeah, yeah, yeah.
390
00:18:05,850 --> 00:18:07,060
Can you believe some idiot
391
00:18:07,060 --> 00:18:09,980
Left this perfectly good
back scratcher in there?
392
00:18:09,980 --> 00:18:12,520
Look, it goes all...
393
00:18:12,530 --> 00:18:14,610
The way... Down.
394
00:18:14,610 --> 00:18:16,440
[moans]
395
00:18:16,450 --> 00:18:17,400
What?
396
00:18:18,660 --> 00:18:21,490
Now, if you'll just board
the frink-ama-copter--
397
00:18:21,490 --> 00:18:23,700
-We're not calling it that.
-[grumbles]
398
00:18:23,700 --> 00:18:26,910
And then we'll pop your dna
in to the frink-tabulizer--
399
00:18:26,910 --> 00:18:28,700
We're not calling it that.
400
00:18:28,700 --> 00:18:31,040
[muttering]
401
00:18:31,040 --> 00:18:33,500
And everything will go back
to the way it was.
402
00:18:33,500 --> 00:18:36,050
Wait. Hold on.
Why would I want that?
403
00:18:36,050 --> 00:18:37,970
Finally, everyone thinks
the way I do.
404
00:18:37,970 --> 00:18:41,010
Nobody's making up stupid rules
about bicycle helmets
405
00:18:41,010 --> 00:18:42,510
Or where you can smoke cigars.
406
00:18:42,510 --> 00:18:44,350
-You want to drive
without a seatbelt?
-[tires screech]
407
00:18:44,350 --> 00:18:46,010
Facetime while jaywalking?
408
00:18:46,020 --> 00:18:47,470
-Enjoy a sugary soda?
-[tires screech]
409
00:18:47,480 --> 00:18:50,100
Go ahead!
You're not hurting anyone!
410
00:18:50,100 --> 00:18:51,730
It's a utopia.
411
00:18:51,730 --> 00:18:53,480
No, a me-topia!
412
00:18:53,480 --> 00:18:57,230
Yes, well, you don't really want
everyone to be like you.
413
00:18:57,240 --> 00:18:59,990
Earth-shattering reveal!
414
00:18:59,990 --> 00:19:01,110
[screaming]
415
00:19:01,120 --> 00:19:02,530
[chuckling à la homer]
416
00:19:02,530 --> 00:19:06,080
When did insurance commercials
get so funny?
417
00:19:06,080 --> 00:19:08,370
[gasps] marge!
418
00:19:08,370 --> 00:19:10,370
Cooperating with us
is the only way
419
00:19:10,370 --> 00:19:12,960
To get your wife back to normal.
420
00:19:12,960 --> 00:19:16,380
You've never looked
more beautiful.
421
00:19:16,380 --> 00:19:18,670
[kissing]
422
00:19:18,670 --> 00:19:20,880
Scooch over, gorgeous.
423
00:19:20,890 --> 00:19:22,260
When we get home,
424
00:19:22,260 --> 00:19:24,550
Let's you and I bump muzzles.
425
00:19:24,560 --> 00:19:28,180
Please. Please! If we don't have
some competent people left
426
00:19:28,180 --> 00:19:30,770
To run things,
society will collapse!
427
00:19:30,770 --> 00:19:32,310
Coders to run the internet
428
00:19:32,310 --> 00:19:34,610
That feeds you
the latest misinformation.
429
00:19:34,610 --> 00:19:37,900
Pilots to fly the planes
you need to be restrained on.
430
00:19:37,900 --> 00:19:40,030
I mean,
a world without experts--
431
00:19:40,030 --> 00:19:42,110
Does beaker ever shut up?
432
00:19:42,110 --> 00:19:43,990
[chuckles] good one, me-marge.
433
00:19:43,990 --> 00:19:45,490
Mm, well,
you leave me no choice.
434
00:19:45,490 --> 00:19:47,660
I'm calling in
a nuclear air strike
435
00:19:47,660 --> 00:19:51,040
To obliterate all
the homerized springfielders,
436
00:19:51,040 --> 00:19:52,580
Including, very sadly,
437
00:19:52,580 --> 00:19:54,790
The touring company
of kinky boots.
438
00:19:54,790 --> 00:19:57,040
Obliterating in three, two--
439
00:19:57,050 --> 00:19:58,380
Hey, you know what you need?
440
00:19:58,380 --> 00:20:01,470
A nice, relaxing scratch
on the back.
441
00:20:02,260 --> 00:20:05,970
No! No! Oh, a lifetime
of study and education
442
00:20:05,970 --> 00:20:07,140
Down the... [groans]
443
00:20:07,140 --> 00:20:08,810
[speaking gibberish]
444
00:20:08,810 --> 00:20:11,140
♪ this must be just like ♪
445
00:20:11,140 --> 00:20:13,640
♪ living in paradise ♪
446
00:20:15,900 --> 00:20:19,610
♪ and I don't want to go home ♪
447
00:20:19,610 --> 00:20:21,110
[whoops]
448
00:20:21,110 --> 00:20:25,990
♪ this must be
just like living in paradise ♪
449
00:20:25,990 --> 00:20:28,780
-♪ just like paradise ♪
-[whoops]
450
00:20:28,790 --> 00:20:31,750
♪ and I don't want to go home ♪
451
00:20:31,750 --> 00:20:32,750
[whoops]
452
00:20:32,750 --> 00:20:35,420
♪ and I don't want to go ♪
453
00:20:35,420 --> 00:20:36,460
♪ this must be ♪
454
00:20:36,460 --> 00:20:40,130
♪ just like living in paradise ♪
455
00:20:40,130 --> 00:20:42,210
[all belching]
456
00:20:42,220 --> 00:20:45,340
♪ and I don't want to go home. ♪
457
00:20:50,270 --> 00:20:54,180
Captioning sponsored by
20th century fox television
458
00:20:54,190 --> 00:20:58,400
And fox broadcasting company
459
00:20:58,400 --> 00:21:01,980
And toyota.
460
00:21:01,980 --> 00:21:06,410
Captioned by
media access group at wgbh
access.Wgbh.Org
461
00:21:29,720 --> 00:21:30,850
[belches]
462
00:21:30,850 --> 00:21:33,640
[organ music plays]
31569
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