All language subtitles for Frasier s01e05 The Founders Society.eng

I heard the singing down the
hall. Whose birthday was it?

I don't know.
I wasn't there.

It's not my birthday.

So, there was
another office gathering

to which I was not invited?

Well, yes, but think of
all the good you're doing.

If not for you, there
wouldn't be an in-crowd.

I can't believe I'm
having such a hard time

fitting in at Harvard.

Kind of hard to fall
back on the old line,

"They're just intimidated
by your intellect."

Don't take it personally.
You're still new.

Besides, no one else
we know was at the party.

Alan, there you are.

There's ice cream, too?

I was just
delivered something

that made me fly over here.

Interesting,

because I, too, received
something that,

would be a real
feather in my cap.

So, if you got the flu...?

It would be avian in nature.

I'm gonna freak out if
I'm not included real soon.

I got the golden plume.

I, too, was plumed.

"You've been cordially
invited to attend

"the Founders' Society mixer.

Join the president and
fellows of Harvard University."

What is this?

It's no big deal. It's just

an extremely selective group
of Harvard's brightest minds

who help shape the
university's future.

I'm kidding, it's
a very big deal.

I heard, in their cellar,

they have a bottle of Scotch

from Shackleton's
1917 expedition.

What I wouldn't give

to have a piece of history
like that burn my esophagus.

Every Harvard president

started out as a member
of the Founders' Society.

My sister's
gonna be so jealous.

Text Monica.

"I'm about to be president."

"I'm about to be pregnant."

She'll still
be jealous. Send.

You know, this is what's
wrong with academia.

Look at the two of you,

acting like a couple
of giddy children

because of an invitation for
some pretentious, elitist clique

that just had to...

I got a golden plume.

We all got a plume.

I've got a plume. My God.

There they are.

- I'll get it.
- Thank you, Freddy.

- Hey. - Hey.
- My,

you look ravishing.

Well, I tried something
fun with my hair.

This is so exciting.
The three of us together.

Aren't you all

competing against each
other to get into that club?

Technically, yes, but
we've gamed the system

by forming an alliance.

See, working together allows you

to brag about one
other, which is endearing,

but when you brag about
yourself, it's obnoxious.

Yes, the whole
thing was my idea.

It's a brilliant idea. I
mean, with my connections,

Dr. Crane's celebrity,
and also Alan,

um, we're shoo-ins for
the Founders' Society.

"The Founders'
Society."

Isn't this whole thing
just a little pretentious?

- Yes, of course it is.
- Absolutely. - Very much so.

Look, and we all have

very good reasons
for wanting to get in.

I mean, I for one
would like to find a place

where I feel like I belong.

Scotch-related gluttony for me.

Naked ambition here.

Here we are.
Champagne. Plus, it gives

Alan and I an opportunity

to exorcise some demons.

Yes, the
Bullingdon Club incident.

A classic story.

It was back when we
were both attending Oxford.

We tried to get into
their most exclusive club,

and while we were pledging...

You got lights-out drunk

and snuck into the library.

Freddy, please.

Olivia and Eve have
not heard this story.

So, once we were inebriated,

we thought we would sneak
into the library and try to steal...

Oscar Wilde's walking stick.

Olivia, please. Eve
has not heard this story.

So, once we absconded
with the stick we were...

Tackled by a pack of
surprisingly spry librarians

and forever banned
from the club.

It
was my darkest hour.

I do not sound like that.

So, you've all heard this story?

Dad,

you and Alan have five stories.

No, no. Have you heard
the one about...

we tried to rescue a poodle...

from the deck of a
catamaran, and we ended up...

Naked in Denmark.

You know, you tell these
stories so often that I'm afraid

that John's first
words are gonna be...

"And
that crazy drunk chick

turned out to be
Princess Margaret."

I apologize for the humiliation

I'm about to
inflict on you, Eve,

but you're doing an
East Sussex accent,

and I come from West Sussex.

Ooh, Alan, zing.

Our chariot awaits. Here we go.

All right, well,
you kids have fun.

Don't eat anything endangered.

You really do look fabulous.

- Thank you.
- Thank you so much.

David. Hello. See you soon.

What is up, cousin?

You know, just
excited about a quiet night in

at home, by myself.

I like the sound
of that. I'll join you.

So what is up

in Freddy Land?

Is there a-a Mrs.
Freddy on the horizon?

Nope. No girlfriend
at the moment.

That's a shame.

You sure there's nothing

going on between you and Eve?

- What? No.
- Why not?

I mean, you have
all this history,

you've lived
together for a while.

Also, you've seen each
other in your pajamas.

David, you know she used
to date my buddy before he...

Trust me, nothing
can happen there.

Cool, cool. Smart.

In that case, I'm
gonna ask her out.

What? No. You can't ask her out.

Got it. You love
her. I'll back off.

Okay, David. Please listen to me.

I don't have any
feelings for Eve.

Okay? We're just friends.

Understood. I'm
clear for takeoff.

No. My God.
Y-You're a teenager.

She's almost 30. Her
boyfriend died barely a year ago.

She has a baby you're
not even allowed to hold.

A baby I'm afraid to hold.

And trust me,

she wants this.

You know what? Go for it.

Ask her out. See what happens.

Thank you for your blessing.

Eve, what a lovely surprise.

Why? I live here.

What? Are you serious?

He cleared you for takeoff?

This place is so stuffy.

I love it.

Looks like the sort
of place you retire to

after a long day hunting man.

Okay, every second counts.

We have two hours
to meet and impress

as many members as possible,

after which they will
get together and vote

to select the new inductees.

The most important person

is the chair of the econ
department, Dean Melvin.

He is the head of the society.

What are you doing?

I'm trying on a priceless
antique gauntlet.

- What's it look like I'm doing?
- Why?

Because the helmet
would mess up my hair.

I do not want a repeat of
the Bullingdon club incident.

Please take the gauntlet
off before someone sees you.

It's stuck.

What do you mean,
it's stuck? Give me that.

Curse the tiny hands of
the 14th century chevaliers.

Founders incoming. Be cool.

Dr. Finch.

Glad you could make it.

Dr. Bowen, Dr. Sharma.

It's so great to see you.

These are my colleagues
Dr. Crane and Dr. Cornwall.

- Yeah, lovely to see you. Thank you so much. Hi.
- Hello.

Charmed.

Dr. Finch, everyone

is buzzing about how you're

transforming the
psych department.

Thank you, but Dr. Crane
here is the true game-changer.

Now, Dr. Cornwall
invented game-changing.

Please, game-changing
was game over

until Dr. Finch changed
the game-changing game.

You all sound like
real game-changers.

I'm
thinking the same thing.

We could use that around here.

Plus, it is
refreshing to see such a spirit

of camaraderie.

Not everyone here is
always that supportive.

You should know how
to parallel park by now.

We were on a hill.

We killed it.

Frasier, your alliance
idea was brilliant.

I think this calls for
a drink.

You know, usually I
refrain from statements

that might come
back to haunt me,

but I believe that we are
going to get into this club,

and nothing is going to
stop that from happening.

Well, it is a great
group of candidates.

It sure is.

It's too bad we only have room

for two new members this year.

So, two spots

and...

three of us.

Puts our alliance in
a precarious situation.

What to do? What to do?

You know, it's times like
this I like to remind myself,

Dr. Crane, I hired you.

Yes, but what's more important:

a job that forces you to work

a soul-crushing
eight hours a week,

or a decades-long
friendship with a man

whom you recently
described as ravishing?

Or maybe the
strongest bond of all

is between two people,
a man and a woman,

whose faces have
never been on a billboard.

All right,
let's just stop it.

Two of us can still get in

if we maintain our
alliance. Please,

just remember the inspiring
words of Cincinnatus

as he addressed his troops,

"Oblivisci societatis.

Pascamus eam lupis."

Yes.

To which his crowd cheered,

"Sub curru laciamus eam."

Exactly.

And then Cincinnatus said,

in the spirit of harmony,

"Ita callidi sumus,

plane ea Latine nescit."

I'm so glad we're a team.

- Here comes the happy couple.
- You let him do this?

Well, in my defense, I
thought it would be funny.

And, in my further
defense, it was.

It's not that he asked me out.

It's how he asked me out.

What, this charmer? Come
on, couldn't have been that bad.

How'd you ask her out?

Stop. Stop.

Wow.

This is not my forte.

I'm not suave like you are.

You've kissed, what,

four, five girls?

Four... David.

I'm Mr. July

in the firefighters' calendar.

I'm a man in uniform
with a full head of hair.

I-I carry women out
of burning buildings.

You think they just want
to shake my hand after?

Ooh, big talk
coming from the guy

sitting at home reading...

Little Women. What?

I'd like to see you try coming
of age during the Civil War.

Your cousin has no
idea how to talk to girls.

It would be very nice
if you would help him.

But...

Okay, fine.

David, tonight I'm
gonna teach you

how to strike up conversation
with a real live human woman.

That's right,

I am gonna give you the gift

of game.

Loser. Okay, you know what?

I'm gonna stay and help.

Really? How many
girls have you kissed?

More than you, babe.

There he is, Dean Melvin.
Okay, um,

I need to get some air
before I speak to him.

- Do not start without me.
- No, of course. - Of course, of course.

Let's go, let's go, let's go.

What a pleasure to meet you.

likewise. Sorry, I'm just
looking for a bottle opener.

Well, allow me.

Thank you.

Wow, wish you two
were around all the time.

I think that
could be arranged.

Dean Melvin, hello.

"Voluptatem, ut semper."

Dr. Finch. I'd forgotten
you're a fellow Latin buff.

Not a very useful
skill these days, is it?

You'd be surprised.

Where are your colleagues?

I think they think that
schmoozing with the waiter

is going to get
them into the club.

You know, something
I'm wondering, actually, is,

what is your take on Keynesian

theory versus neoclassical?

What's the difference?

Fascinating.

So, what you're saying is

they're really different sides

of the same coin.

You're a trip, man.

- Can I get you a drink?
- We should be getting you a drink.

Where's that damn waiter?

I don't know. Where is he?

- Almost ready.
- What's with the whistle?

Well, at the fire
station we run drills

till we get things right.

Tonight you

are gonna master walking up to
a woman and making small talk.

Eve will be your practice girl.

Can we not refer to
me as a practice girl?

Okay, please
approach your...

rehearsal human...

and introduce yourself.

Hello, milady.

She's not Maid Marian. Go back,

try again. Speak like
people your own age.

Sup, queen?

Nope. Do it again.

This is really hard.

Are you sure I have to talk
to someone to date them?

Let's just pretend
you're at a club.

Talk about your surroundings.

It's really loud in here!

Yeah, that was my bad.

Let's say it's a coffee shop.

How loud is it?

You're the only
two people there.

Why? Does it have
a bad health score?

- David.
- Sorry, sorry.

Who's your favorite magician?

So, you want to hear
some facts about whales?

What's your favorite word?

Mine's a tie between
"conquistador" and "lemon."

I'm a gentleman,
so I'll ask first,

may I smell your hair?

Want to guess how
many toes I have?

Hint, it's lower.

Why am I so bad at
this when my father

was such a ladies' man?

You're making this way
too hard. Keep it simple.

Confidence is attractive.

Stand straight.
Freddy, show him.

Then just try to make
eye contact. Freddy?

If she looks away,
she's not feeling it,

but if she looks
back, she might be.

Then just to make
conversation. Freddy?

Hey, I noticed

the book you were
reading. Any good?

Yeah, it's so good.

I actually already finished it.

- Do you want to borrow it?
- I'd love to,

but then I'd need
to get your number.

You know, so I can return it.

Sure.

I hope you're a fast reader.

Wow.

I'm really bad at
reading people,

but I could've sworn you
two were into each other.

Great acting. Even you, Eve.

So you play
quite an important role here?

I'm just here to serve people.

Such a noble
way of looking at it.

That's what I keep
trying to tell my mom.

Well, she's a fool
if she's not proud.

You guys get me.

Listen, I should probably
go out and make the rounds.

Yes, of course. We just wanted
some face time with the dean.

Who's Dean?

Well, you are.
Dean Melvin.

I'm Kevin. That
guy's Dean Melvin.

What are you doing?

I'm attempting
to flip her the bird.

Hey, listen,

if you guys want
to get high later,

just let me know.

I'm in.

Dean Melvin loved me and
said that he will make sure

that I am accepted,
but, more importantly,

"Servus te amavit?"

Well, he asked us to get high,

so I think he liked
us pretty well.

Well, good news for you is that

Dean Melvin is interested
in my recommendation

for the final spot.

And, for the record, I am
very open to accepting bribes.

Please, Olivia, our
friendship is rock solid.

We're not about to start
competing with each other...

I'll give you my son.

What?

Don't play so coy, sister. I've
seen the way you look at him.

I know when he
showers. I can get you...

What the hell am I doing?

What you're doing is
making a deal. Keep talking.

I know I've said no a
hundred times, Olivia,

but now I am
prepared...

to go ice-skating with you.

Alan, do not mess with me.

Come on, it's obvious

who's Founders' Society
material around here.

It's the one of us

who doesn't need a can
opener to check his watch.

So we're just

trading jabs now, are we? Fine.

Then it is time to
throw down the gauntlet.

That would've been so good.

Decide between yourselves
and then let me know.

Right now Alan is ahead.

Text Monica.

"I finally found a
skating partner."

"I finally
found a mating partner."

That is much better.

All right.

I think I've come
up with a solution

that'll make us both happy.

Go on.

You bow out.

What? Why should I bow out?

Because this is important
to me, and as far as I can tell,

nothing is important to you.

Plus, you owe me.

I owe you? What the
hell does that mean?

You know perfectly
well what it means.

Explain it to me like
I'm a student at Tufts.

You...

are the one...

who wanted to steal
Oscar Wilde's cane.

You...

are the one who wanted
to play with that poodle.

You take nothing seriously,

and I am always the one
who has to pay a price for it.

You make me sound like
some reckless buffoon.

Anyway, this place
isn't that great, you know.

A huge crack in that table.

Will you please, please

not ruin this one thing for me?

I see.

I had no idea this is
how you felt about us,

and I'm very sorry.

I will of course

bow out, and I'll help
you secure that final spot.

Thank you. Now,

let's go talk me up to
some of the other members.

We're almost out of time.

If I may,
one tiny request first.

I'd like you to help me
meet a rather special lady.

Really? Who is the
intoxicating little creature?

She's
beautiful, isn't she?

Gorgeous. Now, can we go?

You act like you've never
seen a bottle of alcohol before.

It's a vintage
Chateau Chien Blanc.

I'll give you
two some privacy.

I noticed something on the
way in. I just want to check it.

Lady Chien.

Well, I don't mean to
brag, but I was right.

- About?
- Well, on our way in here,

I accidentally locked the door,
and we're stuck down here.

What?

Yeah, I know, I know,
we're both upset.

If only there were

something in this
room that could help

calm our nerves.

All right, David,
this is the final drill.

Releasing you into the wild.

Remember, the goal
is just to meet someone

and have a conversation.
You see anyone interesting?

I don't know if I can do this.

I forgot how people talk.

Maybe I could just build a
girlfriend. That seems easier.

I don't disagree, but,

I think you
should give it a try.

I need a drink.

He's joking about
building a girlfriend, right?

I don't know. I've
seen the schematics.

Tonic soda, grenadine
back, don't skimp on the ice.

Sorry.

Just taking the edge off.
I'm... I'm really nervous.

I get it.

I'm the same way.

Sometimes, when I'm nervous,

I close my eyes and
recite state capitals.

I do the same thing
with presidents.

Yes. We can both say Lincoln.

You know what
really calms me down?

Sniffing old books?

Get out of my head.

Th-There's an old
bookstore around the corner,

if you want to go check it out.

I'd love to.

Sorry, guys.

I-I don't think it's
gonna work out tonight.

I'll do better next
time, I promise.

Milady.

Did he just pick up a girl
without even realizing it?

You know, now and then,
in this workaday world,

things do happen in a delightful

storybook fashion,

and what a comfort it is.

Is that a quote
from Little Women?

It's a classic for a reason.

No signal down here, of course.

So, the Founders' Society
mixer is almost over,

the only people we've mixed
with are each other and Kevin.

And, again, I'm sorry. I
promise you, in future,

I won't pull you into any
more of my silly antics.

Now, just put your
hands like this.

Thank you.

Alan.

Well, we're gonna
be down here awhile.

We might as well have
something warm in our bellies.

Yes.

This is a big joke. Does
anything actually matter to you?

I can think of two things
I care deeply about:

my cat and you.

I was sure you were
going to say Scotch.

I know I can be flippant
about things, and that

you've had to
pay the price, so...

I'm sorry if I've
mucked things up again.

Thank you.

And I'm sorry if I seem to take

things a bit too
seriously sometimes.

I've always
wondered why that is.

You know, it's funny.

The thing about me is, I...

I've always wanted to fit
in somewhere, you know?

I mean, even when I was

back in Boston, I-I used to
be a regular at a bar, and yet...

Nobody knew your name?

Well, not-not
exactly, but, um...

I still have this longing

to find the place
where I belong.

Have you still got passion?

We're in our 60s, man.

What's wrong with "good enough"?
What's wrong with "this'll do"?

What's wrong with

limping towards the finish line?

What's wrong? Well, let's see.

We're locked in a basement,

you've got a, a gauntlet

stuck on your arm.

And you're drinking
century-old booze

with your best-looking friend.

Sounds delightful.

The only thing I would change...

is that terrible Scotch.

Why am I chewing?

Well, if nothing
else, consider this,

we've got the sixth story
to bore everyone with.

That's a
hell of a silver lining.

You know,
I don't remember

one thing about
that Bullingdon Club,

but I'll never forget
being tackled by those

rabid librarian bullies.

Gosh.

That is something I
will always remember.

Me, too.

So you're no longer mad at
me for messing up your evening?

No, of course not.

Good, because I lied
about the door being locked.

What? You mean the
door's been unlocked

-all this time?
-No, no, have a look. There isn't a door.

What? You locked me
in a room without a door?

Not bad for a reckless buffoon.

No, I just thought we
ought to, hash things out.

I've certainly
learned my lesson.

Who cares about
this ridiculous club?

I've got you. I don't need them.

Dr. Crane. I've been dying
to speak with you all night.

We would be honored if you
would like to join our society.

I'd love to.

Wonderful.

The fact that you paused
at all is a huge step forward.

Y'all
know how this goes.

Yeah, maybe. But
I got you pegged.

Good night, everybody!

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