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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:03,085 --> 00:00:04,519 "Hot in Cleveland" is recorded 2 00:00:04,620 --> 00:00:06,452 in front of a live studio audience. 3 00:00:09,291 --> 00:00:11,123 Bob sent a gift from Canada. 4 00:00:11,226 --> 00:00:14,754 Oh, my life is so good right now. 5 00:00:14,863 --> 00:00:18,231 Actually, all of our lives are just about perfect right now. 6 00:00:18,334 --> 00:00:19,495 You're happy with Dane. 7 00:00:19,601 --> 00:00:21,797 Your HBO series is about to premiere. 8 00:00:21,904 --> 00:00:22,803 Stop. 9 00:00:22,905 --> 00:00:24,703 Don't tempt the evil eye. 10 00:00:24,807 --> 00:00:26,207 What are you talking about? 11 00:00:26,308 --> 00:00:31,042 In Poland, my mother said, "Everything is perfect." 12 00:00:31,146 --> 00:00:34,480 The next morning, the Nazis invaded. 13 00:00:36,385 --> 00:00:37,385 Oh, God. 14 00:00:37,453 --> 00:00:39,854 And I got the worst pimple. 15 00:00:39,955 --> 00:00:40,955 It was right here. 16 00:00:42,124 --> 00:00:44,457 Absolutely ruin your day. 17 00:00:44,560 --> 00:00:47,257 Oh, I do love getting gifts. 18 00:00:47,363 --> 00:00:49,764 Bob is such a doll. 19 00:00:49,865 --> 00:00:51,697 Oh, my God. 20 00:00:52,701 --> 00:00:55,364 Bob is a doll. 21 00:00:57,172 --> 00:00:59,232 He had a doll made to look like himself? 22 00:00:59,341 --> 00:01:01,674 That is the most disturbing thing I have ever seen, 23 00:01:01,777 --> 00:01:05,214 and I have been in a windstorm with Donald Trump. 24 00:01:10,319 --> 00:01:12,584 There's a note. 25 00:01:12,688 --> 00:01:14,020 "My little detective... 26 00:01:14,123 --> 00:01:17,025 never has a heart been as full as mine." 27 00:01:17,126 --> 00:01:19,493 - Oh, that's sweet. - Mm. 28 00:01:19,595 --> 00:01:24,158 It really is a unique, thoughtful... 29 00:01:25,267 --> 00:01:27,964 ultimately creepy gift. 30 00:01:28,604 --> 00:01:31,199 Oh! Little Bob hit his head. 31 00:01:31,306 --> 00:01:33,298 Don't give it a name. 32 00:01:35,010 --> 00:01:37,878 Oh, that's him now. 33 00:01:37,980 --> 00:01:39,471 Hey, Joy. Did you get my gift? 34 00:01:39,581 --> 00:01:40,742 I did. 35 00:01:40,849 --> 00:01:42,408 Have you undressed him yet? 36 00:01:43,585 --> 00:01:45,383 Not yet. Can't wait. 37 00:01:46,722 --> 00:01:48,247 What's wrong with your head? 38 00:01:48,357 --> 00:01:51,054 Oh, I-I banged it real bad. 39 00:01:51,160 --> 00:01:52,992 Just like Little Bob. 40 00:01:55,130 --> 00:01:56,341 Actually, can you hang on a second? 41 00:01:56,365 --> 00:01:58,231 I'm just gonna run and get some ice. 42 00:01:58,801 --> 00:02:01,669 Wow. Oh, that is really weird. 43 00:02:01,770 --> 00:02:03,796 What if everything that happens to Little Bob 44 00:02:03,906 --> 00:02:06,501 happens to Slightly Larger Bob? 45 00:02:08,243 --> 00:02:10,178 Maybe it's a voodoo doll. 46 00:02:10,279 --> 00:02:13,977 There is no such thing as voodoo. 47 00:02:14,083 --> 00:02:16,382 If I twist the doll arm, it's not like, you know... 48 00:02:16,485 --> 00:02:18,283 Ow! 49 00:02:18,387 --> 00:02:21,016 Bob, what happened? What's the matter? 50 00:02:21,123 --> 00:02:23,752 Oh, I don't know. I just tweaked my shoulder. 51 00:02:23,859 --> 00:02:26,351 I'll call you back, okay? 52 00:02:28,897 --> 00:02:30,092 Don't say it. 53 00:02:30,199 --> 00:02:32,395 Well, you got to admit, that's kind of weird. 54 00:02:32,501 --> 00:02:34,697 Voodoo. 55 00:02:35,804 --> 00:02:37,549 Oh. Oh, that's got to be Dane. 56 00:02:37,573 --> 00:02:39,405 Listen, guys, just so you know, 57 00:02:39,508 --> 00:02:43,206 he got laid off this morning, so he might be a little fragile. 58 00:02:43,312 --> 00:02:46,805 - Hey, babe. - Hi, honey. 59 00:02:47,349 --> 00:02:48,349 Something wrong? 60 00:02:48,450 --> 00:02:50,783 Well, not with me, but you lost your job. 61 00:02:50,886 --> 00:02:52,650 I'm fine. 62 00:02:52,754 --> 00:02:55,622 Hit a bucket of balls, listened to some Foo Fighters. 63 00:02:55,724 --> 00:02:57,625 I'm over it. 64 00:02:58,961 --> 00:03:00,691 Wouldn't say no to a cold beer, though. 65 00:03:01,730 --> 00:03:03,756 Hello, ladies. 66 00:03:03,866 --> 00:03:05,459 Little Bob. 67 00:03:08,437 --> 00:03:10,531 I'm so sorry you got fired. 68 00:03:10,639 --> 00:03:12,399 Do you want to talk about how you're feeling? 69 00:03:13,008 --> 00:03:14,237 Not really. 70 00:03:14,343 --> 00:03:15,954 Do you want to talk about why you don't want 71 00:03:15,978 --> 00:03:17,098 to talk about your feelings? 72 00:03:18,313 --> 00:03:19,508 Not really. 73 00:03:19,615 --> 00:03:20,639 Why? 74 00:03:20,749 --> 00:03:22,741 'Cause I'm a guy. 75 00:03:23,552 --> 00:03:25,392 Well, don't you think the world would be better 76 00:03:25,420 --> 00:03:27,218 if guys talked about their feelings? 77 00:03:27,322 --> 00:03:29,518 Not really. 78 00:03:30,893 --> 00:03:33,453 Well, I'm here for you. Mwah. 79 00:03:34,530 --> 00:03:36,726 Did you start smoking again? 80 00:03:36,832 --> 00:03:38,528 Maybe I'm a little stressed. 81 00:03:38,634 --> 00:03:39,761 Well, I think I can help. 82 00:03:39,868 --> 00:03:41,112 Joy stopped smoking a while ago. 83 00:03:41,136 --> 00:03:42,661 She has some nicotine patches upstairs. 84 00:03:42,771 --> 00:03:43,670 I'll get them for you. 85 00:03:43,772 --> 00:03:45,263 Whoa, whoa, whoa. 86 00:03:45,374 --> 00:03:47,570 I'll go with you. We can have sex. 87 00:03:47,676 --> 00:03:49,702 Aren't you too upset to have sex? 88 00:03:49,811 --> 00:03:52,212 You say the cutest things. 89 00:03:55,717 --> 00:03:57,015 Ari! 90 00:03:57,119 --> 00:03:59,281 Victoria. 91 00:03:59,388 --> 00:04:01,084 What are you doing here? 92 00:04:01,190 --> 00:04:03,682 You know why I'm a great agent? 93 00:04:03,792 --> 00:04:07,092 'Cause I'm the biggest bastard in Hollywood. 94 00:04:07,196 --> 00:04:09,256 Luckily, I'm your bastard. 95 00:04:10,799 --> 00:04:13,530 Wait a minute. 96 00:04:13,635 --> 00:04:15,604 If you flew all the way from L.A., 97 00:04:15,704 --> 00:04:18,435 then you must have some big news about my HBO show. 98 00:04:18,540 --> 00:04:20,736 I do. Huge news. 99 00:04:20,842 --> 00:04:22,367 So, what is it? 100 00:04:22,477 --> 00:04:25,572 They're cutting you out of the show. 101 00:04:33,555 --> 00:04:35,683 # Ba-ba, ba-ba # 102 00:04:35,757 --> 00:04:38,955 # Ba-ba, ba-ba # 103 00:04:39,061 --> 00:04:39,619 # Hey! # 104 00:04:39,728 --> 00:04:40,972 Why did they cut me from the show? 105 00:04:40,996 --> 00:04:42,555 Did they think my acting was bad? 106 00:04:42,664 --> 00:04:46,601 You're gonna laugh at this, but they had no specific reason. 107 00:04:50,339 --> 00:04:51,830 Why would that make me laugh? 108 00:04:51,940 --> 00:04:55,399 Well, the guy who told me had a funny accent. 109 00:04:57,679 --> 00:04:59,307 This is a disaster. 110 00:04:59,414 --> 00:05:01,212 If they won't say why I was fired, 111 00:05:01,316 --> 00:05:04,377 then people will start making up all sorts of crazy rumors... 112 00:05:04,486 --> 00:05:08,287 That I'm a diva, that I'm untalented, my career is over. 113 00:05:08,390 --> 00:05:10,552 They won't say those things. 114 00:05:10,659 --> 00:05:13,493 But don't check today's Variety. 115 00:05:15,197 --> 00:05:16,358 I need something right away 116 00:05:16,465 --> 00:05:18,263 to show people that I can still get work. 117 00:05:18,367 --> 00:05:20,598 Now, are there any options out there for me? 118 00:05:20,702 --> 00:05:22,534 Are there any options? 119 00:05:22,638 --> 00:05:23,901 There are two... 120 00:05:24,006 --> 00:05:27,841 A low-budget picture shot in Romania 121 00:05:27,943 --> 00:05:32,813 or a play at a theater right here in Cleveland. 122 00:05:32,914 --> 00:05:34,746 I'll take the movie. 123 00:05:34,850 --> 00:05:37,012 There is no movie. 124 00:05:37,119 --> 00:05:38,280 What? 125 00:05:38,387 --> 00:05:40,686 I just wanted you to think you had some options. 126 00:05:40,789 --> 00:05:43,384 I thought surely you'd take the play. 127 00:05:43,492 --> 00:05:45,791 But local theater is what movie stars do 128 00:05:45,894 --> 00:05:47,055 when they can't get any work. 129 00:05:47,162 --> 00:05:50,564 Which is why you're perfect for this. 130 00:05:56,772 --> 00:05:59,298 Victoria, I know you think that local theater is beneath you, 131 00:05:59,408 --> 00:06:00,967 but you'll be great in the play. 132 00:06:01,076 --> 00:06:02,135 Will I? 133 00:06:02,244 --> 00:06:05,339 The thing is, because HBO isn't saying why they cut me, 134 00:06:05,447 --> 00:06:07,143 I don't know what to fix. 135 00:06:07,249 --> 00:06:09,946 Did I not delve deeply enough into my character's backstory? 136 00:06:10,052 --> 00:06:12,954 Did I not make interesting enough choices? 137 00:06:13,055 --> 00:06:16,150 I have lost all faith in my acting instincts. 138 00:06:16,258 --> 00:06:17,749 Oh, you sweet thing. 139 00:06:17,859 --> 00:06:20,192 Everything you do is adorable. 140 00:06:20,295 --> 00:06:22,321 Oh, thank you, Elka. 141 00:06:22,431 --> 00:06:24,593 I was talking to the dog. 142 00:06:26,301 --> 00:06:28,031 Aww! 143 00:06:28,136 --> 00:06:31,766 Oh, look at him. He's snuggling him from behind. 144 00:06:33,342 --> 00:06:34,970 That's not snuggling. 145 00:06:35,077 --> 00:06:36,670 Oh, no. 146 00:06:36,778 --> 00:06:38,508 - That is not right. - No. 147 00:06:38,613 --> 00:06:40,741 It's a voodoo doll. 148 00:06:40,849 --> 00:06:45,082 That's probably happening to Bob right now. 149 00:06:47,289 --> 00:06:49,815 It is not a voodoo doll! 150 00:06:49,925 --> 00:06:53,692 It's just a really creepy doll that my boyfriend gave me, 151 00:06:53,795 --> 00:06:56,264 so I can't get rid of it. 152 00:06:56,365 --> 00:06:58,891 I'd like to, but I can't. 153 00:06:59,000 --> 00:07:00,491 Okay. I'll do it. 154 00:07:00,602 --> 00:07:02,680 I know a kids' charity that would probably like to take it. 155 00:07:02,704 --> 00:07:03,784 And, anyway, I owe you one. 156 00:07:03,872 --> 00:07:06,034 I gave Dane a bunch of your nicotine patches. 157 00:07:06,141 --> 00:07:08,770 Wait. Those aren't nicotine patches. 158 00:07:08,877 --> 00:07:11,039 I got those from a friend in Sweden. 159 00:07:11,146 --> 00:07:14,241 They're a skin treatment that's unapproved here in the States. 160 00:07:15,517 --> 00:07:17,383 Unapproved? W-What's in them? 161 00:07:17,486 --> 00:07:19,921 Really high doses of estrogen. 162 00:07:22,124 --> 00:07:23,524 Estrogen?! 163 00:07:23,625 --> 00:07:27,960 Oh, my God. Did I just turn my boyfriend into a woman? 164 00:07:29,731 --> 00:07:31,723 Hi, Dane. Ooh, white wine. 165 00:07:31,833 --> 00:07:32,732 Is that for me? 166 00:07:32,834 --> 00:07:36,737 No, I just felt like something crisp. 167 00:07:38,573 --> 00:07:41,441 Besides, I was feeling a bit bloated. 168 00:07:41,543 --> 00:07:43,535 Yeah. Uh 169 00:07:43,645 --> 00:07:45,123 Look, Dane, there's something I need to tell you 170 00:07:45,147 --> 00:07:46,046 about those patches you're wearing. 171 00:07:46,148 --> 00:07:48,140 The patches, right. 172 00:07:48,250 --> 00:07:49,718 At first, I still wanted to smoke, 173 00:07:49,818 --> 00:07:52,447 so I used like five of them. 174 00:07:53,388 --> 00:07:55,414 - Five? - Yeah. 175 00:07:55,524 --> 00:07:57,152 And it's weird. I stopped smoking. 176 00:07:57,259 --> 00:08:00,252 But I feel like I've had an emotional awakening. 177 00:08:01,763 --> 00:08:03,908 Last night, I caught an episode of "Oprah's Master Class" 178 00:08:03,932 --> 00:08:06,197 - with Susan Sarandon. - Oh, still gorgeous. 179 00:08:06,301 --> 00:08:07,997 Right? 180 00:08:08,870 --> 00:08:11,772 And she said things happen for a reason. 181 00:08:12,307 --> 00:08:15,368 And I thought, "Things do happen for a reason." 182 00:08:16,678 --> 00:08:19,375 Maybe that reason was for you and I to grow closer. 183 00:08:20,916 --> 00:08:24,148 Anyway, you wanted to tell me something about those patches. 184 00:08:24,252 --> 00:08:27,882 Just that if you've ran out, I could get you some more. 185 00:08:31,293 --> 00:08:32,659 Let's welcome the brilliant 186 00:08:32,761 --> 00:08:35,162 Oscar- and Emmy-Award-winning actress, 187 00:08:35,263 --> 00:08:36,356 Victoria Chase. 188 00:08:38,900 --> 00:08:41,995 Soon to be starring in an upcoming HBO series. 189 00:08:43,305 --> 00:08:45,206 Okay, forget that last part. 190 00:08:47,409 --> 00:08:48,707 So, let's get started, shall we? 191 00:08:48,810 --> 00:08:49,709 Great. 192 00:08:49,811 --> 00:08:52,371 I was up all night working on my character's backstory. 193 00:08:52,481 --> 00:08:54,313 - I think you're gonna like it. - Terrific. 194 00:08:54,416 --> 00:08:55,816 Okay, places, everybody. 195 00:08:57,452 --> 00:09:02,447 "We open in a small roadside diner in Carson City, Nevada." 196 00:09:02,557 --> 00:09:03,835 'Ey there, 'andsome. 197 00:09:03,859 --> 00:09:06,090 Warm up that coffee for ya? 198 00:09:06,194 --> 00:09:08,686 Victoria, I'm gonna stop you. 199 00:09:08,797 --> 00:09:09,821 Interesting choice. 200 00:09:09,931 --> 00:09:11,175 Oh, it was, wasn't it? 201 00:09:11,199 --> 00:09:14,033 You know, I-I get the sense that my character 202 00:09:14,135 --> 00:09:16,104 feels like she's superior to everyone around her, 203 00:09:16,204 --> 00:09:18,537 and so I thought, "Why not make her British?" 204 00:09:18,640 --> 00:09:20,575 Well, here's one reason I can think of. 205 00:09:21,943 --> 00:09:23,605 The play is about how she's lived 206 00:09:23,712 --> 00:09:27,012 in the same small Nevada town her whole life. 207 00:09:27,115 --> 00:09:28,793 So maybe we could try it without the accent. 208 00:09:28,817 --> 00:09:29,961 Of course. Of course. Bad choice. 209 00:09:29,985 --> 00:09:32,113 Let me just give you another one. 210 00:09:34,089 --> 00:09:37,253 Hey, handsome. Warm up that coffee for you? 211 00:09:39,027 --> 00:09:40,791 # Hey, there, handsome # 212 00:09:40,896 --> 00:09:43,695 # Warm up your coffee for you? # 213 00:09:43,798 --> 00:09:45,960 Take five, everybody. 214 00:09:47,602 --> 00:09:49,764 Well, it was a little rocky at first, 215 00:09:49,871 --> 00:09:52,807 but I finally found the perfect backstory and accent 216 00:09:52,908 --> 00:09:54,376 for my character. 217 00:09:54,476 --> 00:09:56,721 You didn't do that thing you call a British accent, did you? 218 00:09:56,745 --> 00:09:57,745 Hey! 219 00:09:57,846 --> 00:09:59,557 Me British accent 'appens to be 220 00:09:59,581 --> 00:10:02,813 quite good, indeed. 221 00:10:04,019 --> 00:10:05,453 I'd love to hear it one day. 222 00:10:07,956 --> 00:10:10,152 Well, I did it. 223 00:10:10,258 --> 00:10:12,420 By drugging my boyfriend with estrogen, 224 00:10:12,527 --> 00:10:15,691 I have created the perfect man. 225 00:10:15,797 --> 00:10:17,993 He's empathetic, he wants to talk about his feelings, 226 00:10:18,099 --> 00:10:19,567 and he even noticed my new bag. 227 00:10:19,668 --> 00:10:20,567 What?! 228 00:10:20,669 --> 00:10:24,162 No, sometimes they notice shoes, but never the bag. 229 00:10:27,275 --> 00:10:28,470 Elka, what's wrong? 230 00:10:28,577 --> 00:10:31,206 Oh, George Clooney is upset. 231 00:10:31,313 --> 00:10:34,249 His Little Bob doll is missing. 232 00:10:34,883 --> 00:10:37,148 I told you I was gonna give it to a kids' charity. 233 00:10:37,252 --> 00:10:41,121 And I told you you were messing with voodoo. 234 00:10:41,222 --> 00:10:43,657 Well, technically, if the voodoo was working, 235 00:10:43,758 --> 00:10:45,659 then Real Bob would be missing, too. 236 00:10:45,760 --> 00:10:47,626 Bob's not missing. 237 00:10:47,729 --> 00:10:50,597 Though he never did call me back. 238 00:10:50,699 --> 00:10:53,863 Oh, no. Five texts from Bob's brother. 239 00:10:54,536 --> 00:10:57,438 - Bob's gone missing. - Oh! 240 00:11:00,274 --> 00:11:04,507 He went maple tree tapping in the woods and hasn't come back. 241 00:11:04,612 --> 00:11:07,946 They found his little bucket, but no Bob. 242 00:11:09,317 --> 00:11:10,341 Oh, God. 243 00:11:10,451 --> 00:11:11,851 What if the voodoo is real? 244 00:11:11,953 --> 00:11:13,193 I've got to get that doll back. 245 00:11:13,221 --> 00:11:15,656 Melanie, what kids' charity did you give it to? 246 00:11:15,756 --> 00:11:17,987 I-I kind of threw it in the trash. 247 00:11:18,092 --> 00:11:20,061 What? How could you? 248 00:11:20,161 --> 00:11:22,161 You said you were gonna give it to a kids' charity. 249 00:11:22,230 --> 00:11:23,493 I lied. 250 00:11:23,598 --> 00:11:26,830 Who wants a doll that looks like a lumpy middle-aged man? 251 00:11:29,437 --> 00:11:30,803 They still haven't found Bob. 252 00:11:30,905 --> 00:11:32,840 We have got to find that doll. 253 00:11:32,940 --> 00:11:34,465 But they picked up the trash today. 254 00:11:34,575 --> 00:11:35,575 It could be anywhere. 255 00:11:35,610 --> 00:11:37,101 I'll find it. 256 00:11:37,211 --> 00:11:38,338 I'm the mayor. 257 00:11:38,446 --> 00:11:41,848 I'm the boss of every garbage truck in Cleveland. 258 00:11:41,949 --> 00:11:43,577 Wow. That's right. 259 00:11:43,684 --> 00:11:46,779 You spend so much time hanging around here with us, drinking, 260 00:11:46,888 --> 00:11:50,017 I forget you're the mayor of a major metropolitan city. 261 00:11:50,124 --> 00:11:53,526 I don't put in a full day. 262 00:11:54,128 --> 00:11:56,495 That's what makes me relatable. 263 00:11:56,597 --> 00:11:59,032 Let's make some calls. 264 00:12:05,339 --> 00:12:07,001 Ari. Is something wrong? 265 00:12:07,108 --> 00:12:11,102 No, I just wanted to ask you how the play was going. 266 00:12:11,212 --> 00:12:13,340 Oh, great. 267 00:12:13,447 --> 00:12:16,815 No, I think they really like the choices I'm making. 268 00:12:16,918 --> 00:12:19,854 That's one way of looking at it. 269 00:12:20,521 --> 00:12:24,856 The other way is, they hate all the choices you're making. 270 00:12:24,959 --> 00:12:27,292 That's actually the way to look at it. 271 00:12:29,497 --> 00:12:32,524 This HBO thing really threw me. 272 00:12:32,633 --> 00:12:34,864 My instincts are gone. 273 00:12:34,969 --> 00:12:36,437 I don't think I can do this play. 274 00:12:36,537 --> 00:12:38,267 Just tell them I'm sick or something. 275 00:12:38,372 --> 00:12:40,068 All right, I'll tell them. 276 00:12:40,174 --> 00:12:41,574 That's my job. 277 00:12:41,676 --> 00:12:44,510 I got to get out of this business. 278 00:12:44,612 --> 00:12:47,275 Hello, young handsome fellow. 279 00:12:47,381 --> 00:12:50,374 Got representation? 280 00:12:50,484 --> 00:12:53,420 I'm back in the business. 281 00:12:53,521 --> 00:12:56,787 - Hey, you do look very handsome. - No, I don't. 282 00:12:56,891 --> 00:12:59,451 I put on like 5 pounds in two days. 283 00:12:59,560 --> 00:13:01,256 Nothing fits. Nothing looks good. 284 00:13:04,599 --> 00:13:06,363 I'm such a cow. 285 00:13:08,236 --> 00:13:10,034 Victoria? 286 00:13:10,137 --> 00:13:11,366 What's wrong? 287 00:13:11,472 --> 00:13:13,065 Nothing. 288 00:13:13,174 --> 00:13:15,405 It doesn't sound like nothing. 289 00:13:15,509 --> 00:13:18,445 Oh, I-I just quit my play. 290 00:13:20,047 --> 00:13:21,606 - Tell me everything. - Well, I... 291 00:13:21,716 --> 00:13:23,582 But I made reservations at Dante's. 292 00:13:23,684 --> 00:13:26,449 Reservations can be changed, sweetheart. 293 00:13:26,554 --> 00:13:27,783 Victoria's upset. 294 00:13:27,888 --> 00:13:29,254 Oh, no. No, no. 295 00:13:29,357 --> 00:13:31,724 I don't want to spoil your evening. I... 296 00:13:31,826 --> 00:13:35,422 Victoria, we both just lost jobs, 297 00:13:35,529 --> 00:13:38,124 but that doesn't define who we are. 298 00:13:38,933 --> 00:13:40,026 Here's what you do. 299 00:13:40,134 --> 00:13:43,866 You draw yourself a bath, pour yourself a glass of wine, 300 00:13:43,971 --> 00:13:46,805 and make a list of everything you love about yourself. 301 00:13:47,842 --> 00:13:51,074 I did it earlier today, and it really works. 302 00:13:53,648 --> 00:13:55,241 Thank you, Dane. 303 00:13:55,349 --> 00:13:56,783 Oh, Dane. 304 00:13:56,884 --> 00:14:00,343 Honey, you are so sweet. 305 00:14:00,454 --> 00:14:01,454 Listen, I got an idea. 306 00:14:01,489 --> 00:14:04,516 How about we skip dinner and, you know, um, fool around? 307 00:14:04,625 --> 00:14:06,287 What? 308 00:14:06,394 --> 00:14:10,422 How could you even think about sex when Victoria is so upset? 309 00:14:13,134 --> 00:14:14,227 Okay. Okay, fine. 310 00:14:14,335 --> 00:14:16,304 Then we'll just... We'll cuddle. 311 00:14:16,404 --> 00:14:18,202 We'll just see what happens. 312 00:14:18,306 --> 00:14:20,935 Nothing will happen. 313 00:14:22,143 --> 00:14:23,143 Okay, that's it. 314 00:14:23,177 --> 00:14:24,521 Dane, I have something to tell you. 315 00:14:24,545 --> 00:14:25,808 Those nicotine patches? 316 00:14:25,913 --> 00:14:27,313 They're not really nicotine. 317 00:14:27,415 --> 00:14:28,747 They're estrogen. 318 00:14:29,784 --> 00:14:32,276 What? How could you?! 319 00:14:32,386 --> 00:14:33,426 Oh, honey, don't be upset. 320 00:14:33,487 --> 00:14:36,013 Don't tell me how to feel! 321 00:14:36,123 --> 00:14:37,716 Please don't be angry. 322 00:14:37,825 --> 00:14:39,623 I'm not angry. 323 00:14:39,727 --> 00:14:41,286 I'm just... 324 00:14:41,829 --> 00:14:43,593 I'm just hurt. 325 00:14:43,698 --> 00:14:45,462 Well, can I call you? 326 00:14:45,566 --> 00:14:47,626 Don't call me. 327 00:14:47,735 --> 00:14:50,000 Don't text me. It's over. 328 00:14:51,572 --> 00:14:54,974 And don't watch me while I'm walking out the door. 329 00:14:55,076 --> 00:14:57,170 My ass is huge. 330 00:15:08,622 --> 00:15:11,148 Thanks again for helping me search for the Bob doll. 331 00:15:11,258 --> 00:15:13,058 They've sent the Mounties out looking for Bob, 332 00:15:13,126 --> 00:15:14,594 but so far, nothing. 333 00:15:14,695 --> 00:15:16,357 Joy, I'm so sorry. 334 00:15:16,463 --> 00:15:17,795 Don't worry. We'll find it. 335 00:15:17,898 --> 00:15:20,629 By the science of voodoo, when we find Little Bob, 336 00:15:20,734 --> 00:15:23,169 Big Bob will show up. 337 00:15:23,270 --> 00:15:25,865 Are you sure this is the quadrant our trash is in? 338 00:15:25,973 --> 00:15:27,703 Oh, it's ours. 339 00:15:27,808 --> 00:15:30,141 Look at all the wine bottles. 340 00:15:30,777 --> 00:15:32,871 Hey. 341 00:15:34,381 --> 00:15:35,974 My gold lamé shorts. 342 00:15:36,083 --> 00:15:37,312 How did these get in here? 343 00:15:37,417 --> 00:15:39,648 Yes. How? 344 00:15:43,457 --> 00:15:46,552 Hey, Elka, this looks just like the bowl I made for you 345 00:15:46,660 --> 00:15:48,151 from that ceramics class I took. 346 00:15:48,262 --> 00:15:49,696 Does it? 347 00:15:49,796 --> 00:15:52,630 There are two of those beauties? 348 00:15:55,736 --> 00:15:58,672 Oh. Oh, look at this. 349 00:15:58,772 --> 00:16:00,570 A coffee pot. 350 00:16:00,674 --> 00:16:02,905 It's just like the one I used in the play. 351 00:16:03,010 --> 00:16:05,741 Oh, God, I really made a mess of that. 352 00:16:05,846 --> 00:16:07,815 I quit, and then I lied about quitting, 353 00:16:07,915 --> 00:16:09,941 and now I'm that person. 354 00:16:10,050 --> 00:16:12,747 Victoria, you lie all the time. 355 00:16:12,853 --> 00:16:15,846 And usually it makes me feel good, but not this time. 356 00:16:17,424 --> 00:16:19,518 That director was so nice. 357 00:16:19,626 --> 00:16:20,958 He deserves to know the truth. 358 00:16:21,061 --> 00:16:22,996 I don't want to be an awful person. 359 00:16:23,096 --> 00:16:24,962 Well, I am an awful person. 360 00:16:25,065 --> 00:16:26,931 Why am I trying to turn Dane into a woman? 361 00:16:27,034 --> 00:16:28,366 I don't need another girlfriend. 362 00:16:28,468 --> 00:16:30,232 I have you guys to notice my new bag 363 00:16:30,337 --> 00:16:32,363 or ask me how I'm feeling. 364 00:16:32,472 --> 00:16:34,703 I need to get laid. 365 00:16:37,377 --> 00:16:38,436 Oh, my God, look. 366 00:16:38,545 --> 00:16:40,707 It's Little Bob. 367 00:16:40,814 --> 00:16:43,511 George Clooney found Little Bob. 368 00:16:43,617 --> 00:16:45,882 Good boy! 369 00:16:45,986 --> 00:16:47,511 Thank you, George Clooney. 370 00:16:47,621 --> 00:16:49,715 Oh, come on. Come on. 371 00:16:49,823 --> 00:16:51,416 Oh, please make voodoo work. 372 00:16:51,525 --> 00:16:53,289 Please make voodoo work. 373 00:16:53,393 --> 00:16:54,861 Nothing. 374 00:16:54,962 --> 00:16:56,794 Why did I think this would work? 375 00:16:56,897 --> 00:16:58,593 What if Bob's hurt? 376 00:16:58,699 --> 00:17:00,099 What if he's stuck between two rocks 377 00:17:00,167 --> 00:17:02,159 and has to eat his own arm off? 378 00:17:03,537 --> 00:17:05,529 It's only been a few hours. 379 00:17:05,639 --> 00:17:07,870 He gets really hungry. 380 00:17:08,976 --> 00:17:11,536 Wait. I have no bars. 381 00:17:11,645 --> 00:17:13,614 What if they're trying to reach me? 382 00:17:13,714 --> 00:17:15,910 What can I do to get a better signal? 383 00:17:16,016 --> 00:17:18,815 Well, once, I was up for a television pilot. 384 00:17:18,919 --> 00:17:22,651 It was a female MacGyver called "Lady MacGyver." 385 00:17:22,756 --> 00:17:24,281 It was down to Markie Post and me. 386 00:17:24,391 --> 00:17:25,654 Get to the point. 387 00:17:25,759 --> 00:17:27,785 Markie got it. 388 00:17:27,894 --> 00:17:29,726 No, you idiot. The signal. 389 00:17:29,830 --> 00:17:33,631 Oh, first, we have to attach the phone to a rod 390 00:17:33,734 --> 00:17:36,294 and then find a metallic conductor, 391 00:17:36,403 --> 00:17:38,099 preferably something with gold filaments. 392 00:17:38,205 --> 00:17:40,436 - My shorts. - Oh. 393 00:17:47,514 --> 00:17:49,710 I got a message. 394 00:17:49,816 --> 00:17:51,148 Bob's okay. 395 00:17:51,251 --> 00:17:53,743 He was found by rescue dogs. Yay. 396 00:17:54,788 --> 00:17:57,019 Oh, Bob. 397 00:17:57,124 --> 00:17:58,592 Wait a minute. 398 00:17:58,692 --> 00:18:00,524 There's something pinned to his heart. 399 00:18:01,194 --> 00:18:03,288 It's a necklace. 400 00:18:03,397 --> 00:18:05,389 So that's what the note meant. 401 00:18:05,499 --> 00:18:08,435 "Never has a heart been as full as mine." 402 00:18:08,535 --> 00:18:09,935 It is beautiful. 403 00:18:10,037 --> 00:18:11,300 I know. 404 00:18:11,405 --> 00:18:14,034 Not that I care about such things. 405 00:18:14,141 --> 00:18:17,441 The important thing is, Bob is safe. 406 00:18:17,544 --> 00:18:19,638 Diamonds! 407 00:18:23,116 --> 00:18:25,142 So, that's why I quit. 408 00:18:25,251 --> 00:18:26,685 It wasn't because I was sick. 409 00:18:26,786 --> 00:18:29,449 It... It was because I was scared. 410 00:18:29,556 --> 00:18:31,650 I can't believe you were scared. 411 00:18:31,758 --> 00:18:35,024 I was scared to work with you, the great Victoria Chase. 412 00:18:35,128 --> 00:18:38,189 Don't be fooled by all my awards. 413 00:18:38,298 --> 00:18:39,630 I'm not even talking about that. 414 00:18:39,732 --> 00:18:42,395 Why not? I won a damn Oscar. 415 00:18:43,536 --> 00:18:47,337 A long time ago, we were in acting class together. 416 00:18:49,208 --> 00:18:50,437 - Oh, right. You... - Yeah. 417 00:18:50,543 --> 00:18:53,035 Don't even pretend to remember me. 418 00:18:53,146 --> 00:18:55,172 I sat in the back, and I never said anything, 419 00:18:55,281 --> 00:18:56,510 but I watched you. 420 00:18:56,616 --> 00:18:58,642 Victoria, you were fearless. 421 00:18:58,751 --> 00:19:00,811 I was, wasn't I? 422 00:19:00,920 --> 00:19:03,287 But I was young and stupid with nothing to lose. 423 00:19:03,389 --> 00:19:04,618 What do you have to lose now? 424 00:19:04,724 --> 00:19:07,956 Everything. I am an Oscar winner. 425 00:19:08,061 --> 00:19:09,859 Well, you can't lose that. 426 00:19:09,963 --> 00:19:12,592 If a meteor fell on us right now, the headline would read, 427 00:19:12,699 --> 00:19:15,965 "Oscar Winner Victoria Chase Killed in Fiery Explosion." 428 00:19:16,069 --> 00:19:19,039 Oh, I do like the sound of that. 429 00:19:19,606 --> 00:19:21,632 It wouldn't say, "Victoria Chase, 430 00:19:21,741 --> 00:19:24,301 Who Got Cut from Some Dopey HBO Show." 431 00:19:24,410 --> 00:19:26,845 No, you're right. That show was dopey. 432 00:19:26,946 --> 00:19:29,506 I mean, why am I letting that get me down? 433 00:19:29,616 --> 00:19:33,212 I want to be that actress that you remember from back then. 434 00:19:33,319 --> 00:19:35,879 Yeah, stupid and fearless. 435 00:19:35,989 --> 00:19:38,083 All right, you just give me another chance, 436 00:19:38,191 --> 00:19:41,525 and I think I could be that stupid again. 437 00:19:42,595 --> 00:19:44,393 I know you can. 438 00:19:51,137 --> 00:19:52,298 Dane. 439 00:19:52,405 --> 00:19:54,101 Hi. What are you doing here? 440 00:19:54,207 --> 00:19:56,642 I came here because you're here. 441 00:19:56,743 --> 00:19:59,508 But you broke up with me three days ago. 442 00:20:00,246 --> 00:20:02,238 Why was that, again? 443 00:20:03,149 --> 00:20:04,660 Because I drugged you with female hormones 444 00:20:04,684 --> 00:20:06,653 and then lied about it. 445 00:20:08,154 --> 00:20:09,679 Stuff happens. 446 00:20:10,823 --> 00:20:12,724 Don't worry... It's out of my system now. 447 00:20:12,825 --> 00:20:16,159 Well, great. Great. 448 00:20:16,262 --> 00:20:17,821 Listen, I-I know I did wrong, 449 00:20:17,930 --> 00:20:19,174 and we really should talk about it, 450 00:20:19,198 --> 00:20:22,930 because if you can't have trust in a relationship and I... 451 00:20:23,036 --> 00:20:24,766 - Oh, my God. - What? 452 00:20:24,871 --> 00:20:26,151 You weren't even listening to me. 453 00:20:26,239 --> 00:20:27,730 You were staring at my chest. 454 00:20:27,840 --> 00:20:28,864 You're back! 455 00:20:32,478 --> 00:20:33,537 # Hey! # 456 00:20:37,617 --> 00:20:39,950 # Ba-ba, ba-ba # 457 00:20:40,019 --> 00:20:42,488 # Ba-ba, ba-ba # 458 00:20:42,588 --> 00:20:47,117 # Ah, ah, ah # 459 00:20:47,226 --> 00:20:49,559 # Ba-ba, ba-ba # 460 00:20:49,629 --> 00:20:51,894 # Ba-ba, ba-ba # 461 00:20:51,998 --> 00:20:56,527 # Ah, ah, ah # 462 00:20:59,872 --> 00:21:01,465 # Hey! # 32521