Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:02,034 --> 00:00:04,265
Previously on
"Hot In Cleveland"...
2
00:00:04,337 --> 00:00:07,171
There's no reason
we can't be nice to each other
3
00:00:07,240 --> 00:00:09,141
for one night, Mr. Mayor.
4
00:00:09,208 --> 00:00:11,700
No reason at all, Councilwoman.
5
00:00:11,777 --> 00:00:12,710
So...
6
00:00:12,778 --> 00:00:15,009
I slept with the mayor.
7
00:00:15,581 --> 00:00:17,550
Joy, Joy.
Joy, Joy.
8
00:00:17,617 --> 00:00:19,882
- Joy.
- Joy.
9
00:00:19,952 --> 00:00:22,046
I know you want him,
but he's mine.
10
00:00:22,121 --> 00:00:24,352
You make one move on him,
and I'll chop you up
11
00:00:24,423 --> 00:00:25,789
and feed you to my sled dogs.
12
00:00:28,361 --> 00:00:31,854
- To Joy and Bob.
- To Joy and Bob.
13
00:00:31,931 --> 00:00:33,422
Without them,
instead of toasting,
14
00:00:33,499 --> 00:00:36,230
we'd just be drinking
at 2:00 in the afternoon.
15
00:00:37,136 --> 00:00:39,128
It was just so romantic.
16
00:00:39,205 --> 00:00:42,642
Right now, Joy is telling Bob
that she loves him.
17
00:00:42,708 --> 00:00:44,734
You know, I know he has
a great personality,
18
00:00:44,810 --> 00:00:47,439
but I cannot imagine
what kind of woman
19
00:00:47,513 --> 00:00:49,846
would ever want
to sleep with Bob.
20
00:00:53,886 --> 00:00:55,878
Hmm.
21
00:00:56,622 --> 00:00:59,387
You do remember
that I slept with Bob?
22
00:00:59,926 --> 00:01:01,189
Oh, that's right.
23
00:01:01,260 --> 00:01:03,820
Well, good for you.
24
00:01:03,896 --> 00:01:05,558
He's super-sexy.
25
00:01:08,534 --> 00:01:09,534
Oh, my God.
26
00:01:09,602 --> 00:01:11,867
What is that sound?
27
00:01:12,939 --> 00:01:15,067
Oh, my God, it's a drone.
28
00:01:15,141 --> 00:01:16,151
Why would we have a drone?
29
00:01:16,175 --> 00:01:17,803
No, not we, Melanie.
Me.
30
00:01:17,877 --> 00:01:19,038
There's a camera attached.
31
00:01:19,111 --> 00:01:21,103
That's because
it's a paparazzi drone.
32
00:01:21,180 --> 00:01:23,411
All the biggest stars
have drones hounding them.
33
00:01:23,482 --> 00:01:24,848
And, of course, they hate them.
34
00:01:24,917 --> 00:01:26,385
And I hate mine!
35
00:01:27,053 --> 00:01:29,045
Actually, I love mine.
36
00:01:29,121 --> 00:01:31,886
Oh, no.
Where's it going?
37
00:01:31,958 --> 00:01:34,018
Did I come on too strong?
38
00:01:34,093 --> 00:01:35,686
Does he think I'm not pretty?
39
00:01:36,495 --> 00:01:39,795
Maybe he took my picture
and it's already on TMZ.
40
00:01:39,865 --> 00:01:41,527
Let's go check.
41
00:01:43,169 --> 00:01:44,728
Oh, hey, Elka.
What's up?
42
00:01:44,804 --> 00:01:46,534
I'm breaking up with the mayor.
43
00:01:46,606 --> 00:01:48,074
Aw. Why?
44
00:01:48,140 --> 00:01:53,306
Every time we make love,
he asks me if I'm satisfied.
45
00:01:55,881 --> 00:01:58,680
It's hard to respect that.
46
00:02:00,052 --> 00:02:03,113
So, then,
you've started the dance?
47
00:02:03,189 --> 00:02:05,818
- What's the dance?
- Oh, Elka's five-step process
48
00:02:05,891 --> 00:02:07,484
to a successful breakup.
49
00:02:07,560 --> 00:02:11,224
Breakup, make-up sex,
steak dinner, goodbye sex,
50
00:02:11,297 --> 00:02:12,731
and break up for real.
51
00:02:12,798 --> 00:02:13,822
So, what step are you on?
52
00:02:19,972 --> 00:02:23,204
Well, there's not
a single photo of me on TMZ,
53
00:02:23,275 --> 00:02:25,676
Radar Online, or PopSugar.
54
00:02:25,745 --> 00:02:28,772
There are hundreds of drone
shots of other celebrities.
55
00:02:28,848 --> 00:02:31,079
- Rihanna...
- Oh, wait. Who is she with?
56
00:02:31,150 --> 00:02:32,277
Her bodyguard.
57
00:02:32,351 --> 00:02:34,786
Oh, and there's Victoria Beckham
with her bodyguard,
58
00:02:34,854 --> 00:02:37,483
and Bruce Jenner
with her bodyguard.
59
00:02:40,726 --> 00:02:41,726
Oh, my God!
60
00:02:41,761 --> 00:02:43,923
That's what I need...
A bodyguard.
61
00:02:43,996 --> 00:02:46,898
Hey, Bob's brother Claude...
He works as a bodyguard.
62
00:02:46,966 --> 00:02:48,628
I'll text him.
63
00:02:49,902 --> 00:02:52,133
Hey, Joy!
How did it go?
64
00:02:52,204 --> 00:02:53,331
Horrible.
65
00:02:53,406 --> 00:02:55,136
Well, did you tell Bob
you loved him?
66
00:02:55,207 --> 00:02:56,140
I couldn't.
67
00:02:56,208 --> 00:02:58,439
When I got there,
he was with another woman.
68
00:02:58,511 --> 00:03:00,946
He's already moved on.
I blew it.
69
00:03:01,013 --> 00:03:02,013
Who is she?
70
00:03:02,048 --> 00:03:03,812
His old girlfriend
from Canada...
71
00:03:03,883 --> 00:03:05,977
who's a mean,
scheming gold digger.
72
00:03:06,052 --> 00:03:08,283
Bob has gold?
73
00:03:09,722 --> 00:03:11,122
He's loaded.
74
00:03:11,190 --> 00:03:15,389
According to her, his family are
like the Kennedys of Saskatoon.
75
00:03:15,461 --> 00:03:18,954
Remember how we grew up dreaming
about marrying John John?
76
00:03:19,031 --> 00:03:21,466
They grew up dreaming
about marrying Bob Bob.
77
00:03:23,969 --> 00:03:26,063
She also said
he's amazing in bed.
78
00:03:26,138 --> 00:03:27,800
Melanie, is that true?
79
00:03:29,442 --> 00:03:31,638
- Do you really want the answer?
- Yes.
80
00:03:31,711 --> 00:03:33,077
He was fantastic.
81
00:03:33,145 --> 00:03:35,671
I don't need to hear that,
Melanie!
82
00:03:35,748 --> 00:03:37,410
What are you gonna do?
83
00:03:37,483 --> 00:03:38,781
I don't know.
84
00:03:38,851 --> 00:03:41,252
I wanted to warn Bob
about how awful she is,
85
00:03:41,320 --> 00:03:42,982
but I knew
he wouldn't believe me.
86
00:03:43,055 --> 00:03:47,049
She's always sweet when he's
around, the devious bitch.
87
00:03:47,126 --> 00:03:49,595
Oh, but, sweetie,
you're a devious bitch, too.
88
00:03:49,662 --> 00:03:52,154
Surely you can outmaneuver her.
89
00:03:52,231 --> 00:03:54,427
Yeah, don't take it lying down.
90
00:03:54,500 --> 00:03:56,469
For once.
91
00:03:59,672 --> 00:04:00,935
You're right.
92
00:04:01,006 --> 00:04:04,773
I'm gonna go behind her back
and tell Bob how I feel.
93
00:04:04,844 --> 00:04:07,643
I'm gonna fight
for the man I love.
94
00:04:08,647 --> 00:04:10,309
Well.
95
00:04:10,382 --> 00:04:13,284
It's time for some
goodbye sex with the mayor.
96
00:04:16,355 --> 00:04:19,951
But... I don't understand
why you didn't just end it
97
00:04:20,025 --> 00:04:21,391
after the steak dinner.
98
00:04:21,460 --> 00:04:25,227
The man sprung for a $40 fillet.
99
00:04:26,732 --> 00:04:27,943
So you have to sleep
with someone
100
00:04:27,967 --> 00:04:29,868
because they bought you
a $40 piece of meat?
101
00:04:29,935 --> 00:04:32,803
I'm a lady.
102
00:04:37,643 --> 00:04:40,272
Oh! Claude says
he'd love to be your bodyguard.
103
00:04:40,346 --> 00:04:42,247
He'll be right here.
104
00:04:42,314 --> 00:04:44,579
Claude says he's on the porch.
105
00:04:45,651 --> 00:04:48,621
Oh, Claude says he's about
to ring the doorbell.
106
00:04:50,623 --> 00:04:52,888
Claude says
he can't find the doorbell.
107
00:05:00,332 --> 00:05:02,892
I remember Claude.
He's an idiot.
108
00:05:02,968 --> 00:05:05,301
Come on, he'll be
a fine bodyguard. He's big.
109
00:05:05,371 --> 00:05:07,670
Big guys are always
scary and intimidating.
110
00:05:12,344 --> 00:05:15,109
I'm here to protect you,
Victoria.
111
00:05:21,520 --> 00:05:23,648
# Ba-ba, ba-ba #
112
00:05:23,722 --> 00:05:26,954
# Ba-ba, ba-ba #
113
00:05:27,026 --> 00:05:27,618
# Hey! #
114
00:05:27,693 --> 00:05:28,922
Claude, what's the matter?
115
00:05:28,994 --> 00:05:31,429
I lost the woman I love.
116
00:05:31,497 --> 00:05:35,093
I am an empty shell of a man.
117
00:05:35,167 --> 00:05:37,568
Perfect.
That's all I need.
118
00:05:38,270 --> 00:05:39,829
Okay.
119
00:05:39,905 --> 00:05:42,636
What exactly
am I protecting you from?
120
00:05:42,708 --> 00:05:45,109
I just need you to look
tough and menacing.
121
00:05:45,177 --> 00:05:46,304
- Mm-hmm.
- So it seems
122
00:05:46,378 --> 00:05:47,818
- like I'm being threatened.
- Right.
123
00:05:47,847 --> 00:05:50,476
So, you can pretend to shield me
from the TMZ drone
124
00:05:50,549 --> 00:05:51,960
- so it'll take pictures of me...
- Right.
125
00:05:51,984 --> 00:05:53,028
And get me into the tabloids
126
00:05:53,052 --> 00:05:54,396
so it will keep me
in the public eye.
127
00:05:54,420 --> 00:05:55,854
Mm-hmm.
128
00:05:55,921 --> 00:05:58,789
Is it okay
if I don't understand?
129
00:06:02,061 --> 00:06:05,327
Bob.
I'm so glad you're here.
130
00:06:05,998 --> 00:06:09,696
- Are you okay?
- Yeah, I-I think so.
131
00:06:09,768 --> 00:06:13,000
- What happened?
- Joy's pregnant.
132
00:06:14,273 --> 00:06:17,573
I just found out
I'm gonna be a dad.
133
00:06:18,978 --> 00:06:21,573
- Joy is pregnant?
- Canadian Joy.
134
00:06:21,647 --> 00:06:23,411
I know that.
135
00:06:25,651 --> 00:06:28,587
But you were just in Canada
last week.
136
00:06:28,654 --> 00:06:32,022
Uh, actually, it happened
a couple of months ago.
137
00:06:32,091 --> 00:06:35,528
Remember that time I was hitting
on you in a really annoying way?
138
00:06:35,594 --> 00:06:36,653
Which time?
139
00:06:36,729 --> 00:06:38,960
The time you told me
that it was never gonna happen
140
00:06:39,031 --> 00:06:40,693
between us
and I should just go get laid.
141
00:06:40,766 --> 00:06:43,531
Again, which time?
142
00:06:43,602 --> 00:06:45,366
Well, I took your advice.
143
00:06:45,437 --> 00:06:47,372
And I tried to find
a sex partner in the States,
144
00:06:47,439 --> 00:06:49,738
but that was a no-go.
145
00:06:49,808 --> 00:06:52,073
So I headed north
to my fallback girl
146
00:06:52,144 --> 00:06:55,080
and... back she fell.
147
00:06:57,182 --> 00:06:59,447
I'm sure you'll be
a wonderful father.
148
00:06:59,518 --> 00:07:01,384
Well, I'm gonna do my duty, Joy.
149
00:07:01,453 --> 00:07:04,287
I'm gonna get married
as soon as possible, but...
150
00:07:04,356 --> 00:07:06,825
this whole thing isn't
what I had pictured for myself.
151
00:07:06,892 --> 00:07:08,827
Oh?
152
00:07:08,894 --> 00:07:10,863
What did you picture
for yourself?
153
00:07:10,930 --> 00:07:12,023
Well...
154
00:07:13,933 --> 00:07:17,426
Sweetheart, I made copies
of our sonogram.
155
00:07:17,503 --> 00:07:19,768
One for my mom,
one for your desk, darling,
156
00:07:19,838 --> 00:07:22,603
and here's an extra one
for you, Joy.
157
00:07:22,675 --> 00:07:24,940
Oh.
Thank you.
158
00:07:25,010 --> 00:07:26,273
Your baby's beautiful.
159
00:07:26,345 --> 00:07:29,213
Of course he is.
Just like his dad.
160
00:07:29,281 --> 00:07:31,580
Listen, Joy,
I wanted to apologize.
161
00:07:31,650 --> 00:07:34,643
I may have been a little
hormonal when we spoke earlier.
162
00:07:34,720 --> 00:07:37,019
Hormonal.
Of course.
163
00:07:37,089 --> 00:07:39,285
Apology accepted.
164
00:07:40,392 --> 00:07:42,486
Well, good luck.
165
00:07:42,561 --> 00:07:43,585
To both of you.
166
00:07:43,662 --> 00:07:45,324
To all three of us...
167
00:07:45,397 --> 00:07:48,993
Me, Bob Bob, and Bob Bob Bob.
168
00:07:59,445 --> 00:08:00,777
Hey, Elka.
169
00:08:00,846 --> 00:08:02,405
I have some news.
170
00:08:02,481 --> 00:08:03,847
This is a disaster.
171
00:08:03,916 --> 00:08:06,317
That sad-sack bodyguard
has been with me all day,
172
00:08:06,385 --> 00:08:08,081
and no paparazzi.
173
00:08:08,153 --> 00:08:09,177
Ugh.
174
00:08:09,254 --> 00:08:11,223
The only drone
was his voice in my ear,
175
00:08:11,290 --> 00:08:14,192
whining about the girl
who got away.
176
00:08:14,927 --> 00:08:16,293
I have some news.
177
00:08:16,362 --> 00:08:17,489
It's over.
178
00:08:17,563 --> 00:08:19,464
Canadian Joy is pregnant.
179
00:08:19,531 --> 00:08:20,692
- What?
- Oh.
180
00:08:20,766 --> 00:08:22,860
And here's the sonogram
to prove it.
181
00:08:22,935 --> 00:08:24,665
Wait a minute.
182
00:08:24,737 --> 00:08:25,864
This isn't Bob's baby.
183
00:08:25,938 --> 00:08:28,032
This is Shiloh Pitt.
184
00:08:29,508 --> 00:08:30,703
What?
185
00:08:30,776 --> 00:08:32,540
How could you possibly
know that?
186
00:08:32,611 --> 00:08:33,544
Well, because.
187
00:08:33,612 --> 00:08:35,012
It's the most famous sonogram
188
00:08:35,080 --> 00:08:37,174
ever to be posted
on the Internet.
189
00:08:37,249 --> 00:08:39,878
I'd recognize Brad
and Angelina's beautiful fetus
190
00:08:39,952 --> 00:08:42,820
before I'd recognize my own.
191
00:08:42,888 --> 00:08:44,049
Oh, my God.
192
00:08:44,123 --> 00:08:46,752
This means Canadian Joy
isn't really pregnant.
193
00:08:46,825 --> 00:08:49,454
- I'm calling Bob.
- I have some news.
194
00:08:49,528 --> 00:08:50,996
Ugh!
Voicemail.
195
00:08:51,063 --> 00:08:54,192
Bob?
You can't marry Canadian Joy.
196
00:08:54,266 --> 00:08:57,031
Meet me alone at the office,
and I'll explain.
197
00:08:57,102 --> 00:08:59,333
Sorry. Elka, you wanted
to say something?
198
00:08:59,405 --> 00:09:01,931
The mayor is dead...
199
00:09:02,007 --> 00:09:04,238
in my bed.
200
00:09:05,144 --> 00:09:06,874
The mayor is dead?!
201
00:09:06,945 --> 00:09:09,744
In my bed!
202
00:09:15,053 --> 00:09:17,488
Oh, my God.
The mayor is dead?
203
00:09:17,556 --> 00:09:18,556
What happened?
204
00:09:18,590 --> 00:09:21,389
You really want details?
205
00:09:23,929 --> 00:09:26,398
He was trying to impress me...
206
00:09:26,464 --> 00:09:29,457
with how many push-ups
he could do...
207
00:09:29,534 --> 00:09:31,469
on top of me.
208
00:09:34,673 --> 00:09:36,665
All right,
so... so, what are we gonna do?
209
00:09:36,741 --> 00:09:38,437
Call the police, the hospital,
the coroner?
210
00:09:38,510 --> 00:09:39,569
No calls.
211
00:09:39,644 --> 00:09:41,579
I don't want this
to ruin his legacy.
212
00:09:41,646 --> 00:09:42,579
Elka's right.
213
00:09:42,647 --> 00:09:44,809
Every time
someone famous dies having sex,
214
00:09:44,883 --> 00:09:46,394
that's the first thing
people think about
215
00:09:46,418 --> 00:09:47,784
when their name is mentioned.
216
00:09:47,852 --> 00:09:49,753
Then what do we do
with the body?
217
00:09:49,821 --> 00:09:52,689
Exactly what we did
with the governor's body
218
00:09:52,757 --> 00:09:54,453
in my Lifetime original movie,
219
00:09:54,526 --> 00:09:57,155
"What Do We Do
with the Governor's Body?"
220
00:10:03,134 --> 00:10:06,434
Uh, say we didn't get around
to seeing that particular movie?
221
00:10:06,504 --> 00:10:08,268
Oh, fine.
222
00:10:08,340 --> 00:10:11,970
All right, we sneak the mayor's
body back into his mansion,
223
00:10:12,043 --> 00:10:14,808
put him back in his own bed,
and then everyone thinks
224
00:10:14,879 --> 00:10:16,643
he died peacefully in his sleep.
225
00:10:17,949 --> 00:10:18,882
It's Bob.
226
00:10:18,950 --> 00:10:20,394
He's heading to the office
to meet me.
227
00:10:20,418 --> 00:10:22,319
I've got to go.
Good luck to us all.
228
00:10:22,387 --> 00:10:24,720
- You too, honey.
- Yeah.
229
00:10:24,789 --> 00:10:27,918
Okay, so,
how do we move the mayor?
230
00:10:27,993 --> 00:10:29,552
I never thought
I would say this,
231
00:10:29,628 --> 00:10:31,927
but Claude might be helpful.
232
00:10:31,997 --> 00:10:33,363
No, that's true.
233
00:10:33,431 --> 00:10:35,491
He just can't know
what he's moving.
234
00:10:35,567 --> 00:10:37,433
We have to hide
the body in something.
235
00:10:37,502 --> 00:10:38,902
I know!
236
00:10:38,970 --> 00:10:41,599
We can hide him in a rug
like they did the first season
237
00:10:41,673 --> 00:10:42,936
of "Downton Abbey."
238
00:10:43,008 --> 00:10:44,840
Yes, yes.
Perfect.
239
00:10:44,909 --> 00:10:47,276
Oh, so that, you watch.
240
00:10:52,217 --> 00:10:54,812
Okay, come on.
The coast is clear.
241
00:10:57,322 --> 00:11:00,486
Why are we sneaking this rug
out of your house?
242
00:11:01,259 --> 00:11:03,854
It's a prank
we're playing on Joy.
243
00:11:03,928 --> 00:11:05,419
Mm, good one.
244
00:11:07,065 --> 00:11:09,193
This reminds me
of "Downton Abbey."
245
00:11:09,267 --> 00:11:10,997
You know what was in that rug?
246
00:11:11,069 --> 00:11:12,196
A dead body.
247
00:11:14,339 --> 00:11:16,774
People used to do
stuff like that.
248
00:11:16,841 --> 00:11:19,504
Yeah, but that show's
so unbelievable.
249
00:11:24,582 --> 00:11:26,210
There's my shoe!
250
00:11:29,020 --> 00:11:31,649
Oh, look.
My paparazzi drone is back.
251
00:11:31,723 --> 00:11:34,124
Inside.
Back inside!
252
00:11:34,726 --> 00:11:36,991
Stop invading my privacy!
253
00:11:37,062 --> 00:11:38,758
I didn't put on
this gorgeous outfit
254
00:11:38,830 --> 00:11:41,493
and perfect daytime makeup
for you.
255
00:11:44,836 --> 00:11:45,860
Timmy!
256
00:11:45,937 --> 00:11:49,874
Stop bothering our neighbors
with that stupid drone!
257
00:11:49,941 --> 00:11:51,807
Timmy?
258
00:11:52,577 --> 00:11:54,569
Timmy.
259
00:11:55,947 --> 00:11:58,974
Everyone, I have a devastating
announcement to make.
260
00:11:59,050 --> 00:12:00,848
That stupid drone outside
261
00:12:00,919 --> 00:12:02,945
belongs
to that creepy neighbor kid
262
00:12:03,021 --> 00:12:05,616
who came to our house a few
months ago demanding candy.
263
00:12:05,690 --> 00:12:08,091
Victoria, it was Halloween.
264
00:12:09,994 --> 00:12:11,758
Oh.
Hello, Timmy.
265
00:12:11,830 --> 00:12:13,355
Sorry about the drone.
266
00:12:13,431 --> 00:12:15,242
Well, what are you doing
with that thing, anyway?
267
00:12:15,266 --> 00:12:17,826
- And why were you following me?
- And me.
268
00:12:17,902 --> 00:12:20,531
That drone was outside my window
when I got out of my shower.
269
00:12:21,740 --> 00:12:24,539
Oh, my God.
270
00:12:25,110 --> 00:12:26,669
How much did you see?
271
00:12:26,745 --> 00:12:28,577
Both of them.
272
00:12:32,083 --> 00:12:33,847
Go home!
273
00:12:33,918 --> 00:12:37,411
That kid reminds me
of me at that age.
274
00:12:38,089 --> 00:12:39,421
And now.
275
00:12:40,692 --> 00:12:42,336
Claude, why don't you bring
the car around back?
276
00:12:42,360 --> 00:12:43,953
We'll carry the rug out
that way.
277
00:12:44,028 --> 00:12:46,588
Maybe you guys
should get this rug cleaned.
278
00:12:46,664 --> 00:12:49,566
It smells like
something died in it.
279
00:12:52,403 --> 00:12:53,928
So...
280
00:12:54,005 --> 00:12:56,372
no paparazzi drone.
281
00:12:56,441 --> 00:12:59,934
And the one we did have was
spying on Mel, and not on me.
282
00:13:00,011 --> 00:13:02,742
Look, we still have
to get rid of the mayor.
283
00:13:02,814 --> 00:13:06,080
Speaking of, now that he's gone,
who takes his place?
284
00:13:06,151 --> 00:13:09,315
Well, I did meet a cute guy
at the post office.
285
00:13:10,889 --> 00:13:14,189
Oh.
You mean who's mayor now.
286
00:13:15,994 --> 00:13:18,122
Yes.
Who's next in line?
287
00:13:18,196 --> 00:13:19,755
Uh...
288
00:13:19,831 --> 00:13:22,164
president of the city council.
289
00:13:22,233 --> 00:13:24,498
That's me.
290
00:13:24,569 --> 00:13:25,628
Oh!
291
00:13:25,703 --> 00:13:28,798
You're the mayor of Cleveland?
That's so exciting!
292
00:13:28,873 --> 00:13:31,240
But so sad.
293
00:13:31,976 --> 00:13:34,241
I'm the mayor of Cleveland.
294
00:13:34,312 --> 00:13:36,975
- Can you believe it?
- No.
295
00:13:37,048 --> 00:13:39,608
And so tragic.
296
00:13:42,487 --> 00:13:43,487
Bob?
297
00:13:44,589 --> 00:13:46,854
Hello, Joy.
Surprised to see me?
298
00:13:48,993 --> 00:13:51,428
Bob?
You can't marry Canadian Joy.
299
00:13:51,496 --> 00:13:53,988
Meet me alone at the office,
and I'll explain.
300
00:13:54,065 --> 00:13:56,010
I knew you'd try to contact Bob
before the wedding,
301
00:13:56,034 --> 00:13:57,161
so I took his phone.
302
00:13:57,235 --> 00:13:59,966
Well, I'm going to find Bob
and tell him the truth.
303
00:14:00,038 --> 00:14:03,167
Yeah, I can't let you do that.
304
00:14:03,241 --> 00:14:05,437
Just try and stop me.
305
00:14:07,879 --> 00:14:09,006
Fine.
306
00:14:09,080 --> 00:14:10,946
You're faster and stronger
than I thought,
307
00:14:11,015 --> 00:14:13,450
but eventually, someone
will come and let me out.
308
00:14:13,518 --> 00:14:16,249
Yes, but by that time,
Bob and I will be married
309
00:14:16,321 --> 00:14:18,654
and on our honeymoon, where
I will allow no cellphones.
310
00:14:18,723 --> 00:14:21,056
And when we return,
I will be pregnant.
311
00:14:21,125 --> 00:14:22,423
This is crazy.
312
00:14:22,493 --> 00:14:24,155
You're doing all this
for the money?
313
00:14:24,229 --> 00:14:26,789
It's more than that.
314
00:14:26,865 --> 00:14:28,458
When I was a little girl,
315
00:14:28,533 --> 00:14:30,934
my mother worked as a maid
for Bob's family.
316
00:14:31,002 --> 00:14:33,233
I'd follow her around
his big house on the hill
317
00:14:33,304 --> 00:14:34,966
and dream I belonged there.
318
00:14:35,039 --> 00:14:36,905
Bob's family
was always so much fun.
319
00:14:36,975 --> 00:14:38,967
There was always
so much laughter.
320
00:14:39,043 --> 00:14:40,409
I get that.
321
00:14:40,478 --> 00:14:42,344
See?
I'm not so crazy.
322
00:14:42,413 --> 00:14:43,472
I guess you're not.
323
00:14:43,548 --> 00:14:45,915
I have to tape
your mouth shut now.
324
00:14:48,553 --> 00:14:50,044
One more thing.
325
00:14:50,121 --> 00:14:51,214
Ow!
326
00:14:51,289 --> 00:14:53,884
You didn't say anything
about my dress.
327
00:14:53,958 --> 00:14:55,187
You're kidding.
328
00:14:55,260 --> 00:14:59,197
Well, despite what's gone down
here, this is my wedding day.
329
00:15:00,665 --> 00:15:02,657
It's lovely.
Vera Wang?
330
00:15:02,734 --> 00:15:05,431
- She's a genius, right?
- She really is.
331
00:15:05,503 --> 00:15:07,563
When I get married, I want...
332
00:15:14,111 --> 00:15:15,977
Well, thanks for your help.
333
00:15:16,046 --> 00:15:17,708
You can go now.
The job's over.
334
00:15:17,782 --> 00:15:19,683
But I'm so lonely.
335
00:15:19,750 --> 00:15:21,275
Oy.
336
00:15:22,086 --> 00:15:25,386
The woman I love
is getting married right now.
337
00:15:25,456 --> 00:15:27,357
I'm sure that you can
find someone else.
338
00:15:27,425 --> 00:15:30,623
Maybe you just need to lower
your standards a little.
339
00:15:30,694 --> 00:15:32,526
I hear you, Victoria.
340
00:15:34,432 --> 00:15:35,866
Claude, what are you doing?
341
00:15:35,933 --> 00:15:38,698
Lowering my standards.
342
00:15:38,769 --> 00:15:40,237
I didn't mean me!
343
00:15:40,304 --> 00:15:43,035
I'm sorry. It's just,
when the girl you love
344
00:15:43,107 --> 00:15:45,042
runs off to elope
with your brother...
345
00:15:45,109 --> 00:15:47,476
Wait a minute.
You mean your brother Bob?
346
00:15:47,545 --> 00:15:50,071
The girl you love
is Canadian Joy?
347
00:15:51,182 --> 00:15:55,085
Well, in Canada,
we just call her Joy.
348
00:15:55,152 --> 00:15:57,087
It's like the ginger ale.
349
00:15:57,154 --> 00:15:59,919
We just call it dry.
350
00:16:00,591 --> 00:16:03,060
No, Bob can't be
getting married now.
351
00:16:03,127 --> 00:16:04,755
- He's with Joy.
- Which Joy?
352
00:16:04,829 --> 00:16:06,593
- My Joy or your Joy?
- My Joy.
353
00:16:06,664 --> 00:16:09,634
Okay, to avoid confusion,
let's call my Joy "my Joy"
354
00:16:09,700 --> 00:16:10,793
and your Joy "your Joy."
355
00:16:10,868 --> 00:16:12,564
Well, I need to find your Joy.
356
00:16:12,636 --> 00:16:14,332
Are you talking about
your Joy "my Joy"
357
00:16:14,405 --> 00:16:15,429
or my Joy "your Joy"?
358
00:16:15,506 --> 00:16:18,271
I am talking about the Joy
you told me to call "your Joy"
359
00:16:18,342 --> 00:16:20,353
because your Joy, you wanted
to call "my Joy," but...
360
00:16:20,377 --> 00:16:22,972
I have no idea.
361
00:16:25,216 --> 00:16:27,151
You're not very bright, are you?
362
00:16:33,324 --> 00:16:35,418
Joy!
363
00:16:35,493 --> 00:16:38,520
- Are you all right?
- Mm-hmm.
364
00:16:38,596 --> 00:16:40,326
- Ow!
- Oh, sorry.
365
00:16:40,397 --> 00:16:41,490
Oh, but, look.
366
00:16:41,565 --> 00:16:44,228
It took care
of that little mustache.
367
00:16:44,935 --> 00:16:47,564
Joy!
Joy, who did this to you?
368
00:16:47,638 --> 00:16:48,799
Canadian Joy.
369
00:16:48,873 --> 00:16:50,150
We have got to stop
that wedding.
370
00:16:50,174 --> 00:16:52,109
- Do you know where they are?
- No.
371
00:16:52,176 --> 00:16:54,168
Think, Claude, think.
372
00:16:54,245 --> 00:16:57,215
Isn't there some other option?
373
00:16:57,281 --> 00:17:00,843
Wait. When we were kids,
Bob and I used to lie awake
374
00:17:00,918 --> 00:17:04,980
in our twin beds, dreaming about
every detail of our nuptials...
375
00:17:05,055 --> 00:17:06,648
as young boys do.
376
00:17:08,325 --> 00:17:10,817
Claude, where are they
getting married?
377
00:17:12,129 --> 00:17:14,030
Oh.
378
00:17:14,098 --> 00:17:16,499
Here's a clue...
Bob's Instagram.
379
00:17:16,567 --> 00:17:19,332
Bob and Joy are hiking
to the top of Mount Davis.
380
00:17:19,403 --> 00:17:20,837
I'll never catch up with them.
381
00:17:20,905 --> 00:17:22,931
How can I possibly get
to the top of that mountain
382
00:17:23,007 --> 00:17:24,373
in time to stop the wedding?
383
00:17:25,676 --> 00:17:33,676
# Ave Maria #
384
00:17:33,984 --> 00:17:37,421
- Beautiful, Bob.
- Thank you.
385
00:17:37,488 --> 00:17:39,286
Normally at this point
in the ceremony,
386
00:17:39,356 --> 00:17:41,518
I ask if anyone present objects.
387
00:17:41,592 --> 00:17:43,458
But since there's no one here
388
00:17:43,527 --> 00:17:45,018
- to object...
- I object.
389
00:17:45,095 --> 00:17:46,095
Who said that?
390
00:17:46,130 --> 00:17:47,792
I did.
391
00:17:48,999 --> 00:17:50,058
Joy.
392
00:17:50,134 --> 00:17:53,866
Bob, the sonogram she gave
you... It's Brad Pitt's baby.
393
00:17:55,005 --> 00:17:56,598
You slept with Brad Pitt?
394
00:17:57,541 --> 00:17:59,066
Well, she has a type.
395
00:18:01,278 --> 00:18:03,042
She stole the photo
off the Internet.
396
00:18:03,113 --> 00:18:04,445
She's not really pregnant.
397
00:18:04,515 --> 00:18:06,177
Is this true, Joy?
398
00:18:06,250 --> 00:18:08,549
Yes, but let me explain.
399
00:18:08,619 --> 00:18:12,078
I've dreamed of being a part
of your family my whole life.
400
00:18:12,156 --> 00:18:13,920
Can you understand
how hard it is
401
00:18:13,991 --> 00:18:16,859
to want something for so long,
getting so close,
402
00:18:16,927 --> 00:18:18,759
but knowing you can't have it?
403
00:18:18,829 --> 00:18:20,730
I understand.
404
00:18:20,798 --> 00:18:23,461
Claude?
What are you doing here?
405
00:18:23,534 --> 00:18:26,470
I have loved you forever, Joy.
406
00:18:26,537 --> 00:18:29,439
And I don't care what you did.
I'm in love with you now.
407
00:18:29,506 --> 00:18:30,838
Oh, Claude.
408
00:18:30,908 --> 00:18:33,104
Yes, I will marry you.
409
00:18:33,177 --> 00:18:34,611
What?
410
00:18:34,678 --> 00:18:37,705
I was thinking more like drinks.
411
00:18:37,781 --> 00:18:40,307
Oh, why did I
go for the handsome bad boy
412
00:18:40,384 --> 00:18:42,319
when the bad boy's
even handsomer brother
413
00:18:42,386 --> 00:18:43,877
was here all along?
414
00:18:43,954 --> 00:18:46,048
It never made any sense.
415
00:18:46,123 --> 00:18:47,887
Oh, my love.
416
00:18:47,958 --> 00:18:49,859
Bob?
417
00:18:49,927 --> 00:18:51,657
I have something to say.
418
00:18:51,729 --> 00:18:53,698
I came to the office
this morning to tell you
419
00:18:53,764 --> 00:18:55,289
I've fallen in love with you...
420
00:18:55,366 --> 00:18:58,359
that maybe I've been in love
with you all along.
421
00:18:58,435 --> 00:19:02,270
You're the nicest, kindest,
sweetest man I've ever known.
422
00:19:03,140 --> 00:19:05,439
And you've just made me
the happiest.
423
00:19:05,509 --> 00:19:08,638
Joy, if I wasn't on top
of a mountain with another woman
424
00:19:08,712 --> 00:19:11,773
and you weren't
inside an iPad...
425
00:19:12,516 --> 00:19:14,644
I would kiss you
so hard right now.
426
00:19:15,986 --> 00:19:17,352
Joy, I love you.
427
00:19:17,421 --> 00:19:20,323
I love you, Bob.
428
00:19:20,391 --> 00:19:21,791
I love you, Joy.
429
00:19:21,859 --> 00:19:23,487
I love you, Claude.
430
00:19:23,560 --> 00:19:25,756
- I love you, bro.
- I love you, bro.
431
00:19:25,829 --> 00:19:27,195
I love you, sis.
432
00:19:27,264 --> 00:19:30,530
Yeah, I don't think
we're there yet.
433
00:19:36,740 --> 00:19:38,709
It really looks like
he died in his sleep.
434
00:19:38,775 --> 00:19:40,641
And that's what
people will think.
435
00:19:40,710 --> 00:19:42,008
We did a good thing.
436
00:19:42,078 --> 00:19:44,843
Technically, we committed
a crime, moving a dead body.
437
00:19:44,915 --> 00:19:47,384
But that's okay.
No one will ever know.
438
00:19:47,450 --> 00:19:49,250
Let's get out of here
before someone shows up.
439
00:19:50,587 --> 00:19:53,113
Too late.
Someone showed up.
440
00:19:53,657 --> 00:19:55,649
Oh, quick... Get in the closet.
441
00:20:00,230 --> 00:20:02,096
Ted, I know you're in there.
442
00:20:02,165 --> 00:20:03,463
I saw your car.
443
00:20:03,533 --> 00:20:04,967
Oh.
444
00:20:05,035 --> 00:20:06,333
There you are.
445
00:20:06,403 --> 00:20:09,896
Don't pretend to be asleep.
I smell her perfume on you.
446
00:20:09,973 --> 00:20:12,943
That fool
had another girlfriend.
447
00:20:13,009 --> 00:20:14,910
I'll kill him.
448
00:20:17,113 --> 00:20:19,173
You're never
gonna cheat on me again!
449
00:20:23,353 --> 00:20:25,185
Oh, God!
What are we gonna do?
450
00:20:25,255 --> 00:20:26,689
She shot the mayor!
451
00:20:26,756 --> 00:20:29,590
Technically, I'm the mayor.
452
00:20:30,660 --> 00:20:33,687
But a terribly tragedy.
453
00:20:36,800 --> 00:20:37,800
# Hey!##
454
00:20:41,471 --> 00:20:43,804
# Ba-ba, ba-ba #
455
00:20:43,873 --> 00:20:46,365
# Ba-ba, ba-ba #
456
00:20:46,443 --> 00:20:51,006
# Ah, ah, ah #
457
00:20:51,081 --> 00:20:53,414
# Ba-ba, ba-ba #
458
00:20:53,483 --> 00:20:55,782
# Ba-ba, ba-ba #
459
00:20:55,852 --> 00:21:00,381
# Ah, ah, ah #
460
00:21:03,727 --> 00:21:05,320
# Hey! #
32247
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.