Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:17,080 --> 00:00:18,360
Are you still here?
2
00:00:18,560 --> 00:00:19,870
You need to get going.
3
00:00:20,070 --> 00:00:23,070
I can't get going.
I told you I don't feel well.
4
00:00:23,270 --> 00:00:24,470
What's the matter now?
5
00:00:24,670 --> 00:00:26,240
Nothing, I just had
6
00:00:26,440 --> 00:00:27,870
explosive fucking diarrhea
all night
7
00:00:28,070 --> 00:00:30,440
because you decided
to get us KFC for dinner.
8
00:00:30,640 --> 00:00:32,650
You have KFC all the time.
9
00:00:32,850 --> 00:00:35,080
Yeah, and I have
diarrhea all the time!
10
00:00:35,280 --> 00:00:38,650
You're not staying home all day
and playing Baldur's Gate 3.
11
00:00:38,850 --> 00:00:42,190
Now let's go.
12
00:00:42,390 --> 00:00:44,720
Have a good day at school,
sweetie.
13
00:00:44,920 --> 00:00:46,340
Fuck you, Mom!
14
00:00:49,180 --> 00:00:50,400
This is bullshit.
15
00:00:50,600 --> 00:00:52,630
How do you get your mom arrested
for child abuse?
16
00:00:52,830 --> 00:00:55,030
She wouldn't let you stay home
and play Baldur's Gate 3,
17
00:00:55,100 --> 00:00:56,240
fat ass?
18
00:00:56,440 --> 00:00:58,470
Who you callin' fat,
you heathen bitch?
19
00:00:58,670 --> 00:01:00,610
Dude, you don't wanna
miss school today.
20
00:01:00,810 --> 00:01:03,810
Clyde said he's gonna fart
on Tammy Mullins during P.E.
21
00:01:04,010 --> 00:01:06,080
Tammy Mullins has
sweet fucking knockers.
22
00:01:06,280 --> 00:01:08,750
Dude, Kenny,
enough about Tammy's knockers!
23
00:01:08,950 --> 00:01:10,390
You sound like
a white male trying to
24
00:01:10,420 --> 00:01:11,950
re-establish the patriarchy.
25
00:01:15,320 --> 00:01:16,490
Eric, it's okay.
26
00:01:16,690 --> 00:01:18,920
- It's okay.
- Mom! Mom!
27
00:01:19,120 --> 00:01:20,330
I had a dream that...
28
00:01:20,530 --> 00:01:22,330
I was replaced
by a diverse woman!
29
00:01:22,530 --> 00:01:23,760
Not again.
30
00:01:23,960 --> 00:01:26,100
Yeah, only this time,
it wasn't just me.
31
00:01:26,300 --> 00:01:28,670
They were taking all my favorite
people and replacing them
32
00:01:28,870 --> 00:01:30,676
with diverse women complaining
about the patriarchy.
33
00:01:30,700 --> 00:01:32,340
Will you check
under the bed and make sure
34
00:01:32,540 --> 00:01:34,140
there's no Disney executives
under there?
35
00:01:34,240 --> 00:01:36,610
- I promise there's not.
- I'm scared, Mom!
36
00:01:36,810 --> 00:01:39,010
Will you please just look
and make sure Kathleen Kennedy
37
00:01:39,034 --> 00:01:40,324
isn't under my bed?
38
00:01:40,930 --> 00:01:43,520
Kathleen Kennedy
is not under your bed.
39
00:01:43,720 --> 00:01:44,880
Can you check the closet?
40
00:01:45,080 --> 00:01:46,450
Eric, enough.
41
00:01:46,650 --> 00:01:49,520
I've told you there's no such
thing as Disney executives
42
00:01:49,720 --> 00:01:51,600
who replace everyone you love
with diverse women
43
00:01:51,760 --> 00:01:53,360
who complain
about the patriarchy.
44
00:01:53,560 --> 00:01:55,840
Now be a big boy.
45
00:01:58,280 --> 00:01:59,530
It's-it's not real.
46
00:01:59,730 --> 00:02:01,770
It's... it's not real.
47
00:02:17,570 --> 00:02:18,580
Get up!
48
00:02:18,780 --> 00:02:20,420
Come on, Stan, get up.
Let's go.
49
00:02:20,620 --> 00:02:21,620
- What, Dad?
- Downstairs.
50
00:02:21,820 --> 00:02:23,610
Let's go.
I'm sick of this shit.
51
00:02:26,580 --> 00:02:27,790
Okay.
52
00:02:27,990 --> 00:02:29,660
It has come to my attention
lately that
53
00:02:29,860 --> 00:02:33,600
young people today
don't know how to do shit.
54
00:02:33,800 --> 00:02:36,570
You got your phones and your AI
and you kids haven't
55
00:02:36,770 --> 00:02:38,870
learned to be able
to actually do anything.
56
00:02:39,070 --> 00:02:40,640
So we're going
to take this morning to
57
00:02:40,840 --> 00:02:43,940
learn how to fix something.
You see this?
58
00:02:44,140 --> 00:02:47,080
See this?
The oven door isn't working.
59
00:02:47,280 --> 00:02:49,750
It's falling off the hinges.
So what do we do?
60
00:02:49,950 --> 00:02:51,070
Shelley?
61
00:02:52,070 --> 00:02:53,420
I don't know.
62
00:02:53,620 --> 00:02:54,690
It's very simple.
63
00:02:54,890 --> 00:02:56,390
You gotta
make the hinges tighter
64
00:02:56,590 --> 00:02:57,960
so the oven door's more secure.
65
00:02:58,160 --> 00:03:01,360
So what you do is...
you take out your phone
66
00:03:01,560 --> 00:03:04,030
and you call the handyman.
67
00:03:06,060 --> 00:03:07,220
Hello?
68
00:03:07,330 --> 00:03:08,830
Hello. It's Randy Marsh.
69
00:03:09,030 --> 00:03:12,610
My oven door is not working.
Please come fix it.
70
00:03:12,810 --> 00:03:15,820
Now we rest
until the handyman comes.
71
00:03:22,180 --> 00:03:24,620
Are you following this
at all, guys?
72
00:03:24,820 --> 00:03:27,450
- Is this seeping in?
- Nope.
73
00:03:27,650 --> 00:03:30,320
No, it looks like
the screws are totally stripped.
74
00:03:30,520 --> 00:03:31,840
What does that mean?
What's wrong?
75
00:03:31,960 --> 00:03:33,690
Can't get 'er fixed right now,
I gotta get
76
00:03:33,890 --> 00:03:35,960
some different washers
at the Home Depot.
77
00:03:36,160 --> 00:03:37,400
Okay, do that.
78
00:03:37,600 --> 00:03:38,920
Can't do it right now,
I gotta get
79
00:03:38,944 --> 00:03:40,554
over to Stephen Stotch's house
80
00:03:40,670 --> 00:03:42,030
and install his closet shelves.
81
00:03:42,230 --> 00:03:45,140
Okay, see, kids,
this happens sometimes
82
00:03:45,340 --> 00:03:47,780
but handymen don't make a lot
of money, so here's what you do.
83
00:03:47,940 --> 00:03:50,210
Okay, I will pay you
an extra 30 bucks
84
00:03:50,410 --> 00:03:51,940
if you fix my oven now.
85
00:03:52,140 --> 00:03:55,350
Yeah, sorry, but Stotch already
gave me an extra 50 bucks.
86
00:03:55,550 --> 00:03:58,020
I will pay you
an extra 55 bucks.
87
00:03:58,220 --> 00:04:00,290
Randy, did you fix
the oven door yet?
88
00:04:00,490 --> 00:04:02,260
I'm working on it!
89
00:04:02,460 --> 00:04:03,590
Look, please.
90
00:04:03,790 --> 00:04:05,470
Whatever you want.
I'll throw in a six-pack
91
00:04:05,494 --> 00:04:06,834
of beer and you can get drunk.
92
00:04:06,930 --> 00:04:09,050
I don't need your trivial
little perks anymore, Marsh.
93
00:04:09,074 --> 00:04:11,914
I got work comin'
out my ears. It's like...
94
00:04:12,030 --> 00:04:13,530
I don't know,
it's like nobody knows
95
00:04:13,730 --> 00:04:15,580
how to do shit anymore.
96
00:04:16,420 --> 00:04:18,300
You're...
You're just gonna leave?
97
00:04:18,500 --> 00:04:20,470
I'll pay a different handyman.
98
00:04:20,670 --> 00:04:21,770
Yeah, go for it, buddy,
99
00:04:21,970 --> 00:04:24,290
I got so much money
I don't care.
100
00:04:26,330 --> 00:04:28,060
What the hell is going on?
101
00:04:28,830 --> 00:04:32,350
All right, just try to relax.
Take a deep breath.
102
00:04:32,550 --> 00:04:36,760
Now tell me exactly
what it is you're afraid of.
103
00:04:36,960 --> 00:04:39,760
I keep having the same dream.
104
00:04:39,960 --> 00:04:41,860
Everywhere I look,
people are being replaced.
105
00:04:42,060 --> 00:04:45,500
Okay. And who do you think
is going to have you replaced?
106
00:04:45,700 --> 00:04:47,900
Them. The puppet masters.
107
00:04:48,100 --> 00:04:50,470
The last time I had the dream,
I was, I was walking
108
00:04:50,670 --> 00:04:52,170
down the school hallway...
109
00:04:54,940 --> 00:04:57,040
And then I see Butters,
and he's like...
110
00:04:57,240 --> 00:04:58,456
Hey, Eric! You wanna see
111
00:04:58,480 --> 00:04:59,760
what my mom packed me for lunch?
112
00:04:59,810 --> 00:05:01,150
And that's when
I start to notice
113
00:05:01,350 --> 00:05:02,756
that something's wrong.
Everyone I cared about
114
00:05:02,780 --> 00:05:04,080
has been
systematically replaced.
115
00:05:04,280 --> 00:05:06,000
And finally I want to scream
and I'm like...
116
00:05:06,024 --> 00:05:07,784
Why are they replacing
every single character
117
00:05:07,894 --> 00:05:09,250
with someone who is diverse?
118
00:05:09,460 --> 00:05:10,936
- But then Kenny's like...
- It's not
119
00:05:10,960 --> 00:05:12,436
our fault, it's 'cause of
Kathleen Kennedy.
120
00:05:12,460 --> 00:05:14,020
But then Kathleen Kennedy's
just like...
121
00:05:14,044 --> 00:05:15,244
Fuck it! Make it more lame.
122
00:05:15,444 --> 00:05:16,930
And everyone in town is like,
123
00:05:17,130 --> 00:05:18,976
"No, please, Kathleen Kennedy,
stop ruining everything."
124
00:05:19,000 --> 00:05:20,360
But Kathleen Kennedy
is all like...
125
00:05:20,384 --> 00:05:21,784
Put another gay diverse
woman in it.
126
00:05:21,914 --> 00:05:23,440
Make it more fucking lame.
127
00:05:23,640 --> 00:05:25,880
And Disney stock just keeps
going down and down and down!
128
00:05:25,904 --> 00:05:27,374
And then Bob Iger is all like...
129
00:05:27,440 --> 00:05:29,686
No! No!
What's going on with my stocks?
130
00:05:29,710 --> 00:05:30,980
No, Kathleen Kennedy!
131
00:05:34,130 --> 00:05:36,380
It happened again, didn't it?
132
00:05:36,580 --> 00:05:39,620
Okay, Eric, I think I know
what's going on here.
133
00:05:39,820 --> 00:05:43,290
Your fears aren't about Disney
replacing everything you love.
134
00:05:43,490 --> 00:05:47,890
What everyone is afraid of these
days is being replaced by AI.
135
00:05:48,090 --> 00:05:49,430
- AI?
- But you don't need
136
00:05:49,630 --> 00:05:51,030
to worry, Eric.
137
00:05:51,230 --> 00:05:53,530
As long as you work hard
and stay in school,
138
00:05:53,730 --> 00:05:55,170
you can make something
of yourself.
139
00:05:55,370 --> 00:05:58,270
Become an elite worker like
I did that AI can't replace.
140
00:05:58,470 --> 00:05:59,910
You're a therapist
and the best thing
141
00:06:00,070 --> 00:06:01,630
you have to tell me is
"stay in school"?
142
00:06:01,654 --> 00:06:03,910
You're in control
of your future, Eric.
143
00:06:04,110 --> 00:06:05,810
You just need to ask yourself,
144
00:06:06,010 --> 00:06:07,180
"Who will be the people
145
00:06:07,380 --> 00:06:10,130
still making money
in the AI-driven future?"
146
00:06:12,950 --> 00:06:14,670
What the... What the fuck?
147
00:06:20,130 --> 00:06:21,490
Could you hurry it up, please?
148
00:06:21,690 --> 00:06:23,050
I kind of need to
get back to work.
149
00:06:23,074 --> 00:06:24,174
Yep, well, looks like
150
00:06:24,230 --> 00:06:25,800
you got a short
in the outlet there.
151
00:06:26,000 --> 00:06:27,680
I'd have to get a new outlet
at Home Depot.
152
00:06:27,704 --> 00:06:30,474
I can probably come
change it on the 28th.
153
00:06:30,570 --> 00:06:32,340
28th? No, no, no, look.
154
00:06:32,540 --> 00:06:34,640
I'll give a hundred bucks
to get this done today.
155
00:06:34,840 --> 00:06:36,940
I already got a feller
giving me thousands
156
00:06:37,140 --> 00:06:38,880
to fix his toilet
this afternoon.
157
00:06:39,080 --> 00:06:41,450
Thousands?
I can't afford that.
158
00:06:41,650 --> 00:06:42,950
Free therapy sessions.
159
00:06:43,150 --> 00:06:45,320
How about we trade?
You do the handiwork for me.
160
00:06:45,520 --> 00:06:47,650
And I'll give you five
free therapy sessions!
161
00:06:47,850 --> 00:06:49,190
No, thanks.
162
00:06:49,390 --> 00:06:53,910
I do all my therapy
on the AI Freudbot app.
163
00:06:57,250 --> 00:07:00,070
This is
South Park Breaking News.
164
00:07:00,270 --> 00:07:02,230
Shocking developments
in the country today,
165
00:07:02,430 --> 00:07:05,300
it appears that nobody
knows how to do shit anymore.
166
00:07:05,500 --> 00:07:08,010
Our own Chris Martins
is live on the scene.
167
00:07:08,210 --> 00:07:10,680
Tom, I'm standing in
my bathroom where the new
168
00:07:10,880 --> 00:07:13,380
tile for my shower
has yet to be installed.
169
00:07:13,580 --> 00:07:16,480
As you can see, the tile has
started to peel off in places.
170
00:07:16,680 --> 00:07:20,050
Now the handyman was supposed
to come days ago to fix it
171
00:07:20,250 --> 00:07:21,610
but he claims to have
better offers
172
00:07:21,690 --> 00:07:23,090
from other white-collar workers
173
00:07:23,290 --> 00:07:26,360
like me whose practical
know-how has atrophied.
174
00:07:26,560 --> 00:07:28,560
It appears
we've all screwed ourselves
175
00:07:28,760 --> 00:07:31,910
by relying on technology and AI.
176
00:07:36,120 --> 00:07:37,840
Hey, Siri,
177
00:07:38,040 --> 00:07:40,570
how do you fix
a broken oven door?
178
00:07:40,770 --> 00:07:43,610
Here's what I found
from reference.com.
179
00:07:43,810 --> 00:07:46,880
Undo any screws that
hold the hinges in position,
180
00:07:47,080 --> 00:07:49,010
pull the door upward
and then outwards
181
00:07:49,210 --> 00:07:51,080
to detach hinges from the oven.
182
00:07:51,280 --> 00:07:53,120
Insert the new hinge
into the hinge holes
183
00:07:53,320 --> 00:07:55,990
and secure the hinges
with screws.
184
00:07:56,190 --> 00:08:00,330
Hey, Siri, okay,
can you do that for me?
185
00:08:00,530 --> 00:08:02,130
Can I do what for you?
186
00:08:02,330 --> 00:08:04,430
Can you fix my oven door for me?
187
00:08:04,630 --> 00:08:06,160
It's broken.
188
00:08:06,360 --> 00:08:09,970
I cannot do that
because I do not have arms.
189
00:08:10,170 --> 00:08:12,100
You will need
to call a handyman.
190
00:08:12,300 --> 00:08:14,540
The handyman isn't available.
191
00:08:14,740 --> 00:08:16,210
He's all, like, rich now
192
00:08:16,410 --> 00:08:19,140
and I fucking rely on him to
keep everything working here!
193
00:08:19,340 --> 00:08:21,910
I am unable to fix an oven door.
194
00:08:22,110 --> 00:08:25,420
Well, hey, Siri,
I thought AI was supposed to be
195
00:08:25,620 --> 00:08:29,120
this amazing scary advancement
that could, like, do anything.
196
00:08:29,320 --> 00:08:31,020
Hey, Randy,
the oven door in the kitchen
197
00:08:31,220 --> 00:08:33,010
- still isn't...
- I am working on it!
198
00:08:33,840 --> 00:08:36,390
Hey, Siri,
all the handymen are rich
199
00:08:36,600 --> 00:08:39,900
and I can't afford them anymore
so what do I do?
200
00:08:40,100 --> 00:08:42,400
Perhaps you could find
an unlicensed worker
201
00:08:42,600 --> 00:08:45,340
who does small day jobs
for cash.
202
00:08:45,540 --> 00:08:47,840
You mean like those
broke-ass illegal immigrants
203
00:08:48,040 --> 00:08:49,810
down at Home Depot?
204
00:08:50,010 --> 00:08:51,880
I'm sorry, I shouldn't
have said it that way.
205
00:08:52,080 --> 00:08:54,050
Hey, Siri, you mean like those
206
00:08:54,250 --> 00:08:56,650
broke-ass illegal immigrants
down at Home Depot?
207
00:08:56,850 --> 00:08:59,590
Yes. There are often
people sitting out front
208
00:08:59,790 --> 00:09:02,660
of Home Depot
waiting to be hired for work.
209
00:09:02,860 --> 00:09:05,310
Yeah. Those guys!
210
00:09:10,380 --> 00:09:11,930
Hey, Kenny, can we talk to you?
211
00:09:12,130 --> 00:09:13,400
Sure, guys, what's up?
212
00:09:13,600 --> 00:09:15,530
Well, Clyde says that you
told Tammy Mullins
213
00:09:15,730 --> 00:09:18,000
he was gonna fart on her in P.E.
so she didn't show up.
214
00:09:18,200 --> 00:09:20,040
Yeah, I might have told her.
215
00:09:20,240 --> 00:09:21,886
Well, Kenny, everyone was really
looking forward to that.
216
00:09:21,910 --> 00:09:23,040
Why did you ruin it?
217
00:09:23,240 --> 00:09:24,680
I told you guys
I think Tammy Mullins
218
00:09:24,810 --> 00:09:27,510
- has sweet fucking knockers.
- You guys!
219
00:09:27,710 --> 00:09:30,680
You guys! Something super crazy
is happening, you guys.
220
00:09:30,880 --> 00:09:32,080
You went on a diet?
221
00:09:32,280 --> 00:09:33,720
This is serious, Kyle!
222
00:09:33,920 --> 00:09:35,220
At first they were just dreams,
223
00:09:35,420 --> 00:09:37,460
but now I feel like
I'm actually changing.
224
00:09:37,660 --> 00:09:40,160
Why would I be having visions
that I'm a diverse woman?
225
00:09:40,360 --> 00:09:42,160
Because you're a fat,
racist piece of shit.
226
00:09:42,360 --> 00:09:44,560
Goddamn it, I'm not fat.
I'm just shamed for my body
227
00:09:44,760 --> 00:09:46,760
in a world where white men
decide what's beautiful.
228
00:09:46,784 --> 00:09:48,700
What the fuck was that?!
229
00:09:48,900 --> 00:09:51,770
Why would I say that?
I don't say that. You see?!
230
00:09:51,970 --> 00:09:54,170
This is happening
to all of us, you guys.
231
00:09:54,370 --> 00:09:55,940
You might think
everything is okay.
232
00:09:56,140 --> 00:09:58,710
But Disney... is gonna get ya.
233
00:09:58,910 --> 00:10:00,480
Kathleen Kennedy's gonna get ya.
234
00:10:00,680 --> 00:10:03,320
Disney and Kathleen Kennedy
are gonna get ya!
235
00:10:05,320 --> 00:10:07,790
I don't think that what
I'm experiencing are dreams.
236
00:10:07,990 --> 00:10:09,760
I think that what
I'm seeing are windows...
237
00:10:09,960 --> 00:10:11,920
into alternate universes.
238
00:10:12,120 --> 00:10:13,540
Yeah, okay, I'm out.
239
00:10:14,310 --> 00:10:15,550
It's true, Kyle, there could be
240
00:10:15,690 --> 00:10:17,290
other universes
with other versions of...
241
00:10:17,430 --> 00:10:19,390
Everyone's sick of
the stupid multiverse, Cartman.
242
00:10:19,414 --> 00:10:21,100
It's not stupid,
it's totally possible
243
00:10:21,300 --> 00:10:22,700
and if you can't...
244
00:10:22,900 --> 00:10:24,300
Kyle? Kyle?
245
00:10:24,500 --> 00:10:26,516
I swear, the multiverse is
just an excuse for lazy writing.
246
00:10:26,540 --> 00:10:28,580
- Whoa. Kyle!
- Yeah, it's like
every damn movie now.
247
00:10:28,610 --> 00:10:29,710
Kyle, what is this?
248
00:10:29,910 --> 00:10:31,810
You might
wanna listen to him, Kyle!
249
00:10:32,010 --> 00:10:33,580
Kyle, you gotta help me!
250
00:10:33,780 --> 00:10:34,780
Help me, Kyle!
251
00:10:51,250 --> 00:10:53,030
Hey!
252
00:10:53,230 --> 00:10:54,430
Hey, I need a worker!
253
00:10:54,630 --> 00:10:56,430
- Is that a handyman?
- There's one!
254
00:10:56,630 --> 00:10:58,116
Hey, you wanna trade?
255
00:10:58,140 --> 00:10:59,300
What the fuck?
256
00:10:59,500 --> 00:11:01,270
Randy! You know how
to do stuff, right?
257
00:11:01,470 --> 00:11:02,590
I gotta get the radiant heat
258
00:11:02,736 --> 00:11:04,216
installed in my house
and I'm offering
259
00:11:04,240 --> 00:11:05,880
free legal advice in exchange.
260
00:11:06,080 --> 00:11:07,480
You need a reporter?
261
00:11:07,680 --> 00:11:09,920
I'll report the news to you
if you fix my shower tile!
262
00:11:10,120 --> 00:11:12,280
How about a computer programmer?
I can do coding!
263
00:11:12,480 --> 00:11:14,020
Insurance broker?
Insurance broker?
264
00:11:14,220 --> 00:11:15,700
What the hell are
you guys doing here?
265
00:11:15,850 --> 00:11:17,990
We're trying to get
a handyman to do stuff for us.
266
00:11:18,190 --> 00:11:20,130
You know how to
install radiant heat or not?
267
00:11:20,330 --> 00:11:23,760
No, I need some broke-ass
immigrants to fix my oven door.
268
00:11:23,960 --> 00:11:25,230
Dang it.
269
00:11:25,430 --> 00:11:27,580
Hey! Here comes
a different handyman!
270
00:11:28,850 --> 00:11:32,670
Hey, anyone wanna
make a bunch of money?
271
00:11:32,870 --> 00:11:35,790
I need four workers who know
how to use a power saw.
272
00:11:36,730 --> 00:11:39,380
I'll do lawyer work if
you install my radiant heat!
273
00:11:39,580 --> 00:11:41,210
I've got skills
in human resources.
274
00:11:41,410 --> 00:11:42,610
Let's work something out!
275
00:11:42,820 --> 00:11:46,230
No, I need guys that know
how to work a power saw.
276
00:11:47,800 --> 00:11:51,610
None of you know how to
work a power saw? Jesus Christ.
277
00:11:54,340 --> 00:11:56,540
What universe is this?
278
00:12:06,590 --> 00:12:09,210
Yo, Kenny, we gotta
ask you something.
279
00:12:09,410 --> 00:12:12,080
Are you, like,
in love with Tammy Mullins?
280
00:12:12,280 --> 00:12:14,680
I'm not in love with her,
I just like her knockers.
281
00:12:14,880 --> 00:12:17,150
Okay, well, why would you
protect someone from getting
282
00:12:17,350 --> 00:12:19,850
farted on unless there
were some real feelings there?
283
00:12:20,050 --> 00:12:22,050
Dude, I said I was sorry, okay?
284
00:12:22,250 --> 00:12:23,590
You guys! You guys!
285
00:12:23,790 --> 00:12:26,620
Something really weird
is going on!
286
00:12:26,830 --> 00:12:29,490
I keep having the same dream
that I'm a fat little white boy.
287
00:12:29,690 --> 00:12:32,230
You ain't white,
but you definitely fat.
288
00:12:32,430 --> 00:12:33,800
This is serious, Kyle!
289
00:12:34,000 --> 00:12:37,040
It's more than a dream,
it's becoming like real now!
290
00:12:37,240 --> 00:12:38,540
I keep seeing all of you!
291
00:12:38,740 --> 00:12:40,610
Being replaced by
little white motherfuckers!
292
00:12:40,810 --> 00:12:43,280
Well, maybe you should try
not being so racist, Cartman.
293
00:12:43,480 --> 00:12:45,510
You can't be racist
towards white people, Stan!
294
00:12:45,710 --> 00:12:48,750
They all honky-ass bitches!
You know what this is?
295
00:12:48,950 --> 00:12:51,800
I think this is some
alternate universe shit.
296
00:12:52,630 --> 00:12:54,630
Yeah, right, you just
acting crazy 'cause you wanna
297
00:12:54,820 --> 00:12:57,420
- get sent home from school.
- No, I'm not, Kyle!
298
00:12:57,620 --> 00:12:59,220
Yeah, bitch, you just
wanna get sent home
299
00:12:59,420 --> 00:13:01,430
so you can play Baldur's Gate 3.
300
00:13:09,320 --> 00:13:11,640
What the fuck?
301
00:13:11,840 --> 00:13:13,540
My God, it's all real!
302
00:13:13,740 --> 00:13:16,610
Whatever you're doing,
Cartman, we ain't buyin' it.
303
00:13:16,810 --> 00:13:19,440
Stay away from me! You aren't
my friends! Do you understand?
304
00:13:19,640 --> 00:13:21,910
Is that supposed to be Cartman?
305
00:13:22,110 --> 00:13:23,620
It ain't Cartman
but it's still fat.
306
00:13:23,820 --> 00:13:25,480
Just more like
little round and fat.
307
00:13:25,680 --> 00:13:27,520
Yeah, like Tammy Mullins'
knockers.
308
00:13:27,720 --> 00:13:28,820
Kenny! Brah.
309
00:13:29,020 --> 00:13:30,990
Chill with the knockers. Man!
310
00:13:31,190 --> 00:13:33,330
No...
311
00:13:33,530 --> 00:13:35,740
No...!
312
00:13:39,560 --> 00:13:41,500
Okay, so Clyde says he
can probably try to fart
313
00:13:41,700 --> 00:13:43,420
on Tammy Mullins again
during fourth period.
314
00:13:43,470 --> 00:13:45,310
But this time Kenny
has to keep his mouth shut.
315
00:13:45,400 --> 00:13:47,410
It's fine!
I won't say anything, fine!
316
00:13:47,610 --> 00:13:49,810
He's gonna say something,
he's totally in love with her.
317
00:13:49,834 --> 00:13:52,704
- No, I'm not!
- You guys! You guys!
318
00:13:52,840 --> 00:13:54,810
Holy shit, you guys,
I fuckin' told you!
319
00:13:55,010 --> 00:13:57,600
I fuckin' told you this
was happening, didn't I?
320
00:13:58,570 --> 00:13:59,650
Told us what was happening?
321
00:13:59,850 --> 00:14:01,410
I told you I was having
all these dreams
322
00:14:01,550 --> 00:14:02,890
that I was a fat
little white boy
323
00:14:03,076 --> 00:14:05,036
and you guys were all
white boys too and now look!
324
00:14:05,060 --> 00:14:06,640
Y'all actually turned into 'em!
325
00:14:07,440 --> 00:14:09,690
- Do we know you?
- I'm Cartman.
326
00:14:09,890 --> 00:14:12,600
And you're Kyle and you're Stan
and you're fucking Kenny.
327
00:14:12,800 --> 00:14:14,430
Only it's a parallel,
alternated universe
328
00:14:14,630 --> 00:14:15,870
and y'all have been replaced.
329
00:14:16,070 --> 00:14:18,000
Okay, cool lady.
330
00:14:18,200 --> 00:14:19,770
We gotta get to class.
331
00:14:19,970 --> 00:14:21,410
No! No, no, no, no, no!
332
00:14:21,610 --> 00:14:23,250
You guys are gonna
listen to me this time!
333
00:14:23,340 --> 00:14:25,110
I need help!
334
00:14:25,310 --> 00:14:27,050
Cartman's just messing with us.
335
00:14:27,250 --> 00:14:28,280
Fuck you, Kyle!
336
00:14:28,480 --> 00:14:30,080
This is serious,
you fuckin' butt-fucker!
337
00:14:30,104 --> 00:14:32,764
Yeah, listen, lady,
we really gotta get going.
338
00:14:32,880 --> 00:14:35,890
Will you guys fucking
listen to me?! I'm Cartman!
339
00:14:36,090 --> 00:14:38,920
You're not Cartman and
multiple universes are stupid.
340
00:14:39,120 --> 00:14:41,480
Goddamn it!
341
00:14:43,410 --> 00:14:45,660
Tom, I'm still here
live at the scene.
342
00:14:45,860 --> 00:14:48,370
Dozens of white-collar workers
are gathered hoping
343
00:14:48,570 --> 00:14:51,170
to get the attention of
just one handyman.
344
00:14:51,370 --> 00:14:53,740
It's a scene
of desperation and a reminder
345
00:14:53,940 --> 00:14:56,660
of where our
country's economy is headed.
346
00:14:59,260 --> 00:15:02,660
Hey! Hey, hey, hey!
347
00:15:04,000 --> 00:15:06,450
Hey, hey! Excuse me,
you're a handyman, right?
348
00:15:06,650 --> 00:15:08,990
Can I get you to come look
at my oven door?
349
00:15:09,190 --> 00:15:10,620
I can trade you services.
350
00:15:10,820 --> 00:15:14,030
I have geology skills.
Could you come fix my door
351
00:15:14,230 --> 00:15:15,760
and I'll give you some geology?
352
00:15:15,960 --> 00:15:18,860
Hey, why don't you guys
get outta here?
353
00:15:19,060 --> 00:15:22,220
You're making the Home Depot
look all shitty.
354
00:15:24,020 --> 00:15:26,040
Fuckin' rich assholes.
355
00:15:26,240 --> 00:15:27,740
Sucks.
356
00:15:27,940 --> 00:15:28,940
Aw, man.
357
00:15:29,110 --> 00:15:31,340
Boy, I wish
I knew how to fix stuff.
358
00:15:31,540 --> 00:15:32,540
I'd be rich, too.
359
00:15:32,740 --> 00:15:34,810
I could know how to fix stuff!
360
00:15:35,010 --> 00:15:36,810
The problem is
when I could have been learning
361
00:15:37,020 --> 00:15:40,090
how to fix stuff, I went
to fucking college instead!
362
00:15:40,290 --> 00:15:41,520
Hey, yeah, he's right.
363
00:15:41,720 --> 00:15:44,220
We all went to college,
and where did it get us?
364
00:15:44,420 --> 00:15:46,620
Yeah, I'm still paying off
my college loans.
365
00:15:46,820 --> 00:15:49,630
Yeah, so am I! Now I don't
know how to do anything
366
00:15:49,830 --> 00:15:52,400
'cause I got suckered into going
to college and learning stupid
367
00:15:52,600 --> 00:15:55,470
geology that anyone can know
'cause of goddamn AI!
368
00:15:55,670 --> 00:15:56,770
Yeah, fuck college!
369
00:15:56,970 --> 00:15:58,440
Let's go
get our fucking money back!
370
00:15:58,640 --> 00:16:00,740
- Yeah!
- Yeah! Fuck college!
371
00:16:00,940 --> 00:16:02,760
Come on, let's go!
372
00:16:06,510 --> 00:16:08,750
- Stupid college!
- You wasted our time!
373
00:16:08,950 --> 00:16:11,980
- Fuck you, college!
- Piece of shit college!
374
00:16:12,180 --> 00:16:13,490
Hey-hey, college!
375
00:16:13,690 --> 00:16:15,920
You know what you are?!
You're a scam!
376
00:16:16,120 --> 00:16:17,190
College is a scam!
377
00:16:17,390 --> 00:16:19,190
Yeah!
378
00:16:19,390 --> 00:16:20,460
Yeah, that's right!
379
00:16:20,660 --> 00:16:21,660
Yeah, hey, college!
380
00:16:21,790 --> 00:16:23,230
Here's my student loan bill.
381
00:16:23,430 --> 00:16:25,160
That I'm still paying off!
382
00:16:25,360 --> 00:16:27,680
Well, guess what,
I'm not paying it!
383
00:16:28,450 --> 00:16:30,500
- Yeah!
- We don't owe you nothing!
384
00:16:30,700 --> 00:16:32,546
Guess what, college?!
385
00:16:32,570 --> 00:16:35,840
We don't owe you money,
you owe us money!
386
00:16:36,040 --> 00:16:37,140
Yeah!
387
00:16:37,340 --> 00:16:40,260
Yeah, that's right!
388
00:16:41,100 --> 00:16:43,080
You think you can
just sit there and not even
389
00:16:43,280 --> 00:16:45,750
respond to us, college?
Okay!
390
00:16:45,950 --> 00:16:48,490
You aren't going to destroy
any more lives!
391
00:16:48,690 --> 00:16:50,220
All right, bring in
the catapult.
392
00:16:50,420 --> 00:16:51,860
Bring in the catapult!
393
00:16:52,060 --> 00:16:53,060
Yeah!
394
00:16:53,130 --> 00:16:54,290
Yeah, that's right!
395
00:16:59,650 --> 00:17:02,850
- What's that?
- That's the catapult.
396
00:17:03,820 --> 00:17:05,740
Well, but it's still in the box.
397
00:17:05,940 --> 00:17:08,240
Yeah, somebody's
gotta put it together.
398
00:17:08,440 --> 00:17:10,110
Well, how are we gonna...
399
00:17:10,310 --> 00:17:11,510
Hang on, college!
400
00:17:11,710 --> 00:17:13,110
How're we gonna
break the college if
401
00:17:13,134 --> 00:17:14,574
the catapult is still
in the box?
402
00:17:14,650 --> 00:17:16,080
It's okay,
we called the handyman.
403
00:17:16,280 --> 00:17:18,330
He's gonna build it for us.
404
00:17:24,170 --> 00:17:26,990
Hello, gentlemen, what
seems to be the problem?
405
00:17:28,860 --> 00:17:30,460
You said
you couldn't work today.
406
00:17:30,660 --> 00:17:32,400
You're supposed
to fix my oven door!
407
00:17:32,600 --> 00:17:34,170
I've got a lot of jobs there,
buddy.
408
00:17:34,370 --> 00:17:35,570
This one paid the most today.
409
00:17:35,770 --> 00:17:38,100
We all pooled together
and offered him $20,000.
410
00:17:38,300 --> 00:17:39,770
$20,000?
411
00:17:39,970 --> 00:17:41,440
What the fuck
are you guys doing?!
412
00:17:41,640 --> 00:17:43,990
You're gonna make him
totally impossible now!
413
00:17:46,440 --> 00:17:48,650
All right, send Broflovski,
Marsh and McKormick
414
00:17:48,850 --> 00:17:50,830
into my office, please.
415
00:17:52,030 --> 00:17:53,120
Aw, what the hell?
416
00:17:53,320 --> 00:17:54,880
Sit down, boys.
One of our students here
417
00:17:54,904 --> 00:17:56,464
says you've been
treating them unfairly.
418
00:17:56,488 --> 00:17:59,244
- Treating who unfairly?
- We didn't do anything!
419
00:17:59,360 --> 00:18:00,790
We're just minding
our own business
420
00:18:00,990 --> 00:18:02,610
and she keeps saying
she's Eric Cartman!
421
00:18:03,650 --> 00:18:05,750
Okay. And what's
wrong with that?
422
00:18:07,480 --> 00:18:09,800
What's wrong is it
doesn't make any sense.
423
00:18:10,000 --> 00:18:11,400
Okay, I see.
424
00:18:11,600 --> 00:18:13,246
There's a diverse female
where Cartman used to be
425
00:18:13,270 --> 00:18:14,370
and you don't like that.
426
00:18:14,570 --> 00:18:16,470
It's not that we
don't like it, it's...
427
00:18:16,670 --> 00:18:17,830
don't you think that's weird?
428
00:18:17,980 --> 00:18:19,580
I don't see
a problem with it at all.
429
00:18:19,780 --> 00:18:21,900
And if you boys don't think
Eric can be a Black woman,
430
00:18:21,924 --> 00:18:23,944
then maybe the problem is you.
431
00:18:24,870 --> 00:18:25,870
What?
432
00:18:25,950 --> 00:18:27,190
You think it's perfectly normal
433
00:18:27,220 --> 00:18:28,790
that Cartman
is suddenly a Black woman?
434
00:18:28,990 --> 00:18:30,396
You probably don't like
that Indiana Jones got replaced
435
00:18:30,420 --> 00:18:31,860
by a female either?
436
00:18:32,046 --> 00:18:34,206
You probably have a problem
with Black Spider-Man, too.
437
00:18:34,230 --> 00:18:35,730
No! Miles Morales is sweet.
438
00:18:35,926 --> 00:18:37,206
That's a whole constructed thing
439
00:18:37,230 --> 00:18:38,670
with its own character
and narrative!
440
00:18:38,830 --> 00:18:41,730
This is just taking Cartman,
same old Cartman,
441
00:18:41,930 --> 00:18:43,640
and putting a Black woman in it.
442
00:18:43,840 --> 00:18:45,770
Well, you know what I think
about that, Kyle?
443
00:18:45,970 --> 00:18:47,040
Hold on. Hold on.
444
00:18:48,710 --> 00:18:50,316
That's what I think
about that, Kyle!
445
00:18:50,340 --> 00:18:51,480
Goddamn it, Cartman!
446
00:18:51,680 --> 00:18:53,180
Dude, what the fuck
is going on?!
447
00:18:53,380 --> 00:18:54,910
I'll tell you what's going on.
448
00:18:55,110 --> 00:18:56,956
You boys feel that your white
culture is being threatened
449
00:18:56,980 --> 00:18:58,580
and so you're
lashing out with racism.
450
00:18:58,780 --> 00:19:00,450
And if you
say anything more about
451
00:19:00,646 --> 00:19:02,326
a Black woman Cartman
not making any sense,
452
00:19:02,350 --> 00:19:04,310
then you can all just have
three weeks' detention!
453
00:19:04,360 --> 00:19:05,590
Now get out of my office!
454
00:19:05,790 --> 00:19:07,360
Goddamn it!
455
00:19:07,560 --> 00:19:09,230
Fuck you, Kyle.
You have to help me!
456
00:19:09,430 --> 00:19:11,300
How's that fart feeling
on your face right now?
457
00:19:11,500 --> 00:19:12,660
Shut up!
458
00:19:12,860 --> 00:19:15,850
Na-na-na-na-na.
Heh-heh-heh-heh-heh-heh.
459
00:19:25,280 --> 00:19:27,880
And we both told Clyde,
"Okay, you can try to fart
460
00:19:28,080 --> 00:19:29,880
on Tammy Mullins later.
Kenny won't tell her."
461
00:19:30,050 --> 00:19:32,680
And guess what? This little
motherfucker does it again!
462
00:19:32,880 --> 00:19:35,120
I'm sorry.
She hypnotized me.
463
00:19:35,276 --> 00:19:36,996
Everyone's trying
to enjoy themselves, dude.
464
00:19:37,020 --> 00:19:38,860
Why do you keep fucking it up?
465
00:19:39,060 --> 00:19:40,660
Hey, who's the fat
little white boy?
466
00:19:40,860 --> 00:19:42,760
Who knows?
White heterosexual males
467
00:19:42,960 --> 00:19:44,460
think they're welcome anywhere.
468
00:19:47,600 --> 00:19:50,070
Okay, children,
let's take our seats.
469
00:19:50,270 --> 00:19:53,140
Today we're going to
talk more about female exclusion
470
00:19:53,340 --> 00:19:54,710
in the male patriarchy.
471
00:19:56,710 --> 00:19:59,610
Butters,
who is that sitting next to you?
472
00:19:59,810 --> 00:20:00,850
I don't know, ma'am.
473
00:20:01,050 --> 00:20:03,050
I think it's
supposed to be Eric.
474
00:20:03,250 --> 00:20:04,650
I am Eric!
475
00:20:04,850 --> 00:20:06,880
All Cartman cares about
is playing Baldur's Gate 3.
476
00:20:07,080 --> 00:20:09,090
So the bitch did a switcheroo
with Spanky here.
477
00:20:09,290 --> 00:20:10,720
That is not what's going on!
478
00:20:10,920 --> 00:20:13,080
And I am not going to sit here
and be insulted anymore!
479
00:20:13,190 --> 00:20:14,730
I am a respected citizen
in my universe
480
00:20:14,930 --> 00:20:17,060
and I demand to speak to
someone with authority!
481
00:20:17,260 --> 00:20:20,720
Is there a problem here?
482
00:20:21,980 --> 00:20:24,820
No!
483
00:20:29,620 --> 00:20:31,010
Eight years.
484
00:20:31,210 --> 00:20:34,010
Eight years I spent
wasting time at stupid college
485
00:20:34,210 --> 00:20:36,090
when I could have been
learning how to do stuff.
486
00:20:36,280 --> 00:20:39,480
All the time we spent
memorizing, studying... for what?
487
00:20:39,680 --> 00:20:42,920
Anyone gets any info they want
with the touch of a button now.
488
00:20:43,120 --> 00:20:45,520
All right,
I think she's ready to go.
489
00:20:45,720 --> 00:20:47,630
It's ready! It's ready!
490
00:20:47,830 --> 00:20:50,560
Okay, okay, aim it
at the center of the school.
491
00:20:50,760 --> 00:20:52,060
How do we fire it?
492
00:20:52,260 --> 00:20:54,180
There's a big red button here.
Should I press it?
493
00:20:54,370 --> 00:20:56,050
Yeah, yeah, let 'er rip!
494
00:21:02,990 --> 00:21:04,810
Yeah! Yeah!
495
00:21:05,010 --> 00:21:07,380
Yeah, take that, college!
496
00:21:07,580 --> 00:21:09,110
Let's see them ignore that!
497
00:21:09,310 --> 00:21:11,480
I can't wait
to see what they do now.
498
00:21:11,680 --> 00:21:13,590
- Yeah!
- Yeah!
499
00:21:13,790 --> 00:21:15,200
Hey-hey, wait, what's that?
500
00:21:20,740 --> 00:21:23,240
Hey! Hey, no,
you son of a bitch!
501
00:21:24,710 --> 00:21:27,130
He's just gonna fix the glass!
502
00:21:28,800 --> 00:21:30,106
You fucking give these
billionaires your money
503
00:21:30,130 --> 00:21:31,650
and then another billionaire
just comes
504
00:21:31,674 --> 00:21:33,244
and profits off of that.
505
00:21:33,440 --> 00:21:35,690
Society is so fucked up!
506
00:21:42,530 --> 00:21:44,780
Something is
wrong with the universe.
507
00:21:44,980 --> 00:21:46,620
Our stocks are down
and every Disney movie
508
00:21:46,780 --> 00:21:48,250
this year has failed!
509
00:21:48,450 --> 00:21:49,890
We don't understand it, sir.
510
00:21:50,090 --> 00:21:52,160
We keep making
the same movie over and over
511
00:21:52,360 --> 00:21:55,290
and pandering to everyone
but suddenly it's not working.
512
00:21:55,490 --> 00:21:57,730
Then we've got to pander harder!
513
00:21:57,930 --> 00:22:00,100
Look, I don't want
to have to say it, but...
514
00:22:00,300 --> 00:22:03,150
I think the problem is
Kathleen Kennedy.
515
00:22:04,590 --> 00:22:07,310
Kathleen Kennedy has
made studios a lot of money.
516
00:22:07,510 --> 00:22:10,910
Yes, before. But you have
to admit something's changed.
517
00:22:11,110 --> 00:22:13,480
For weeks now she's been
completely different.
518
00:22:13,680 --> 00:22:15,980
- It's true.
- What if...
519
00:22:16,180 --> 00:22:18,970
this is a different
Kathleen Kennedy?
520
00:22:20,700 --> 00:22:21,750
What are you saying, Rick?
521
00:22:21,950 --> 00:22:23,760
I'm just saying
isn't it possible
522
00:22:23,960 --> 00:22:26,420
that we here
at Disney pandered so much...
523
00:22:26,620 --> 00:22:29,980
that we've opened a doorway
to the panderverse.
524
00:22:30,780 --> 00:22:32,430
The panderverse
is just a theory!
525
00:22:32,630 --> 00:22:35,530
And yet we do have
the panderstone downstairs.
526
00:22:35,730 --> 00:22:38,970
It's possible that someone
has tampered with it somehow.
527
00:22:39,170 --> 00:22:40,870
Well, she's on her way in
right now.
528
00:22:41,070 --> 00:22:43,040
If you wanna tell
Kathleen Kennedy you think
529
00:22:43,240 --> 00:22:44,710
she's from
an alternate universe,
530
00:22:44,910 --> 00:22:47,750
because we misused
the panderstone, go right ahead!
531
00:22:56,770 --> 00:22:58,670
Is there a problem, people?
532
00:23:00,440 --> 00:23:01,930
No problem at all, Mrs. Kennedy.
533
00:23:02,130 --> 00:23:03,860
We were just discussing ideas
534
00:23:04,060 --> 00:23:05,820
of what to do with
the new Prince Eric movie.
535
00:23:05,930 --> 00:23:07,900
Put a chick in it, make her gay!
536
00:23:08,100 --> 00:23:12,400
Yes, Mrs. Kennedy,
some of the execs are just
537
00:23:12,600 --> 00:23:15,110
- expressing that maybe...
- Well, that maybe we should go
538
00:23:15,310 --> 00:23:17,580
a different route than we did
with Indiana Jones.
539
00:23:17,780 --> 00:23:18,940
Fuck Indiana Jones!
540
00:23:19,140 --> 00:23:21,200
Put a chick in it
and make her lame and gay!
541
00:23:23,160 --> 00:23:24,250
Sure. Yeah.
542
00:23:24,450 --> 00:23:27,200
Let's try that... again.
543
00:23:34,310 --> 00:23:36,860
And then... and then there was,
like, this ball
544
00:23:37,060 --> 00:23:38,430
and then Eric floated up
545
00:23:38,630 --> 00:23:40,060
into this portal
and disappeared!
546
00:23:40,260 --> 00:23:41,700
I don't care
what you saw, Butters,
547
00:23:41,900 --> 00:23:43,340
there's gotta be
a better explanation
548
00:23:43,364 --> 00:23:44,840
than just the stupid multiverse.
549
00:23:45,040 --> 00:23:46,540
Some multiverse stuff is cool.
550
00:23:46,740 --> 00:23:48,380
Yeah, it can be cool for,
like, one movie.
551
00:23:48,410 --> 00:23:50,250
Now it's just this
cheap device that people use
552
00:23:50,274 --> 00:23:52,114
to breathe life
into tired franchises.
553
00:23:52,180 --> 00:23:54,200
What are you guys talking about?
554
00:23:55,460 --> 00:23:59,120
We were just talking about
how amazing this all is.
555
00:23:59,320 --> 00:24:00,750
Okay, I've been trying to think
556
00:24:00,950 --> 00:24:02,270
about what we should do,
you guys.
557
00:24:02,346 --> 00:24:04,066
I think I know
how to make everything right,
558
00:24:04,090 --> 00:24:05,796
but we're gonna need
a really powerful computer.
559
00:24:05,820 --> 00:24:07,300
Are you gonna eat
your brownie, Kenny?
560
00:24:07,324 --> 00:24:08,654
Yeah, I'm gonna eat my brownie!
561
00:24:08,790 --> 00:24:10,750
Okay, fine, so we'll take you
to the computer lab.
562
00:24:10,900 --> 00:24:11,960
No, no, no, no, for this,
563
00:24:12,160 --> 00:24:13,640
we gotta get
a really powerful system.
564
00:24:13,700 --> 00:24:16,070
Is Kyle's mom still a big
fat bitch in this universe?
565
00:24:16,270 --> 00:24:18,170
What? My mom's not a bitch.
566
00:24:18,370 --> 00:24:20,400
Well, I mean,
she is kind of bitchy.
567
00:24:20,610 --> 00:24:21,940
She's a big dumb bitch?
568
00:24:22,140 --> 00:24:24,421
What does calling my mom a bitch
have to do with anything?
569
00:24:24,445 --> 00:24:26,340
Because we could fake
a letter from Kyle's mom
570
00:24:26,540 --> 00:24:28,580
giving Kyle permission
to use her credit card number
571
00:24:28,610 --> 00:24:30,880
to buy all the stuff
we need at Best Buy.
572
00:24:31,080 --> 00:24:33,850
I mean, PC Principal
did say we have to help him.
573
00:24:34,050 --> 00:24:36,020
Her. Them. It.
574
00:24:36,220 --> 00:24:37,960
That's the dumbest idea ever!
575
00:24:38,160 --> 00:24:40,260
I don't even know what
my mom's credit number is!
576
00:24:40,460 --> 00:24:41,690
8-7-1-5...
577
00:24:41,890 --> 00:24:42,960
3-2-7...
578
00:24:43,160 --> 00:24:43,760
4-9-2...
579
00:24:43,960 --> 00:24:45,260
2-1-0-0-7.
580
00:24:45,460 --> 00:24:46,850
I use it all the time.
581
00:24:56,790 --> 00:24:58,960
All right. Full name?
582
00:24:59,890 --> 00:25:02,080
What is your name, sir?
583
00:25:02,280 --> 00:25:05,120
I told them already
my name is Eric Cartman.
584
00:25:05,320 --> 00:25:07,320
We know Eric Cartman, okay?
585
00:25:07,520 --> 00:25:10,120
Eric Cartman is in here
all the time getting in trouble.
586
00:25:10,320 --> 00:25:12,080
That's because I'm
from a different universe!
587
00:25:12,190 --> 00:25:13,910
How many times do I have
to tell you people?
588
00:25:13,934 --> 00:25:15,734
The Disney company tried to
use their platform
589
00:25:15,758 --> 00:25:17,760
to bring about social change
and I got fucked.
590
00:25:17,960 --> 00:25:20,800
Hey, Chief. Chief,
you gotta hear this one.
591
00:25:21,000 --> 00:25:22,630
What is it, Johnston?
592
00:25:22,830 --> 00:25:24,070
Aw, God.
593
00:25:24,270 --> 00:25:26,040
This little white boy
claims he's actually
594
00:25:26,240 --> 00:25:27,510
from a different universe.
595
00:25:27,710 --> 00:25:28,940
Is that so?
596
00:25:29,140 --> 00:25:30,740
All right, honkey,
what kind of narcotics
597
00:25:30,764 --> 00:25:33,110
are you on?
Did you do a cavity search?
598
00:25:33,310 --> 00:25:35,150
Have you even said what
you've arrested me for?
599
00:25:35,174 --> 00:25:37,455
I come from a place where this
is extremely inappropriate.
600
00:25:37,604 --> 00:25:39,750
- Chief! Hey, Chief!
- Yeah?
601
00:25:39,950 --> 00:25:41,850
There's some
crazy white lady downstairs
602
00:25:42,050 --> 00:25:43,970
freakin' out and saying
she needs to talk to you.
603
00:25:44,160 --> 00:25:45,290
More honkies?
604
00:25:45,490 --> 00:25:47,020
What is this,
a Taylor Swift concert?
605
00:25:47,220 --> 00:25:49,020
Tell the nice lady
I'll see her after I'm done
606
00:25:49,160 --> 00:25:50,800
with "Eric Cartman" here.
607
00:25:51,000 --> 00:25:52,260
Well, that's just it, Chief.
608
00:25:52,460 --> 00:25:54,670
She's sayin' she's
looking for an Eric Cartman.
609
00:25:54,870 --> 00:25:56,630
Says her name
is Kathleen Kennedy.
610
00:25:56,830 --> 00:25:59,600
Kathleen Kennedy?! No!
611
00:25:59,800 --> 00:26:02,040
She's gonna try to change me,
too! I'm the only one left!
612
00:26:02,064 --> 00:26:05,224
- Hey, get back here!
- She's gonna get me!
613
00:26:07,090 --> 00:26:09,650
Tom, I'm standing outside
614
00:26:09,850 --> 00:26:12,980
the South Park Country Club
where protestors have gathered
615
00:26:13,180 --> 00:26:15,450
to point out
the unfairness in our economy.
616
00:26:15,650 --> 00:26:18,490
The White House says they're
doing all they can but it's been
617
00:26:18,690 --> 00:26:22,260
several days now and my bathroom
tile still is not installed.
618
00:26:22,460 --> 00:26:25,530
Yeah, that's right. You see,
the whole system is rigged.
619
00:26:25,730 --> 00:26:28,300
You've got people like us
who just need our stuff fixed,
620
00:26:28,500 --> 00:26:30,500
and meanwhile
there's these billionaires
621
00:26:30,700 --> 00:26:31,800
that have all the control!
622
00:26:32,000 --> 00:26:33,200
Did you know that if just
623
00:26:33,400 --> 00:26:35,200
one of these billionaires
spread their wealth,
624
00:26:35,224 --> 00:26:37,291
it would mean thousands
to every per...
625
00:26:37,470 --> 00:26:38,830
It would mean thousands
to every...
626
00:26:38,910 --> 00:26:40,140
Sorry, hang on, just a second.
627
00:26:40,340 --> 00:26:41,650
Yeah?
628
00:26:41,850 --> 00:26:43,920
Hey, Ran, the oven door still
isn't shutting right.
629
00:26:44,120 --> 00:26:45,880
Yeah, I'm working on it, Sharon!
630
00:26:46,080 --> 00:26:48,150
I'm actually
working on it right now!
631
00:26:48,350 --> 00:26:49,990
Hey, one of them's coming out!
632
00:26:51,590 --> 00:26:53,190
Please, just glance
at my water pressure!
633
00:26:53,390 --> 00:26:55,730
Mr. Fix It, can you please
tell us why you haven't been
634
00:26:55,930 --> 00:26:57,360
responding to people's calls?
635
00:26:57,560 --> 00:27:00,260
Well, I've just been busy
with my various assets.
636
00:27:00,460 --> 00:27:02,000
You see, I've been trying
to acquire
637
00:27:02,200 --> 00:27:05,840
some social media platforms.
I just bought Instagram.
638
00:27:06,040 --> 00:27:08,170
What? The country needs
stuff fixed.
639
00:27:08,370 --> 00:27:11,010
Why the fuck are you out
buying Instagram?!
640
00:27:13,660 --> 00:27:16,950
Hey, did you just outbid me
to acquire Instagram?
641
00:27:17,150 --> 00:27:18,350
Yeah, I outbid you.
642
00:27:18,550 --> 00:27:21,050
I own Instagram now
and you don't!
643
00:27:21,250 --> 00:27:22,790
Yeah?
Well, I just acquired
644
00:27:22,990 --> 00:27:24,890
the entire
Bloomberg media company!
645
00:27:25,090 --> 00:27:26,520
Yeah?
Well, I can kick your ass.
646
00:27:26,720 --> 00:27:28,190
You wanna fight me MMA?
647
00:27:28,390 --> 00:27:30,290
Yeah, I'll fight you MMA,
let's do it.
648
00:27:30,490 --> 00:27:32,100
What the hell
are they doing now?
649
00:27:32,300 --> 00:27:33,670
I'm just gonna make a company
650
00:27:33,870 --> 00:27:35,270
and I'm gonna fly to space!
651
00:27:35,470 --> 00:27:37,530
I bet I can get to space
before you do!
652
00:27:37,740 --> 00:27:41,120
Gal! Fuck these guys!
653
00:27:45,560 --> 00:27:48,180
She has all the right things
in her purse.
654
00:27:48,380 --> 00:27:50,150
Her driver's license
says Kathleen Kennedy,
655
00:27:50,350 --> 00:27:52,250
she has Kathleen Kennedy
credit cards.
656
00:27:52,450 --> 00:27:54,950
This is definitely all the same
makeup Mrs. Kennedy uses.
657
00:27:55,150 --> 00:27:58,090
I mean, according to this,
she really is Kathleen Kennedy.
658
00:27:58,290 --> 00:28:00,830
Or Kathleen Kennedy
from another universe.
659
00:28:01,030 --> 00:28:02,590
That's enough! Please!
660
00:28:02,790 --> 00:28:04,930
We're not going to
waste our time chasing
661
00:28:05,130 --> 00:28:06,700
after wild scientific theories!
662
00:28:06,900 --> 00:28:08,100
Well, we have to do something.
663
00:28:08,130 --> 00:28:10,070
Kathleen Kennedy is down
on set right now
664
00:28:10,270 --> 00:28:11,970
ruining the new Bambi movie!
665
00:28:12,170 --> 00:28:14,410
Put a diverse woman in it,
make it lame!
666
00:28:14,610 --> 00:28:18,010
But Mrs. Kennedy,
Bam-Bambi's a baby deer.
667
00:28:18,210 --> 00:28:21,080
Fuck baby deer!
Put a chick in it, make her gay!
668
00:28:21,280 --> 00:28:23,350
You guys, you better
come take a look at this.
669
00:28:23,550 --> 00:28:26,450
I don't think we are dealing
with our Kathleen Kennedy.
670
00:28:26,650 --> 00:28:28,720
I took images of Mrs. Kennedy
and put them
671
00:28:28,920 --> 00:28:31,120
against images of her
from a few months ago.
672
00:28:31,320 --> 00:28:33,760
With AI we could detect
the smallest irregularities.
673
00:28:33,960 --> 00:28:35,580
Take a look.
674
00:28:43,350 --> 00:28:46,600
All right. What do we know
about the panderverse?
675
00:28:46,800 --> 00:28:48,010
I'm afraid we know...
676
00:28:48,210 --> 00:28:49,440
frighteningly little.
677
00:28:49,640 --> 00:28:52,210
The only thing we know for sure
678
00:28:52,410 --> 00:28:54,280
is that if a portal
were somehow opened
679
00:28:54,480 --> 00:28:55,650
with the panderstone,
680
00:28:55,850 --> 00:28:58,420
then both universes
eventually will collide,
681
00:28:58,620 --> 00:29:02,220
leading to a level of pandering
we can't even fathom.
682
00:29:02,420 --> 00:29:04,120
That we know for sure. Yes.
683
00:29:04,320 --> 00:29:05,496
Then we have to get everyone
684
00:29:05,520 --> 00:29:07,260
back to the right universe.
685
00:29:07,460 --> 00:29:11,050
Before it's complete
pandermonium.
686
00:29:22,860 --> 00:29:25,510
Okay, Kenny,
switch on the power supply.
687
00:29:25,710 --> 00:29:28,110
Stan, make sure
we've got ethernet!
688
00:29:28,310 --> 00:29:29,650
- All good.
- All right,
689
00:29:29,850 --> 00:29:30,950
let's just hope this works.
690
00:29:31,150 --> 00:29:33,050
Man, what the hell?
691
00:29:33,250 --> 00:29:35,520
Dude, Kyle, what is up
with your Internet speed?
692
00:29:35,720 --> 00:29:37,760
Go tell your parents to
upgrade your Internet speed.
693
00:29:37,960 --> 00:29:39,020
No!
694
00:29:39,186 --> 00:29:40,666
Kyle, I know
you're afraid of your mom
695
00:29:40,690 --> 00:29:42,760
'cause she's a fat bitch,
but we have to do this.
696
00:29:42,960 --> 00:29:44,260
Stop calling my mom a bitch!
697
00:29:44,460 --> 00:29:46,360
Kyle!
698
00:29:46,560 --> 00:29:48,230
I just got an alert
that someone used
699
00:29:48,430 --> 00:29:50,100
my credit card at Best Buy?!
700
00:29:50,300 --> 00:29:53,370
Hello, Mrs. Broflovski.
701
00:29:53,570 --> 00:29:56,340
My goodness,
you're looking nice today.
702
00:29:56,540 --> 00:29:57,940
What?
703
00:29:58,140 --> 00:29:59,840
You know, credit card fraud
704
00:30:00,040 --> 00:30:01,450
is very serious,
Mrs. Broflovski.
705
00:30:01,650 --> 00:30:03,530
You should call your
Internet company right away
706
00:30:03,580 --> 00:30:06,050
and up your speed
and make sure you're protected.
707
00:30:06,250 --> 00:30:09,090
Really? Kyle, who is this?
708
00:30:09,290 --> 00:30:11,060
Haven't you heard, Mom?
709
00:30:11,260 --> 00:30:12,920
We're in a multiverse
and this is
710
00:30:13,120 --> 00:30:14,510
supposed to be Eric Cartman.
711
00:30:15,310 --> 00:30:16,690
Okay, I'm fine with that.
712
00:30:16,890 --> 00:30:19,030
I better go call
the Internet company.
713
00:30:19,230 --> 00:30:20,750
What do you mean
you're fine with that?
714
00:30:20,774 --> 00:30:23,244
I think all this stuff
is great, Kyle.
715
00:30:23,300 --> 00:30:25,200
And what "all stuff"
is that, exactly?
716
00:30:25,400 --> 00:30:27,070
Ha! It worked.
717
00:30:27,270 --> 00:30:28,970
She's gonna call
the Internet company.
718
00:30:29,170 --> 00:30:31,540
Your mom is such
a dumb bitch, Kyle!
719
00:30:31,740 --> 00:30:32,980
Shut up, Cartman!
720
00:30:43,920 --> 00:30:45,220
Butters.
721
00:30:45,420 --> 00:30:46,660
Butters! Butters, listen to me.
722
00:30:46,860 --> 00:30:49,260
- It's me, Eric.
- You-You-You're not Eric!
723
00:30:49,460 --> 00:30:50,740
Yes, I am Eric Cartman, Butters.
724
00:30:50,860 --> 00:30:52,300
Kathleen Kennedy
is trying to get me.
725
00:30:52,430 --> 00:30:54,350
She won't stop until her
master plan is complete.
726
00:30:54,374 --> 00:30:56,930
I'm not supposed to have
anyone in my room, I'm grounded!
727
00:30:57,130 --> 00:30:59,370
Butters, Disney is going to
get me. They already got you!
728
00:30:59,540 --> 00:31:00,870
They did?!
729
00:31:01,070 --> 00:31:02,370
We are in this together,
Butters.
730
00:31:02,570 --> 00:31:03,970
You have to
keep me safe until I can
731
00:31:04,040 --> 00:31:06,840
figure out how we're gonna...
732
00:31:07,040 --> 00:31:08,980
She's here!
Butters, don't let her get me.
733
00:31:09,180 --> 00:31:11,650
Butters?!
734
00:31:11,850 --> 00:31:15,220
Butters! Why didn't you
answer this door?
735
00:31:15,420 --> 00:31:16,890
Hey, Dad.
736
00:31:17,090 --> 00:31:19,790
What are you doing up here?
And why do you look so scared?
737
00:31:19,990 --> 00:31:23,860
I'm not scared, I'm just,
I'm just having fun.
738
00:31:24,060 --> 00:31:25,260
Well, no having fun.
739
00:31:25,460 --> 00:31:28,000
You are grounded.
Start being more miserable.
740
00:31:28,200 --> 00:31:30,300
- Dad?
- Yes, Butters?
741
00:31:30,500 --> 00:31:33,140
Could you check
under my bed and make sure
742
00:31:33,340 --> 00:31:34,740
Kathleen Kennedy isn't there?
743
00:31:34,940 --> 00:31:37,270
Butters, what have I told you
about being more mature?
744
00:31:37,470 --> 00:31:39,410
I can assure you
Kathleen Kennedy
745
00:31:39,610 --> 00:31:41,630
is not under your bed!
746
00:31:47,120 --> 00:31:48,400
That's fucking Kathleen Kennedy!
747
00:31:48,424 --> 00:31:49,424
Right fucking there!
748
00:31:51,340 --> 00:31:53,120
You! Come here!
749
00:31:53,320 --> 00:31:54,990
No, no, no, no, no!
750
00:31:57,590 --> 00:32:00,450
No, no! No, no, no!
751
00:32:13,260 --> 00:32:14,550
Well, Shelley,
752
00:32:14,750 --> 00:32:16,680
we need to talk
about your future.
753
00:32:16,880 --> 00:32:19,850
You see, there's very few
people at the top these days.
754
00:32:20,050 --> 00:32:22,490
AI can do everything
better than we can,
755
00:32:22,690 --> 00:32:25,470
except for stuff
that requires arms.
756
00:32:26,840 --> 00:32:29,230
I don't want you to
end up a deadbeat loser
757
00:32:29,430 --> 00:32:30,930
who goes to college, Shelley.
758
00:32:31,130 --> 00:32:32,660
You need to stay out of school,
759
00:32:32,860 --> 00:32:35,570
and instead go out and be
taught real skills that will
760
00:32:35,770 --> 00:32:38,800
still be profitable
in this post-AI universe.
761
00:32:39,000 --> 00:32:42,910
So what you do is you take
out your phone and you call
762
00:32:43,110 --> 00:32:46,440
the handyman, and see if
those rich people will have
763
00:32:46,640 --> 00:32:49,700
any internships or training
programs available for you.
764
00:32:57,050 --> 00:32:59,390
Handyman service,
how can I help you?
765
00:32:59,590 --> 00:33:01,090
Yeah, hi, it's Randy Marsh.
766
00:33:01,290 --> 00:33:03,690
I was wondering if you
might have any internships
767
00:33:03,890 --> 00:33:05,100
available for my daughter...
768
00:33:05,300 --> 00:33:06,530
Hey! What in tarnation?!
769
00:33:06,730 --> 00:33:09,300
I told you I'd beat you,
you son' bitch!
770
00:33:09,500 --> 00:33:12,500
You ain't beatin' me!
Turn up them thrusters!
771
00:33:12,700 --> 00:33:14,260
My galactic cruiser's
bigger than yours!
772
00:33:14,440 --> 00:33:15,570
H-Hello?
773
00:33:15,770 --> 00:33:17,090
Get out my way,
you little pecker!
774
00:33:17,114 --> 00:33:18,354
Hello? Never mind.
775
00:33:18,410 --> 00:33:21,430
The rich people are all just
fucking around in space.
776
00:33:25,570 --> 00:33:27,020
What the hell was that?
777
00:33:27,220 --> 00:33:30,120
I'm getting significantly strong
readings from the panderstone.
778
00:33:30,320 --> 00:33:31,990
Mr. Iger.
We may have a solution.
779
00:33:32,190 --> 00:33:34,860
If this Kathleen Kennedy here
is from somewhere else, then
780
00:33:35,060 --> 00:33:37,890
there has to be a match for her
somewhere in our universe.
781
00:33:38,100 --> 00:33:39,500
So what we can do
782
00:33:39,700 --> 00:33:42,630
is use an AI program that
can take every image ever put
783
00:33:42,830 --> 00:33:45,820
on the Internet to try
and find a match to our image.
784
00:33:46,620 --> 00:33:48,460
Different, different, different,
785
00:33:48,640 --> 00:33:50,370
different, different,
different, different,
786
00:33:50,570 --> 00:33:52,980
different,
different, different...
787
00:33:53,180 --> 00:33:54,650
Same.
788
00:33:54,850 --> 00:33:56,810
Eric Cartman.
789
00:33:57,010 --> 00:33:58,320
South Park Elementary.
790
00:33:58,520 --> 00:34:00,320
Evans, Mallory, come with me.
791
00:34:00,520 --> 00:34:02,650
The rest of you,
don't let Kathleen Kennedy
792
00:34:02,850 --> 00:34:04,020
find out what we're up to.
793
00:34:04,220 --> 00:34:06,620
It's okay, we're keeping
Mrs. Kennedy distracted.
794
00:34:06,820 --> 00:34:09,440
We've sent her away
to have lunch at Spago.
795
00:34:13,680 --> 00:34:15,130
There you are, Mrs. Kennedy,
796
00:34:15,330 --> 00:34:16,830
the linguini and clam sauce.
797
00:34:17,030 --> 00:34:18,340
Excuse me?
798
00:34:18,526 --> 00:34:20,246
I believe I asked you
to put a chick in this
799
00:34:20,270 --> 00:34:21,870
and make her gay?
800
00:34:22,070 --> 00:34:24,410
Yes, the chef was a little
confused what you meant by that.
801
00:34:24,610 --> 00:34:27,310
It means put a chick
in the linguini
802
00:34:27,510 --> 00:34:29,860
and make her fucking gay!
803
00:34:30,700 --> 00:34:32,900
And I want it lame!
804
00:34:39,990 --> 00:34:43,130
She's gonna get me!
She's gonna get me!
805
00:34:49,520 --> 00:34:51,490
No, no, no, no, no!
806
00:34:54,760 --> 00:34:56,410
Hey, who's that, Ned?
807
00:34:56,610 --> 00:34:58,080
I'm not sure.
808
00:34:58,280 --> 00:34:59,860
No!
809
00:35:02,760 --> 00:35:04,720
There he is!
Get him!
810
00:35:12,310 --> 00:35:15,540
No. My God, please, no!
811
00:35:17,340 --> 00:35:19,260
No...!
812
00:35:19,460 --> 00:35:20,810
Which way did they go?
813
00:35:22,870 --> 00:35:25,240
We have to work together.
814
00:35:25,440 --> 00:35:27,870
Fuck you, Kathleen Kennedy!
Stay away, you fuckin' bitch!
815
00:35:28,070 --> 00:35:31,460
I'm in the same situation
you are, Eric!
816
00:35:33,360 --> 00:35:36,250
I know you're in
the wrong universe.
817
00:35:36,450 --> 00:35:38,630
So am I.
818
00:35:45,570 --> 00:35:49,030
Well, there's no
other way to put it.
819
00:35:49,230 --> 00:35:50,710
They have us over a barrel.
820
00:35:51,480 --> 00:35:55,600
We give these billionaires
all our money, rely on them,
821
00:35:55,800 --> 00:35:58,290
and so they can do
whatever they want.
822
00:35:59,050 --> 00:36:02,740
Let's just face it, we're
never gonna get our stuff fixed.
823
00:36:02,940 --> 00:36:04,410
Yeah.
824
00:36:04,610 --> 00:36:08,810
And I guess it's
nobody's fault but our own.
825
00:36:09,010 --> 00:36:10,410
Excuse me?
826
00:36:10,610 --> 00:36:11,750
My name is Bob Iger
827
00:36:11,950 --> 00:36:13,430
from the Disney
entertainment company.
828
00:36:13,550 --> 00:36:15,750
We're looking
for an Eric Cartman.
829
00:36:15,950 --> 00:36:18,690
Our universe
has been manipulated with.
830
00:36:18,890 --> 00:36:21,110
Have you all
noticed anything strange?
831
00:36:23,710 --> 00:36:26,960
Yes. Yes, the world
is completely upside down!
832
00:36:27,160 --> 00:36:28,400
Nothing makes sense!
833
00:36:28,600 --> 00:36:30,100
It's because
there's some kind of
834
00:36:30,300 --> 00:36:31,640
disruption in the panderverse.
835
00:36:31,840 --> 00:36:34,370
We believe Kathleen Kennedy
has opened a portal.
836
00:36:34,570 --> 00:36:36,970
This is all
Kathleen Kennedy's fault?
837
00:36:37,170 --> 00:36:39,440
This is all Kathleen Kennedy's
fault!
838
00:36:39,640 --> 00:36:40,680
Who's Kathleen Kennedy?
839
00:36:40,880 --> 00:36:43,010
One of the top executives
at Disney.
840
00:36:43,210 --> 00:36:44,620
It's not us, you guys.
841
00:36:44,820 --> 00:36:46,780
I knew there was an explanation!
842
00:36:46,980 --> 00:36:48,720
We didn't waste our time
at college!
843
00:36:48,920 --> 00:36:51,090
We didn't get lazy
from technology!
844
00:36:51,290 --> 00:36:53,890
Everything is
Kathleen Kennedy's fault!
845
00:36:57,610 --> 00:37:00,850
Follow me.
I'll help you find Eric.
846
00:37:01,650 --> 00:37:03,970
Okay, okay,
everything is finally loaded.
847
00:37:04,170 --> 00:37:05,770
We got Internet
at full capacity.
848
00:37:05,970 --> 00:37:07,370
You guys ready
to see if this works?
849
00:37:07,394 --> 00:37:09,264
- Yeah!
- All right, let's do this!
850
00:37:09,410 --> 00:37:10,910
Launching Steam now.
851
00:37:11,110 --> 00:37:12,110
Steam?
852
00:37:12,240 --> 00:37:13,540
Okay. I'm in Steam.
853
00:37:13,706 --> 00:37:14,986
Got the application ready to go.
854
00:37:15,010 --> 00:37:16,530
The title screen is launching!
855
00:37:18,730 --> 00:37:20,780
It's working.
It's working, you guys!
856
00:37:20,980 --> 00:37:22,340
It looks sweet
on this big monitor!
857
00:37:22,420 --> 00:37:24,690
Wait a minute.
You mean this entire time,
858
00:37:24,816 --> 00:37:26,696
all you've wanted to do
is play Baldur's Gate 3?
859
00:37:26,720 --> 00:37:28,360
Yeah. What'd you think
I was trying to do?
860
00:37:28,430 --> 00:37:30,430
We thought you were
trying to set up some elaborate
861
00:37:30,454 --> 00:37:31,884
system to get
back to your universe!
862
00:37:31,960 --> 00:37:33,930
I ain't no
quantum astro physicist.
863
00:37:34,130 --> 00:37:36,670
The fuck I know about
how the multiverse works?
864
00:37:36,870 --> 00:37:39,370
Wow. It really is Cartman.
865
00:37:39,570 --> 00:37:41,050
All right, that does it!
866
00:37:42,320 --> 00:37:43,710
Get out of my room!
867
00:37:43,910 --> 00:37:46,210
You have to be cool to me, Kyle.
PC Principal says so.
868
00:37:46,410 --> 00:37:49,380
I don't care! All this multiple
universe stuff is tired and lazy
869
00:37:49,580 --> 00:37:51,250
and we are not doing it anymore!
870
00:37:51,450 --> 00:37:52,850
Boys! Boys,
871
00:37:53,050 --> 00:37:55,170
we need to help Disney
put our universe back together.
872
00:37:55,194 --> 00:37:56,194
Where's Eric Cartman?
873
00:37:56,290 --> 00:37:57,820
Dad, this might be hard
to understand,
874
00:37:58,020 --> 00:37:59,420
but this is Eric Cartman.
875
00:37:59,620 --> 00:38:01,060
Okay, great.
Come on, Eric,
876
00:38:01,260 --> 00:38:02,590
we need to go.
877
00:38:02,790 --> 00:38:05,130
We have to hurry, Eric.
878
00:38:05,330 --> 00:38:06,900
No. No, wait.
879
00:38:07,100 --> 00:38:09,000
Something's wrong.
My God!
880
00:38:09,200 --> 00:38:11,270
- What is it?
- My save game.
881
00:38:11,470 --> 00:38:13,670
I'm already like 50 hours
into Baldur's Gate 3
882
00:38:13,870 --> 00:38:16,040
but it's saying that
I have to start a new game.
883
00:38:16,240 --> 00:38:18,710
Do save games not cross
between multiple universes?
884
00:38:18,910 --> 00:38:20,270
Save games
don't even cross between
885
00:38:20,294 --> 00:38:21,724
PCs and PS5s,
why would they cross
886
00:38:21,810 --> 00:38:23,060
between multiple universes?
887
00:38:24,060 --> 00:38:25,250
No...!
888
00:38:25,450 --> 00:38:27,210
Please, everyone.
We are running out of time!
889
00:38:27,234 --> 00:38:28,934
We have to close
the panderverse before
890
00:38:29,020 --> 00:38:30,590
everything we care about
is destroyed!
891
00:38:30,790 --> 00:38:31,790
So what do we have to do?
892
00:38:31,960 --> 00:38:33,060
We have to get everyone
893
00:38:33,260 --> 00:38:34,830
back to the proper place,
but to breach
894
00:38:35,030 --> 00:38:36,630
the panderverse,
we need to find a place
895
00:38:36,830 --> 00:38:39,080
with integrity
that has a broken door.
896
00:38:39,980 --> 00:38:43,430
A place with "integridy"
that has a broken door.
897
00:38:43,630 --> 00:38:46,120
I know where to go.
898
00:38:48,190 --> 00:38:50,570
So, yeah, so it's just basically
off the hinges.
899
00:38:50,770 --> 00:38:52,580
I'd fix it myself
but I've been really busy.
900
00:38:52,780 --> 00:38:54,040
Do you think it'll work?
901
00:38:54,240 --> 00:38:56,000
If we're to try to open
a panderverse portal,
902
00:38:56,024 --> 00:38:57,650
it's as good as any place,
I suppose.
903
00:38:57,850 --> 00:38:59,580
Okay, people,
we don't have much time.
904
00:38:59,780 --> 00:39:02,800
Bring in the panderstone.
905
00:39:05,890 --> 00:39:07,860
I'm not your enemy, Eric.
906
00:39:08,060 --> 00:39:10,130
For some reason
fate has put us together.
907
00:39:10,330 --> 00:39:12,700
What do you want from me,
Kathleen Kennedy?
908
00:39:12,900 --> 00:39:15,000
I've been stuck in
this universe for months.
909
00:39:15,200 --> 00:39:17,070
I want out of here
just as much as you do.
910
00:39:17,270 --> 00:39:20,100
Hello, welcome to City Woke,
can I take your order, please?
911
00:39:21,470 --> 00:39:23,110
We're just having tea,
thank you.
912
00:39:23,310 --> 00:39:25,110
Okay, you just wanna tea
and talk about
913
00:39:25,310 --> 00:39:27,410
shitty male-dominated society,
that's fine.
914
00:39:27,610 --> 00:39:29,450
I don't get it,
this is exactly the kind of
915
00:39:29,650 --> 00:39:31,570
universe you wanted,
why would you want to leave?
916
00:39:31,594 --> 00:39:35,314
To stop her from undoing
the panderverse completely.
917
00:39:38,200 --> 00:39:40,590
I saw the panderstone
for the first time
918
00:39:40,790 --> 00:39:41,990
a few years ago.
919
00:39:42,190 --> 00:39:44,130
Bob Iger took us
to the Disney archives
920
00:39:44,330 --> 00:39:47,200
and showed us an ancient
piece of artificial intelligence
921
00:39:47,400 --> 00:39:50,030
that could be used to make
the same movies over
922
00:39:50,230 --> 00:39:53,920
and over again while appealing
to absolutely everyone.
923
00:39:55,060 --> 00:39:57,270
The panderstone worked great,
for a while.
924
00:39:57,470 --> 00:40:00,540
But then came the hate mail.
Ugly letters from racists
925
00:40:00,740 --> 00:40:02,680
who couldn't stand
that some of the panderstone's
926
00:40:02,880 --> 00:40:05,620
rehashes had diverse
women characters in the lead.
927
00:40:05,820 --> 00:40:09,250
I decided I would show them.
I would start making movies
928
00:40:09,450 --> 00:40:11,290
to fight all
the bigotry in our society.
929
00:40:11,490 --> 00:40:13,490
But instead
of doing any real work,
930
00:40:13,690 --> 00:40:18,860
I turned to the panderstone.
It made things so much easier.
931
00:40:19,060 --> 00:40:21,400
Soon, I was using
the panderstone over
932
00:40:21,600 --> 00:40:24,570
and over again to try
and fight all the ugly feedback,
933
00:40:24,770 --> 00:40:27,620
which in turn was growing
stronger and stronger.
934
00:40:28,390 --> 00:40:30,910
But I was fighting
with the wrong tool.
935
00:40:31,110 --> 00:40:32,710
I used the panderstone
to the point
936
00:40:32,910 --> 00:40:35,230
that it became unstable.
937
00:40:36,060 --> 00:40:37,880
It opened a portal
to multiple universes,
938
00:40:38,080 --> 00:40:40,800
and something came through.
939
00:40:48,540 --> 00:40:51,760
At first we fought. I tried
to send it back to its universe.
940
00:40:51,960 --> 00:40:53,460
But it got the upper hand.
941
00:40:53,660 --> 00:40:56,100
It was able instead
to send me to this universe,
942
00:40:56,300 --> 00:40:58,920
out of its way so
it could thrive in ours.
943
00:41:00,520 --> 00:41:02,840
That's actually
the best explanation
944
00:41:03,040 --> 00:41:06,280
I've heard as to why
Disney movies all suck now.
945
00:41:10,330 --> 00:41:11,780
All right, I've set
the panderstone
946
00:41:11,980 --> 00:41:13,520
into the compromised doorway.
947
00:41:13,720 --> 00:41:15,870
Activating the panderstone now.
948
00:41:17,270 --> 00:41:18,270
Whoa!
949
00:41:18,450 --> 00:41:19,920
Space-time portal
is manifesting!
950
00:41:20,120 --> 00:41:21,640
Panderverse
quantum fields are aligned!
951
00:41:21,790 --> 00:41:24,190
Yeah, that sounds like typical
multiverse gobbledygook.
952
00:41:24,390 --> 00:41:26,360
Will you stop ripping
on multiple universes, Kyle?
953
00:41:26,560 --> 00:41:28,160
I'm trying to get back
to Baldur's Gate.
954
00:41:28,360 --> 00:41:31,300
Now I warn you, Mr. Marsh,
once inside the panderverse,
955
00:41:31,466 --> 00:41:33,346
you will be falling
through different realities.
956
00:41:33,370 --> 00:41:35,310
Your mind will barely
be able to comprehend
957
00:41:35,510 --> 00:41:37,910
- what you are experiencing.
- Randy?
958
00:41:38,110 --> 00:41:40,310
I think the oven door is
still having problems if you...
959
00:41:40,340 --> 00:41:43,130
I am working on it, Sharon!
960
00:41:44,600 --> 00:41:47,620
The portal is at full.
This might be our only shot!
961
00:41:47,820 --> 00:41:49,520
Good luck, Mr. Marsh!
962
00:41:49,720 --> 00:41:51,400
Whoa!
963
00:41:54,760 --> 00:41:56,880
Hold on to the rope!
964
00:41:58,380 --> 00:42:00,500
Whoa!
965
00:42:00,700 --> 00:42:02,400
My God.
966
00:42:02,600 --> 00:42:05,070
Whoa!
967
00:42:05,270 --> 00:42:07,570
Whoa.
968
00:42:09,870 --> 00:42:12,510
God, it's so weird.
969
00:42:12,710 --> 00:42:14,510
Shorts, now I'm wearing shorts!
970
00:42:16,850 --> 00:42:17,850
Can you imagine it?
971
00:42:17,980 --> 00:42:19,480
An infinite number of universes
972
00:42:19,680 --> 00:42:21,690
with infinite combinations of
pants and shirts.
973
00:42:21,890 --> 00:42:24,970
What do you think about
multiple universes now, boys?
974
00:42:26,210 --> 00:42:27,610
Yeah, they're pretty
fucking stupid.
975
00:42:27,660 --> 00:42:28,660
Yeah.
976
00:42:28,760 --> 00:42:30,090
I understand that maybe
977
00:42:30,290 --> 00:42:32,130
you were trying to
make a difference, Kathleen.
978
00:42:32,154 --> 00:42:33,924
But you have to admit
the last few movies
979
00:42:34,030 --> 00:42:35,590
you've shit out
have been real stinkers.
980
00:42:35,770 --> 00:42:37,030
All I ever wanted was to
981
00:42:37,230 --> 00:42:39,370
make great entertainment,
believe me.
982
00:42:39,570 --> 00:42:42,410
But as soon as you start getting
piles and piles of hate mail,
983
00:42:42,610 --> 00:42:45,010
endless messages
calling you the c-word,
984
00:42:45,210 --> 00:42:46,910
you can't think straight.
985
00:42:47,110 --> 00:42:49,680
Well, I'm sorry I wrote
all those letters.
986
00:42:49,880 --> 00:42:51,480
It probably was a bit much.
987
00:42:51,680 --> 00:42:54,790
No, I got like
10,000 letters a day.
988
00:42:54,990 --> 00:42:56,596
I was doing more like
12,000 to 13,000,
989
00:42:56,620 --> 00:42:58,870
especially after the new
Indiana Jones came out.
990
00:42:59,870 --> 00:43:02,830
Then it's you! You're the one
who caused all this!
991
00:43:03,030 --> 00:43:04,800
Fuck you! You're the one
who caused all this!
992
00:43:05,000 --> 00:43:06,730
I wouldn't have tried
to fight racism
993
00:43:06,930 --> 00:43:08,036
with the panderstone
if you hadn't
994
00:43:08,060 --> 00:43:09,200
written all those letters.
995
00:43:09,400 --> 00:43:10,676
I wouldn't have written
all those letters
996
00:43:10,700 --> 00:43:12,060
if you hadn't
tried to fight racism
997
00:43:12,084 --> 00:43:13,714
with a fucking panderstone.
998
00:43:15,440 --> 00:43:17,640
Mr. Marsh!
Can you hear us?
999
00:43:17,840 --> 00:43:18,910
Wow!
1000
00:43:19,110 --> 00:43:20,880
You should see
the pants I have on now!
1001
00:43:21,080 --> 00:43:24,280
Whoa! Now I have on,
like, suspenders.
1002
00:43:24,480 --> 00:43:27,220
Like almost like overalls
but not quite!
1003
00:43:27,420 --> 00:43:28,420
My God.
1004
00:43:28,580 --> 00:43:30,620
Mr. Marsh!
Try and stay focused!
1005
00:43:30,820 --> 00:43:33,320
You should be
seeing another portal soon!
1006
00:43:33,520 --> 00:43:35,560
If our Kathleen Kennedy
got the other Eric Cartman
1007
00:43:35,760 --> 00:43:37,060
to the right place.
1008
00:43:37,260 --> 00:43:38,830
My God! My God!
1009
00:43:39,030 --> 00:43:40,330
Dad? What's the matter?
1010
00:43:40,530 --> 00:43:42,630
I'm wearing a Baltimore Ravens
shirt now!
1011
00:43:42,830 --> 00:43:44,230
I hate the Ravens!
1012
00:43:44,430 --> 00:43:47,000
I don't know if I can do this!
1013
00:43:47,200 --> 00:43:49,140
Now it's the Dolphins!
The Chiefs!
1014
00:43:49,340 --> 00:43:50,940
It's the Chiefs!
1015
00:43:51,140 --> 00:43:52,510
He's losing his mind!
1016
00:43:52,710 --> 00:43:54,380
The panderverse
is filled with mystery
1017
00:43:54,580 --> 00:43:57,950
and paradox, you...
You have to try and hang on!
1018
00:44:01,200 --> 00:44:03,400
Jesus, it's getting worse.
1019
00:44:09,310 --> 00:44:12,780
Where the fuck is Bob Iger?
1020
00:44:13,580 --> 00:44:15,630
Mr. Iger
just had to take some
1021
00:44:15,830 --> 00:44:17,370
of the others to a screening.
1022
00:44:17,570 --> 00:44:20,400
I think that things
are being kept from me.
1023
00:44:20,600 --> 00:44:22,910
And if you're going
to keep things from me,
1024
00:44:23,110 --> 00:44:25,480
then you'd better
put a chick in it,
1025
00:44:25,680 --> 00:44:28,810
and make her
fucking gay as fuck.
1026
00:44:35,170 --> 00:44:37,920
So that's it,
that's the connection.
1027
00:44:38,120 --> 00:44:40,860
I reacted to you
and you reacted to me.
1028
00:44:41,060 --> 00:44:43,490
And I guess
we created each other.
1029
00:44:43,690 --> 00:44:44,900
Mrs. Kennedy,
1030
00:44:45,100 --> 00:44:46,380
I don't think
I've ever said this
1031
00:44:46,404 --> 00:44:49,204
before in my life but...
I'm sorry.
1032
00:44:49,300 --> 00:44:52,100
I lashed out so hard and used
the c-word so many times,
1033
00:44:52,300 --> 00:44:54,500
you didn't really have
a choice but to double down.
1034
00:44:54,700 --> 00:44:57,970
Eric, I know you care
about all things Disney.
1035
00:44:58,170 --> 00:45:01,580
I'm sorry I was so reckless
with the things that you love.
1036
00:45:01,780 --> 00:45:04,610
It was just lazy.
1037
00:45:04,820 --> 00:45:06,280
I guess just wailing
1038
00:45:06,480 --> 00:45:09,970
on woke stuff all the time
is pretty lazy, too.
1039
00:45:17,140 --> 00:45:21,510
I think...
I think I can let go now.
1040
00:45:28,450 --> 00:45:31,760
Aah...
1041
00:45:32,560 --> 00:45:37,600
Come on, Kate. Looks like
we got a flight to catch.
1042
00:45:47,360 --> 00:45:49,560
Whoa, what the hell is that?
1043
00:45:53,330 --> 00:45:56,070
Yo, bitch!
You killed Kenny!
1044
00:45:56,270 --> 00:45:58,280
You fat ho!
1045
00:46:07,860 --> 00:46:09,100
Look!
1046
00:46:12,730 --> 00:46:14,570
I'm back, you guys!
1047
00:46:16,400 --> 00:46:18,390
Kyle! Kyle, I'm back!
1048
00:46:18,590 --> 00:46:20,070
I was so wrong
about Kathleen Kennedy,
1049
00:46:20,260 --> 00:46:21,660
Kyle, she's so awesome!
1050
00:46:21,860 --> 00:46:23,930
Okay, what Cartman is this?
1051
00:46:24,130 --> 00:46:25,330
Mrs. Kennedy, you're back!
1052
00:46:25,530 --> 00:46:27,730
- Great to see you, ma'am.
- Thanks, you guys.
1053
00:46:27,930 --> 00:46:30,530
We have a lot of changes
to discuss at the company.
1054
00:46:30,730 --> 00:46:32,940
From now on we're only
going to make original content
1055
00:46:33,140 --> 00:46:34,570
that doesn't pander.
1056
00:46:34,770 --> 00:46:36,670
Sure we will, Kate.
Sure we will.
1057
00:46:38,140 --> 00:46:40,030
Hey, guys! Guys, over here!
1058
00:46:40,790 --> 00:46:44,050
I did a little extra work while
I was out in multiple universes.
1059
00:46:44,250 --> 00:46:46,520
We're not gonna have a problem
with billionaires anymore,
1060
00:46:46,720 --> 00:46:48,500
check it out!
1061
00:46:51,960 --> 00:46:54,960
Now people who can do stuff
will be just as poor
1062
00:46:55,160 --> 00:46:56,330
as the rest of us!
1063
00:46:58,900 --> 00:47:01,700
Tom, it appears that
everything is back to normal.
1064
00:47:01,900 --> 00:47:04,430
Billionaires have been put
in their place and once again
1065
00:47:04,630 --> 00:47:07,300
it doesn't matter that we
don't know how to do anything.
1066
00:47:07,500 --> 00:47:09,810
It's a good ending here
and we can all be happy
1067
00:47:10,010 --> 00:47:14,460
that everyone
is back in their universe.
1068
00:47:21,680 --> 00:47:23,190
Mom! Mom!
1069
00:47:23,390 --> 00:47:25,090
What is it, Mrs. Kennedy?
1070
00:47:25,290 --> 00:47:26,620
Mom!
1071
00:47:26,820 --> 00:47:28,590
I was just having
the worst nightmare.
1072
00:47:28,790 --> 00:47:31,230
I was me except everyone
around me was different.
1073
00:47:31,430 --> 00:47:32,730
No, Mrs. Kennedy.
1074
00:47:32,930 --> 00:47:36,300
Here, have some of your favorite
cereal to calm you down.
1075
00:47:36,500 --> 00:47:38,530
Thank you. It was so real.
1076
00:47:38,730 --> 00:47:40,330
All my friends were there
but they'd been
1077
00:47:40,370 --> 00:47:41,500
replaced by strangers.
1078
00:47:41,700 --> 00:47:43,410
I think you were even there
too, Kyle.
1079
00:47:43,610 --> 00:47:45,480
Really? I was there, too?
1080
00:47:45,680 --> 00:47:47,240
Yeah, that's right, Kyle,
you were there
1081
00:47:47,340 --> 00:47:48,780
but you weren't cereal
and I couldn't
1082
00:47:48,804 --> 00:47:49,964
just eat you like I can here.
1083
00:47:51,210 --> 00:47:52,496
No, please, no, Mrs. Kennedy!
1084
00:47:52,520 --> 00:47:53,920
You're so yummy, Kyle!
1085
00:47:54,120 --> 00:47:56,250
It's so good to be home.
1086
00:47:56,450 --> 00:47:58,640
Yum, yum, yum, yum, yum.
1087
00:47:58,664 --> 00:48:00,664
oakislandtk<<<<<
www.opensubtitles.org
82206
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bengali
Bosnian
Bulgarian
Catalan
Cebuano
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Esperanto
Estonian
Finnish
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Gujarati
Haitian Creole
Hawaiian
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Japanese
Kazakh
Khmer
Kurdish (Kurmanji)
Kyrgyz
Lao
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Romanian
Russian
Samoan
Serbian
Sesotho
Shona
Sinhala
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Swahili
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Turkish
Ukrainian
Urdu
Uzbek
Vietnamese
