All language subtitles for my.mum.your.dad.s01e01.1080p.hdtv.h264-cbfm[eztv.re]_track3_eng

(DRAMATIC MUSIC)

I am looking for that forever love.

A blank canvas is the future,

and I'm looking for someone
to paint that blank canvas with.

Love's what makes
everything worth it.

Everyone deserves a second chance.

KATE: If ever there was a place
for romance to blossom, it's here.

Look how beautiful it is!

Nominated by their kids...

Find me a sexy step-mama!

..these single parents
are looking for grown-up love.

I'm nominating my dad because it's
honestly probably his last chance.

And no one knows them better
than their own children.

Probably every guy that she likes,

I'm just like, a solid no.
(LAUGHS)

But there's a huge twist.

Welcome to the surveillance room.

(WILD REACTIONS)

We want you to be involved.

I have the ability to change
the course of my dad's love life.

I am in control here.

Watching in secret, they'll witness
their parents' every move...

I need that
over-the-kitchen-bench feel.

Oh, my God!

..including some
they wish they hadn't...

Oh, my God. They need to get a room.

..as the kids binge on cringe...

How deep do you want it?
Very deep.

(LAUGHTER)

Turn it off, turn it off!

It's like 50 Shades of Grey.

..and play undercover match-makers.
I just want them to make-out.

(CHEERING AND SQUEALING)

They'll realise the road
to true love is not always easy.

I've only been with one person
for 28 years.

My first love was my kids' mother.

She played up with my best mate.

(DRAMATIC MUSIC)

It's easy to forget that they had
whole lives before us.

Oh, my God.

The covert matchmakers will see
their parents like never before.

So you'd date 40-year-olds?

27 was the youngest.
No way!

Oh, my God, stop it!

If I saw Marette online,
I'd swipe right.

They're talking about my mum.

First conversation, I'd be (BLEEP)
blocking the number straight away.

(GASPS)
And the kids will ultimately

have the final say.

Your children will decide

if they think you're right
for each other.

Oh, my God!

Dad's potential love and happiness
lies in my hands.

Today we're here
to give our blessing or not.

What are your intentions
for my father?

I love my mum,
and I will easily say no.

My mum deserves the best, and all
I want to do is see her happy.

Whoever mum chooses, he's gotta be
an amazing guy.

And now cue the epic drone shots,

secluded mansion,

romantic decor,

and CCTV.

What a recipe for love!

Here we go, Dad! Let's do this!

Time to rumble.
Let's go.

This is it.
If this doesn't work,

I'm destined
to be single forever.

You're potentially
gonna find something, but like,

you know, you're all equally
as desperate as each other!

Shut up, Sam! Unbelievable.

# Gimme something new

# Gimme something real

# I'm breaking through. #

What are you looking for?

I'm looking for someone that's

got a bit of fire in their belly,

that's sweet and family-orientated,

and I don't like loud,
obnoxious women.

So you don't like me then?

(LAUGHTER)

My dad is my best friend.

We do everything together,
live together, work together.

This is a once-in-a-lifetime
opportunity to meet someone.

Yep, I'm just gonna go for it.

I'm nominating my dad Shane

because we always joke that we're
going to end up old

and lonely together,
pushing each other

in the old people's home,
and obviously I don't want that

for my dad.

Just be yourself. You'll kill it.
Yeah, I'll give it a shot.

I've been alone for a long time now,

and I'm definitely ready
to find a relationship.

If I met the love of my life
in the retreat,

I'd be over the moon to be honest.

Hopefully she can cook.

It's really hard these days
to just find someone

who's got their shit together.

Dad's last partner
had too many wines

at the family barbecue,
so I said, 'She's gotta go.'

She's a harsh critic.
I'm a harsh critic.

(DANCE MUSIC)

DRHYS: Don't be afraid to

go outside your comfort zone.

I agreed to be nominated
for the retreat,

because it sounded like
a good idea at the time,

and the possibility
of finding forever love.

I was married to Drhys' father
for several years before

Drhys came along, and he passed away
when Drhys was seven months.

I thought that that
was the rest of my life.

You've said put yourself out there -

I think I'm freakin'
putting myself out there.

100 percent you are.

What are you hoping
to get out of this, Mum?

I want to find the one.
I want to find

that special one, and you know that
I wasn't going to

find it in Karratha.
Of course not.

We're from
a small mining town in WA.

Pickings are slim.

It's the same men all across town.

Someone farts
and everyone else knows.

Everyone's stock standard
shelf boys there.

She needs someone hot.

I've been dating actively
for a year,

and that's been an exciting journey.

There have been some...

Can I say?

One-night-stands.

This is my mum, like...

She made it more awkward
than anything, hey?

How are you feeling?
Oh, my God!

Look how beautiful it is!

# Hearts suspended

# Dancing through the light

I'm actually so jealous.

This is something
out of a fairytale.

# Now we're dreaming
we can seize the night. #

Oh, wow.

I love you, Mum.

And I'm proud of you, OK?

Some advice -

be yourself, have fun,
and just find your soulmate.

Worst case, find your best friend.

OK.
I love you.

Ciao, I love you. Bye.

# I'm in this for love, love, love

I guess what's brought me
to this point is the fact

that I'm ready. I'm ready now.

# I'm in this for love.

I am looking for that forever love.

I think that the time is right,

and I do want to be swept
off my feet.

Oh, wow.

KAYLA: This is it. We're here.

Love you so much.

Love you too, beautiful.

Yeah, I would love for Dad to find
that special someone.

Bye, Dad.
Love you.

Find me a sexy step-mama.
I will.

Just excited to see
how it all unfolds.

It's been five years now

since I had a proper,
serious relationship,

so I'm definitely ready.

Hi!
Hello.

Hello, how are you?

I'm very well. How are you?
Good, thank you.

Amazing here, isn't it?
It's beautiful, isn't it?

I'm Petula.
Very nice to meet you. Shane.

Shane. Nice to meet you.
Where are you from, Shane?

I'm from the Gold Coast.

Ah, OK!
Where are you from?

I'm from WA.

Oh, wow.
Yeah, far, far away.

Yeah.
Let's go have a drink.

Have a drink.

My first impression of Shane
is that...

Oh, he's not...

Exciting, eh?

Yes, I know.

That he was shorter than I am.
That was my first impression.

How are you feeling?

Yeah, nervous, nervous.

How about you?
Yeah, same.

All the single parents have been
nominated by their loving children,

and after waving them goodbye,
the kids have been secretly

whisked away to a house just down
the road called The Bunker.

(POP MUSIC)

This will be their home
while their folks

are in the retreat, but for now,

they think they're here
to talk about life

with their single parents.

Wow, look at this!

Hello.
Hello, how are you?

I'm fabulous. How are you?

Good. You look bloody fabulous.
Thank you.

I'm Drhys.
Kayla - nice to meet you.

You too. How have you been?

Good! I'm so excited.
You pumped? Help yourself.

I've just dropped off my dad, Shane.

I'm so excited for him.

I just dropped off Mum, Petula.

Tell me about your mum.
What would you say is her type?

Tall, dark and handsome.

Ooh, OK, OK.

Well, Dad's type
I would say is blonde.

I just want someone
that's fun and easy-going.

Definitely got to fit in
with the family.

('DROP IT' BY ROSS GILLMARTIN)

Milli's nominated me
for the retreat

because I've just chosen
so badly in the past.

Duds.
I don't know about duds!

What red flags
do you think I need to avoid?

Controlling behaviour.
Yes.

Alcoholics.

Alcoholics, yes.

Recently, I've had too many
party boys.

Yeah. We don't want that.
We don't

want any of them.

I want this one to be the one.
She's got the looks,

the amazing daughter,
and she just needs

to be treated like the queen
that she is.

I'm gonna miss you like crazy.
Yeah, same.

Absolutely miss you like crazy.
Milli and I spend

every minute of every day together,

live together, work together,
go out together...

I get homesick

when I'm away.

This is, like, gonna be real hard.

Shit, I better not
have any fat rolls...

This is gonna be my biggest concern

in the house,
is every time I sit down...

Yeah, but the more act
like you care...

You've just gotta relax.
You can't be like this all the time.

I told you, it looks worse.

See you.
Aw!

I genuinely feel like

I have never been more ready
to meet the person that I'm going to

be with for the rest of my life,

and so I'm hoping that this is it.

Go find me a daddy.

(LAUGHTER)

I'll do my best.
OK.

Love you.

(LAUGHTER)

Bye.

Have fun.
You'll do amazing.

You look gorgeous.
Thanks.

Mwah.

Yeah, WA's awesome.
I love to travel.

It's such a big state.

Hi!
Hello.

Hey.

Oh, my gosh.

This is insane.

Crazy, hey?
Welcome.

Wow.

Oh, wow. Look at this girl!

She's a beautiful woman.

God, what a day, hey?
Have a drink.

Do you want a drink?
Oh, gosh. I need a drink.

Kristy bubbled in
with a big beautiful smile.

Do you want me to open it for you?
I'd like that,

thank you.
I'm normally attracted to blondes.

Yeah, what a start. (CHUCKLES)

Who dropped you off today?

Milli, my daughter.

Lovely.
I know.

It was actually quite emotional

seeing her go off.

But she's gone now.
(LAUGHTER)

Now the party starts!

Yeah, Milli's really keen for me
to meet someone.

In the past, my choices
haven't always ended up very well,

so I'm not going to put up
with somebody that's not...

Yeah.
..just right.

Yeah.

And I think the older you get,

the more you do know what you love
and what's important to you.

It has to add value to your life.

Yeah.

# We're on fire

I'm sure I'm going to meet
some lovely people in there,

and hopefully find
the love of my life.

My dad's my best friend.

We get along like a house on fire.

# We're on fire

I've been in the fire brigade
for 20 years.

I'm looking for someone to start
that next chapter with, and to

get off the endless texting
on dating apps.

Alright, mate.
Have fun.

Love you, buddy.

Loneliness is the darkest
of all evils,

and I don't want to be lonely.

I'm excited to get in there
and meet all these ladies.

OK. Relax.

(LAUGHS)

We are from Victor Harbour
in South Australia.

It's definitely referred to
as God's waiting room.

It's not a big hunting ground
for singles.

I haven't been on a date
for over 18 months.

You'll be fine.
Just don't be yourself.

Just don't be myself?

Yeah, don't be yourself.
(LAUGHS)

Thanks, little princess.
Don't call me that!

Please don't call me that.

Holy crap.
What have I gotten myself into?

KATE: What a delicious web
we're weaving!

Hopeful single parents
and their kids completely oblivious

about what they're in for.

Hello!
Hello.

Welcome.
Hey.

Hello.

How are we?

How are you going?
What's your name?

Eliza.

Hey. We're a Christmas tree.

(LAUGHTER)

Hun, it's time.

I only said yes to you
so that you would leave me alone.

I didn't think we'd end up here.

# Got a mind to change

It was just the perfect opportunity
to get her out of her comfort zone.

I'm always pestering her, like,
'You need to do something.'

The past six years,
she's done nothing.

He's always telling me off.

I'm not telling you off.
'You need Botox, you need this,

you need that.' Oh!

All you know is your marriage
of 28 years.

I feel like
the 28 years of marriage,

I was really a single mum,

because my ex-husband
was never around.

I never had a companion
or someone that I can lean on,

or you know, make me feel safe,

or someone that I could trust,
and yeah.

I knew he was having an affair,
but it was always, 'No, no, no.'

And at the end, I thought,
you know what?

I can't do this anymore.
I'm too tired.

You know, Sam,
he wants to see me happy

and enjoy the rest of my life.

It's a whole world out there.

# Oh-oh-oh

# I would love to let go. #

I think I'm just scared,
because my heart got broken.

I've never dated anyone.

I haven't been with anyone except
for my husband, and you know,

I stayed in the marriage

because my kids
were my number one priority.

I'm so proud of you for doing this.
Oh, I'm so nervous!

I love you so much.
Aw.

You're a bad bitch. You're hard.

Love you.
Love you.

Bye, see you later.
Bye.

Bye.

Remember that you're hot.

It's time for me to find someone

to treat me the way I want
to be treated, and to be loved.

I think I'm ready.

You need to believe so.
I think I - well, I'm here!

Hi!

(GREETINGS EXCHANGED)
(LAUGHS)

I'm going to kill my son.
(LAUGHTER)

So my son brought me here.

He goes to me, 'It's about time
you got off that couch, Mum.' I go,

'OK, thanks Sam.
(LAUGHTER)

SHANE: Mel, she was another
beautiful woman. She's wonderful.

Been married for 28 years,
been on my own for six years.

And so have you dated at all...
No.

So nothing?
Nothing, nothing, nothing,

nothing. It's concrete shut.
That's it. Nothing.

Nothing!
Nothing. Nothing's happening.

Nothing?
Nup. Nothing.

Oh, she's...

(LAUGHS)

They'll need dynamite
to get in there.

(LAUGHTER)

And here we are today.

Wow.
Well done.

Cheers.
Yes, thank you.

Next, one more mum...

BOTH: Perfect, perfect, perfect!

Hi!
Wow.

(CHUCKLES)

..and one more dad
rock up to the retreat.

I'm Darren.
MEL: Very suave in his suit.

Like, hey.

DARREN: Coming on
an experience like this,

I'm not going to hold back anymore,
and hopefully I'll find love.

And the kids' worlds
are set to be turned upside down.

You think you're here to talk about
your single parents,

but the role
is slightly bigger than that.

Stop!
(LAUGHS)

(DRAMATIC MUSIC BUILDS)

(LAUGHS)

What the hell is going on?

KATE: In this retreat made for love,

the one thing we don't want to see
are stony-faced people.

Look at this one! He's given up.

But thankfully, our single parents

still have plenty of life
left in them.

So what state are you from?
CHARLIE: South Australia.

Got a little property down there
and got a little distillery,

make a bit of gin and vodka...

Oh, wow.
..and that sort of stuff, so yeah.

What about you guys?
I'm a hairdresser.

I'm a firey.
I own a construction business.

I'm actually a psychic medium.

Yep.

So she knew you were coming.

So I knew, as you walked around
the corner...

(LAUGHTER)

Do you know who's coming next?

(LAUGHTER)

You know, don't you?
MEL: And what she's wearing?

I can feel the energy
coming towards me!

Perfect.

BOTH: Perfect, perfect, perfect!

Let's do this, bitches!

Woohoo! You're going to have

so much fun.
Oh, my God.

Nerve, nerve, nerve.

Glitter, glitter, glitter.
Glitter, glitter, glitter.

We get mistaken for sisters

all the time.
All the time.

Ton and I
literally do everything together.

Our Friday night consists of
going through

dating apps, going yeah,
nah, yeah, nah,

oh my God, hilarious.
And probably every guy

that she likes, I'm just like,
solid no.

# I'm strong, I'm confident

# You can call me the boss. #
My mum

normally goes for
the typical red flag guy.

Narcissistic.
Yeah.

Egotistical.
Controlling.

It's just player after player.

It's like, oh my God,
it's exhausting isn't it?

She really just deserves someone
that's going to be genuine,

and love her for who she is.

I need a chewie or something.
I've got dog breath.

What's going on?
Have you got anything in the bag?

No, no, no.
You've got nothing?

No, we have nothing.
Repeat, we have no gum.

You look gorgeous.

Boobs. Everything's in?
There's nothing out?

Yep.
OK.

Alright. Love you.
Bye, love you.

Good luck.

(EXHALES)

# Suicide squad
when they talk about us

# But when we show up,
ain't no talk around us. #

Fairy godmother.
She promised every little girl

their Prince Charming.
Will, tick-tock.

Where is he? Like, where is he?
(LAUGHS) Hello?

Oh, my God.

Hello.
Hi!

Wow. (CHUCKLES)

The silence.
The awkward silence.

I'm Marette.

Cheers.
ALL: Cheers.

As far as attractiveness goes,

Marette would be up there
on the high scale.

I'd like to get to know
Marette more.

So what do you do?

I've got two jobs. So, I work for
a telecommunications company.

I get paid to talk,
very good at my job.

And then my daughter and I opened

a salon in Scarborough
last year,

so we do teeth whitening, skin
treatments,

so a few beauty things, yeah.

MEL: Nice. So we've got two

beauty people here today.
Well, I'm not beauty,

remember.
Well, hair, and make-up.

Hair. I do hair.
Oh, that's nice.

I was like, oh my gosh.
This is a lot.

Do you really think there is real,
genuine guys out there anymore?

There is.
MARETTE: Oh, sorry.

Yeah, that's so rude!

Does anyone want wine?

God, Heath.
You pour drinks, and here you are

saying there's no decent men left.

It is what it is.

Down the road, more kids
are landing at the bunker,

their home away from home.

Oh, my goodness.
I'm so excited to meet everybody.

They think they're here to share
stories about their single parents,

but watch this space.
Hello!

SAM: Hi.

Give me a moment.

Who's gonna be my new brother
or sister?

(LAUGHTER)

Just have fun with it, you know?
Just be me?

Yeah, you, but maybe

tone it down a little bit.
Tone down? (LAUGHS)

I've nominated my dad
for the retreat.

He bases most of his relationships
on that initial spark.

It would be nice for him I guess
to develop deeper connections with

women that are more towards his age.

Just give stuff a chance, you know?

Just enjoy the company of some

different people
that you wouldn't normally.

I like meeting new people.

I love going out with friends
on a Friday night

and we have a dance
and have a drink,

but I'm sick and tired
of coming home on my own.

But I want that passion.
I want that fun, that naughtiness.

Spark and passion
are still big for me,

but hopefully, fingers crossed...

For the one?
..I have a spark, I find the one.

My unicorn that I've been
looking for, for years.

I think he's struggled to find love
because he retreats too quickly,

and he probably needs to put some
more time and effort into it.

I take on board what Tess said.

I think if it's gonna be
a long-term relationship,

you've got to invest more,

because you're not dating
an individual,

you're dating a family,
and you're creating

a family environment.
Alright.

You look gorgeous.

So do you, babe.

# Are you ready?

# Here it comes

Every night I come home on my own.

I want to stop doing that. I want to
meet someone and change my life.

If I met the love of my life
in this retreat,

I'd be rapt.

Oh, look at this!

Hello.

(LAUGHS) I'm Darren.

MEL: Very suave in his suit,

very well-dressed.

Yeah, he knew, like, hey -
it's me coming in now.

Marette. Nice to meet you.
DARREN: How are you?

MARATTE: Darren,
he's very good-looking.

I'm dying to know more about him.

Petula.
Petula.

He looked really nice,
and he was tall.

That smile.

I am instantly drawn to Darren.

You ladies are looking lovely.

Thank you.

Straight away, I just thought,

smooth operator.
So I was like, mmm,

I've got to be wary
of the smooth operators.

I run a luxury travel business

with my daughter Tess,

who nominated me.
She nominate you?

Yeah, she nominated me.

She dobbed me in. She said, 'Dad,
you've gotta do this. It's fun.'

And what's the worst
that can happen? Yeah.

Correct.
That's what I always say to my kids.

What's the worst that can happen?
You just try everything.

Worst that can happen, you go home.
That's it. You've gotta try.

Marette is a gorgeous girl,

great body, a lot of what I like
in a person.

She looks very similar
to one of my exes.

In many ways, she's my type of girl.

Oh, my God.
He's very good-looking.

I went off dating websites
probably a year ago.

I'm 56, right?
As soon as you get over 50,

the likes decrease hugely.

Coming onto an experience like this,

I'm not going to hold back anymore,
and hopefully I'll find love.

# That's hot. #
Woo!

How good's this?
Oh, wow. This is nice.

Love the styling. Wow.

KATE: I'm happy you love
the styling,

but finding a love interest
to set your world on fire

is what it's really all about.

Let me stoke that fire up

a bit, for you.
Yeah, go. Come on. Hey.

Mmm, always handy to have a firey
around the place.

So, while Heath warms things up
at the retreat,

I'm off to the kids' bunker
just down the road.

# Just turn it on

Finally, now I'm on Channel Nine,
I get a rockstar entrance -

the sexy slow-mo, banging track,

and hot from fashion week,
I'm bringing the chic.

Oh, yeah. It's a thing.

KAYLA: Ooh, hello!

(GREETINGS EXCHANGED)
Hello, everybody.

Hello.
Oh, my Gosh. A vision in pink.

How is this?
This is quite a vibe, huh?

I love it.

Kate walks into the bunker,

and I'm thinking,

whoa, what's going on here.

Have you all had a chance

to get to know one another?
We are very well acquainted.

I know that you think you're all

here to talk about
your single parents.

The role that you're
going to be playing

is slightly bigger than that.

Stop!
(LAUGHS)

Do you want to find out more?
Yes.

OK, follow me.

(SQUEALING)

# So let the games begin

# Let the games begin

Oh, my God.
Come on in, guys.

(LAUGHS)

Oh, my God. The screen.
Oh, my God!

Unreal.

# Let the games begin. #
So good.

We want you to be involved

in your parents' time
at the retreat,

and when I say involved,
I mean really involved.

Oh, my God!

So, welcome to the...

Surveillance room.

(SQUEALING AND LAUGHTER)

Oh, my God!

My heart sank to my stomach.

Like, what the hell is going on?

Oh, my God. I can't! Cut it!

Coming up...

It's date night.

..there's no time to muck around...

Look at my mum's face!
I thought, oh my God.

I don't know how to date.

..as the kids settle in
to binge on cringe.

Ugh.
KRISTY: Fondue.

Oh, my God. Please feed her.

Oh, no.
(LAUGHS)

Are you getting really hot?
Yeah.

Oh, Mum, don't.

Through the lens
of this unique experience...

My ex-husband rung me and told me

he got caught having the affair.

..secrets are revealed.

It's gonna take
a very special person

for me to feel safe again.

She played up with my best mate.

Oh, my God.

And uncensored viewing...

How do you reckon
the kids are going?

..drops a bomb at the bunker.

If I saw Marette, I'd swipe right.

What? What is he saying?

First conversation, I'd be (BLEEP)
blocking the number straight away.

It was just horrible to hear.

That's your mum.
If it were up to me,

see ya later!

Welcome to the Surveillance Room.

And of course, the word surveillance
suggests spying.

(SQUEALING AND LAUGHTER)

Oh, no way!

With the kids about to tune into
some highly-classified content.

Oh, my God.
This makes me extremely nervous.

I can't believe I'm spying on Dad.

I'm feeling like a hundred thousand
million emotions.

It feels like we're doing
something wrong here, but

I can't look away from the screen.

ALL: Cheers.

Your parents have no idea

that you'll be watching
their every move.

They think that everything
planned for them

is done by dating consultants,

and it will be,
but the dating consultants...

(POP MUSIC BUILDS)

..are actually you.
Yass!

So basically
I'm a dating consultant now.

You're joking.
You have to be kidding right now.

My heart sank to my stomach.

Scared, excited, intrigued.

Am I up to the task of being

a dating consultant? I think I am.

I'll do anything to help Mum
on her mission to find love.

I've got a little bit more news.

Oh, goodness me.
More?

During your stay, you're going to
all compete in challenges.

The challenges will give you
the chance to influence

your parents' experience

at the retreat in a major way.
Wow.

Like having a say in who they date,
or who they don't date,

and if your parents
make a special connection,

they will go to

a blessing ceremony...
Wow.

..where you have the power
to approve

or disapprove of the union.

Oh, my goodness.
Oh, my God.

You're gonna have
a really big decision to make.

It's pretty full on.

It is extremely stressful to know

that Dad's potential love
and happiness

lies in my hands.

This is just so crazy.
It's very overwhelming.

Start paying attention to
what you see.

Oh, OK.

And I will see you very soon.

Have fun.
ALL: Bye!

The tables have turned
from Mum giving me advice.

It's my turn to give her advice.

From the shadows, give a little bit
of a push here,

a little bit of a push there.

I'm the dating consultant now.

Now let's get some spicy gossip!

Dating apps are brutal
on your self-esteem. Brutal.

KAYLA: Who's the green mum again?

My mum.

Oh, my God. Your mum is stunning.

Yeah, I know. She's pretty hot.
Wow.

(LAUGHTER)

Whose dad is in the black?
That's my dad there.

Black shirt. Short sleeve.

Whose dad is the one...
The white shirt?

My dad.
He's handsome.

Your dad's a DILF.

(LAUGHTER)

If he doesn't find love in there,
he can come see me.

(LAUGHTER)

My daughter's telling me, she goes,
'Dad, be ten percent of yourself.'

Yeah. (LAUGHS) Tone it down.
Yeah, just tone it down.

Dad has no filter.

He over-shares, too, so just...

Back then, when I was 30, 35,
marriage was for life for me.

But I won't put up with things
I don't want to put up with.

I won't settle.

This is gonna be incredibly awkward.

I know there's a lot of things that
I don't want to know about Dad.

I need that - sorry,
but over-the-kitchen-bench feel.

Oh!

(GROANS)
Oh, my God,

please stop. I can't.

I need that sort of
'have sex on the couch' shit.

That sort of stuff.
I need that sort of passion.

Oh, my God.
Oh, my gosh.

I can't. I can't.

Like... (GROANS)

I was a Stepford Wife
in a very controlled marriage.

When I left, I finally chose myself.

I refer to myself as Rapunzel,

because I built my walls up so high,

they're that high, I am Rapunzel.

But I am ready.
I am ready to find somebody.

Someone once said to me,
the little things

that you find that you love about
someone when you first meet them

are the things you hate the most
about them when you leave them.

100 percent.

And I was like, wow, that really

resonated with me and my husband.
Like... (RASPY BREATHING)

Oh, my God. I literally want to put
a pillow on your face.

(LAUGHS)

Was that your mum?

My mum has so many walls up
because she's just been through hell

with men, and I feel like that's
the reason why she really struggles

to find someone
that she can connect with.

I want the fairytale.
That godfairy whatever her name is

promised every little girl
a Prince Charming,

well (BLEEP). Tick-tock, (BLEEP).
Where is he?

Like, come on!
(IMITATES BEEPING)

I've done the hard - yeah, I know!

(LAUGHTER)

This is so good.

I feel like it is perfect for me
to just be watching my mum

be her authentic self,
but she needs to find a man.

That's why we're here,
to find a genuine connection.

Mmm, nothing says romance
more than a private pond.

And a manicured bush. (CHUCKLES)

So let's hope our singles
are in the mood to dive right in.

So Kris, what's your dating history?

I wouldn't say the last three years
have all been terrible.

I've actually really enjoyed it.

I feel so excited that I could meet
my next partner.

I just feel forever optimistic
that love is coming for me.

I did dating apps for a little bit.

What's your age range?
My age range usually

is 35 to 50 I think.

See, I told you.
All girls put 50 on their - as a...

That's why I put my age at 48,
and then say I'm 56.

I definitely had my fun. There were
days I did three dates in a day.

Oh! High five!

Your mum's a boss. She's so cool.

People say, if he takes you
out to dinner,

if he pays, you have to put out.

(LAUGHTER)

Well that's not happening.
I'll pay for myself. That's why

I say I'll pay for myself.
I dunno who you're talking to.

A gentleman should pay for the date.
That's my belief.

KAYLA: Oh, your mum
just looked Dad up and down.

(LAUGHS)
Stop it!

I've never once had a date
where I didn't pay. Not once.

Aw, what a gentleman.

(SQUEAL OF DELIGHT)

KRISTY: With Shane,
I just notice every time he speaks,

he's just so respectful.

He's just a really nice,
genuine guy.

I wonder what these matchmakers
are gonna do.

KAYLA: They have no idea
we're watching.

Yeah.
No idea.

KATE: Being in the retreat
is all about making connections,

and gin distiller Charlie is hoping
he can intoxicate the ladies.

So Easter time,
have you heard of agave?

Agave...
Yeah,

the plants.
Yeah.

So, my sister goes,
'Let's get rid of this plant. So

I've got the chainsaw.
I'm cutting these big fronds off."

Oh, my God.

I love my dad, but he just goes off

on these tangents.

So I'm cutting them down,
squirting all up my arms.

Most people get it on
and get a bit itchy,

like my brother-in-law did.

Oh, wow.

(GROANS)

Just huge blisters they turned into.

Lucky I had glasses on.
But I had no idea.

Oh, wow.

Charlie, you know, you've just gotta
reel it in sometimes.

Just relax.

Steroid cream, you've got to rub in.

Where else are you rubbing
that steroid cream?

Yeah.

(LAUGHTER)

Ah.
It would be lovely

if he actually
just allowed someone else to speak.

Actually, how is everyone feeling?

I feel like I'm prying, but I also
used to do this shit

when I was younger and just hide
behind the walls and listen...

(LAUGHTER)
..and listen to

my mum's conversations, so...

It's nothing new for me.

So we're going actually over for
a wedding to the Greek Islands.

That's on my bucket list.

I go to my kids if I...
So you haven't

travelled?
Nah.

And you're Greek?

(SAD MUSIC)

If someone told me years ago,

'You'll end up here,'
I'd say, 'Yep no worries.

Not happening, not happening.'

I haven't dated since I got married.

I met my husband at 22.

I don't know about dating.
I don't know how to date.

So I've just been a homebody.

You know, lying on the couch
and just doing nothing

in my safe bubble.

Look I've been to Greece.
Look I went to Greece twice

with my parents when I was little,
and then I went for my 50th

with my sister and my daughter,
and that's when my ex-husband

rung me and told me he got caught
having the affair.

(TENDER MUSIC)

He got caught having the affair?

Before I went overseas -
it was my 50th...

How long are we talking?

So, six years ago.
Yep.

This is your...
My ex, yep.

He rings me one day,

and then he goes, 'Someone saw me,'

and I knew straight away.
So had you suspected

he was having an affair?
Mmm.

(SAD MUSIC)

I don't know. I think
I'm just scared to let myself go,

because I don't want to get
my heart broken again.

Um...

Yeah.

My heart got broken so bad that...

You know, I loved my ex-husband
so much that I put up with so much,

and that trust was broken,
and he never made me feel safe.

I always felt alone.

It was hard.

But because of what happened,

I was depressed.
Mmm.

KAYLA: Is your mum quite emotional?
Yeah.

She's like a big soft...
I can feel that.

I was gonna say, I can really
feel that, and I can see it.

Because I was hurt so much,

I think its going to take
a very special person

for me to feel safe again, yeah.

And it's going to take
a while I think.

And then I was sitting there
in Greece,

and I was thinking,
you know what?

I'm not gonna go back.

I'm not gonna go back to him.

I thought to myself, no,
I'm going to ask him to leave.

So I got back home and I said
to him, 'You need to leave now.

Enough is enough.'

Good for you.

Thank you.
Absolutely.

Thank you.

KIDS: Aw.

You're a smokin' hot woman,
and it's your time now.

But it's like my son said,
'Mum, it's your time.

You need to go out
and enjoy yourself now,'

but it's gonna be hard,
but I think I'll get there.

How are you feeling?

I think it's just good that they're
having a chat amongst each other.

I'm really, really proud of her.
I think it's really great to see her

be open and receptive and just talk
and discuss things with someone.

These are exactly the reasons why

I nominated my mum to go into
the retreat. She's amazing.

But she needs to believe it
for herself.

I 110 percent believe that my mum
will find love.

Next...
It's date night.

Look at my mum's face!

On the most unique dating experience
to hit the screens...

That's a bit scandalous.

..things get spicy with a threesome.

There is a little bit of
a love triangle.

She has fanny flutters.

And who's left dateless...

Oh, you're not going to choose?

..in a decision that shocks
the retreat.

(GASPS)

(FUNKY MUSIC)

NARRATOR: Right now, our eight

perfect strangers
are sizing each other up in the hope

of finding love again.

What they don't know is that
their kids are spying on them.

I've dated older girls
and I've dated younger.

I don't think that age is something
you put on a relationship.

So you had some nice chat?

Yeah, we did actually.

Yeah?

I like Darren.

Older guy, yeah.
The tall one, yep.

So that's...

Smooth criminal.

(CHUCKLES)

# Bang-bang, bang-bang

# You'd look awfully good on me

# You'd look awfully good on me. #

Well hello.

(EXCHANGE OF GREETINGS)

Kate walked in...
KATE: Surprise.

..and we've got no idea
what's happening, which is great.

That's part of the fun of it.

I've got something to tell you.

Oh, my God! Here we go!

They're gonna be shocked.

It's date night.

(POP MUSIC)

That early?
Oh, my God!

(KIDS LAUGH)

Look at my mum's face!

Look at
my mum's face!

Your mum - look at my mum!

She is not having it.

I told you, there's not
a second to waste.

You are here to make a connection,

and if you don't,

your time at the retreat

might come to an end
sooner rather than later.

(GASPS)
Oh!

So, put yourselves out there
and get to know everyone.

Ladies,

which of these lovely men
would you like to go on a date with?

Oh, my God.

SHANE: If I don't get picked,
I think it would be

a bit of a blow to the confidence.

Oh, my God.
If my dad doesn't get chosen,

I will actually cry.

Aw.

Mel, who would you like to
go on a date with?

I took a sleeping tablet.

(LAUGHTER)
She did.

OK.
I'm gonna be off in a nana soon.

That'll be a fun date.
(LAUGHTER)

While you're still awake,

who would you like to choose
to go on a date with?

(PLAYFUL MUSIC)
Come on.

OK, I pick...

Shane.
(SQUEALS)

My mum, your dad!

Oh, my God.
My dad's embarrassed.

Shane, are you excited to be
going on a date?

Yes, I am excited.
That's what we're here for.

I'm so excited for my first date
in a million years.

My heart's just beating
out of my chest,

because I've never done
anything like this.

I'm glad she's warming up though.

She was so anxious.
Petula.

Oh!

(CHUCKLES)
Yes?

Which of these divine gentlemen
would you like to date tonight?

Um...

(LAUGHTER)

I'll go Darren.

(LAUGHTER AND SQUEALING)

Yes!

Look at his face, look at his face.

How do you feel, Darren?

I'm happy.

Petula, I really like
her confidence,

and she's an attractive girl.
I'm really looking forward to it.

Kristy.
Yep.

Who will you choose?

Look, he's a popular man.

Shane.
Ooh, Shane!

You're hot property, Shane!
Mmm-mmm-mmm!

Mel and Kristy both want to go on
a date with you.

There is a bit of a love triangle
with Mel, myself

and Shane.
I think everyone was so shocked.

It is a bit of an ego boost,
getting 50 percent of the women

wanting to date you on
the first night, which is fantastic.

Marette, lucky last.

Pick me. Please pick me.

It's too soon for me.

I haven't really found
a connection yet, so,

I'm happy to sit one out.

Aw.
Oh, my God.

Stop it.

Oh you're not gonna choose?

No, I feel fine.
OK, OK.

Happy with my decision.

Why did you make that decision?

Because I just don't feel
a connection yet.

OK.

I'm not gonna sit here and lie,
I was really disappointed

about my mum's decision,

not going on a date.
She's putting up walls.

We're here for her to
get out of her comfort zone,

and I'm just gonna see
how things pan out.

Marette, you, Heath and Charlie

will be sitting this one out.
Yes.

(PENSIVE MUSIC)

Yeah, what happened?

I was pretty shocked to be honest.
I was starting to get frustrated.

Like, what is wrong with me?

We are here to connect,

but I think Marette
was very closed off,

and it didn't matter who it was.

Crikeys. It was like

missing out on getting in

the football team
for the first time.

Marette saying no to a date tonight,

I thought it was
a wasted opportunity,

and I'm no Paris model, but even if
we weren't her ideal choice,

I wonder what she's doing here
to be honest.

Well let's get excited
for date night.

Petula and Darren...

Instantly I was thinking, OK,
we're gonna go out for dinner,

we're gonna go for a walk...
..you are heading

to the spa.

(LAUGHTER)
Oh, my God.

(KIDS EXPRESS INTRIGUE)
No way!

I use humour to hide my emotions,

and I think I do it really well,
but clearly I don't.

DRHYS: This will be awesome
to watch. She just doesn't do this.

I'm going for a (BLEEP) spa.
Do you want

my shower cap?
That's my worst nightmare.

I would have worn the shower cap,
I don't care.

(BLEEP).
Do you want the shower cap?

(BLEEP). No. No, actually,
I'll just tie my hair up.

I'm really excited.
Getting into your bathers

and going into a spa,
it's the best date you could have.

(FUNKY MUSIC)

(LAUGHTER AND SQUEALING)

Oh, my God!

On the knuckles!
On the knuckles!

Oh, my God!

It is terribly cringey.

I almost died when I saw him
doing those push-ups.

Oh, my God.
Oh, my gosh.

Stop it.
Stop it!

(UPBEAT MUSIC)

Here we go.
This is so romantic, isn't it?

I know. (LAUGHS)

DRHYS: How are you feeling,
watching your dad?

I'm just like,
nervous on what, like...

What he's gonna say?
..what he says,

what the conversation is.

So have you dated much lately?

No, but I've only been single

for the last year.
Yep.

The guy that I was seeing, he was
just after friends with benefits,

and I just didn't want that.
Yeah.

I actually want somebody,
when I'm 80, and sitting on

that park bench, that I can laugh
and joke with and reminisce.

I like your mum.

She's not here to play games.
Exactly.

Cheers.
Cheers.

Mum's secret move is one-on-ones.
She's a psychic medium.

She'll read him
before he can read her.

Aw, slay.

I dated a girl who was
a personal trainer, tall,

skinny, blonde,

and I won't date that now.

Anyone with all the work done,
I'd veer away from, you know?

I know friends that have had
work done, and that's fine.

I had a penis reduction,
and it worked out well.

(LAUGHS)

Oh! (LAUGHS)

(LAUGHS) Yes.

I feel like she's opened up
her body language.

Oh, 100 percent.

I think she's reading the energy.

I'm surprised by Darren.

There was familiarity, there was

no awkwardness, and he was funny
and he was bubbly, and I was like,

OK, this is -
yeah, we can leave now. (LAUGHS)

KAYLA: I feel like they're
getting pretty close.

What do you guys think?

Are you getting really hot?

It is really hot.

Oh!

I can feel the energy.

SAM: It's getting a bit frisky here.

I'll take your glass.

It's going to be freezing
when we get out.

I didn't want to get out of the spa

and she jumped out.

I think it went well.

DRHYS: Thoughts on Darren P he is
a bit of a showman out there.

Overconfident and that's
not really mum's style.

I'm very sceptical.

You know, I don't want to see Mum
go through any more heartbreak.

NARRATOR: Now, we have
old two-dates Shane

with Mel on her first date
in decades.

I forced my mum to come here,

basically, to get her
out of her comfort zone.

After leaving my dad, she became
so complacent

and I'm just like, "Babe, you need
to go out and do something."

How you feeling?

Not bad.
Not bad?

Every big journey
starts with a step.

Oh!

Mel, I think she is just
a beautiful soul

and I feel like
he's really vibing her.

So, have you gone on dating apps?
Yeah, yeah.

See, I'm too scared to do all that.

It's good.

With my luck, I'd probably get,
you know, catfished

and then, you know, they've stolen
my identity

and I'm in the gutter somewhere
being, you know, stabbed to death.

(LAUGHTER)

She watches
too much 'Law and Order'.

Do you see yourself with someone?

Yeah. Oh...

You know, when you've been someone
for 28 years,

I think you have that...

..a bit scared, trust issues.

Getting to talk to Mel, I'm trying
to chisel away a few layers of her

to get to know her more.

What do you want to do?

I just want to find that partner
that you can enjoy life with.

That's what you need.
We just need a companion.

Yeah.

Shane is a very nice guy,
easy to talk to.

I felt comfortable
and I felt safe with Shane.

He's just really genuine.

Well, nice...
Yeah, very nice date.

..fresh flowers.

Yeah, I went to a lot of trouble.

Oh, thank you very much.

(LAUGHS)

You're welcome.

Oh, my god!

They are like high school kids,
right?

They're so giddy.

Told you, he's a charmer.

I'm just really proud of her
for putting herself out there.

# What do you want to go...

NARRATOR: With no time to catch
his breath...

Come on, let's go.
Where do we have to go?

..Shane's off on his second date
with Kristy.

Shane is just a stud.

Mel and Kristy, don't know
what he's going on,

but I need a bit of it.

..for a night that involves
my favourite aphrodisiac,

cheese.

Shivers, we've got a bit
of a fondue set.

Wow.

(GASPS) They sat close.

That's my dad's type on paper.

How tall is he?

Um, like taller than me.
I don't know.

Yeah, I think she likes Shane.

He's not someone that I thought
she would go for.

But obviously, like, she has
an attraction towards him.

KRISTY: First day, first date.

I can't know
if these are butterflies

or my limbs are limp.

I don't know what's going on.

So, cheers to our first date.

First date.

I'm feeling really protective
at this point.

I do have quite a lot
of high standards.

In the outside world,
I definitely have an input

when it comes to any dates
he goes on.

So, when was your last relationship?

I've been divorced for five years.

Yeah, five years. Yeah.

I've had a couple of false starts,
so speak.

False starts. I like that.

Kristy, I was attracted to straight
away but I am...

I'm not sure.

I wish I had Kayla's input

because normally, I don't go
on a date without getting her input.

Fondue.

(CHUCKLES)
Could be very messy.

I don't think I've ever had it.

You going to have a go?
Yeah, why not?

I don't know how to do it.

Just get in there and you can go
a bit heavier than that.

Come on, Dad. Feed her some cheese.

Be a bit more generous
with the cheese.

On your other P oh, no!

KAYLA: Oh!

(LAUGHTER)

He's nervous.

He's so nervous. He dropped it.

Alright, take two.

See how we go.

Oh, my god. Please feed her.

Good.

Oh, you!

Yes!
Fatty! Come on, Dad.

How crazy.

Just wouldn't...

..have thought that here we'd be
on our first night in.

Still a lot of life
still left in us.

It's just that missing piece
sometimes.

Just the old missing piece
of the puzzle.

Yeah, yeah.

Your mum has fanny flutters.

She has fanny flutters.
Honestly.

For sure.

How do you normally finish a date?

Um... Well, it depends.

It all depends.

I just want them to make out.

Have a cheeky peck.

That's how you finish a date.

(LAUGHS)

(LAUGHTER)
Wow.

Yeah, it was great. I loved it.

He's just tick, tick, tick.

Is this going to be the first dad
I've ever had?

Oh!
(LAUGHTER)

Oh, my god.

NARRATOR: Coming up...

So, she played up with my best mate.

..when the parents unpack
their past...

I slept in the spare room
for seven years.

(GASPS)

It was very raw.

..the kids and see them
in a whole new light.

It's easy to forget
they had whole lives before us.

NARRATOR: And later,
a locker room chat...

I don't think Retty's
has got much done.

I think it's just the eyelashes.
A bit in the lips, I reckon.

(GASPS)

..could end one dad's time
at the retreat.

First conversation, I'd be (BLEEP)
blocking the number straight away.

..when the kids start calling
the shots.

That's crazy.

Now, I'm literally in control.

NARRATOR: As usual,
when kids wake up,

the first thing they do
is look at their screens.

Morning!

Good morning.

I love that all the men are in
the kitchen cooking for everybody.

It's a good sign.
Up early, whipping it up.

I feel like the women will be wowed.

Good morning, everybody.

(OVERLAPPING GREETINGS)
Aren't you all done up?

Not really, but...

Oh, wow! You look nice.

(LAUGHS)

So, this is a bit awkward.

My mum, Mel, went on a date
with your dad, Shane, last night,

and your mum, Kristy, also went
on a date last night with Shane.

It's a little bit
of a love triangle.

The old bombshells.

I guess may the best mum win.

(LAUGHTER)

Yesterday was full on, wasn't it?

Alright, so how was your date?

It was nice.

I'd go on another date with Darren,
hands down.

There was interest there.

It wasn't just, "Oh, yeah.
What do you do? Read my palm."

You know?

So, that was really nice.

Now, we have boyfriends.

(LAUGHTER)

MARETTE: They all went
on their dates.

It's fine.

And I was like, "OK. Awesome."

I want to get the butterflies.

But it's all just a bit
overwhelming.

I am ready to find somebody
and stop being Rapunzel

and yeah, I am,

but I just wasn't
comfortable to go on a date.

Well, I dunno. If there's an...

I'm just not a person that's going
to just go on a date with someone.

I don't want to go on a date
with anybody.

Stop being a baby and just do it.

TONYA: I knew that this
was going to happen.

Hilarious.

Alright, if there's someone new
coming in,

then I might go on a date with them.

Don't say might.

I just don't think you're going
to get enough

if you're just waiting
for some hot 40 to 60-year-old.

You've got to try.
You can't just do nothing.

I was really pissed off
watching my mum.

I literally wish I could
just be messaging her,

like, "Mum, you've just got to
let your guard down"

"and just learn to trust and learn
to accept, you know, other people"

"and just be open
to, like, this experience."

"This is what we're here for."

She needs to break down her walls.

# When the walls tumble down...

NARRATOR: To stay in the retreat

and boost their chances
of finding love,

our singles needs
to form connections fast.

So, Shane's wasting no time

with a cheeky chat with one
of his two dates from last night.

What's this chat about?

SHANE: A bit nice out here.

It's beautiful out here.
Yeah.

Yeah, um... OK.

Um...

How did last night go for you,

considering it's been a very long
time since you've had a date?

I was nervous...
Yeah.

..trying to make conversation
because I've never been on a date.

I don't know what you talk
about or...

Yeah, you talk about whatever you...
Yeah.

..you know, warms your heart
and makes you...

Yeah, I think you made it easy
because you're nice too.

Oh, that's so cute!

That's so cute!

That's nice to hear. Thank you.
I think you're wonderful.

Oh, thank you, Shane.
Yeah.

Oh, my god.

So, it was a good first date.
Yeah.

A ten out of ten
or a five out of ten?

A ten out of ten.
Oh, OK. Thanks, Shane.

Did you have to be that good P
nice to me?

No, you're nice.
I can take it. Yeah.

You're a lovely person.
Oh, thank you.

Well, this is romantic.

(CHUCKLES)

Things have changed
since I was dating.

Yeah.
But getting to know

like me a bit more and the rest,

does that expectation change now?

Like, you know that we're
not expecting anything out of it.

Yeah, it is. It relieves
the pressure.

Yeah.
Yeah. So, it's easier. Yeah.

Yeah, and I think, you know,

it is getting me
out of my comfort zone.

Progress.

Yeah, I know. Even coming here...

Well, that's huge, hey?

..out of my comfort zone, you know,
even dressing up in dresses...

Yeah.

..is out of my comfort zone.
But you looked beautiful.

Yeah, but it's out
of my comfort zone.

This is me, you know?

Jeans, runners, T-shirts.

That's me, my hair up, no make-up.

My son's going to kill me. Yeah.

(CHUCKLES)

Yeah, baby steps.

Yeah.

Mel, she's a really sweet,
soft, kind,

beautiful lady and that attracts me.

But I'm not throwing all my eggs
in the one basket.

NARRATOR: Oh, hello.
Did anyone say deja vu?

Before the seat's even got cold,
Shane's back,

busy boy that he is.

This time, with date number two,
Kristy.

Well, I'm glad you picked me
for a date.

You are?
That was nice, yeah.

Yeah. It was really good.

Oh!

They liked their date.

When I do watch Shane
and my mum together,

I do see that there could be

a little bit of a spark
going on there.

He's a bit different

compared to what she has been
normally going for, which I love.

So, what sort of partner are you,
Shane?

I'm a very, I guess,
giving kind of partner.

Giving?
Yeah.

I like to make a woman feel
like special and...

Yeah.
..like a princess, I guess.

I'm a bit old-fashioned.
She needs to feel protected...

Yeah, yeah.
..and loved and safe, I guess.

I feel like Kristy
and my dad, Shane,

have such a great bond already

and I'm thinking inside, "Yes!"

I'm so happy.

I think their personalities
are, like, bouncing off each other.

Absolutely.
They make them...

Yeah, they're opening up
because of each other.

Absolutely.

How would your partner
describe you as a partner?

When we're in love or my partner
after we've broken up?

(LAUGHTER)

No, I'm pretty easy-going.

Yeah.
Until I'm not.

What?

In the past, my choices
haven't ended very well,

so I'm being a little bit
more fussy now.

Yeah.

I'm not going to put up with
somebody that's not just right.

Yeah.

I am really worried
that Dad could get hurt.

I feel like I'm really able
to read people and their intentions,

so I could just sense this red flag.

I made a mental note.

Like, what are your kids like
with the people that you see?

Do they tend to like them
or are they...

Kayla's a bit tough.

Yeah.

Yeah, valid.

I think it's 'cause she's
very protective.

Yeah, I know.

I'm involved in my dad's love life.

He definitely seeks my approval.

So, she's a bit of a harsher critic.
Yeah.

In her mind, if they're nice,
like, to me...

Yeah, of course.
..of course, she's wonderful.

Yeah.

But if she thinks there's someone
not right there, you know?

Yes, gosh. It's...

..a funny old thing.

Yeah.

I think it's really important
that my dad finds the right person

to fit in with our family dynamic

because if they don't fit in,

it's not really going to work
in the long term.

I need to be in control and I need
to make the right choices here.

But I was like, these twigs,
they're not holding anything.

They're so cute, all sitting
around the table.

They're a bit more relaxed today.

So much more relaxed.

Had you had sex before marriage?

Yes.

I went home one night...

Does your mum know that?

(LAUGHTER)
Oh, listen to this!

No, she does now! So, I walk home
and the front door,

I walk in and my mum goes to me,
"You had sex last night."

I thought, "Oh, my god,
my clothes are back to front."

She goes, "I dreamt it."
I go, "That's great."

(LAUGHTER)

Watching our parents in the retreat,

I'm just really, really proud
of my mum coming out of her shell.

She's more relaxed the more time
she's spent there.

(LAUGHS)

I'm getting to know everyone

and it's nice because everyone's
got a story,

everyone's got a past.

Does everybody remember
their first love?

Well, I probably P my first love
was probably my kids' mother.

Yeah.
Yeah.

Oh, here we go.

And yeah, she was 19, I was 21.

21? Yeah.

So, how long did it last?

20-something years.

Oh, there you go. Yeah.

And how... How long do you think
that whole time P

obviously, not towards the end,

that you were fully in love
with her that whole time, like...

Yeah, up until I was 40.

So, she played up with my best mate.

(GASPS)

Oh, my god.

But I didn't know.
Everyone else knew except me.

Well, no one knew, like, our friends
circles didn't know of what...

And the kids?

When it first happened, they would
have been twelve and ten probably.

It was very raw hearing
all that stuff that my dad said.

I personally have never seen him
like that.

It was tough to watch.

So, I slept in the spare room
for seven years.

I wasn't going to be

a every-second-weekend parent
to my kids.

Yeah.

Oh, my god.

It was hard to watch
Heath be quite vulnerable.

It was heartbreaking.

That's really big of you to do that.

Hmm.

Put aside seven years.

Did the kids know you weren't
together in that seven years or not?

"Dad snores so he sleeps
in the spare bedroom."

Yeah.

I couldn't do seven years.

(BLEEP) no.

I couldn't do seven years.

Wow. Your poor dad.

That's so heartbreaking.

That's a rollercoaster
of a situation.

That's crazy.

That time afterwards when you're
living together, that's the hardest.

You're just numb.

Yeah, no, and that's
how you felt as well?

Numb. Yeah.

Yeah, that's...

It is what it is. People...

Yeah, it happens.
..make mistakes and, you know...

It was good to see him admit
that he was still hurt inside.

I think this experience
is just life-changing for Dad.

He's starting be more in touch
with his emotional side

and let his walls down
and it's great to see.

Don't you reckon it's easy to forget
they had whole lives before us?

You know?

They have emotions as well.

Yeah, and deceive them so raw
and it must put on such a big front.

We've known them our whole life

but they've had a whole life
before us.

# I'm just human after all...

NARRATOR: In the hothouse
environment of this experience,

the single parents are opening up
and connecting

faster than they would
in the outside world,

as Darren and Petula
are finding out.

It's good.
Yeah.

I thought it was fun.

It was nice, you know, getting
to know you.

I thought the spa was, you know...

It was really good, wasn't it?

(LAUGHS)
No, I really enjoyed it.

It was like P it's not what
I expected coming into the house.

Yeah.
It's funny. I get to the stage

and I'm like, "I'm 56."

"I don't want to do
another six-month relationship."

"I want something to be forever."

(LAUGHTER)

Ooh, straight into it, Dazza.

Charismatic and charming.

(LAUGHS)
I love it.

I'm attracted to Darren.

He really ticked all the boxes.

So, it's really good.

The best thing for me
was actually getting to know you.

It's exactly what my daughter said.

She said,
"Dad, go on a deeper level."

Yeah.

So, it was actually really nice
doing that.

So good to hear him actually
reiterate that advice.

(LAUGHS)

That's what Tess has asked me to do.

She's asked me to go deeper
and look further.

But I'm looking at other girls.

I want to go and meet other people
just so I get to know them.

Because Tess has a sort of said
to me,

"Dad, you've got to get
to know people more."

And I'm like, I've got to commit
to that, right?

And if I'm going to go on dates,
I want to get to know everyone.

Oh, no.

So, I can give everyone a chance.

The vibe between Darren and I...

I'm a little bit confused
as to what was going on.

I wasn't expecting that.

It's just...

I want my forever.

You know?

So...

Anyway.

Interesting.

Yes.

Good talk.
Good talk.

(LAUGHTER)

Oh!

I'm still sceptical of Darren.

I am protective of my mother

and that's not really what I want
to be hearing.

It is early days, for sure.

It'll be interesting to see
where it goes if it goes anywhere.

Yeah, for sure.

Whoever Mum chooses,
he's got to be an amazing guy.

I really want to be able to give
my blessing

but I will easily say no
without even blinking an eye.

NARRATOR: Coming up,
our first high-stakes challenge...

I'm in it to win it.

..that will give one child
all the power.

I would love to send
one of those dads home.

See you later.

NARRATOR: In the bunker
surveillance room,

the kids are starting to feel
comfortable spying on their parents.

What's going on here?
What are they talking about?

I was a (BLEEP) terror
when I was younger.

Like just shocking.

I'd shag anything
that moved just about.

What? Charlie?

What is he saying?

You know, I was being a toyboy
for married women,

I was just being stupid.

Toyboy?

Yeah, I've been on all...
I've been, like, Hinge, Bumble,

Tinder, Seeking,
all different websites.

Grindr?
No, no, I'm not on Grindr.

(LAUGHS)

Confirming, he is not on Grindr.

(LAUGHTER)

Imagine if they gave us
the photos of the girls

and said, "Put them in order
of attractiveness."

Oh!
That'd be terrible, wouldn't it?

I'm not big on fake eyelashes or...

No, neither am I.

Like, I hate fake...
I like natural.

100%.

Like at what stage did a guy go,
"Oh, my god."

"You've got great eyelashes."?

I don't think a guy
has ever said that.

It's like bum implants.

You see them and you're like,
"What have you done to your arse?"

You could rest a drink on it.

I can't believe he's saying that.

TESS: That was quite a disappointing
conversation to hear.

I knew Dad can be superficial
and stuff.

I think it was just disappointing

to see how judgemental
they were all coming across.

DARREN: Marette. How old's she?

Don't know.

I could imagine the guy
she goes for though.

Definitely. Yeah.

Who? Retty?
Yeah. 100%.

They're talking about my mum!

When we first saw her, we were
all like, "Oh, geez, wow!"

She's an attractive girl.

She's like got an amazing body.
Yeah, she has, yeah.

And I don't think Retty's
got much done.

I think it's just the eyelashes.

I don't think she's had
her boobs done.

Bit in the lips, I reckon.
She's had her lips done, yeah.

That's what I hate.

If I see a girl with P like that.

I draw the line there.

Oh, he's picking on my mum's
appearance now!

They're already putting my mum
into a category

just because of how she looks

and I think that's
just so ridiculous.

They were just sitting there,
bagging my mum out for her looks.

"She's got too much Botox!"

"She wears eyelash extensions!"

Who cares?

It doesn't change you as a person.

TESS: It was hard,
it was really hard to watch.

I felt for Tonya who was, you know,
having to sit there

listening to this awful language.

It's making me feel like shit,

so I can't imagine
how it's making you feel.

Thank you.

I need water.

I was sitting there watching
Tonya's reaction,

and that was P yeah, it was pretty
tough, really.

Didn't know what to do.

I just want to sink
out of this room.

I don't know what's going on.

The dads are getting into a bit
of a pretty rough topic there.

If I saw Marette online,
I'd swipe right.

What's that?

If I saw Marette online,
I'd swipe right. 100%.

First conversation, I'm (BLEEP)
blocking the number straight away.

ALL: Oh!

Just a memory. (CHUCKLES)

Next!

That was really like...
Too much.

It's pretty embarrassing.

That was pretty tough.

You know, you don't want
to see anyone upset.

I'm always going to go in there
and bat for my dad

and always have his back.

But yeah, some things sometimes
just shouldn't be said, I guess.

I feel like there's
so much more substance

to our mothers that, like,
it's not just like...

Exterior.
They're just like...

They're fucking amazing.
Exactly.

I'm sorry.

(LAUGHS)

Their discussion...

..was exactly like how the men are

outside of the retreat.

This is literally what my mum and I
talk about all the time

and if I could run in there myself
and say something to them, I would.

(EXHALES)

It was a bit of a sucky situation.

I felt horrible for Tonya
because that's her mum

and I would feel the exact same way

if someone were to talk
about my dad like that.

NARRATOR: As the kids
just found out,

they can't control what comes out
of the adults' mouths.

What they can control
is winning challenges

in order to influence
their parents' path to love.

So, I think this will be
welcome news.

(LAUGHTER)

(OVERLAPPING SPEECH)

What's going on?

Oh, my god!

As you know, what happens
at your parents' retreat

is not entirely in their own hands.

You have the power to steer
their romantic course

and you can do that
by winning today's challenge.

Win and you'll have the power
to influence

by deciding which parent...

..will leave the retreat...

(GASPS)

..tonight.

(DRAMATIC MUSIC)

That's crazy.

That's crazy.

Having the power to influence
my mum's dating life is great now.

I'm literally in control.

I would love to send Darren home.

Bye!

(TENSE SOUNDTRACK)

As you know,

what happens at your parents'
retreat

is not entirely in their own hands.

You have the power to steer
their romantic course

and you can do that
by winning today's challenge.

Win and you'll have the power
to influence...

..by deciding which parent...

..will leave the retreat tonight.

Whoa. That is rough.

Wow.

I really want to win this for Mum

because after the men
having their little boys chat,

sitting there basically bagging
my mum out for her looks,

I would love to send
one of those dads home.

Your first challenge
is called Confession Session.

Oh, no!

You're about to hear confessions
from your parents,

juicy little nuggets that they were
happy to share with me...

Oh, god.

..and your job is to figure out

which parent the confession
belongs to.

The first to guess three confessions
correctly will win.

So, give it a red-hot go.

Are you ready to play?

Ready! Let's do this.
Let's do it.

This parent has only ever slept
with one person.

(CHIME)

(LAUGHTER)

Sam.

My mum.

(LAUGHTER)

You know your mum very well, Sam.

The correct answer is Mel.

Yeah.

My mum has only been with ever
person, which is my father.

So, like obviously,
it's no news to me.

This parent was almost caught
in the act

and had to throw someone out.

Little did they know
their shirt was inside out.

(CHIME)

Kayla.

I'm going to go with my dad, Shane.

Kayla, you are incorrect.

(BUZZER)

The correct answer
is Drhys' mum, Petula.

(BLEEP)

(LAUGHTER)
That's (BLEEP).

Scandalous!

This little player.

Do tell. Did you know about that?

Not at all. I had no idea.

We're going to have a fat chat
later.

(LAUGHTER)

It was a shock
because that's not my mum at all.

She's innocent, kept, pure.

Unbelievable.

This parent is convinced

they are getting married
in the next 12 months.

(CHIME)

My mum.

Is it?

Milli, you say it's Kristy.
Yeah.

Do you think it's going
to be someone here?

Hopefully.
(LAUGHS)

You were correct, Milli.
The answer is your mum, Kristy.

(LAUGHS)

This parent has a flower tattoo
on their groin.

(CHIME)

My mum, Marette.

Tonya, you are correct.

The answer was your mum, Marette.

No way!

And it's safe to assume

that no one has seen
your mum's groin at the retreat.

I'd hope so, no.

This parent thinks they're
a bad-looking George Clooney.

(CHIME)
Kayla.

Tess's dad.

I think that's pretty accurate.

(LAUGHS)

Kayla, you are correct.
The answer is Tess's dad, Darren.

This parent has a phobia
of toe-sucking.

(CHIME)

Oh! Um...

I don't know why, I'm getting Tonya.

So, you think the answer is Marette?

Yeah.
You are incorrect.

(BUZZER)

The correct answer is actually
Haydn's dad, Heath.

Wow. I wouldn't have picked that.
(LAUGHTER)

We're learning new things.

The reason he has a phobia
of toe-sucking

is because he was with someone
that was obsessed with it.

(LAUGHTER)

You should have blocked your ears!

Dad has a phobia of toe-sucking.

I did not see that coming.

Despite having had Botox themselves,

this parent refuses to date someone
that looks fake...

(CHIME)
..and as had plastic surgery.

Sam.

Just from, like, the vibes
that I've picked up

listening in on the parents,
I believe that it may be Tess's dad.

God, I hope not.

Sam, you are correct!

It was Tess's dad, Darren.

I can't believe that.

Darren gets Botox

when he was having

a mad old dish about my mum
and how she looks.

Tess, what do you think?

It seems extremely hypocritical.

You know, you go and get Botox
yourself

but judge someone
on their appearance

and, you know, it's not about
their look, it's about who they are.

Yeah. When did you first decide
to get Botox? Do you know?

I don't know. No.

We haven't had that, you know,
sort of...

It's very subtle.

That's just so ridiculous.

Hang on. We've lost Tonya.

(TONYA CRYING)

VOICEOVER:
The first sparks of love...

He looks like
he's falling in love already.

..ignites.

I think there's
a genuine connection.

I've never seen her act like this.

It's just beautiful to watch.

Sunday...

He's the smooth operator...

Spicy!

Kiss you on the neck,
look in your eyes.

(GASPS)

There's people who just never had
certain things happen to them

till they met me, so.

..about to meet his match.

I'm gonna really try hard to behave.

This is one Sunday...

(EXCLAIMS)
..you cannot miss.

You don't know
what you're getting yourself into!

(LAUGHS)

My Mum, Your Dad,

Sunday at 7pm on Nine.