All language subtitles for The.Simpsons.S35E04.WEB.x264-TORRENTGALAXY_eng

I'm just gonna attach
this lapel mic, sir.

So, you want me to talk about
persephone odair? That's easy.

She was a brilliant entrepreneur
who wanted to save the world.

How I wish that was
her only shortcoming.

My company, lifeboat,
can take an ocean of salt water

And transform it into
clean drinking water,

Cheaply and efficiently
with a machine

Only the size of a can of oats.

oats!

Now, the doubters call this goal
"impossible,"

But I prefer to say:
"I'm possible."

♪ ♪

this story is about
a little girl who had a dream.

But it begins with
another little girl

Who allowed us
to use the footage

From when she interviewed
the first little girl

Who is no longer a little girl.

I'm so excited to be
interviewing

Persephone odair,
ceo of lifeboat.

So, persephone,

You were the most be-badged
girl scout of all time

And then followed
in the footsteps of bill gates

By dropping out of harvard
early.

The earliest ever.

Our car didn't even slow down on
freshmen move-in day.

So inspirational.

What was the "aha moment"
that gave you the idea

To start lifeboat?

Great question.

And, lisa, great questions are
the jackhammers,

Which demo the walls built
by distrupto-phobes

To create the open floorplan
of innovation.

I've always thought that
about questions.

lisa, my grandfather was
a world war ii sailor

Whose ship was torpedoed.

He was stranded
on a lifeboat, lisa,

Surrounded by water
but not a drop to drink.

Don't tell me he died.

Worse.

He gave up.

And then he died, of quitting

And super-duper dehydration.

But I will never give up

Until I've raised enough capital
to make lifeboat a reality.

so if you know
any billionaires...

Well, the only one in our town
is mr. Burns,

And he's awful.

Once, he clear-cut a forest

Because he thought a squirrel
was looking at him funny.

♪ ♪

Montgomery burns. Mm.

Interesting idea, lisa.

No, I didn't say it
to be an idea!

He's terrible.

Whatever you do,
don't go to him.

but the woman who once tried

To clone sheryl sandberg
for a school project

Would not be deterred.

Welcome to orlando.
Quick heads-up.

We may have to cut
this panel short

Due to our third
once-in-a-million-year

Hurricane this season.

put this on my reel!

-Terrible luck.
-No fault of anyone's.

Mr. Burns, climate change has
left the earth in peril.

Who sent you? John muir?
Friedrich engels?

Mike doonesbury?

I'm getting word that
this hurricane is meeting up

With the everglades super fire.

Montgomery, I'm the founder of
a desalination company.

Our world is
running out of water,

And we need a hero to rescue us.

And I believe that
that hero is your money.

We sell chemicals
that can put out that fire.

Granted, those chemicals
turn alligators into godzillas,

But we're working on a bomb
that can fix that.

Sorry, miss.
Desalination is a snooze.

But I do want in
on the godzilla bomb.

persephone was not shy
about hounding mr. Burns,

And he wasn't shy
about hounding her.

Some fish just swim
with the tide.

I'm the kind of relentless fish

That falls down ten times
before it runs up the mountain.

On ocean shoes.

Eh. Fine, you've got
five minutes.

Who are these goateed wastrels?

A documentary crew.

Only the most paradigm-shifting
start-up ceos have them.

Mr. Burns, I see your life
as a beautiful business opera

And investing in lifeboat
as the climactic aria

That will put you
in the same pantheon as getty,

Vanderbilt, the spanx lady.

Desalination is an expensive
and inefficient industry

Begging to be disrupted.

Success is a decision.

Dare to choose it, sir.

-Dare to.
-Of course.

Like how I chose
to be born rich.

Together we can disrupt
big salt water.

You mean... The ocean?

Exactly,
or should I say...

excellent.

Not only am I pledging
much of my personal wealth

To lifeboat, but I'm giving
the company cooling tower a

To use as its headquarters.

Cooling tower a was
mr. Burns' favorite tower.

He always said it held
so many precious memories.

In addition,
all workers in sector 7-g

Are immediately fired...

Hey, that's me!
Screw you, pig!

...And are rehired at
higher tech industry salaries.

Bless you, pig!

burns brought
his wealthiest friends

Into persephone's fold.

When I invest, I look at
the business's key fundamental:

Am I under the delusion that
I have a shot with the ceo?

burns and persephone were soon

Running the new company
side by side,

Overseeing a start-up culture

Where everyone had
a creative title.

Persephone odair, founder
and status quo demolitionist.

Montgomery burns,
chief change alchemist.

Waylon smithers,
purposefulness warlock.

Carl carlson,
braindump magician.

Lenny leonard,
storytelling ninja.

Homer simpson,
"compet-ticy" rockstar.

competency?

Say it again.

If anyone can transform burns,

It's a visionary
like persephone.

Like, if you work at lifeboat,
you have to use

These metal drinking straws.

It's so easy to clean
after every use.

I'm just...

Why does it have to bend?

♪ this is my fight song ♪

♪ take back my life song ♪

♪ prove I'm all right song. ♪

my fellow lifeboaters!

I'm so excited to have you
on this journey with me.

Imagine a world with an endless
supply of drinkable water.

A world where every hotel towel
can be used once

And then dropped on the floor.

Oh, there are a lot of changes.

Unlike when this was
a nuclear plant,

Security's super tight now,

And we have to sign
stringent ndas.

And I am bad at keeping secrets.

Like how I'm not supposed to
talk about lenny's crush

-On his italian tutor.
-Homer.

lifeboat was soaring,

But no one could've predicted
what shocking turn

Was in store for the company.

Um, is this one of
those documentaries

Where I'm not supposed to
look at the camera?

Or is it like the office,
where I always look at it

And do a big take
so the audience knows

When to laugh?

In richness and wealth,
for richer and richer,

I now pronounce you
husband and wife.

I'm still pinching myself.

I'm married to montgomery burns.

Nuclear industry legend.

Chief s'more toaster
at the bohemian grove.

The first man
with no blood type.

What a joy
to wake up in the morning,

Turn my head on the pillow

And see her bedroom door
through the glass

Of my hyperbaric chamber.

soon, persephone and burns were
the new it power couple.

And the press couldn't get
enough of this may...

Last-minute-of-December romance.

It's so refreshing
to see a young person

With the world at her feet

Who also sees the glory
that is montgomery burns.

now it was up to persephone

To create a working prototype of

Her amazing
desalination technology.

The water in front of you
comes from

The functional prototype of

The lifeboat
desalination machine.

So everyone please raise a glass

To milestone
this history-defining moment.

Oh, no, you can't
drink it now. No.

Our competitors could steal
the proprietary aquatech

In your urine.

And just in case any of
our patented evaporated mist

Made it into your bladders,

We've arranged to have you all
catheterized.

So lifeboat was just following
the tech industry playbook:

Fake it till you make it.

Or as I call it,
"lie-po until you ipo."

But the employees were already
dreaming of cashing out.

Tech salaries are the greatest.

This week, I gave marge
200 stock options

To go grocery shopping.

It didn't work at all.

I had to put all the food
back on the shelves.

meanwhile,
the newly minted tech workers

Were adapting to a much
different corporate culture.

At the new company,
people were so secretive

They actually moved the post-it
notes with their passwords

Off their monitor.

Workers were getting fired
every day.

That tattoo is the intellectual
property of the company.

The whole company got
so paranoid.

Because of those ndas he signed,

Homer couldn't even tell me
how his day was.

I can neither confirm nor deny
I had a day.

Well, it was strange
they wouldn't let me

Look inside the machines,
since my title was

Chief engineer of
inside the machine.

And whenever a reporter came by,

It seemed like they were trying
to cover something up.

Well, still better than working
for zuckerberg!

They were hiding something, and
it was really freaking me out.

So I emailed persephone.

And the next day, carl was gone.

despite the red flags flying
from this lifeboat,

There continued to be believers.

Persephone dominates
my vision board.

Sure, she married mr. Burns,

But as ceo,
a woman had all the power.

That's what made
the internet trolls so mad.

all the online negativity
stirred up

The finger-tempted anger of
a different kind of troll.

Hmm.

♪ this is my fight song ♪

♪ take back my life song... ♪

I wanted to give my wife--
wow, wife,

Still getting used to
saying that--

A little something special
for her birthday.

A twitter gift card?

No. I bought you twitter.

The whole company.
It was a bargain.

The previous owner
had to sell it

After his self-driving
mars rocket

Crashed into the international
space station.

Oh! Mm.

Mr. Burns, you deleted

All negative tweets
about persephone.

Is that evidence that
you're in a kind of cult

And won't hear any criticism
of your leader?

Yes, I am in a cult.

It's called a marriage.

My wife is the head of it,
and my job is to support her.

Now, maybe you're the cult
leader in your marriage, andrew,

But I know pilar,
and I suspect she'd disagree.

but lifeboat
was rocked by a fresh scandal,

When an anonymous whistleblower
bravely came forward

With damning new information.

my best friend
carl was abducted

Because he was about
to go public

With a story that
would destroy this company.

People need to know the truth.

The lifeboat machine
doesn't work.

the whistle was blown
and the damage was done.

Ma'am, ma'am,
the whistleblower claims

The only person who has seen

The inside of
your desalination machine

Has disappeared.

Isn't that suspicious?

Why do you doubt a female ceo

But believe
the silhouette of a man

Sitting in the dark?

News flash!
Women have faces now.

at this moment,

Allegations that
its core technology

Does not work are threatening
lifeboat's very survival.

is this the beginning
of the end

For this
once-promising start-up?

and the answer is...

Absolutely not.

Lifeboat will save humanity

And become the world's
most profitable company.

Join us next time
for lifeboat afloat,

Persephone's total vindication.

this documentary series
is now a burnsco production.

Montgomery burns wasn't happy

With the documentary

About his wife's start-up,
so he bought the company

That made it,
but that didn't stop others

From telling the story,
because the business of

Business documentaries is
big business.

We've unearthed even more
never-before-seen footage

Of the beatles,
including six hours

Of them
discussing drinking water.

The thing about water,
you can't make tea without it.

What if you made tea
out of coffee?

What if you made coffee
out of tea?

Uh, fellas, maybe
we should play some music.

why do they call it h2o?

I bet no reason at all.

just weeks ago,
lifeboat stopped payment

On their stadium naming rights.

Despite the glut of
lifeboat documentaries,

The definitive version was made
by a storyteller so compelling,

He made 12 hours on
the national parks feel like 11.

♪ ♪

the mysterious whistleblower
alleged that

Persephone's desalination
machine was fraudulent.

the lifeboat
machine doesn't work.

unfortunately for him,

Mr. Burns' legal team had
acquired the raw footage

Of the whistleblower's
damning interview.

the machine doesn't work.

Hey, I ordered this sub toasted.

This is only lightly toasted.

is this
how you treat a whistleblower?

Uh-oh.

mr. Burns and persephone
now knew

The identity of
the man who betrayed them.

And the hiring of lawyers
to destroy homer simpson

Proved to be quite
the aphrodisiac.

lifeboat lawyers were relentless

In trying to subpoena homer...

...And sue him for breaking
his nda.

my dad got an anonymous message

Saying there was something
he had to see,

So I went with him.

What I saw changed

The one thing I thought
could never be changed--

My mind.

carl.
You sent the message.

You've been working in the lab
all along?

If I didn't do their dirty work,

They'd tell the world
my dark secret.

I've been to 700
jimmy buffet concerts!

I'm a parrot-head.

"cheeseburger in paradise"!

so, what are they making you do?

I'm putting something
in the lifeboat machines

Called "jab-a-tose."

Well, if I may frink-splain.

In 1970,

A very popular diet soda
called jab

Was discontinued because
of the overpowering sweetness

Of its artificial flavor.

Lifeboat bought up thousands of
cases of unsold jab sodas

Because jab-a-tose was so strong

It could completely mask
the taste of salt.

Oh, my god. This machine
doesn't take out the salt.

It masks it with sweetness!

That's the jab-a-tose.

Ocean water enters the machine,

And when it comes out,
it tastes normal

But still has more salt
than all the glasses

In margaritaville.

Oh, my god.
Lifeboat is built on a lie,

And persephone is a fraud.

But her merch is...

solid.

action was needed,

And island time was running out.

The fateful demo day had arrived

For lifeboat to
finally prove its concept

At springfield elementary.

The school's drinking water
had been replaced

With lifeboat liquid--

Jab-a-tose-infused salt water.

Lifeboat employees had drunk
the kool-aid,

And now it was being served up
to the children.

Mr. Burns!

The lifeboat water isn't safe.

It's just super sweetened
ocean brine.

Nonsense.
My wife is a beautiful genius,

Who succeeds at
everything she touches.

And everything she says
makes perfect sense.

The wheel of tomorrow is
an aqua-circle.

Let's make it rain.

buddy, buddy, buddy.

What you're feeling towards
that lady is fresh love,

Not married love.

But we are married.

Yes, but the married love
hasn't kicked in yet.

When it does, you'll see
your spouse's flaws

In 4k hdtv
you can never turn off.

What are you driving at?

I think you need to look at
your wife with marriage eyes.

Water is the original crypto.

Every drop is encoded
on the biological blockchain,

And we are the aquanauts
of the potable future.

This is wet 3.0!

I don't understand
a thing she's ever said.

Now you're married.

And since you're seeing things
clearly...

Oh, dear. Those children are
going to drink poison.

And the bad news is...

I'm going to be liable.

liable!

that is what would have happened

Had homer not
turned the valve off.

Sorry, we only put that in there
for the trailer.

Do you know how hard it is
to get people to watch

A documentary that's not about
a small-town murder?

Please, honey, come clean.

Your miracle invention is
nothing but claptrap.

If you can just admit that,
maybe we have a chance.

Babe, the underlying imaginary
technology still works.

and in that moment,

This unlikely and super gross
love affair died.

Yes, I was besotted,
blind to her machinations.

She cost me billions.

It wasn't that she was evil,
I love evil.

It's that she still insists
she's good.

lifeboat had finally
hit the reef,

Drowning its investors
and employees

In poisoned water and
counterparty risk lawsuits.

But to this day,
persephone has refused

To admit any failure.

Testing showed your de-salinator
did absolutely nothing,

Your company is bankrupt,
and in the divorce,

Mr. Burns somehow got
your high school friends.

What happens from here?

Well, christiane amanpour,
as you say,

Things have never
looked better for the company.

I didn't say that.

The reality is,

You're in jail.

Christiane,
have I ever told you about

My grandfather's experience
on a lifeboat?

Even that was a lie.

Her grandfather wasn't
in the war,

And he didn't die on a lifeboat.

He's a cpa whose hobby is
fixing british spellings

On wikipedia.

not only did I miss out

On once-in-a-lifetime
start-up riches,

But I lost the most amazing
woman I ever met.

I think, in a few more months
she might've even slept with me.

It's great to meet you in person

After seeing so much footage
of you in our documentary

The man who sold
horse meat sandwiches.

Anything else to add?

Just this.

Don't feel sorry for me.

Time to rebuild and reconquer.

If I know one thing
about myself,

Montgomery burns always
bounces back.

♪ this is my fight song ♪

♪ take back my life song ♪

♪ prove I'm all right song ♪

♪ my power's turned on ♪

♪ starting right now
I'll be strong ♪

♪ I'll play my fight song. ♪

We also have over 90 hours of
them talking about umbrellas.

Maybe that could be
a documentary, too.

I once brought an umbrella
into the shower.

-How did you get clean?
-I didn't,

But at least I didn't
have to take off my clothes.

As soon as I open my umbrella,
it stops raining.

You need a sunroof on it.

What about a giant umbrella
you keep in the trunk?

Sounds like you're talking about
an "umbrellaphant."

Can we get back to work?

Wait. I like the sound of that.

Get back.

I saw an umbrellaphant
at the circus.

He was working for peanuts.

Captioning sponsored by
20th century fox television

And fox broadcasting company

And toyota.

Captioned by
media access group at wgbh
access.Wgbh.Org

Shh!