All language subtitles for Christmas Perfection (2018) eng

- Do you have any money?
- Um...

That's okay.

Brandon, look.

Where do you think that is?

It's just a model, Darcy.

It's not a real place.

I bet it's Ireland.

Mom said Christmas is beautiful
in Ireland.

Someday I'll have a Christmas
just like that.

Everything will be perfect.

Okay, Michelangelo,
it's a Christmas card.

- Not the Sistine Chapel.
- It's not done.

You never think it's done,

but it's always gorgeous.

You can touch it up
in Photoshop.

Not the same.

You'll be signing one of these
cards at my funeral.

You could try singing me
a Christmas carol.

It might get me in the mood,
get me to work faster.

Singing is for those
with a joyful inner voice.

I don't have one of those.

Of course you do.
You just need to nurture it.

Mm-hmm,
don't change the subject.

That should have been
to the copywriter an hour ago.

Tom's there until two o'clock
today, I checked.

That's something else
you've been taking

your sweet time with.

It'll happen
if it's supposed to.

Oh, hi, Tom. No one
here was talking about you.

I was just telling Carmen

how I, uh, I-I need to get this
done for you.

- Oh.
- Very soon.

Darcy, I love how much detail
you put in your work.

I can almost
hear those carolers singing.

- It just needs a little more--
- Lil' more shading on the tree.

Yeah, exactly.

Well, perfection
is worth waiting for.

Just drop that in my office
whenever you're done.

Okay.

Carmen.

Okay, you stalled long enough
to get him to come up here.

No, it's really not done.

Perfect is the enemy
of done.

Darcy, tomorrow is Thanksgiving.

The official gateway

to the glorious
Christmas season.

During which
you will make yourself crazy

attempting to achieve
the impossible goal

of a perfect Christmas.

Not impossible.
I just haven't done it yet.

I will see you tomorrow.
Five o'clock sharp.

Hey, Brandon. Happy
Thanksgiving. You almost here?

Uh, I'm about
to head into the store.

Tell me again, what kind
of cheese I'm supposed to get.

The gouda kind, the bada kind?

Oh, speaking of cheesy.

- So Kraft Singles then?
- Not funny.

My first-choice cheese
is the herbed goat cheese,

but if they don't have that,
then just get a plain one.

I definitely
do not want a goat cheese

that was rolled in fruit
or something.

If you do get the plain one,
then I want

another herbed cheese

like a-a dill havarti,

but if you get
the herbed cheese,

then I want smoked gouda

for counterpoint.

Darce,
dinner is gonna be great.

Your parents
will get along fine.

Thanks, Brandon. And hurry.

- Darcy, I'm here.
- Hi, mom.

- Hello, hello.
- Oh, hi.

- So who's coming?
- Um, dad, of course.

And Carmen, and Brandon.

When are you going to give
that nice Brandon a chance?

As I've discussed with you
many times,

Brandon and I are just friends.

Better than being alone
coming up on Christmas.

I want more than to just
not be alone.

I want to be
with the right person.

Like my copywriter, Tom.

He appreciates
my attention to detail.

He is the sort of person
I should be with.

You let too many shoulds
run your life, Darcy.

Mom, I know
you're full of opinions,

but you don't actually
have to say them all out loud.

It's how I show that I care.

So did you bring the pie?

Did I what?
Wait till you try these.

This bakery got
a five-star Yelp review.

Oh, uh, I thought you were gonna
make grandma's recipe.

I know, but every year you tell
me I've done something wrong,

so I thought, you know,
if I brought this,

they'd be perfect,
like you want them.

Okay, uh, that's, that's not
what I, I meant, but--

I bring the best pies
in the city

and they're still not
good enough for you.

Fine, I suppose
I'll just throw them away.

No, no, no,
I'm sure it'll be delicious.

- You have great taste.
- Thank you.

Thank you for the pie.

Hey, hey, hey!

Why can you not have
two Thanksgivings

like any other normal child
of divorce?

Because my wonderful parents
are so mature,

they can handle the occasional
holiday meal together.

Hi, dad. Happy Thanksgiving.

I brought
the green-bean casserole.

- I just need to put it together.
- Oh.

Uh, okay.

Bill, you're not helping.

Oh, Darcy doesn't mind.
Do you, kiddo?

Hey. Happy Thanksgiving.

- Hi.
- Hey-hey-hey.

Uh, I got a little more

than you asked for.

- Oh, Brandon. Brandon.
- Happy Thanksgiving.

- Happy Thanksgiving.
- How are you?

- Hey, Bill.
- Hey.

- Hey, how you doing?
- All right. Good to see you.

- Happy Thanksgiving.
- Happy Thanksgiving.

I have no idea
what she asked for.

Kiddo, is there supposed to be

smoke coming out of the oven?

What? No. No, no, no, no.

- Oh.
- Ooh.

Cheer up, Darce.

It's still delicious.

Well, like 90 percent
of it's delicious, you know?

Holiday disappointment
is inevitable.

Well, if every holiday
went perfectly,

how would we ever
tell them apart?

Oh, I gave up on perfect
years ago.

Every time I try to make
something perfect,

it always turned out wrong.

Oh, like the time
we had spaghetti and meatballs

for Thanksgiving,
because you forgot to mention

that you invited your cousins
to swing by.

Hey, that was fun.

Just as
I'm putting out the turkey

for the three of us,
up rolled an RV

with a dozen starved cousins
expecting dinner.

So, back to the kitchen for me.

That Thanksgiving
was complete chaos.

You two were so mad
at each other.

Well, in those days
it wasn't a holiday

unless we were
at each other's throats.

- Holiday traditions are weird.
- That's not what I meant.

Well, like,
it's just not Christmas for me

without this hideous
inflatable Santa Claus

wearing Bermuda shorts.

I hated it for years, but my dad
thought it was hilarious

and now
it's my Christmas tradition.

For my mother it wasn't
Christmas unless we played

her Christmas album.

She's leaving out
that it is one hundred percent

in Gaelic. No idea
what they were saying. Hah.

And the singing's
a wee bit off-key.

But she loved us, so she
tortured us with it every year.

Bill and I loathed it,
but when she passed,

I couldn't bring myself
to throw it out.

I wish I could have a Christmas
like you did

when you were a kid in Ireland.

They weren't all that great,
Darcy.

It just seems like the way
Christmas should be.

One of my favorite Christmases
gone wrong

was when our flight got grounded
in Buffalo.

When we were on our way home
from--

Yeah, our semester abroad.

We had to sleep on our backpacks

because all the hotels
were full.

And there was no food
because the supply trucks

couldn't get through
the ten feet of snow.

Oh, and the s-stupid Oompah band
kept playing polkas...

It was the worst Christmas ever.

Huh, what? No, come on,
that was like one of my best.

You have a really odd sense
of fun, Brandon.

I just want a perfect holiday.
Just once.

One time
where nothing went wrong.

That's just not real life,
Darcy.

A girl can dream, I guess.

Well, I'm exhausted.

I don't know how you're gonna
stay up all night.

There's only two hours
until midnight.

12:01, and then it's officially
the day after Thanksgiving

and the Christmas decorating
begins.

It's still
the day after Thanksgiving

in the morning, you know?

It's tradition.

Well, I know how important
decorating is to you, kiddo,

so I will get out of your hair.

- I'll stay and help.
- Oh, good.

I've got some heavy boxes
for you to drag out.

- Thanks, Darce.
- I love you.

That was delicious,
despite the turkey.

Oh. Well, I tried.

That was a really fun night.

Your parents only sniped
at each other three times.

Total win.

It is a pretty good record
for them, huh?

Okay. Point me to the heavy
things that need lifting.

- It's not time yet.
- Oh, come on, be a rebel.

- Let's start early.
- No. We can't.

It's still Thanksgiving,
it's not right.

Yeah, you're right,
the, uh, Christmas police

could find out, huh?

Oh.

Okay, compromise.

We take out the boxes now,

but we don't open them
until midnight.

Deal?

12:01.

Deal.

But we cannot do any decorating

without the proper regalia.

A My Favorite Things mercantile.

Every village needs one,
am I right?

Where else would you get
your warm, woolen mittens?

Or your schnitzel
with noodles. Oh.

Maybe in Pub.

Oh, only the classics
served in Pub.

Oh, this is too cute!

Okay. I'd live here.
I claim this as my house.

Uh, n-n-no.
That is where I live.

Ouch. So I'm homeless.

No. You would live here.

Hm, well, uh, uh, do I at least
get to pick where it goes?

No! No. No, that's my job.

Okay, boss.

Uh... where does this go?

Um, here.

And what about this guy?

- Ooh, ooh, careful.
- I'm being careful.

He goes right here.

Isn't it a little boring, doing
it the same way every year?

I mean, you have almost
infinite possibilities here.

We could try some of them.

This is how I want it.

How do you know what you want
if you haven't tried

all the options?

Because this way works.
This way makes sense.

You know, nothing bad
will happen

if you change something.

Why does anything
have to change?

Well, because life is change.

And that's why my Christmas
village doesn't, okay?

I don't have control over life!
I have control over this...

Why are you being so weird
about this?

This is something
I look forward to every year,

and you're ruining it.

Ruining it? Great. Okay.

Well, I thought
I was part of your fun,

but if not, I'll just go home.

See you later, Darcy.

Brandon, wait. Oh...

Oh, no.

How did I not know
this place was still around?

This is where I first fell
in love with Christmas villages.

- We do keep unusual hours.
- Uh, yeah, it's...

It's 2:00 in the morning.

Well, it is the day
after Thanksgiving.

Officially,
the start of Christmas season.

That's what I always say.

So what are you missing?

- What?
- From your Christmas village.

Oh. Well,
I broke my post office.

You can't have
a perfect Christmas village

with no post office.

Do you have an Irish one?

I've got one right here.

Oh.

It's perfect.

I'll take it. Thank you.

When I was a little girl

and things weren't so great
at home,

I used to come here and stare
at the Christmas villages.

I dreamed of a place
where all your worries were gone

and it was the perfect
Irish Christmas.

You know, uh, I have
some one-of-a-kind pieces.

Over here.

She looks just like me.

She'd be right at home
in your Irish Christmas village.

- How much?
- For you, it's on the house.

- Really?
- Hm.

Thank you.

It's my pleasure.

- Merry Christmas.
- Merry Christmas.

Here's to a perfect Christmas.

Alexa, turn off alarm.

What?

Did I take an Ambien
last night?

- Merry Christmas, love.
- Merry Christmas, love.

Hot chocolate.
With a bit of whipped cream.

Just the way you like it.

Why are you two together?

And smiling and...

Why are you talking like that,
dad?

Whatever do you mean?

This is how I talk.

Are you all right, love?

Uh, no.

Have your hot chocolate.
You'll feel better.

This is the best cocoa
I've ever had.

Oh, thanks, dear.

Wait till you try the waffles.

Waffles?

Where am I?

Have a seat, love.

Just the way you like them.

- You guys are punking me.
- We're what now?

This is some kind
of reality show

where you gaslight
the children of divorce

with happiness and everything
they've ever wanted, huh?

Darcy, you're not making
any sense now.

I'm not making any sense?
You guys can't stand each other.

- Where'd you get that now?
- No.

From your divorce!

Your mother and I
have been

happily married for 30 years.

Huh. I must be dreaming.

Oh! It is time to wake up now,
Darcy. Wake up! Wake up!

Your blood sugars must be low.
Eat up your waffles, love.

I don't want waffles! I wanna
understand what is going on.

No waffles,
on Christmas morning?

- I'm sorry. What now?
- Christmas morning.

When we have waffles
and hot chocolate

and then we open presents.

But it was Thanksgiving
yesterday.

No, it was Christmas yesterday,
love.

You just said
it's Christmas today.

And it will be Christmas
tomorrow.

What are you talking about?

It's Christmas every day
here in Christmas Town, love.

Christmas Town?

Christmas Town?

Ah, no.

I'm insane.

Carmen was right.
The stress got to me.

I've had a psychotic break...

I can't do this!
I have to get out of here.

Come on, Bill.

I'm in my Christmas village.

I'm in my Christmas village.

I'm in my Christmas village!

It's a Christmas miracle!

- Honey!
- Your waffles.

Oh!

Mom, these are so good.

Oh, thank you, love.

Shall we do
the Christmas presents?

Ho-ho-ho!

A sketchbook. I love it.

- I knew you would.
- Thank you.

- You're welcome.
- This is perfect.

- This. Open this one next.
- Okay.

Mmm...

You guys...

It's beautiful!

Aw, thank you.

- Merry Christmas.
- Merry Christmas.

Merry Christmas.

Merry Christmas.

Gingerbread man?

Oh. Thank you.

- Merry Christmas.
- Merry Christmas.

Mm. Oh.

Hm.

Perfect.

Hello, gorgeous.

Tom? Why-why are you here?

Where else would I be?

I can't imagine
spending Christmas

without my lovely girlfriend.

Girlfriend?

Of course.

And, and since when
are you Irish?

I don't understand the question,
sweetheart.

Never mind.

Good, 'cause it's a perfect day.

For what?

We're goin' on a ride.

It always snows
on our carriage ride.

- You doing okay?
- Oh, my gosh.

It's just as wonderful
as I always thought it would be.

- Smells like Christmas.
- Ah.

Every single day.

It's time for one
of your Christmas presents.

Now, you get to design

your very own
Christmas sweater.

- Really?
- Anything you want.

Made to order.

- Anything?
- Choose your color.

Cool.

Hm.

- I love it!
- Let's go show 'em off.

Tom, you're right.

Ah.

Will you close your eyes for me?

All right. You can look now.

Snow? But how?

- Christmas magic.
- Oh, yeah.

- This calls for a snowman.
- My thoughts exactly.

This is the best snowman
I have ever made.

It's perfect.

- You get me.
- I know.

It's snowing.

All in the hour.

That's so beautiful.
I'll be right back.

Mom, do you have a timer set
for the turkey?

Oh, you know I don't need one.

You're just keeping
an eye on it?

Oh! The turkey always comes out
just right.

- These ovens are foolproof.
- Should have known.

Mm.

All this rich food.

I'm gonna go for a run
in the morning

or I'm gonna outgrow my pants.

Uh, no one gains weight
in Christmas Town, love.

- You can eat what you want.
- Shut up.

- Sorry.
- No, I mean, that's amazing.

You're perfect.
Just the way you are.

And you always will be.

Oh, man.

I love it here.

Oh, look,
there's a bench right up front.

- Carmen?
- Mayor Carmen.

Seriously? Like, she won an
election? People voted for her?

Oh, Mayor Carmen is the town's
most popular resident.

- She's a delightful woman.
- Huh?

Another Christmas miracle.

Happy Christmas,
everyone.

As your mayor, it is my honor
to welcome you all

to tonight's wonderful concert.

The perfect ending
to another perfect Christmas.

So without further ado,

please welcome
the Christmas Town singers.

♪ Silent night ♪

♪ Holy night ♪

You sit here,
I'll be right back.

♪ All is calm ♪

Carmen!

Yeah!

Ooh.

- So good to see you.
- Wow!

Somebody really has
the Christmas spirit.

This has been
the best Christmas ever.

And-and Tom
is just like I imagined.

He is romantic and sweet
and handsome.

He's'st perfect.

I haven't seen Brandon anywhere,
though. Have you--

I'm sorry, I've got to dash.
I've got to put on my costume.

Oh, okay,
w-w-w-we'll catch up later.

Uh-huh.

♪ ...peace ♪

♪ Sleep ♪

♪ In heavenly ♪

♪ Peace ♪♪

Beautiful. Well done.

Jingle Bells, everyone.

♪ Dashing through the snow ♪

♪ In a one-horse open sleigh ♪

Everything all right?

Yeah. Just getting used
to things around here.

Oh, don't worry. Everything
is how it's supposed to be.

♪ Ride and sing
a sleighing song tonight ♪

♪ Oh jingle bells
jingle bells ♪

♪ Jingle all the way ♪

♪ Oh what fun it is to ride ♪

♪ In a one-horse open sleigh ♪♪

I have one more surprise for ya.

Uh, this has already been
the best day ever.

And now it's even better.

Go on. Open it.

It's beautiful.

Thank you, Tom.

Well, goodnight.

I'll see you tomorrow.

Merry Christmas, Darcy.

Merry Christmas.

Hey, so it's aft

Hey, so it's after Thanksgiving

which means you're probably out
buying a Christmas tree

but this is like
the 16th time I've called.

You're gonna have to talk to me
at some point,

especially,
since I'm coming over.

Having trouble
finding what you want?

Uh, yeah, actually.

Um, uham,

I'm looking for a peace offering

for a Christmas super fan

and it's gotta be perfect.

Oh, that is tricky.

Does she have
a Christmas village?

Yeah, a real cute
Irish one, yeah.

But, uh,
it seems like she's already got

everything she needs,
though. So...

Perhaps, something
from our one-of-a-kind section.

Whoa!

It's perfect, isn't it?

Yeah, it is.

It's Christmas again!

- Merry Christmas, mom and dad.
- Mm.

- Merry Christmas, Darcy.
- Merry Christmas, Darcy.

- Here you go!
- Ooh, thank you.

Do I smell waffles?

You sure do. Come on.

- Mm.
- More hot chocolate?

Six seems a little naughty.

It is Christmas.

Good point, dad.

Fill her up.

Oh. A green one.

Thanks, mom and dad.

- You're welcome.
- You're welcome.

Yup.

Gingerbread man?

Thank you.

- Merry Christmas.
- Merry Christmas.

Oh, hello, gorgeous.

Hey, Tom.
Fancy meeting you here.

We always meet here.

I know, it was...
It was just a...

Never mind.
Shall we go for a ride?

So I was I thinking
kind of, like a crew neckline.

Thought maybe this green
and blend it with this green,

kinda give it like
an overall, like, faded effect.

- Mm.
- Isn't it great? Yeah.

Another perfect snowman.

Another perfect Christmas
with you.

- Mm.
- More potatoes, Sylvia?

- Mm. Why, thank you, Bill.
- Can I get in on that?

There's totally room.
Right there.

- I'll go first.
- Yes.

I never get full.

♪ O Christmas tree
O Christmas tree ♪

♪ Of all the trees
most lovely ♪

♪ Each year you bring
to me delight... ♪♪

I have one more surprise for ya.

Ah-ha! It's beautiful.

Thank you.

- Goodnight.
- Goodnight.

Darcy?

Come on! You know
I hate it when we fight.

I have a present.

Okay, if you didn't want me
to let myself in,

you shouldn't have told me
where the spare key is.

Darcy?

Darcy, you here? No.

Great.

Hm.

What the...

Darcy?

Darcy!

Darcy?

Man, where are you?

Mm...

Ha.

- Good morning. Oh.
- Good morning.

Hey, are there any shops
open today?

Of course, love.
They're open Christmas hours.

- Why do you ask?
- Well...

It occurred to me that I never
get you guys any presents.

Uh, sure,
we don't need anything.

Sure, we got plenty of presents.

But none of them are from me.

You guys are so good to me.
I'd like to get you something.

- Ah, that's sweet.
- If unnecessary.

Okay. I'm going
to get you presents.

Don't you want
your waffles first?

It's okay.
I'll grab a cookie.

"'Twas the night
before Christmas

when all through the house

not a creature was stirring,

not even a mouse.

The stockings were hung
by the chimney with care,

in hopes that Saint Nicholas
soon would be there.

The children were nestled
all snug in their beds,

while visions of sugar plums
danced in their heads.

And mama in her 'kerchief
and I in my cap,

had just settled down
for a long winter's nap...

when out on the lawn
there arose such a clatter,

I sprang from my bed
to see what was the matter.

Away to the window,
I flew like a flash.

Tore open the shutter
and threw open the sash.

The moon on the breast
of a new fallen snow

gave the luster of mid-day..."

Hiya. Let me get those
wrapped up for you.

Thank you.

Oh, you know,
I'm not sure I have any money.

Oh, try your pocket.

That's where
most people keep their money.

Hm.

Uh, you know, I am just gonna,

I'm gonna grab a few more,
uh, a few, a coup...

- Some. I'll be right back.
- Go ahead.

- Ooh.
- Oh! I'm so sorry.

- Darcy?
- Brandon?

I-I'm so glad I found you!

Where have you been hiding
this whole time?

What are you talking about?
This is a dream, right? Uh...

This is a dream,
I-I ate some bad curry

and now I'm dreaming I'm
in your Irish Christmas village?

Brandon?

Brandon-Brandon?
You woke up here?

Yeah, in that little stone house
you said was mine.

It's really you!

- Who else would I be?
- Ah! Another version of you.

It's hard to explain, but I
don't think you're dreaming,

unless we're having
the same dream.

Is that a thing?
Can that happen?

What's the alternative? Another
dimension in the multiverse?

A psychotic break?

Does it matter?
Brandon, it's great here.

It's Christmas every day.
Nothing ever goes wrong.

And you can eat
whatever you want.

You never gain any weight.

- I can get behind that.
- Hm. Hm...

Oh, oh, and...

you always have cash.

- Okay.
- It's kind of the perfect place.

Come on. I'll take you home.
My parents will make us waffles.

- Your parents?
- Oh, yeah.

They're together here.
And my dad is Irish now.

- Well, actually... Yeah.
- Everyone's Irish here. Yeah.

- Hello, gorgeous.
- Oh, hi, Tom.

- Tom, like, Tom from work?
- Yeah.

Like her boyfriend, Tom.
Uh, what's your name?

Um, Brandon.

You have a boyfriend now?

Apparently.

- Hey, ready to go for our drive?
- Hm.

Oh, I thought
we were gonna have waffles.

Oh, we always
go for our ride now.

Uh, could we go later?
Or tomorrow?

You know what? It's Christmas.
We can do whatever we want.

We can have waffles
and then go for a ride.

Yeah?

Whatever you want. Here,
let me help you with those.

- No, I-I got 'em.
- Oh, I insist.

Okay, here you go, big guy.

Huh?

Shall we?

Mm.

Sylvia,
these waffles are amazing!

And Bill,
this cocoa, it's the best.

Oh, cheers, Brandon.

Let's go for our drive now,
dear.

Oh, that's a great idea.

Um, sure.
I guess we could all go.

- Yeah.
- Hm.

Sorry.

There's not really any room.

- Uh, sure there is.
- Oh!

Uh... Yeah, well,
maybe we should--

No, no, no, no. It's just...
We'll be fine.

We'll just, oh...

- Just get all snuggly.
- Ooh. Okay.

Uh, there we go. Just...

- That's my arm.
- Oh, sorry. Okay.

Giddy up! Huh?

Oh! Okay.

All right.
Christmas-sweater time.

Oh, what? That's it?

Yeah.

Wait, you don't go anywhere else
in this thing?

No.

So you just do the exact
same drive every day?

Our days are exactly
as they're supposed to be.

Come on, Darcy, let's get you
that Christmas sweater.

I think it'll be fine.
Come on. Come on.

- Take my hand.
- Yeah. All righty.

- What is this place?
- Oh, just you wait.

We can pick anything we want.

- Anything?
- Mm-hmm.

Okay.

- Yes. Yes. Excuse me.
- Oh, sorry.

Yes.

Oh, ye old Pub.
Now we're talking.

I could use a pint.

Oh, we're not here for drinking.

Don't worry,
it's easier than it...

looks.

Yeah.

Hey, Darcy,
I bet you can't do this.

Oh, I bet I can.

- Oh, yeah?
- Uh-huh.

Oh, okay.
There you go. Yeah...

It's just old me.

This is awesome.

Darcy is a gazelle
in a Christmas sweater.

Oh, you're-you're graceful
is what I meant.

Aw, thank you.

- Should we spin?
- Yes.

Hey, Darce, check this out.

Whoo.

Whoo!

Very nice.

Hi there, folks,
be sure to check out

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- Is that Carmen?
- Sort of.

Darcy. Tom, Bill, Sylvia.

So very delightful to see you

on this most perfect
Christmas day.

Carmen,
this is my friend, Brandon.

Hello, Brandon,
everyone is always welcome

here in Christmas Town.

Oh.

It's good. It's good.

You'll like this version of her.

♪ Oh jingle bells
jingle bells ♪

♪ Jingle all the way ♪

♪ Oh what fun it is to ride ♪

♪ In a one-horse
open sleigh... ♪♪

I admit, Darcy, I finally get

what you love so much
about this village.

It's really beautiful here.

It is, isn't it?

It seems like
you might have overcorrected

a little on Carmen, though.

- What?
- I mean, I know she was gloomy.

But this version of Carmen
is ridiculously cheerful.

She's like a pod person.

What does that have to do
with me?

Come on, this whole place,
everyone in it,

it's all your fantasy.

Your parents back together,
you dating Mr. Perfect,

Christmas every day,
everything under control,

no room for change
or improvisation.

Everything according to plan,
your plan.

It's-it's your Christmas village
come to life.

But I didn't make it happen. I
woke up here just like you did.

Well,
keep telling yourself that.

Uh, why are you trying
to ruin this for me?

I'm sorry you find the truth
so upsetting.

I think I've had enough
of your company for a while.

Goodnight, Brandon.

Yeah, sure.
Okay, I'll just go home.

Oh, no, sorry, I can't do that
because I'm stuck here

in your weird little
Christmas fantasy land.

So I'll just go back to my
adorable stone house, I guess.

Good. Fine. Merry Christmas.

Ah, I finally have you
all to myself.

Thank you. I'll-I'll wear it
with the other ones.

Layering is in now, right?

- Goodnight, Darcy.
- Merry Christmas, Brandon.

Tom.

Right. Sorry. That was weird.

Merry Christmas, Tom.
Goodnight, Tom.

I'm sorry. I was a jerk.

Forgive me?

Brandon!

I said I'm sorry.

Relax. I can't stay mad at you.

Come on.

There's something
I wanna show ya.

- What?
- You'll see.

- What is it?
- You'll see.

Tell me.

- Check it out. Check it out.
- Huh.

Ah.

I know,
it's like a Disney movie, right?

I had no idea
it was so beautiful out here.

Reminds me of that hike we went
on freshman year. Remember?

You know,
I never told you this,

but... I thought
it was gonna be a date.

It was.

- No, it wasn't.
- It was supposed to be.

But, I, uh, I didn't exactly
have game when I was 18.

You could say that again.

- Don't rub it in.
- Rarr.

It's probably
the biggest regret of my life

that I didn't kiss you that day.

Well, I'm glad you didn't

because odds are
we would have broken up

and I wouldn't have
my best friend.

Right. Your best friend.

Hey, we don't know
where this goes.

We shouldn't...
We should go back.

Well, there's an easy way
to fix that.

We keep walking and find out.

Oh. Okay, Magellan.
Aye, aye, captain.

- Oh, look, a deer! Whoa!
- There's another one. Whoa!

Are you okay?

Absolutely. Totally fine.

Okay.

Hey, wait.
We should see where this goes.

Yeah.

Now,
that is picturesque.

Yeah.

- Should we say hi?
- Sure.

Hey.

Hi.

I wish I had an apple for you.

Your wish is granted.

I love it here.

- Good.
- Is that tasty?

Ooh. Yes. Oh.

Uh, gosh, it's getting cold.

Hell yeah.

- Gingerbread man?
- Ah! Thank you.

Oh, whoa.

These look so delicious.

Did you have enough?
Was that good?

Mm. Thank you.

Mm. Mm.

- Mm. Yeah.
- Gosh.

After me?

Brr, I'm cold.

Yeah, let's make a fire.

Okay.

Yes.

Right.

I wonder if there's anything
on TV here.

Come on, Real Housewives
Of The North Pole. Please.

Yule Log TV it is.

I always wanted my fireplace
and stereo.

- No? Okay, so...
- No. Not gonna work.

What are we going for,
like, regal

or, uh, rugged or inscrutable?

- Just be you. That's all I need.
- Okay.

Just need to get
a little closer.

Okay. Okay.

Oh, those are like ice.

Oh, you're so sensitive.

Yeah, let me warm 'em up for ya.

Oh, you'ight.
That is much better.

Yup.

- Hot cider, love?
- Uh. Ah.

Dad! That's so nice of you.

You're usually out
this time of day,

but you're inside today.

Yes. Thank you.

Darcy!

Darcy?

- Oh, Darcy!
- Come on in.

There you are.
I was so worried.

I-I looked for you, uh-uh,
in-in the square

and on the road and the mill
and the pub.

You weren't
at any of those places.

I know. I'm sorry. I...

I was just trying
something different today.

Different? But why?

Our days
are exactly as they should be.

Oh, you're all here.

You're usually out at this time.

Yup! All inside today.

Today is different.

I better get the dinner ready.

Well...

Uh, don't let us keep you
from...

wherever it is
you need to be going.

Oh, I'm right
where I'm supposed to be.

- Hm.
- Hm.

I am leaving.

♪ Dashing through the snow ♪

♪ In a one-horse open sleigh ♪

♪ O'er the fields we go ♪

♪ Laughing all the way ♪♪

"Up the chimney
he rose.

He sprang to his sleigh,
to his team gave a whistle.

And away they all flew,
like the down of a thistle.

But I heard him exclaim,
ere he drove out of sight...

Happy Christmas to all,
and to all a good night."

- Can I talk to you?
- Of course!

I can always make time
for my constituents.

No, no, no, I mean, as a friend.

Oh. Okay.

No, I really think you should
think about joining the choir.

It's such a great Christmas
experience, you should.

- You should.
- I know, but I can't.

- Oh, thank you.
- Thank you.

So.

What did you wanna talk about?

Well, I'm starting to wonder...

You know, like,
when you have a favorite sweater

and it's really comfortable
and soft,

but it has, maybe,
a few stains and some holes.

It's not really
a dress-up sweater,

though it does make you laugh.

But, when, out in the world,
you want a newer, fancier

more put-together,
less-frumpy sweater.

The kind of sweater
that makes a statement

about who you are and who you're
supposed to be with,

even if it's not as soft
as your old one.

I think maybe you just need
to wash it a few more times.

It's more
of a-a metaphorical sweater.

See, Tom--

Oh, don't worry about it.

He'll propose
when the time is right.

No, no, no. No, no,
that's not what I--

He's handsome, kind,

dependable, neat, punctual.

He's everything
anyone could want.

Right. You're right.

I don't wanna be with someone
who can't write things down

and is messy and unpredictable
and funny and exciting

and wrong for me.

Totally wrong for me.

Just trust that things are
how they are supposed to be.

Perfect.

Yeah. Perfect.

Hey.

- Hey, hey, you, uh, yesterday--
- Yeah, wait, stop, stop, stop.

I don't want you to
say anything we can't take back.

- Darcy, just-just wait. Hang on.
- No, no, no.

Please let me say this.

You are so important to me.

You are my oldest friend,
my best friend.

And that's how
I want it to stay.

That's what works.
That's what makes sense.

Makes sense?
What about what feels right?

We would drive each other crazy.

In a good way.

- We're too different.
- We're complementary.

You need a puzzle piece
you fit together with.

- Not an identical puzzle piece.
- You create chaos.

Ah. I push you
out of your comfort zone.

Brandon, I'm with Tom now.
You have to accept that.

With Tom?
Tom is not a real person.

This is not a real place.

None of this is real!

We can't know that!

So what, you're just planning
on staying here forever?

Why not? Things are good here.

- It's perfect here!
- Perfect?

Nothing ever changes!
Christmas has lost all meaning.

It was special because it came
once a year. Once!

There's only one reason I've
been putting up with all this

and that's you, because I lo...

Oh...

Yeah. 'Cause I'm an idiot.

I thought
this was the perfect opportunity

for me to finally show you
how good we could be together.

But all you want is a dream,
a safe, ordered fantasy

where you can hide behind
all your comfortable traditions

instead of taking a risk
on anything real!

No, no, no, Brandon.
Brandon, wait.

I can't believe it took me
this long to realize

you don't want change.
Let me finish, please, okay?

You keep doing the same thing
over and over again!

And that's not real life, Darcy.

Brandon!

Oh, what?

Tom.

I'm so glad I found you.
Brandon just--

Don't worry, Darcy.

There's still time
to go for a ride.

Why don't you pick some colors?
You'll feel better.

Oh. Uh, but what other colors
do you want?

None.

Black isn't very, um,
Christmassy.

Neither am I today.

Well, I had to add something
to make it a Christmas sweater.

I see.

What's that?

It's a snowma-corn.
The first of its kind!

There's no such thing
as a snowma-corn.

- There could be.
- That's funny.

What about salad for dinner?

Christmas pizza?

We always have turkey
for Christmas.

But it's always Christmas.
Couldn't we go out for Chinese?

Guess that's a no.

Okay.

Ah.

Thanks.

Don't you like it?

It's not that.
It's beautiful. It's just...

Don't you think that doing the
same thing every day is boring?

No.

Getting to live
the perfect Christmas

over and over again
with the perfect woman...

that's a dream come true.

Yes. A dream come true.
Goodnight.

- Tsk. Morning, Darcy.
- Mm...

How about I make
another batch of waffles?

No. Thank you.

Is there a burger joint in town?

We could go down to Pub.

Yeah, Pub sounds good.

Happy Christmas, dears!

- Happy Christmas.
- Happy Christmas.

Thank you.

Can I get a burger?

Well, since it's Christmas,

we only have
the Christmas special.

Turkey, gravy
and all the fixin's.

Of course.
Um, three specials. I guess.

Now, would you like that
with hot chocolate,

hot cider or eggnog?

- Surprise me.
- Comin' right up.

Mm.

I brought you one of each.

Lovely. Thank you.

Which one do you want?

We'll have whichever.

- But which do you want?
- Whichever you don't want.

If I weren't here,
which one would you drink?

But you are here. We want to
make sure you get what you want.

Dad, do you have any opinions?

Whatever you want is fine by me.

Really? No opinions?

Look, love,
we just want you to be happy.

Okay, then,
what would make me happy

is if you guys made a decision.

- We couldn't do that.
- No.

We know how much you like
being in charge.

Yeah,
we want to be certain

that you get what you want.

I don't want any of this.

Then what do you want?

I want a burger.

I don't think they have those.

I know. I will have the cider.

All right, love.
If that's what you want.

Darcy! There you are.

I was looking for you
everywhere.

- You found me.
- We're late for our ride.

I'm not really feeling like
riding today.

Well, it's-it's Christmas.

Couldn't we do anything else?

Come on. Something different.
Please.

Whoa! You're going
the wrong way!

Darcy.

Oh, fudge this.

What? That's not what I meant.
I meant figgy pudding.

I mean, toasted chestnuts!

W-w-what, what the humbug
is happening?

Darcy, that is no kind
of language for Christmas.

What are you talking about? All
I'm saying are Christmas words!

Oh, I think we both know
what you're trying to say.

And it's lacking
in the holiday cheer department.

It is not possible
for a person to be cheerful

one hundred percent of the time.

Well, not with that attitude.

Well, the chorus was lovely,
wasn't it?

Hm.

Um, so let me guess. You're
gonna give me a necklace now.

- Of course.
- And then we're gonna kiss.

Of course.

You know what? I...
Why don't we just skip all that?

I kind of feel like
being alone tonight. Okay?

Merry Christmas.

I'm getting out of here.

Stop that car now!

Striped woolen muffler!

Frosted fruitcake!

Okay. Come on.

Gate, secret door, ladder.

Jingle bells!

Stocking stuffer!

- Gingerbread man?
- Thank you.

- Gingerbread man?
- Not today.

But it's Christmas.

Oh, is it? I hadn't noticed.

It's only my millionth spin
on the infinite carousel

of Christmas that never ends.

So forgive me
if I want one gumdrop day

without one
of your stupid gingerbread men!

Oh, oh, oh, no, no. Oh, no, no.
I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

No, no, don't take it...
Uh, I take it back.

Don't do that.
Merry Christmas.

Thank you! I-I love
your gingerbread men, okay?

Merry Christmas, everybody!

Santa does love you! Okay.

Christmas not going
how you planned?

You?

You did this to me.

It was that stupid figurine
you gave me.

I opened a door.

You're the one
who went through it.

Well, open it back up...

"Elsie," 'cause I want out.

It's not a literal door, Darcy.

This world, it's yours.

Only you can get yourself
out of it.

But how?

What do you really want, Darcy?

- To go home.
- No.

In your heart of hearts,

what do you really want?

Ah, well,
you better figure it out...

or it's Christmas sweaters
forever.

Well, w-what do you mean? Elsie?
Christmas what?

Nutmeg!

What do I want?

What kind
of candy-cane question is that?

I know what I want.
I want to go home!

Oh, frost you, snow guy.
And frost this place.

I am never getting home.

Mayor Carmen's voice
was pitch perfect tonight.

Oh, yes, yes.
Oh, yes, yes.

What are you doing here, pet?

What are you doing?

- I don't know.
- Oh, you look so sad.

I-I-I'll make hot chocolate.

My current problem
is beyond hot chocolate.

I don't understand.

No problem
is beyond hot chocolate.

Tsk. And that's the problem.

Okay, now,
now I really don't understand.

I know.

I miss you guys.

Well, we're right here.

Not these yous.
I miss the real you.

I miss your laugh

and your opinions.

If the real you
could hear me say that,

I would get such an earful
of "I told you so."

I love you guys.

I don't tell you enough.

- We love you, too.
- We love you, too.

Darcy?

May I?

I'm worried about ya.

We're all worried about ya.

We all love you, Darcy,

but we can tell you're unhappy.

And we haven't been dancing
in days.

I don't understand
what's changed,

but...

I want to fill you
with comfort and joy.

Tell me how.

I'm not really sure.

Well, I have an idea.

Are you willing
to try something?

Trust me.

You're gonna look
like Cinderella.

- Yeah.
- Those beautiful soft curls.

The curls
are coming out really nicely.

So pretty.

What does it say?

- You look lovely.
- Thank you.

♪ Deck the halls
with boughs of holly ♪

♪ Fa-la-la-la-la la-la-la-la ♪

♪ 'Tis the season to be jolly ♪

♪ Fa-la-la-la-la la-la-la-la ♪

♪ Don we now our gay apparel ♪

♪ Fa-la-la la-la-la la-la-la ♪

♪ Troll the ancient
Yuletide carol... ♪♪

I'd like to dedicate
tonight's concert to Darcy,

our very own Miss Christmas.

I'm so glad to see you back
to your true self, Darcy.

♪ O holy night ♪

♪ The stars
are brightly shining ♪

♪ It is the night ♪

♪ Of our dear Savior's birth ♪

Merry Christmas.

Merry Christmas, Darcy.

Mom, dad, it's beautiful.

It's not perfect, but...

I love it.

You put on the finishing touch.

- Thanks.
- Where should it go?

Right there.

Excellent. Perfect spot.

♪ A thrill of hope ♪

♪ The weary world rejoices ♪

You'll never beat me,
Brandon.

Girls rule the castle.

♪ Fall on your knees ♪

- Hey, Darce?
- Hm?

- Yeah. I know, right?
- Ooh. Oh, I like that.

- You like it? Yeah? Okay.
- Yeah, it's very good, you.

Well, what about this one?

♪ O night divine ♪

Because you're confusing me.
I'm trying to teach you--

Annoying.
Don't. Don't throw at me.

I'd be so upset
if you throw that back at me.

- You would? Well, maybe I will!
- Yeah, I would. No!

♪ Divine ♪

♪ O night ♪

♪ O night divine ♪♪

- Tom--
- I know, it's overwhelming.

- Uh, n-no--
- Darcy...

Would you do me the great honor
of marrying me?

Uh...

No.

Sorry?

I don't love you.

I-I don't understand.

- Uh, we're perfect together.
- No.

We're the same puzzle piece.

I, I need to be with someone

who pushes me
out of my comfort zone,

who makes me a better person,

who reminds me

that perfect isn't about

how something looks,

it's about how it feels.

But we gave you everything
you could possibly dream of.

What I want isn't a dream.

It's reality.

It's messy and difficult

and wonderful.

It's my mom full of opinions

and my dad who laughs
too loud...

and my friend who is weird,

and dark and lovely

just as she is.

As you all are.

There isn't only one right way
to do Christmas.

There are other sbesides y

and other beverages
besides eggnog,

cider and hot chocolate.

Break out of the box.

Let yourselves
build snow unicorns.

Wear a purple sweater.

I believed that Christmas
should be a certain way.

And I was wrong.

So wrong.

Darcy, don't go in that.

I think it's my way home.

Thank you for everything.

Merry Christmas, Tom.

It was only a dream.

It was only a...

Uh...

You two are not gonna cause
anymore trouble.

I look ridiculous.

Who cares?

Brandon?

Darcy?

I-I wasn't sure if I was
ever gonna see you again.

I wasn't sure
you'd even want to.

- W-well, uh, you know...
- I...

I'm sorry that I got hung up
on the idea of being perfect,

which is crazy
because there's no such thing.

I've been holding back
all these years

because I've been afraid
of change.

I've been afraid
of losing my best friend,

instead of realizing
that everything I want

is standing right here
in front of me.

I love my best friend.

I wanna kiss my best friend.

I've waited so long
to hear you say that.

So what is with this dress?

Oh, um, well, I was crowned
Miss Christmas Town.

And Tom proposed
in front of the whole town

while Carmen serenaded us.

Tsk. So standard
Christmas Town stuff.

Yeah. Pretty much.

It makes me so happy
to see you with Brandon, love.

Mm-hmm. Thank you.
And you can say it.

- What?
- "I told you so."

- I would never.
- Mm-hmm. You were right.

Hey, Darcy. Where do you
want me to put this?

You decide.
I'm happy with whatever.

Okay, you know I told you

I love you exactly
the way you were, right?

Aw, that's sweet.

That is not that horrible
record of your mother's.

- Is it?
- Yes. It is.

Darcy said I could play it

because it makes me
feel like Christmas.

Well, then I get to play
my Dogs Barking

Jingle Bells album.

- Not that awful--
- You know what?

We'll try it. I love you guys.

You know,
there is an alternate universe

where you are very, very nice
to each other.

Let's try to tap into that, huh?
Merry Christmas.

Kid's got a point.

Yes. You haven't food
in your teeth yet.

So there's that.

Thanks.

And the smell
of the Christmas tree

is overpowering
your terrible perfume.

So that's nice.

- Merry Christmas, Bill.
- Merry Christmas, Sylvia.

I thought it wasn't a holiday
for you without a turkey.

Oh, I think it's gonna be
a very long time

before I feel like turkey again.

Hey, Darcy, who's
the extra place setting for?

Oh, just you wait.

- Hey, come on in.
- Hey. Thanks.

- Hey, Tom.
- Hey.

Hey, thanks so much
for inviting me, Darcy.

It's actually my first Christmas
not flying home,

so I wasn't really sure
what I was gonna do.

Yeah, come on in.

So glad you could join us, man.

- You must be Brandon, right?
- Yeah.

- Yeah, I've heard all about you.
- Cool.

Uh, Tom, I actually thought
you could sit over here.

Next to Carmen.

Yeah, sounds good.

Everybody, thank you for coming

to our first Everybody's
Favorite Food Christmas.

I'm so happy to be able to spend
this day with people I love.

- Hear, hear.
- Mm, hear, hear.

- Cheers.
- Cheers everyone.

- Cheers.
- All right, dig in.

- That was great!
- Oh, man.

I could get used
to these kind of Christmases.

Well, try not to get
too attached.

I might wanna change it up
next year.

Yeah, well, whatever you want.

Whatever we want.

Darcy, where is
your Christmas village?

Oh, I decided it was time
to let that go.

It's beautiful, isn't it?

It's perfect.