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[grand orchestral fanfare playing]
2
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[dogs barking]
3
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["Fo||ow You" playing]
4
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[birds chirping]
5
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[dog] Today is gonna be the best day ever.
6
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How do / knowthat?
7
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Because e very day is the best day ever.
8
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/ love my life.
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/ love sunsh/he, / love butterflies.
10
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But more than anyth/hg,
11
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/ la ve Doug.
12
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-Hey!
-[barking]
13
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Shut the fuck up!
14
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Fucking piece of shit.
15
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[dog] That’s Doug.
Also known as the best owner in the war/d.
16
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-[barks]
-[grunts]
17
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[dog] I still remember
the first day we met
18
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-She was too flirting with you.
-[dog barks]
19
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[gasps] Hey, babies!
20
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[dog] The second Doug laid eyes on me,
we knew we were meant to be togethen
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Fuck.
22
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[dog] Ever since that day,
he and / have been inseparable.
23
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Why is Doug so great?
24
00:01:47,174 --> 00:01:49,472
- Where do [beg/n?
-Get down.
25
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[Doug] He loves being around me
so much, he doesn’t even have a job.
26
00:01:54,314 --> 00:01:56,942
Also, Doug doesn’t get me boring dog toys.
27
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He lets me come up with my own toys.
28
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Hi, Reggie. What you got?
29
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[Reggie] Like this stretchy thing.
30
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-What the fuck!
-Uh...
31
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Those aren't mine.
32
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There's a simple explanation.
33
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This was supposed to be
a Christmas present.
34
00:02:09,663 --> 00:02:11,187
Doug, it's July.
35
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[Reggie] Sometimes I worry rfl'm doing
a good job making Doug happy
36
00:02:14,334 --> 00:02:16,029
-You don't get it.
-I'm done. Reggie.
37
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[Reggie] But then /rea/ized
/do make Doug happy.
38
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What are you doing?
You don't even like the dog.
39
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I love this dog. [kisses]
40
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[Reggie] And that makes me happy.
41
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-[sighs]
-All that matters is that you like him.
42
00:02:27,447 --> 00:02:29,312
And I like that
you don't get to have him.
43
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You are a total fucking loser.
44
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-Yeah, a loser with a dog.
-[door slams shut]
45
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[Reggie] Honest/y,
the only thing in the world
46
00:02:37,357 --> 00:02:39,518
that Doug maybe loves more than me
47
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is his favorite toy: his penis.
48
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He gives it haircuts,
he watches Tl/with it...
49
00:02:46,466 --> 00:02:49,367
[actor on computer] Flip it around.l
-Stop staring. You're ruining it.
50
00:02:49,469 --> 00:02:53,565
[Reggie] And the way he pets that thing,
sometimes / wish / was a penis.
51
00:02:53,674 --> 00:02:56,871
But every time / try to play with it,
he gets so possessive.
52
00:02:56,977 --> 00:02:58,501
Get off! Get-- Bad dog!
53
00:02:58,578 --> 00:03:01,513
[Reggie] The key to any good relationship
is be why things in common.
54
00:03:01,581 --> 00:03:02,741
We both like barking...
55
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-[coughing]
-[barking]
56
00:03:06,420 --> 00:03:08,911
[Reggie] We both love a good scratch.
57
00:03:09,022 --> 00:03:09,852
[sniffing]
58
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[Reggie] And we can stay up all night,
just talking for hours.
59
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[groans]
60
00:03:18,598 --> 00:03:21,032
You fucked up my life, didn't you?
61
00:03:21,101 --> 00:03:23,069
[Reggie] Even though / don’t understand
what he is saying...
62
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She never would have found out
if it wasn't for your dumb ass.
63
00:03:26,506 --> 00:03:28,667
...lcan tell he loves me.
64
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[knocking on door]
65
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[Reggie] And while l don ’t know
that many human beings,
66
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/ think it’s safe to assume
hes one of the best.
67
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Oh, goddamn.
68
00:03:38,885 --> 00:03:40,512
It's bullshit, Mom.
69
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They're kicking me out 'cause
your last check wasn't enough for rent.
70
00:03:43,390 --> 00:03:45,790
[Reggie] You might say Doug is messy,
but lately. ..
71
00:03:45,892 --> 00:03:47,587
No, I'm not gonna
move back home.
72
00:03:47,694 --> 00:03:50,254
...he's been much better
at putting his toys away.
73
00:03:50,363 --> 00:03:51,694
No, I'm sorry. Look.
74
00:03:51,765 --> 00:03:54,393
It's just you know that
I can't live that close to a school.
75
00:03:56,269 --> 00:03:58,464
No!
76
00:04:01,908 --> 00:04:05,435
Bad dog! That's my favorite
fucking bong, dude!
77
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[sighs]
78
00:04:11,752 --> 00:04:14,585
Oh. You like that ball, don't you?
79
00:04:15,789 --> 00:04:18,952
[Reggie] Lately, Doug has been playing
a brand-new game with me
80
00:04:19,059 --> 00:04:20,321
cal/ed ’l-'etch and Fuok’f’
81
00:04:20,427 --> 00:04:21,621
Fetch.
82
00:04:21,728 --> 00:04:24,993
[Reggie] Basically, Doug drops me oh‘
really far away. . .
83
00:04:25,098 --> 00:04:26,895
Sayonara, ke-mo sah-bee.
84
00:04:26,967 --> 00:04:30,095
. . . throws the ball,
and drives home without me.
85
00:04:30,170 --> 00:04:33,833
Then its my turn to get the ball
and find my way back home!
86
00:04:34,641 --> 00:04:37,235
- When lbn'ng the ball back, he says--
-Fuck.
87
00:04:37,310 --> 00:04:39,642
[Reggie laughs]
And that’s how / know/ won the gamel
88
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[Doug] Fetch!
89
00:04:42,916 --> 00:04:44,781
[Reggie]
We ’ve been playing it a lotlate/y.
90
00:04:44,851 --> 00:04:46,614
-[Doug] Fuck!
-[Reggie] Sometimes we play it
91
00:04:46,686 --> 00:04:48,654
three or four times in the same day.
92
00:04:48,755 --> 00:04:50,245
-Fetch!
-[Reggie barks]
93
00:04:50,323 --> 00:04:51,585
Fuck!
94
00:04:51,658 --> 00:04:53,421
Fetch! Fuck!
95
00:04:53,493 --> 00:04:54,482
[Reggie] Fuck!
96
00:04:54,594 --> 00:04:56,027
Fuck'
97
00:04:58,965 --> 00:05:00,330
Holy tuck!
98
00:05:00,433 --> 00:05:02,924
[Reggie] ”Holy fuck” is right!
/ win again!
99
00:05:03,637 --> 00:05:04,626
That's it.
100
00:05:06,306 --> 00:05:08,297
This ends now.
101
00:05:08,375 --> 00:05:10,275
["Shine on Me“ playing]
102
00:05:10,343 --> 00:05:12,470
5 You only got a couple miles to go i
103
00:05:12,546 --> 00:05:14,480
it If you ’re tn/ing to drive me insane... it
104
00:05:14,548 --> 00:05:16,846
[Reggie] These road trips are the best!
105
00:05:16,950 --> 00:05:20,545
Because you get to see
the exciting world outside our town.
106
00:05:23,890 --> 00:05:25,482
Keep driving, Doug!
107
00:05:26,026 --> 00:05:27,823
Don’t make it too easy on me.
108
00:05:28,795 --> 00:05:30,729
[Reggie chuckles] / love a challenge.
109
00:05:30,831 --> 00:05:33,891
5 Cause lhide from everyone it
110
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J‘ Shine on me r
111
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J‘ Shine on me r
112
00:05:44,144 --> 00:05:46,669
J‘ Shine on me r
113
00:05:49,683 --> 00:05:52,208
[Reggie] This round’s gonna be
the hardest one yet,
114
00:05:52,319 --> 00:05:56,221
because we went way further
than we ’ve ever gone before.
115
00:05:56,323 --> 00:05:59,656
in fact, lha ve no idea where we are.
116
00:05:59,726 --> 00:06:01,193
And that’s exciting!
117
00:06:05,732 --> 00:06:08,530
lknow the world seems like
a scary place sometimes,
118
00:06:08,602 --> 00:06:09,694
but! don’t worry.
119
00:06:09,769 --> 00:06:10,827
Good luck fetching this.
120
00:06:10,904 --> 00:06:13,771
[Reggie]
Because I’m always safe at Doug’s side.
121
00:06:13,874 --> 00:06:17,503
-[truck engine starts]
-[tires screeching]
122
00:06:58,151 --> 00:07:00,949
[Reggie] Sure, Doug real/y
challenges me with this game,
123
00:07:02,122 --> 00:07:04,716
but thats just because he believes in me.
124
00:07:04,791 --> 00:07:06,486
[thunder rumbling]
125
00:07:06,593 --> 00:07:11,587
[Reggie] You know what they say:
The best relationships are the hard ones.
126
00:07:12,599 --> 00:07:14,123
You have to put in the work
127
00:07:15,135 --> 00:07:17,763
-[clattering]
-[Reggie] You gotta have courage.
128
00:07:18,471 --> 00:07:21,133
And you always need to remember
that real love. . .
129
00:07:22,809 --> 00:07:24,071
is never easy.
130
00:07:47,767 --> 00:07:49,962
But even though Have this game,
131
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lklnda want it to be over.
132
00:07:52,973 --> 00:07:57,205
Because, well,
I real/y/ust wanna be home.
133
00:08:04,651 --> 00:08:05,675
[horn honks]
134
00:08:08,521 --> 00:08:10,216
[dog barking nearby]
135
00:08:10,323 --> 00:08:12,791
Okay, time to get moving.
136
00:08:13,493 --> 00:08:15,723
[singsongy] Going back to Doug's.
137
00:08:19,199 --> 00:08:20,564
[siren wailing in distance]
138
00:08:20,667 --> 00:08:22,191
[muffled] This is a nice neighborhood.
139
00:08:22,302 --> 00:08:23,530
-[cat yowling]
-[clattering]
140
00:08:23,636 --> 00:08:25,695
I like all the trash.
141
00:08:25,805 --> 00:08:28,467
And the needles. So many needles.
142
00:08:30,477 --> 00:08:33,969
Hey, honey, you ever been with
an Afghan before?
143
00:08:34,047 --> 00:08:37,642
[Reggie muffled] Uh, no,
I don't think so, but thank you.
144
00:08:40,186 --> 00:08:43,485
Well, well, well.
What do we have here?
145
00:08:43,556 --> 00:08:44,545
You lost?
146
00:08:45,492 --> 00:08:48,825
Hi, there, big dogs. Yes, lam lost.
147
00:08:48,895 --> 00:08:50,385
I'm trying to get to Doug's place.
148
00:08:50,497 --> 00:08:52,089
Do-- Do you know which way
that is from here?
149
00:08:53,033 --> 00:08:55,558
-Hmm... You say Doug's place?
-I did, yeah.
150
00:08:55,668 --> 00:08:58,102
-Oh, yeah, I know which way that is.
-Oh, great.
151
00:08:58,204 --> 00:09:00,604
Right up my fucking ass,
you little shit.
152
00:09:00,707 --> 00:09:01,867
Oh... No, that can't be right.
153
00:09:01,941 --> 00:09:05,206
[stammers] Okay.
Well, I'll just be on my way.
154
00:09:05,278 --> 00:09:07,576
Uh, can I please have my ball back?
155
00:09:07,680 --> 00:09:10,410
Your ball? You'll be lucky
if I let you leave with your life.
156
00:09:10,517 --> 00:09:13,953
Hey! Who in the fuck is making
all that noise in my fucking alley?
157
00:09:14,054 --> 00:09:15,351
Who's this guy?
158
00:09:15,422 --> 00:09:18,880
Oh, you don't want me to come around
this fucking corner now, do you?
159
00:09:18,958 --> 00:09:20,892
Shit's gonna get crackin'. Trust me!
160
00:09:20,960 --> 00:09:22,860
You wanna dance, motherfuckers, huh?
161
00:09:22,929 --> 00:09:25,227
You wanna dance? Let's do this.
162
00:09:26,699 --> 00:09:28,633
What‘s up, bitches? Huh?
163
00:09:28,735 --> 00:09:30,032
Oh, he's tiny.
164
00:09:30,103 --> 00:09:32,628
The shadow.
I thought he was fucking big.
165
00:09:32,739 --> 00:09:34,138
Yeah, we can destroy this guy, right?
166
00:09:34,240 --> 00:09:37,471
Yeah, go ahead, bite me,
you raggedy motherfuckers.
167
00:09:37,577 --> 00:09:38,703
I dare you!
168
00:09:38,778 --> 00:09:40,575
You know how many diseases is up in me?
169
00:09:40,647 --> 00:09:42,137
Rabies, scabies,
170
00:09:42,248 --> 00:09:45,149
whatever disease you can get
from tongue-fucking a dead squirrel,
171
00:09:45,251 --> 00:09:48,243
which I did last night,
'cause I'm crazy, man!
172
00:09:48,321 --> 00:09:49,447
[sputters]
173
00:09:49,556 --> 00:09:51,285
That's a 37-inch vertical.
174
00:09:51,391 --> 00:09:53,325
I'ma tell you right now,
you run up on me,
175
00:09:53,426 --> 00:09:56,987
and I'll stick this paw right up your ass
and in his. Like a shish kebab.
176
00:09:57,097 --> 00:09:58,121
Whoa. This guy seems nuts.
177
00:09:58,231 --> 00:09:59,789
Look at the way
he's barking at his own ass.
178
00:09:59,899 --> 00:10:02,925
I'll do it! I'll do it!
I'll bite my own ass off!
179
00:10:03,002 --> 00:10:05,334
Oh, man.
The fuck is wrong with this guy?
180
00:10:05,438 --> 00:10:07,804
I'm so crazy I'll fuck the trash!
181
00:10:07,907 --> 00:10:09,568
You like it, don't you? [grunts]
You like it.
182
00:10:09,642 --> 00:10:10,973
You wanna get recycled?
183
00:10:11,077 --> 00:10:14,103
Anybody got a twisty tie?
'Cause I'm fucking this bag up.
184
00:10:14,180 --> 00:10:15,340
Okay, who's next?
185
00:10:15,448 --> 00:10:16,676
He's freaking me out. Let's bounce.
186
00:10:16,783 --> 00:10:19,081
[Boston terrier] I‘ll fight you
or fuck you. Dealer's choice.
187
00:10:19,152 --> 00:10:21,086
But either way,
you're getting worms!
188
00:10:21,821 --> 00:10:24,016
[laughs] Large breeds, man.
189
00:10:24,124 --> 00:10:28,117
These motherfuckers, man, always
falling for that crazy little dog trick.
190
00:10:28,194 --> 00:10:29,252
Hey, you with me, kid?
191
00:10:29,329 --> 00:10:31,957
'Cause this block ain't for dogs like you.
We should get the hell outta here.
192
00:10:32,031 --> 00:10:33,692
But my tennis ball...
193
00:10:33,800 --> 00:10:35,267
Ah, fuck it.
We'll get you another one.
194
00:10:38,271 --> 00:10:40,466
[dog barking in distance]
195
00:10:40,540 --> 00:10:42,633
I'm Bug, by the way.
You got a name?
196
00:10:42,709 --> 00:10:45,803
Oh. Right, sorry.
It's good to meet you, Bug.
197
00:10:45,879 --> 00:10:47,779
-My name is Shitbag.
-What?
198
00:10:47,847 --> 00:10:50,111
Oh, it's short for “Dumbass Shitbag.“
199
00:10:50,183 --> 00:10:52,708
But sometimes,
Doug pronounces it "Fucknugget."
200
00:10:52,819 --> 00:10:55,447
Uh, none of those
sound like names.
201
00:10:55,522 --> 00:10:59,652
Oh. Well, Doug's lady friend
used to call me "Reggie."
202
00:10:59,726 --> 00:11:01,887
Reggie. There you go.
Yeah, we're gonna go with that.
203
00:11:01,995 --> 00:11:03,053
Let's keep moving.
204
00:11:03,163 --> 00:11:05,688
So, how long you been
a stray for, Reggie?
205
00:11:05,798 --> 00:11:07,493
Oh, I... No, I'm not a stray.
206
00:11:07,567 --> 00:11:09,865
-Oh, you're not?
-I-l'm just out here temporarily.
207
00:11:09,969 --> 00:11:11,231
-Oh.
-I actually have an owner.
208
00:11:11,337 --> 00:11:14,170
We're playing this game
where he drops me of! far away...
209
00:11:14,240 --> 00:11:15,400
-Mm-hmm. Right.
-...throws a ball,
210
00:11:15,508 --> 00:11:17,976
and then it's my turn
to bring the ball back home.
211
00:11:18,044 --> 00:11:19,636
[laughs]
212
00:11:19,712 --> 00:11:22,180
[chuckling]
213
00:11:22,248 --> 00:11:23,306
[both laughing]
214
00:11:23,883 --> 00:11:25,646
-[Bug] Holy shit!
-Yeah.
215
00:11:25,718 --> 00:11:29,882
That's, uh... I-I-I'm sorry, man,
but that's incredibly tragic
216
00:11:29,989 --> 00:11:33,481
and the funniest fucking thing
I've heard in a long fucking time.
217
00:11:33,560 --> 00:11:34,993
Glad you're having a good laugh.
218
00:11:35,061 --> 00:11:36,255
Take it from me, kid.
219
00:11:36,362 --> 00:11:39,559
That owner of yours,
he's not playing any game with you.
220
00:11:39,666 --> 00:11:41,429
-He left your ass, okay?
-Huh?
221
00:11:41,534 --> 00:11:44,059
You are officially a stray.
222
00:11:44,170 --> 00:11:45,364
Don't call me that.
223
00:11:45,438 --> 00:11:46,996
It's nothing to be ashamed of.
224
00:11:47,073 --> 00:11:50,099
I'm a stray and I'm having
the time of my life.
225
00:11:50,210 --> 00:11:51,677
You'll learn. How old are you?
226
00:11:51,744 --> 00:11:52,904
I'm two.
227
00:11:53,012 --> 00:11:56,709
Well, I'm three, and I have seen it all.
Paw to God.
228
00:11:56,783 --> 00:12:00,685
I once saw a dog
that was half Labrador and half poodle.
229
00:12:00,753 --> 00:12:02,516
-A-A Labradoodle!
-No. No, no, no.
230
00:12:02,589 --> 00:12:03,749
A Poo-dor.
231
00:12:03,856 --> 00:12:05,118
-A Poo-dor?
-The other way around.
232
00:12:05,225 --> 00:12:07,090
-Even fucking weirder.
-Yeah.
233
00:12:07,193 --> 00:12:10,890
Point is, life out here on your own
can be fucking awesome,
234
00:12:10,964 --> 00:12:12,795
as long as you go by the rules.
235
00:12:12,899 --> 00:12:15,094
W-Well, what rules?
236
00:12:15,201 --> 00:12:18,432
Rule number one:
You want something, you pee on it.
237
00:12:18,538 --> 00:12:20,472
Whatever you pee on, it's yours.
238
00:12:20,573 --> 00:12:21,562
Let's try it out.
239
00:12:21,641 --> 00:12:23,632
-You see that lamppost over there?
-Yeah.
240
00:12:23,743 --> 00:12:25,438
I want you to go over there
and pee on that.
241
00:12:25,545 --> 00:12:26,773
And you're sure this is okay?
242
00:12:26,879 --> 00:12:28,710
Go ahead.
Ain't nobody givin' a fuck.
243
00:12:28,781 --> 00:12:30,806
You're a fucking stray now.
That's my point.
244
00:12:30,917 --> 00:12:34,614
Well, I'm not a stray, but, yeah, okay.
245
00:12:34,721 --> 00:12:37,281
Congratulations. You now own a lamppost.
246
00:12:39,158 --> 00:12:40,284
Oh, wow.
247
00:12:40,393 --> 00:12:41,951
[Bug] Now, let's talk rule number two.
248
00:12:42,061 --> 00:12:44,461
You can pretty much fuck
whatever you want.
249
00:12:44,564 --> 00:12:46,293
Have you ever humped anything before?
250
00:12:46,399 --> 00:12:48,390
Well, I wouldn't say I've humped per se,
251
00:12:48,468 --> 00:12:50,561
but I do like to dance on Doug's leg.
252
00:12:50,637 --> 00:12:52,127
Dude, that wasn't dancing.
253
00:12:52,238 --> 00:12:54,832
Baby, you was humping.
The devil's dance.
254
00:12:54,941 --> 00:12:59,810
But now, the world is like a buffet
for yourtiny dog dick.
255
00:12:59,912 --> 00:13:01,174
-Really?
-You know what?
256
00:13:01,281 --> 00:13:02,646
I recently fucked this couch.
257
00:13:02,749 --> 00:13:04,273
-No.
-Mm-hmm.
258
00:13:04,350 --> 00:13:06,580
-Best sex of my life.
-Wow. Really?
259
00:13:06,653 --> 00:13:08,780
Yeah, a-a-and she dirty, too.
260
00:13:08,855 --> 00:13:10,117
Oh, well, H can tell.
261
00:13:10,189 --> 00:13:12,316
Looks like she hasn't been washed
in years.
262
00:13:12,425 --> 00:13:13,983
[smacks lips] I'll see you later, baby.
263
00:13:17,797 --> 00:13:19,128
It was nice to meet you.
264
00:13:20,300 --> 00:13:22,359
Now, rule number three.
265
00:13:22,935 --> 00:13:26,462
And this is the most important, bar none.
266
00:13:26,539 --> 00:13:29,667
You are on your own.
267
00:13:29,776 --> 00:13:32,438
-That's awful.
-That's not a bad thing, all right?
268
00:13:32,512 --> 00:13:33,604
Right now, you're freaking out
269
00:13:33,680 --> 00:13:36,205
‘cause you feel like, you know,
y-y-you need this Doug guy.
270
00:13:36,316 --> 00:13:39,717
-I do!
-But no, no, trust me, you don't.
271
00:13:39,819 --> 00:13:42,549
Humans trick us into thinking
that we need 'em.
272
00:13:42,655 --> 00:13:44,555
But they'rejust brainwashing us, man.
273
00:13:44,657 --> 00:13:47,717
Point is, you ain't gotta
deal with that shit no more, okay?
274
00:13:47,827 --> 00:13:48,851
You a stray.
275
00:13:48,961 --> 00:13:51,361
-You can do anything you want now.
-I don't know.
276
00:13:51,464 --> 00:13:55,525
Come on, repeat after me.
"I can do anything."
277
00:13:55,635 --> 00:13:58,297
I can do... anything?
278
00:13:58,371 --> 00:13:59,838
Damn fucking right you can.
279
00:13:59,906 --> 00:14:03,706
Now, you wanna see how fucked-up
humans can be? Come on.
280
00:14:04,010 --> 00:14:05,238
[people chattering]
281
00:14:05,345 --> 00:14:07,870
[Bug] Look at these motherfuckers here.
282
00:14:07,980 --> 00:14:08,969
[dog barks]
283
00:14:09,048 --> 00:14:10,845
[Bug] A bunch of pet dogs,
284
00:14:10,917 --> 00:14:13,010
losing their minds
over their 15 minutes of freedom.
285
00:14:13,086 --> 00:14:17,250
God, if only our wolf ancestors
could see these pussies.
286
00:14:18,391 --> 00:14:19,824
Follow me.
287
00:14:19,892 --> 00:14:22,224
Now, why are these humans
so desperate to keep us?
288
00:14:22,328 --> 00:14:24,694
-Because they love us?
-No, no, I got a theory.
289
00:14:24,764 --> 00:14:27,096
-They need us for our poop.
-Huh?
290
00:14:27,200 --> 00:14:28,531
[Bug] Watch that lady. Watch her.
291
00:14:28,601 --> 00:14:30,068
-See? See?
-[Reggie] Uh-huh.
292
00:14:30,169 --> 00:14:32,399
[Bug] It's like they're collecting it
for something.
293
00:14:32,505 --> 00:14:33,699
[Reggie]
What do you think they do with it?
294
00:14:33,773 --> 00:14:35,434
I think they're using it
to make chocolate.
295
00:14:35,541 --> 00:14:37,008
-Oh.
-Have you ever had a piece of chocolate?
296
00:14:37,076 --> 00:14:38,338
-No.
-Exactly.
297
00:14:38,411 --> 00:14:40,003
Come on.
I'm gonna introduce you to my homies.
298
00:14:40,079 --> 00:14:42,206
I thought you said
these dogs were all losers.
299
00:14:42,281 --> 00:14:44,215
Yeah, yeah, yeah. I say a lot of shit.
300
00:14:44,283 --> 00:14:45,545
-Hey, losers.
-Hey, Bug.
301
00:14:45,618 --> 00:14:48,348
Ugh. If it isn't the tiny dog
who caught the car.
302
00:14:48,421 --> 00:14:50,719
-I did catch that car.
-No, everyone knows that's impossible.
303
00:14:50,790 --> 00:14:53,452
-Yeah, it was parked.
-Yeah, it parked after I caught it.
304
00:14:53,559 --> 00:14:55,754
-No, there was no one in the car.
-No one in the car.
305
00:14:55,862 --> 00:14:57,796
Listen, I don't even have to keep
this conversation going.
306
00:14:57,897 --> 00:15:00,092
What I was trying to do, losers,
307
00:15:00,199 --> 00:15:02,463
was introduce you
to my new friend, Reggie.
308
00:15:02,568 --> 00:15:03,796
He just got dumped.
309
00:15:03,903 --> 00:15:05,700
Aw, sorry, mate.
Welcome to the club.
310
00:15:05,772 --> 00:15:07,535
I'm sorry. Was it at least mutual?
311
00:15:07,607 --> 00:15:09,939
-No, it's actually just a game.
-Reg, I want you to meet Hunter.
312
00:15:10,042 --> 00:15:13,307
He's a therapy dog who works in
a home for dying humans.
313
00:15:13,413 --> 00:15:15,108
Which sounds like an okay gig,
314
00:15:15,214 --> 00:15:17,444
except that he was trained
to be a police dog.
315
00:15:17,550 --> 00:15:19,814
You almost made it to the police squad?
316
00:15:19,919 --> 00:15:20,908
That's awesome.
317
00:15:20,987 --> 00:15:23,217
Oh. [chuckles]
Yeah, I... I guess it's awesome.
318
00:15:23,289 --> 00:15:25,052
Get the fuck out of my way, cone boy.
319
00:15:25,124 --> 00:15:26,785
Oh. [chuckles] Sorry about that, Bubsy.
320
00:15:26,893 --> 00:15:28,884
Hunter, say something back, mate.
321
00:15:28,961 --> 00:15:30,053
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
322
00:15:30,129 --> 00:15:31,653
Um... Hey, Bubsy.
323
00:15:31,764 --> 00:15:34,232
You got any fucking. ..
weekend plans?
324
00:15:34,300 --> 00:15:36,063
-What? Still sounds friendly.
-[Reggie] You got him.
325
00:15:36,135 --> 00:15:38,467
-Yeah, raw-doggin' your mom.
-Ah. Right.
326
00:15:38,571 --> 00:15:41,836
Well, I'm pretty sure she's dead,
but good luck anyway.
327
00:15:41,941 --> 00:15:42,805
Pussy!
328
00:15:42,909 --> 00:15:44,900
[chuckles] Love those obsenrations, Bubs.
Take care.
329
00:15:44,977 --> 00:15:46,239
Hunter, get your weight up.
330
00:15:46,312 --> 00:15:47,609
Don't let him talk to you like that.
331
00:15:47,680 --> 00:15:50,012
-You're the biggest dog here!
-You should eat his freakin' face off,
332
00:15:50,116 --> 00:15:51,606
shit it out and then eat it again.
333
00:15:51,684 --> 00:15:53,675
Bug, you know I don't love confrontation.
334
00:15:53,786 --> 00:15:56,311
Yeah, don't let the big dick fool you.
He's just a gigantic pussy.
335
00:15:56,422 --> 00:15:59,585
Whoa. It is a great penis.
336
00:15:59,659 --> 00:16:01,820
Oh, thanks.
You know, I try to keep it clean.
337
00:16:01,928 --> 00:16:03,520
Do my best to lick it as much as possible.
338
00:16:03,629 --> 00:16:05,290
Yeah, the only thing
thicker than Hunter's dick
339
00:16:05,364 --> 00:16:06,991
is the sexual tension
between these two.
340
00:16:07,099 --> 00:16:09,158
-Oh, come on. [chuckles]
-Bug, no. What?
341
00:16:09,268 --> 00:16:10,929
-That's funny, though.
-Yeah, right. Imagine.
342
00:16:11,003 --> 00:16:13,494
-[Hunter] "Thicker than Hunter's dick.“
-[chuckling]
343
00:16:13,606 --> 00:16:14,800
-But, no. No. [clears throat]
-No.
344
00:16:14,874 --> 00:16:17,934
Now, Maggie, on the other hand,
is one bad bitch.
345
00:16:18,010 --> 00:16:19,875
But sadly, her owner, Jenna,
346
00:16:19,979 --> 00:16:22,539
thinks the badder bitch is the puppy
that replaced her.
347
00:16:22,648 --> 00:16:24,843
So Bella looked at me,
like, "I want a cupcake too,"
348
00:16:24,951 --> 00:16:26,782
so I was, like,
”I'm gonna get her a cupcake."
349
00:16:26,853 --> 00:16:28,980
-I am so here for that.
-Right?
350
00:16:29,055 --> 00:16:32,786
So, Jenna said, "sit," which I did.
351
00:16:32,859 --> 00:16:34,224
But then I thought,
352
00:16:34,327 --> 00:16:36,158
wouldn't it be cute
if I acted all confused
353
00:16:36,229 --> 00:16:38,697
-and tilted my head, like, "Huh?"
-[dogs] Oh, my God, stop.
354
00:16:38,798 --> 00:16:40,493
Man, sure gotta suck
to compete with that.
355
00:16:40,566 --> 00:16:41,726
No, it's fine. [chuckles]
356
00:16:41,834 --> 00:16:43,358
Bella's young and cute and fun,
357
00:16:43,469 --> 00:16:46,199
so of course Jenna loves her more
than me right now, and I get that.
358
00:16:46,305 --> 00:16:48,830
Cool. Anyways, I was thinking,
if you guys are free later--
359
00:16:48,908 --> 00:16:51,741
But what I really don't get is
why Jenna thinks it's so adorable
360
00:16:51,844 --> 00:16:54,210
when she spins around in circles.
I could do that in my sleep.
361
00:16:54,313 --> 00:16:56,144
-You know what, it‘s totally fine.
-Mmm. Okay.
362
00:16:56,215 --> 00:16:58,513
You know what? It doesn't get to me
so much anymore. I'm fine.
363
00:16:58,584 --> 00:17:00,711
I'm notjealous or worried
or angry or depressed
364
00:17:00,820 --> 00:17:02,879
or confused or fuming
or unhinged at all.
365
00:17:02,989 --> 00:17:04,354
Yeah, you seem totally fine.
366
00:17:04,423 --> 00:17:06,482
And now that Jenna's spending
so much time with Bella,
367
00:17:06,559 --> 00:17:08,220
it's given me a chance
to do a little self-care.
368
00:17:08,327 --> 00:17:09,555
I've been going into the digging.
369
00:17:09,662 --> 00:17:11,493
I like the feeling of the soil
under my nails.
370
00:17:11,564 --> 00:17:14,499
I'm out in the fresh air again.
I'm just connecting to the land.
371
00:17:14,567 --> 00:17:18,196
No, I'm learning I love digging.
I love digging! I love it! I love to dig!
372
00:17:18,271 --> 00:17:19,863
[pug whimpers]
373
00:17:19,939 --> 00:17:21,702
-[Hunter clears throat]
-What's happening?
374
00:17:21,774 --> 00:17:24,072
[chuckles] See, Reg?
Aren't you happy to be a stray now
375
00:17:24,176 --> 00:17:26,201
and not have to deal
with all that owner bullshit?
376
00:17:26,279 --> 00:17:28,509
Well, no. As I said, I'm not a stray.
377
00:17:28,581 --> 00:17:29,878
Doug and l are just playing a game.
378
00:17:29,949 --> 00:17:30,881
Mm-hmm.
379
00:17:30,950 --> 00:17:32,781
Look, why don't you come out
with us tonight?
380
00:17:32,885 --> 00:17:36,844
And you can learn how beautiful
it can be when you're off the leash.
381
00:17:36,923 --> 00:17:40,256
If I can't convince you
that being stray is great,
382
00:17:40,359 --> 00:17:42,122
-scraps night will.
-[Hunter] Sure will.
383
00:17:42,228 --> 00:17:45,026
Well, thank you, but I really
should be getting back to Doug.
384
00:17:45,097 --> 00:17:46,359
What? Why?
385
00:17:46,432 --> 00:17:49,196
So I can make him happy.
Isn't that a dog's purpose?
386
00:17:49,268 --> 00:17:52,567
-Don‘t you ever say that again!
-Here we go.
387
00:17:52,638 --> 00:17:57,803
Reggie, your purpose is not to make
some stupid human families happy.
388
00:17:57,910 --> 00:18:01,209
It's not to make some single loser
feel more complete.
389
00:18:01,280 --> 00:18:03,271
Your purpose is to do
390
00:18:03,382 --> 00:18:05,577
-whatever the fuck you want.
-Whatever the fuck you want.
391
00:18:05,651 --> 00:18:07,141
And when you are a stray,
392
00:18:07,253 --> 00:18:09,721
-there's a lot to fucking do.
-[Maggie, Hunter] ...a lot to fucking do.
393
00:18:09,789 --> 00:18:11,450
Why do I feel like
there's an echo in here?
394
00:18:11,557 --> 00:18:13,388
-You've said this a million times.
-[Reggie] I know.
395
00:18:13,459 --> 00:18:14,289
I love that spiel.
396
00:18:14,393 --> 00:18:15,883
[Bug] Write your own fucking speeches,
okay?
397
00:18:15,962 --> 00:18:16,894
It‘s fine. Okay.
398
00:18:16,963 --> 00:18:19,830
[Bug] Now, what do you say, guys?
Another scraps night?
399
00:18:19,932 --> 00:18:20,956
[Hunter, Maggie] Yes!
400
00:18:21,067 --> 00:18:23,433
All right, meet at the pizza place
at sundown,
401
00:18:23,502 --> 00:18:26,232
and we gonna fuck shit up.
402
00:18:26,505 --> 00:18:27,665
J‘ Getwrld.)
403
00:18:27,773 --> 00:18:30,003
[“Get Wild“ playing]
404
00:18:32,678 --> 00:18:34,475
So what is scraps night?
405
00:18:34,580 --> 00:18:36,639
It's that one magnificent night
of the week
406
00:18:36,749 --> 00:18:39,081
where humans are a lot more willing
to give us food
407
00:18:39,151 --> 00:18:40,846
or drop it accidentally or both.
408
00:18:40,953 --> 00:18:43,854
That stuff that they're dropping is gold.
409
00:18:43,956 --> 00:18:45,685
I just feel like
we're gonna get in trouble.
410
00:18:45,791 --> 00:18:48,783
No, we're cleaning up.
These fuckers love it when we clean up.
411
00:18:48,861 --> 00:18:49,850
[Bug] Wait for it.
412
00:18:51,664 --> 00:18:52,790
Wait for it.
413
00:18:52,865 --> 00:18:54,423
[Maggie] Drop the fucking pizza, bitch.
414
00:18:54,500 --> 00:18:56,024
-Go!
-[Bug] That's the one. Let's do this!
415
00:18:56,135 --> 00:18:57,102
[Reggie yelps]
416
00:18:57,169 --> 00:18:59,034
r r-r-r-r'm with all my dogs r
417
00:18:59,138 --> 00:19:00,935
t F/nna fuck the city up it
418
00:19:01,007 --> 00:19:04,033
J‘ Keep a pocket full
Got these bitches wanna hit me up it
419
00:19:04,143 --> 00:19:05,132
t Dn'nk/hg by the pool P
420
00:19:05,211 --> 00:19:06,838
t Doing drugs, is you lit or what?!1
421
00:19:06,946 --> 00:19:08,038
it Making hel/a noise... it
422
00:19:08,714 --> 00:19:10,477
This water is making me dizzy.
423
00:19:10,549 --> 00:19:13,347
It's about to get real dizzy
up in this bitch.
424
00:19:13,452 --> 00:19:16,114
-I don‘t mind feeling dizzy. I like it.
-[Maggie] Pace yourself, Reg.
425
00:19:16,188 --> 00:19:18,281
["Get Wild" continues playing]
426
00:19:26,832 --> 00:19:29,062
[Bug] Chester, for the last time,
427
00:19:29,168 --> 00:19:30,567
there's no fucking fence there.
428
00:19:30,670 --> 00:19:32,831
-Just come out with us!
-I can't.
429
00:19:32,905 --> 00:19:35,567
I'm telling you,
there is a magical fence there.
430
00:19:35,675 --> 00:19:37,074
You just can't see it!
431
00:19:37,176 --> 00:19:38,666
-Come on, Chester!
-Come on!
432
00:19:38,744 --> 00:19:40,712
[all chanting] Chester! Chester!
433
00:19:40,813 --> 00:19:44,340
Honestly, that is persuasive,
and I don't know why.
434
00:19:44,417 --> 00:19:45,679
[chanting continues]
435
00:19:45,751 --> 00:19:47,878
I can't believe I'm doing this.
436
00:19:47,987 --> 00:19:49,386
Stop being a pussy and do this!
437
00:19:49,488 --> 00:19:50,477
Okay!
438
00:19:50,556 --> 00:19:52,387
Whoo! Run!
439
00:19:52,491 --> 00:19:54,550
-[all] Chester! Chester!
-[Maggie] You can do it!
440
00:19:54,660 --> 00:19:56,753
You got it, Chester. You got it!
441
00:19:56,862 --> 00:19:58,227
[electrical crackling]
-[screams]
442
00:19:58,330 --> 00:19:59,592
-[Reggie gasps]
-[Maggie] Whoo!
443
00:19:59,699 --> 00:20:01,030
Goddamn!
444
00:20:01,100 --> 00:20:03,728
It‘s real! The magic fence is real!
445
00:20:03,836 --> 00:20:06,669
A Big dog status big dog baggage t
446
00:20:06,739 --> 00:20:09,572
J‘ Big dog, fuck it
I got big dog habits P
447
00:20:09,675 --> 00:20:12,508
J‘ See, I’m going hard in the paint
Doing damage P
448
00:20:12,578 --> 00:20:15,945
it Big dog tell me do it
Look like I’m average... J“
449
00:20:16,849 --> 00:20:18,714
Oh, yeah. You gonna get it.
450
00:20:18,784 --> 00:20:20,513
Somebody been naughty. You a naughty--
451
00:20:20,586 --> 00:20:22,781
You a little naughty owl. [hooting]
452
00:20:22,888 --> 00:20:25,755
You're right, Bug. I like this humping.
453
00:20:26,559 --> 00:20:28,083
Bug, can I try your owl?
454
00:20:28,194 --> 00:20:30,685
I told you scraps night
was gonna be off the chain, baby.
455
00:20:30,763 --> 00:20:31,923
[Reggie] I'm having a great time.
456
00:20:32,031 --> 00:20:33,055
Ain't this about a bitch.
457
00:20:33,132 --> 00:20:34,724
Look at this motherfucker right here.
458
00:20:34,800 --> 00:20:36,290
What you want, huh, homie?
459
00:20:36,402 --> 00:20:38,768
-l'll rip your motherfucking nuts off.
-Come on, let's go.
460
00:20:38,871 --> 00:20:40,964
-Pointy-eared motherfucker.
-Come on, it's not worth it.
461
00:20:41,073 --> 00:20:42,734
-[Hunter] There you go, Reg.
-I'm doing good?
462
00:20:42,808 --> 00:20:44,742
Give it to that gnome, Reg.
463
00:20:44,810 --> 00:20:46,641
Tell that gnome you're his daddy.
464
00:20:46,746 --> 00:20:48,737
Hey, gnome. I‘m yourfather.
465
00:20:48,814 --> 00:20:50,475
-It's good to finally meet you.
-[Maggie] Reggie.
466
00:20:50,583 --> 00:20:52,050
Even under
these strange circumstances.
467
00:20:52,118 --> 00:20:53,244
[Hunter] No, Reggie.
468
00:20:53,319 --> 00:20:54,411
Oh, you can't get me!
469
00:20:54,487 --> 00:20:57,115
Aha, ah-- I'm too fast for you.
I'm too fast for you.
470
00:20:57,223 --> 00:20:59,487
-This motherfucker is keeping up.
-Come on, let's go.
471
00:20:59,592 --> 00:21:01,617
With your little bitch-ass friend
with a home perm and shit.
472
00:21:01,727 --> 00:21:03,058
-What did you say?
-There you go, Reg.
473
00:21:03,129 --> 00:21:05,154
-Don‘t you look at me like that.
-Get up in his ass.
474
00:21:05,264 --> 00:21:07,061
I would hate for this to get violent.
475
00:21:07,133 --> 00:21:08,293
I didn't know I had a son.
476
00:21:08,400 --> 00:21:10,300
-And he's a gnome of all things.
-[Maggie] Reggie!
477
00:21:10,402 --> 00:21:12,063
-Fuck, shut up!
-Anyone want to hump my son?
478
00:21:12,138 --> 00:21:13,230
Man, come on. It's too much.
479
00:21:13,305 --> 00:21:14,670
He's handsomely dressed
in a smart tunic.
480
00:21:14,774 --> 00:21:17,334
Yo, Chester. You got balls, baby.
481
00:21:17,443 --> 00:21:18,967
That magic fence was legit.
482
00:21:19,078 --> 00:21:20,602
I kept telling you!
483
00:21:20,679 --> 00:21:23,239
What a weird thing a magic fence would be
to make up.
484
00:21:23,315 --> 00:21:24,805
I can do anything.
485
00:21:24,917 --> 00:21:27,147
[Maggie] Reggie, don't.
-[Hunter] Wait, what's going on?
486
00:21:27,253 --> 00:21:28,743
-No. Don't do it!
-[Hunter] Reggie, no.
487
00:21:28,821 --> 00:21:30,812
I can do anything.
488
00:21:30,923 --> 00:21:33,653
Do not test the dark arts, kid.
489
00:21:33,759 --> 00:21:36,751
["Get Wild" continues playing]
490
00:21:44,537 --> 00:21:45,799
J‘ Get Wild it
491
00:21:45,871 --> 00:21:47,930
-Oh, shoot!
-That was fucking amazing!
492
00:21:48,007 --> 00:21:49,372
-Incredible!
-Holy shit!
493
00:21:49,475 --> 00:21:51,500
-Yeah!
-Impossible. That's impossible!
494
00:21:51,610 --> 00:21:53,271
-[Hunter] Reggie! [laughs]
-I did it! I did it!
495
00:21:53,546 --> 00:21:56,276
-[Iaughter]
-[Hunter] Oh, what a night.
496
00:21:56,348 --> 00:21:57,337
[Bug] Yeah.
497
00:21:57,449 --> 00:22:02,148
Reg, I could tell the moment
I sniffed your anus, you're a great guy.
498
00:22:02,221 --> 00:22:04,849
-You‘re a legend.
-Yeah, baby, I told you.
499
00:22:04,957 --> 00:22:06,857
Stray's life is the best life!
500
00:22:06,959 --> 00:22:10,190
Yeah, you gotta admit,
it's fun to be off-leash for a bit, right?
501
00:22:10,296 --> 00:22:12,127
-[Maggie] Right?
-Yeah, it is kinda awesome
502
00:22:12,198 --> 00:22:15,497
not having to hold my pee for ten hours
until Doug lets me outside.
503
00:22:15,568 --> 00:22:16,967
[laughter]
504
00:22:17,036 --> 00:22:19,470
And I like the sound of “legend"
a lot more than “Shitbag.“
505
00:22:19,538 --> 00:22:21,005
[Hunter] Guys, I'm still peeing.
506
00:22:21,073 --> 00:22:23,234
Wait, is that really
what he called you?
507
00:22:23,342 --> 00:22:26,709
I really don't miss roasting in the car
when he stops at a store,
508
00:22:26,812 --> 00:22:30,407
and he leaves me with the windows cracked
barely enough for me to stay conscious.
509
00:22:30,516 --> 00:22:33,383
-[Maggie] Wait, what?
-And I'm just panting, gasping for air
510
00:22:33,485 --> 00:22:37,512
and trying to survive
until he comes back in 45 minutes.
511
00:22:38,224 --> 00:22:40,192
Classic Doug. Too funny.
512
00:22:40,259 --> 00:22:41,749
[chuckles, sighs]
513
00:22:41,861 --> 00:22:45,820
So, this guy neglects you,
throws you on the street,
514
00:22:45,898 --> 00:22:48,059
and you still think he's a good guy?
515
00:22:48,167 --> 00:22:50,533
Yeah. I mean,
if Doug doesn't like me,
516
00:22:50,603 --> 00:22:52,935
why does he let me eat
his leftover human food?
517
00:22:53,038 --> 00:22:55,233
So he doesn't have to buy dog food.
518
00:22:55,341 --> 00:22:57,332
And why didn't he put
a collar and tags on you?
519
00:22:57,409 --> 00:23:00,173
Because he doesn't believe in labels.
520
00:23:00,246 --> 00:23:01,270
Ah, come on, Reg.
521
00:23:01,380 --> 00:23:04,440
And the bandana he gave me
is way more special than a collar,
522
00:23:04,550 --> 00:23:07,178
'cause he used it for his penis sneezes.
523
00:23:07,253 --> 00:23:08,220
fi‘ ' L“;—
524
00:23:08,287 --> 00:23:09,618
Doug loves me.
525
00:23:09,722 --> 00:23:11,451
We have a good relationship.
526
00:23:11,557 --> 00:23:13,548
You just don't understand the situation,
527
00:23:13,626 --> 00:23:16,060
because if Doug's such a bad guy,
528
00:23:16,128 --> 00:23:20,724
and he left me on purpose,
and he hurt me on purpose,
529
00:23:21,467 --> 00:23:22,456
that would mean...
530
00:23:23,402 --> 00:23:24,391
that would mean...
531
00:23:25,537 --> 00:23:26,765
Doug doesn't love me.
532
00:23:31,810 --> 00:23:34,301
Can you guys
just give me a second?
533
00:23:41,654 --> 00:23:43,246
[sighs] Poor little guy.
534
00:23:43,322 --> 00:23:45,882
That is just the classic
toxic relationship.
535
00:23:45,958 --> 00:23:48,392
I should probably talk to him.
I am a therapy dog.
536
00:23:48,460 --> 00:23:50,121
Nah, give him some space.
537
00:23:50,229 --> 00:23:51,457
Kid's been through a lot.
538
00:23:53,265 --> 00:23:55,995
[Doug echoing] Thats what
you fucking sound like, you piece of shit.
539
00:23:56,101 --> 00:23:58,262
-[imitates barking]
-[barking]
540
00:23:59,104 --> 00:24:00,731
Oh, get off! Get-- Bad dog!
541
00:24:00,806 --> 00:24:02,637
Bad dog! Bad dog!
542
00:24:02,741 --> 00:24:05,266
Worst dog in the fucking world.
543
00:24:14,320 --> 00:24:15,617
Hey, Reggie.
544
00:24:15,688 --> 00:24:17,986
I know you‘re feeling hurt right now,
and it's--
545
00:24:18,090 --> 00:24:20,524
Ugh. It must be so hard
to figure out what to do.
546
00:24:20,626 --> 00:24:21,752
I'm going back to Doug's.
547
00:24:21,827 --> 00:24:23,294
-What?
-The fuck, man?
548
00:24:23,362 --> 00:24:27,196
What's it gonna take for you to understand
that he's not playing a game with you?
549
00:24:27,299 --> 00:24:29,699
And I'm not playing a game with him.
550
00:24:29,802 --> 00:24:31,429
Okay.
551
00:24:31,503 --> 00:24:34,666
All my life,
I felt like I wasn't worth anything
552
00:24:34,773 --> 00:24:38,368
unless I heard those words,
”Good boy."
553
00:24:38,477 --> 00:24:40,138
But they never came.
554
00:24:40,713 --> 00:24:43,273
Well, he needs to know he's hurt me.
555
00:24:43,349 --> 00:24:44,782
He needs to feel my pain.
556
00:24:45,351 --> 00:24:48,980
And he needs to pay for what he did
with the only thing he truly loves!
557
00:24:49,989 --> 00:24:52,287
I'm gonna bite his dick off.
558
00:24:52,358 --> 00:24:54,121
-Oh.
-Wait, did he just say bite?
559
00:24:54,193 --> 00:24:56,889
Yeah, I'm still a little drunk,
but did I just hear you say that you--
560
00:24:56,996 --> 00:25:00,898
I said I'm gonna bite his dick off!
561
00:25:01,700 --> 00:25:03,361
Oh, I'm a hundred percent in for this.
562
00:25:03,469 --> 00:25:04,902
-[Hunter] No, no.
-[Maggie] Bug. Wait.
563
00:25:05,004 --> 00:25:05,993
Wait, Reggie, please.
564
00:25:06,071 --> 00:25:08,699
lfeel you, I really do,
but this is insane.
565
00:25:08,807 --> 00:25:11,742
Yeah, like, maybe there's
a metaphorical dick you could bite off,
566
00:25:11,844 --> 00:25:15,245
like you could pretend my dick is his dick
and you could give it a stern talking to.
567
00:25:15,347 --> 00:25:17,872
No, his dick. No exceptions.
568
00:25:17,983 --> 00:25:19,917
Playing with that thing
was his favorite activity
569
00:25:20,019 --> 00:25:21,748
until he started putting things in boxes.
570
00:25:21,854 --> 00:25:23,822
-[Maggie] Boxes?
-Oh, shit, that means he's moving soon.
571
00:25:23,889 --> 00:25:25,049
-Moving?
-[Hunter] Oh, man.
572
00:25:25,157 --> 00:25:26,556
-What if we're too late?
-Calm down.
573
00:25:26,658 --> 00:25:27,989
We definitely
don't have much time.
574
00:25:28,060 --> 00:25:31,359
Any places, smells, landmarks
you remember on the road to get here?
575
00:25:31,430 --> 00:25:35,560
Uh... I just-- I remember passing
an enormous hamster wheel.
576
00:25:35,667 --> 00:25:36,998
Okay, hamster wheel.
577
00:25:37,069 --> 00:25:39,094
A giant cone that looked like Hunter's.
578
00:25:39,204 --> 00:25:40,569
[Bug] Giant cone,
looked like Hunter's.
579
00:25:40,672 --> 00:25:42,606
And-- And the devil in the sky.
580
00:25:42,708 --> 00:25:44,073
And the devil in the sky. Boom!
581
00:25:44,176 --> 00:25:47,737
That's basically a road map
right to this guy's custard launcher.
582
00:25:47,846 --> 00:25:49,609
Bug, there's no way. It's impossible.
583
00:25:49,715 --> 00:25:50,875
No, no, no, not quite.
584
00:25:50,949 --> 00:25:53,884
Reggie's got no shot
at making it back in time on his own.
585
00:25:53,952 --> 00:25:57,911
But if we all go, I got the street smarts,
you've got the muscle,
586
00:25:58,023 --> 00:26:01,686
and Maggie's got a sense of smell so good
she can sniff one asshole
587
00:26:01,760 --> 00:26:04,388
and tell you what the guy ate
three breakfasts ago.
588
00:26:04,463 --> 00:26:06,021
-[sniffs] Bunch of nickels.
-Exactly.
589
00:26:06,098 --> 00:26:09,033
-She‘s incredible.
-Guys, we can do this.
590
00:26:09,101 --> 00:26:10,898
-No, there is no way...
-I'm in.
591
00:26:10,969 --> 00:26:13,460
...I am missing this. Let's do it!
592
00:26:13,572 --> 00:26:14,732
Really?
593
00:26:14,807 --> 00:26:16,866
-You guys would do this for me?
-Hell yeah.
594
00:26:16,942 --> 00:26:18,409
-We got your back, Reg.
-[Maggie] Yeah!
595
00:26:18,477 --> 00:26:21,742
All right, guys. Let's show these humans
they can't toss us aside
596
00:26:21,814 --> 00:26:25,147
without facing
some bad fucking consequences.
597
00:26:25,250 --> 00:26:27,775
Fellas, lady,
598
00:26:27,886 --> 00:26:29,285
let's go get some dick!
599
00:26:29,388 --> 00:26:31,322
[howling]
600
00:26:31,423 --> 00:26:33,084
Howling!
601
00:26:33,158 --> 00:26:34,386
Howl!
602
00:26:34,460 --> 00:26:35,927
-Howling!
-[others howling]
603
00:26:36,495 --> 00:26:38,895
[clears throat]
I'm just not a great howler.
604
00:26:39,798 --> 00:26:41,823
[“Check Yo Self" playing]
605
00:26:41,934 --> 00:26:44,164
J‘ Yeah, word is bondl’
606
00:26:44,269 --> 00:26:46,396
it Das EFX in this
You know what I’m sayin’?J1
607
00:26:46,472 --> 00:26:49,134
A Straight from the sewer
Word is bono’, yeah A
608
00:26:49,241 --> 00:26:51,175
A Check yo’se/t
before you wreck yo'selt A
609
00:26:51,276 --> 00:26:53,744
A ’Cause for bad for your health
/ come real stealth A
610
00:26:53,812 --> 00:26:55,973
A Dropping bombs on your moms
Fuck car alarms A
611
00:26:56,081 --> 00:26:58,413
A Doing foul crime
I’m that blotha wit’ yo’A/pine A
612
00:26:58,484 --> 00:27:00,975
A Sold it for a six-o
Always let tricks know A
613
00:27:01,086 --> 00:27:03,179
A And Intends know we got the indo A
614
00:27:03,288 --> 00:27:06,189
A No, I'm not a sucker
Sitting in a House of Pain A
615
00:27:06,291 --> 00:27:08,259
A And no, im not the butter
ll/ cut ya A
616
00:27:08,327 --> 00:27:10,488
A This ain’t no fuck/17g motion picture A
617
00:27:10,596 --> 00:27:13,463
A A guy or bitch-a
ll/ get wrt’ cha and hit ya A
618
00:27:13,532 --> 00:27:16,968
A Taking that yak to the neck
So you better run a check A
619
00:27:17,035 --> 00:27:18,627
A So come on
and chickity-check yo’self A
620
00:27:18,704 --> 00:27:21,298
A Before you wreck yo’self
Chick/bl-check yo’ self A
621
00:27:21,373 --> 00:27:22,840
A Before you wreck yo’se/f, boyA
622
00:27:22,941 --> 00:27:24,841
A Check yo’se/t
before you wreck yo'selt A
623
00:27:24,943 --> 00:27:27,207
A ’Cause shotgun bullets
Are bad for your health. .. A
624
00:27:27,312 --> 00:27:28,779
-[howling]
-[Hunter] Howling!
625
00:27:28,847 --> 00:27:30,644
Howling!
626
00:27:30,716 --> 00:27:31,705
A Check itA
627
00:27:31,817 --> 00:27:34,183
[retching, groaning]
628
00:27:34,286 --> 00:27:37,653
Why did nobody tell us that dog journeys
are so fucking exhausting?
629
00:27:37,723 --> 00:27:39,486
-Yeah.
-Oh, this is brutal.
630
00:27:39,558 --> 00:27:41,492
[Hunter] I was still drunk
when I agreed to do this.
631
00:27:41,560 --> 00:27:42,549
[Maggie] Yeah, I'm hangry.
632
00:27:42,661 --> 00:27:43,719
[Hunter] Yeah, I'm starving.
633
00:27:43,829 --> 00:27:46,320
I just threw up over there,
so there might be something in there
634
00:27:46,398 --> 00:27:48,491
if you wanna give it a-- Okay.
635
00:27:48,567 --> 00:27:50,501
I bet that's some of the pizza
from last night.
636
00:27:50,569 --> 00:27:52,230
[Bug] Oh, yeah,
lots of good shit in there.
637
00:27:52,337 --> 00:27:53,702
Oh, there's those nickels. [chuckles]
638
00:27:53,805 --> 00:27:56,501
Guys, we gotta keep moving.
You can't miss this thing.
639
00:27:56,575 --> 00:27:59,339
It's like a giant hamster wheel,
but without the hamster.
640
00:27:59,411 --> 00:28:00,878
And it smells like hot dogs.
641
00:28:00,979 --> 00:28:02,742
Smells like hot dogs? [sniffing]
642
00:28:02,848 --> 00:28:04,247
This is her superpower.
643
00:28:04,349 --> 00:28:06,214
She's unbelievable. Look at that nose.
644
00:28:06,318 --> 00:28:08,377
-[Reggie] You got something?
-Wait a minute.
645
00:28:08,487 --> 00:28:09,920
Wait, d-do you smell that?
646
00:28:10,022 --> 00:28:12,081
-I just smell plastic.
-[sniffing] Oh, yeah.
647
00:28:12,191 --> 00:28:14,182
Oh. Yeah, I've got it. [sniffing]
648
00:28:14,259 --> 00:28:16,193
[Reggie] She's walking away.
Should we follow her?
649
00:28:17,062 --> 00:28:18,188
I'm gonna follow her.
650
00:28:19,731 --> 00:28:20,561
[Bug] No, no, no, no, no.
651
00:28:20,666 --> 00:28:23,100
A sausage is the one that looks like shit,
but it don't taste like shit.
652
00:28:23,202 --> 00:28:24,726
[Reggie] Okay, but then what is a hot dog?
653
00:28:24,836 --> 00:28:25,825
Guys. Shh. Drop it.
654
00:28:25,904 --> 00:28:28,702
-Look. What the fuck is this?
-That's it, the giant hamster wheel!
655
00:28:28,774 --> 00:28:30,674
-We're on the right track!
-[Bug] All right, guys.
656
00:28:30,742 --> 00:28:32,209
We're on a time crunch,
657
00:28:32,277 --> 00:28:34,905
but Hunter's gonna die
if we don't get some food in him, okay?
658
00:28:35,013 --> 00:28:36,503
-Maggie, you hang with Hunter.
-Gotcha.
659
00:28:36,582 --> 00:28:38,345
-[Hunter] Good plan.
-Reg, you know what time it is?
660
00:28:38,417 --> 00:28:40,248
-It's grub time.
-It's gr-- Yeah, grub time.
661
00:28:40,352 --> 00:28:41,717
-Let's get some grub.
-Let's get some grub.
662
00:28:43,689 --> 00:28:45,884
-[Maggie] This fucking place is weird.
-[Hunter] So weird.
663
00:28:45,958 --> 00:28:47,687
[Bug] I never really
can understand humans, man.
664
00:28:47,759 --> 00:28:51,058
Especially, like, the lighter shade ones.
They some strange motherfuckers.
665
00:28:51,129 --> 00:28:52,619
[Reggie] I was thinking the same thing.
666
00:28:53,198 --> 00:28:55,359
-[barks]
-Hey.
667
00:28:57,402 --> 00:29:00,098
Um... [chuckles]
Your dog messed up my shot.
668
00:29:00,205 --> 00:29:01,035
[dog barks]
669
00:29:01,106 --> 00:29:03,973
I think he's telling me
I should pay for you to take another one.
670
00:29:04,810 --> 00:29:05,799
Oh, is that right?
671
00:29:05,911 --> 00:29:08,209
Yeah, that's what he was saying.
I promise.
672
00:29:08,280 --> 00:29:09,304
[laughs]
673
00:29:09,414 --> 00:29:12,645
I wouldn't-- I wouldn't make it up,
but he's got good ideas.
674
00:29:12,751 --> 00:29:15,618
[Labrador] / could tell James
felt different about this human gin’.
675
00:29:16,255 --> 00:29:18,985
Maybe it was because
she smelled like biscuits.
676
00:29:19,091 --> 00:29:21,491
Or maybe it was because
something about her was special
677
00:29:21,593 --> 00:29:24,721
Excuse me, do you know where
we can get some food around here?
678
00:29:26,932 --> 00:29:30,800
[Labrador] As / was saying,
James thought he was helping this girl.
679
00:29:30,902 --> 00:29:33,928
But the truth is, she was helping him.
680
00:29:34,006 --> 00:29:35,439
Oh, fuck this bullshit.
681
00:29:35,507 --> 00:29:36,599
Wait, what is he doing?
682
00:29:36,675 --> 00:29:39,337
I've seen this shit before.
He's one of those narrator dogs.
683
00:29:39,444 --> 00:29:43,676
Hey! No one’s listening to your lame
human story, you fucking dumbass!
684
00:29:47,286 --> 00:29:49,516
[Labrador]
Sadly, the little dog was right.
685
00:29:49,621 --> 00:29:52,351
No one was listening to my story.
686
00:29:52,457 --> 00:29:55,255
Which is too bad,
because l’m the only one who knows
687
00:29:55,327 --> 00:29:58,023
James is a cold-blooded serial killer.
688
00:29:58,130 --> 00:30:01,759
He’s got three bodies buried
in the backyard already.
689
00:30:01,833 --> 00:30:04,131
But I guess no one’s interested.
690
00:30:04,202 --> 00:30:05,464
I can't believe that dog.
691
00:30:05,537 --> 00:30:08,131
He was so obsessed with his owner,
he didn't even acknowledge us.
692
00:30:08,206 --> 00:30:10,333
I'm gonna tell ya, kid,
the moment they leash you up,
693
00:30:10,442 --> 00:30:12,876
snip your balls,
is the moment they got you by them.
694
00:30:12,978 --> 00:30:16,004
-Hold on. They snip your balls?
-Oh, yeah.
695
00:30:16,114 --> 00:30:19,106
And I think they're collecting those too,
to put in the chocolate.
696
00:30:19,184 --> 00:30:21,209
-[vendor] Get your hot dogs here!
-Oh, shit! Look!
697
00:30:21,320 --> 00:30:22,309
[vendor] I got jumbo dogs!
698
00:30:22,387 --> 00:30:24,218
Okay, here's the plan.
You grab the sausages,
699
00:30:24,323 --> 00:30:26,848
and I'll go over there
and fuck the guy's leg as a distraction.
700
00:30:26,958 --> 00:30:28,152
And break!
701
00:30:28,694 --> 00:30:32,152
I don't think fucking the guy's leg
is necessary,
702
00:30:32,230 --> 00:30:34,323
but I see you've already started.
All right.
703
00:30:34,399 --> 00:30:35,991
-[be|l dinging]
-Ooh, gimme, gimme, gimme.
704
00:30:36,068 --> 00:30:38,332
-Bunnyl [squealing]
-[friend] You won! [laughs]
705
00:30:38,403 --> 00:30:40,030
I can't believe I won!
706
00:30:40,138 --> 00:30:41,833
[Maggie] Oh, look at that toy bunny.
707
00:30:41,907 --> 00:30:45,638
You know, it hasn't even been a day yet,
but I really miss toys.
708
00:30:45,711 --> 00:30:47,042
Jenna had some good ones.
709
00:30:47,145 --> 00:30:50,911
I'd rip that shit apart until I found
that squeaky toy in the middle.
710
00:30:51,016 --> 00:30:52,847
[Hunter] Ugh.
I miss squeaky toys too.
711
00:30:52,918 --> 00:30:55,079
But of course, I only got to play
with those squeak toys
712
00:30:55,187 --> 00:30:56,176
if I was a good girl,
713
00:30:56,254 --> 00:30:59,223
and I smiled the right way
for her stupid freaking selfies.
714
00:30:59,324 --> 00:31:02,088
The amount of work
that goes into looking cute.
715
00:31:02,194 --> 00:31:04,856
Honestly, I had to go to spin around
in a perfect circle like this,
716
00:31:04,930 --> 00:31:07,728
move into a “I'm so fuckable“ pose
with my paws crossed.
717
00:31:07,833 --> 00:31:09,892
And I'd have to stand up straight,
paws up.
718
00:31:10,001 --> 00:31:11,866
l have to show all my tits.
719
00:31:11,937 --> 00:31:14,337
Yeah. [chuckles] Right, that--
yeah, that's pretty fuckable.
720
00:31:14,406 --> 00:31:17,000
I mean, uh, that-that-
that's-- that's weird.
721
00:31:17,075 --> 00:31:18,770
Wait, uh, there they are.
722
00:31:19,511 --> 00:31:22,002
[clears throat] You know, Maggie,
there's, um...
723
00:31:22,080 --> 00:31:25,379
There's so much more
to like about you than just your looks.
724
00:31:25,450 --> 00:31:26,712
You think so?
725
00:31:26,785 --> 00:31:30,778
Sure. I mean, you are hands down
the best sniffer I've ever met.
726
00:31:30,889 --> 00:31:31,878
Huh.
727
00:31:31,957 --> 00:31:33,925
But you're also smart,
and you can jump high,
728
00:31:34,025 --> 00:31:36,118
and you know like nine human words.
729
00:31:36,228 --> 00:31:37,217
That's insane.
730
00:31:37,295 --> 00:31:39,786
I actually know 31.
But thank you.
731
00:31:39,898 --> 00:31:42,059
Honestly, I'd have to list
about 20 more things
732
00:31:42,134 --> 00:31:45,126
before I even got to anything to do
with how beautiful you are.
733
00:31:47,372 --> 00:31:50,637
Um... I'm sorry,
that was too much.
734
00:31:50,742 --> 00:31:53,438
No, that~ that means a lot to me.
735
00:31:54,045 --> 00:31:56,570
You know,
you're a really good listener.
736
00:31:56,648 --> 00:32:00,209
Oh, that's because all the sound funnels
through the cone right to my ears.
737
00:32:00,285 --> 00:32:02,310
[chuckles] No, I didn't-- Never mind.
738
00:32:02,421 --> 00:32:03,445
Wait, wait, what?
739
00:32:03,555 --> 00:32:05,250
Have you ever thought about--
740
00:32:05,323 --> 00:32:07,723
about taking the cone off
for a little while?
741
00:32:07,793 --> 00:32:09,590
Just to-- Just to see?
742
00:32:09,661 --> 00:32:12,323
-No.
-I bet you'd look really handsome.
743
00:32:12,431 --> 00:32:13,420
[chuckles]
744
00:32:13,498 --> 00:32:14,795
Really?
745
00:32:15,600 --> 00:32:16,589
Yeah.
746
00:32:16,668 --> 00:32:17,657
[Bug, Reggie laughing]
747
00:32:17,769 --> 00:32:20,169
-[Bug] That's how you do it, Reg, baby.
-[Reggie] That was awesome!
748
00:32:20,272 --> 00:32:22,263
Oh, wait a minute, okay.
What's this vibe?
749
00:32:22,340 --> 00:32:24,274
-[stammering] No.
-What? Oh, nothing. Nothing.
750
00:32:24,342 --> 00:32:25,809
-What vibe? There is no vibe.
-What vibe?
751
00:32:25,911 --> 00:32:28,402
Your boner implies that there's a vibe.
752
00:32:28,480 --> 00:32:31,472
Oh, you know,
that's because ourfriendship...
753
00:32:31,583 --> 00:32:32,982
[chuckles] ...got me erect.
754
00:32:33,084 --> 00:32:34,676
Yeah, it was a friend boner.
755
00:32:34,786 --> 00:32:36,651
Then why don't you get boners for us?
756
00:32:36,755 --> 00:32:39,087
I mean, uh...
[chuckles] ...are we not yourfriends?
757
00:32:39,157 --> 00:32:41,751
What? No, no.
You guys get me hard all the time.
758
00:32:42,594 --> 00:32:45,256
Hunter, that's about the sweetest thing
I've ever heard.
759
00:32:45,330 --> 00:32:47,821
Speaking of boners,
how about some sausages?
760
00:32:47,933 --> 00:32:49,025
We took 'em from a human.
761
00:32:49,634 --> 00:32:52,000
You stole these from a human?
What if someone saw?
762
00:32:52,103 --> 00:32:54,435
Relax. Grow back some testicles.
763
00:32:54,506 --> 00:32:56,133
-Ain‘t nobody saw.
-[fireworks exploding]
764
00:32:56,208 --> 00:32:58,199
[Hunter, Maggie gasping, yelping]
765
00:32:58,310 --> 00:32:59,641
God saw!
766
00:32:59,711 --> 00:33:01,508
God sees everything!
767
00:33:01,613 --> 00:33:03,376
-Run!
. M '
[ aggre screams]
768
00:33:03,482 --> 00:33:05,541
-[Hunter] We're under attack!
-[Maggie] Save yourselves!
769
00:33:05,650 --> 00:33:06,708
[Hunter] We gotta find cover!
770
00:33:06,818 --> 00:33:09,184
[BUG]
The whole fucking place is gonna blow!
771
00:33:09,287 --> 00:33:11,983
-Move! Move!
-[Hunter] Oh, God!
772
00:33:12,057 --> 00:33:13,991
[Reggie] We're all gonna die!
-[bell clangs]
773
00:33:14,059 --> 00:33:15,686
Mama!
774
00:33:15,794 --> 00:33:17,659
-[fireworks popping quietly]
-Wow.
775
00:33:17,729 --> 00:33:19,162
[carnival music playing]
776
00:33:19,231 --> 00:33:20,698
-[fireworks exploding]
-[Maggie] Stay low!
777
00:33:20,799 --> 00:33:23,563
-[Reggie] They've got us surrounded!
-[Bug] Go, go, go!
778
00:33:23,668 --> 00:33:26,034
-[Bug] They're coming after us!
-[Maggie] This way, hurry!
779
00:33:26,137 --> 00:33:27,832
[Hunter] It's so loud inside the cone!
780
00:33:30,408 --> 00:33:31,705
-[Bug] Oh, shit!
-[Reggie] No!
781
00:33:31,810 --> 00:33:33,334
-Oh, no, no!
-[Bug] We gotta get over.
782
00:33:33,411 --> 00:33:35,242
[Reggie] Over here. We gotta dig!
783
00:33:35,347 --> 00:33:36,871
-We gotta dig!
-[Bug] Dig! Dig faster!
784
00:33:36,982 --> 00:33:38,540
[Reggie] Hunter! Maggie! Help us dig!
785
00:33:38,650 --> 00:33:40,880
-[Maggie] What? What's going on?
-[Hunter] Come on, Maggie! Dig!
786
00:33:40,986 --> 00:33:42,317
You said you love digging!
787
00:33:42,387 --> 00:33:44,912
[Maggie] I lied! I hate digging!
788
00:33:45,023 --> 00:33:46,388
There we go. Okay, let's go!
789
00:33:46,491 --> 00:33:49,085
-I hate how the dirt feels under my nails!
-[Bug] Come on, let's go!
790
00:33:49,194 --> 00:33:52,186
Wait, wait! Guys! I'm stuck!
My bandana's stuck!
791
00:33:53,064 --> 00:33:54,053
Ah!
792
00:33:54,866 --> 00:33:56,424
-Oh, no!
-Reggie!
793
00:33:56,535 --> 00:33:58,503
-[Maggie] Reggie, no!
-Reggie! Come on, buddy!
794
00:33:58,570 --> 00:33:59,662
Maggie, Hunter, help me out.
795
00:33:59,738 --> 00:34:01,205
No, no, no. Get out of here.
796
00:34:01,273 --> 00:34:02,399
I-It's too late for me.
797
00:34:02,507 --> 00:34:04,099
Listen to me! It's not too late.
798
00:34:04,209 --> 00:34:05,904
No. Save yourself.
799
00:34:06,011 --> 00:34:08,673
And tell Doug
I wanted to bite his dick off.
800
00:34:09,447 --> 00:34:11,506
Bite it for me, if you can.
801
00:34:11,583 --> 00:34:13,608
Look at me. You're gonna live.
802
00:34:13,718 --> 00:34:16,881
And you're gonna bite that dick yourself.
803
00:34:18,089 --> 00:34:19,556
Hunter, the fence!
804
00:34:19,624 --> 00:34:21,091
[grunting growling]
805
00:34:21,192 --> 00:34:22,454
Here, check this out.
806
00:34:22,561 --> 00:34:24,620
[Bug grunting] Come on!
807
00:34:24,729 --> 00:34:26,856
Holy shit, they have a bomb!
808
00:34:28,033 --> 00:34:30,900
-Come on, Reggie!
-Come on! Come on, Reg!
809
00:34:32,737 --> 00:34:34,102
[grunting]
810
00:34:34,205 --> 00:34:36,901
-[Reggie] Almost free! I'm almost free!
-[Hunter] Come on, Reggie!
811
00:34:36,975 --> 00:34:38,374
[Reggie] Ah!
[Bug] Come on, let's go!
812
00:34:39,878 --> 00:34:41,869
[Bug] Move, move!
[Maggie] Come on, guys, let's go!
813
00:34:44,616 --> 00:34:45,605
[sighs]
814
00:34:46,751 --> 00:34:48,309
Oh, well. Uh...
815
00:34:49,454 --> 00:34:50,580
You guys wanna kiss a little?
816
00:34:50,889 --> 00:34:51,878
[all panting]
817
00:34:51,957 --> 00:34:53,948
Oh, my God! Holy shit!
818
00:34:54,059 --> 00:34:55,720
Guys, that was crazy!
819
00:34:55,794 --> 00:34:57,762
lfeel like now I need
an emotional support dog.
820
00:34:57,829 --> 00:35:00,798
Bug... [laughs] ...you looked like
you were gonna shit yourself.
821
00:35:00,899 --> 00:35:02,890
I did! I literally did that.
822
00:35:02,968 --> 00:35:04,458
-Oh, God!
[Hunter] He did. I stepped in it.
823
00:35:04,569 --> 00:35:05,558
[all panting]
824
00:35:05,637 --> 00:35:09,300
-Reg, you okay?
-It's nothing. It's just--
825
00:35:09,808 --> 00:35:11,571
You guys risked your life for me.
826
00:35:11,643 --> 00:35:15,079
Bug, you saved me.
I never thought anyone would do that.
827
00:35:15,146 --> 00:35:16,636
-Of course we would.
[Hunter chuckles]
828
00:35:16,748 --> 00:35:19,182
Come on!
You're part of the pack, Reggie.
829
00:35:19,284 --> 00:35:20,808
-We stick together.
[Hunter] That's right.
830
00:35:20,919 --> 00:35:22,614
I've never been part of a pack before.
831
00:35:22,687 --> 00:35:25,155
-Well, you are now.
-I didn't even know that was a thing.
832
00:35:25,256 --> 00:35:26,280
[laughter]
833
00:35:26,358 --> 00:35:28,121
-We‘ll make it a thing.
[Maggie] Yeah.
834
00:35:28,193 --> 00:35:30,923
So, I kind of have a weird idea.
835
00:35:31,663 --> 00:35:33,460
Could-- Could we maybe...
836
00:35:34,432 --> 00:35:37,299
[scoffs] ...pee on each other?
-Say what now?
837
00:35:37,936 --> 00:35:40,928
Well, you said that when you pee
on something, that it's yours.
838
00:35:41,006 --> 00:35:43,873
I just thought that since we're all,
like, friends now, we could--
839
00:35:43,975 --> 00:35:46,967
Pee on each other,
so we belong to each other”?
840
00:35:47,045 --> 00:35:48,103
Yeah.
841
00:35:48,179 --> 00:35:50,272
[scoffs] It was a stupid idea.
842
00:35:50,348 --> 00:35:53,647
Jenna would be so mad
if I came home covered in urine.
843
00:35:55,286 --> 00:35:56,514
Let's fucking do it.
844
00:35:56,621 --> 00:35:58,714
Oh. We're doing it. Okay.
Why don't we do, like, a circle...
845
00:35:58,823 --> 00:36:01,155
-Yeah. Let's lift our left leg.
-Get to the starboard side.
846
00:36:01,226 --> 00:36:03,660
-Yeah, we'll lift our left leg.
[Bug] There we go. Left leg is good.
847
00:36:03,728 --> 00:36:06,060
[Maggie] Good, I get to pee on Bug.
[Bug] Left leg is good.
848
00:36:06,164 --> 00:36:08,064
[all sighing]
849
00:36:08,166 --> 00:36:10,225
[Bug] Whoa.
-This isn'tjust warming my body,
850
00:36:10,335 --> 00:36:11,495
it's warming my heart.
851
00:36:11,569 --> 00:36:12,797
[Reggie] Aw.
[Bug] Wow.
852
00:36:12,871 --> 00:36:14,736
I guess this makes us family now.
853
00:36:14,839 --> 00:36:16,807
-Yeah, we're BFFs.
[Hunter] Yeah.
854
00:36:16,875 --> 00:36:19,503
[Maggie chuckles]
-Even better, we're Pee-FFs.
855
00:36:19,577 --> 00:36:21,511
Pee-FFs! [laughs] I love it.
856
00:36:21,579 --> 00:36:24,013
-Yeah. Love that.
[Maggie] Oh, Bug!
857
00:36:24,082 --> 00:36:26,050
You look happy!
858
00:36:26,151 --> 00:36:28,051
What are you talking about, I look happy?
I'm just smiling
859
00:36:28,153 --> 00:36:29,882
because we're all sitting here
pissing on each other,
860
00:36:29,988 --> 00:36:32,422
so itjust-- I cracked a smile.
It's not an emotional thing.
861
00:36:32,524 --> 00:36:34,014
-You love us!
[Maggie] You love us!
862
00:36:34,092 --> 00:36:35,491
-Okay, that's it.
[Hunter] That's right.
863
00:36:35,560 --> 00:36:36,925
-You do, Bug.
-That's my cue to go to bed.
864
00:36:37,028 --> 00:36:38,689
[Hunter] Come on, Bug.
[Bug] Look, listen.
865
00:36:38,763 --> 00:36:41,664
We got a lot of walking to do
and not much time to do it.
866
00:36:41,733 --> 00:36:42,859
Let's get some sleep.
867
00:36:43,368 --> 00:36:45,063
H-H-Ho-Hold on one second.
868
00:36:48,773 --> 00:36:50,866
-Go back the other way.
-Better the other way. Let me...
869
00:36:50,942 --> 00:36:52,534
[Reggie]
Have you tried sniffing the ground?
870
00:36:52,610 --> 00:36:54,077
Fucked that one up. [groans]
871
00:36:54,179 --> 00:36:55,168
You gotta reset yourself.
872
00:36:55,246 --> 00:36:56,941
[Maggie] Go back 90 degrees.
You were so close.
873
00:36:57,048 --> 00:36:58,037
[Reggie] Now sit down.
874
00:36:58,116 --> 00:36:59,549
[Bug] That'll do. That” do.
875
00:36:59,617 --> 00:37:01,414
[Hunter] All right, finally, good.
Time for bed.
876
00:37:01,519 --> 00:37:03,214
[Maggie] Let's get some sleep.
[Hunter] Okay.
877
00:37:03,288 --> 00:37:05,119
[Hunter] And quick turn... It's time to go...
[Maggie] Wait, hang on.
878
00:37:05,223 --> 00:37:07,691
[Reggie] One turn. Two turns. Three turns.
879
00:37:07,759 --> 00:37:09,249
Oh, God. Bug's really fucked with my head.
880
00:37:09,360 --> 00:37:11,794
-Turn. There, and that's it.
[Maggie] Five, four,
881
00:37:11,896 --> 00:37:13,955
-three, two, one.
[Hunter] Again. Okay. Now I'm ready.
882
00:37:14,065 --> 00:37:16,295
[Maggie] There. I did it. Easy.
883
00:37:16,401 --> 00:37:17,629
And get down.
884
00:37:19,204 --> 00:37:20,432
I'm getting much faster at that.
885
00:37:22,073 --> 00:37:23,563
-Good night, everyone.
-Good night, Reg.
886
00:37:23,641 --> 00:37:24,733
[Maggie] Good night, Reggie.
887
00:37:24,809 --> 00:37:26,538
Thanks again for letting me pee
on you guys.
888
00:37:26,611 --> 00:37:27,441
[Bug] Reggie?
-Yeah?
889
00:37:27,545 --> 00:37:28,773
Could you stop fucking talking?
890
00:37:28,880 --> 00:37:30,313
-Yeah. Yeah, yeah.
[Bug] All right.
891
00:37:40,125 --> 00:37:43,390
[Reggie] Okay, guys. Big day today.
Next up is the giant cone.
892
00:37:43,461 --> 00:37:45,622
[Bug] I don't know what kind of cone
we're gonna find out here.
893
00:37:45,730 --> 00:37:48,130
[Reggie] It can‘t be too hard to find.
It's gigantic.
894
00:37:48,233 --> 00:37:49,996
[Bug] All I see is trees, but whatever.
895
00:37:50,101 --> 00:37:52,968
Hey, mate, have you thought
about how you're gonna do it?
896
00:37:53,071 --> 00:37:54,436
Uh, sorry, d-do what?
897
00:37:54,506 --> 00:37:56,235
-Bite Doug's dick off.
-Oh.
898
00:37:56,307 --> 00:37:58,741
Were you thinking lengthwise
or tip-to-shaft?
899
00:37:58,810 --> 00:37:59,936
Gosh, I don't know.
900
00:38:00,011 --> 00:38:02,445
You know, I've never bitten off
a dick before. [chuckles]
901
00:38:02,514 --> 00:38:04,573
I guess I'll let it just come to me
in the moment.
902
00:38:04,649 --> 00:38:06,310
So, at what point of this trip
903
00:38:06,417 --> 00:38:09,113
are you gonna build up a little BDE
and make a move, huh?
904
00:38:09,187 --> 00:38:10,518
-With Maggie?
-Yes, Maggie--
905
00:38:10,622 --> 00:38:13,113
No, with this mossy stump.
What the fuck you think I'm talking about?
906
00:38:13,191 --> 00:38:15,091
[laughs] No way.
She wouldn't go for me.
907
00:38:15,160 --> 00:38:17,458
I mean, maybe a door opens up
down the road,
908
00:38:17,529 --> 00:38:18,826
but for now, we're just friends.
909
00:38:18,930 --> 00:38:20,625
What are you talking about,
opening up doors?
910
00:38:20,698 --> 00:38:23,792
We don't have thumbs.
You gotta knock the fucking door down.
911
00:38:23,868 --> 00:38:26,428
Yeah, but who would want to date
a failed police dog
912
00:38:26,504 --> 00:38:28,369
who wears a cone 24/7?
913
00:38:28,473 --> 00:38:31,465
Aw, come on, dude.
Girls date losers all the time.
914
00:38:32,510 --> 00:38:35,877
You know, Reggie,
that you don't have to do it, right?
915
00:38:35,980 --> 00:38:38,005
What are you talking about?
Of course I do.
916
00:38:38,116 --> 00:38:41,108
I'm gonna get all over that dick.
Chomp, chomp, chomp. Mmm.
917
00:38:41,186 --> 00:38:44,155
Yeah, but you could just, you know,
move on from Doug,
918
00:38:44,222 --> 00:38:46,452
and then you wouldn't have to
do anything to him at all.
919
00:38:46,524 --> 00:38:47,889
You could always just let it go.
920
00:38:47,992 --> 00:38:49,653
I-I‘m not-- [chuckles]
921
00:38:49,727 --> 00:38:51,957
No. Notjust gonna let it go.
922
00:38:52,030 --> 00:38:54,999
All right, look, you failed doggy school
'cause you was a wuss,
923
00:38:55,066 --> 00:38:57,193
but there's nothing we can do
about your past.
924
00:38:57,302 --> 00:39:00,635
We might, however, be able
to get that thing off your head.
925
00:39:00,705 --> 00:39:02,332
This? No. No. you can't.
926
00:39:02,407 --> 00:39:04,841
Sure we can.
If we all pull together, we can--
927
00:39:04,909 --> 00:39:06,900
No, I mean, I need it.
928
00:39:07,011 --> 00:39:09,070
I keep it on intentionally.
929
00:39:09,180 --> 00:39:10,477
Wait, really?
930
00:39:10,548 --> 00:39:12,345
I assumed it was, like, you know,
a medical thing.
931
00:39:12,417 --> 00:39:13,679
Oh, it is.
932
00:39:13,751 --> 00:39:15,184
I'll do anything to keep it on,
933
00:39:15,253 --> 00:39:17,744
and most self-inflicted injuries
will do the trick.
934
00:39:17,856 --> 00:39:20,723
You know, cat scratches,
ear infection from the toilet,
935
00:39:20,825 --> 00:39:24,591
lick my testicles for hours and hours
until the humans get concerned.
936
00:39:24,696 --> 00:39:27,187
But it's worth it.
I get anxious sometimes,
937
00:39:27,265 --> 00:39:29,859
and the cone helps me
block things out.
938
00:39:30,869 --> 00:39:32,268
What are you guys talking about?
939
00:39:32,370 --> 00:39:34,497
Oh, uh, nothing.
You know, same old, same old.
940
00:39:34,572 --> 00:39:37,063
I'm telling him he's got to
get that big dick energy.
941
00:39:37,175 --> 00:39:39,735
-Bug!
-Well, you've got the first part down.
942
00:39:39,844 --> 00:39:42,074
Thanks for complimenting my penis, Maggie.
943
00:39:42,180 --> 00:39:44,045
You know, your vagina's huge too.
944
00:39:44,115 --> 00:39:46,413
-Seriously?
-Shit. Why did I say that?
945
00:39:49,120 --> 00:39:50,883
[Bug] Reg, let me ask you something.
-Yeah?
946
00:39:50,955 --> 00:39:53,116
How sure are you
that the big cone is this way?
947
00:39:53,224 --> 00:39:54,555
I don't know.
948
00:39:54,626 --> 00:39:58,289
On a scale of "sure" to "not sure."
I'm pretty sure...
949
00:40:00,465 --> 00:40:02,296
that I'm not really sure.
That, I'm sure of.
950
00:40:02,400 --> 00:40:03,890
Holy shit! We're lost.
951
00:40:03,968 --> 00:40:05,299
[Maggie] Great.
-I knew this would happen.
952
00:40:05,403 --> 00:40:08,270
Calm down, Bug. We'll figure it out.
This could be a lot worse.
953
00:40:08,373 --> 00:40:09,397
Oh, really, Hunter?
954
00:40:09,474 --> 00:40:11,465
I'm starving,
we're completely fucking lost,
955
00:40:11,576 --> 00:40:14,136
and my little puppy paw pads
are really hurting right now.
956
00:40:14,245 --> 00:40:16,270
[Maggie] Aw.
-So how exactly could this get worse?
957
00:40:17,415 --> 00:40:18,939
Huh? How could it? Tell me. Huh?
958
00:40:19,050 --> 00:40:20,142
How could it get worse?
959
00:40:21,786 --> 00:40:22,775
[bird screeches]
-Oh, oh, oh!
960
00:40:22,887 --> 00:40:23,911
[Hunter] Bug!
961
00:40:23,988 --> 00:40:25,979
-Why did I say it could get a lot worse?
[Bug] Oh, shit!
962
00:40:26,090 --> 00:40:28,388
Please, please, don't drop me!
Don't eat me! None of that!
963
00:40:28,459 --> 00:40:31,326
[Hunter] That eagle has some good timing.
-Bug! Hold on, buddy!
964
00:40:31,429 --> 00:40:32,760
Reg! Reggie! Guys, help me!
965
00:40:32,830 --> 00:40:34,957
Ask him if he wouldn't mind
bringing you lower!
966
00:40:35,066 --> 00:40:37,159
What are you talking about?
I don't speak bird.
967
00:40:37,268 --> 00:40:39,065
-We're in a real pickle!
[Bug] Help, help, help.
968
00:40:39,137 --> 00:40:40,627
Do something. Somebody do something!
969
00:40:40,738 --> 00:40:41,830
Oh! Oh, God!
970
00:40:41,940 --> 00:40:43,965
[Reggie shouts]
971
00:40:44,075 --> 00:40:45,133
[grunts]
972
00:40:46,177 --> 00:40:47,735
[Bug] Yes! No!
973
00:40:47,812 --> 00:40:49,439
This is fucking crazy,
we're going higher!
974
00:40:49,514 --> 00:40:52,005
[Hunter] Hold on, buddy!
-Reggie! Bug!
975
00:40:52,116 --> 00:40:54,983
Oh, wow,
your balls look huge from this angle.
976
00:40:55,086 --> 00:40:57,953
Thank you. But holy fuck!
977
00:40:58,856 --> 00:41:02,257
[bird-watcher]
That is a golden-cheeked warbler.
978
00:41:03,027 --> 00:41:04,460
I've been missing that one.
979
00:41:05,697 --> 00:41:06,686
Uh...
980
00:41:07,999 --> 00:41:08,988
Mmm.
981
00:41:09,100 --> 00:41:11,466
[humming]
982
00:41:11,536 --> 00:41:12,525
Check.
983
00:41:12,637 --> 00:41:13,626
[sighs]
984
00:41:14,205 --> 00:41:15,536
[Bug barking in distance]
985
00:41:20,178 --> 00:41:22,112
[bird-watcher] Holy shit.
986
00:41:22,780 --> 00:41:25,943
That is the craziest thing
I have ever seen.
987
00:41:27,485 --> 00:41:31,182
And I'm Dennis Quaid,
and Dennis Quaid has seen some shit.
988
00:41:31,723 --> 00:41:33,281
-Let me down, bitch!
-Bug, look!
989
00:41:33,358 --> 00:41:35,019
Over there! The giant cone!
990
00:41:35,126 --> 00:41:36,821
-What?
[Reggie] The giant cone!
991
00:41:36,894 --> 00:41:38,725
[Bug] Oh, the cone! Well, shit.
992
00:41:38,830 --> 00:41:41,355
That would be great news
if we weren't stuck to this fucking bird!
993
00:41:42,300 --> 00:41:45,064
Bug! I got an idea. Hang on!
994
00:41:45,169 --> 00:41:47,694
[grunting]
-Reg, what are you doing?
995
00:41:48,306 --> 00:41:50,706
Oh, God! That's bold!
996
00:41:51,843 --> 00:41:53,174
It's too bold!
997
00:41:53,244 --> 00:41:54,302
[screaming]
998
00:41:54,379 --> 00:41:55,846
[Reggie] Here we go!
999
00:41:57,181 --> 00:41:58,671
[Bug gasps]
1000
00:41:59,584 --> 00:42:01,677
-Wel|, shit-- Ow!
-Ah!
1001
00:42:03,688 --> 00:42:05,246
[Bug, Reggie grunting, groaning]
1002
00:42:05,356 --> 00:42:06,983
[Maggie] Reggie! Bug!
1003
00:42:07,058 --> 00:42:09,151
[Bug] Ah! Help! Shit.
[Reggie] Ah! Branch!
1004
00:42:09,227 --> 00:42:10,251
Smaller branch!
1005
00:42:10,361 --> 00:42:11,350
[Bug] Fuck!
1006
00:42:11,429 --> 00:42:13,897
[both grunting, groaning]
1007
00:42:13,998 --> 00:42:14,987
[Reggie] Shit--
1008
00:42:15,066 --> 00:42:16,055
[Bug] Goddamn--
1009
00:42:16,167 --> 00:42:17,361
[grunting groaning continues]
1010
00:42:17,435 --> 00:42:20,871
Wow, they're hitting
a worst-case-scenario amount of branches.
1011
00:42:20,938 --> 00:42:23,065
[Reggie] Branch!
[Bug] Paws! Paws! Paws!
1012
00:42:23,174 --> 00:42:24,766
[Reggie] Neck!
[Bug] Tail!
1013
00:42:24,876 --> 00:42:27,037
[grunts sighs]
1014
00:42:27,111 --> 00:42:29,011
Oh, my God. I am so sorry.
1015
00:42:29,080 --> 00:42:30,741
I did not mean to barge in like this.
1016
00:42:30,848 --> 00:42:32,042
What, are you guys wrestling?
1017
00:42:32,116 --> 00:42:33,105
[Bug screaming, grunts] Shit!
1018
00:42:33,217 --> 00:42:34,206
[Bug screams, grunts]
1019
00:42:34,285 --> 00:42:35,582
[Maggie] Bug!
[Bug screaming]
1020
00:42:35,686 --> 00:42:36,675
[Reggie screaming, grunts]
1021
00:42:36,754 --> 00:42:38,346
-Reggie!
[Reggie] You're alive!
1022
00:42:38,423 --> 00:42:41,415
[Bug] Oh, fuck.
Got a stick up my ass.
1023
00:42:41,526 --> 00:42:44,017
[Reggie] Well, Hunter was right.
That could have been worse.
1024
00:42:44,095 --> 00:42:45,687
[Bug] Just get the fuck out of the bush.
1025
00:42:45,763 --> 00:42:48,391
[Hunter] Reggie,
you are once again a legend.
1026
00:42:48,466 --> 00:42:49,558
Guys, that was epic.
1027
00:42:49,634 --> 00:42:51,602
Fucking leaves. Get off me!
1028
00:42:51,702 --> 00:42:53,795
Guys! You wouldn't believe it.
We saw the giant cone.
1029
00:42:53,905 --> 00:42:55,031
[Hunter] What?
-Yeah, we did.
1030
00:42:55,106 --> 00:42:56,368
-Really?
-That's amazing.
1031
00:42:56,441 --> 00:42:58,068
That means we're heading
in the right direction.
1032
00:42:58,142 --> 00:42:59,302
Yeah, and not to be cheesy,
1033
00:42:59,410 --> 00:43:02,573
but being up in the sky like that
just moments from my death,
1034
00:43:03,548 --> 00:43:05,641
l-- I learned something about life.
1035
00:43:05,750 --> 00:43:06,717
-What's that?
-What?
1036
00:43:06,784 --> 00:43:08,615
Birds don't have genitals.
1037
00:43:09,487 --> 00:43:10,920
Well, then how do they...
1038
00:43:10,988 --> 00:43:14,890
I don't know.
Maybe they have both parts inside.
1039
00:43:15,460 --> 00:43:17,257
So if you were to say
"go fuck yourself,"
1040
00:43:17,328 --> 00:43:19,489
they could actually do it.
1041
00:43:20,832 --> 00:43:22,493
Um, okay, then.
1042
00:43:22,600 --> 00:43:25,592
So, hey, next up is the devil in the sky.
1043
00:43:25,670 --> 00:43:27,729
[howling]
1044
00:43:27,805 --> 00:43:28,965
Howling.
1045
00:43:29,073 --> 00:43:30,904
Come on, guys. We're over halfway there.
1046
00:43:30,975 --> 00:43:32,340
[Hunter] My howl's getting better.
1047
00:43:32,443 --> 00:43:34,411
-You guys hear that?
[Maggie] Good on you. I'm so proud.
1048
00:43:34,479 --> 00:43:35,571
[Bug] Hey, man.
-Yeah?
1049
00:43:35,646 --> 00:43:37,113
I really appreciate what you did up there.
1050
00:43:37,782 --> 00:43:41,650
I mean, no need to pee on each other
or anything like that, but thanks.
1051
00:43:41,752 --> 00:43:44,152
Of course. We're Pee-FFs.
1052
00:43:44,255 --> 00:43:45,279
We stick together.
1053
00:43:45,990 --> 00:43:48,823
All right, all right. Enough.
Put yourtongue back in your mouth.
1054
00:43:49,127 --> 00:43:53,257
["A-O-K" playing]
1055
00:43:53,331 --> 00:43:56,960
[Hunter] Okay, okay. Never have I ever
gone down on a girl dog.
1056
00:43:57,034 --> 00:43:58,262
[Maggie] Really? Seriously?
1057
00:43:58,336 --> 00:44:00,327
-You guys lick your balls all day.
[Hunter] No, no.
1058
00:44:00,438 --> 00:44:01,632
[Hunter, Reggie] That's different.
1059
00:44:01,706 --> 00:44:03,606
[Maggie] How is it different?
[Bug] It's way different.
1060
00:44:03,674 --> 00:44:04,606
[Hunter] Bones to biscuits.
1061
00:44:04,675 --> 00:44:06,336
[Maggie]
I can't believe that I'm the only one.
1062
00:44:06,444 --> 00:44:07,775
[Hunter] What, you went down on a--
1063
00:44:07,845 --> 00:44:09,938
[Maggie] I was experimenting.
Come on, I was in my twos.
1064
00:44:10,014 --> 00:44:11,379
[Bug] Oh.
[Hunter] Yeah, that's the twos.
1065
00:44:11,482 --> 00:44:12,676
[Reggie] Oh, like a rumspringa.
1066
00:44:12,783 --> 00:44:15,047
A Living in this big blue world... A
1067
00:44:15,153 --> 00:44:18,714
[Reggie] Okay, I got one.
Would you rather eat poop or--
1068
00:44:18,823 --> 00:44:20,984
[Maggie] Eat poop.
[Bug] Eat poop. Definitely eat poop.
1069
00:44:21,058 --> 00:44:22,355
Okay,
but I didn't even get to--
1070
00:44:22,460 --> 00:44:23,825
It doesn't matter.
I like poop.
1071
00:44:25,062 --> 00:44:27,462
[Reggie] So, question.
When dogs have sex from behind...
1072
00:44:27,532 --> 00:44:29,227
[Hunter] Okay, okay...
-. . .what's the style?
1073
00:44:29,333 --> 00:44:31,233
[Bug] That's just regular style.
[Maggie] Regular style.
1074
00:44:31,335 --> 00:44:33,166
[Reggie] Is there another style
or do we only have one?
1075
00:44:33,237 --> 00:44:36,138
[Bug] I only know one style of fucking,
and I've been doing it my whole life.
1076
00:44:36,207 --> 00:44:37,367
[Reggie] Then what's human style?
1077
00:44:37,475 --> 00:44:39,705
[Bug] In human style,
the boy pretends to be the dog
1078
00:44:39,810 --> 00:44:41,539
and the girl pretends to be the couch.
1079
00:44:41,646 --> 00:44:44,308
-It's very complicated.
[Reggie] Wow, that is complicated.
1080
00:44:44,382 --> 00:44:46,179
[Hunter] Every species is different.
1081
00:44:47,685 --> 00:44:50,483
A Two, four, six, eight
Who do we appreciate... A
1082
00:44:50,555 --> 00:44:52,352
[Maggie] All right, I've got ajoke.
Knock, knock.
1083
00:44:52,423 --> 00:44:53,253
[others barking]
1084
00:44:53,357 --> 00:44:54,824
[Maggie] No.
You gotta ask, “Who's there?“
1085
00:44:54,892 --> 00:44:56,883
[Bug] Okay. Got it, got it.
[Maggie] Knock, knock.
1086
00:44:56,994 --> 00:44:58,222
[others barking]
1087
00:44:58,329 --> 00:45:00,854
[Maggie] Guys, stop. You won't even
let me get to the joke part.
1088
00:45:00,932 --> 00:45:03,025
[Reggie] Later, Maggie.
Somebody's at the door.
1089
00:45:03,100 --> 00:45:04,897
[Bug] Nothing funny
about a stranger at the door.
1090
00:45:05,002 --> 00:45:06,663
[Maggie] Ugh. You guys are fucking morons.
1091
00:45:07,438 --> 00:45:10,407
A lknow/llbeA-O, A-O-K... A
1092
00:45:11,375 --> 00:45:13,707
[sniffing]
1093
00:45:14,278 --> 00:45:17,679
[Maggie] You guys got anything yet?
-No. Man, and I'm starving.
1094
00:45:17,748 --> 00:45:20,080
Anything edible over there?
Like a buffalo chicken pizza?
1095
00:45:20,184 --> 00:45:21,583
No, just squirrel poops.
1096
00:45:21,686 --> 00:45:24,553
No, I can't eat no more of that shit.
That goes right through me.
1097
00:45:24,622 --> 00:45:26,522
[Reggie] Hey, I think I got something.
1098
00:45:27,124 --> 00:45:28,250
[Hunter] What do you got?
1099
00:45:32,363 --> 00:45:34,388
-What are those?
-Kind of looks like food.
1100
00:45:34,465 --> 00:45:35,898
I don't know.
1101
00:45:37,268 --> 00:45:39,236
[Bug] Let me get at it.
[Reggie] Mmm. It's not too bad.
1102
00:45:39,303 --> 00:45:41,430
[Bug] I'm down to clown.
[Reggie] How many of these should we eat?
1103
00:45:41,539 --> 00:45:43,530
[Hunter] All of them?
[Reggie] Yeah, that makes sense.
1104
00:45:43,608 --> 00:45:45,200
[Maggie] These are so good. Mmm.
1105
00:45:45,276 --> 00:45:46,470
Ooh, this one‘s spicy.
1106
00:45:46,577 --> 00:45:48,135
[Hunter] Mmm.
Kinda nutty, right?
1107
00:45:54,252 --> 00:45:55,310
[belches]
1108
00:45:55,419 --> 00:45:57,546
All right. [sighs]
1109
00:45:57,622 --> 00:46:01,149
That should hold us. Solid dinner. Mmm.
1110
00:46:01,259 --> 00:46:02,783
All right, let's get moving.
1111
00:46:02,893 --> 00:46:05,088
Oh, shit. Gimme a sec.
1112
00:46:05,162 --> 00:46:06,720
Whoa. Whoa.
1113
00:46:06,797 --> 00:46:08,128
What the fuck?
1114
00:46:11,969 --> 00:46:14,631
["Flat Beat" playing]
1115
00:46:17,441 --> 00:46:19,739
Hunter, your cone.
1116
00:46:19,810 --> 00:46:22,836
Oh, yeah, yeah, I know.
I should probably take it off.
1117
00:46:22,947 --> 00:46:24,812
No, no. It's growing.
1118
00:46:24,915 --> 00:46:27,907
Oh, my God. [chuckles] Oh, my God.
1119
00:46:27,985 --> 00:46:29,976
[voice] Bug.
-No.
1120
00:46:30,087 --> 00:46:32,078
[laughter]
[voice] Bug!
1121
00:46:32,156 --> 00:46:33,316
[Bug] Can't be.
1122
00:46:35,192 --> 00:46:36,181
Dolores!
1123
00:46:36,794 --> 00:46:39,319
-He|lo, Bug.
-What you doing out here?
1124
00:46:39,430 --> 00:46:40,624
We need to talk.
1125
00:46:40,698 --> 00:46:43,132
Wait, Maggie. You look different.
1126
00:46:43,200 --> 00:46:44,189
Really?
1127
00:46:44,302 --> 00:46:46,634
Oh, shit, you look different too.
1128
00:46:46,704 --> 00:46:48,865
-How so?
-Um, you're kinda...
1129
00:46:48,973 --> 00:46:50,372
Is it my human hands?
1130
00:46:52,143 --> 00:46:54,509
-Do you think I could play piano now?
[Maggie] Definitely.
1131
00:47:00,318 --> 00:47:01,307
[Reggie] Doug?
1132
00:47:01,986 --> 00:47:02,975
[echoing] Hey, Reggie!
1133
00:47:03,054 --> 00:47:05,887
Doug! How's it going?
1134
00:47:05,990 --> 00:47:07,548
Not great. Yeah.
1135
00:47:07,658 --> 00:47:09,023
Just giving it one last shave,
1136
00:47:09,126 --> 00:47:11,993
'cause word on the street
is you're planning to bite it off.
1137
00:47:12,063 --> 00:47:14,031
Oh. That was supposed to be a surprise.
1138
00:47:14,131 --> 00:47:15,120
Who told you?
1139
00:47:15,199 --> 00:47:17,190
[chiming]
-Sorry, Daddy.
1140
00:47:17,301 --> 00:47:19,531
Oh! My son, the gnome.
1141
00:47:19,637 --> 00:47:21,036
-We‘re done, Bug.
-What?
1142
00:47:21,138 --> 00:47:23,402
-I'm seeing someone else now.
-Who?
1143
00:47:24,342 --> 00:47:25,832
You kidding me? Him?
1144
00:47:25,910 --> 00:47:27,343
Hey! Go fuck yourself, man!
1145
00:47:27,411 --> 00:47:29,038
[screeches]
1146
00:47:30,414 --> 00:47:31,881
Dolores, come back!
1147
00:47:31,982 --> 00:47:33,244
[Labrador] He yelled to the sky.
1148
00:47:33,351 --> 00:47:35,216
But what Bug didn’t realize—
1149
00:47:35,319 --> 00:47:37,651
-Fuck you, narrator dog!
-He said
1150
00:47:37,722 --> 00:47:39,212
Stop saying "he said.“
1151
00:47:40,591 --> 00:47:41,649
He replied
1152
00:47:41,726 --> 00:47:44,092
I always had such high hopes
for you, Reggie.
1153
00:47:44,895 --> 00:47:49,662
ljust wanted you to be...
[distorted] ...a good boy.
1154
00:47:49,734 --> 00:47:51,759
All I ever wanted was to be a good boy.
1155
00:47:51,869 --> 00:47:53,063
Goodbye, Reggie.
1156
00:47:55,339 --> 00:47:57,068
Wait, Doug! Come back!
1157
00:47:57,174 --> 00:48:00,439
-Whoa, whoa. What's that smell?
-Wait, wh-what?
1158
00:48:00,544 --> 00:48:02,409
[Maggie sniffing]
It's coming from over here.
1159
00:48:02,513 --> 00:48:05,175
-Hunter, are you seeing this?
[toy squeaking]
1160
00:48:05,249 --> 00:48:06,716
[Hunter] Toys
-Toys! l
1161
00:48:06,784 --> 00:48:08,945
Guys, get in here! Get over here!
1162
00:48:09,053 --> 00:48:10,748
[toy squeaking]
[Reggie grunts]
1163
00:48:10,855 --> 00:48:13,346
[Bug] Reg, pull this one with me.
[Reggie] It’s so squishy!
1164
00:48:13,424 --> 00:48:15,790
[Maggie] 0h, fluhy!
[Bug] 1 can’tfee/ my snout.
1165
00:48:15,893 --> 00:48:17,793
[Maggie] Oh! Toys everywhere!
1166
00:48:17,895 --> 00:48:20,125
[laughter]
1167
00:48:20,231 --> 00:48:22,563
[H u nter]
ldon’t want this day to ever end!
1168
00:48:22,633 --> 00:48:25,625
[Reggie echoing] Yeah, me neither!
1169
00:48:32,309 --> 00:48:34,903
[snoring]
1170
00:48:38,048 --> 00:48:40,107
Morning, guys. Comfy?
1171
00:48:40,718 --> 00:48:43,448
Oh, shit.
I thought you were Dolores. My bad.
1172
00:48:43,554 --> 00:48:45,920
-I gotta go pee.
-What's that by your feet, Reggie?
1173
00:48:45,990 --> 00:48:47,890
My feet? What are you talking about?
1174
00:48:47,958 --> 00:48:49,619
-What is that?
-Yeah, what is that?
1175
00:48:49,727 --> 00:48:51,422
Oh, my God. That's an ear!
1176
00:48:52,430 --> 00:48:54,796
-An ear?
-Holy fucking shit!
1177
00:48:54,899 --> 00:48:57,094
They were toys.
Guys, where are the goddamn toys?
1178
00:48:57,168 --> 00:48:59,568
This is not real. This is not real!
1179
00:48:59,637 --> 00:49:02,572
[Hunter] This is real!
This is real! Oh, my God!
1180
00:49:02,640 --> 00:49:03,902
We killed 'em! [exclaims]
1181
00:49:03,974 --> 00:49:04,963
I'm gonna barf.
1182
00:49:05,075 --> 00:49:07,236
[retches] Oh, God,
there's fur in the barf!
1183
00:49:07,311 --> 00:49:09,472
We're fucking murderers!
Oh, my God. Now I'm gonna barf.
1184
00:49:09,580 --> 00:49:11,343
Holy fuck! This can't be happening!
1185
00:49:11,449 --> 00:49:13,974
Hang in there. Stay with me. I'll fix you.
1186
00:49:14,819 --> 00:49:16,912
-Bug, what are you doing?
-What does it look like?
1187
00:49:16,987 --> 00:49:18,818
I'm getting rid of the evidence.
Nobody can know!
1188
00:49:24,195 --> 00:49:25,822
[flies buzzing]
1189
00:49:27,932 --> 00:49:32,130
Um... We are gathered here today
to say goodbye to the bunnies.
1190
00:49:32,837 --> 00:49:34,327
Honestly,
what we did was an accident.
1191
00:49:34,438 --> 00:49:35,370
-Absolutely.
-Right.
1192
00:49:35,473 --> 00:49:38,670
And I know that if we weren't confused
from the food we ate,
1193
00:49:38,776 --> 00:49:42,303
we would have never mauled you,
tore all your limbs off
1194
00:49:42,379 --> 00:49:46,281
and shook your corpses around
while giggling gleefully by accident.
1195
00:49:46,350 --> 00:49:48,045
So bless you, bunnies.
1196
00:49:48,152 --> 00:49:49,312
-Yes. Sorry.
-Bless you.
1197
00:49:49,386 --> 00:49:50,444
-So sorry.
-Sorry.
1198
00:49:50,521 --> 00:49:51,954
-Amen.
-All right, that's it.
1199
00:49:52,022 --> 00:49:54,991
Never speak of this again.
Not one word, do you hear me?
1200
00:49:55,059 --> 00:49:56,185
Not one fucking word.
1201
00:49:56,293 --> 00:49:58,955
-Not one word about what?
-Oh, shit. The cops.
1202
00:49:59,029 --> 00:50:00,360
"Oh, shit's“ right, motherfucker.
1203
00:50:00,464 --> 00:50:02,694
Wh-Wh-What did we do?
We're innocent, I promise.
1204
00:50:04,368 --> 00:50:06,461
On the ground! Lay down!
Paws where I can see 'em.
1205
00:50:06,537 --> 00:50:08,300
-We‘re laying down.
-Search these bitches.
1206
00:50:08,372 --> 00:50:10,465
-They're hiding something.
-Oh, God, what do we do?
1207
00:50:10,541 --> 00:50:13,305
Calm down. I got this.
I'm gonna speak with my white dog voice.
1208
00:50:13,377 --> 00:50:17,711
Hello, officer. None of us have
ever killed a bunny in our lives.
1209
00:50:17,815 --> 00:50:20,147
[Maggie, Reggie, Hunter] Bug!
-What? Everybody shut the fuck up.
1210
00:50:20,217 --> 00:50:21,844
We're looking for a lost Girl Scout.
1211
00:50:21,919 --> 00:50:24,319
Riley Anderson. Age eight in human years.
1212
00:50:24,388 --> 00:50:26,356
Wandered away from her campsite
two days ago.
1213
00:50:26,423 --> 00:50:28,357
Thought you dogs might
have some contact with her.
1214
00:50:28,425 --> 00:50:29,585
I've got nothing, sir.
1215
00:50:29,693 --> 00:50:31,558
But it smells like you haven't.
Let's move out.
1216
00:50:31,662 --> 00:50:33,391
Wait, wait. I could help.
1217
00:50:33,497 --> 00:50:35,431
I'm sorry, I don't really
want to be that bitch,
1218
00:50:35,533 --> 00:50:37,660
but I'm actually really good at sniffing,
1219
00:50:37,735 --> 00:50:40,397
and I'd be happy to assist
in finding this lost girl.
1220
00:50:40,504 --> 00:50:41,732
Adorable.
1221
00:50:41,839 --> 00:50:43,864
Yeah, no, thanks, Australian Shep-turd.
1222
00:50:43,941 --> 00:50:47,001
Excuse me, but you really shouldn't
talk to her like that.
1223
00:50:47,077 --> 00:50:49,204
And what the fuck
are you gonna do about it?
1224
00:50:49,280 --> 00:50:52,511
M will do nothing the fuck about it.
I am sitting down now.
1225
00:50:52,583 --> 00:50:53,709
Oh, Hunter.
1226
00:50:54,285 --> 00:50:56,378
-Hunter?
-Rolf?
1227
00:50:56,453 --> 00:50:59,786
Holy mother-flipping shit!
1228
00:50:59,890 --> 00:51:01,414
I didn't recognize you with the cone.
1229
00:51:01,525 --> 00:51:03,049
Yeah, yeah. I got a cone now.
1230
00:51:03,127 --> 00:51:04,389
Bring it in, bro.
1231
00:51:04,461 --> 00:51:05,621
-Buddy!
-Give me some!
1232
00:51:05,729 --> 00:51:06,889
God. Well, I should‘ve known,
1233
00:51:06,964 --> 00:51:09,262
'cause your butthole smells
exactly the same.
1234
00:51:09,366 --> 00:51:10,731
I'll never forget this butthole.
1235
00:51:10,801 --> 00:51:12,359
-What the fuck?
-You know this guy?
1236
00:51:12,436 --> 00:51:15,530
You kidding me? This fucker and I
went to the academy together.
1237
00:51:15,606 --> 00:51:17,938
Everything I know I learned
from this son of a bitch.
1238
00:51:18,042 --> 00:51:19,566
Technically,
we're all sons of bitches, sir.
1239
00:51:19,643 --> 00:51:21,873
Shut up.
Hey, so where'd you end up, brother?
1240
00:51:21,946 --> 00:51:24,471
Drug sniffing? Bomb detection?
What are we talking about?
1241
00:51:24,582 --> 00:51:27,813
Oh, um... Well, I take care of dying humans.
1242
00:51:27,918 --> 00:51:28,907
Oh.
1243
00:51:28,986 --> 00:51:30,886
I mean, that‘s not the end of the world,
I guess.
1244
00:51:30,955 --> 00:51:32,786
Oh. For them it is. [chuckles]
1245
00:51:32,890 --> 00:51:34,414
Well, hey, guys.
1246
00:51:34,491 --> 00:51:35,958
You found some strays, Rolf?
1247
00:51:36,060 --> 00:51:37,152
Huh?
1248
00:51:37,261 --> 00:51:39,786
-Good job.
-So what are you fuckers doing out here?
1249
00:51:39,897 --> 00:51:43,094
-Oh, uh, well, it's a long story.
-We're gonna bite a guy's dick off.
1250
00:51:43,167 --> 00:51:44,293
It's actually a short story.
1251
00:51:44,401 --> 00:51:47,495
Nice! Man, when I joined the force,
you could bite dicks left and right.
1252
00:51:47,605 --> 00:51:51,132
Nowadays, I chomp a dick,
I gotta fill out two weeks of paperwork.
1253
00:51:51,241 --> 00:51:54,142
Can I get an AC unit down
to Old Forest Road 54?
1254
00:51:54,244 --> 00:51:56,940
We're trying to get to the devil
in the sky. Does that sound familiar?
1255
00:51:57,014 --> 00:51:58,845
-Devil in the sky? Yeah.
[officer] Much appreciated.
1256
00:51:58,949 --> 00:52:00,507
You stick with us,
we'll show you the way.
1257
00:52:00,618 --> 00:52:02,779
-Wow, really?
-Sure thing, rat boy.
1258
00:52:03,854 --> 00:52:05,651
[Rolf] Let's not wait
so long next time, huh?
1259
00:52:05,756 --> 00:52:07,815
-What's it been, seven years?
-I think just one,
1260
00:52:07,925 --> 00:52:10,291
but every year feels like seven to us,
so that makes sense.
1261
00:52:10,361 --> 00:52:11,953
[Bug] Okay.
We gotta get our story straight.
1262
00:52:12,029 --> 00:52:14,361
It was a possum who
killed all the bunnies. Got it?
1263
00:52:14,465 --> 00:52:16,194
-Wait, what's the possum's name?
-Uh, Greg.
1264
00:52:16,300 --> 00:52:20,361
That's not a believable name for a possum.
Ooh. Can it be Monty?
1265
00:52:20,471 --> 00:52:23,167
-Hey. Cath.
-Steve, thanks for coming over.
1266
00:52:23,273 --> 00:52:25,332
Hey, little guy. Want a treat?
1267
00:52:25,442 --> 00:52:26,966
Treats! I love treats!
1268
00:52:27,044 --> 00:52:29,808
Oh, my goodness,
does somebody want a treat?
1269
00:52:29,880 --> 00:52:31,507
This one's all for you.
I got tons of treats.
1270
00:52:31,615 --> 00:52:32,980
Reggie, it's a trap!
1271
00:52:33,050 --> 00:52:34,642
[Hunter] Hey!
[Maggie screams]
1272
00:52:34,718 --> 00:52:35,707
[Bug] No, no, no!
1273
00:52:35,819 --> 00:52:37,548
Those bunnies were dead
when we found them.
1274
00:52:37,655 --> 00:52:39,816
It was a possum named, uh, Greg, or--
1275
00:52:39,890 --> 00:52:42,825
[Reggie] Monty!
His name was Monty, not Greg.
1276
00:52:42,893 --> 00:52:44,053
[Bug] We had no choice.
They threatened us!
1277
00:52:44,161 --> 00:52:46,220
But, Rolf,
I thought we were pals.
1278
00:52:46,330 --> 00:52:49,026
Sorry, old friend. The law's the law.
You know how it is.
1279
00:52:49,133 --> 00:52:50,691
What a sadistic fuck.
1280
00:52:50,801 --> 00:52:53,497
Hey, calm down, sweetie pie.
You'll all be fine.
1281
00:52:53,570 --> 00:52:55,231
If you got tags, they'll send you home.
1282
00:52:57,641 --> 00:52:58,801
[dogs barking]
[wolf whistle]
1283
00:52:58,876 --> 00:53:00,241
-Oh, fresh meat.
-Hey, big boy.
1284
00:53:00,344 --> 00:53:03,245
-I like the mouth on that one.
-We‘re gonna cuddle real hard.
1285
00:53:03,347 --> 00:53:06,214
-Hey, bitch! Hey, little bitch! [howls]
[smacking lips]
1286
00:53:06,316 --> 00:53:09,046
Guys, we gotta get out of here.
We're running out of time.
1287
00:53:09,153 --> 00:53:10,984
-Where even are we?
-Nowhere good.
1288
00:53:11,055 --> 00:53:12,886
No, no, no. I can't be here.
1289
00:53:12,990 --> 00:53:14,184
I can't. Not this again.
1290
00:53:14,258 --> 00:53:15,520
Come on, mate.
We'll be fine.
1291
00:53:15,592 --> 00:53:18,356
Rolf told us they'll just send us home.
It'll be all right.
1292
00:53:18,429 --> 00:53:20,863
They only send you home
if you got a home to go back to.
1293
00:53:20,931 --> 00:53:24,731
And do you know what these people do
to dogs that don't have one, Hunter? Huh?
1294
00:53:24,835 --> 00:53:28,202
Do you have any idea
what they're about to do to me and Reg?
1295
00:53:28,272 --> 00:53:29,762
Calm down, Bug. We'll figure this out.
1296
00:53:29,873 --> 00:53:31,397
Ain't nothing to figure out, Maggie.
1297
00:53:31,508 --> 00:53:33,772
These humans caught us
and now we are fucked.
1298
00:53:33,877 --> 00:53:35,242
Bug, you don't know that.
1299
00:53:35,345 --> 00:53:36,710
Yeah. I mean, Bug,
1300
00:53:36,780 --> 00:53:40,216
you say you know so much about humans,
but you don't really know them either.
1301
00:53:40,284 --> 00:53:41,717
I mean, you've never had an owner.
1302
00:53:41,785 --> 00:53:44,117
You never had a Jenna.
You never had a Doug.
1303
00:53:44,221 --> 00:53:45,188
I had an Emma!
1304
00:53:45,255 --> 00:53:46,688
-lgasps}
-What?
1305
00:53:46,757 --> 00:53:49,453
Whoa.
Bug, you had an owner?
1306
00:53:50,060 --> 00:53:51,254
Yeah.
1307
00:53:51,361 --> 00:53:55,559
And I told myself
that I would never say her name again.
1308
00:53:56,533 --> 00:53:58,694
But y'all need to hear this.
1309
00:53:58,769 --> 00:54:00,031
-No.
-No? Okay.
1310
00:54:00,104 --> 00:54:01,867
[Bug] I don’t remember everything,
1311
00:54:01,939 --> 00:54:03,964
but / remember
the day she got me out of there.
1312
00:54:04,074 --> 00:54:05,098
{gasps}
1313
00:54:05,209 --> 00:54:07,473
[child] This one.
[mother] He's a cute little bugger.
1314
00:54:07,578 --> 00:54:09,603
Cute little bug.
1315
00:54:11,415 --> 00:54:13,406
[Bug] We did everything together.
1316
00:54:13,484 --> 00:54:19,047
We played all day, and no matter
how stupid / acted, she always laughed.
1317
00:54:19,123 --> 00:54:20,283
Trick or treat.
1318
00:54:20,390 --> 00:54:22,290
[Bug] We even did this thing lhated,
1319
00:54:22,392 --> 00:54:25,088
where she would dress us up
in super weird clothes,
1320
00:54:25,162 --> 00:54:28,222
and ask the neighbors to give us
that chocolate humans make from dog poop.
1321
00:54:28,298 --> 00:54:29,458
Oh, not for you, honey.
1322
00:54:29,566 --> 00:54:32,660
[Bug whimpers]
[Emma] It's okay. It's just a storm.
1323
00:54:32,770 --> 00:54:36,501
[Bug] But even better than all the fun
we had is the way she made me feel
1324
00:54:36,607 --> 00:54:38,268
I love you.
1325
00:54:38,342 --> 00:54:40,503
[Bug] When she said that,
lfe/t so special.
1326
00:54:41,645 --> 00:54:45,411
And then it was usually fol/o wed
by these incredible belly scratches.
1327
00:54:45,482 --> 00:54:47,643
No one ever made my leg kick like that.
1328
00:54:47,751 --> 00:54:52,085
Except for this one night with a raccoon
I don’t like to talk about, but, anyway.
1329
00:54:53,190 --> 00:54:55,852
But then I made a mistake.
1330
00:54:56,493 --> 00:54:58,791
helps}
[Emma screams]
1331
00:54:58,862 --> 00:54:59,851
[Bug] it was a blur.
1332
00:55:01,632 --> 00:55:04,123
/ didn’t even know what l did
until it was too late.
1333
00:55:04,835 --> 00:55:06,200
Say goodbye to Bug?
1334
00:55:08,205 --> 00:55:09,194
[whimpers]
1335
00:55:09,306 --> 00:55:10,830
[crying]
1336
00:55:10,941 --> 00:55:12,306
[barks]
1337
00:55:14,178 --> 00:55:16,874
[Bug] / thought l was getting
put in time-out or something.
1338
00:55:18,982 --> 00:55:20,108
But the place she sent me to...
1339
00:55:21,785 --> 00:55:23,878
the time-outs there never end
1340
00:55:25,022 --> 00:55:26,546
[veterinarian screams]
[assistant] Whoa!
1341
00:55:31,829 --> 00:55:32,955
I never saw her again.
1342
00:55:33,797 --> 00:55:35,355
After all we had been through.
1343
00:55:35,465 --> 00:55:40,562
Everything she made me feel,
everything I thought I made her feel.
1344
00:55:40,671 --> 00:55:42,730
Just nothing.
1345
00:55:42,840 --> 00:55:46,571
We did so much together.
She taught me so many tricks.
1346
00:55:46,677 --> 00:55:50,078
But the one trick
she never wanted me to learn was...
1347
00:55:50,180 --> 00:55:51,306
"Stay."
1348
00:55:51,381 --> 00:55:52,848
Mmm.
1349
00:55:52,916 --> 00:55:54,645
I think I zoned out
around the middle part.
1350
00:55:54,718 --> 00:55:55,707
Can you tell it again?
1351
00:55:55,819 --> 00:55:58,185
Hunter, I'm not gonna tell
the middle part again.
1352
00:55:58,255 --> 00:56:00,018
I'm sorry, Bug. I had no idea.
1353
00:56:00,090 --> 00:56:02,183
Don't be sorry, Reg. Be thankful.
1354
00:56:02,259 --> 00:56:04,227
'Cause you got a chance
to make this right.
1355
00:56:04,328 --> 00:56:08,389
Oh, what I wouldn't give to bite this girl
in the dick.
1356
00:56:08,498 --> 00:56:11,160
But you know, she's six,
and I don't know where she lives now,
1357
00:56:11,235 --> 00:56:13,703
and she's a girl
and doesn't even have a dick, but still.
1358
00:56:13,770 --> 00:56:16,739
Listen.
What we're doing isn'tjust about Doug.
1359
00:56:16,840 --> 00:56:18,933
We're doing this for all of them.
1360
00:56:19,042 --> 00:56:23,376
For every single one of those humans
who treated us like shit.
1361
00:56:24,081 --> 00:56:26,675
Man, biggest mistake of my life.
1362
00:56:26,750 --> 00:56:29,048
Yeah, I'd regret that bite too.
1363
00:56:29,119 --> 00:56:32,179
The bite? No, I'm talking about her.
1364
00:56:32,256 --> 00:56:34,019
She's the mistake. Not the--
1365
00:56:34,291 --> 00:56:37,089
Okay, well, we can talk about
getting back at your exes all we want.
1366
00:56:37,194 --> 00:56:39,253
But none of that matters
if we can't get out of here.
1367
00:56:39,363 --> 00:56:42,526
Guys, what if we can get the key?
1368
00:56:50,407 --> 00:56:53,808
Oh, no, we'd need, like,
a super long pole to hook it.
1369
00:56:57,281 --> 00:56:59,215
Why is everyone looking at me?
1370
00:57:03,387 --> 00:57:04,979
Come on, Hunter. You can do it.
1371
00:57:06,990 --> 00:57:08,321
[Hunter grunting]
[Reggie] You're so close.
1372
00:57:08,425 --> 00:57:09,414
Just a little more.
1373
00:57:09,493 --> 00:57:11,393
Come on, get hornier!
You can do it!
1374
00:57:11,461 --> 00:57:12,894
This is all I got.
1375
00:57:12,963 --> 00:57:14,931
Maggie, come on. Excite him.
1376
00:57:15,799 --> 00:57:22,329
[whispering] Hunter, this has been
a really long, hard trip.
1377
00:57:22,439 --> 00:57:27,843
But the thing that keeps me panting
is thinking about us doing it
1378
00:57:28,445 --> 00:57:29,810
regular style.
1379
00:57:29,913 --> 00:57:31,642
Oh, boy! It's working.
1380
00:57:31,748 --> 00:57:33,807
Keep talking, Maggie. More sexy stuff.
1381
00:57:33,917 --> 00:57:38,411
Just picture me,
all eight nipples rock hard.
1382
00:57:40,691 --> 00:57:42,659
[gasps] ...the cone.
1383
00:57:42,759 --> 00:57:43,691
[grunts]
1384
00:57:44,928 --> 00:57:46,020
[Reggie] You're doing it, Hunter.
1385
00:57:46,129 --> 00:57:48,689
Come on, Hunter.
Use that dick of yours.
1386
00:57:49,366 --> 00:57:50,526
Yes, Hunter!
1387
00:57:50,634 --> 00:57:53,194
[straining]
[Maggie] Hunter! Hunter!
1388
00:57:53,303 --> 00:57:56,295
[all] Hunter! Hunter! Hunter!
1389
00:57:56,373 --> 00:57:58,273
Hunter! Hunter!
1390
00:57:58,342 --> 00:57:59,809
Hunter!
1391
00:57:59,876 --> 00:58:01,309
[dog] Hunter!
1392
00:58:01,378 --> 00:58:03,039
Sorry, guys. It's hopeless.
1393
00:58:03,146 --> 00:58:04,443
[Maggie] Oh, Hunter.
1394
00:58:04,514 --> 00:58:06,277
Shit. Really thought
that was gonna work.
1395
00:58:06,350 --> 00:58:08,215
Sorry my dick let you down.
1396
00:58:08,318 --> 00:58:10,183
Wait, I've got it.
1397
00:58:10,287 --> 00:58:12,448
What's the one thing humans
are obsessed with?
1398
00:58:12,522 --> 00:58:14,217
-Uh, themselves.
-Painting their faces.
1399
00:58:14,324 --> 00:58:15,484
-Dying.
-No.
1400
00:58:15,559 --> 00:58:16,890
Bug, you said it yourself.
1401
00:58:16,994 --> 00:58:20,657
What's the thing
humans are most obsessed with about dogs?
1402
00:58:20,731 --> 00:58:22,323
-Our shit!
-Yes!
1403
00:58:22,399 --> 00:58:24,560
Every single time we shit,
what do they do?
1404
00:58:24,668 --> 00:58:26,067
-They come and bag it up.
[Maggie] Yeah.
1405
00:58:26,169 --> 00:58:28,865
That's right.
Once this place gets all poopy,
1406
00:58:28,972 --> 00:58:32,669
Willy comes in and bags it up,
like he's collecting it for something.
1407
00:58:32,743 --> 00:58:35,644
-Exactly! That's our ticket out of here.
[dog] For chocolate!
1408
00:58:35,712 --> 00:58:38,044
We poop until he has to open these doors,
1409
00:58:38,148 --> 00:58:40,207
and when he does, we charge!
1410
00:58:40,317 --> 00:58:42,012
[Maggie] Good on ya.
-Nice thinking, kid. I'm in!
1411
00:58:42,085 --> 00:58:43,382
I got a couple of shits
in the chamber.
1412
00:58:43,487 --> 00:58:44,852
[dogs groaning, murmuring]
1413
00:58:44,921 --> 00:58:46,388
-Not gonna happen.
-No, thanks, kid.
1414
00:58:46,490 --> 00:58:48,754
What‘s wrong with you guys?
Don't you want to get out of this place?
1415
00:58:48,859 --> 00:58:51,384
Of course.
But we've been burned so many times,
1416
00:58:51,495 --> 00:58:54,259
we're smart enough to know
that we'll never get beyond these walls
1417
00:58:54,364 --> 00:58:56,332
without a human coming to adopt us.
1418
00:58:57,701 --> 00:58:59,828
Look, I get it.
1419
00:58:59,903 --> 00:59:01,598
I've had dark moments.
1420
00:59:01,705 --> 00:59:03,605
Moments where I felt stuck.
1421
00:59:04,374 --> 00:59:06,842
Moments where,
even if you couldn't see it,
1422
00:59:06,910 --> 00:59:10,346
it felt like there was a wall
or a fence holding you back.
1423
00:59:10,414 --> 00:59:12,780
Yeah, invisible magic fences.
I swear to God, that's real.
1424
00:59:12,883 --> 00:59:16,182
But I'm here to tell you
that's garbage talk.
1425
00:59:16,253 --> 00:59:19,017
'Cause I was lucky enough
to meet some amazing friends,
1426
00:59:19,089 --> 00:59:21,785
who taught me that just beyond those walls
1427
00:59:21,892 --> 00:59:24,690
is a bunch of incredible stuff
worth living for.
1428
00:59:24,761 --> 00:59:26,524
There's Iampposts to pee on.
1429
00:59:26,596 --> 00:59:29,565
There's scraps to eat
and couches to make love to.
1430
00:59:29,633 --> 00:59:31,032
And dead bunnies...
1431
00:59:31,101 --> 00:59:32,864
[Bug clears throat]
-...that H know nothing about.
1432
00:59:32,936 --> 00:59:35,530
-I know nothing about that either.
-No clue what you're talking about.
1433
00:59:35,605 --> 00:59:37,766
-Tennis balls to fetch and--
-A dick to bite off!
1434
00:59:37,874 --> 00:59:39,808
What? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. That too.
1435
00:59:40,877 --> 00:59:44,813
But most importantly,
there's a life out there worth living.
1436
00:59:44,915 --> 00:59:46,382
[Hunter] Go, Reg!
[Maggie] Whoo! Reggie!
1437
00:59:46,450 --> 00:59:50,284
So I'm asking you,
do you want to stay here and die,
1438
00:59:50,387 --> 00:59:54,118
or do you want to shit your brains out
and live?
1439
00:59:54,224 --> 00:59:56,089
-Live! Live!
-We wanna live!
1440
00:59:57,260 --> 01:00:01,128
Then poop with me!
Poop with me to freedom!
1441
01:00:01,231 --> 01:00:05,930
A Oh, shit, oh, shit, oh, shitA
1442
01:00:06,002 --> 01:00:08,596
-A Oh, shit, oh, shitA
-A Are you ready for this.7A
1443
01:00:08,672 --> 01:00:11,664
-A Oh, shit, oh, shitA
-A 0h... A
1444
01:00:11,775 --> 01:00:15,074
Dig deep inside of you!
Deep inside your colon.
1445
01:00:15,645 --> 01:00:17,510
Release your pent-up feelings.
1446
01:00:18,582 --> 01:00:20,140
Let it flow!
1447
01:00:20,984 --> 01:00:22,315
A When / come to the club A
1448
01:00:22,419 --> 01:00:23,408
-A Step aside A
-A 0h, shitA
1449
01:00:23,487 --> 01:00:25,648
A Part the seas
Don’t be ha vin ’ me in the line A
1450
01:00:25,755 --> 01:00:26,585
A Oh, shit... A
1451
01:00:26,656 --> 01:00:29,352
Great work, everybody! Keep on pooping!
1452
01:00:29,459 --> 01:00:31,927
-A And me love you long time A
-A 0h, shitA
1453
01:00:31,995 --> 01:00:34,293
A How come every time you come aroundA
1454
01:00:34,364 --> 01:00:36,924
A My London, London Bridge
Wanna go down .7 A
1455
01:00:37,000 --> 01:00:39,798
A Like London, London, London
Be goin’down like... A
1456
01:00:44,941 --> 01:00:46,340
Those are my eyes.
1457
01:00:47,477 --> 01:00:48,671
Exactly.
1458
01:00:49,479 --> 01:00:51,344
I think Dad's really gonna love this.
1459
01:00:54,518 --> 01:00:55,507
[sniffing]
1460
01:00:58,488 --> 01:01:00,649
I think it's working. Places, everyone.
1461
01:01:04,528 --> 01:01:05,688
[sighs]
1462
01:01:08,498 --> 01:01:09,897
Oh.
1463
01:01:10,000 --> 01:01:12,560
Oh, God. I can taste it.
1464
01:01:12,669 --> 01:01:13,897
Oh.
1465
01:01:17,541 --> 01:01:18,530
What...
1466
01:01:19,342 --> 01:01:20,832
[sighs]
1467
01:01:22,913 --> 01:01:23,902
Oh, fuck.
1468
01:01:28,185 --> 01:01:29,652
[keys jingling]
1469
01:01:33,924 --> 01:01:36,188
[lock clicks]
[door opens]
1470
01:01:40,096 --> 01:01:41,427
Very cute.
1471
01:01:41,531 --> 01:01:43,897
Very funny. [scoffs]
1472
01:01:44,000 --> 01:01:45,262
I see what's going on here.
1473
01:01:45,368 --> 01:01:48,860
You guys thinkthat I...
1474
01:01:50,040 --> 01:01:52,565
am a big, fat fucking asshole. Right?
1475
01:01:52,676 --> 01:01:54,507
You know everything about me.
1476
01:01:54,578 --> 01:01:57,274
You know all the things
that have happened in my life
1477
01:01:57,380 --> 01:01:59,746
with my dad and my ex-wife.
1478
01:02:01,184 --> 01:02:02,913
[crying]
1479
01:02:05,789 --> 01:02:08,781
Bravo. Bravo!
1480
01:02:08,892 --> 01:02:09,881
Oh, encore!
1481
01:02:09,960 --> 01:02:11,359
Just kidding!
1482
01:02:11,428 --> 01:02:12,725
It's done!
1483
01:02:12,796 --> 01:02:16,129
-We are done!
[barking]
1484
01:02:16,233 --> 01:02:18,531
Wait, what are you-- [exclaims]
Oh, my God.
1485
01:02:18,602 --> 01:02:21,469
[exclaiming, groans]
1486
01:02:21,571 --> 01:02:23,038
Charge!
1487
01:02:23,106 --> 01:02:25,040
[dogs whooping, barking]
1488
01:02:25,108 --> 01:02:26,700
[sobbing]
1489
01:02:30,880 --> 01:02:32,609
[continues sobbing]
1490
01:02:35,218 --> 01:02:36,412
[dogs clamoring]
-Ah, we did it!
1491
01:02:36,486 --> 01:02:38,215
I can't believe we shit that much!
1492
01:02:38,288 --> 01:02:39,949
Hunter's dick! Hunter's dick!
1493
01:02:40,056 --> 01:02:41,887
The hell with ya!
1494
01:02:41,958 --> 01:02:43,949
[panting]
1495
01:02:48,231 --> 01:02:49,630
[chuckles]
1496
01:02:51,268 --> 01:02:53,236
Thanks for your patience, folks.
Really.
1497
01:02:54,271 --> 01:02:55,295
[chuckles]
1498
01:02:55,405 --> 01:02:58,670
Ooh. I'm sorry, Diane. Uh...
1499
01:02:59,976 --> 01:03:02,740
[laughs]
"Then poop with me to freedom!“
1500
01:03:02,812 --> 01:03:04,677
-So cheesy, but I loved it.
[Hunter laughs]
1501
01:03:04,781 --> 01:03:06,476
What a plan.
What a speech, Reg.
1502
01:03:06,583 --> 01:03:08,915
Actually, Reginald,
I preferred the first speech.
1503
01:03:08,985 --> 01:03:11,647
You know, the one where
you convinced all of us to do this,
1504
01:03:11,755 --> 01:03:14,622
back when you were focused
on biting Doug's dick off.
1505
01:03:14,691 --> 01:03:16,488
[Maggie] Bug.
-Okay, okay, Bug. Look.
1506
01:03:17,427 --> 01:03:19,952
Oh! Look! The devil in the sky!
1507
01:03:20,030 --> 01:03:22,157
-We made it!
-Look at that fucking guy!
1508
01:03:22,265 --> 01:03:24,961
[Hunter] Burn in hell,
you motherfucking son of a bitch.
1509
01:03:25,035 --> 01:03:27,697
-I hate everything about him.
-The dumb-ass smile, those shitty pants.
1510
01:03:27,804 --> 01:03:29,829
I want to rip your nuts off
and make you watch!
1511
01:03:29,939 --> 01:03:31,497
Stupid hat and your stupid truck,
1512
01:03:31,608 --> 01:03:34,008
with the door on the other side
of the thing.
1513
01:03:34,110 --> 01:03:36,169
-I hate his face, personality.
[Reggie] I wanna rip him a new asshole.
1514
01:03:36,279 --> 01:03:37,439
[Bug] I hate his bag, his shirt...
1515
01:03:37,514 --> 01:03:39,311
[Hunter] He smells like
a thousand different houses,
1516
01:03:39,382 --> 01:03:40,940
and I can't trust that!
1517
01:03:42,285 --> 01:03:44,480
Anyways, good job, guys.
The final landmark.
1518
01:03:44,554 --> 01:03:46,146
-Yeah. That's right.
-And right on schedule.
1519
01:03:46,222 --> 01:03:48,782
Yeah, barely. You remember
which way to go from here?
1520
01:03:48,858 --> 01:03:52,487
Uh, yeah, wejust--
we just stay on this road for now.
1521
01:03:52,562 --> 01:03:53,995
-Good, let's move.
-All right.
1522
01:03:54,064 --> 01:03:55,793
[Maggie] Great.
-W-Wait, wait, wait.
1523
01:03:55,865 --> 01:03:57,162
One second. Can't leave yet.
1524
01:03:57,233 --> 01:03:58,325
-Huh?
-What's up, Reg?
1525
01:03:58,902 --> 01:04:00,995
Where is it? Oh, there.
1526
01:04:03,206 --> 01:04:04,901
All right. Let's go, guys.
1527
01:04:05,008 --> 01:04:06,908
No, no, no. Hold on a second.
1528
01:04:07,010 --> 01:04:09,638
Why couldn't you leave
without the ball, Reggie?
1529
01:04:09,713 --> 01:04:11,738
I don't know, ljust like tennis balls.
1530
01:04:11,848 --> 01:04:14,078
I know ball guys. You're not a ball guy.
1531
01:04:14,184 --> 01:04:16,209
Well, you don't know everything about me.
1532
01:04:16,319 --> 01:04:19,015
Well, I'm learning a little more
right now.
1533
01:04:19,089 --> 01:04:20,420
Drop the ball, Reg.
1534
01:04:20,523 --> 01:04:22,013
What? No.
1535
01:04:22,092 --> 01:04:24,083
Drop the fucking ball.
1536
01:04:24,194 --> 01:04:26,924
-Leave it!
-I'm not gonna leave the ball!
1537
01:04:27,030 --> 01:04:28,258
-Drop the ball!
-No.
1538
01:04:28,365 --> 01:04:29,559
Reggie, you drop that goddamn ball!
1539
01:04:29,666 --> 01:04:31,156
-No.
-You don't even like balls!
1540
01:04:31,234 --> 01:04:32,826
Doug likes balls!
1541
01:04:32,902 --> 01:04:34,233
-Doug?
[Maggie gasps]
1542
01:04:34,337 --> 01:04:35,497
[Hunter] Oh, Reg.
1543
01:04:35,572 --> 01:04:37,233
I don't know why, but he does.
1544
01:04:37,340 --> 01:04:39,331
And when we play the game,
"Fetch and Fuck,"
1545
01:04:39,409 --> 01:04:42,401
it always ends when I come home
and bring him back a ball.
1546
01:04:42,512 --> 01:04:45,106
So I know he's expecting it,
and I'm not gonna let him down.
1547
01:04:45,215 --> 01:04:46,204
Goddamn it.
1548
01:04:46,282 --> 01:04:49,945
So when you told me you didn't know
how you were gonna bite Doug in the dick,
1549
01:04:50,053 --> 01:04:52,385
the real reason you don't know is because...
1550
01:04:52,455 --> 01:04:54,582
-You‘re not gonna bite Doug in the dick.
[sighs]
1551
01:04:54,691 --> 01:04:58,422
Look, when we first set out,
I was totally into the plan.
1552
01:04:58,528 --> 01:05:01,588
But the closer we got to Doug,
the more I realized
1553
01:05:02,365 --> 01:05:03,957
that I miss him.
1554
01:05:04,067 --> 01:05:06,900
-And I think he misses me, too.
-Reggie, don't do this.
1555
01:05:06,970 --> 01:05:08,904
You deserve so much better than him.
1556
01:05:08,972 --> 01:05:11,634
ldon't, Hunter. I really don't.
1557
01:05:11,741 --> 01:05:13,299
You know why Doug abandoned me?
1558
01:05:13,410 --> 01:05:15,776
Because I was the problem
in our relationship.
1559
01:05:15,879 --> 01:05:17,141
I ate his shoes.
1560
01:05:17,247 --> 01:05:20,273
I woke him up so early every day
because I needed to pee.
1561
01:05:20,383 --> 01:05:21,907
And I pooped on the rug.
1562
01:05:21,985 --> 01:05:23,919
We've all pooped on the rug, Reggie.
1563
01:05:23,987 --> 01:05:26,649
Did you roll in it, Maggie?
Did you roll in the poop?
1564
01:05:26,756 --> 01:05:28,917
Because guess what, I rolled in the poop.
1565
01:05:28,992 --> 01:05:30,391
Okay, that's not great.
1566
01:05:30,460 --> 01:05:32,826
God, I can't believe it took me this long
to realize this,
1567
01:05:32,929 --> 01:05:36,797
that every time he called me a bad dog,
he was absolutely right.
1568
01:05:36,900 --> 01:05:38,834
-It was all my fault.
-Wow.
1569
01:05:38,935 --> 01:05:40,960
[Reggie] Well,
I'm not gonna be a bad dog anymore.
1570
01:05:41,070 --> 01:05:42,560
It's time for me to be a good boy.
1571
01:05:42,639 --> 01:05:46,769
Jesus, I cannot believe
that I risked my life for this asshole
1572
01:05:46,843 --> 01:05:49,607
just so he could go back
and get with another asshole.
1573
01:05:49,679 --> 01:05:52,170
I did all of this for you, Reggie.
1574
01:05:52,282 --> 01:05:53,579
You didn't do this for me.
1575
01:05:53,650 --> 01:05:55,845
You said it yourself.
This isn't about Doug.
1576
01:05:55,952 --> 01:05:59,649
This is about every single one of them
who treated us like shit.
1577
01:05:59,756 --> 01:06:01,781
-This is about Emma!
-Reggie.
1578
01:06:01,858 --> 01:06:02,847
Fuck you.
1579
01:06:02,959 --> 01:06:05,154
Hey. How about rule number three, Bug?
1580
01:06:05,261 --> 01:06:07,593
You're on your own?
Well, then what were we?
1581
01:06:07,664 --> 01:06:09,461
-Wow.
-I don't think you want to be a stray.
1582
01:06:09,532 --> 01:06:12,262
-I think you're sad and lonely.
-Can you believe this fucking guy?
1583
01:06:12,335 --> 01:06:14,428
And I think the only reason
you claim to hate humans
1584
01:06:14,504 --> 01:06:17,530
is because if you ever stopped
to think about what happened,
1585
01:06:17,640 --> 01:06:20,507
you'd realize that Emma didn't fuck it up.
1586
01:06:20,610 --> 01:06:22,475
-You did.
-Get the fuck away from me.
1587
01:06:22,545 --> 01:06:24,672
Believe me,
I fucked up with my owner, too.
1588
01:06:24,781 --> 01:06:27,443
So thank you for helping me realize
I was the problem.
1589
01:06:27,517 --> 01:06:32,147
Only difference is I have a chance
to fix it and not end up like you.
1590
01:06:32,222 --> 01:06:34,486
[growls grunts]
1591
01:06:34,557 --> 01:06:36,821
-Hey, hey. What are you doing?
-Guys, stop it! Guys!
1592
01:06:36,893 --> 01:06:38,520
[Hunter] Come on!
[Bug] Give me this thing!
1593
01:06:38,628 --> 01:06:39,720
-Give it back!
-Bug!
1594
01:06:39,829 --> 01:06:41,524
[Reggie] Doug gave me that!
Give that back!
1595
01:06:41,631 --> 01:06:42,859
-I know he did!
-No!
1596
01:06:42,966 --> 01:06:45,298
[Hunter] Stop it! Stop!
[Maggie] Bug, don't do that.
1597
01:06:45,368 --> 01:06:47,495
That's what I think about you
and your owner.
1598
01:06:47,570 --> 01:06:49,504
Go fuck yourself, Reggie.
1599
01:06:49,572 --> 01:06:51,039
You two deserve each other.
1600
01:06:59,716 --> 01:07:01,877
-Reggie, don't do this!
-Reg.
1601
01:07:01,985 --> 01:07:03,816
I hope he's already left without you!
1602
01:07:09,392 --> 01:07:10,381
Man.
1603
01:07:11,427 --> 01:07:13,918
I really thought my dick
was gonna hook those keys.
1604
01:07:15,198 --> 01:07:18,190
Um,
but this is also a bummer.
1605
01:07:27,944 --> 01:07:29,502
Bug, we can't go back.
1606
01:07:29,579 --> 01:07:33,106
Sure we can. The devil in the sky.
Cone. Hamster wheel.
1607
01:07:33,216 --> 01:07:35,207
Just in the opposite order of how we came.
1608
01:07:35,285 --> 01:07:36,582
No dead bunnies this time.
1609
01:07:36,686 --> 01:07:38,711
Bug, she means
we can't leave him like this.
1610
01:07:38,788 --> 01:07:42,087
First off, Hunter, we didn't leave him.
He left us.
1611
01:07:42,191 --> 01:07:45,627
Second, we don't know the rest of the way
back to Doug's place, anyway.
1612
01:07:45,728 --> 01:07:47,923
And third,
I'm not just gonna hang around here
1613
01:07:48,031 --> 01:07:51,626
and let some dickless bird
swoop in on my girlfriend while I'm gone.
1614
01:07:51,734 --> 01:07:52,962
What?
1615
01:07:53,069 --> 01:07:55,401
Look, if there's one thing
that the asshole got right,
1616
01:07:55,471 --> 01:07:58,702
is that I have been wasting my time
with you guys.
1617
01:07:58,775 --> 01:08:01,243
I'm a stray,
and I should start acting like one.
1618
01:08:01,311 --> 01:08:03,973
-Wait, where are you going?
-I don't know. To go do some "nunya.“
1619
01:08:04,080 --> 01:08:05,274
What's "nunya"?
1620
01:08:05,381 --> 01:08:06,643
Nunya fucking business.
1621
01:08:06,749 --> 01:08:08,740
Oh, yeah. I walked right into that one.
1622
01:08:08,818 --> 01:08:11,753
[sighs] Let's go home, Hunter.
[Hunter sighs]
1623
01:08:14,891 --> 01:08:16,916
Talking about I'm lonely.
Talking about I'm scared.
1624
01:08:16,993 --> 01:08:19,154
Fuck does he think he's talking about?
1625
01:08:19,262 --> 01:08:21,059
I'm gonna tell you right now,
I ain't lonely
1626
01:08:21,130 --> 01:08:22,893
and I damn sure ain't scared.
{gasps}
1627
01:08:22,966 --> 01:08:23,955
Fuck you, leaf!
1628
01:08:24,067 --> 01:08:25,967
[scoffs] End up like me?
1629
01:08:26,069 --> 01:08:28,469
I pissed on two cars
and three houses last week.
1630
01:08:28,571 --> 01:08:31,563
That's right, I'm a three-year—old dog
and I'm already a homeowner.
1631
01:08:31,641 --> 01:08:34,769
I'm living the motherfucking dream.
And I'm not scared to be alone.
1632
01:08:34,844 --> 01:08:36,835
Matter of fact,
I ain't scared of anything.
1633
01:08:36,946 --> 01:08:38,174
[twig snaps]
1634
01:08:38,281 --> 01:08:39,179
Who's that?
1635
01:08:40,116 --> 01:08:41,845
Don't come closer! I-I, uh...
1636
01:08:41,951 --> 01:08:43,441
I'm crazy! I fuck trash!
1637
01:08:45,688 --> 01:08:47,121
[growling]
1638
01:08:49,692 --> 01:08:51,023
[growling]
1639
01:08:55,832 --> 01:08:56,696
[barking]
1640
01:08:59,302 --> 01:09:02,362
Nope, not doing this.
Just walk away, Bug.
1641
01:09:02,472 --> 01:09:05,441
Little girls like Emma suck
and you know it.
1642
01:09:05,508 --> 01:09:07,135
[whimpering]
1643
01:09:10,380 --> 01:09:11,642
[crying]
1644
01:09:11,714 --> 01:09:14,046
Don't listen to her, man.
Don't listen to her.
1645
01:09:14,150 --> 01:09:17,381
Another fucking narcissist
putting her needs above your own.
1646
01:09:17,487 --> 01:09:21,218
You've been down this fucking road before,
man, just-- just...
1647
01:09:21,324 --> 01:09:23,224
[sighs] Goddamn it.
1648
01:09:31,167 --> 01:09:32,725
Hey, there. [chuckles]
1649
01:09:32,835 --> 01:09:35,201
What are you doing
out here all alone?
1650
01:09:36,172 --> 01:09:37,833
Did you get lost like me?
1651
01:09:37,907 --> 01:09:38,896
It's gonna be okay.
1652
01:09:39,008 --> 01:09:41,533
Holy shit. Wait! You're the girl
that everyone's looking for.
1653
01:09:41,644 --> 01:09:42,736
Holy shit!
1654
01:09:43,546 --> 01:09:45,480
I found her. I found her!
1655
01:09:45,548 --> 01:09:46,742
Somebody, please help!
1656
01:09:46,849 --> 01:09:48,908
-I found the girl!
-That‘s Bug!
1657
01:09:49,018 --> 01:09:50,485
Bug, where are you?
1658
01:09:50,553 --> 01:09:51,645
Let's go!
1659
01:09:55,391 --> 01:09:56,358
Isee him!
1660
01:09:56,426 --> 01:09:57,552
[barks]
1661
01:09:57,660 --> 01:09:59,252
I can't believe you found the girl.
1662
01:09:59,362 --> 01:10:00,351
Oh, my God, Bug!
1663
01:10:00,430 --> 01:10:03,092
Come on, we gotta get her some help.
She's in bad shape.
1664
01:10:03,199 --> 01:10:05,997
[Maggie] Help! Over here!
[Hunter] Over here! We found her! Help!
1665
01:10:06,069 --> 01:10:07,730
-He|p!
-Ro|f! You dickhead!
1666
01:10:07,837 --> 01:10:09,327
-Help! Help!
-Come on! Help!
1667
01:10:09,405 --> 01:10:12,033
[Bug, Maggie, Hunter shouting in distance]
1668
01:10:14,043 --> 01:10:15,101
-Over here!
-Help!
1669
01:10:15,211 --> 01:10:16,371
-Here they come.
[Hunter] Over here.
1670
01:10:16,446 --> 01:10:18,505
Munchkin, check the girl.
1671
01:10:18,581 --> 01:10:20,947
Hell of a job, Hunter,
and small dogs.
1672
01:10:21,050 --> 01:10:22,881
-Didn't know you had it in ya.
-Oh, my God.
1673
01:10:22,952 --> 01:10:25,182
Riley! Riley, here you are.
1674
01:10:25,254 --> 01:10:26,380
Good dog, good dog.
1675
01:10:26,456 --> 01:10:27,445
You're okay.
1676
01:10:27,557 --> 01:10:30,549
I'm not even gonna ask
how you ended up back in these woods.
1677
01:10:30,626 --> 01:10:31,786
All I'll ask is
1678
01:10:31,894 --> 01:10:33,691
how can I repay you?
1679
01:10:35,231 --> 01:10:37,131
You can help save my best friend.
1680
01:10:40,203 --> 01:10:42,137
Oh, what am I gonna say?
What am I gonna say?
1681
01:10:42,772 --> 01:10:44,706
Okay, I should probably rehearse this.
1682
01:10:45,541 --> 01:10:46,701
Hey, Doug.
1683
01:10:46,776 --> 01:10:47,936
[imitating Doug] "Hey, shitbag."
1684
01:10:48,044 --> 01:10:50,376
[normal] What've you been up to?
[imitating Doug] "Mostly masturbating.“
1685
01:10:50,446 --> 01:10:52,937
[normal] on. Cool, classic Doug.
1686
01:10:53,049 --> 01:10:54,983
So, I owe you an apology.
1687
01:10:55,084 --> 01:10:56,278
[imitating Doug] "Okay."
1688
01:10:56,385 --> 01:10:58,580
[normal] You were totally
right to ditch me in that alley.
1689
01:10:58,654 --> 01:11:00,246
I mean, I was terrible.
1690
01:11:00,323 --> 01:11:01,585
[imitating Doug] “Agreed.“
1691
01:11:01,657 --> 01:11:06,458
[normal] But I was wondering if we could
maybe make some changes when I'm back?
1692
01:11:06,562 --> 01:11:08,723
Like, maybe we could do walks now,
1693
01:11:08,798 --> 01:11:11,562
and possibly increase pee breaks
to twice a day?
1694
01:11:11,634 --> 01:11:14,125
And maybe, if you feel like it,
1695
01:11:14,237 --> 01:11:16,637
you could call me a good boy
even! once in a while?
1696
01:11:21,611 --> 01:11:23,408
Ugh. This is stupid.
1697
01:11:27,617 --> 01:11:30,484
What do you mean you can't track him down?
You're sniff dogs. That's what you do.
1698
01:11:30,586 --> 01:11:32,315
Yeah, come on, Rolf.
They taught us that.
1699
01:11:32,421 --> 01:11:35,515
It's impossible. We can't track him
without knowing his scent first.
1700
01:11:35,625 --> 01:11:37,320
Did you get any whiff of him yesterday,
Munchkin?
1701
01:11:37,426 --> 01:11:39,155
-Nothing I can recall, sir.
[Maggie] Wait!
1702
01:11:39,262 --> 01:11:40,923
-The bandana!
-Come again?
1703
01:11:40,997 --> 01:11:43,363
We can get his scent from the bandana.
Let's go! Let's go!
1704
01:11:43,466 --> 01:11:44,455
Nice, Maggie.
1705
01:11:44,534 --> 01:11:45,660
Rolf?
1706
01:11:45,768 --> 01:11:46,757
Hey, Rolf!
1707
01:11:46,836 --> 01:11:49,430
[Maggie] There it is!
[Hunter] There! There it is! There it is!
1708
01:11:50,973 --> 01:11:52,133
Way to go, Maggie.
1709
01:11:52,875 --> 01:11:55,810
Halt! Good God, what's that smell?
1710
01:11:55,878 --> 01:11:57,311
Can you smell Reggie off that thing?
1711
01:11:57,380 --> 01:11:58,312
[sniffs]
1712
01:11:58,381 --> 01:12:01,111
I'm not getting any dog off of this, sir.
Just a lot of urine.
1713
01:12:01,184 --> 01:12:02,549
[Bug] Oh, huh. Oh, wow.
[Maggie] Huh.
1714
01:12:02,652 --> 01:12:04,279
-That's weird.
[Hunter] It was Bug.
1715
01:12:04,353 --> 01:12:07,845
And from the stain patterns, I can tell
this was a very small pee stream,
1716
01:12:07,957 --> 01:12:10,892
indicative of a dog with an. .. [chuckles]
...unbelievably tiny penis.
1717
01:12:10,993 --> 01:12:13,052
-Again, Bug.
-It ain't indicative of shit.
1718
01:12:13,162 --> 01:12:15,528
If anything,
it is indicative of a well-shaped,
1719
01:12:15,631 --> 01:12:18,464
sensual penis
that transcends dick size.
1720
01:12:18,534 --> 01:12:20,798
Lots of TDU:
Tiny Dick Urine over here.
1721
01:12:20,870 --> 01:12:23,737
It would take a miracle to pick up
any dog scent off of that thing.
1722
01:12:23,840 --> 01:12:25,705
There you are.
What's gotten into you guys?
1723
01:12:25,808 --> 01:12:27,469
[sniffing]
[Rolf] Fuck are you doing?
1724
01:12:27,543 --> 01:12:28,840
You'll taint the smell.
1725
01:12:28,911 --> 01:12:32,142
I'm doing yourjob.
Now back the fuck off, Adolf.
1726
01:12:32,215 --> 01:12:34,240
-Adolf?
-It's 'cause you're a German Sh--
1727
01:12:34,350 --> 01:12:36,477
-Oh, whatever.
-I get it now. Hitler reference.
1728
01:12:36,552 --> 01:12:37,814
[sniffing]
1729
01:12:37,887 --> 01:12:39,752
Go, Maggie! Go, Maggie!
1730
01:12:43,726 --> 01:12:44,920
I'm picking up...
1731
01:12:45,027 --> 01:12:47,495
Bitches of the night. Pizza. Vomit pizza?
1732
01:12:47,563 --> 01:12:49,190
Hot dogs. All of our pee.
1733
01:12:49,265 --> 01:12:51,199
Eagle feathers. Dennis Qua/d?
1734
01:12:51,267 --> 01:12:53,235
Squirrel sex.
Dead bunnies that I know nothing about.
1735
01:12:53,336 --> 01:12:54,769
Huntefs boner Ooh, lots of shit
1736
01:12:54,871 --> 01:12:57,032
A tiny Boston Terrier dick and. . .
1737
01:12:57,106 --> 01:12:58,835
Reggie! I got him!
1738
01:12:58,908 --> 01:13:00,398
-Yes, Maggie!
-Let's move!
1739
01:13:00,509 --> 01:13:02,500
[Hunter] Come on, let's go!
Thanks, Rolf!
1740
01:13:02,578 --> 01:13:04,739
Except for when you fucked us over.
1741
01:13:04,847 --> 01:13:06,041
Good luck, soldiers!
1742
01:13:06,115 --> 01:13:08,413
And sorry I'm such a fucking asshole!
1743
01:13:08,517 --> 01:13:10,178
I should really work on myself.
1744
01:13:37,480 --> 01:13:38,811
[door creaks]
1745
01:14:02,672 --> 01:14:04,503
[Doug] 0h, thanks for
shitting on the carpet!
1746
01:14:04,607 --> 01:14:06,837
The fuck are you thinking? Huh?
1747
01:14:06,943 --> 01:14:09,969
Oh, you're such a stupid
little piece of shit.
1748
01:14:18,587 --> 01:14:20,851
Can you just lea ve me the fuck alone?
1749
01:14:21,490 --> 01:14:23,082
Bad dog!
1750
01:14:27,596 --> 01:14:29,826
[Reggie barking]
[Doug imitating barking]
1751
01:14:29,932 --> 01:14:32,662
[Doug] That’s what you fucking
sound like, you piece of shit.
1752
01:14:59,962 --> 01:15:02,863
Okay, one last shit on the carpet,
and then I'm out.
1753
01:15:02,965 --> 01:15:04,557
[door creaking]
1754
01:15:15,978 --> 01:15:17,002
[Doug] Mmm.
1755
01:15:23,652 --> 01:15:24,550
Hey, Doug.
1756
01:15:25,921 --> 01:15:27,183
Fuck!
1757
01:15:27,256 --> 01:15:29,315
It's me, Reggie.
1758
01:15:29,392 --> 01:15:32,589
A-And look, I-I know you can't understand
what I'm saying right now.
1759
01:15:32,695 --> 01:15:34,720
No, no, no, this is not happening.
1760
01:15:34,830 --> 01:15:36,695
But I just wanna say how I feel.
1761
01:15:37,500 --> 01:15:39,525
I know you didn't like me.
1762
01:15:39,602 --> 01:15:41,331
I mean, obviously.
1763
01:15:41,404 --> 01:15:43,031
You abandoned me in the street.
1764
01:15:43,706 --> 01:15:48,166
Butjust know that I did everything
I could to make you feel loved.
1765
01:15:48,244 --> 01:15:53,511
And I thought if I loved you enough,
then maybe you would love me back.
1766
01:15:54,884 --> 01:15:56,681
But then I met new friends.
1767
01:15:56,752 --> 01:16:01,121
I met the sweetest big dog,
with just the nicest dick.
1768
01:16:01,223 --> 01:16:04,124
The most talented, baddest bitch
in the world,
1769
01:16:04,226 --> 01:16:06,592
and the tiniest, scrappiest,
1770
01:16:06,695 --> 01:16:10,426
funniest best friend I could ever ask for.
1771
01:16:10,533 --> 01:16:14,867
Oh, and I met my son too, who's a gnome,
and we had sex, but whatever.
1772
01:16:15,438 --> 01:16:20,535
The point is, those friends showed me
what real love feels like.
1773
01:16:20,609 --> 01:16:23,077
And it's nothing like what we had.
1774
01:16:23,145 --> 01:16:26,410
Now I know that I wasn't a bad dog.
1775
01:16:26,482 --> 01:16:29,542
You were a bad man.
1776
01:16:29,618 --> 01:16:31,643
Bad man! Bad man!
1777
01:16:31,754 --> 01:16:32,812
[barking]
1778
01:16:32,922 --> 01:16:34,150
[sighs]
1779
01:16:35,925 --> 01:16:37,620
Goodbye, Doug.
1780
01:16:37,726 --> 01:16:39,125
And fuck you.
1781
01:16:46,135 --> 01:16:51,163
Now what do I gotta do
to get you the fuck out of my life?
1782
01:16:51,273 --> 01:16:53,400
I mean, how do you not get it, man?
1783
01:16:53,476 --> 01:16:56,912
I drove you three hours away.
1784
01:16:56,979 --> 01:17:00,642
I mean, how could I make it any more clear
that I don't care about you?
1785
01:17:00,749 --> 01:17:02,808
I don't fucking love you.
1786
01:17:02,918 --> 01:17:04,647
Goodbye forever, shitbag.
1787
01:17:06,322 --> 01:17:09,780
Well, at least I found
someone who loved me.
1788
01:17:09,859 --> 01:17:11,622
Pee-FFs forever.
1789
01:17:11,694 --> 01:17:13,321
[barking]
1790
01:17:13,429 --> 01:17:14,657
[Hunter grunts]
1791
01:17:14,763 --> 01:17:16,492
[all] Pee-FFs forever!
1792
01:17:16,599 --> 01:17:20,194
The fuck? Who the hell are these dogs?
1793
01:17:20,302 --> 01:17:22,770
Jesus Christ,
it's like a fucking dog movie in here.
1794
01:17:22,838 --> 01:17:25,204
[growling]
1795
01:17:25,307 --> 01:17:26,501
Oh, yeah?
1796
01:17:26,609 --> 01:17:29,271
The fuck are you gonna do about it,
cone boy?
1797
01:17:39,321 --> 01:17:40,310
Oh, shit.
1798
01:17:40,389 --> 01:17:42,482
[growls, barks]
1799
01:17:44,360 --> 01:17:46,658
[snarling]
1800
01:17:46,729 --> 01:17:47,957
Reggie, are you okay?
1801
01:17:48,030 --> 01:17:49,861
Listen, Bug,
I-I'm so sorry for what I said. I--
1802
01:17:49,965 --> 01:17:50,989
Don't worry about that right now.
1803
01:17:51,066 --> 01:17:53,125
Yeah, we've got a dick to rip off.
1804
01:17:53,202 --> 01:17:55,067
[grunting]
[snarling]
1805
01:17:57,506 --> 01:17:59,167
Get the fuck off me!
1806
01:18:00,142 --> 01:18:02,235
Fuck. What the-- Get off me!
1807
01:18:02,344 --> 01:18:04,175
Let go! Goddamn it!
1808
01:18:04,246 --> 01:18:07,306
Ow! Fuck, my knee! Goddamn it!
1809
01:18:07,383 --> 01:18:09,681
[barks]
-Oh, you want some, huh?
1810
01:18:09,752 --> 01:18:11,083
[barking]
1811
01:18:12,988 --> 01:18:14,649
Oh, goddamn it!
1812
01:18:14,723 --> 01:18:17,157
You little fuckers
owe me a microwave.
1813
01:18:17,226 --> 01:18:18,989
[barking]
-Eat some foot!
1814
01:18:20,162 --> 01:18:22,221
Ah! My foot!
1815
01:18:22,331 --> 01:18:24,356
[panting]
1816
01:18:26,769 --> 01:18:27,827
Shitbag!
1817
01:18:30,839 --> 01:18:34,070
[grunting]
1818
01:18:35,077 --> 01:18:36,271
[screams]
1819
01:18:37,346 --> 01:18:39,405
Oh! Fuck, my back!
1820
01:18:39,515 --> 01:18:40,948
-Guys! We should get out of here.
[Doug] Fuck!
1821
01:18:41,617 --> 01:18:44,051
[Hunter] Reggie!
-Got you, you little shit!
1822
01:18:44,119 --> 01:18:48,180
Well, look at you.
You got yourself some friends?
1823
01:18:48,257 --> 01:18:50,885
Let me tell you furry fucks something.
1824
01:18:51,794 --> 01:18:55,252
Your little buddy here ruined my life.
1825
01:18:55,364 --> 01:18:58,731
Before him,
I had a fucking good thing going.
1826
01:18:58,801 --> 01:19:00,701
A roof over my head,
1827
01:19:00,769 --> 01:19:03,203
checks from my mom, two girlfriends.
1828
01:19:03,272 --> 01:19:06,708
Now I have no house, no girlfriends,
1829
01:19:06,775 --> 01:19:08,606
and I have to masturbate all day.
1830
01:19:09,211 --> 01:19:12,078
All right?
This dog turned me into a fucking loser.
1831
01:19:12,147 --> 01:19:13,637
Why's he talking so much?
1832
01:19:14,416 --> 01:19:17,613
You ever see the end of Marley & Mef! Huh?
1833
01:19:17,720 --> 01:19:20,245
Yeah, me neither. It's fucking boring.
1834
01:19:21,290 --> 01:19:24,657
But I do know
that the dog dies in the end.
1835
01:19:24,760 --> 01:19:25,749
[barking]
1836
01:19:25,828 --> 01:19:29,229
I'm gonna enjoy
squeezing the life out of you...
1837
01:19:29,298 --> 01:19:30,890
[Bug] Maggie, Hunter get in position.
-Got it.
1838
01:19:30,966 --> 01:19:32,797
[Hunter] Copy.
-...cause you squeezed the life out of me.
1839
01:19:33,902 --> 01:19:35,233
Wait, what's happening?
1840
01:19:35,304 --> 01:19:37,135
What are they doing
getting in a line like that?
1841
01:19:39,975 --> 01:19:43,172
[distorted] Fuck you!
1842
01:19:48,684 --> 01:19:51,517
["Wrecking Ball‘I playing]
1843
01:19:56,125 --> 01:19:58,423
A We clawed, we chained A
1844
01:19:58,494 --> 01:20:00,018
A Our hearts in vain A
1845
01:20:00,129 --> 01:20:03,587
A We jumped never asking whyA
1846
01:20:03,666 --> 01:20:08,103
A We kissed
I fell under your spell A
1847
01:20:08,170 --> 01:20:11,833
A A love no one could denyA
1848
01:20:12,508 --> 01:20:14,271
A Don’tyou eversay... A
1849
01:20:14,343 --> 01:20:17,141
Bad fucking dog!
1850
01:20:17,713 --> 01:20:20,011
You're goddamn right.
1851
01:20:20,816 --> 01:20:22,716
A I came in like a wrecking ball A
1852
01:20:22,818 --> 01:20:24,445
[distorted screaming]
1853
01:20:24,520 --> 01:20:28,456
A / never hit so hard in lo ve A
1854
01:20:28,524 --> 01:20:32,460
A All! wanted was to break your walls A
1855
01:20:32,528 --> 01:20:34,792
A All you ever did was A
1856
01:20:34,863 --> 01:20:36,330
A Wreck me A
1857
01:20:36,398 --> 01:20:38,491
[distorted screaming]
1858
01:20:38,567 --> 01:20:41,400
A You wreck me A
1859
01:20:41,503 --> 01:20:45,337
A I put you high up in the sky A
1860
01:20:45,407 --> 01:20:49,468
A And now you’re not coming down A
1861
01:20:49,545 --> 01:20:53,504
A it slowly tumed
You let me burn A
1862
01:20:53,582 --> 01:20:57,018
A And now we 're ashes on the groundA
1863
01:20:58,053 --> 01:21:02,149
A Don’t you eversay
I just walked away A
1864
01:21:02,224 --> 01:21:04,818
A / writ always want you A
1865
01:21:04,893 --> 01:21:08,693
A I came in like a wrecking ball A
1866
01:21:08,764 --> 01:21:12,222
A Yeah, / just closed my eyes and swung A
1867
01:21:12,334 --> 01:21:15,861
A Let? me crashing in a blazing fall A
1868
01:21:16,605 --> 01:21:21,201
A All you ever did was wreck me A
1869
01:21:21,276 --> 01:21:24,905
A Yeah, you, you wreck meA
1870
01:21:25,013 --> 01:21:28,176
[whimpering]
1871
01:21:28,250 --> 01:21:31,048
A / never meant to start a war A
1872
01:21:32,187 --> 01:21:35,281
A / just wanted you to let me in. .. A
1873
01:21:35,391 --> 01:21:38,019
Uh... Yeah, we should probably leave.
1874
01:21:38,093 --> 01:21:40,527
Oh, yeah? We gotta go right now?
I was kind of enjoying this.
1875
01:21:40,596 --> 01:21:42,120
A / guess lshould’ve let you win... A
1876
01:21:42,231 --> 01:21:45,291
[Bug] Yo, Reg, I gotta be honest with you.
I ain't think you was gonna do that shit.
1877
01:21:45,401 --> 01:21:46,629
[Maggie] You really committed to that.
1878
01:21:46,735 --> 01:21:48,293
[Hunter] More graphic
than I was expecting.
1879
01:21:48,404 --> 01:21:49,530
[Maggie] That was almost too far.
1880
01:21:49,605 --> 01:21:52,199
[Bug] You one-upped me for sure.
I mean, I bit a girl's ankle.
1881
01:21:52,274 --> 01:21:54,606
You ripped a man‘s penis off.
1882
01:22:04,653 --> 01:22:06,780
[“Follow You" playing]
1883
01:22:10,159 --> 01:22:12,957
[Reggie]
Today is gonna be the best day ever.
1884
01:22:13,729 --> 01:22:17,631
How do i know that?
Because e very day is the best day ever.
1885
01:22:17,733 --> 01:22:21,169
Hunter went back to his job
at the old human home.
1886
01:22:21,270 --> 01:22:22,828
And he didn’t even need his cone.
1887
01:22:22,938 --> 01:22:25,805
Hey, Cone of Shame!
Where's your lampshade? [laughs]
1888
01:22:25,908 --> 01:22:28,240
Actually, Bubsy,
I don't need that cone anymore,
1889
01:22:28,310 --> 01:22:30,608
just like I don't need
any of your shit anymore.
1890
01:22:30,679 --> 01:22:32,271
-Fuck you, Bubsy!
-Wow.
1891
01:22:32,347 --> 01:22:34,975
I had no idea you felt that way.
I'm sorry.
1892
01:22:35,083 --> 01:22:36,072
I-I‘m just gonna go...
1893
01:22:37,186 --> 01:22:39,017
fuck your mother! [laughs]
1894
01:22:39,121 --> 01:22:40,145
Fuck outta here!
1895
01:22:40,255 --> 01:22:43,782
[Reggie] And he finally found the courage
to let Maggie know how he feels about her.
1896
01:22:43,859 --> 01:22:45,986
And now they ha ve sex all the time!
1897
01:22:46,094 --> 01:22:47,789
Regular style, of course.
1898
01:22:47,863 --> 01:22:49,524
Attaboy, Hunter.
1899
01:22:50,332 --> 01:22:52,027
Reminds me of when I was young.
1900
01:22:53,368 --> 01:22:55,131
You used to fuck dogs?
1901
01:22:55,938 --> 01:22:56,927
What?
1902
01:22:57,506 --> 01:23:00,873
[Reggie] And Maggie, well,
she finally got the owner she deserves.
1903
01:23:01,477 --> 01:23:03,945
Maggie’s part of the detection squad now.
1904
01:23:04,012 --> 01:23:06,003
Arid she is the best sniffer on the team.
1905
01:23:06,114 --> 01:23:08,480
I love the costume you gave her.
1906
01:23:08,550 --> 01:23:11,519
-So good.
-Uniform, for work.
1907
01:23:11,620 --> 01:23:13,850
[Reggie] And Bug’s the same old Bug,
1908
01:23:13,956 --> 01:23:16,117
with one pretty big exception.
1909
01:23:16,191 --> 01:23:18,216
He’s changed his stance on people.
1910
01:23:18,327 --> 01:23:19,453
[Riley laughing]
1911
01:23:19,528 --> 01:23:22,463
[Reggie]
Or at least, one very special person.
1912
01:23:22,531 --> 01:23:25,227
[Bug barking]
[Riley laughing]
1913
01:23:25,334 --> 01:23:27,734
A And /’/I show you how to love A
1914
01:23:28,737 --> 01:23:30,170
A To loveA
1915
01:23:30,239 --> 01:23:33,868
[Reggie] Sure, joining a family was
a bit of a teaming experience for him.
1916
01:23:37,246 --> 01:23:38,907
Oh, baby, I love this.
1917
01:23:39,014 --> 01:23:41,244
Your cushions are so much tighter
than Dolores‘s.
1918
01:23:41,350 --> 01:23:43,341
And what is this fabric, faux suede?
1919
01:23:44,887 --> 01:23:46,752
-Hey.
-Oh, hey, Kevin.
1920
01:23:47,689 --> 01:23:49,850
Come on, buddy. No humping the couch.
1921
01:23:51,493 --> 01:23:53,893
Nothing will ever come between us.
1922
01:23:55,097 --> 01:23:57,497
Yep, life is pretty damn great
1923
01:23:58,166 --> 01:23:59,565
So we'll see you guys tonight?
1924
01:23:59,668 --> 01:24:01,363
-Yes! Scraps night.
-You know it! Scraps night!
1925
01:24:05,274 --> 01:24:08,334
[Reggie]
As for me, / chose to stay a stray
1926
01:24:08,410 --> 01:24:10,275
And / couldn't be happier.
1927
01:24:10,779 --> 01:24:14,579
And for any dogs in need,
ill be there to show them the ropes.
1928
01:24:15,284 --> 01:24:17,115
Hey, there. I'm Reggie. You got a name?
1929
01:24:17,219 --> 01:24:19,585
Oh, hi. I'm~ I'm Shitstain.
1930
01:24:19,688 --> 01:24:22,213
No, no, no. That's not your name.
Trust me.
1931
01:24:23,258 --> 01:24:27,695
Rule number one of being a stray:
You want something, you pee on it.
1932
01:24:27,763 --> 01:24:29,788
And whatever you pee on is yours.
1933
01:24:29,898 --> 01:24:32,526
-Oh. How 'bout this lamppost?
-That's mine.
1934
01:24:32,601 --> 01:24:34,034
Oh. Okay.
1935
01:24:34,102 --> 01:24:36,764
Rule number two: You can pretty much
hump whatever you want.
1936
01:24:36,872 --> 01:24:38,703
-Cool!
Awesome!
1937
01:24:38,774 --> 01:24:42,870
Rule number three
is the most important rule, bar none.
1938
01:24:43,812 --> 01:24:45,939
You are not alone.
1939
01:24:47,616 --> 01:24:50,608
[Reggie] You know, lused to think
my place was by Doug ’s side.
1940
01:24:50,719 --> 01:24:53,279
But now I know my place is wherever
i want it to be.
1941
01:24:53,388 --> 01:24:56,255
Arid l’ve never felt more at home.
1942
01:24:56,792 --> 01:25:00,387
’Cause lknow a guy
who lets me crash whenever! want.
1943
01:25:00,996 --> 01:25:02,657
-Hey, loser.
-Hey, fuck face.
1944
01:25:04,499 --> 01:25:06,228
[Riley giggling]
1945
01:25:06,301 --> 01:25:08,132
Liam, the cute scruffy dog is back!
1946
01:25:10,472 --> 01:25:12,064
[laughter]
1947
01:25:12,808 --> 01:25:13,900
[barks]
1948
01:25:14,977 --> 01:25:16,808
Isn't this the life?
1949
01:25:16,912 --> 01:25:18,174
[sighs]
1950
01:25:18,780 --> 01:25:20,577
[Liam] Who's a good boy?
1951
01:25:20,649 --> 01:25:21,980
You're a good boy.
1952
01:25:22,918 --> 01:25:24,579
Such a good boy.
1953
01:25:25,187 --> 01:25:27,451
[Reggie] l’ve teamed a lot since Doug
1954
01:25:27,522 --> 01:25:29,683
Sure, there’s some bad people
in this world,
1955
01:25:33,495 --> 01:25:36,020
You just gotta keep your eyes open.
1956
01:25:36,131 --> 01:25:37,655
Hey, kids!
1957
01:25:37,766 --> 01:25:39,666
[Bug] I'll rip your lungs out.
[Reggie] Fuck you, mailman!
1958
01:25:39,768 --> 01:25:41,429
These guys have a lot of energy,
don't they?
1959
01:25:41,503 --> 01:25:44,097
-I'm gonna eat yourfucking nut sack.
-Get out of here, you evil little shit!
1960
01:25:44,172 --> 01:25:47,164
-l'll give you to the count of three...
-You stupid fucking evil devil!
1961
01:25:47,275 --> 01:25:49,607
...and then I'm gonna jump this fence
and skull-fuck you to death!
1962
01:25:49,678 --> 01:25:51,612
[Reggie] You're just as bad
as your friend in the sky!
1963
01:25:51,680 --> 01:25:54,945
[Bug] Yeah, yeah, you smart! You smart!
[Reggie] You fuckwad! Go! Go! Go!
1964
01:25:55,017 --> 01:25:56,279
[Bug] Keep walking! Keep walking!
1965
01:25:56,351 --> 01:25:58,285
[Reggie] Don't even think about
coming back here tomorrow!
1966
01:25:58,353 --> 01:25:59,342
Fuck off!
1967
01:25:59,454 --> 01:26:01,388
[Bug] Yeah, bitch. You don't want to
get this guy angry.
1968
01:26:01,490 --> 01:26:05,358
[Reggie] I may be small,
but you have no idea what I'm capable of!
1969
01:26:06,161 --> 01:26:07,560
Just ask Doug!
1970
01:26:08,463 --> 01:26:11,125
I ripped the guy's cock off!
1971
01:26:11,400 --> 01:26:13,800
A This is for the 62
And this is for the hustlas A
1972
01:26:13,869 --> 01:26:16,303
A This is for the bust/as
Nowback to the GzA
1973
01:26:16,371 --> 01:26:19,135
A This is for the 62
And this is for the hustlas A
1974
01:26:19,207 --> 01:26:21,732
A This is for the bust/as
Nowback to the GzA
1975
01:26:21,843 --> 01:26:24,038
A lt's l-9-9-tre
So let me just playA
1976
01:26:24,146 --> 01:26:25,477
A it’s Snoop Dogg, l'm on the mic A
1977
01:26:25,547 --> 01:26:27,208
-A l’m back with Dr Dre A
[eagle screeches]
1978
01:26:27,315 --> 01:26:29,374
A But this time l’rna hit
Yo’ass with a touch A
1979
01:26:32,220 --> 01:26:34,688
A So sit back, relax
New jacks get smacked A
1980
01:26:34,756 --> 01:26:37,156
A it’s Snoop Doggy Dogg
/m at the top of the stack A
1981
01:26:37,225 --> 01:26:39,989
A i don’t lack for a second
And l’m still checkin’A
1982
01:26:40,062 --> 01:26:42,530
A The dopest motherfucker
That ya hearin'on the record A
1983
01:26:42,597 --> 01:26:44,656
A Its me, ya see, S-N-doub/e-O-PA
1984
01:26:44,733 --> 01:26:47,327
A D-O-double-G— Y, the D-O-doub/e-G A
1985
01:26:47,402 --> 01:26:50,030
A I’m fly as a falcon
Soan'n ' through the sky A
1986
01:26:50,105 --> 01:26:52,835
[eagle screeches]
-A And I’m high till I dizzie, n’zzide A
1987
01:26:52,908 --> 01:26:55,900
A So check it, i get busy
I make your head dizzy A
1988
01:26:56,011 --> 01:26:58,275
A l blow up your mouth
Like / was Dizzy Gillespie A
1989
01:26:58,380 --> 01:27:00,245
A /’rn crazy, you can’t phase me A
1990
01:27:00,348 --> 01:27:02,248
A /’m the S, oh, yes, l’m fresh A
1991
01:27:02,350 --> 01:27:03,510
A / dont fuck with the stress A
1992
01:27:03,585 --> 01:27:06,076
A l’m all about the chronic
Bionic, ya see A
1993
01:27:06,188 --> 01:27:09,214
A Every single day
Chillin’ with the D-OdoubleG’s A
1994
01:27:09,291 --> 01:27:11,521
A P-O-U-N-D, that’s my clique, my crew A
1995
01:27:11,593 --> 01:27:14,357
A You fuck with us
We gots to fuck you up A
1996
01:27:14,429 --> 01:27:16,192
A I thought you knew, but yet and still A
1997
01:27:16,264 --> 01:27:19,427
A You wanna get real
Now it’s time to peel, you say chill A
1998
01:27:19,534 --> 01:27:21,627
A And feel the motherfucki'n ’ realism A
1999
01:27:21,737 --> 01:27:23,034
A Snoop Doggy Dogg is on the mic A
2000
01:27:23,105 --> 01:27:24,572
A /m hittin’hard as steel A
2001
01:27:24,639 --> 01:27:27,631
A This is for the 62
And this is for the hustlas A
2002
01:27:27,743 --> 01:27:30,268
A This is for the bust/as
Nowback to the GzA
2003
01:27:30,378 --> 01:27:32,812
A This is for the 62
And this is for the hustlas A
2004
01:27:32,914 --> 01:27:35,439
A This is for the bust/as
Nowback to the GzA
2005
01:27:35,550 --> 01:27:38,110
A This is for the 62
And this is for the hustlas A
2006
01:27:38,220 --> 01:27:40,711
A This is for the bust/as
Nowback to the GzA
2007
01:27:40,789 --> 01:27:43,417
A This is for the 62
And this is for the hustlas A
2008
01:27:43,492 --> 01:27:45,892
A This is for the bust/as
Nowback to the GzA
2009
01:27:45,961 --> 01:27:47,292
[barking]
2010
01:27:51,566 --> 01:27:54,000
In addition
to the multiple facial lacerations
2011
01:27:54,102 --> 01:27:56,969
and the severe burn wounds,
2012
01:27:57,072 --> 01:28:02,408
we also discovered an alarming amount
of fecal bacteria in your system,
2013
01:28:02,477 --> 01:28:06,174
which, I would imagine came from
the-- the-- the...
2014
01:28:06,281 --> 01:28:09,341
-Dog shitting in my mouth? Yeah.
-Right. Yeah.
2015
01:28:09,451 --> 01:28:10,440
[sighs]
2016
01:28:11,119 --> 01:28:13,519
Um... Ba-ba-ba...
2017
01:28:13,622 --> 01:28:15,089
Checking the clipboard.
2018
01:28:15,157 --> 01:28:18,024
Oh, yeah. We also, uh,
couldn't reattach the penis.
2019
01:28:20,428 --> 01:28:23,420
[Doug] Fuck!
2020
01:28:23,498 --> 01:28:28,492
[beatboxing]
2021
01:28:37,879 --> 01:28:38,868
A Jamie A
2022
01:28:40,448 --> 01:28:41,642
A Jamie Foxx A
2023
01:28:43,185 --> 01:28:44,174
A Ill/ill Ferrell A
2024
01:28:45,053 --> 01:28:47,487
[barking rhythmically]
2025
01:28:49,457 --> 01:28:52,449
[beatboxing continues]
2026
01:28:58,366 --> 01:29:00,459
A Dirty, dirty dog A
2027
01:29:01,336 --> 01:29:02,735
A l’mastrayA
2028
01:29:03,738 --> 01:29:05,729
[barking rhythmically]
2029
01:29:11,880 --> 01:29:13,142
A Ouitdoggin’melA
2030
01:29:14,416 --> 01:29:17,214
A Quit doggin’me! Dogging me A
2031
01:29:17,319 --> 01:29:21,983
[beatboxing, barking rhythmically]
2032
01:29:22,057 --> 01:29:23,820
A l’mastrayA
157937
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