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1
00:00:12,187 --> 00:00:20,261
[music playing]
2
00:00:25,692 --> 00:00:27,910
[cheering]
3
00:02:00,606 --> 00:02:03,014
Where's the groom?
4
00:02:10,384 --> 00:02:12,319
What's, your name, honey?
5
00:02:13,363 --> 00:02:14,030
Cooper.
6
00:02:34,717 --> 00:02:36,390
Anybody got a quarter?
7
00:02:39,088 --> 00:02:40,087
Ya, somewhere.
8
00:02:40,112 --> 00:02:42,060
I got some quarters
for ya right here.
9
00:02:42,558 --> 00:02:43,526
Wait.
Wait.
10
00:02:43,760 --> 00:02:44,527
Wait.
Wait.
11
00:02:44,761 --> 00:02:45,661
Wait, I got more.
- Oh, I got more.
12
00:02:45,895 --> 00:02:46,562
I got--
13
00:02:46,796 --> 00:02:47,430
Yes.
14
00:02:47,663 --> 00:02:48,324
Yes, please.
15
00:02:48,349 --> 00:02:51,953
It's raining!
16
00:03:17,427 --> 00:03:21,184
[cheering]
17
00:03:44,920 --> 00:03:46,912
Explain to me Why
housekeeping isn't doing this?
18
00:03:47,279 --> 00:03:49,182
Because they don't
come until morning.
19
00:03:49,207 --> 00:03:50,761
And I'm not sleeping
in this mess.
20
00:03:51,479 --> 00:03:53,748
It's like a junkyard
in June in here.
21
00:03:56,265 --> 00:03:58,137
Damn, it's hotter than
a--
22
00:04:01,062 --> 00:04:01,617
help me out here.
23
00:04:02,585 --> 00:04:03,253
Satan's armpit.
24
00:04:03,806 --> 00:04:05,128
Uh, aluminum sweater.
25
00:04:05,585 --> 00:04:06,551
Pepper spray douche.
26
00:04:06,576 --> 00:04:07,299
Take your pick.
27
00:04:08,644 --> 00:04:09,025
Uh, yeah.
28
00:04:09,864 --> 00:04:11,114
Any of those will work fine.
29
00:04:11,139 --> 00:04:11,490
Thanks.
30
00:04:15,414 --> 00:04:16,314
You're staying here tonight?
31
00:04:17,153 --> 00:04:18,923
I thought you were
crashing at casa de Cooper.
32
00:04:19,617 --> 00:04:20,893
Well let's see.
33
00:04:21,231 --> 00:04:24,252
A tiny couch with your
family snoring nearby,
34
00:04:24,862 --> 00:04:26,880
or a plush, king size bed?
35
00:04:28,248 --> 00:04:29,454
Not a tough decision.
36
00:04:30,074 --> 00:04:31,304
Besides, it's paid for.
37
00:04:31,738 --> 00:04:35,345
And after planning this
unseeingly exhibition
38
00:04:35,370 --> 00:04:36,843
of bare boobery
39
00:04:37,648 --> 00:04:38,339
I think I'm entitled.
40
00:04:38,830 --> 00:04:39,497
I bet you are.
41
00:04:39,746 --> 00:04:40,547
And thanks, by the way.
42
00:04:40,572 --> 00:04:41,607
I had a good time.
43
00:04:45,026 --> 00:04:45,721
So
44
00:04:46,723 --> 00:04:47,250
tomorrow?
45
00:04:49,912 --> 00:04:52,688
Lewis, I'm really sorry
about the best man thing.
46
00:04:54,173 --> 00:04:54,945
It's OK.
47
00:04:55,504 --> 00:04:58,318
I mean, we've only been
buds since junior high,
48
00:04:58,343 --> 00:05:00,008
and you've known this
guy, what, a week now?
49
00:05:00,763 --> 00:05:01,439
OK.
OK.
50
00:05:01,464 --> 00:05:02,882
Sorry, sorry, sorry.
51
00:05:02,907 --> 00:05:04,743
But Belinda asked if her
brother could be best man.
52
00:05:04,768 --> 00:05:05,873
What was his name again?
53
00:05:05,898 --> 00:05:06,475
Tweaky?
54
00:05:06,500 --> 00:05:07,028
Twitchy?
55
00:05:07,209 --> 00:05:07,604
Ted.
56
00:05:08,510 --> 00:05:10,122
I noticed he
got really excited
57
00:05:10,147 --> 00:05:11,243
about the pattern
in the bathroom,
58
00:05:11,592 --> 00:05:12,974
until he realized it was talc.
59
00:05:13,649 --> 00:05:15,388
Still, I think
half of it's gone.
60
00:05:15,931 --> 00:05:16,960
I know, man, but--
61
00:05:16,985 --> 00:05:19,120
And hey, the stripper's
studying to be a therapist.
62
00:05:19,488 --> 00:05:20,751
We could have done
an intervention
63
00:05:20,776 --> 00:05:22,377
while she was picking
the quarter of your nose
64
00:05:22,402 --> 00:05:23,400
with her pussy.
65
00:05:24,792 --> 00:05:25,827
Listen, you.
66
00:05:25,975 --> 00:05:27,710
She's trying to integrate
him back into the family.
67
00:05:27,944 --> 00:05:29,278
Using your wedding?
68
00:05:29,496 --> 00:05:30,092
Yes.
69
00:05:30,475 --> 00:05:32,510
Did you even tell her who
you wanted to be best man?
70
00:05:33,104 --> 00:05:33,771
Well--
71
00:05:34,005 --> 00:05:34,939
That's what I thought.
72
00:05:35,227 --> 00:05:37,129
T-minus one day
and counting until
73
00:05:37,154 --> 00:05:38,709
complete vaginal submission.
74
00:05:40,103 --> 00:05:41,955
I promise I will
make it up to you.
75
00:05:43,451 --> 00:05:43,806
How?
76
00:05:44,297 --> 00:05:44,997
Name it.
77
00:05:48,685 --> 00:05:49,720
You better get off me.
78
00:05:50,345 --> 00:05:50,923
hmm
79
00:05:50,947 --> 00:05:52,228
I don't know.
80
00:05:52,253 --> 00:05:53,380
You're very comfortable.
81
00:05:56,175 --> 00:05:57,470
If you don't get off me
82
00:05:57,901 --> 00:05:59,029
I'm going to fart.
83
00:05:59,678 --> 00:06:01,325
And it is not going to be quiet.
84
00:06:01,403 --> 00:06:03,218
And it is not
going to be pretty.
85
00:06:03,956 --> 00:06:04,992
hmm...
86
00:06:05,017 --> 00:06:05,684
Go ahead.
87
00:06:05,823 --> 00:06:07,158
Serenade me.
88
00:06:07,183 --> 00:06:08,603
It's my last night
as a free man.
89
00:06:11,736 --> 00:06:12,527
uh
90
00:06:20,053 --> 00:06:20,787
It's kind of late.
91
00:06:21,075 --> 00:06:21,927
Can I stay here too?
92
00:06:22,392 --> 00:06:24,594
Uh, don't you want
to be with Belinda?
93
00:06:25,055 --> 00:06:26,082
Not befor the wedding.
94
00:06:26,155 --> 00:06:26,664
Bad luck.
95
00:06:26,689 --> 00:06:27,149
Remember?
96
00:06:27,542 --> 00:06:28,804
What, what about your tux?
97
00:06:28,829 --> 00:06:29,328
Ted has it.
98
00:06:29,628 --> 00:06:30,670
He can pick me up
in the morning.
99
00:06:30,953 --> 00:06:32,121
Yeah, if he can get
here without snorting
100
00:06:32,146 --> 00:06:34,698
all the carpet freshener
out of the hallway rugs.
101
00:06:36,909 --> 00:06:38,552
Why didn't you let the
stripper give you a lap dance?
102
00:06:41,573 --> 00:06:42,888
Uh, more beer?
103
00:06:43,051 --> 00:06:45,231
I stopped drinking
beer two hours ago.
104
00:06:46,267 --> 00:06:46,967
Tequila shots.
105
00:06:47,154 --> 00:06:48,455
Oh, hell no.
106
00:06:48,720 --> 00:06:50,640
You can't be drinking
beer like a pussy
107
00:06:50,665 --> 00:06:51,967
when I'm slugging tequila.
108
00:06:52,131 --> 00:06:54,300
And how exactly does
a pussy drink beer?
109
00:06:57,225 --> 00:06:59,193
Glug, glug, glug, glug-
110
00:06:59,379 --> 00:07:00,861
And you want tequila.
111
00:07:01,043 --> 00:07:02,335
Pour asshole.
112
00:07:14,061 --> 00:07:14,795
And?
113
00:07:14,820 --> 00:07:15,488
You?
114
00:07:26,384 --> 00:07:27,057
Toast rne.
115
00:07:28,356 --> 00:07:29,573
Demanding little shit.
116
00:07:30,088 --> 00:07:32,456
Toast me or I'll tell
your mother the stripper
117
00:07:32,481 --> 00:07:34,143
made you bowling ball her
in front of everybody.
118
00:07:35,212 --> 00:07:35,879
Bowling ball?
119
00:07:38,348 --> 00:07:39,196
OK... ok
120
00:07:39,942 --> 00:07:41,089
Ahh... To Cooper
121
00:07:42,281 --> 00:07:44,937
May your hair never fall
122
00:07:45,895 --> 00:07:46,633
your dick
123
00:07:46,738 --> 00:07:47,818
always rise
124
00:07:48,482 --> 00:07:49,395
and
125
00:07:51,168 --> 00:07:53,308
your kids never call your brother-in-law daddy.
126
00:07:53,333 --> 00:07:53,956
[laughing]
127
00:07:55,471 --> 00:07:56,865
But seriously, Coop.
128
00:07:57,722 --> 00:07:58,341
Be happy-
129
00:08:00,261 --> 00:08:01,310
And to you, Lewis.
130
00:08:02,782 --> 00:08:04,188
May you get everything
that you want.
131
00:08:08,863 --> 00:08:09,597
Another! Another!
132
00:08:15,101 --> 00:08:16,121
Cooper, no.
133
00:08:16,432 --> 00:08:18,960
My blood is 90% tequila already.
134
00:08:19,079 --> 00:08:21,001
It's my bachelor party, Lewis.
135
00:08:22,554 --> 00:08:23,702
OK, fine.
136
00:08:23,922 --> 00:08:25,395
But let's just sip these, OK.
137
00:08:25,420 --> 00:08:26,810
I need to slow down.
138
00:08:28,904 --> 00:08:29,572
OK.
139
00:08:34,697 --> 00:08:37,934
Seriously, I'm sorry about
the whole best man thing.
140
00:08:43,151 --> 00:08:44,295
I call three questions.
141
00:08:46,797 --> 00:08:47,361
What's that?
142
00:08:47,491 --> 00:08:49,427
We ask each other
three questions.
143
00:08:49,707 --> 00:08:51,281
No subject is off limits.
144
00:08:51,581 --> 00:08:52,906
Lyin is not-—
145
00:08:52,931 --> 00:08:53,406
Lyin?
146
00:08:53,746 --> 00:08:56,300
Lying is not allowed.
147
00:08:58,034 --> 00:08:58,433
What?
148
00:08:58,458 --> 00:08:59,112
What are you doing?
149
00:08:59,859 --> 00:09:03,612
Well, obviously, I've wandered
into a pre-teen slumber party.
150
00:09:03,638 --> 00:09:04,965
You're certainly
dressed for it.
151
00:09:05,978 --> 00:09:07,929
There is one thing I been
wanting to ask you since you
152
00:09:07,954 --> 00:09:09,573
came into town a week ago.
153
00:09:11,238 --> 00:09:11,698
What?
154
00:09:15,688 --> 00:09:17,223
OK.
155
00:09:17,449 --> 00:09:18,883
Question one.
156
00:09:19,086 --> 00:09:22,113
What is the wildest thing that
you have ever done sexually?
157
00:09:23,751 --> 00:09:25,085
Are We really going there?
158
00:09:25,335 --> 00:09:26,937
I'm about to
commit myself to one
159
00:09:26,962 --> 00:09:29,098
woman for the rest of my life.
160
00:09:29,508 --> 00:09:32,244
I need here some hot, sexy
shit before I tie a noose
161
00:09:32,269 --> 00:09:34,091
around my dick and hang myself.
162
00:09:35,375 --> 00:09:36,130
You first.
163
00:09:37,229 --> 00:09:38,883
That's against the rules but--
164
00:09:45,443 --> 00:09:46,929
Too many to think of just one?
165
00:09:50,119 --> 00:09:50,986
I got it.
166
00:09:51,110 --> 00:09:52,611
Do you remember in
high school that day
167
00:09:52,636 --> 00:09:54,108
in January when
we got snowed in?
168
00:09:54,957 --> 00:09:55,758
Yeah, yeah.
169
00:09:55,783 --> 00:09:57,552
We all had to sleep
in the gymnasium.
170
00:09:57,577 --> 00:09:58,879
Yeah, we slept on
the Wrestling mats.
171
00:09:59,528 --> 00:10:00,196
Yeah, yeah.
172
00:10:00,221 --> 00:10:00,610
Right, right.
173
00:10:00,969 --> 00:10:02,471
Remember how they
had everybody just
174
00:10:02,648 --> 00:10:04,417
mixed up, girls with the boys?
175
00:10:04,442 --> 00:10:06,524
Everyone was just
scattered around.
176
00:10:07,335 --> 00:10:07,869
Yeah.
177
00:10:08,569 --> 00:10:11,792
OK, so I wake up in
the middle of the night,
178
00:10:12,359 --> 00:10:16,663
and Michelle Berenger is rubbing
my dick through my jeans.
179
00:10:16,858 --> 00:10:17,592
What?
180
00:10:17,880 --> 00:10:19,019
I look around.
181
00:10:19,517 --> 00:10:21,578
Everybody's asleep,
even all the teachers.
182
00:10:22,641 --> 00:10:26,830
So I pull the old redwood
out, and she goes down on me.
183
00:10:27,412 --> 00:10:29,153
Timber!
184
00:10:29,525 --> 00:10:30,542
Holy shit.
185
00:10:30,567 --> 00:10:34,836
She was like a anaconda, man,
swallowing a bigger anaconda.
186
00:10:35,766 --> 00:10:36,634
That's ballsy of her.
187
00:10:36,665 --> 00:10:37,766
Yeah.
188
00:10:37,791 --> 00:10:39,993
I swear that her jaw unhinged
right there in the middle
189
00:10:40,018 --> 00:10:41,327
of 200 sleeping students.
190
00:10:43,023 --> 00:10:44,718
Did you ever see her again?
191
00:10:44,940 --> 00:10:45,660
No.
192
00:10:45,685 --> 00:10:47,787
I found out later she was my
third cousin or something.
193
00:10:47,812 --> 00:10:50,086
But that was your second
question, by the way.
194
00:10:50,418 --> 00:10:51,552
So answer mine.
195
00:10:52,615 --> 00:10:53,296
Um
196
00:10:56,487 --> 00:10:57,163
okay
197
00:10:58,123 --> 00:11:00,056
Remember Tom and
Linda from college?
198
00:11:00,489 --> 00:11:01,264
Mm hm Yeah, sure.
199
00:11:02,193 --> 00:11:02,721
OK.
200
00:11:03,853 --> 00:11:06,337
One night-- oh my god.
201
00:11:06,362 --> 00:11:07,600
I can't believe I'm
telling you this.
202
00:11:08,611 --> 00:11:12,817
One night, uh, I was at
their place for dinner.
203
00:11:13,632 --> 00:11:16,168
And they been
married nine months.
204
00:11:17,415 --> 00:11:21,583
And Linda breaks out the tarot
cards to read my fortune.
205
00:11:22,445 --> 00:11:24,365
And she just says all
the usual bullshit.
206
00:11:24,390 --> 00:11:28,060
You know, I'm gonna be
successful, well liked,
207
00:11:28,278 --> 00:11:29,004
et cetera.
208
00:11:30,526 --> 00:11:32,562
Then she says I'm
going to experience
209
00:11:32,587 --> 00:11:34,312
a big change in my life.
210
00:11:35,722 --> 00:11:38,340
She asked if she can read my
palm to get a better clue.
211
00:11:39,358 --> 00:11:43,618
So she's tracing with
her fingers my lifeline,
212
00:11:43,643 --> 00:11:44,966
my heart line.
213
00:11:45,768 --> 00:11:46,489
Yeah, Whatever.
214
00:11:47,402 --> 00:11:51,991
And then, her hand slides
215
00:11:53,408 --> 00:11:56,735
down past my Wrist, up my arm,
216
00:11:56,760 --> 00:11:58,962
until it's sliding
over my shoulder.
217
00:11:58,987 --> 00:12:00,155
What was Tom doing?
218
00:12:00,681 --> 00:12:02,742
Watching with a
big grin on his face.
219
00:12:03,909 --> 00:12:07,793
And then, we all just
end up on the floor.
220
00:12:08,349 --> 00:12:09,413
What happened?
221
00:12:09,874 --> 00:12:12,077
Did, did you fuck her?
222
00:12:12,530 --> 00:12:14,599
Uh, yeah.
223
00:12:14,761 --> 00:12:16,363
Did he?
224
00:12:16,644 --> 00:12:17,473
We both did.
225
00:12:20,129 --> 00:12:22,665
We both did.
226
00:12:23,254 --> 00:12:23,921
Wha--?
227
00:12:24,148 --> 00:12:25,106
At the same time?
228
00:12:27,864 --> 00:12:29,461
Details now.
229
00:12:31,144 --> 00:12:34,776
OK, well Tom and
I laid on the floor,
230
00:12:35,334 --> 00:12:37,470
and scooted against each other.
231
00:12:37,642 --> 00:12:42,975
Then, he put his legs
over mine and held
232
00:12:43,015 --> 00:12:44,565
our dicks close together.
233
00:12:45,247 --> 00:12:49,218
And she, she sat on us.
234
00:12:49,365 --> 00:12:50,566
Who poked what?
235
00:12:50,940 --> 00:12:52,509
He went for.
236
00:12:52,534 --> 00:12:54,191
I went aft, if you'll pardon
the [inaudible] terms.
237
00:12:55,653 --> 00:12:56,949
Fuck me.
238
00:12:57,832 --> 00:12:58,566
Where was I?
239
00:12:59,448 --> 00:13:00,315
I don't know.
240
00:13:00,409 --> 00:13:02,343
Getting head in the
middle of a flash mob?
241
00:13:05,083 --> 00:13:06,064
Are you bullshitting me?
242
00:13:06,656 --> 00:13:07,190
No.
243
00:13:07,215 --> 00:13:09,050
Cause when we lie, the
relationship is over.
244
00:13:09,422 --> 00:13:10,476
It's all true.
245
00:13:11,561 --> 00:13:12,151
Damn.
246
00:13:13,614 --> 00:13:15,759
That is a whale of a tale.
247
00:13:17,546 --> 00:13:18,447
Shots.
248
00:13:18,759 --> 00:13:19,426
Shots.
249
00:13:24,540 --> 00:13:25,634
Another story.
250
00:13:25,659 --> 00:13:27,192
Something Weirder, wilder.
251
00:13:27,735 --> 00:13:31,585
Uh, uh, you first.
252
00:13:32,220 --> 00:13:34,143
In the form of a
question, please.
253
00:13:34,945 --> 00:13:38,298
What's something else you've
clone that's sexually crazy?
254
00:13:43,385 --> 00:13:44,072
Come on.
255
00:13:46,295 --> 00:13:48,529
The dog licked my balls once.
Does that count?
256
00:13:48,741 --> 00:13:49,408
Ew!
257
00:13:49,433 --> 00:13:50,393
No!
258
00:13:50,632 --> 00:13:53,070
Why did you let the
dog lick your balls?
259
00:13:53,095 --> 00:13:54,694
Well, l didn't let him.
260
00:13:54,730 --> 00:13:56,335
He caught me by surprise.
261
00:13:56,897 --> 00:14:00,208
What were you doing so
the dog could-- never mind.
262
00:14:00,662 --> 00:14:01,165
Come on.
263
00:14:01,205 --> 00:14:01,872
Something else.
264
00:14:08,800 --> 00:14:09,901
I got nothing.
265
00:14:10,431 --> 00:14:11,031
Bullshit.
266
00:14:11,422 --> 00:14:13,057
How do you top a
blowjob in the middle
267
00:14:13,082 --> 00:14:15,117
of a 200 person sleepover?
268
00:14:15,437 --> 00:14:17,407
Everything else
pales by comparison.
269
00:14:18,972 --> 00:14:21,793
What about something
with your fiance?
270
00:14:23,245 --> 00:14:25,152
Strictly coloring
inside the lines there.
271
00:14:26,120 --> 00:14:26,750
My turn.
272
00:14:26,947 --> 00:14:27,828
Question two.
273
00:14:28,263 --> 00:14:32,014
What have you done sexually
that would shock me?
274
00:14:38,072 --> 00:14:39,658
I better not.
275
00:14:40,075 --> 00:14:41,018
What?
No fair.
276
00:14:41,043 --> 00:14:41,710
Why?
277
00:14:44,445 --> 00:14:48,414
I don't want you
to think badly of me.
278
00:14:49,117 --> 00:14:51,673
I think you're an
asshole already so spill.
279
00:14:57,226 --> 00:14:58,994
[Sigh]
280
00:14:59,228 --> 00:15:01,497
We're just telling stories here.
281
00:15:01,730 --> 00:15:04,490
I promise, there's nothing you
could say that will make me
282
00:15:04,959 --> 00:15:06,435
feel any differently about you.
283
00:15:10,005 --> 00:15:10,883
All right.
284
00:15:12,281 --> 00:15:16,245
The Tom and Linda story, I
didn't tell you everything.
285
00:15:16,478 --> 00:15:17,146
OK.
286
00:15:20,555 --> 00:15:21,969
So Linda's kissing me.
287
00:15:22,883 --> 00:15:24,349
Tom's getting undressed.
288
00:15:25,936 --> 00:15:28,230
And then, she kissed him.
289
00:15:29,748 --> 00:15:35,830
And then, he, he kissed me.
290
00:15:36,677 --> 00:15:38,345
Tom kissed you?
291
00:15:39,360 --> 00:15:40,146
Yes.
292
00:15:41,828 --> 00:15:46,614
Then, we all just started
kissing, and making out,
293
00:15:47,609 --> 00:15:48,656
and fell to the floor.
294
00:15:49,557 --> 00:15:58,907
And then, well, then
I, I sucked his dick.
295
00:16:07,724 --> 00:16:08,686
What was it like?
296
00:16:11,593 --> 00:16:12,045
What?
297
00:16:12,777 --> 00:16:13,606
Question three.
298
00:16:14,138 --> 00:16:16,318
What was it like sucking a dick?
299
00:16:19,337 --> 00:16:21,685
It was good.
300
00:16:22,634 --> 00:16:23,474
Fun.
301
00:16:24,300 --> 00:16:25,013
Easy.
302
00:16:26,266 --> 00:16:27,334
Pussy on a stick.
303
00:16:32,988 --> 00:16:33,483
Look
304
00:16:36,157 --> 00:16:36,819
I'm
305
00:16:39,156 --> 00:16:39,889
bisexual
306
00:16:41,766 --> 00:16:43,503
I've known it for a long time.
307
00:16:45,162 --> 00:16:46,797
I'm sorry I never told you.
308
00:16:46,822 --> 00:16:47,298
I just
309
00:16:50,415 --> 00:16:51,306
I didn't know how.
310
00:16:53,448 --> 00:16:54,910
I have to piss.
311
00:17:12,160 --> 00:17:12,895
Fucking tequila.
312
00:17:27,771 --> 00:17:28,544
Put some porn on.
313
00:17:33,749 --> 00:17:35,050
[moaning]
314
00:17:40,507 --> 00:17:41,241
Seen it.
315
00:17:45,272 --> 00:17:46,073
Seen it.
316
00:17:49,364 --> 00:17:50,830
Are you kidding me with this?
317
00:17:52,601 --> 00:17:53,302
Yes.
318
00:17:53,535 --> 00:17:54,736
Ooh, yeah.
319
00:17:54,970 --> 00:17:55,737
Get that pussy wet, yeah.
320
00:17:55,884 --> 00:17:56,651
Seen it.
321
00:17:59,261 --> 00:18:00,075
Put something else on.
322
00:18:03,107 --> 00:18:04,575
This is all the
straight porn I have.
323
00:18:04,622 --> 00:18:05,601
Bullshit.
324
00:18:06,236 --> 00:18:07,170
It is.
325
00:18:07,482 --> 00:18:08,511
Everything else is
326
00:18:08,536 --> 00:18:10,855
from my personal stash.
327
00:18:11,762 --> 00:18:12,430
I don't care.
328
00:18:12,554 --> 00:18:13,488
Just put something in.
329
00:18:35,773 --> 00:18:37,767
Now if this is too much
for you, just say so.
330
00:18:38,223 --> 00:18:39,639
Just push play, grandma.
331
00:18:39,664 --> 00:18:40,076
Let's go.
332
00:18:45,854 --> 00:18:47,689
(QN TV) Oh, yeah.
333
00:18:47,923 --> 00:18:51,660
[moaning] Oh_
334
00:18:51,893 --> 00:18:54,162
Oh, fuck yeah.
335
00:18:54,396 --> 00:18:56,131
Oh.
336
00:18:56,365 --> 00:18:58,633
Oh.
337
00:18:58,867 --> 00:19:00,635
Oh, yeah.
338
00:19:00,869 --> 00:19:05,607
[m0afiing] Oh, yeah.
339
00:19:05,676 --> 00:19:07,061
I didn't know
guys could do that.
340
00:19:10,045 --> 00:19:13,048
(ow TV) Uh huh.
341
00:19:13,073 --> 00:19:13,714
Gotta piss again.
342
00:19:16,451 --> 00:19:18,186
[moaning sex sounds]
343
00:19:31,333 --> 00:19:32,167
(QN TV) Fuck.
344
00:19:32,401 --> 00:19:33,168
Oh, yeah.
345
00:20:22,722 --> 00:20:24,090
Tough to piss when
you got a hard on.
346
00:20:32,392 --> 00:20:34,266
That guys dick is huge!
347
00:20:40,295 --> 00:20:40,724
So...
348
00:20:41,818 --> 00:20:42,549
how big are you?
349
00:20:48,477 --> 00:20:49,211
I don't know.
350
00:20:49,318 --> 00:20:50,284
I never sized it.
351
00:20:51,272 --> 00:20:51,713
You?
352
00:20:53,321 --> 00:20:54,287
Never sized mine either.
353
00:20:58,321 --> 00:20:59,731
Too bad I don't
have a tape measurer.
354
00:21:01,942 --> 00:21:03,058
You don't have
a tape measurer?
355
00:21:05,143 --> 00:21:05,775
Sorry.
356
00:21:07,812 --> 00:21:09,606
All the times to
forget my Christian
357
00:21:09,631 --> 00:21:10,932
Siriano portable sewing kit.
358
00:21:15,490 --> 00:21:19,616
Well when you see a guy in
the movie who's the same size
359
00:21:19,641 --> 00:21:21,109
as you, point him out.
360
00:21:25,256 --> 00:21:25,990
OK.
361
00:21:36,107 --> 00:21:36,604
Him.
362
00:21:36,892 --> 00:21:38,027
No way.
363
00:21:38,299 --> 00:21:39,233
No fucking way.
364
00:21:39,654 --> 00:21:40,111
Yeah.
365
00:21:40,431 --> 00:21:41,132
Pretty close.
366
00:21:41,272 --> 00:21:42,363
That is a whale of a tale.
367
00:21:42,809 --> 00:21:43,679
You aren't that big.
368
00:21:43,704 --> 00:21:44,093
No way.
369
00:21:47,385 --> 00:21:48,386
Maybe I should show you.
370
00:22:07,128 --> 00:22:07,862
I think you're right.
371
00:22:20,515 --> 00:22:22,053
I've never touched
another guy's dick before.
372
00:22:23,872 --> 00:22:24,748
It's OK.
373
00:22:25,294 --> 00:22:26,411
You can if you want to.
374
00:22:28,113 --> 00:22:28,947
Do you want to?
375
00:22:31,780 --> 00:22:32,514
Yeah.
376
00:23:00,694 --> 00:23:02,103
I've never sucked a cock before.
377
00:23:03,659 --> 00:23:04,905
You can if you want to.
378
00:23:05,981 --> 00:23:07,082
Do you want to?
379
00:23:10,188 --> 00:23:10,611
Yeah.
380
00:23:22,259 --> 00:23:22,993
No teeth.
381
00:23:25,343 --> 00:23:25,892
What?
382
00:23:27,513 --> 00:23:29,331
You're not using any teeth.
383
00:23:29,572 --> 00:23:31,507
- Do you want me to?
- No.
384
00:23:31,686 --> 00:23:32,314
No.
385
00:23:32,339 --> 00:23:35,705
I just-- you're
really good at this.
386
00:23:37,571 --> 00:23:38,939
Sure you never done this before?
387
00:23:39,681 --> 00:23:40,348
mmm
388
00:23:47,751 --> 00:23:49,246
Take your pants off.
389
00:23:50,562 --> 00:23:51,892
I've had too much to drink.
390
00:23:52,060 --> 00:23:53,343
I don't even know if
I can get hard again.
391
00:23:53,757 --> 00:23:55,258
Let me worry about that.
392
00:24:36,471 --> 00:24:37,454
Is it OK?
393
00:24:38,436 --> 00:24:39,237
Yeah.
394
00:24:40,498 --> 00:24:41,591
That was close.
395
00:24:42,179 --> 00:24:43,079
Lewis one.
396
00:24:43,429 --> 00:24:44,579
Whiskey dick, zero.
397
00:24:51,986 --> 00:24:52,721
What's the matter?
398
00:24:52,746 --> 00:24:53,313
Let me kiss you.
399
00:24:54,342 --> 00:24:55,324
I don't want to do that.
400
00:24:57,809 --> 00:24:59,619
You just had my
dick in your mouth.
401
00:25:00,735 --> 00:25:01,820
You won't let me kiss you?
402
00:25:03,373 --> 00:25:06,320
It's just different.
403
00:25:08,610 --> 00:25:09,411
How?
404
00:25:10,004 --> 00:25:11,075
Kissing is more
405
00:25:12,572 --> 00:25:13,146
intimate.
406
00:25:14,612 --> 00:25:15,596
I want to save that.
407
00:25:17,312 --> 00:25:18,213
OK.
408
00:25:21,881 --> 00:25:22,924
I want to do you again.
409
00:25:25,620 --> 00:25:26,287
Sure.
410
00:25:30,477 --> 00:25:31,812
[moaning]
411
00:25:43,446 --> 00:25:44,044
What time is it?
412
00:25:48,780 --> 00:25:50,236
6:25.
413
00:25:52,248 --> 00:25:53,400
I should get up.
414
00:25:53,425 --> 00:25:54,718
I gotta shower.
415
00:25:56,037 --> 00:25:59,996
Yeah, cause the Wedding's
in about five hours.
416
00:26:34,604 --> 00:26:37,371
I knew the affair was
doomed from the beginning.
417
00:26:38,288 --> 00:26:41,658
Jeff had a beautiful wife,
two handsome children, and
418
00:26:41,758 --> 00:26:44,020
a thriving peanut plantation.
419
00:26:44,216 --> 00:26:46,318
He would never
give him up for me.
420
00:26:46,678 --> 00:26:49,672
And truly, he would
be a fool to do so.
421
00:26:54,772 --> 00:26:57,241
But he had planted a seed in me.
422
00:26:57,912 --> 00:27:01,082
A seed that burned deep within.
423
00:27:01,316 --> 00:27:03,051
I must have him.
424
00:27:03,284 --> 00:27:04,713
Whatever it takes.
425
00:27:18,800 --> 00:27:19,534
Gideon.
426
00:27:26,859 --> 00:27:27,735
That was fast.
427
00:27:28,996 --> 00:27:30,055
More of a rinse.
428
00:27:34,778 --> 00:27:37,147
OK, I know this is stupid.
429
00:27:37,342 --> 00:27:39,000
But I have to ask.
430
00:27:39,766 --> 00:27:42,339
Did we do anything unsafe?
431
00:27:43,012 --> 00:27:44,980
We gave Ted the
key to the minibar.
432
00:27:45,190 --> 00:27:46,138
I'm serious.
433
00:27:46,846 --> 00:27:48,414
Don't worry.
You're fine.
434
00:27:48,439 --> 00:27:50,270
It was just intro
to homo sex 101.
435
00:27:51,570 --> 00:27:52,395
Did I pass?
436
00:27:52,561 --> 00:27:53,962
The oral exam, yes.
437
00:27:54,438 --> 00:27:54,753
OK.
438
00:27:55,183 --> 00:27:55,511
Good.
439
00:27:56,384 --> 00:27:58,612
Just wait till we get
to the advanced classes.
440
00:28:01,521 --> 00:28:03,490
Lewis, this can
never happen again.
441
00:28:06,551 --> 00:28:07,568
Do you want to pray?
442
00:28:08,100 --> 00:28:08,583
What?
443
00:28:09,256 --> 00:28:10,991
Does this mean you
don't want the 5O bucks?
444
00:28:11,686 --> 00:28:12,954
No.
445
00:28:13,187 --> 00:28:14,155
I'm sorry.
446
00:28:14,389 --> 00:28:16,324
I'm just not used to so
much drama from my tricks.
447
00:28:16,558 --> 00:28:18,259
You're such a dick.
448
00:28:18,493 --> 00:28:21,162
The word you're looking
for is John, not dick.
449
00:28:21,396 --> 00:28:23,798
Now go put something pretty on,
and let's get some breakfast.
450
00:28:24,032 --> 00:28:27,635
Lewis, can you set your phaser
to serious for one minute?
451
00:28:27,869 --> 00:28:30,138
OK, let's hear it.
452
00:28:30,371 --> 00:28:33,007
Here what?
453
00:28:33,241 --> 00:28:34,242
I'm not gay.
454
00:28:34,475 --> 00:28:35,743
I like women.
455
00:28:35,977 --> 00:28:38,012
I was just, dot, dot, dot.
456
00:28:38,246 --> 00:28:39,047
Choose from the following.
457
00:28:39,280 --> 00:28:40,615
A, curious.
458
00:28:40,848 --> 00:28:41,583
B, drunk.
459
00:28:41,816 --> 00:28:43,051
C, horny.
460
00:28:43,284 --> 00:28:47,522
Followed up by and there was a
willing mouth in the room so.
461
00:28:47,755 --> 00:28:49,824
Lewis, I liked it.
462
00:28:50,058 --> 00:28:50,959
OK?
463
00:28:51,192 --> 00:28:53,127
I wouldn't have
done it otherwise.
464
00:28:53,361 --> 00:28:54,662
But I'm getting married today.
465
00:28:54,896 --> 00:28:59,100
Oh, I should've
made that choice D.
466
00:28:59,334 --> 00:29:03,438
Look, I'm not gonna
freak out or run away.
467
00:29:03,671 --> 00:29:05,807
And I'm not gonna say that
we can't be buddies anymore.
468
00:29:06,040 --> 00:29:08,409
You're my best friend.
469
00:29:08,643 --> 00:29:12,280
And if anything, this just
made me feel closer to you.
470
00:29:12,513 --> 00:29:14,382
Except for the kissing.
471
00:29:14,616 --> 00:29:17,652
Well I got to save
something for my wife.
472
00:29:17,885 --> 00:29:18,753
OK.
473
00:29:18,987 --> 00:29:19,854
She can have your feet.
474
00:29:20,088 --> 00:29:21,589
I don't like feet.
475
00:29:21,823 --> 00:29:23,491
Feet are suspicious.
476
00:29:23,725 --> 00:29:25,727
They never look you in the eye.
477
00:29:25,960 --> 00:29:27,662
Lewis, it was fun.
478
00:29:27,895 --> 00:29:29,731
And I'm glad that
it was with you.
479
00:29:29,964 --> 00:29:31,566
But once is enough.
480
00:29:31,799 --> 00:29:33,568
You can't stop at just one.
481
00:29:33,801 --> 00:29:36,170
Think of me as your personal
bag of potato chips.
482
00:29:36,404 --> 00:29:39,040
You both make
my fingers greasy.
483
00:29:39,273 --> 00:29:40,041
Good one, straight boy.
484
00:29:46,014 --> 00:29:47,015
Hey, Ted?
485
00:29:47,248 --> 00:29:48,182
Yeah, it's Cooper.
486
00:29:48,416 --> 00:29:49,183
I need you to come pick me up.
487
00:29:49,417 --> 00:29:51,786
I'm still at the hotel.
488
00:29:52,020 --> 00:29:54,622
Yeah, I got drunk
and passed out.
489
00:29:54,856 --> 00:29:56,557
All right.
490
00:29:56,791 --> 00:29:57,792
OK.
491
00:29:58,026 --> 00:29:59,727
All right, I'll meet you
out front in a few minutes.
492
00:29:59,961 --> 00:30:00,628
Bye.
493
00:30:09,137 --> 00:30:09,871
I gotta go
494
00:30:14,921 --> 00:30:15,687
Friends?
495
00:30:16,080 --> 00:30:16,579
Of course.
496
00:30:17,264 --> 00:30:18,171
With benefits?
497
00:30:18,242 --> 00:30:19,023
Ass.
498
00:30:19,807 --> 00:30:21,047
OK, kiss me goodbye.
499
00:30:22,026 --> 00:30:23,112
How about a hug?
500
00:30:23,759 --> 00:30:24,940
I'll take it.
501
00:30:31,649 --> 00:30:32,606
See you later?
502
00:30:33,004 --> 00:30:34,330
Yes, you will.
503
00:30:36,431 --> 00:30:38,319
Your nose smells like tuna.
504
00:30:41,981 --> 00:30:42,881
Love you, Lewis.
505
00:30:44,215 --> 00:30:44,882
Love you, Coop.
506
00:31:30,895 --> 00:31:34,869
[music playing]
507
00:32:34,772 --> 00:32:35,705
What are you doing?
508
00:32:36,254 --> 00:32:37,603
Testing my camera skills.
509
00:32:38,193 --> 00:32:39,728
Are we changing professions?
510
00:32:40,032 --> 00:32:41,934
No, I thought I'd make a
sexy video with the wife.
511
00:32:41,959 --> 00:32:43,418
I just wanted to
test it out first.
512
00:32:44,079 --> 00:32:44,801
I'll erase it.
513
00:32:45,146 --> 00:32:46,547
That's an expensive sex toy.
514
00:32:46,749 --> 00:32:47,981
I got it for the baby.
515
00:32:48,751 --> 00:32:50,249
The baby needs a sex toy?
516
00:32:50,313 --> 00:32:50,825
The birth.
517
00:32:50,850 --> 00:32:52,006
I'm recording the birth.
518
00:32:52,681 --> 00:32:54,042
That's your idea
of a sexy video?
519
00:32:54,687 --> 00:32:57,089
Or is it just the third
act of a story arc?
520
00:32:57,385 --> 00:32:57,896
Dick.
521
00:32:59,189 --> 00:33:00,868
The wife liked your
latest book, by the way.
522
00:33:01,638 --> 00:33:02,634
They all say that.
523
00:33:04,106 --> 00:33:04,857
When's it due?
524
00:33:05,173 --> 00:33:06,251
In a couple of weeks.
525
00:33:06,810 --> 00:33:07,878
Congratulations!
526
00:33:07,903 --> 00:33:08,904
Thanks.
527
00:33:09,347 --> 00:33:10,148
Let's drink a toast.
528
00:33:10,317 --> 00:33:10,984
Shots.
529
00:33:13,300 --> 00:33:14,601
You go ahead without me.
530
00:33:15,092 --> 00:33:15,760
What?
531
00:33:15,785 --> 00:33:17,416
We have to drink a toast.
532
00:33:18,807 --> 00:33:19,894
Come on.
533
00:33:20,127 --> 00:33:21,295
[inaudible].
534
00:33:21,396 --> 00:33:22,411
Uh, yeah.
535
00:33:24,365 --> 00:33:25,199
Tell me When.
536
00:33:25,433 --> 00:33:26,701
That's, that's great.
537
00:33:26,934 --> 00:33:28,202
Yeah, too much.
538
00:33:28,436 --> 00:33:29,103
That's the point.
539
00:33:31,439 --> 00:33:32,173
Here.
540
00:33:34,971 --> 00:33:35,840
To my son.
541
00:33:37,112 --> 00:33:38,285
You know the sex?
542
00:33:39,050 --> 00:33:39,951
Yeah, for awhile now.
543
00:33:40,193 --> 00:33:41,181
You didn't say anything.
544
00:33:41,206 --> 00:33:41,876
Are you excited?
545
00:33:42,357 --> 00:33:44,181
Not yet, but
I'm getting there.
546
00:33:45,147 --> 00:33:45,777
Get off.
547
00:33:45,802 --> 00:33:47,330
I meant about the baby.
548
00:33:47,957 --> 00:33:49,091
Being a father.
549
00:33:49,239 --> 00:33:50,387
Having a son.
550
00:33:52,093 --> 00:33:54,729
[Sigh]
551
00:33:54,813 --> 00:33:55,880
I'm so excited...
552
00:33:55,904 --> 00:33:57,532
I could shit a crowbar
553
00:33:59,634 --> 00:34:00,301
I hear ya
554
00:34:05,464 --> 00:34:07,167
All new fathers get nervous.
555
00:34:10,571 --> 00:34:11,571
What if I sit on him?
556
00:34:12,213 --> 00:34:13,848
[chuckle]
557
00:34:14,269 --> 00:34:15,913
Why would you sit on him?
558
00:34:15,938 --> 00:34:17,317
Well not intentionally.
559
00:34:20,595 --> 00:34:21,944
I want to be a good dad, Lewis.
560
00:34:22,788 --> 00:34:23,311
The best.
561
00:34:24,071 --> 00:34:24,554
I have to be.
562
00:34:26,380 --> 00:34:29,796
Cooper, you're a
sweet, loving man.
563
00:34:30,923 --> 00:34:32,067
You're gonna be a great dad.
564
00:34:33,067 --> 00:34:33,734
You think so?
565
00:34:36,413 --> 00:34:37,178
Of course.
566
00:34:38,961 --> 00:34:40,362
I just don't want to
fuck him up in the head.
567
00:34:40,698 --> 00:34:42,388
Then, Wait till
he's 3O before you
568
00:34:42,413 --> 00:34:43,263
tell him daddy's a cock sucker.
569
00:34:50,185 --> 00:34:52,781
I don't know what's bouncing
around in that spinning raffle
570
00:34:52,806 --> 00:34:53,923
basket of the head of yours.
571
00:34:53,948 --> 00:34:55,040
Do you remember
when my dad left?
572
00:34:56,688 --> 00:34:57,189
Yeah
573
00:34:57,857 --> 00:34:59,481
soon after we became friends.
574
00:35:02,623 --> 00:35:03,646
He never said goodbye.
575
00:35:05,414 --> 00:35:06,365
He just left.
576
00:35:06,879 --> 00:35:09,146
I thought it was me, that I did
something wrong
577
00:35:09,716 --> 00:35:10,435
even today
578
00:35:14,287 --> 00:35:16,389
It's like he pushed a dirty
thumbprint into my brain
579
00:35:16,414 --> 00:35:17,082
that won't go away.
580
00:35:20,159 --> 00:35:22,259
You're gonna be an
awesome dad, Coop.
581
00:35:23,432 --> 00:35:24,099
The best.
582
00:35:26,534 --> 00:35:27,535
Thanks, Lewis.
583
00:35:27,560 --> 00:35:29,048
You always say the
intelligent thing.
584
00:35:29,857 --> 00:35:30,833
Yes, I know.
585
00:35:32,580 --> 00:35:35,365
I had a very handsome
younger brother.
586
00:35:36,124 --> 00:35:38,820
When we were kids, people
would look at him and say,
587
00:35:40,059 --> 00:35:42,195
you are so cute.
588
00:35:42,389 --> 00:35:45,752
And then, they'd look
at me and say, uh,
589
00:35:45,777 --> 00:35:47,612
you must be the smart one.
590
00:35:47,637 --> 00:35:49,241
Hey, we can't all be Farrah
591
00:35:49,644 --> 00:35:50,429
Somebody's gotta
592
00:35:50,454 --> 00:35:51,250
be Kate Jackson.
593
00:35:53,336 --> 00:35:54,003
Camera.
594
00:36:02,200 --> 00:36:03,209
Take your shirt off.
595
00:36:04,648 --> 00:36:05,484
You really are a perv.
596
00:36:05,509 --> 00:36:06,176
You know that?
597
00:36:06,380 --> 00:36:07,355
You must like it.
598
00:36:08,124 --> 00:36:10,228
Four years later, and you
haven't skipped an anniversary.
599
00:36:11,669 --> 00:36:12,311
Pants.
600
00:36:13,587 --> 00:36:15,050
Fourth anniversary.
601
00:36:16,219 --> 00:36:18,025
That's fruit, isn't it?
602
00:36:18,253 --> 00:36:21,470
I'd answer that, but I
think you'd be insulted.
603
00:36:22,350 --> 00:36:23,018
Get in bed.
604
00:36:29,565 --> 00:36:30,755
Hey, I want another drink. You?
605
00:36:32,100 --> 00:36:32,727
I'm good.
606
00:36:33,456 --> 00:36:33,939
Here... take that
607
00:36:34,126 --> 00:36:34,793
OK.
608
00:36:42,909 --> 00:36:44,566
Coop, what do you
tell your wife?
609
00:36:45,701 --> 00:36:46,536
What do you mean?
610
00:36:46,910 --> 00:36:49,073
Well every year for
the past four years,
611
00:36:49,098 --> 00:36:50,800
We've met in this
same hotel room.
612
00:36:51,310 --> 00:36:53,000
It's the day before
your anniversary.
613
00:36:53,666 --> 00:36:54,484
What does she think?
614
00:36:56,298 --> 00:36:58,081
I tell her one of my buddies
is sick and in the hospital.
615
00:36:58,106 --> 00:36:59,241
I have to go see him.
616
00:36:59,603 --> 00:37:02,906
So far, four of my closest
imaginary friends have died.
617
00:37:03,054 --> 00:37:05,281
Belinda doesn't strike
me as being stupid.
618
00:37:06,297 --> 00:37:07,093
She's not.
619
00:37:07,680 --> 00:37:08,494
She's just
620
00:37:09,661 --> 00:37:10,115
trusting.
621
00:37:12,695 --> 00:37:14,063
You sure you don't
want another drink?
622
00:37:18,007 --> 00:37:19,456
Why do you drink
so much before?
623
00:37:21,353 --> 00:37:21,854
Before?
624
00:37:22,509 --> 00:37:23,870
Before.
625
00:37:24,719 --> 00:37:25,678
It relaxes me.
626
00:37:27,129 --> 00:37:28,514
Why do you need to be relaxed?
627
00:37:32,067 --> 00:37:32,547
Give.
628
00:37:39,933 --> 00:37:40,767
Lie back.
629
00:37:44,817 --> 00:37:45,685
Play with yourself.
630
00:37:47,419 --> 00:37:49,110
Do you have a preference
as to which hand?
631
00:37:49,244 --> 00:37:50,278
No more talking.
632
00:37:50,730 --> 00:37:51,211
Do it.
633
00:37:52,058 --> 00:37:53,330
What are you gonna
do with this tape?
634
00:37:53,950 --> 00:37:54,592
We're gonna watch it.
635
00:37:55,212 --> 00:37:55,818
Then what?
636
00:37:56,217 --> 00:37:57,740
Then, we're gonna fuck.
637
00:37:58,474 --> 00:37:59,574
Thought you didn't fuck.
638
00:37:59,873 --> 00:38:01,141
I'm gonna fuck you.
639
00:38:01,328 --> 00:38:02,418
You're not gonna fuck me.
640
00:38:02,648 --> 00:38:05,642
And here, I didn't
get you anything.
641
00:38:08,032 --> 00:38:08,469
Talk to me.
642
00:38:10,301 --> 00:38:11,503
What do you want me to say?
643
00:38:11,837 --> 00:38:12,807
Sexy things.
644
00:38:15,303 --> 00:38:16,771
Just don't make
me call you big Jar
645
00:38:16,796 --> 00:38:18,521
Jar Rat Nuts like last time.
646
00:38:18,718 --> 00:38:19,442
Come on.
647
00:38:29,233 --> 00:38:30,272
Do you like what you see?
648
00:38:30,622 --> 00:38:31,264
Yeah.
649
00:38:34,536 --> 00:38:35,500
Does it turn you on?
650
00:38:35,772 --> 00:38:36,837
Fuck yeah.
651
00:38:41,966 --> 00:38:43,734
Don't you wanna pan down?
652
00:38:43,851 --> 00:38:44,518
No.
653
00:38:44,705 --> 00:38:45,650
A dick is a dick.
654
00:38:46,484 --> 00:38:47,580
Your face is sexy.
655
00:38:48,106 --> 00:38:49,491
Show me how much I turn you on.
656
00:39:01,027 --> 00:39:01,861
Cooper.
657
00:39:02,111 --> 00:39:02,582
Yeah.
658
00:39:03,627 --> 00:39:04,640
Coop
659
00:39:04,665 --> 00:39:05,070
Yeah.
660
00:39:07,762 --> 00:39:08,726
Cooper.
661
00:39:09,054 --> 00:39:09,988
Are you close?
662
00:39:10,347 --> 00:39:11,948
Yes.
Yeah, l'm--
663
00:39:12,436 --> 00:39:12,690
[phone ringing]
664
00:39:12,715 --> 00:39:12,981
Shit.
665
00:39:13,006 --> 00:39:13,809
Don't cum yet.
666
00:39:16,034 --> 00:39:16,768
[phone ringing]
667
00:39:16,793 --> 00:39:17,429
Who is it?
668
00:39:20,235 --> 00:39:20,722
The Wife.
669
00:39:21,589 --> 00:39:23,459
[phone ringing]
670
00:39:23,484 --> 00:39:24,452
Aren't you gonna get it?
671
00:39:26,150 --> 00:39:26,884
Nah
672
00:39:29,205 --> 00:39:31,090
Now where were we?
673
00:39:32,501 --> 00:39:33,759
No, I'm not in the mood.
674
00:39:34,146 --> 00:39:35,181
Oh, come on.
675
00:39:36,424 --> 00:39:37,380
No, sorry.
676
00:39:50,077 --> 00:39:51,131
Don't pout.
677
00:39:52,629 --> 00:39:53,303
Who's pouting?
678
00:39:54,734 --> 00:39:57,484
Well if I had
to guess, I'd say
679
00:39:57,509 --> 00:40:00,179
it's the guy sitting in the
chair with the frowny face.
680
00:40:01,759 --> 00:40:02,624
You're mistaken.
681
00:40:05,249 --> 00:40:06,217
I don't think so.
682
00:40:07,794 --> 00:40:08,365
Come here.
683
00:40:10,873 --> 00:40:11,607
Come here.
684
00:40:23,864 --> 00:40:24,599
I'm sorry.
685
00:40:29,685 --> 00:40:31,354
I love our annual get-togethers.
686
00:40:32,282 --> 00:40:32,977
I really do.
687
00:40:35,231 --> 00:40:36,900
But you can't expect
me to throw wood
688
00:40:36,925 --> 00:40:39,526
when I know you're
pregnant wife is calling
689
00:40:39,551 --> 00:40:40,519
wondering where you are.
690
00:40:40,741 --> 00:40:42,089
She's not here, Lewis.
691
00:40:42,725 --> 00:40:44,427
You are and I am.
692
00:40:44,598 --> 00:40:45,245
Us.
693
00:40:45,805 --> 00:40:46,768
One day a year.
694
00:40:48,000 --> 00:40:49,845
Let's just hit the pause
button on our lives.
695
00:40:49,955 --> 00:40:51,643
Just turn the lights off on the world
696
00:40:52,178 --> 00:40:53,298
for one day.
697
00:40:53,637 --> 00:40:56,646
We have one day to grind,
and sweat, and moan,
698
00:40:56,835 --> 00:40:58,053
and not care about anything.
699
00:41:00,143 --> 00:41:00,474
But--
700
00:41:00,499 --> 00:41:02,153
It gets crazy at
the store, Lewis.
701
00:41:02,458 --> 00:41:03,747
I have to control the stock.
702
00:41:04,120 --> 00:41:04,987
Control the staff.
703
00:41:05,198 --> 00:41:06,355
Control the deliveries.
704
00:41:07,467 --> 00:41:09,035
Also have the father
in law hovering over me
705
00:41:09,229 --> 00:41:10,629
scowling at everything I do.
706
00:41:11,832 --> 00:41:13,267
You write romance novels.
707
00:41:13,523 --> 00:41:14,625
You create characters.
708
00:41:14,842 --> 00:41:16,176
You pick the words
that they say.
709
00:41:17,204 --> 00:41:18,472
Don't you want to
take one day a year
710
00:41:18,497 --> 00:41:19,826
and just say, fuck it?
711
00:41:20,197 --> 00:41:22,185
I want to lie in bed and screw all day?
712
00:41:24,484 --> 00:41:25,943
I'm not in a relationship.
713
00:41:26,489 --> 00:41:27,519
I don't have to be the grownup.
714
00:41:27,655 --> 00:41:29,176
Well I don't want to
be the grown up either.
715
00:41:30,031 --> 00:41:31,599
And soon, that's
all I'm gonna be.
716
00:41:43,458 --> 00:41:44,192
Your turn.
717
00:41:46,804 --> 00:41:47,778
What do you want me to do?
718
00:41:48,360 --> 00:41:49,582
Get on your knees.
719
00:41:54,922 --> 00:41:56,725
Good.
I like you like that.
720
00:41:57,538 --> 00:41:58,746
What do you want me to do?
721
00:41:59,602 --> 00:42:00,341
Call me sir.
722
00:42:00,605 --> 00:42:01,219
Ha!
723
00:42:02,364 --> 00:42:04,527
Hey, you said you don't
want to be the grown-up?
724
00:42:05,625 --> 00:42:06,060
Do it.
725
00:42:06,304 --> 00:42:10,121
Call me sir, or I'll start
describing Bristol Palin naked.
726
00:42:12,790 --> 00:42:14,021
Fuck it -- OK.
727
00:42:16,411 --> 00:42:18,297
What do you want me to do... sir?
728
00:42:29,912 --> 00:42:33,123
May I... touch myself... sir?
729
00:42:34,316 --> 00:42:34,984
Yes.
730
00:42:45,442 --> 00:42:47,023
Wait, Coop.
731
00:42:48,322 --> 00:42:49,964
Sure you want me to
be feeling like this?
732
00:42:58,623 --> 00:42:59,957
[doorbell]
733
00:43:23,446 --> 00:43:24,180
Who is it?
734
00:43:24,501 --> 00:43:25,115
Housekeeping.
735
00:43:26,147 --> 00:43:27,890
I'm sorry for the
interruption, sir.
736
00:43:27,915 --> 00:43:28,781
I started my shift late.
737
00:43:29,972 --> 00:43:31,273
Oh, uh, that's OK.
738
00:43:31,359 --> 00:43:33,981
Um, uh, the room's fine.
739
00:43:34,383 --> 00:43:35,618
Uh, I'll be as quick as I can.
740
00:43:35,643 --> 00:43:36,710
It'll only take a few minutes.
741
00:43:37,239 --> 00:43:38,696
Um, OK.
742
00:43:38,893 --> 00:43:42,088
Uh, just, just please
be as fast as you can.
743
00:43:42,195 --> 00:43:42,744
Yes, sir.
744
00:44:43,882 --> 00:44:45,313
Would you like me to
make your bed, sir?
745
00:44:45,338 --> 00:44:45,953
No!
746
00:44:46,607 --> 00:44:48,008
No, it's, it's OK.
747
00:44:48,805 --> 00:44:49,878
Thanks.
748
00:45:22,322 --> 00:45:23,448
I'm all done, sir.
749
00:45:23,884 --> 00:45:26,549
Oh, um, great.
750
00:45:26,574 --> 00:45:27,475
Thank you.
751
00:45:27,667 --> 00:45:28,835
Have a nice stay with us.
752
00:45:29,241 --> 00:45:31,549
If it gets any better, I don't
think I'll be able to stand it.
753
00:45:34,231 --> 00:45:34,965
Did we get that?
754
00:45:42,440 --> 00:45:43,841
Ha fucking ha.
755
00:45:43,866 --> 00:45:44,534
Shut up.
756
00:45:44,559 --> 00:45:45,994
You liked it.
757
00:45:46,801 --> 00:45:49,127
Sometimes I think
you're certifiably insane.
758
00:45:49,159 --> 00:45:50,827
I'm just kicking up my heels.
759
00:45:53,120 --> 00:45:54,228
I wish you would.
760
00:45:54,908 --> 00:45:57,040
Ha fucking ha to you.
761
00:45:58,069 --> 00:45:59,173
I got something for you.
762
00:45:59,621 --> 00:46:00,806
Oh you do, do you?
763
00:46:01,451 --> 00:46:04,754
I know it's not your birthday,
but I got you a present.
764
00:46:05,853 --> 00:46:06,789
Lucky me.
765
00:46:07,749 --> 00:46:08,983
Why don't you try it on?
766
00:46:09,249 --> 00:46:10,198
See if it fits.
767
00:46:10,594 --> 00:46:11,695
Oh, I think it'll fit.
768
00:46:11,874 --> 00:46:13,708
You know my size.
769
00:46:19,423 --> 00:46:20,542
No undies.
770
00:46:20,567 --> 00:46:22,402
Somebody's being adventurous.
771
00:46:22,591 --> 00:46:23,580
Shut up and suck me.
772
00:46:24,706 --> 00:46:25,473
Yes, daddy.
773
00:46:25,691 --> 00:46:29,261
Lewis, just, just
don't say that.
774
00:46:30,236 --> 00:46:31,604
No, I'm sorry.
775
00:46:31,682 --> 00:46:32,449
It's my bad.
776
00:46:47,490 --> 00:46:48,357
[phone ringing]
777
00:46:48,481 --> 00:46:49,148
Damn it!
778
00:46:49,781 --> 00:46:50,897
Oh for fucks sake.
779
00:46:52,646 --> 00:46:53,881
[phone ringing]
780
00:46:56,455 --> 00:46:57,559
Is it you're wife again?
781
00:46:57,963 --> 00:46:58,629
It doesn't matter.
782
00:47:03,131 --> 00:47:04,252
Now where you going?
783
00:47:04,586 --> 00:47:05,814
Shrivel city.
784
00:47:06,912 --> 00:47:08,680
Is that anywhere
near Bonerville?
785
00:47:09,156 --> 00:47:10,289
Not today it isn't.
786
00:47:20,429 --> 00:47:21,996
I went commando for this?
787
00:47:28,229 --> 00:47:29,297
What do you want me to do?
788
00:47:30,908 --> 00:47:33,626
You know this is a situation
we have to face sometimes.
789
00:47:34,149 --> 00:47:36,478
I didn't get upset last year
when your mom kept calling.
790
00:47:38,561 --> 00:47:39,725
She was having a heart attack.
791
00:47:39,750 --> 00:47:40,725
No, she wasn't.
792
00:47:41,109 --> 00:47:42,644
She over-blended
her Activia smoothie
793
00:47:42,669 --> 00:47:44,270
and was having gas cramps.
794
00:47:45,142 --> 00:47:47,429
She was curled up on
the floor of her shower
795
00:47:47,454 --> 00:47:48,547
in the fetal position.
796
00:47:48,877 --> 00:47:51,280
Calling your name and
farting into her Life Alert.
797
00:47:51,513 --> 00:47:53,623
Seriously, who drinks a
smoothie in the shower?
798
00:47:54,782 --> 00:47:57,199
The point is she
thought she was dying.
799
00:47:57,224 --> 00:47:58,274
And so did you?
800
00:47:58,541 --> 00:48:01,422
If your ass had teeth, you
would've bitten my dick off.
801
00:48:02,805 --> 00:48:03,813
So why didn't you go ?
802
00:48:06,079 --> 00:48:06,747
Shots.
803
00:48:12,327 --> 00:48:14,444
I stashed this
away just in case.
804
00:48:15,270 --> 00:48:15,754
Oh!
805
00:48:15,779 --> 00:48:16,582
The good stuff.
806
00:48:19,401 --> 00:48:20,804
Oh, forget those.
807
00:48:26,189 --> 00:48:27,639
You're a regular boy scout.
808
00:48:28,412 --> 00:48:29,533
I remember when
I practically had
809
00:48:29,558 --> 00:48:30,783
to force you to drink with me.
810
00:48:31,765 --> 00:48:32,833
I know you too well.
811
00:48:33,230 --> 00:48:33,898
Yeah?
812
00:48:38,232 --> 00:48:39,410
Have you ever done
a kissing shot?
813
00:48:40,017 --> 00:48:40,973
No.
814
00:48:41,229 --> 00:48:41,772
What is it?
815
00:48:42,492 --> 00:48:43,853
I pour a shot into my mouth...
816
00:48:44,564 --> 00:48:45,634
push it into yours...
817
00:48:45,659 --> 00:48:46,415
so we share it.
818
00:48:48,044 --> 00:48:48,743
Gross.
819
00:48:49,418 --> 00:48:50,319
Oh, come on.
820
00:48:50,344 --> 00:48:51,478
Try it!
821
00:48:52,333 --> 00:48:53,880
Or does your sense
of adventure just
822
00:48:53,905 --> 00:48:55,353
stop at not wearing underwear?
823
00:48:55,968 --> 00:48:57,228
That's kissing.
824
00:48:57,647 --> 00:48:59,337
Only better with liquor.
825
00:49:00,643 --> 00:49:02,745
Lewis, how many times
do I have to say it?
826
00:49:02,770 --> 00:49:04,830
No kissing, even with booze.
827
00:49:05,368 --> 00:49:06,035
Listen.
828
00:49:06,355 --> 00:49:07,765
You won't let me fuck you.
829
00:49:08,682 --> 00:49:11,318
I think the least I
deserve is a kiss.
830
00:49:11,755 --> 00:49:13,883
One lousy kiss.
831
00:49:14,134 --> 00:49:18,736
Not an insurmountable request
for three years of penetration.
832
00:49:19,454 --> 00:49:20,455
Fuck, OK.
833
00:49:21,007 --> 00:49:21,841
Really?
834
00:49:22,075 --> 00:49:23,030
With booze.
835
00:49:23,735 --> 00:49:26,239
Now this is an
anniversary present.
836
00:49:27,052 --> 00:49:28,799
Of course, it's not fruit.
837
00:49:29,278 --> 00:49:30,455
Shut up and pour.
838
00:49:37,246 --> 00:49:38,247
Belly up to the bar.
839
00:49:48,688 --> 00:49:51,570
Well, make your move, cowpoke.
840
00:50:30,197 --> 00:50:30,767
Yeah.
841
00:50:31,040 --> 00:50:31,853
I know.
842
00:50:32,337 --> 00:50:34,588
That was some strong stuff.
843
00:50:37,236 --> 00:50:38,108
Want another one?
844
00:50:40,724 --> 00:50:41,273
No.
845
00:50:41,679 --> 00:50:42,102
No.
846
00:50:50,463 --> 00:50:52,516
Can you admit you
felt something just now?
847
00:50:53,480 --> 00:50:54,037
Like what?
848
00:50:55,602 --> 00:50:56,336
I don't know.
849
00:50:56,584 --> 00:50:57,572
A Spark!
850
00:50:58,081 --> 00:50:59,371
I don't like kissing, Lewis.
851
00:50:59,396 --> 00:51:00,207
I told you that.
852
00:51:00,897 --> 00:51:01,631
Yeah but--
853
00:51:03,638 --> 00:51:04,993
[vibrating phone sound]
854
00:51:05,018 --> 00:51:06,047
I don't even kiss the Wife.
855
00:51:32,638 --> 00:51:33,635
Do you remember what
I said the first time
856
00:51:33,660 --> 00:51:34,658
you wanted to kiss me?
857
00:51:36,229 --> 00:51:36,838
Yeah.
858
00:51:36,863 --> 00:51:39,910
You said it was too intimate.
859
00:51:40,806 --> 00:51:41,761
You wanted to save it.
860
00:51:42,905 --> 00:51:45,472
You never asked me
who I was saving it for.
861
00:51:47,935 --> 00:51:49,416
I had three better
questions that year.
862
00:51:49,915 --> 00:51:53,037
But I assumed you were
saving it for your Wife.
863
00:51:53,752 --> 00:51:54,545
So did I.
864
00:51:55,450 --> 00:51:57,567
But even when We were dating,
865
00:51:59,353 --> 00:52:00,567
that peck at the wedding,
866
00:52:01,548 --> 00:52:02,728
I knew that it wasn't for her.
867
00:52:03,854 --> 00:52:04,736
What wasn't for her?
868
00:52:05,838 --> 00:52:06,905
The intimacy.
869
00:52:07,577 --> 00:52:09,473
The person I could
share my soul with.
870
00:52:09,976 --> 00:52:10,802
Be one with.
871
00:52:12,533 --> 00:52:13,434
I mean, don't get
me wrong, buddy.
872
00:52:13,459 --> 00:52:14,126
I love her.
873
00:52:14,151 --> 00:52:15,285
I, I really do.
874
00:52:15,813 --> 00:52:17,226
I mean, she's gonna be
the mother of my kid.
875
00:52:18,177 --> 00:52:20,666
But she's not my other half.
876
00:52:21,568 --> 00:52:22,613
She doesn't complete me.
877
00:52:22,638 --> 00:52:23,660
Complete you?
878
00:52:24,337 --> 00:52:26,963
Has the Lifetime channel gone
Clockwork Orange on your ass?
879
00:52:27,234 --> 00:52:27,830
No.
880
00:52:28,344 --> 00:52:31,280
The wife, she has these
romantic audio books.
881
00:52:31,756 --> 00:52:33,264
She listens to them
before we go to sleep.
882
00:52:33,952 --> 00:52:34,980
One of yours once.
883
00:52:36,657 --> 00:52:38,759
Have you ever fucked
to a Harlequin romance?
884
00:52:39,181 --> 00:52:41,418
I fucked on a
Harlequin romance.
885
00:52:43,506 --> 00:52:44,745
I got tapped at the library.
886
00:52:46,226 --> 00:52:49,221
So you're afraid of intimacy?
887
00:52:49,880 --> 00:52:53,029
Of finding intimacy,
especially now.
888
00:52:54,797 --> 00:52:58,245
I'm married, Lewis,
with a kid on the way.
889
00:53:00,085 --> 00:53:01,586
What happens if
I find the person
890
00:53:01,611 --> 00:53:03,444
that I'm supposed to be with?
891
00:53:05,415 --> 00:53:06,243
Think about it.
892
00:53:07,511 --> 00:53:09,380
And you think it might be me?
893
00:53:11,793 --> 00:53:12,236
Wait.
894
00:53:13,014 --> 00:53:14,509
Are you afraid it might be me?
895
00:53:25,132 --> 00:53:27,443
You sure do make a
lot of dramatic exits
896
00:53:27,468 --> 00:53:28,623
for a straight guy.
897
00:53:30,227 --> 00:53:31,127
I call three questions.
898
00:53:31,439 --> 00:53:31,872
Shit.
899
00:53:31,918 --> 00:53:33,286
Not now, Lewis.
900
00:53:34,787 --> 00:53:36,356
Rules of three questions.
901
00:53:36,980 --> 00:53:39,816
The game can be initiated
once a year, at any time,
902
00:53:39,841 --> 00:53:41,140
by either player.
903
00:53:41,165 --> 00:53:42,000
No refusals.
904
00:53:42,025 --> 00:53:43,556
No time-outs.
905
00:53:44,485 --> 00:53:46,129
- Crap
- Your game.
906
00:53:46,154 --> 00:53:47,520
Your rules.
- OK.
907
00:53:47,545 --> 00:53:47,931
Go.
908
00:53:48,609 --> 00:53:52,468
We've been together in the
Leviticus sense four times now.
909
00:53:53,155 --> 00:53:54,123
Question one.
910
00:53:54,379 --> 00:53:54,832
Shoot.
911
00:53:55,555 --> 00:53:57,448
Do you consider
yourself gay or bi?
912
00:53:59,658 --> 00:54:00,237
Neither.
913
00:54:00,316 --> 00:54:01,165
I'm straight.
914
00:54:01,693 --> 00:54:03,562
But you can fit more of
my cock down your throat
915
00:54:03,587 --> 00:54:04,802
than a porn star.
916
00:54:04,928 --> 00:54:07,036
You jackhammer my
butt like it's payday
917
00:54:07,061 --> 00:54:08,270
at the construction site.
918
00:54:08,694 --> 00:54:09,962
Question two.
919
00:54:10,282 --> 00:54:11,801
How can you consider
yourself straight?
920
00:54:12,718 --> 00:54:13,586
Question one.
921
00:54:13,873 --> 00:54:15,408
How can you consider
yourself bi?
922
00:54:15,619 --> 00:54:16,666
What are you talking about?
923
00:54:16,854 --> 00:54:19,256
After my bachelor party, you
said that you were bisexual.
924
00:54:19,607 --> 00:54:21,475
But since then, every
relationship you've told
925
00:54:21,500 --> 00:54:23,102
me about has been with dudes.
926
00:54:23,528 --> 00:54:24,244
What gives?
927
00:54:24,681 --> 00:54:27,984
It's an evolution from
straight, to curious,
928
00:54:28,009 --> 00:54:29,911
to bisexual, to gay.
929
00:54:30,408 --> 00:54:32,277
I call it the
Elton John Parkway.
930
00:54:32,533 --> 00:54:33,972
I just got off at the
Ricky Martin exit.
931
00:54:36,066 --> 00:54:37,267
So you're gay
932
00:54:37,492 --> 00:54:38,040
Yeah.
933
00:54:38,666 --> 00:54:39,493
And you're straight.
934
00:54:39,858 --> 00:54:42,826
Yeah But I can admit I'm gay.
935
00:54:42,851 --> 00:54:43,964
Why can't you be gay?
Why-
936
00:54:43,989 --> 00:54:44,889
I like women, Lewis.
937
00:54:44,914 --> 00:54:45,848
I always have.
938
00:54:45,987 --> 00:54:48,368
I just like to suck
dick once in awhile.
939
00:54:49,385 --> 00:54:51,257
Have you had sex with
any men other than me?
940
00:54:51,580 --> 00:54:52,022
No.
941
00:54:52,834 --> 00:54:54,286
Why do you think I meet
you here every year?
942
00:54:54,311 --> 00:54:57,357
To get all those urges
out of my system.
943
00:54:58,787 --> 00:54:59,986
I'm a gay pressure valve.
944
00:55:00,356 --> 00:55:00,963
No.
945
00:55:01,655 --> 00:55:02,635
You're my best friend.
946
00:55:03,668 --> 00:55:04,924
I couldn't do it
with anybody else.
947
00:55:08,463 --> 00:55:09,363
You know what I think?
948
00:55:10,045 --> 00:55:14,089
I think you're bisexual
with a preference for women.
949
00:55:15,826 --> 00:55:16,863
Can we agree on that?
950
00:55:18,162 --> 00:55:19,517
50/50, so to speak.
951
00:55:20,643 --> 00:55:22,060
Well this is
definitely a mood killer.
952
00:55:23,070 --> 00:55:26,474
I'm just trying to
figure out how you
953
00:55:26,731 --> 00:55:28,066
justify what it is we do here.
954
00:55:28,091 --> 00:55:29,680
Why do we need to justify it?
955
00:55:29,853 --> 00:55:31,988
Let's just have some fun and
leave all that heavy shit
956
00:55:32,013 --> 00:55:33,520
outside in the real world.
957
00:55:33,746 --> 00:55:37,907
Uh, I believe you're the one
dragging the real world in here
958
00:55:38,449 --> 00:55:41,035
with this I won't kiss mantra.
959
00:55:41,497 --> 00:55:46,069
If you truly believe that this
hotel suite was fantasy land,
960
00:55:46,563 --> 00:55:48,965
a kiss wouldn't mean anything.
961
00:55:49,285 --> 00:55:52,388
Hell, throwing your legs
up wouldn't mean anything.
962
00:55:52,652 --> 00:55:54,387
Being bi--
- Straight.
963
00:55:54,613 --> 00:55:55,938
--Wouldn't mean anything.
964
00:55:55,963 --> 00:55:56,852
Can we just drop it?
965
00:55:57,502 --> 00:56:00,172
All I want is a little
oral sex, mano a mano.
966
00:56:00,335 --> 00:56:02,516
Not for me to be staring
at ink blots while I do it.
967
00:56:04,487 --> 00:56:06,483
I thought I was the comic
and you were the straight man.
968
00:56:08,691 --> 00:56:10,143
Nest, you'll say
I have daddy issues.
969
00:56:11,117 --> 00:56:13,577
Well-- sorry.
970
00:56:16,837 --> 00:56:18,620
You got your Freud
in my Dr. Ruth.
971
00:56:19,424 --> 00:56:21,623
You got your Dr.
Ruth in my Freud.
972
00:56:27,349 --> 00:56:28,057
Shots?
973
00:56:29,704 --> 00:56:30,104
No.
974
00:56:38,206 --> 00:56:39,810
You got two more
questions to ask me.
975
00:56:40,604 --> 00:56:41,701
I don't feel like playing.
976
00:56:42,605 --> 00:56:43,669
Come on.
977
00:56:45,502 --> 00:56:46,497
What's your favorite color?
978
00:56:48,894 --> 00:56:50,065
How about some music?
979
00:56:50,676 --> 00:56:51,343
Whatever.
980
00:56:53,217 --> 00:56:54,952
[music playing]
981
00:56:57,064 --> 00:56:59,062
Hey, do you recognize this?
982
00:57:01,748 --> 00:57:03,715
It's the song the Wife and I
danced to at the reception.
983
00:57:07,278 --> 00:57:07,911
Come on, Lewis.
984
00:57:08,867 --> 00:57:09,534
It's four years ago.
985
00:57:10,721 --> 00:57:12,489
[music playing]
986
00:57:35,715 --> 00:57:36,659
This is nice.
987
00:57:37,940 --> 00:57:39,508
Yes, it is.
988
00:57:41,469 --> 00:57:42,737
[music playing]
989
00:57:48,102 --> 00:57:49,352
I would have bet
you didn't have
990
00:57:49,377 --> 00:57:50,694
a romantic bone in your body.
991
00:57:52,141 --> 00:57:53,462
You can put this
in one of your books.
992
00:57:54,412 --> 00:57:55,324
You have my permission.
993
00:57:55,764 --> 00:57:56,379
Thank you.
994
00:57:57,830 --> 00:57:59,825
All I want is
10% of the gross.
995
00:58:02,261 --> 00:58:04,661
This scene is too
sappy for a book.
996
00:58:06,793 --> 00:58:10,009
It's better suited for a
drippy, melodramatic play or
997
00:58:11,694 --> 00:58:13,756
some dopey, independent film.
998
00:58:14,849 --> 00:58:15,810
You're selling us short.
999
00:58:17,418 --> 00:58:18,263
No, I'm not.
1000
00:58:19,758 --> 00:58:21,039
You're selling somebody short.
1001
00:58:27,420 --> 00:58:29,654
So how about them Cubs.
1002
00:58:29,835 --> 00:58:30,725
Shut it.
1003
00:58:34,998 --> 00:58:36,019
You're not a bad dancer.
1004
00:58:36,339 --> 00:58:37,113
Where'd you learn that?
1005
00:58:38,440 --> 00:58:39,441
When you have
two older sisters
1006
00:58:39,466 --> 00:58:42,243
that look like your
father, you learn to dance.
1007
00:58:45,188 --> 00:58:45,504
Dip?
1008
00:58:52,103 --> 00:58:53,125
Nicely done.
1009
00:58:57,459 --> 00:58:57,971
And you?
1010
00:59:00,676 --> 00:59:01,890
My grandma, Rose.
1011
00:59:02,973 --> 00:59:03,815
Did I ever meet her?
1012
00:59:05,267 --> 00:59:05,736
No.
1013
00:59:07,001 --> 00:59:09,872
She lived alone in a
big house in Salem.
1014
00:59:14,508 --> 00:59:18,925
On the second floor, at the end
of the hall was a locked door.
1015
00:59:19,578 --> 00:59:22,498
And whenever I'd ask
her what was inside,
1016
00:59:23,163 --> 00:59:24,676
she'd put finger to her lips.
1017
00:59:25,092 --> 00:59:26,339
Ssh.
1018
00:59:27,932 --> 00:59:28,829
And one day
1019
00:59:29,593 --> 00:59:30,542
when
we were alone
1020
00:59:31,073 --> 00:59:31,938
she showed me this
1021
00:59:32,337 --> 00:59:33,867
old fashioned key
1022
00:59:34,297 --> 00:59:35,857
hanging from a thin blue ribbon
1023
00:59:35,882 --> 00:59:36,546
around her neck
1024
00:59:37,521 --> 00:59:38,059
and said
1025
00:59:38,614 --> 00:59:39,350
Lewis,
1026
00:59:40,730 --> 00:59:42,873
would you like to see
what's in the secret room?
1027
00:59:44,059 --> 00:59:47,522
I almost peed myself waiting
for her to unlock that door.
1028
00:59:49,189 --> 00:59:49,693
So?
1029
00:59:50,639 --> 00:59:51,481
What was inside?
1030
00:59:52,884 --> 00:59:53,728
Another bedroom.
1031
00:59:54,959 --> 00:59:55,722
That's it?
1032
00:59:56,304 --> 00:59:57,213
No.
1033
01:00:04,223 --> 01:00:06,446
This one was really fancy
1034
01:00:07,274 --> 01:00:08,961
with a big canopy bed,
1035
01:00:09,424 --> 01:00:13,022
frilly curtains on the
Windows, pink wallpaper,
1036
01:00:13,617 --> 01:00:15,419
an antique dressing
table, and there
1037
01:00:16,882 --> 01:00:20,651
was a huge fireplace
with crying cupids carved
1038
01:00:20,676 --> 01:00:23,136
into the marble mantelpiece.
1039
01:00:24,082 --> 01:00:25,393
And along one wall,
1040
01:00:26,206 --> 01:00:28,206
stacked
from the floor almost
1041
01:00:28,238 --> 01:00:30,556
to the ceiling, where hatboxes.
1042
01:00:31,112 --> 01:00:33,947
Towers and towers of hat boxes.
1043
01:00:36,081 --> 01:00:38,054
Grandma Rose told
me to look inside.
1044
01:00:38,079 --> 01:00:38,563
So
1045
01:00:38,904 --> 01:00:39,943
I took one down,
1046
01:00:40,767 --> 01:00:41,865
removed the lid,
1047
01:00:42,831 --> 01:00:43,862
and inside
1048
01:00:47,956 --> 01:00:48,968
was a human head.
1049
01:00:49,533 --> 01:00:50,085
What?
1050
01:00:50,934 --> 01:00:52,599
OK, you're paying attention.
1051
01:00:54,348 --> 01:00:54,797
Dick.
1052
01:00:57,000 --> 01:00:58,837
Inside was a hat, of course.
1053
01:00:59,506 --> 01:01:03,076
It was purple felt with
feathers and beads.
1054
01:01:04,179 --> 01:01:05,381
It looked brand new.
1055
01:01:06,861 --> 01:01:08,596
And with it was
a paperback book.
1056
01:01:09,017 --> 01:01:09,799
A romance book.
1057
01:01:11,649 --> 01:01:13,772
It was the same in
every box I opened.
1058
01:01:14,092 --> 01:01:15,894
Hats and books.
1059
01:01:16,845 --> 01:01:18,101
Grandma Rose told me that
1060
01:01:19,132 --> 01:01:20,278
after Grandpa died,
1061
01:01:21,153 --> 01:01:22,241
every few months,
1062
01:01:23,102 --> 01:01:25,930
she'd go into town and
buy a hat and a book.
1063
01:01:27,417 --> 01:01:31,385
Then, after dinner, she'd
sit at the dressing table,
1064
01:01:31,929 --> 01:01:35,462
put on her makeup, her
best dress, the hat,
1065
01:01:36,421 --> 01:01:38,865
and sit in a chair by the
window reading her stories.
1066
01:01:41,390 --> 01:01:43,023
Her favorite hat was
1067
01:01:44,062 --> 01:01:44,977
pale pink with
1068
01:01:45,758 --> 01:01:47,227
cream colored pearls.
1069
01:01:48,219 --> 01:01:52,105
And her favorite book was called
Tales of True Love and Romance.
1070
01:01:54,972 --> 01:01:58,754
Whenever we were alone,
we'd go to the secret room,
1071
01:01:59,285 --> 01:02:02,628
put on our hats, and
dance to the radio.
1072
01:02:07,956 --> 01:02:08,921
When she died
1073
01:02:10,851 --> 01:02:12,387
, I
packed up her things.
1074
01:02:13,897 --> 01:02:16,530
I tore up the house looking
for the key to that room.
1075
01:02:18,599 --> 01:02:20,093
I was afraid it had
been buried with her.
1076
01:02:22,189 --> 01:02:24,266
But finally, I found it.
1077
01:02:25,904 --> 01:02:28,573
It was the first time I'd
opened the room by myself.
1078
01:02:28,745 --> 01:02:32,235
And I was so nervous,
my fingers trembled.
1079
01:02:35,097 --> 01:02:36,054
But it looked the same
1080
01:02:37,500 --> 01:02:38,421
exactly the same.
1081
01:02:41,088 --> 01:02:42,979
But when I opened
one of the hat boxes,
1082
01:02:43,594 --> 01:02:47,186
it was empty, except for
a page torn out of a book.
1083
01:02:48,131 --> 01:02:48,755
Her favorite book.
1084
01:02:52,880 --> 01:02:54,585
I opened every single box, Coop.
1085
01:02:56,874 --> 01:02:59,448
I wanted to find the
pink hat with the pearls.
1086
01:03:01,647 --> 01:03:02,514
But they were all empty.
1087
01:03:03,577 --> 01:03:06,713
All empty except for
pages torn from tales
1088
01:03:06,738 --> 01:03:08,363
of true love and romance.
1089
01:03:11,813 --> 01:03:12,834
That's when I noticed
1090
01:03:15,038 --> 01:03:16,279
in the fireplace,
1091
01:03:18,355 --> 01:03:20,171
underneath the crying cupids,
1092
01:03:22,390 --> 01:03:24,037
a scorched set of pearls
1093
01:03:24,314 --> 01:03:25,385
and a mound of ashes.
1094
01:03:28,859 --> 01:03:30,943
She'd burned her hats.
1095
01:03:32,744 --> 01:03:33,266
All of them.
1096
01:03:40,244 --> 01:03:43,147
On the mirror of her
dresser, she taped a picture
1097
01:03:43,172 --> 01:03:44,607
of herself holding the book.
1098
01:03:46,387 --> 01:03:47,470
She looked sad.
1099
01:03:50,559 --> 01:03:51,667
On the back she'd written
1100
01:03:53,232 --> 01:03:53,810
you can't find
1101
01:03:53,835 --> 01:03:55,401
love in a locked room, Lewis.
1102
01:03:56,799 --> 01:03:57,934
You can read about life,
1103
01:03:58,481 --> 01:03:59,184
or you can live it.
1104
01:04:01,606 --> 01:04:02,172
Be happy-
1105
01:04:03,374 --> 01:04:04,220
Grandma Rose.
1106
01:04:06,820 --> 01:04:07,819
Or you can write about it.
1107
01:04:15,605 --> 01:04:16,347
Come on, Lewis.
1108
01:04:16,825 --> 01:04:17,451
Let's live.
1109
01:04:52,693 --> 01:04:53,470
[whispering] Coop, are you?
1110
01:04:53,495 --> 01:04:54,262
[whispering] Yeah, yeah.
1111
01:04:54,363 --> 01:04:55,162
Just, just do it.
1112
01:05:20,576 --> 01:05:21,410
[whispering] OK.
1113
01:05:26,236 --> 01:05:26,835
Breathe.
1114
01:05:27,475 --> 01:05:28,242
Just breathe.
1115
01:05:46,730 --> 01:05:48,065
How does it feel?
1116
01:05:57,353 --> 01:05:57,774
Sorry.
1117
01:05:58,283 --> 01:05:58,586
Sorry.
1118
01:06:23,888 --> 01:06:25,034
Lew... Lewis
1119
01:06:25,645 --> 01:06:26,174
What?
1120
01:06:26,593 --> 01:06:27,717
Lewis, take it out.
1121
01:06:27,742 --> 01:06:28,397
Take it out.
1122
01:06:30,783 --> 01:06:31,517
Oh god.
1123
01:06:46,753 --> 01:06:47,322
Cooper?
1124
01:06:48,392 --> 01:06:49,010
Hey, Coop?
1125
01:06:49,362 --> 01:06:49,885
What?
1126
01:06:51,908 --> 01:06:52,942
It's OK, dude.
1127
01:06:53,207 --> 01:06:54,365
Shit happens.
1128
01:06:56,394 --> 01:06:57,361
That's not funny.
1129
01:07:00,060 --> 01:07:02,797
Look, it's my fault.
I should've prepped you.
1130
01:07:07,083 --> 01:07:07,500
How?
1131
01:07:18,128 --> 01:07:18,862
Let me in.
1132
01:07:24,348 --> 01:07:24,798
OK.
1133
01:07:24,933 --> 01:07:26,828
Now tell me when the
water's lukewarm.
1134
01:07:29,884 --> 01:07:31,796
Empty this out, and
refill it with tap Water.
1135
01:07:32,004 --> 01:07:33,029
LA tap water?
1136
01:07:33,054 --> 01:07:34,339
You'll be fine.
1137
01:07:35,032 --> 01:07:36,614
Now, put the cap back on.
1138
01:07:38,894 --> 01:07:39,694
See the nozzle?
1139
01:07:40,123 --> 01:07:40,657
Yeah.
1140
01:07:42,124 --> 01:07:43,107
OK, bend over.
1141
01:07:43,848 --> 01:07:44,267
What?
1142
01:07:45,004 --> 01:07:45,888
You heard me.
1143
01:07:45,913 --> 01:07:47,808
Grab your ankles and open wide.
1144
01:07:48,834 --> 01:07:50,569
Aah.
1145
01:07:50,606 --> 01:07:51,340
Wrong end.
1146
01:07:54,398 --> 01:07:57,210
- That's fucking cold.
- Be a man.
1147
01:07:57,235 --> 01:07:58,766
Until five minutes
ago, I was a man.
1148
01:07:59,700 --> 01:08:01,084
OK, now sit.
1149
01:08:05,045 --> 01:08:06,312
Can I have some
privacy, please?
1150
01:08:09,524 --> 01:08:10,244
Rinse and repeat.
1151
01:08:23,377 --> 01:08:24,778
Justin stood above her.
1152
01:08:25,372 --> 01:08:29,924
The sun behind his head
making his long, flowing hair
1153
01:08:30,269 --> 01:08:34,253
normally the color of wheat glow
with the brilliance of gold.
1154
01:08:34,618 --> 01:08:37,081
Lorelei felt her
heart beating rapidly,
1155
01:08:37,830 --> 01:08:41,939
mindful of every single
bead of sweat on her breast.
1156
01:08:43,591 --> 01:08:47,161
I give myself to you,
my dear, Justin said.
1157
01:08:47,496 --> 01:08:51,582
His voice deep and echoing
as if from inside a barrel.
1158
01:08:52,845 --> 01:08:56,675
From this moment on, I am
yours, as you are mine.
1159
01:08:57,103 --> 01:09:00,557
Our names branded in fire
on each other's souls.
1160
01:09:03,112 --> 01:09:04,347
[toilet flushing]
1161
01:09:06,078 --> 01:09:07,400
Sound of success.
1162
01:09:20,767 --> 01:09:22,235
How do you feel?
1163
01:09:22,406 --> 01:09:24,646
Like somebody opened
a water park in my ass.
1164
01:09:26,478 --> 01:09:27,451
Do you still want to do it?
1165
01:09:28,556 --> 01:09:30,131
I didn't come this
far to give up now.
1166
01:09:31,190 --> 01:09:31,701
Wait.
1167
01:09:32,321 --> 01:09:32,895
On your back.
1168
01:09:50,680 --> 01:09:51,481
I'll show you.
1169
01:10:03,573 --> 01:10:04,474
What do you know?
1170
01:10:04,802 --> 01:10:06,304
They do look you in the eye.
1171
01:10:19,885 --> 01:10:20,720
Look at me.
1172
01:10:30,622 --> 01:10:31,423
How is it?
1173
01:10:32,095 --> 01:10:33,334
Does it feel good?
1174
01:10:36,418 --> 01:10:37,763
I'm guessing yes.
1175
01:10:39,921 --> 01:10:41,446
You feel so good, Coop.
1176
01:10:41,943 --> 01:10:43,224
I never thought
this would happen.
1177
01:10:43,773 --> 01:10:44,581
Lewis.
1178
01:10:46,283 --> 01:10:47,549
You're so tight.
1179
01:10:47,968 --> 01:10:49,002
Lewis.
1180
01:10:49,738 --> 01:10:51,227
It's like fucking a keyhole.
1181
01:10:51,252 --> 01:10:51,952
Lewis!
1182
01:10:52,866 --> 01:10:53,533
What?
1183
01:10:53,558 --> 01:10:54,579
Will you shut the hell up?
1184
01:10:55,849 --> 01:10:56,617
Oh, yeah.
1185
01:10:57,194 --> 01:10:57,928
Right there.
1186
01:11:01,614 --> 01:11:02,916
[moaning sex sounds]
1187
01:11:04,934 --> 01:11:05,668
Oh, shit!
1188
01:11:06,214 --> 01:11:07,949
[moaning sex sounds]
1189
01:11:30,647 --> 01:11:31,180
Lewis.
1190
01:11:32,626 --> 01:11:33,148
Lewis!
1191
01:11:33,173 --> 01:11:33,841
Get off of me!
1192
01:11:39,863 --> 01:11:41,650
[vomit sounds]
1193
01:11:43,413 --> 01:11:43,976
Cooper?
1194
01:11:44,711 --> 01:11:45,632
You all right?
1195
01:11:49,510 --> 01:11:49,994
Coop?
1196
01:11:51,149 --> 01:11:52,383
[toilet flushing]
1197
01:12:02,998 --> 01:12:03,714
Are you OK?
1198
01:12:05,234 --> 01:12:06,201
[vibrating phone sound]
1199
01:12:06,226 --> 01:12:07,335
Motherfucker!
1200
01:12:08,422 --> 01:12:09,089
Hello?
1201
01:12:09,622 --> 01:12:10,511
I wasn't near my phone.
1202
01:12:10,536 --> 01:12:10,979
Why?
1203
01:12:14,384 --> 01:12:14,887
When?
1204
01:12:16,709 --> 01:12:17,593
Is she OK?
1205
01:12:21,881 --> 01:12:23,077
And what about,
what about the baby?
1206
01:12:27,084 --> 01:12:27,679
All right.
1207
01:12:27,704 --> 01:12:28,371
Which hospital?
1208
01:12:31,019 --> 01:12:32,120
OK, yeah.
All right.
1209
01:12:32,503 --> 01:12:32,889
All right.
1210
01:12:32,914 --> 01:12:33,952
I'm on my way.
1211
01:12:37,517 --> 01:12:38,652
Is everything OK?
1212
01:12:39,237 --> 01:12:40,272
Of course not, Lewis.
1213
01:12:40,395 --> 01:12:41,709
When you hear the word hospital
in a phone conversation,
1214
01:12:41,734 --> 01:12:42,435
it's never OK.
1215
01:12:47,466 --> 01:12:48,200
It was the wife.
1216
01:12:50,596 --> 01:12:51,926
The baby came prematurely.
1217
01:12:54,336 --> 01:12:55,204
How are they doing?
1218
01:12:58,911 --> 01:13:00,054
It was iffy for a while.
1219
01:13:01,114 --> 01:13:03,355
But yeah, they're both fine.
1220
01:13:11,787 --> 01:13:13,352
I never meant for
things to get this far.
1221
01:13:18,615 --> 01:13:19,832
Promise me something, Lewis.
1222
01:13:22,220 --> 01:13:22,627
What?
1223
01:13:24,554 --> 01:13:27,444
Promise me that We will
never do this again, ever.
1224
01:13:29,781 --> 01:13:32,818
We can still meet up
for dinner or drinks.
1225
01:13:33,185 --> 01:13:34,534
Or a good cigar?
1226
01:13:37,128 --> 01:13:37,795
Yeah.
1227
01:13:45,631 --> 01:13:46,444
I love you, Lewis.
1228
01:13:47,494 --> 01:13:48,312
Love you, Coop.
1229
01:13:52,452 --> 01:13:53,332
I'm a dad!
1230
01:14:25,546 --> 01:14:28,605
[music playing]
1231
01:15:45,295 --> 01:15:46,029
Fuck.
1232
01:16:01,977 --> 01:16:03,563
[phone ringing]
1233
01:16:03,588 --> 01:16:04,047
Hello?
1234
01:16:05,512 --> 01:16:06,289
Hey, Lewis.
1235
01:16:06,742 --> 01:16:07,178
It's Coop.
1236
01:16:07,989 --> 01:16:09,123
Hey, buddy.
1237
01:16:09,232 --> 01:16:10,256
Where are you?
1238
01:16:11,256 --> 01:16:13,667
Um, I've been here
for two hours.
1239
01:16:14,784 --> 01:16:15,849
How are you, Lewis?
1240
01:16:16,772 --> 01:16:17,662
It's good to hear your voice.
1241
01:16:18,649 --> 01:16:19,393
You too.
1242
01:16:20,656 --> 01:16:22,046
Uh, what number is this?
1243
01:16:22,071 --> 01:16:23,233
I didn't recognize it.
1244
01:16:23,924 --> 01:16:24,970
It's the home phone.
1245
01:16:25,073 --> 01:16:25,946
I lost my cell.
1246
01:16:28,566 --> 01:16:29,593
So where are you?
1247
01:16:29,618 --> 01:16:30,382
What's keeping you?
1248
01:16:31,506 --> 01:16:33,265
Um, look Lewis, I'm
not coming this year.
1249
01:16:39,772 --> 01:16:40,319
Why not?
1250
01:16:41,200 --> 01:16:42,234
My sister is visiting.
1251
01:16:42,562 --> 01:16:43,272
Her family's here.
1252
01:16:46,260 --> 01:16:47,140
[sigh] You can't get away?
1253
01:16:48,520 --> 01:16:49,971
I'm just having
trouble with this.
1254
01:16:52,331 --> 01:16:53,172
I feel guilty.
1255
01:16:55,007 --> 01:16:55,539
Then
1256
01:16:56,906 --> 01:16:59,368
you should jump
in your car and come over.
1257
01:17:00,590 --> 01:17:02,703
I've got the cure for
your guilt right here.
1258
01:17:03,567 --> 01:17:04,273
What's that?
1259
01:17:05,118 --> 01:17:07,788
Your favorite
whiskey and cigars.
1260
01:17:08,580 --> 01:17:10,766
You're making me-- you're
making this hard for me.
1261
01:17:12,003 --> 01:17:13,180
Literally, I hope.
1262
01:17:13,839 --> 01:17:14,612
God, Lewis.
1263
01:17:15,026 --> 01:17:17,684
No, I have to be strong.
1264
01:17:19,974 --> 01:17:21,079
The double blended whisky?
1265
01:17:21,534 --> 01:17:22,431
Of course.
1266
01:17:23,817 --> 01:17:24,885
I can't, Lewis.
1267
01:17:25,111 --> 01:17:25,845
I'm sorry.
1268
01:17:26,250 --> 01:17:27,295
We'll have to
forget it this year.
1269
01:17:28,092 --> 01:17:30,383
It's not fair to the
wife, to my family,
1270
01:17:31,805 --> 01:17:32,641
and it's not fair to you.
1271
01:17:34,917 --> 01:17:36,747
How is it not fair to me?
1272
01:17:38,153 --> 01:17:40,287
I just don't want to give you
the wrong impression, you know.
1273
01:17:41,155 --> 01:17:43,725
Sometimes I feel like you
think this is going somewhere,
1274
01:17:43,750 --> 01:17:45,281
and it can't.
1275
01:17:49,559 --> 01:17:53,863
Have I ever said I wanted
anything more than what We do?
1276
01:17:54,441 --> 01:17:55,620
Well, no.
1277
01:17:57,480 --> 01:17:59,673
Then, Why would
you think I do?
1278
01:18:01,528 --> 01:18:01,968
Wait.
1279
01:18:03,193 --> 01:18:03,994
Do you?
1280
01:18:04,422 --> 01:18:05,089
No, no.
1281
01:18:05,114 --> 01:18:05,593
That's not it.
1282
01:18:06,608 --> 01:18:07,897
I have to be a grown up now.
1283
01:18:09,966 --> 01:18:10,656
You know
1284
01:18:11,966 --> 01:18:13,756
a wise man once said to me
1285
01:18:15,241 --> 01:18:15,850
let's just take
1286
01:18:15,875 --> 01:18:17,014
one day a year
1287
01:18:17,394 --> 01:18:18,363
and say fuck it.
1288
01:18:18,980 --> 01:18:21,621
Let's lie in bed
and screw all day.
1289
01:18:23,440 --> 01:18:25,242
Whatever happened to that guy?
1290
01:18:26,580 --> 01:18:28,081
Somehow, he got
stuck with a wife,
1291
01:18:28,292 --> 01:18:31,824
a kid, a mortgage, and a badly
timed sense of responsibility.
1292
01:18:34,239 --> 01:18:34,804
Tell you what.
1293
01:18:35,742 --> 01:18:36,568
Why don't we just
1294
01:18:37,685 --> 01:18:38,693
go out to dinner tonight?
1295
01:18:39,982 --> 01:18:41,602
Some steaks.
1296
01:18:41,627 --> 01:18:42,509
Some wine.
1297
01:18:43,593 --> 01:18:45,502
Let's just hang
out and catch up.
1298
01:18:47,108 --> 01:18:48,127
That's harmless, right?
1299
01:18:49,462 --> 01:18:50,087
No sex?
1300
01:18:51,546 --> 01:18:52,550
No sex.
1301
01:18:54,004 --> 01:18:55,170
That sounds OK.
1302
01:18:57,194 --> 01:18:59,042
And at dinner, if our legs
1303
01:18:59,589 --> 01:19:01,182
happen to touch and
1304
01:19:02,032 --> 01:19:03,889
I rub my calf against yours,
1305
01:19:04,819 --> 01:19:05,391
there's nothing wrong
1306
01:19:05,416 --> 01:19:06,550
with hand-job under the table.
1307
01:19:06,575 --> 01:19:06,981
Right?
1308
01:19:07,443 --> 01:19:08,426
Damn it, Lewis.
1309
01:19:10,565 --> 01:19:11,724
Would you really do that?
1310
01:19:12,115 --> 01:19:13,563
Oh, you know I would, buddy.
1311
01:19:15,017 --> 01:19:16,898
I'd make you bite
your lip and sweat.
1312
01:19:18,870 --> 01:19:19,843
Oh, fuck.
1313
01:19:21,990 --> 01:19:22,724
What are you wearing?
1314
01:19:25,680 --> 01:19:26,937
Jeans and a t-shirt.
1315
01:19:28,290 --> 01:19:29,391
Are your jeans
around your ankles?
1316
01:19:33,431 --> 01:19:34,286
They are now.
1317
01:19:35,139 --> 01:19:35,676
Oh, hold on.
1318
01:19:38,424 --> 01:19:39,197
What did you do?
1319
01:19:40,067 --> 01:19:41,204
Locked the bedroom door.
1320
01:19:42,486 --> 01:19:43,062
Keep talking.
1321
01:19:44,085 --> 01:19:45,974
What would we be
doing if I was there?
1322
01:19:46,775 --> 01:19:48,217
I'd pull your shirt off.
1323
01:19:49,984 --> 01:19:53,338
Then, I'd slowly rub my
hands across your chest,
1324
01:19:54,755 --> 01:19:56,234
pinching your nipples,
1325
01:19:57,437 --> 01:19:59,437
and holding you close against me.
1326
01:20:00,392 --> 01:20:01,193
Yeah.
1327
01:20:01,466 --> 01:20:02,220
Are you hard?
1328
01:20:04,221 --> 01:20:05,102
Yeah.
1329
01:20:06,496 --> 01:20:07,164
Are you?
1330
01:20:07,547 --> 01:20:08,559
Oh yeah.
1331
01:20:09,912 --> 01:20:10,486
Is it out?
1332
01:20:11,131 --> 01:20:11,377
Yeah.
1333
01:20:11,402 --> 01:20:12,057
Don't stop.
1334
01:20:14,534 --> 01:20:16,043
I can feel you against
me,
1335
01:20:17,176 --> 01:20:18,697
hard and throbbing.
1336
01:20:19,129 --> 01:20:20,409
Ah, yeah.
1337
01:20:21,757 --> 01:20:23,193
I'd take it in
my hand
1338
01:20:23,990 --> 01:20:24,758
and stroke it
1339
01:20:25,718 --> 01:20:26,687
like you're doing now.
1340
01:20:28,623 --> 01:20:30,557
My hand is warm and firm.
1341
01:20:32,369 --> 01:20:33,175
Can you feel it?
1342
01:20:33,863 --> 01:20:35,166
Yeah, I can.
1343
01:20:37,522 --> 01:20:39,275
I'd pull you
close and kiss you.
1344
01:20:39,706 --> 01:20:40,557
I don't do that.
1345
01:20:41,260 --> 01:20:41,657
Hey,
1346
01:20:42,132 --> 01:20:43,080
it's a fantasy.
1347
01:20:43,247 --> 01:20:45,135
You'll kiss a monkey
if I want, so shut up.
1348
01:20:45,963 --> 01:20:47,069
OK, fuck it.
1349
01:20:47,874 --> 01:20:48,388
Kiss me.
1350
01:20:49,356 --> 01:20:50,445
Stick your tongue in my mouth.
1351
01:20:52,699 --> 01:20:54,118
I'd push you back
on the bed
1352
01:20:56,899 --> 01:20:57,394
and grab
1353
01:20:57,419 --> 01:20:58,266
your legs,
1354
01:20:59,397 --> 01:21:00,547
pushing them back.
1355
01:21:00,764 --> 01:21:01,643
Give it to me, Lewis.
1356
01:21:01,668 --> 01:21:02,979
I want it.
1357
01:21:04,937 --> 01:21:06,236
I'd grease us both up
1358
01:21:06,900 --> 01:21:08,502
and push into you.
1359
01:21:09,168 --> 01:21:10,496
Give it to me, Lewis.
1360
01:21:10,521 --> 01:21:11,222
I can take it.
1361
01:21:13,510 --> 01:21:14,224
[deep breathing]
1362
01:21:15,824 --> 01:21:16,917
I'm still screwing you
1363
01:21:19,916 --> 01:21:20,750
watching the look of lust
1364
01:21:20,775 --> 01:21:21,781
on your face.
1365
01:21:22,496 --> 01:21:23,040
Faster, dude.
1366
01:21:24,026 --> 01:21:25,101
Go faster.
1367
01:21:25,568 --> 01:21:26,543
I need it bad.
1368
01:21:27,831 --> 01:21:28,438
Do you, Coop?
1369
01:21:29,213 --> 01:21:30,156
Do you need it bad?
1370
01:21:30,819 --> 01:21:31,382
Yeah, I do.
1371
01:21:31,892 --> 01:21:33,261
I dream about us sometimes.
1372
01:21:33,604 --> 01:21:34,271
Come on, Lewis.
1373
01:21:34,372 --> 01:21:34,865
Pound me.
1374
01:21:36,185 --> 01:21:37,199
Beg me for it.
1375
01:21:38,421 --> 01:21:39,423
Please, Lewis.
1376
01:21:40,178 --> 01:21:41,046
Please, take me.
1377
01:21:41,420 --> 01:21:42,088
It's yours.
1378
01:21:42,113 --> 01:21:43,148
It fucking belongs to you.
1379
01:21:45,636 --> 01:21:46,437
Shit.
1380
01:21:46,717 --> 01:21:47,451
I'm close.
1381
01:21:47,938 --> 01:21:48,993
You gonna juice me?
1382
01:21:49,868 --> 01:21:50,530
Lewis, you gonna--
1383
01:21:50,555 --> 01:21:51,124
Hello?
1384
01:21:53,479 --> 01:21:55,613
Uncle Cooper, are
you on the phone?
1385
01:21:57,235 --> 01:21:57,887
Uh, you bet, Todd.
1386
01:21:57,912 --> 01:21:58,668
What's up, buddy?
1387
01:21:59,315 --> 01:22:00,819
Who are you talking to?
1388
01:22:01,611 --> 01:22:02,845
My friend, Lewis.
1389
01:22:03,172 --> 01:22:04,073
Do you remember him?
1390
01:22:04,479 --> 01:22:05,282
No.
1391
01:22:05,798 --> 01:22:06,497
Never mind.
1392
01:22:07,200 --> 01:22:08,510
My sister's boy, Lewis.
1393
01:22:10,235 --> 01:22:10,770
[Sigh]
- Hey, Todd.
1394
01:22:10,915 --> 01:22:11,816
How you doing, kiddo?
1395
01:22:12,315 --> 01:22:13,089
Fine.
1396
01:22:13,467 --> 01:22:14,705
Say, Todd Meister,
1397
01:22:15,353 --> 01:22:16,718
hang up so Lewis and I can talk.
1398
01:22:16,743 --> 01:22:17,124
OK?
1399
01:22:17,821 --> 01:22:19,539
What you gonna talk about?
1400
01:22:19,901 --> 01:22:20,654
Grown up stuff.
1401
01:22:21,758 --> 01:22:23,592
OK, bye.
1402
01:22:25,380 --> 01:22:26,168
Bye, Todd.
1403
01:22:27,739 --> 01:22:29,177
[laughing]
1404
01:22:29,875 --> 01:22:31,248
That was intense.
1405
01:22:31,982 --> 01:22:32,682
I know.
1406
01:22:33,182 --> 01:22:34,350
Does your sister homeschool?
1407
01:22:34,395 --> 01:22:35,797
Cause her kid almost
got an education.
1408
01:22:35,822 --> 01:22:36,707
Ba bing!
1409
01:22:36,932 --> 01:22:37,612
No, I meant
1410
01:22:38,464 --> 01:22:39,053
before.
1411
01:22:40,830 --> 01:22:41,663
That was really hot.
1412
01:22:42,433 --> 01:22:43,917
Yeah, it was.
1413
01:22:47,569 --> 01:22:48,891
Do you really dream
about it, Coop?
1414
01:22:50,238 --> 01:22:50,790
Sometimes.
1415
01:22:53,023 --> 01:22:54,010
You're smiling, aren't you?
1416
01:22:55,035 --> 01:22:55,723
Maybe.
1417
01:22:56,712 --> 01:22:57,086
Prick.
1418
01:22:58,409 --> 01:22:58,821
Why?
1419
01:22:59,964 --> 01:23:00,246
Well,
1420
01:23:00,847 --> 01:23:02,823
what a short journey
it's been from
1421
01:23:03,502 --> 01:23:04,939
I don't get fucked
1422
01:23:05,527 --> 01:23:06,313
to fuck me harder.
1423
01:23:06,363 --> 01:23:07,031
Faster!
1424
01:23:07,304 --> 01:23:08,339
[laughing]
1425
01:23:09,197 --> 01:23:10,999
You are a dick.
1426
01:23:13,366 --> 01:23:15,668
Apparently, one
you dream about.
1427
01:23:15,847 --> 01:23:16,508
Repeat
1428
01:23:16,962 --> 01:23:17,629
Dick.
1429
01:23:21,296 --> 01:23:21,930
So
1430
01:23:24,422 --> 01:23:26,646
you want to
come and be abnormal?
1431
01:23:31,818 --> 01:23:32,221
Coop?
1432
01:23:33,671 --> 01:23:34,260
Are you there?
1433
01:23:37,083 --> 01:23:38,284
[sniffling]
1434
01:23:40,034 --> 01:23:40,468
Coop
1435
01:23:41,012 --> 01:23:41,465
[crying]
1436
01:23:41,948 --> 01:23:42,676
What's wrong?
1437
01:23:44,859 --> 01:23:46,096
I wanted to see you, Lewis.
1438
01:23:46,662 --> 01:23:47,329
I really did.
1439
01:23:47,672 --> 01:23:48,268
I miss you.
1440
01:23:49,544 --> 01:23:51,021
I'm so fucking stupid.
1441
01:23:52,678 --> 01:23:53,547
Hey, hey-
1442
01:23:53,946 --> 01:23:54,687
Don't worry about it.
1443
01:23:57,087 --> 01:23:58,188
I try to do the right thing.
1444
01:23:58,213 --> 01:23:59,869
But then, I talk to
you and, suddenly,
1445
01:23:59,894 --> 01:24:00,892
you're the right thing.
1446
01:24:03,490 --> 01:24:03,928
Well
1447
01:24:05,249 --> 01:24:06,104
why,
1448
01:24:06,128 --> 01:24:07,381
Why don't you come over then?
1449
01:24:09,138 --> 01:24:10,490
And it's still early.
1450
01:24:11,638 --> 01:24:12,305
Shit.
1451
01:24:14,346 --> 01:24:15,191
I'd like to.
1452
01:24:15,216 --> 01:24:16,320
I really would.
1453
01:24:18,136 --> 01:24:18,812
But I can't.
1454
01:24:19,888 --> 01:24:21,070
I already have plans at home.
1455
01:24:21,900 --> 01:24:22,282
Sorry.
1456
01:24:24,161 --> 01:24:24,865
It's OK,
1457
01:24:26,294 --> 01:24:26,670
really.
1458
01:24:28,153 --> 01:24:29,020
You miss a year.
1459
01:24:29,254 --> 01:24:30,429
So there's always next year.
1460
01:24:32,965 --> 01:24:33,699
Isn't there?
1461
01:24:38,741 --> 01:24:39,207
We'll see.
1462
01:24:41,755 --> 01:24:42,486
I gotta run.
1463
01:24:44,001 --> 01:24:44,622
Love you, Lewis.
1464
01:24:45,074 --> 01:24:45,842
Love you, Coop.
1465
01:24:58,338 --> 01:24:59,672
[music playing]
1466
01:25:38,727 --> 01:25:39,783
Well here we are, sir.
1467
01:25:40,117 --> 01:25:40,911
Yes, I know.
1468
01:25:40,987 --> 01:25:42,055
I come here every year.
1469
01:25:42,586 --> 01:25:43,954
Oh, you must really
like our hotel.
1470
01:25:52,638 --> 01:25:53,873
It has its charms.
1471
01:25:54,551 --> 01:25:56,185
Would you like me to take
the bag to the bedroom, sir?
1472
01:25:56,481 --> 01:25:57,149
Uh, no.
1473
01:25:57,174 --> 01:25:57,841
No, thanks.
1474
01:25:57,994 --> 01:26:00,353
Uh, um.
1475
01:26:02,545 --> 01:26:03,213
Very well, sir.
1476
01:26:03,238 --> 01:26:04,073
I'll just leave it right here.
1477
01:26:05,655 --> 01:26:06,322
Great.
1478
01:26:08,775 --> 01:26:09,742
This is for you.
1479
01:26:10,320 --> 01:26:10,877
Thank you, sir.
1480
01:26:11,655 --> 01:26:12,656
Enjoy your stay.
1481
01:26:13,006 --> 01:26:13,674
I always do.
1482
01:26:59,438 --> 01:27:00,322
single malt
1483
01:27:01,463 --> 01:27:02,314
So how've you been?
1484
01:27:04,061 --> 01:27:04,644
Fine.
1485
01:27:05,820 --> 01:27:06,318
Yourself?
1486
01:27:07,920 --> 01:27:08,739
Can't complain.
1487
01:27:12,274 --> 01:27:13,111
How's business?
1488
01:27:14,961 --> 01:27:15,754
Very good.
1489
01:27:16,435 --> 01:27:17,894
I just hired four new guys.
1490
01:27:18,578 --> 01:27:19,242
That's great.
1491
01:27:20,465 --> 01:27:21,936
Take your shoes
and socks off, Lewis.
1492
01:27:21,961 --> 01:27:22,695
Get comfortable.
1493
01:27:33,014 --> 01:27:33,680
Kids doing well?
1494
01:27:34,911 --> 01:27:35,578
OK.
1495
01:27:38,798 --> 01:27:39,627
What's all this about?
1496
01:27:40,435 --> 01:27:40,936
What do you mean?
1497
01:27:41,319 --> 01:27:42,872
You've been here
for five minutes.
1498
01:27:43,530 --> 01:27:45,933
Normally, by now, my legs
would be over your shoulders.
1499
01:27:45,958 --> 01:27:48,019
And you'd be screaming
rap lyrics into my face.
1500
01:27:49,609 --> 01:27:50,813
This isn't the type
of behavior I've
1501
01:27:50,838 --> 01:27:53,579
come to expect from the man
that seduced me eight years ago.
1502
01:27:54,744 --> 01:27:57,249
Well now, that's a
whale of a tale, cowboy.
1503
01:27:58,437 --> 01:27:59,271
You seduced me.
1504
01:27:59,505 --> 01:28:00,288
And don't you forget it.
1505
01:28:01,065 --> 01:28:02,211
Figured that out, did you?
1506
01:28:02,858 --> 01:28:04,644
I guess you are the smart one.
1507
01:28:05,966 --> 01:28:06,498
Dick.
1508
01:28:07,395 --> 01:28:10,402
On the other hand, maybe
you're not so smart after all.
1509
01:28:11,289 --> 01:28:12,490
Here's a hot guy--
1510
01:28:12,515 --> 01:28:13,549
Reasonably attractive.
1511
01:28:13,961 --> 01:28:15,062
Don't kid yourself.
1512
01:28:15,326 --> 01:28:19,101
Hot guy lying naked
in bed, all for you,
1513
01:28:19,887 --> 01:28:22,664
and you don't seem interested.
1514
01:28:23,223 --> 01:28:26,059
Oh, I'm interested.
1515
01:28:29,346 --> 01:28:30,488
I brought a new toy.
1516
01:28:31,328 --> 01:28:32,229
I saw.
1517
01:28:32,626 --> 01:28:35,351
I figured we could play
Arizona interrogation.
1518
01:28:36,393 --> 01:28:37,622
In a minute, maybe.
1519
01:28:38,226 --> 01:28:39,600
Just follow the 8O proof road.
1520
01:28:41,029 --> 01:28:42,728
You have come a
long way, haven't you?
1521
01:28:43,430 --> 01:28:44,765
Three steps forward.
1522
01:28:45,114 --> 01:28:46,284
And you're two steps back.
1523
01:28:47,669 --> 01:28:50,105
It never used to be this hard to
get you in between the sheets.
1524
01:28:50,865 --> 01:28:52,374
But the last few years--
1525
01:28:55,507 --> 01:28:56,389
are you bored with me?
1526
01:29:03,288 --> 01:29:03,687
No.
1527
01:29:04,085 --> 01:29:04,944
Then, what is it?
1528
01:29:06,494 --> 01:29:07,608
Things are different now.
1529
01:29:13,448 --> 01:29:14,502
Fuck it.
1530
01:29:15,101 --> 01:29:15,868
All right.
1531
01:29:40,188 --> 01:29:41,011
Handcuff me.
1532
01:29:41,564 --> 01:29:42,431
Yes, sir.
1533
01:29:42,456 --> 01:29:43,730
No, I call you sir.
1534
01:29:44,239 --> 01:29:44,956
You got it.
1535
01:29:45,624 --> 01:29:46,808
I assume there's a key?
1536
01:29:46,958 --> 01:29:47,659
Over there.
1537
01:29:54,474 --> 01:29:55,223
Hey!
1538
01:29:55,489 --> 01:29:56,824
Get rid of that stupid thing.
1539
01:29:56,964 --> 01:29:57,965
Mood buster.
1540
01:29:58,136 --> 01:29:59,446
That's bronco buster.
1541
01:30:01,930 --> 01:30:03,265
Did you bring condoms, partner?
1542
01:30:03,290 --> 01:30:03,706
No.
1543
01:30:04,777 --> 01:30:05,806
Well, how are we gonna--
1544
01:30:06,016 --> 01:30:06,783
I don't want to use them.
1545
01:30:07,958 --> 01:30:08,692
What?
1546
01:30:08,902 --> 01:30:09,782
I don't want to
use them this time.
1547
01:30:11,503 --> 01:30:12,204
I don't know.
1548
01:30:12,229 --> 01:30:12,997
Come on, Lewis.
1549
01:30:13,022 --> 01:30:13,448
Please.
1550
01:30:14,909 --> 01:30:15,676
[Sigh]
1551
01:30:25,256 --> 01:30:25,999
Where's the lube?
1552
01:30:26,688 --> 01:30:29,891
I am rinsed, and
buttered, and ready to play.
1553
01:30:29,916 --> 01:30:32,818
Now ride me like a
teacup at Disneyland.
1554
01:30:37,688 --> 01:30:38,422
Fuck.
1555
01:30:38,447 --> 01:30:39,548
Have you got bigger?
1556
01:30:39,754 --> 01:30:40,422
Maybe.
1557
01:30:40,447 --> 01:30:41,648
You sure haven't gotten tighter.
1558
01:30:41,673 --> 01:30:42,674
Fuck you.
1559
01:30:47,870 --> 01:30:49,171
[heavy breathing]
1560
01:31:02,882 --> 01:31:04,070
Faster sir
1561
01:31:07,883 --> 01:31:09,018
Talk to me, sir.
1562
01:31:09,043 --> 01:31:09,877
Do you like it?
1563
01:31:10,384 --> 01:31:11,271
You're the best, Coop.
1564
01:31:12,081 --> 01:31:13,178
The best I've ever had.
1565
01:31:14,663 --> 01:31:15,664
How's it feel?
1566
01:31:16,374 --> 01:31:16,870
Great!
1567
01:31:18,358 --> 01:31:19,126
Awesome.
1568
01:31:22,138 --> 01:31:23,595
You like my cock in your ass?
1569
01:31:23,620 --> 01:31:24,783
Oh, I love it, sir.
1570
01:31:25,072 --> 01:31:25,661
I love it.
1571
01:31:26,172 --> 01:31:27,010
I love you.
1572
01:31:31,238 --> 01:31:32,239
Say that again.
1573
01:31:34,338 --> 01:31:35,606
I love your cock in my ass.
1574
01:31:44,323 --> 01:31:44,738
Don't!
1575
01:31:45,750 --> 01:31:47,244
Don't you kiss me like that.
1576
01:31:47,474 --> 01:31:48,135
Like what?
1577
01:31:49,238 --> 01:31:50,339
A distraction.
1578
01:31:50,496 --> 01:31:53,158
You kissed me to change the
subject, you little bastard.
1579
01:31:54,832 --> 01:31:56,407
Looks like playtime is over.
1580
01:31:59,735 --> 01:32:00,964
Lewis, can you
take these cuffs off?
1581
01:32:04,532 --> 01:32:05,137
Lewis.
1582
01:32:06,617 --> 01:32:07,919
Listen, Lewis, let me go!
1583
01:32:41,423 --> 01:32:43,157
Where do you see
us in 'I0 years, Coop?
1584
01:32:44,783 --> 01:32:45,946
Still meeting here
1585
01:32:46,783 --> 01:32:48,508
in this room every 12 months?
1586
01:32:49,519 --> 01:32:50,088
Why not?
1587
01:32:52,347 --> 01:32:53,039
Things change.
1588
01:32:53,954 --> 01:32:54,655
Like what?
1589
01:32:59,976 --> 01:33:01,011
I call three questions.
1590
01:33:01,400 --> 01:33:02,067
Damn.
1591
01:33:02,092 --> 01:33:02,809
I'm invoking.
1592
01:33:03,611 --> 01:33:04,497
Ask.
1593
01:33:04,848 --> 01:33:05,546
Question one.
1594
01:33:05,703 --> 01:33:07,752
You say things are different
now, that things changed.
1595
01:33:08,155 --> 01:33:09,688
We've been messing
around for years.
1596
01:33:09,713 --> 01:33:10,380
Messing around.
1597
01:33:10,405 --> 01:33:11,339
What's different?
1598
01:33:15,486 --> 01:33:16,618
I have a boyfriend now.
1599
01:33:19,727 --> 01:33:20,181
So.
1600
01:33:22,744 --> 01:33:23,412
So?
1601
01:33:25,942 --> 01:33:26,573
So?
1602
01:33:28,126 --> 01:33:29,810
You've got the balls to say so?
1603
01:33:31,001 --> 01:33:33,399
How many times over
the last eight years
1604
01:33:33,424 --> 01:33:35,660
have I heard you moan
regrets like a Tennessee
1605
01:33:35,685 --> 01:33:37,176
Williams heroine?
1606
01:33:37,619 --> 01:33:39,387
Oh, I'm cheating on my Wife.
1607
01:33:39,550 --> 01:33:42,353
Oh, I feel so guilty.
Oh.
1608
01:33:42,672 --> 01:33:43,499
Now fuck me.
1609
01:33:45,690 --> 01:33:46,840
I have a boyfriend now.
1610
01:33:49,223 --> 01:33:50,758
I'd think you'd feel
a little empathy.
1611
01:33:50,888 --> 01:33:51,957
But that's different.
1612
01:33:53,326 --> 01:33:57,173
And just how is
that different?
1613
01:33:57,221 --> 01:33:57,989
Wife and children.
1614
01:33:58,014 --> 01:33:59,626
Rock solid relationship.
1615
01:33:59,801 --> 01:34:00,854
Not like a boyfriend.
1616
01:34:02,056 --> 01:34:02,682
Why?
1617
01:34:02,707 --> 01:34:04,199
Is it abnormal?
1618
01:34:04,224 --> 01:34:05,296
Of course not!
1619
01:34:05,321 --> 01:34:07,171
It's just unbalanced.
1620
01:34:07,691 --> 01:34:10,384
A boyfriend is not the same
level of commitment as a wife.
1621
01:34:12,787 --> 01:34:15,376
Oh because gay
relationships aren't
1622
01:34:15,401 --> 01:34:16,865
as valid as straight
relationships.
1623
01:34:16,890 --> 01:34:17,412
No!
1624
01:34:18,586 --> 01:34:20,271
I mean, yes.
1625
01:34:21,465 --> 01:34:24,435
What I mean is, if you had
said girlfriend instead
1626
01:34:24,460 --> 01:34:27,420
of boyfriend, other than
wondering whether I was living
1627
01:34:27,832 --> 01:34:30,143
in a parallel
universe, I would have
1628
01:34:30,168 --> 01:34:31,073
had the exact same reaction.
1629
01:34:31,895 --> 01:34:35,138
Boyfriends is little
winks when you
1630
01:34:35,163 --> 01:34:36,100
think that nobody's looking.
1631
01:34:36,804 --> 01:34:38,407
It's a quick hand job
at the movie theater.
1632
01:34:39,625 --> 01:34:43,492
Wives is, meatloaf again?
1633
01:34:44,323 --> 01:34:45,421
Is there gas in my car?
1634
01:34:45,844 --> 01:34:48,610
Or can you not scratch your
balls when my mother is home?
1635
01:34:50,124 --> 01:34:51,026
That's all I meant.
1636
01:34:52,515 --> 01:34:58,526
Yeah but, whenever you had
doubts, I threaded that needle.
1637
01:35:00,027 --> 01:35:01,267
I Think you could do the same?
1638
01:35:01,434 --> 01:35:03,278
You always said that it
shouldn't matter to me.
1639
01:35:04,535 --> 01:35:05,803
So then, why should
it matter to you?
1640
01:35:10,837 --> 01:35:11,871
That's another question.
1641
01:35:12,019 --> 01:35:12,712
My turn.
1642
01:35:14,722 --> 01:35:15,540
Question one.
1643
01:35:17,261 --> 01:35:19,363
Have you slept with
any men other than me?
1644
01:35:19,784 --> 01:35:21,430
You asked me that years ago.
1645
01:35:22,273 --> 01:35:24,583
Well you've had a lot of
time for that answer to change.
1646
01:35:26,674 --> 01:35:27,341
Well?
1647
01:35:27,528 --> 01:35:28,068
No.
1648
01:35:29,048 --> 01:35:30,175
OK, question two.
Why--
1649
01:35:30,200 --> 01:35:31,034
Wait, Wait, Wait, Wait.
1650
01:35:31,059 --> 01:35:32,015
I feel like there
should be more to that.
1651
01:35:32,350 --> 01:35:33,288
There isn't, Lewis.
1652
01:35:33,313 --> 01:35:34,291
The answer is no.
1653
01:35:34,316 --> 01:35:34,854
All right?
1654
01:35:35,719 --> 01:35:36,821
Question two.
1655
01:35:36,914 --> 01:35:39,116
You say that it shouldn't
matter that I cheat on my Wife.
1656
01:35:39,475 --> 01:35:41,510
Why then should it matter that
you cheat on your boyfriend?
1657
01:35:44,467 --> 01:35:45,317
It's different.
1658
01:35:47,937 --> 01:35:48,927
He's sick.
1659
01:35:52,126 --> 01:35:52,841
Do you mean?
1660
01:35:54,300 --> 01:35:55,364
Ah, shit, Lewis!
1661
01:35:55,389 --> 01:35:56,642
How could you do that?
1662
01:35:56,765 --> 01:36:00,007
How could you be with somebody
who could give you something?
1663
01:36:00,454 --> 01:36:02,656
What about the year
you gave me crabs?
1664
01:36:02,681 --> 01:36:03,982
They weren't crabs!
1665
01:36:04,007 --> 01:36:05,042
They were lice!
1666
01:36:05,182 --> 01:36:06,933
The wife got them from
the kids at school.
1667
01:36:06,958 --> 01:36:07,753
It's acceptable.
1668
01:36:08,304 --> 01:36:09,022
I don't know.
1669
01:36:09,047 --> 01:36:10,318
I'm not the one
scratching my balls
1670
01:36:10,343 --> 01:36:11,244
in front of my mother in law.
1671
01:36:20,268 --> 01:36:21,581
Turn off your scanner, Coop.
1672
01:36:21,606 --> 01:36:22,417
You're safe.
1673
01:36:22,818 --> 01:36:24,536
I wouldn't have done
what we just did unless I
1674
01:36:24,561 --> 01:36:26,530
was 100% absolutely sure.
1675
01:36:27,026 --> 01:36:27,926
But there's a risk.
1676
01:36:29,264 --> 01:36:30,365
Sex is risky, Coop.
1677
01:36:31,473 --> 01:36:32,141
Always.
1678
01:36:36,263 --> 01:36:37,035
What's his name?
1679
01:36:38,939 --> 01:36:39,536
New boyfriend.
1680
01:36:41,501 --> 01:36:42,587
That's another question.
1681
01:36:42,612 --> 01:36:44,642
Just, just answer it.
1682
01:36:47,566 --> 01:36:48,060
Bernie.
1683
01:36:50,175 --> 01:36:51,200
His name is Bernie.
1684
01:36:55,788 --> 01:36:56,667
OK, my turn.
1685
01:36:58,482 --> 01:36:59,277
Question two.
1686
01:37:02,364 --> 01:37:03,834
Have you ever thought
of leaving your wife?
1687
01:37:06,782 --> 01:37:07,115
Yes.
1688
01:37:10,189 --> 01:37:12,291
Uh, elaborate please.
1689
01:37:12,316 --> 01:37:13,383
I answered your question.
1690
01:37:13,747 --> 01:37:14,881
Not to my satisfaction.
1691
01:37:14,906 --> 01:37:16,586
That's not a
requirement of the game.
1692
01:37:19,953 --> 01:37:20,854
Fine.
Question three.
1693
01:37:20,879 --> 01:37:21,547
No, no, no.
1694
01:37:21,572 --> 01:37:22,373
It's my turn!
1695
01:37:22,874 --> 01:37:23,290
Yeah, yeah.
1696
01:37:23,369 --> 01:37:24,137
After this.
1697
01:37:24,408 --> 01:37:25,189
Question three.
1698
01:37:25,845 --> 01:37:28,311
Why am I the only guy
you've ever had sex with?
1699
01:37:29,294 --> 01:37:30,860
There's got to be one or
1700
01:37:31,372 --> 01:37:32,826
two other guys more attractive
1701
01:37:32,851 --> 01:37:33,783
than I am out there.
1702
01:37:35,032 --> 01:37:36,381
Maybe I like the smart ones.
1703
01:37:37,919 --> 01:37:38,707
Seriously.
1704
01:37:40,700 --> 01:37:41,422
Lewis,
1705
01:37:44,186 --> 01:37:47,119
I've always felt that
there was a spark between us.
1706
01:37:47,295 --> 01:37:47,962
I don't know.
1707
01:37:48,375 --> 01:37:49,233
I can't explain it.
1708
01:37:51,079 --> 01:37:52,313
Something about
you has always made
1709
01:37:52,338 --> 01:37:53,868
my skin tingle when We touch.
1710
01:37:54,590 --> 01:37:56,584
My heart pounds when I
think about you naked.
1711
01:37:57,118 --> 01:38:00,124
Every expression on your face
is chiseled into my memory.
1712
01:38:00,700 --> 01:38:01,581
I don't know why.
1713
01:38:01,606 --> 01:38:02,326
It just is.
1714
01:38:02,351 --> 01:38:04,446
And you are the only man
that's made me feel like that!
1715
01:38:05,862 --> 01:38:06,908
So am I gay?
1716
01:38:07,020 --> 01:38:08,229
Am I bisexual?
1717
01:38:08,849 --> 01:38:11,349
If I was, wouldn't I feel
like that for another man?
1718
01:38:12,248 --> 01:38:12,915
I don't!
1719
01:38:12,940 --> 01:38:13,909
Just you!
1720
01:38:14,214 --> 01:38:15,073
Only you.
1721
01:38:18,616 --> 01:38:19,743
But you said you loved me.
1722
01:38:19,768 --> 01:38:20,141
God!
1723
01:38:20,166 --> 01:38:20,930
I do, Lewis!
1724
01:38:21,214 --> 01:38:22,779
I love you so much!
1725
01:38:23,868 --> 01:38:24,251
This
1726
01:38:25,600 --> 01:38:26,909
this was supposed
to be the night, man.
1727
01:38:28,557 --> 01:38:29,225
The night?
1728
01:38:29,628 --> 01:38:30,179
[Sigh]
1729
01:38:30,204 --> 01:38:30,754
The night!
1730
01:38:30,779 --> 01:38:31,660
The night!
1731
01:38:34,493 --> 01:38:36,653
The night I told you I
wanted us to be together.
1732
01:38:41,195 --> 01:38:42,263
I've known that you wanted this.
1733
01:38:42,288 --> 01:38:44,559
I've known it for a long time.
1734
01:38:49,726 --> 01:38:50,930
You got a wife, Coop.
1735
01:38:51,892 --> 01:38:52,649
And children.
1736
01:38:56,276 --> 01:38:57,443
It would destroy them.
1737
01:39:00,906 --> 01:39:01,727
They need you.
1738
01:39:03,085 --> 01:39:04,353
But don't you need me?
1739
01:39:08,045 --> 01:39:08,826
I used to.
1740
01:39:11,075 --> 01:39:11,899
But now--
1741
01:39:14,064 --> 01:39:14,856
You've got Bernie.
1742
01:39:17,289 --> 01:39:17,770
Yeah.
1743
01:39:20,350 --> 01:39:20,893
Look at me.
1744
01:39:22,611 --> 01:39:23,880
We've always been able
to read each other.
1745
01:39:26,102 --> 01:39:26,935
Question three.
1746
01:39:28,882 --> 01:39:31,051
Are you telling me the
truth about Bernie?
1747
01:39:35,415 --> 01:39:36,149
Yes.
1748
01:39:38,315 --> 01:39:40,038
So your answer for me is--
1749
01:39:41,342 --> 01:39:43,381
Cooper, remember when
you told me about your dad leaving
1750
01:39:45,288 --> 01:39:46,289
how it made you feel?
1751
01:39:48,945 --> 01:39:50,503
Why would you do
that to your kids?
1752
01:39:56,916 --> 01:39:58,128
You're not your father.
1753
01:39:59,760 --> 01:40:01,224
You're not gonna do
this to your family.
1754
01:40:03,936 --> 01:40:04,325
and
1755
01:40:05,911 --> 01:40:07,260
soulmate or not,
1756
01:40:08,585 --> 01:40:10,244
they are your family.
1757
01:40:11,052 --> 01:40:11,471
They love you.
1758
01:40:15,385 --> 01:40:16,725
That's more important than us.
1759
01:40:19,336 --> 01:40:21,663
That sounds like one
of your $3.95 paperbacks.
1760
01:40:22,897 --> 01:40:24,365
$4.95!
1761
01:40:24,974 --> 01:40:26,416
$13.95 hardcover.
1762
01:40:26,441 --> 01:40:27,930
I beg your forgiveness.
1763
01:40:32,270 --> 01:40:33,416
Seriously,
1764
01:40:34,471 --> 01:40:34,834
I'm sorry.
1765
01:40:36,644 --> 01:40:37,378
For what?
1766
01:40:40,022 --> 01:40:41,029
You've got someone.
1767
01:40:43,781 --> 01:40:44,749
I've got someone.
1768
01:40:46,124 --> 01:40:46,871
I'm happy
1769
01:40:47,966 --> 01:40:48,465
You?
1770
01:40:50,842 --> 01:40:51,129
yeah...
1771
01:40:52,822 --> 01:40:54,238
as long as
you're a part of my life.
1772
01:40:59,778 --> 01:41:00,938
I better go.
1773
01:41:02,804 --> 01:41:03,571
Go now.
1774
01:41:10,489 --> 01:41:10,965
You know,
1775
01:41:14,572 --> 01:41:15,511
you can keep these.
1776
01:41:16,218 --> 01:41:16,886
Thanks.
1777
01:41:36,563 --> 01:41:37,155
Next year.
1778
01:41:39,128 --> 01:41:39,842
We'll see.
1779
01:41:43,019 --> 01:41:43,642
Love you, Lewis.
1780
01:41:44,866 --> 01:41:45,540
I love you, Coop.
1781
01:42:34,725 --> 01:42:37,461
Why is our love
impossible, Stephen asked.
1782
01:42:38,050 --> 01:42:39,575
We are meant to be one.
1783
01:42:41,108 --> 01:42:43,744
It is not our destiny,
Jenny replied.
1784
01:42:44,383 --> 01:42:46,936
I will not be the one
to destroy your family.
1785
01:42:48,153 --> 01:42:49,354
They love you.
1786
01:42:50,760 --> 01:42:56,065
And if that is meant to be
and we are not, so be it.
1787
01:43:03,096 --> 01:43:04,398
[knocking]
1788
01:43:15,052 --> 01:43:15,819
Good evening, sir.
1789
01:43:15,927 --> 01:43:16,894
May I bring this in?
1790
01:43:17,184 --> 01:43:18,318
I didn't order anything.
1791
01:43:18,614 --> 01:43:19,810
Compliments of the house, sir.
1792
01:43:32,260 --> 01:43:33,971
Wow, this looks amazing.
1793
01:43:33,996 --> 01:43:36,650
But it's way too much
food here for one person.
1794
01:43:37,035 --> 01:43:38,478
Oh, I just got off work, sir.
1795
01:43:38,789 --> 01:43:40,242
You were my last
delivery of the night.
1796
01:43:43,828 --> 01:43:45,897
Would you care for
some dessert, Bernie?
1797
01:43:46,708 --> 01:43:47,375
Thank you.
1798
01:43:58,026 --> 01:43:59,627
Uh, my name's
Lewis, by the way.
1799
01:44:00,021 --> 01:44:00,688
Yes, I know.
1800
01:44:01,133 --> 01:44:02,285
Very nice to meet you, sir.
1801
01:44:07,991 --> 01:44:09,950
Oh, it looks like you've
already got something to drink.
1802
01:44:12,510 --> 01:44:15,113
Open her up.
I've always hated whiskey.
1803
01:44:17,620 --> 01:44:28,232
[music playing]
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