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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,070 --> 00:00:03,310 * MTV. * 2 00:00:17,120 --> 00:00:18,400 Are you still here? 3 00:00:18,600 --> 00:00:19,910 You need to get going. 4 00:00:20,110 --> 00:00:23,110 I can't get going. I told you I don't feel well. 5 00:00:23,310 --> 00:00:24,510 What's the matter now? 6 00:00:24,710 --> 00:00:26,280 Oh, nothing, I just had 7 00:00:26,480 --> 00:00:27,910 explosive fucking diarrhea all night 8 00:00:28,110 --> 00:00:30,480 because you decided to get us KFC for dinner. 9 00:00:30,680 --> 00:00:32,690 You have KFC all the time. 10 00:00:32,890 --> 00:00:35,120 Yeah, and I have diarrhea all the time! 11 00:00:35,320 --> 00:00:38,690 You're not staying home all day and playing Baldur's Gate 3. 12 00:00:38,890 --> 00:00:42,230 - Now let's go. - Ugh! 13 00:00:42,430 --> 00:00:44,760 Have a good day at school, sweetie. 14 00:00:44,960 --> 00:00:46,380 Fuck you, Mom! 15 00:00:49,220 --> 00:00:50,440 This is bullshit. 16 00:00:50,640 --> 00:00:52,670 How do you get your mom arrested for child abuse? 17 00:00:52,870 --> 00:00:54,940 She wouldn't let you stay home and play Baldur's Gate 3, 18 00:00:55,140 --> 00:00:56,280 huh, fat ass? 19 00:00:56,480 --> 00:00:58,510 Who you callin' fat, you heathen bitch? 20 00:00:58,710 --> 00:01:00,650 Dude, you don't wanna miss school today. 21 00:01:00,850 --> 00:01:03,850 Clyde said he's gonna fart on Tammy Mullins during P.E. 22 00:01:04,050 --> 00:01:06,120 Tammy Mullins has sweet fucking knockers. 23 00:01:06,320 --> 00:01:08,790 Dude, Kenny, enough about Tammy's knockers! 24 00:01:08,990 --> 00:01:10,260 You sound like a white male trying to 25 00:01:10,460 --> 00:01:11,990 re-establish the patriarchy. 26 00:01:12,190 --> 00:01:15,160 (screaming) 27 00:01:15,360 --> 00:01:16,530 Eric, it's okay. 28 00:01:16,730 --> 00:01:18,960 - It's okay. - Mom! Mom! 29 00:01:19,160 --> 00:01:20,370 I had a dream that... 30 00:01:20,570 --> 00:01:22,370 I was replaced by a diverse woman! 31 00:01:22,570 --> 00:01:23,800 Oh, not again. 32 00:01:24,000 --> 00:01:26,140 Yeah, only this time, it wasn't just me. 33 00:01:26,340 --> 00:01:28,710 They were taking all my favorite people and replacing them 34 00:01:28,910 --> 00:01:30,540 with diverse women complaining about the patriarchy. 35 00:01:30,740 --> 00:01:32,380 Will you check under the bed and make sure 36 00:01:32,580 --> 00:01:34,080 there's no Disney executives under there? 37 00:01:34,280 --> 00:01:36,650 - I promise there's not. - I'm scared, Mom! 38 00:01:36,850 --> 00:01:38,550 Will you please just look and make sure Kathleen Kennedy 39 00:01:38,750 --> 00:01:40,040 isn't under my bed? 40 00:01:40,970 --> 00:01:43,560 Kathleen Kennedy is not under your bed. 41 00:01:43,760 --> 00:01:44,920 Can you check the closet? 42 00:01:45,120 --> 00:01:46,490 Eric, enough. 43 00:01:46,690 --> 00:01:49,560 I've told you there's no such thing as Disney executives 44 00:01:49,760 --> 00:01:51,600 who replace everyone you love with diverse women 45 00:01:51,800 --> 00:01:53,400 who complain about the patriarchy. 46 00:01:53,600 --> 00:01:55,880 Now be a big boy. 47 00:01:58,320 --> 00:01:59,570 It's-it's not real. 48 00:01:59,770 --> 00:02:01,810 It's... it's not real. 49 00:02:02,010 --> 00:02:03,990 * * 50 00:02:12,670 --> 00:02:15,900 (rooster crows) 51 00:02:17,610 --> 00:02:18,620 - Get up! - (yells) 52 00:02:18,820 --> 00:02:20,460 Come on, Stan, get up. Let's go. 53 00:02:20,660 --> 00:02:21,660 - What, Dad? - Downstairs. 54 00:02:21,860 --> 00:02:23,650 Let's go. I'm sick of this shit. 55 00:02:26,620 --> 00:02:27,830 Okay. 56 00:02:28,030 --> 00:02:29,700 It has come to my attention lately that 57 00:02:29,900 --> 00:02:33,640 young people today don't know how to do shit. 58 00:02:33,840 --> 00:02:36,610 You got your phones and your AI and you kids haven't 59 00:02:36,810 --> 00:02:38,910 learned to be able to actually do anything. 60 00:02:39,110 --> 00:02:40,680 So we're going to take this morning to 61 00:02:40,880 --> 00:02:43,980 learn how to fix something. You see this? 62 00:02:44,180 --> 00:02:47,120 See this? The oven door isn't working. 63 00:02:47,320 --> 00:02:49,790 It's falling off the hinges. So what do we do? 64 00:02:49,990 --> 00:02:51,110 Shelley? 65 00:02:52,110 --> 00:02:53,460 I don't know. 66 00:02:53,660 --> 00:02:54,730 It's very simple. 67 00:02:54,930 --> 00:02:56,430 You gotta make the hinges tighter 68 00:02:56,630 --> 00:02:58,000 so the oven door's more secure. 69 00:02:58,200 --> 00:03:01,400 So what you do is... you take out your phone 70 00:03:01,600 --> 00:03:04,070 and you call the handyman. 71 00:03:04,270 --> 00:03:05,900 (line ringing) 72 00:03:06,100 --> 00:03:07,170 HANDYMAN (over phone): Hello? 73 00:03:07,370 --> 00:03:08,870 Hello. It's Randy Marsh. 74 00:03:09,070 --> 00:03:12,650 My oven door is not working. Please come fix it. 75 00:03:12,850 --> 00:03:15,860 Now we rest until the handyman comes. 76 00:03:19,740 --> 00:03:22,020 (tool clicking) 77 00:03:22,220 --> 00:03:24,660 Are you following this at all, guys? 78 00:03:24,860 --> 00:03:27,490 - Is this seeping in? - Nope. 79 00:03:27,690 --> 00:03:30,360 No, it looks like the screws are totally stripped. 80 00:03:30,560 --> 00:03:31,800 What does that mean? What's wrong? 81 00:03:32,000 --> 00:03:33,730 Can't get 'er fixed right now, I gotta get 82 00:03:33,930 --> 00:03:36,000 some different washers at the Home Depot. 83 00:03:36,200 --> 00:03:37,440 Okay, do that. 84 00:03:37,640 --> 00:03:38,700 Can't do it right now, I gotta get 85 00:03:38,900 --> 00:03:40,510 over to Stephen Stotch's house 86 00:03:40,710 --> 00:03:42,070 and install his closet shelves. 87 00:03:42,270 --> 00:03:45,180 Okay, see, kids, this happens sometimes 88 00:03:45,380 --> 00:03:47,780 but handymen don't make a lot of money, so here's what you do. 89 00:03:47,980 --> 00:03:50,250 Oh, okay, I will pay you an extra 30 bucks 90 00:03:50,450 --> 00:03:51,980 if you fix my oven now. 91 00:03:52,180 --> 00:03:55,390 Yeah, sorry, but Stotch already gave me an extra 50 bucks. 92 00:03:55,590 --> 00:03:58,060 I will pay you an extra 55 bucks. 93 00:03:58,260 --> 00:04:00,330 Randy, did you fix the oven door yet? 94 00:04:00,530 --> 00:04:02,300 I'm working on it! 95 00:04:02,500 --> 00:04:03,630 Look, please. 96 00:04:03,830 --> 00:04:05,230 Whatever you want. I'll throw in a six-pack 97 00:04:05,430 --> 00:04:06,770 of beer and you can get drunk. 98 00:04:06,970 --> 00:04:08,830 I don't need your trivial little perks anymore, Marsh. 99 00:04:09,030 --> 00:04:11,870 I got work comin' out my ears. It's like... 100 00:04:12,070 --> 00:04:13,570 I don't know, it's like nobody knows 101 00:04:13,770 --> 00:04:15,620 how to do shit anymore. 102 00:04:16,460 --> 00:04:18,340 You're-- You're just gonna leave? 103 00:04:18,540 --> 00:04:20,510 I'll pay a different handyman. 104 00:04:20,710 --> 00:04:21,810 Yeah, go for it, buddy, 105 00:04:22,010 --> 00:04:24,330 I got so much money I don't care. 106 00:04:26,370 --> 00:04:28,100 What the hell is going on? 107 00:04:28,870 --> 00:04:32,390 All right, just try to relax. Take a deep breath. 108 00:04:32,590 --> 00:04:36,800 (inhales) Now tell me exactly what it is you're afraid of. 109 00:04:37,000 --> 00:04:39,800 I keep having the same dream. 110 00:04:40,000 --> 00:04:41,900 Everywhere I look, people are being replaced. 111 00:04:42,100 --> 00:04:45,540 Okay. And who do you think is going to have you replaced? 112 00:04:45,740 --> 00:04:47,940 Them. The puppet masters. 113 00:04:48,140 --> 00:04:50,510 The last time I had the dream, I was, I was walking 114 00:04:50,710 --> 00:04:52,210 down the school hallway... 115 00:04:52,410 --> 00:04:54,780 * * 116 00:04:54,980 --> 00:04:57,080 And then I see Butters, and he's like... 117 00:04:57,280 --> 00:04:58,320 (Cartman's voice): Hey, Eric! You wanna see 118 00:04:58,520 --> 00:04:59,650 what my mom packed me for lunch? 119 00:04:59,850 --> 00:05:01,190 And that's when I start to notice 120 00:05:01,390 --> 00:05:02,620 that something's wrong. Everyone I cared about 121 00:05:02,820 --> 00:05:04,120 has been systematically replaced. 122 00:05:04,320 --> 00:05:05,760 And finally I want to scream and I'm like... 123 00:05:05,960 --> 00:05:07,630 Why are they replacing every single character 124 00:05:07,830 --> 00:05:09,290 with someone who is diverse? 125 00:05:09,500 --> 00:05:10,800 - But then Kenny's like... - (Cartman's voice): It's not 126 00:05:11,000 --> 00:05:12,300 our fault, it's 'cause of Kathleen Kennedy. 127 00:05:12,500 --> 00:05:13,600 But then Kathleen Kennedy's just like... 128 00:05:13,800 --> 00:05:15,000 Fuck it! Make it more lame. 129 00:05:15,200 --> 00:05:16,970 CARTMAN: And everyone in town is like, 130 00:05:17,170 --> 00:05:18,840 "No, please, Kathleen Kennedy, stop ruining everything." 131 00:05:19,040 --> 00:05:20,140 But Kathleen Kennedy is all like... 132 00:05:20,340 --> 00:05:21,670 Put another gay diverse woman in it. 133 00:05:21,870 --> 00:05:23,480 Make it more fucking lame. 134 00:05:23,680 --> 00:05:25,610 And Disney stock just keeps going down and down and down! 135 00:05:25,810 --> 00:05:27,280 And then Bob Iger is all like... 136 00:05:27,480 --> 00:05:29,550 (Cartman's voice): No! No! What's going on with my stocks? 137 00:05:29,750 --> 00:05:31,020 No, Kathleen Kennedy! 138 00:05:31,220 --> 00:05:33,340 (screaming) 139 00:05:34,170 --> 00:05:36,420 Oh. It happened again, didn't it? 140 00:05:36,620 --> 00:05:39,660 Okay, Eric, I think I know what's going on here. 141 00:05:39,860 --> 00:05:43,330 Your fears aren't about Disney replacing everything you love. 142 00:05:43,530 --> 00:05:47,930 What everyone is afraid of these days is being replaced by AI. 143 00:05:48,130 --> 00:05:49,470 - AI? - But you don't need 144 00:05:49,670 --> 00:05:51,070 to worry, Eric. 145 00:05:51,270 --> 00:05:53,570 As long as you work hard and stay in school, 146 00:05:53,770 --> 00:05:55,210 you can make something of yourself. 147 00:05:55,410 --> 00:05:58,310 Become an elite worker like I did that AI can't replace. 148 00:05:58,510 --> 00:05:59,910 You're a therapist and the best thing 149 00:06:00,110 --> 00:06:01,210 you have to tell me is "stay in school"? 150 00:06:01,410 --> 00:06:03,950 You're in control of your future, Eric. 151 00:06:04,150 --> 00:06:05,850 You just need to ask yourself, 152 00:06:06,050 --> 00:06:07,220 "Who will be the people 153 00:06:07,420 --> 00:06:10,170 still making money in the AI-driven future?" 154 00:06:11,040 --> 00:06:12,790 (electricity crackles) 155 00:06:12,990 --> 00:06:14,710 What the-- What the fuck? 156 00:06:17,250 --> 00:06:19,970 (tool clicking) 157 00:06:20,170 --> 00:06:21,530 Could you hurry it up, please? 158 00:06:21,730 --> 00:06:22,770 I kind of need to get back to work. 159 00:06:22,970 --> 00:06:24,070 Yep, well, looks like 160 00:06:24,270 --> 00:06:25,840 you got a short in the outlet there. 161 00:06:26,040 --> 00:06:27,440 I'd have to get a new outlet at Home Depot. 162 00:06:27,640 --> 00:06:30,410 I can probably come change it on the 28th. 163 00:06:30,610 --> 00:06:32,380 28th? No, no, no, look. 164 00:06:32,580 --> 00:06:34,680 I'll give a hundred bucks to get this done today. 165 00:06:34,880 --> 00:06:36,980 I already got a feller giving me thousands 166 00:06:37,180 --> 00:06:38,920 to fix his toilet this afternoon. 167 00:06:39,120 --> 00:06:41,490 Thousands? I can't afford that. 168 00:06:41,690 --> 00:06:42,990 Free therapy sessions. 169 00:06:43,190 --> 00:06:45,360 How about we trade? You do the handiwork for me. 170 00:06:45,560 --> 00:06:47,690 And I'll give you five free therapy sessions! 171 00:06:47,890 --> 00:06:49,230 Oh, no, thanks. 172 00:06:49,430 --> 00:06:53,950 I do all my therapy on the AI Freudbot app. 173 00:06:57,290 --> 00:07:00,110 ANNOUNCER: This is South Park Breaking News. 174 00:07:00,310 --> 00:07:02,270 Shocking developments in the country today, 175 00:07:02,470 --> 00:07:05,340 it appears that nobody knows how to do shit anymore. 176 00:07:05,540 --> 00:07:08,050 Our own Chris Martins is live on the scene. 177 00:07:08,250 --> 00:07:10,720 Tom, I'm standing in my bathroom where the new 178 00:07:10,920 --> 00:07:13,420 tile for my shower has yet to be installed. 179 00:07:13,620 --> 00:07:16,520 As you can see, the tile has started to peel off in places. 180 00:07:16,720 --> 00:07:20,090 Now the handyman was supposed to come days ago to fix it 181 00:07:20,290 --> 00:07:21,530 but he claims to have better offers 182 00:07:21,730 --> 00:07:23,130 from other white-collar workers 183 00:07:23,330 --> 00:07:26,400 like me whose practical know-how has atrophied. 184 00:07:26,600 --> 00:07:28,600 It appears we've all screwed ourselves 185 00:07:28,800 --> 00:07:31,950 by relying on technology and AI. 186 00:07:36,160 --> 00:07:37,880 - (phone chimes) - Hey, Siri, 187 00:07:38,080 --> 00:07:40,610 how do you fix a broken oven door? 188 00:07:40,810 --> 00:07:43,650 SIRI: Here's what I found from reference.com. 189 00:07:43,850 --> 00:07:46,920 Undo any screws that hold the hinges in position, 190 00:07:47,120 --> 00:07:49,050 pull the door upward and then outwards 191 00:07:49,250 --> 00:07:51,120 to detach hinges from the oven. 192 00:07:51,320 --> 00:07:53,160 Insert the new hinge into the hinge holes 193 00:07:53,360 --> 00:07:56,030 and secure the hinges with screws. 194 00:07:56,230 --> 00:08:00,370 Hey, Siri, okay, can you do that for me? 195 00:08:00,570 --> 00:08:02,170 Can I do what for you? 196 00:08:02,370 --> 00:08:04,470 Can you fix my oven door for me? 197 00:08:04,670 --> 00:08:06,200 It's broken. 198 00:08:06,400 --> 00:08:10,010 I cannot do that because I do not have arms. 199 00:08:10,210 --> 00:08:12,140 You will need to call a handyman. 200 00:08:12,340 --> 00:08:14,580 The handyman isn't available. 201 00:08:14,780 --> 00:08:16,250 He's all, like, rich now 202 00:08:16,450 --> 00:08:19,180 and I fucking rely on him to keep everything working here! 203 00:08:19,380 --> 00:08:21,950 I am unable to fix an oven door. 204 00:08:22,150 --> 00:08:25,460 Oh, well, hey, Siri, I thought AI was supposed to be 205 00:08:25,660 --> 00:08:29,160 this amazing scary advancement that could, like, do anything. 206 00:08:29,360 --> 00:08:31,060 Hey, Randy, the oven door in the kitchen 207 00:08:31,260 --> 00:08:33,050 - still isn't-- - I am working on it! 208 00:08:33,880 --> 00:08:36,430 Hey, Siri, all the handymen are rich 209 00:08:36,640 --> 00:08:39,940 and I can't afford them anymore so what do I do? 210 00:08:40,140 --> 00:08:42,440 Perhaps you could find an unlicensed worker 211 00:08:42,640 --> 00:08:45,380 who does small day jobs for cash. 212 00:08:45,580 --> 00:08:47,880 You mean like those broke-ass illegal immigrants 213 00:08:48,080 --> 00:08:49,850 down at Home Depot? 214 00:08:50,050 --> 00:08:51,920 I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said it that way. 215 00:08:52,120 --> 00:08:54,090 Hey, Siri, you mean like those 216 00:08:54,290 --> 00:08:56,690 broke-ass illegal immigrants down at Home Depot? 217 00:08:56,890 --> 00:08:59,630 Yes. There are often people sitting out front 218 00:08:59,830 --> 00:09:02,700 of Home Depot waiting to be hired for work. 219 00:09:02,900 --> 00:09:05,350 Yeah. Those guys! 220 00:09:06,180 --> 00:09:08,320 (school bell rings) 221 00:09:10,420 --> 00:09:11,970 Hey, Kenny, can we talk to you? 222 00:09:12,170 --> 00:09:13,440 Sure, guys, what's up? 223 00:09:13,640 --> 00:09:15,570 Well, Clyde says that you told Tammy Mullins 224 00:09:15,770 --> 00:09:18,040 he was gonna fart on her in P.E. so she didn't show up. 225 00:09:18,240 --> 00:09:20,080 Yeah, I might have told her. 226 00:09:20,280 --> 00:09:21,750 Well, Kenny, everyone was really looking forward to that. 227 00:09:21,950 --> 00:09:23,080 Why did you ruin it? 228 00:09:23,280 --> 00:09:24,650 I told you guys I think Tammy Mullins 229 00:09:24,850 --> 00:09:27,550 - has sweet fucking knockers. - CARTMAN: You guys! 230 00:09:27,750 --> 00:09:30,720 You guys! Something super crazy is happening, you guys. 231 00:09:30,920 --> 00:09:32,120 You went on a diet? 232 00:09:32,320 --> 00:09:33,760 This is serious, Kyle! 233 00:09:33,960 --> 00:09:35,260 At first they were just dreams, 234 00:09:35,460 --> 00:09:37,500 but now I feel like I'm actually changing. 235 00:09:37,700 --> 00:09:40,200 Why would I be having visions that I'm a diverse woman? 236 00:09:40,400 --> 00:09:42,200 Because you're a fat, racist piece of shit. 237 00:09:42,400 --> 00:09:44,600 Goddamn it, I'm not fat. I'm just shamed for my body 238 00:09:44,800 --> 00:09:46,370 in a world where white men decide what's beautiful. 239 00:09:46,570 --> 00:09:48,740 (gasps) What the fuck was that?! 240 00:09:48,940 --> 00:09:51,810 Why would I say that? I don't say that. You see?! 241 00:09:52,010 --> 00:09:54,210 This is happening to all of us, you guys. 242 00:09:54,410 --> 00:09:55,980 You might think everything is okay. 243 00:09:56,180 --> 00:09:58,750 But Disney... is gonna get ya. 244 00:09:58,950 --> 00:10:00,520 Kathleen Kennedy's gonna get ya. 245 00:10:00,720 --> 00:10:03,360 Disney and Kathleen Kennedy are gonna get ya! 246 00:10:03,560 --> 00:10:05,160 (screaming) 247 00:10:05,360 --> 00:10:07,830 I don't think that what I'm experiencing are dreams. 248 00:10:08,030 --> 00:10:09,800 I think that what I'm seeing are windows... 249 00:10:10,000 --> 00:10:11,960 into alternate universes. 250 00:10:12,160 --> 00:10:13,580 Yeah, okay, I'm out. 251 00:10:14,350 --> 00:10:15,530 It's true, Kyle, there could be 252 00:10:15,730 --> 00:10:17,270 other universes with other versions of-- 253 00:10:17,470 --> 00:10:19,070 Everyone's sick of the stupid multiverse, Cartman. 254 00:10:19,270 --> 00:10:21,140 It's not stupid, it's totally possible 255 00:10:21,340 --> 00:10:22,740 and if you can't-- 256 00:10:22,940 --> 00:10:24,340 (muffled): Kyle? Kyle? 257 00:10:24,540 --> 00:10:26,380 I swear, the multiverse is just an excuse for lazy writing. 258 00:10:26,580 --> 00:10:28,450 - Whoa. Kyle! - Yeah, it's like every damn movie now. 259 00:10:28,650 --> 00:10:29,750 Kyle, what is this? 260 00:10:29,950 --> 00:10:31,850 Uh, you might wanna listen to him, Kyle! 261 00:10:32,050 --> 00:10:33,620 Kyle, you gotta help me! 262 00:10:33,820 --> 00:10:34,690 Help me, Kyle! 263 00:10:34,890 --> 00:10:36,670 (screaming) 264 00:10:51,290 --> 00:10:53,070 (whistles) Hey! 265 00:10:53,270 --> 00:10:54,470 Hey, I need a worker! 266 00:10:54,670 --> 00:10:56,470 - Is that a handyman? - There's one! 267 00:10:56,670 --> 00:10:57,980 - (all clamoring) - Hey, you wanna trade? 268 00:10:58,180 --> 00:10:59,340 What the fuck? 269 00:10:59,540 --> 00:11:01,310 Randy! You know how to do stuff, right? 270 00:11:01,510 --> 00:11:02,580 I gotta get the radiant heat 271 00:11:02,780 --> 00:11:04,080 installed in my house and I'm offering 272 00:11:04,280 --> 00:11:05,920 free legal advice in exchange. 273 00:11:06,120 --> 00:11:07,520 You need a reporter? 274 00:11:07,720 --> 00:11:09,960 I'll report the news to you if you fix my shower tile! 275 00:11:10,160 --> 00:11:12,320 How about a computer programmer? I can do coding! 276 00:11:12,520 --> 00:11:14,060 Insurance broker? Insurance broker? 277 00:11:14,260 --> 00:11:15,690 What the hell are you guys doing here? 278 00:11:15,890 --> 00:11:18,030 We're trying to get a handyman to do stuff for us. 279 00:11:18,230 --> 00:11:20,170 You know how to install radiant heat or not? 280 00:11:20,370 --> 00:11:23,800 No, I need some broke-ass immigrants to fix my oven door. 281 00:11:24,000 --> 00:11:25,270 - (all groaning) - Dang it. 282 00:11:25,470 --> 00:11:27,620 Hey! Here comes a different handyman! 283 00:11:28,890 --> 00:11:32,710 (whistles) Hey, anyone wanna make a bunch of money? 284 00:11:32,910 --> 00:11:35,830 I need four workers who know how to use a power saw. 285 00:11:36,770 --> 00:11:39,420 I'll do lawyer work if you install my radiant heat! 286 00:11:39,620 --> 00:11:41,250 I've got skills in human resources. 287 00:11:41,450 --> 00:11:42,650 Let's work something out! 288 00:11:42,860 --> 00:11:46,270 No, I need guys that know how to work a power saw. 289 00:11:47,840 --> 00:11:51,650 None of you know how to work a power saw? Jesus Christ. 290 00:11:54,380 --> 00:11:56,580 What universe is this? 291 00:12:06,630 --> 00:12:09,250 Yo, Kenny, we gotta ask you something. 292 00:12:09,450 --> 00:12:12,120 Are you, like, in love with Tammy Mullins? 293 00:12:12,320 --> 00:12:14,720 I'm not in love with her, I just like her knockers. 294 00:12:14,920 --> 00:12:17,190 Okay, well, why would you protect someone from getting 295 00:12:17,390 --> 00:12:19,890 farted on unless there were some real feelings there? 296 00:12:20,090 --> 00:12:22,090 Dude, I said I was sorry, okay? 297 00:12:22,290 --> 00:12:23,630 You guys! You guys! 298 00:12:23,830 --> 00:12:26,660 Something really weird is going on! 299 00:12:26,870 --> 00:12:29,530 I keep having the same dream that I'm a fat little white boy. 300 00:12:29,730 --> 00:12:32,270 You ain't white, but you definitely fat. 301 00:12:32,470 --> 00:12:33,840 This is serious, Kyle! 302 00:12:34,040 --> 00:12:37,080 It's more than a dream, it's becoming like real now! 303 00:12:37,280 --> 00:12:38,580 I keep seeing all of you! 304 00:12:38,780 --> 00:12:40,650 Being replaced by little white motherfuckers! 305 00:12:40,850 --> 00:12:43,320 Well, maybe you should try not being so racist, Cartman. 306 00:12:43,520 --> 00:12:45,550 You can't be racist towards white people, Stan! 307 00:12:45,750 --> 00:12:48,790 They all honky-ass bitches! You know what this is? 308 00:12:48,990 --> 00:12:51,840 I think this is some alternate universe shit. 309 00:12:52,670 --> 00:12:54,660 Yeah, right, you just acting crazy 'cause you wanna 310 00:12:54,860 --> 00:12:57,460 - get sent home from school. - No, I'm not, Kyle! 311 00:12:57,660 --> 00:12:59,260 Yeah, bitch, you just wanna get sent home 312 00:12:59,460 --> 00:13:01,470 so you can play Baldur's Gate 3. 313 00:13:01,670 --> 00:13:04,450 (yelling) 314 00:13:05,590 --> 00:13:07,590 (yelling) 315 00:13:09,360 --> 00:13:11,680 What the fuck? 316 00:13:11,880 --> 00:13:13,580 Oh, my God, it's all real! 317 00:13:13,780 --> 00:13:16,650 Whatever you're doing, Cartman, we ain't buyin' it. 318 00:13:16,850 --> 00:13:19,480 Stay away from me! You aren't my friends! Do you understand? 319 00:13:19,680 --> 00:13:21,950 Is that supposed to be Cartman? 320 00:13:22,150 --> 00:13:23,660 It ain't Cartman but it's still fat. 321 00:13:23,860 --> 00:13:25,520 Just more like little round and fat. 322 00:13:25,720 --> 00:13:27,560 Yeah, like Tammy Mullins' knockers. 323 00:13:27,760 --> 00:13:28,860 Kenny! Brah. 324 00:13:29,060 --> 00:13:31,030 Chill with the knockers. Man! 325 00:13:31,230 --> 00:13:33,370 No... 326 00:13:33,570 --> 00:13:35,780 No...! 327 00:13:37,020 --> 00:13:39,400 (school bell rings) 328 00:13:39,600 --> 00:13:41,540 Okay, so Clyde says he can probably try to fart 329 00:13:41,740 --> 00:13:43,310 on Tammy Mullins again during fourth period. 330 00:13:43,510 --> 00:13:45,240 But this time Kenny has to keep his mouth shut. 331 00:13:45,440 --> 00:13:47,450 It's fine! I won't say anything, fine! 332 00:13:47,650 --> 00:13:49,610 He's gonna say something, he's totally in love with her. 333 00:13:49,810 --> 00:13:52,680 - No, I'm not! - You guys! You guys! 334 00:13:52,880 --> 00:13:54,850 Holy shit, you guys, I fuckin' told you! 335 00:13:55,050 --> 00:13:57,640 I fuckin' told you this was happening, didn't I? 336 00:13:58,610 --> 00:13:59,690 Told us what was happening? 337 00:13:59,890 --> 00:14:01,390 I told you I was having all these dreams 338 00:14:01,590 --> 00:14:02,930 that I was a fat little white boy 339 00:14:03,130 --> 00:14:04,900 and you guys were all white boys too and now look! 340 00:14:05,100 --> 00:14:06,680 Y'all actually turned into 'em! 341 00:14:07,480 --> 00:14:09,730 - Do we know you? - I'm Cartman. 342 00:14:09,930 --> 00:14:12,640 And you're Kyle and you're Stan and you're fucking Kenny. 343 00:14:12,840 --> 00:14:14,470 Only it's a parallel, alternated universe 344 00:14:14,670 --> 00:14:15,910 and y'all have been replaced. 345 00:14:16,110 --> 00:14:18,040 Uh, okay, cool lady. 346 00:14:18,240 --> 00:14:19,810 We gotta get to class. 347 00:14:20,010 --> 00:14:21,450 Oh, no! No, no, no, no, no! 348 00:14:21,650 --> 00:14:23,180 You guys are gonna listen to me this time! 349 00:14:23,380 --> 00:14:25,150 I need help! 350 00:14:25,350 --> 00:14:27,090 Cartman's just messing with us. 351 00:14:27,290 --> 00:14:28,320 Fuck you, Kyle! 352 00:14:28,520 --> 00:14:29,850 This is serious, you fuckin' butt-fucker! 353 00:14:30,060 --> 00:14:32,720 Yeah, listen, lady, we really gotta get going. 354 00:14:32,920 --> 00:14:35,930 Will you guys fucking listen to me?! I'm Cartman! 355 00:14:36,130 --> 00:14:38,960 You're not Cartman and multiple universes are stupid. 356 00:14:39,160 --> 00:14:41,520 Oh, goddamn it! 357 00:14:43,450 --> 00:14:45,700 Tom, I'm still here live at the scene. 358 00:14:45,900 --> 00:14:48,410 Dozens of white-collar workers are gathered hoping 359 00:14:48,610 --> 00:14:51,210 to get the attention of just one handyman. 360 00:14:51,410 --> 00:14:53,780 It's a scene of desperation and a reminder 361 00:14:53,980 --> 00:14:56,700 of where our country's economy is headed. 362 00:14:59,300 --> 00:15:02,700 - Hey! Hey, hey, hey! - (all clamoring) 363 00:15:04,040 --> 00:15:06,490 Hey, hey! Excuse me, you're a handyman, right? 364 00:15:06,690 --> 00:15:09,030 Can I get you to come look at my oven door? 365 00:15:09,230 --> 00:15:10,660 I can trade you services. 366 00:15:10,860 --> 00:15:14,070 I have geology skills. Could you come fix my door 367 00:15:14,270 --> 00:15:15,800 and I'll give you some geology? 368 00:15:16,000 --> 00:15:18,900 Hey, why don't you guys get outta here? 369 00:15:19,100 --> 00:15:22,260 You're making the Home Depot look all shitty. 370 00:15:24,060 --> 00:15:26,080 Fuckin' rich assholes. 371 00:15:26,280 --> 00:15:27,780 - (all grumbling) - Ugh, sucks. 372 00:15:27,980 --> 00:15:28,950 Aw, man. 373 00:15:29,150 --> 00:15:31,380 Boy, I wish I knew how to fix stuff. 374 00:15:31,580 --> 00:15:32,580 I'd be rich, too. 375 00:15:32,780 --> 00:15:34,850 I could know how to fix stuff! 376 00:15:35,050 --> 00:15:36,850 The problem is when I could have been learning 377 00:15:37,060 --> 00:15:40,130 how to fix stuff, I went to fucking college instead! 378 00:15:40,330 --> 00:15:41,560 Hey, yeah, he's right. 379 00:15:41,760 --> 00:15:44,260 We all went to college, and where did it get us? 380 00:15:44,460 --> 00:15:46,660 Yeah, I'm still paying off my college loans. 381 00:15:46,860 --> 00:15:49,670 Yeah, so am I! Now I don't know how to do anything 382 00:15:49,870 --> 00:15:52,440 'cause I got suckered into going to college and learning stupid 383 00:15:52,640 --> 00:15:55,510 geology that anyone can know 'cause of goddamn AI! 384 00:15:55,710 --> 00:15:56,810 Yeah, fuck college! 385 00:15:57,010 --> 00:15:58,480 Let's go get our fucking money back! 386 00:15:58,680 --> 00:16:00,780 - OTHERS: Yeah! - Yeah! Fuck college! 387 00:16:00,980 --> 00:16:02,800 - Come on, let's go! - (all clamoring) 388 00:16:04,170 --> 00:16:06,350 (clamoring continues) 389 00:16:06,550 --> 00:16:08,790 - Stupid college! - You wasted our time! 390 00:16:08,990 --> 00:16:12,020 - Fuck you, college! - Piece of shit college! 391 00:16:12,220 --> 00:16:13,530 Hey-hey, college! 392 00:16:13,730 --> 00:16:15,960 You know what you are?! You're a scam! 393 00:16:16,160 --> 00:16:17,230 College is a scam! 394 00:16:17,430 --> 00:16:19,230 - (cheering) - OTHERS: Yeah! 395 00:16:19,430 --> 00:16:20,500 Yeah, that's right! 396 00:16:20,700 --> 00:16:21,630 Yeah, hey, college! 397 00:16:21,830 --> 00:16:23,270 Here's my student loan bill. 398 00:16:23,470 --> 00:16:25,200 That I'm still paying off! 399 00:16:25,400 --> 00:16:27,720 Well, guess what, I'm not paying it! 400 00:16:28,490 --> 00:16:30,540 - Yeah! - We don't owe you nothing! 401 00:16:30,740 --> 00:16:32,410 - (all clamoring) - RANDY: Guess what, college?! 402 00:16:32,610 --> 00:16:35,880 We don't owe you money, you owe us money! 403 00:16:36,080 --> 00:16:37,180 OTHERS: Yeah! 404 00:16:37,380 --> 00:16:40,300 Yeah, that's right! 405 00:16:41,140 --> 00:16:43,120 You think you can just sit there and not even 406 00:16:43,320 --> 00:16:45,790 respond to us, college? Okay! 407 00:16:45,990 --> 00:16:48,530 You aren't going to destroy any more lives! 408 00:16:48,730 --> 00:16:50,260 All right, bring in the catapult. 409 00:16:50,460 --> 00:16:51,900 Bring in the catapult! 410 00:16:52,100 --> 00:16:52,960 OTHERS: Yeah! 411 00:16:53,170 --> 00:16:54,330 Yeah, that's right! 412 00:16:54,530 --> 00:16:56,750 (grunting) 413 00:16:59,690 --> 00:17:02,890 - What's that? - That's the catapult. 414 00:17:03,860 --> 00:17:05,780 Well, but it's still in the box. 415 00:17:05,980 --> 00:17:08,280 Yeah, somebody's gotta put it together. 416 00:17:08,480 --> 00:17:10,150 Well, how are we gonna... 417 00:17:10,350 --> 00:17:11,550 Hang on, college! 418 00:17:11,750 --> 00:17:12,850 How're we gonna break the college if 419 00:17:13,050 --> 00:17:14,490 the catapult is still in the box? 420 00:17:14,690 --> 00:17:16,120 It's okay, we called the handyman. 421 00:17:16,320 --> 00:17:18,370 He's gonna build it for us. 422 00:17:24,210 --> 00:17:27,030 Hello, gentlemen, what seems to be the problem? 423 00:17:27,230 --> 00:17:28,700 Oh! Oh! 424 00:17:28,900 --> 00:17:30,500 You said you couldn't work today. 425 00:17:30,700 --> 00:17:32,440 You're supposed to fix my oven door! 426 00:17:32,640 --> 00:17:34,210 I've got a lot of jobs there, buddy. 427 00:17:34,410 --> 00:17:35,610 This one paid the most today. 428 00:17:35,810 --> 00:17:38,140 We all pooled together and offered him $20,000. 429 00:17:38,340 --> 00:17:39,810 $20,000? 430 00:17:40,010 --> 00:17:41,480 What the fuck are you guys doing?! 431 00:17:41,680 --> 00:17:44,030 You're gonna make him totally impossible now! 432 00:17:45,000 --> 00:17:46,280 (phone beeps) 433 00:17:46,480 --> 00:17:48,690 All right, send Broflovski, Marsh and McKormick 434 00:17:48,890 --> 00:17:50,870 into my office, please. 435 00:17:52,070 --> 00:17:53,160 Aw, what the hell? 436 00:17:53,360 --> 00:17:54,690 Sit down, boys. One of our students here 437 00:17:54,890 --> 00:17:56,190 says you've been treating them unfairly. 438 00:17:56,390 --> 00:17:59,200 - Treating who unfairly? - We didn't do anything! 439 00:17:59,400 --> 00:18:00,830 We're just minding our own business 440 00:18:01,030 --> 00:18:02,650 and she keeps saying she's Eric Cartman! 441 00:18:03,690 --> 00:18:05,790 Okay. And what's wrong with that? 442 00:18:07,520 --> 00:18:09,840 What's wrong is it doesn't make any sense. 443 00:18:10,040 --> 00:18:11,440 Okay, I see. 444 00:18:11,640 --> 00:18:13,110 There's a diverse female where Cartman used to be 445 00:18:13,310 --> 00:18:14,410 and you don't like that. 446 00:18:14,610 --> 00:18:16,510 It's not that we don't like it, it's... 447 00:18:16,710 --> 00:18:17,820 don't you think that's weird? 448 00:18:18,020 --> 00:18:19,620 I don't see a problem with it at all. 449 00:18:19,820 --> 00:18:21,420 And if you boys don't think Eric can be a Black woman, 450 00:18:21,620 --> 00:18:23,640 then maybe the problem is you. 451 00:18:24,910 --> 00:18:25,790 What? 452 00:18:25,990 --> 00:18:27,060 You think it's perfectly normal 453 00:18:27,260 --> 00:18:28,830 that Cartman is suddenly a Black woman? 454 00:18:29,030 --> 00:18:30,260 You probably don't like that Indiana Jones got replaced 455 00:18:30,460 --> 00:18:31,900 by a female either, huh? 456 00:18:32,100 --> 00:18:34,070 You probably have a problem with Black Spider-Man, too. 457 00:18:34,270 --> 00:18:35,770 No! Miles Morales is sweet. 458 00:18:35,970 --> 00:18:37,070 That's a whole constructed thing 459 00:18:37,270 --> 00:18:38,670 with its own character and narrative! 460 00:18:38,870 --> 00:18:41,770 This is just taking Cartman, same old Cartman, 461 00:18:41,970 --> 00:18:43,680 and putting a Black woman in it. 462 00:18:43,880 --> 00:18:45,810 Well, you know what I think about that, Kyle? 463 00:18:46,010 --> 00:18:47,080 Hold on. Hold on. 464 00:18:47,280 --> 00:18:48,550 - (farts) - (laughs) 465 00:18:48,750 --> 00:18:50,180 That's what I think about that, Kyle! (laughs) 466 00:18:50,380 --> 00:18:51,520 Goddamn it, Cartman! 467 00:18:51,720 --> 00:18:53,220 Dude, what the fuck is going on?! 468 00:18:53,420 --> 00:18:54,950 I'll tell you what's going on. 469 00:18:55,150 --> 00:18:56,820 You boys feel that your white culture is being threatened 470 00:18:57,020 --> 00:18:58,620 and so you're lashing out with racism. 471 00:18:58,820 --> 00:19:00,490 And if you say anything more about 472 00:19:00,690 --> 00:19:02,190 a Black woman Cartman not making any sense, 473 00:19:02,390 --> 00:19:04,200 then you can all just have three weeks' detention! 474 00:19:04,400 --> 00:19:05,630 Now get out of my office! 475 00:19:05,830 --> 00:19:07,400 - Goddamn it! - (laughs) 476 00:19:07,600 --> 00:19:09,270 Fuck you, Kyle. You have to help me! 477 00:19:09,470 --> 00:19:11,340 How's that fart feeling on your face right now? 478 00:19:11,540 --> 00:19:12,700 KYLE: Shut up! 479 00:19:12,900 --> 00:19:15,890 CARTMAN: Na-na-na-na-na. Heh-heh-heh-heh-heh-heh. 480 00:19:19,260 --> 00:19:21,880 (overlapping chatter) 481 00:19:22,080 --> 00:19:25,120 (Cartman moaning) 482 00:19:25,320 --> 00:19:27,920 And we both told Clyde, "Okay, you can try to fart 483 00:19:28,120 --> 00:19:29,890 on Tammy Mullins later. Kenny won't tell her." 484 00:19:30,090 --> 00:19:32,720 And guess what? This little motherfucker does it again! 485 00:19:32,920 --> 00:19:35,160 I'm sorry. She hypnotized me. 486 00:19:35,360 --> 00:19:36,860 Everyone's trying to enjoy themselves, dude. 487 00:19:37,060 --> 00:19:38,900 Why do you keep fucking it up? 488 00:19:39,100 --> 00:19:40,700 Hey, who's the fat little white boy? 489 00:19:40,900 --> 00:19:42,800 Who knows? White heterosexual males 490 00:19:43,000 --> 00:19:44,500 think they're welcome anywhere. 491 00:19:44,700 --> 00:19:47,440 - (moaning) - (bell chimes) 492 00:19:47,640 --> 00:19:50,110 Okay, children, let's take our seats. 493 00:19:50,310 --> 00:19:53,180 Today we're going to talk more about female exclusion 494 00:19:53,380 --> 00:19:54,750 in the male patriarchy. 495 00:19:54,950 --> 00:19:56,550 (moaning) 496 00:19:56,750 --> 00:19:59,650 Uh, Butters, who is that sitting next to you? 497 00:19:59,850 --> 00:20:00,890 Oh, I don't know, ma'am. 498 00:20:01,090 --> 00:20:03,090 I think it's supposed to be Eric. 499 00:20:03,290 --> 00:20:04,690 I am Eric! 500 00:20:04,890 --> 00:20:06,920 All Cartman cares about is playing Baldur's Gate 3. 501 00:20:07,120 --> 00:20:09,130 So the bitch did a switcheroo with Spanky here. 502 00:20:09,330 --> 00:20:10,760 That is not what's going on! 503 00:20:10,960 --> 00:20:13,030 And I am not going to sit here and be insulted anymore! 504 00:20:13,230 --> 00:20:14,770 I am a respected citizen in my universe 505 00:20:14,970 --> 00:20:17,100 and I demand to speak to someone with authority! 506 00:20:17,300 --> 00:20:20,760 - (radio static) - Is there a problem here? 507 00:20:22,020 --> 00:20:24,860 No! 508 00:20:26,330 --> 00:20:28,530 (tool whirring) 509 00:20:29,660 --> 00:20:31,050 Eight years. 510 00:20:31,250 --> 00:20:34,050 Eight years I spent wasting time at stupid college 511 00:20:34,250 --> 00:20:36,120 when I could have been learning how to do stuff. 512 00:20:36,320 --> 00:20:39,520 All the time we spent memorizing, studying-- for what? 513 00:20:39,720 --> 00:20:42,960 Anyone gets any info they want with the touch of a button now. 514 00:20:43,160 --> 00:20:45,560 All right, I think she's ready to go. 515 00:20:45,760 --> 00:20:47,670 - It's ready! It's ready! - (all clamoring) 516 00:20:47,870 --> 00:20:50,600 Okay, okay, aim it at the center of the school. 517 00:20:50,800 --> 00:20:52,100 How do we fire it? 518 00:20:52,300 --> 00:20:54,210 There's a big red button here. Should I press it? 519 00:20:54,410 --> 00:20:56,090 Yeah, yeah, let 'er rip! 520 00:21:03,030 --> 00:21:04,850 - Yeah! Yeah! - (all cheering) 521 00:21:05,050 --> 00:21:07,420 Yeah, take that, college! 522 00:21:07,620 --> 00:21:09,150 Let's see them ignore that! 523 00:21:09,350 --> 00:21:11,520 I can't wait to see what they do now. 524 00:21:11,720 --> 00:21:13,630 - Yeah! - Yeah! 525 00:21:13,830 --> 00:21:15,240 Hey-hey, wait, what's that? 526 00:21:20,780 --> 00:21:23,280 Hey! Hey, no, you son of a bitch! 527 00:21:24,750 --> 00:21:27,170 GERALD: He's just gonna fix the glass! 528 00:21:27,370 --> 00:21:28,640 Ugh! 529 00:21:28,840 --> 00:21:29,970 You fucking give these billionaires your money 530 00:21:30,170 --> 00:21:31,510 and then another billionaire just comes 531 00:21:31,710 --> 00:21:33,280 and profits off of that. 532 00:21:33,480 --> 00:21:35,730 Society is so fucked up! 533 00:21:42,570 --> 00:21:44,820 Something is wrong with the universe. 534 00:21:45,020 --> 00:21:46,620 Our stocks are down and every Disney movie 535 00:21:46,820 --> 00:21:48,290 this year has failed! 536 00:21:48,490 --> 00:21:49,930 We don't understand it, sir. 537 00:21:50,130 --> 00:21:52,200 We keep making the same movie over and over 538 00:21:52,400 --> 00:21:55,330 and pandering to everyone but suddenly it's not working. 539 00:21:55,530 --> 00:21:57,770 Then we've got to pander harder! 540 00:21:57,970 --> 00:22:00,140 Look, I don't want to have to say it, but... 541 00:22:00,340 --> 00:22:03,190 I think the problem is Kathleen Kennedy. 542 00:22:04,630 --> 00:22:07,350 Kathleen Kennedy has made studios a lot of money. 543 00:22:07,550 --> 00:22:10,950 Yes, before. But you have to admit something's changed. 544 00:22:11,150 --> 00:22:13,520 For weeks now she's been completely different. 545 00:22:13,720 --> 00:22:16,020 - It's true. - What if... 546 00:22:16,220 --> 00:22:19,010 this is a different Kathleen Kennedy? 547 00:22:20,740 --> 00:22:21,790 What are you saying, Rick? 548 00:22:21,990 --> 00:22:23,800 I'm just saying isn't it possible 549 00:22:24,000 --> 00:22:26,460 that we here at Disney pandered so much... 550 00:22:26,660 --> 00:22:30,020 that we've opened a doorway to the panderverse. 551 00:22:30,820 --> 00:22:32,470 The panderverse is just a theory! 552 00:22:32,670 --> 00:22:35,570 And yet we do have the panderstone downstairs. 553 00:22:35,770 --> 00:22:39,010 It's possible that someone has tampered with it somehow. 554 00:22:39,210 --> 00:22:40,910 Well, she's on her way in right now. 555 00:22:41,110 --> 00:22:43,080 If you wanna tell Kathleen Kennedy you think 556 00:22:43,280 --> 00:22:44,750 she's from an alternate universe, 557 00:22:44,950 --> 00:22:47,790 because we misused the panderstone, go right ahead! 558 00:22:47,990 --> 00:22:51,070 (doors creak open) 559 00:22:56,810 --> 00:22:58,710 Is there a problem, people? 560 00:23:00,480 --> 00:23:01,970 No problem at all, Mrs. Kennedy. 561 00:23:02,170 --> 00:23:03,900 We were just discussing ideas 562 00:23:04,100 --> 00:23:05,770 of what to do with the new Prince Eric movie. 563 00:23:05,970 --> 00:23:07,940 Put a chick in it, make her gay! 564 00:23:08,140 --> 00:23:12,440 Uh, yes, Mrs. Kennedy, uh, some of the execs are just 565 00:23:12,640 --> 00:23:15,150 - expressing that maybe-- - Well, that maybe we should go 566 00:23:15,350 --> 00:23:17,620 a different route than we did with Indiana Jones. 567 00:23:17,820 --> 00:23:18,980 Fuck Indiana Jones! 568 00:23:19,180 --> 00:23:21,240 Put a chick in it and make her lame and gay! 569 00:23:23,200 --> 00:23:24,290 Sure. Yeah. 570 00:23:24,490 --> 00:23:27,240 Let's try that... again. 571 00:23:28,780 --> 00:23:30,930 * * 572 00:23:31,130 --> 00:23:33,310 (indistinct chatter) 573 00:23:34,350 --> 00:23:36,900 And then... and then there was, like, this ball 574 00:23:37,100 --> 00:23:38,470 and then Eric floated up 575 00:23:38,670 --> 00:23:40,100 into this portal and disappeared! 576 00:23:40,300 --> 00:23:41,740 I don't care what you saw, Butters, 577 00:23:41,940 --> 00:23:42,970 there's gotta be a better explanation 578 00:23:43,170 --> 00:23:44,880 than just the stupid multiverse. 579 00:23:45,080 --> 00:23:46,580 Some multiverse stuff is cool. 580 00:23:46,780 --> 00:23:48,250 Yeah, it can be cool for, like, one movie. 581 00:23:48,450 --> 00:23:49,980 Now it's just this cheap device that people use 582 00:23:50,180 --> 00:23:52,020 to breathe life into tired franchises. 583 00:23:52,220 --> 00:23:54,240 What are you guys talking about? 584 00:23:55,500 --> 00:23:59,160 Uh, we were just talking about how amazing this all is. 585 00:23:59,360 --> 00:24:00,790 Okay, I've been trying to think 586 00:24:00,990 --> 00:24:02,230 about what we should do, you guys. 587 00:24:02,430 --> 00:24:03,930 I think I know how to make everything right, 588 00:24:04,130 --> 00:24:05,660 but we're gonna need a really powerful computer. 589 00:24:05,860 --> 00:24:07,100 Are you gonna eat your brownie, Kenny? 590 00:24:07,300 --> 00:24:08,630 Yeah, I'm gonna eat my brownie! 591 00:24:08,830 --> 00:24:10,740 Okay, fine, so we'll take you to the computer lab. 592 00:24:10,940 --> 00:24:12,000 No, no, no, no, for this, 593 00:24:12,200 --> 00:24:13,540 we gotta get a really powerful system. 594 00:24:13,740 --> 00:24:16,110 Is Kyle's mom still a big fat bitch in this universe? 595 00:24:16,310 --> 00:24:18,210 What? My mom's not a bitch. 596 00:24:18,410 --> 00:24:20,440 Well, I mean, she is kind of bitchy. 597 00:24:20,650 --> 00:24:21,980 She's a big dumb bitch, huh? 598 00:24:22,180 --> 00:24:24,080 What does calling my mom a bitch have to do with anything? 599 00:24:24,280 --> 00:24:26,380 Because we could fake a letter from Kyle's mom 600 00:24:26,580 --> 00:24:28,450 giving Kyle permission to use her credit card number 601 00:24:28,650 --> 00:24:30,920 to buy all the stuff we need at Best Buy. 602 00:24:31,120 --> 00:24:33,890 I mean, PC Principal did say we have to help him. 603 00:24:34,090 --> 00:24:36,060 Her. Them. It. 604 00:24:36,260 --> 00:24:38,000 That's the dumbest idea ever! 605 00:24:38,200 --> 00:24:40,300 I don't even know what my mom's credit number is! 606 00:24:40,500 --> 00:24:41,730 8-7-1-5... 607 00:24:41,930 --> 00:24:43,000 3-2-7... 608 00:24:43,200 --> 00:24:43,800 4-9-2... 609 00:24:44,000 --> 00:24:45,300 2-1-0-0-7. 610 00:24:45,500 --> 00:24:46,890 I use it all the time. 611 00:24:50,090 --> 00:24:53,830 - (phones ringing) - (keyboards clacking) 612 00:24:56,830 --> 00:24:59,000 All right. Full name? 613 00:24:59,930 --> 00:25:02,120 What is your name, sir? 614 00:25:02,320 --> 00:25:05,160 I told them already my name is Eric Cartman. 615 00:25:05,360 --> 00:25:07,360 We know Eric Cartman, okay? 616 00:25:07,560 --> 00:25:10,160 Eric Cartman is in here all the time getting in trouble. 617 00:25:10,360 --> 00:25:12,030 That's because I'm from a different universe! 618 00:25:12,230 --> 00:25:13,500 How many times do I have to tell you people? 619 00:25:13,700 --> 00:25:15,100 The Disney company tried to use their platform 620 00:25:15,300 --> 00:25:17,800 to bring about social change and I got fucked. 621 00:25:18,000 --> 00:25:20,840 Hey, Chief. Chief, you gotta hear this one. 622 00:25:21,040 --> 00:25:22,670 What is it, Johnston? 623 00:25:22,870 --> 00:25:24,110 Aw, God. 624 00:25:24,310 --> 00:25:26,080 This little white boy claims he's actually 625 00:25:26,280 --> 00:25:27,550 from a different universe. 626 00:25:27,750 --> 00:25:28,980 Is that so? 627 00:25:29,180 --> 00:25:30,350 All right, honkey, what kind of narcotics 628 00:25:30,550 --> 00:25:33,150 are you on? Did you do a cavity search? 629 00:25:33,350 --> 00:25:34,820 Have you even said what you've arrested me for? 630 00:25:35,020 --> 00:25:37,250 I come from a place where this is extremely inappropriate. 631 00:25:37,450 --> 00:25:39,790 - OFFICER: Chief! Hey, Chief! - Yeah? 632 00:25:39,990 --> 00:25:41,890 There's some crazy white lady downstairs 633 00:25:42,090 --> 00:25:44,000 freakin' out and saying she needs to talk to you. 634 00:25:44,200 --> 00:25:45,330 More honkies? 635 00:25:45,530 --> 00:25:47,060 What is this, a Taylor Swift concert? 636 00:25:47,260 --> 00:25:49,000 Tell the nice lady I'll see her after I'm done 637 00:25:49,200 --> 00:25:50,840 with "Eric Cartman" here. 638 00:25:51,040 --> 00:25:52,300 Well, that's just it, Chief. 639 00:25:52,500 --> 00:25:54,710 She's sayin' she's looking for an Eric Cartman. 640 00:25:54,910 --> 00:25:56,670 Says her name is Kathleen Kennedy. 641 00:25:56,870 --> 00:25:59,640 Kathleen Kennedy?! No! 642 00:25:59,840 --> 00:26:01,510 She's gonna try to change me, too! I'm the only one left! 643 00:26:01,710 --> 00:26:04,870 - Hey, get back here! - She's gonna get me! 644 00:26:07,130 --> 00:26:09,690 - (clamoring) - Tom, I'm standing outside 645 00:26:09,890 --> 00:26:13,020 the South Park Country Club where protestors have gathered 646 00:26:13,220 --> 00:26:15,490 to point out the unfairness in our economy. 647 00:26:15,690 --> 00:26:18,530 The White House says they're doing all they can but it's been 648 00:26:18,730 --> 00:26:22,300 several days now and my bathroom tile still is not installed. 649 00:26:22,500 --> 00:26:25,570 Yeah, that's right. You see, the whole system is rigged. 650 00:26:25,770 --> 00:26:28,340 You've got people like us who just need our stuff fixed, 651 00:26:28,540 --> 00:26:30,540 and meanwhile there's these billionaires 652 00:26:30,740 --> 00:26:31,840 that have all the control! 653 00:26:32,040 --> 00:26:33,240 Did you know that if just 654 00:26:33,440 --> 00:26:34,850 one of these billionaires spread their wealth, 655 00:26:35,050 --> 00:26:37,310 - (phone ringing) - it would mean thousands to every per-- 656 00:26:37,510 --> 00:26:38,750 it would mean thousands to every-- 657 00:26:38,950 --> 00:26:40,180 Sorry, hang on, just a second. 658 00:26:40,380 --> 00:26:41,690 Yeah? 659 00:26:41,890 --> 00:26:43,960 Hey, Ran, the oven door still isn't shutting right. 660 00:26:44,160 --> 00:26:45,920 Yeah, I'm working on it, Sharon! 661 00:26:46,120 --> 00:26:48,190 I'm actually working on it right now! 662 00:26:48,390 --> 00:26:50,030 Hey, one of them's coming out! 663 00:26:50,230 --> 00:26:51,430 (all clamoring) 664 00:26:51,630 --> 00:26:53,230 Please, just glance at my water pressure! 665 00:26:53,430 --> 00:26:55,770 Mr. Fix It, can you please tell us why you haven't been 666 00:26:55,970 --> 00:26:57,400 responding to people's calls? 667 00:26:57,600 --> 00:27:00,300 Well, I've just been busy with my various assets. 668 00:27:00,500 --> 00:27:02,040 You see, I've been trying to acquire 669 00:27:02,240 --> 00:27:05,880 some social media platforms. I just bought Instagram. 670 00:27:06,080 --> 00:27:08,210 What? The country needs stuff fixed. 671 00:27:08,410 --> 00:27:11,050 Why the fuck are you out buying Instagram?! 672 00:27:11,250 --> 00:27:12,570 (tires screech) 673 00:27:13,700 --> 00:27:16,990 Hey, did you just outbid me to acquire Instagram? 674 00:27:17,190 --> 00:27:18,390 Yeah, I outbid you. 675 00:27:18,590 --> 00:27:21,090 I own Instagram now and you don't! 676 00:27:21,290 --> 00:27:22,830 Oh, yeah? Well, I just acquired 677 00:27:23,030 --> 00:27:24,930 the entire Bloomberg media company! 678 00:27:25,130 --> 00:27:26,560 Oh, yeah? Well, I can kick your ass. 679 00:27:26,760 --> 00:27:28,230 You wanna fight me MMA? 680 00:27:28,430 --> 00:27:30,330 Yeah, I'll fight you MMA, let's do it. 681 00:27:30,530 --> 00:27:32,140 What the hell are they doing now? 682 00:27:32,340 --> 00:27:33,710 I'm just gonna make a company 683 00:27:33,910 --> 00:27:35,310 and I'm gonna fly to space! 684 00:27:35,510 --> 00:27:37,570 I bet I can get to space before you do! 685 00:27:37,780 --> 00:27:41,160 Gal! Fuck these guys! 686 00:27:45,600 --> 00:27:48,220 She has all the right things in her purse. 687 00:27:48,420 --> 00:27:50,190 Her driver's license says Kathleen Kennedy, 688 00:27:50,390 --> 00:27:52,290 she has Kathleen Kennedy credit cards. 689 00:27:52,490 --> 00:27:54,990 This is definitely all the same makeup Mrs. Kennedy uses. 690 00:27:55,190 --> 00:27:58,130 I mean, according to this, she really is Kathleen Kennedy. 691 00:27:58,330 --> 00:28:00,870 Or Kathleen Kennedy from another universe. 692 00:28:01,070 --> 00:28:02,630 That's enough! Please! 693 00:28:02,830 --> 00:28:04,970 We're not going to waste our time chasing 694 00:28:05,170 --> 00:28:06,740 after wild scientific theories! 695 00:28:06,940 --> 00:28:07,970 Well, we have to do something. 696 00:28:08,170 --> 00:28:10,110 Kathleen Kennedy is down on set right now 697 00:28:10,310 --> 00:28:12,010 ruining the new Bambi movie! 698 00:28:12,210 --> 00:28:14,450 Put a diverse woman in it, make it lame! 699 00:28:14,650 --> 00:28:18,050 But Mrs. Kennedy, Bam-Bambi's a baby deer. 700 00:28:18,250 --> 00:28:21,120 Fuck baby deer! Put a chick in it, make her gay! 701 00:28:21,320 --> 00:28:23,390 You guys, you better come take a look at this. 702 00:28:23,590 --> 00:28:26,490 I don't think we are dealing with our Kathleen Kennedy. 703 00:28:26,690 --> 00:28:28,760 I took images of Mrs. Kennedy and put them 704 00:28:28,960 --> 00:28:31,160 against images of her from a few months ago. 705 00:28:31,360 --> 00:28:33,800 With AI we could detect the smallest irregularities. 706 00:28:34,000 --> 00:28:35,620 Take a look. 707 00:28:43,390 --> 00:28:46,640 All right. What do we know about the panderverse? 708 00:28:46,840 --> 00:28:48,050 I'm afraid we know... 709 00:28:48,250 --> 00:28:49,480 frighteningly little. 710 00:28:49,680 --> 00:28:52,250 The only thing we know for sure 711 00:28:52,450 --> 00:28:54,320 is that if a portal were somehow opened 712 00:28:54,520 --> 00:28:55,690 with the panderstone, 713 00:28:55,890 --> 00:28:58,460 then both universes eventually will collide, 714 00:28:58,660 --> 00:29:02,260 leading to a level of pandering we can't even fathom. 715 00:29:02,460 --> 00:29:04,160 That we know for sure. Yes. 716 00:29:04,360 --> 00:29:05,360 IGER: Then we have to get everyone 717 00:29:05,560 --> 00:29:07,300 back to the right universe. 718 00:29:07,500 --> 00:29:11,090 Before it's complete pandermonium. 719 00:29:22,900 --> 00:29:25,550 Okay, Kenny, switch on the power supply. 720 00:29:25,750 --> 00:29:28,150 Stan, make sure we've got ethernet! 721 00:29:28,350 --> 00:29:29,690 - All good. - All right, 722 00:29:29,890 --> 00:29:30,990 let's just hope this works. 723 00:29:31,190 --> 00:29:33,090 Oh, man, what the hell? 724 00:29:33,290 --> 00:29:35,560 Dude, Kyle, what is up with your Internet speed? 725 00:29:35,760 --> 00:29:37,800 Go tell your parents to upgrade your Internet speed. 726 00:29:38,000 --> 00:29:39,060 No! 727 00:29:39,260 --> 00:29:40,530 Kyle, I know you're afraid of your mom 728 00:29:40,730 --> 00:29:42,800 'cause she's a fat bitch, but we have to do this. 729 00:29:43,000 --> 00:29:44,300 Stop calling my mom a bitch! 730 00:29:44,500 --> 00:29:46,400 - (knocking) - Kyle! 731 00:29:46,600 --> 00:29:48,270 I just got an alert that someone used 732 00:29:48,470 --> 00:29:50,140 my credit card at Best Buy?! 733 00:29:50,340 --> 00:29:53,410 Oh, hello, Mrs. Broflovski. 734 00:29:53,610 --> 00:29:56,380 My goodness, you're looking nice today. 735 00:29:56,580 --> 00:29:57,980 What? 736 00:29:58,180 --> 00:29:59,880 You know, credit card fraud 737 00:30:00,080 --> 00:30:01,490 is very serious, Mrs. Broflovski. 738 00:30:01,690 --> 00:30:03,420 You should call your Internet company right away 739 00:30:03,620 --> 00:30:06,090 and up your speed and make sure you're protected. 740 00:30:06,290 --> 00:30:09,130 Really? Kyle, who is this? 741 00:30:09,330 --> 00:30:11,100 Oh, haven't you heard, Mom? 742 00:30:11,300 --> 00:30:12,960 We're in a multiverse and this is 743 00:30:13,160 --> 00:30:14,550 supposed to be Eric Cartman. 744 00:30:15,350 --> 00:30:16,730 Oh, okay, I'm fine with that. 745 00:30:16,930 --> 00:30:19,070 I better go call the Internet company. 746 00:30:19,270 --> 00:30:20,470 What do you mean you're fine with that? 747 00:30:20,670 --> 00:30:23,140 I think all this stuff is great, Kyle. 748 00:30:23,340 --> 00:30:25,240 And what "all stuff" is that, exactly? 749 00:30:25,440 --> 00:30:27,110 Ha! It worked. 750 00:30:27,310 --> 00:30:29,010 She's gonna call the Internet company. 751 00:30:29,210 --> 00:30:31,580 Your mom is such a dumb bitch, Kyle! 752 00:30:31,780 --> 00:30:33,020 Shut up, Cartman! 753 00:30:33,220 --> 00:30:36,690 * Loo, loo, loo, I got some apples * 754 00:30:36,890 --> 00:30:40,590 * Loo, loo, loo, you got some, too * 755 00:30:40,790 --> 00:30:43,760 * Loo, loo, loo, let's make some applesauce... * 756 00:30:43,960 --> 00:30:45,260 - Butters. - (yells) 757 00:30:45,460 --> 00:30:46,700 Butters! Butters, listen to me. 758 00:30:46,900 --> 00:30:49,300 - It's me, Eric. - You-You-You're not Eric! 759 00:30:49,500 --> 00:30:50,700 Yes, I am Eric Cartman, Butters. 760 00:30:50,900 --> 00:30:52,270 Kathleen Kennedy is trying to get me. 761 00:30:52,470 --> 00:30:53,940 She won't stop until her master plan is complete. 762 00:30:54,140 --> 00:30:56,970 I'm not supposed to have anyone in my room, I'm grounded! 763 00:30:57,170 --> 00:30:59,380 Butters, Disney is going to get me. They already got you! 764 00:30:59,580 --> 00:31:00,910 (gasps) They did?! 765 00:31:01,110 --> 00:31:02,410 We are in this together, Butters. 766 00:31:02,610 --> 00:31:03,880 You have to keep me safe until I can 767 00:31:04,080 --> 00:31:06,880 - figure out how we're gonna-- - (knocking) 768 00:31:07,080 --> 00:31:09,020 She's here! Butters, don't let her get me. 769 00:31:09,220 --> 00:31:11,690 - (knocking) - VOICE: Butters?! 770 00:31:11,890 --> 00:31:15,260 Butters! Why didn't you answer this door? 771 00:31:15,460 --> 00:31:16,930 Oh. Hey, Dad. 772 00:31:17,130 --> 00:31:19,830 What are you doing up here? And why do you look so scared? 773 00:31:20,030 --> 00:31:23,900 Oh, I'm not scared, I'm just, uh, I'm just having fun. 774 00:31:24,100 --> 00:31:25,300 Well, no having fun. 775 00:31:25,500 --> 00:31:28,040 You are grounded. Start being more miserable. 776 00:31:28,240 --> 00:31:30,340 - Dad? - Yes, Butters? 777 00:31:30,540 --> 00:31:33,180 Uh, could you check under my bed and make sure 778 00:31:33,380 --> 00:31:34,780 Kathleen Kennedy isn't there? 779 00:31:34,980 --> 00:31:37,310 Butters, what have I told you about being more mature? 780 00:31:37,510 --> 00:31:39,450 I can assure you Kathleen Kennedy 781 00:31:39,650 --> 00:31:41,670 is not under your bed! 782 00:31:43,840 --> 00:31:45,560 (muffled groaning) 783 00:31:45,760 --> 00:31:46,960 (both screaming) 784 00:31:47,160 --> 00:31:48,060 That's fucking Kathleen Kennedy! 785 00:31:48,260 --> 00:31:49,060 Right fucking there! 786 00:31:49,260 --> 00:31:50,480 (both screaming) 787 00:31:51,380 --> 00:31:53,160 You! Come here! 788 00:31:53,360 --> 00:31:55,030 No, no, no, no, no! 789 00:31:55,230 --> 00:31:57,430 (grunting) 790 00:31:57,630 --> 00:32:00,490 No, no! No, no, no! 791 00:32:09,860 --> 00:32:11,530 (sputters) 792 00:32:13,300 --> 00:32:14,590 Well, Shelley, 793 00:32:14,790 --> 00:32:16,720 we need to talk about your future. 794 00:32:16,920 --> 00:32:19,890 You see, there's very few people at the top these days. 795 00:32:20,090 --> 00:32:22,530 AI can do everything better than we can, 796 00:32:22,730 --> 00:32:25,510 except for stuff that requires arms. 797 00:32:26,880 --> 00:32:29,270 I don't want you to end up a deadbeat loser 798 00:32:29,470 --> 00:32:30,970 who goes to college, Shelley. 799 00:32:31,170 --> 00:32:32,700 You need to stay out of school, 800 00:32:32,900 --> 00:32:35,610 and instead go out and be taught real skills that will 801 00:32:35,810 --> 00:32:38,840 still be profitable in this post-AI universe. 802 00:32:39,040 --> 00:32:42,950 So what you do is you take out your phone and you call 803 00:32:43,150 --> 00:32:46,480 the handyman, and see if those rich people will have 804 00:32:46,680 --> 00:32:49,740 any internships or training programs available for you. 805 00:32:55,840 --> 00:32:56,890 (panel chirps) 806 00:32:57,090 --> 00:32:59,430 Handyman service, how can I help you? 807 00:32:59,630 --> 00:33:01,130 RANDY: Yeah, hi, it's Randy Marsh. 808 00:33:01,330 --> 00:33:03,730 I was wondering if you might have any internships 809 00:33:03,930 --> 00:33:05,140 available for my daughter-- 810 00:33:05,340 --> 00:33:06,570 Hey! What in tarnation?! 811 00:33:06,770 --> 00:33:09,340 I told you I'd beat you, you son' bitch! 812 00:33:09,540 --> 00:33:12,540 You ain't beatin' me! Turn up them thrusters! 813 00:33:12,740 --> 00:33:14,280 My galactic cruiser's bigger than yours! 814 00:33:14,480 --> 00:33:15,610 H-Hello? 815 00:33:15,810 --> 00:33:16,810 Get out my way, you little pecker! 816 00:33:17,010 --> 00:33:18,250 Hello? Never mind. 817 00:33:18,450 --> 00:33:21,470 The rich people are all just fucking around in space. 818 00:33:22,870 --> 00:33:24,710 (rumbling) 819 00:33:25,610 --> 00:33:27,060 What the hell was that? 820 00:33:27,260 --> 00:33:30,160 I'm getting significantly strong readings from the panderstone. 821 00:33:30,360 --> 00:33:32,030 Mr. Iger. We may have a solution. 822 00:33:32,230 --> 00:33:34,900 If this Kathleen Kennedy here is from somewhere else, then 823 00:33:35,100 --> 00:33:37,930 there has to be a match for her somewhere in our universe. 824 00:33:38,140 --> 00:33:39,540 So what we can do 825 00:33:39,740 --> 00:33:42,670 is use an AI program that can take every image ever put 826 00:33:42,870 --> 00:33:45,860 on the Internet to try and find a match to our image. 827 00:33:46,660 --> 00:33:48,480 ROBOTIC VOICE: Different, different, different, 828 00:33:48,680 --> 00:33:50,410 different, different, different, different, 829 00:33:50,610 --> 00:33:53,020 different, different, different... 830 00:33:53,220 --> 00:33:54,690 Same. 831 00:33:54,890 --> 00:33:56,850 IGER: Eric Cartman. 832 00:33:57,050 --> 00:33:58,360 South Park Elementary. 833 00:33:58,560 --> 00:34:00,360 Evans, Mallory, come with me. 834 00:34:00,560 --> 00:34:02,690 The rest of you, don't let Kathleen Kennedy 835 00:34:02,890 --> 00:34:04,060 find out what we're up to. 836 00:34:04,260 --> 00:34:06,660 It's okay, we're keeping Mrs. Kennedy distracted. 837 00:34:06,860 --> 00:34:09,480 We've sent her away to have lunch at Spago. 838 00:34:10,350 --> 00:34:12,490 (classical music playing) 839 00:34:13,720 --> 00:34:15,170 There you are, Mrs. Kennedy, 840 00:34:15,370 --> 00:34:16,870 the linguini and clam sauce. 841 00:34:17,070 --> 00:34:18,380 Uh, excuse me? 842 00:34:18,580 --> 00:34:20,110 I believe I asked you to put a chick in this 843 00:34:20,310 --> 00:34:21,910 - and make her gay? - Uh... 844 00:34:22,110 --> 00:34:24,450 Yes, the chef was a little confused what you meant by that. 845 00:34:24,650 --> 00:34:27,350 It means put a chick in the linguini 846 00:34:27,550 --> 00:34:29,900 and make her fucking gay! 847 00:34:30,740 --> 00:34:32,940 And I want it lame! 848 00:34:38,610 --> 00:34:39,830 (screaming) 849 00:34:40,030 --> 00:34:43,170 She's gonna get me! She's gonna get me! 850 00:34:43,370 --> 00:34:44,650 (horn blaring) 851 00:34:46,550 --> 00:34:48,120 (screams) 852 00:34:49,560 --> 00:34:51,530 No, no, no, no, no! 853 00:34:54,800 --> 00:34:56,450 Hey, who's that, Ned? 854 00:34:56,650 --> 00:34:58,120 I'm not sure. 855 00:34:58,320 --> 00:34:59,900 No! 856 00:35:02,800 --> 00:35:04,760 There he is! Get him! 857 00:35:04,960 --> 00:35:06,610 (screams) 858 00:35:12,350 --> 00:35:15,580 No. Oh, my God, please, no! 859 00:35:17,380 --> 00:35:19,300 No...! 860 00:35:19,500 --> 00:35:20,850 Which way did they go? 861 00:35:21,990 --> 00:35:22,710 (gasps) 862 00:35:22,910 --> 00:35:25,280 We have to work together. 863 00:35:25,480 --> 00:35:27,910 Fuck you, Kathleen Kennedy! Stay away, you fuckin' bitch! 864 00:35:28,110 --> 00:35:31,500 I'm in the same situation you are, Eric! 865 00:35:33,400 --> 00:35:36,290 I know you're in the wrong universe. 866 00:35:36,490 --> 00:35:38,670 So am I. 867 00:35:45,610 --> 00:35:49,070 Well, there's no other way to put it. 868 00:35:49,270 --> 00:35:50,750 They have us over a barrel. 869 00:35:51,520 --> 00:35:55,640 We give these billionaires all our money, rely on them, 870 00:35:55,840 --> 00:35:58,330 and so they can do whatever they want. 871 00:35:59,090 --> 00:36:02,780 Let's just face it, we're never gonna get our stuff fixed. 872 00:36:02,980 --> 00:36:04,450 Yeah. 873 00:36:04,650 --> 00:36:08,850 And I guess it's nobody's fault but our own. 874 00:36:09,050 --> 00:36:10,450 Excuse me? 875 00:36:10,650 --> 00:36:11,790 My name is Bob Iger 876 00:36:11,990 --> 00:36:13,390 from the Disney entertainment company. 877 00:36:13,590 --> 00:36:15,790 We're looking for an Eric Cartman. 878 00:36:15,990 --> 00:36:18,730 Our universe has been manipulated with. 879 00:36:18,930 --> 00:36:21,150 Have you all noticed anything strange? 880 00:36:23,750 --> 00:36:27,000 Yes. Yes, the world is completely upside down! 881 00:36:27,200 --> 00:36:28,440 Nothing makes sense! 882 00:36:28,640 --> 00:36:30,140 It's because there's some kind of 883 00:36:30,340 --> 00:36:31,680 disruption in the panderverse. 884 00:36:31,880 --> 00:36:34,410 We believe Kathleen Kennedy has opened a portal. 885 00:36:34,610 --> 00:36:37,010 This is all Kathleen Kennedy's fault? 886 00:36:37,210 --> 00:36:39,480 This is all Kathleen Kennedy's fault! 887 00:36:39,680 --> 00:36:40,720 Who's Kathleen Kennedy? 888 00:36:40,920 --> 00:36:43,050 One of the top executives at Disney. 889 00:36:43,250 --> 00:36:44,660 It's not us, you guys. 890 00:36:44,860 --> 00:36:46,820 I knew there was an explanation! 891 00:36:47,020 --> 00:36:48,760 We didn't waste our time at college! 892 00:36:48,960 --> 00:36:51,130 We didn't get lazy from technology! 893 00:36:51,330 --> 00:36:53,930 Everything is Kathleen Kennedy's fault! 894 00:36:54,130 --> 00:36:56,850 (all cheering) 895 00:36:57,650 --> 00:37:00,890 Follow me. I'll help you find Eric. 896 00:37:01,690 --> 00:37:04,010 Okay, okay, everything is finally loaded. 897 00:37:04,210 --> 00:37:05,810 We got Internet at full capacity. 898 00:37:06,010 --> 00:37:07,180 You guys ready to see if this works? 899 00:37:07,380 --> 00:37:09,250 - BOTH: Yeah! - All right, let's do this! 900 00:37:09,450 --> 00:37:10,950 Launching Steam now. 901 00:37:11,150 --> 00:37:12,080 Steam? 902 00:37:12,280 --> 00:37:13,580 Okay. I'm in Steam. 903 00:37:13,780 --> 00:37:14,850 Got the application ready to go. 904 00:37:15,050 --> 00:37:16,570 The title screen is launching! 905 00:37:18,770 --> 00:37:20,820 It's working. It's working, you guys! 906 00:37:21,020 --> 00:37:22,260 It looks sweet on this big monitor! 907 00:37:22,460 --> 00:37:24,730 Wait a minute. You mean this entire time, 908 00:37:24,930 --> 00:37:26,560 all you've wanted to do is play Baldur's Gate 3? 909 00:37:26,760 --> 00:37:28,270 Yeah. What'd you think I was trying to do? 910 00:37:28,470 --> 00:37:30,170 We thought you were trying to set up some elaborate 911 00:37:30,370 --> 00:37:31,800 system to get back to your universe! 912 00:37:32,000 --> 00:37:33,970 I ain't no quantum astro physicist. 913 00:37:34,170 --> 00:37:36,710 The fuck I know about how the multiverse works? 914 00:37:36,910 --> 00:37:39,410 Wow. It really is Cartman. 915 00:37:39,610 --> 00:37:41,090 All right, that does it! 916 00:37:42,360 --> 00:37:43,750 Get out of my room! 917 00:37:43,950 --> 00:37:46,250 You have to be cool to me, Kyle. PC Principal says so. 918 00:37:46,450 --> 00:37:49,420 I don't care! All this multiple universe stuff is tired and lazy 919 00:37:49,620 --> 00:37:51,290 and we are not doing it anymore! 920 00:37:51,490 --> 00:37:52,890 Boys! Boys, 921 00:37:53,090 --> 00:37:54,630 we need to help Disney put our universe back together. 922 00:37:54,830 --> 00:37:56,130 Where's Eric Cartman? 923 00:37:56,330 --> 00:37:57,860 Dad, this might be hard to understand, 924 00:37:58,060 --> 00:37:59,460 but this is Eric Cartman. 925 00:37:59,660 --> 00:38:01,100 Oh, okay, great. Come on, Eric, 926 00:38:01,300 --> 00:38:02,630 - we need to go. - (Kyle groans) 927 00:38:02,830 --> 00:38:05,170 We have to hurry, Eric. 928 00:38:05,370 --> 00:38:06,940 No. No, wait. 929 00:38:07,140 --> 00:38:09,040 Something's wrong. Oh, my God! 930 00:38:09,240 --> 00:38:11,310 - What is it? - My save game. 931 00:38:11,510 --> 00:38:13,710 I'm already like 50 hours into Baldur's Gate 3 932 00:38:13,910 --> 00:38:16,080 but it's saying that I have to start a new game. 933 00:38:16,280 --> 00:38:18,750 Do save games not cross between multiple universes? 934 00:38:18,950 --> 00:38:20,020 Save games don't even cross between 935 00:38:20,220 --> 00:38:21,650 PCs and PS5s, why would they cross 936 00:38:21,850 --> 00:38:23,100 between multiple universes? 937 00:38:24,100 --> 00:38:25,290 No...! 938 00:38:25,490 --> 00:38:26,960 Please, everyone. We are running out of time! 939 00:38:27,160 --> 00:38:28,860 We have to close the panderverse before 940 00:38:29,060 --> 00:38:30,630 everything we care about is destroyed! 941 00:38:30,830 --> 00:38:31,800 So what do we have to do? 942 00:38:32,000 --> 00:38:33,100 We have to get everyone 943 00:38:33,300 --> 00:38:34,870 back to the proper place, but to breach 944 00:38:35,070 --> 00:38:36,670 the panderverse, we need to find a place 945 00:38:36,870 --> 00:38:39,120 with integrity that has a broken door. 946 00:38:40,020 --> 00:38:43,470 A place with "integridy" that has a broken door. 947 00:38:43,670 --> 00:38:46,160 I know where to go. 948 00:38:48,230 --> 00:38:50,610 So, yeah, so it's just basically off the hinges. 949 00:38:50,810 --> 00:38:52,620 I'd fix it myself but I've been really busy. 950 00:38:52,820 --> 00:38:54,080 Do you think it'll work? 951 00:38:54,280 --> 00:38:55,650 If we're to try to open a panderverse portal, 952 00:38:55,850 --> 00:38:57,690 it's as good as any place, I suppose. 953 00:38:57,890 --> 00:38:59,620 Okay, people, we don't have much time. 954 00:38:59,820 --> 00:39:02,840 Bring in the panderstone. 955 00:39:03,680 --> 00:39:05,730 (bicycle bell dings) 956 00:39:05,930 --> 00:39:07,900 I'm not your enemy, Eric. 957 00:39:08,100 --> 00:39:10,170 For some reason fate has put us together. 958 00:39:10,370 --> 00:39:12,740 What do you want from me, Kathleen Kennedy? 959 00:39:12,940 --> 00:39:15,040 I've been stuck in this universe for months. 960 00:39:15,240 --> 00:39:17,110 I want out of here just as much as you do. 961 00:39:17,310 --> 00:39:20,140 Hello, welcome to City Woke, can I take your order, please? 962 00:39:20,340 --> 00:39:21,310 Ugh. 963 00:39:21,510 --> 00:39:23,150 We're just having tea, thank you. 964 00:39:23,350 --> 00:39:25,150 Okay, you just wanna tea and talk about 965 00:39:25,350 --> 00:39:27,450 shitty male-dominated society, that's fine. 966 00:39:27,650 --> 00:39:29,490 I don't get it, this is exactly the kind of 967 00:39:29,690 --> 00:39:31,290 universe you wanted, why would you want to leave? 968 00:39:31,490 --> 00:39:35,210 To stop her from undoing the panderverse completely. 969 00:39:38,240 --> 00:39:40,630 I saw the panderstone for the first time 970 00:39:40,830 --> 00:39:42,030 a few years ago. 971 00:39:42,230 --> 00:39:44,170 Bob Iger took us to the Disney archives 972 00:39:44,370 --> 00:39:47,240 and showed us an ancient piece of artificial intelligence 973 00:39:47,440 --> 00:39:50,070 that could be used to make the same movies over 974 00:39:50,270 --> 00:39:53,960 and over again while appealing to absolutely everyone. 975 00:39:55,100 --> 00:39:57,310 The panderstone worked great, for a while. 976 00:39:57,510 --> 00:40:00,580 But then came the hate mail. Ugly letters from racists 977 00:40:00,780 --> 00:40:02,720 who couldn't stand that some of the panderstone's 978 00:40:02,920 --> 00:40:05,660 rehashes had diverse women characters in the lead. 979 00:40:05,860 --> 00:40:09,290 I decided I would show them. I would start making movies 980 00:40:09,490 --> 00:40:11,330 to fight all the bigotry in our society. 981 00:40:11,530 --> 00:40:13,530 But instead of doing any real work, 982 00:40:13,730 --> 00:40:18,900 I turned to the panderstone. It made things so much easier. 983 00:40:19,100 --> 00:40:21,440 Soon, I was using the panderstone over 984 00:40:21,640 --> 00:40:24,610 and over again to try and fight all the ugly feedback, 985 00:40:24,810 --> 00:40:27,660 which in turn was growing stronger and stronger. 986 00:40:28,430 --> 00:40:30,950 But I was fighting with the wrong tool. 987 00:40:31,150 --> 00:40:32,750 I used the panderstone to the point 988 00:40:32,950 --> 00:40:35,270 - that it became unstable. - (whooshing) 989 00:40:36,100 --> 00:40:37,920 It opened a portal to multiple universes, 990 00:40:38,120 --> 00:40:40,840 and something came through. 991 00:40:48,580 --> 00:40:51,800 At first we fought. I tried to send it back to its universe. 992 00:40:52,000 --> 00:40:53,500 But it got the upper hand. 993 00:40:53,700 --> 00:40:56,140 It was able instead to send me to this universe, 994 00:40:56,340 --> 00:40:58,960 out of its way so it could thrive in ours. 995 00:41:00,560 --> 00:41:02,880 (sighs) That's actually the best explanation 996 00:41:03,080 --> 00:41:06,320 I've heard as to why Disney movies all suck now. 997 00:41:06,520 --> 00:41:08,470 (typing) 998 00:41:10,370 --> 00:41:11,820 All right, I've set the panderstone 999 00:41:12,020 --> 00:41:13,560 into the compromised doorway. 1000 00:41:13,760 --> 00:41:15,910 Activating the panderstone now. 1001 00:41:17,310 --> 00:41:18,290 Whoa! 1002 00:41:18,490 --> 00:41:19,960 Space-time portal is manifesting! 1003 00:41:20,160 --> 00:41:21,630 Panderverse quantum fields are aligned! 1004 00:41:21,830 --> 00:41:24,230 Yeah, that sounds like typical multiverse gobbledygook. 1005 00:41:24,430 --> 00:41:26,400 Will you stop ripping on multiple universes, Kyle? 1006 00:41:26,600 --> 00:41:28,200 I'm trying to get back to Baldur's Gate. 1007 00:41:28,400 --> 00:41:31,340 Now I warn you, Mr. Marsh, once inside the panderverse, 1008 00:41:31,540 --> 00:41:33,210 you will be falling through different realities. 1009 00:41:33,410 --> 00:41:35,350 Your mind will barely be able to comprehend 1010 00:41:35,550 --> 00:41:37,950 - what you are experiencing. - SHARON: Randy? 1011 00:41:38,150 --> 00:41:40,180 I think the oven door is still having problems if you-- 1012 00:41:40,380 --> 00:41:43,170 I am working on it, Sharon! 1013 00:41:44,640 --> 00:41:47,660 The portal is at full. This might be our only shot! 1014 00:41:47,860 --> 00:41:49,560 Good luck, Mr. Marsh! 1015 00:41:49,760 --> 00:41:51,440 Whoa! 1016 00:41:53,350 --> 00:41:54,600 (screaming) 1017 00:41:54,800 --> 00:41:56,920 Hold on to the rope! 1018 00:41:58,420 --> 00:42:00,540 Oh, whoa! 1019 00:42:00,740 --> 00:42:02,440 Oh, my God. 1020 00:42:02,640 --> 00:42:05,110 Whoa! 1021 00:42:05,310 --> 00:42:07,610 Whoa. 1022 00:42:07,810 --> 00:42:09,710 (grunting) 1023 00:42:09,910 --> 00:42:12,550 Oh, God, it's so weird. 1024 00:42:12,750 --> 00:42:14,550 Shorts, now I'm wearing shorts! 1025 00:42:14,750 --> 00:42:16,690 (yelling) 1026 00:42:16,890 --> 00:42:17,820 Can you imagine it? 1027 00:42:18,020 --> 00:42:19,520 An infinite number of universes 1028 00:42:19,720 --> 00:42:21,730 with infinite combinations of pants and shirts. 1029 00:42:21,930 --> 00:42:25,010 What do you think about multiple universes now, boys? 1030 00:42:26,250 --> 00:42:27,500 Yeah, they're pretty fucking stupid. 1031 00:42:27,700 --> 00:42:28,600 Yeah. 1032 00:42:28,800 --> 00:42:30,130 I understand that maybe 1033 00:42:30,330 --> 00:42:31,900 you were trying to make a difference, Kathleen. 1034 00:42:32,100 --> 00:42:33,870 But you have to admit the last few movies 1035 00:42:34,070 --> 00:42:35,610 you've shit out have been real stinkers. 1036 00:42:35,810 --> 00:42:37,070 All I ever wanted was to 1037 00:42:37,270 --> 00:42:39,410 make great entertainment, believe me. 1038 00:42:39,610 --> 00:42:42,450 But as soon as you start getting piles and piles of hate mail, 1039 00:42:42,650 --> 00:42:45,050 endless messages calling you the c-word, 1040 00:42:45,250 --> 00:42:46,950 you can't think straight. 1041 00:42:47,150 --> 00:42:49,720 Well, I'm sorry I wrote all those letters. 1042 00:42:49,920 --> 00:42:51,520 It probably was a bit much. 1043 00:42:51,720 --> 00:42:54,830 No, I got like 10,000 letters a day. 1044 00:42:55,030 --> 00:42:56,460 Mm, I was doing more like 12,000 to 13,000, 1045 00:42:56,660 --> 00:42:58,910 especially after the new Indiana Jones came out. 1046 00:42:59,910 --> 00:43:02,870 Then it's you! You're the one who caused all this! 1047 00:43:03,070 --> 00:43:04,840 Fuck you! You're the one who caused all this! 1048 00:43:05,040 --> 00:43:06,770 I wouldn't have tried to fight racism 1049 00:43:06,970 --> 00:43:07,900 with the panderstone if you hadn't 1050 00:43:08,100 --> 00:43:09,240 written all those letters. 1051 00:43:09,440 --> 00:43:10,540 I wouldn't have written all those letters 1052 00:43:10,740 --> 00:43:11,780 if you hadn't tried to fight racism 1053 00:43:11,980 --> 00:43:13,610 with a fucking panderstone. 1054 00:43:13,810 --> 00:43:15,280 (whooshing) 1055 00:43:15,480 --> 00:43:17,680 Mr. Marsh! Can you hear us? 1056 00:43:17,880 --> 00:43:18,950 RANDY: Oh, wow! 1057 00:43:19,150 --> 00:43:20,920 You should see the pants I have on now! 1058 00:43:21,120 --> 00:43:24,320 Whoa! Oh, now I have on, like, suspenders. 1059 00:43:24,520 --> 00:43:27,260 Like almost like overalls but not quite! 1060 00:43:27,460 --> 00:43:28,420 My God. 1061 00:43:28,620 --> 00:43:30,660 Mr. Marsh! Try and stay focused! 1062 00:43:30,860 --> 00:43:33,360 You should be seeing another portal soon! 1063 00:43:33,560 --> 00:43:35,600 If our Kathleen Kennedy got the other Eric Cartman 1064 00:43:35,800 --> 00:43:37,100 to the right place. 1065 00:43:37,300 --> 00:43:38,870 RANDY: Oh, my God! Oh, my God! 1066 00:43:39,070 --> 00:43:40,370 Dad? What's the matter? 1067 00:43:40,570 --> 00:43:42,670 I'm wearing a Baltimore Ravens shirt now! 1068 00:43:42,870 --> 00:43:44,270 I hate the Ravens! 1069 00:43:44,470 --> 00:43:47,040 I don't know if I can do this! 1070 00:43:47,240 --> 00:43:49,180 Oh, now it's the Dolphins! Ah! The Chiefs! 1071 00:43:49,380 --> 00:43:50,980 Oh, it's the Chiefs! 1072 00:43:51,180 --> 00:43:52,550 He's losing his mind! 1073 00:43:52,750 --> 00:43:54,420 The panderverse is filled with mystery 1074 00:43:54,620 --> 00:43:57,990 and paradox, you-- you have to try and hang on! 1075 00:43:58,190 --> 00:44:00,040 (rumbling) 1076 00:44:01,240 --> 00:44:03,440 Jesus, it's getting worse. 1077 00:44:09,350 --> 00:44:12,820 Where the fuck is Bob Iger? 1078 00:44:13,620 --> 00:44:15,670 Uh, Mr. Iger just had to take some 1079 00:44:15,870 --> 00:44:17,410 of the others to a screening. 1080 00:44:17,610 --> 00:44:20,440 I think that things are being kept from me. 1081 00:44:20,640 --> 00:44:22,950 And if you're going to keep things from me, 1082 00:44:23,150 --> 00:44:25,520 then you'd better put a chick in it, 1083 00:44:25,720 --> 00:44:28,850 and make her fucking gay as fuck. 1084 00:44:29,050 --> 00:44:31,070 (rumbling) 1085 00:44:35,210 --> 00:44:37,960 So that's it, that's the connection. 1086 00:44:38,160 --> 00:44:40,900 I reacted to you and you reacted to me. 1087 00:44:41,100 --> 00:44:43,530 And I guess we created each other. 1088 00:44:43,730 --> 00:44:44,940 Mrs. Kennedy, 1089 00:44:45,140 --> 00:44:46,140 I don't think I've ever said this 1090 00:44:46,340 --> 00:44:49,140 before in my life but... I'm sorry. 1091 00:44:49,340 --> 00:44:52,140 I lashed out so hard and used the c-word so many times, 1092 00:44:52,340 --> 00:44:54,540 you didn't really have a choice but to double down. 1093 00:44:54,740 --> 00:44:58,010 Eric, I know you care about all things Disney. 1094 00:44:58,210 --> 00:45:01,620 I'm sorry I was so reckless with the things that you love. 1095 00:45:01,820 --> 00:45:04,650 It was just lazy. 1096 00:45:04,860 --> 00:45:06,320 I guess just wailing 1097 00:45:06,520 --> 00:45:10,010 on woke stuff all the time is pretty lazy, too. 1098 00:45:17,180 --> 00:45:21,550 I think... I think I can let go now. 1099 00:45:28,490 --> 00:45:31,800 Aah... 1100 00:45:32,600 --> 00:45:37,640 Come on, Kate. Looks like we got a flight to catch. 1101 00:45:44,440 --> 00:45:47,200 (electricity crackles) 1102 00:45:47,400 --> 00:45:49,600 Whoa, what the hell is that? 1103 00:45:49,800 --> 00:45:51,570 (screaming) 1104 00:45:51,770 --> 00:45:53,170 (others gasp) 1105 00:45:53,370 --> 00:45:56,110 Oh, yo, bitch! You killed Kenny! 1106 00:45:56,310 --> 00:45:58,320 You fat ho! 1107 00:46:00,190 --> 00:46:02,200 (electricity crackles) 1108 00:46:04,030 --> 00:46:05,600 (tires screech) 1109 00:46:07,900 --> 00:46:09,140 Look! 1110 00:46:12,770 --> 00:46:14,610 I'm back, you guys! 1111 00:46:16,440 --> 00:46:18,430 Kyle! Kyle, I'm back! 1112 00:46:18,630 --> 00:46:20,100 I was so wrong about Kathleen Kennedy, 1113 00:46:20,300 --> 00:46:21,700 Kyle, she's so awesome! 1114 00:46:21,900 --> 00:46:23,970 Okay, what Cartman is this? 1115 00:46:24,170 --> 00:46:25,370 Mrs. Kennedy, you're back! 1116 00:46:25,570 --> 00:46:27,770 - Great to see you, ma'am. - Thanks, you guys. 1117 00:46:27,970 --> 00:46:30,570 We have a lot of changes to discuss at the company. 1118 00:46:30,770 --> 00:46:32,980 From now on we're only going to make original content 1119 00:46:33,180 --> 00:46:34,610 that doesn't pander. 1120 00:46:34,810 --> 00:46:36,710 Sure we will, Kate. Sure we will. 1121 00:46:36,910 --> 00:46:37,980 (chuckles) 1122 00:46:38,180 --> 00:46:40,070 RANDY: Hey, guys! Guys, over here! 1123 00:46:40,830 --> 00:46:44,090 I did a little extra work while I was out in multiple universes. 1124 00:46:44,290 --> 00:46:46,560 We're not gonna have a problem with billionaires anymore, 1125 00:46:46,760 --> 00:46:48,540 check it out! 1126 00:46:49,680 --> 00:46:51,790 (all cheering) 1127 00:46:52,000 --> 00:46:55,000 Now people who can do stuff will be just as poor 1128 00:46:55,200 --> 00:46:56,370 as the rest of us! 1129 00:46:56,570 --> 00:46:58,730 (excited clamoring) 1130 00:46:58,940 --> 00:47:01,740 Tom, it appears that everything is back to normal. 1131 00:47:01,940 --> 00:47:04,470 Billionaires have been put in their place and once again 1132 00:47:04,670 --> 00:47:07,340 it doesn't matter that we don't know how to do anything. 1133 00:47:07,540 --> 00:47:09,850 It's a good ending here and we can all be happy 1134 00:47:10,050 --> 00:47:14,500 that everyone is back in their universe. 1135 00:47:19,240 --> 00:47:21,520 (screaming, panting) 1136 00:47:21,720 --> 00:47:23,230 Mom! Mom! 1137 00:47:23,430 --> 00:47:25,130 What is it, Mrs. Kennedy? 1138 00:47:25,330 --> 00:47:26,660 Oh. Oh, Mom! 1139 00:47:26,860 --> 00:47:28,630 I was just having the worst nightmare. 1140 00:47:28,830 --> 00:47:31,270 I was me except everyone around me was different. 1141 00:47:31,470 --> 00:47:32,770 Oh, no, Mrs. Kennedy. 1142 00:47:32,970 --> 00:47:36,340 Here, have some of your favorite cereal to calm you down. 1143 00:47:36,540 --> 00:47:38,570 Oh, thank you. It was so real. 1144 00:47:38,770 --> 00:47:40,210 All my friends were there but they'd been 1145 00:47:40,410 --> 00:47:41,540 replaced by strangers. 1146 00:47:41,740 --> 00:47:43,450 I think you were even there too, Kyle. 1147 00:47:43,650 --> 00:47:45,520 Really? I was there, too? 1148 00:47:45,720 --> 00:47:47,180 Yeah, that's right, Kyle, you were there 1149 00:47:47,380 --> 00:47:48,350 but you weren't cereal and I couldn't 1150 00:47:48,550 --> 00:47:49,550 just eat you like I can here. 1151 00:47:49,750 --> 00:47:51,050 - (munching) - (Kyle screaming) 1152 00:47:51,250 --> 00:47:52,360 KYLE: No, please, no, Mrs. Kennedy! 1153 00:47:52,560 --> 00:47:53,960 Oh, you're so yummy, Kyle! 1154 00:47:54,160 --> 00:47:56,290 Oh, oh, it's so good to be home. 1155 00:47:56,490 --> 00:47:58,680 Yum, yum, yum, yum, yum. 87275