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1
00:00:04,630 --> 00:00:07,210
I'm just gonna attach
this lapel mic, sir.
2
00:00:08,500 --> 00:00:09,500
[grunts]
3
00:00:10,260 --> 00:00:13,590
So, you want me to talk about
persephone odair? That's easy.
4
00:00:13,720 --> 00:00:16,260
She was a brilliant entrepreneur
who wanted to save the world.
5
00:00:16,430 --> 00:00:19,140
How I wish that was
her only shortcoming.
6
00:00:20,430 --> 00:00:24,100
My company, lifeboat, can
take an ocean of salt water
7
00:00:24,150 --> 00:00:26,650
And transform it into
clean drinking water,
8
00:00:26,810 --> 00:00:28,980
Cheaply and efficiently
with a machine
9
00:00:29,070 --> 00:00:31,820
Only the size of a can of oats.
10
00:00:31,900 --> 00:00:33,280
[audience] [gasps] oats!
11
00:00:33,400 --> 00:00:36,030
Now, the doubters call
this goal "impossible,"
12
00:00:36,160 --> 00:00:39,660
But I prefer to
say: "I'm possible."
13
00:00:39,740 --> 00:00:41,700
[applause]
14
00:00:41,790 --> 00:00:43,620
♪ ♪
15
00:00:46,348 --> 00:00:48,516
[narrator] this story is about
a little girl who had a dream.
16
00:00:48,540 --> 00:00:50,210
But it begins with
another little girl
17
00:00:50,300 --> 00:00:51,660
Who allowed us to
use the footage
18
00:00:51,710 --> 00:00:53,879
From when she interviewed
the first little girl
19
00:00:53,904 --> 00:00:55,370
Who is no longer a little girl.
20
00:00:55,395 --> 00:00:58,025
I'm so excited to
be interviewing
21
00:00:58,050 --> 00:01:01,010
Persephone odair,
ceo of lifeboat.
22
00:01:01,035 --> 00:01:02,705
So, persephone,
23
00:01:02,730 --> 00:01:05,705
You were the most be-badged
girl scout of all time
24
00:01:05,730 --> 00:01:07,940
And then followed in the
footsteps of bill gates
25
00:01:08,020 --> 00:01:10,110
By dropping out
of harvard early.
26
00:01:10,190 --> 00:01:11,650
The earliest ever.
27
00:01:11,730 --> 00:01:14,990
Our car didn't even slow
down on freshmen move-in day.
28
00:01:17,160 --> 00:01:18,755
So inspirational.
29
00:01:18,780 --> 00:01:22,490
What was the "aha moment"
that gave you the idea
30
00:01:22,580 --> 00:01:23,580
To start lifeboat?
31
00:01:23,660 --> 00:01:24,870
Great question.
32
00:01:24,960 --> 00:01:27,540
And, lisa, great questions
are the jackhammers,
33
00:01:27,670 --> 00:01:30,250
Which demo the walls
built by distrupto-phobes
34
00:01:30,380 --> 00:01:33,300
To create the open
floorplan of innovation.
35
00:01:33,420 --> 00:01:36,010
I've always thought
that about questions.
36
00:01:36,090 --> 00:01:39,010
[persephone] lisa, my grandfather
was a world war ii sailor
37
00:01:39,100 --> 00:01:40,180
Whose ship was torpedoed.
38
00:01:40,260 --> 00:01:42,680
He was stranded on
a lifeboat, lisa,
39
00:01:42,810 --> 00:01:46,550
Surrounded by water but
not a drop to drink.
40
00:01:46,640 --> 00:01:48,190
Don't tell me he died.
41
00:01:48,270 --> 00:01:48,980
Worse.
42
00:01:49,060 --> 00:01:49,940
He gave up.
43
00:01:50,020 --> 00:01:52,060
And then he died, of quitting
44
00:01:52,190 --> 00:01:54,360
And super-duper dehydration.
45
00:01:54,530 --> 00:01:56,070
But I will never give up
46
00:01:56,200 --> 00:01:59,660
Until I've raised enough capital
to make lifeboat a reality.
47
00:01:59,740 --> 00:02:01,570
[chuckling] so if you
know any billionaires...
48
00:02:01,660 --> 00:02:04,540
Well, the only one in
our town is mr. Burns,
49
00:02:04,620 --> 00:02:05,740
And he's awful.
50
00:02:05,870 --> 00:02:08,250
Once, he clear-cut a forest
51
00:02:08,420 --> 00:02:10,750
Because he thought a squirrel
was looking at him funny.
52
00:02:10,880 --> 00:02:13,670
♪ ♪
53
00:02:13,800 --> 00:02:15,750
Montgomery burns. Mm.
54
00:02:15,800 --> 00:02:18,050
Interesting idea, lisa.
55
00:02:18,130 --> 00:02:20,170
No, I didn't say
it to be an idea!
56
00:02:20,195 --> 00:02:21,405
He's terrible.
57
00:02:21,430 --> 00:02:24,300
Whatever you do,
don't go to him.
58
00:02:24,390 --> 00:02:26,390
[narrator] but the
woman who once tried
59
00:02:26,415 --> 00:02:28,665
To clone sheryl sandberg
for a school project
60
00:02:28,690 --> 00:02:30,270
Would not be deterred.
61
00:02:33,360 --> 00:02:35,320
Welcome to orlando.
Quick heads-up.
62
00:02:35,480 --> 00:02:37,440
We may have to cut
this panel short
63
00:02:37,530 --> 00:02:39,810
Due to our third
once-in-a-million-year
64
00:02:39,910 --> 00:02:41,530
Hurricane this season.
65
00:02:41,620 --> 00:02:43,780
- [wind whistling]
- put this on my reel!
66
00:02:43,900 --> 00:02:47,041
- Terrible luck.
- No fault of anyone's.
67
00:02:47,066 --> 00:02:50,225
Mr. Burns, climate change
has left the earth in peril.
68
00:02:50,250 --> 00:02:53,040
Who sent you? John
muir? Friedrich engels?
69
00:02:53,065 --> 00:02:54,605
Mike doonesbury?
70
00:02:54,630 --> 00:02:57,090
I'm getting word that this
hurricane is meeting up
71
00:02:57,115 --> 00:02:59,325
With the everglades super fire.
72
00:03:00,485 --> 00:03:03,405
Montgomery, I'm the founder
of a desalination company.
73
00:03:03,430 --> 00:03:05,970
Our world is running
out of water,
74
00:03:06,060 --> 00:03:08,470
And we need a hero to rescue us.
75
00:03:08,480 --> 00:03:11,890
And I believe that that
hero is your money.
76
00:03:11,940 --> 00:03:14,060
[wind howling]
77
00:03:14,295 --> 00:03:17,124
We sell chemicals that
can put out that fire.
78
00:03:17,149 --> 00:03:19,979
Granted, those chemicals turn
alligators into godzillas,
79
00:03:20,004 --> 00:03:23,104
But we're working on a
bomb that can fix that.
80
00:03:23,129 --> 00:03:25,713
Sorry, miss.
Desalination is a snooze.
81
00:03:25,738 --> 00:03:28,490
But I do want in on
the godzilla bomb.
82
00:03:29,500 --> 00:03:32,370
[narrator] persephone was not
shy about hounding mr. Burns,
83
00:03:32,395 --> 00:03:34,935
And he wasn't shy
about hounding her.
84
00:03:34,960 --> 00:03:36,210
[barking, snarling]
85
00:03:36,613 --> 00:03:38,408
Some fish just
swim with the tide.
86
00:03:38,433 --> 00:03:40,525
I'm the kind of relentless fish
87
00:03:40,550 --> 00:03:44,640
That falls down ten times
before it runs up the mountain.
88
00:03:44,760 --> 00:03:46,720
On ocean shoes.
89
00:03:48,930 --> 00:03:51,020
[whirring]
90
00:04:00,190 --> 00:04:02,900
Eh. Fine, you've
got five minutes.
91
00:04:02,925 --> 00:04:04,990
Who are these goateed wastrels?
92
00:04:05,015 --> 00:04:06,465
A documentary crew.
93
00:04:06,490 --> 00:04:10,360
Only the most paradigm-shifting
start-up ceos have them.
94
00:04:10,385 --> 00:04:14,360
Mr. Burns, I see your life
as a beautiful business opera
95
00:04:14,385 --> 00:04:17,713
And investing in lifeboat
as the climactic aria
96
00:04:17,738 --> 00:04:20,605
That will put you in the
same pantheon as getty,
97
00:04:20,630 --> 00:04:22,695
Vanderbilt, the spanx lady.
98
00:04:22,720 --> 00:04:26,680
Desalination is an expensive
and inefficient industry
99
00:04:26,705 --> 00:04:28,260
Begging to be disrupted.
100
00:04:28,285 --> 00:04:30,551
Success is a decision.
101
00:04:30,576 --> 00:04:32,236
Dare to choose it, sir.
102
00:04:32,261 --> 00:04:34,221
- Dare to.
- Of course.
103
00:04:34,246 --> 00:04:36,455
Like how I chose
to be born rich.
104
00:04:36,480 --> 00:04:39,455
Together we can
disrupt big salt water.
105
00:04:39,480 --> 00:04:41,440
You mean... The ocean?
106
00:04:41,465 --> 00:04:43,822
Exactly, or should I say...
107
00:04:43,847 --> 00:04:45,490
[both] excellent.
108
00:04:45,635 --> 00:04:48,135
Not only am I pledging
much of my personal wealth
109
00:04:48,160 --> 00:04:51,790
To lifeboat, but I'm giving
the company cooling tower a
110
00:04:51,815 --> 00:04:53,265
To use as its headquarters.
111
00:04:53,290 --> 00:04:56,210
Cooling tower a was
mr. Burns' favorite tower.
112
00:04:56,290 --> 00:04:59,380
He always said it held so
many precious memories.
113
00:05:01,235 --> 00:05:03,735
In addition, all
workers in sector 7-g
114
00:05:03,760 --> 00:05:05,340
Are immediately fired...
115
00:05:05,430 --> 00:05:07,736
Hey, that's me!
Screw you, pig!
116
00:05:07,761 --> 00:05:11,163
And are rehired at higher
tech industry salaries.
117
00:05:11,188 --> 00:05:12,615
Bless you, pig!
118
00:05:12,640 --> 00:05:13,996
[narrator] burns brought
his wealthiest friends
119
00:05:14,020 --> 00:05:15,948
Into persephone's fold.
120
00:05:15,973 --> 00:05:19,843
When I invest, I look at the
business's key fundamental:
121
00:05:19,868 --> 00:05:24,360
Am I under the delusion that
I have a shot with the ceo?
122
00:05:25,320 --> 00:05:27,175
[giggling]
123
00:05:27,200 --> 00:05:28,676
[narrator] burns and
persephone were soon
124
00:05:28,700 --> 00:05:30,900
Running the new
company side by side,
125
00:05:30,925 --> 00:05:32,465
Overseeing a start-up culture
126
00:05:32,490 --> 00:05:34,710
Where everyone had
a creative title.
127
00:05:34,735 --> 00:05:38,257
Persephone odair, founder
and status quo demolitionist.
128
00:05:38,282 --> 00:05:41,187
Montgomery burns,
chief change alchemist.
129
00:05:41,212 --> 00:05:43,530
Waylon smithers,
purposefulness warlock.
130
00:05:43,555 --> 00:05:46,101
Carl carlson,
braindump magician.
131
00:05:46,126 --> 00:05:48,329
Lenny leonard,
storytelling ninja.
132
00:05:48,354 --> 00:05:50,718
Homer simpson,
"compet-ticy" rockstar.
133
00:05:50,743 --> 00:05:51,890
[director] competency?
134
00:05:51,945 --> 00:05:53,260
Say it again.
135
00:05:53,285 --> 00:05:55,100
If anyone can transform burns,
136
00:05:55,125 --> 00:05:56,765
It's a visionary
like persephone.
137
00:05:56,790 --> 00:05:58,625
Like, if you work at
lifeboat, you have to use
138
00:05:58,650 --> 00:06:00,190
These metal drinking straws.
139
00:06:00,215 --> 00:06:02,780
It's so easy to clean
after every use.
140
00:06:02,805 --> 00:06:04,132
[grunting]
141
00:06:04,157 --> 00:06:05,405
I'm just... [groans]
142
00:06:05,430 --> 00:06:06,860
Why does it have to bend?
143
00:06:06,885 --> 00:06:08,675
[straining]
144
00:06:08,700 --> 00:06:11,335
♪ this is my fight song ♪
145
00:06:11,360 --> 00:06:14,080
♪ take back my life song ♪
146
00:06:14,160 --> 00:06:17,723
♪ prove I'm all right song. ♪
147
00:06:17,748 --> 00:06:20,578
[grunting]
148
00:06:21,735 --> 00:06:25,355
- [cheering]
- my fellow lifeboaters!
149
00:06:25,380 --> 00:06:28,718
I'm so excited to have you
on this journey with me.
150
00:06:28,743 --> 00:06:33,007
Imagine a world with an endless
supply of drinkable water.
151
00:06:33,032 --> 00:06:36,205
A world where every hotel
towel can be used once
152
00:06:36,230 --> 00:06:39,810
And then dropped on the floor.
153
00:06:39,900 --> 00:06:41,810
Oh, there are a lot of changes.
154
00:06:41,940 --> 00:06:43,819
Unlike when this
was a nuclear plant,
155
00:06:43,844 --> 00:06:45,888
Security's super tight now,
156
00:06:45,913 --> 00:06:48,413
And we have to sign
stringent ndas.
157
00:06:48,438 --> 00:06:50,827
And I am bad at keeping secrets.
158
00:06:50,852 --> 00:06:53,030
Like how I'm not supposed
to talk about lenny's crush
159
00:06:53,120 --> 00:06:55,319
- On his italian tutor.
- Homer.
160
00:06:55,344 --> 00:06:57,155
[speaking italian]
161
00:06:57,180 --> 00:06:58,635
[narrator] lifeboat was soaring,
162
00:06:58,660 --> 00:07:01,234
But no one could've
predicted what shocking turn
163
00:07:01,259 --> 00:07:02,931
Was in store for the company.
164
00:07:02,956 --> 00:07:05,114
Um, is this one of
those documentaries
165
00:07:05,139 --> 00:07:07,179
Where I'm not supposed
to look at the camera?
166
00:07:07,204 --> 00:07:10,017
Or is it like the office,
where I always look at it
167
00:07:10,042 --> 00:07:11,921
And do a big take so
the audience knows
168
00:07:11,946 --> 00:07:13,816
When to laugh?
169
00:07:15,705 --> 00:07:19,296
In richness and wealth,
for richer and richer,
170
00:07:19,321 --> 00:07:23,282
I now pronounce you
husband and wife.
171
00:07:31,805 --> 00:07:33,405
I'm still pinching myself.
172
00:07:33,430 --> 00:07:36,499
I'm married to montgomery burns.
173
00:07:36,524 --> 00:07:38,538
Nuclear industry legend.
174
00:07:38,563 --> 00:07:41,359
Chief s'more toaster
at the bohemian grove.
175
00:07:41,384 --> 00:07:43,229
The first man with
no blood type.
176
00:07:43,274 --> 00:07:45,259
What a joy to wake
up in the morning,
177
00:07:45,284 --> 00:07:46,780
Turn my head on the pillow
178
00:07:46,805 --> 00:07:48,765
And see her bedroom
door through the glass
179
00:07:48,790 --> 00:07:50,976
Of my hyperbaric chamber.
180
00:07:51,001 --> 00:07:54,657
[narrator] soon, persephone and
burns were the new it power couple.
181
00:07:59,837 --> 00:08:02,007
And the press couldn't
get enough of this may...
182
00:08:02,032 --> 00:08:04,663
Last-minute-of-December romance.
183
00:08:04,688 --> 00:08:06,921
It's so refreshing
to see a young person
184
00:08:06,946 --> 00:08:08,679
With the world at her feet
185
00:08:08,704 --> 00:08:11,735
Who also sees the glory
that is montgomery burns.
186
00:08:12,467 --> 00:08:14,594
[slurping]
187
00:08:16,830 --> 00:08:19,030
[slurping continues]
188
00:08:23,407 --> 00:08:25,186
[narrator] now it
was up to persephone
189
00:08:25,211 --> 00:08:26,791
To create a working prototype of
190
00:08:26,820 --> 00:08:28,900
Her amazing
desalination technology.
191
00:08:28,925 --> 00:08:31,040
The water in front
of you comes from
192
00:08:31,065 --> 00:08:32,743
The functional prototype of
193
00:08:32,768 --> 00:08:34,985
The lifeboat
desalination machine.
194
00:08:35,010 --> 00:08:36,630
So everyone please raise a glass
195
00:08:36,655 --> 00:08:39,695
To milestone this
history-defining moment.
196
00:08:39,720 --> 00:08:42,094
[overlapping chatter]
197
00:08:42,452 --> 00:08:44,803
Oh, no, you can't
drink it now. No.
198
00:08:44,828 --> 00:08:47,202
Our competitors could steal
the proprietary aquatech
199
00:08:47,227 --> 00:08:48,307
In your urine.
200
00:08:48,430 --> 00:08:50,562
[overlapping chatter]
201
00:08:50,587 --> 00:08:53,749
And just in case any of our
patented evaporated mist
202
00:08:53,774 --> 00:08:55,216
Made it into your bladders,
203
00:08:55,266 --> 00:08:57,968
We've arranged to have
you all catheterized.
204
00:08:57,993 --> 00:08:59,851
[overlapping excited chatter]
205
00:08:59,876 --> 00:09:01,200
[whirring]
206
00:09:02,266 --> 00:09:05,206
So lifeboat was just following
the tech industry playbook:
207
00:09:05,231 --> 00:09:07,101
Fake it till you make it.
208
00:09:07,126 --> 00:09:10,288
Or as I call it,
"lie-po until you ipo."
209
00:09:10,313 --> 00:09:13,390
But the employees were already
dreaming of cashing out.
210
00:09:13,415 --> 00:09:15,787
Tech salaries are the greatest.
211
00:09:15,812 --> 00:09:17,755
This week, I gave
marge 200 stock options
212
00:09:17,780 --> 00:09:19,731
To go grocery shopping.
213
00:09:19,756 --> 00:09:20,966
It didn't work at all.
214
00:09:21,075 --> 00:09:23,511
I had to put all the
food back on the shelves.
215
00:09:23,536 --> 00:09:25,769
[narrator] meanwhile, the
newly minted tech workers
216
00:09:25,794 --> 00:09:28,800
Were adapting to a much
different corporate culture.
217
00:09:28,825 --> 00:09:31,675
At the new company,
people were so secretive
218
00:09:31,700 --> 00:09:34,241
They actually moved the post-it
notes with their passwords
219
00:09:34,266 --> 00:09:35,806
Off their monitor.
220
00:09:38,335 --> 00:09:42,019
Workers were getting
fired every day.
221
00:09:42,044 --> 00:09:45,009
That tattoo is the intellectual
property of the company.
222
00:09:45,034 --> 00:09:46,284
[buzzing]
223
00:09:47,419 --> 00:09:50,839
The whole company
got so paranoid.
224
00:09:50,864 --> 00:09:53,159
Because of those ndas he signed,
225
00:09:53,184 --> 00:09:55,784
Homer couldn't even
tell me how his day was.
226
00:09:55,809 --> 00:09:58,175
I can neither confirm
nor deny I had a day.
227
00:09:58,200 --> 00:10:00,769
Well, it was strange
they wouldn't let me
228
00:10:00,794 --> 00:10:03,690
Look inside the machines,
since my title was
229
00:10:03,715 --> 00:10:06,784
Chief engineer of
inside the machine.
230
00:10:06,809 --> 00:10:08,823
And whenever a reporter came by,
231
00:10:08,848 --> 00:10:12,440
It seemed like they were
trying to cover something up.
232
00:10:12,465 --> 00:10:17,073
Well, still better than
working for zuckerberg!
233
00:10:17,098 --> 00:10:20,592
They were hiding something, and
it was really freaking me out.
234
00:10:20,617 --> 00:10:21,987
So I emailed persephone.
235
00:10:22,012 --> 00:10:24,434
And the next day, carl was gone.
236
00:10:31,935 --> 00:10:34,753
[narrator] despite the red
flags flying from this lifeboat,
237
00:10:34,778 --> 00:10:36,519
There continued to be believers.
238
00:10:36,559 --> 00:10:39,503
Persephone dominates
my vision board.
239
00:10:39,528 --> 00:10:41,159
Sure, she married mr. Burns,
240
00:10:41,184 --> 00:10:44,667
But as ceo, a woman
had all the power.
241
00:10:44,692 --> 00:10:47,355
That's what made the
internet trolls so mad.
242
00:10:47,380 --> 00:10:49,644
[narrator] all the online
negativity stirred up
243
00:10:49,669 --> 00:10:53,216
The finger-tempted anger of
a different kind of troll.
244
00:10:53,801 --> 00:10:54,737
Hmm.
245
00:10:54,762 --> 00:10:57,084
♪ this is my fight song ♪
246
00:10:57,109 --> 00:11:00,175
♪ take back my life song... ♪
247
00:11:00,200 --> 00:11:02,909
I wanted to give my
wife... wow, wife,
248
00:11:02,934 --> 00:11:04,535
Still getting used
to saying that...
249
00:11:04,560 --> 00:11:07,274
A little something
special for her birthday.
250
00:11:07,299 --> 00:11:08,879
A twitter gift card?
251
00:11:08,904 --> 00:11:10,854
No. I bought you twitter.
252
00:11:10,879 --> 00:11:13,539
The whole company.
It was a bargain.
253
00:11:13,564 --> 00:11:15,151
The previous owner
had to sell it
254
00:11:15,176 --> 00:11:17,045
After his self-driving
mars rocket
255
00:11:17,070 --> 00:11:19,450
Crashed into the
international space station.
256
00:11:19,475 --> 00:11:21,185
Oh! Mm.
257
00:11:21,210 --> 00:11:22,555
Mr. Burns, you deleted
258
00:11:22,580 --> 00:11:24,554
All negative tweets
about persephone.
259
00:11:24,602 --> 00:11:26,932
Is that evidence that
you're in a kind of cult
260
00:11:26,957 --> 00:11:29,337
And won't hear any
criticism of your leader?
261
00:11:29,362 --> 00:11:31,322
Yes, I am in a cult.
262
00:11:31,347 --> 00:11:33,387
It's called a
marriage. [laughs]
263
00:11:33,450 --> 00:11:36,330
My wife is the head of it,
and my job is to support her.
264
00:11:36,397 --> 00:11:39,553
Now, maybe you're the cult
leader in your marriage, andrew,
265
00:11:39,578 --> 00:11:42,733
But I know pilar, and I
suspect she'd disagree.
266
00:11:42,758 --> 00:11:44,928
[laughter]
267
00:11:44,953 --> 00:11:47,543
[narrator] but lifeboat was
rocked by a fresh scandal,
268
00:11:47,703 --> 00:11:50,374
When an anonymous whistleblower
bravely came forward
269
00:11:50,399 --> 00:11:52,269
With damning new information.
270
00:11:52,294 --> 00:11:54,061
[distorted voice] my best
friend carl was abducted
271
00:11:54,085 --> 00:11:55,483
Because he was
about to go public
272
00:11:55,508 --> 00:11:57,588
With a story that would
destroy this company.
273
00:11:57,676 --> 00:11:59,296
People need to know the truth.
274
00:11:59,321 --> 00:12:01,644
The lifeboat machine
doesn't work.
275
00:12:01,669 --> 00:12:04,759
[narrator] the whistle was
blown and the damage was done.
276
00:12:11,259 --> 00:12:13,258
Ma'am, ma'am, the
whistleblower claims
277
00:12:13,283 --> 00:12:14,452
The only person who has seen
278
00:12:14,477 --> 00:12:16,517
The inside of your
desalination machine
279
00:12:16,542 --> 00:12:17,614
Has disappeared.
280
00:12:17,639 --> 00:12:18,921
Isn't that suspicious?
281
00:12:18,991 --> 00:12:20,752
Why do you doubt a female ceo
282
00:12:20,777 --> 00:12:22,357
But believe the
silhouette of a man
283
00:12:22,382 --> 00:12:23,592
Sitting in the dark?
284
00:12:23,617 --> 00:12:26,867
News flash! Women
have faces now.
285
00:12:26,892 --> 00:12:27,991
[narrator] at this moment,
286
00:12:28,016 --> 00:12:29,788
Allegations that
its core technology
287
00:12:29,813 --> 00:12:33,153
Does not work are threatening
lifeboat's very survival.
288
00:12:33,178 --> 00:12:35,309
- [thunder rumbles] - Is
this the beginning of the end
289
00:12:35,363 --> 00:12:37,443
For this once-promising
start-up?
290
00:12:37,468 --> 00:12:38,988
[female narrator]
and the answer is...
291
00:12:39,013 --> 00:12:40,343
Absolutely not.
292
00:12:40,430 --> 00:12:42,180
Lifeboat will save humanity
293
00:12:42,205 --> 00:12:44,835
And become the world's
most profitable company.
294
00:12:44,860 --> 00:12:47,517
Join us next time
for lifeboat afloat,
295
00:12:47,542 --> 00:12:49,872
Persephone's total vindication.
296
00:12:49,897 --> 00:12:53,767
[burns] this documentary series
is now a burnsco production.
297
00:12:57,944 --> 00:12:59,734
Montgomery burns wasn't happy
298
00:12:59,759 --> 00:13:00,608
With the documentary
299
00:13:00,633 --> 00:13:02,796
About his wife's start-up,
so he bought the company
300
00:13:02,821 --> 00:13:04,740
That made it, but that
didn't stop others
301
00:13:04,768 --> 00:13:07,308
From telling the story,
because the business of
302
00:13:07,333 --> 00:13:10,413
Business documentaries
is big business.
303
00:13:12,202 --> 00:13:14,508
We've unearthed even more
never-before-seen footage
304
00:13:14,533 --> 00:13:16,794
Of the beatles,
including six hours
305
00:13:16,819 --> 00:13:18,802
Of them discussing
drinking water.
306
00:13:18,827 --> 00:13:21,974
The thing about water, you
can't make tea without it.
307
00:13:21,999 --> 00:13:24,102
What if you made
tea out of coffee?
308
00:13:24,127 --> 00:13:26,207
What if you made
coffee out of tea?
309
00:13:26,257 --> 00:13:28,833
Uh, fellas, maybe we
should play some music.
310
00:13:28,858 --> 00:13:32,068
[sips] why do they call it h2o?
311
00:13:32,093 --> 00:13:34,132
I bet no reason at all.
312
00:13:35,593 --> 00:13:38,143
[narrator] just weeks ago,
lifeboat stopped payment
313
00:13:38,168 --> 00:13:40,338
On their stadium naming rights.
314
00:13:47,241 --> 00:13:49,286
Despite the glut of
lifeboat documentaries,
315
00:13:49,311 --> 00:13:52,419
The definitive version was made
by a storyteller so compelling,
316
00:13:52,444 --> 00:13:55,577
He made 12 hours on the
national parks feel like 11.
317
00:13:55,602 --> 00:13:57,892
♪ ♪
318
00:14:12,234 --> 00:14:14,381
[peter coyote] the mysterious
whistleblower alleged that
319
00:14:14,405 --> 00:14:17,826
Persephone's desalination
machine was fraudulent.
320
00:14:17,851 --> 00:14:20,584
[distorted voice] the
lifeboat machine doesn't work.
321
00:14:20,609 --> 00:14:22,303
[peter coyote]
unfortunately for him,
322
00:14:22,328 --> 00:14:25,139
Mr. Burns' legal team had
acquired the raw footage
323
00:14:25,164 --> 00:14:28,131
Of the whistleblower's
damning interview.
324
00:14:28,156 --> 00:14:30,350
[distorted voice] the
machine doesn't work.
325
00:14:30,375 --> 00:14:32,553
Hey, I ordered this sub toasted.
326
00:14:32,578 --> 00:14:34,311
This is only lightly toasted.
327
00:14:34,336 --> 00:14:37,130
[normal voice] is this how
you treat a whistleblower?
328
00:14:37,155 --> 00:14:38,054
Uh-oh.
329
00:14:38,079 --> 00:14:40,195
[peter coyote] mr. Burns
and persephone now knew
330
00:14:40,220 --> 00:14:42,896
The identity of the
man who betrayed them.
331
00:14:42,921 --> 00:14:45,834
And the hiring of lawyers
to destroy homer simpson
332
00:14:45,859 --> 00:14:49,016
Proved to be quite
the aphrodisiac.
333
00:14:49,041 --> 00:14:52,189
[both moaning]
334
00:14:52,627 --> 00:14:54,438
[peter coyote] lifeboat
lawyers were relentless
335
00:14:54,462 --> 00:14:56,291
- In trying to subpoena homer...
- [screams]
336
00:14:56,316 --> 00:14:59,226
And sue him for
breaking his nda.
337
00:15:04,765 --> 00:15:06,869
[lisa] my dad got
an anonymous message
338
00:15:06,894 --> 00:15:08,814
Saying there was
something he had to see,
339
00:15:08,839 --> 00:15:10,291
So I went with him.
340
00:15:10,316 --> 00:15:11,686
What I saw changed
341
00:15:11,711 --> 00:15:14,631
The one thing I thought
could never be changed...
342
00:15:14,974 --> 00:15:16,322
My mind.
343
00:15:22,845 --> 00:15:25,635
[gasps] carl. You
sent the message.
344
00:15:25,660 --> 00:15:28,361
You've been working
in the lab all along?
345
00:15:30,766 --> 00:15:32,492
If I didn't do their dirty work,
346
00:15:32,517 --> 00:15:34,759
They'd tell the
world my dark secret.
347
00:15:34,784 --> 00:15:37,324
I've been to 700
jimmy buffet concerts!
348
00:15:37,349 --> 00:15:38,736
I'm a parrot-head.
349
00:15:38,761 --> 00:15:41,375
"cheeseburger in paradise"!
350
00:15:41,400 --> 00:15:43,137
[lisa] so, what are
they making you do?
351
00:15:43,162 --> 00:15:45,702
I'm putting something
in the lifeboat machines
352
00:15:45,727 --> 00:15:47,647
Called "jab-a-tose."
353
00:15:47,672 --> 00:15:49,462
Well, if I may frink-splain.
354
00:15:49,580 --> 00:15:50,830
In 1970,
355
00:15:50,871 --> 00:15:54,300
A very popular diet
soda called jab
356
00:15:54,325 --> 00:15:57,744
Was discontinued because of
the overpowering sweetness
357
00:15:57,769 --> 00:15:59,359
Of its artificial flavor.
358
00:16:00,329 --> 00:16:04,619
Lifeboat bought up thousands
of cases of unsold jab sodas
359
00:16:04,644 --> 00:16:08,025
Because jab-a-tose was so strong
360
00:16:08,050 --> 00:16:10,880
It could completely
mask the taste of salt.
361
00:16:10,905 --> 00:16:14,437
Oh, my god. This machine
doesn't take out the salt.
362
00:16:14,462 --> 00:16:16,976
It masks it with sweetness!
363
00:16:17,001 --> 00:16:18,921
That's the jab-a-tose.
364
00:16:18,946 --> 00:16:20,856
Ocean water enters the machine,
365
00:16:20,881 --> 00:16:23,272
And when it comes
out, it tastes normal
366
00:16:23,354 --> 00:16:26,014
But still has more salt
than all the glasses
367
00:16:26,039 --> 00:16:27,389
In margaritaville.
368
00:16:27,414 --> 00:16:30,084
Oh, my god. Lifeboat
is built on a lie,
369
00:16:30,109 --> 00:16:32,509
And persephone is a fraud.
370
00:16:32,534 --> 00:16:34,234
But her merch is...
371
00:16:34,259 --> 00:16:35,722
[sniffles] solid.
372
00:16:35,747 --> 00:16:37,247
[peter coyote]
action was needed,
373
00:16:37,286 --> 00:16:39,866
And island time was running out.
374
00:16:39,891 --> 00:16:41,555
The fateful demo day had arrived
375
00:16:41,580 --> 00:16:44,276
For lifeboat to finally
prove its concept
376
00:16:44,301 --> 00:16:46,141
At springfield elementary.
377
00:16:46,166 --> 00:16:48,546
The school's drinking
water had been replaced
378
00:16:48,571 --> 00:16:50,121
With lifeboat liquid...
379
00:16:50,146 --> 00:16:52,566
Jab-a-tose-infused salt water.
380
00:16:52,591 --> 00:16:55,587
Lifeboat employees had
drunk the kool-aid,
381
00:16:55,620 --> 00:16:58,494
And now it was being
served up to the children.
382
00:16:58,519 --> 00:16:59,519
Mr. Burns!
383
00:16:59,544 --> 00:17:01,464
The lifeboat water isn't safe.
384
00:17:01,489 --> 00:17:03,953
It's just super
sweetened ocean brine.
385
00:17:03,978 --> 00:17:06,808
Nonsense. My wife is
a beautiful genius,
386
00:17:06,833 --> 00:17:08,673
Who succeeds at
everything she touches.
387
00:17:08,706 --> 00:17:11,350
And everything she says
makes perfect sense.
388
00:17:11,375 --> 00:17:14,625
The wheel of tomorrow
is an aqua-circle.
389
00:17:14,650 --> 00:17:16,087
Let's make it rain.
390
00:17:16,112 --> 00:17:17,810
- [cheering]
- buddy, buddy, buddy.
391
00:17:17,835 --> 00:17:20,875
What you're feeling towards
that lady is fresh love,
392
00:17:20,900 --> 00:17:22,330
Not married love.
393
00:17:22,355 --> 00:17:23,605
But we are married.
394
00:17:23,630 --> 00:17:26,460
Yes, but the married love
hasn't kicked in yet.
395
00:17:26,485 --> 00:17:29,244
When it does, you'll
see your spouse's flaws
396
00:17:29,269 --> 00:17:32,899
In 4k hdtv you can
never turn off.
397
00:17:32,924 --> 00:17:34,414
What are you driving at?
398
00:17:34,439 --> 00:17:38,228
I think you need to look at
your wife with marriage eyes.
399
00:17:38,253 --> 00:17:39,647
Water is the original crypto.
400
00:17:39,672 --> 00:17:42,382
Every drop is encoded on
the biological blockchain,
401
00:17:42,407 --> 00:17:45,907
And we are the aquanauts
of the potable future.
402
00:17:45,932 --> 00:17:48,302
This is wet 3.0!
403
00:17:48,475 --> 00:17:52,459
I don't understand a
thing she's ever said.
404
00:17:52,484 --> 00:17:54,484
Now you're married.
405
00:17:54,509 --> 00:17:57,040
And since you're seeing
things clearly...
406
00:17:57,794 --> 00:18:00,834
Oh, dear. Those children
are going to drink poison.
407
00:18:00,859 --> 00:18:02,489
And the bad news is...
408
00:18:02,514 --> 00:18:04,509
I'm going to be liable.
409
00:18:04,534 --> 00:18:06,478
[echoing] liable!
410
00:18:10,165 --> 00:18:11,699
[gasping]
411
00:18:11,724 --> 00:18:13,491
[peter coyote] that is
what would have happened
412
00:18:13,515 --> 00:18:16,435
Had homer not turned
the valve off.
413
00:18:18,916 --> 00:18:21,757
Sorry, we only put that
in there for the trailer.
414
00:18:21,782 --> 00:18:24,309
Do you know how hard it
is to get people to watch
415
00:18:24,334 --> 00:18:27,584
A documentary that's not
about a small-town murder?
416
00:18:27,609 --> 00:18:29,069
Please, honey, come clean.
417
00:18:29,094 --> 00:18:31,681
Your miracle invention
is nothing but claptrap.
418
00:18:31,706 --> 00:18:35,030
If you can just admit that,
maybe we have a chance.
419
00:18:35,055 --> 00:18:39,225
Babe, the underlying imaginary
technology still works.
420
00:18:39,250 --> 00:18:40,580
[peter coyote] and
in that moment,
421
00:18:40,605 --> 00:18:44,895
This unlikely and super
gross love affair died.
422
00:18:44,920 --> 00:18:48,960
Yes, I was besotted,
blind to her machinations.
423
00:18:48,985 --> 00:18:50,423
She cost me billions.
424
00:18:50,448 --> 00:18:52,700
It wasn't that she
was evil, I love evil.
425
00:18:52,725 --> 00:18:55,685
It's that she still
insists she's good.
426
00:18:57,017 --> 00:18:59,595
[peter coyote] lifeboat
had finally hit the reef,
427
00:18:59,620 --> 00:19:01,740
Drowning its investors
and employees
428
00:19:01,765 --> 00:19:05,185
In poisoned water and
counterparty risk lawsuits.
429
00:19:05,210 --> 00:19:07,710
But to this day,
persephone has refused
430
00:19:07,735 --> 00:19:09,652
To admit any failure.
431
00:19:09,677 --> 00:19:12,887
Testing showed your de-salinator
did absolutely nothing,
432
00:19:12,912 --> 00:19:15,676
Your company is bankrupt,
and in the divorce,
433
00:19:15,701 --> 00:19:18,473
Mr. Burns somehow got
your high school friends.
434
00:19:21,579 --> 00:19:22,999
What happens from here?
435
00:19:23,024 --> 00:19:24,751
Well, christiane
amanpour, as you say,
436
00:19:24,776 --> 00:19:26,856
Things have never looked
better for the company.
437
00:19:26,881 --> 00:19:28,138
I didn't say that.
438
00:19:28,163 --> 00:19:29,473
The reality is,
439
00:19:29,498 --> 00:19:31,588
- You're in jail.
- [heavy door closes]
440
00:19:31,657 --> 00:19:33,327
Christiane, have I
ever told you about
441
00:19:33,352 --> 00:19:36,602
My grandfather's
experience on a lifeboat?
442
00:19:37,442 --> 00:19:38,739
Even that was a lie.
443
00:19:38,764 --> 00:19:40,531
Her grandfather
wasn't in the war,
444
00:19:40,556 --> 00:19:42,007
And he didn't die on a lifeboat.
445
00:19:42,032 --> 00:19:45,242
He's a cpa whose hobby is
fixing british spellings
446
00:19:45,267 --> 00:19:46,857
On wikipedia.
447
00:19:52,345 --> 00:19:54,069
[sighs] not only did I miss out
448
00:19:54,094 --> 00:19:56,054
On once-in-a-lifetime
start-up riches,
449
00:19:56,079 --> 00:19:58,637
But I lost the most
amazing woman I ever met.
450
00:19:58,662 --> 00:20:01,741
I think, in a few more months
she might've even slept with me.
451
00:20:01,766 --> 00:20:03,421
It's great to meet you in person
452
00:20:03,446 --> 00:20:06,342
After seeing so much footage
of you in our documentary
453
00:20:06,367 --> 00:20:08,947
The man who sold
horse meat sandwiches.
454
00:20:10,811 --> 00:20:11,993
Anything else to add?
455
00:20:12,018 --> 00:20:13,079
Just this.
456
00:20:13,104 --> 00:20:14,780
Don't feel sorry for me.
457
00:20:14,805 --> 00:20:17,059
Time to rebuild and reconquer.
458
00:20:17,084 --> 00:20:19,584
If I know one
thing about myself,
459
00:20:19,609 --> 00:20:22,772
Montgomery burns
always bounces back.
460
00:20:27,947 --> 00:20:30,625
♪ this is my fight song ♪
461
00:20:30,650 --> 00:20:33,438
♪ take back my life song ♪
462
00:20:33,463 --> 00:20:38,364
- [crying]
- ♪ prove I'm all right song ♪
463
00:20:38,389 --> 00:20:40,889
♪ my power's turned on ♪
464
00:20:40,914 --> 00:20:43,214
♪ starting right
now I'll be strong ♪
465
00:20:43,239 --> 00:20:45,739
♪ I'll play my fight song. ♪
466
00:20:49,335 --> 00:20:52,762
We also have over 90 hours of
them talking about umbrellas.
467
00:20:52,787 --> 00:20:55,014
Maybe that could be
a documentary, too.
468
00:20:55,039 --> 00:20:57,692
I once brought an
umbrella into the shower.
469
00:20:57,717 --> 00:20:59,991
- How did you get clean?
- I didn't,
470
00:21:00,016 --> 00:21:03,106
But at least I didn't have
to take off my clothes.
471
00:21:03,131 --> 00:21:06,301
As soon as I open my
umbrella, it stops raining.
472
00:21:06,326 --> 00:21:08,146
You need a sunroof on it.
473
00:21:08,171 --> 00:21:11,171
What about a giant umbrella
you keep in the trunk?
474
00:21:11,196 --> 00:21:15,026
Sounds like you're talking
about an "umbrellaphant."
475
00:21:15,051 --> 00:21:16,801
Can we get back to work?
476
00:21:16,826 --> 00:21:18,826
Wait. I like the sound of that.
477
00:21:18,915 --> 00:21:19,915
Get back.
478
00:21:19,940 --> 00:21:21,942
I saw an umbrellaphant
at the circus.
479
00:21:21,967 --> 00:21:23,797
He was working for peanuts.
480
00:21:32,192 --> 00:21:33,442
Shh!
37273
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