All language subtitles for Lark Rise to Candleford S02E12.DVD.NonHI.en.BBC

But he will be expecting to be

met by his father

since it was Mr JD who sent for him.

I have no intention of greeting the boy

on my doorstep with more bad news.

You're right, ma'am. He'll be terrible

upset with his mother gone sudden.

Worse than upset.

Some boys are turned to the bad

by such tragedies.

Never to be redeemed.

Thank you, Thomas.

Hamlet folk used to

call it the "ok'ard age" -

a child who was more like an adult.

They joked that such young souls

ought to be locked up

in a box for a year or two.

When such boys become fathers,

growing up happens in public.

You'll soon get used to

the Post Office, Sidney.

We sell stamps and postal orders

and we deliver parcels and telegrams.

We get all kinds of extraordinary folk

in here with extraordinary business.

The Post Office is the very marrow

of service to our community,

and I'm sure you will find that

a comfort, Sidney,

in your time of...discomfort.

What no-one has mentioned, Sidney,

is that we insist on enjoying life here.

So, perhaps a bite to eat?

Good morning, madam.

Welcome to Candleford Post Office.

What are you in need of today?

I would like a penny stamp, please.

That'll be one penny.

Sidney, you are a natural.

Minnie will show you where

to wash your hands before we eat.

Goodness.

He is for all the world

like a little man.

Your father had a riding accident

which has left him in need

of hospital treatment.

He will be well enough

to come home soon.

It is nothing to be

too concerned about.

Were you concerned?

As soon as he heard about you,

your father's one wish

was to care for you and welcome you

into his home and his life.

And tomorrow

I will take you to meet him.

Would you like that?

Miss Lane...

Yes.

Will you please show me

how the telegraph machine works?

Miss Margaret.

- Come in.

- Oh, I was expecting Emma.

Emma should be home soon enough

if you'd care to wait.

I've been trying to explain

to my children

what it means for a bride

to be given away at her own wedding.

I must go.

If you are besieged by doubts,

Miss Margaret, let me tell you,

it is common enough. It will pass.

Not doubts.

I do want to marry Thomas Brown.

I am certain of this.

But there is something

of which you are not so certain?

Thomas may decide...

I mean, Robert...

what is love?

Well...

...it's...the desire...

...and cherishing one another.

That is all? There has to be

more about it, doesn't there?

What does it matter

if we don't understand love,

just so long as we feel it?

Only...

it does come into my mind.

All day. That question.

What is love?

So...if you could tell me, please...

Why do you feel

so compelled to understand?

Because...

if it is only feelings,

feelings can change,

and Thomas might see me differently,

and realise that he has married

someone who is not lovable.

Miss Margaret...

...can't you just trust that Thomas...

I don't wish to alarm you,

Miss Margaret,

but there is a rash on your neck

and on your face.

Oh.

Oh, dear!

The Ellison Pox.

The Ellison Pox?

I am ruined.

He does seem to have

attached himself to Miss Lane.

He seems to have attached himself

to the Post Office, an' all.

Miss Lane is right.

He is a little man.

Little Man he shall be, then.

Laura, Sidney and I are going

over to the hospital.

I will leave you in charge

until we return.

Yes, ma'am.

Little Man, I've wrapped this last sausage

up for you to take with you.

Sausages can gird a boy up

like nothing else I know.

I saw these and I knew

I had to pick them for you.

Chrysanthemums is for love

and cheerfulness.

Every flower has its meaning.

More gifts.

You liked it last time

I brought you flowers.

Oh, I did.

And the time before.

And the time before that.

And the berries,

and the piece of ribbon.

I'm only being romantic, Nan.

So much romance might choke a girl.

It's just the way I am.

Well, go and be the way you are

somewhere else.

He doesn't seem

too depredated by his trials.

Indeed not.

You are a fine specimen,

aren't you, Sidney?

Miss Lane, it is indeed

charitable of you

to take responsibility

for the consequences

of Mr Dowland's unfortunate past.

I prefer to give my attention

to the possibilities before us.

We heard about the dreadful school

you attended, Sidney.

I can hardly imagine!

The rod. The cruelty.

Was it...truly awful?

Did you suffer greatly?

I was hoping Sidney might have a moment

to get to know his father in...

shall we say,

appropriate circumstances?

Sidney,

come and say hello to your pa.

I know he is looking forward

to meeting you

and I know he wants to be

a good father to you.

Miss Ellison.

Oh!

Has anyone ever caught

this disease from you?

Not that I am aware.

Because that is the fiercest,

ugliest, poisonest

furuncle outbreak that I ever saw.

Your face is on fire!

I love to ride.

And I can get you a horse,

if you would like.

Tell me...

...have you seen the hotel yet, Sidney?

Perhaps I will take a stroll

around the hospital grounds,

leave you two men

- to get to know one another.

- No.

No, Dorcas. There's really no need.

Sidney, we shall find you...

...a good school nearby...

...and we shall find you some friends.

And you can join the cricket team.

I don't like cricket.

No.

Well...neither do I.

Sidney, why don't you tell your pa

what you DO like.

Start there.

Your reading and figures and...

Yes, that is what I meant to say.

Tell me, Sidney.

I like the Post Office.

Well, we shall see plenty of that.

I am always in there.

Can we go now, please?

Yes. Sidney, you are right,

I am tired.

I should sleep.

Sidney. Let me say...

when I am up,

I will bring you home...

and you will see...

I can be...

WE can be.

You will see,

I promise you.

Oh, Lordy!

- Look at this.

- Emma.

Emma! The Ellison Pox has taken me.

I cannot marry.

I cannot possibly marry!

Oh, we'll see about that now.

Emma, have you got any fresh lard?

The man is a living scandal.

To deceive the whole town

into believing

he was the owner

of a vast chain of London hotels.

When he was nothing more than

the lap-boy of some moneyed widow.

And to bring Candleford

into such disrepute,

playing out his sordid, sordid,

sordid entanglements

- practically in the streets.

- Sordid.

A fitting, girl, is to enable us to fit.

We cannot fit if you are incapable

of remaining still

for more than a second.

To be a bridesmaid is

a great moment in every girl's life.

Don't I look beautiful!

And to top it all,

an illegitimate child.

Is there no end

to the man's immorality?

Sordid.

I thought you quite liked Mr JD.

Mr JD... Mr Dowland wears

a convincing mask of presentability.

But we soon perceived his inner rot.

It always comes back to breeding.

Mr Dowland may wear a suit,

but he will never wash off

the grime of Lark Rise.

Miss Lane says that, as things are,

we must think only of the child.

Yes, poor mite.

That is laudable of Dorcas, of course.

Miss Lane can be relied upon

to be heroic.

Nettle, burdock,

yellow dock, dandelion.

This lard poultice was taught to me

by my grandma

and I've never known it fail

with any ailment of the skin.

Oh, but look at her hands.

It's getting worse.

My face does feel

more itching than ever.

- I can't fathom it.

- She's getting married in three days.

She can't be a bride looking like

something the dog's left over.

I cannot let Thomas see me like this

coming up the aisle.

It must be a terrible ailment

to be beyond my poultice.

Perhaps if I add

some elderflower and comfrey,

that might be the remedy.

Thomas Brown frets

about the slightest thing.

If he were to see Miss Margaret like this

before the wedding...

Perhaps we ought to keep you

here in the End House

until we can find a cure for this,

Miss Margaret.

What are you doing?

Prayer is listening.

It is at times like this

that we feel The Presence.

We place ourselves into

the palm of God's care

and our every step will be guided.

Sidney...

the greatest day of my life

is fast approaching

and I know that I must seek

the will of the Lord.

I seek...

then...

...bing!

Bing?

Bing!

There it is. Before me.

The gift...

of guidance.

Sidney.

She asked me to be

like a father to her

and as soon as she comes to me

for help, look what comes of it.

You do take on, Robert Timmins.

Miss Ellison is a logic unto herself,

everyone knows that.

It seemed to come upon her

as she was asking me what love is.

That's because, you see, it ain't

so much her skin that's sickening,

as her mind.

Miss Ellison's mind is too delicate.

Always was.

What she has is a pox of the brain.

A thinking sickness.

Put upon her by her pa.

Perhaps that is why, talking to me,

it's come upon her again.

What's got under your skin, Alfie?

Love.

If either of you know any impediment

why you may not be joined together

in holy matrimony, that ye confess it.

That ye confess it.

I daren't show my face

round the door

but he's giving me this treat

or that consideration.

Would you rather Alf treated you badly,

chasing around after girls,

never a care for you?

What is that look on your face, Nan?

If you are going to stare at me,

then I will tell you.

I do like bad boys. They're more fun,

and there's the truth of it.

Is it now?

Well, my girl,

you go and hitch yourself up

with one of them bad boys

and see what joys it brings you.

Have you any idea what an unjust slur

you are putting on Alfie?

He is so much more than kindnesses.

But you can't see it.

You're right. I can't see it.

A nice boy ain't what I want,

and all I ever see in Alfie

is sweetness.

Girl, you must go ahead

and follow your feelings,

because no amount of talk from me

will change your mind.

But I will tell you the risks.

I owe you the truth.

You could lose everything.

Now, you decide.

Laura, why do we throw raisins at

the married couple on their wedding day?

Well, to wish them prosperity

and fertility.

Are you all right, Thomas?

No, Laura.

I am burdened with

the need to confess.

The Book Of Common Prayer tells us

we must rid ourselves of

all blemish and sin

if we are to be fit for matrimony.

- Sin? Have you sinned, Thomas?

- Oh, I have.

I have not always been as dedicated

to my work as I might be.

I have...loitered.

Loitered? I thought

you were going to say

you'd threw stones at cats

or set fire to a hayrick, like I did.

I have been known to gossip

and sit in judgement of my fellow man.

Thomas, that is hardly the stuff

to call off a wedding.

I once condemned

Miss Ellison's father publicly.

I must cleanse my soul before her

if I am to be worthy of that...

- dear woman.

- Thomas, truly,

perhaps now is not the best moment

to trouble Miss Margaret

with your confessions, for I am sure

she is in such a bloom of happiness.

Oh, but I must. My mission is clear.

I will seek out Miss Ellison

and confess all. All!

Laura, is loitering truly a sin?

No, Minnie. It is not.

Oh, then I shall go to heaven.

Ten.

Well done.

You count this stack.

Nine.

It's a good job I have you

to keep an eye on me, Sidney.

Write it up.

Very neat handwriting.

Who taught you such a fine hand?

Myself.

And your hair brushed so smartly?

And your tie?

Myself.

Sidney, I think you are a remarkable boy.

What I mean to say is...

- if you want to talk, I can listen.

- Ten.

You don't say much, do you?

Miss Lane says I talk too much.

Miss Lane says there's not a thought

crosses my mind that don't get spoke.

But you keep it all inside.

You're like a pie, ain't you? All crust,

the meat hid away in the gravy.

I reckon I am like a sponge pudding.

With custard.

If we had half of you and half of me,

what would we have?

Dinner.

If you do need to talk,

and I ain't saying you do,

you can trust Miss Lane

with your troubles.

If you can't manage that,

I can tell you what she'll say anyway.

"We only have to be well today.

"That's all we can do.

"We can only do our best. Be willing."

So you can do it, see.

I'll tell you something, Little Man.

I reckon this Post Office is

the safest place in the whole world.

Thomas Brown, we are most concerned

to know how it is with the boy.

Poor, dear love!

Ladies, may I ask...

when will Miss Ellison call

to collect her wedding dress?

The final fitting is tomorrow.

Is there anything

the matter, Thomas?

Thomas, you are looking at me

most oddly.

Am I looking at you?

I am?

I must not look at you.

I am a man about to be married.

He didn't leave our post.

I expect this is all

rather new for you. Rather grand.

- It's big.

- Yes.

But isn't it all going to be

rather delightful

- for Thomas Brown's wedding banquet?

- It's too big.

Oh, Sidney, I know how you must feel.

Your father's accident.

Being thrown into a strange life

at the Post Office...

The Post Office isn't strange.

The hotel is strange.

Thomas, I can't decide

which hat to wear to the wedding.

Do you think feathers or silk?

Oh, dear.

Have you still not managed

to track down Miss Ellison?

Ma'am, the Lord has given me

this hiatus

so that I may further examine my soul.

And, ma'am,

I am finding much to contemplate

and much to confess.

Thomas, I do wish you could

just relish the occasion.

The food, I know, will be sumptuous.

I went to great lengths

to prepare the menu.

This is a serious matter, Miss Lane.

I am in need of pleading guilty

to the fact that I have been attracted...

...to Miss Ruby.

When?

I was, I believe, 18.

Thomas, being attracted to

a comely local woman in your youth

is not a crime.

I must cleanse my spirit.

But it is normal.

Everyone has such feelings.

Miss Ellison herself will have

entertained affections for someone.

Miss Ellison?

Entertained affections?

For another man?

Of course.

Who?

I have no idea.

I was only trying to explain...

I must know.

I must find out.

Dear God in Heaven,

I place myself

in the palm of your care.

Please don't make me

leave the Post Office.

I don't want a father.

I want Miss Lane.

Please.

I was mistaken in thinking

we should give Sidney

such a wholehearted welcome

into the Post Office.

He has fastened on to us

and I see now that might not be

the best thing for him...

or his father.

There is already a rift between them

and it is all my doing.

But, ma'am...

we can't make ourselves

any colder towards Little Man.

Surely he still needs all the warmth

and kindness we can give to him.

That is my dilemma.

And the longer it goes on,

the worse it will become.

That is not all of the difficulty,

is it, ma'am?

We are fastening on to Sidney, too.

I can see your fondness for him.

Now you are trying to stop yourself.

There is something

locked inside of him.

He copes so well...

...and he makes himself fit in.

He is such a brave little fellow.

And part of me feels

that I should try and reach him...

Ma'am, he's praying.

Little Man is praying

to stay here in the Post Office.

James! You ain't meant to be up yet.

- You ain't ready for it.

- I have to be with my son, Queenie.

Before it is too late.

And you are certain, are you,

that you know what you're

about to do is right?

He needs to see me well,

he needs to see me strong.

Is that what he will see?

He will see me trying.

He will see me coming to him.

Why do you always believe

you have to take on the world

to make things right, James?

Why can't you trust that

things are as they should be?

Perhaps you're sick

because you're meant to be sick.

No, you are wrong, Queenie.

I must act before it is too late.

James, can you hear

what you're saying?

Always this need to prove yourself.

Here it is, pulling you

from your sick bed.

You are James. That is enough.

A Lark Rise boy.

That is plenty.

If you're on you're way home, Mr Dowland,

you have lost your way.

I know my way home.

You have it so easy.

I don't need your help.

Not you. Nor any of you.

James, you are not fit.

What? Not fit to be a father?

Not fit to get yourself home.

That is all.

I know what you think of me.

I see it in your face.

Do you?

You see my mind?

I think many things of you, sir.

Today what I feel is pity.

Don't pity me.

Not you.

You think you're the only man on

God's earth to have burdens, Mr Dowland?

You in't at war with me.

You're at war with yourself.

And if you don't stop,

it will kill you. That's what I say.

You have courage, James, but perhaps

courage is not what you need now.

Now let me get you home.

Bees, bees,

I hope you're sleeping snug.

Is that lady speaking to her bees?

She's been having a conversation

with those bees

for more than 40 years.

In't you just the image! Sidney.

You might not know it,

but this here is where you come from.

All of your past is here.

You don't know

what I'm talking about, do you?

You make sure you find time

to come here to play, child.

With the scraps of crockery

in the lane.

Spend an afternoon

laying on your belly

peering down into the cracks

in the ground that I peered into.

In't Miss Lane starting them young

these days.

I hope she's paying you

fair wages, boy.

Slave labour it is now

at that Post Office.

Now this here is Mr Turrell,

my husband. This is Sidney.

Sidney.

Laura, will you do something for me?

Will you tell Thomas Brown

that you saw Miss Ellison

and that all is well with her?

Is there something the matter, Ma?

The poor woman is plagued

with a need to know what love is.

But everyone knows what love is.

Is that so?

Care to tell me in so many words.

There is something else

you can do, our Laura.

But you must keep

the purpose of it to yourself.

Secret.

I received your message, James, that

you were home and wanted to see me.

I requested

that you bring Sidney to me.

Sidney is out on the rounds

with Laura.

I thought it might be

a pleasant way

for him to find his way around a little.

We didn't expect you home

quite so soon.

And since it is only you and I,

perhaps there is an opportunity

for us to discuss...

What is there to discuss?

The situation is fragile.

We must ask ourselves

how to manage the next transition

- so that it is...

- I am home.

I want my son with me.

Sidney is afraid.

We might only add to his fear

if things do not go well now.

What do you suggest?

The boy finds the hotel intimidating,

James.

Perhaps you could be with him

in the Post Office...at first.

This might give you a few days

to recuperate

and still get to know Sidney.

Don't rush him.

Let him come to you.

He will.

I am certain of it.

You are his father.

It is what he will want.

Then I must trust you in this.

Can you do that?

Yes.

Miss Pearl,

Miss Ruby.

Miss Ellison would like me to collect

her dress and deliver it to her.

Don't be ridiculous, girl, we shall

need to undertake a final fitting.

Thomas has been looking for

Miss Ellison.

She seems to be...missing.

I am only permitted to say

that I am to bring the dress.

We will not allow it. Our reputation

hangs on a correct fitting.

And Miss Ellison will want to look

at her best on her wedding day.

There is something untoward,

isn't there, girl?

Perhaps WE could bring the dress

to Miss Ellison...

if you were to tell us where she is?

The dress shall not leave this shop

without a professional hand on it.

I hear you went out

on the post round.

You saw Lark Rise.

That is where I spent my childhood.

And you met Queenie?

She was like a mother to me,

and I expect she would dearly love

to be a grandma to you.

Would you like that?

I would.

We can have your name inscribed

upon it, if you would like?

Thank you.

Thomas, I saw Miss Ellison today.

Where? Where? Does she know

that I am searching for her?

She said she would come by,

but she has been so busy...

with her preparations.

Thomas is in need of confessing

all of his past sins,

which don't amount to much.

Eating a burnt sausage

and whistling in bed!

Minnie! I will have you know,

for a man to cleanse his soul

before the woman he loves

is as close to piety

as a humble postman can get!

"Pie for tea"?

Close to pie for tea?

I will not allow my "piety"

nor my marriage to be mocked.

Thomas, no-one wants

to mock your marriage.

We are all intent on celebrating it,

except you!

James!

Are you all right, sir?

Don't be afraid. I am well.

Come here to me, boy.

Come and see, I am well.

Don't back away from me.

Don't turn away from me!

James, please, it is too much.

He is afraid.

He cannot help you.

He cannot even help himself.

Girls don't want nice.

That's what they might say,

but a girl can fall in love

without knowing it's happening

or why it's happening.

If she thinks she might

have missed her chance

then she sees a boy for what he truly is.

All I seem to live for, Laura,

is the pleasing of whoever happens

to be in front of me.

I'm sick of it,

and I am decided to be shot

of this way of thinking.

I can see you mean it.

From now on I shall have a good look

at what it is that I want.

If you could do one thing for yourself,

what would it be?

Something that would make your blood

sing from the sheer wildness of it.

I have always had this one thought,

ever since I was a nipper,

to ring the church bells, good and loud.

In the middle of the night.

Alfie and Nan have had such a falling out.

Perhaps he's realising

that Nan in't the girl for him.

Oh, no, they are so well matched.

Well, if I am going to be honest,

I'd say that I believe Alfie

might do better for himself.

And why is that?

Well, he's always been handsome,

and now he's reading and making something

of himself with his work.

He'd be quite a catch.

Outside.

Come on. All of you.

Outside.

Out.

Our Laura,

don't you dare toy with Alfie's feelings.

Ma, please!

- I would never be so reckless.

- Has the thought crossed your mind?

You and Alfie?

Oh, Lordy,

what a fine tangle this will prove to be.

Ma, please. I'm not a fool.

He's...

Well, he's...

Handsome. A catch.

Making something of himself. Oh, Lordy!

I have no need

to explain myself to nobody.

I didn't notice that I asked you to, Nan.

All that defiance,

that ain't fooling me, Nan.

What if I were to tell you

you deserved a good, loving man?

That you were worthy of him,

no matter what you might

think of yourself?

The truth is, girl, for some folk

it is so much harder to accept love

than it is to give it.

But you can try. See.

Let yourself be loved.

You did it, Alf, you did it!

Laura, are you all right?

Was that you screaming?

It wasn't screaming, ma'am.

It was...something else.

Didn't the bells sound so joyous, though?

I can wait no longer.

I want the boy.

Tomorrow.

James, you look so unwell.

Let me fetch the doctor for you.

I will be all right.

Tomorrow.

I am not keeping Sidney from you.

- I am thinking of the boy.

- Are you?

It is in your nature

to be boundlessly generous,

but even you want something.

Even you are human.

It is one thing to offer

a place of safety to a child,

it is another thing entirely

to take advantage of the situation.

You know I cannot help but believe you.

You use that.

You torture me with possibility.

James, please, let me get the doctor.

I give you tonight to prepare the child.

Wake up. Sidney.

You must come with me.

Miss Margaret.

The way I see it...

...your pa is at the source of all this.

He put these thoughts into your mind.

There is a reason

it is called the Ellison Pox.

I can't tell you what love is.

I can only tell you what love is to me.

I can be myself with Emma

and know she will not turn away.

She sees what I am and she accepts me.

Perhaps with a bit of correction

when my pride gets the better of me.

If what I am saying makes things worse,

then I am sorry, but...

I have a choice.

I know it now.

To face my groom like this,

or to abandon my wedding.

I have been waiting for this day.

I have watched women younger

than myself come to the church,

one after another.

I have...

I have loved Thomas Brown from afar...

...and hoped and waited until

he approached me.

When my father died,

I believed I was free of him.

But...he lives in my mind still.

We may be done with the past,

but the past is not done with us.

I will not be defeated.

I will go up the aisle...like this.

I could hardly believe

how many people came out.

You've done it now.

Now you know how it feels.

I did like the feel of my heart pounding.

I am glad I did it,

because now I see that kind of thing,

trouble and the like,

it in't me.

I know it in't.

There's nothing wrong with Alf Arless

just the way he is.

What I know is, I love my life.

I am blessed.

I was born to enjoy the sun

coming up of a morning,

and the look on a face when I play a tune.

I saw these and I knew

I had to pick 'em for you.

Chrysanthemums is for love

and cheerfulness.

Minnie.

Come here.

You know where Sidney is, don't you?

You have hidden him.

I heard him praying.

His whole heart wants to be here,

and it in't right to send him away

and I won't do it

and I won't let you do it.

Do you suppose that you know

what is right in all this, Minnie?

He has a father.

A family.

We cannot turn away

from the ties of blood.

But he loves you, ma'am.

Oh, Minnie.

We will be here for Sidney.

Be part of his life.

But he must go to Mr Dowland.

Must?

Must.

It would be selfish to think otherwise.

Go and fetch him, Minnie.

Pa!

I have something for you.

A book of poems.

Sonnets.

In't Queenie always saying,

when we let go, the answer will appear?

Thomas Brown, are you skulking?

My wife-to-be is being kept from me.

It's bad luck for a man to see his bride.

Only on his wedding day. This is uncalled

for. There must be a reason.

That's a superstition

from the days when a man

had not so much as glimpsed his bride

till he met her at the altar.

He might not like the look of her, see.

He might run away.

That's why there's a veil, to

hide her face, in case she in't a picture.

A man has to do the nuptials first,

then take a look.

I must see Miss Margaret today.

You'll see enough of her

after the wedding.

A hundred years of nagging awaits you.

Rest your ears while you can, man!

Ow! Oh! Oh!

Ohhh. Eh...

You can work in the Post Office

on Saturdays.

Laura will take you out on her rounds.

A sausage.

To gird you.

Come here to me, boy.

Don't back away from me.

Don't turn away from me.

I give you tonight to prepare the child.

I have no plan.

But I could not let that boy

see me hand him over,

abandon him.

At least he knows he is wanted.

What is it, Sidney?

My ma.

When she took me to that school,

and left me...

..was it because I wasn't good enough?

No, Little Man.

It certainly was not.

You are more than good enough.

I don't know what to do.

I don't know what is best.

We have a conscience for a reason.

Birds don't have one, as far as I can see.

Dogs don't show

much sign of living by one.

We are given our conscience,

because if we don't live by it, it hurts.

Do you know what it is I am talking about?

I do.

I want to do the right thing.

I know you do.

But I can't seem to find what that is.

I think you can.

And I think you'll do the right thing.

Warm your hands, James.

Enjoy the stars over Lark Rise.

Miss Margaret.

I have something

I would like to read to you.

It's only words,

but if you ask me, it's as close

to a magic spell as words can get.

You close your eyes

and you listen with all your heart.

If I were to ask you to take on Sidney,

I mean, fully take him on...

would you?

If that is what you want.

Is it what you want?

When my mother died,

it almost broke me in two.

But I had Queenie.

I can feel the...

What Sidney needs,

it is the same thing.

I see now that I can give that to him.

And you?

I will have to start again.

I would like to tell Sidney myself.

I will make sure that Dorcas

knows where to find me.

If you would like,

perhaps we can meet.

In London.

Or I can come back here.

I never knew my father.

My whole life...

...I didn't think it mattered.

But it does.

It does.

When you are ready...

...and when I am ready...

...perhaps...

I want you to look after that for me.

With Dorcas he will have a chance.

She can teach him

to try and find a life worth living.

And what about you?

What about your chance?

Queenie, I believed the reason I came

back here was to relive my own past,

recreate my life so that it worked.

But it was not meant to be.

Perhaps it is meant.

Only, not for you, James.

Perhaps you came back here

and everything that's happened

since you returned,

in order to bring the boy to us.

To bring him to his true home.

How could I,

if I didn't even know he existed?

Do you suppose that matters?

How do I know the wind should blow?

Because it's blowing.

I don't understand you, Queenie.

I never did.

You accept life...

and I fight it.

Perhaps you will have done

with the fighting...

...when you've had enough of it.

You go and find your own life out there,

James, wherever it is.

You deserve it.

We all do.

Queenie, you are right.

A life worth living.

Thomas, heavens! You are not dressed.

The Lord set me a mission, Miss Lane,

and I have failed Him.

Your confessions?

Thomas, you are always telling me

that we live by God's will,

isn't that so?

Perhaps, then, the reason

He has kept Miss Ellison from you

these past few days

is so that you might NOT confess to her.

He is, after all, The Almighty.

Then why was I given a sign,

in The Book Of Common Prayer?

Because, Thomas...

...God clearly wished you to cleanse

your soul before no-one but Him.

Miss Lane...

...you are correct!

Yes.

It is my one weakness.

Let me not to the marriage

of true minds admit impediments.

Love is not love which alters

when it alteration finds.

Or bends with the remover to remove.

O no! It is an ever-fixed mark

That looks on tempests

and is never shaken.

It is the star to every wand'ring bark,

Whose worth's unknown,

although his height be taken.

Love's not Time's fool

Though rosy lips and cheeks

Within his bending sickle's compass come.

Love alters not

with his brief hours and weeks,

But bears it out even to the edge of doom.

If this be error and upon me proved,

I never writ, nor no man ever loved.

Hamlet folk

used to call it the "ok'ard age, "

a child who was more like an adult.

Perhaps that "ok'ard age" never ends.

Perhaps we're all children

trying to be adults.