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1
00:00:10,400 --> 00:00:13,160
BEN: Christmas is weird,
when you think about it.
2
00:00:13,360 --> 00:00:16,480
Everyone treats it like
this family-friendly celebration,
3
00:00:16,680 --> 00:00:18,600
but if you read the story properly,
4
00:00:18,800 --> 00:00:22,240
it's all about virgin pregnancies,
murdering babies
5
00:00:22,440 --> 00:00:24,760
and kicking people out
onto the street.
6
00:00:25,160 --> 00:00:27,320
Merry Christmas!
7
00:00:28,280 --> 00:00:31,840
- Mum, you can't wear that.
- Ai-ya, no respect.
8
00:00:32,040 --> 00:00:35,920
Tam, look what I found.
Remember Rudolf-lah?
9
00:00:36,560 --> 00:00:38,680
Yep. I made it for Dad.
10
00:00:40,720 --> 00:00:44,200
So how's Dad getting his presents
under the tree this year?
11
00:00:44,400 --> 00:00:46,800
At Christmas,
Dad helps with the tree,
12
00:00:47,000 --> 00:00:49,560
but on the day,
he just heads to work.
13
00:00:49,760 --> 00:00:52,600
At least he won't need to travel far
now he's sleeping there.
14
00:00:52,800 --> 00:00:56,320
Plus, Dad doesn't like how
all our presents are made in China,
15
00:00:56,520 --> 00:00:58,840
even though he was made there too.
16
00:00:59,040 --> 00:01:01,160
ANDREW: Ben, did you read
the manual?
17
00:01:01,720 --> 00:01:03,160
Yeah.
18
00:01:03,600 --> 00:01:05,360
- There!
- Yeah!
19
00:01:06,800 --> 00:01:09,640
It never looks like that
when Dad does it.
20
00:01:22,760 --> 00:01:25,680
It said she was looking
for all ages and body types.
21
00:01:27,000 --> 00:01:28,320
Ben?
22
00:01:28,520 --> 00:01:30,600
- Sorry, what?
- What's wrong?
23
00:01:30,800 --> 00:01:32,920
You haven't interrupted once.
24
00:01:33,120 --> 00:01:36,400
What if Mum never lets Dad back?
It's already been a week.
25
00:01:36,600 --> 00:01:38,720
It'll be fine. It's not permanent.
26
00:01:38,920 --> 00:01:41,520
- It was for Troy.
- Troy's an only child.
27
00:01:41,760 --> 00:01:45,160
And parents are more likely
to endure a horrible sadness the more kids there are.
28
00:01:45,360 --> 00:01:46,920
Oh, my God, stop!
29
00:01:47,120 --> 00:01:49,280
Sorry, I was just
checking your coccyx.
30
00:01:49,480 --> 00:01:51,080
This is it.
31
00:01:51,280 --> 00:01:53,200
Beryl Streep!
32
00:01:54,240 --> 00:01:55,800
You ready?
33
00:02:01,280 --> 00:02:02,680
Well...
34
00:02:02,880 --> 00:02:05,080
This is so impressive!
35
00:02:11,040 --> 00:02:13,840
And it's so refreshing
to see the diversity here.
36
00:02:14,040 --> 00:02:16,640
I mean, you with
your... Orientalism
37
00:02:16,840 --> 00:02:19,840
and you with your...
38
00:02:20,040 --> 00:02:22,240
differently-abled carriage.
39
00:02:24,680 --> 00:02:28,920
So, you want to be actors, hmm?
Tell me why.
40
00:02:29,120 --> 00:02:31,240
Well, I've always liked
making people happy.
41
00:02:31,440 --> 00:02:34,480
It's true. Every time he gets on
stage, people can't stop laughing.
42
00:02:34,680 --> 00:02:36,800
That's good, that's good.
43
00:02:37,000 --> 00:02:38,667
And do you have
any on-camera experience?
44
00:02:38,720 --> 00:02:41,120
Our clarinet ensemble
was on the local news once.
45
00:02:41,320 --> 00:02:44,600
In the background, on a story
on the crystal meth epidemic.
46
00:02:44,800 --> 00:02:47,680
Well, that's... something.
47
00:02:50,680 --> 00:02:54,440
Now, I see something special
in you both.
48
00:02:55,120 --> 00:02:56,800
But before we move on,
49
00:02:57,000 --> 00:03:00,120
there's just the minor matter
of our membership fees.
50
00:03:04,800 --> 00:03:08,320
- DANNY: $400 is a lot of money.
- It's an investment. In my career.
51
00:03:08,520 --> 00:03:09,960
- $100.
- Dad...
52
00:03:10,160 --> 00:03:12,680
- $125.
- You can't bargain. It's a set fee.
53
00:03:14,760 --> 00:03:16,640
What are you doing
to your underwear?
54
00:03:16,840 --> 00:03:18,440
It kills the germs.
55
00:03:19,960 --> 00:03:22,960
It's just until your mum decides
not to be crazy any more.
56
00:03:23,160 --> 00:03:24,840
You may be waiting a while.
57
00:03:25,040 --> 00:03:27,760
And Christmas always
makes her go even more nuts.
58
00:03:28,800 --> 00:03:30,920
Dad... you should come to Christmas.
59
00:03:31,120 --> 00:03:33,880
Ai-ya, you know how many customers
I get for Christmas.
60
00:03:34,080 --> 00:03:36,640
All the other restaurants are
closed, so they have no choice,
61
00:03:36,840 --> 00:03:38,360
which means...
62
00:03:38,680 --> 00:03:40,764
If you took Christmas off,
brought Mum a present...
63
00:03:40,920 --> 00:03:43,720
Can't we do Christmas another day?
64
00:03:44,720 --> 00:03:47,160
I can't do it. There's no way.
65
00:03:51,680 --> 00:03:55,000
"Ooh, look at us!
We have the perfect marriage.
66
00:03:55,760 --> 00:03:59,120
"We have a perfect home
and we have perfect children.
67
00:03:59,320 --> 00:04:02,360
"Both of them have eyelids..."
Blah, blah, blah!
68
00:04:10,520 --> 00:04:12,440
(DOOR BELL RINGS)
69
00:04:14,360 --> 00:04:16,680
- BOTH: Ai-ya!
- Aunty... Aunty.
70
00:04:31,600 --> 00:04:34,800
Ai-ya, Candy's pippy hairs,
blocking the drain!
71
00:04:35,000 --> 00:04:36,760
BOTH: Ah-Jenny!
72
00:04:41,000 --> 00:04:42,560
Aunty... Aunty.
73
00:05:07,320 --> 00:05:08,440
What?
74
00:05:18,360 --> 00:05:19,840
Lady-boys.
75
00:05:23,680 --> 00:05:25,640
- Someone got her period!
- Shut up, Michelle!
76
00:05:25,840 --> 00:05:27,360
I'm going to kill you!
77
00:05:27,560 --> 00:05:30,040
Someone got her period...
78
00:05:30,880 --> 00:05:32,760
Ai-ya, such busybodies!
79
00:05:32,960 --> 00:05:34,880
Judge judge, snoop snoop!
80
00:05:35,080 --> 00:05:38,880
Hello? At least I didn't have an
affair with my cousin, Aunty Daisy.
81
00:05:39,480 --> 00:05:41,920
Wait, you're not supposed
to know about that.
82
00:05:44,960 --> 00:05:47,720
So, I spoke to Dad and...
83
00:05:48,000 --> 00:05:49,760
he's coming over for Christmas.
84
00:05:50,200 --> 00:05:52,840
(SCOFFS) I don't think so.
85
00:05:54,360 --> 00:05:57,360
You remember one time your daddy
says he'll come to Christmas?
86
00:05:57,560 --> 00:06:00,200
- You were so excited.
- I remember.
87
00:06:00,400 --> 00:06:04,000
But no Daddy.
You all went to bed so disappointed.
88
00:06:04,200 --> 00:06:08,160
Then he wakes you up in the middle
of the night, dressed as Santa.
89
00:06:08,360 --> 00:06:10,600
Scared out your living shit!
90
00:06:10,800 --> 00:06:12,600
This will be different.
91
00:06:12,800 --> 00:06:14,920
He's taking the day off work for us.
92
00:06:17,120 --> 00:06:19,680
Okay. So Daddy comes.
93
00:06:19,880 --> 00:06:21,240
Then what?
94
00:06:21,600 --> 00:06:24,280
Daddy complains, everyone stress...
95
00:06:24,480 --> 00:06:28,800
I'll do it.
Decorations, shopping, the food...
96
00:06:29,640 --> 00:06:31,360
Everything.
97
00:06:31,800 --> 00:06:33,480
You?
98
00:06:33,680 --> 00:06:36,440
Just give Dad this one chance.
99
00:06:38,160 --> 00:06:41,200
You know, when we first
got married, I was so happy.
100
00:06:41,400 --> 00:06:44,880
Daddy was so handsome.
Everyone said "Perfect couple."
101
00:06:45,080 --> 00:06:48,680
Then after,
pop-pop-pop, baby-baby-baby.
102
00:06:48,880 --> 00:06:50,680
Then cooking, cleaning,
wipe up poo-poo.
103
00:06:50,880 --> 00:06:52,840
No more romantic time, nothing.
104
00:06:53,040 --> 00:06:55,160
Poof! All gone.
105
00:07:02,080 --> 00:07:04,520
And you won't need to worry
because when you come over...
106
00:07:04,720 --> 00:07:07,554
- I haven't said I'm coming over.
- ...you won't need to do a thing.
107
00:07:07,560 --> 00:07:09,680
- Mum will be relaxed...
- Yeah, but...
108
00:07:10,360 --> 00:07:13,040
And I've spoken to Uncle Clement.
He'll open and close.
109
00:07:13,240 --> 00:07:16,800
All you have to do is turn up, and
then it's going to be so much fun.
110
00:07:17,000 --> 00:07:21,000
- Everything will go perfectly and...
- Okay, okay. Okay.
111
00:07:22,240 --> 00:07:24,280
- You're a good boy.
- Dad, come on!
112
00:07:24,480 --> 00:07:26,440
I don't just wake up like this.
113
00:07:26,640 --> 00:07:29,680
Okay. This is for food.
Get only the best.
114
00:07:29,880 --> 00:07:31,800
No home brand, okay?
115
00:07:34,280 --> 00:07:37,360
- What are you wearing?
- Do you like it?
116
00:07:37,560 --> 00:07:41,160
They say red...
is the most eye-catching colour!
117
00:07:46,280 --> 00:07:49,800
(CLARINETS PLAY 'JINGLE BELLS')
118
00:08:05,560 --> 00:08:08,000
Eugh! Why would someone
give us a tooth?
119
00:08:08,200 --> 00:08:10,200
Oh, no, it's a Tic Tac.
120
00:08:11,160 --> 00:08:13,280
Nuh! That's a tooth.
121
00:08:13,640 --> 00:08:17,000
Are all parents so difficult?
How come yours are so close?
122
00:08:17,200 --> 00:08:19,280
Well, Mum says touch is the key.
123
00:08:19,480 --> 00:08:20,520
Yuck!
124
00:08:20,720 --> 00:08:22,360
Listen to this.
125
00:08:25,040 --> 00:08:27,320
(MUFFLED CRIES)
126
00:08:27,520 --> 00:08:29,920
Is that... human?
127
00:08:30,120 --> 00:08:31,720
That's Mum.
128
00:08:32,200 --> 00:08:34,400
(FEMALE SQUEALS & MALE GRUNTS)
129
00:08:34,600 --> 00:08:36,200
That's Dad.
130
00:08:36,880 --> 00:08:38,360
(WHOOSHING NOISE)
131
00:08:39,360 --> 00:08:41,560
Sorry, that's the blender.
I was making a smoothie.
132
00:08:41,760 --> 00:08:44,120
Can I use two Shop-A-Dockets
at the same time?
133
00:08:44,320 --> 00:08:46,840
And I also have
my "Sassy Singles" discount card.
134
00:08:47,040 --> 00:08:49,320
Miss Streep! Hello!
135
00:08:50,280 --> 00:08:53,760
Oh, hello, you... two.
136
00:08:53,960 --> 00:08:55,640
And look at those outfits.
137
00:08:55,840 --> 00:08:57,640
So precious! (LAUGHS)
138
00:08:57,840 --> 00:09:00,080
We've been busking so that
we can afford your fees...
139
00:09:00,280 --> 00:09:01,960
Miss Streep, we were wondering,
140
00:09:02,160 --> 00:09:04,080
do you offer payment
plans of any sort?
141
00:09:04,280 --> 00:09:05,960
Because if we put down a deposit...
142
00:09:06,160 --> 00:09:10,200
As soon as you have the cash,
I will find you work immediately.
143
00:09:10,400 --> 00:09:12,200
I mean, with a face like yours...
144
00:09:16,680 --> 00:09:18,760
Okay, well...
145
00:09:18,960 --> 00:09:20,640
Merry Christmas!
146
00:09:23,080 --> 00:09:26,760
Seven, eight, nine dollars and...
147
00:09:27,520 --> 00:09:29,960
80 cents change.
148
00:09:30,320 --> 00:09:32,200
Which brings us to a new total of...
149
00:09:32,400 --> 00:09:33,840
What are you doing?
150
00:09:34,040 --> 00:09:35,040
Hey!
151
00:09:35,200 --> 00:09:37,000
Seriously? Acting?
152
00:09:37,200 --> 00:09:39,520
She's represented two Most Promising
New Talent Logie nominees.
153
00:09:39,720 --> 00:09:41,520
Ben, all these people are 'gweilo'.
154
00:09:41,720 --> 00:09:44,480
She may as well call it
the Aryan Acting Academy.
155
00:09:45,360 --> 00:09:47,040
Oh, well, she's black.
156
00:09:48,040 --> 00:09:51,840
Actually... that might be a tan.
157
00:09:53,880 --> 00:09:55,640
(SLAPPING SOUND)
158
00:09:58,080 --> 00:10:00,760
Tammy, please, you don't
tenderise an intact bird.
159
00:10:00,960 --> 00:10:02,200
Are you sure about this?
160
00:10:02,400 --> 00:10:05,600
Mrs Campbell from Home Ec said
cooking turkey's really hard.
161
00:10:05,800 --> 00:10:07,520
Yes, well, after her nervous
breakdown,
162
00:10:07,720 --> 00:10:09,920
Mrs Campbell probably thinks
everything is hard.
163
00:10:10,120 --> 00:10:12,240
Why not just do Mum's steamboat?
Then we could put these in.
164
00:10:12,440 --> 00:10:14,440
Because we're doing
a proper Christmas this year!
165
00:10:17,440 --> 00:10:19,120
Now stretch this open.
166
00:10:19,320 --> 00:10:22,000
- Open it.
- Eurgh! Gross!
167
00:10:22,200 --> 00:10:23,280
Eurgh!!
168
00:10:24,480 --> 00:10:26,800
(SQUEALS)
169
00:10:28,920 --> 00:10:31,280
(ALL SQUEAL)
170
00:10:32,160 --> 00:10:35,000
The poor turkey. So spread open.
171
00:10:35,200 --> 00:10:37,284
If anyone knows
what that feels like, it's Jenny...
172
00:10:37,360 --> 00:10:38,760
ALL: Mum!
173
00:10:38,960 --> 00:10:41,000
Will your dad even eat this?
174
00:10:41,720 --> 00:10:43,720
Is Dad coming over for Christmas?
175
00:10:45,800 --> 00:10:47,840
TAM & MICHELLE: Yay!!
176
00:10:52,520 --> 00:10:57,720
(RHYTHMIC BEATING)
177
00:10:58,280 --> 00:10:59,920
Come on!
178
00:11:00,800 --> 00:11:03,040
Form. Stiff. Peaks.
179
00:11:43,400 --> 00:11:44,440
(GASPS)
180
00:11:44,640 --> 00:11:46,000
Good evening, sister.
181
00:11:46,200 --> 00:11:47,280
Ben!
182
00:11:47,480 --> 00:11:49,720
Jesus, you almost gave me
a heart attack.
183
00:11:49,920 --> 00:11:52,240
Mum said
you were going out with Nicki.
184
00:11:52,440 --> 00:11:54,600
I didn't know Nicki had...
185
00:11:54,800 --> 00:11:56,520
become a man!
186
00:11:57,520 --> 00:11:59,520
Oh, my God! Have you...
187
00:11:59,920 --> 00:12:02,560
- Ben! Gross!
- Do Mum and Dad know?
188
00:12:02,760 --> 00:12:05,440
Don't say anything.
They have enough to worry about.
189
00:12:05,640 --> 00:12:07,600
What's in it for me?
190
00:12:11,920 --> 00:12:12,920
50.
- 20.
191
00:12:13,120 --> 00:12:14,760
- 45.
- 25, otherwise I'll tell everyone
192
00:12:14,960 --> 00:12:16,640
about the time you bent over
in the bathroom to stare at your...
193
00:12:16,840 --> 00:12:18,280
Deal!
194
00:12:31,920 --> 00:12:34,920
You are Martha Stewart.
You are Nigella Lawson.
195
00:12:35,120 --> 00:12:38,240
You are the Two Fat Ladies
before their untimely deaths.
196
00:12:39,920 --> 00:12:40,920
Tammy!
197
00:12:41,080 --> 00:12:43,920
I said the size of matchsticks.
Those look like toes.
198
00:12:44,200 --> 00:12:47,040
Michelle, please!
You have to let the dough rest.
199
00:12:47,240 --> 00:12:49,640
(SNEEZES) JENNY: Ho-ho-ho!
200
00:12:50,280 --> 00:12:52,720
Mum... Where did you get that?
201
00:12:52,920 --> 00:12:55,360
Oh, it was on sale
at Wicked But Wonderful.
202
00:12:55,560 --> 00:12:56,960
Just like Mummy.
203
00:12:57,160 --> 00:12:58,160
(CAR HORN TOOTS)
204
00:12:58,320 --> 00:12:59,680
Dad's here!
205
00:13:00,160 --> 00:13:02,600
Yaaaaay! Dad, Dad, Dad...
206
00:13:10,800 --> 00:13:12,960
Okay, okay... Tam, stop it!
207
00:13:13,160 --> 00:13:16,080
Careful this one.
Ay, oh, oh... careful.
208
00:13:16,280 --> 00:13:18,520
No, no, no! Don't shake that.
209
00:13:19,240 --> 00:13:22,000
- Careful, careful.
- Okay, girls... careful, okay?
210
00:13:23,960 --> 00:13:26,240
Ah-Jun... these are for you.
211
00:13:28,800 --> 00:13:30,560
Oh... they're lovely.
212
00:13:30,760 --> 00:13:33,120
- Let me put them in water for you.
- No, that's okay, I can do it.
213
00:13:33,320 --> 00:13:36,240
- Mum, can we open a present now?
- Okay, just one each.
214
00:13:36,440 --> 00:13:37,520
Ah-Tam-Tam...
215
00:13:38,760 --> 00:13:40,120
Ah-Candy...
216
00:13:40,840 --> 00:13:43,080
Um... I'll be back, in a sec.
217
00:13:43,280 --> 00:13:44,840
- Okay.
- MICHELLE: What'd you get?
218
00:13:45,040 --> 00:13:46,520
Ah-Ben...
219
00:13:47,080 --> 00:13:48,880
Awesome! Thanks, Dad.
220
00:13:49,080 --> 00:13:50,440
Andrew-ah...
221
00:13:51,560 --> 00:13:54,320
TAM: Billion bubbles generated.
222
00:13:55,320 --> 00:13:57,000
(SIGHS) $50 short.
223
00:14:08,720 --> 00:14:11,080
Remember the first time
you brought me flowers?
224
00:14:11,280 --> 00:14:14,080
It was on our first date
in Tsim Tsa Tsui.
225
00:14:14,280 --> 00:14:15,320
Oh, yes...
226
00:14:15,520 --> 00:14:17,200
- Cherry blossoms...
- Oriental lilies.
227
00:14:17,400 --> 00:14:21,240
Oh... Oriental lilies. Of course.
I always get them confused.
228
00:14:24,200 --> 00:14:25,520
Ah-Jun...
229
00:14:25,920 --> 00:14:27,440
I've been thinking that...
230
00:14:27,640 --> 00:14:29,240
Let's talk later.
231
00:14:29,440 --> 00:14:32,080
Today's about the kids.
232
00:14:32,880 --> 00:14:34,320
Oh, you're right.
233
00:14:37,880 --> 00:14:41,400
Mum, Mum, Mum, Mum!
Look what Dad got me.
234
00:14:41,600 --> 00:14:42,320
Oh!
235
00:14:42,520 --> 00:14:46,080
I'm going to call her Buttons.
Hew-wo, Buttons.
236
00:14:52,360 --> 00:14:55,520
But, Mum, she's so cute!
237
00:14:57,280 --> 00:14:59,680
Okay, okay.
But where will it live?
238
00:14:59,880 --> 00:15:02,840
I've taken care of that. Outside.
239
00:15:03,040 --> 00:15:05,520
Kids! Out the back. Come on.
240
00:15:05,720 --> 00:15:08,400
You shouldn't be here.
It's Christmas!
241
00:15:08,600 --> 00:15:10,360
I had to see you.
242
00:15:11,560 --> 00:15:12,600
Oh!
243
00:15:12,800 --> 00:15:14,440
What is it?
244
00:15:14,640 --> 00:15:16,480
You'll see.
245
00:15:16,680 --> 00:15:19,400
"For when I'm not there."
Oh, Wayne...
246
00:15:19,600 --> 00:15:21,880
You are ruining everything.
Get back inside!
247
00:15:22,080 --> 00:15:23,640
What are you talking about?
248
00:15:23,840 --> 00:15:25,600
(VOICES FROM INSIDE)
249
00:15:27,800 --> 00:15:29,840
You have to go. Now!
250
00:15:35,520 --> 00:15:38,040
- Hey, hey! What's going on?
- I'll call the police!
251
00:15:38,240 --> 00:15:39,800
No, wait!
252
00:15:40,360 --> 00:15:41,920
This is Wayne.
253
00:15:44,080 --> 00:15:45,880
My boyfriend.
254
00:15:47,560 --> 00:15:49,120
G'day.
255
00:15:49,920 --> 00:15:51,520
JENNY: But he's a white man.
256
00:15:51,720 --> 00:15:54,160
CANDY: Yeah, I think I've noticed
that because I have eyes.
257
00:15:54,360 --> 00:15:57,320
Stop being so racist.
Your mummy doesn't see race.
258
00:15:57,520 --> 00:16:00,040
She only sees people.
How come you didn't tell me?
259
00:16:00,280 --> 00:16:03,120
- Because I knew you'd be like this.
- You should be thinking about university.
260
00:16:03,320 --> 00:16:04,440
I've already applied!
261
00:16:04,640 --> 00:16:07,880
Australian boys are only
interested in one thing.
262
00:16:08,080 --> 00:16:09,760
S-E-X.
263
00:16:10,560 --> 00:16:13,840
Asian vaginas are smaller.
Fun for them, pain for you!
264
00:16:14,040 --> 00:16:17,320
- Mum, Wayne is not like that.
- How do you know?
265
00:16:17,520 --> 00:16:19,440
You've known this boy for how long?
266
00:16:19,640 --> 00:16:22,057
Probably as long as you and Dad did
before you got married.
267
00:16:22,200 --> 00:16:24,040
Exactly! Look where we are now.
268
00:16:24,240 --> 00:16:25,560
Who's hungry?
269
00:16:25,760 --> 00:16:27,000
This is different.
270
00:16:27,200 --> 00:16:28,800
Candy, you don't know
what you're talking about.
271
00:16:29,000 --> 00:16:30,640
We're in love!
272
00:16:34,200 --> 00:16:35,640
Food's ready!
273
00:16:38,400 --> 00:16:40,280
Mmm...
274
00:16:49,680 --> 00:16:50,680
Wayne!
275
00:16:50,880 --> 00:16:52,920
More turkey? Don't be shy.
276
00:16:53,120 --> 00:16:54,680
Thank you.
277
00:16:55,560 --> 00:16:57,240
So, Wang...
278
00:16:58,320 --> 00:16:59,960
Wayne.
279
00:17:00,320 --> 00:17:02,920
Wayne. What is your job?
280
00:17:04,400 --> 00:17:06,000
I'm a plumber.
281
00:17:06,200 --> 00:17:07,360
ALL: Oh...
282
00:17:11,800 --> 00:17:13,400
Ben...
283
00:17:13,600 --> 00:17:15,920
This is so good!
284
00:17:16,480 --> 00:17:19,280
And by the way, you guys
are totally not what I expected,
285
00:17:19,480 --> 00:17:21,920
the way that
Candy speaks about you...
286
00:17:22,800 --> 00:17:24,840
More gravy?
287
00:17:25,040 --> 00:17:27,480
- It's made with real blood.
- Yum!
288
00:17:27,680 --> 00:17:29,640
Ben, sit down.
Your turkey's getting cold.
289
00:17:29,840 --> 00:17:31,640
We can take care of ourselves.
290
00:17:42,280 --> 00:17:44,905
- Asian languages are so interesting.
- Who wants another drink?
291
00:17:47,760 --> 00:17:50,440
Mum, Dad... speak English!
292
00:17:54,840 --> 00:17:56,360
I have something to say!
293
00:17:57,440 --> 00:18:00,640
Just wanted to make a toast to
the family and belonging to this one.
294
00:18:03,720 --> 00:18:05,679
- Stop interrupting!
- All gathering together...
295
00:18:05,800 --> 00:18:08,320
to forgive and forget...
296
00:18:08,520 --> 00:18:09,520
everything.
297
00:18:09,680 --> 00:18:13,960
Mm. Like letting strangers
into our house on Christmas Day.
298
00:18:14,160 --> 00:18:15,840
And into our daughter, probably.
299
00:18:16,320 --> 00:18:18,200
He is not a stranger!
300
00:18:19,280 --> 00:18:20,960
We are in love.
301
00:18:21,680 --> 00:18:23,040
And...
302
00:18:23,760 --> 00:18:25,320
we're getting married.
303
00:18:25,520 --> 00:18:28,960
What? What are you saying?
You only just met.
304
00:18:30,520 --> 00:18:33,360
We've... been together for a year.
305
00:18:33,560 --> 00:18:36,320
A year? When? How?
306
00:18:36,520 --> 00:18:39,640
All your sleepovers at Nicki's.
The "mathletics" competition.
307
00:18:39,840 --> 00:18:41,160
Schoolies!
308
00:18:41,640 --> 00:18:44,960
- This is a house of lies!
- I didn't teach my children to lie.
309
00:18:45,160 --> 00:18:47,280
Stop it!
Stop treating me like a child.
310
00:18:47,480 --> 00:18:49,400
- BOTH: You are a child!
- I am not a child!
311
00:18:50,440 --> 00:18:51,960
(EVERYONE SHOUTS AT ONCE)
312
00:18:52,160 --> 00:18:55,040
Shut up, shut up, shut up!
Shut up, all of you!
313
00:18:55,680 --> 00:18:58,240
I just wanted today to be pleasant!
314
00:18:58,760 --> 00:19:02,160
(GROANING)
315
00:19:04,640 --> 00:19:06,080
Oh, Michelle!
316
00:19:06,280 --> 00:19:09,080
(MICHELLE RETCHES)
317
00:19:15,520 --> 00:19:18,520
The recipe said it's ready
once the juice runs clear.
318
00:19:18,720 --> 00:19:19,840
What?
319
00:19:20,040 --> 00:19:22,120
I said it can't have been the turkey.
320
00:19:22,320 --> 00:19:25,400
It's supposed to be ready
once the juice runs clear.
321
00:19:25,600 --> 00:19:28,720
Oh, yes!
It's definitely running clear.
322
00:19:28,920 --> 00:19:31,200
I ruined everything.
323
00:19:31,400 --> 00:19:32,400
Oh...
324
00:19:38,000 --> 00:19:39,560
I'm sorry, Dad.
325
00:19:39,760 --> 00:19:42,640
That's okay.
You were just trying to help.
326
00:19:42,840 --> 00:19:44,840
Next time. Okay.
327
00:19:45,760 --> 00:19:47,440
Oh, oh...
328
00:19:55,160 --> 00:19:56,520
Just in case.
329
00:19:56,720 --> 00:19:57,840
Bye!
330
00:20:26,280 --> 00:20:28,280
What'd you do with my money?
331
00:20:37,400 --> 00:20:40,320
You were short.
I made up the difference.
332
00:20:41,280 --> 00:20:43,320
And this looks more professional.
333
00:20:47,280 --> 00:20:49,120
Not so tight, not so tight...
334
00:20:57,840 --> 00:20:59,280
Oh, Ah-Ben...
335
00:20:59,480 --> 00:21:00,600
What?
336
00:21:01,680 --> 00:21:03,120
Come here.
337
00:21:15,560 --> 00:21:17,240
I'm sorry.
338
00:21:17,880 --> 00:21:20,680
I know you worked
really hard for today.
339
00:21:20,880 --> 00:21:24,960
And I know you're very upset
about the turkey.
340
00:21:26,240 --> 00:21:28,360
We all are.
341
00:21:29,360 --> 00:21:31,640
But I want you to know...
342
00:21:33,880 --> 00:21:36,920
(VERY DEEP BURP)
343
00:21:43,200 --> 00:21:46,840
I want you to know
that today was almost perfect.
344
00:21:47,720 --> 00:21:49,160
Almost.
345
00:21:49,360 --> 00:21:52,840
But even if it was 100%...
346
00:21:53,240 --> 00:21:57,560
that still doesn't mean all
the other days are suddenly okay.
347
00:21:57,760 --> 00:22:00,440
Why can't you just forgive Dad?
348
00:22:03,440 --> 00:22:05,680
How can I accept
your father's apology
349
00:22:05,880 --> 00:22:08,320
when he hasn't even apologised?
350
00:22:15,520 --> 00:22:16,640
Hey!
351
00:22:17,520 --> 00:22:20,160
Someone didn't open their gift.
352
00:22:24,360 --> 00:22:26,040
"For when I'm not there."
353
00:22:26,240 --> 00:22:29,400
See? I knew Dad wouldn't just
give you discount flowers.
354
00:22:31,080 --> 00:22:33,280
Maybe I underestimated him.
355
00:22:33,720 --> 00:22:35,120
Wait...
356
00:22:36,320 --> 00:22:38,160
What is that?
357
00:22:54,440 --> 00:22:55,640
As an experiment,
358
00:22:55,840 --> 00:22:58,560
Danny will take the children
on Saturdays by himself.
359
00:22:58,760 --> 00:23:02,000
Dad came with us on everything
the Bee Slide, the Bee Coaster...
360
00:23:02,200 --> 00:23:03,520
Bye!
361
00:23:03,720 --> 00:23:05,640
We had fun. "Fun Dad".
362
00:23:05,840 --> 00:23:09,400
All she does is nag and shout
all the time. It's boring.
363
00:23:10,080 --> 00:23:11,520
BANG!! (ALL SCREAM)
364
00:23:12,600 --> 00:23:14,280
Mummy's coming too!
365
00:23:14,330 --> 00:23:18,880
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